#for the record im going to see them in 2 weeks so its not like im a hashtag hater

[severants]

i see that poll tag thing going around and it's so funny how often deftones sextape is on those

[finnscozycove]

It’s hereeee!!!

First off. BIG THANKS to @infrequent-creator for helping me out with the script. They are so kind and nice and you should definitely check them out. Unless you are a minor. Stay away children stay away.

Next- If anyone saw my crash out yesterday no you didn’t 👀. but if the audio sounds weird that’s why i was freaking out and i kinda couldn’t handle re recording it again I was starting to feel really light headed so sorry if the audio sounds weird. I had already re recording it like 4 times i couldn’t do it again 😭😭

ALSO PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU LIKE MY CONTENT I LOVE FEEDBACK

THE SCRIPT WILL BE BELOW THE AUDIO.

SCRIPT:

Alastor: Luciferrrr!!!! Happy valentines dayyyy!

Lucifer: isnt that like 2 weeks from now ?

Alastor:… was it? Im not good with this stuff. i’ve never had a partner before you.

Lucifer: Yeah okay… *still thinks he's cute for trying*looks at stuff in his hands* Also, what are you carrying? What is all that stuff?

*Alastor hands lucifer a basket full of candy and what looks like feathers and a mini teddy bear*

Alastor: A gift , for you my dear. Happy Valentine's Day, Angel.

Lucifer: Oh! Candy, and a teddy bear! Look at its little horns, thank you darling. I love them.

Alastor: look at what they're resting on..

*lucifer looks deeper in gift bag*

Lucifer: oh! you used all these feathers as like plush to hold them! how creative!

Alastor: almost correct, your highness , the feathers are part of the gift. I noticed you've been leaving them around the hotel, and seeing them so much gave me an idea

Luci: An idea? What idea would that be?

Alastor: I thought your pretty feathers would be useful… Why don't you , go undress & lie down! arms above your head

Lucifer: I know the drill Bambi ~

*Luci lies in position and suddenly ropes would appear tieing his arms above his head*

Lucifer: Ooo~ alastor, how Kinky~

Alastor: oh hush, Im not here to doing anything that involves your deviant desires lucifer.

Lucifer: deviant desires? I have no idea what you're talking about *teasing/sexy tone*

Alastor chuckles: sure you don't darling. Now quit squirming and let me bind these delicate wrists of yours with this rope.

Lucifer, sighs in delight: mmm, it's soft. How considerate of you Bambi.

Alastor: anything for you, Angel.

Luci: so what's on the agenda today?

Alastor: I was thinking a little ... sensory play~

Lucifer *shudders in excitement*

Lucifer: sounds amazing~

Alastor: please lift your head so I can secure this~ *alastor lifts a blindfold into view*

Lucifer: a blindfold eh? Thats new... *he's still excited as Alastor slides it over his eyes*

Alastor: Well I have to keep some tricks up my sleeve~ get ready~

Lucifer : oh I'm so ready, BambiIIIEHEHEHE!

*he was started by the tickling sensation on his sides*

Lucifer: Wait wahahait alastohohor! *alastor's fingers started tickling up and down Lucifer's sides* Dohohonont ! I wasn't expectihihing thihiIHIS! *the king squeaks as his ribs start being plucked at like guitar strings*

Lucifer: A-Ahaha! Alastohohohor! Nohohononono! *Lucifer started squirming more and tugged at his wrists. would writhing against the ropes quickly realizing he cant get free*

Lucifer: W-what?! How did you get your- your hands on angelic- a-angelic rope!!! *he managed to get out through wild giggles*

Alastor: Turns out our ally Miss Carmine, she sells all kinds of angelic things not just weapons~

Lucifer was still squirming uncontrollably at the tickly touches that had now started in his armpits , causing his giggles to morph to laughter

Lucifer: Th-Thihis is so cruhuhuel!! *he whined through the laughter*

Alastor: Bold of you to assume that a few measles fingers is all I have in store for you, my sensitive angel~

*ruffling sounds as Alastor reaches into the bag of feathers to grab a large white feather*

*Lucifer totally unaware of what was about to befall him as he wiggled in the binds*

Lucifer: w-what else could there beEEEHEHEHE! AHAHA ALASTOHOHOR NOHOHO! I-It tickles so BAHAHAHAD! *the fallen Angel squealed as he felt his own prized feather going around & dipping into his belly button, driving him up the wall*

Alastor: I always liked tickling this little spot, who could ever believe such a small spot could be a big weakness for our king of pride. Not very proud now, are you your majesty?

*Alastor was being a little meaner than usual since he wanted Lucifer to feel extra vulnerable in this moment. He couldn't help himself.*

Lucifer: SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!! D-don't teahehese MEHEHHEHEHE! *his back arched and his toes clenched as he tried to fight the maddening feeling. The feather now slowing climbing the king's sternum up to his neck and ears. Flicking and teasing the tender vulnerable spots. Alastor's free hand reaching to gently hold his lover's head in place*

Lucifer: NOHOHOHOHO! ALASTOOHOHOR! Thihihis isn't fahahahhair!

Alastor: fair? Who said I was fair darling, I said I was tickling you till I was satisfied & im not stopping any sooner than that. So you're just going to have to deal with it my love. *the radio demon reaches to grab another feather. Abandoning the king's ears, Alastor turns on the bed to face Lucifer's bare feet. One clawed hand grabbing the king's ankle as he held the feathers in an upside down V shape. The feathers began sawing between Lucifer's adorable little hoof toes. The black nails clenching on contact as he let out a yelp of ticklish surprise, soon replaced by high pitch belly laughter.

Lucifer : D-DARLIHIHIHING PLEHEHHEEASE N-NOHOHOT THEHEERE!

Yes my dear, there, these cute little hoovsies were just dying for my attention, I couldn't deprive them any longer~

Lucifer; tryinf not to die: N-NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!! *wheezing and cackling* MERCY MEHEHERCYYY!

*Alastor waited about another 15 seconds before stopping, but removed the feathers from his wiggling hooves*

*lucifer is panting & wheezing as his chest heaves*

Lucifer: you're... s-so .... mean... *the king whined in tiredness*

Alastor chuckled, lifting the blind fold to kiss his love on the cheek. Staring into his livers eyes.

Alastor: You look beautiful like this, my love. Flushed face, wet eyes, tickle drunk smile stuck on your face. I adore you like this. *A hand holds Luficer's cheek. Once.. *kiss sound* twice... *kiss kiss sound*, a couple more kiss sounds, making Lucifer giggle softly*

Lucifer: s-shut uhup, you just like to bully me.

Alastor: perhaps, but for now, we rest. Let me release you.. *fiddling with the blessed ties. Once freed, Lucifer wraps his arms around his partner*

Lucifer: it wasn't.. so bad you know. I had a long day so that actually helped me feel a little better.

Alastor: you think I couldn't tell ? Why do you think I did all this?

Lucifer, chuckles: you're ridiculous

Alastor: love you too, my dear Luci.

[hunterofartemis7]

Pt.14

Bruce and Selena: *steps out to control the crowd of reporters and photographers*

Reporters: *yelling a million and a half questions at them as soon as they step out*

Photographers: *getting way to close for comfort trying to get the best pictures*

Raven:…..*clings to Damian*

Damian: *holds her hand* breath Beloved.

Jason, Dick and Tim: *walks outside with Bruce and Selina*

Jason: *covering his eyes from all the camera flashes*

Tim: fuck there wasn’t this many people here when B and cat mom got engaged

Dick: tell me about it

Jason: *whistles loudly* *yells* Yo!! If you assholes wanna actually talk to Rach and Damian, back the fuck up and calm the fuck down!!

Paparazzi: *shocked by his language but backs up a bit*

Selina:😑

Jason: what?

Selina: language!

Jason: hey it was effective

Selina: 🙄

Jason: *turns and waves for Raven and Damian to come out*

Damian: ready Beloved?

Raven: *nods*

Damian: *holds her hand and walks out with her behind him*

Raven: *clings to Damian’s arm and stays behind him*

Paparazzi: *immediately swarms them, yelling questions at them*

Dick, Jason, and Tim: *gets in between them*

Damian: *pushes Raven fully behind him*

Jason: *pulls his gun out and shots up at the sky* I SAID BACK THE FUCK UP!!!

Paparazzi: *backs up in fear*

Jason: better. Little D, the floor is yours

Bruce:😑

Jason: oh get over it. *steps to the side*

Damian: thank you Todd. *turns back to the crowd* If you all have calmed down enough to be civilized, then me and my beloved can answer you questions one at a time; no need to scream at us, understand?

Crowd: *nods*

Damian: good. *points at one reporter* you first

Reporter 1: is it true that you’re pregnant?

Raven: yes it is

Reporter 2: how far along are you?

Raven: 6 weeks

Reporter 3: was this planned?

Damian: no, but we’re excited and happy none the less. *puts his arm around Raven*

Raven: *smiles*

Reporter 4: so you have no plans to abort the baby?

Raven: ofc not. I love my baby and would never get rid of it

Reporter 5: did you only sleep with Damian for his money?

Raven: No!

Damian: *slaps the reporter* anymore questions like that and you will all be heading to the hospital!

Reporters:👀

Reporter 2: how long have you two been together?

Raven: 3 years.

Reporter 6: do you two still plan to get married or is the wedding on a halt?

Raven: we still want to get married…as for the wedding….um..

Damian: that is to be determined.

Reporter 1: what’s the baby’s sex?

Raven: it’s too early to tell.

Reporter 1: Will its gender be announced when you find out?

Raven: umm….im not sure yet

Reporter 5: will the baby be a bastard o—*gets punched in the face by Damian and KO*

Damian: why did I just say jackass!

Crowd: *backs away*

Damian: anyone else?

Reporter 4: how did your family react to the baby? Seeing as it’s the first grandchild

Jason: oh we about shit ourselves when we heard. B actually cried

Bruce: I did not😑

Tim: you did too

Paparazzi: awwwww

Reporter 6: is the baby’s name going to be announced?

Damian: no

Reporter 6: and why not?

Damian: because we have no obligation to announce our baby’s name till it’s birth

Reporter 2: oh! Do you plan to take the easy way out?

Raven: easy way out?

Reporter 2; a c-section. Do you plan to have a c-section or natural birth?

Reporter 3: and will the birth be recorded and posted?

Raven: *getting uncomfortable* umm…I haven’t decided yet…I still have a ways to go but I don’t see a c-section as “the easy way out.” And no…we’re not going to post a video of me giving birth…cause that’s weird

Damian: *seeings she’s getting uncomfortable* okay this interview is over. You people need to leave; now!

Reporter 6: last question! *turns to raven* is Damian forcing you to keep the baby?

Raven: No! Absolutely not! It’s my decision to keep it!

Damian: *slaps the reporter* LEAVE! ALL OF YOU! NOW!!

Jason: *shoots at the sky again* get!

Paparazzi: *runs away in fear*

Bruce: was that necessary?

Jason: yes

Damian: yes

Bruce:🙄

Selina: *sighs* *turns to raven* You okay dear?

Raven: yeah….*wipes the tears away from her eyes*

Damian: *puts an arm around her* come on, let’s get you inside. You’ve had enough to deal with today. *takes her inside*

Raven: *follows him inside* *hugging her belly* Damian…

Damian: yeah?

Raven: is this going to be a normal thing now?

Damian: not if I have anything to say about it *puts his hand on her belly* I’m not letting some fucking noisy assholes ruin this for you.

Raven: thank you

[kumezyzo]

pls more bf!sapnap

since its thundering louder than a motherfuck (and it woke me up at 2:30 am... its 3:40 now... i finished writing) I'll give you more bf!sapnap literally only this person asked for it [ilysm for that btw] lol.

Also, if you want (cause you didnt really give me parameters for this 😭), i can make a streamer!gf version because that is how obsessed i am with this man.... enjoy! or dont.... :)

bf!sapnap that would love to flirt with you as if you two arent together and completely in love

"okay, if i win this next round of valorant, i get to go on a date with you."

"well, i dont know if my boyfriend would be alright with that..."

"im sure he wouldnt mind, peaches."

bf!sapnap that can rub it in george and dream's face that he got a attractive significant other before either of them.

bf!sapnap that loves when you bicker with george or dream because it feels like you've really been accepted by his friends 🥺

bf!sapnap that holds your thigh whenever (but usually while streaming or recording with you) because he just wants comfort in you being there sometimes. and 10 out of 10 times, hes absent-mindedly kneading at the skin under his hand

bf!sapnap who notably starts to dial down his "gross" jokes in videos becayse youre in the room and he doesnt want you to think hes gross or weird. but he eventually gets called out for it.

"wait, sapnap, are you alone right now?"

"....no... why, dream?"

"omg he's been quiet this whole time cause hes trying to look better for his-"

"SHUT UP NO IM NOT-"

bf!sapnap who loves it when you just call him nick. and tbh sometimes cringes if you call him sapnap.

bf!sapnap the gets that bright goofy smile when he sees you for the first time in a while.

i.e. when he came back from his trip to Antarctica lol, when he came back from england, or even when its been a long week and he hadnt been able to see you in days.

bf!sapanp that gets so flustered but loves the attention when you two are cuddling, facing eachother and youre just admiring his pretty (green?) eyes and subconsciously running your fingers over his stubble gently.

also if you could give me feedback or even send in more asks, i would greatly appreciate it 🥺 it keeps me motivated to write more often :) -Nony

[thefrontofmymind]

Unknown (matty healy x reader)*

WARNINGS: THIS IS SMUT, IF I FIND OUT A MINOR READS THIS IM TELLING UR PARENTS

a/n: this is a part 2 to all things end, this one is based off of the song unknown by hozier. listen to it, it's such a good song

You spent months living your life before you let yourself think about him again. You were invited to a dinner party at the Hann’s, it would’ve been weird if he wasn’t invited. You were thinking of it as something of a preemptive strike against yourself–finally thinking through and addressing your relationship with Matty. 

It’d been easy so far, he’d been away on tour so things in your flat were like they always were, apart from the day after you knew they’d all gotten back when George showed up to your flat, asking for some of his things. You let him take most of Matty’s things, from a list you saw he was reading off of from a text on his phone–a guitar he particularly loved, some of his clothes he didn’t pack for tour, and his stack of full notebooks he’d compiled over the years. He let you keep all the records housed in a floor-to-ceiling shelf in your living room. You knew there were some especially rare ones in the collection, ones you knew he tracked down after years and years of looking.

You decided the best way to really digest everything you’d hid away in a locked-up cupboard in your mind was to write a letter. You didn’t go into it thinking you’d ever give it to him, but you just wanted to write down all the things you wish you could say to him, so you could start again with a clean slate of sorts.

Dear Matty,

To start out this letter, I should tell you that, even now, I think I’ll always love you. Of course you knew this from our last proper conversation, but it’s still true now over 2 months later. We did so much together, you’ll always have a piece of my heart, and I hope mine your’s.

I try not to think about you when I see the ashtray I made for you during that week of quarantine when I got really into pottery. It still sits at its home on the window sill of the bathroom. I try not to turn my head too quickly when I’m out in public and I hear a Northern man speaking behind me. I don’t think I can ever watch True Romance again without thinking about my favourite song, I don’t think I could listen to Fugazi again without thinking of that goddamn t-shirt you wore until it was covered in holes.

I never said it enough, but I’m still so proud of you. For everything. You are a true image of dreams being accomplished, you’re basically a legend in the making. I know you never liked me inflating your ego too much, but I hope you’ll take this compliment at least this once.

This could be misconstrued as a little selfish, but I hope you’re hurting as much as I have been. I hope you struggle to think of me, I hope you reminisce on the good times and dwell on the tough times. I don’t know where you’re staying at the moment, I’m still getting all your mail so you mightn’t have gotten a new place yet, so you’re probably staying with George or someone, but I hope there’s things that remind you of me. Like those cufflinks I bought you for the first of your birthdays we spent together or when you see a movie on Netflix you know I love.

I hope that when we see each other again, there’s not a shred of any contempt in my heart. We don’t have to be friends, but it would kill me if we couldn’t even speak.

Love From Me

As you folded it and slid it into an envelope you felt so much lighter. And with it placed at the bottom of the drawer of your nightstand, you felt like you could breathe freely–for the first time in months.

Now you just had to face him. A task easier said than done, even with your previous exercise, it was a bandaid that made the pain bearable.

The evening of the dinner, you made sure to look your best. Not for Matty, no. You needed to show everyone else that you were fine–you were sure Matty had told them all about what happened, and the only one of his bandmates you’d spoken to was George. It was a shock when you got the text from Carly asking if you were free, you thought the end of your relationship with Matty would mean the end of your friendship with the people around him. Not to say you weren’t pleasantly surprised, just a little bit caught off guard.

You did a quick once-over before you headed out the door, and in the least self-conceited way, you’d never looked hotter. Your makeup was perfect, your hair had that fluffy, 90s supermodel look, and you were wearing a dress that fit you like a glove, in a colour that was the perfect compliment to your glowing skin.

On the drive there you were trying to psych yourself up. It wasn’t a big deal…You could do this. Even as you were walking towards the front door and you could hear laughs inside, you kept telling yourself you would be okay…even if you didn’t believe it all that much.

Only about a second after you pressed the doorbell, you were greeted with the sight of the one, the only Jamie Squire.

“How are you, kid?” He asked excitedly, giving you a friendly hug.

“Oh…You know,” you answered. Because he most certainly did know. You held up the mid-priced bottle of red wine you brought. “Where should this go?”

“Oh Carly’s in the kitchen,” he said.

You were glad to see Carly alone in the kitchen, checking on whatever meal was in the oven. She was just as dolled up as you–you were glad you wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb.

“Carls!” You called to her as you entered the kitchen.

She excitedly turned and gave you a hug, and gave you a compliment on your makeup. You were always grateful for the friendship between The 1975’s WAGs, past and present.

“So where’s the little rockstar?” You asked, you always loved spending time with Baby Hann, as one of his godparents you’d spent many days playing along with any game he could come up with–which were becoming more and more inventive as he got older.

“He’s at Ad’s parents’,” she answered, you frowned. “Hey, we need a night off every so often!”

“I know…I know…” You joked as you poured a glass from the bottle you brought. “Well then where’s your lovely husband? Need to tell him he should help out his wife.”

“He’s in the living room with everyone else…” She got quiet at the end of her sentence.

“Hey,” you said in a serious tone. “It’s okay, I can be around him.”

“You’re sure?”

“I think.” You laughed.

“If you say so…” She went back to preparing some kind of sauce on the stovetop, leaving you to wade into the unknown. 

You followed the noise of laughter and talking. You were greeted with the sight of George standing in front of everyone else, telling some insane story of his–and the band’s–youth. He trailed off mid-sentence when you entered, and his audience all whipped their heads around to look at the interruption.

Immediately everyone stood, each taking turns to greet you with a polite hug. Last was Matty, he hung back as everyone else said hello. You were so distracted you didn’t notice him at first, but when you did, it was clear how he’d been doing. His hair was longer than before, but not in a way that seemed like he was trying to grow it out, he had a light sprinkle of stubble, and the suit he wore–a staple for him recently–was wrinkled and it looked just a little too big on him.

You politely gave him a kiss on the cheek. You were engulfed in the scent of his cologne, a scent you didn’t realise you missed so dearly.

“How are you, love?” He asked. Love. Sometimes things don’t change, you thought.

“I’m alright,” you said with a bright facade. “Busy with work.”

“Good! Me too,” he answered.

Soon you were whisked away by whomever wanted to talk to you next, not even given an opportunity to say goodbye.

And that was how it went for most of the evening, you’d somehow end up standing next to each other, and someone would intervene. You couldn’t blame your friends, they just wanted to minimise the tension, but there was nothing that could be done about your heart shattering more and more every time you got a look at him.

It got later into the night, and soon the group began to get thinner and thinner. At just a few stragglers left, you saw Matty in the back garden, smoking a cigarette and scrolling through his phone. It was time.

Maybe it was the bottle of wine giving you the courage, but you knew you couldn’t end the night without a proper conversation with Matty, it would be just plain rude not to.

He didn’t react at hearing the clunk of your heels on the wooden deck he was sitting on, only when you sat down right next to him. All he did was offer you a drag of his cigarette which you took, like old times.

“I’m glad you came,” he said after you handed the ciggie back to him. “Here, I mean.”

“Me too…” You answered. “Was a fun night.”

“Did you see how pissed Charli was?” He smiled. “G had to carry her to the car.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” you laughed. “So…uh…where are you staying at the moment?”

“I’ve been bouncing around…” He answered. “Here for tonight.”

You nodded. He seemed quite content to keep scrolling on his phone in silence, but you didn’t want to quit.

“Do you think we could be friends?” You asked. “One day, I mean…eventually.”

Matty looked at you–properly–for the first time since you sat down. “I hope so. Just…”

“What?”

“I need to get over some stuff before that,” he said, nonchalantly, stubbing out his cigarette on the wood of the deck. “Like…I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love you. Like ever.”

Your heart sank at the admission. Everything you’d done to prepare yourself to face him calmly suddenly went out the window.

“Then what are we doing?”

He looked confused by your question.

“Why are we both miserable and just not doing anything about it? Why did we decide to split up if this was how it would end up?”

You were admittedly a bit drunker than you realised at first, you’d never have as much courage to talk to him about all this if you were completely sober.

“Because…” He started. “We run our course.”

“Who says?” You could feel something–Anger? Passion?–bubbling up. “Why should we suffer doing something that neither of us really want? Why were we so rash with all this?”

That last question was more to yourself, why did you give up so easily? You could see Matty’s eyes had a slight gloss to them, yours matched them.

“I don’t know.” Was all he said. And it was enough to solidify your decision of what you were about to do.

You began to lean forward, strong eye contact between the two of you. Matty met you in the middle and before you knew it you were engulfed in the warmth of his kiss, now letting the tears flow freely. It was some kind of cathartic release, all pent up over the last few months.

You didn’t break away until you were in desperate need of air. You both caught your breaths, just staring at each other. Eventually Matty let out a small chuckle.

“What?” You asked, confused but matching his grin.

“Was just thinking…” He started. “I’m supposed to stay here tonight…And I don’t know how I’m gonna sneak out to spend the night with you.”

You laughed. “Well that’s very presumptuous of you.”

“Well I know my audience…” He quipped. It was true, he knew the kind of person you were, as evident when you brought him back to your flat after your first proper date and silently begged him not to judge you–which he didn’t.

You both sat in silence for a little while, a comfortable silence. You didn’t want to go back inside, you felt safe in just Matty’s presence. But you were thinking, how would you explain this to everyone? Simple, you didn’t have to. As much as you loved the band and everyone that came along with them–your family–you did like being alone some of the time. And you thought it best to be alone right now.

“Well I’m going home,” you said, standing up.

“What do I do?” He asked.

“I don’t know! Come up with some excuse! Like you need another pack of fags or something!”

“Carly doesn’t like me smoking here! I had to sneak that one!” He pointed to the butt that was sitting crumbled on the deck next to him.

You sighed. “Just come up with something?”

He laughed. “I’ll try…”

You bid a farewell to the last of the group, and thanked the wonderful couple for hosting. As you turned the ignition of your car, a sense of excitement ran through you. You felt like a teenager again, sneaking around with a boy that made you giddy.

When you got back to your flat, you hurriedly tidied as best you could; making your bed, drying and putting away the dishes you’d left on the sink. When you finally had the time to get a look at yourself in the mirror and saw the sight before you, you quickly refreshed your makeup, fixing your smudged lipstick and creased concealer.

And then you waited on your sofa, after you poured yourself a glass of wine to keep your fearlessness going. Time ticked by ever so slowly. You must’ve checked your phone about two hundred times over the course of about 50 minutes. Eventually you heard a series of rapid knocks at your door, it could only be him. As soon as you opened the door his lips were on yours, feverish and rough.

“What took so long?” You asked in between kisses.

“Had to wait for everyone to leave…” Another kiss. “And then for Hann and Carly to go to bed.”

You just smiled. You had the adrenaline of a horny teenager.

In a flurry of clothes being stripped off between biting, hot kisses, you made your way to your bedroom. A task that was easy for Matty, purely for muscle memory.

There was no need to warm up to it. You straddled Matty and engulfed him in another kiss that almost made you melt.

“You want me to wear a condom?” He asked in a string of breaths, trying not to focus on the heat radiating from you on his thighs.

“I know I’m still clean, are you?”

“Of course.” Was his way of saying there’d been nobody else, An admission that made you beam.

You took gentle hold of his cock, running your thumb over the tip and eliciting a moan from him. And even more as you slowly lowered down on him. It felt comfortable, like home.

As you began to bounce, keeping firm eye contact with Matty, you could feel a bubble start to form in your abdomen. 

You felt your spine turn to jelly when Matty placed two firm fingers on your clit, massaging it in a familiar pattern that you hadn’t felt in months. You were rapidly approaching the edge.

“Ma–Baby…” You began to get out. “Al-almost there…”

“Do you want me on top?” He asked, you nodded.

In a flash, Matty readjusted you so you were laying on top of the mattress, lifting your hips up just a little so he could hit that spot, over and over and over again.

You were biting your lip to stop from letting out the most guttural moan, you just about drew blood. But you just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Once Matty had hit your g-spot one last time, you just unravelled underneath him. He kept thrusting as you ran out your high, but it wasn’t long before he was emptying into you and collapsing next to you.

In a hazy silence, you both were laid on your bed–yours and his–catching your breaths. After a few minutes of recovery, you sat up a little to look at Matty. He was staring at the ceiling with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on him.

“You alright there?” You asked, with a smile of your own.

“Yeah just…” He took a second to gather his thoughts. “Just really, really happy.”

“Me too.”

The rest of your evening–in a word–was still. You were sat in bed, now under the covers with legs intertwined, just talking. Talking about anything, everything, what you missed out on each other’s lives in the past couple months.

But there was one thing you wanted to tell him–needed to tell him. It was whispering at you from the drawer of your nightstand.

“I have something for you,” you said.

“Oh?” Matty asked with a smile as turned away from him to retrieve the envelope. “Is it a good something or a bad something?”

“Good, I think.” You handed him the envelope that had ‘to Matty’ scrawled on the front. “I wrote it a couple days ago, I just wanted to get all my feelings out.”

As he opened the envelope and quickly scanned the paper within, he got the memo. “A letter for me?”

“You don’t have to read it, or if you want to I can leave the room if that makes it easier…”

“No, you don’t have to…” He said with urgency. “Just sit with me?”

You nodded and shimmied closer to him as he read. It took a couple minutes, after he was done, he folded it back up and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. You finally looked at him, he had tears in his eyes.

“I…” He said shakily. “I love you so much. And I’m never letting you go again.”

[jj-maybanks-daughter]

reason to stay

she doesn't want to leave, she needs a reason to stay.

not proofread, I enjoy writing these bit they are not very good lol

i asked Jesus for a sign, and I today I haven't cried. its only two pm, but that beats yesterday, so i guess that's a reason to stay.

rafe always got into little arguments with her, making her sob like a baby. when he doesnt, it's great! its more often than not, however. he has treated her like a princess for the whole day so far, beating the record time of holding off till he blows he top off to 2 pm. we will have to see how long that's lasts

if I go find someone new, I lose your mom and your sister, too. you know how much i hate change, so i guess that's a reason to stay.

she loved rose and sarah, even if rose wasn't even rafes real mom, she still loved her as if she was. rose loved her right back, making her little deserts to take home over she came over to the house. she has a great relationship with sarah. they go shopping or out to dinner every week. she didnt want to lose Sarah and rose for breaking up with rafe.

and I ain't perfect either, we all make mistakes

she wasn't exactly the back away from a fight girl, so technically it could be fifty percent her fault, even if he started the arguments. she kept that in mind.

you don't try like you used to

rafe would bring her favorite flowers to her house during the talking stage. her house smelt like a garden with every bouquet. now she nearly gets a welcome at his front door. he acted like she was a given.

you don't look at me the same

he used to look deep into her eyes, hypnotize by her into his love. and it was genuine, not some act her put on to get the girl. now there's not a day gone by without eyerolls or eyebrow scrunches.

you used to say your sorry, now whiskeys what you blame

rafe had always made mistakes. but he would genuinally mean it when he apologized, showing up with a handwritten card and a box of choclates . now he blames it on the amount of work he had to get done. the "you know I was drunk" card was not unheard of in their relationship.

im a giver, but I've given all I can

she always had wanted to please rafe, giving him everything she had for him to give everything he had back. the love and care wasn't working safe anymore, she had given him anything, but not willing to give up everything for him.

we both know I ain't one to walk away, but I'm running out of reasons to stay.

she had never given up on past relationships, scared she wouldn't be able to find something better and she was just being dramatic. all of her exes she had were from them moving on from her. her reasons to stay were plummeting everyday, making her wonder how much more she could take.

song- reason to stay by Megan moroney

[dungeonclown]

Dungeonclown D20 “Rankings”

In quotes bc i love pretty much all of them and just had to post this for posterity and if one of my friends asks which season(s) to watch. [Bullet Points not in any particular order]

Level 0: did not finish

Pirates of Leviathan (lovely cast but i couldnt get all the way thru due to audio quality issues from being the first remotely recorded show.)

Shriek Week (gabe hicks)

Coffin Run (didn’t hold my interest)

Level 1: I Really Like This 😊

Fantasy High Sophomore Year (i love this season, literally the only downside was the livestream format. No!!)

Fantasy High (OG - we’ve come so far)

Tiny Heist (i mean, so darling, so funny. what so u expect)

Mice & Murder (better quality for remote but could tell the cast would have killed it in person since the zoom call situation is a big barrier)

Misfits & Magic (very cute and wholesome. Spaulding forever)

The Seven (needed more episodes to tell the story!!! wish they had sets and minis; covid problems)

Neverafter (love the themes and imagery, such a good study on storytelling.)

Dungeons & Drag Queens (fave sidequest character art and minis, mainly so impressed by brennans skill as a gm for new players/roleplayers)

Level 2: I Absolutely Love This 🤩

Fantasy High Junior Year (first show watched as it was airing, best FH yet, mary anne skuttle what more could u ask for)

Unsleeping City Part 2 (literally only downside is being filmed remotely. Breaks my heart they couldnt do this in person since this season is so special. BUT - got to see character art and illustrated backgrounds which was really fun)

A Crown of Candy (goddamnit brennan)

The Ravening War (goddamnit matt)

Mentopolis (superb cast w great chemistry and just lots of fun idk man i just think theyre neat)

Burrow’s End (fucking incredible storytelling by aabria, the cast, the crew w sets and minis and SHADOW PUPPETS goddamn.)

Never Stop Blowing Up (so stupid so joyful im just happy to be here)

Level 3: Has a Special Place In My Heart 🥰

Unsleeping City (some of my all time favorite characters and i just love how deeply these people love and understand New York City. Its the molecular structure of NYC in a show and its special)

Escape from the Bloodkeep (the first season i was like I Have To Stop Immediately And Share This With My Family. Every character is perfect. Every NPC is perfect. The minis and sets are darling. Every day i think about Hamhead and about muh hert)

A Court of Fey & Flowers (i just love them, i never thought id be invested in regency shit but if you put it in the feywild and add goblins and hobgoblins and owlbears and idiot bird people and shit im so down goddamn. Killed it. Absolutely killed it. Also gorgeous sets and costumes and props??? Gagged.)

Level 4: Rewired My Brain Chemistry 💀

A Starstruck Odyssey (screaming, crying, throwing up. The energy of these people being in person after covid creates a truly incredible maelstrom of dumb beautiful bozo shenanigans. id give a kidney for more ASO content. I Love This Show. And that it was based off of Starstruck is so fuckin special. This setting is amazing. also big barry syx is the exact bullseye of character im obsessed with that it makes me feral to think about him. I was going to joke that he was made in a lab specifically to appeal to my big beefy sex idiot himbo mercenary sensibilities but thats exactly his backstory and im mad about it)

[ilovechubbieguys]

hiii omg just found your account, so happy to see more tgc fanfiction ((ive read every single one of them at this point 😭)) soo could i request some nick/yumi fluff or smut? thank yououou 🦭

Omg same man i made this because i read them all so i might as well make my own lmao! Very happy to do one for yumi and nick!! (First smut sorry if its a little off lol) 🦭

Nick & yumi fluff/smut hcn!

-smut and fluff for each, gn! Reader. Use of f! Body parts. White=fluff red=smut

-----------------------♧♤------------------------

Nick

♧- love language is definitely quality time ex: just sitting and watching tv or going to the mall

♧- baby, love, and babe user for sure

♧- loves loves loves to hold your hand and in the car when he drives (which is almost always) he always has a hand on your thigh

♧- so sweet and caring. Very good listener and always listens to you rant about your day or any thing that ever slightly upset you

♧- if your a hyoer person he keeps you from doing dumb crap that youll regret later

♧- if your a calm person theres alot of cuddling he always wants to be big spoon

♧- about 5 months into your relationship he made a song for you and it was the cutest thing ever

♧- i feel like if your on a late night drive with him on an empty road he likes to speed just for the fun of it

♧- rolls down the windows and lets you stick your hand out while he speeds down an empty highway

----------------

♧- 6in and gurthy

♧- totally a service dom "i know baby" "your taking me so good baby"

♧- some days its slow "i missed you so much" thrusts with kisses all over your body

♧- other days its fast and rough "ive needed this all day" thrusts with hickeys and bite marks all over

♧- hes normally pretty soft and slow but if you decide to be a tease that day hes now holding back "fuck.. you just couldnt fuckin..wait could you..huh?"

♧- doggy style because he loves to see you bent over for him

♧- and missionary because he loves to be able to see your face and have access to every inch of you

♧- he secretly loves when you sneak under his desk while hes playing siege or cod and help him out

♧- " yumi i got a guy on m-me.." "you good man?" "Ya im good sorry i think i gonna get off i dont feel the best" "alr man get better"

♧- prepare to not be able to walk for alteast 2 weeks for that

---------------------------------------------------

Yumi

♤- late night smoke sessions are a common thing. You guys just talk about everything and anything or you enjog echother presence in silence

♤- Dance was made about you 😧

♤- babe kinda guy change my mind, baby when hes tired or comforting you

♤- loves sleeping in with you, when you try and either get up or get him up he pulls you back in "5 more minutes.."

♤- 5 minutes normally turms into atleast another hour

♤- convinced you to join LTLVC to motivate him to stay in or incase another pc incident happened

♤- loves when you watch him play video games or making a video

♤- his favorite thing is when you lay on his chest while he scrolls threw tiktok or insta

♤- if you guys where together when he made Lost he would always want you with him at the recording studio

♤- constantly asking what you thought

♤- they type of guy to always have his arm around your waist. Especially likes to come behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

-----------------------

♤- 7 in and curved

♤- pretty vanilla guy, but for a little lets pretend he's not as vanilla as he is 😮‍💨(still love you, man)

♤- riding and spooning are his fav positions for sure

♤- not very vocal, but a lot of grunting

♤- giving and receiving head is godly to him

♤- "fuck.." "god." "Your so fucking pretty"

♤- high sex goes crazy with him. He's still smoking a blunt while you ride him every now and then, taking a hit yourself

♤- holds you pretty rough if you're riding him, normally rutting his own hips into you, especially if you're close

♤- eats you out till your heavy breathing, tears are running down your face, you can't form real sentences, till your legs are shaking

♤- oh u need him now? Ur alreadt bent over the nearest counter, in the car? Why not. In the shower? Done. At the mall? Family bathroom it is.

♤- uses the fact hes alot bigger then you to him advantage, manhandling, and holding your hands down

---------------------------------------------------

For my first smut, i think it's ok lmao. Lmk what yall, though, what i should improve and change. Thanks for requesting! :3

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Mmm i *love* winter but...

Welcome to another life update woah...really just more of a minor vent about current situation. :]

...Sooo my house's furnace crapped out on us shortly before christmaaaas...and we haven't had heat since. My mom hired an older guy to come fix it a few days after christmas - he tried, it worked for a (singular) day and then crapped out again. .-. FIrst because my mom doesnt technically have the money to replace the furnace - Second, after my mom decided to use money she'll need very soon for the heat, we found out he's gotten sick. Like, cold/flu type sick but because he's elderly, he may have to get some extra help for it and will definitely need a good bit of recovery time before he can even come back to take another look (and subsequently order the part/parts/whole ass furnace needed so we can wait another weekish for it to arrive).

so basically

im not gonna have heat in home for another few weeks, probably.

in the middle of winter....in Northeastern US...and the kicker? the first night without heat was THE coldest day/night of the season so far in my state (to my knowledge), and we have since had multiple snowy days (not horribly, thank God. Only one day was bad enough i almost couldnt go to work) and most days have been sub freezing temps through the daytime. Thankfully, our home is not THAT cold, but we needed to get a space heater for the living room where our rabbits are to keep it from getting too cold for them there.

Thankfully also, my one brother already had a heated blanket, i have a heated pad (that i had abandoned until this incident and had not yet discared), and my little brother can sleep on the couch with the space heater. Its not much, its still uncomfortably cold ,but we are able to make-do for the time being.

It just makes focusing on much of anything difficult to keep up with ^^; and also makes staying asleep through the night hard. My heating pad shuts itself off after 2 hrs, so eventually that nice toasty goodness on my chest or legs fades into the unforgiving cold of "frick you for trying to be comfortable" so i keep waking up every couple of hours to turn the pad back on. I'll be in a pinch if this pad breaks from overuse or if i break it while asleep with it :']

Speaking of sleep though...

After seeing a video from a girl in TN i'd been watching clean her family's home and trying to make it liveable, share videos of her house having burned down completely after a leak caused an electrical fire - and after seeing news of the wildfires in CA;

I had a dream last night that while i was out with my family having a grand ol time (and feeling anxious over something i couldnt place), we came home in the evening to see the upper floor of the house in flames. .-. Which had me waking up both upset from watching my childhood home (and all my art history in it) burn with no funds to start over, and also paranoid that my house too might have a ticking time bomb problem.

So this, and other reasons, make sleep REALLY not my friend the last few weeks.

I dont know if i mentioned it here before, but im also 99% sure i have a condition called Reynaud's Syndrome because 1. My mom has it, 2. its hereditary, and 3. her symptoms for it line up with mine (she thought i was also officially diagnosed, but i looked at my records and i dont think so unless im looking in the wrong place). Regardless of diagnosis - My hands and feet are sensitive to temperature extremes, particularly cold, and this has caused extra stiffness in my fingers, pain in my hands at times unrelated to or exaggerating my other pain issues, and also has my digits lookin kinda zombie-ish at times (reynauds causes discoloration at times). Thankfully, I'm also not in a flare up for my reynauds, which has happened while at work before this, so my experience typically is mild and has been through this ordeal. I do experience worse symptoms while working and being exposed to the outside cold and wind in bits, then returning to room temp/warmer air and having the flip flop cause weirder symptoms, all of which are a side tangent.

I'm mostly doing fine otherwise tho

My boyfriend-not boyfriend (the boyfriend that broke up with me ish but we've still been friends and clearly were still interested and didnt really want to split) took me back up as his on new years, making a childhood dream come true (I had my first new years kiss tee hee). I'm also working on a project that may or may not be finished in time to submit it to a contest. I did actually buy a car a (few?) month(s?) ago now, i think i said that here before. Trying not to succumb to the feeling that I'll be stuck in a never ending cycle of everything more personal going on that i will not be traumadumping here while also preparing to celebrate and reflect on 4 years post choosing life over death very shortly (Yay me).

I've been learning to not care as much about the opinions of those around me. I've also been learning to get back in touch with my inner child because dammit she deserves a chance to live and breathe. I'm learning that writing poetry is something I want to explore more, and I'm learning that I actually do like drawing myself and I like to explore personal themes and inner struggles through drawing myself in new inventive ways (and making an experimental drawing out of it). I'm learning to be comfortable in my changing body while still understanding that some of my habits are unhealthy and, when I have the control to do so, should be altered. I'm learning to give myself grace, and through giving myself grace and room to breathe, its easier to do so for others.

Lots of good stuff with the bad ^^

but im gonna end my ramble here

Update's over, goodnight, everybody go home.

-Bee

[weirdhom0]

Project to read every zero day fanfic on AO3

So yall can read the title, as of like and hour ago ive made a project for myself to read every zd fic on ao3 bc I realized that ive read a concerning amount of caldre fics so I might aswell turn it into something. So far ive read the equivalent of 3 pages on ao3 as of now (60 fics) ive only made this an official thing an hour ago so I havent been smashing out reading every fic on a page back to back to back, ive just been going through pages and reading ones that catch my eye so all the ones ive already read are spread out across 25 pages of all zd fics on ao3, ill try to get through every one but idk bc theres no way im touching 'THE GREAT DILDX IN CALS ASSHXLE!!!' LIKE HELL NAH IM NOT READING THAT SHIIITTTT!!!😭😭😭 Or like 'the great tales of butter on andres belly' IM MOT FUCKING READING THAT you couldnt even play me to skim those fics honestly.

But basically every week or 2 im just gonna be reading a few of them and updating yall on my thoughts and feelings bc oh boy do I have some feelings about these fic, not updates and thoughts on all the individual ones ive read bc hell no im not gonna put that much work into this.

Progress so far + stand outs

like ive said, ive read 60 fics so far and honestly not many stand out to me this far mainly bc their just not very good like their either straight up poorly written smut or regular fics with not alot of flavour to them ofc no hate to the creators all power to them honestly if they have the drive and passion to put their work out there then thats great for them, I just dont have much to say on those types of fics. A MASSIVEEEE thing ive noticed with alot of the fics in the zd fandom are the concerning tags that get put on them like why in the fucking hell are there so many god damn non-con fics??? Its a weird amount that im less then pleased to see and really really dont wanna see more in the future id like to see college au's, coffee shop au's, record store au's (heheheh always gotta throw in a cherry waves reference) or more happy ending fics but idk ig thats just what I want. Kinda random but I just remembered seeing a young royals caldre au fic one time and I havent seen it since im really looking forward to it bc im pretty sure its 15 chapters long I LOOVVVEEE long fics but also I think a young royals caldre fic would be so fire?? Like I see the vision

STAND OUTS!!!!

Not alot of notable fics, just 3, but their 3 damn good fics that are absolute must reads.

(not in specific ranked order)

1. CHERRY WAVES!!!! Brief rundown: its a record store caldre au where cal is an employee and andre is a customer so its a strangers to lovers type thing its also a very music heavy fic (obviously) which I love bc I looovvee music especially the music thats mentioned like deftones, wallows, the smiths ect.

God I love this fic and anyone that's seen my posts will know how much I love it, cherry waves is definitely my favorite out of the 3 so far and I may have just some very low standards for zd fics but this was a genuinely enjoyable read for me. Its long (13 chapters), its a slow burn, its cute, and the best one for me is that its got me hooked into the story without the appeal of ungodly amounts of s3x!! Its good for me bc im literally asexual (the s3x repulsed kind) and borderline aromantic so yeah horray!! There is a chapter where cal and andre get freaky but its not even relevant to the story and the author wrote it to be skippable which bless his heart he is a saint for that, a true sweetheart ty miles💜 not much else to say without spoilers so go read it for yourself, I cant link nor can I tell yall the ao3 acc bc its an orphan acc now so just search up 'cherry waves' on ao3 and try to find it, theres only 8 pages so its not too hard to miss bc its written like 'Cherry waves [COMPLETED!!!]'

2. Televangelism by anonymous Brief rundown: religious cal, non believer andre. Cal is like super super super religious and is constantly talking about god and shit like that and andre is like 'yeah whatever'. Some build up later and boom caldre🎉🎉 its not alot of plot to explain without spoiling it so please go read it, its only one chapter so its not gonna take up that much time

THE WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. BEYOND AMAZING. IT GENUINELY HAD ME CLUTCHING MY PEARLS BC OF HOW GOOD THIS WAS OMGGGGGGGG!!!! initially I was interested in reading it bc I saw the name and it made me think of the song by ethel cain and I thought the fic might have something to do with her song since ik theres some zd ethel cain enjoyers out there. I was shocked by the beautiful wording in this fic, the way the author describes the way cal thinks is just MUAH CHEFS KISS and okay SPOILER PLEASE DONT READ THIS NEXT PART IF YOUR GONNA GO READ THIS FIC CAUSE IT RUINS THE WHOLE ENDING or maybe there were hints in the fic all along and my dumbass wasnt able to pick up on them🤦 the way the author writes the caldre freaky time at the end made it sound like heaven (no pun intended) like it really made me think 'damn I need to get freaky with my homies cause holy shit this is making say gex sound so good rn'. At first when I was reading the end i didnt realize freaky time was happening until a little later then I should have realized um mb gays im too asexual for this shit!!😅😅 But also the way the author writes cals thoughts about the gay freaky time is gorgeous??!! Ugh I love when people write freaky time in a poetic manner that makes it sound like your being banged by an angel and its blasing you with radiant godly energy rather then me reading the words 'yeah baby you like that?' and skimming over the paragraph until I see the word 'came' so ik its over. Other then the freaktastic freaky time, the whole fic is written magnificently and I really love how they write religious characters it was truly enthralling 10000000000/10 would recommend its been a bit since I read it so I might be meatriding off my memory but idk im writing this at 1 im too tired to read it again.

The lucky last, 3. FBI's most wanted by gaygurobian Brief rundown: cal and andre go through with the shxxting (god fucking damnit💀) and cals about to khs when andre is like 'lets escape I have a plan' so they escape from the police and are now on the run from the cops. Caldre caldre caldre🎉🎉 its barely toxic well i mean a little but I dont think having a argument with your bf is toxic. Cal is also transmasc if that adds anything but not really.

THIS FIIICCCCC GOD ITS SOO GOOOOOOOOODDD idk if this was the first zd fic ive ever read or if it was the first GOOD zd fic ive ever read either way it was an og fic for me and the most memorable aswell. I remember so clearly the day I read it and how invested i was in this shit it was crazyyyyy, the writing is amazing and the author could really go places with how talented they are at story telling it was just wow wow wow im speechless. Im being so real when I say I like this cal and andre more then cal and andre in the movie bc ik they both did the same insane act of shxxting up their school but the fic really makes cal and andre more likable and makes them feel like people in a way that I didnt see them in the movie. I dont really sympathize with the cal and andre from the movie and I lowkey dislike them bc ik they probably stunk and were completely dicks, but cal and andre from this fic?? Bro those are my homies they are gannnggggg their genuinely so much more likable in the fic which I mean its a fic yeah ofc their gonna seem more likable especially when they are in the hands of a talented author that knows how to expand on a character even if that character has little to none backstory or atleast not much to work off of to make them likeable as people😮‍💨 thsi fic is written so well that my ass stayed for the freaky time like that shit wasnt even that bad and was actually written well enough to where my brain wont vomit from cringe it really opened my eyes up to well written freaky time AND its perfectly intergraded into the story like its eased into it and it doesnt just come out of nowhere which im happy about. THE END OF THE FIC IS CRAZY THO I WAS SAT IN MY ROOM FOR 10 MINUTES IN SILENCE AFTER FINISHING IT MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR AND I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES!!! But yeah this fic is a classic in my eyes the whole fic is truly magnificent its 3 chapters of bliss bro its so so so good, the author is talented as FUCK and has a few other zd fics that ive read but just cant remember but ik they were amazing I just know it.

Thats it hopefully I can get out an update tomorrow this is gonna be one hell of a project thats gonna really hurt my eyes and my soul

[isathefantastic]

i'm sure some of you have seen these posts made by the user "vampyrdiariez"

i am the ex that she is referring to, and im going to explain my side of the story as best i can.

on november 2nd, 2024, oliver and i had gotten together after a date to the mall. everything was going great, and we had stayed together until january.

about 2 weeks after we had gotten together, i had a really bad relapse and i had gotten sent to the mental hospital. during this time, i had witnessed a group of girls give eachother hickeys, finger eachother, etc. i avoided it as best as i could, and i wasnt involved with anything that they had done.

a few weeks ago, i had told this girl about what had happened during my stay in november, and we were laughing about it because its crazy that they did that in a mental hospital. im not sure if she misunderstood me, or decided to start more problems, but she had told oliver that i cheated on her during my stay. that girl immediately started to avoid me afterwards, which makes me think she did this intentionally because thats the kind of person she is, and oliver knows this, so to see her trust somebody that we have both said not to trust really hurt me.

oliver also mentioned the new years party, which i have repeatedly explained to her over and over what actually happened. when i'm drunk, i am very vulnerable and easy to manipulate. i had told my friend, bri, to not let me do anything stupid. wether it be sneaking out at 3am, or drinking past my limit, i made sure she didn't let me hurt myself or others. to which i had said "if theres an instance where there's a possibility i might cheat on oliver, please make sure i don't. i cannot do that to her or myself."

later that night, at around 2 am, i got absolutely wasted. during this time, a girl who went by the name mori, tried pressuring me and bri into having a threesome. she was trying to take advantage of me being drunk, and no matter how many times i said no she kept saying "your girlfriend wont find out." bri stated that she didnt mind having sex with mori, but that i had a girlfriend and it wouldnt be a good idea. even with that input, mori kept begging me to join to the point where i slowly started to consider it, but i was still firm on saying no. eventually, i kicked mori out because i wasnt going to deal with that.

bri told our mutual friend about this. however, bri didnt say the full story (or she did, im not sure) and our mutual friend had told olive that i tried to cheat on her. i explained this several times to olive, and i have it recorded, and oliver said they understood the situation.

next, i would like to talk about the accusations made against me. asher, the person who started the s/a allegations, admitted to lying about it, and i shared this information with olive. they said that they were upset that the things they were stressing about weren't even true and they had apologized to me. yet, for some reason, they are still going to social media talking about these accusations full on knowing they are not true.

the cancer rumor was started in 7th grade by my ex who was angry that i had broken up with them. again, i had shared this with olive, and she said she understood as well.

the allegation stated where i tried to "💀 my mom" was also explained to olive. the same girl that had told olive i cheated on her in the hospital, had gone to the same hospital with me before this last one. there was a group therapy session, and one of the questions was "why are you here." i had shared my story, which was that i was having homocidal thoughts about my mother and i had called the police on myself because i didnt want it to get any worse and i recognized i needed help. again, olive said she understood and that it was a good thing that i had asked for help.

olive also knows the entire story of the DID accusations, and they stated that they believed my side of the story and even provided good input. i have schizophrenia, and in middle school i self diagnosed with DID because the symptoms are so similar and i hadnt gone to a professional about it. later on that year, i had gotten diagnosed with schizophrenia, and i had told people that i didnt actually have DID, but i didnt tell them about the actual disorder because that isnt any of their business. i shared this information with oliver before we even got together, and they stated that they trusted me.

the tourettes thing, however, is entirely true. i was in 7th grade, and i have anxiety tics, and i thought i could get away with exaggerating them. oliver, and everyone else, has the right to be upset at me. i was 12, and i was being stupid, however, i do think that it's a little bit ridiculous to be so angry about something that happened nearly 5 years ago. but that's just my opinion.

a few weeks ago, i had made a tiktok about the situation, and oliver had asked me to take it down, and i did. to see that she has been posting about me after we both decided not only to not make posts about it, but to be mature about it as well. this doesnt feel very mature.

olive knew my side of the story since the very beginning, and has seen the proof that these rumors arent even true, and yet, she still takes to social media to talk about things that she knew wasnt the full story. i dont know why exactly, but i have my suspicions.

i had also heard from several people that oliver had a crush on her best friend, ava, since before we got together and during our relationship, which hurts a lot. oliver often turned me down to hang out and talk with ava, so to see the truth makes it a lot worse.

oliver, you wanted to be mature about everything, but from what im seeing, this is FAR from mature. one of your friends had told me that you have a severe victim and savior complex when we were first talking, and i see it now. you also said you were "concerned for your safety" yet i only treated you with nothing but trust and respect? why were you so scared? you have had the same rumors happen to you, yet because your friends believe them mine are true? it doesnt make sense.

at the end of the day, this is all petty highschool drama, but the fact that oliver is going to social media and withdrawing information to change the story makes me upset, and if i were to request for them to take their posts down then theyd only block me and post about me again.

@vampyrdiariez

[riddlerosehearts]

HII ITS IDIAVIL ANON AGAIN!!! i wanted to respond to the post u made in response to my ask... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOT BEING ABLE 2 WRITE FICS LIKE!! ive been creatively writing for years and when it comes to stuff im rlly passionate abt i can become super duper creative. my struggle with writing fanfic is finding the time and motivation, plus my adhd makes it difficult for me to focus, BUT IVE BEEN DOING BETTER RECENTLY!!! im kinda familiar with wicked? i saw it on stage back when i was just a wee lad but i dont remember much of it (i honestly think i fell asleep ;-;) but i've been wanting to watch both the play and the new movie, i just haven't gotten to it yet. i will definitely keep this in mind as i watch both!! a few weeks ago i actually watched jennifer's body for the first time, i'd been wanting to watch it but then i saw someone mention a jennifer's body idiavil au and oh my gods i literally couldnt stop thinking about it. i've definitely kept that au in mind, and i will do the same for the wicked au!! when i do eventually watch wicked i'll probably send another giant yapping paragraph in ur asks abt it... ALSO PLEEASEE I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABT UR AU IT SEEMS SO COOL!!! also. hercules au. oh my god u get me. i'm not exaggerating when i say i've thought abt the idiavil meg and hercules parallel at least once a day for the past like five or so months. i NEVER stop talking to my friends about it EVER. i was actually on a disney cruise (twas a family trip) about a month ago and they had a giant tv above the pool, they showed a movie every fifteen minutes (after the movie prior had ended) and WHEN I TELL YOU I FREAKED OUT WHEN I SAW THEY HAD A SHOWING FOR HERCULES. AND I HAD TO RESIST FROM STIMMING (i get embarrassed when i stim in public bc i dont like being looked at or percieved like ever) DURING WONT SAY IM IN LOVE LIKE THATS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE DISNEY SONG OF ALL TIME OH MY GOODNESS. I WOULDNT STOP TEXTING MY FRIEND AND TALKING ABOUT IDIAVIL. also i did see ur response and oh my goodness i think abt it so much. ill probably share the keychains and playlists off anon later... also i LOVE the fact u keep ur pins of them next to each other... my birthday was actually a while ago (oct 28th) but the art has been delayed bc shes been busy which idm, shes putting a ton of effort into it. ill also probably share that off anon whenever its done!! alr im gonna wrap this up, i do have a few things i have to get done soon but i'll try to send in those playlists and pictures of the keychains b4 i go to bed tn!!

hi again haha!! whenever you watch the wicked movie i really hope you enjoy it! just keep in mind that they kind of, extended every single scene in act 1 to make it 2.5 hours long (when the whole stage musical with both acts combined is that length), so it's only a part 1 and we won't get part 2 until next year. which admittedly DOES bug me but i still loved the movie anyway. if you want to watch the stage musical after that, well, the people who record bootlegs usually ask you not to put them on youtube but people do anyway AKJDGJFSG. so you can probably find one easily enough! it's my absolute favorite musical! when i went to see it live in april, i kept thinking "well, vil does share glinda's love of fashion and her popularity and ambition, but he's different from her in a lot of ways too! for example, he doesn't believe that popularity is the only thing that really matters, and he would never sacrifice his own morals and ideals to achieve his goals... oh... wait..." and then i realized that the whole plot of book 5 is that vil kind of DID do all that! that's the whole tragedy of it, that he overblotted because he DID start to think that his hard work was meaningless and that he SHOULD resort to any means possible to be the most popular at the expense of his moral compass, and he thought of himself as ugly for doing so! he COULD have ended up basically alone, being praised by others around him as beautiful and good while inside he secretly believes himself to be wicked, just like glinda if his friends hadn't done everything to stop him from poisoning neige.

and idia may not be an animal rights activist like elphaba, nor is she an otaku LOL, but elphaba grew up lonely and ostracized because of her green skin and idia's family curse forced him to grow up isolated on the isle of woe and have blue fire for hair. she's a caretaker for her disabled sister whose father blames her for her condition, and idia has a robot brother whose death he blames himself for. elphaba is jaded and sarcastic and abrasive and deeply insecure, and who else fits that description? the only issue is that idia is far too pessimistic about the future to decide to do what elphaba does in defying gravity on his own, but i think in an AU he could be pushed to do it. also there's this part in wicked where after glinda and elphaba get back from a big dance at the ozdust ballroom glinda says "was that your first party?!" and elphaba deadpans "does a funeral count?" and i can just so clearly see that with idia and vil AFKJDGHF. there's so many other scenes too that i just see as being perfect for them.

as for fiyero i had two ideas here: in the actual musical, there's a love triangle in which elphaba and fiyero ultimately end up together but as i mentioned i would want to give my AU a happy ending and make vil and idia end up together in it. so i would do one of two things: 1) cast kalim as fiyero, because he literally just fits the role perfectly. fiyero is a foreign prince, and look at the lyrics to dancing through life and try to tell me kalim wouldn't sing this. but i don't ship kalim with either vil or idia, so in this scenario i'd probably cut the love triangle and have him somehow end up as their bestie who supports whatever insane gay thing those two have got going on. imo kalim really does fit fiyero better than anyone else and this idea is just so funny to me. or 2) cast rook as fiyero, keep the love triangle, and have it end in polyamory because even though i've never even considered shipping rook with idia i do ship rook/vil and i think this would be hilarious as an AU. also, there's a scene in wicked where glinda and elphaba are hanging out and glinda is like "let's tell each other our best secrets! i'll go first! FIYERO AND I ARE GOING TO BE MARRIED!!!" and since they've just started dating elphaba is like "he's asked you already??" and then glinda goes "oh no, he doesn't know yet!" and imagining vil saying that about rook just makes me laugh so hard.

OKAY. so there is an incomplete summary of my thoughts on a vilidia wicked AU!! honestly i don't really watch horror movies so i haven't seen jennifer's body but if i ever do watch it i'll have to keep that AU idea in mind. as for the hercules parallel idk if you've seen this post of mine but it makes me so happy every time someone likes or reblogs it because then i get to think about them again. hercules/meg has always been one of my favorite disney couples so when i saw this happen in book 6 i was immediately just. doomed to be insane about vil/idia forever because are you KIDDING ME?? also your birthday is right after mine omg, mine was october 25th!! so a late happy birthday to you, then! one last thing i'd like to say in this already way too long response is that i have two sets of floyd and riddle nuis--listen, they're my other favorite ship so i bought the first ones online and then saw more at a con i went to and couldn't resist--and i'm going to be getting idia and ortho nuis for christmas. hopefully soon i'll be able to get a vil nui as well so i can keep him right next to his boyfriend and his film club buddy/future brother-in-law 💙💜

[peterdemo]

I'm Procrastinating

I had an incredibly busy day, i work at a bank so this time of year gets really tough and i had to stay till 6:30 to close up because some suit in Canada thinks it's real important that we take care of the 2 people max that come in after the clock hits 5. I spent the whole day thinking about what I would do when I got home and when I got here I couldn't do any of it. But for prosperity here is what I'm thinking about:

In the elephant 6 documentary theres this scene, a real passing remark where one of the interviewees says "everybody was doing something: writing, drawing, painting, recording, filming" and on the screen flashes these really weird sort of mercurial drawings from jeff mangum, the speaker says that "jeff always used to do these really recognizable little guys" I cant help but be in awe of the originality and the abstractness and just the will to live of these little guys that jeff drew, and its not even something he really cared about or put thought in. it feels like these guys in athens georgia were just screaming look at what a genius i am, and no one heard them but each other, and so they worked and worked and eventually when someone did hear them it was too late and too much and jeff went crazy and never showed his face in public again.

So yeah, i didnt get anything done. Because how do you think about that all day and come home and make something you are proud of. Im trying to write something here everyday as an open journal to keep myself accountable to what i think is important, im so prone to rot and do nothing and hate myself without reason, and i do truly love this shit, even if no one sees it or reads it or listens and understands. I just wish i felt confident in a path forward for my art and that it was easy for me and it just flowed out of my head like water. i know these feelings are apart of finding it.

The video linked above is a performance my bandmates and i (here's my stupid face) did 2 weeks before greater anatolia came out. we recorded it and uploaded on the same day. right after this performance im pretty sure i at least drank 18 spiked lipton iced teas, a really stupid idea, and i got more drunk than i ever have in my life, well, maybe not the most drunk but definitely top 5. in my head i was celebrating finishing an album, and i did really have a really great time.

the song itself i think is one of the more interesting ones on the album, its by no means the one anyone mentions to me when the say they listened (usually stele for bronze, or adam and eve) but something in me just loves the sparseness of the lyrics and visceral unexplainable emotion that it brings me, its definitely a creation of my own head though. ill include the lyrics below just so maybe anyone reading can tell me if im crazy or shit.

thanks for reading

Grasping an old familiarity so old I cant remember its name it grabbed me tight it wont let go of me it extends to mortal tribes of every kind I saw a kid diagnosed with cancer it ate right through him all on camera I saw it happen while i was laying impending self reflection and I was horrified scared of the burden i've been given grasping an old familiarity taking a step closer every goddamn day increasingly medicated to the truth the hand of thanatos would be so comforting so comforting

[myers-meadow]

Yep, I've definitely lost count. 🐾 If it wouldn't be a bother to you, then I think I will take you up on that offer to help me figure out those numbers.

As for your pace, you do it however fast or slow or anything in between that you want to. Just know that I always smile when I see you respond in any way to one of my thingies (but don't feel obligated to pace yourself around trying to make me or anyone else happy; that is not your responsibility and will inevitably lead to burnout, which I think is the last thing either of us wants).

Then for the tags, that was just me giving my two cents on it and—at the risk of sounding like a broken record here—you should ultimately do whatever you want with those, too. At the end of the day, this is your blog and, if you ever feel like I am overstepping, you have every right to tell me to go bury my two cents in the litter box. Interacting with a fandom is all supposed to be something one does for fun, it should never feel like a chore.

I just answered a bunch, and scheduled two more to post at night (so you'll see those during when you often send them to me). I always smile when I wake up to a new ask too. You're not overstepping with anything, I never feel pushed to do anything by you or your asks. The pressure i feel is just from within and its something im working on, when my mind is not plagued by visions of me intertwining my tail with Haarlep's.

Fandom is really fun to engage in! I'm just nervous, but the benefits of making friends and getting to share hcs and art and fics is easily worth it.

currently in my inbox are (if i counted correctly):

Halsin: 3. Gale: 1. Astarion: 0. Haarlep: 1 fluff, 3 older ones (working on short fics for some of those). Raphael: 2 fluff, 6 other. Rolan: 2.

With how many I've answered today, and the motivation i have now that i am off work for two weeks, don't worry about it seeming like a lot. I am having a lot of fun with them, and every time i get a new one it makes me really happy and inspires me 💖✨. I'm usually the kind of person who has a lot of fics going at the same time, to switch between when it strikes my fancy.

Lately my dreams have been plagued (quite literally) by the Dream Guardian (not the emperor!! I'm vegetarian I don't eat squid ✌ /joking). And then there is He Who Was, who even though he has only one scene haunts me with his mysterious vibe and beautiful black eyes. Do you also like them perchance? Totally understandable if you don't have anything laying around for them! So please don't push yourself for me <3. I'm more than satisfied with the wonderful asks that are patiently waiting for me to answer them ✨

[malleablemusic]

unfortunately, my boyfriend unironically listens to weezer, and has caught wind about this blog. after a month of trying, he has successfully convinced me to use this album for this week's blog. let the record state that i have heard island in the sun before, as aquamarine is one of my favorite movies in the entire world (for anyone wondering, he will now be watching that fantastic piece of cinematic history with me in exchange for this post). anyways, here's my review of weezer's self titled album:

don't let go: 3/5 stars

i love when a man sings "ill be down on my knees" for some reason its just so vulnerable

loving the simp energy he is giving, whole song is just begging so far

this is transforming me into a 14 year old boy with a spiky haircut, learning guitar in my room, suddenly i want to play basketball in my driveway

his voice is very classic, especially for the music genre, but doesn't feel unique enough for me

photograph: 2.9/5 stars

i always love clapping in songs, especially in an intro

such a fun beat, i could dance around my room to this

i think he just liked getting to repeat "re-erect it" over and over

hash pipe: 4.6/5 stars

oh okay raaaangeee!!!! is this a completely different singer

feels like such a different vibe than the first two

what happens when that 14yr old spiky haired kid gets older and gains access to marijuana lmao

i didn't know weezer could be angsty this is great

"you've got your problems / i've got my eyes wide / you've got your big g's / i've got my hash pipe" he's truly speaking words of wisdom

island in the sun: 5/5 stars

it is very hard for me to separate this song from the film that means so very much to me (aquamarine) so i simply will not be

the pure joy and light and love this song exudes its insane

i am instantly transported to a beach, in a bikini and big shirt, hair damp and sun-bleached, off a margarita and dancing in the sunset

i am obsessed with the guitar solo and need to learn how to play just for this

the way he sings "we'll never feel bad anymoreeee" !! IM HEALED

crab: .1/5 stars

okay continuing with the beach theme

brb googling what it means to crab?

according to the internet they're just complaining about the women. ok way to let me down after one of my favorite songs ever

is this just a man upset a woman won't sleep with him

"crab at the booty / 'taint gonna do no good" shutttt uppp ! just shut up (:

this is really gonna lower the album's average huge L for them

knockdown dragout: 2.5/5 stars

lyrics are kind of giving nothing, repetitive

i do enjoy the guitar, they always eat with that, but this is kind of boring

smile: 2.8/5 stars

i like his little belting when he sings "'cause i don't wanna break"

the guitar solos in this album !! even the short ones, so good

follows the common theme i see of wanting a girl to give him a chance...

simple pages: 2.8/5 stars

yup okay another song asking a girl to give him a chance - truly, i get it, and this is a valid form of art you go sir, i just do not see myself listening to this kinda music

i do enjoy pining every once in a while do not get me wrong

another bangin guitar solo

feels like i don't have much to say about this..

glorious day: 3/5 stars

angsty nerdy boy decides its time to finally make a move and ask a girl out

i like these kinds of weezer songs more, the "grittier" sound

giving angry high school band in a battle of the bands competition

o girlfriend: 2/5 stars

i think what i don't like about them is while their sound is good and i enjoy it, the lyrics are truly so generic and not special

i think I said this in an earlier post, and i am not trying to be disparaging, but an AI chatbot could've easily written this in 30 seconds- i just don't believe he's actually hurt and grieving a love, i want to feel the artists genuine pain, this does not sound like a man torn apart

sadly, i was very underwhelmed by this album. to my partner's credit, this is not his favorite of their work, so maybe i will give the rest of their music a try eventually, but for now that was very mid (aside from the perfection that is island in the sun) and i'd give the album 2.7/5 stars.

[maryholdenofthevalley]

Good Omens, Season 2, Episode 6 Reaction

(Contain Spoiler)

I did this reaction in a note, because I did not want to see spoiler on Discord. When we need context, I put [context] in the brackets.

1. Crowley fake angel hopping behind Muriel like a rabbit????? SO CUTE

2. WHY KILL ERIC SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭 LEAVE HIM BEEEEEEEEE

3. Michael: lets do this

Gabriel: nu-uh

4. Shax asked if Aziraphale is Crowley's emotional support angel and I can gladly answer her with all the watching-you-eat-cake and I-like-it-when-I-rescue-you thing

5. Crowley's little encouraging hand pump to Muriel. they are so cute together.

6. Aziraphale's little terrified "ahhh" when they throw the books at demons 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

7. HIS HALO

8. Eric never learn his mistake does he? To touch an angel's halo? Really?

9. ITS A FUCKING LANDMINE???

[Gabriel flashback begin]

10. They took the ineffable bureaucracy ship very seriously it seems

11. THEY REALLY TOOK IT SERIOUSLY

12. Omg they are serious. Is this how a fandom win?

13. Beelzebub likes the song, Gabriel follows, then made a miracle to keep playing it. I serious can't be sane right now.

14. THEY HANDS TOUCHED

[Beelzebub gave Gabriel the fly]

15. This is a fucking romance drama and Im living for it

16. No.

[Yeah Ineffable Bureaucracy held hand. It was not AziCrow scene.]

17. For the record, I didnt see it coming. I mean I kinda see it, but I thoughy its just my fangirl mind being delusional.

When they were going to hold hands I immediately stop and running around the house. Kneeling and crying like a pathetic bitch. I know I really say I was sobbing before but it was just dramatic talk. But I am crying right now. For real.

18. Aziraphale reaching out to Crowley I...

19. Crowley cleaning up the house before his angel comeback is so cute

(This reaction was written after 2 weeks because I have calmed down by now)

20. I kept cursing at those two for the entire confession scene. Then the kiss came and I did the same as 17 for a few minutes before I continue the episode. I was dead the entire time after that, just watching them driving and smiling in the elevator with a dumb face. When the credit end, I threw away the headphone and sobbing for a few more minutes while my family members look at me weirdly (they don't watch it. good for them, good for them). I was never the same after that. I can't focus on any other fandom. I have been dead for 2 weeks, but also making a lot of theories and conclusions. I made a world building sheet for the show. It was fun. I'm not normal yet.

Anyway, thank you Neil Gaiman for making season 2! Now we desperately need season 3! I wish for the strike to go smootly and we all get what we need to get!