#for the context of the jealous thing just pretend someone got to close to johnny and sonya

[failyaoi]

big big BIG fan of jealous Kenshi

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

[Sorry if this one isn’t coherent. I could not focus on this video for the life of me. It took me three days to get through lol.]

“Don't Trust Anyone” September 23, 2020 - Speaks

Says he wants to make a quick video on why no one should ever trust anyone. [The video is over 40 minutes long 😭]

He wanted to play hero and white knight by giving people he wanted to help things to make their lives better. He’s given thousands of dollars worth of stuff: flat screen TVs, thousand dollar airfares. Males, females, people in their 20′s, 30′s 40′s, etc. People who have met him in person say he’s a generous guy.

Says he gave his mother a quarter of a million dollar house and it destroyed their relationship. He says it showed him the house is more important to her long term. He told her she got the house for free and she said it cost her her relationship with him. He asks why she was letting a house that was given to her for free cost their relationship. He says he offered to buy the house back and she didn’t want to sell it even though it was free. He says he needs a place to film. He says Onision videos aren’t coming back because of his mom.

He doesn’t value his life and he doesn’t have a lot of will to live, that’s why he doesn’t have a filter and tells you how he really is. People play a game to get more respect and money, but he just doesn’t want to exist.

He says there’s at least 10 people he’s given $10,000 of stuff to.

He lived in a laundry room and was on food stamps because his mom was a single mom. He says when people says “it’s only money”, he thinks your a privileged pampered jerk. He says it means a lot to him when someone donates $5 on twitch. He says twitch takes half so he only gets $2.50. [This is really funny when you compare it to the shit he used to say to his fans when he was making over a million a year and the shit he said to them when they wouldn’t pay for the Onision channel when he made it pay to view only.]

He says he gave Cyr food and camera equipment. (Cyr and his gf story.)

Says it’s hard to trust Youtubers because the platform rewards drama. He asks if someone is going to take a DM out of context or lie about wanting to be in a sketch or not. Are you going to pretend to be against something because your afraid of being canceled? He doesn’t want to exist in a world like that.

You invest a lot of time and love in something and it turns around and bites your hand off. People do that because you hurt their feelings.

If you’re not an adult and you’re not blood related to him, he’s a jerk to you so everyone knows he wants nothing to do with you. Besides that he’s nice to pretty much everyone except his mom and an independent voter cousin he has. She stormed off with a red face when he laughed in her face at how stupid she is.

Says his director friend who is very professional and worked with a lot of youtubers said to him, “if only people know you for who you are.” He says he presents himself differently online, using a comedic or acting flair. He did this because he wanted to get the message he’s trying to convey and make an impact. He wants people to feel things when they watch him. The idea of Onision is so big and powerful, it’s impossible to get past the illusion.

He doesn’t feel poly right now. He doesn’t want a relationship outside his husband. It’s too socially complicated to keep two people happy and not jealous. (Chris Rock women try to steal your man quote.) People try to rip apart his 8 year long, successful marriage. He implies Kai stays with him and loves him even when they are at odds, that’s a genuine human being and relationship. Other people pretend to like him. (Moderator said she hated him for a year.)

Says he made a video about cuddlegate and another break up they had with Billie. Says she always visited them, flew out for a week or two weeks. He says it was expensive. He says he asked her if those videos were accurate. She said yes. He says those videos weighed in her favor.

When you sever ties with someone because the person was dangerous to your family, the online community doesn’t care. Certain crimes are acceptable to people online like drug abuse, dealing, lie, fraud.

Describes himself as a goody-two-shoes because he’s a former air force cop. Says people don’t like him because he represents authority, the people who dumped you, your dad, the less hip crowd.

Says Billie admitted she lied on video.

He tries to live in the real world, but he deals with people don’t care about justice or objectivity. They only care about feelings. When all you care about is feelings, then anyone that doesn’t want to be your friend is a monster and a criminal.

When someone blocks him on twitter, he thinks they have the wrong idea about him. He doesn’t hate them and think they’re a terrible person. He’s sure if a person has a coherent, civilized conversation with him, they wouldn’t conclude a lot that’s negative.

Says there’s a lot of cancel culture and #metoo hysteria where people focus on people that hurt their feelings. Says there are a lot of valid #metoo too.

He says talking about women’s rights is compensating and being manipulative. He says someone told him he should do that and he saw it on Amazon’s The Boys. There’s no real consequence. Just social consequence like Johnny Depp’s ex.

People lie and are malicious because he rejected him.

People only care about news about accusations about famous people when people are murdered ever day. You say you’re caring and you just want justice, he can’t help but question your priorities.

Says he was recommended an old update video about himself from Mike who worked with Chris Hansen. He didn’t watch it, he pressed uninterested. Says Mike went to actual court for allegedly groping people.

If Batman was truly against bad people, he would lock up the whole city because bad people are everywhere. They vote, lie, and do things to others constantly based on personal gift. Says he was given an amazing gift to tell the truth. Says it might be the suicidal feelings. He wouldn’t do it, but he would press a button to not exist anymore. He says he doesn’t want to hurt people who care about him. Says it’s contagious sometimes.

Says he’s the giving tree, like the book. Says the tree kept giving and it wasn’t appreciated by the person using it.

Says it’s rare for people to kick him out of their life. (Hannah Minx rejected him story) He says he didn’t blame her and that’s how you handle rejection. You say ok and move on. [lol yeah ok buddy] People don’t give him the same decency.

Says he had a Patreon who donated thousands to him. She had a mental breakdown in front of himself and a few other Patreons during a gathering near Boston. [this is about Dev] She didn't feel like they appreciated her for driving them around, but she was the one that invited them. She’s the reason he doesn’t have meet ups anymore. She was a 30-something woman who lost her mind in front of a bunch of 20-somethings and himself. She burned out the clutch of her car out of rage. She told him she just wanted a clean break after, but he says he didn’t care. He thinks she said that because she didn’t want him to talk about what happened. He says that’s a situation where he’s not negative and appreciates the good things she did, donated thousands to him. He was petrified of her. His two Patreon friends witnessed it and they just wanted water bottles.

He doesn’t think he could have a meaningful relationship now after what he’s been through. Most people he kicked out lost their mind after. Says the ex Patreon didn’t lose their mind after. He says she accused him of sleeping with a 24 / 25-year-old while they were there. They were 40 minutes away from having to leave at the airport. It was 4 am and they were up all night. He was exhausted so he went to lay down in the dark. The two patreons were in the other room. But that women still blindly said they slept together. He doesn’t know who would want to have sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with at 4 am before you leave for the airport.

Someone asked him on Only Fans when he’ll sleep with other people for his pictures. He says he doesn’t know because he has to love someone and be in a relationship with them. He doesn’t want to have a relationship with anyone outside Kai because he’s terrified. Any time he gets close to you people you’re a danger to his family or dishonest.

The cops took Shiloh away when he called them on her and people think she’s some kind of hero. Siren on the rocks. They cry victim and they’re really trying to drown you.

(Skye prenup story)

It’s great he has no friends now. He can deal with loneliness and he has a family. He was giving stuff away and getting little back. He’s finally protecting himself.

Says to make people prove themselves before you let them hurt you. Like getting a tattoo, a spray tan, or dying their hair green. Says don’t actually do that to prove yourself to him. He says that will make you look crazy, he wasn’t being literal.