#for the record 'i will simply cut myself off and then i don't have to be afraid of losing you anymore'

[wonder-worker]

I should clarify that we don't know if Thomas More actually met Elizabeth Shore! While he claimed that he did, David Santiuste has pointed out that More's description of Elizabeth in her later years, "where a 'fallen woman' loses her beauty, echoes familiar tropes in moral literature" at the time. It was very common to find such narratives in Tudor England, such as Robert Henryson's popular poem, Testament of Cresseid. So, while most historians have (unfortunately) taken More's claim at face-value based on that description, it can and should be questioned more than it has been till date.

Also, More's knowledge about Elizabeth's life was distinctly lacking and unreliable* in a way that makes it hard to believe he was getting his information from her. For example, he claimed that she was still married to William Shore in 1483 even though we know she had divorced Shore years ago; he didn't know that Richard III had accused her of having an affair with Thomas Gray despite the very public nature of that accusation; and he either didn't know or deliberately erased the fact that she married Thomas Lynom (and had a child with him) shortly after her penance walk. Instead, More seems to have created a tragic afterlife for her, claiming that she ended her life destitute and friendless, which was...almost definitely untrue (her reality would have been far, far happier). His claim that Richard III accused Elizabeth Shore of witchcraft was also most probably false and invented by More himself: the Great Chronicle never mentions any such thing, Richard's own proclamations against her suggest against the idea, and a textual comparison to Vergil's account (which More directly used as a source for that specific scene) indicates that More seems to have inserted Elizabeth Shore into the accusation that was, historically, only levelled at Elizabeth Woodville**.

In short: We don't know if More truly met Elizabeth Shore; at the very least, his claim should be taken with a grain of salt. But even if More did meet her, or at the very least came across her (which is plausible, as her second husband had a flourishing career under the Tudors and died in the 1510s), his haphazard knowledge of her makes it very unlikely that he could have questioned her about events of her life. Alternatively, if he did question her, he seems to have had no problem massively editing, rewriting or outright inventing several crucial and defining aspects of her life to suit his own narrative convenience. Whatever the case, it's clear that More was not using Elizabeth Shore as a source of information. It's also clear that he demonstrably did not care about historical accuracy where she was concerned*** (his descriptions of her are incredibly self-indulgent and generic) and should not be taken at face-value when talking about her life.

*We don't know if she and Edward IV truly had an affair, or if it was actually long-term & public (both of which are different things, and both of which have no verifiable evidence as of now). But even if they did have some kind of relationship, evidence strongly contradicts the idea that she was a visible figure during his reign - which may explain More's haphazard knowledge of her. Indeed, the author of the Great Chronicle could not even remember her name, merely calling her "a woman named Shore", with a blank space left before her surname. Similarly, the Elizabethans - who derived their knowledge of her entirely from More's account being printed and circulated from the 1540s - seem to have been so unfamiliar with her that they invented a fake name, fake husband (a goldsmith named Matthew) and fake backstory for her. More himself, in addition to his various inaccuracies about her, claims that she had a memorable role at court while simultaneously taking it for granted that his audience will not know who she is (which...does not make sense). He also literally never bothers to mention her name throughout his account; we don't know if he even knew what it was. Compare this to the consistent and matter-of-fact way contemporary and post-contemporary chroniclers spoke of Alice Perrers and Katherine Swynford, or how Rosamund Clifford's name was organically remembered across the centuries. In contrast, the absence of Elizabeth Shore in post-contemporary chronicles, and the ignorance that both More and the Great Chronicle displayed for the most basic elements of her life, cast immense doubt on the idea of her so-called visibility. If she had an affair with Edward IV, we can also conclude other things about their relationship based on current evidence, which may explain why chroniclers had such lacking knowledge of her. For one, she never received any official grants or rewards from Edward throughout his reign, a striking contrast to Alice Perrers and Katherine Swynford who received plenty from their royal lovers during Queen Philippa and Constance of Castile's lives. With the variety of 14th century English and 15th century French & Breton precedents that Edward had at his disposal when it came to rewarding royal mistresses in such a way, we can only conclude that if they were in a relationship, he simply did not want to honour Elizabeth Shore in such a public manner (ie: through patent and Parliament rolls, etc). Nor did Edward ever favor her parents, despite his patronage of so many other London merchants. It's very hard to understand how someone who had so little influence that she was incapable of obtaining grants for herself or her family would somehow have been able to intercede on behalf of others as Thomas More (very generically and romantically) claimed she did. Indeed, Elizabeth is absent from all known cases of intercession during Edward's second reign, and specific examples dispel the idea that she was viewed as a figure of visible influence like Alice and Katherine had been (see: the Merchant Adventurers Company sending desperate appeals to influential figures at court in 1480; Elizabeth Lambert is conspicuously absent from the list). In my opinion, if historians claim that Edward III and John of Gaunt's affairs with Alice and Katherine were "discreet" during Philippa and Constance's lives despite having actual contemporary evidence of their affairs via records and chronicles, then we must necessarily view the (potential, unverified, unknown) relationship between Edward IV and Elizabeth Shore as 10x more discreet considering we have no evidence for it at all. Based on what we know so far, given that post-contemporary chroniclers could not even remember her name, I think this interpretation is only fair.

**Re Elizabeth's role in 1483: another thing I want to clarify is that her arrest and penance walk doesn't seem to have had anything to do with Edward IV - as is commonly assumed - but with William Hastings. Simon Stallworth's contemporary letter, written on 21st June, makes it clear that Elizabeth was imprisoned shortly after Hastings' execution. The Great Chronicle likewise emphasizes that she was punished for her affair with Hastings (which mirrors how Richard used her to disparage Thomas Gray, and suggests that he was using the same tactic here to vilify Hastings) without ever linking her to Edward IV. Also, the idea of her being a messenger between Elizabeth Woodville and Hastings is simply not true: it is a modern fantasy theory that has been irresponsibly accepted by historians as a fact. It has no basis in history (it's highly improbable that Elizabeth Woodville and Hastings were in an alliance) and no chronicle, including More, claimed Richard accused her of this.

***In general, Thomas More is very unreliable when it comes to Edward IV's life - specifically his love life - as well. Apart from his false claim that he died at the age of 53 (???), More seems to have invented a page-long fictional story about Edward's alleged pre-contract, claiming that it was actually with Elizabeth Lucy who had once been summoned by his mother to court to try and deter him from marrying Elizabeth Woodville (we know that the pre-contract was with Eleanor Talbot, there is no record of a woman named "Elizabeth Lucy" even existing at the time, and there is no evidence of Edward's council or his mother doing any such thing). Additionally, More claimed that Edward IV discussed his marriage to Elizabeth Woodville with his courtiers before he married her, which is obviously not true. He also claimed that Edward had three long-term mistresses, which is explicitly contradicted by other chroniclers like Dominic Mancini, who arrived in England at the end of Edward's life and clearly states that he was known for having very short-term sexual affairs; it's very hard to understand how Mancini could have gotten such a radically different impression from courtiers and local Londoners if a long-term public mistress like Elizabeth Shore existed at that time. For that matter, the claim is also contradicted by Thomas More himself, who implies that Edward's affairs stopped in his last years ("in his youth given to fleshy wantonness...in his latter days, it lessened and well left"). I'm really not sure how we can reconcile that with what More claims about Elizabeth Lambert. Interestingly enough, More's claim that Edward may have eventually stopped having affairs is actually supported another independent chronicler, Habington, who wrote that "Even from [lust] which was reputed his bofome finn, toward the later end of his life, he was [somewhat] cleare: either [conscience] reforming him, or by continuall faciete growne to a loathing of it". Of course, we don't know if this is true or not, but whatever the case, the point is that More's claims re Edward's love life are ... really not reliable. On the contrary, he has displayed a pretty stellar record of invention, exaggeration and general inconsistency. His claims re Ellizabeth Shore cannot be taken at face-value and should be questioned & doubted far more than they are.

(Of course, this isn't to argue that everything More claimed about Elizabeth was an outright invention. This isn't true at all: he clearly did know some pretty important things about her. But when it comes to the existence and nature of her alleged affair with Edward IV...we just don't know. More could have been making it up; he could have been telling the truth; he could have been narrating what he believed was the truth; he could have been basing his account on a grain of truth while exaggerating/constructing the rest (in my opinion, the last one makes the most sense and fits best with what we know so far). What I'm trying to say is that More's claims regarding their alleged affair are not verifiable and reliable, and his claims regarding the nature of that affair can be contradicted by actual evidence and other sources, including More's own account. All in all - like you said, he can't be used uncritically as a source when it comes to her.

What is your opinion on Elizabeth Lambert? Does she have any unknown related knowledge?

I find her very interesting, particularly with the way her story parallels Alice Perrers and Eleanor Cobham, and I find her a very sympathetic figure. I don't know too much about her since the end of the Wars of the Roses isn't one of "my" periods and the thought of sorting through the Ricardians from the Ricardian-influenced to the Tudorites to find decent information about them just makes me go "no" and give up.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by your second question. We don't know a lot about her since the lives of mistresses aren't very well documented, particularly ones not of aristocratic birth. In addition, a lot of what we know about Elizabeth comes from Thomas More. He did claim to have met her but More can't be used uncritically as a source. The best coverage of Elizabeth's life, afaik, N. Barker's article, 'The real Jane Shore’ in Etoniana, 125 (1972) and 126 (1972). I've not read them myself but I believe Barker was the scholar who discovered "Jane Shore" was in fact Elizabeth Lambert.

[thevoidstaredback]

"Guys!" Nightwing shouted once he and Batman arrived in the main are of the Bat Cave, "I have some fantastic news!"

Bruce pulled his cowl off, his amusement no longer being hidden as he nearly failed to keep from laughing.

Everyone had gathered in the Cave to await the two who'd gone to the Watchtower, so everyone was already there to hear the exclamation. Even Alfred was with them all.

"Calm down, Big Bird," Jason said from his place on the meeting table, "What's going on?"

Dick was bouncing on the balls of his feet, "Can I tell 'em, B? Can I, can I?!"

Bruce chuckled, "I'm not stopping you."

He cheered before turning back to the rest of his family, "They think there's a total of three-" he held up three fingers on his left hand, "-of us operating within Gotham, myself excluded because I'm in Bludhaven."

"Wait," Stephanie called, "They think Batman only has three people helping to cover Gotham? They know we're human, right?"

Dick shook his head, his grin only getting bigger. "Nope! They think Batman only has two sidekicks covering Gotham with him."

This caused everyone to laugh, the humor breaking any seriousness anyone would've tried to control to keep on topic. It was nice, Bruce smiled, to be able to let loose with everyone like this. His family was altogether, spending time with one another, doing things that didn't include head hunts or injuries.

Alfred took his place beside Bruce. "This is nice, isn't it."

"It is."

"You can die a happy man now?"

A chuckle. "You killing me off so soon?"

"Of course not, Master Bruce," He's smirking, "I'm simply stating a fact."

"Ha!"

"What're you guys talking about over there?" Tim called. Everyone had gathered at the meeting table to go over final details and slight changes for the set up tomorrow. "C'mon! We've gotta finish putting this all together."

Duke nodded from over his shoulder, "Yeah! New information allows room for some much more fun!"

Jason smirked. "Yeah, old man, Alfred! We want to see if we can get away with switching out with each other. It'll confuse the hell outta the Leaguers."

Bruce raised an eyebrow as he and Alfred joined the kids at the table. "How are you going to pull that off? Despite what you all may thing, the others are all a lot more observant than given credit for-"

"Except the Flash and Green Arrow." Cass cut in.

"Hey!" Dick said, "Don't dis Barry like that!"

"Yeah," Barbra agreed, "And Ollie's whole thing is spotting details. He prides himself on it!"

"If that were true, then we wouldn't be planning on how to mess with them, now would we?"

Tim nodded, "Damian's right."

"As you were saying?" Bruce prompted.

"Well," Jason continued, "You, Damian, and Dick have to be here as Batman, Nightwing, and Robin. They all probably know about me, so I'll stay out of the Cave, but you can bet your ass that I'll be in the Clocktower with Babs, listening in on everything." He looked to Tim and Babs. "Should we set up cameras?"

Tim thought for a second, "If we want to record this, then yeah. I can have them all set up by morning."

"I'll help you set it up before I head out tonight," Barbra agreed.

"Anyway," Stephanie interrupted, pulling the attention to herself, "Tim, Cass, and I could totally get away with running around and messing with their senses and shit. And if we can get Kate and Selina in on this-"

"You've already talked to them, haven't you." Bruce asked. The matching grins on everyone's faces was answer enough. He sighed.

"Having fun," Cass patted his arm, "Bonding."

He snorted. 'Bonding', yeah right. Maybe letting his coworkers be the target of his childrens' whims is a bad idea. Then again, their not hurting anyone. It's all fun in games.

Bruce sat at the head of the table. "Alright. We all know about Superman's ability to hear heartbeats and breathing patterns. He's able to memorize someone's vitals, especially his friends. It's safe to assume he's got mine down, as well as Robin's and Nightwing's."

Damian scoffed. "Changing my vitals will be no issue for me."

Bruce nodded, "Me, either."

Dick nodded along, "Soundseasy enough. But what's the plan?"

"Oracle will call you out for an emergency in Bludhaven. Red Hood will call me out for some information at the docks. We'll met up at the Clocktower and switch costumes." he explained.

Barbra had a manic look on her face. "We should have Steph and Cass stay away from the Cave at first, then have them come in separately, but sharing a costume." SHe turned her attention to the blonde. "You have a spare Spoiler costume, yeah?"

Stephanie matched her grin, "Naturally."

"What about me, Tim, and Damian?" Duke asked.

"How would you and Tim like to be actual bats?" the red head wondered, "Or maybe ghosts?"

"Do we get to mess with shit?" Tim asked.

"Naturally."

"I'm in," the two responded.

"Damian will run distraction," Jason said," He'll be the only one who stays with the JL the whole time they're here. Alfred will have to keep cover upstairs. I'll bounce between the Manor, the Clocktower, and patrol."

"Are you quite sure?" Alfred asked, "That's quite a lot to be doing."

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he assured.

Brice cleared his throat. "If everyone's ready?" Looks around the table before nods of affirmation. "Good. Finish up any last minute changes and preparations. They've agreed to meet at the Watchtower at fifteen hundred New Jersey time so that I can bring them here. Damian, I want you to come with me."

"Of course, father."

"Ready? Break."

Part 3 Part 5

Tag List: @sebas-nights

[imtherain]

How We Used To Be (Forced Closeness)

Oh Hai - Logan has inspired me again. This was supposed to be a very different story and there was supposed to be smut, but it didn't work out that way.

Warnings: Talk of injuries (basically that scene in Logan (2017)), Not smut, almost tho, talk about the past, angst I guess? Old Man Logan, who has issues with intimacy and it's not what you think (or maybe it is). I used y/n but it's in first person and I gave her powers/a mutant name, so idk what that's called.

Old Man Logan x mutant!reader I guess? I'm too old to learn the new tricks of labeling these things, all I know is I've been thirsty for Logan since I was literally 7 years old and this is quickly turning into one of the recipe blogs where you have to read a bazillion words before you see the directions. Sorry

Word Count: 3.2k (don't look at me)

[Masterlist]

[Logan Masterlist]

“You look like shit, love,” I said, leaning in the doorway to the bathroom. Logan’s eyes shot up to glare at me in the mirror. He was bleeding from several bullet wounds and was currently shirtless and heaving over the sink. 

“Get the fuck out,” He ground out. I hadn’t seen him in almost six months. Almost a record.

“Calaban called me,” I told him, knowing he likely knew that was how I ended up here. “I’m glad he did, you’re worse off than anticipated.” 

“If you touch me, I’ll rip your arms off,” A caged animal snapping his teeth. I knew all of his threats to me were empty, but it still made my heart ache that he would rather suffer than let me help him.

“I’m not scared of you,” I told him, pulling myself off the doorframe. I shut the door behind me and crossed the tiles until I stood next to him. He was snarling in general, but didn’t move away when I took a cloth and began to clean the blood from one of the wounds on his arm.

My gift had earned me the name Booster back when things were good and goofy mutant names were all the rage, as my main ability was that I literally boosted other mutants powers when I touched them. I always joked about how it was a lazy XMen name. But now? There weren’t many of us left, no reason for silly code names. But we still stuck together when we could. I told myself that was the only reason I hung around this part of the country still. To be close to the few mutants I knew were left.

Nevermind that it was really the bleeding man in front of me that I stayed for.

“I don’t need your help,” Logan’s voice was quieter now, but still sharp edged like his teeth. I shushed him and wiped at another spot of blood, waiting for him to give in to the knowledge that I could actually make him feel better.

“I’m sure you don’t, but it would make me feel useful to help, would you deny me that?” I quirked an eyebrow at him and he looked away from me. 

“Last time you helped me I hurt you, I’m not letting that happen again,” I reached up and took his face in my hands. His eyes fluttered closed.

“Cuts heal,” I told him. He moved to cage me with his arms for a moment and I was sure he was going to give in. But all at once he shoved me away from him and I stumbled into the wall. “Logan,” I chided. 

“Leave, Y/N,” There was no snarl left in his voice, just defeat. 

And pain.

“No,” I told him simply. “Now are you going to let me Boost you or not?” 

“Last time…” 

“Yeah, yeah, last time,” I rolled my eyes as I cut him off. My abilities didn’t just boost one part of a mutant, it boosted all of them. So in Logan’s case, it made him a bit more animalistic for a time. Made him more likely to use his teeth, or use his claws.

The claws are what got me that last time he kept thinking about. He got me good, I'd give him that, I even had the scars on my ribcage if you looked close enough. But I didn't tell him that.

“If you do that again, I won’t be able to stop myself from…” Logan snarled at himself as a wave of pain contorted his features. “Fuck,” He cursed lowly to himself. I sighed and pulled my shirt off while he watched me in the mirror. 

“I’m a big girl, love, I can handle you,” I half teased, half soothed him. “And don’t forget, I get to keep a bit of what I boost, so anything you do to me won’t last long,” A secondary benefit to skin to skin contact with me. I got to taste the powers that others had. I hadn’t used it on too many mutants in my life. Most mutants didn’t really have powers that benefited from boosting all that much. But Logan and his healing factor? It was useful. Even if it made him extra feisty for a day or so.

It also made him horny usually but that was hardly a complaint from me.

“Fine, but only for a minute,” He finally gave in. I smiled at him and stepped behind him.

“Want me to take my bra off too?” I smirked over his shoulder at him and he shivered, shaking his head no. Too bad I was a bad listener. I shucked my bra and made a big show of dropping it to the floor next to us. Logan let out a shaky breath, knowing what was coming.

We’d been here before.

I pulled his beater out of his pants and slid my hands slowly up his ribs. He grunted as my hands slid over bruises and broken things. I hummed softly as I let my powers unfurl into his skin while I slid his shirt up. I’d learned pretty early on that the more skin that touched skin, the better my boosting worked.

I pressed myself along Logan’s back as I helped ease his shirt over his shoulders and arms. He groaned when the shirt finally came free over his head and joined mine on the floor. 

My arms closed around him, one moving up towards his chest, one circling around his middle. Skin searching skin as he caught my eyes in the mirror. 

“How does it feel?” I whispered against his shoulder. I had aimed for his neck but he avoided me.

“Warm,” He murmured. “Always does,” I pressed a soft kiss to his skin and he shivered again.

Instead of teasing him anymore, I focused on the task at hand, closing my eyes and leaning against him. I could feel my powers seeping into his skin, like sunshine that time we took a bunch of the kids to the beach the summer it was so hot the AC kept going out. I wondered if he ever let himself remember the good times or if he only ever lingered on the bad ones.

Logan let out a shaky breath followed by a deep groan as a bullet pushed free of his flesh. It landed with a metallic thud in the sink, closely followed by a second and a third. 

“Do you know how many there are?” I asked. 

“More,” Was all Logan got out from between his clenched teeth. I adjusted my hold and focused back on my breathing. Healing and boosting were both somehow tied to breath. 

My powers were not a magic fix though either. It still took time. I still remembered the days when he didn’t need me to boost him, but he’d ask just so I’d touch him a little. Back then I’d been shy, always holding his hand, or maybe his arm. I was shy a lot until the day he kissed me the first time.

Then all the cards were on the table…all the clothes on the floor.

A metallic thud on the floor brought me back to the task at hand. I moved my arms to touch different skin and Logan covered my hands with his, holding me so I didn’t pull away. I smiled against his shoulder and playfully nipped him with my teeth.

“And you didn’t want me to touch you a second ago,” I teased him. He growled, low in his throat. The animal was coming up in his chest and I knew what that meant for me. Logan was scared he’d hurt me again, but I knew the risk, and I was eager to face him. 

“That’s enough,” Logan panted, but he didn’t pull my hands away. I waited to see what he’d do, pull away or pull me closer. 

He brought one of my hands up to his mouth and kissed each finger tip. I hummed in pleasure, not so subtly rubbing my suddenly erect nipples along his spine. Another growl and my fingers were suddenly in his mouth.

“Logan!” I chuckled as he nibbled on my fingers. “I know that’s technically skin, but my arm isn’t helping if you hold it up like that,” I tried to pull my hand back and he just grumbled at me. 

“How do you still taste so good?” Logan mused, not expecting an answer. “It’s been years and you still taste just as sweet,” 

“You’re a romantic is why,” I hid my blush from his hungry eyes by dipping behind his shoulder again. Logan pulled me in front of him, caging me between his chest, his arms, and the bathroom sink.

“You should leave now, before it’s too late,” His eyes were hungry in the same way they had always been for me. I reached up and took his face in my hands again, tracing the crows feet around his eyes with my thumbs.

“And miss all the fun?” I mused. He rolled his eyes at me. “And you’re still bleeding,” I pointed out, tracing the one wound on his arm that hadn’t quite healed yet. It must have been the nastiest one because it appeared to be the last one to go.

“Y/N,” he warned. 

“I’ll stop touching you when this one heals,” I told him. “Promise,” it was a baldfaced lie. I wouldn’t leave him unless he bodily threw me out the window. And not only would I not fit out the closest window, he would never dare.

“I don’t know if I can hold out that long,” Logan’s pupils were blown and his smirk was hazy. I knew exactly what he was craving and I was pretty impressed he’d managed to hold himself back as long as he had.

“I can take you, big boy,” I smirked. “Always could and always will,” I pulled myself on his shoulders so that I could press my lips to his. It was just a quick peck, testing the waters. Logan stared at me for a long time, neither of us noticing that the last bullet hole had finally closed. 

But there was still pain in him, still things to heal, so I held onto him, hoping to fix everything I could before he made me leave him again.

Logan finally got himself together enough to push me away from him. I swallowed hard, wondering if he’d be mad that I clung to him as long as I had, wondering if this time I’d sassed my way into making him actually hate me.

His eyes drifted from my flushed cheeks, to my parted lips, down the curve of my neck and the valley between my breasts. I knew they’d seen better days, having drooped with the years, but from the hunger in Logan’s eyes, you’d think he didn’t notice.

His hands moved from my shoulders to my chest and I gasped at the sudden sensation of him pawing me.

“I shouldn’t,” Logan complained into my throat as he dragged his teeth along my pulse.

“I can take it,” I assured him.

“What if I hurt you?” 

“I can take it,” I told him again.

“Fuck,” Logan’s growl tickled my neck as he moved to lift me onto the nearest surface, a sad excuse for a bathroom cabinet that gave way with a crack as soon as he set me on it.

“I’ll fix that,” I told him but he didn’t care, his mouth was on mine before I could come out with another apology. Logan pulled me flush with his chest, off the now broken surface to my feet, and walked backwards with me until he ran into the door frame. 

I giggled a little as he cursed, unclear why this was so difficult. I got us through the door, smiling and pulling on his hands, making sure to keep my skin touching his somewhere. Anywhere.

Everywhere I could reach. 

Logan licked his way into my mouth as we stumbled through the living room, bouncing off the wayward furniture as we made our way to his bed. Finally, something soft to land on.

I was on my back looking up at him. I’d seen him in his prime, when his hair wasn’t graying, when he didn’t keep a beard. I’d seen him when nothing could stop him. And looking at him now, I felt exactly the same as I did back then. Hungry for the animal of him, for the things I knew he could do to me. Lust for the sensations he could cause. And love, still burning brightly after all these years.

Love for the man he was underneath it all.

When Logan didn’t join me right away, I reached up to him and whined, knowing he always liked how desperate I got for him. He shook his head at my shenanigans and I wiggled for him as his hands worked to undo his pants.

“Impatient as always,” Logan chuckled.

“It’s your fault for making me go away all the time,” I countered. His slacks hit the floor and he moved to kiss his way up my bare stomach as he worked on getting me out of mine.

He just grunted as his mouth ran along the skin he exposed when he pulled my pants and underwear down my thighs. I knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up, so I didn’t push him or ask him to ask me to stay.

Logan pressed his face into the soft spot behind my knee and I squirmed as his beard tickled the sensitive skin.

“God you smell amazing,” He mumbled, tracing the inside of my thigh with open mouth kisses. I let my hips relax and fall open for him and his eyes zeroed in on the place that, at the moment, needed him most. With a growl, Logan moved to bury his face in my folds, and I couldn’t help the surprised yelp I let out at his movements. 

There was a time he would devour me for hours if given the chance. A time when he’d want me in any place we were. Broom closets, empty classrooms, offices that we weren’t even supposed to be in. Every hotel and far too many bathrooms. Quickies and love making and slow fucks and even hate fucks now and then. We had everything, but now? 

“Fuck, Logan that tickles,” I wiggled against his face as he breathed me in.

“Shh,” He murmured. “Just let me have this,” 

“I’m trying to give it to you,” I groaned. Logan rolled his eyes at me, but adjusted so that he could pass a long lick of his tongue through me. I shivered at the sensation, a fire sparking along my nerves. I felt his self-satisfied smirk against my core before he moved his mouth against me again. 

“I don’t remember you being this desperate,” He mused, pulling two long fingers through the dampness he’s been lapping at.

“Logan, baby, please,” I begged him to do more than tease me.

“Please what, sweetheart?” Logan’s eyes caught mine as I huffed, annoyed that he wasn’t fucking me yet.

“I want more of you,” I told him. 

“Yeah well, ‘more of me’ ain’t exactly working at the moment,” He admitted. I knew finally growing old had caught up with him in a lot of ways, but my chest ached for him that it came for him this way too. He’d always prided himself on his virality.

“I want any of you I can get, baby,” I smiled at him, reaching down to pull him flush with my chest so I could kiss him again, my mouth opening easily for his tongue to explore. I let my powers unfurl into the kiss, into any skin of his that was touching mine. Trying desperately to let him feel like himself again.

“Hmm,” He mumbled, pulling back slightly. I kissed the side of his mouth, his jaw, as he tried to shake the feeling out of his head. “Warm,” His eyes were suddenly really far away, sleepy. I kissed him again, softer now. 

“It’s ok, baby, I’ve got you,” I told him. He made a grumbling noise in his chest as sleep zapped his strength.

“What did you…what did you do to me?” Logan tried to push himself off of me, but only managed to roll to one side. I held him close.

“Nothing, love,” I whispered, kissing his face again. “Healing is just, just a lot, remember?” 

“But I was gonna fuck you,” Logan mumbled, eyes closed now.

“I know baby,” I smiled gently at him. I had my arms around him still, trying to help him heal some of the damage that the bullets hadn’t caused. “You can fuck me tomorrow,” He tried to move away from me, but he was unable to untangle our limbs before his body told him it was nap time.

I sighed heavily, a bit bummed that neither of us had ended up getting our rocks off, but happy too, that I’d been able to help boost his healing. But I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was far worse off than I thought he was. 

When we were younger, he’d almost go into a rut after being Boosted. It was madness but it was always a good time. The last few years, with his body slowing down, the Boosting made him feral, but then he’d pass out for a long time while his body caught back up. The last time I’d been here, he’d fucked me through two orgasms and himself through one, before the sleepiness came for him. That time, he’d lashed out, thinking he’d been drugged. It was like the nights he’d wake up with nightmares, only he’d not gone fully to sleep yet.

Part of me was glad he didn’t try to gut me at least. But my heart clenched at the thought that maybe the end of him was closer than I wanted to believe.

To stave off the tears that were suddenly crowding my throat, I adjusted our bodies so that Logan could use my chest as a pillow. He mumbled something in his sleep, and his arm pulled me closer, holding me like maybe this time he wasn’t going to let me go. I circled his head with my arms, carding my fingers through his hair, happy to be able to comfort him, to allow him to sleep.

For just a moment, it could have been any other day. We could be young again. All of our friends, still alive. I closed my eyes and imagined the sounds of the school. Kids running down wooden hallways, calling after each other. Tears escaped me then, because most of those kids were gone now. And any kids like them, like I had been so long ago now, didn’t have a school to go to. They would be rounded up and killed now. Or taken away to some place horrible. And I knew there was nothing I could do.

Except maybe hold Logan just a little bit tighter, knowing that every fight ever fought for those kids, eventually made its way to him too.

[Another Logan Fic]

[Masterlist]

[Logan Masterlist]

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[inmyglenpowellera]

Bad Reputation Part 3 | Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Taylor Swift inspired!OC

Request: Requested by @akornsworld

Word Count: 10,505 words

Summary: There's that saying for some people, “You can't go home again.” When you grow up and leave, that's it, you don't go back home. Presley Joann Benjamin (stage name Presley Jo) believed that was the case for her. Never did she think she would be right back where she started. But her Aunt insisted it was the best for her. She thought for sure her life and career were over until she meets a certain cocky aviator.

Warnings: Alcohol use, cursing, fluff, Jake being an absolute gentleman, Rooster and Coyote being supportive besties, smut (if you are not 18+ do not read), protected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering

A/N: As promised, here is the sexuals. The tag list will be at the end of each chapter.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

It has been about a couple of months since Jake and I’s first date, and things couldn’t have possibly been better. As promised, he texted me goodnight and good morning after our first date, to which I replied he left his jacket. His response? Keep it, he’s gotta mark his territory somehow.

Ever since the night of our first date, he has been so understanding of my anxiety about going out in public on our dates. Since then, he’s been trying to find ways to have dates from home.

We went on a second date a week later, which consisted of us just sitting on the couch at his house eating takeout, and playing board games. Something so simple but felt like everything between us. We just sat around eating and laughing before I left and went home with a simple good-night kiss that I was wishing would turn into more. However, I held myself back because I owed Jake the same respect he was giving me, no matter how badly I wanted to climb the blonde godlike aviator like a tree.

Our third date was amazing. Jake told me he was going to pick me up and take me to the movies. My anxiety couldn’t help but spike again at his words and I reluctantly agreed to his idea. I dressed in comfy clothes as he asked and rode in the car with him to our date, only for him to pull back up at his house. My obvious look of confusion towards him caused him to laugh and help me out of the car before leading me through his house and into his small backyard. My confusion turned to immense shock at the sight in front of me. Jake had fairy lights strung across his backyard to light up the area, a tent set up with a mattress, pillows, and blankets, and a projector and screen set up.

“Jake,” I said in shock.

“I said I was going to take you to the movies,” Jake shrugged at me, looking down at me smugly.

I scoffed at him and shook my head. “How did you-”

“Coyote,” Jake said simply.

I nodded at him in understanding before looking down. “He doesn’t-”

“No, he doesn’t know about you specifically. He just knows that there is a girl I’m trying hard to impress,” He answered quickly, cutting me off again.

I smiled up at him softly before wrapping my arm around his neck. “Well, if you keep trying as hard as you are, things will begin to sway in your favor,” I told him smugly before bringing him down into a kiss.

That night was spent under the stars, watching movies, or at least partially watching movies, there was a lot of kissing that led to some touching. Jake asked me to stay that night, and as much as I wanted to tease him and say no like he did to me on our first date, I decided not to happily stay. The two of us slept in the tent cuddled up together under the stars and listened to the ocean in the background.

It was after the third date and spending such a great night with Jake that I decided I wanted to pull the trigger on finding a place in Fightertown. I realized how much I loved all of our time spent together and that I never wanted to go back to New York. I wanted to be wherever he was. Penny and I started looking everywhere around the area when the two of us had free time, occasionally Bradley and Maverick would join the two of us. Sometimes Jake and I went by ourselves if nobody else was free. Thankfully, money was not a problem so it was fairly easy to find a place I liked, my only stipulations being it was on the beach and had enough space for a music room. I found a place within a month and was moved in within a week. Jake and I are now going into our third month together and this has possibly been the happiest I’ve ever been in a while.

I had been staying in my new house for a few days now, Jake had yet to come over and see it. I had finished unpacking late last night with Penny, Amelia, Mav, and Bradley’s help. Luckily no heavy lifting needed to be done thanks to the movers doing all of it. They drove all of my stuff from New York across the country to Cali after I sold my loft there.

I woke up from a dead sleep in my bed to my phone ringing. Recognizing the ringtone, I grinned and leaned up out of bed, reaching over to my nightstand to grab my phone.

“Good morning, Mr. Eastwood,” I greeted with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning, beautiful. How’s the new house treating you,” He asked me curiously.

“Good, but it’s so lonely. I think it’s missing something,” I told him, trying to hint at him spending some time with me.

Jake chuckled at my words before speaking. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Oh, you know, just spending time at home, all by my lonesome, watching the sunset from my balcony while I wait for my knight in shining flight suit to come and save me,” I sighed, picking at my blanket.

“Well, your knight is also free tonight and has a big surprise for you,” He said smugly.

“Oh, really,” I asked curiously.

“Mhm,” Jake said as I heard a jet taking off on his end of the phone.

“What is it,” I asked again.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise,” He said in amusement. I groaned at his words and heard him chuckle again. “Just wear something fancy.”

“Jake…,” I trailed off in a warning tone.

“Just trust me. I’ll pick you up at 7,” He told me before hanging up.

I scoffed at his words and shook my head at him, leaning up out of bed to get moving for the day.

“What are you going to wear,” Amelia asked me over Facetime as I dug through my walk-in closet.

“I don’t know. He just said it was a surprise and to dress fancy,” I shrugged at her.

“Well that’s helpful,” She said sarcastically as she petted Theo.

I was going through my dresses when I paused at the last one on the rack.

“Amelia, I think it’s time,” I said simply, causing the young girl to gasp.

“You mean-”

“Yes, the third date dress,” I told her, pulling it off the rack and holding it in front of me.

“But this isn’t your third date. It's like your 5th or 6th,” She pointed out.

“No, but tonight that doesn’t matter,” I told her simply before moving to change.

“So, are you going to wear the third date bra too then,” She asked me curiously.

“Um, yeah…,” I trailed off, knowing there was no wearing a bra with this dress.

“You never did tell me what this big surprise was,” I hummed to Jake, turning in my seat to prop my head on my hand resting on the middle console.

“That's precisely what you just said it is. A surprise,” Jake said with a smirk, briefly looking over at me.

“Well, I’d like to know what to expect so that I can have an escape plan from whatever fancy restaurant you are taking me to when the paparazzi inevitably show up,” I informed him, gesturing to the dress he told me to wear and the nice clothing he was also sporting.

“You won’t have to worry about the paparazzi showing up,” Jake reassured me.

“Jake, seriously, it’s going to happen. No matter where you take me-”

“It’s not going to happen tonight, Pres. Trust me,” Jake reassured me, placing a hand on my knee.

I sighed and nodded before shifting in my seat again. We remained silent for about 5 more minutes before Jake told me we were about 5 minutes away and asked me to close my eyes. I give him a look in response causing him to laugh out a “please.” I sighed but did as he asked. We continued driving to the restaurant before we stopped. I felt Jake get out of the car before walking around to my side and opening the door for me. He helped me out of the car before telling who I’m assuming is a valet not to scratch his truck. I scoffed and rolled my eyes before allowing him to lead me into the restaurant.

“Can I open my eyes now,” I asked.

“No, keep them closed until we get to our table,” Jake told me, leading me to the back of the building and out the back doors.

“Oh, we’re eating outside,” I asked with a bright grin.

“With an ocean view. Nothing less for you Pres,” Jake said before pulling a chair out for me and helping me sit down. “Okay, you can open now.”

I opened my eyes and looked around me to see the back deck of the Hard Deck. “The Hard Deck, Jake seriously?”

“It’s not the Hard Deck,” Jake denied, shaking his head in denial and moving to sit across from me.

“Yes, it is. I think I recognize the bar my aunt owns and that I used to work at,” I argued with him, gesturing around me towards the deck.

“We aren’t at the Hard Deck. We’re at Il Mazzo Duro,” He shrugged at me smugly, a smirk on his lips.

I hummed the name to myself in confusion before realization came across my face. “That’s The Hard Deck in Italian,” I pointed out in frustration.

Jake’s smirk immediately dropped and he looked at me in shock. “You know Italian?”

“Of course, I know Italian. My father was Italian,” I argued with him.

Jake continued to look at me in shock before humming and nodding. “Huh, you learn something new every day.”

I shook my head at him in disbelief before looking to my left when somebody walked up the table.

“Hello, and welcome to Il Mazzo Duro. My name is Penny and I am the owner of this fine establishment. Here are your menus, your waiter will be with you soon,” My aunt told the two of us with a smile, a fancy black dress, and high heels donning her body.

I scoffed and shook my head at her in disbelief, accepting my menu and laughing at her wink she shot me before leaving me and Jake on the deck by ourselves. I shook my head and looked over at Jake who had his nose in the menu before him.

“I’m thinking of getting the lobster, what about you beautiful,” Jake asked me curiously, looking over the menu and raising his eyebrows at me. “You haven’t even opened the menu yet. You better figure out what you want before our waiter gets here.”

“What is going on right now,” I asked him, shaking my head in disbelief.

Jake stared at me for a few seconds before he sighed and leaned forward, placing his menu down on the table and placing his hand palm up and open on the table. I looked down at his hand before leaning forward and placing my hand in his own.

“On our first date, you were talking about how you wish you could be normal. You wish you could go out to eat at a crowded restaurant just like every other person and not be completely mobbed by paparazzi or fans. So that’s what we’re doing,” Jake told me, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

“But that’s not what we’re doing. We’re completely alone,” I said, gesturing around me.

“Are we,” Jake asked with a smug smirk.

Right after his words, the back door of the Hard Deck opened and I watched as Maverick led my aunt to a table, followed by Amelia and Theo (who was wearing a bow tie), and Ice and Sarah. I watched them all move to sit at different tables in the area and shook my head in disbelief as tears rose.

“Jake,” I whispered out, sniffling slightly.

“When we first met, before I even knew who you were, I promised myself that I was one, going to get your name, and two, I was going to do everything in my power to keep you happy because that is what you deserve. So let me try and give you this one thing,” Jake told me, squeezing my hand.

I squeezed his hand back before nodding. “Okay.” I took my hand back and opened my menu, looking down at it. “So you got my aunt and her boyfriend, my surrogate aunt and uncle, and my little cousin and her dog in on this. Who else?”

“Well, Coyote was the valet, and don’t worry he didn’t see you,” Jake informed me with a shrug.

“Of course he was,” I said with a chuckle.

“And there’s also-”

“Good evening beautiful lady and average-looking gentleman my name is Bradley and I will be your waiter tonight,” Bradley greeted the two of us, dressed in black slacks with a white button-up, black vest, and black bowtie.

“Of course,” I said in amusement, looking up at my best friend.

“Rooster,” Jake greeted with slight annoyance at his calling him average-looking.

“Can I get the happy couple started with any drinks,” Bradley asked the two of us.

“Bring us the best bottle of wine you have,” Jake told him.

“Thank you, Killer,” I said with a grin and a shake of the head.

“You’re welcome, Queenie. I’ll be back for entrees,” Bradley told the two of us, shooting me a wink before leaving our table.

I shook my head and laughed before looking over at Jake. “You went all out, didn’t you?”

“Like I said, only the best for you Pres,” Jake shrugged at me with a smile.

After his statement, Bradley returned to our table with breadsticks and a bottle of wine, which he showed to Jake, who examined the label before nodding. I shook my head at my two goofballs before accepting my glass of wine with a thank you.

“Have we decided on entrees,” Bradley asked the two of us, pulling a notepad out of his pocket.

“Yes, I will have the lobster,” Jake told him, handing him his menu.

“And for the lady,” Bradley questioned, looking towards me.

“The chicken alfredo, please,” I told him, handing him my menu as well.

“Coming right up,” He told the two of us before walking away.

Jake lifted his wine glass and held it out towards me in the form of cheers. “To being normal for one night.”

“To be normal,” I said with a smile, clinking my glass against his before taking a sip.

Jake did the same and set his glass down before leaning forward onto the table and looking at me curiously. “So you know Italian?”

“Mhm, my father was Italian. My grandfather met my grandmother in Italy while he was stationed there. He married her and brought her to America where they had my dad,” I told him, placing my wine down and resting my head on my hands.

“Tell me something in Italian,” He told me with a bright grin.

“Anything,” I asked him, a smirk building on my face.

“Anything at all,” He nodded.

“Are you sure,” I asked again.

“Positive,” He confirmed.

“Okay, um… Sei il mio bel cowboy, e non vedo l'ora di portarti a fare un giro speciale più tardi,” I said with a smirk, grabbing my wine from the table and taking another sip afterward.

I watched Jake’s lips curve into a smirk and his eyes clouded over with lust before he released a breath and shook his head. “Damn, baby girl. I think that was just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” He breathed out, his accent thicker than usual.

“You don’t even know what I said,” I pointed out.

“Well, you could always tell me,” He offered up.

“Hm, I could. Or I could also let you wait and find out what I said later,” I said seductively, biting my lip.

Jake's eyes were immediately drawn to my lips and his eyes darkened even more when Bradley came over to our table and placed our food down in front of us. I thanked him with a bright smile and began to dig into my pasta as Jake started on his lobster. We continued a light conversation, talking about how work has been for him and how moving into my own home has been for me. He scolded me for moving heavy furniture by myself and I reassured him that I had the movers doing all of the work. We then moved on to the topic of his family. He had his mom and dad and three sisters, one older and two younger. All of them have settled down and had kids of their own. His oldest sister has two little girls, his middle sister has a daughter and son, and his youngest sister has two girls and two boys. He went on to tell me about how all of his nieces love me and my music and one of them just had a Presley Jo-themed birthday party.

“I didn’t know that was a thing,” I chuckled, thinking of all the little girls running around dressed as me at a children's birthday party.

“Well, my sisters and Mom made it a thing,” Jake told me, a fond grin on his face.

“I’d love to meet them someday,” I told him with a soft smile.

Jake looked back at me and grinned softly as well before giving me an adamant nod. “And you will. One day. When you feel safe and comfortable enough to let the world know, I’ll let the other important women in my life know.”

“You don’t have to keep me a complete secret from them, Jake. You can at least let them know you’re seeing somebody,” I reassured him.

“I know that… Now. I just didn’t want to make you feel pressured or feel forced into anything,” He argued with me.

I reached out and placed my hand on top of his arm and rubbed it soothingly. “You aren’t forcing me into anything. I’m all in. Willingly.”

Jake moved his arm to grasp my hand and began rubbing his thumb across the back of it before a soft smile overtook his face again. “All in, huh?”

I nodded at him and gazed into his eyes as Bradley came walking up to our table again. “I hope you guys saved room for dessert.”

Jake broke our gaze and looked up at Bradley to reply, but I cut him off. “We did. We’ll just take it to go.”

Bradley raised his eyebrow at me and I sent him a look with my eyes that helped him catch on.

“Oh! I will get that to go. I will go do that right now. As soon as possible,” Bradley nodded at me in understanding, rushing off to grab our dessert.

Jake turned and watched Bradley rush into the Hard Deck before turning and looking at me with raised eyebrows.

“What do you say we go back to my place and you find out what I said earlier,” I questioned him with a seductive smirk.

A smirk broke out on Jake’s face as well before he nodded in agreement. “Yes, ma’am.”

Jake refused to take his hand off my leg the entire drive back to my house. He alternated between squeezing my knee and running his hand up my thigh before resting it on my knee again. My left hand remained resting on the forearm of his hand, rubbing my thumb along his arm as he drove. When we reached my house, he pulled into the driveway before throwing his truck into the park. He looked over at me and softly told me to wait before climbing out of the car and moving around it to open my door for me. I turned to the side and Jake moved his way in between my legs, looking up at me with a soft smile. I smiled back at him and ran my hands from his shoulders and up into the back of his hair.

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight, darlin’,” He asked me softly.

“I’ve never been more sure about something in my life,” I told him softly before placing a kiss on his lips.

Jake hummed and deepened the kiss, placing his hands on my thighs and slowly moving them up to my waist, bunching my black dress up as he moved his hands. I released a breath and briefly skimmed my tongue along his lips before gripping his bottom lip in my teeth and tugging at it, releasing it after. Jake groaned and squeezed my hips before pulling away.

“I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me beautiful,” Jake rasped out to me.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” I whispered to him, giving his hair a soft tug before releasing.

I reached behind me and gripped our dessert in my hand before hopping down from my seat in the truck. I grabbed my clutch from the floorboard and reached into it to grab my keys before walking around Jake to walk up to my house. I looked behind me to see Jake closing the door to his truck, but not taking his eyes off of my form. I smirked at him before looking back forward and swinging my hips as I walked up my front porch to my front door. I unlocked my door and walked in, hearing Jake following close behind me. I took my heels off as Jake took his shoes off as well. He reached forward took dessert from my hands and moved toward my kitchen and I moved toward the stairs to go to my bedroom. I walked down the hall to the last room on the left and walked inside. I walked over to my vanity and placed my clutch down. I then moved to stand at the end of my bed and waited for Jake to join me.

“Last chance to change your mind, beautiful. Because once I get started, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop,” Jake said softly as he walked into my room, standing behind me at the foot of my bed.

I smirked before repeating what I said earlier. “Sei il mio bellissimo cowboy e non vedo l'ora di portarti a fare un giro speciale.”

“What does that mean,” Jake breathed out, moving my hair from my shoulder and beginning to run his nose softly along my neck, leaving soft kisses in his wake.

“You’re my handsome cowboy, and I can’t wait to take you for a special ride,” I breathed out, leaning back into him.

Jake let out a growl before gripping my waist tightly in his hands and pulling me back against him. He used one hand to hold my hair out of his way and the other wrapped around my waist. I reached up behind me and wrapped my arm around the back of his head, threading my fingers in his hair while my other hand gripped his arm wrapped around me. I gave soft tugs on his hair as Jake began devouring my neck, leaving kisses and love bites up and down the expanse of it. My grip became tighter and I tugged harder when Jake attacked the sweet spot at the back of my ear, causing him to release a groan of pleasure. I released a moan of pleasure in return and tightened my grip on the arm around my waist that was now holding me upright. Jake released his hold around my waist and slowly let his hand trail across my abdomen and around my back. He then brought his hand up to rest on the tie that was holding my dress up on my shoulder.

“Can I,” Jake breathed out in my ear, gripping my earlobe between his teeth after, and tugging at It.

“Yes, please, Jake. I want you to touch me,” I breathed out in response, nodding my head eagerly.

Jake released my hair and brought his other hand to rest on the zipper on the back of my dress. He pulled it down before placing his hands on both ties on my shoulders. He released the knots of both, causing my dress to slide down my body and rest around my feet on the floor. I spun in my spot, kicking my dress out of the way in the process. I looked up at Jake and bit my lip nervously as he stared down at me, taking in my bare breasts and my black lace underwear.

“You’re beautiful,” He breathed out before leaning down and kissing me.

I eagerly returned the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, entangling one of my hands in his hair again and continuing to tug at it. Our kiss quickly became even more heated and I allowed Jake's tongue to invade my mouth. Jake placed his hands on my waist and moved them slowly down my sides, over my butt, and down to my thighs.

“Jump,” Jake breathed out against my lips, causing me to do so without breaking my kiss with him.

Jake placed one arm around my back to keep me pressed against him and another on my thigh to keep my legs wrapped around his waist. He stepped forward and placed a knee on the bed before leaning forward and laying me down. Our kiss did not break as my back gently came in contact with the bed and Jake slotted himself between my legs. I released a moan as his pelvis grinded down against mine and I rutted against him to try and feel the friction again.

“Oh, god, Jake,” I moaned out against his lips, breathing heavily as he began trailing kisses down my neck again.

I reached down and gripped Jake’s hand resting on my waist in my own and began guiding it up my chest until it rested on my left breast, my chest heaving up and down in his palm. Jake groaned and trailed his kisses down in between my breasts where he rested his forehead for a moment.

“You are going to be the death of me,” He breathed against my chest before moving his head to my right breast, sucking my nipple into his mouth as his other hand began playing with my breast.

“At least you’ll die a happy man,” I moaned out, gripping his hair in my hands and pulling.

Jake let out a groan of agreement as he continued paying attention to my right breast. He sucked and licked at the skin before gripping the nipple between his teeth and giving a slight tug. He smirked up at me when I released a borderline pornographic moan at his actions.

“Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t been touched by anyone in so long,” I breathed out to him.

“Well then, let’s change that shall we,” Jake said before switching breasts and repeating his previous actions on my left breast, his hand playing with my right and eliciting more moans from me.

“Jake, I need you to touch me,” I moaned out.

Jake released my left breast with a pop and began kissing his way back up my chest, to my neck, and my jaw, then placing a breathless kiss on my lips.

“How do you want me, Darlin’,” He breathed out against my lips.

“I just need to feel something, please,” I begged him, connecting my lips back to his and removing my hands from where they were tangled in his hair.

I trailed my hands from around his neck and down to his button-up to begin working on removing it. My hand fumbled down the length of his shirt as I tried to unbutton it as quickly as possible. Once I reached the last button, I brought my hands to Jake’s shoulders to remove the currently offensive fabric. Jake assisted me in my endeavor and wasted no time in pulling the fabric down his arms and tossing it haphazardly across my room. With the fabric no longer in the way, his dog tags were able to hang freely from his neck and run along my chest. I let my hands run down the toned plains of his chest and down to his abs, feeling the rock-hard muscle beneath my fingers. I then let my fingers trail down farther to his dress pants, letting my fingers hook in the belt loops and give a tug, causing Jake’s pelvis to once again come in contact with my own. I released a moan at the contact and allowed my hands to trail lower past Jake’s belt and to the growing member straining against his pants. I let my hands trail over the shape and squeezed slightly, causing Jake to break from our kiss to release a groan of immense pleasure. Jake reached down and grasped my hands in his own and pulled them up to place a kiss on each of them.

“This is all about you Darlin’,” He told me softly, taking both of my hands and placing them back on his neck.

I smiled softly up at him at his words and gripped his chain in one of my hands, pulling him down to connect my lips back to his. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips before trailing his kisses down my neck, to my chest, down my stomach, before stopping at my black lace panties. He looked up at me with a questioning look, and all it took was a soft nod from me for him to grip my underwear in his hands and slowly tug them down my legs. He trailed kisses in the fabric's wake until they were completely removed, tossing them over his shoulder. He then trailed kisses back up my legs, leaving some on the inside of my thighs, before placing another one just above where I wanted him the most. He raised himself from the bed and away from me, causing me to whine in protest and reach for him.

“Let me see all of you, Darlin’,” He said breathlessly, looking down at me with adoration.

I smirked at him before opening my legs wide, allowing him to see everything I had to offer him. Jake groaned at the sight and ran a hand down his face.

“All of this for me,” He breathed out.

I nodded at him wordlessly before reaching forward and gripping his hand in my own once again. I looked up at him and stared into his eyes as I guided his hand down to where I needed him most. Jake released a groan when he felt how wet I was and I released his hand to let him do as he pleased. Jake ran his fingers along my folds, gathering my wetness as he did. I couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of him touching me so delicately, feeling like I could combust right now and he hasn’t even properly touched me yet.

“Jake, please,” I breathed out, looking up at him desperately.

Jake listened to my pleas and delicately slid a single finger into my entrance, bringing his thumb up to rub at my clit at the same time. Jake leaned back forward, holding himself up with his free hand, and brought me into a searing kiss. I couldn’t help but arch my back up into him and grip the bedsheets tightly in my fists. I broke away from Jake and brought my hands up to cup his face. 

“Jake, I need more,” I breathed against his lips, desperate to reach my first high.

I felt Jake nod before sliding one more finger in with his first and resuming our desperate kisses. The pleasure was so blinding that I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like when he was actually inside of me. Jake began pumping his fingers in and out of me, spreading me wide with his fingers occasionally. I couldn’t help myself and began grinding myself against his hand, feeling the cool metal of his graduation ring occasionally graze against my heat. Jake, seeing this, began curling his fingers while inside of me, searching for that sweet spot I desperately craved for him to find. When he finally came in contact with it, I reached down and gripped his arm tightly in my own, breaking our kisses once again.

“Fuck, right there. Don’t stop, please, I’m so close,” I told him, feeling my climax beginning to come quickly.

Upon hearing my words, Jake removed his fingers from their current location. I gasped in shock and looked up at him in disbelief before I watched him bring his hand up to his lips and suck his fingers clean of my arousal. My skin burned like fire at his actions and I couldn’t help but reach for him, pulling him back to me and bringing my lips to his, tasting myself in our kiss. Jake broke the kiss himself this time and trailed kisses down my neck, and my chest and paid special attention to my breasts briefly, before trailing his lips down my abdomen and stopping above my clit. His breath fanned softly across it as he looked up at me with a smirk. I raised myself onto my elbows to look down at him, lifting one of my hands to run through his hair.

“Don’t worry Darlin’. I’ll get you there again,” Jake reassured me before diving in like a man who didn’t just have dinner less than an hour ago.

“Oh, god,” I moaned out, falling onto my back and tightening my grip on his hair.

I couldn’t stop the mewls and moans as Jake licked a stripe from my entrance to my clit before focusing on my sensitive bud. He sucked and lapped at the bundle of nerves as he threw both of my legs over his shoulders and yanked me to the end of the bed so he could have proper access. He placed a hand on my abdomen to prevent me from moving and used his other to hold my thighs open properly. I felt the distinct pinch of his teeth tugging on my clit and felt myself jump briefly, Jake struggling to hold me down at my unexpected jolt.

“Fuck, Jake.”

Jake let his tongue trail down to my soaking entrance and delved in with his tongue, letting it poke and prod at my entrance a few times before returning to my clit and sliding his fingers back inside of me. I felt myself begin to tingle with anticipation of my release, the coil inside of my belly beginning to tighten with every swipe of his tongue and every insertion of his fingers.

“Jake, I’m close,” I told him, my legs beginning to tighten in his grip.

“Let go, Darlin’. Don’t hold anything back,” He breathed out against me before continuing his work.

“Oh. Oh, god,” I moaned, gripping his hair tighter with one hand and bringing my other hand to grip my breast, kneading and pinching the mound.

The coil became tighter and tighter until- 

“I- I’m,” I didn’t get to finish my statement before I released on Jake's tongue and fingers, feeling the aviator lap up my juices until I was finished.

He raised from his position and hovered over me, wiping his chin with his hand and looking at me smugly.

“How was that, Darlin’,” Jake questioned smugly.

“I think you’re the first guy to find my clit without any sort of guidance. That was so hot,” I breathed, reaching forward and gripping his dog tags in my grip.

I pulled him down to me and placed my lips against his again, him placing his hands back on my waist. I let my hand trail down his body once again and began pulling at his belt, releasing the item from the buckle and pulling it from his pants. I then unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down before finding the waistband to his boxer briefs. I gripped the waistband briefly before releasing it, letting it snap back into place against his waist and smirking against Jake’s lips when he flinched slightly. I returned my hand to its previous position and slipped it past the waistband of his underwear, gripping his hard member in my hand. I brought my thumb to the tip and gathered the precum at the end, swirling it around the head and using it as lubrication to begin pumping Jake’s cock. Jake bucked into my hand briefly before breaking our kiss and reaching down to grab my hand in his own, pulling it from his underwear.

��Darlin’, as much as I love having my dick in your hand, and trust me, I do, I would much rather be inside you right now,” He breathed out against my lips.

I nodded at him in acknowledgment. “Okay. I need you inside of me.”

Jake groaned and nodded back. “Lay down.”

I quickly moved to lie down on my back at the head of the bed, resting my head against the pillows. I watched as Jake stripped himself of his pants and underwear, standing before me at the end of the bed, in all his glory. I moaned at the sight of his cock, and felt myself grow even wetter at the thought of it filling me up completely. Jake slowly crawled up the bed until he was hovering over me and placed a delicate kiss on my lips before pulling away.

“Are you-,” He started, but I cut him off.

“I’m on birth control. But I would still much rather use a condom. It’s our first time together and you can never be too safe,” I told him.

Jake nodded at me in understanding. “I have one in my wallet,” He started, moving to go to the end of the bed.

“Don’t worry about it. I have some in my bedside table,” I told him, gesturing to the table on the right side of my bed and not wanting him to move too far away from me.

Jake smirked at me before reaching for my drawer, pulling it open, and reaching in to grab a condom from the box. Jake ripped the package open and withdrew the rubber, throwing the package to the side and moving to slide the condom down his length. When he had it placed properly, he leaned back over me, resting on his forearms, and looked into my eyes. He brought his hand up and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.

“I’m going to go slow. Let me know if I’m hurting you, okay,” Jake whispered to me.

I nodded at him and leaned up to bring him into another kiss as he positioned himself at my entrance, letting the tip of his cock run up towards my clit before trailing back down. I moaned at the feeling and brought my legs up to wrap around his waist. I tightened them, causing Jake to move closer to me and his cock to poke even more at my entrance. Sensing my urgency, Jake let the head of his cock enter me, giving me a moment to acquaint myself with the stretch. I moaned as he waited a moment before pushing further in until he was about halfway inside me.

“You can go all the way, Jake. I can take it,” I reassured him, wrapping my arms around his neck and threading one of my hands into his hair.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Darlin’,” Jake expressed.

“You won’t. I promise,” I reassured him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Jake nodded before pressing himself completely inside me. The two of us simultaneously released moans of pleasure followed by a breathless expression of “You’re so big” and Jake’s  statement of “You’re so tight.” Jake rested his forehead against my own as he waited for me to adjust to his size, occasionally placing a kiss on my nose and cheeks.

“Are you okay, Darlin’,” Jake asked me softly.

I nodded, wrapping my arms under his own and around his shoulders, leaning up to place a kiss on his lips.

“Can I move,” He asked, beginning to breathe heavily due to his restraint.

I took a deep breath myself and focused on the feeling of Jake inside me. I moaned softly, and bucked my hips, nodding at him.

“Yes, please.”

Jake nodded back before he started moving. He withdrew himself briefly before pushing back in and beginning a torturously slow pace. I moaned at his movement, feeling him move in and out of me, my walls fluttering and squeezing him as he moved. Jake thrust two… three more times before adjusting his position, raising himself to rest his weight on his hands in an attempt to reach my sweet spot. I couldn’t help but clench at the new position, causing him to groan in pleasure and stutter his hips.

“If you keep squeezin’ me like that, I’m not going to last long.”

“You haven’t had sex with anybody but your hand since you met me, I didn’t expect you to last very long anyways,” I breathlessly said to him, a smirk taking over my face.

Jake looked down at me in slight shock before smirking back at me. “You little…”

Jake trailed off and began thrusting inside of me again, immediately hitting my G-spot with his quick, unexpected thrust. My back arched off the bed in response and I tightened my legs around his waist. Jake continued his quick thrusts instead of returning to his torturously slow pace from before. I moaned at the feeling of him inside me, feeling him fill me up totally and completely before receding and repeating the process. Jake leaned down and began an assault on my breasts once again, placing kisses on the mounds before taking the pert nipples into his mouth, sucking and nibbling as he pleased. I moaned in pleasure at the combination before I took his distraction to my advantage. I tightened my legs around his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck before trying to gain leverage and flip Jake onto his back, myself now on top. Jake remained inside me throughout my actions and I felt him twitch inside me at the new position, placing one hand on my thigh and the other on my waist as a smirk formed once again.

“What the hell is this, Darlin’? I said tonight was about you,” Jake reminded me.

“And I told you I couldn't wait to take you for a ride if I remember correctly,” I responded to him breathlessly. 

I adjusted my position above Jake, still not removing him from inside me as I did so. Jake bucked his hips up into me at my movements, causing him to hit my G-spot once again with his actions. I paused in my movement and briefly clenched, causing the two of us to moan in unison, Jake's hands tightening their grip slightly on my waist. I paused for a moment and stared down at the pleasure on Jake’s face before moving again. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and braced myself on his chest before leaning down to capture his lips with my own again. It was a chaste kiss that had Jake chasing me for more as I pulled away, fully sitting up with me and looking up at me with adoration. I placed another peck on his lips and smiled at him softly, running my fingers through his hair before remaining tangled in the hair on the back of his head. Jake smiled back at me, bringing his hand resting on my waist up to brush some of my hair back behind my ear before resting it on my cheek and pulling me into a kiss that quickly became all teeth and tongue. Jake trailed his hand from my cheek, down my jaw and neck, across my chest, stopping briefly to knead my breast in his hand before wrapping his arm around my waist instead of placing his hand where it was previously. I wrapped one of my arms around his neck and began moving my hips, bouncing up and down on him. He tightened his arm that was wrapped around my waist to bring me closer and brought his other hand up to grip my ass, helping me with my movements on top of him. We broke our kiss, our foreheads pressing together as our breaths intermingled with strangled moans escaping from the both of us.

“You’re taking me so well Darlin,” Jake groaned out, not stopping with his assistance in my movements.

I breathed out a moan in response, letting my forehead fall against Jake’s shoulder as he placed kisses along my shoulder. I continued bouncing on him, feeling myself slowly build up to release.

“I’m getting close,” I whimpered into his ear, letting my tongue dart out and lick along his neck, nipping lightly at his shoulder.

Jake nodded in response, bringing one of his hands down to rub at my clit. I moaned at the added stimulation, lifting myself from his shoulder and staring down at him. Jake looked up at me and brought his head forward to take my breast in his mouth, sucking on it and biting my nipple.

“Oh, fuck,” I breathed out, feeling the knot in my stomach grown tighter.

I brought my other hand back around Jake’s threaded my hands back in his hair and tugged causing him to groan against my chest. I could feel the pressure in my abdomen building and building before it finally burst, causing me to release the loudest and lewdest moan I’ve ever released in my life. Jake continued to assist me in riding out my high, flipping us back over, thrusting three more times before he came as well, continuing his thrusts to help us both through our orgasm. When we both were finished Jake allowed himself to collapse onto the bed beside me, the two of us breathing heavily from our activities.

“After seeing you ride me as well as you did just now, darlin’, I can’t wait to take you back home and see you ride an actual horse,” Jake panted out between breaths, causing me to burst into a fit of giggles, him following shortly after me.

“So, I told you all about my family tonight. I think it’s only fair that you tell me all about yours,” Jake requested as the two of us rested in a hot bubble bath following our activities.

“Well, what do you want to know,” I asked him, taking another bite out of the chocolate cake that was supposed to be our dessert at the Hard Deck.

“Everything,” Jake replied, placing a kiss on the side of my head before accepting the bite of cake I offered him.

I sighed and nodded before turning so I could rest my back against his chest.

“My mom met my dad when she was 21, he was about 23. Grandpa Benjamin thought she was old enough to start attending Navy events with the family. She met my dad at the Navy ball, the first event she ever attended. He was there with my Pops and Nonna. Like I said before, Pops was in the Navy and Dad decided to follow in his footsteps, wanted to make him proud. From what I understand, he was obsessed with my mom the first moment he saw her. At least, that’s what Mav and Ice say,” I told him, leaning my head back to rest on his shoulder.

“They knew your parents,” Jake asked curiously.

“Mhm. So did Bradley’s,”  I told him, feeling tears build up in my eyes at the thought of my parents. “Anyways, he, uh, walked right up to my mom, not realizing she was the daughter of an admiral, and introduced himself, asked her to dance. Do you know why my parents named me Presley?”

“Let me guess, the first song they danced to was “Can’t Help Falling in Love”,” Jake asked smugly, wrapping his arms around me.

“No, actually, it was “Love Me Tender.” Good guess though,” I said sarcastically, giving his arm a pinch. “The two of them fell in love that night and couldn’t get enough of each other from that moment on. Then a few years later they got married and along came me. They had all the support they needed from mom’s family and all their friends. Dad’s parents weren’t a big fan though. They didn’t like how mom stuck up for dad and refused to let them treat him how they did.”

“Do you have much of a relationship with your dad's parents,” Jake asked curiously.

“No, they both passed when I was young, but that’s not the only reason. From the stories, Penny told me, Dad never got along with the two of them. Pops was pissed when he found out Dad was going to be an aviator instead of a seal. He got over it eventually, but it still was something he constantly poked at Dad for any chance he got. Dad had a falling out with them when he told them he was going to ask mom to marry him. When she got pregnant with me, Pops tried to reconcile with him for the sake of Nonna having contact with her grandchild, but it didn’t go over too well. Dad ended up telling him my last name would be Benjamin because his future child didn’t deserve to be connected to an asshole like him,” I murmured.

“How were things after that,” Jake asked curiously.

“From what I remember, Mom and Dad were great and happy. Deployments were always hard, but Mom tried as hard as she could to make it easier. We had this thing where every Friday after school she would come and pick me up, then we would stop and get takeout somewhere, then we would come home and watch “The Princess Bride.” Then, before bed Dad would normally call and read me a story,” I said fondly.

“‘The Princess Bride’? Really,” Jake asked me in disbelief.

“Hey, it was my favorite as a kid and it’s a classic. It’s still my comfort movie to this day,” I defended.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind, Buttercup,” Jake said with a smirk.

I groaned at his words. “I didn’t tell you so you could come up with a new nickname for me.”

“Well too late now,” Jake chuckled, placing a kiss behind my ear. “What happened with your parents?”

“Surprisingly, Dad didn’t die while deployed. He and mom were in a car accident. They went to a friend's wedding out of town, I was staying with Penny that night. They were driving back home and were t-boned by a drunk driver who ran a red light. Their car spun out and slammed into a pole,” I explained to him, fighting back the tears.

“I’m sorry,” Jake whispered to me.

“It’s okay. Sometimes I just sit here and wonder what life would be like now if they were still around. And I wonder if they’re proud of me, wherever they are,” I said quietly.

“I guarantee you they are,” Jake reassured me.

I just hummed in response, leaning my head on his chest and letting my eyes close. Jake noticing this, decided to call it a night.

“Come on, Princess. Let’s get you to bed,” Jake whispered to me, helping me lean up and climbing out of the tub with me, drying me off and getting me into bed.

As I was drifting off to sleep I noticed that for the first time in a long time, I didn’t have a problem with being called “Princess.”

The moonlight streamed through the windows and cast a glow on the couple lying with each other in bed. Presley sucked in a deep breath before turning over. Just as the clock struck midnight she shot up in bed with wide eyes.

“This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse so you must like me for me,” she muttered to herself in deep thought before hopping out of bed.

She leaned down and grabbed Jake's shirt from the floor, pulling it on and buttoning it, grabbing her underwear and slipping them on as well before rushing out of the room. She ran down the hall and downstairs, running through the halls downstairs humming the tune to herself over and over again until she reached her music room. She continued humming as she rushed over to the closet and yanked the door open, pulling boxes out and throwing everything in them out onto the floor. Digging through a few until she found what she was looking for, her notebook. She dug in the box until she found a pen then moved to the piano, writing down everything that was running through her mind.

Jake woke up alone in bed. He furrowed his brows in his sleep and rolled over, reaching out for Presley. His eyes shot open when he noticed her side of the bed was cold. He leaned up and looked over, seeing her missing. He looked around the room and saw no sign of the girl still being present. He climbed out of bed and grabbed his underwear off the floor, pulling them on before walking out into the hallway. He stuck his head out and looked down the hall.

“Pres,” he called out.

When he received no answer back he walked down the hall and looked inside each room until he reached the top of the stairs. He stood at the top and looked down, calling out for Presley again. He strained to listen when he heard something and walked down the stairs, the noise getting louder as he went. He followed the noise through the living room and grinned when he realized it was the piano. He followed the sound to the music room and peeked in, seeing his girlfriend leaning over the piano writing quick notes before staring at them in thought and playing the piano again. He leaned against the doorway as he witnessed her process, seeing her mark words out before sighing in frustration and rewriting them.

“What's up, Buttercup,” Jake called out to her, watching her jump slightly before looking back at him.

“I'm sorry if I woke you,” she told him softly before going back to her notebook.

“You didn't,” he reassured her, moving into the room and standing behind her.

“I just had to get this written down before I forgot it all,” she explained to him, looking over the words she had written down.

“What are you writing,” he asked her curiously, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder and placing a few kisses against her neck.

“My newest lightning strike of inspiration,” she said simply, placing her hands over the keys before playing. “Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black. Come here, you can meet me in the back. Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you. Oh damn, never seen that color green. Just think of the fun things we could do. This ain’t for the best. My reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me. We can’t make any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate.”

She stopped playing and Jake lifted his head from her shoulder, kissing the side of her head before whispering in her ear. “Good to know that I’m your muse.”

Presley couldn’t help but smile and blush at his words, shaking her head at him. “You’re more than that.”

“Am I? I think you’re just using me for inspiration now,”  He joked with her, kissing her neck. Presley moved her head to the side to give Jake more space. He brushed her hair out of the way and nipped and sucked at her neck as she released small moans at his actions. “Come back to bed, I’ll give you some more inspiration.”

Presley could feel his smirk against the skin of her neck, and she was tempted to say yes, but she couldn’t go back to bed yet. She shook her head and shrugged Jake off. “I can’t. I have to finish this. I’m almost done. I just have one more verse.”

Jake released himself from her neck and furrowed his brows as he pouted at his girlfriend. She ignored him as she focused back on her notebook. Jake finally took the time to look at her notebook and see all of the notes and work.

“Presley,” Jake said, gaining the girl's attention with a ‘hm?’ in response. “Exactly how long have you been up working on this,” He questioned in a tone of suspicion.

Presley released a sigh of frustration at his question. “Not that long. I’ve only been up for” She cut herself off when she looked up at the clock in the music room, seeing the hour hand on 3. “3 hours…,” She trailed off sheepishly.

“3 hours,” Jake exclaimed in shock.

“I guess I lost track of time,” She said sheepishly, turning to look at her boyfriend and finally taking the time to notice his messy hair and boxer briefs.

Jake shook his head at her before sighing. “Come on, you’re going back to bed.”

He reached to grab her but she wiggled out of his grip and moved to climb on top of the piano, knocking her notebook and pen to the ground and causing an unpleasing noise from stepping on the keys. Jake grabbed her ankle and pulled her closer to him, kicking the cover of the keys and making it snap shut.

“No, I don’t want to go to bed,” She said childishly, trying to kick Jake’s grip from her ankle.

“It’s either you come to bed or I join you on top of the piano,” He said childishly, not letting go of her ankle.

Presley stopped moving and turned over onto her back, slowly leaning up onto her elbows to look down at the blonde aviator.

“That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea,” She said seductively to him.

Jake, hearing her tone of voice and seeing where she was going smirked at her. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Princess.”

Presley only smirked, sitting up on top of the piano and staring down at Jake seductively as she reached up to her chest and began to slowly unbutton Jake’s dress shirt she was still wearing. Jake groaned at the newly exposed skin, watching her continue down until the shirt was sitting open, exposing her chest but still hiding her breasts and showing off the black lace underwear she had placed back on.

“Oh, the things you do to me, Darlin’,” He groaned out to her before moving directly in front of her, gripping the black lace underwear in both of his hands and tugging them down her legs in one quick movement, throwing them over his shoulder before positioning himself in front of her. He then grabbed both of her legs and threw them over his shoulders before absolutely devouring her like a starved man on top of the piano.

“Oh, fuck, Jake,” She immediately moaned out, reaching down to grip his hair in her hand.

Presley allowed herself to sink back on the piano, laying across the top of it and sliding as Jake pulled her closer to the edge for better access. She tightened her grip on his hair as he ran his tongue through her folds before focusing his attention on her clit, sucking the bud into his mouth before nipping at it with his teeth. Presley brought her other hand up to her chest and moved Jake’s shirt from where it was covering her breasts. She then gripped one of her heaving breasts in her hand and began kneading the flesh, occasionally tweaking her sensitive nipples. Jake looked up at her from where he was devouring her to take in the sight before him. He felt himself grow hard as she assisted in working herself to the edge, groaning at the sight. Jake focused back on his task, letting his tongue run down her folds before fucking her hole with his tongue.

“Oh, god, keep going,” Presley moaned, releasing her nipple to run her hand down her body.

She let her fingers run down to begin stroking her clit as Jake continued his work, but the aviator was quick to slap her hand away and move one of his own in her place, rubbing his thumb over her clit in figure 8’s as he continued tongue fucking her.

“Oh, fuck, Jake, I’m close,” She whimpered out to him.

“Give me all you got, Princess,” He demanded before diving back in.

Presley’s breathing increased as she felt the knot in her stomach grow tighter and tighter before it released, a moan of Jake’s name falling from her lips. Jake continued, working Presley through her orgasm and eagerly lapping up all of her juices. She continued breathing heavily as she came down from her high, Jake leaned up from his position, wiping his mouth and laying her legs back down. He began kissing her thighs, leading up to her hips, placing kisses there before gripping them in his hands, pulling her towards him and off the piano, kissing his way up her abdomen, and across her chest. Paid special attention to her breasts, leaving open-mouthed kisses on her nipples, sucking and nipping them between his teeth before releasing them, traveling back up her chest and her neck before placing another kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and moaning as she tasted herself on his tongue. Jake broke the kiss, placing a peck on her lips, nose, and cheeks before stopping and placing one on her forehead.

“Come on, Princess. Let’s go to bed,” He whispered to her.

“Okay,” She whispered back eyes already falling shut. “What about you though,” She brought up, reaching forward to the waistband of his underwear when she noticed the prominent bulge.

“Don’t worry about me Buttercup. You’re more important,” He reassured her, adjusting his shirt to cover her once again before picking her up bridal style and carrying her back upstairs to bed.

Taglist: @buckysteveloki-me@hookslove1592 @smoothdogsgirl @mrsevans90

[mustainegf]

This is a crazy sad idea I had the other night

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ¹⁹⁸⁷

I wake up to the pitter of rain against the windows. The air was dead, with the smell of old wood and the remains of cigarette smoke from the night before. The house held its breath. Lying there, in sheets that smell of memories, the leather and aftershave smell with the damp air and cleaving to everything in this room. His room.

James has left his space this way ever since, the mess of records that he insists have some sort of order, utter chaos to anyone else. Guitars leaned against the wall, scattered papers on the desk. Hard to tell, really. A few half empty beer bottles remained on the nightstand, one of them with the label peeling off where his fingers had unconsciously picked at it.

I sit up and blink away fogginess in my head. My body is heavy, I'm trying to move underwater. Really, I don't want to get up. I want to be wrapped in the warmth of this room, in the memories that lean against me from every corner. But I know I cannot stay here forever. The guys will be up soon, and we'll all gather in the kitchen, making laugh, eat whatever we can find, making plans for the day. It's 1987, and life moves fast. Even if I don't feel like keeping up.

Lately, James has been different. Quieter. Or maybe I'm just noticing things that were always there. The way he sometimes stares off into space, his fingers tapping out rhythms for his own ears. The way he lingers a little too long in doorways, expecting something or someone to appear. He doesn't talk about it, though. None of us do. We just keep going, acting like everything is okay.

Maybe he's downstairs already, fiddling with his guitar, a low hum of his voice humming along to whatever song's in his head. I smile at the thought. James Hetfield. My roommate, my best friend, and sometimes... I don't know what. Something more, maybe. Or something less. It's hard to define what we are.

I drag myself out of his bed and into my jeans,the necklace around my neck is getting heavier with the days. The little locket inside, the one I never take off, a picture of him. I rarely open it. I don't have to. I can pull up his face on the screen in my head anytime. Those diamond cut blue eyes, that wonky smile capable of illuminating the whole damn room.

I trudge softly down the stairs, trying not to make any noise. I used to joke this place was haunted, maybe the ghosts of musicians still waited here, looking for their chance at popularity. James would laugh at me for it, calling me ridiculous, but sometimes. Sometimes, I truly wish it were. And maybe it is.

But it's still an empty kitchen. No James, no one else. Just the light patter of rain, the ticking of the clock on the wall. My face droops immediately. He's probably out in the garage, messing with his guitar, or he went for a drive. That's what he sometimes does when his head needs clearing. I'm fine. I'll see him later.

I sit at the table, running my fingers over the grain of the wood in an absent circle. The house is too quiet. Too still. I shut my eyes and try to recall the last conversation we had, but it's all hazy, reaching for smoke. My mind drifts and for one moment, I might have sworn I heard him, his voice calling my name up the hallway. I snap my eyes open and my heart's racing. But there's nobody.

Just the house. Just me.

I shake my head, feeling pathetic. Need to stop doing this, stop waiting for things that aren't there. I'm not some little girl anymore.

But still… I was hoping the house was haunted.

I lie later on his bed, gazing up at the ceiling, the Scorpions poster on his ceiling boring an image into my skull. The rain has calmed. I have no idea why I am in here. I should do anything else, do something else. Instead, I draw his pillow closer to me, inhaling into the now-faint scent of him that still clings to the fabric. I know if i keep breathing it in, it'll only smell like me. And that's no good.

I simply wish that he would just come back now.

I heard the opening of the door behind me, and my heart leaps half a second, hoping it is him, but it isn't. It's Cliff.

He steps inside, his eyes soft as they land on me, knowing exactly what's going on. That's always been him, kind and patient. He doesn't say anything, not for a minute or so, just walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, his weight sinking into the mattress.

And then I don't know why, but I just start crying. It's out of nowhere, tears spilling down my cheeks before I can even attempt to stop them. They soak into James' pillow like a hello. It's kind of really embarrassing, actually. I'm not a crier. But here I am, sobbing into James's pillow like some sort of broken thing, and I have no idea why.

Cliff says nothing more, but reaches out and gently brushes my hair from off my face, and I imagine his touch is James'.

"He loved you, you know," Cliff says in a voice soft enough that it caresses my slow heart.

My body freezes up. "What?

"James," he says, his fingers still moving through my hair, soothing me like I was a little girl. "He was crazy about you."   I shake my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "You don't have to say that, Cliff. I know you're just trying to make me feel better."

But he doesn't laugh. He doesn't even smile. He just looks at me with those sad eyes of his, chestnut hair falling slightly in his eyes.

"He was gonna tell you," Cliff whispers. "After the tour. He had this big, stupid plan. He wanted to take you out to dinner, make it all special, you know? He was nervous as hell about it, too."

Why is Cliff saying this? Why now?

Again, Cliff says, "He never had the chance." Cliff's voice is no louder than a murmur. "But he loved you. Really did."

I wrap myself into a tight, clinging ball with his pillow. "But he's still here," I choke. "James is… he's still here, Cliff. He's just… he's just out somewhere, right?"

There's such a long pause, when Cliff speaks again, his voice is full with a sadness that I don't want to recognize. But I do.

"He's gone, sweetheart."

I shake my head wildly, eyes refusing to believe what I already know is true. "No. No, he's not. He's coming back. He's just—"

"He passed, remember? Last year. The bus."

I stop breathing as the room tilts, heavy with fog, pushing against my skin, promising to smother me. I remember, yet I don't want to. I don't want to think about that night, the phone call, a feeling of my love slipping away.

"I saw him," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I swear, Cliff, I saw him. He was right here."

Cliff doesn't argue, won't try to reason with me. He just pulls me into his arms, holding me as I break apart. He strokes my hair, whispering soft words that I can't quite make out, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that James is gone. He's been gone for a year, and I've been living in this house, waiting for a ghost that will never come home.

Cliff lays me back down, tucks James’ blankets around me as if I am some sort of child. He doesn't leave, though. He stays beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"He really did love you," Cliff says again, much softer this time. "More than you know."

The house isn't haunted. At least, it isn't haunted the way I wish it was.

I still wear you in my locket, James. I always will.

And maybe someday I'll find you again.

[bonny-kookoo]

PLEASE.

LO King Yoongi, what happens after the first kiss?

Please.

I know what you are

He must've tricked you. There's no way he needed any form of 'demonstration' at all- he seems very much aware of what he's got to do to make your head spin already.

He's giving you a short second to breathe after a second or two, face still close to yours as he watches you, face devoid of much emotion but eyes full of curiosity. "You really are so fragile." He almost mocks you, and you simply nod, admitting to it- and it earns you a reaction you've not yet witnessed before.

He chuckles, clearly amused.

"I am." You answer. "S-so maybe you should be a bit more.. gentle?" You ask, and he simply leans his head to the side a little bit, still up close to you, leaning halfway over you at this point.

"Am I not gentle right now?" He questions you. "Have I not been gentle with you the entire time since I've taken you as my partner?" He asks further, reaching out to tuck some hair behind your ear. "Physically you are no match for me. If I so desired, I could've taken whatever I wanted from you by force."

"But you wouldn't." You say, and at that, his lips turn into a slight smile.

"I indeed would never." He confirms. "Like I said; you are physically no match for me." The king repeats himself. "But you have something I want. And I am willing to... devote myself to you in order to get it."

"I.. what is that?" You wonder, not sure what he's talking about. You don't really have anything- you have no strength, you're not talented in anything particular, you're not outstanding at all compared to what he could have in any other Temian woman-

"Have you ever taken a life?"

The question cuts off your thoughts, like the needle on a record player falling off the disk, music stopping abruptly. You don't have to think for long before you shake your head- no, you've never killed someone.

"Have you ever wielded a weapon?" He questions further, and again, you deny that.

"I've.. cleaned them. But they're.. too heavy, and I'm not strong enough to ever be accepted as a knight anyways." You explain.

"That is what I crave." He offers you. "You are what I want to, but cannot ever be." Yoongi explains, and you realize suddenly what he's talking about.

The fact that he even considered surrendering. How it's known that he himself is a quiet king just so he doesn't put any interest on him to be challenged. How he is said to be always rather lenient when it comes to punishment, way less aggressive than the other kings or the kings before him.

Yoongi doesn't like violence.

"You can." You offer him, and his eyes narrow in question. "When.. you know. When it's just us, you can be what you want to be." You tell him. "I'll accept you as, you know, King and.. partner all the same, even if you're gentle and kind." You tell him, his eyes opening wider as he watches you with this distinctive look of curiosity again.

"The more I speak to you.. and get to know you.." He offers, leaning closer again. "The more glad I am that I have taken you in." The king explains to you. "As my partner, that is."

"I.. okay?" You say, shy from the close proximity.

"Maybe the fact that you were given to me by chance and not someone else.." He hums towards you. "..might just be fate. Don't you think?"

"M-maybe?" You stammer, his lips only a breath from yours.

"Maybe, huh." He chuckles. "I guess.. we will have to see how compatible we really are." The king smirks. "See if you will actually bloom."

"I- what?" You want to ask, but he just shuts you up with another kiss-

a gesture of affection he's clearly more than fond of.

[fanfiction4sooya]

Loyal dog (Sub A! Seulgi x Dom O!Reader)

This was a request, but I think I lost it somewhere �� I hope y'all like it babies!! 💖💖💖💖

tw: abo dynamics, unprotected sex, edging, crying, reader is a little rude, jerking off, nipple play, cum swallowing, etc.

Last board meeting went hectic. You were the head of the meeting, conducting every single detail and discussion, very focused on finding the solutions the other shareholders needed. One of them was pushing for a sale you were reluctant to accept because you really didn't find any benefit on it. A stupid alpha that couldn't think ahead like you could.

"It's not up to you to deny anything" The alpha said, her eyes were cold and her demeanor was definitely disgusted; Many alphas didn't like omegas in position of power. You felt in the depths of your soul she really wanted to say Omegas had no say in anything.

"Well, Ms..." You looked down looking for a paper with her name. "Park, isn't it?"Lifting your head, you could see her eyebrows slightly lift in this contained anger. "Ms Park Sooyoung, I do in fact have a say in this since I'm the head of the board and my success rates are high. Higher than any of yours, I might say"

She tried to make you back down by staring at you, her pheromones strong as she tried to make you submit. That was so disrespectful and rude to do on a work setting that you felt your anger bubble inside you. When you were about to say something, a more sharp voice cut your phrase through, the sound reverberating around the meeting room.

"If you have any decorum, I advise you to stop this little attempt of strength play with your weak pheromones and leave this meeting" You looked straight at her, Kang Seulgi. Pretty, collected and overall avoiding of you. Your eyes quickly scanned her and you lightly scoffed.

Another brainless Alpha trying to assert dominance.

"I don't need a knight in a shiny armor, Ms Kang. I can handle insubordination myself" You said before the other Alpha could respond. She lowered her eyes, looking at her hands as she clenched her jaw. "But since you said it, it is against the company's policy to try making anyone to submit on the clock, specially in democratic meetings" You took a deep breath a little affected by Sooyoung, but your poker face was impeccable. "This meeting is over, for now" You said seeing red, dismissing all the others and going straight to your own office.

Anger seething, your blood boiling for so many reasons. You stood by your window trying to collect yourself, wanting nothing more than to jump onto Park's neck, end that little arrogant look. You fucking hated those types of alphas.

And Kang Seulgi? Oh she was so much worse with that condescending tone and those eyes, those fucking lowered eyes...

Next thing you knew you had already asked your secretary to call her to your office. You needed to see something by yourself.

"Did you ask to see me, boss?" She entered your office, closing the door behind her; perfect posture, secure of herself and her surroundings.

"Indeed" You said. Your glasses perched up on the tip of your nose, staring at her. You called your secretary, your voice ice cold as you spoke. "Ms Kim would you mind telling me if we hired any bodyguards for me, please?" You simply asked, still staring at her. You saw her avoid your eyes again, slightly looking down.

"There are no bodyguards on the record, boss. Why? Do you need one?" Yeri asked, a bit concerned.

"No, not at all" You said. "I was just checking, thank you" That anger was still there, mixed with a little bit of curiosity.

Narrowing your eyes, you tilted your head to the right.

"You do not get to speak for me" Poison dripping, you fixed your glasses on your face.

"It wasn't my intention, I was-" She looked anywhere but you, her posture tense now. "I didn't like the way she spoke with you and that stare... You don't deserved it" She cleared her throat. "It was unprofessional"

Now that she looked at you, you could see how she wasn't being condescending. It was something else and that was definitely something... good.

"Oh, I see..." You got up, going around your desk, crossing your arms under your breasts and leaning on it. "Maybe you don't want to be my bodyguard..." You said, eyeing her down. Her grey suit was perfect on her figure, but you could see the bulge forming inside her pants. "A loyal dog, maybe?"

You saw in first hand as a sharp exhale left her lips, her hands clenching by her sides.

"Oh, you would like to be my loyal dog" She finally returned your stare, her eyes pleading in an embarrassed, conflicted way. You got up to lock the door.

"I-" She gave a step towards you and you quickly shut her off.

"Stay" Was all you said and, much for your surprise and pleasure, she did stay; a tent on her pants as she looked down. "What an obedient dog..." Your tone changed to an alluring one. Standing in front of her, you smelled how aroused she was. "What a rare finding..." You traced her tie with one of your fingers and she whimpered. "Look at me" You commanded and she promptly did so, her eyes following how you licked your lower lip.

"I will do anything you want, boss" She finally said it, eyes locked into yours. You scoffed.

"Everyone does that already" Your cleavage fully on display made her dick pulse hard and she gulped. "What makes you different from everyone else, Ms Kang?" You got closer, heat emanating from her body to yours.

It felt so fucking good to be in full dominance mode with an Alpha like Kang Seulgi. It made you feel millions of times hotter. You always pushed away your omega nature, specially against some traditions the dynamics between Alphas, Betas and Omegas required.

"I can do whatever you ask me" She pleaded, her low voice was basically a whisper. "I am very good at obeying" You took a deep breath. Wet was an understatement, you were completely soaked and your lacy panties ruined.

You pondered, really thinking about it. Office sex wasn't something abnormal. If anything, office sex was the most normal thing in this situation.

"Sit down, hands on your sides" You told her, glancing at your leather couch and she did so. You unbuttoned your white button up just enough to pull your breasts out of your bra. Seulgi visibly shivered and you stood in front of her. "If you cum unauthorized I'll stop" You said, unbuckling her belt and pulling her dick out. "If you try to scent me I'll stop and kick your ass out of here" You have a good look to her cock.

It was was absolutely hung and veiny, throbbing on your hand as you pulled your pencil skirt up on your thighs and your panties to the side, sinking in next. Yes it was big and stretched you just fine, but you didn't express any type of reaction. She moaned, her eyes attentive on yours.

"If you manage to obey me until the end I'll be your dom" You told her, rolling your hips against her cock and she grabbed at the couch, whimpering. "If you want to stop you can just ask. Understood?" You said through gritted teeth.

"yes, b-boss" She stammered, her eyes rolling back a little.

You started riding her like there was no tomorrow, your cunt sinking deliciously on her cock and coating it with your slick. You tried to, but couldn't resist her pretty lips when she made all those sinful moans, kissing her roughly with your hand tangled on her beautiful wavy hair. You pulled it back, exposing her neck to lick and bite as you set an impossibly harder pace, your hips slamming against hers.

You moaned against each other's lips and she stopped kissing you to grab one of your boobs between her lips and you yelped, her tongue felt deliciously hot against your nipple. You stopped bouncing on her lap and started humping, your clit grazing against the fabric of her pants and a little bit of exposed skin. You were about to cum, clenching and unclenching on her big cock completely stretched.

"You want to cum inside me so much, I can feel it" You decided to play dirty as she sucked on your nipples very sloppily, coating your breasts with her saliva. "Aren't you an alpha after all?" You gather every ounce o strength you had not to moan while saying all that, but the woman was a rock. Holding herself in the most painful, delicious way.

In a last attempt to make her cum before you, you grabbed her neck while kissing her, squeezing it just right to a perfect chockehold. She shivered, her body shaking so hard it felt good under you.

You were still mounting here and absolutely losing the battle, cumming so hard on her cock you saw nothing but blank spots, body slumping forward on hers as she kept taking deep breaths with her eyes closed. You tried to catch your breath, swallowing hard when you managed to look at her face.

Absolutely beautiful and that little dumb look was pathetic but oh, so fucking hot. You kissed her roughly again, holding her neck.

"You did good, congratulations Ms. Kang" You said and she bit her lip, smiling. "I could've let you cum inside me..." You got off of her lap and she hissed, you felt your legs weak. "But I didn't told you to suck my breasts" You scoffed, sitting by her side.

"I am so sorry boss, I-" You shushed her, pulling her head to your lap, commanding her to lie down on the couch and she did, her dick standing proudly erect and furiously red from all the action and no cum.

"To show you I am no monster, I'll make you cum" You said, pulling her mouth to your nipple, your hand going to her cock. "Suck as hard as you can, but tell me when you get closer"

"Yes, boss" Her beautiful brown eyes glimmered and you bit your lip. "Thank you so much" She said, putting her mouth to work as you spat on your hand then started to pump her cock up and down, swirling your hand against the tip, your thumb rubbing at her slit.

She moaned against your breast, releasing a lot of precum as her body shook. It took less than a minute of you jerking her off, that's how needy she was.

"I'm close" She said, tensing and you completely stopped letting go of her cock. She whined, her mouth still sucking hard on your nipple and you whimpered.

She didn't protest, didn't even stop sucking. She held herself again, like a good girl. You caressed her hair, starting all over again that beautiful torture, jerking her even harder, her hips shaking as you stopped once again, feeling her hot tears on your lap. Fuck, she was so beautiful.

"Shh, it's okay" You cooed as she sobbed still sucking your breasts, her eyes locked into yours. Her nose was red and her eyes puffy. A masterpiece. "It's okay Ms Kang, this it the last time..." You said.

Going back to jerking her off, you could feel on the way she tossed against the couch how painful that was but she didn't complain once. You felt your pride grow, coaxing her into her climax. It hit her hard as your palm rubbed specially against the tip.

She came hard, ropes and ropes of her thick cum filling your hand and you kept swirling her tip. She was still crying, your breasts purple with how forceful her sucking was, but you didn't mind in the slightest.

You kept saying sweet nothings onto her ear, helping her to recollect herself and to come out of subspace, her sobs felt electrifying against your skin but you knew she couldn't take anything anymore.

You took your hand to her mouth and she licked it clean, sucking on every bit of her cum she could take from your hand as you caressed her hair, being careful not to scent her.

"Good girl... you were perfect Ms Kang" You whispered and she nodded, still sucking on your fingers. "Now you are my good loyal dog" You said, excitement taking over you when you realized how this finding was uncommon...

[goodnightmemes]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART ONE)

episodes: s01e01 - s01e04

❛ There are stories out there that need to be told. ❜

❛ Mortality beats a heavy drum. ❜

❛ Things didn't end well the last time, so forgive me if I'm a little nervous. ❜

❛ Do you not know your value? Do you suffer these indignities for some larger purpose? ❜

❛ Let the tale seduce you. Just as I was seduced. ❜

❛ Stop! Don't do that shit here! ❜

❛ Dishonesty breeds dishonesty. ❜

❛ It ain't easy, the work I do. Nothing but broken souls around me, and the ones that ain't broke are greedy. ❜

❛ The Earth's a savage garden. ❜

❛ How do you do that? Get in my head like that. ❜

❛ I had no room for feelings like these in my life. ❜

❛ I have seen death over and over and over and over again. It's boring. ❜

❛ Easy prey for the discerning predator. ❜

❛ And rather than fix it like a man should, I run like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds. ❜

❛ I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me, all his spindly roots in me, and I can't think nothin' anymore but his voice and his words! ❜

❛ I'm not the Devil. You were wrong about that. But I can give you death. ❜

❛ What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. ❜

❛ I can swap this life of shame, swap it out for a dark gift and a power you can't begin to imagine. You just have to ask me for it. ❜

❛ For the first time in my life, I was seen. ❜

❛ Be my companion. Be all the beautiful things you are, and be them without apology. For all eternity. ❜

❛ Memory is a monster. We forget, it doesn't. ❜

❛ We live off the blood of the living. Lap up the blood of the deceased and it'll suck you right down into death, along with your victim. ❜

❛ You have the power to subdue anyone you want, but sometimes restraint is your most powerful weapon. ❜

❛ This is your home now. ❜

❛ The sun gives life to everything but us. ❜

❛ The life of a vampire has its challenges and its rewards... ❜

❛ Do you contemplate the life of the rabbit before you cut it? Or do you simply cut?❜

❛ These are nightmares I'm having, not dreams. ❜

❛ One might think the ability to read a mind a most useful gift, but, in reality, it's quite mundane. ❜

❛ Every human thought boils down to three things..."I want food", "I want sex", "I want to go home". ❜

❛ You chase after phantoms of your former self. I'll break you of it. ❜

❛ You hide from me this long again, I'll hunt you down and slap you sideways. ❜

❛ I had powers now and decades of rage to process, and it was both random and unfortunate, the man picked that night to dabble in fuckery. ❜

❛ You are a library of confusion. ❜

❛ I don't like sleeping angry. ❜

❛ For the record, if disrespect was done to you, I would have killed him myself. ❜

❛ If you love your family, as I know you do, spare them all the pain that you are causing them. ❜

❛ I ain't never gon' have a family of my own, am I? No sons, no daughters. ❜

❛ I'm your family. ❜

❛ I've been neglectful of our romance. ❜

❛ He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover, and my maker… all of those things at once. ❜

❛ There is one thing about being a vampire that I most fear above all else... and that is loneliness. You can't imagine the emptiness, a void stretching out for decades at a time. ❜

❛ We must stay together and take precaution and never part. ❜

❛ Well, I don't say that you have to enjoy it! Kill them swiftly if you have to, but do it! Embrace what you are! You are a killer! ❜

❛ Come now, love, let's get you to the couch to die. ❜

❛ If you'd listen to me, if you finally submit to your nature, you will be filled, with all the life you can hold. ❜

❛ You will see death in all its beauty, life as it is only known at the very point of the death. You alone, of all creatures, can see death with that impunity. ❜

❛ You alone, under the rising moon, can strike like the hand of God. ❜

❛ Do you ever think that we, that's to say, our kind...were put on Earth for a larger purpose? ❜

❛ I put you on this earth. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself. ❜

❛ I desire blood as much as you do. But I wonder, should we be more selective? ❜

❛ Hunting is pure instinct. Reason is a set of leg irons. ❜

❛ Every one of them is capable of abomination, even the ones worthy of admiration. ❜

❛ Don't mind the shaking. I've snapped his spine. It's merely his nerves spasming. ❜

❛ I don't wanna kill people anymore. ❜

❛ So much of that year was a blur. And you can imagine what time's inevitable hammer does to the minute details. ❜

❛ This is the odyssey of recollection. ❜

❛ Oh, come now. I don't bite. ❜

❛ Aren't I enough? ❜

❛ We'll be together ten thousand nights, a hundred thousand.  ❜

❛ What we're doing is hard. Anything that wards off the dungs of the everlasting road we walk. ❜

❛ There. I said it. We're communicating so much better now, no? ❜

❛ You ever think about those old days when we were kids? ❜

❛ You wanna come around, you come around when people are awake. ❜

❛ Well, I thought we could have an orgy. You can fuck them, and I can eat them. ❜

❛ What can I say? I'm a lot. I'm not perfect. ❜

❛ I heard your hearts dancing! ❜

❛ You watched the whole thing like some creeper! ❜

❛ This is not a life! ❜

❛ Am I from the Devil? Is my very nature that of the Devil? ❜

❛ Take a black man in America, make him a vampire, fuck with that vampire, and see what comes of it. ❜

❛ You're here to threaten me, I suppose. ❜

❛ Why is your heart beatin' so fast? ❜

❛ Did you not smile when he begged? Did you not feel pleasure as you carved him up? ❜

❛ You did what you did because it gave you pleasure. ❜

❛ We should make this our anniversary. ❜

❛ That's why you and me ain't never gon' work. That's why you're always gonna be alone. ❜

❛ You were ready to abandon our home. Now you want a third. ❜

❛ I'm not human no more, am I? ❜

❛ I'll teach you, but not if we're going to have family secrets. ❜

❛ We're a family? ❜

❛ You're not a girl. You're a devil. ❜

❛ Hungry? You just ate a man twice your size. You can't possibly be… ❜

❛ I'm so hungry. I think I'm gon' die. Is that how vampires die? From starvation? ❜

❛ If you made me and you made [name], who made you? ❜

❛ When I'm tired, I'm not so kind. ❜

❛ Fighting sounds funny in French. ❜

❛ A girl vampire needs her own space if she's gonna find herself in this no-day world. ❜

❛ He got secrets. He don't give good answers to questions, sits on the truth like it's his chair or somethin'. ❜

❛ I thought we weren't supposed to keep secrets. ❜

❛ Sometimes, old people don't like talkin' much about the past. ❜

❛ For a killing machine, I kinda like her. ❜

❛ You wouldn't believe how time flies when there's people to eat and money to spend. ❜

❛ We do like mortals do. We fight, we eat, we laugh, we sleep, we love. ❜

❛ Never seen a dead one look so peaceful. You know what her last words were? ❜

❛ Wakes were invented in places where it snows. ❜

❛ You've been too sheltered, my belladonnic beauty. ❜

❛ You must be most ferocious, hmm? ❜

❛ There's something back there, something evil. ❜

❛ Yeah, I'm surprised your fancy parents let you out at night. ❜

❛ I finally got a few secrets of my own. ❜

❛ You're an angel. ❜

❛ This is why we never get close to mortals. Because sooner or later, they end up dead. ❜

❛ I had a daughter. ❜

❛ That means there's so much more fun out there to have. I'm just getting started.❜

[bi-bard]

Stupid Mistakes - Duncan Vizla Imagine [Polar]

Title: Stupid Mistakes

Pairing: Duncan Vizla X Reader

Word Count: 1,357 words

Warning(s): Descriptions of violence, use of guns, injury, blood, kidnapping

Summary: People make stupid mistakes. It happens to everyone. However, not everyone will find that their stupid mistakes have deadly consequences.

Author's Note: I spent Valentine's Day watching a crap ton of Mads Mikkelsen projects. I don't know if that's a warning or a promise.

--------------------

I was groggy when I woke up.

I blinked a few times, feeling an aching in my arms and shoulders. There were restraints around my wrists, holding me up above the floor.

I looked around at the room of guards before turning my attention to some woman in what was clearly a wig.

"Vivian?"

She just raised an eyebrow at my question.

"Good guess on my part," I muttered.

She scoffed and walked away, going to sit down in a chair.

One of the guards stepped forward and grabbed my chin. I stared at him. I refused to show weakness or fear.

"Been dying to see Duncan's sparkling diamond," the guard said as his grip tightened on my jaw. "He hid you well."

"I would let go of me," I replied through the hold on my face.

"Aw, what's wrong, do you not like me?"

I took a deep breath.

"Poor thing is scared. Don't worry. Once this is over, we'll take great care of you."

There were a few chuckles from those around him. I simply stared at him before quickly spitting in his face.

He quickly stepped back as he wiped his face. "Oh, you disgusting pig!"

"If he did so much to hide me, what do you think he'll do to protect me?"

The sound in the room stopped. Like it was suddenly much more tense than it had been. Had none of them even considered the possibility of him finding me?

"He's a little too... busy to come and save you," Vivian spoke up from her seat, clearly trying to calm the guards.

"How long do you think you'll be able to hold him after he finds out that you took me," I asked. "Considering psychological torture is part of your boss's plan... then there are photos of me here... like this? Truly a very stupid decision."

Again, silence.

"So, I'm right. Well then, you've all been making a lot of stupid mistakes."

I saw Vivian shift a bit in her seat.

"How long do you think I've been with Duncan?"

"Our records go back two years," she replied.

I nodded. "Interesting."

"Surprised that we know?"

"Not really. Surprised it took you this long to fuck up considering how long you've know."

She took a deep breath. I looked around the room.

"What do you think happens when you take away a man like Duncan's- what did you call it- sparkling diamond?"

None of the guards replied to me.

"Well, I'll tell you... nothing good."

"Shut your mouth," one of them snapped.

"Aw, are you getting scared? Y'know, Duncan always reminds me not to let myself get scared if I found myself in a situation like this. You make more mistakes when you're scared."

"I told you to shut your mouth!"

There was a gun in my face.

"Ooo, I wouldn't let him see you do that," I shook my head like I was a disappointed parent. "Poor thing, you are still making so many mistakes."

"Shut your fucking mouth, you-"

The shouting was cut off. The guard dropped dead in front of my feet. I sighed.

"I tried to warn you," I shrugged.

Another man fell.

I watched them frantically look around for a minute.

"Where is he," Vivian asked.

"I don't know, your boss was the one holding him captive," I replied.

The door slammed open a matter of seconds after the word left my mouth.

I ducked my head down as best I could as gunfire started ringing out. I squeezed my eyes shut. I was going to feel the ringing in my ears for weeks.

It all stopped. I didn't move. Not until I felt the restraints on my arms give way and I was placed back on the ground.

I knelt down as I saw Duncan fall to his knees. My heart broke at the sight of all of his injuries. He looked so exhausted. I touched the sides of his face.

I saw Vivian move over his shoulder.

I stood up, taking the gun from Duncan's hand. He held onto my free hand.

"Don't do something stupid," I warned. "You've made enough of those choices today."

"I have a job to complete," she replied. She had been hurt at some point. I could see it. "Look at him. It'll be just like putting down an old dog."

I let out a sharp breath through my nose. "Your records... of me... they're wrong."

"Doesn't matter now."

"But it does," I replied. "You said that your records showed a two-year relationship, yes?"

"Doesn't matter-"

"You missed a decade," I cut her off. Her eyebrows furrowed.

I smirked a bit before quickly lifting my arm and firing a shot. I watched her body fall to the ground.

"A lot of time to practice my shot."

I knelt back down in front of Duncan and put the gun down. I cupped his face again.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I... I didn't want you to have to do that."

"I always thought I would," I shrugged. "One of the things I accepted when I decided to stay with you."

"You shouldn't have-"

"Stop," I shook my head. "I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be with you. Forever. I chose that. Because I love you. You aren't to blame for anything that happened. I chose this life; those people chose to take me. That's it."

His eyes closed and he leaned forward, his forehead touching mine.

"Let's go get you taken care of."

Duncan- while half-conscious- gave me instructions to find a friend of his. She took him in, took care of his wounds far better than I could have, and gave us a place to stay while he healed.

I sat on the bed next to him, staring at the number of bandages covering his body.

"How long have you two been together," his friend-Jazmin- asked.

"It'll be twelve years in a few months," I replied, turning to her. She seemed shocked. I chuckled. "He did a good job hiding me, I can see."

"I didn't think he'd allow himself to have something so... serious."

"He couldn't lose me," I shrugged, chuckling again. "He tried to keep me away at first, but I guess, time proved that it wasn't happening. And here we are."

"When did you find out?"

"God, I don't know... two years in? I think? I was mad that he kept it from me at first, but... I understood. He is... everything to me. He's my world. I understand that he wanted to keep me safe from it because I would've done the same thing. Because I love him."

She grinned and nodded.

She went about whatever she was working on, giving me some peace with Duncan. I wanted to reach over and hold his hand, but even that was bandaged up. It broke my heart.

I resigned myself to lying on my side next to him, watching his chest move with his breaths. The movement was the only sense of comfort I had. The only reassurance. I was going to cling to it.

I soon heard a groan come from Duncan.

I leaned up on my elbow so I could lean over him. "Hey..."

He blinked at me a few times. He went to move.

I carefully placed a hand on his chest. "Don't move. You have a lot of shit in your system. Just stay still."

He slowly nodded.

I grinned.

"I... I didn't tell you earlier," he muttered. I furrowed my eyebrows. "I love you too."

I chuckled, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Trust me, I am well aware... but having you keep saying it is very tempting."

"I love you," he whispered. I rolled my eyes. "I'll say it as many times as you want."

"Rest first... and then I'll torment you by holding you to that promise."

"Could never torment me."

"Oh, don't tempt me."

I kissed his lips gently, pushing him back when he tried to follow me. I laid my head back down on the pillow next to him.

I knew that he was still blaming himself for what happened in that place. I could see it on his face, as much as he tried to hide it. I think he knew that he couldn't hide anything from me anymore, but he still tried.

It was his stupid mistake. I was just more forgiving than he was.

--------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

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[sukunas-princess]

some band au lore for unclean vocalist sukuna...

... because why the fuck not? i've made a mistake daydreaming about Unclean Vocalist Sukuna and writing about him with his pet tortoise and singing Sleep Token covers because now I'm here and auuguhuhgha FUCK ME! LET'S GO!

𓆩♡𓆪 Vocalist Sukuna and Lead Guitarist Choso's friendship is said to be as old as time itself. What started as an awkward compliment over a Slipknot hoodie in high school became an unbreakable bond for the last fifteen years and is still going strong.

𓆩♡𓆪 They're also why the band exists in the first place.

𓆩♡𓆪 Because while Sukuna and Choso would have been perfectly happy being a duo in Choso's bedroom studio, recording deathcore covers for YouTube, there were always comments that they were "on to something" and "Not saying that you couldn't do it on your own, but I'm saying if y'all teamed up with others... 👀"

𓆩♡𓆪 ... And then the idea never left their heads.

𓆩♡𓆪 Drummer Toji was Sukuna's roommate and already knew how to play, so it was a no-brainer to ask him. (Fun Fact #1 - It was actually Sukuna who got him his first drum kit as a birthday present because "You have *got* to stop starting random fights as a hobby.")

𓆩♡𓆪 Toji was dragging his feet about joining though. Because while being in a band sounded like fun, it also sounded like a lot of work, which he was most definitely NOT interested in.

𓆩♡𓆪 But Sukuna was already prepared for that. He proposed that he'd wipe Toji's entire I.O.U. debt of take-out and rent if he agreed. And Toji, not being able to resist having his debt erased if he indulged in his roommate's ridiculous dream for a little bit (Seriously. What were the odds of them taking off?), agreed.

𓆩♡𓆪 Also, Fun Fact #2 - Toji likes to regularly complain from behind his kit that he "can't get any girls" fawning over him "if no one can fucking see me". But his drumming is on another level, so the members have to regularly assure him people most certainly know he's there.

𓆩♡𓆪 They don't bother telling him about the fancams though. He'd just let that shit go to his head.

𓆩♡𓆪 Aoi only joined the band because he simply would not shut the fuck up when Choso had brought it up casually during one of their weekly workouts that he and Sukuna had started a band.

𓆩♡𓆪 (Fun Fact #3 - Aoi asked Choso one time if he was ready for his "Best Buddy Bonding Time," and then Sukuna never ever let that go.)

𓆩♡𓆪 When Choso asked Aoi if he even knew how to play anything, Aoi said he knew how to "play guitar a little bit".

𓆩♡𓆪 The next day, Choso found out that "a little bit" meant four chords.

𓆩♡𓆪 So, needless to say, he had his work cut out for him.

𓆩♡𓆪 Bassist Suguru was well known on YouTube, like Sukuna and Choso, and had collaborated with them on a number of projects before.

𓆩♡𓆪 And while Suguru was Choso's first pick for a bassist, Sukuna had made the very valid point that Suguru lived almost six hours away and it would be impossible to make him part of the group.

𓆩♡𓆪 Or would it be?

𓆩♡𓆪 Because, oh, poor unassuming Suguru who was invited to spend the week with Choso and Sukuna for a mini vacation...

𓆩♡𓆪 Who was wined and dined and had no idea what was happening until the end of the week, when Choso was on his knees and grabbing Suguru's shirt hem and sobbing, begging Suguru to join because "I can't do this by myself! Please don't leave me alone with these meatheads!"

𓆩♡𓆪 Sukuna, Aoi, and Toji were all looking at each other while this was happening, but didn't start an argument over it.

𓆩♡𓆪 Because he wasn't exactly lying. They were meatheads. Couldn't be mad at him for telling the truth.

𓆩♡𓆪 Their clean vocalist was the last addition but came much later.

𓆩♡𓆪 Because after the band found moderate local success, Sukuna found himself struggling to keep up.

𓆩♡𓆪 He knew proper scream singing technique, of course, but he wasn't exactly being kind to his body to begin with. Sleepless nights of writing new material with Choso and a steady diet of junk food while on mini tours were causing immeasurable wear and tear on his body.

𓆩♡𓆪 And Aoi, seeing that Sukuna was silently suffering, took it upon himself to start looking for a clean vocalist.

𓆩♡𓆪 And he already had the perfect person in mind.

𓆩♡𓆪 While Choso could never be replaced in "Best Buddy Bonding Time", Aoi had another friend at the gym - Junpei - in a mentor type relationship, and Aoi knew (through a lot of pestering personal questions, in Junpei's opinion) that he liked to sing.

𓆩♡𓆪 But Junpei was hesitant about it when Aoi asked him to join the band. All he had ever known was show choir and Broadway musicals. Would he even be able to keep up with a metal band?

𓆩♡𓆪 But, then again, if Choso had taught his gorilla of a friend how to play guitar, surely it couldn't be that difficult.

𓆩♡𓆪 Junpei was second guessing the entire thing though that following weekend as he stood next to Aoi in Suguru's garage.

𓆩♡𓆪 With everyone being so much bigger than him, doubt flooded Junpei's mind that there wasn't even a band at all.

𓆩♡𓆪 Aoi wouldn't lead him right to bullies. He wouldn't lead him right into an ambush. Would he?

𓆩♡𓆪 "Look what I've got!" were Aoi's first words to everyone else.

𓆩♡𓆪 "I didn't know you could see your own brain damage." Toji said from behind his kit.

𓆩♡𓆪 Aoi shot him a glare, before putting his hand on Junpei's shoulder and gently scooting him forward.

𓆩♡𓆪 "Anyways... Everyone welcome our new member!"

𓆩♡𓆪 Junpei started to feel dizzy as all the other men just stared back at him.

𓆩♡𓆪 "And what does our new member do?" Choso asked, setting down his guitar.

𓆩♡𓆪 "He sings!" Aoi said proudly, and Junpei's dizziness began to turn into queasiness.

𓆩♡𓆪 "We've already got someone who sings." Toji pointed a scuffed up drumstick in Sukuna's direction.

𓆩♡𓆪 "Nooooo, we've got a screamer. Who - if any of you took two seconds to be observant - would notice he's falling apart."

𓆩♡𓆪 "I'm not falling apart." Sukuna scoffed behind the rim of his second Red Bull of the day.

𓆩♡𓆪 "You are," Aoi said, "And he..." He scooted Junpei forward even more, "... can help you."

𓆩♡𓆪 "Aoi, please..." Choso ran his hands over his face before massaging his temples, "Please tell me we're not going to end up on the news because you kidnapped a child."

𓆩♡𓆪 That snapped Junpei out of his nausea.

𓆩♡𓆪 "I'm 25!!"

𓆩♡𓆪 "Oh, look at that! It DOES speak!" Toji said, before giggling to himself.

𓆩♡𓆪 But his laughter was short-lived, as Suguru lifted his foot up and threatened to kick his bass drum in.

𓆩♡𓆪 And in the chaos of Suguru and Toji arguing (and Choso trying to break them up yet again), Junpei only had his eyes on Sukuna as he hopped down from Choso's amp and walked straight up to him and Aoi.

𓆩♡𓆪 And as Sukuna started talking to Aoi, Junpei's anxious thoughts began to kick in again.

𓆩♡𓆪 This was a stupid fucking idea. Why did you even agree to come over here? You can just turn around and leave right now. And are they gonna laugh at you as soon as you're out of earshot? Yeah. But this isn't your fault! It's fucking Aoi's fault for making you think you could do this in the first place! You're so stupid! Stupid stupid stupid!

𓆩♡𓆪 "Hey. Kid."

𓆩♡𓆪 Junpei's heart felt like it was going to fall out of his ass as he made eye contact with Sukuna.

𓆩♡𓆪 "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Nobody's gonna make you." Sukuna said gently.

𓆩♡𓆪 "And we'll beat Aoi's ass for dragging you into this if it'll make you feel better." He added, nodding towards Aoi, but Aoi only scowled back.

𓆩♡𓆪 "No, I do. I want this." Junpei nodded.

𓆩♡𓆪 But Sukuna's raised eyebrows told Junpei he was doing a shit job at being convincing.

𓆩♡𓆪 "I don't know, okay!? I don't know anything about this, like, style. Like, I'm just a theater kid and I don't want to slow you guys down or anything...." Junpei babbled, keeping an eye on Choso trying to separate Suguru and Toji.

𓆩♡𓆪 "Nah, don't worry about that," Sukuna shook his head, "If Choso can get this moron here to learn guitar, then anything's possible."

𓆩♡𓆪 And even to this day, Junpei's never in a hundred million years going to admit it, but the only reason he didn't turn right around and run for the hills that day, was because of the way Sukuna smiled at him. So calm and reassuring - like somehow he just knew that everything would always work out for him, no matter what happened.

𓆩♡𓆪 "My thoughts exactly." Junpei replied just a little too quickly.

𓆩♡𓆪 "I am RIGHT HERE!" Aoi shouted, before doing a jerk off motion and then retreating to help Choso separate the others.

𓆩♡𓆪 And as Junpei voiced his concerns, yet again, to Sukuna that he didn't necessarily think he was the correct fit for the group (and watched in horror as the other members were still going at it)...

𓆩♡𓆪 Junpei will never forget the words Sukuna said to him.

𓆩♡𓆪 "Well... You'll never know unless you try, right?"

𓆩♡𓆪 And in that tiny garage - with Toji and Suguru making up begrudgingly only because Choso said he'd order food if they just stopped, and Sukuna telling Junpei that "This shit is normal, but you'll get used to it." --

𓆩♡𓆪 In that day, Scarlet Sea was born.

© all writing owned by sukunas-princess. do not copy, translate, plagiarize, share outside of tumblr, etc. heart divider by @/roseschoices. support banner made by me, sukunas-princess.

[totowlff]

a thirsty tuesday

➝ producing content for mercedes' social media is always a challenge, especially given the demand. however, having a desired boss is always a good asset.

➝ word count: 1,8k

➝ warnings: implied sexual acts, a lot of second-hand embarassment, boss-employee dynamics

➝ author’s note: well, it's been a long time since i was last here. unfortunately, i didn't have more time to dedicate myself the way i would like to my stories. however, i feel stronger and safer to come back here and continue writing. i hope you still want to read it.

— Y/N, this is completely ridiculous — Toto said, looking up from the sheet in his hand towards your face. His expression was serious, skepticism written in the way he raised his eyebrows at you.

You gave a smile, feeling a little embarrassed to be presenting that content idea to him. After recording a video analyzing the most striking images of the ten years he was at the head of the team, the idea was that he would react to some tweets that the marketing team had selected.

In this case, you.

— That's what our audience cares about, Toto.

— Are you serious? They want to see me reading — he hesitated, looking down at the paper again — Thirsty tweets?

— Sure, why do you think I would suggest that?

Toto sighed. He was definitely upset.

— I could fire you, you know? — the team principal murmured, the shadow of a smile on his face.

— You would never do that — you replied, full of confidence.

 — How can you be so sure?

— Because, without me, you only speak bullshit.

He laughed. That was an indisputable fact: without you by his side, Toto simply lost his filters, especially in front of the microphones. The images of you elbowing the team principal in the arm when he started a sentence that would probably generate thousands of clicks on specialized sites, as well as rude responses from other team bosses.

— Okay, you got a good point — Toto said, crossing his arms. Your eyes flickered for a few seconds to the veins that were prominent over his skin, before looking into his brown eyes again.

— So, let’s do it?

— Yeah. But if you have any bullshit…

— Toto, anything that isn't business or lap times is classified as bullshit for you.

— Well, bigger bullshit. I don't want my kids to see this and think I'm weird.

— It's easier for them to think the people who wrote these stuff weird — you muttered, as you took the sheet from his hand. Toto raised a suspicious eyebrow.

— Now I'm really worried about doing this, Y/N.

— It's going to be alright, now, sit there and just be a lovely person.

— I'm always a lovely person.

— Yeah, Christian Horner agrees with you — you said, laughing, as you walked to Stephen's side, who looked less than pleased with the camera angle. After requesting changes and having Toto sit on a bench so that half of his head wasn't cut off in the image, you handed over the sheets of printed tweets, asking him not to peek at the tweets.

— What if I peek?

— You’ll ruin everyone's recording day — you replied.

— That would be a shame — he muttered, giving her a mischievous little smile.

— Indeed. But I'm sure you'll be a good boy.

You had the impression that Toto had blushed, but you didn't have time to point that out before Stephen asked you to leave the set to start filming. After a few more instructions, he signaled that he was recording.

— Hi, I'm Toto Wolff and today, I'm going to read… What is it again?

— Thirsty tweets — you said, rolling your eyes.

— Oh yeah, thirsty tweets — he said, grinning at the camera. The image caused something strange to spread inside your chest.

After repeating the take twice more, Toto finally caught the first tweet, reading it silently for a few seconds, eyes widening.

— Out loud, Toto.

— I'm not going to read this, Y/N.

— You will — you yelled, from behind the camera.

— But it's ridiculous — he exclaimed.

— You said you'd read it, you'll read it.

Sighing, the team principal paused for a few seconds before reading what was on the sheet.

— "I don't even know how, but I want to suck Toto Wolff's arms".

— What do you think?

— Well, ridiculous.

— People like your arms — you said — Doesn't it make you happy?

— They’re arms.

— But they are pretty arms.

He blinked.

— Do you think my arms are pretty? — Toto questioned.

Your face heated up. You definitely weren't ready for that question.

— Doesn't matter, go to the next one.

He chuckled before looking down at the sheet in his hands.

— “Toto Wolff could come up to me, punch me in the face for any reason and, honestly, I would probably apologize to him” — Toto read, looking up at you — Well, I would never hit anyone, so I'm really sorry.

— Not even if they asked? — you asked in a teasing tone.

— I'm too polite a man for that.

— Too bad — you laughed — Next.

— “I would call Toto Wolff daddy in front of my own dad”. I just hope my kids never do this, it must be extremely embarrassing.

You couldn't hold back a laugh at that comment.

— I thought you didn't want them to watch this video.

— And they won't watch it, I'm sure of it — Toto replied, laughing — Imagine them watching their father reading things like “I'd let Toto break my back like a glowstick”?

— I would think it's cool. In fact, I'm thinking it's cool.

— Of course you do, you chose these tweets.

— Could you go on? — you asked, making him move on to the next sheet.

— “Me: I watch Drive To Survive for the content. The content: Toto Wolff”. We can't deny that I bring content to this series, can we?

— So much content that I spent almost a month listening to people asking me to change my car if I had a problem with it.

— Did Checo say it was fucked? — he asked with a mischievous smile.

— I think I'm going to have to speak to my drivers about that — you replied, chuckling — Go on to the next one.

— “I want my juice box to be Toto Wolff's new pillow” — he read, raising an eyebrow — But what's a juice box?

— Vagina — Stephen muttered, before realizing everyone was staring at him, Toto with a particularly shocked expression — What? I lived in the States, they say that, is a slang.

— Okay, I really didn't expect that — the team principal muttered — Did you know that, Y/N?

— No — you replied, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Of course you knew what it meant, you weren't an idiot. Besides, you knew it was going to surprise him. You just didn't expect him to look so shocked — But, are you surprised?

— I didn't expect something so — Toto hesitated for a few seconds — Explicit.

— Then you'll love the next ones.

Passing the sheet, you noticed the team principal's face turn red.

— Y/N, I can't say that.

— You can, I checked with our legal team.

— Y/N…

— Read it now.

— “I want Toto Wolff to destroy my insides” — he said, before looking up at you — This is awful.

— Well, it's what you do to them.

Toto stared at the sheet for a few seconds.

— I'm feeling flattered right now — he said, in a sort of sarcastic way.

The film crew erupted in laughter as the team boss looked at you, who shook your head.

— Well, let's go on — he said, moving on to the next page — "Toto Wolff is so hot, I want to have his babies”. Unfortunately it won't be possible, I stopped at the second one. But if I may say so, both my children are very beautiful so I take great pride in that.

— Actually, Rosi is adorable.

— Thanks to her mom's genes — Toto answered you, before moving on to the next tweet — “My sexuality is Toto Wolff”. I'm pretty sure there's no TW in the LGBTQIA+ acronym, but…

— Maybe it's been updated? — you suggested.

— I need to talk to the Racing Pride people about this — he said, smiling — Well, I think that's the last one, “The best part of working at Mercedes is saying 'yes, sir' to Toto. I will not elaborate”.

You couldn't help but smile when he looked up at you.

— I believe there are other advantages to working at Mercedes, but I pride myself on being a good boss — Toto said, before ending the video with one of those smiles that made your chest warm.

While the crew set up the studio for the recording with Lewis, which would take place in half an hour, you and Toto headed back to his office. The team leader had already removed the microphone that was attached to his shirt and was reading something intently on the phone before handing it to you. Inside the room, he walked around the pale wood table and stopped beside the chair.

— It was kind of fun recording — Toto said, bringing his hands to his chest and undoing the top button of his shirt — I thought this thirsty tweets thing was going to be a lot worse.

Your eyes dropped to his fingers, which deftly parted the shirt, revealing the firm muscles beneath.

— Well, I'm glad you like it — you managed to reply, your mouth dry as the fabric slid down his arms. You had seen him topless before, but the feeling was always the same. The heat in your face, the tingling in your belly, the heavier heartbeat in your chest.

— But, I have a question about a thing — he continued, grabbing the baby blue shirt he was wearing before the shoot and putting it on — That last tweet…

— Yeah?

— Did you write it?

You swallowed hard.

— All tweets were posted by real users, Toto…

— But the last one is yours.

— Of course not…

— Y/N, you know I follow you, right?

You blinked, staring at the team leader in disbelief.

— You don’t have…

— Yes I do. I use it to observe things, see what people are saying, these things — Toto replied, while closing the last buttons of his shirt — I follow Lewis, George, Mick, Jonathan from engineering, Kawka and I followed your account recently. I recognized the profile picture even though it was blurry on the printed sheet.

— I apologize profusely about this, Toto…

He laughed.

— No problem, Y/N…

— It's completely inappropriate to say that kind of thing on the internet, and what's more, considering you read…

— Y/N, it's okay — he cut her off as he put on his blazer — You seem like a lot of fun outside the office.

— You think so?

  I do. Although I have a question about that tweet.

— What would it be?

— Would you mind elaborating on why that's the best part of your job?

You felt your cheeks heat up.

— Is like I’ve said, I won't elaborate, Toto.

— Not even at dinner this Friday?

Your mind short-circuited, your mouth opening slightly.

You were sure this was a hallucination.

— Are you asking me out?

— Yeah — he replied, his voice full of confidence — What do you think?

“Yes, say yes, yes!”, someone screamed in the back of your mind, while you stared at him.

— With a condition.

— Which is?

— No pizza — you said — Every time we have dinner, you insist on having pizza and still complain about my order.

— Of course, you like that atrocity with pineapple…

— Just don't eat.

— It's still disgusting, Y/N — he said — But, okay, no pizza. Do you accept?

— Yeah, sure — you answered, feeling butterflies in your stomach.

[comfortlesshurt]

alrighty, I locked in for a couple days and now I get to reward myself by yelling into the tumblr void about the series progress

first off, there are TWO FICS over 50% done, v exciting stuff. I know they've been over 50% for a bit now, but like... let me have my motivation, okay? we are in the HARD PART of the project where it all looks overwhelming, so I'll take the wins I can

also tex fic is finished and through round 1 of editing. it still needs another major edit and i need to finish fic 1 to make sure no info conflicts between the two, but the serious work for that is done

there are a few more days left before NotNaNo, but even going in with today's word counts, focusing on fics 1 and 2 should put them pretty close to finished by the end of November unless I was super off with the word count estimate

also had a really good writing day yesterday!

ignore those date projections at the bottom because like... those assume either i write 3k every day or i write 3k twice a week and 1.2k the other 5 days, and I canNOT do that consistently. but that July 23rd date is realistic! that's me continuing to hit my average based on the past 106 days since starting this project, so there's a good chance I finish this project in a total of just over a year (in which case I will never shut up about writing 450k in a year, so watch out)

finally, fic 1 is a huge portion of that daily par number in the first row, so... unless I fall majorly away from the intended timeline, that required daily par will go down a LOT at the end of december, which will be nice. the goal is still to focus a lot on this project and only really jump over to side projects as they call to me, but it's easier to do that when your average isn't struggling to keep up with your daily par number. it simply does not feel good to be constantly working just to barely get over the par.

as far as editing, i'm starting to fear i didn't budget enough time for that in my early projections, so the timeline might be off there. those due dates listed are for the final rough draft, which doesn't get a chance to rest before immediately going into a month of editing. something just tells me now that a month isn't going to be enough to cover a content edit for each fic. it's also relying on the technical edits being done week-to-week as each chapter goes up.

also added one more tracking tool recently:

this is to look at all the projects week-to-week, and really what it's done is made it obvious that I am in fact very focused on fic 1 lmao. in my defense, that's the one that has consistently had the highest required par, so it's easy to treat it as the most important. also, up to 27-aug is rough. I started writing these fics in Word, so I didn't have day-to-day stats to go back and check. I could only find those once I switched to Reedsy, so for the record I did not write 54k between 20-aug and 27-aug. same with the tex fic--that wasn't all written in one week.

this chart still only looks at ILaD progress, so you can see where I take my break in October and it cuts down a lot... but that's excluding the 10k that went into an unrelated fic, so I don't think taking this break has actually cut down on my writing much. it's just made me have a better time with it temporarily. i took a couple days off writing completely during October but like... I didn't really enjoy that? so I don't think that's the solution I'm looking for long-term.

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk. i will infodump again, and probably soon since all the end of the month posts are coming up in the next week.

[stellae-de-baphometis]

An Ultimate Revise: Who Or What Is Satan?

⭒☆·━━━━━━━•( 🕸 )•━━━━━━━·☆⭒

Okay... So I have a lot to say before I get into this post, because the original blog post I made was extremely problematic and I would like to address it, first and foremost.

My original "Who Or What Is Satan" post that I wrote was meant to be an educational and historical post, but it ended up being far from historically accurate whatsoever. It was full of errors and antisemitism, and I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

And so I've decided to completely rewrite and revise the entire post from scratch. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while now, because I really hate how my original post turned out and how antisemitic it was.

So without further ado, here is the revised and rewritten version of my original post, minus all the bullshit lol. Strap in, because this is gonna be a looong post! Full blog post is under the cut. ↓

⭒☆·━━━━━━━•( 🕸 )•━━━━━━━·☆⭒

So here's a little more info and backstory on the original "Who Or What Is Satan" post, before we get into the revised version;

⚠️ - TRIGGER WARNING: Antisemitism - ⚠️ About a year ago now, I wrote a blog post of the same title under the username of @/thebaphometicforest. At the time of writing that post, I was extremely uneducated and new to Daemonolatry, and I had also been almost fully indoctrinated into a Ne0-Naz1 cult on Reddit without realising it (cough cough the fucking cesspit that is r/DemonolatryPractices cough). The blog post I wrote was full of misinformation and antisemitic propaganda, and I'm really not proud of the fact that I used to hold such antisemitic beliefs surrounding Judaism and cultural appropriation in general. I have since deleted the post, though I believe there are reblogs of it that exist, for those who wish to seek it out for further context, or whatever other reason you may need it.

I would like to take the time to sincerely apologise to the Jewish community for how blatantly ignorant and disrespectful I was in my past. There is no excuse for my antisemitism; I was just stupidly misinformed. I want it to be clear though that I never intended to purposefully discriminate against Jews, I just didn't realise how problematic my views were at the time. I wanted to clarify that distinction; But the bottom line is that the intent doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I was still a dick. It is no excuse and I take full accountability and responsibility for my past actions.

Please know that my past problematic views do not represent me anymore and I have changed and educated myself since then. And with that said, I want it to be my main goal to help dispel antisemitism, ignorance, and bigotry in occult spaces as an ally, as well as advocate for the rights and wellbeing of the Jewish community not only in occult spaces, but overall. 💙

With all of that said, it's time to set the record straight and talk about who and what Satan actually is!

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DISCLAIMER: Please keep in mind that I am not Jewish or Muslim, and therefore cannot speak from those perspectives on this subject. I understand and acknowledge that the concept of Satan originates in Judaism and have no intention to be appropriative. I'm simply just going off research and from what Jewish people in occult spaces on Tumblr have said regarding this subject. I also apologise in advance for any inaccuracies in this post. Please don't hesitate to point them out and I will correct them as soon as I can! Xx

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+: GIF Credit :+

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Satan has evolved to become a very complex character in the modern day. In fact, the very concept and idea of Satan can depend on who you ask, as there are multiple different spiritual paths that interpret Satan differently nowadays. Satan's history has also been muddied quite a lot over the years.

But what are the actual historical origins of Satan, and how did he even come to be?

༺・ The Origins Of Satan ・༻

So, where did Satan even come from?

The origins of Satan can firstly be traced back to Judaism, where Satan refers to an angel (Ha-Satan) that was initially subservient to God. It was only later that he came to be known as "The Devil" in Christianity (sometimes considered synonymous with Lucifer, a bastardised Greco-Roman god) and was referred to as an evil demon, devil, and fallen angel. Later in Islam, he came to be known as an evil spirit who went by the name of Iblis or Ash-Shaytan.

The concept and role of Satan varies drastically between Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and other belief systems which may have similar figures in their mythology. Let's further elaborate on what Satan means when it comes to these three belief systems.

Note: In the Christianity section, I have added a lot of my own interpretations and personal beliefs on the subject as I used to be a Christian as a child. However, I have not done the same with the Judaism or Islam sections as they are closed practices from what I have heard, and I feel that it is not my place to have a UPG on a closed practise, especially if I am not a part of it. Therefore, I will only be including historical info I have gathered from doing research in those parts and nothing more. I wish to remain respectful by not adding my personal input on those parts.

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+: In Judaism :+

There appears to be two main accounts of Satan in Judaism. The most well-know account is that Satan refers to an angel in the Torah named Ha-Satan (literally "The Satan") who is actually subordinate to God, rather than being an opposing force of God. His role was to test the faith of God's followers by tempting them to sin. If they resisted Ha-Satan's temptations, they were proving themselves faithful and loyal to God.

Another account comes from Satanail, the Prince of the Grigori Watcher Angels. The role of the Grigori were to descend to Earth so they could guide humans and teach them. But when they began having sex with humans and producing offspring such as the Nephilim, they were cast out of Heaven and became fallen angels. Some translations suggest that the Nephilim were a type of giants, whereas other translations suggest that they were the hybrid children of fallen angels.

Sometimes the archangel Samael is also equated with Satan, however they don't necessarily have the same functions. Samael was usually tasked with destroying sinners, whereas Ha-Satan was tasked with tempting and testing sinners.

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+: In Christianity :+

Here's where things begin to get muddy. Satan is referred to in multiple different ways in Christianity, and it really just depends on the interpretations and translations of the Christian Bible. Let's have a look at Satan's multiple titles that are mentioned.

~ The Serpent ~

Satan is considered to be synonymous with The Serpent that convinced Eve and Adam to eat fruit from the Tree Of Knowledge. In Genesis 3, the serpent claimed that if you ate the fruit, you could "be like God, knowing good and evil".

+. Genesis 3 .+ ❧ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman "Did God really say 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" ❧ The woman said to the serpent "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die'." ❧ "You will not certainly die", the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil". ❧ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

In my interpretation, Satan brought liberation, indulgence enlightenment, wisdom, and free will to Adam and Eve through eating the fruit. He showed them that if they open their minds and were willing to learn new things, they could grow and flourish to be wiser than they once were, as well as constantly strive to be the best version of themselves.

It was actually God that brought about consequences for Eve and Adam eating the fruit from the Tree Of Knowledge, not Satan. My interpretation is that if you choose to embrace your true and best self, there are always going to be people who will not like or approve of you; But that doesn't mean that you are doing something bad (as long as you aren't hurting anyone or doing anything immoral of course, lol).

~ The Devil ~

I think everyone is aware that Satan's most well-known title that he goes by is "The Devil". Personally, I don't like to refer to Satan using this title because the word originates from the Ancient Greek word 'diabolos', meaning 'slanderer'. This implies that Satan is a liar and deceiver, which I don't personally believe. In my experience, he has always been a bringer of wisdom and truth.

Satan is said to be the "father of lies" and that he "leads the whole world astray", but I still have yet to see any evidence of him lying or leading anyone astray. The Christian Bible says that he lies, but doesn't show how he is a liar; At least not to my knowledge anyways. However, the God depicted in the Christian Bible seems to have lied about how the fruit on the Tree Of Knowledge would kill Adam and Eve... Because it didn't. It enlightened them and opened their eyes. It helped them to see the truth.

I can't really find any bible verses that suggest Satan actually lies; Only verses accusing him of being a liar. I did, however, find evidence that God lies in the Christian Bible. (Please note that this isn't me trying to be anti-Christian or anything, I'm just trying to make the point that there isn't really any evidence that Satan is deceptive in the Christian Bible. This is mainly to point out the hypocrisy of conservative/extremist forms of Christianity.) Here is an interesting verse that I found which may prove my point that God is deceptive and does in fact lie:

+. Jeremiah 4:10 .+ ❧ Then I said, "Alas, sovereign LORD! How completely you have deceived these people and Jerusalem by saying 'You will have peace', when the sword is at our throats!"

Just something to thing about lol.

~ The Dragon ~

It is when Satan is introduced as The Dragon that the idea of him falling to the Earth (presumably from Heaven) is addressed in Christianity for the first time. In the Christian Bible, Satan is described as taking the form of a giant seven-headed red dragon, donning ten horns as well as seven crowns, one atop each head. It is described that Satan is "hurled down" to the Earth, as well as his angels that serve him.

+. Quotes From Revelation 12 .+ ❧ Then another sign appeared in Heaven; An enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the Earth. ❧ Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in Heaven. ❧ The great dragon was hurled down - That ancient serpent called The Devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the Earth, and his angels with him.

+. Luke 10:18 .+ ❧ He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from Heaven".

I personally don't really believe in angels or the Christian God, therefore I don't believe in fallen angels and I don't really buy into the divine simply being split up into "good vs evil". Instead, I believe in metaphorical fallen angels; Deities and spirits that were bastardised by Christian extremism and painted as evil, simply because they were anything other than the Christian God (e.g. Baal and Ashtoreth starting out as Canaanite deities and being demonised into the Goetian daemons that are Bael and Astaroth).

I think the whole thing of Satan being "hurled down" was most likely just a metaphor to symbolise his apparent defeat and that he had no place in Heaven, according to the Christian God.

~ The Morning Star ~

I think this is mainly where the whole idea of fallen angels came from, when Satan was conflated with The Morning Star, better known by the name of Lucifer. Funnily enough, Lucifer is never actually addressed by name in the Christian Bible; At least not that I could find. Rather, he is addressed as "morning star" and "son of the morning".

+. Isaiah 14 .+ ❧ How you have fallen from Heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the Earth, you who once laid low the nations! ❧ You said in your heart, "I will ascend to the Heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the upmost heights of Mount Zaphon. ❧ I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High." ❧ But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit.

+. 2 Peter 1:19 .+ ❧ We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

These verses seem to paint Lucifer as some sort of fallen angel that was jealous of God and wanted to rise above him. However, what some may not know is that Lucifer didn't even start off as an angel at all. The name "Lucifer" is Latin for light-bearer. The Greek word for this term is "Phosphorus", which is also the name of a Greco-Roman deity!

Phosphorus was the personification of the planet Venus, which appeared as the brightest "star" in the sky at dawn, hence the term "morning star". Phosphorus was the son of Aurora, the Roman goddess of the dawn, hence the term "son of the morning". So technically speaking, Lucifer and Satan may not even be the same entity. At least, not historically. The concept of Satan originated in Judaism, whereas Lucifer seems to have spawned from the bastardisation of a niche Roman god.

However, when it comes to Luciferianism, Lucifer is seen as a guide/teacher, liberator, guardian, beacon of enlightenment/ wisdom/ truth, and even sometimes the "true god" as apposed to the Christian God. I personally differentiate Lucifer from Satan to an extent in my beliefs, but more on that a little later!

IMPORTANT EDIT: A good friend of mine has since informed me that the aforementioned bible verses weren't referring to the Roman god Phosphorus. I was incorrect about this. The term Lucifer was actually a title applied to the King that ruled over Babylon at the time, most likely Nebuchadnezzar (II) the Great. The King of Babylon was compared to the planet Venus because of his power and influence in the world. He was "cast down to the earth" because of his wickedness. In this context, "Lucifer" was a physical human being; Not an angel, nor a god.

It was only until Christianity that these verses were misinterpreted (probably because of mistranslation issues, though I'm not entirely sure) and the story of the King of Babylon was twisted into the tale of an alleged angel that got his arse kicked out of Heaven for "disobeying God" or whatever lol.

You can read more about the backstory in this PDF I found that goes further into detail here.

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+: In Islam :+

The concept of Satan is also found in the Qur'an under the names of Iblis or Eblis, also known as Ash-Shaytan or Al-Shaytan. He was a djinn and the "leader of the devils" in Islam. On some accounts, Iblis actually started off as a high-ranking angel and went by the name of Azazil (not to be confused with Azazel). Iblis was assigned the role by God of eradicating disobedient and destructive inhabitants of Earth, so that they could be replaced with humans who were more obedient. But when Azazil refused to create a successor, he was punished by being cast down to Earth by God, where he then became a shaytan.

In another account, God created Iblis from the fires beneath the seventh Earth. Iblis worshipped God for thousands of years, and eventually, he ascended to the surface and continued to rise in rank until he accompanied angels in the seventh heaven.

God then created Adam from the essence of clay and breathed life and a soul into him, and ordered the angels to bow down to Adam. But Iblis refused to bow down; Being a jinn born of the essence of fire, he felt superior to Adam and refused to bow down to someone he considered to be below him. His disobedience to God and efforts to prove humans unworthy led to him being cast out of Heaven, where he earned the position of an eternal enemy of humankind.

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So with all of that said, I would now like to talk about my UPG of Satan and my personal spiritual beliefs surrounding him! :)

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+: GIF Credit :+

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༺・ What Does Satan Mean To Me? ・༻

My personal experience of Satan is that he's a very complex figure made up of many different bits and pieces from other spirits and deities. But mainly, I view Satan as being a triune godhead made up of three different beings/aspects; Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet. It's kind of similar to the "Holy Trinity" in Christianity. He's a diagram I made of the "Satanic Trinity" lol.

In my UPG, I see Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet as their own distinct entities, but I also see them as all being aspects of Satan as well. Think of them as being like a hydra dragon; Three distinct heads that all connect back to the same body. I also believe that other daemons can hold this title as well (Azazel, Belzebuth, Mephistopheles, and possibly many more) but I also see the term 'Satan' as just that; a title.

My best friend @sortiarus-de--naturas--daemonum has a really cool UPG regarding Satan as a title. She believes that Satan can be anyone or anything, and that it can also be a title for people who appose Christian (extremist) values. I actually really love this lol and agree with it quite a lot. ^.^

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In regards to the Satanic Trinity, the number (3) is said to historically be a sacred and magical number, revered across many different cultures and religions.

❧ In Celtic Paganism, the Earth was said to be made up of three realms/parts; Land, Sea, and Sky. ❧ In Alchemy, there were Three Primes (tria prima) that corresponded with the three aspects of human nature; Salt (body), Mercury (mind), and Sulfur (spirit). ❧ In Greco-Roman religion and Neo-Pagan religions such as Wicca, the triple goddess was a triune godhead usually made up of three different goddesses (e.g. Artemis-Selene-Hecate) and was usually also associated with the waxing, full, and waning phases of the Moon.

I view Satan in a very similar way to this. I see Sathanus and Lucifer as being almost like polar opposites, with Baphomet being in the middle of both of them.

❧ If Lucifer is Above and Sathanus is Below, then Baphomet is the middling Within and All Around. ❧ If Lucifer is the Sky (Upperworld) and Sathanus is the Land (Middleworld), then Baphomet is the Sea (Underworld) that meets and connects the two. ❧ If Lucifer is the Radiance of light and Sathanus is the Shadow of darkness, then Baphomet is the grey Quintessence in between. ❧ If Lucifer is the Sun above and Sathanus is the Earth below, then Baphomet is the Moon that middles between the two. ❧ If Lucifer is the Waxing Moon and Sathanus is the Waning Moon, then Baphomet is the Full Moon that connects the two moon phases together.

These are the correspondences I personally associate with Satan. I also have my own UPG about how Satan came to be.

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༺・ So... Who Is Satan Then? ・༻

I believe that Satan came to be through many different deities, spirits, influences, and Christian extremist paranoia throughout history. To an extent, I believe Satan to be a spirit shard of sorts. What's a spirit shard, you ask? Allow me to explain...

+: Spirit Shards :+

❧ A spirit shard is when a piece of a deity or deities breaks off and develops into its own entity that stands alone from its fountainhead deity. This is usually the result of vilifying and demonisation of gods from other religions and belief systems, primarily done by Christian extremists.

A good example of this would be the formerly mentioned Bael and Astaroth; I believe they are both spirit shards of Baal and Ashtoreth that came about because of demonisation by Christian extremists, and eventually those demonisations broke off from the fountainhead deities and became distinct daemons.

I also believe that there was some egregoric influence that aided in the creation of Satan as well. Thus, I feel that he could partly be an egregoric entity too.

+: Egregoric Entities :+

❧ An egregoric entity is a spirit, deity, or other type of entity that arises into existence from the collective thoughts, influences, and energy input of a distinct group of people.

Lord/Lady Baphomet themselves are a perfect example of an egregoric deity that arose from the collective belief in them being falsely conflated with "The Devil" by Christians. But more on their origins a little later. :)

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With all of that said, here is my take on how the three main aspects of Satan that are Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet came to be! Please note that this is just my UPG and isn't meant to be presented as an absolute truth or fact; These are just my personal beliefs.

Note: In my practice, I believe in eight elements rather than just five. I believe in Fire, Air, Water, and Earth. I also believe in Spirit, but I split it into three aspects; Spirit Above (Radiance), Spirit Below (Shadow), and Spirit Within (Quintessence). Finally, I also believe in Void as an eighth element, which is represented by The Self, as you are the ultimate creator of your own personal practice. :)

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∙---+ 🜍.~ Lucifer ~.🜍 +---∙

As previously mentioned, Lucifer seems to have originated from the Roman god Phosphorus, a personification of the planet Venus that appears as the brightest "star" in the sky at dawn, called the "morning star". Phosphorus also had a brother named Hesperus, who was basically the same but instead appeared at dusk instead of dawn, and was known as the "evening star". In some accounts, the two gods were later combined into one singular deity.

For whatever reason, this niche Roman god was then dragged into the Christian Bible with the coming of Christianity, thus demonising them and leading to an initial split of Lucifer as a spirit shard from Phosphorus/Hesperus.

Interpretations then spread of Lucifer apparently being some sort of "fallen angel" that was cast out of Heaven for wanting to "rise above God" out of jealousy and pride. They were then conflated with being an evil demon, possibly originating from the benevolent daimon/daemon that was initially a type of guiding spirit that provided wisdom and knowledge, and not actually having anything to do with being evil at all.

Lucifer then started being conflated with The Devil, The Serpent, The Dragon, and the entire concept of Satan in general, thus leading to Lucifer earning their place in the Satanic Trinity.

❧ Lucifer represents higher consciousness, wisdom, enlightenment, knowledge, spiritual liberation and freedom, a guiding light in the dark, expressing/embracing your true self, confidence, standing up for yourself, self-love, rebellion, and always striving to be the best version of yourself.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: ravens/crows, hawks, swans, tree snakes, doves - Colours: icy blue, sunshine yellow, snowy white, sandstone orange, rich golds/silvers/bronze - Element: Air & Radiance (Spirit Above) - Incense/Scents: sandalwood, lavender, juniper, amber, lily - Metal: Copper & Gold - Planet: Venus & Sol (The Sun)

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∙---+ 🜔.~ Sathanus ~.🜔 +---∙

In my UPG, Sathanus is a complex daemon and deity that came into being via multiple sources. I believe that the concept of him spawned in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam; However, he later broke off into a spirit shard and egregoric deity, and further developed into his own entity over time.

As Christianity spread and extremist paranoia began to mount throughout the years, more and more deities were demonised and vilified in comparison to the Christian God. Deities such as the Greek Pan, the Celtic Cernunnos, and the Canaanite Moloch were all conflated with "The Devil" and falsely assumed to be demons. Overtime, attributes and pieces of these gods and many other vilified horned deities began to feed into the concept of Satan; And in an egregoric fashion, Sathanus evolved into a daemon and deity of his own.

He even has entries in several demonology grimoires that were written within the past few hundred years (e.g. Livre Des Esperitz and Liber Officiorum Spirituum).

Sathanus is primarily The Serpent, The Devil, and The Dragon. In the Garden Of Eden, he showed Eve that she wasn't bound to follow the rules of God if she didn't want to. He gave her the fruit of the Tree Of Knowledge to open her eyes and show Eve that she had freewill and could be the god of her own life. At least, that's my interpretation of it anyway lol.

Some rumours suggest that The Devil appeared at Witches' Esbats as a "great black goat with a candle between its horns". In this account, he was referred to as "The Witches' Devil".

❧ Sathanus represents worldly pleasures, power through knowledge, self-leadership, ecstasy, strength, confidence, insurgence, finding/embracing the beauty in darkness, finding hidden wisdom, nature, deliverance from limitations, courage, hedonism, and liberation through "sin" and freewill.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: dragons, snakes, goats, bats, spiders - Colours: blood red, jet black, electric blue, rich golds, rosewood / dark strawberry pink - Element: Fire, Earth, & Shadow (Spirit Below) - Incense/Scents: dragon's blood, rose, cinnamon, black opium, sandalwood - Metal: Lead & Titanium - Planet: Saturn & Terra (The Earth)

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∙---+ ☿.~ Baphomet ~.☿ +---∙

A lot of people don't actually believe in Baphomet as an existing daemon or deity, but rather simply as a symbol representing universal balance; However, from my personal experiences, they definitely are a very real entity. But how did they even come into being? Let's have a look at the history of Baphomet, and how they came to be associated with Satan later on.

Baphomet was said to have been a Pagan deity or idol that was allegedly worshipped by the Knights Templar. The name Baphomet first appeared in trial transcripts for the Inquisition of the Knights Templar starting in 1307. However, there doesn't seem to be any evidence that Baphomet was worshipped by the Knights Templar. Furthermore, it has been stated that the name Baphomet was actually a bastardisation of the name Muhammad, the founder of Islam.

It wasn't until the 19th century that the well-known illustration of the "Sabbatic Goat" was drawn by Éliphas Lévi. It was comprised of a number of binary elements in order to symbolise the "equilibrium of opposites"; Half-human and half-animal, male and female, good and evil, light and darkness, above and below, mercy and justice, etc. Lévi's goal was to symbolise his own idea and concept of balance, with Baphomet being an ultimate symbol and personification of "The Absolute".

But what many may not know about Baphomet, is that Éliphas actually drew inspiration from two distinct existing deities to create his Baphomet illustration; The Greek Pan and the Egyptian Banebdjedet. Lévi equates his image with a god that went by the title of "The Goat Of Mendes" (Mendes is the Greek name for the ancient Egyptian city of Djedet). On some accounts, it is said that Pan is The Goat Of Mendes, but it is much more likely that this title referred to Banebdjedet instead, who was mistaken to have been goat-headed instead of sheep-headed.

The chief deities of the city of Mendes were the ram deity Banebdjedet (meaning "Ba of the Lord of Djedet"), who was said to be the Ba of Osiris, as well as his consort Hatmehit, the fish goddess. In my UPG, Baphomet was partially conceived through these two deities, as well as through Éliphas Lévi's illustration.

❧ Baphomet represents ultimate balance, equity, unity of the universe and all its elements, cosmic order, the cycles of life/death/rebirth, queerness, beauty, duality, love and peace, creation, liberating knowledge, embracing/becoming your true and best self, creativity, wisdom, manifestation, and nature itself.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: sheep, goats, rams, cats, sea snakes - Colours: amethyst purple, sapphire blue, stormy grey, charcoal black, oceany blue-green - Element: Water & Quintessence (Spirit Within) - Incense/Scents: oud, patchouli, sandal rose (sandalwood and rose), frankincense, myrrh - Metal: Mercury & Silver - Planet: Mercury & Luna (The Moon)

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+: Divider Border Credit :+

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Please keep in mind that all of the correspondences and associations listed here are brief summaries of my UPG regarding these three deities/daemons. I will be making additional posts going into further detail regarding Satan as a triune godhead, hopefully in the near future! I'm not sure when the posts will be out though lol.

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Welp, that's pretty much it for this post! Holy shit this took me so long to write. 😭 I hope this has helped you learn more about Satan origins, and Satan as a concept as well as an entity!

I wish you well on your spiritual path. :)

༺⋆✦. Ave Satanas .✦⋆༻

-Korv

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Today, on 19th January, 1978

Group Interviews - Circus Magazine

Queen Deserve Rock's Royal Crown?

by Rosy Horide

Freddie Mercury and Brian May Hawk their 'News Of The World'

Freddie Mercury is no longer the leader of Queen. Has he been fired, you ask, or is he off to pursue a solo career? No it's simply, with the advent of News Of The World LP (Asylum) the personality of the music and of Brian May, drummer Roger Taylor and bassist John Deacon have come across more strongly than ever before.

Those who have seen them on the recent US tour notice more than ever before that they're a group comprised of four separate identities, not just a lead singer and background band. Freddie Mercury is delighted to hear it.

'I've never considered myself the leader anyway,' says irrepressible Freddie. 'The most important person, perhaps.' And guitarist May agrees.

'Our separate identities do come to the fore on this album, on which every cut is completely different from the one before it and there's no concept at all. Apart from each having contributed two tracks to the album, Roger and John have been much more involved in the playing. Roger plays rhythm guitar on some of his cuts ('Sheer Heart Attack' and 'Fight From The Inside') which makes sense, because he had a better idea of how he wanted it to go. John plays acoustic guitar on one of his as well ('Who Needs You'). I played maracas on it. While we may not do it that way on stage, in the studio that makes more sense.'

Brian also does a lot more singing of his own songs on News, but he's content to let Freddie do the singing on stage.

'He's a natural performer,' asserts Brian. 'He acts on stage as if he was born doing it. That's great for us. We wouldn't want it any other way.'

As May and Mercury emphasize, it's not just musically that shifts occur in the group.

'John keeps a very close eye on our business affairs,' says Freddie. 'He knows everything that's going on and shouldn't be going on. If God forsakes us now the rest of the group won't do anything unless John says it's all right.

'Roger is very important to us in a different way. He's always been an out-and-out rock & roll fan with no time to stop and think about music and that's very good for us. Instinct. He's also the one who is most aware of facets in music, and that's essential in the band. If you listen to 'Sheer Heart Attack' on the new album you'll see what we mean. It sounds like a punk, or 'new wave' song, but it was written at the same time of the Sheer Heart Attack LP. He played it to us then but it wasn't quite finished and he didn't have time to complete it before we started recording. That was three years ago and now. . .almost all these records you hear are like that period.' And Roger now? 'He was into punk for a long time, but he's tired of it.' More about the album later.

But if you still don't believe no crown of leadership rests on the mercurial head of Freddie, it's worth repeating his comment about the composition of the group.

'If anyone left Queen, anyone of the four, that would be the end of Queen. We are four equal, interwoven parts. And the others just couldn't function the same without each quarter.'

Queen have just finished a special tour of the states. Not the longest they've ever undertaken, by any means, but special nevertheless.

'It was the first tour we've ever done without the support band,' Freddie explained. 'There was so much going on on stage that I doubt there would have been room for another band anyway. We have so much material we want to play for people now that it would have been far too long a concert. It's hard enough anyway to know what to leave out: we'd like to play all the new material, but there are some things we just would not dare leave out or I think the fans would lynch us.'

It was the sort of tour most rock bands dream of doing. Brian agrees: 'We've managed to get some of the most sought after halls there are, even though the tour was short. Most of them are places we've played before. In some cities we had to settle for second, alternative choice auditoriums - the thing was set up so fast. It was also a very compressed tour - 35 dates in six weeks. We did very large halls because we wanted to do a fuller show and our rig was about twice as big as ever we used before.

'It provided a complete stage environment, with an extension stage, three trailers and enormous lighting gimmick not just for New York and Los Angeles. That's why we booked big halls, so that we could give everybody the complete show. We first used our crown centerpiece at London's Earl's Court concert over the Jubilee. At the time, we didn't envisage being able to take the crown on tour with us, but we managed to have it demounted into a portable object. And so we had it for all the gigs. It made the most ambitious backdrop we've ever attempted, but it was worth it. The fans seemed to enjoy it and they are what matter.'

That last remark of Brian's is typical of the group's attitude towards their fans, for they have one of the closest rapports with the fans of any in the business. The same cannot be said for their relationship to the music press, however, especially in Britain. In fact, many people thought the chart-popping single 'We Are The Champions,' was Queen's way of telling the press in no uncertain terms that they've made it without them. Others thought it an arrogant statement about their rock supremacy. But how do they feel? First Freddie, who wrote the song:

'Certainly it's a relationship that could be, but I was thinking about football when I wrote it. I wanted a participation song, something that the fans could latch on to. It was aimed at the masses; I thought we'd see how they took it. It worked a treat. When we performed it at a private concert in London, the fans actually broke into a football chant between numbers. Of course, I've given it more theatrical subtlety than an ordinary football chant. You know me.

'I certainly wasn't thinking about the press when I wrote it. I never think about the British music press these days. It was really meant to be offered the musicians the same as the fans.

'I suppose it could also be construed as my version of 'I Did It My Way.' We have made it, and it certainly wasn't easy. No bed of roses as the song says. And it's still not easy.'

Brian concurs, 'You know, songs aren't always about what the words say. Messages in songs can appear different. I always see that as the difference between prose and poetry. Prose can mean exactly what it says, while poetry can mean the opposite. That goes for this song. Freddie's stuff is often tongue-in-cheek anyway, as you know. This song is very theatrical. Freddie is very close to his art. You could say, he's married to his music, whether it's 'I Did It My Way' or his 'There's No Business Like Show Business.' I must say, when he first played it for us in the studio we all fell on the floor with laughter. So many people in the press hate us because we've side-stepped them and got where we have without them.

'But there's no way the song says anything against our audiences. When the song says 'we,' it means 'us and the fans.' When we did that special concert, the fans were wonderful. They understood it so well. I know it sounds corny, but it brought tears to our eyes.'

Freddie and Brian are unanimous on that: the spontaneous responses to 'We Are The Champions' really move them. But that is the kind of general response News Of The World has received because, as Brian may says, 'It's a spontaneous album. I think we've managed to cut through to the spontaneity lacking in our other albums. I have no apologies to make for any of our previous albums. We're proud of them and wouldn't have let them out if we weren't. But I now feel some may have been over-produced, so we wanted to go with a more spontaneous rock & roll based album. It was nice to do something that didn't need such intensity. For example, with 'Sleeping On The Sidewalk' we did it in one take because it just seemed right the first time. We like to think of the album as a window on an unguarded moment, not a set piece. Each cut seems to do that, from the participation songs to Freddie's mood pieces. Even his numbers on the album are different, from his heavy 'Get Down, Make Love' to 'My Melancholy Blues,' which is just what it says.'

Brian admits that his own material is different too. But he still tries to keep his private life separate and out of his songs as much as possible.

'If you don't keep something back, it can be very bad for you.'

But for the band both the album and the tour are in the past and they have to look at the future. They got back to England on Christmas Eve.

'My mother would have killed me if I wasn't home for Christmas. I haven't missed one yet,' says Freddie. And the others felt the same.

It's time for some stock-taking. We've all become businessmen,' admits Freddie, 'even though it's against our better judgment. It's something that always happens if you get successful. Being a musician is not just cutting discs, unfortunately. I wish it was. We've all got companies now, some connected to music, others not. I'm producing Peter Straker, I have my car company. . . and lots of other fingers in other pies. We must take some time off to get things in perspective, or things will start to go wrong.

'Then there's been talk of doing a big world tour - Britain, South America, Japan, and of course the States as well as lots of other places. But that won't be until later in the year.'

So, American fans will have a chance to see Queen in 1978.

'You must tell them not to be too greedy, thought,' warns Freddie. They've already seen more of us than any other country.'

And what about a message for the American fans, Freddie?

'They know we love them. Apart from that, oh, say something outrageous for me.'

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

Assigning Every Fall Out Boy Song to The Life Series

because i'm a normal person with normal person feelings about fall out boy's discography and the life series. trust me.

“every” is a strong word here because fall out boy's discography is Literally Like 150+ Songs so i’m only doing the songs off their main 8 albums in this post. if enough people ask (which i seriously doubt will happen), i’ll do the eps+remixes as well.

sorry if there is an overabundance of certain characters/a lack of certain characters. i tried to include people are frequently as possible but a: i am inherently biased (though some of my faves are pretty underrepresented), b: not everyone has the same amount of content to draw from because they haven't all been in every season and c: some of these guys are simply not fall out boy characters to me. it's just how it is.

so, under the cut will be, in release order, every fall out boy song assigned to a life series character/event+the lyric that i think best represents why i assigned it.

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today: DL!Pearl

To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar (to my favorite scar!)/I could have died with you/I hope you choke on those words that kiss that bottle/Confess (so bury me in memory)

Dead on Arrival: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

This is side one, flip me over/I know I'm not your favorite record/The songs you grow to like never stick at first/So I'm writing you a chorus, and here is your verse/No, it's not the last time, 'cause I'd never say no to you/This conversation's still dead on arrival/And there's no way to talk to you/When you're dead on

Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy: DL!Etho (JUST TRUST ME. AND ALSO GO WATCH THE BIT WHERE FINDS OUT BDUBS+IMPULSE ARE SOULMATES)

When I wake up/I'm willing to take my chances on/The hope I'd forget that you hate him more than you notice/I wrote this for you (for you, so…)/You need him, I could be him/I could be an accident, but I'm still trying/And that's more than I can say for him/Where is your boy tonight?/I hope he is a gentleman

Saturday: SL!Gem

Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision/And mess of youthful innocence/And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived/More than an hour (More than an hour)/When I say/Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah/I can't sleep, in the wake of Saturday

Homesick at Space Camp: Post 3L!Skizz

Tonight is all about "We miss you" now/These friends are, new friends are golden

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here): Post DL!Joel

Every friend we ever had in common/I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you/You can thank your lucky stars/Everything I wish for will never come true/When you go, I will forget everything about you

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: LimL!Martyn

You want apologies, girl, you might hold your breath/Until your breathing stops forever, forever/The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips/I hope they taste of me forever

The Pros and Cons of Breathing: DL!Pearl

Woah, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself/You know that I could crush you with my voice/Stood on my roof and tried to see you/Forgetting about me/Hide the details/I don't want to know a thing

Grenade Jumper: The Heart Foundation

They'll say it's not worth it, so we'll leave this town in ruin/Living like life's going out of style, and you came to watch us play/Like a "big shot talent", but at the end of the day you know/Woah, those busted lips we take back home

Calm Before The Storm: DL!Ren

You said/Between your smiles and regrets/"Don't say it's over"/Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over: DL!Jimmy and Tango

I can't wake up to these reminders of who I am/A failure at everything, 18 going on extinct/I know my place, it's nowhere you should roam

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes: SL!Jimmy

I'm all ears and I'm all scars/To hear you tell me, "Boys like you, you try too hard/To look not quite as desperate," I'm hanging on/But I still know the way to make your makeup run/So, and when it all goes to Hell, will you be able to tell/Me "sorry" with a straight face?

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued: 3L!Impulse

We're only liars but we're the best (We're the best)/We're only good for the latest trends/We're only good 'cause you can have almost famous friends/Besides, we've got such good fashion sense

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World: 3L!Ren and Martyn

You only hold me up like this/'Cause you don't know who I really am/Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

Dance, Dance: DL!Bigb and Ren (Ren perspective, also this is specifically applicable most antagonistic moments of their relationship we get, to be clear. This is not the usual approach I take to them.)

You always fold just before you're found out/Drink up it's last call/Last resort, but only the first mistake, and I/I'm two quarters and a heart down/And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds/These words are all I have so I'll write them/So you need them just to get by/Why don't you show me a little bit of spine/You've been saving for his mattress, love

Sugar, We’re Goin Down: Martyn

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)/And sugar, we're going down swingin' (Take back what you said)/I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)/A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner: LL!Cleo

I keep my jealousy close/'Cause it's all mine/And if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one/Lyin'

I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Songs): Joel

Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"/We're the kids who feel like dead ends/And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses/I took a shot and didn't even come close

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen): LimL!Grian

Sitting out dances on the wall/Trying to forget everything that isn't you/I'm not going home alone/'Cause I don't do too well on my own

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year: SL!Skizz

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers/Delivering just what you need/We're well-read and poised/We're the best boys/We're the chemists who've found the formula/To make your heart swell and burst/No matter what they say/Don't believe a word

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends: DL!Joel and Etho

Strike us like matches, 'cause everyone deserves the flames/We only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame/At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining/Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame, such a shame

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me: Scott

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends/And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again/And I've got arrogance down to a science/Oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends, now

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”: LL!BigB

I confess, I messed up/Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around/And I know you dressed up/"Hey, kid, you'll never live this down"/And you're just the girl all the boys wanna dance with/And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances/I'm sleepin' on your folks' porch again, dreamin'/She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows): DL!Grian and Scar (Scar POV)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)/Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one/And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

XO: LL!Mumbo (Look, this is a stretch, I'll be real, but this song was giving me so much fucking trouble. Let me live.)

To the "love," I left my conscience/Pressed between the pages of/The Bible in the drawer, "What did it ever do for me"/I say/It never calls me when I'm down/Love never wanted me, but I took it anyway/Put your ear to the speaker and choose love or sympathy/But never both, love never wanted me

Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers: SL!Tango

Here's a picture with a note, "No, don't turn out like me"/It's only for your own good/No-oh, oh, oh/And haven't you heard, the word on the street is/"I lost it, called it quits," get out into the sun

The Music Or The Misery: LL!Bdubs and Etho (Etho perspective)

I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back/It's true, romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head/And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your friend/Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break

INFINITY ON HIGH

Thriller: SL!Scar

Last summer, we took threes across the board/But by fall, we were a cover story, "Now in stores"/Make us poster boys for your scene/But we are not making an acceptance speech

“The Take Over, The Breaks Over”: LimL!Cleo

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?/Style your wake for fashion magazines, oh-oh-oh/Widow or a divorcee?/Don't pretend, d-d-d-don't pretend/We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces/We're trapped and well concealed in secret places/We don't fight fair

This Ain’t A Scene. It’s An Arms Race: SL!Scar

I am an arms dealer/Fitting you with weapons in the form of words/And don't really care which side wins/Long as the room keeps singing/That's just the business I'm in

I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You): SL!Jimmy and Martyn

We're the new face of failure/Prettier and younger, but not any better off/Bulletproof loneliness/At best, at best

Hum Hallelujah: LL!Cleo

I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light/A teenage vow in a parking lot/'Til tonight do us part/I sing the blues and you swallow them too/My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Golden: Joel (LimL especially, but also just in general)

How cruel is the golden rule/When the lives we lived are only golden-plated?/And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me/Though I carried carats for everyone to see/And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies/And all the lovers with no time for me/And all of the mothers raise their babies/To stay away from me

Thnks fr th Mmrs: LimL!BigB and Pearl

Been looking forward to the future/But my eyesight is going bad/And this crystal ball…/It's always cloudy except for (Except for…)/When you look into the past (Look into the past…)/One night stand…/One night stand off!

Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?: LimL!Skizz

They say quitters never win/But we walk the plank on a sinking ship/There's a world outside of my front door/That gets off on being down/Oh-oh, oh-oh/I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all/And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, whoa-oh

The (After) Life Of The Party: Scar, again. I don't know what to tell you, this is a very Scar album.

I'm a stitch away from making it/And a scar away from falling apart, apart/Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate/And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

The Carpal Tunnel Of Love: LL!Mumbo and Jimmy

Tired yawns for fawns on hunter's lawns/We're the has-beens of husbands/Sharpening the knives of young wives/Take two years and call me when you're better

Bang The Doldrums: DL+LimL!Jimmy and Tango

The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved/They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date…/And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me/The same way I think of you/This is a love song in my own way/Happily ever after below the waist/Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end/Better off as lovers

Fame > Infamy: LL!Joel

I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with/Such wit without a conscience equipped/I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa/There's too much green to feel blue

You’re Crashing, But You’re No Wave: This is far from the only FOB song about a sensitive topic but it's one of the like... two that I don't feel comfortable assigning to something.

I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers: DL!BigB

You're a canary, I'm a coal mine/'Cause sorrow is just all the rage/Take one for the team/You all know what I mean/And I'm so sorry but not really/Tell the boys where to find my body

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: DL!Impulse and Bdubs

Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns/I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes/You know, it's strange/It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you/I'm supposed to love you/I've already given up on myself twice/Third time is the charm, third time is the charm/Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a/Lousy arm

It’s Hard To Say “I Do”, When I Don’t: Am I allowed to say this is a Watchers song? I don't care I'm saying it.

I speak fast and I'm not gonna repeat myself, no/So listen carefully to every word I say/I'm the only one who's gonna get away/With making excuses today/You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

FOLIE A DEUX

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes: Impulse

Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine/What a match, I'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet/So boycott love, detox just to retox/And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

I Don’t Care: LL!Fairy Fort

Let the leaves fall off in the summer/And let December glow in flames (In flames; oh)/Erase myself and let go/Start it over again in Mexico/These friends, they don't love you/They just love the hotel suites now

She’s My Winona: SL!Martyn

We didn't come to compete, this is a demonstration/Even the young ones become irrelevant/They always bring up how you've changed

America’s Suitehearts: SL!Gem

Let's hear it for America's suitehearts, but I must confess/I'm in love with my own sins/You can bow and pretend that/You don't, don't know you're a legend, oh/Time, time, time hasn't told anyone else yet

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet: LimL+SL!Cleo, Bdubs, and Etho

Does your husband know the way that/The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?/Does he know the way, does he know the way/Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?/But I will never end up like him/Behind my back, I already am

The (Shipped) Gold Standard: LimL!Bdubs

All the yes-men said "No comment"/My mouth got going/The wrong way, and all the calls started snowing/The time my dad caught me a horseshoe crab/And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back/I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs/But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

(Coffee’s For Closers): LL!BigB

Though change will come, oh, change will come/I will never believe in anything again/We will never believe again/Kick drum beating in my chest again/No, we will never believe again/Preach electric to a microphone stand, oh

What A Catch, Donnie: This song is a compilation of different vocalists from bands associated with the band, a compilation of previous songs of theirs, and one of the only FOB ballads. I can't pull a specific lyric, but this one could be solidly used for a compilation/retrospective of every season so far.

27: This is the other one I don't feel comfortable assigning to anything. Moving on.

Tiffany Blews: SL!Lizzie

I'm not a crybaby/I'm the crybaby/A caterpillar that got stuck/Mr. Moth, come quick with any luck/A long walk to a dark house/A Roman candle heart, keep us far apart/I'm cocktail party doin' alright, hate me baby/Maybe I'm a piece of art/Oh, my friends all lie and say/They only want the best wishes for me

w. a. m. s.: LL!Mumbo

I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts/Of an old one's head/When all the others were just stirrin' awake/I'm tryin' to trick myself to fall asleep again, whoa

20 Dollar Nose Bleed: Dogwarts

When I look at the man who would be king, the man who would be king/Goes to the desert, the same war his dad rehearsed/Came back with flags on coffins and said, "We won, oh, we won"/Permanent jet lag, please take me back (Please take me back)/Please take me back, (ooh, ooh)/I'm a stray dog sick, please let me in

West Coast Smoker: SL!Joel

Wishes bounce me weightless/The infrared scope on pointlessness/The bulls are sedated/And this fight's fixed

Pavlove: SL!Tango

Something make my chest stir/Something make my head blur/Oh, oh, I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no/Oh, oh, I'm just such a happy mess, whoa

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

The Phoenix: Team TIES

Bring home the boys in scraps, scrap metal the tanks/Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up): LL!Cleo

I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see/That you're the antidote to everything except for me/Through a constellation of tears on your lashes/Burn everything you love then burn the ashes

Alone Together: The Roomies (Cleo, Etho, and Grian)

I don't know where you're going/But do you got room for one more troubled soul?/I don't know where I'm going/But I don't think I'm coming home/And I said, "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"/This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go: LL!Tango

I'm here to collect your hearts/It's the only reason that I sing/I don't believe a word you say/But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday: LL!Bdubs and Etho

If heaven's grief brings hell's rain/Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday/(I know I'm bad news)/For just one yesterday/(I saved it all for you)

The Mighty Fall: DL!Divorce Quartet

Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme and I'm dizzy on dreams/(And I'm dizzy on dreams)/But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one/Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it/(Gutter where we found it)/'Cause you think, you think your only crime is that you got caught

Miss Missing You: Impulse and Bdubs (Impulse POV)

Baby, you were my picket fence, I miss missing you now and then/Chlorine kissed summer skin, I miss missing you now and then/Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger/The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger/Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you now and then

Death Valley: This is the soundtrack to the LL Battle Royale Finale

We're going to die, it's just a matter of time/Hard times come, good times go/I'm either gone in an instant/Or here 'til the bitter end, I never know

Young Volcanoes: The Heart Foundation

C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered/Run it up the flag pole/We will teach you how to make boys next door/Out of assholes (Hahaha!)/Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds/It's all over now

Rat A Tat: LL!Grian and Mumbo (mostly Grian POV)

But I'll take your heart served up two ways/I sing a bitter song/I'm the lonelier version of you/I just don't know where it went wrong

Save Rock And Roll: DL!Pearl

I cried tears you'll never see/So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be/You are what you love, not who loves you/In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream/No, no (No, no)/Wherever I go, go (go, go)/Trouble seems to follow

AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO

Irresistible: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

Count me in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile/I just follow your scent/You can't just follow my smile/All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine/Cutting me to the bone/Nothing left to leave behind/You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon/I didn't come for a fight but I will fight till the end/This might be your battle, might not turn out okay/You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so LA

American Beauty/American Psycho: LL!Scott

I think I fell in love again/Maybe I just took too much cough medicine/I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet/The best worst thing/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out

Centuries: LimL!Martyn

And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name/Cause I was only born inside my dreams/Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you/Cause I am the opposite of amnesia

The Kids Aren’t Alright: The Mounders

It twists my head just a bit to think/All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead/And in the end/I'd do it all again/I think you're my best friend

Uma Thurman: 3L!Cleo

You'll find your way/And may death find you alive/Take me down the line/In Gem City, we turn the tide

Jet Pack Blues: Impulse and Bdubs

Honey, don't you leave/Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?/It never mattered what it was, I think/Our heads were just that close/The sweetness never lasts, you know

Novocaine: Guess what, it's Joel again. I'm not even a Joel main why is this happening.

In the truly gruesome do we trust/I will always land on you like a sucker punch/Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare

Fourth Of July: LL!Lizzie and Cleo (Lizzie POV)

I said I'd never miss you/But I guess you never know/May the bridges I have burned/Light my way back home on the fourth of July/I wish I'd known how much you loved me/I wish I cared enough to know

Favorite Record: Post DL!Jimmy

You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved/Play it again and again and again/And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals: 3L!Grian and Scar

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)/(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)/Oh, I try to picture me without you, but I can’t/'Cause we could be immortals/Immortals/Just not for long, for long/And live with me forever now/Mmm, pull the blackout curtains down/Just not for long, for long

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC): SL!Martyn and Jimmy

I just need enough of you to dull the pain/Just to get me through the night 'till we're twins again/'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again/'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again/And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on/Up above our heads droning on and on and on/Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love/I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that

MANIA

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea: 3L!Ren

I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee/And I'm stuck, night vision, so stuck, night vision/But I come to life, come to life/Some princes don't become kings/Even at the best of times, I'm out of my mind/You only get what you grieve

The Last Of The Real Ones: Bdubs

My head is stripped, just like a screw that's been tightened too many times/When I think of you, when I think of you/I will shield you from the waves if they find you/I will protect you, I will protect you/Just tell me, tell me, tell me I, I am the only one/Even if it's not true, even if it's not true, yeah

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T: DL+LimL!Etho and Joel

I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you/Or be just your friend, I love you to death, but I just can't/I just can't pretend, we weren't lovers first/Confidants but never friends, were we ever friends?/But when your stitch comes loose, I wanna sleep on/Every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you/You, I took too many hits off this memory/I need to come down/An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nother day goes by/So hold me tight, hold me tight, or don't/Oh n-n-no, no, this isn't how our story ends

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): LL!Bdubs

There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you (but you)/Than to be loved by everybody but you, (but you) but you/If I could get my shit together/I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again/Never see any of you again/I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space/I-I always make such expensive mistakes

Church: SL!Lizzie

I love the world/But I just don't love the way it makes me feel/Got a few more fake friends/And it's getting hard to know what's real/And if death is the last appointment/Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room (Mr. Stump?)/I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

Heaven’s Gate: LimL!Skizz (right at the end)

I got dreams of my own, but I want to make yours come true/So please come through, honey please, please come through/Oh, go out in the world, start over again and again/As many times as you can

Champion: SL!Pearl

I got rage every day, on the inside/The only thing I do is sit around and kill the time/I'm trying to blow out the pilot light/I'm trying to blow out the light/I'm just young enough to still believe, still believe/But young enough not to know what to believe in/Young enough not to know what to believe/If I can live through this, if I can live through this/If I can live through this, I can do anything

Sunshine Riptide: LL!Scott

The world tried to burn all the mercy outta me/But you know I wouldn't let it/It tried to teach me the hard way, I can't forget it

Young And Menace: LimL!Martyn

We've gone way too fast for way too long/And we were never supposed to make it half this far/And I lived so much life, lived so much life/I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice

Bishops Knife Trick: Bad Boys

I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/It doesn't wanna live in a cage, a feeling that I can't housebreak/And I'm yours 'til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll/Away, I'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST

Love From The Other Side: SL!Etho

I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh, got to give up/Get the feeling, get the feeling, don't fight it, fight it/Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse/And I just about snapped, don't look back/Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand

Heartbreak Feels So Good: 3L!Grian

Is there a word for bad miracle?/Nobody said the road was endless/Nobody said the climb was friendless/But could we please pretend this won't end?

Hold Me Like A Grudge: DL!Pearl

(You put the "fun" into dysfunction)/Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, woah/Faster and faster, can't do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah/So hold me like a grudge

Fake Out: SL!Lizzie

But I didn't take the love when I had the chance/But I swear I'm not sad anymore/So make no plans and none can be broken/No plans and none can be broken/Do you laugh about me whenever I leave?/Or do I still need more therapy?

Heaven, Iowa: 3L!Scar

And they don't know how much they’ll miss/At least until you're gone like this/Talking to the mirror, say, "Save your breath/Half your life you've been hooked on death"

So Good Right Now: DL!Bdubs

And I know, I know I've made mistakes, yeah/And I know, I know, but at least they were mine to make/They were mine to make/And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me/So, let's drive until the engine just gives out

The Pink Seashell: Ok, I cannot pull a lyric for this because it is the world’s most specific monologue, but the general message of it (“Life is a lottery and bad shit happens all the time, so might as well find happiness in the good things, even the small things.”) feels like it could be Skizz. Just trust me. This one is so fucking difficult.

I Am My Own Muse: LimL!Jimmy

Here I am, not sure you should take a chance/I like playin' dumb, lettin' you figure me out/But I was faded, in my own defense/So, drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about

Flu Game: SL!Joel

Last night I dreamt I still knew you/You/I carved out a place in this world for two/But it's empty without you/I got all this love I've got to keep to myself/All this effort to make it look effortless

Baby Annihilation: Scott

The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years): LimL+ SL!Martyn (but mostly LimL)

Passed my old street, the house I grew up in/It breaks your heart, but four of the Ramones are dead/I felt you at the beginning, but needed you at the end/We're goin' low, low, low, low

What A Time To Be Alive: SL!Bigb

When, when, when I said, "Leave me alone", this isn't quite what I meant/I got the quarantine blues, bad news, what's left?/So, it seems the vulture's gettin' too full to fly, oh/What a time to be alive

So Much (For) Stardust: Ren

I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now/Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'/I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again/Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle/Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah

[worriedvision]

A bittersweet taste - Alhaitham

Hanahaki fic lol, however this time the disease is entirely unknown. As in, there is absolutely no record of the condition. Gender neutral reader

Alhaitham had been more friendly with you than he was with most, you noticed. When you were back from projects you had to work with Tighnari on, he always made sure you felt happy and welcome to stay as long as you wanted. Truthfully, you felt guilty when you had to go for longer times to continuously carry out research, your boss always being the one you worked with. Tighnari, as laid back as he could be, made it clear that he would rather you stayed while you finished work.

You informed Alhaitham of one project that would keep you away for 2 months, and he held back his disappointment. He knew you couldn't help it, but he couldn't help but feel a tight sensation in his chest when you always spent time with Tighnari of all people.

In the first month, Alhaitham developed symptoms that were rather strange. An oddly floral taste that lingered despite having no prior food that had such taste, loss of appetite, and from the loss of appetite came losing energy. He had become bed bound, and Kaveh decided to get in touch with you.

By the time you got there, Alhaitham had gotten over his feelings for you. In his mind, he decided that you had caused this. No evidence could back up his thoughts, but he had a strong feeling this was the case.

You finally showed up, courtesy of Tighnari understanding Alhaitham was sick, Kaveh explaining the situation before showing you to Alhaitham's room. When you enter the room, you see him turn his head, seeing you.

"What?" He grunts.

"Haitham, I heard about your condition, and I was hoping to help out somehow." You start, pulling out a vial for collecting a sample of Alhaitham's saliva. "Master Tighnari re-"

"Of course it's master Tighnari." Alhaitham huffs out. "Listen, I feel better. I was just having an extra day off."

"I'd still like to be here to look after you. Please, I care-"

"I don't." Alhaitham abruptly cuts you off. "I don't care for you."

"Haith-"

"Alhaitham." He cuts you off.

"Alhaitham," you correct. "...It's nothing."

"Were you going to tell me you finally asked out your boss?" Alhaitham huffs, turning his back.

"No, Master Tighnari and myself know the boundaries." You spit out. "I was going to tell you something, but with how you're acting it isn't important to you."

"Why are you still here then?" Alhaitham raises a brow, you not responding as you storm out.

In some cruel twist of fate,you landed up growing unwell. Unfortunately, you simply couldn't let go of the feelings you once had for your friend.