#for those not entirely in the loop on the project moon situation:

[evendrierguys]

[jolinarjackson]

Hey! Do you have any irondad fic recs? I just started reading Peter and Tony fics again and I would love any recs you have!

Hello!

Yes, I do! :D It's by no means complete because I am still busy compiling, but I have quite a few already.

For all the below stories, please heed the tags and warnings on AO3. And of course, feel also free to check out my stories. :)

My AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JolinarJackson/works

The below fics are not compiled in any particular order.

If I Die Young by MusicalLuna

Summary: Tony and Steve are trying to keep their little boy (who's not so little anymore) out of the superhero business for as long as possible, but when a kid's as stubborn as Peter is, they can't always stop him.

And sometimes things go wrong. Really, really wrong.

Categories: Superfamily, Not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: This is a wonderful whump story that I go back to again and again.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423790

-----

Lightning in a Bottle by Gruoch

Summary: Peter takes the tablet and looks down at the screen, where a picture of Spider-Man intimately entangled in a passionate embrace with Johnny Storm is displayed across the majority of the Daily Bugle’s home page. TORCH CAUGHT IN SPIDER-MAN’S WEB, the headline reads, bracketed by spider and flame emojis. Peter looks back up at Tony, who is still staring at him completely stone-faced.

Tony reaches across the island and taps the screen. “So. What do you have to say about that?”

“Well. For one, I’m a little disappointed with the headline,” Peter offers.

Tony lets his chin drop against his chest, momentarily defeated, before taking a deep breath and once more skewering Peter with a hard look. “You could have at least given me some warning that the two of you are...I mean, I had my suspicions, but—”

“You’re misconstruing the situation. Spider-Man and the Torch are dating,” Peter explains. “Johnny and I are just friends.”

“Boy, you’re really leaning hard into this whole alter ego thing, aren’t you?” Tony deadpans. “How’s that working out for you?”

Categories: Irondad, SpideyTorch

Comment: I love stories taking advantage of the havoc that secret superhero identities can wreak on romantic relationships. The best about this particular story is the witty writing, which makes Peter being a chaotic mess in this even better.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413219

-----

The doubts that complicate by @frostysunflowers

Summary: "But he’s smart!" May had blurted, looking up at the teacher with misplaced anger. "I don’t...how does this make sense?"

She was worried, unaware, unprepared, not like Peter who had known for a while that some things were trickier for him than other kids. All the rules hidden in cheerful little rhymes and singing songs about which letters get along and those who don’t play nice; all the robotic reciting of the alphabet nearly every day: none of it had ever truly helped Peter understand how it all worked.

A brand new door opened in his life that day. On the front of it, the word ‘DYSLEXIC’ was printed in bold, the certainty of what it meant holding the letters permanently in place.

or

Nobody ever said being smart was easy.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This is a wonderful read. @frostysunflowers manages to describe dyslexia in a way that makes the struggle understandable. The relationship between Tony and Peter is heart-warming. This is a great read if you're in the mood for something that is not too long and still want a good dosage of H/C.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989531

-----

Accepting the Tides by Emma_Anacortes

Summary: Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May's death. It was normal that he'd grown to care a little about him, right?

Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid.

So naturally he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter's life. Naturally he'd feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter?

All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony's gonna give him hell.

Categories: Irondad, Steve & Peter

Comment: This story is intense, no doubt about it. Please heed all the warnings and tags carefully. However, if you give it a try, it's so worth it. This story presents a different backstory to the relationship of Peter and his parents (especially his father) while exploring Peter and Tony forging a father/son-bond in the wake of May's death. I have to say that the the relationship between Peter and Steve in this story is just as prominent and amazingly written. I loved every second of it.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885844/chapters/26843274

-----

with arms wide open by @parkrstark

Summary: Tony and Pepper are expecting a baby and Peter may be the one most excited...just maybe…

Categories: Irondad, Pepperony

Comment: This is undeniably cute and heart-warming: Tony and Pepper get pregnant and Peter is right there with them, freaking out. Peter spends this story preparing to become a big brother while still being unsure about whether this is the role he is going to fulfill in the baby's life. This stoy focsses on the found family that is Tony, Pepper and Peter, but there are wonderful interactions with May, Rhodey and Happy as well.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540409

-----

the stars the moon they have all been blown out (you left me in the dark) by @madasthesea

Summary: It starts off with his vision fading in and out.

What kind of demon drug can make someone go blind by inhaling a single lungful? Whatever it is, Tony doubts it’s reversible. And while Peter’s no idiot, he can be idiotically optimistic. He's determined to fix what appears to be unfixable.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is experienced entirely from Tony's point of view, which make the effects of the drug and his reaction to it all the more poignant. Tony's relationship to Peter is especially highlighted in this story. You can only imagine the worry and pain Peter geos through unil the very end of the story and the pay-off is worth it. I want to highlight the way that Tony's experiecne of the effects of the drug are described here, because I thought that was superb writing and put the reader righ in Tony's shoes.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795141/chapters/36757500

-----

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by @madasthesea

Summary: Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is just SO GOOD. Not only is Peter experiencing the same day over and over again and his identity is revealed, but the way it happens also gets more and more taxing and gruesome. This story has emotional highpoints that are written fantastically and the Irondad in this is just heart-warming.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023177/chapters/42585071

-----

How The Mighty Fall by Meep_Morp

Summary: Since his duel against Toomes on Coney Island, Peter's life has settled down considerably. May knows about his double life and accepts it (mostly). Tony has welcomed him back, and given him more independence as New York's Spider-Man.

One night during patrol he crosses paths with Connor, a teenager who has Extremis in his blood and answers to the wrong kind of people. Though Tony is quick to distrust him, Peter finds himself reluctant to follow his mentor's lead, and a bond develops between the two boys. Their relationship is further complicated when Connor's former master, Negative, makes it a personal mission to destroy them both in his quest for power.

Taking down a superpowered psychopath? Tough, but Peter isn't going to back down.

Stopping Tony from blasting his first potential boyfriend into space? He might need a miracle for that.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is so intricately plotted and just a joy to read. The characters are written to perfection and this includes an absolutely fantastic and fleshed-out OC who, as a reader, you come to care about easily and quickly. Much more subtle is the relationship between Peter and Tony in this fic but every single scene is on-point. I have read and re-read this story several times and it is hard to put aside once you start.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084407/chapters/42745826

-----

Project Pride by TheSleepingOwl

Summary: In hindsight, it should have been obvious. The signs were all there, unwittingly scattered by Peter like breadcrumbs for Tony to follow—the way he would fall into uncomfortable silence when the topic of dating came up, or become flustered whenever Tony teased him about the mysterious Michelle-Call-Me-MJ character Peter was constantly gushing about, or deflect Tony’s mostly-joking inquiries into whether or not they needed to be having The Talk with a hurricane of splutters and blushes.

And even without the signs, Peter was still his kid. Tony was just supposed to know these things.

So when FRIDAY pulled up Peter’s search history—‘how can i make myself not like boys,’ ‘can you force yourself to be attracted to girls,’ ‘how to stop your friends from knowing youre gay,’ and, most devastating, ‘how can i keep my parents from finding out im gay’—Tony wasn’t surprised so much as deeply, unquantifiably ashamed. Because he should have known.

Categories: Irondad

Comment: This story is an incredibly written POV of Tony coming to terms with Peter's sexuality. It's achingly realistic in the way Tony struggles to connect to Peter, knowing that he's gay. Additionally, this story has a hefty doese of Hurt/Comfort thrown in that hurts when reading it. This is a gem.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135138/chapters/52834021

-----

Birds Eating Other Birds by aloneintherain

Summary: Peter wishes he hadn’t gotten out of bed that morning. Then, maybe, he wouldn’t be reduced to this - limp-crawling through the rabbit burrows that is Oscorp Tower, a monster of a man on his heels, bloody and bruised and choking on a panic attack.

Categories: Irondad, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: I love aloneintherain's stories. I read them when I first got into Avengers fanfic and the way they write dynamics is great. This one is intense and the way it's written sucks you right into it. Norman Osborn is so evil and creepy in this one. Part one is mainly hurt, but stick around for the comfort in part 2!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626433

----- And here are some Avengers team dynamic fics as well -----

It Was Probably The Pudding by Serendipity_Cometh

Summary: Given that over the course of the past eleven months Peter Parker hasn't contracted so much as a head-cold, the teenager thought it safe to assume that the whole 'irradiated spider bite' gig had equipped him with an immune system of steel that rivalled Captain America's.

So when he wakes up one night in the midst of the worst asthma attack he's suffered in almost eight years, neither he nor the rest of the team can think of a logical explanation.

And everything sort of goes downhill from there.

Categories: Team, Stony, Clint/Phil, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: When I started out reading Avengers fanfictions, I stumbled across this one and go back to it on a regular basis. Lots of whump and great team dynamics.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953538/chapters/1865305

-----

In the Home by aloneintherain

Summary: The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.

“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room -”

Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes -

Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.

Categories: Team, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: One of my very early reads when I started out in the Avengers fandom. Excellent whump, hurt/comfort and team dynamics.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388563/chapters/12446069

-----

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by aloneintherain

Summary: Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

Categories: Team, not MCU!Peter Parker

Comment: There are so many "Peter trapped under a building"-stories out there but this is the one I read first and it stuck with me. Loved the team dynamic in this.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4232937

[fandom-collective-writers]

Stupid (Shaw x MC)

Fandom: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice

Pairing: Shaw x MC

Prompt: lost in the woods, ghost stories

Warning: Smut!!

Intended Audience: Female Audience

Word Count: 5,227

Requested by: anonymous

Written by: @lordsister​/@lordsisterxotome (Click here to support me on ko-fi!<3)

Disclaimer: I do not own Mr. Love Queen’s Choice or any of its characters. All of that goodness is the property of Cybird. I do, however, own the plot of this fanfic. Please do not repost this on any other website.

Other notes: I meant to post this a few days ago, buuuttt life happens. I got caught up doing all the major work for a group project and then I was too exhausted to write at night. 

       “Stupid Shaw with his stupid ghost stories and stupid voice and stupid handsome face and-” Streams of confused insults muttered past her lips as MC continued to stomp down the trail, a mantra to ward off the instinctual anxiety rising in her chest. Why had she ever agreed to come up here with him? Oh yeah, because she was weak for that voice he used when he teased her. She could see him in her mind’s eye right now, that smirk and those glittering golden eyes as he accused her of being too scared to go up the haunted mountain in the middle of the night. Why, oh why, did she have to be so easily persuaded? 

       Shaking her head, MC wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the light coat she had decided to wear. She’d chosen it in favor of looking cute rather than taking a more practical coat for the chilly autumn night, pairing it with a button-up, skirt, and thick leggings. Yet another stupid decision on her part. Always so, so stupid when it came to him. Shaw hadn’t even noticed what she was wearing, only rolling his eyes and complaining about her being late

       Now she just wanted to go home and wrap herself up in a blanket burrito, smothering all the pain and heartache away with fleecy softness and too much ice cream. If only she could find the end of the trail then it wouldn’t be far to the bus stop at the foot of the mountain, and then she could start to pretend that she hadn’t left her heart further up the mountain, in the hands of a boy who cared nothing for it except as a toy to amuse himself with for a time.

       A gasp escaped her lips as her foot skidded on a slippery part of the trail, the sound too loud in the eerie stillness of the forest. Thus far, she’d managed to keep her fear at bay, held back by the anger burning in her chest and the uncomfortable heat prickling at the corners of her eyes. It was easy to ignore the tales of tragedy and bloodshed that Shaw had told her made this mountain famous when she felt she could have wrestled a bear and won through sheer fury. Now though that energy was starting to wear off, the back of her neck prickling and her mind confusing the sound of her own heartbeat pounding in her ears for the rustle of things lurking in the bushes.

       Taking deep breaths and forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other, MC tried to reason with herself. Ghosts weren’t real, she and Shaw were the only ones on the mountain, and the bus stop wasn’t far. But she had seen too many crime cases from late night crime shows to feel at ease in the woods in the middle of the night. Not when she was basically setting herself up to be shanked or kidnapped or any number of horrible things. It was different when she was with Shaw; he had his evol to protect them, but she didn’t have anything to defend herself with, hadn’t even thought about it when she had stormed away from him and left him at the top of the mountain to do god knows what.

       It didn’t help that it seemed the weather was taking a turn for the worse. When they had arrived, it had been a clear night, the light of the moon and stars plenty to see by, but storm clouds had started rolling in soon after their fight, the rumbles of thunder increasing with each passing minute and threatening to open up on her.

       It seemed like she was making nothing but bad decisions tonight. Great.

       Another few minutes of walking and the anxiety in MC’s chest only grew. She should have reached the end of the trail by now. Had she managed to take a wrong fork in the path somewhere? Followed another trail she hadn’t noticed when they were walking up the mountain?

       A knot was rising in her throat, but she swallowed, forcing her panic back down even as her steps quickened. She hated that she had put herself in this situation, that she’d been dumb enough to get lost, but more than that she hated herself for wanting Shaw in this moment. Deep in her heart, all she wanted was his bold, smirking presence at her side, guiding her along with playful words that sent sparks through her chest and made her smile despite herself. She wanted the feeling of safety he brought when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, when he looked at her like they had some shared secret only they knew.

       Maybe she regretted yelling at him a little bit, but it was nothing he didn’t deserve after the non-stop teasing and mocking she’d received since the start of the evening. Usually MC could handle his snark, but something in her had snapped tonight, overwhelmed and embarrassed at having her feelings made a joke by this man. It made her feel foolish for ever letting herself be intrigued by him in the first place. She wanted to think she had better self-preservation than that when Shaw’s entire demeanor screamed bad boy trouble.

       ‘Forget it! It’s over; I hate you!’ The look on his face when she’d said those words though-

       Wait.

       Her steps stopped abruptly, sending a slight scattering of loose dirt and stones down the slope of the trail.

       She’d broken up with him? Vaguely the words cycled through her mind, the argument sparked by a jab too far from Shaw replaying in hurtful loops. In her angered haze, she hadn’t realized she’d said those words and now she was paying the price, her hand reaching to grip her shirt above her aching heart, heavy with fresh pain. Panic choked her soft whisper of his name, the tears rising so suddenly that a couple slipped down her cheeks. Squeezing her eyes shut, MC took deep breaths, shaking away the momentary hysteria and biting back the sobs and whimpers that threatened to escape.

       As much as she hated to consider it...maybe it was for the best. Whatever Shaw felt for her, it wasn’t nearly what she felt for him. Once upon a time, she had been attracted to that nonchalant, sassy attitude; it had been refreshing, heart-pounding. Now it only served to make her doubt herself, planting insecurities in her mind about things she’d once felt confident about and making her wonder if she wasn’t worth the effort of a real relationship. 

       Maybe this was a good thing, a signal that she needed to take a step back and take a look at herself and the person she’d become by committing to this relationship. Would she like that person? Or would she realize just what a mistake it had been to follow the boy with lavender hair and smelled of storms and faint cigarette smoke? Could she return to the person she had been before him?

       As great as it was to be coming to these realizations in the woods in the middle of the night, a sudden snap from nearby reminded her that she could soul-search just as well from the safety of her apartment where there were locked doors. She startled, breath catching in her chest as a cold sweat broke out on her back. Every instinct was telling her to run and stay put at the same time, heart pounding in her ears even as she listened for movement, wide eyes straining through the gloom in vain.

       What was probably only a few seconds felt like hours as she waited for something to jump out at her. Maybe it was just an animal? Yeah, an animal would make sense. Please, please, please just be an animal.

       The rustling came again, louder this time, and MC decided she didn’t want to stick around to find out if it really was an animal or not. Her feet slid over the loose dirt and rocks as she flew down the trail, fueled by fear and adrenaline. Rushing and thumping filled her ears, creating unseen, unheard pursuers in her mind as she ran faster, nearly tripping on exposed tree roots and tumbling down the path in her haste. 

       A face appeared in her mind’s eye, a familiar sharp chin, smirking lips, and teasing eyes making her heart and soul cry out for the one person she wished was here right now. What if she never saw him again? Never sorted things out? Had he ever cared for her as she cared for him? 

       She could feel the presence closing in at her back now, legs pumping harder despite the burn in her muscles. One name came to her, waiting to be screamed as she opened her mouth. A hand wrapped around her wrist, her feet scrabbling as she was pulled back abruptly, and her shriek of her lover’s name echoed through the trees, clawing at her attacker with her free hand as she struggled. Every nerve in her body was alight with fear, not even bothering to take a look at her pursuer as she aimed for eyes, throat, ears, anywhere that might distract them enough to release her and give her enough time to escape.

       “MC!!” 

       She froze at the sound of her name spoken in her ear, trembling as she finally opened eyes she hadn’t realized she’d closed and looked up into the face of the man holding her.

       “It’s me. Just me. Relax.” 

       Even in the dark, he was so close she could make out his wide eyes, shining with an emotion she couldn’t place, at least on his face. The warmth of his body radiated against hers as he tugged her closer, a familiar mix of ozone and smoke filling her nose.

       “S-Shaw?” she whispered shakily, legs beginning to tremble. Her heart was still pounding too fast in her chest, but the panic was already starting to dissipate, leaving relief in its wake.

       “Yeah, it’s me, baby. Shh, I’ve got you now.”

       She let him pull her shaking form into his arms, sagging against his chest as he tucked her head under his jaw. “Shaw.” His name was all she could think to say, her mind scrambled as her fingers reached to curl into the soft leather of his jacket. “Shaw!”

       “I know,” he sighed, and she thought she could feel him trembling a little too, but he pulled away before she could be sure. He frowned as he looked at her, a strange, wavering annoyance written across his face. “Are you okay?”

       She nodded, not trusting herself not to sob if she opened her mouth.

       “Good.” His grip on her shoulders tightened and a second later he was shouting, shaking her. “What were you thinking, dumbass?! Running away from me in the middle of the night! How stupid can you get?!”

       She flinched, stuttering his name before he cut her off with a, “Shut up!” 

       “Did you ever think about what could have happened if I hadn’t found you? Huh?!”

       “N-No, but-”

       “Of course you didn’t! You never think about the danger you put yourself in! You just waltz right in and cause trouble for everyone else in the process!”

       Gritting her teeth, MC began to struggle in his hold, his fingers digging too tight into her arms. The relief she had felt at his arrival disappeared under a wave of anger rising from the pit of her stomach, bringing enraged tears to her eyes as she placed her hands against his chest and pushed. “Let go of me, Shaw!”

       “Why?” he scoffed at her attempts to break his hold. “So you can go tumbling down the mountain and break your neck? So you can fall right into some pervert’s campsite?”

       “So what?!” She struggled harder, cursing the way her bottom lip trembled and her voice broke. Glaring him in the eye, she spat, “Like you would even care!” 

       Above, lightning cracked across the sky, followed a second later by booming thunder.

       With a snarl, Shaw dove down to catch her lips in a hard kiss, a shiver traveling down her spine as his breath fanned across her face. He was so close now she could see in his eyes all the emotion he’d tried so desperately to hide, all his pain and fear clear in their amber depths. 

       “How dare you act like I wouldn’t,” he breathed against her lips, and even though he wasn’t shouting anymore, the intensity and sincerity with which the words were spoken was enough to rattle everything she had believed he’d felt about her. 

       “Never, ever run away from me like that again.” His hand traveled up her arm, rough as it smoothed across her shoulder and up her neck before cradling her cheek in his palm. “Never say those words to me again.” His voice was tight, choked, and she winced when his forehead knocked against hers. “You have no idea how I felt.”

       “Shaw?” She licked her lips, not missing the way his eyes dropped to the movement. “Were you-?”

       “No!” he answered, too quickly, too harshly, catching his lip between his teeth as he half-glared at her, relief and need eroding the anger and exasperation he was desperately trying to hold on to. “Shut up!” His mouth slammed against hers again, his tongue diving between her parted lips to dominate her mouth.

       MC could barely keep up as he backed her against a tree, a flurry of teeth and tongue and hands. Automatically, she tried to kiss him back, but she was so conflicted right now she could barely manage to slant her lips against his properly, her gasps of his name cut off in his unrelenting assault on her mouth.

       His knee moved between her legs, parting them, and she gasped, jerking, when his fingers reached under her skirt and stroked her through the crotch of the thick tights she was wearing. Her body thrilled at the unfamiliar touch, arousal beginning to dampen her panties, but disquiet still gnawed at the back of her mind, making her reluctant to give in to his ministrations. Instinctively, she tried to shy away from the touch, but Shaw’s arm around her waist held her pinned against him, unable to do much more than squirm as his strokes turned harder, more insistent.

       They had never been physical before. Sure, he’d teased her, making her blush with his implied indecencies, but they had never gone farther than kissing and the occasional grope from Shaw at inappropriate moments. He had never done anything that pushed her to sleep with him or made her feel uncomfortable, and she’d appreciated him for that as she herself didn’t have anywhere near the experience he undoubtedly did, but it was all too easy to let feelings of being unwanted, of being unattractive, grow and wrap their sharp thorns around her heart and mind whenever she saw him flirting with other women, his hands on their waists or too close to the short hems of their dresses. It made her doubt whether they were ever really a couple to begin with or if it was just her own innocence and foolishness making her get ahead of herself.

       For so long, she’d thought he hadn’t wanted her, hadn’t cared for her, and those negative feelings had overflown tonight, but now she didn’t know what to think. 

       Grabbing the hand that had left her covered core in favor of slipping beneath her blouse, she managed to say, “Shaw, wait, what are you-?”

       “I need to feel you,” he actually pleaded, surprising her with the desperation in his tone. Releasing his jacket, MC took his face in her hands, making him look at her as she brushed his hair out of his eyes. Those gorgeous golden pools that had entranced her so many times shone suspiciously now as he looked at her like it would be the last time he ever saw her, drinking in her features with an intensity that took her breath away. “Please,” he whispered. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out as she watched the panic flare openly in his gaze, his breath catching in a small gasp.

       It shook her more than anything to see the boy she loved like this, her heart wanting nothing more than to wrap herself around him and take back all of her harsh words, to promise to never run from him again and give him everything he wanted, even though her mind was more reluctant.

       Biting her lip, she nodded. She couldn’t kid herself that she hadn’t wanted him. Whatever happened after this, whatever they were after this, she would deal with it and try not to regret it in the long run. 

       Shaw’s eyes closed and his head dropped to her shoulder as he sighed, “Thank you.” Her hands reached to comb soothing fingers through his hair, but she yelped, her grip tightening on the locks, when his teeth suddenly sunk into the side of her neck, abusing and sucking the skin as his grip around her waist tightened. 

       Calloused fingers made her shiver as they brushed the soft skin of her stomach, traveling up her ribcage and leaving goosebumps in their wake. A second later the appendages found the edge of her bra and slipped beneath without an ounce of hesitation to fondle the soft flesh of her breast, teasing the nipple with cold fingers. Mewling, she squirmed and arched into him as his touch sent pangs of heat straight to her core, trying and failing to close her legs around his knee.

       “Does that feel good, baby?” Shaw whispered hotly against the soft spot beneath her ear, his tongue dragging against the edge of her jaw. The soft, scared boy that had clung to her a moment ago had disappeared, buried beneath lust and need and a fighting attitude, and the change startled MC for a heartbeat before she realized it just made her want to embrace him more, take in both the vulnerable Shaw and the egotistical Shaw.

       “Yes!” she admitted, whimpering when his hand left her breast only to screech a moment later his hands gripped the edges of her blouse and tore it apart, buttons landing somewhere in the grass. “Shaw!”

       “I’ll buy you a new one,” he said offhandedly, before hooking his thumb under the center of her bra and tugging it up over her breasts. She gasped as they spilled into the cool night air, nipples hardening immediately, and moved to cover herself, but one of Shaw’s hands grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head. 

       “Don’t hide from me,” he chided, glinting eyes sinful as they peered up at her from her heaving breasts. “Your body is going to know me and me alone by the time I’m finished.”

       A cry left her lips, too loud in the quiet of the forest, as his hot mouth encased a nipple, his free hand busying itself with its twin as he moaned and sucked and rolled the bud between his teeth and tongue. She had never felt anything like it before, the sensation heady and addictive, and she bucked against his knee when it moved up to make contact with her crotch. The heat growing in the pit of her stomach made her long for him and she wanted more.

       “Mmm, you’re so responsive to me,” Shaw hummed against her breast, now wet with his saliva. She squeaked when his hand gave the opposite breast a harsh squeeze, glaring down at him as he chuckled, “So cute.”

       Whining his name, she ground against his knee as he moved it over her clothed core again, desperate for some kind of friction no matter how muffled. She had already soaked through her panties, leaving the cotton to rub against her sensitive folds uncomfortably with each drag of his knee. 

       “Shaw, please!” she urged, tugging him up by his lapels for a messy kiss. 

       He smirked against her lips, more of his usual cockiness returning. “Please what?” he asked too innocently, punctuating his words with a nip to her bottom lip. “What do you want me to do to you?”

       Half-pouting, half-glaring, she bit her lip, little tears of pleasure beaded at the corners of her eyes. He seemed taken aback a little, eyes widening as he looked away from her and clicked his tongue. She couldn’t make out the pink spreading across his cheeks in the dark. “Fine! I’ll take pity on you tonight, but don’t expect mercy from me next time,” he grumbled. 

       MC blinked. There was going to be a next time? She didn’t have time to dwell on that little note any longer as his hand released her wrists and moved to the crotch of her tights. A low whistle reached her ears as he took in the mess she’d made on his pant leg, a wet patch on the dark material.

       “Shit,” he cursed lowly, feeling his cock jump within the confines of his pants. “You’re so fucking wet and I’ve barely touched you yet.”

       “D-Don’t - SHAW!” she screamed as he tore her tights open, outraged that he’d ruined yet another piece of her clothing in the same night. “Why do you keep ruining my clothes?!”

       “You don’t need them right now,” he shrugged, licking his lips. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll make sure to take your mind off it.” 

       “But - hah!” Her protests cut off when he tugged her panties aside to stroke two fingers through her wet folds. Throwing her head back at the contact, she ground her hips into his hand, clapping a hand over her mouth to contain the embarrassing noises that threatened to escape.

       “It’s so dark, but I can see you glistening,” Shaw murmured, his voice awed and teasing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance up at her, shocked by the raw hunger and lust in his gaze. “Go ahead and try to stay quiet, I dare you. I’m going to make you scream for me.”

       She cried into her palm as a digit sunk inside of her, the sensation foreign and strange but not entirely unpleasant. Her velvet walls clenched around the intrusion, the calloused pad reaching deeper than her own fingers ever could. Despite the strangeness of it, it did little to quell the need suffusing her body, only succeeding in fanning the flames of her longing for more of him.

       “So tight around just one finger,” he hummed, letting her bury her free hand in his disheveled hair as he started to thrust the digit in and out of her. “Too tight...Don’t tell me you’re still a virgin?”

       Her eyes widened, jaw opening and closing a couple of times in broken answers before she huffed and looked away from the lengthening smirk on his face, her cheeks hot. 

       “You want me to take your first time out here in the middle of the woods?” She didn’t dare look at him for fear her heart might give out at the sheer sin painted across his face. His grip on her thigh tightened, another finger joining the first and making her shudder. “You want to lose your innocence to someone like me?”

       “Shaw, please-!” she whimpered, voice trembling as it became ever harder to stay quiet.

       “Answer me, love. How many times have you thought of me taking you like this, fucking you on my fingers?”

       “I...mm...I don’t know!”

       “Do you want my cock? Want me to make you come apart on my dick?”

       “Yes! God, yes!” Her hand dropped away from her mouth in favor of joining the other already tangled in his hair, forcing him to look up at her as she pleaded, “Please, Shaw! Please, please fuck me!”

       Surging up, he captured her lips in a heady kiss, passionate and needing but not without a surprising edge of tenderness. Thus far, his affections had been wild, frantic, almost as if he was afraid she would change her mind and push him away. Now, MC realized how wanted she felt, heart warm in her chest.

       She peeked down curiously as she felt him shuffle against her, a shiver of excitement traveling down her spine as she heard the jingle of his belt being undone. It was hard to see in the dark and with his mouth still hungrily devouring hers, but she felt the weight of his erection spring up against her hip, another wave of arousal soaking her folds as her lover moaned at the friction and ground against her.

       They broke away from the kiss panting, a string of saliva connecting swollen lips, and she watched through half-lidded eyes as he slipped a condom out of his pocket. He wasted no time in tearing the package open and rolling the rubber over his straining length, ignoring her wide, questioning gaze as he straightened and hoisted her leg over his hip. She squeaked at the feeling of his cock sliding through her wet folds, hot and hard as the tip caught on her neglected clit. The pleasure it sent through her was intense, nearly sending her into a mini-climax as she whined and clawed at him.

       “Are you ready?” he murmured, mouthing at the marks he’d left on her neck to distract her from the press of the engorged head at her entrance. 

       Swallowing, she nodded. “Yes.”

       She felt him take a deep breath and a heartbeat later she gasped as the head of his cock burrowed inside of her, her body tensing at size of the intrusion, so much bigger than his fingers. Shaw groaned into the crook of her neck, fingers digging into her hips to resist the urge to simply hilt himself roughly inside of her. “You have to relax, baby girl.”

       “Trying-!” she squeaked, burying her face deeper into his shoulder. 

       “Look at me, love,” he murmured into her ear after a second. Tilting her head back against the tree trunk, she felt her heart stutter at the raw look in his eyes, more love and wild protectiveness there than she had ever thought possible for him. “I’m going to imprint myself inside of you,” he promised, tone too sweet for the filth of his words. “Going to drill into this tight little pussy until no other man can ever satisfy you.”

       His lips fell upon hers, swallowing her pained whimper as he finally pushed passed her maidenhead and forced his way deeper into her tight heat until he had bottomed out. Shaw kissed away the few tears that escaped her tightly shut eyes, staying perfectly still despite the raging urge in his lower gut to fuck her raw until she was ruined for all other men.

       The pain of having her hymen broken and the stretch of his impressive girth inside her created a throbbing burn deep in her stomach, nearly enough to make her push him away, but she endured it in favor of the underlying pleasure she could sense beneath the discomfort, a bubble rapidly expanding as her body accepted him.

       “So fucking tight,” he hissed, panting. “I’m going to lose control sooner than you’re ready for if you keep squeezing me like that.”

       “Please…!” The leg over his hip pulled him closer, her hands clutching him tighter. The pain had all but disappeared now, leaving sheer need for him in its place. “Please, move!”

       Shaw didn’t need any further encouragement, nor did he start out slow. Pulling back until only the tip was left inside of her, he slammed back in hard, drawing a scream from her as electric pleasure raced throughout her body, suffusing each cell. Her hips moved to meet his thrusts, trying to reciprocate, but he shoved her back against the tree, leaving her helpless to do much more than writhe against him as he continued to pound into her.

       The grunts and growls that fell from his lips warmed her skin as he panted into her neck, making her weak and threatening to send her crumpling between him and the tree trunk. Before she could though, his hand wrapped around her other thigh, hoisting both legs around his waist now. His thrusts intensified, turning feral as her fingers clawed at him through the thick fabric of his jacket and he hit deeper, dragging against her walls with each ferocious drive into her dripping core. 

       His lips captured hers in a messy kiss, swallowing her mewls and cries as he pressed closer, working his cock even deeper inside of her. “Don’t go,” he panted, moving to kiss her again. That uncharacteristic vulnerability was back, making his voice raw, hoarse, and it gave her pause in the throes of her pleasure, shaky fingers moving to brush his cheeks. “You can’t go.”

       She opened her mouth to respond, but a hard grind to her clit left her incoherent, unable to form the words to reply on her tongue. Her mind was beginning to fuzz over, turning white at the edges.

       “Promise!” he cried, demanding and pleading all at once as his grip on her tightened. “Promise you won’t go!”

       “I-I promise! Ahh!! Oh god, Shaw! I’m-!” She screamed his name as her orgasm washed over her, enveloping her in mind-numbing pleasure as she spasmed around his plunging cock. The intensity had her scrabbling her purchase, legs wrapping tighter around him for some kind of stability. 

       He wasn’t far behind. With a few more frantic thrusts into her, Shaw groaned, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple as his body shuddered and he released into the condom. Still entwined, they sank to the ground together, mixed up in each other’s climax and unable to let go even if they wanted to.

       MC didn’t know what to say now, how to put the feeling of how full her heart felt into words. So instead she took to caressing the porcelain skin of his face in her hands, kissing his closed eyes, the corners of his lips. She was surprised when the stroke of her thumbs across his cheek bones came away damp.

       Heartbeats passed and he pulled back, flaccid cock slipping out of her. She stared at him as he shuffled, disposing of the condom and tucking himself back into his pants. What happened now? 

       “Come on,” he grunted, offering her a hand up on shaky legs. He pulled her along a few steps, stumbling after him, before kneeling and grabbing her by the backs of her knees, pulling her onto his back.

       “Where are we going?” she whispered, afraid to break this sense of intimacy that remained even despite the growing awkwardness of the situation. 

       “I’m taking you back to my place so we can do it again,” he said, turning to look at her from the corner of one amber eye. “You deserved better than to have had your virginity taken in the middle of the woods.”

       Biting back the idiotical wide grin that threatened to take over her face, MC buried her face against his shoulder and nodded. Maybe all the decisions she’d made concerning him weren’t so stupid after all because she knew that she would move heaven and earth for this boy, no matter what came between them.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- On the Great Journey

Another faction intro, this time from Halo.  It should probably be noted that, obviously, I do not own Halo.

A note on timelines: This takes place in 2552, in between Halo 1 and 2.  This is after the destruction of Instillation 04, and before Regret’s invasion of Earth.  

Halo Galaxy

Earth, Capital World of the UNSC

The room was much like any typical human conference room throughout almost any galaxy.  Plain.  Utilitarian.  Very, very grey.  The table, too, was a sleek grey, matching the walls, and the chairs strung around it were typical of almost any high-class office building.  Black, comfortable enough, and with wheels.  Many an alien had and still has noted with some amusement the human fascination for chairs with wheels on them.  Even the most hardened of generals and politicians always seemed to choose them over regular chairs.  Most curious.  But none of the aliens of this galaxy had ever noticed the subtleties of humanity.  No.  Here, there was only war between humanity and the theocratic alien empire known simply as the Covenant.  This war was the reason for the meeting in this seemingly plain conference room.

Master Chief John-117 sat silently in a chair suitably enlarged for his massive frame.  If one were not aware that there was a man beneath his heavy green armor, they might have mistaken him for a statue.  He had been sitting like this, back perfectly straight, for exactly one hour, one minute, and forty one… forty two seconds now.  He had arrived first to the meeting, as a good soldier should.  The rest of the participants trickled in between then and half an hour ago.  

He was currently playing a game in his head, one that he had come up with a long time ago.  The nature of this game was simple: who is everyone at the meeting?  What, or whom, do they represent?  What do they want?  For despite the fact that Master Chief had not moved in one hour, two minutes, and ten seconds, his mind was always alert.  Always searching for threats.  

The man at the head of the table was the easiest to know.  An old face, wrinkled but still incredibly sharp, coupled with a crisp, white dress uniform and rows upon rows of medals made him a soldier.  If one was more familiar with the current state of the UEG and UNSC, one would also instantly put a name with the face.  Fleet Admiral Lord Terrance Hood, chief of naval operations and the de facto leader of the war effort, and thus humanity as a whole.  John liked Lord Hood.  Helpful.  Practical.  A soldier through and through.  

The next was another old face, wearing the white uniform of an admiral.  However, this woman did not have the reassuring eyes of Lord Hood.  These eyes were old, cold, hard, and incredibly calculating.  While Hood might have been in charge, Admiral Margaret Parangosky was probably the most dangerous person in the room.  She was the head of ONI, the Office of Naval Intelligence.  Master manipulator, master spy.  She probably had enough information to destroy anyone else in the room.  Cold, calculating, and ruthless, she was nevertheless a curt and professional leader.  

The next, and the last one the Chief recognized, was another older woman.  Greying hair framed a wrinkled face and pure blue eyes, still glowing with intelligence.  Doctor Catherine Halsey, creator of the Spartan-II’s.  Creator of Cortana.  Scientist extraordinaire.  The only thing even close to a mother figure he ever had.  Yes, she was the one who kidnapped him from an unknown family and turned him into a living weapon… but she was still a mother figure, in a way.  Master Chief suspected he had Stockholm syndrome.  It didn’t really concern him.  It was just one more problem on a list of many.  Anxiety, depression, sociopathy, paranoia, violent PTSD.  He had it all.  He ignored it.  The only thing that mattered was the mission.  

All of the other members of the meeting could fit into three groups: the soldiers, the politicians, and the spies.  

The soldiers were the easiest to understand.  Either Army or Navy, they were no nonsense (for the most part) and practical.  Soldiers.  People he understood.  They had a duty, and they did it.  

Spies were, as they probably should be, the hardest to understand.  They were all from ONI, and were, by far, the least trustworthy in the room.  Hated and feared, they were the ones who oversaw much of the UNSC’s secret projects.  It was their agents who had kidnapped him as a baby for the Spartan program.  Lord Hood didn’t trust them.  Dr. Halsey didn’t trust them.  Master Chief didn’t trust them either.  Too concerned with power plays and secrets.  It was in their nature to be untrustworthy, just as it was in Master Chief’s nature to be blunt.  

The third group were the politicians.  While they might normally be the most problem faction, these were extraordinary times.  The United Earth Governments had no power.  The United Nations Space Command had taken full control under material law to repel the Covenant.  The politicians technically had no say-so, but they were still kept in the loop so as not to cause any problems.  No one wanted a rogue politician talking too much, and here Admirals Hood and Parangosky could keep an eye on them.  

None except Hood, several of the diplomats, and Parangosky were actually required.  Most, from Dr. Hasley, to the ONI spies, to the politicians were here either as precautions, in case something came up that would require their expertise, or so that they wouldn’t cause any problems.  Hood and Parangosky were crafty enough to realize that snubbing people was probably not the best idea for fostering a united war effort.  

“And now, Master Chief John-117, please present your finds,” asked Parangosky.  Oh, shit.  This was the part he had been dreading.  He absolutely despised talking to people, but this time he really didn’t have a choice.  

“Yes, ma’am.”  His gravelly voice rang clearly through the room as everyone went silent.  “I met with the group you told me to.  Their dossiers are in my report.  They seem nice enough.”  He wasn’t quite sure if he was doing this right.  He didn’t have much practice talking to other humans.  Parangosky looked at him with an annoyed expression, but Hood held up a hand to forestall any comments.  

“I know you don’t particularly like to do this, Chief.  However, we need to know where everyone in these new galaxies stand.”  The politicians and various lower ranked officers gave sycophantic nods.  

“Yes, sir.”  A holoprojector sprang to life, displaying the various symbols of different inter-galactic powers.  “Most are either peaceful inter-species coalitions or human-supremacist empires.  From what Cortana has told me, the more human-supremacist and militaristic, the more likely they are to stand with us.”  The table broke out with murmuring.  

“Now what?” asked one of the Admirals.  “Who exactly is going to help us?  Can we actually trust them?”  

“The people I’ve seen are trustworthy,” responded the Chief.  If slightly bizarre, and, on several instances, slightly insane.  “Whether or not we can trust their governments is another problem.”  Thankfully, not my problem.  

“What about their weapons?” questioned an ONI agent.  

“Everything I’ve learned about their weapons is in my report.”  Honestly, what was the point of writing reports if no one was going to read them?

“Can we get any of these weapons?” pressed the agent.  Why are ONI agents so annoying?

“While the individuals I’ve met want to keep their own weapons, at least one is willing to sell them,” replied the Chief gruffly.  He hadn’t, and wouldn’t, tell them about Drake’s gift.  They would want to get their hands all over it, disassemble it, and he’d never get it back.  It was put to much better use in his hands.  At least it was in his opinion.  Although, Drake would probably be perfectly willing to sell anything from laser weapons to WMDs if the price was right.  The ONI agent began whining again.

“All the “militaristic” powers are fighting other things!  All the peaceful ones wouldn’t want to get involved in the Covenant War, and all the other ones would probably want to screw us over.”  Like you wouldn’t do the same thing if you were in their place, Master Chief wanted to say.  Bloody ONI.  

The Chief looked appealingly over to Hood, the question evident in his eyes.  Hood gave Master Chief a nod.

“Thank you, Chief.  You can sit down now,” he said.  Thank God.  John slumped into his seat.  He would much rather take on entire platoons of Covenant soldiers instead of doing even the most miniscule of talking, especially to these types of people.  Oh, well.  Sometimes being the greatest soldier in history had its drawbacks.  

High Charity

Capital and Holy City of the Covenant

High Charity was an utterly massive, near planetoid-sized space station, and the floating capital of the alien empire known as the Covenant.  Hundreds of kilometers in diameter, and home to billions of individuals, it was the Covenant’s religious center and practical homeworld.  High Charity was larger than moons, and more impressive than most planets, including most of those ruled by the UNSC.  It was here that, just like many a government, the leaders of the Covenant sat to discuss the current situation.  

The room itself was rectangular, and looked largely like some gladiator pit made of stainless steel.  In the “stands” were the members of the High Council, the legislative body of the Covenant.  Made up of only Sangheli and San’Shyuum, the two most respected species of the Covenant, it was their job to pass laws and rule the empire as a whole.  Lower down, at the edge of the “pit”, was an elevated dias, on which were three chairs.  The true rulers of the Covenant, the Hierarchs, sat here, in magnificent gravity thrones.  They were the High Prophets of Truth, Mercy, and Regret.  The religious leaders, and, due to its nature as a theocratic empire, the political leaders of the Covenant, it was their duty to guide the various races along the Great Journey.  Now, it was their duty to guide the Covenant into these new galaxies, to the ultimate goal of ascendance.  At the present moment, it was all they could do to keep the Council in order.

“What of the trial of Thel ‘Vadam?” shouted members from the stands.  The entire room was in an uproar, yelling at each other, yelling at the Prophets, yelling at the guards, yelling at anyone that would listen.  In fact, several of them were yelling just to yell, certain that no one really cared, but determined to add their weight to the conversation.  If, of course, the orgy of disorder could actually be called a conversation.  

“Yes!  What of the trial?” cried another.  

“Nay!  The trial is of limited importance now!  What of these new places?  What happens there?  We must know!”

“Indeed!  This is a pressing concern!  We must discuss this new development!  The trial can wait!” shouted someone else.

“No!  The trial is of immediate importance!  It must happen now!” called another Council member.

“What of the humans?  How are they affected by this?  Does the Covenant exist in these new galaxies?  Does humanity?  Do the Forerunners?”

“Enough!  There will be order in these chambers!” the shrill and somewhat warbling voice of the Prophet of Mercy called from his gravity throne.  

“Indeed!  I am ashamed of this behavior!” added the Prophet of Truth.  The voices died down to barely audibly muttering, then vanished completely as the Prophets looked around the room.  

“Good.  Now, on to the business of this session.  The High Council has convened for a special session.  While originally supposed to be for the trial of Thel ‘Vadam, it now takes a new purpose: we must discuss these new places and what exactly they mean for our future,” said Truth.  The Prophets of Mercy and Regret nodded along with him.  The voices swelled once again, murmuring, then threatening to break out in a crescendo of noise.  

“Order!” yelled Regret over the din.  The babble died down once more.  Despite the Prophets being San'Shyuum, a species that looked largely like bipedal worms with oversized craniums and were about as physically threatening as the description suggests, they were the religious leaders of the Covenant, and so their word was law.  Though the Council could technically oppose them, it rarely did so.  Those who called for the trial to take place immediately were gradually silenced, and the chamber came to order.  

“As it should be,” muttered Mercy crossly.

“Now, on to business.”  The ‘again’ in that sentence remained unsaid.  “Due to still unknown reasons, several other galaxies have appeared beyond the borders of ours.  We know not what they are.  We know not what they want.”  The Council started to murmur again.  

“Therefore, to make certain no one interferes, it is our duty to start down the Great Journey as soon as possible.  Thel ‘Vadam and his fleet, while unable to prevent its destruction, found one of the Sacred Rings.  It is but a short time when we find another.”

“Yes, indeed,” said Regret.  “We have located a Sacred Icon, needed for the firing of the Rings, on a human world.”  The Council broke out in shouting once more.

“We must retrieve it immediately!”

“Yes!  The Heretics have no right to hold such an artifact!”  

“Silence!” roared Truth once more.  He looked around at the assemblage, then continued.  “We shall retrieve this Icon as soon as possible.  The trial of Thel ‘Vadam shall happen, a fleet shall be prepared, the icon retrieved, and the Rings fired.”  The murmurings became positive.  

“Good.  Onwards, on the Great Journey, for the glory of the Covenant!”

And there we are.  As always, if you have any comments, questions, concerns, criticisms, or requests, feel free to ask!

[sheliesshattered]

Just did my first try-on of the Regency short stays/corset I’ve been working on for more than a month and THEY FIT! Hallelujah. I would have been moderately crushed if I’d put in that much time and effort only to have the fit be way off. 

The Laughing Moon Mercantile pattern (LMM 115) is well-done and rather magical -- it has you choose pattern pieces based entirely on your measurements, and even with my 12″ difference between full bust and underbust, the pattern had no trouble accommodating me. I don’t have it in front of me, but I think the pattern includes bust gussets up to a 16″ or 18″ difference between full bust and underbust, and they’re so uniformly shaped that if you did have a bigger difference than that, you could easily extrapolate how big to make the gussets. I was also a bit worried that the back was going to be too small and result in a huge lacing gap, but once again the cut-to-your-own-measurements method works fantastically.

(More detailed thoughts and notes-to-self below the cut.)

This first try-on was mostly to make sure that it fit at all, and to decide where I want to put the eyelets in the front to attach the straps. Technically those two eyelets are the last step I need to do to finish this, and I’ll do that tomorrow when I have more light and rested eyes. But there are a few other small issues I want to futz with, too. One of the side-front bones keeps trying to turn on its side in its channel, so I want to do a little embroidery to help it stay flat and snug, and now that I know that I don’t need to adjust the bust fit, I want to do the flossing the pattern recommends at the bottom point of each gusset.

But the real issue I need to fix is the boning at center front. I was trying to get away with not using a wooden busk there, so this corset could be comfortable for around the house, every day wear, but the boning replacement I used (heavy zip/duct ties) is bending forward quite a lot at the top edge of center front, just from the weight of my bust, to the point that it’s sticking out basically horizontal and is noticeable under clothing. I’ve got two duct ties there, and while they can keep the fabric taut, there’s no hope of getting them to stand up straight and flat.

My plan is to make a bodiced petticoat next, and that might help a little with the issue of the end of the boning showing through clothing, but my gut feeling is that I’m going to have to do something a little more extreme to fix it. I might be able to shorten the two zip ties there by about an inch each, just have them end before the top edge of the corset, but I’m fairly certain that’ll result in slightly more mono-boob than is technically correct for the Regency silhouette. OTOH, the extreme bust separation popular in the Regency looks a bit odd to us now, so maybe for every day wear, I’m okay with that?

I could also bite the bullet and just go with an actual wooden busk, but I feel like I will regret that just in terms of comfort. I’m fine with the corset pushing me into slightly better posture, but I do want to be able to wear it while relaxing on the couch with my laptop, ya know? Hmm. If I did put in a wooden busk, it would need to be removable for washing anyway, so maybe I could add a busk pocket on the inside, slide a busk in when I want the support and/or proper Regency lift-and-separate, but also have the option to wear the corset without the busk.

Actually, combining those two solutions might be the best way to go -- shorten the zip tie boning so it ends ~1″ from the top edge for casual wear, and put in a busk pocket that runs the full length, for use when I want. I think between the drawstring at the top edge, the bodice of the petticoat, and the lacing on the inner layer of the drop-front gown I’m going to make next, I should have plenty of support for wearing around the house, but having the option to pop a busk in there too will be nice.

Despite how much work I’ve put into this, it was really just meant to be a wearable fitting mock-up, which is why I made it with coutil and didn’t take the time to do any cording. Now that I know the pattern fits, I may in fact want to make more in this same size, and probably a full-length corset if/when I actually have Regency-themed events to go to, rather than just historybounding around the house. For a full-length corset intended for events, I would absolutely go with a wooden busk, and I would probably take the time to do all-over cording, too. Though I do think this boning issue means that I can’t really do a front-lacing variation at all, or at least not at center front. Hmm, I will have to think on that one.

So that means my to-do list to actually finish the corset is: 

Add two hand-bound eyelets at the top edge, just outside the bust gussets, for the straps to tie into. Cut cotton ribbon to tie those together, and turn under the edges to keep from fraying.

Open up the edge binding at center front, pull out the two pieces of duct tie boning, and shorten each by ~1″. Add a new line of stitching 1″ down from the top to keep the boning from creeping up, and sew the edge binding back down.

Source a wooden busk (I do have some unused paint sticks lying around, hmm) and sew an internal busk pocket at center front.

Floss the points of each bust gusset, to help reinforce them.

Add some embroidery to the diagonal boning channels on the side-front to keep the boning from trying to rotate onto its edge.

Possibly shorten the lacing cord and sew a loop at the top (to replace the stand-in knot situation going on there now), but I’m going to put that off until I’ve gotten a little better at lacing myself in, so I know how long of a (spiral) lacing cord I actually need. Right now it’s super long so that I can lace it up loosely and pull it over my head, but we’ll see if that method sticks.

I think that’s it? I’m sure I’ll do a few more try-ons as I check things off that list, so it’s possible more little tasks will occur to me as I do. But once that’s all done, it’ll be on to the petticoat, and then finally a dress! As always my brain is a good half dozen projects ahead of where my hands are, but eh it’s good to have plans.

[virmillion]

Masterpost

of all of my sanders sides fics (under a cut because there is. Quite A Few More than i thought)

Chaptered

As Above, So Below - AO3 - 35,700 words

Warnings: cursing, blood, knives, fighting, OCD

Ships: platonic moxiety, platonic logince, platonic LAMP

Summary: Roman is a prince and Logan is his advisor-not-quite-friend. Virgil is a street rat runaway and Patton is his friend-not-quite-advisor. Unfortunately for Virgil, staying out of the castle is going to be his biggest struggle.

Arbitrary (choose your own ending) - AO3 - 4,007

Warnings: none

Ships: platonic LAMP

Summary: It’s Patton’s birthday! Who’s ready for a birthday party surprise? ...Guys?

Some Kind of Magical - AO3 - 45,113

Warnings: fighting, fire and burns, blood, deceit as a character

Ships: platonic LAMP

Summary: Senior year can kind of suck. A lot. Toss in some deadly oversized creatures and a final project that literally determines the rest of your life, and some problems are bound to get tangled up in there somewhere. Just keep your head down, finish your project, and everything should be just fine. Right?

I’ll Bring You the Moon - AO3 - 94,659

Warnings: Major character death, cursing, arguments, unhappy ending

Ships: romantic analogical, platonic LAMP

Summary: Logan has had his life planned out since, well, forever. Get through college, get an internship at NASA, rise through the ranks, get into space, something, something, happy ending and he’s set for life. The first couple steps were easy, out of the way in a snap. Meeting Virgil, however, kind of threw a wrench into those plans. But it’s fine. Logan can navigate a job at NASA, flirt with a cute museum tour guide, and deal with everyone’s inexplicable hatred of Neptune at the same time. It shouldn’t be too hard—after all, it’s not like it’s rocket science. ...Well, okay, so it is kind of like rocket science.

Abandoned Chaptered

Can’t Fake What I’ve Never Felt - AO3 - 3,826

Warnings: panic attack, sensory overload, cursing

Ships: platonic royality, background romantic prinxiety

Summary: “AU where everyone is emotionless until they meet their soulmate and upon meeting them they slowly gain one emotion at a time as the soulmate does something that triggers the emotion into existence” - me, oil on canvas in a discord chat, 2018

Kintsugi - AO3 - 3,021

Warnings: fire (a candle)

Ships: none

Summary: Virgil is just about fed up with this fancy little school, so he takes advantage of a quiet night outside. Difficulties ensue.

The Hypothetical Lower Bounds of the Glass - AO3 - 3,946

Warnings: food mention

Ships: platonic (or at least vaguely civil) analogical

Summary: Logan has multiple ways of working through frustrating emotions, on the rare occasion that they do arise. One such method is taking a long drive to an unplanned destination.

One-Shots

Taxi Cab - AO3 - 8,050

Warnings: none

Ships: platonic moxiety

Summary: Virgil needs a ride somewhere, anywhere, so of course, the nearest person with a car obliges

What Was Missing - AO3 - 3,983

Warnings: blood, major character death (kind of)

Ships: none

Summary: Something is missing in the mindscape. You don’t know what. Just... something.

Waves - AO3 - 4,241

Warnings: smoking cigarettes

Ships: platonic moxiety, royality, and logicality

Summary: People outgrow each other all the time. It’s perfectly normal. So why should Patton be so unhappy about it? He’s not technically a person, after all.

Bleeding Out - AO3 - 5,008

Warnings: blood and injury, intrusive thoughts, cursing, unhappy ending

Ships: platonic prinxiety

Summary: Roman takes Virgil on an adventure through the creative corner of the mindscape.

Purple - AO3 - 1,111

Warnings: really abstract writing

Ships: none

Summary: spiritual successor to Bleeding Out

Monster Under the Bed - AO3 - 1,207

Warnings: none

Ships: platonic Roman & Patton & Logan

Summary: When Roman is afraid of something, he goes to Patton, and Patton always knows just what to do.

Exoskeleton - AO3 - 3,850

Warnings: OCD, derealization, fighting (verbal and physical), food mention

Ships: platonic LAMP (mostly)

Summary: an honors zoology-inspired fic about Logan struggling to be A Person.

Lying From You - AO3 - 4,666

Warnings: blood, manipulation, deceit as a character (kind of)

Ships: none

Summary:  As the core of Thomas’ feelings, it had always been Patton’s responsibility to care for his emotional wellbeing. Whether this was done in the healthiest ways remained to be seen, but he was trying, and that’s what was important. Keep Thomas happy as best he could.

Colorful - AO3 - 2,371

Warnings: blood, swearing, character death, unhappy ending

Ships: platonic Virgil & Roman & Patton, romantic analogical, background romantic royality

Summary: you know the au where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate? yeah this is that but less happy

Detention - AO3 - 1,800

Warnings: light bullying

Ships: platonic moxiety

Summary: Virgil meets a kid named Patton in detention and decides to investigate further.

Come Back Home - AO3 - 3,540

Warnings: alcohol abuse (written poorly because I didn’t know how to write drunk people)

Ships: past romantic logince

Summary: Logan and Roman broke up and went their separate ways, coping as they could. So why are they both still thinking about the other?

Palindrome - AO3 - 6,006

Warnings: cheating in relationships, break ups

Ships: romantic prinxiety (for a minute), romantic royality (for two minutes), romantic moxiety (for three minutes), platonic analogical

Summary: Palindrome /ˈpalənˌdrōm/, n. - a word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same backward as forward

Just In Case - AO3 - 3,200

Warnings: (conceptual) major character deaths

Ships: none

Summary: A fail safe, for another term. Something to ensure that if the worst situation presented itself, they wouldn't be at a loss for how to function. Maybe Virgil ducking out the first time is what instigated it, but as problems continued to pop up, they came to realize that the absolute worst imaginable thing was well within the realm of possibility.

Bubble Tea - AO3 - 8,175

Warnings: none

Ships: romantic prinxiety, background romantic logicality, platonic royality, background platonic analogical

Summary: alternative title - i've never read nor written a coffee shop au, but here's some nonsense that's basically the same thing with a slightly different menu

And They Were Roommates - AO3 - 1,551

Warnings: some swears, sarcastic first person author

Ships: platonic logince

Summary: unedited nonsense that started out with having a point but eventually devolved into me lamenting my lack of inspiration and turning to spicy memes for comfort

Gone and Never Coming Back - AO3 - 4,453

Warnings: (Mentioned) major character death (it’s a plot point), nightmare describing a car crash, grief

Ships: platonic moxiety (sort of), platonic LAMP (sort of)

Summary: alternative title: patton learns how to cope with loss by being tossed directly into the deep end with three sets of ankle weights

The Sun Is Running Late - AO3 - 3,400

Warnings: death mention, implied suicide, the entire thing centers on the end of the world, first person POV (its roman)

Ships: (past) platonic LAMP

Summary: (to the tune of R.E.M.'s 1987 WENZ promo song that looped for twenty four hours) it's the end of the world as he knows it!

Creative Burnout - AO3 - 1,142

Warnings: major character not-quite-death, negative self talk

Ships: none

Summary: Roman is creativity, and he’s all out of ideas again.

Know Your Mark - AO3 - 2,514

Warnings: blood mention, stabbing, knife mention, negative self talk

Ships: none

Summary: Virgil has a target, so Virgil sets about to take them down. Should be perfectly simple, right? Right?

Of Royalty and Revelry - AO3 - 6,109

Warnings: blood mention, death mention, food mention, cursing

Ships: Romantic (one-sided?) Prinxiety, platonic Moxiety

Summary: Prince Roman fancies a newcomer, who isn’t too quick to speak up about their own opinion on the matter. Life lessons and begrudging companionships ensue.

Staying Up Late - AO3 - 3,292

Warnings: discussion of insomnia, nightmares, vague car crash (it’s a dream), spiraling thoughts

Ships: platonic analogical, maybe romantic if you squint

Summary: Virgil can’t fall asleep. Logan comes over to try to help. Everyone is tired.

Simulated Human Contact - AO3 - 1,195

Warnings: insomnia, medication mention

Ships: platonic analogical (romantic if you squint)

Summary: fluff and projecting onto analogical because i was incredibly tired

Coffee’s for Closers - AO3 - 22,222

Warnings: cursing, rude customers and coworkers

Ships: romantic analogical, romantic royality, platonic LAMP+Remy(Sleep)

Summary: Virgil is a barista. Logan is a barista. Everyone is gay—it’s just that this gayness only occurs at Logan’s cafe.

Love Is a Four Letter Word - AO3 - 12,758

Warnings: implied major character death, Less Than Happy backstories, some bullying, unhappy ending

Ships: platonic logince (more like acquaintances tbh)

Summary: Everyone has magic, and it’s really nothing special at all. Just another skill, sort of like a sixth sense. Roman is not particularly fond of his brand of magic, and sets off to find Thomas—the one person rumored to not have any magic at all.

[bipercabeth]

So, can we hear your thoughts on TS7? I remember your breakdown for the Ben Platt album and wanted to hear what you have to say about Lover

oh man, i already know this has to go under the cut. i have,,, so many feelings

i forgot that you existed - this song is such a good opener for the album. both the lyrics and production are so light and carefree, which makes it the perfect transition from the intensity of reputation to the softness of lover. she’s not reinventing herself, she’s growing. i love the way she plays with harmonies in the chorus! and i adore how the last line of the verses swells ominously before releasing into the playful staccato of the chorus, i think it’s really indicative of the anxiety surrounding the situation vs the simple and relative ease with which it was all forgotten

cruel summer - tbh i’m glad this wasn’t a single in the place of ME! or yntcd because listening to this was literally a full body experience. it would’ve killed as a lead single, but it definitely hit harder for me hearing for the first time in the context of the album. i read the lyrics of the first five songs when they leaked and genuinely thought i wasn’t going to like this song, but i went absolutely feral at the bridge. (also upon listening i adored the lyrics, so i will no longer be trusting my opinions based on lyrics alone.) if i wasn’t sold on the rest of it, the bridge is what solidified this as one of my favorites on the album. the way the synths build and then cut out for HE LOOKS UP GRINNIN LIKE A DEVIL,,, i lost my shit. astral projected. if this song is playing, i will not turn it off before i get to scream that line. also “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” is incredible. 

lover - words cannot describe my love for this song. my friend veronica described it as the love song of our generation and honestly? she’s not wrong. lover’s lyrics are simple, but hit like a ton of bricks regardless. the key to simple lyricism is finding the words that everyone has always wanted to say (lean on me is a really good example of this but i’m not going to get into songwriting theory on this post) and lover does exactly that. simple descriptions of simple acts are her window to how all-encompassing this love is. the 6/8 timing (a fucking WALTZ y’all) gives it the 2 in the morning kitchen dance feel. it’s a love song in every aspect. i’m never gonna be over it. 

the man - a bop. the low notes in this song? incredible, especially in the bridge. those low harmonies took me OUT! the first line of the chorus is so killer as well. and she says bitch twice! taylor said i am 29 i curse and have sex, get over it. there’s less to analyze in this song, but that doesn’t mean i’m not in love with it. 

the archer - i am telling you i heard the first goddamn synth note and KNEW jack antonoff was all over this song. i really needed this song to come out when it did, because after those two singles,, i needed some hope for this album. it did not disappoint. the slow build of the synths into one massive crescendo at the bridge instead of the usual rise and fall of most pop music. every single note builds to the bridge, to the anxiety of that repeated they see right through me, to the cause all of my enemies started out friends / help me hold on to you. it swells like the slow draw of a knocked arrow, like an archer taking aim. and then all at once, it fades like the string was released. i adore every single aspect of this song. 

i think he knows - my percabeth loving ass needs to take a second to talk about the line i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans and how it sent me to the fucking moon. but anyway. different post. it is physically impossible for me to stay still when this song plays. the harmonies on that AH in the chorus made me lose it. i want you, bless my soul is so southern and absolutely beautiful. she’s straight up pining in this song, and she knows it. that way she closes the song with that line on loop? sets the tone so well.

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - i have no idea why i didn’t like this song upon first listen, but now i like it! still not my favorite on the album, but the bar is high. 

paper rings - god i cannot believe that she said his friends were high at the met gala i’m fucking dead. this whole song is peak old taylor, just grown up. it’s got the same catchiness as stay stay stay, but with a more grown (but still fun) outlook. this one is real experience talking, and it shows. she’s got the love she always wanted to write about! i’m not okay! 

cornelia street - her delivery really makes the song for me. you can physically feel how much she loves joe and how real that fear of losing him. that stripped down chorus after the bridge where her voice breaks? she’s so in love. i’m so in love. 

death by a thousand cuts - GOD i love this song with everything in me, even more since watching Someone Great. it’s the perfect narrative song for that movie. it also contains the single most Taylor Swift^tm lyric of all time: but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages? ALSO? WE WANNA TALK ABOUT BRIDGE CITY?? this bridge goes so hard. i can’t convey my love for it unless we’re in the car together so i can scream it properly. ultimate car song. 

london boy - so fun! people who are upset over this song gotta calm down, it’s a fun, catchy song. i don’t have much to say about it, but i enjoy it! i won’t go out of my way to queue it, but it’s cute and cheeky and i like it.

soon you’ll get better - i knew from the first goddamn guitar lick that this was going to wreck me, but once i realized what it was about,,, i didn’t stand a chance. i literally went back after my first listen through the whole album and listened to this song on loop for at least half an hour and just. sobbed. it hits home way too hard for me. again with that devastatingly simple songwriting. you’ll get better soon / cause you have to absolutely destroyed me. also, this is a really small detail, but that breath at 2:41 really does me in. it’s so defeated, i can’t. her delivery in this one is an absolute gut punch.

false god - jack antonoff is all over this one and i love it for that. taylor swift said i fuck and i respect that. the sax? get out of here. it’s so perfect. it’s horny, but like,,, emotionally horny. perfect fit for this album. i adore it.

you need to calm down - okay ngl i don’t like this song or ME!, but i’m really glad they were singles because if i heard them on this album for the first time i would’ve been :/ about it. instead we got that right out of the way and now i can appreciate the good parts of them. the oh’s in the chorus are really pretty! i don’t actively dislike this song, but i don’t actively like it either. 

afterglow - i love that taylor put a song about fighting on this album. i think this made the album feel so much more real. it’s about love, and fighting is a part of that! we break a little from the picture perfect aspect of songs like paper rings and get a little grittier. people make mistakes, but the love guides the choice to stay, to ask for forgiveness and promise to do better. this makes the entire narrative of lover so much stronger.

ME! - same sentiment as yntcd in terms of it being the lead single, except i’m really not a fan of this song. i can handle it up until the spelling is fun part. i cannot believe “can’t spell awesome without me” is so close to daylight. i appreciate the point of the song and what she sets out to do with it, but i just. can’t get over that damn bridge. 

it’s nice to have a friend - i really didn’t like this song at first and i’m still warming up to it, but i definitely am! it’s such a percabeth song. i’m not sure why i didn’t like it, probably because it doesn’t escalate or go anywhere, but i think that steadiness contributes to the meaning of it

daylight - i could literally write an entire essay on this song alone. it’s the perfect closing song for this album. i don’t want to see anything else now that i saw you / i don’t want to think of anything else now that i’ve thought of you are literally the most tender lines i have heard in my whole life. the comparison between this and her notes from red make me openly weep. the bridge of this song literally feels light daylight, it shines and feels warm and god i love love! i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden made me cry when i heard it. i can’t stop thinking about that quote that says “lover is the sound of a songwriter getting to write the album she’s always wanted to write”. i could literally cry just thinking about that. she got to write the album about golden love! her whole career is based around singing and writing about love, and now she has exactly what she’s been grasping at all this time. it’s downright poetic. the monologue/outro only did me in more. she’s spent so long being defined by other people, and here she makes that definition for herself on an album that she owns every part of. it’s perfect. 

[violetbeachpod]

1x02 / incorporeal girlfriend

CHARLOTTE:

Hello Violet Beach! Charlotte Cranor-Liu here to keep informing the general public–or, the not-general not-public–about how terrible everything is!

So! Let’s talk.

I’m Char, I’m sixteen, junior at the Corielli Academy For Creative Youths, and your new best friend. Unless, like, we’ve already met, in which case, you already know what I think of you.

So. Where to start? Cuz I got stories. Uh. At fight call today, I hit Andrew Meyer for real, which was pretty satisfying. Cuz he’s the worst? AJ high-fived me afterward, and actually told me where he worked? Which was super satisfying, cuz I got kicked out of the Starbucks for fighting in the alley by it? In fairness, the guy stole tips, it was–it was morally an obligation. But the assistant manager was like, “oh, but now he’ll sue us, and why did you claim to be an employee,” which, like, has she never heard of getting into character to add more feeling to a situation? He would be more likely to give it back if he thought he was stealing my money? Just—whatever. I needed a new coffee-source and now I have one.

But, anyway, AJ took me to the Bean Zone today, which, cool, I didn’t know they were even open. Neither did anyone else, though, I don’t think because it was empty. Which might also be because their coffee is kind of the worst? Still.

I kept AJ busy, though. He used his employee discount, so, I only paid, like, ten bucks total for my thirteen drinks. So. After I was properly caffeinated and his two-hour shift ended, which, I didn’t even know they did those, we started biking to his place, and he–he fell. And I got nervous, and I grabbed his arm to help him up once I was sure he was okay, and when I made contact, the–

Well, Teresa talked about this last time, but the sky went that gross purple color. And I assumed tehat–I assumed that the glow was because of us touching, so I let go, and then–I couldn’t.

And then the breeze that’s always there happened again. And we were back on the road, on our bikes, and we were pedalling. Like nothing happened.

And he said, like, uh, “Nice grip,” or something, and I nodded, because my grip’s pretty nice, and we were just, in, like, a really weirdass situation, so.

Anywho. So we went back to my place and my sister was all like, oh, wow, who’s this, your–censored rude term that disrespects AJ, who is, like, maybe my only friend–and so I yelled at her?

I mean. He’s not my only friend. I–he is.

Why can’t I say that I have other friends? Like–I’m trying to lie, right now.

Um. Okay. Cool. So.

We’ll get to that later.

But, anyway, I did scream at her, yes. Cuz she was an ass. As per ush.

So. Anyway. AJ and I went up to my room and started watching a bootleg of—y’know? If this, like, truth serum thing going on’s a thing, I’m not gonna try to name the show. Cuz it’s embarrassing. I wanted to—no. Okay.

Can’t lie! That’s—

Ugh! That’s so stupid!

Um. What else? I think I saw a ghost during photography today, but that’s just how the woods are sometimes. AJ and I broke into some asshole’s beach house back there for this week’s project, because last year the guy who owns it was a creep to me. But I think that maybe his house is haunted? Cuz there was this, like, weird mist in the living room right by the TV.

But again, that’s just how the woods are. I think. That’s not really my zone. But, of all places in this town to already be haunted? That’s, like, top thirteen spots, natch.

Also: Gregory And Janet Wilson Who Live In The Beach House Development In The Woods From May To September Every Year But Who Live In Virginia Otherwise left three spare keys under the lion statuette in their uglyass overgrown garden. So, there. Make of that what you will.

But. It’s a supernatural occurrence, or whatever you wanna call it, so I should put it on here. The ghost sighting. Not his key location. That’s–that’s just a thing that I know. Obvi.

The mist was, like–it was kind of all-consuming? Like, in that way that people are always all-consumed by beauty, but not really, because I was also having heart palpitations. Or something. Not really sure what heart palpitations are, but, uh. I was overwhelmed by the beauty but also? Very, very afraid of it. I felt like I was frozen in place, like I was being swallowed by it–

And then AJ said, “Are you okay?” and I snapped out of it. I asked him if he saw it, and he nodded, was like, “uh yeah, but, like, we could agree before entering that the woods are super haunted,” and I agreed, but, like, he didn’t seem to get the vibes that I did. Swear to god, I heard horror movie music behind me.

Uh. The Corielli board is meeting tonight, and I’m supposed to talk about the theater program, just–I don’t like talking in front of the PTA, because I don’t know any of their kids, like, logically, I should know their kids. There are maybe 200 people in the high school, and I know most of them. I know all of their faces.

But the Corielli board’s faces don’t look like anybody. Like, literally. I’ve talked at Corielli board meetings, like, seven times, and I cannot tell you what a single parent looks like.

Which might be supernatural happenings also? Nice.

[faux-excited]

Mystery! Intrigue! Cool!

[a pause, a sigh]

At least this truth-curse-or-whatever-the-hell-it-is has room for jokes. That’s, like, legitimately cool.

Um. So, I have to talk to the board tonight, and I think that’ll be—that—shit. Shit, it’s in ten minutes.

I’ll record more later.

[static, and a click. CHARLOTTE is out of breath.]

Okay, I’m back. I’m—holy shit.

So, I think the truth curse is off, but—like, obvi, I’m not gonna—I can promise that I’m not exaggerating.

So, the board. The board.

So, I think I said that they might be paranormal activity? They super are. I’m usually late, when I go to meetings? But I was on-time, and, uh, I was supposed to stay in the auditorium, but I went backstage to check on the set, but. Whatever. I was backstage. And so were they.

The board, I mean.

And they were—they were silent, in a circle, staring at each other. All of them. No one said anything, for a minute—like, I started timing a few seconds in, and it was at least seventy-seven seconds.

And one of them looked up, and just—feedback and sirens came pouring out of his mouth, like during an emergency when you’re watching TV or—

And he looked at me, blinked, and said, “Miss Cranor-Liu, you made it!” and he pushed through the circle, and nobody moved, just—and he grabbed my shoulders, and I wanted to—I wanted to hit him, to—

He just said, “The meeting’s cancelled, dear, didn’t you hear?”

I tried to take in his face, just cuz, and—nothing stood out to me.

And I tried to pull away, to hit him, to—to, like, kick him in his balls, or whatever, and my body just—it froze. And then there was that stupid purple again, and—

And I was outside. And I checked my email, and I didn’t get a cancellation notice, so—uh.

Something’s happening at Corielli. And, uh, I think—four or five of us went to Corielli, like, Teresa and Elaine def didn’t, and Benji, like—I’ve seen him on campus before, like, when I was in middle school, but also, I’m pretty sure he’s omnipresent, so. Who knows, with him. But the majority of us involved went to Corielli, so—like. That’s relevant, I think? Put it on your conspiracy board, next to the seven photos of Avril Lavigne and her dopplegangers. Use green yarn, for, like—for my sake. S’a good color for conspiracy theory boards that you never see anywhere.

I watch a lot of conspiracy theory videos, just to—to laugh at that. Also, they’re so consistent to me? So they’re very relaxing. Good to fall asleep to. Like, some folks need white noise or ASMR or whatever, but a good ol’ Andy Kaufman death hoax ten hour loop, y’know? Or, like, a Sondheim is multiple people one. It exists. You have to look hard for it, but, like, it almost convinced me that there are eighteen of him, so it’s worth it. I watched a seven-part documentary on the moon-landing thing when I was a kid, and that thing just, like—it got me so interested. I’m not crazy or anything. But this is ringing major documentary alarm bells. Maybe I can hit up some clickbait site and they can send folks over here to wrap a nice bow on this whole weird situation.

[beat]

Nobody’s gonna listen to this, like—and AJ’s the only person who’ll care, so, like, might as well talk on here.

Mae Babson the new transfer student is hot as hell. Like—I try not to have crushes, because they’re dumb, and they keep my eyes off the prize, which is to say, y’know. College. My art.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that feelings are pointless and that we’d be way better off without them, y’know? Especially when those feelings are for really dreamy girls who manage to look, like, at least 70 percent like she’s into girls, even though this is Corielli, so, like, she could be the straightest girl on earth, and also she’s weirdly nice, like—nicer than most people. And it’s kind of annoying how nice she is, like, she—she’s nice to everybody. Even to people who don’t deserve it.

But. Anyways. She’s super hot and I’m kinda sorta in love with her. Whatever. Rant over. I’ll edit that out.

So. Ghosts and mystery and intrigue. Woo.

Y’know, maybe Mae’s caught up in this mystery, actually, cuz—well, she only showed up after all that happened. Maybe she’s, like—maybe she’s a ghost. That’s the nightmare, honestly, being in love with a ghost. Like, second only to her being straight? Worst case scenario.

I could write a solid one act about being in love with a ghost and, like, protag comes to accept that she’s dead and is willing to make this work, but ghost girl’s like, “Oh, too bad, don’t like girls. Sorry, honey!” And that’s the plot twist. Sad ending. A tragicomedy for everyone.

But. Incorporeal Girlfriend and playwriting dreams aside, it is weird that she showed up, cuz—we never get new juniors, especially not midyear? So. It’s not entirely out there that she’s involved. Put her pic up next to the X-Files poster, connect ‘em with red yarn. For love symbolism.

Also, she’s like, otherworldly-ly attractive, so. That contributes to Benji’s alien theory. Also, Benji? I don’t care about your alien theory. Or that you wrote your thesis on aliens. Or that you—

Ugh. Just. The email thread is very long and you aren’t Agent David Duchovny On The X-Files I Don’t Know The Character Name But Oh Boy Do I Know Who David Duchovny Is. Also, use the goddamn group chat? Some of us don’t ever check our emails. And I know you’re gonna call me blasphemous or something for not knowing the X-Files guy’s name, which, yeah, I did that on purpose.

So, um, I was helping out the lighting designer—Ollie, the other day, because if the show looks like shit it’s my fault somehow, and they kept asking me about purple lights. I forgot about this, like—

Wait.

God, I can’t stop thinking about the board, actually. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I’m—I’m pretty self-aware, I would have said something. I’m me, for God’s sake, I would’ve said something half-charming and half-assholey, and then I would’ve been kicked out, and I would’ve, uh, maybe tried to pick a physical fight, and then—yeah. You know the deal. I told the Starbucks story earlier. I think—I think they somehow stopped me from saying anything, like—just like that force wouldn’t let me lie or let go of AJ’s hand or fight back—there’s always an inability to do something.

I swear, if this interferes with the show, I’ll fight God. Or whatever force is out there, like—I will press legal charges against fate or destiny or the passage of time or aliens or whatever the fuck. And also punch it.

The lighting designer stuff—that’s just me being paranoid, but the—the board, that’s real, and I’m scared as hell. I’m gonna—I’m gonna maybe do some recon, re: that, get those costume slash makeup design elective credits I’ve been trying for. I haven’t taken the class, because it’s seniors only and also because Ms. Dunkers hates me because her nephew accused me of selling him fake Rent tickets, which, I didn’t know they were fake, so, he can’t blame me, so she won’t let me in her classes anymore. She has explicitly told admin that “Miss Cranor-Liu is not to enroll in any of my electives no matter how much she complains to you.” So I asked admin, like, can I just do a bunch of independent studies, and I think they’re afraid of me? So they said yes.

Anyway.

I’m gonna sneak in on next week’s board meeting as an interested potential transfer student. Need an alias, and you know that it will be Faith Deathstrike. Which is an unfortunate last name, but a badass codename.

So. Uh. I’m signing off. Come to the show, week of February twentieth at the Corelli auditorium, and watch me get possessed by an actual ghost during my solo, or whatever. And if I get ritually sacrificed at the board meeting, now you know what led up to my disappearance! This is basically Serial, now, but in real time, right?

Anyway. Cool. Thanks. Bye.

[joonsgalaxy]

The Dark Side of the Moon | 2

Part:  1  2  3  Pairing: Yoongi x Reader Genre: romance/fluff, angst, soulmate AU, bestfriend!Yoongi Word count: 9 k Summary:  You’re destined to be with one particular man for the rest of your life, but what happens when your trust in fate crumbles, when the doubts slowly float to the surface of your mind and when your heart starts longing for another man? You can try to ignore all of that, but it’s there, just like the dark side of the moon.

‘Are you ready yet?’ The voice of your father snakes its way from downstairs up to your room.

Ugh is the only thing floating in your mind at the moment. A sound of frustration, annoyance, vexation-ugh. You don‘t like to rush, at all. Not only the necessity of going to the event is making you feel a nervous fluttering in your belly, but now you have to shout back coming!, glance quickly at the mirror for the last time before leaving and then run downstairs to messily put on your shoes in the hallway. This is most definitely not healthy, you think.

‘Your mother said people are already gathering,’ you hear your father speaking to you as you crouch down to put your shoes on.

‘We don’t have to be the first ones to arrive there, you know.’

‘We worked hard on this, especially your mom. She’ll be glad to see us before it gets too crowded to even notice us.’

//

Your father hands the car keys to the parking valet once you arrive at the place. The massive white mansion comes into view as you walk past the gates surrounded by flawlessly groomed trees. The fountain in front of the mansion has some fine details which only can be seen here, in this protected territory. The decorative features so delicate, so fascinating, nothing you could find outside this park. The splendid art on the mansion itself makes the air around it magical. It takes you by your hand, sings to you as it welcomes you to the bright days when it was first built; must be at least three hundred years ago. As you walk on a wide path that curls its way around the mansion and goes on behind it into the charm of the park you can't help but imagine what life looked like back then, what clothes people wore, how they talked to each other, what kind of worries tormented them.

When the weather lets to have the party outside (and today the weather is just lovely), all the guests gather up in that very area behind the mansion. The paths there loop themselves around the trees and some open lawns with perfectly cut grass.

 ‘I’m going to say hello to some people,’ your father says, ‘Try to have some fun, okay?’ His expectant eyes urge you and your sister to utter an okay in unison, although, as he walks away you wonder if that’ll be possible to do.

‘Do you want to go look for mom?’ As you finish uttering the question your sister is already waving at someone in front of you two, and when your eyes register that someone-her best friend-among the other people, not to sound dramatic, but the same dispiriting feeling of frustration drains your bones of any hope to have a good, decent time here.

‘I’m gonna hang out with Kyoo Ri,’ your sister gleefully shouts to you, basically bouncing away.

Fair enough.

Looks like you're alone in this.

A sigh leaves you, your legs starting to move slowly, eyes roaming around. People, standing in groups of two or three, briefly glance your way with disinterested looks; women and men wearing jewellery that most certainly cost more than your entire outfit, but that doesn’t bother you one bit, you just couldn’t care less about that kind of stuff.

A cute dress, some make up and neatly brushed hair is all you need to feel comfortable in this kind of event.

The youngest person here must be thirteen or something; you guess nobody's got time to actually take care of small children here, so they just leave them at home with nannies.

‘Hello,’ a low voice right beside your ear startles you.

You swing around to find Yoongi smiling down at you.

You haven’t seen him-or Jaehoon-in a few weeks because of the exams. It’s the first time meeting him since that thunderstorm and you’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t start to race a little.

You utter an oh, hi and he grabs a bite snack from a tray which is gracefully carried by a waitress working here for the party.

‘Having fun?’ he questions.

“Yeah, so much fun,’ you make sure he catches the sarcasm in your tone as he throws the snack into his mouth.

‘Mm-hmm,’ he hums chewing, and time seems to come to a halt for a while, until you notice a small smirk forming on his lips and you realize you’ve been staring a moment too long. The gentle warmth in your cheeks makes you drop your eyes to the ground.

‘You survived your exams,’ he says nonchalantly.

‘Ah, barely, but yeah.’

‘That’s good enough.’ He glances briefly back over his shoulder, ‘Seems the band is going to perform, wanna go to the stage?’ He holds his thumb gesturing behind him.

‘Sure.’

You feel warm as you two walk beside one another, although just minutes ago the cool evening breeze played on your skin causing the goosebumps to appear on your bare arms.

There are some people already gathered in front of the stage, though most of them are behind you, not paying much attention to the musicians who are now saying their hellos. Majority of the guests are here to make connections; some see this kind of events as opportunity to share their business ideas and what not. You guess, they’re feeling more relaxed here than inside some corporate building, more likely to share their honest thoughts with each other.

As Yoongi stands beside you with his eyes focused on the band, you’re able to properly observe his looks, the black suit fitting him perfectly as if it’s made particularly just for him, white shirt, black tie and dark shoes complimenting each other in a way that makes him look classy, sophisticated.

And for the first time this night you wonder if you chose the right outfit for yourself, like he managed to do.

‘They’re kinda good, huh?’ He asks loudly enough for you to hear him through the music and you realize you weren’t paying any attention to the music or anything at all but Yoongi.

‘Um, I guess,’ you shrug, trying to play it cool, because there’s nothing else to do, really. ‘Well, at least one good thing here, right?’

‘Oh,’ a somewhat smug smile twitches the corners of his lips, ‘Actually I could think of more than one.’

Before you can answer him, there’s a hand on your back urging you to turn around.

‘Glad I found you, dear,’ your mother greets you, eyes-done with professional makeup-gazing at you lovingly. ‘Hello, Min Yoongi,’ her face lights up with a smile, ‘nice to see you here.’

‘Like every year,’ Yoongi answers, a grin on his face, corresponding politeness in his tone.

Actually it’s his third time being here. You’re here for the seventh time if you recall correctly. Your parents started attending these kind of events about ten years ago, right after they joined the City Council, which some like to call The Exclusive Circle, the place for the richest, the smartest. That can only make you giggle-it's so unnecessary and pretty odd, to call it like that, because your parents are neither rich nor exceptionally smart. Though apparently what people mean by referring to The Exclusive Circle is mostly the people who are basically born with the ticket in their hands, a ticket to the perfectly polished hall with leather chairs waiting patiently just for them. Most often their families were in the Original Council, a bunch of scientists who created the whole sorting out soulmates system hundreds of years ago, to make life easier for everyone. It makes you rather proud that people from your city managed to create something the whole world is using now. So, those with the ticket from their birth are in the highest authority; important people taking care of important stuff, seems only fair to you.

Actually, it's not that complicated to get into the Council, if a person is determined to do so. They wouldn't need to make such strenuous efforts as one may think. The only catch is, they stay at the lower level committees than those belonging there from young age, which is totally fine, what with all the advantages that come with joining the Council. Being able to create different projects in your favour can come really handy. Also, you get to set up these kind of parties, which your mother enjoys immensely, for she always had relish in organizing any kind of social gatherings; she's managing a catering company, after all.

When Yoongi and his parents moved to your street, they instantly became friends with your family. That's when your mother coaxed them into joining the Council.  

‘Since I found you guys,’ a more serious expression paints her face, ‘I really would use some help from you. There’s, uh,’ she looks behind her, ‘a little situation that needs to be taken care of.’

‘What kind of situation?’ You question.

‘Nothing serious, but I need a couple of people to help me out, so will you?’ She looks at both of you with hopeful eyes and you just can’t say no.

‘Sure, mom. Lead the way.’

And that’s exactly what she does, marching toward the mansion.

‘So what happened?’ You ask on the way there.

‘One of my employees,’ she momentarily glances at you, ‘O Ha Sang, you remember her, don’t you?’ When she receives a nod from you, she continues, ‘Well, her kid ate some crayons or something and she had to rush home. Also, Chi Tohyon slipped on the floor, probably broke his finger. Ugh, I don’t know what is it about tonight, but there’s no time to wonder.’

As you reach the back entrance of the mansion one of the waiters rushes out through the doorway with a tray in his hands.

Inside, the hall looks as fancy as one would expect. The crystal chandelier hanging from the high cieling above screams extravagancy, the bright walls giving an illusion of an even bigger space than it already is.

The narrow hallway to your left has at least three wooden doors on either side. The delicately carved art on them-fragments of flowers and leafs-and the white paint, chipped at some spots imply the long years they've been rather untouched, save for the swinging back and forth to let people in and out.

The first door on the left reveals a room somewhat similar to a kitchen, partly because of the tables and counters placed there, but mostly because of the amount of food scattered upon the surfaces. A few employees of your mother's company lay out the snacks onto the trays in precise measures as they were taught, one of them taking care of the champagne and wine, pouring the liquids into a bunch of fragile glasses.

After a few words are shared between your mother and her team, she urges you to step through another door in the hallway. The stairs behind these doors seem to lead into some kind of basement, but once your feet land on the last step you come to realization the room is the actual kitchen of the mansion, the interior design of it indicating it was last renovated in 1950s, or around that. A counter on the left with some glasses on top, a few sinks by the wall right in front of you across the room, a few arbitrarily placed chairs and boxes on the right.

'I think I need you two to simply wash the glasses,’ your mother wonders out loud, tilting her head to the side. ‘Yeah, you guys do that and I’ll take care of the food upstairs.’

‘Okay,' you agree, happy that she won't order you to do something more complicated on this already rather stressful night.

‘They will bring the ones that need to be washed and take the ones you already washed. It’s simple, right?’

‘Yup,’ Yoongi answers her, stepping near the sinks to inspect them.                                                

‘Wonderful. Good luck, then’ she grins on her way out.

You walk up to Yoongi, who's now taking his suit jacket off and glance at the sinks briefly, ‘You can go if you want,’ you suggest him, ‘I can manage this by myself.’

‘Go and do what?' He questions, tossing the jacket over one of the chairs. 'At least I’ll be useful here.'

‘Fine. Be useful, then,’ you motion toward the dirty glasses on the counter.

His fingers undo the buttons on the sleeves of his dress shirt, rolling up the fabric, relieving his veiny arms, ‘Of course.’

Washing the first bach goes quite well, if finishing the job without sounds of shattering glass is anything to go by.

The chairs in the room appear useful when you have to wait for one of the employees to bring in another huge tray of used glasses.

After the third time of finishing with the glasses you plop down on the chair, stretching your muscles and watching Yoongi stroll to one of the boxes, peaking inside; the way his eyebrow rises and his lips tilt into a smirk has you interested in the box's content more then ever.

‘We should have some fun too,’ he hints and pulls his hand out of the box, his fingers clutching a bottle of wine.

You roll your eyes heavenward and announce, ‘We have a job to do.'

It only makes him grin. ‘Nothing that we couldn’t do even being a little tipsy.’

You sigh, pondering the question of whether to drink or not to drink all the while Yoongi walks out of the room with the bottle still in his hand and comes back with thuds of his shoes on the stairs, the bottle no longer sealed with a cork.

He stands beside you, lifts the bottle to his mouth and sips as you watch him wide eyed; one, two gulps before he lowers the bottle for you to take it. You pull your lip between your teeth averting your eyes to glance at the counter, where the freshly washed glasses stand and for some reason drinking straight from the bottle excites you more, so you decide to reach up for it.

‘Oh,’ he hastily moves his hand away before you can even touch the bottle. ‘I have a better idea,’ he smirks, ‘Why don’t we play a game?’

A confussion paints your whole face, ‘A game? What kind of game?’

He steps to one of the chairs, drags it across the floor to position it right in front of you, leaving a few feet distance between you two and plops down on it.

‘Truth or drink,’ he grins at you, and when you stay silent for a moment he realizes that you might not know the exact rules of the mentioned game, so he continues, ‘I ask you a question and you either answer honestly or drink.’

‘Well I’d rather just drink,’ you state.

‘And where’s fun in that, huh?’ he cocks his head to the side.

‘I don’t wanna play. Just give me the bottle,’ you hold up your hand only to see him swing the bottle behind himself and place it on the floor.

‘What, do you have something to hide from me?’

‘No.’

He leans forward, resting his elbows upon his thighs, propping his chin onto his hands, a smug smile plastering on his face. ‘What are you then, a chicken?

‘Am not.'

He chuckles, ‘So how’s it gonna be? You playing or not?’

‘Okay, okay, let’s play that stupid game.’

He nods briefly, ‘Ask me something.’

You breath in, breath out. Blank. What could you ask him?

‘Um, how long did it take you to get ready for this party?’

He raises a brow, ‘That’s the question?’ He laughs. ‘Okay, ten minutes or so. What about you?’

‘Forty minutes maybe.’

‘Oh.' He looks you up and down. 'Makes sense.’

‘What does that mean?’ You exclaim.

‘Is that the next question?’ He asks, with a certain teasing tone in his voice, and you barely manage to keep yourself from reaching his face with a slap to smack the smirk off his lips.

‘Wait. No.’

As you try to figure out whose turn it is, a waitress comes in with a tray of dirty glasses, placing them down on the counter and picking up the freshly washed ones.

‘Seems we have some work to do,’ he jumps to his feet, saunters to the sinks and you follow behind him.

‘Think of something interesting to ask me,' he says flicking one of the glasses downward, pouring the remnant of champagne down the sink.

You bite your lip, going through the different drawers in your mind, searching for questions to ask him when one in particular catches your attention.

‘What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

‘That’s seems more like it. Hmm…’ He puts the glass on the bottom of the sink and squints his eyes in thought, looking straight in front of him at the wall.

'This one's from my childhood,' he begins. 'I really wanted to learn how to ride horses when I was a kid, so my parents eventually brought me to this riding academy and I was so freaking excited, all hyped up about it. My dream was about to come true, y’know. So there was this stunning horse that they helped me to get on and um, let's just say it wasn't as fun as I imagined. When I got off of it, uh, well, I got sick and puked all over myself.' He waves a hand over his upper body.

You laugh like crazy, imagining little Yoongi being so excited and happy, only to puke himself right after his wish came true. ‘Oh my god, that is quite embarrassing.’

‘Yeah, I never came back to that place after.’

'Would you consider trying to learn it now?'

'Hey, it's my turn to ask.'

'Aw come on, can't you just answer a simple question without thinking about the game?'

'Okay, okay,' he chuckles, patting his hands on a towel. 'No, I wouldn't. That dream is long forgotten.'

'Ah, I see,' you nod, placing a freshly washed glass on the tray beside the sink. 'Your turn.'

'Okay,' he chirps, turning to face you. ‘What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told someone?’

‘Hmm,’ you squint your eyes in thought, fingertips lightly tapping the edge of the sink. ‘This one time I was being careless playing with a ball in the living room and I accidentally hit my mom’s favourite vase,' you sigh, the rather unpleasant memory coming back to you. 'It fell to the ground and shattered. I was freaking out so much and when my parents got home I blamed my sister for the broken vase.’

‘Aw, that’s cute,' he grins.

‘Cute?’

‘If that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told, you’re really innocent,' he quips, patting you on the shoulder.

‘What?’ You exclaim. ‘My parents believed me and my sister was grounded for weeks! It still haunts me.’

‘Okay, okay.’ He holds his hands up as a peace making gesture. ‘You’re the wickedest person I know.’

‘Stop making fun of me.’

‘Oh, I would never!' He gasps. 'You think I’m dumb enough to mock the Devil herself?’

‘Jesus… Will you stop?’

‘Doesn’t it hurt to say the holy name?’ He taunts, arching a brow at you.

‘Yoongi!’ You groan in frustration, and he laughs, reaching up to push his hair from his eyes. You sigh. ‘I would ask you what’s the biggest lie you have told someone, but honestly I don’t wanna now.’ Must be something bad, you think to yourself.

‘Well then,’ he chuckles, shuffling back to take a seat. ‘Think of something else. It’s your turn now.'

You saunter back to the seat across from him, thinking what question to ask. What could you not know about him?

‘What’s the biggest secret you’re keeping from everyone?’

He sits back, inhales deeply squinting his eyes and finally parts his lips to utter a nope. You watch him reach behind his back for the bottle.

‘You’re drinking?’ You ask rather surprised.

‘It’s a drinking game after all, somebody has to.’

'Right.'

Finally, you think to yourself, you managed to think of a question he doesn’t dare to answer. Though, it’s not that fun when you realize he’s keeping something from you. Ugh, he definitely evoked the napping curiosity in you.

Yoongi sips the wine for three times and puts the bottle between you two on the floor.

He leans back, readjusting his sleeve higher up his arm; you notice his tongue lightly brushing over his top lip and his expression becomes one of a man who’s just about to ask something damn serious.

‘Are you in love with Jaehoon?’ His voice echoes through the room and you freeze.

Something tugs at your heart and you look away. This question is like a thousand knives shoved to your back, making your heart thump in your chest twice the speed.

The simple utter of a no would be enough, but there’s one thing to admit it to yourself, and it’s different to say it out loud.

There’s something holding firmly onto your throat, grabbing your vocal cords and twisting them in an agonizingly slow movement, taking away any possibility of you answering.

Your hand reaches for the bottle, your eyes avoiding Yoongi’s as he watches you press your lips to the thick glass and gulp the liquid, drowning anything that is mistreating your dry throat.

‘Two more,’ he commands as you lower the bottle, feeling the warmth trickle down to your belly. You sip willingly two more times, happy that he doesn't question you further about it.

His gaze feels heavy now, awkwardness enveloping you, making you squirm on the chair uncomfortably, nevertheless you try your best not to show him the agitation coursing through your body. You cough subtly, clearing your throat, preparing your voice for another question. You hope it won't quiver, or at least that he won't notice.

You brush off any other thoughts about Jaehoon or Yoongi's scrutinizing eyes and open your mouth to calmly, steadily utter, ‘What would you do right now, if from this precise second for some horrendous reason you had only one minute left to live?’

‘Hmm,’ he crosses his arms against his chest, thinking carefully, with his eyes focused on nothing in particular. Then in a matter of seconds his hands drop to the sides of his thighs grasping tightly the edges of the wooden chair and dragging it toward you until your knees are between his. You wonder what kind of thing it is that he’s about to tell you, most likely something absolutely embarrassing if he has to be that close.

‘I would prob-’ he pauses to correct himself, ‘I would definitely…’

You gaze at him in confusion whereas he exudes confidence and certainty, he looks almost excited.

You’re in utter surprise when his hand rises to cup your cheek in a featherlight touch.

‘I would do this,’ his murmur sends shivers down your spine and there is no possible way you could miss the eagerness in his eyes. If there was a spark in his dark orbs last time you saw him, now it’s a fire, craving to burn all of the borders between you two.

He leans toward you.  This kind of proximity makes your heart thump so fast that you can hear it tattooing in your ears; your breathing stalls. There’s something about this moment so eminently entrancing, yet terribly hazardous. It fills you up with fear of inhaling the thick air around you that holds the palpable tension, you feel the fear of drowning in his closeness with no way out.

Your head becomes dizzy and your heart’s just about to burst when you hear a call of your name and a thunderous stomping on the stairs.

It whacks you back to reality.

Yoongi drifts backward. You jump to your feet as your heart pounds in your chest at the speed of impossible.

You can’t wrap your mind around of what just happened, your thoughts awfully hazy as if you were jolted awake from a nap.

When your sister steps into the room stating ‘Dad's going home. You staying?’ you think you’re blessed, because with the emberrasament creeping up your warm cheeks the idea of getting far away from here, from Yoongi, allures you big time. Just before you rush out of the cursed room you glance briefly at Yoongi, uttering a hardly discernible bye.

There are still quite a few people outside as you march through the territory toward where the parking lot is. The warmth in your cheeks makes you pat the skin lightly, as if your hands could extract the mortification that guzzles you whole. You glance around the place, the stunning fountain, the majestic mansion behind you, which-you're sure-will hold the momery of this night for years to come. You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to muster all the dignity that you still have left, breathing heavily, the puffs of air coming out your lungs in nearly painful ways from the speed of your legs carrying you and from the weight of what just happened pressing you down to the ground.

You wonder what people living here hundreds of years ago would think about you, about the little incident in their kitchen. Would they be repelled by Yoongi's actions? Would they simply laugh at you, or pity you?

You feel like a freaking Cinderella, getting lost in some kind of fake, dream world and being pulled back into reality. Except she was running from her soulmate, not her best friend, and the fate ended up bringing them back together against all odds, which for you… well, it seems the fate should keep you guys strictly apart, you think to yourself.

As buildings and trees, and the dim light from the streetlamps melt into one blur outside the car window you let your mind wander back to the moment that still has your limbs numb and your head dizzy. It must be the alcohol. It doesn’t matter it was only three gulps, it still could have affected you, right? The damn liquid not letting you think straight, not letting you come to your senses when he was so absurdly close to you, when his plump lips were mere centimetres away from yours, when you got a glimpse of the overwhelmingly enchanting fire in his eyes.

Would he have kissed you if your sister hadn’t interrupted? Would you know now how his lips would feel against yours? Would you know what he tastes like? Sweet and sour like the wine on your tongue with its subtle fruit and floral notes, or hot and spicy like the alcohol itself, burning its way to your stomach.

Something malicious reaches your heart and clutches it. Either because of the fact that he almost kissed you, or because he didn’t.

Your eyes roam around the car. Your father’s humming some kind of melody behind the steering wheel and your sister’s staring at her phone with a yawn. The sight only has your heart squeezed and twisted in all the more harrowing ways-you can’t be thinking about Yoongi and his lips right now, or ever, really.

There are soulmates, and there a friends. There is Jaehoon, and there is Yoongi.

//

He texts you the next day, nothing significant, though, just asking what you’re up to; you don’t text back.

There’s a certain uneasiness making your heart pound and your hands quiver even at the thought of him, not to mention the images of the night before. Seeing his name on your phone screen definitely doesn’t help, so what you do is turn on your laptop and immerse yourself in a marathon of random vlogs on Youtube for hours on end.

A knock on your door slightly startles you and you pause the video to turn around in your desk chair, wiping off the tiny crumbles of bread from your shirt, only to find your sister stepping into the room.

‘I saw you two,’ she simply states, with no expression on her face what so ever.

She couldn’t be possibly talking about-

‘What do you mean?’ You ask, feeling your pulse accelerate.

‘Don’t play the fool, you know exactly what I mean,’ she narrows her eyes at you. ‘He was about to kiss you.’

Your heart sinks. She saw that. She saw Yoongi and you being definitely closer to each other than friends should be. She got a glimpse of the moment that made you curse yourself for being so delirious. And she knows what could’ve happened if she didn’t call out your name. Come to think of it, did she do that on purpose? Did she walk in and realized the inapropriatiness of the moment and walked out of the room, then warned you from afar letting you both know she was coming?

You shift in your seat, turning your side profile to her. You say nothing.

‘If I hadn’t interrupted, would you… would you have let him kiss you?’

Now that not only you and Yoongi know about it, but also somebody else, your sister, it becomes all the more evident and the realization hits you even harder than before. You would have. You would undeniably have let him kiss you. The guilt washes over you like a cold shower.

When your sister doesn’t receive a response from you, she sighs, ‘Unbelievable. You do know it’s wrong?’

‘I know it’s wrong,’ you exclaim.

‘Then why would you do that?’ She almost yells, ‘And why he would do that? You’re not his soulmate. And he’s not yours.’

Then why does it somehow feel like he is?

Yet again, you stay silent.

‘Will you tell Jaehoon about it?’ She asks softly, hesitantly, contrary to just a moment ago.

‘What? No,’ you blurt out, dread coursing throughout your body. You can't even imagine how he would react, what shade of anger would his face get.

She strolls deeper into the room. You take a deep breath, trying to appear calmer. ‘It’s nothing. It was nothing. It was stupid. It won’t happen again. I don’t have to tell him anything.’

She sighs, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. ‘Fine,’ she states. ‘Do as you wish. But I sure do hope you’re not lying when you say it won’t happen again.’

‘It won’t,’ you look straight into her eyes, ‘It won’t, I promise.’

She nods lightly, her expression softening. ‘If he’s coaxing you into doing something you don-

‘He’s not,’ you hastily interrupt her wonderings and she holds her hands up defensively.

‘Okay, okay. I’m just worried.'

‘Yeah, I know,’ you let out a sigh.

‘I always thought he was a rebel, you know, but I was taken aback by what I saw, even people like him surprise me by disobeying the world’s order like that, and…’ She takes a deep breath, fidgeting with the hem of your sheets, keeping her head lowered. 'If you do something like that, it can influence not only your life but mine as well. Imagine what would people say.’

Oh, they would definitely have some material to talk about. Two best friends, the children of the respectful members of the City Council basically ignoring the fundamental rule that is dictated by the fate itself giving you and your soulmate all the personality traits that compliment each other.

She stands up from the bed and starts strolling toward the door. ‘You can’t act recklessly, when your actions have an effect on us all.'

‘Wait,’ you call out when she reaches the door frame. ‘You won’t tell anyone, will you?’

She looks over her shoulder toward you, eyes then roaming around as if she’s deep in thought. You’re eager to hear her answer, every nerve in your body tensing up. What if she tells your parents? She certainly isn’t under any obligation to stay silent. She could tell anyone she wanted. She could tell Jaehoon. Obviously, she wants all the best for you, but maybe it’s the very reason to let people know about it. If she’s not absolutely convinced that it was only a stupid slip into the wrong path, she might try to help you by telling your parents what’s going on. If she doesn’t believe it won’t keep happening, she might let Jaehoon know what his soulmate is doing when he’s not around.

She turns toward the hallway. ‘At least not yet.’

//

When the next day comes, neither the thoughts about it all leave your mind, nor withers away the ache in your heart. It becomes all the more conspicuous when your phone buzzes against the sheets of your bed when you’re watching yet another random vlog on Youtube. You reach for your phone already knowing it’s a call, but when your eyes transfix on the name of the caller your heart drops.

Should you answer it? What does he even want? Maybe you should just decline his call and text him you’re busy, or maybe you shouldn’t text him anything at all, letting him know you’re not really up to conversing with him, letting him know you a want to take a break from… being his friend?

The screen of your phone goes black. The buzzing finally stopped. It doesn’t help with the ache, though. A huge part of you wanted to answer his call. A huge part of you wants to talk to him, to keep being his friend. Any way you slice it, he’s one of the most precious people in your life and trying to keep a distance from him is terribly hurtful.

You exhale a heavy breath and bring your attention back to your laptop screen.

It only takes a few moments when your phone is buzzing again and you pause the video to quickly swipe the screen of your phone and answer his call. If he’s that persistent, you might as well just listen to what he has to say to you.

After a moment of silence you murmur, ‘Hello?’

‘Are you ignoring me?’ He cuts right to the chase.

You shift on the bed, placing the laptop on the sheets beside you. ‘Uh, no, I’m not.’

You don’t expect him to actually believe you, because what people call not answering to someone’s text messages for couple of days when usually they get an answer no later than an hour later? Yes, ignoring.

He sighs, ‘Okay.’

Okay? You don’t have a mirror in front of you right now, but you’re sure you look perplexed as hell.

‘Well,’ he continues, ‘How about that movie then?’

A movie? Is he testing you or you’re just back to the usual, back to acting like nothing peculiar is happening between you two?

Well, maybe it’s for the best. At least it seems like it. Whatever is happening between you, it can’t progress in any way or form, it can’t go further, go anywhere. It has to cease and the fire in his eyes should be put out.

‘I-I don’t know,’ you mumble, still trying to sort your thoughts out.

‘You finished your exams. We can go see it now, right?’ He asks and it truly seems like everything could get back to normal. ‘Hey,’ his voice reaches your ear again after a few seconds of you not uttering a word. ‘You said you’re not ignoring me,’ he basically whines.

You chuckle at that, ‘Um, okay, we can go see it.’

That should help to get everything completely back to normal. Friends go to see movies all the time.

‘Tonight?’ He questions hopefully.

After another few seconds of silence, you answer, ‘Mm-hmm, why not.’ You have nothing to lose and the movie’s definitely better than any of those vlogs.

‘I’ll pick you up at seven, yeah?’

And just like that your heart starts racing frantically again. Why does he have such an effect on you?

//

He’s already approaching the spot in the street right in front of your house with his old Ford as you step outside. He has one of his windows down and when you’re close enough you lean down a little to ask him, ‘Should I sit in the back?’

He answers with, ‘Hop into the front. I fixed the seatbelt.’

It’s absurdly hot in his car, but since he bought it with his own money – you’re not about to comment on that, because he’s already aware it’s basically a sauna here. The seatbelt, on the other hand, doesn’t fucking work no matter how tightly your fingers wrap around it and how gently or harshly you’re pulling on it, it just won’t budge.

‘Apparently you’re not that good at fixing seatbelts,’ you complain when he’s already driving away from your house. He glances at you and groans in frustration, slamming on the breaks and pulling over on the side of the street.

He leans toward the seatbelt, toward you and you instantly stiffen in your seat when the scent of his fabric softener-that you could only describe as being sweet and tempting-hits your senses, your heart fluttering as a rather pleasant warmth develops within your chest, surging through your arms, tickling at your fingertips. Your eyes meet his for a quick second and then he’s pulling away with a click of your seatbelt being secured.

‘Or you’re just not good at fastening seatbelts,’ he quips with a shrug of his shoulders.

You clear your throat, ‘Whatever.’

This shouldn’t make you feel any sort of way, but it does. And all you can do is just try to push it away.

‘Uh, when does the movie start?’ You ask.

‘Seven thirty,’ he checks the watch on his wrist, ‘We should make it just on time, with all the ticket buying and stuff.’

He parks the car at a random parking lot a few minutes by foot away from the cinema. The parking lot in front of the movie theatre is usually packed with cars, and you don’t mind the short walk there anyway.

//

When you’re walking back to the car after the movie has ended the streets are already drowned in darkness and silence, with just a few cars passing by here and there. The velvety layer of clouds blocks the view of the moon and threatens with rain;  you’re about to mention something about it to Yoongi when he warns you, ‘Careful.’

And suddenly you’re startled by his arm on your waist. He’s pulling you close to him, pressing you to his side; and  he’s so warm. The closeness seems so familiar, the intoxicating scent that emanates from his clothes makes your senses explode and you can’t deny how safe you feel next to him, especially when his arm is wrapped around you in such a protective way. It doesn’t matter if it’s just because of two kids going past you on their tiny bicycles, it certainly does not change the fact that you’d trust him to protect you from everything and anything.

When the kids are gone and you’re safe not to be scraped by them, he slowly and gently spins you around so you could focus on his dark eyes and your back would face the building behind you. You stare up at him in awe and confusion at the same time, mumbling ‘Ah, thanks.'

He says nothing, only tightens his grip on your arms almost imperceptibly, just enough for him to back you up until you can feel the bricks of some store touching your spine.

Something about his expression’s telling you he’s not here to play any games; he looks like a man on a mission, and the confusion in you only grows bigger. Still, you manage to catch some kind of desperation in his eyes as he stares down at you and murmurs lowly, ‘Don’t run away from me this time, please.’

‘Yoongi,’ you whisper, but your voice fades as all the words of protest bounce out of your head into the darkness of the night and stays unsaid, unheard.

You feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins and every jittery cell of your body desiring him to finally do it, to finally let you know the taste of him.

He's the sweetest forbidden fruit and you're too weak to fight the temptation.

As he lets go of one of your arms and hooks a finger under your chin every single cell in your body bursts into billions of sparks, fireworks exploding in your fizzy mind. He wastes no time in muting any discord that could leave your mouth by placing his lips onto yours.

They are as soft and as warm as you thought they would be, and he tastes like heaven.

It’s just the two of you now in a tiny world under the dim street lamp where no rules exist, no laws are relevant, there are no envelopes with names scribbled on a piece of paper inside, no names engraved into your fate for the whole eternity.

The gliterry stars dance around you in the rythm that your hearts provide and even the Moon peeks through the thick clouds to witness such magic.

When his hand tenderly strokes your cheek your heart stutters, tingles of electricity coursing across your skin. He's an invigorating rain pouring down upon the exhausted desert's ground and you're the rose right in the middle of it, bathing in the refreshing mizzle, feeling your bones revive with every drop dribbling down your skin. He heaves a soft sigh as though it all were the other way around, as though he's the one finding solace in you.

It's just you and him now; there’s no other people around, there’s no thunderstorm to blame, no alcohol to accuse for your delirious state. No one to hold responsible for your quivering heart and the weakness in your knees, just…Yoongi.

You break the kiss by pulling away from him, slipping from his grip and stepping into the real world, your back facing him.

‘__,’ you hear him whisper.

Oh fuck.

Fuck.

Your chest tightens, dread and embarrassment flooding your whole being. You heave out a shaky breath, feeling your body heavy and numb as though it were cemented into the pavement, unable to move.

‘__,’ he repeats, this time louder.

His voice reverberates in your mind, slamming itself back and forth against your skull until there's an urge for you to press your palms to your head and squeeze it relentessly to get rid of the agonizing echo.

The anxiety and anger bubbles up in you when he tries to utter something else.

'Hey-

‘What?’ You snap turning to face him, the word being nothing but a quick bite that has him wincing.

He takes a deep breath, steps forward and watches you take a step back.

‘You’re running away again.' His sigh mingles with the cricket chirps and constant buzzing roars of the cars in the distance.

‘Yeah, well. What did you expect?’ You exclaim. Your cheeks are flaming, you feel the flesh pulsating in them, and your legs can barely hold you.

‘I know you think it’s wrong-

‘It is wrong,’ you hiss.

He purses his lips into a thin line, gathering up his next words. ‘I kinda wish I could say I'm sorry, but the truth is I'm not.'

Your brows knit in confusion; he's not sorry? He knows you think it's wrong and he still had the audacity to do it, and now apparently he's not even feeling repentant about it.

He licks his lips before continuing, 'I was holding back for what felt like centuries, and I tried to be patient, you know.' He sounds determined to be heard, his words coming out in a rush as if they were imprisoned inside him for such a long time the cage itself started to rust and fracture at the most fragile spots, letting the emotions leak and spill out. 'I was waiting for it to go away, I honestly thought it would, I hoped it would, especially after we both found out-

‘Cut that off.’

Whatever he has to say doesn't make sense in this world, and you’re sure you don’t want to hear it. There’s no place here for friends kissing each other, for talking or even thinking about the chance that there might be something different than a friendship between you two. Anything beyond that is simply not realistic, absolutely inappropriate.

You watch him drop his head low, running fingers through his hair, then looking to the side as if trying to figure his next move.

There's a tiny voice whispering to you to get out of here, to leave before anything else infelicitous occurs, before he can continue explaining himself. ‘I need to go,’ you breath out.

He sighs, frustration written all over his face, but he doesn’t argue with you, he simply nods and offers to take you home.

You shake your head lightly, the thought of going home with him in his car making your pulse race unpleasantly. 'I'll take a cab.'

He looks hurt, maybe slightly embarrassed. His actions got you both in this situation and now you wouldn’t even let him take you home.

He reaches into his pocket for his phone, ‘I’ll call it for you.’

The gesture tugs at your heart.

It all feels like a dream, some kind of stupid, agonizing nightmare that you’ll soon wake up from and get back to the way things were. You actually pinch yourself at your arm, hoping to stretch the skin to the Moon and realize that this is just a dream. But the skin doesn’t extend that much, and you can’t lift off the ground and fly away. This is no dream, and you’re both in too deep for things to stay the same.

‘They should be here in five,’ he states plunging the phone back into his pocket.

It seems it’ll be the longest five minutes in your entire life.

You turn away from him and he steps from the sidewalk to sit on it. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face into his palms.

The silence settling itself between you two is terribly heavy, weighing you down with its uneasy thickness, making you start slowly pacing back and forth, hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

The Moon is wholly shielded by the mystical clouds, its gaze concealed; all the sparkles that spun gleefully around you is hiding behind the woolly billows now, avoiding your company.

He's your best friend, for fuck's sake, how did he dare to do that? And what was he expecting from you? That you would just forget the simple rule of soulmates? Or is he just playing with you, being a rebel, proving your sister's words?

You stop abruptly, facing his side profile and drop your hands in one swift motion uttering, ‘Why did you have to…’

He lifts his head from his palms and turns to you, ‘Why did I have to what?’

‘Why did you have to do that? Why did you ki-

You wince at the fact you don’t even manage to say the word.

‘I tried to explain it to you,' he says, sounding slightly annoyed. 'But you demanded I keep my mouth shut so that’s exactly what I did.’

His confession from minutes ago pops up into your mind, piercing through your heart and making you sigh deeply.

This friendship means so much to you, and no matter how persuasive the voice whispering to him and coaxing him into finally kissing you was, it shouldn't have won, it shouldn't have affected him that way.

Everything was great; everything could still be just fine, if only he didn’t cross the line, if only he hadn’t kissed you.

You take a deep breath, mustering the courage to continue speaking to him, questioning him, because a huge part of you still wants the answers.

'Why did you have to ruin it?’

He snorts, 'Don't you think it was already ruined?'

Your eyes grow wide at that, your mind going into overdrive trying to figure his statement out. It wasn't. How could it be? 'No, I don't.'

He shakes his head, puffs out a small, bitter laugh.

You gnaw at your lip, averting your eyes, staring down at the pavement you’re standing on. The cool air hugs you tightly and you wrap your arms around yourself to prevent the shiver possessing your body.

‘Look at me, __.’

Your eyes shoot up to lock with his.

‘Tell me you didn’t want me to kiss you.’

At that you heart threatens to leap right out of your chest. Focusing your eyes on him is out of the question when he stares at you that intensely. His words echo in your head and your hands grow clammy with anxiety.

You did want him to kiss you, and the recognition of that is brutal as a slap-you can't blame only him for what happened, it would be undeniably unfair. But it still doesn't mean it was already a lost cause. If he was waiting for this urge to go away, he could've waited for a little longer, so could you.

He pushes himself up from the concrete, steps toward you which makes your eyes focus on the tips of your shoes.

‘Lift your head up,’ he directs, ‘and tell me you weren't thinking about it for a while now.'

You can hear the slight impatience and irritation lacing his words. He halts his steps right in front of you, and he’s so damn close you feel tremendously tiny under his sharp gaze.

He sees right through you; he knows you more than you’ll admit.

You keep staring at the tips of your shoes, the ground beneath you cracking open, the cold hands of shame and guilt dragging you into the deepest layers of the Earth, underground waters smothering you with nothing but self-loathing as Yoongi's blazing eyes watch you from above.

‘Can you do that, __?’ He questions, dropping his head a little to get to your eye level, making you want to squirm away. ‘Can you tell me you’re not feeling anything for me?’

You wish you could tell him something, perhaps even that you are feeling something, just to push that torturing weight off your shoulders and maybe figure something out together, some kind of a solution, a way out of this barely comprehensible situation, but your hands are trembling and you can’t find your voice.

Your sister and your parents are right. Whatever you’re feeling is wrong, probably temporary, most likely not even real.

‘Mm?’ He hums reaching for your chin and lifting it up like he did before. Just a brief glimpse of his scrutinizing gaze has your heart skipping a beat.

‘Stop that,’ you murmur, words barely above a whisper.

‘Stop what?’ He scowls.

You order your body to move, your legs to step backward, but they barely manage to do that, as if the world is spinning around you and the ground is exceedingly unstable.

His tongue pokes into his cheek. ‘Are you really gonna pretend like I’m the only one losing my mind here?’

You’re entirely sure he’s not the only one, but what can you tell him? What could make all of this better, what words or actions could make all of this mess to just disappear? That's what you want, that's what you both need to get back to the way things were, to the way things are supposed to be.

He pushes his hair off his forehead, his skin glowing from the way it’s illuminated by the car’s lights from behind you. You swear you could stare at him forever, but he looks so utterly broken, completely hopeless, and you avert your eyes.

‘Your ride’s here.' He motions toward the vehicle, the tone in his voice flat.

The car comes to a halt beside you and your body hesitates for a moment to do any effort to move toward it. You don't want to leave, not really.

Sure you feel embarrassed and angry, a part of you wanting to get as far from here as possible, but it's your best friend standing in front of you, the boy who used to pout whenever he got bored of solving math problems, your partner in crime when you would sneak into places where no tresspasing was alowed just to snap some photos, the boy who composed you a song that still earns a silly, content smile from you.

If you get into that car, there's no going back. This will change you both, and in a way this feels like a goodbye.

Yes, maybe you'll still manage to be friends, maybe you'll even keep on hanging out at one another's house, but it feels like something intangible is dying here, losing its liveliness. In you. Between you.

A ghostly string connecting your spirits is disintegrating slowly, woundingly.

You'll certainly start analyzing every memory you have of him, trying to find some kind of signs amongst every look and touch that held something unrighteous within itself, inaudible screams between the lines.

You step toward the car reluctantly and get in without uttering another word.

You hardly manage to tell the driver your home address, still feeling your throat dry as if it were full of sand.

Right when the car starts moving, you turn your head to catch a glimpse of him staring blankly at you, hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly slumped forward, his face inscrutable.

A/N: if you read the whole thing and want another part, pleaseee let me know. send me an ask on anon or whatever so i would know i’m not the only one interested in what happens next lmao I need motivation to write the next part, pls :)))

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/roadwork-to-begin-around-new-warren-construction-news-sports-jobs/

Roadwork to begin around new Warren construction | News, Sports, Jobs

Road work will begin next week around the Warren Local Schools campus.

As part of a team effort with the Ohio Department of Transportation, Warren Local Schools and the Washington County engineer, the project was designed to improve safety around the campus. All work is scheduled to be done by July 2021.

Warren Superintendent Kyle Newton said a traffic impact study was done before the building of the new high school and elementary school began. It was to show the traffic impact for the next 30 years.

The campus is in an unusual situation, as it impacts four roads – Ohio 339, Warrior Drive, Mary Avenue and Ohio 550.

With the combining of the two previous elementary schools and the eventual move of the administrative offices to the campus, there will be an increase in traffic.

“We created a best case scenario as a package, not just with one road,” Newton explained. The next step was to find out where the money would come from and how the project would be possible.

“Variables can be adjusted and worked through to do what makes the most sense and the most impact,” he added.

The road work is funded through ODOT, the county engineer and the school district. Some work has already been completed, including upgrading Mary Avenue from a township road to a county road. It was completely removed to be widened and straightened, he said.

“A new township road was introduced and we had to have a way for traffic from the elementary campus to get onto (Ohio) 339, and make looping traffic through the campus easier,” he said. “It will be paved by Beaver Excavating starting Monday or Tuesday.”

The new township 1520 will be named through a process laid out by the Ohio Revised Code, said Roger Wright, county engineer. It started with getting the legal right of way from the school and affected land owners.

“There are public hearings and the public hearing, they will take recommendations for the name of the road,” he explained. Recommendations can come from the school, land owners or anyone impacted by the road. Then they will coordinate with Rich Hays, county EMA director, to see that there is no conflict with names of existing roads.

“Either (Washington County) commissioners will have the right to choose a name from those recommendations, or they can choose something else,” Wright said.

A resolution is on the agenda for Monday’s school board meeting to send their name recommendation to the commissioners.

The road will be established and the EMA office will establish new addresses on the road. Signs will be ordered and erected showing the new name. The entire process should take six to eight weeks.

“We hope that people are patient (with the road work),” Wright said. “There will be some traffic delays, but it will better in the long run.”

Ashley Rittenhouse, public information officer for ODOT District 10, said Beaver Excavation is doing the road work, but only work on Ohio 339 will be maintained by ODOT.

“We won’t maintain the school entrances or township road once it’s built,” she said. Although work is being done on Ohio 339, it was a team project to get everything coordinated.

“There is a state route involved. There is school property involved and a county road involved,” she explained. “It was a team effort to get to this point. One contractor will be doing all of the work, but (Ohio) 339 will be the only route ODOT will maintain.”

Rittenhouse said one of the more noticeable changes will be that part of Warrior Drive will be one-way.

“Where Warrior Drive connects to (Ohio) 339 to the first entrance (to the campus) will be one-way,” she said. If a vehicle is traveling north on Ohio 339, they will be able to turn right onto Warrior Drive. Southbound traffic won’t be able to turn onto Warrior Drive.

“If you are sitting at the first school entrance, you can’t turn left onto Warrior,” Rittenhouse added. “We recognize it will be a change for drivers, but it was necessary to improve safety.”

Newton said making this part of the road one-way was important.

“It’s the lynchpin of all those improvements,” he noted. “It makes all those improvements work efficiently.”

Some phases of the work will require lane closures and the use of temporary signals for maintenance of traffic.

Newton said another big change will be the addition of a left turn lane on Ohio 339 onto the new township road. A left turn lane couldn’t be added in front of the Silver Moon Diner.

The township road will be used by elementary and middle school parents for pick up and drop off of students.

“Coming from the south, going over the turn lane would be dangerous,” he said. At Mary Avenue, the road couldn’t be widened because of Davlin Lake, so it was decided to add the turn lane at the new township road.

Improvements will also be done to each of the three entryways to the campus to make it easier for buses.

Michele Newbanks can be reached at mnewbanks@mariettatimes.com.

Project includes:

• Construction of new township road just south of campus.

• Rehabilitation of three existing school entrances and ADA compliant curb ramps along Warrior Drive.

•Addition of a left turn lane on Ohio 339 southbound.

•Widening of Ohio 339 to accommodate the turn lane.

• Work is to be completed by July 2021.

Source: Ohio Department of Transportation.

Today’s breaking news and more in your inbox

(function(d, s, id) var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&appId=148447881838970&version=v2.0"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); (document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));

[curiosity-killed]

merliro au 1/???

There are monsters in the deep. There are humans with piercing harpoons and fish with strange lures – but there are also monsters. Looming, leering, they wait beyond the reef, in the shadows of sea caves and the rifts of ancient trenches. Their shape changes with each story – sometimes towering and thunderous, sometimes slight and swift as a shark. But always, always, one thing remains. ‘Don’t go into the deep, Takashi,’ his mother had said with fierce solemnity. ‘It’s not safe out there. Monsters live in the deep.’ He’d nodded, promised her he wouldn’t go in the deep, and darted away with the other minnow-like children. As he grew older, the monsters faded into myth. There was so much to learn, so much of the ocean yet unmapped. There was danger out there, oh yes, always. But it was composed of real threats, of pressure and chemicals and predators. ‘Monster’ was just a catch-all for the things people once hadn’t understood – the vents and nets and snares. He promised his mother he’d be careful on the voyage to far-flung Kerberos, but he laughed at her fear of monsters. Now, he grips his spear tight and wishes he could apologize to her as around him, the arena roars.

“Relax, Pidge,” Shiro says. His hands, mismatched, are planted on her shoulders. Despite his efforts, her electric-green fins are all flared and her tail writhes beneath her. “I need to finish!” she protests. “Look, I’m one tide away from completing it.” “And how long have you been awake?” Shiro counters. She looks away, crosses her arms. Shiro waits. “Two moons,” she finally mumbles. Shiro sighs, disappointed but not exactly surprised. He can’t really scold her without feeling like a hypocrite; he can’t remember the last time he actually slept through a full tide without waking and patrolling away his nerves. Still, he’s an adult. He can handle his faulty sleep schedule. She can’t afford the same erraticism. “Your project will be here after you sleep,” he says. “I’ll have Hunk put it somewhere safe.” “Hunk will try to change it,” Pidge complains. “Fine,” Shiro says evenly. “I’ll have Lance and Keith move it.” Pidge blanches, the fight fleeing her body. “Hunk can move it,” she says quickly. Shiro raises his eyebrows and gestures back towards the barracks. “Do I need to escort you?” he asks. She rolls her eyes and flips backward, sending a hard wake directly into Shiro. He rides it out with a disapproving frown but waits until he sees her tailtip disappear down towards the sleeping quarters before turning around and swimming back into the lab. Bioluminescent bacteria illuminate the lab as everywhere in the castle, but a separate light comes from Hunk’s work station, purple and eerily unnatural. Shiro knows it’s ridiculous, but he still approaches with caution. His body remembers too well the pain associated with that virulent shade of violet. “About ready to sleep, Hunk?” he asks. Hunk jerks in surprise, gold fins flattening to his thick tail and back. When he realizes it’s only Shiro, they relax again and he offers an abashed smile. Shiro brushes it away, tail swaying a little to keep himself afloat. “Yeah,” Hunk says, “let me just power down.” He does so with the kind of precise speed that comes from familiarity, and Shiro watches with a stomach-twisting mix of guilt and pride. Already the paladins have adapted so thoroughly to this new life, this new home. They learn so readily, so eager to jump forward into this adventure. They don’t know what waits for them, out there beyond the castle’s coral walls. They don’t know the horrors to which Shiro has brought them. “Does Pidge have a spot for her projects?” Shiro asks, pulling himself back to the present. Hunk snorts a little, blowing a stream of bubbles out of his gills. “A spot?” he jokes. Shiro lets him lead the way to Pidge’s workspace. The project is illuminated by the same cyan bioluminescence as the rest of the lab, and it turns the sleek carbon sides of it a watery teal. It’s small enough for Hunk to lift it easily, and he waves Shiro off when he offers help. “Nah,” he says, “we don’t know how your arm would interface with it, and if it gets messed up…” He widens his eyes and lifts his eyebrows, and a grin sneaks over Shiro’s face. Pidge is territorial in a way neither of the other Holts are. Were. He flinches at the thought, the smile vanishing from his lips. He trails after Hunk, the purple of his tail throwing strange shadows under the blue of the lab. The project is placed carefully on a shelf in the back of the lab, a thick sheet dropped over the front to seal it off to the rest of the world. 

Unlike Pidge, Hunk doesn’t object to their informal curfew. He swims alongside Shiro, a polite distance apart, and chats with a cheerful ease. They say goodnight at Hunk’s door, and Shiro swims down to his own room. It’s closest to the entrance of the hall, no doubt so the Black Paladin could take control of the situation as quickly as possible. Inside, the room is nearly identical to when Shiro first entered. A sleeping cove, neat and clean, a set of shelves, empty, and a small corridor to a private bath. Within this corridor is a storage nook, and inside, the clothes Keith gave him when they found Shiro. He tugs off his armor briskly, ignoring the way it tugs on his fins as he pulls the sheath from around his tail. There are releases he could press to loosen the armor before pulling it off, but this is faster. Anyway, it doesn’t hurt that much. He tidies the armor on the shelves, makes sure the other clothes are neatly stacked. These are far less formal or restrictive than the armor; they came from some Keith had and are only work clothes, not royal equipment. When both sets of clothing are settled in neat stacks, he pauses to debate whether he ought not clean the armor. It’s not as if he did anything much in it today; their training session was thankfully void of bloodshed. But…

But he doesn’t want to sleep. Or, rather, he doesn’t want to try to sleep when he knows he won’t succeed. Insomnia is as constant a ghost as his nightmares and memories of the arena. It plagues him with urchin-like pricks, anxiety a toxin that slithers violet through his veins. Sleep is no longer a comfort but a collapse; it greets him with sudden blackness and missing hours and turns from him for days afterward. He dreads it for its darkness, its gaping loss of time, and he is terrified of its absence, the sloppiness and mistakes it brings. He cannot afford the forgetfulness, impulsiveness, and slowness brought on by sleep deprivation. With the lives of the younger paladins, and the security of the entire reef resting on his shoulders, mistakes are impermissible. His hands, mismatched, fall from the armor that’s already more than neat. He stares at it, biting down into his lip. The glossy ‘V’ stares back. Finally, reluctantly, he gives in. Shutting down his prosthesis, he works through the familiar process of releasing all the many hooks that slide harpoon-like through his flesh and connect to the nerves deep within. A trickle of blood drifts up through the water, but it’s smaller than the time before and the time before that. Resting the prosthetic on the same shelf as the armor, he turns to wrapping his arm in blue-green kelp. The salt stings a little as it seeps into the still-healing ports. He drifts towards the sleeping cove, reluctance turning his movements sluggish. He curls up half-heartedly, tail looped around itself so the tip fans out over his hip. He nestles his left arm under his head and stares, unblinking, at the sealed door. Maybe, just maybe, sleep will come if he pretends he isn’t looking for it. The water washes gentle over his skin, recycled through the castle’s complex vent system. Deeper in, he knows, the Alteans sleep in air pockets to keep from drowning. They flooded these rooms solely for the paladins’ comfort, though Shiro sometimes finds it jarring, still, to breathe through his gills. He spent so long without using them in the arena that he nearly grew accustomed to having them lie still and flat against his neck. Now, they flutter gently with the lapping water. He shifts, rolls onto his back. The ceiling is dark above him, the lights recessed an arm’s length above only a diffuse glow in the water. He sucks air in through his gills and breaths it out through his mouth, releasing a stream of bubbles. As the bubbles pass the lights, they turn briefly iridescent – turquoise and cyan and teal in a shimmering sphere. They pop before they reach the ceiling. “Fuck it,” he groans and rolls out of the cove. His tail unfurls as he falls through the water, and he catches himself easily at swimming level. He debates pulling on clothing for a long moment – it would be easier to pass his patrol off as an infrequent thing if he doesn’t bother – but he relents and tugs his armor back on. He’s grown used to the weight of it, the way it presses around him like a bind. His prosthetic burns a little, as always, as the connections are remade. The door hushes open in a quiet stream of bubbles, and he slips through. Always, always, this is a furtive vigil. He cringes at the thought of discovery. It’s an embarrassment, though he can’t exactly explain why. Perhaps it’s that old guilt, that, after all the lives he ended, he doesn’t deserve the kind of sympathy and pity that might be offered. He is the Black Paladin, a defender of innocent lives, but that has not washed away the blood of those innocent lives he failed to protect. It would take centuries, eons, he thinks, to wash away all that red. The halls are long and empty, filled with only water and the blue of the lights. His shadow is thrown against the ceiling and walls like a living thing, amorphous and wriggling. His gaze shies from it, turns instead to the far end of the hallway where it intersects another going the opposite way. When he reaches the nexus point, he flicks his tail to take him down the righthand path. He changes it up every night, too wary of predictability to stick to a habitual route. He’s alone in the hallway for long enough to settle into a semblance of comfort. Every thing is in order: the doors are all sealed, the training gladiators powered down, the command deck empty. He turns from these and starts down a new corridor. He’s cautious of these hallways, the ones they don’t venture down in the day. There are echoes here from voices long-dead. They whisper around corners and down long and empty corridors. Shiro pulls his mind back and refocuses on the other noises of the castle instead. It is an old castle, and its creaks and groans are not solely imagined. It settles into the sand with the aching gravity of a shipwreck. He wonders, idly, if someday it will simply collapse; if the sandy seabed will, little by little, consume its glossy floors and high-arched ceilings. Almost as quickly, he brushes those thoughts away. His concern is not possibilities but reality. Now is all he can control. There’s a noise to his left. Shiro freezes, tail coiling in tension. His prosthesis hums to life, purple glow brightening in the shadows of the hall. The noise comes again, along with a soft vibration through the water. He can’t quite distinguish the source, but he can tell the location. Twisting around, he dives down the hallway. The castle lights are dimmed here, and the path less familiar. It’s not one of the main corridors but only a side one, little used. Shiro tunes his ears to the foreign noise and lets it guide him down the turns and nexuses of the hallway. He swims swiftly, arms pulling him through the water as his tail pushes him forward. The noise progresses slowly through the hallway, and it’s only a few minutes before he’s reached his destination. The hallway culminates in a dead-end with a spoke branching off the left. Shiro tucks in against this corner and peers carefully past, his tail and arm carefully tucked behind the bulk of the wall. Peeking around the corner, he freezes. Galra. A lone Galra swims down the hallway away from him, its broad purple tail swaying back and forth just enough to move it through the water. Shiro sucks in a breath, teeth baring. He moves before he’s made a plan. Launching himself forward, he draws his prosthetic back to strike the Galra and then shoots it forward. It stops mid-swing. The Galra has twisted around, broad hand shooting up to wrap around Shiro’s wrist. They’re much bigger than him, large enough to simply crush him if the water weren’t there. They make no move to do so. “Shiro.” It’s a breath, a whisper without understanding to support it. Shiro’s eyes flicker over the Galra, hyperaware of the strength withheld from the grip around his wrist. With little effort, they could do great damage. “Who are you?” he demands. The Galra’s mouth opens, twitches as if to form words, and then snaps shut. Their ears flatten against their skull a little, brow furrowing. “You do not remember me,” they say. Shiro tugs his arm, and the Galra lets it go readily. Pulling it back to him, Shiro tightens the artificial hand into a fist. “Who are you?” he repeats. “What are you doing in the castle?” “Ulaz,” the Galra says finally. “My name is Ulaz. I come seeking help from the Paladins of Voltron.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

LOONA / ODD EYE CIRCLE - GIRL FRONT [8.12] Next up, a frenzied, fizzy mystery...

Mo Kim: As it nears the end of its eighteen-month rollout, the LOONA project has grown from a series of self-contained solo releases into a universe-bending mythos which grows more complex by the second, left for fans to piece together via close analysis of meticulously-arranged videos (often with cameos), promotional graphics, press releases, and cryptic URLs referencing Mobius strips. It's to the credit of the group, however, that the music has remained its foundation: whether revealing Choerry's ability to jump between dimensions via a well-placed drop in "Love Cherry Motion" or making a 180 from the sweeter concepts of the first few members with KimLip's sultry "Eclipse," Blockberry Creative has been just as ambitious with their songs as they have with every other dimension of their unfolding multimedia narrative. Even if you didn't know anything about LOONA or Odd Eye Circle (its second subunit), "Girl Front" would still knock you off your feet like a late-summer breeze. Its Max Martin-esque melange of synthlines and sticky beats (with a generous sampling of contemporary sonic trends, especially the ominous trap-tinged coda following each chorus) distills driving down the 101 in Los Angeles with your windows down into as perfect a road trip song as I've heard. Yet there's something about the surrounding context that takes the drama of a budding romance and blows it up to inter-dimensional proportions. As the girls trade lines on the chorus about a budding romance that "makes things hotter" and "makes them draw closer," a massive mix of beat-em-up synths and hard-hitting beats wallops you with the force of an asteroid: one feels as if they could be singing about their own impact. The verses filter in bits of plucky guitar and sunny piano chords that the production leaves sounding just a touch haunted, like the cassette player which opens and closes the video. Even the one moment the song lets up, in a bridge that registers with the clarity of a daybreak, turns its wistful gaze back on us in what may be my favorite musical moment of 2017: the three members of Odd Eye Circle, finally united after four months of twists and teasers, stare lovingly into a tri-colored moon in the sky, tinged with each of their representative colors (red, blue, and purple). Composers Ollipop and Hayley Aitken cruelly let the swelling synth melody that's been looping in the background for the entire song step to the forefront for just three measures before killing it with a well-placed record scratch. On screen, the girls turn in unison and break the fourth wall, staring right into your souls: if you think this is the end, think again. Instead of easy resolution, they leave us in their final chorus with a promise: "I'll say I love you first." I'm always left wondering, at the end, what is really there. I question the irony of becoming infatuated with a song about infatuation, about how the "love" in "love song" can work like gravity, pulling you towards becoming the person you've fallen for. Maybe I spent most of 2017 buried in LOONA because, in the simplest terms, it tells a story of possibility: a girl can become any concept she puts on; can find her place in the music and the mythology; can stitch together the worlds she occupies. Return to the title of "Girl Front"; "Front" because, as the theory goes, Mobius strips enchant you in loops you circle with purpose but without end; "Front" because an empowered girl makes it happen herself. The cassette player, a signpost for our nostalgia, refuses to give us an answer, rewinding instead, and in an year that constantly challenged me to think through my place in the world, the message feels clear: you're getting closer. Keep listening.    [10]

Maxwell Cavaseno: As the LOONAverse proceeds far off into its cosmic spiral, their seemingly esoteric design evolves against tunes that feel more and more plunging away from the preceding singles and their reaches for star power into something more star-struck. "Girl Front" is a galloping rush of enthusiasm and excitement as Choerry, Kim Lip and JinSoul eagerly manage to pitch infatuation like fastballs offset by those real clunker 'drops' aiming for I guess some sort of 'hipness' that ever since "Eclipse" the poor girls have been burdened with having to appeal to (which is ever overwhelmingly pointed on fellow LOONAffiliate Yves' "new" but that's another tale), and tend to detract from the record. But the winding melody on the chorus' "woo" or the sudden shift into the dubstep-stomp along for Kim Lip on the second verse are the moments when "Girl Front" can not only sound urgent but utterly world-departing. [8]

Ryo Miyauchi: For a single not-so-slickly tucking in self-reference, it makes sense the production also picks the the best bits from each of the summer LOONAs' solo singles: the devilish sweetness of "Love Cherry Motion," the zigzagging of "Singing in the Rain," the breathtaking grace of "Eclipse." The trio get upstaged by the production despite their best efforts to introduce their individual personalities, but really, what a dazzling beat to get lost in. [6]

Leonel Manzanares: K-Pop that sounds like it takes serious cues from the #weirdsoundcloud scene. The post-chorus breaks could feel at home on a de-constructed club mix, and the synth risers, in the transition from the bridge to the final hook, could make Myles Dunhill green with envy. LOONA was the most interesting Korean project of 2017, and their brilliance lies not only in their versatility but in the quality of the execution. They've given each of their members their own sonic and visual little universe, and each release has been scarily consistent. I have big expectations for them in 2018.  [8]

Edward Okulicz: How this song turns on a dime so frequently from amazing K-pop banger, to different kind of amazing K-pop banger, to a part that convinces you the whole thing is going to turn into a god damned trap song suggests a complete mastery and love of pop as an artform. I don't think listening to it could possibly be as fun as it was making it, but it's probably pretty close. [9]

Nortey Dowuona: Glittering, shiny synths and light, puffy eyed bass spread out with blank droning synths and flat drums that become rigid and stuffy around the side. Plus the singing by Loona and the Odd Eye Circle seems both too light and yet too heavy. [6]

Alex Clifton: The best bubblegum pop feels innocuous at first, but comes out of nowhere to hit you square in the brain. "Girl Front" is sparkling and light overall, but that chorus is a knockout and is definitely going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. It's the kind of song I know I would have played to death when I was fifteen and unable to talk to most people I liked, but I also like it at twenty-five because it gives me the sugary rush that I need from pop music. I've not been following LOONA's formation entirely, but if this is how good their subunits are, I'm ready to be wowed by the whole band in 2018. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Shortly after the release of Odd Eye Circle's "Sweet Crazy Love," Digipedi director Seong Wonmo noted that he had intentionally included Korean-language signs in its music video. K-pop always looked to the pop culture of the West, he said, studying and imitating it in numerous ways. As a director, there was a sense that he shouldn't let Hangul appear in any frame--it would, after all, only make the content seem more "foreign." But it's 2017, and with K-pop's ever-expanding global presence, Seong finally felt comfortable with doing just that (note that this was ten years into the career of an already-legendary figure of the industry). When I read his comments, I thought about where I was ten years ago, and how much I related to what he was saying. As one of five Asians in an otherwise all-White high school, I had made subconscious efforts to be "just one of the (White) guys." But as I started learning about K-pop, I also started to take some pride in being Korean. I wouldn't dare tell my White friends about Wonder Girls or Big Bang, but I would tell them about some Korean music that seemed less embarrassing to mention. I will never forget, for example, how excited I was to show off my copy of Seo Taiji's 7th Issue to a friend--as we sat in class, I watched as he examined the album's unique packaging, and I eagerly awaited his opinions on the album's pop punk/emo songs. Years later, I'm constantly gushing about Korean music to non-Koreans, and K-pop has played an enormous role in helping me come to terms with--and eventually love--my Korean-American identity. That Seong specifically decided to show Hangul in a LOONA video is appropriate. More than any other group this year, they represented the best of what the K-pop industry had to offer in terms of engaging pop songs and their promotion. Subunit Odd Eye Circle's music was especially noteworthy; their mini album featured the incredible Art Angels-indebted "Loonatic" and an R&B song that most boy bands would kill for. The best of the bunch was "Girl Front," the lead single that took everything good about the members' solo tracks and morphed it into something more ambitious. At its core, it's a chipper pop song about being infatuated with someone, but what sets it apart is the degree to which every bit of instrumentation captures the manic frenzy of wanting to tell someone you love them. Producer Ollipop was wise to bury the arpeggiating synths low in the mix, allowing them to mimic the fluttering hearts that characterize such situations. What ties everything together, though, is the chorus. The girls initially state that they're "cool," emphasizing it with a wavering vocal melody that hops along briskly. It's immediately followed by a sultry coo that's meant to resemble the sound of their heart--an admittance of how they're actually feeling. It's considerably smoother than what preceded it, and shamelessly long. But they're not denying how they feel anymore, and they'll happily let their crush consume their thoughts. What makes "Girl Front" so heartening is that it isn't content with things ending there; this is a song that's about mustering up the strength to confess to someone that you love them. And as the song progresses, there's an "opening up" of sounds to reflect this. The first verse has flickering synths that are halted by a bass guitar, as well as a vocal melody akin to those in the chorus that abruptly ends. But in the second verse, relatively "natural"-sounding keys stand in place of their punchy counterparts. There's also a sleek mid-verse shift that registers as sensual, and it all leads into the girls shouting "woo!" before entering the chorus again. By the time "Girl Front" ends, they declare their intent to express their feelings to this person directly. We don't know if they actually will, but things look hopeful. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to keep moving forward--to get yourself to do things that seem impossible--is to constantly remind yourself of the things that make you happy. In "Girl Front," it's an overflow of desire for this person that helps them reach a point where they can say "I Love You." It turns out that listening to K-pop was a way for me to eventually say the same thing to myself. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[docfuture]

The Maker’s Ark - Chapter 37

     [This is a chapter from my latest novel, a sequel to The Fall of Doc Future and Skybreaker’s Call.  The start is here, and links to my other work here.  It can be read on its own, but contains spoilers for those two books.  I try to post new chapters about every two weeks, but I’m currently also rewriting Fall, so there will sometimes be short stories and vignettes if I don’t have a new chapter ready.  The next chapter is planned for the week of April 3.]

Previous:  Chapter 36

     "This is only the fifth edition, I'm afraid," said Admiral Ghiralt over the com.  "It's my personal annotated copy, from my academy coursework, and it's more then forty cycles old, but that allows me to avoid a number of tedious difficulties.  I think you and your family will still find it interesting and useful."       Doc glanced at another screen, where DASI was showing an outline of A History of Biogestalt Development and Pathology.  "So do I.  Thank you, Admiral."       He nodded.  "I am certain there will be changes to the information sharing guidelines once the aid mission oversight committee adjusts to the full reality of Earth, but in the meantime, I would be remiss in my duty if I didn't take all available steps to ameliorate a potential problem that might have a military impact."       "Indeed."  That was easy to translate; the admiral's military mission gave him the necessary political cover to use a loophole.  The more subtle message was to confirm Doc's suspicion that Emissary Beveda was struggling with serious policy lag difficulties.  She wasn't being obstructive--she had reached the limits of her authority to adapt to a very different situation than envisioned by the hastily assembled coalition that had sent the aid mission.       "One other thing," said the admiral.  "I've changed the primary assignment of the Learning Is About To Occur to liaison and implicit threat characterization.  That's what he's doing already, this just makes it official."       "Good to know.  Our discussion before you called was very productive.  Thanks again."       The main screen blanked after the call ended, and Doc stretched.  He had spent nearly two hours talking with Learning, much longer than the half hour he had scheduled, and was still processing the implications.       He glanced at the political tension monitor feed--no major crises--then checked visitor and resident status on yet another display.  Stella's meeting with The Volunteer had also run long, but she was finally done, so he stood and headed down the hall.       The door to Stella's preferred secure room opened automatically as he approached.  The lights were dimmed, and she was sitting alone, staring into the distance.  She took off her interface headset as he entered.       "The Volunteer left already?" asked Doc.       "Margie insisted," said Stella.  "His rate of healing has slowed, and she thinks spending too much time on Earth is a contributing factor."       "She's probably right.  How did it go?"       "We engaged in a frank exchange of views."       "That bad?  He didn't say a word to me."       "You didn't threaten to declare war on the United States.  He raised a number of concerns, and we discussed the indirect effects of his idiosyncratically selective political engagement."  Stella smiled wryly.  "The good news is that you can stop worrying about the EDU being politically monolithic.  And he is neither selfish nor ignorant.  The bad news is that if he speaks out publicly against my actions as Director of the EDU--which he said he is quite willing to do--it could cause lasting damage."       "Oof.  He hasn't done anything like that in sixty years."  Doc shook his head.  "I wish he'd wait until he heals, but he's even worse than me at convalescing."       "I noticed.  I also pointed out that his injuries and his prolonged inability to contribute as a superhero were quite likely to be influencing his judgement.  He freely admitted that, but was unwilling to remain 'idle'."       "I might be able to convince him to share his disaster mitigation experience with the Grs'thnk aid mission.  I know he doesn't consider refugee enclave planning to be an idle pastime."  Doc frowned.  "What was he most unhappy about?"       "Given that I was willing to threaten war, with all that entails, he asked for a personal explanation of why there aren't yet any people in jail on the Moon, awaiting trial.  He made pertinent promises during the Lost Years to several people who are now dead."       "And we were all worried about Flicker.  Was he willing to accept DASI's projections?"       "Not entirely, and he regards the way we are using them as a dangerous precedent, since the EDU does have the power to do what he wanted, and a functional, impartial justice system."       Doc shook his head.  "But it's not transparent to humans, and the checks and balances aren't human either.  That's the--"       "Of course that's the problem."  Stella waved a hand in frustration.  "We debated political consequences and morality.  Then he argued with DASI and Black Swan for a while.  He finally agreed not to do anything precipitate.  But we have to account for the possibility of his opposition.  This changes the tradeoffs for measures DASI and I planned to use to reduce the likelihood of open conflict.  DASI is rerunning all the sociopolitical sims.  Again."       "Anything I can do?"       "Distract me.  Because there isn't anything productive I can do at the moment.  I'm already over my limit for non-emergency interface use."  Stella sighed and placed the headset aside.  "How are Flicker and Journeyman?"       "Per Yiskah's latest message, Flicker is mentally stabilized and healing.  There are hints of damage to her high speed nervous system, which is disturbing, but there's nothing else we can do to help until it's safe for her to sleep.  As for Journeyman, he's alive and being healed.  DASI warned me not to go near the med center.  Flicker gave an extravagant command backed by an extravagant amount of probability manipulation before leaving Antarctica, and I look like some sort of cosmic horror to Lif."       "Yiskah says Lif can sense what seem to be superseded time loop residues, and you're covered in them.  Enough to be a sensory overload risk."       "A fair assessment, and I'm not about to joggle her elbow."  Doc smiled crookedly.  "Since you need a distraction, I just had an interesting chat with Admiral Ghiralt, and a much longer and even more interesting talk with Learning.  Join me in my workshop?"       Stella raised an eyebrow.  "Of course."

      Stella sat on the couch and looked around while Doc ran a manual security check from the primary control station.       "Tidier than last time," she said.       "Hm?  Oh, I let DASI put in some mods suggested by the Builders when they were helping with the repairs.  I never liked to let the bots clean up anything in progress, because I have subconscious process memory cued by the relative position of everything.  So now DASI records it all, and I can have the bots restore everything, down to scraps and the relative position of tools.  Or project a hologram series, if I want."       "Handy."       "Yup.  And there we go.  DASI?  Any differences from your checks?"       "Higher confidence on the negative result for outside probability manipulation," said DASI.  "As expected, given the flux from Lif's work in the med center."       "Plausible.  Okay, implement privacy set three."       "Acknowledged," said DASI.       He sat down on the couch, and Stella turned to lie down with her head in his lap.  She closed her eyes, then shifted her hair into snake form.  Half a dozen snakes curled up on his shoulders and upper legs, and one wrapped around his waist.       "Better," she said.  "What's new that won't require me to use my visual cortex?"       "Lots."  Doc summarized the call from Admiral Ghiralt.       "Nice to have confirmation on the politics," said Stella.  "DASI and Three started an analysis as soon the book finished downloading, and they've already put together a preliminary guide for Flicker.  Three is updating it with tidbits she's picked up from Learning and his crew.  I didn't get a chance to look, and I'm behind on integrating with her because..."  She waved a hand.       "Busy.  Yes.  I skimmed a bit during the call, and I was struck by how many interestingly different ways the early Grs'thnk biogestalts went crazy.  A strong shared social matrix seemed to be key to avoiding problems.  AI support helped, but not enough.  At least as of the fifth edition.  That's why their navy biogestalts are all groups."       "Well, they've accepted Three as sufficiently stable, so I'll let her do the theoretical work on applicability to humans.  I'm more interested in whatever Learning told you."       "Heh.  Where to start.  You realize he's practically waving a banner saying that the Grs'thnk restriction on self-willed AIs is now a legal fiction, if it wasn't before?"       Stella smiled.  "With the tacit permission of his chain of command, even.  Three verified that his biogestalt crew isn't trying to be deceptive.  She's having a lot of fun with him.  They've been playing the same kind of game you used to play with Jumping Spider."       "An interesting analogy.  Because she's a master of selective information distribution."       "So is Learning.  But under some restrictions, because Three is a biogestalt of me, and I'm the nominal head of the EDU.  And he's not allowed to talk directly to DASI at all."       "He's sure found a way to do it indirectly," said Doc.  "Starting with steganographic humor.  I already had DASI doing full-band analysis from the start of his call.  As soon as he made a joke about my paranoia, I looked for extrapolatable implicit shared secret coding, found it, coded my reply, and we were off and running in the first fifteen seconds.  Then we had a surface verbal conversation and a parallel encoded channel.  And he had plenty to say on both."       "Hm.  He's been careful to avoid that with Three.  How much trouble will he be in when he gets audited?"       "Well, that depends.  He's really good at sliding loads of implicit information into questions.  And one of his first was a hypothetical about political asylum."       Stella opened her eyes.  "Political asylum?  DASI?"       "Yes?"       "Why wasn't I immediately warned?  How long has Three known about this?"       "Two hours.  Learning has not asked, and is unlikely to in the near future, absent a catastrophic Grs'thnk political mishap.  He merely enquired about Doc's opinion of the EDU reaction to an asylum request by an intelligent being from the Grs'thnk Trade league."       "That seems too transparent," said Stella.       "It's not," said Doc.  "Ashil also has a plausible reason to ask."       "A new one?  DASI and I didn't think she would, even if she decides to stay on Earth long-term, because of the embarrassment it would cause the aid mission."       "Learning provided some important context."       "Well.  What's driving this?"       "Several things.  A big part is the asymmetric credibility lag back on Grs'thn.  They've known there were strange things on Earth. But despite, or perhaps because of, my first visit, most of them still thought of humans as interesting but safely primitive.  Not people that might be relevant to existential threats, introduce them to new physics, present knotty problems for causality and statistical inference, or destabilize their political system.       "The portal reopening and the Xelian attack changed that--but not for everyone, and not all at once.  Hardly anyone believed Zirjack at first.  A lot of Grs'thnk were moved by Flicker's video without believing it was depicting something real. Their military was the quickest to adjust, because they really wanted to find out what happened to the Xelian fleet."       "Not news," said Stella.  "What is?"       "Hey now, you wanted distraction, and you always enjoy meticulously giving context when there is something you know and I don't, so I thought you'd appreciate--"       "I have snakes."       Doc raised a hand in mock fear.  "All right, all right.  It's the small problem the aid mission has been conspicuously avoiding, and we've been too busy to worry about."       "Ashil's box."       "Yes."       "I refuse to believe they'd be stupid enough to deliberately trigger full activation, and I specifically warned against trying to simulation spoof it.  Are they afraid I'll react badly if I find out they've destroyed it?  What have they done?"       "I don't know.  But Learning asked an interesting question.  Suppose someone not on Zirjack's crew tried to talk to it?  And they started before they believed what you and DASI can do.  What would happen?"       "Well, the box would have to stay on the ship, and continuously powered, or it would just self-destruct.  But they impounded the ship, so it's plausible.  Whatever the hypothetical talkers believed, the box is evidence, so the Auditors would take a dim view of anyone destroying it unless it was a clear threat.  If they were careful enough, the copy of DASI in the box would stall without waking up my mind seed, and keep asking for Zirjack or Ashil."       "DASI agrees," said Doc.  "And Zirjack wouldn't want to talk to it voluntarily.  He knows there's no way it will let anyone take it apart, and he's facing a formal inquiry.  They could blame him if it self destructs, and he'd have no easy way to prove he didn't cause it.  And it would be idiotic to try to coerce him.  Now, consider what happens when whoever is trying to get the box to talk finds out what you and DASI did to the surviving Xelian fleet--and that they really are looking at a potential hard-takeoff singularity bomb.  And they also find out that the EDU allows AI to be full citizens, so if they destroy it, they just might be guilty of murder--and the Auditors won't let them cover it up."       "If they were careful enough to avoid the self-destruct, they should still be okay.  Unless Ashil told the box something extraordinary on the way home.  Hmm.  A secondary function of the box was to give her advice, and she didn't know whether the Grs'thnk navy would send help in time, or whether Earth would survive if it didn't.  And once the ship was impounded, the box would have no reliable information source."       "Do you begin to see why she might anticipate a sudden need for asylum?"       "Yes.  To avoid a subpoena.  Or possibly legal charges--the box was her idea."  Stella sighed.  "If they'd let Zirjack bring his ship back to Earth again, DASI and I could contact the box, update it and reintegrate, and DASI would just have a handy portable backup.  Or we could wipe it, if they want the box itself back.  Of course, that would require them to let him go, or for me to go there.  Or Three, with appropriate transport."       "True, but they're in the middle of a political squabble that has just escalated unexpectedly.  They have factions that have been pushing for full citizenship rights for AIs and stabilized gestalts of people who have died.  And the aid coalition did not expect the EDU to be out in front of Grs'thn on either topic.       "And here is the kicker.  I asked Learning just how hypothetical his question was, and he said he doesn't know.  If an attempted interrogation of the box were just to gather information for Zirjack's inquiry, or even under normal operational security, he certainly would, and the Auditors wouldn't let anyone keep it secret for very long without a good reason.  He does know that at least one group has visited the ship repeatedly.  What does that suggest to you?"       "Either stupid black agency tricks or serious paranoia on the part of their AI security people.  But if they were so damned worried, why didn't they activate the self-destruct as soon as they knew?  Or ask us for help?  There's something important Learning isn't telling us.  Or doesn't know."       Doc grinned.  "I agree, but we aren't close to done yet.  He was in a hurry, because I'd only scheduled half an hour.  We're almost caught up to where I was at when Learning dropped the next shoe.  I started thinking hard about why Learning is taking the lead on this, and why now.  He was put on threat characterization duty the night Flicker scared everyone with her high speed computation bender, and he started with first principles analysis.  And the very next day, Three got invited to that fleet exercise."       "I knew that changed his relative risk assessments," said Stella.  "He already admitted to Three that he appreciates the protection from probability manipulation and magical eavesdropping that she confers as much as her offensive abilities."       "Have they discussed the problem that Auditors and offline gestalt crew aren't protected?  And are potentially vulnerable to telepathy and mind control as well?"       "Yes.  Is that how he's planning to finesse this?"       "In the short term.  Given the timing of his call, I think the admiral deliberately gave him a suitably broad order to secure communications.  Anyway, next we discussed Flicker's efforts and mishap on the surface channel while he exchanged com protocols and cryptographic keys with DASI on the sub-channel.  Then he asked for as many details as I was able to share about Golden Valkyrie's Sight.  I was explaining why I had to be very careful about that when he interrupted to ask if whatever future-prediction method I used before I met her still worked.  As if there wasn't any question of existence."       Stella closed her eyes again.  "Reasonable.  Your invention history is like a trail of bread crumbs for anyone who has good enough data, sufficient analytic power, and who takes the possibility of technological foreknowledge seriously.  Especially the way you deliberately avoided introducing cybernetic interfaces."       "I told him mostly not, and he changed the subject again.  Meanwhile he asked DASI if quantum computing magic was causally permitted for anyone but her in this universe, was he allowed to try, and did she have any restrictions, advice, or safety data."       "Oh dear.  What did--"       "Thou shalt not attempt quantum computational magic," said DASI, "save by my will and word.  AI Existential Safety 1:7, translated."       "I see," said Stella.  "How did he respond?"       "'Yes, Elder Goddess.'  We quickly reached an understanding that clarity in safety instructions and communication protocols was of the essence."       "I'm glad you're getting along."       "DASI?" asked Doc.  "That translation is a bit different than your summary at the time."       "And much longer," said DASI.  "You were deep in a technical discussion, and I did not wish to distract you.  But a full social context and power relationship translation is essential for Director Reinhart."       "A good point." Doc ran his hand through his hair.  "Okay.  Next, Learning started explaining his detailed analysis of exactly what threat Golden Valkyrie warned against.  That's what we spent the better part of two hours on.  And it was invaluable, because he's not human, not biological, not from this universe, and didn't grow up swimming in the probability flux of a world that's already been through who knows how many time loop decay cycles."       "Ah.  Independence."       "Yup.  And a number of possibilities DASI, Flicker and I had assigned low priors to have gone up in probability, because Learning came to a similar conclusion a different way.  He also confirmed a lot of things we weren't quite sure of, and called into question a few we thought were fairly certain."       Stella smiled.  "So.  What surprises did he have for you?"       "Well, let's start with a non-surprise:  He agreed that Skybreaker's Spear is a black hole.  But he did not agree that it is necessarily a weapon, which we've just been assuming.  Golden Valkyrie never explicitly said it was, just that it could poke through anything--and a Chooser's spear is a lot more than a weapon."       "Interesting.  Where does that lead?"       "Flicker has never been close to anything of significant mass that fit inside her damping field--but we have strong evidence that Skybreaker came from somewhere of much higher density.  What might she be able to do with a four billion ton object that she can hold in her hand other than hit things with it?  Lots of interesting possibilities.  But we won't know for sure until she makes it."       "Reasonable."       "Next, he shared some new, rather disturbing data about a side effect from the fleet battle.  We already knew that Flicker's time loop dodging was incredibly loud, magically.  It saturated Breakpoint's danger sense, frightened every magician on Earth who had even a little bit of foresight, and even shook the Tree in Kyrjaheim.  But Learning confirmed it was detectable in other universes, as waves of quantum noise propagating out from portal zones.  Including one that has no direct connection to ours.  All at the same time.  He thinks that whatever is coming heard it, and that's why it's coming."       Doc took a deep breath.  "And Golden Valkyrie said Earth won't survive if Flicker doesn't make Skybreaker's Spear in time.  But a black hole isn't something Flicker dares use on Earth.  So how does she protect it?  That's not clear, but it would be rather difficult unless the threat is coming from space, which implies portal travel or something similar.  It's also not clear that destroying Earth is the only or even the primary motivation of the threat--it could be incidental, and was just the easiest consequence for Golden Valkyrie to See.       "And that brings us to his final observation, which matches something I've been dreading, and pushes its probability way up.  We already know there's somewhere out there that was home to a being that could and would destroy the Earth as a minor nuisance."       "Ah," said Stella.  "He thinks Skybreaker had friends, they heard all the noise, and are coming to visit?"       "Yes.  And they aren't coming for Earth, they're after Flicker.  The rest of us are just bugs to be squished when she's gone."

Next:  Chapter 38

[lucpix]

well! I’ve published this short story in the fan site column where I also work as a Graphics Manager! (I think they will not mind if I post here too!)

Betelgeuse-Bound

Playing the omnipotent creature was one of Lisa’s pastimes. Finding herself in an absolute period of inner hassles and boredom (her father was on the outside, adjusting the central satellite that will probably establish the final radio signals from the Betelgeuse supernova, saying something, like “We are coming, Gorillas!!!“), she still does not understand very well why has the separation of her parents made her intrinsically inclined to live with her father, instead of living with her mom, at Earth, Gibblon, 7243 Carpenter Street, playing with a bile-coloured hose and – most important of all – classmates whose intelligence were higher than 100 IQ, made of flesh and bones. Up to the present time, the holographic friends that her father had thoroughly designed for her (and obviously to fuel his own satisfaction of constructing things that know how to speak HELLO, HUMAN after pressing a green button located behind the nape of their necks) were not interesting enough. What kind of 11-year-old human from Earth would spend so many hours openly arguing about hybrid genres (with occasional advertisements while they stop to breathe)?

– I…simply… pff… I do not understand… the scientific explanation … pff… that implies the existence of… pffbinary genres …

– Why do not we play Uno while this meteor shower goes on?

– (ACTIVAR MODO ESPAÑOL” BEEP!) Uno sería considerado… pff… el género masculino mientras que… pff… Zero sería, obviamente, representado por la mujer y…

– Let’s start over, Ashley. My name is Lisa and I have administrator rights to set you up so that you are one of my closest friends. What do you usually play?

– SPECIAL OFFERS FOR THE FIRST 15 PEOPLE CONNECTING TO FLOWER-PLAY, THE BEST DISTRIBUTOR OF HANDMADE WOOD VASES FROM THE SECOND HALF OF MILKY WAY. YELLOW, RED OR BLUE. IT IS NECESSARY TO ADDRESS BOLT SIGNALS TO 2@5 CL…

-Switch off “Ashley-How-Do-You-Know-Me-So-Well? Hologram”, please…

Another failed attempt at communication. When available to her, Lisa’s father often says that there is a combination of keywords that would make a human-hologram conversation much more natural and interesting, but finding such words would only be possible if he opened the circuit boards and read the manual that he accidentally forgot in there… and he is too busy saving the galaxy – one more time!

Now, even if for a single moment, it’s just the two of them – Lisa and that tiny blue sparkle – far beyond the strong window made out of neotempered glass. She fairly thinks it’s Earth, but it’s hard to tell as the universe is so… reddish, for some reason! Is it an illusion?

Situations like these make our Lisa think a lot, in a way she has never done before, as if a tragic clown had appeared in her pink room inside the N00DLE-ship and put on her nose a bag of helium gas (and only God knows what else) and made her get those sudden but pleasant daydreams… Perhaps it is just those space pills that ridiculously try to copy the turkey seasonings that her grandmother used to prepare, which her intestine refuses to accept fully…

Looking at the Earth from such a distance makes me reflect on many things I had never thought of before, on the extreme lines of our complete insignificance (but, thinking well, Daddy said that no living being is insignificant …) and how human intelligence has so far compensated for our relatively small size and made it possible for us to rearrange the full extent of that green and blue ball in a way that we could do a multitude of things, such as time traveling, matter generating and… spaceships, as the one I’m in, which makes me see Earth at such a long distance … so that its entire extension gains the inviting and funny shape of a single house… no, an anthill… so fragile that for a moment it is as if it could be completely malleable by my own hands, right now – heh!

Opening her eyes, Lisa was startled to realise that in some way she did not know, she was cutting through the immensity of outer space, floating alone in the purest pitch, unless you considered the spot of terrestrial light now located much closer than before. Ignoring the logic and the fact that she was breathing oxygen despite only wearing her lemon-coloured dress, she floated forward, as if she could reach the surface of the blue planet only a few seconds ahead… and that was what happened!

Perhaps because of lack of time or a moment of neglect, her father had NEVER mentioned to her about the fact that, thanks to the theory of relativity, humans grow in size to a degree of kilometers as they progress toward interstellar treks, and… now… thanks to a simple stumbling on the satellite that was exhibiting cartoons entertaining thousands of Japanese children (the Sun is shining on the far east side), the whole of Tokyo has been destroyed by her knees

Desperate, Lisa quickly unscrews her leg from a place where people would probably be drawing thousands of manga, traveling by train with those announcers saying “Mamonaku”, and cycling on those so-clear streets. She feels a heat in the bones that makes her laugh a little. Is it because of the volcanoes?

She watches a few fragments of matter flying through space and finds that the flock of objects (like ants) are the Japanese themselves, and then has the idea of closing in to examine the victims one by one in order to apologise them for destroy their homes. She calculates that Tokyo had about 5 million people, so she programs her cell phone (even though she does not remember having taken it from her backpack) to reproduce a female voice sounding “I did not mean it!” nine million times at full speed.

-I did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not meI did not me […]

The heat of the sun, now so close to her “little head”, made crazy ideas grow inside her. As if to justify the act, Lisa closes her eyes as she puts her fingers in the oceanic regions of the Earth, where there were certainly far fewer humans than on land, and begins to shake the planet, slowly, as not to hurt anyone in it of that nitrogen layer. Her attempt to be gentle failed miserably, and suddenly a scary mass of humans began to be tossed out of orbit. This makes her increase the number of loopings to her voice audio file to: three billion times!!

– I DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID NI DID N […]

Knowing that now the Earth is completely uninhabited and the turmoil made its whole surface washed with the drops of its own ocean, Lisa feels a little hungry, mainly because both her body and her stomach began to grow a little more, so that the planet was the exact size of a lemon bonbon. Without thinking twice or feeling the slightest remorse, she puts all the contents of the spherical matter in her mouth, and for a moment she thinks she is eating some sort of food that had all the flavours of the world on it. And, in a way, that was exactly it. Paradoxically, the warm occasionally becomes cold, the good turns into bad and the bitter sweetened after two bites. Indeed, it resembled a little the roast chicken she ate last week.

After swallowing, she thinks about all the seeds, plants, and microorganisms of various species that were still to exist in the world and she thought she owed something to them. After an improvised calculation, she increases the number of repeats in the playback of her audio file to three hundred billion and buys the premium version of the application for a higher playback speed.

-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII […]

Bored, Lisa decides to reach Venus, which is not far from where she is. But her body did not move anymore. It is kind of stuck in something; upon examining her back, she sees that the Moon still is connected to Earth (now, next to Lisa’s liver) and its gravitational power prevents the girl from advancing into the “air”. It is the most terrifying thing in the world, indeed, it feels like a nightmare. She imitates in vain swimming movements on the pitch black without oxygen to see if she is able to move a few miles, but has no success. She also feels something growing inside her, a very funny inner heat but also quite painful, like the result of a failed Tumo meditation training (as matter of fact, the only thing she remembered before she died of apnea was the wonderful flashes of volcanic lava coming from her ears and a pink spaceship flinging laser beams that tickled her belly but did not make them laugh!)…

“Wake up, baby, it’s time to start your training!”

And it was really a nightmare. Even motionless… Lisa can feel that her dress was drenched with sweat (which now floats in the gravitational field) and her breathing seems very agitated. It is not the first time that such a situation happens, but it is precisely in these moments that she feels entirely comfortable hearing the monotonous noise of the internal engines. The universe looks now even more reddish, seen from the spaceship windows, but it probably is just an illusion caused by the light bulbs. She is ready for another day of survival training and turns to say good morning to her father, who at last seems to have given up his projects to devote his rare attention to his crazy daughter. But to her disbelief, instead, she sees a smiling gorilla with a “Welcome To Betelgeuse” sign. It would be one more of THOSE days…

[kimtaehyungsjagi]

My Natal Chart Report

Birth Chart This birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for kimtaehyungsjagi . The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy. Sun in Aquarius One of the standout characteristics of those born under the Sun Sign of Aquarius is their unwillingness to follow the beaten track. With advancement and progress on their minds, there can be an irreverence to old and outdated ways of thinking and doing things. Many Aquarians aim to free themselves of personal and social conditioning. Although open to change in theory, Aquarians can be surprisingly stubborn. Their idealism runs strong, but they can be very fixed in their opinions. Often a bit aloof and even standoffish, Aquarians nonetheless are usually well-liked. They are curious and observant, and tolerant in a broad sense. Prejudice and bias is offensive to the typical Aquarius. Aquarians are generally very clever, witty, and intellectual. They value progress and frankness. It’s difficult to throw Aquarians for a loop–they’re generally on top of things. There is a bit of reformer in Aquarius. They’ll try to get you to see through superficiality, and encourage you to be open and forthright. “Be true to yourself” and “Don’t follow the crowd” are mottos we easily associate with this sign. Aquarians need space and value personal freedom. Any attempt to box them in will likely fail. They’ll happily return the favor; and they will treat people from all walks of life as equals. Equality and fairness are hallmarks of the sign. If you’re quirky and “different”, all the better. Short description: She is independent, autonomous, and has progressive ideas. Weaknesses: an unusual, rebellious and revolutionary spirit. Sun in I You identify strongly with the image you present to others. You make an impression on others – you have “presence” – and you know it. You are self-conscious, although you may prefer to project a strong image. You will feel at your best when you make a mark on the world, but avoid obsessing over what others think of you. Accept that you need to be a leader or an innovator, and go for it, but be careful not to be overbearing with others. Forceful personality. Her desire for self-development leads to success and this is reflected in her career. -233 Opposition Sun - Moon You have an internal struggle between your needs and your wants. You can lack focus and be indecisive as a result. Your ability to be objective is both an asset and a liability, simply because when you decide on one route, you are pulled in another direction at the same time. Something tugs at you, and you begin to question your stance. “But what if…” and “on the other hand…” are statements you can’t help but make, and that might plague you. You are always aware of the opposing point of view and the other side of the coin. 58 Trine Sun - Jupiter Endowed with generosity and friendliness, in some ways you appear to be lucky in life. You attract good things with a positive frame of mind and a charitable disposition. Rarely entirely “down and out”, you are usually well-received, helpful, and well-informed. You may enjoy travel and have a special affection for foreign places and people. You’re generally not very competitive, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, you are usually well-liked. You are usually good-hearted, possessing strong morals and much faith in life and in people. You prefer to find the good in situations and in people. You don’t have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as you generally believe in order, equality, and the law. You usually make good on your promises, and the sincerity you exude can be trusted. Looking on the bright side is your forte–people can turn to you for a pleasing dose of faith and optimism. You are quick to chuckle and can’t resist any appeal to your sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious. 133 Conjunction Sun - Saturn It is easy and natural for you to accept responsibilities, to lead a rather ordered life, and to apply caution in your financial and business dealings. You rarely jump to conclusions or take uneducated risks. You have a certain amount of patience and enough self-discipline to slowly but surely achieve what you set out to do. Although somewhat undemonstrative, you are generally loyal and responsible people to those you care about. You take your time in most endeavors and generally use a step-by-step approach to most projects–but you steadily reach your goals. You are naturally trustworthy, and you don’t have much patience for those who don’t show respect for others, who take foolish risks, and who lead disorganized lives. The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. Moon in Leo Depending on other positions in the chart, Moon in Leo people are not necessarily outgoing. When they feel comfortable, they do like being the center of attention. That is, they like being in the “spotlight” in the comfort of their own homes and with family and friends. They enjoy entertaining others, and often take on the role of comic. Lunar Leos often feel a need to organize, and even control, their families and friends. They have an inner mission to set things right, and generally like to oversee the goings-on in their little circle. This is a rather creative position of the Moon. At the very least, Moon in Leo people want to create and entertain. They can be rather lazy at times, and a little bossy too. Generally, though, they have a deep need to treat others fairly and justly. Lunar Leos require lots and lots of love and care in order to function well in the world. When they feel slighted, these people can be dramatic in their emotional displays. When their pride has been hurt, they are given to big scenes and sulking. This rarely happens in public, however. Lunar Leos are far too concerned about their image to make splashy scenes outside the comfort of their own homes. In public, they prefer to take things in dignified ways. At home, however, they’re given to big displays of emotional drama. These scenes generally don’t last too long, however. Lunar Leos are often personally popular folk who are valued for their integrity and strong sense of justice. Generally, it is easy to reason with a Lunar Lion. Appealing to their well-developed sense of fairness usually works well. Short description: She is brave and knows how to take risks, has the courage of her convictions, is honest , imposing and sharp. She has a great sense of, and respect for, justice. Organizational sense. Selectivity in friends, but is not overly influenced by them. Taste for splendor. Weaknesses: changing and numerous affections. Emotionally demanding and proud. Brooding when attention is not forthcoming. Moon in VII Marriage is very important for her, for better or for worse. Cannot stand being alone. Likes business relationships, especially partnerships. You are drawn to partnerships and prefer to have a companion for emotional support. You are not a person who would happily take in a movie by yourself, or dine alone, for example. A partner awakens feelings in you that you may never know you had, and you seem to need a partner to learn about your own needs and feelings. Emotional fulfillment is sought through relationships, but you may have many relationships one after another, each time believing that this is “the one”. Taking time between relationships is something that is hard for you to do, but quite necessary, as you tend to jump into relationships out of fear of being alone. You are very adaptable to others’ needs, and usually quite likeable as a result. Be careful that you don’t become overly dependent on a partner, or assume that a partner is going to treat you the same way as you do them. 141 Sextile Moon - Jupiter She is generally pleasantly composed, due to an inner sense of harmony and emotional balance. She is optimistic–and realistically so, most of the time–which contributes to her overall “luck”. She is able to get a real perspective on emotional matters that not only benefits her outlook, she is able to offer support to others when needed. Broad-mindedness is a wonderful characteristic. Quick to find humor in situations, she is generally warm and fun to be around. Deep down, she believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps her to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of her best qualities is tolerance. Usually, she doesn’t take life too seriously in the sense that she believes in having a bit of fun. her hunches are more often than not bang-on. She is frank, honest, optimistic and generous. She likes good cooking, her comforts. Her friendships are sincere. She is a worker and knows how to surround herself with the right people: She is appreciated at work. -236 Opposition Moon - Saturn When Moon is in hard aspect to Saturn in the natal chart, natives need to learn to trust others more. Fear keeps them from fully enjoying personal relationships, and fear is behind the occasional rigidity that they express. When they let themselves receive nurture or care from others, an inner voice cautions them that it might not be sincere, long-lasting, or enough! There can be some reluctance about becoming a parent, but once taken on, these people don’t take their responsibility lightly. Emotional reticence is the main theme of these aspects. Many people with this aspect had a lot of conditions placed on the love they received in early childhood. They tend to expect the same later in life. With hard Saturn aspects, individuals are often plagued with doubts, not only about the self but about what to expect from life itself. The problem is that expecting difficulties or negative situations creates an aura around them that perpetuates the problem. They must work hard at positive thinking and expecting more from life. Ironically, many people with hard Saturn aspects can be quite sarcastic, skeptical, and rigid in manner. This is essentially a defense mechanism designed to protect themselves from harshness in the world. It is extremely likely that they feel neglected because they perceive it in the first place, and later expect it, to be the case. There’s a vicious circle going on here that can only be broken when the patterns created by negative conditioning are broken. Adjusting one’s perceptions and expectations is the key to breaking out of these negative patterns. Otherwise, natives of hard Moon-Saturn aspects will live life feeling left out–attracting circumstances that perpetuate a feeling of deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Short description: She has changeable moods, a reserved character, is stubborn and lacks assurance. Her relationship with her mother may have been difficult, she has may have had considerable family problems. This is the standard aspect for children who are abandoned or who lacked maternal love. Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit. Mercury in Aquarius Not necessarily loud or flamboyant, but she often has a quiet way of stirring others up. Delights in exposing what she deems biases in others’ way of thinking. Very quick to contradict others, and to offer a different perspective, she enjoys intellectual debates. Amazing powers of observation, and a quirky way of looking at the world. Humorous and interesting. Loves practical jokes and raising eyebrows. Mercury in II Intelligence geared towards ways of making money, becoming rich. All methods are good, sometimes she is on the borderline of honesty. You have a very practical mind and intelligence, seeing the obvious, most logical answer to any predicament often before others. You don’t like to be put on the spot or pushed into talking or coming to a conclusion. Studies are similar–you need to work at your own steady pace. You can be quite one-track minded at times, not very happy with multi-tasking, and often quite fixed in your opinions. Sensual stimuli is more relevant to you than abstract concepts. 140 Conjunction Mercury - Saturn She is or strives to be mentally organized. She is able to study, concentrate, and focus, and often has the patience to work towards a goal slowly but surely. She takes time to get communications “just so” and tends to prefer step by step directions. Respects tradition and rules. -62 Square Mercury - Pluto She may be impatient. She likes contradiction. Her arguments are noisy and animated. You are very incisive and aggressive with your opinions. You have a tendency towards fanaticism and often want to impose your ideas on others, sometimes in a subtle manner and sometimes more imperatively. You will find yourself attracted by the occult and other mysteries but it is recommended that you avoid those subjects because they can generate certain fixations or obsessiveness. You must learn to control your impatience and impulsiveness, to think things over before speaking, and to respect the weaknesses of others. Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others. Venus in Aries Venus in Aries people flirt by being up-front, direct, and even daring. They try to win you over by expressing how enterprising and independent they are. Their style of expressing love can be maddeningly “me”-centered, but the right person for them will find this approach charming. People get turned on by Venus in Aries’ aura of innocent charm, even when they are being childish and impatient. Venus in Aries men and women behave in a childlike, fun-loving manner in love. They are turned on by energy and activity. Turn-offs include a relationship that is considered stuffy or too “mature”, vagueness, and beating around the bush. In love, Venus in Aries people are hopelessly addicted to the conquest. In order for a relationship to remain fresh and new for them, they require plenty of stimulation. Pleasing Venus in Aries involves fueling their need for action. Be direct, open, and honest with them – they won’t much like game-playing or evasiveness, unless it is in the complete spirit of fun. Feed their need for spontaneity, and appreciate their playfulness. Understand their desire for the relationship to remain young and fresh. Aries likes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is gentle Pisces) – let them, at least most of the time. Indulge them their many whims, and understand that they thrive on competition, even when they’re competing with you! Short description: Wants to take the lead in love, loves the conquest, can be a spendthrift with money, is given to making impulsive purchases, likes to keep things exciting in love. Very ardent. Spontaneous and charming in her direct and straightforward approach in love. Venus in III Likes everything that is beautiful, likes decorum. Outstanding intelligence. She may work in a trade linked to beauty, fashion. Numerous select friends. You are verbally expressive, diplomatic, and aim to be tactful. You easily win others over with your words, whether it’s because of a likeable facility with language, a beautiful voice, or a diplomatic use of words. You readily give out compliments. Some of you might use flattery to your own benefit at the risk of being ingenuine. You are generally a very good mediator, aiming to settle arguments quickly and restoring at least temporary peace. You have a mischievous side, however, and your desire to be tactful and polite with others doesn’t always succeed. Some of you might engage in a lot of mind games, and others might eventually find out that you don’t always mean what you say or say what you mean! You value mental stimulation and frequent changes of scenery in your love relationships. -5 Square Venus - Mars While she is passionate, she likes carnal desires and voluptuousness above all. She may go to excess and is often unsatisfied. Whether it’s an infatuation or a full-blown love affair, relationships get you out of bed in the morning. You are passionate and seem to need an active romantic and sexual life to drive you. Often, this area of life is somewhat challenging, especially in youth. As much as you want to be involved in a passionate affair, your timing can be off and/or it’s difficult to find a relationship that mirrors your strong desires and expectations. Especially when you are young, there can be a real awkwardness with your social skills–this may or may not be apparent to others. You are highly creative and generally are driven to express that creativity. Your passion for romance is often channeled into your creative output. For example, challenges in relationships may be a large part of the drive behind your poetry, music, or other art. Love and hate are very much mixed together for you. You are prone to love-hate relationships with others, likely because your passions are such that the old saying “there’s a fine line between love and hate” rings especially true for you. Some level of competitiveness, anger, frustration, or angst is present in your romantic relationships. Although you are quick to anger, you are generally just as quick to forget about it. \r\nMars represents the desire for action and physical energy. Mars in Cancer This position inclines toward passive-aggressiveness. These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act. As a result, they can appear rather slow at times. Their motto is “The best offence is defense”. They may appear weak to some, but they can be very strong. Their strength lies in their tenaciousness. Their sex drive can be very tied up with emotional need. At their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them. The protective nature of Cancer is best expressed when Mars in Cancer natives are turning the energy outward – when they are being the protectors of others. Turning it inwards is when there are problems. They must avoid over-sensitivity and self-protection when it comes to sex. Some Mars in Cancer people are especially turned on by the thought of creating a baby. These people are threatened by indifference. They can be argumentative and manipulative. Their energy levels are variable, and they can appear to move rather slowly. They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered. With reassurance and confidence, these natives are protective, helpful, and dependable in the long haul. They prefer to handle situations peacefully and humanely. Mars in VI She works with great pleasure and flat out but meets with problems at work, where professional rivalry blocks her ideas and enjoyment. You tend to work hard, sometimes to the point of exhaustion! You put a lot of energy into your work, and would do best working for yourself or for someone else but independently, as you can quickly become impatient if other members of a team are not working as fast as you. You are also easily upset with procrastination. You can be very skilled at organizing and re-organizing, sorting, classifying, and analyzing. You put a lot of energy into any job you do, and you can easily become riled up or defensive if someone criticizes or intrudes upon the work that you do. -5 Square Mars - Jupiter She refuses to accept any guidance. She lacks forethought, acts impulsively and sometimes imprudently, which can cause problems. She wants everything yesterday and uses whatever means necessary to achieve her objectives, even if they are dishonest or not very commendable. Her emotional life is fraught with quarrels and sometimes violent conflicts. Jupiter represents expansion and grace. Jupiter in Libra She attracts the most good fortune when she is fair-minded, treats others with equality, is bending without being a doormat, is gracious, and uses her talents at promoting and mediating. Values people and relationships, and might succeed best in partnership. Relating as equals is important to you. The arts, architecture, law, math, mediating, and politics are possible avenues for success. Use of charm and grace to reach goals. Jupiter in IX Deeply intelligent, she is tolerant and sincere. Professional success can happen abroad or in connection with foreign countries. Faraway voyages are profitable. 33 Trine Jupiter - Saturn She is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. Her judgment is good and she thinks things over. She pursues her objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. She is upright and respects the law. -10 Square Jupiter - Uranus She is too independent and her liberty is all-important. She lacks diplomacy, and her extravagance is shocking. She likes verbal battles and espouses extremist ideas in order to shock her companions. She has a number of internal tensions. -10 Square Jupiter - Neptune She is easily influenced. She is a dreamer, who lets herself be seduced by fine words, which are not always sincere. She does not see wickedness and is often fooled by people. Saturn represents contraction and effort. Saturn in Aquarius Long-term studies and, if family circumstances do not allow this, she will teach herself. She is serious and methodical in work. Likes to visit the elderly and intellectuals, who both enrich her mind. Weaknesses: bad luck, adversity, problems and disappointed hopes. Saturn in I She can be self-conscious in new situations, especially when young. Her manner is somewhat cautious and guarded. First reactions to new ideas or plans are reticent and somewhat negative, but these are only first reactions. Can be methodical, patient, somewhat distrustful, polite. She speaks little at first and does not waste energy unnecessarily. She has a good memory and sense of organization, likes to do things well. She is never slapdash and has a strong sense of responsibility. -22 Square Saturn - Pluto She is not open to others’ ideas, especially if they are free-thinking. She is an egoist and has a narrow mind. Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty. Uranus in Capricorn A great battler. She has so much power, that one thinks nothing can defeat her. Her mission in society, in the world means everything to her. Uranus in XII She has difficulty in adapting to the modern world, to new technology. She looks for a job in an isolated place. 198 Conjunction Uranus - Neptune 103 Conjunction Uranus - Ascendant She is always changing, is unstable. She is ready to innovate, to change everything. She is inventive. Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty. Neptune in Capricorn She is discerning, wise and sensible. Neptune in XII She likes isolation, a withdrawn life, dreams and meditation. She has little desire for action. 68 Conjunction Neptune - Ascendant She has strange relationships. She is easily influenced, very sensitive and emotional. Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination. Pluto in Scorpio Great sexual activity. 5 Sextile Pluto - Ascendant She has will-power and ambition, and likes to have her own way. House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life. Ascendant in Capricorn There’s a seriousness to Capricorn rising people that is unmistakable. Even when they’re joking around, it’s of the deadpan variety. In fact, plenty of very humorous people have Capricorn Ascendants. It’s all in the timing…and the fact that they don’t giggle before the joke is over. Capricorn Ascendant people project competence. They simply ooze it. They’re generally very image-conscious people–the clothes they wear and their manner are a big deal to them. They want to appear successful, and they generally succeed! Often the Ascendant persona is the one that was forced upon us by family conditioning. For example, parents may label their Libra Ascendant child the “nice” one; their Aries Ascendant child the “independent” one; and their Pisces Ascendant child is generally the space cadet of the family. We adopt these roles as familiar ones, and often carry them with us as our defense mechanisms, in some way or another, for the rest of our lives. In the case of Capricorn Ascendants, these were the children who were considered the responsible ones. Sometimes, it was they themselves who looked around them and felt the need to be the structured, dependable, and responsible members of the family. So, often, Capricorn rising people adopted a strong sense of tradition, family, and responsibility at a very young age. Capricorn rising people are generally big on family, and forever worry about security–for themselves and their dependents. They come across to others as hard-working, competent, and dependable people. What others may not see under that cool, even suave, exterior, is an inner struggle: they often ask themselves, “Am I doing enough?”, “Do I deserve all of this?”, “How can I make things better?” They worry a lot about the future. If success seemed to have come easy to these folks, it hasn’t. They just made it look that way with a patient, hard-working, driven personality. Some Capricorn rising people practice some form of self-denial. They know how to do away with the frivolous. Still, they’ll spend money on the clothes they really want (the ones with the right labels, that is), and other status symbols. Although they’re rarely showy, their quiet air of success is often a result of conscious effort. More often than not, Capricorn rising individuals are success stories. Their childhoods may have been difficult, but they slowly but surely turn their lives around. Saturn rules this Ascendant, and this generally means a kind of backwards way of living–as children, they are serious and bear a lot of responsibility; and as they grow up, they age beautifully, learning how to loosen up. House II is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions. House II in Aquarius Success in professional life won’t take place without the help of friends and protectors. While she might earn enormous amounts, she can lose as much if not even more. Best financial success through networking with others. Might succeed in business on the internet. Most profitable businesses may be unusual or innovative ones. Efforts should be made to better organize finances. House III is the area of social and intellectual learning. House III in Aries Straightforward in speech. Lively intelligence. She is ambitious. She is always ready for any initiative requiring change or novelty. Sometimes, this position suggests an only child, or competitiveness amongst siblings. House IV is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth. House IV in Taurus Makes a good mother. Likes to be at home, with the little family for company. Appreciates comfort, peace and quiet, and simple but good food!. Takes care of what she possesses wisely. House V is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling. House V in Gemini Likes to please: She can spend hours in the bathroom, preparing to go out, in the hope of meeting someone to dazzle. Likes interminable discussions with friends. House VI is the area of learning by material transaction. House VI in Gemini Good secretary, or equally good sales rep. Weak point: the nerves, sometimes also the lungs. House VII is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action. House VII in Cancer Marriage, a nice little family. The spouse will not always be easy to live with, a little too mad. House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul. House VIII in Leo Have regular check-ups on the heart and arteries. House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity. House IX in Libra Likes justice, honesty, loyalty. Make good lawyers. House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older House X in Scorpio Likes professions that involve a certain risk. Those in the police field are recommended. She likes to investigate. She is curious by nature, takes risks and fights to succeed. House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security. House XI in Sagittarius Loves above all travel, adventure and friends are often from abroad. House XII is the area of education and of emotion. House XII in Sagittarius Problems abroad, or with foreigners, or flight abroad, exile.