#for the absence of her friend — queue

[firenati0n]

wip wednesday <3 :)

hello friends, it has been a while...thank you for all of the tags over the last few weeks <3 i really appreciate the love. queueing this post early :)

here's a long snip from something i am writing for fun in a doc aptly titled "proposal au chapter 1 henry pov"

if you have not read proposal au and are interested in a little romcom, here is the link :) - fully posted, 54k :)

Henry has a routine, honed after years of trial and error, comfortably adopted now by him and those important to him. Typically, he wakes up, gets ready for the day, makes sure David has everything he needs in Henry's absence—which reminds him, he needs to ask Alex for more treats soon—and then walks at a moderate but comfortable pace to the 4 train. Somewhere in the middle of all this, his brain spares a moment to wonder what Alex's face will look like in the morning. If his hair will be neat with defined curls, or tousled in a cheeky nod to his night's activities. The latter makes his stomach churn, just a little.  Today, however, feels different. Something is in the air. It goes— David whines at his feet before he leaves, so he takes an extra three minutes to soothe him before leaving, because regardless of what people may whisper behind his back, he's no monster. The train pulls into the platform seven minutes behind schedule, resulting in at least twenty-five percent more congestion and more harried commuters squishing into Henry's space, the air a mix of cologne and sweat and stress.  Then, after walking into the office at 8:25am—too close to his regular time for comfort, requiring him to walk at brisk pace instead of a leisurely stroll—he watches as the people in the elevator don't hold the door for him, even though they absolutely saw him walking hurriedly to catch it. And then, as he's rounding the last corner between him and his blessed office at 8:28am, he gets stopped by Amy and her newest embroidery project, a floral arrangement of sorts, which is admittedly very lovely. Maybe she should work with the design team sometime for one of the book covers, she'd be an excellent asset.  So, he definitely cannot be blamed for his tetchy attitude when he walks into his office at 8:32am, late and desperately in need of some bloody tea. He runs an agitated hand through his hair as he heads to his desk, a thrum of nervous energy making him restless. 

xoxo roop

open tag + tagging back some friends and folks who got me over the last few months fjaskldjflasf sorry if i missed anyone! my brain is like scrambled eggs rn:

@kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius @alasse9 @jafffacakess @porcelainmortal

@run-for-chamo-miles @onward--upward @blueeyedgrlwrites @suseagull04 @judasofsuburbia

@caterpills @rockyroadkylers @seths-rogens @orchidscript @onthewaytosomewhere

@energievie @indestructibleheart @clockwrkpendrxgon @everwitch-magiks @sophie1973

@eusuntgratie @stellarmeadow @rmd-writes @fairflowered @incalamity

@anincompletelist @wordsofhoneydew @cricketnationrise @miss-minnelli @itsmaybitheway

@whimsymanaged @zwiazdziarka @milowren29 @msmarvelouswinchester @sherryvalli

@getmehighonmagic @welcometololaland @thedramasummer @priincebutt @stratocumulusperlucidus

@leaves-of-laurelin @14carrotghoul @anchoredarchangel @clottedcreamfudge @tintagel-or-cockleshells

@dumbpeachjuice @shesfromboston @miharaikko @theprinceandagcd @kj-bee

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #55 – The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez

Introduction

The Spear Cuts Through Water was one of my favorite reads of last year, and I’ve been meaning to get around to Jimenez’ other work basically since I finished it. Months and months later, my TBR pile and the library’s hold queue cooperated and I finally got around to it. Of the two, you can definitely tell Birds is the debut novel, but despite the roughness I can’t help feeling like it's also the one I prefer. I do have complaints (of which, more below), and the story certainly has issues with structure and allocation of wordcount, but this really is the rare book where I feel no compunctions whatsoever giving five stars.

Knowing myself, this isn’t entirely unrelated to how fucking heartbreaking it is at points.

Synopsis

To brutally over-summarize, the book follows Nia, a starship captain hauling crops on a freight route from a ‘resource world’ to Pelican Station, one of the great centers of human civilization and Allied Space. Due to the peculiarities of faster than light travel, the round trip that is for her and her crew experienced as a span of months is for the people at both endpoints an absence of fifteen years – a convenient way for her to keep making the same mistakes as far as personal connections and relationships go. On the last loop of the route before her contract is completed, she finds herself taking care of a mute, deeply traumatized young boy discovered miraculously unharmed by the locals in what seemed like a fiery wreck. The boy – at first nonverbal, inexplicably a musical savant, deeply traumatized and mysterious in a hundred different ways – finds his way into her heart to the point that even after they return to Pelican and he’s been turned over to the security services, she can’t stop trying to find out what happened to him and making sure he’s alright.

It’s at this point that the two of them come to the attention of Fumiko Nakajima, the Millennium Woman – designer of the five great stations at the heart of Allied Space, and (thanks to the magic of cryo-sleep and FTL time differentials) one of the last survivors of long-dead Earth. She sees in the boy the possibility of something miraculous – truly instant interstellar travel – and so hires Nia and a few reliable agents to take him into Fringe Space, safely out of view of any of her ‘friends and colleagues’ who might take a similar interest in him. For fifteen years. The story then reveals itself to be one of, basically, child-rearing and coming of age – at least until the moment where the child’s miraculous abilities really do reveal themselves, and all at once things get much, much deadlier.

Structure

The book is – not quite incoherent (the thesis is very clear), but certainly unfocused. At first I thought that was rather the point – the first three chapters are each incredibly effective, melancholic short stories in their own rights'; each leapfrogging into the perspective of a character whose actions or legacy shaped the previous, but with dramatically different casts, setting and plots. These are almost certainly the most aesthetically successful and artistically disciplined sections of the book, and as I read them I assumed it would continue in the same vein for the entire book.

It does not – the book settles very firmly into being the story of Nia and the boy who is later named Ahro. The middle of the book is an almost light-hearted coming of age story, spread across the years Ahro spends growing up in the Galactic fringe with his ragtag accidental family. The final act then dramatically shifts tone again, becoming largely about recovering from betrayal and the destruction of your life, and of striving in defiance of all sense and reason to reconnect with someone you love.

There are, then, three very different vibes here, and I can’t say the shifts between them are handled with the most grace in the world. The book absolutely never stops experimenting with style either, shifting voice, perspective, level of detail, and even format (several chapters are relayed as diary entries) basically whenever the mood strikes it. It absolutely feels like an incredibly talented author showing off a bit beyond their limits – you can see the seams, the allocation of effort between the parts is...questionable, and there are a couple vital characters/subplots who just needed another chapter or two of focus – but it’s the sort of messiness that leaves me incredibly endeared.

Love, and its Discontents

Those first three chapters are essentially short stories connected by setting and a character or two – but most of all they’re connected by theme. Each is, one way or another, the story of the protagonist falling in love – the sort of love that defines a life, that cuts you to the core whenever you remember it – and then having that love fail, leaving the lover damaged or lessened in a way that never quite heals.

Things do not stay quite so melancholic, but for a story whose whole climax is centered around the quite literally metaphysical and reality-shaking power of pure love this book has a bracingly tragic sensibility of it. Love is hopelessly one-sided, or turns rancid with resentment for just long enough to make sure it can never be restored again. Romances end in betrayal and murder, bonds both sororial and paternal in half-thoughtless abandonment, soul-deep friendships in vicious arguments and a severing of ties. Love, the book says, is deeply contingent and often more transitory than it seems – and if it isn’t, that can do far more harm than good.

Nia as a protagonist has plenty of baggage about this. She’s introduced as a woman with deep abandonment issues – that is, she keeps abandoning people and then feeling bad about it (her ship is the Debby, after the kid sister who lived and died seeing her for a few days every fifteen years due to the time lag of interstellar shipping). She latches onto protecting and caring for Ahro almost more as an attempt at redemption for herself as anything about the boy himself, it’s only over time she really grows to love him as more than a talisman.

I can’t say it was particularly well-spent time, but the book does something I love at least the idea of. Nia’s crew is introduced in the second chapter with a fair amount of detail and personality, each of them having little idiosyncrasies and distinguishing habits and virtues; one is a best friend she found stranded on a wrecked hulk and nursed back to health. The whole dynamic is that of the grumbling and bickering but affectionate found family crew you’ve seen in a thousand other stories. So when she commits to spend up to fifteen years of her life taking care of Ahro on the galactic fringe in exchange for truly unbelievable amounts of money, she sits down with them, tells them the score, and asks them if they trust her enough to come with her.

And all but one of them say no, and never show up in the story again. Which is possibly the first time I have ever seen that kind of scene not end with re-commitment and affirmations of trust from at least most of the real characters that were asked.

This makes the whole found family situation with Nia, Ahro and (most of) the second crew that do spend years in the outskirts of ‘civilized’ space with them works for me far, far better than these things usually do. Because, unlike functionally every piece of fiction I can think of that’s ever been promoted as being about found families, this one really does sell it as something precious and exceptional, rare and worth fighting to preserve.

It also gets all but three of the people involved killed, of course, and of those three one’s permanently crippled and death would probably have been kinder for the second. The book’s really big on stretching ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ to the absolute breaking point – right up to someone choosing not to die despite an existence of nothing but torture and pain just for the infinitesimal bit of hope and connection of a loved one singing through the prison bars.

The Banality of Evil

The villain of the piece is, without question, the monolithic and monopolistic Umbai Corporation, something between a neocolonialist conglomerate and a sovereign, expansionist empire in the classic sense with a few affectations from its earthborn roots (the specifics of the politics of Allied Space are vague and in any case more impressionistic than anything like a detailed speculative political economy). Which is kind of fascinating, in that it is specifically the Corporation as a corporate body that is the villain – agency and responsibility are spread across whole bodies of Allied nobility and corporate Judiciary officials, armored Yellowjacket thugs and career-minded techs and surgeons. There’s no CEO or President, no Board of Directors who set the agenda and bear ultimate responsibility – there’s no face to it at all, really. I’m fairly sure no agent of the company ever even appears twice. Which is just interesting on its own terms, given Umbai as an entity defines both the setting and the plot to dramatic degrees.

The world of the Vanished Birds is a horrifying dystopia in a hundred different ways, but until the very end of the book this just isn’t really something any of the characters particularly care about. It’s in the incidental details and the little asides in the exposition – that there is a great apparatus of censorship on every Allied world dedicated to controlling and slowing the rate of linguistic drift to ease the flow of time-shifted commerce, that the culture and economy of Umbai ‘Resource Worlds’ are societies deliberately starved of information and culturally engineered to be easily managed and quiescent single-commodity resource exporters. Even in the distant past, Umbai and institutions like it used their control over the Ark Ships escaping earth to filter the species – denying berths to (among a great many other things) anyone of ‘problematic’ politics or who seemed likely to be an economic burden.

It’s a universe where this system seems to spread inevitably and irresistibly, everything valuable bought up and parceled out for the benefit of the system’s functionaries diligent enough to save for occasional vacations, and the nobles and officials in the vaunted heights of far-off stations and City-Planets (the allegorical applicability is left as an exercise for the reader, a bit of restraint I did appreciate).

It is, again, not a system that’s worth analyzing as a speculative political economy or technical exploration of neocolonialism either present or future – but it’s not trying to be, either. And it works very well at seeming like a real, functioning world that the characters are just trying to live in.

The Anthropocene

Going off where most of its wordcount is spent, I’m not sure you could really call Birds climate fiction. But if someone was making that argument, I’m not sure you have too much ground to stand on arguing you shouldn’t either.

Fumiko’s first chapter, read as a stand-alone short story, absolutely is – the story of a love affair between genius savant designing the great orbital habitats which will sustain a lucky slice of humanity in the stars, and a talented but less world-shaping scientist doing what she can to lighten the burden of the remaining four fifths of the species being left behind upon the increasingly uninhabitable earth. This is where the book’s title comes from – the gradual disappearance of the birds Fumiko loved as a child, even from the sanctuary trying so ferociously to preserve them.

The world presented in that chapter feels just barely familiar enough to be unsettling, a scarred and fortified world that’s still on a clear and irreversible decline – which might be either chicken or egg to the fact that the commanding heights of government and industry have given up trying to save it entirely to focus on an escape to the stars.

For the rest of the book, environmental collapse isn’t really a topic that much comes up – though the human shaping of and impact on the environment certainly does. It’s just largely a matter of deliberate engineering.

There is, however, a very easy allegorical reading of the fact that on discovery of a way to travel instantaneously between stars, Umbai ruthlessly exploits and monopolizes it to attain unprecedented degrees of power and wealth as they reshape the entire galactic economy – all of galactic civilization, really – around the new technology. All without the slightest thought or care that this new technology is based on harvesting a specific and finite resource and their brave new world will collapse entirely without it. Omelas-child instead of oil but still – not exactly subtle, but I do appreciate the book restraining itself from directly and explicitly pointing it out.

Fumiko

The ‘millennium woman’ is probably the most interesting single character in the book, and also almost certainly the biggest structural weakness in the whole thing. Which is annoying to me, personally. She simultaneously has some of the best chapters of the book and also ends up feeling like a ball being tossed around as the plot requires.

Her Methuselah existence is only vaguely justified and explained, and it’s entirely unclear just how exceptional she is (beyond the fact she isn’t unique, anyway) – the story never even gestures to the existence of any of her peers beyond vague mentions of the Umbai executive class or Allied nobility. She’s an oligarch-savant with nigh-infinite resources and cadres of loyalists installed in every institution worth owning – until a single mistake is made and the powers that be unite in a perfectly coordinated strike to kill them all and leave her stranded in the torn up ruins of her private research colonies among the corpses of two thousand executed minions.

A character being ruthlessly crushed without warning or chance of contesting it by the powers that be rings more true when the character isn’t one of them, I suppose? As it was, it felt like being dropped into the climax of a story without any of the rising action.

The effect is, I think, at least mostly intentional. The entire chapter is about Fumiko being so distracted with the failures of her memory and a complete preoccupation with her latest project (Ahro) that she cannot even pretend to remember or care about this whole vast infrastructure she has built up for her own advancement and curiosity, or the hundreds of followers who treat her as a living saint (to the point of not even remembering her friend, confidant and second in command until the moment before he’s executed for, in essence, her failing to consider the consequences of breaking a minion’s heart). The fact that there’s a battlecruiser en route to bury everything she’s built in napalm and she just forgot to do anything to prepare is actually very plausible. In which case, I just wish it had been ore dwelt upon and made a point of. Or just – it felt like she really needed another chapter or two from her POV before things go horribly wrong, I suppose?

Her chapters are very well-done and affecting, to be clear. And her mirrored character arc with Nia – both women who get a certain pleasure out of other people caring about and being more invested in them than they are in return, both dealing cosmically poorly with rejection, both forever decorating their life in half-conscious memory of someone they left behind – is both well done and compelling (Nia gets better, Fumiko’s story in an elaborate murder-suicide/terrorist attack).

Too Long; Didn’t Read

Beautiful, emotionally affecting book. Very much a debut work from a talented author – experimenting and showing off a bit more than be supported, some fundamental structural weaknesses – but nothing I found detracted from the experience. Actually one of the quite rare books where sitting down and writing out a review has made me like it more rather than less.

[ughkat]

focus on me | l.r.h

part seven

part 6 here

college tutor luke au

a/n: { bit of a slow chapter, part 8 in the works!! :-)}

tutor!luke x fem!reader

cw: cursing, tutorxstudent, very brief mention of blood?

not proofread

_

Saturday

6:00 PM

"Why are you acting so weird?" Leah snapped me from my trance, my eyes glued to my sheets ob the bed below me. We had planned our usual hangout in my dorm, bought a disgusting amount junk food and had a queue of movies and shows waiting for us on my laptop.

It had been almost a week since my last session with Luke, since then, he's disappeared.

I didn't receive any texts informing me of a following session, so I had assumed if I just showed up, so would he. The following days after that Monday, I would stay after class expecting Luke's arrival, but he never showed. I asked my professor if he knew what was going on, he nonchalantly brushed it off. "He'll be back." "Probably has other things to do."

I couldn't help but feel as if he had been avoiding me.

"What? I'm fine." I forced a chuckle, furrowing my brows at my friend. I had failed to tell her anything of worth. How would I tell her I fucked my tutor? The one she knows personally?

Leah gave me a cross look, her smile crooked.

"You're a terrible liar, Y/n." She rolled her eyes. "But, if you say so." She scoffed, tossing a handfull of random chips into her mouth. I sighed, contemplating if I should just "man up" and tell her about my stressing events of the previous week.

I continued to stay in my daze as Leah vegged out on my laptop, watching a TV show I had no interest in. I bit my cheek, my mind wandering to all the possible reasons for Luke's absence. Did I do something? Is it me? Am I being dramatic? What if it has nothing to do with me? Where is he? Why do I miss him?

"Dude." Leah spoke abruptly, widening her eyes at my face, "You're bleeding." I once again snapped from my daze, bringing my tongue to my previously chewed on lip. My anxieties had let me absentmindedly chew enough skin off the corner of my lip, making me bleed.

"Oh, shit." I wiped away the little blood with my thumb, taking a deep breath at my undermined nervousness.

"Seriously, what's going on?" Leah spoke softly, pausing the show on my laptop. She sat criss cross, turning herself towards me to listen. She stared at me with genuine compassion. I glanced at her briefly before darting my eyes to my hands, which were fidgeting relentlessly in my lap. I sighed deeply before speaking.

"I don't know..." I began, "It's a lot... And a little crazy." I shook my head. Leah inched closer, tilting her head.

"You can talk to me, babe." She reassured, poking my knee playfully with a finger. I smiled softly, looking up at her warm face.

"Okay..." I sighed, "You have to swear on your life to keep this a secret. Seriously, this is confidential information." I stressed to my friend, half sarcastically, but genuine. Leah raised her eyebrows at the seriousness, but nodded.

"Of course. What happens in this room stays in this room. My lips are sealed." She smiled. My thumbs twirled in my lap anxiously as I tried ti gather my words neatly and orderly, which ended up coming out like word vomit instead.

"Luke and I..." I started, my eyes glued to my lap, "I fucked Luke... And I liked it. And it happened twice. And now he hasn't been at school in like, a week and I'm worried it's my fault, and he hasn't texted me, and-" Leah threw her hands up in front of her chest, halting my words.

"Yo." She spoke, blinking slowly, "Let me get this straight... You fucked your tutor? You and Luke fucked? Where?! How?!" She exclaimed, speaking with her hands dramatically. I threw my hands over my face in embarrassment, my cheeks started to get hot.

"I know." I whined into my hands, "I don't even know how this happened, Leah." I groaned, sinking into my posture. Leah's mouth was agape, collecting her thoughts.

"Can't he like, get arrested for that?" She asked genuinely. I widened my eyes.

"Can he?!" I exclaimed, "I'm not a child why would he get arrested?!" I yelled in a whisper.

"Cause he's technically a teacher... Right?" Leah furrowed her brows. I shook my head in frustration.

"I don't know, dude. It's all so much." I whined, dropping my hands back to my lap. "Please, don't tell anyone. Like anyone." I pleaded, looking at Leah with genuine concern.

"I won't." Leah reassured, still very obviously mind boggled at the battalion of information she just received.

We sat in a tense silence for a moment before Leah spoke up.

"What are you gonna' do?" She spoke through her teeth. I glanced at her, her expression full of sympathy yet shared stress.

"I don't know. I wish he'd say something. A text. Anything." I mumbled.

"Have you texted him?" Leah tilted her head. My eyes darted around the room. Am I stupid? Of course I am. Why don't I text him?

"I haven't." I shoke my head, reaching for my cellphone beside me. "I don't even know what to say.".

"Uh, I don't know, maybe "Why are you ghosting me I have the ability to ruin your entire career"? Hello?" She spoke with a petty and sarcastic tone, I couldn't help but let a small giggle escape my lips at her immediate hastiness towards Luke's absence.

"I'm not saying that." I scoffed, "I'm not mad at him or anything." I spoke as my thumbs hovered over the screen, looking at our last message threads. My mind raced, what do I say? "Where are you?" "Are you okay?" "Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?".

"Hey. Everything okay?"

I typed out my message hesitantly, my thumb scared of the send button. Leah watched me patiently as I finally hit send, I tossed my phone quickly away from me as I did, as If I was thirteen and texted my crush for the first time.

"Ugh, why does he make me feel this way." I groaned, flopping on my back into my bed.

"I told you he wasn't shit." Leah mumbled. I shot her a death stare before sitting back up.

"We don't know why he isn't talking to me yet. Maybe there's a genuine reason." I tried to stay optimistic. Leah scoffed.

"Right. I hope so.". I bit my cheek with unease as I took in Leah's unenthusiastic tone. I didn't want to believe Luke was avoiding me for any reason. I couldn't imagine what I had done. Though our last session had ended fairly awkward, I assumed the events spilled that day inferred that the stance on our contact with one another was acceptable. Sure, we didn't get to talk much, but I doubted that he would be intimate with me while wanting nothing to do with me...Right?

My eyes found themselves darting to my phone every few minutes, the ringer was off yet I hopelessly checked in the chance that Luke's message silently made it's way through. I tried to stay grounded, have a good rest of the evening with my friend.

"Don't dwell on it right now." Leah gave me a playful shove, noticing my tense posture, "See what happens on Monday." She spoke in a no-sweat tone, an obvious attempt to calm my uneasy feelings.

9:00 PM

A yawn escaped my chest as I gathered Leah and I's mess from just a bit ago, making my way to the bin with handfuls of wrappers, bags, and bottles.

I stopped suddenly in my tracks as a single chime rang from my phone across the room, making my heart jump slightly. Not getting my hopes up, I nonchalantly finished my cleaning, ignoring the notification until I concluded my job. I could feel the idea of the notification belonging to Luke try to take control of my thoughts, but remained calm. Why was I letting him affect me this way? He made me feel crazy.

I leisurely made my way to my bed, getting comfortable in the blankets and sheets before hesitantly grabbing my phone. The screen set aglow to my face as the notification showed iteself to me. Luke. 1 Message.

"Yup."

I furrowed my eyebrows, narrowing my eyes as I swiftly unlocked my phone, opening the whole message thread.

"Yup?" I spoke aloud in disbelief, bringing my phone closer to my face. What did that mean? Yup? I felt myself fill with anger and confusion. I felt as if I'd rather him just kept ignoring me. I scolded myself mentally for my immediate assumptions of the tone of his message, as "Yup" could be spoken in any emotion. I couldn't help but feel immediately insecure, as though his message was standoffish.

My leg bounced hastily, I bit my cheek as a million emotions flooded me at once. I didn't know what to say. If I should say anything at all. What if he's not mad? What if I'm being dramatic? I let myself overthink, staring at his text in a daze.

"Are you sure?"

I typed impulsively, sending without thinking. I just wanted a real answer. Quicker than I excepted, Luke started to type. I felt my heartbeat begin to pick up, feeling silly at how easily he controlled my emotions. His message snatched my attention abruptly.

"I'll see you on Monday."

[relax-and-read-on]

Hi! I'm not dead!

Just had a busy, BUSY year on my head, with little to no time for this blog except for my fanfic update and the queue. So, time for a lil update, and a fanfic recap of 2024!

Hi, I'm Math! I still love warhammer, but I am branching out to other fandom slowly but certainly! I am also publishing original work, both online and IRL. No, yall with not get my IRL stuff. I adore writing more than anything, and in spite of a capricious mental health for the last year (yeah, that's not fun), I still manage! Here are my last year fanfic work:

Counting Stars: the sequel to my soulmate au!!!!! Oh my GOD I was happy to publish to one!!!! My soulmate au is still probably my favorite fanfic I ever wrote, and I cannot be more proud. This one is also super interesting, because it's Mort interacting with various chaos people! So far we have only seen Lorgar, but Fulgrim, Perty and Magnus are incomming.... and a Certain favorite doctor of mine ;)

Supraglottoplasty (softening the larynx): My lord. That fucking fic is probably the most explicot thing I have ever done lmaooo. Fabius fuck eidolon in a neck wound. They are both happy. First fic with that pairing on ao3 lmao!! It was a delight to write

Tender is The Flesh: .... Ngl, this is my *best* writing. Ever. I'm almost mad that it's a fanfic. It's a horror story about Sang comming back to life. It's.... Well. It sure is gory!!! A lot of people loved it, and it was a gift for a dear friend, Allyria. Only took two years to write lmao

Agency: Updated with the Ferrus chapter!!! Oh my god the people were HAPPY about that one, and so was I!!!! I truly loved that fic, and while it is still ongoing, it's slowly reaching conclusion! Aaaaaaah!!!

Northern Lights: My summer fic exchange fic!! T4T Lorgar/Leman and oh my god is it a tender and sweet fiiiiiic. I loved writing it so much :D! Very funny tho that me and LepetitMonstre got each others and basically wrote the same theme. Two cakes!!!

A different Perspective: The Uriel/Honsou arranged marriaged fic!!!! Gaaaaasp! Yes, I did update it, with 50% more terrible SM cooking, and IW home improvement! Fics are never abandoned with, just on long hiatus. Honsou is so insanely fun to write yall. Feral little fuck. https://archiveofourown.org/works/38956062/chapters/97428954

We are going in a different fandom.... The Mothwashing fandom!!! A Jim/Curly medical-ish non-con fic, with a lot of self hatred and weird ugly feels. I love it. If you want some good angst, try it!

40k's Dracula: The spiritual sequel to my Phantom of the Opera au. Primarch, but it's epistolary Dracula! Oh my! How scandalous!!! It's also super fucking gay, not a straight to be seen. Special mention to Amit, who I have written for the first time and is an adorable grumpy vampire!

In Absence: and finally.... My original work. Technically posted in 2025, but started in 2024. It's on Royal Road, because it's not fanwork and I wouldn't do that to Ao3. It's basically a grimdark Isekai, about a poor woman falling into a fantasy world, and realising that death means nothing in it. It just started and will be quite long, but it has all my usual themes, like violence, sadness, and Mysterious Hot Queer People who will Ruin Your Life. It would mean the world to me if you give it a try!

So, that's it! That's what I did, for the year 2024, and I am more than happy to share it with you, and so much more for 2025!!!!

[meandmydisease]

It's been about a year now that I took some time off from this blog. After my dear friend @no-spoons-here passed away, I couldn't bring myself to be active. I kept a queue going, but didn't interact with anyone really. I apologise for that. And while I will try to be better from now on, I cannot guarantee it. She influenced so much of my experience on this site for years that her absence is tough. A year on, it is still tough. That said, I do want to say that I still want to support everyone on here. Chronic illnesses and disabilities are hard and I think supporting each other through it is so important. @no-spoons-here was my biggest support here and outside of tumblr and I hope that I can show the same grace and kindness to others that she showed me. So I'll be more active again, share more personal experiences again and perhaps find that supportive community once again!

[the-wales-5]

"Crazy for this girl" (Chapter 3)

A white strap blouse, denim skirt, slightly seen makeup, and natural hair. Although it was not her intent, “beautiful Kate” captivated everyone again.

Chapter 2

The party that Fergus was speaking about at the rugby match had been organised on a Saturday evening. Prince William preferred to stay at St Salvator's Hall writing some assignments and already attempting to revise stuff before December. He wanted to stay as disciplined as possible. Another reason for his absence was clear: a need to stay alone after days overflowing with irritation towards almost all the students.

*

A group of students was standing in the queue to get “Venice and antiquity: the Venetian sense of the past” by Patricia Fortini Brown. Catherine was getting quite impatient as people were moving very slowly in the line. Normally, it would not affect her, but at that moment, she was taking a look at the watch every few seconds.

“I hope this one isn’t going to be as bad as the one about Greece”

Among the maze of quiet words and voices, that one brought her attention for some reason. Prince William just walked past her with a book in his hand “Your advice paid off, thanks”.

“I am glad to see you with the book" she said and smiled a little.

“How was the party? There's no one to tell me details apart from Fergus from whom getting information is quite difficult if a gathering involves alcohol”

Catherine tried not to laugh “Well, it was an average night, full of drinks and dance. Nothing too good, honestly”

“I assumed that. Uhm, I noticed a book in your bag recently”

“A stolen one?” Catherine teased and caused him to chuckle

“No, not this time. One about Chile. It was my gap year destination”

“One of my gap year destinations as well. Florence first, then Chile”

“We could talk about our experiences”

Catherine looked at the people in front of her, then at her watch once more “I do not think it is possible now..”

“Kate! I’ve got two copies, one for you!” Laura Warshaeur approached her at the same moment

“Oh, thank you! That’s so helpful”

“Go. He’s waiting outside for at least ten minutes”.

“Thanks. Oh, and see you tomorrow for our classes, Steve” she said, walking off.

The person waiting for Catherine was Rupert Finch. The 4th-year law student and her boyfriend.

“You like her, don’t you?” Laura said when she noticed that William was looking at their friend

“She’s helped me recently, that’s all”

*

“Where have you been?” Rupert asked his girlfriend right after she hugged him

“In the library, long queue”

“I hope this is the truth, Katie” he said and kissed her on the cheek

“Why wouldn’t it be true?” She rolled her eyes, but then Rupert put his hand around her, and they went to a restaurant nearby where Catherine got a job the week before.

***

November was shaping up to be a tiring time for everyone owing to next month's Martinmas semester exams. Aware of it William wanted to organise a party to help everyone relax but also to make up for the few parties he had missed. He revealed his plans to a circle of friends he had gotten over the last few weeks while they were sitting in the dining hall.

“Will it be a costume one?!” Laura asked

“No, but I was thinking of a themed one, and the most popular thing these days is Harry Potter as I reckon so might be it” William said

“Sounds great, it’s a pity I am unable to be in two places simultaneously” Catherine sighed

“Why?” her friend Olivia Bleasdale asked.

“People from Rupert’s course are organising something on the same day, and he already confirmed our attendance. It is all planned weeks in advance. I'm sorry”

“A lawyer gathering full of snobbism instead of a Harry Potter themed one, that sounds fun” Fergus laughed sarcastically. Kate took a sip of orange juice “This is not my fault that he planned something, right?” She shrugged off.

Laura looked at William at the same moment as she asked “Is your girlfriend coming?”.

The prince had been meeting Carley Massy-Birch, and their relationship was well-known amongst his friends.

“She hasn't given me a direct reply yet, but I think she'll be there” he replied “Anyway, would 7 pm be the right time for a start?”

“Yes, but only if you want us to be drunk as hell by 9pm, Wills. Make it 8 pm at least” Fergus replied

“That way you’ll be drunk as hell by 10 pm” Catherine said, wanting to have revenge on him for his recent remarks about her boyfriend. Everyone burst into laughter.

“Stop making him feel embarrassed. Boyd knows the reality. He'll be drunk yet before the party starts” Olivia said, and that caused yet another wave of laughs.

“You can help me to write down the list of attendees” William said then

“But this is not a royal gathering, Wales”

The prince laughed and rolled his eyes in a playful way. “I just want to make sure that everyone who attends knows to address me as Steve. For security reasons. Stop teasing me and give me a pen instead”

“I haven't got one. They'll address you as Mr ‘writing names down without our consent’? Be careful. We may all boycott your social event before it even begins” Fergus joked again.

“I was about to write yours right now, but it looks like you are the first to be crossed out instead” William chuckled, got hit on the elbow from his friend, and then finally noted down several names on the paper with Catherine’s pen.

**

“Are you busy or going somewhere in particular now?” William asked her as soon as the rest of their friends left the table.

Middleton looked at the phone and noticed no response from Rupert to a text message that was sent by her yet in the morning.

“I thought that we could finally talk about the Raleigh expedition. For some reason, we had no time for that before”

“Some reason being endless hours of lectures” Catherine remarked, and William looked down, awaiting her final reply, assuming that it would be a negative one.

“Yes, sure. We can talk about it now” Catherine replied within seconds as she switched her phone off at the same time. “Share your experience first. You were there before me, right?” She smiled a little.

As it turned out, the Chile gap year was just the first of many topics they touched upon in a conversation that lasted for almost two hours until they decided to return to their rooms.

“It was so nice to talk and to think about something more than our classes, Kate”

“That was nice for me too," she said as she stared at William, who was slowly going upstairs to his room.

“I hope we'll continue this discussion soon” William said and vanished from Middleton's view. He smiled with his eyes closed, thinking how those few hours were so far one of the best times at St Andrews for him. “I need to give her that pen back finally” William thought when he noticed it in his pocket and slowly turned back. Right at that same time, Catherine saw Rupert on the other side of the hall. She was about to ask why he had been ignoring her text messages and felt ready to argue when she realised that he hid a huge bouquet of red roses behind himself and apologised for his behaviour. Catherine smiled and slowly kissed him on the lips. William had been staring at the scene between the two of them from a distance until Middleton closed her door.

*

“Do we really have to attend that party?” Kate asked her boyfriend while they were on a walk moments after William saw them.

“You had no objection to that before. Why do you ask now?” Rupert frowned a little

“Can’t you call it off and for once go somewhere with me?”

“I am often going out with you, Katie”

“I want to have fun yet before exams, not listen to boring conversations between you and other guys wearing a tie even though they're just 24!” she replied, a little bit louder

“Katie, stay calm, please. Now, all you show is that you are simply over-dramatic. Don't you remember? Raisin Weekend and foam fight had taken place not so long ago, and it was fun, wasn't it?”

“Indeed. The thing is, I just want you to think it all over, Rupert” she said, getting lost in her thoughts. She then simply carried on walking and looking at the early evening's sky from time to time.

*

William was overthinking all those small moments such as Middleton helping him with writing a painting interpretation, letting him compare his most important notes with hers, fun they had during Raisin Weekend and now also that simple conversation they had about Chile, sports, and nature. It all replayed in his mind for hours. Being in a relationship and having thoughts about someone else was a thing he thought he’d never experience.

The moment he woke up the next morning and noticed Catherine’s pen on the bedside table, he felt uncontrollable and inexplicable frustration. He avoided having breakfast with his friends, then checked his schedule and found out that he’ll have eight hours of classes and seminars that day. “It can not get any worse than this” he thought, feeling that tiredness mixed with confusion won’t let him focus on that stuff. Despite that, he went on with his morning routine. Right before closing the door, he took a blue pen from the table. “No smiles or conversations” he planned his next meeting with Catherine Middleton meticulously “I'd just give her the pen, and everything will be normal again”.

*

Due to oversleep, Catherine did not attend the first class that day. Rupert wanted her to take a day off and go on a trip with him. She rejected that offer, but her boyfriend insisted on helping her reach the university building.

Right there, Kate noticed William who just went outside during a break between classes.

“Is that actually him?” Finch asked “I thought he’d be hiding in his room when free”

“He’s not as antisocial as you are and your boys from The Poker Team, it seems” Catherine teased her boyfriend, laughing

“It was not a funny joke, Katie,” he said.

Right at the same moment, Carley approached William. “You seem cross about something, Willy” she said “Look at me”

“We need to talk about something. I am organising a party in a few days, and my question is if you are going to attend. It would be amazing if you do, you know?”

“Isn't it obvious?” Carley said as she put her hands around his neck “I thought you would invite me first” she said and almost kissed him, but William pulled himself away and began to search for a notebook.

“What’s the matter?” she asked

“I’m just searching for something” he murmured, and Catherine's blue pen fell off onto the ground at the same moment.

“This perhaps?” Carley picked it up, feeling perplexed “This isn't yours. I gave you a more expensive one three weeks ago. Don’t tell me you’ve lost it somewhere and replaced it with a cheap one from a shop”

“No. It belongs to Kate” William almost snatched it from his girlfriend's hand

“Kate? The beautiful one?” She sneered

“We're on the same course. I was writing a list of people attending, so I had to borrow a pen from her and..” . At that same moment, he noticed Catherine and called her name. “I forgot to give it to you yesterday”

Middleton said with a tiny smile, “Oh, I've got another pen. You could keep it” and walked off. William turned his eyes towards Carley, who said “You seemed nervous. Why is that?”

“It is not true. I am simply trying to focus on things needed for today's classes. It'll be a long day for me, but we can meet with one another in the early evening” he said and kissed Carley on the lips.

*

He escaped the class an hour earlier than planned in the schedule. Fergus followed him and asked him a question that the prince did not actually register in his mind.

“Steve! Are you still here?” Boyd waved in front of the prince's face to get his attention.

“Yes? What is your problem?”

“It is not really mine, but yours as you seemed to be disoriented by half of the day and left earlier than you should, Steve”

“I do not think it matters to someone apart from you” He pulled out his phone

“I am just trying to tell you that your professor might have an interest in that, you know”

William dismissed these words. Carley got a text message from her boyfriend asking her to come to his room almost at the same moment. She was suspicious but soon excited to have intimate time with him, too, and her assumptions turned out to be right.

*

In the afternoon, Catherine finally could talk about her observations on William with Olivia while they both were at the restaurant before Middleton's shift “Don’t you think that there’s something wrong with him?”

“Why do you think so?”

“He seemed unsettled today, as if he didn’t want to be there”

“You know how this stuff works, right? It’s all boring sometimes, and not every day is full of enjoyment, right? He just had it tough today, I guess. There's nothing wrong with that”.

Catherine chuckled a little bit “Yes, but to be completely honest with you, I grew confused when he was ignoring everything, even when we were supposed to work on a sketch interpretation along with two other students”

“And I assume that you are just overthinking”

“He ruined this presentation with his apathy!”

“Oh, stop it. I repeat that you're overthinking. You know what he went through”

“Yes, and I know how it affects a person. I am studying psychology too, remember? Am I over-dramatic? Rupert told me exactly the same thing earlier” she sighed

“Is it a unique day when I agree with Finch for the first time ever? Unbelievable! “.

They both laughed, and Catherine carried on her work.

*

“Why are you acting so weird?” was Carley’s first question when she met with William for the third time in the evening.

“What do you mean?” He sighed

“This. Exactly this. Your annoyance at each word I say. Our meetings are now sporadic, full of tension”

“We're just a step away from Martinmas exams”

“This is not a clever excuse”

“This is not an excuse at all, Carley. This is our reality right now”

“And because of that reality, we are separated most of the time!”

“Are we? We've met one another three times today alone”

“It comes to me as a surprise. Last week, we barely met one another because you closed yourself in your room to concentrate on your studies. Isn't it outrageous that you prefer to spend time alone rather than with your girlfriend?

“Perhaps, but I swear that there is no other reason than my studies and the necessary planning that goes into our relationship”

“And hence there's no stability either!”

“I am truly sorry for ignoring you as you put it, but I promise that we'll figure it out together.

“How? When?”

“Tomorrow. We can arrange our meetings for the next two weeks”

“Why tomorrow? Why not today?”

“I have some other plans for now. A list to that party that I planned to be in two weeks is still open yet, by the way”

“Oh, is that an official invitation for me?”

“You may treat it as one” William said quickly and put his lips on Carley's in a passionate kiss.

***

Chapter 4

[a-feller]

When reading a book, watching a show or a movie, or even experiencing real life, I often find, when a major character or important person dies, I mourn, not so much the person but more their loved ones, the great bond lost and the incredible damage done to them. Over time, almost subconciously I have grown to value a great bond of love, lust, friendship, romance, great platonic love, or that weird sixth thing two inseperable stray cats have, almost as much as human knowledge, something I greatly revere. This is most prominent in fantasy worlds, where for certain there is some haven beyond the barrier of death, where a person and their knowledge can go to live in harmony after whatever happened to them. Yet leaving their loved ones behind for years to come, perhaps forever. Maybe it is more amplified in the real world, or universes like the star wars one and my belief of real life, where there is no life after death. Just nothing. All bonds severed by death's scythe in one fell swoop.

I will list an example for every book/tv show/movie I can. Spoilers ahead for: The Bad Batch, The Scythe series by Neal Shusterman, Harry Potter, Trials Of Apollo, The Six of Crows duology, The Lord of The Rings

The death of Tech, a clone from the bad batch. His close, paternal bond with Omega, shattered as he sacrificed himself before her eyes, the unrequited mutual love with the pirate lady whom he promised he would come back safely and of course the rest of the bad batch, now a gaping hole within their group.

The death of Tiger, the Best friend of Rowan in the scythe series, slain by people he was played by and his body contorted into a new one for Rowan's greatest enemy. Their friendship gone and spited by the monstosity created from his headless corpse.

The death of Sirius Black and the huge damage it did to Harry and Remus Lupin. Harry losing his first ever loving paternal figure he can remember and Lupin losing a dear best friend (or more considering what half of you post about)

The death of Jason Grace. Killed slowing down an unkillable enemy to save his friends and close-ex-lover Piper McLean, leaving behind at least a dozen dear friends who fought, battle after battle together, almost dying time and time again, only for him to fall far away, after it was meant to be over. And specifically Nico Di Angelo who as anyone who read the book will know had a priceless, unique friendship with him that simply could not be created with another.

The death of Matthias Hevlar, just beggining to fit in with the people around them and his romantic relationship just springing up with Nina, those bonds once again shattered, and the last thing he asked for was a kiss (hold up just gonna go cry for a second).

Edit: The edit is here for the smoothness of the post. I cannot believe I forgot. The very ones who inspired me to make this post in the first place. David and Genya from the Grishaverse and the King Of Scars duology. Another romantic one I'm aware however they had just had a wonderful ceremony, a proper marriage at last. And then David left to go do something and the city was attacked by bomber planes. He wasn't seen throughout the following fight until Genya noticed his absence at the end. They later pulled his body out of the rubble. Some ink Genya was fussing over still there. Queue the funeral, Genya, in private afterwards reads from his notebooks containing all the little things he picked up on that make her happy (hair, skin etc). I am genuinely tearing up just thinking about it. David was also a leader and a role model to the other Grisha, especially other fabrikators. Close friends with Nikolai and Zoya. All of these bonds gone.

The leaving of Frodo Baggins. This one is a little different as he isn't dead but to all of his friends but Gandalf and Bilbo, he is. Never able to be seen or contacted again, no way to hear or feel them either. Sam, who carried him up a mountain. Refused to leave his side ever. Pippin, Merry, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, All his shire friends, All the people they met along the way. Those bonds were shattered as if he was dead.

This last one is very different. It takes place in the real world. This death is obviously a thousand times more important then any of the others. A real human with thoughts, feelings and of course friends. This person is Technoblade. Funny, kind, skillful, he was friends with pretty much everyone he played with, best friends with those like Philza and of course the people around him in real life. The innumerable amount of people he either just made laugh, or helped get through some really dark times. Like me. 10 million people. Bonds reasonably one way but still there. 10 million people. Bonds snapped like rubber bands. All his friends. Online and off. Those he helped, those he inspired. All grieving with that bond suddenly a gaping hole, all lost. o7 Techno. Fly high.

Edit: I cannot believe I forgot. The very ones who inspired me to make this post in the first place,

[coridotmp3]

thanks for the tag, cori! your wip titles are immaculate. I absolutely must know about 99.3 kiss fm, jason sudeikis must pay, and mickey mouse the matchmaker.

:) thank you darling !!

99.3 KISS FM

This one's a college! bob floyd x reader !! bob, reader (nickname: cherry, pronouns: they/them), and various other daggers work the late shift at their college's radio station!! there's just endless amounts of mutual pining, a dash of miscommunication, and so many song references that only i will understand <3

have a little taste:

As the studio filled with the slow strums of “Trust” by Lucy Dacus, you made sure your mic was off before turning to the blob on the couch across from you. 

“Was that still too wordy? I’m really trying to take Penny’s note about brevity to heart but how else am I supposed to fill time?” 

Bob’s eyes shot up from where they had been focused on his laptop, composing his next setlist for the shift after yours. “I don’t think it was wordy but I think your pacing is more of an issue here. You literally said take a breath, but talked too fast to take one yourself. You’ll sound less like you’re rambling if you just slow down, speak with confidence.”

"If I had realized this job would be so stressful, I never would have begged Penny to let me sign up." You pouted, slumping in the desk chair as much as you could without falling off.

“Cherry, you’re fine! It’s not like the 12 people listening to a college radio station are gonna be concerned with your takes between songs. Not when you have the best song queue out of the whole lineup bar one.”

“If that one is you, I’m gonna smack you upside the head, Bo. I’m not listening to a whole night of The Cars, not again.”

“You love The Cars!”

“Yeah, in moderation! Not when I have to hear “My Best Friend’s Girl” eight times in a row at 2 in the morning!”

“I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about you, obviously you have no taste.”

jason sudeikis must pay aka the hangster sleeping with other people au

two lonely souls in college agree to lose their virginities to each other, only to spend the next ten years having very strained relationships with sex. When they meet again in a sex addicts support group, Jake and Bradley decide to use their renewed friendship to help each other heal. Maybe, in more ways than one. (and also rhett abbott is there because i needed a scapegoat thank you <3)

something to whet your appetite:

"He came through every few weeks on one of his bull riding tours or to meet with vendors. He never stayed more than a night before he went back to her, and I was left with this profound emptiness in his absence.

I let myself get wrapped up in his world. I deluded myself with these fantasies that one day he would stay. All I wanted was for him to stay. I just wanted to be enough for him, so I broke myself apart into something I thought he would want. There's no telling how much of me I lost pursuing that pipe dream.

"Must have been a pretty good pipe to string you along like this for the past ten years."

"Oh shut up, Bradshaw."

"No, I'm serious! What, is it ten inches? Is it made of gold? Can it vibrate? What about him and his magical two foot long dick had you so spellbound?"

mickey mouse the matchmaker

this one is soooooo very self-indulgent. it's bob x mickey's cousin (x reader for now but that is subject to change). BASICALLY, mickey and bob have been good friends since their OCS training in Rhode Island all those years ago. While they were stationed in Newport, Mickey and Bob would go and visit Mickey's cousin while she was in school in Providence. Bob and the cousin got along like a house on fire, but were both too scared to do anything about it (even though mickey knows they both want to). Fast forward a few years, and she moves out to San Diego where the daggers are now stationed. AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, READER NEEDS A PLACE TO LIVE AND BOB HAS AN EXTRA ROOM !! Mickey's masterplan is all coming together

(there's no excerpt for this one because the whole fic is just various one-liners strung together with a wish and a prayer)

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR WIPS DARLING !!!

[melody-han-wayne]

(OOC: Update + Apology—Long Post)

So I've been pretty much non-existent for the past 4 months or so BUT I can explain!

Basically what happened is that I emigrated to not just a different country, but a different continent on literally the other side of the world from where I grew up. And I left behind all my friends and family at home, meaning I came here alone and I'm still alone and probably will be alone for as long as I remain in this new country. So for the past few months I've been dealing with moving and settling down and making plans to secure my future in this new country—heck, just making sure I can have a future in this new country. I'm more or less settled into my new life now (except for the planning for the future part) but before that I kind of forgot about Melody for a while 🫥

So anyway the guilt ate away at my subconscious and Melody's voice came to me in a dream and berated me for abandoning her, so I woke up and quickly came to check on my baby. And I realise, to my utter mortification and horror, that I never paused my Tumblr queue, so all the half-baked ideas, the rough drafts, the tentative-but-not-in-chronological-order character development, had been posting itself while I was away 🫠. So if during the past 5 months you saw my blog degenerate into a bigger and bigger mess and wondered "What the heck is going on"—it's not you, it's me. Right now I'm just trying to salvage what I can of my blog (and my dignity) and reorganise everything I originally planned for Melody (tbh I forgot half of it but I'm sure the memories are in here somewhere, I just have to clean out the dust and oil the gears first).

Honestly I have no idea how many people follow(ed) Melody's story, I might as well be posting into the void for all I know. But like so many of the other RPers on this blog I started because I was bored and had some ideas in my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and over time I became attached to my OC and her story (perhaps unhealthily so). That's part of the reason why I decided not to just delete my blog and make my absence permanent. Because working on this self-indulgent project used to make me happy, and because I still have some ideas I want to share with whoever might be lurking around. Another reason is because of the community that welcomed me and that I personally watched grow. Even when this blog was at its 'most active' I probably didn't interact with other RPers as much as I should/could have (again, it's not you, it's me) but what little interaction we did have I truly did enjoy as we built and connected our own stories and characters while also interpreting the DC ones. I don't think I've said this before, and I don't think I'll ever say it enough, but really, thank you all for being willing to indulge me and play with me. This has been a lovely space to be in, and you guys combined are like 80% of the reason ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@florence-wayne-official @kit-the-nonbinary-wayne @that-one-gotham-kid @amira-wayne-al-ghul @warren-wayne-kyle @teagrayson + anyone I missed, knowing the rate at which this community grows there's bound to be at least one person I didn't tag (it's not a snub—again, not you, it's me and my bad memory—please don't be offended 🥺)

((idk if tagging everyone is proper etiquette after my prolonged absence, I was just going to say 'you know who you are' at first and leave it at that but I'm not sure if you guys actually know who you are 😅 so if I'm breaking some kind of unspoken Tumblr code of etiquette I apologise again))

(((I didn't mean for that above note to sound as rude as it did)))

ANYWAYS if you've read past the wall of text above to make it down here congratulations and thank you, I'll be doing my best to clean up/revise my blog and my OC and her story in the coming weeks and hopefully get some sort of continuity back on track :) I'm also trying to figure out what happened in the rest of the RP community in my absence so if I reply to a three-month-old post now: once again, it's not you, it's me, and there's totally no obligation to engage with.

Can't wait to hang out with the Batfamily again ☺️ plus all my RP siblings, half-siblings, future siblings, stepsiblings, undead siblings etc XD

[24worldnewsnet]

issed them so much," says Stephanie Prado, a die-hard BTS fan who has been desperately waiting for the group to reunite after a two-and-a-half-year hiatus.Her love for the boy band inspired her to move from Brazil to South Korea - so it was no surprise that she turned up last Friday for "BTS Festa", a big party held every year near Seoul on the group's anniversary.The time she has spent waiting has moved "both slowly and really quickly", Stephanie says, waving an ARMY bomb, the official lightstick used by BTS fans, who call themselves the ARMY.Behind her is a huge sculpture of the lightstick, a must-have in the K-pop world.This year's event is special because a reunion is finally around the corner. The countdown peaked last week, when four of the seven members, RM, V, Jimin and Jung Kook, completed their military service. And the wait ends on Saturday when the last of them, Suga, is discharged."I hope they rest now," Stephanie says, before adding, "but of course I also want albums, concerts, everything".The 18 months in the military that are mandatory for all South Korean men forced the world's most successful boy band in recent years to hit pause in 2022. Now they are returning, some say, to a K-pop industry that is quite different to the one they knew: faced with stalled album sales, shaken by scandals and increasingly scrutinised over the excessive pressure it puts on stars.The absence of a leading band, industry watchers say, was deeply felt."Without BTS, a core pillar was missing," says Kim Young-dae, music critic and author of BTS: The Review. "There have been concerns recently that K-pop is losing momentum. True or not, BTS could change that perception."The ARMY awaitsThere are no plans yet for all seven members to appear together, but that didn't stop the ARMY from gathering early on a humid morning in Goyang.The long, restless queue stretched to the subway station an hour before the gates for the BTS Festa opened. The snippets of English, Chinese, Japanese and Spanish alongside Korean threw off a local walking past who asked, "Why are there so many foreigners here?"Stephanie Prado (L) and a friend, each with an ARMY bombInside were more queues - some people were hopping with excitement and others were sobbing after entering the "voice zone", a phone booth where you could listen to BTS members' messages. About half of the fans the BBC spoke to teared up talking about how much they missed BTS."It felt like the 18 months lasted forever," said Vuyo Matiwane, a South African who had been visiting BTS-themed venues in Seoul, like their favourite restaurant. "I was crying at every location - it was so emotional."And then she watched the livestream of them being discharged, which was "overwhelming".Being surrounded by all things BTS made a trip halfway across the world worth it, says Fara Ala, who travelled from the Netherlands: "Breathing the same air, drinking the same water, eating the same food as BTS - that's enough for ARMY. If you ask other ARMY, they'd say the same."BTS is arguably the biggest boy band in recent years... but can they recreate their success after a break?South Korean military service is a major test for male celebrities, many of whom have to enlist at the peak of their success. In the past, it has proved fatal for some careers.BTS is believed to have staggered it so that all seven members were missing from action for no more than six months. J-Hope, who was discharged last October, has since wrapped up a solo world tour. But the so-called curse can be hard to break. For one, the loyalty of fans could wane as new groups debut almost every week, competing for their attention. Returning idols also face a tough transition because a military stint and a touch of maturity could dampen the essence of K-pop appeal: youthful energy.But if anyone can break the curse, it's BTS, Mr Kim says.Each of them announced solo projects in the past two and half years, he explains, without hurting their popularity as a group: "It feels like their military hiatus passed by natur

[chipen]

NOT  FOR  THE  FIRST  TIME,  TOGE  HAS  to  wonder  if  his  boyish  adoration  for  the  young  man  sharing  his  quarters  isn't  a  bit  of  a  blinder  in  regards  to  the  going  on  of  the  jujutsu  world.  it  is  easy  to  numb  himself  to  the  chess  games  the  clans,  the  elders,  gojo-sensei,  and  all  the  others  play  when  he  allows  his  mind  to  zero  in  on  okkotsu  yuta,  and  for  some  reason  the  knowledge  makes  him  feel...  a  little  sick.  the  cursed  speech  user  isn't  quite  sure  how  to  familiarize  himself  with  the  well  of  emotions  that  has  been  looming  within  him  since  yuta  walked  into  their  classroom,  oozing  so  much  cursed  energy  that  he'd  frankly  been  ill.  he  isn't  sure  how  to  understand  what  it  means  for  the  motivations  that  had  kept  him  adrift  in  a  world  that  didn't  really  want  him  or  know  what  to  do  with  him.  perhaps,  right  now,  it's  not  worth  understanding.

so  for  yuta,  he  smiles,  and  asks  no  questions.

as  the  sorcerer  retreats  back  to  the  bed,  he  passes  by  his  taller  friend's  moving  frame  aiming  for  the  showers.  toge  is  no  monk  -  he  does  not  deny  himself  the  privilege  of  letting  his  pinky  finger  brush  against  the  special  grade's  own,  before  turning  on  his  heel  to  flop  back  onto  his  mattress  with  a  bounce.  one  hand  signs  then:  ❛ so  bossy! ❜  but  toge  says  no  more  on  the  matter  -  choosing  not  to  acknowledge  the  gratitude,  because  he  is  afraid  that  if  he  does  -  he  will  find  himself  confronting  the  fact  that  he  physically  cannot  do  more.  effectively  dismissing  the  other  to  the  shower,  toge  pilfers  yuta's  phone  from  the  chair  and  lays  back  upon  the  bed,  guessing  his  passcode  in  no  less  than  a  singular  attempt.  unlike  a  year  prior  -  rika's  cursed  energy  was  a  comforting  presence,  something  like  a  blanket  that  he  had  found  himself  missing  on  these  cold  nights.  but  toge  keeps  himself  busy  in  yuta's  absence  -  first  taking  his  time  to  make  the  special  grade's  phone  background  an  emoji-ified  picture  of  inumaki  himself  holding  up  a  peace  sign  with  his  sigiled  tongue  sticking  out.  salmon!  is  written  in  one  corner  -  alongside  rika  loves  you!  in  the  other.  toge  can  only  assume  the  ebb  and  flow  of  energy  in  the  room  is  a  sign  of  approval.  he  hums  his  agreement.

despite  his  worry  -  toge  does  not  pry,  does  not  peruse  yuta's  messages  or  history  or  call  logs.  he  only  opens  up  the  video  app,  and  queues  as  many  cute  dog  videos  as  he  can  find  before  propping  the  device  on  the  adjacent  pillow  and  rolling  on  his  side  to  watch  alongside  his  definitely-more-than-a-friend-but-not's  childhood  curse.  ❝ shake? ❞   he  says  to  rika,  and  when  there  is  no  sign  otherwise  -  toge  continues  to  watch  with  her,  allowing  the  lull  of  his  eyes  to  grow  just  a  bit  heavy  with  sleep.

okkotsu finds himself lucky to have such a friendship in inumaki that he could trust him with these things . admittedly , yuta wishes he could inform the boy of far more in the moment than he's already told him just to ease his own consciousness , but he finds that his tongue stills at the idea of informing him further . he couldn't get an already wounded sorcerer involved in something more dangerous than usual , especially when talking about it was directly turning his back on the orders of the elders . that , at least , had become more of a frequent activity and led to less fear when disobeying them , but he still had his concerns . as long as they were alive , he needed to act subservient to them .

and there's a shake of his head when he finally figures out where a good portion of his wardrobe has wandered off to ! a little laugh behind his hand to convince him of who had come back from africa , some mirth still quite visible in those deadened eyes of okkotsu's , rimmed in dark colors to reaffirm his exhaustion without ever speaking about it himself . either way , yuta manages a smile at the small exchange , dropping his sword into the chair and his phone on the bedside table so inumaki could keep a close watch over it in the meantime . ❝ even if it does ring , don't answer it . just tell me who it rung from . you've exhausted yourself enough this evening , i already know you kept civilian casualties at a low point . if no one's thanked you for that , i will . i know it does a number on you to help . please don't do any unnecessary talking . ❞  he states with an edge of softness , of care he wishes to provide to his friends like he always has ; even as he's on his way to the nearest shower , he gives his curse a stare ; ❝ i'm also going to leave rika on guard while i go get a shower handled . i won't be long . ❞

[strawberryys-stuff]

Neteyam x avatar!reader

part 2 :))

genre: fluff

part 1 part 3

a/n: i have no clue what to add to part 1, but here you go!

When Lo'ak suggested that you should try and experience the adrenaline of riding an Ikran, the vibrant blue color got drained from your face. You admired the creature, no doubt in that, but the thought of being among the clouds frightened you, especially if it meant having Lo'ak as the escort.

"No," you push yourself through the doorway of your bedroom, passing the youngest son of Toruk Makto with a full box of Norm's paperwork in your arms. "I am not stepping out of this laboratory to fly a banshee, especially if it means you get to skip your sparring match with Neteyam."

"Come on," Lo'ak rolls his eyes and skips after you, dodging the 'happy birthday' sign that Max insisted Norm hangs above your bedroom door the day prior with a quick bend. You place the box down on Norm's precisely clean desk with a huff, your best friend stealing a peek over your shoulder at the statistics with a frown. "It'll be fun! Definitely much more of a fun than this.." he points to the papers, "mess."

You pinch the bridge of your nose and turn to face the blue-skinned boy with a sigh. "Lo'ak-"

"Don't be a wuss," you send a scowl his way. He brings his hands up in surrender, the corners of his mouth curving into a weak smirk. Lo'ak knows how to hit the nerve of yours. "Flying an Ikran is our tradition. If you wanna fit in, you need to do it." you walk away from him with an annoyed groan. "Besides, i'm gonna be there with you!" Lo'ak calls after you, chuckling when he receives a whine in return from the hallway.

---

"I hate you," you breathe out, knees weakening and heartbeat speeding up. You are currently sitting cross-legged on the upper chamber of the Hometree, hands tied behind your back.

When you noticed a note on your door in the morning from Norm that reminded you of his and Max's quick trip to collect more examples from Pandora's flora, you used their absence to sneak out in your avatar and wander around the forest, unaware of the pair of yellow eyes watching your every move.

"I wanna pluck your eyes out right now," you state with a threatening tone when Lo'ak approaches you with his Ikran. You pull your knees to your chest as they stop in front of your shivering figure, clearly amused by your reaction. "I thought you said you and Neteyam have a sparring match in the morning."

Lo'ak pats the side of his banshee before he kneels beside you, excitement present in his gaze. "We do," he nods as his hands travel to your tied ones. He frees them but immediately traps them in his, knowing you will try to escape any minute if he doesn't. "I'm just not going to show up."

"That's awful," you voice your opinion about the situation and let the Na'vi push you forward. Your chest tightens when the two of you reach the Ikran, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "Lo'ak, please.."

Your best friend places one of his hands on your shoulder while the other finds its way on his banshee and begins to caress her skin affectionately. "Do you trust me?" he locks his eyes on the back of your head and notices the hairstyle change, which probably is from Kiri and Tuk.

"I do," you swallow hard when his Ikran slightly rubs her head against the back of your shaking hand, not noticing Lo'ak connecting his queue to hers. "I do trust you."

"Good," he grasps your waist and lifts you up with ease, putting you on the creature. Unintentionally, you swing one of your legs over to the other side of his colorful Ikran, heartbeat increasing when she releases a screech. Lo'ak positions himself in front of you and finds a steady grip on the banshee while you wrap your arms around his waist. "Ready?"

"No-" with a whistle, the Ikran runs to the edge of the upper chamber and you bury your scrunched face in Lo'ak's shoulder. "I hate you!"

The beginning of the unpleasant flight is mostly filled with gliding and slow pace, but after Lo'ak notices the lack of your screams and swears, he starts to mess around with the speed and adds some tricks to spice it up.

"It isn't that bad, is it?" he glances over his shoulder at you, chuckling. You slap his shoulder-blade in disagreement. When your hand meets his vibrant blue skin, Lo'ak takes a sharp turn to dodge a floating island he didn't notice before he dedicated his attention to you. The sudden change accompanies the pressure of the wind around you, pushing your side. Your fingertips brush Lo'ak's bicep as you fall off his Ikran, eyes widening. "Shit!"

A panicked shout of your best friend's name scratches the inside of your throat and strikes Lo'ak with guilt and fear. His Ikran senses the enormous amount of panic and dives after you.

Your falling avatar is caught by a strong pair of arms, saved from a harsh fall and possible death. You catch your breath as Lo'ak stops next to your savior, relief present in his gaze.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Neteyam pulls your shaking figure to his chest and glares at his irresponsible brother. Your arm sneaks behind his shoulders while his lecture continues to pass through your ringing ears.

"I didn't expect them to fall!" Lo'ak tries to defend himself, unable to absorb the situation. Neteyam scoffs and adjusts your position in his embrace, encouraging you to spread your legs and make yourself comfortable - promising he has a secure grip on you and that you're allowed to move. "Y/n, I'm sorry."

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not," Neteyam cuts you off and points to his younger brother, ears pulled back. He clicks his tongue, "You're so fucking lucky they aren't injured. If they were, you would be headless."

Lo'ak lowers his head in shame as you lean backwards, your savior's breath hitching when your back is fully pressed against his chest. To say you are intimidated is an understatement. Neteyam doesn't curse often, hell, he doesn't curse at all because he wants to live up to his father's expectations, but when your health and safety is involved, he isn't afraid to break the rules.

"Go home," The Olo'etykan-in-training commands, fighting the urge to beat some sense into his brother. "And help Kiri with the preparations for the ceremony." Lo'ak opens his mouth to protest, but with one quick raise of Neteyam's eyebrows he doesn't waste a second and swallows his words.

"Again," The younger son makes eye contact with you and scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." you send him a nod of forgiveness and assure him that you are going to be okay with a soft smile. With a stern look piercing through his skull, Lo'ak disappears in the clouds above you.

Neteyam places his forehead on the nape of your neck and sighs with relief. "You okay?" he hums, his lips brushing against your skin which sends goosebumps down your spine. Your hand travels to his knee and leaves gentle rubs on top of it as he shifts in his spot behind you.

"You scared the hell out of me," he confesses and pats the side of his Ikran, tightening his grip around your waist. You chuckle under your breath, pressing your back to his chest when the banshee begins to move forward. "Thank you, Eywa, for the sickening feeling I got when Lo'ak didn't show up to the sparring match."

"Thank you, Eywa, for sending this brave warrior to save me."

Neteyam slaps your thigh gently and presses a sweet kiss on the back of your head, chuckling. "Shut it."

[neiptune]

all over me

(gojo x female reader)

wc: 2k

warnings: angst, you won't find any comfort here my friends

There's only one place Satoru usually stops by in Shibuya and although he's prayed he would so many times, he certainly doesn't expect to find you in it

Sweat runs down Satoru’s back as he takes one hand out of his pocket to push up dark sunglasses, annoyance taking shape in the creases between his furrowed brows. He should’ve went for the cashmere jumper instead of the wool sweater but then again, he can’t quite remember the last time he had made a good decision. Not that he would ever allow anyone to know.

People are buzzing around Shibuya as usual and he has to offer more than one gentle smile to strangers profusely apologizing for bumping into him on their way to god knows what, god knows where. As he finally makes it out of Takeshita street the mob decreases in density at last, giving him the chance to take a deep breath: sometimes the drainage smell can rise to the surface and make the simple experience of taking a walk excruciating, but today Shibuya smells just right. Smoke coming from yakitori restaurants mixes interestengly well with the strong smell of fermented soybeans scattered in colorful stands and the sweet, fruity scent coming from the magnolia trees blossoming among shops and sidewalks.

Satoru comes to a halt right in front of it, old habits die hard after all. As usual, the Aoyama flower market teahouse comes with a consistent queue outside its pretty building. It’s a Tuesday afternoon and under normal circumstances he’d have to wait around 50 minutes to get inside but he’s, well, him, and he’s known for two things: dashing charm and generous tips. Sunglasses are graciously pushed over his forehead, lazy half-smile a blinding crescent moon as the lady in charge of the queue, name list in her hand, bows and motions him towards the entrance right away. There was a time when you would’ve rolled your eyes, with a sarcastic huff and a barely muttered you are shameless. When he was with you, Satoru had only been allowed to work his magic once: every other time, you had always forced him to respect the queue. Sure enough, each time, he complied. And that was the magic you worked.

He’s not bothered by the smell anymore, way too sweet for his taste. But every blossom, branch and flower still has your laugh embedded in it, so it’s alright, really. He wonders if this is still your favorite place to hide away in, where you’d catch up with your friends on rainy days, sit all alone with a book whenever you needed a break from reality, snap selfies of you two nestled between hues of an impossible amount of pretty flowers. Red, pink, green, orange, white, their scent lingering on you for him to savor it for hours on end, the way you’d jokingly push him away when he’d try to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck for the millionth time. Satoru gets a kick out of the way ill stitched wounds tear apart and resume their bleeding whenever he steps foot in this place, pain crashing over him in waves, the emptiness of his chest taking the shape of your absence all over again through a carving so painful not even the strongest sorcerer feels powerful enough to bear. But it’s only right. He doesn’t deserve smooth edges and being the strongest unfortunately means he survives the process every single time.

“Toru?” a timid whisper, one he’d recognize everywhere regardless of having been left without that voice for over two years now.

And sure enough you’re there, actually there, sitting at your own glass table with plants sprouting from underneath it, a giant plate of your usual order in front of you, mocking him, because apparently nothing has changed besides your absence in his life. He’s hated french toast ever since.

Satoru approaches your table, patiently ignoring the way his stomach has flipped at the familiarity of your voice paired with the nickname.

“Hey” he hasn’t seen you in so long, and this is all he can come up with. But it must mean something, finding you here at last after endless wanderings and cups of tea he doesn’t even like and flower parfaits and rose jellies. It must mean something, the fact that you invite him to sit, smile every bit as warm as he remembered.

“How have you been?” you ask right after he places his order, a hot mojito even in the middle of the afternoon, because he can’t hold his liquor and definitely can’t do this while sober.

“Good, busy. You know how it is” he grins with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

“I know how it is” your lips curl in a soft smile as you drag a forkful of french toast through syrup.

“You look great, by the way. Shorter hair suits you”

The way you shift nervously in your seat as you let out a uh, thanks signals your discomfort so he leans back ever so slightly, gives you space, hopes to be smart enough to reassess a lead he doesn’t actually have. With each sputter, his heart seems to be articulating all the words he’s been aching to say out loud for the past two years. I miss you. Come back. I’ll do better. Please. Please. Please.

And you know him well enough to sense that, whatever it is, it’s coming. So you brace yourself the best you can, with a deep breath and tense muscles, ankles crossed underneath the table pressing painfully to each other, toes curled in your sneakers.

“Let’s get dinner tonight” his slender fingers are closed tightly around the glass, in sharp contrast with the casualness of his pitch. The deep sigh you let out is a flag red enough but, frankly, he refuses to go down without a fight. What should he fear at this point? Humiliation? He’s been without you long enough to figure there’s nothing worse. He’ll handle humiliation.

“Satoru” the name rolls off your tongue as a warning but you can’t ignore the way your heart squeezes a little at the sound of it. You haven’t said that name out loud in forever and it still tastes every bit as sweet and dangerous as it did back then.

“What?” he challenges, impatient “it’s just dinner”

“I have to be home for dinner”

“Why?”

He’s not a dumb man, he knows what you’re about to say. Regardless, he needs to hear it before the glass shatters in his very hand.

“Don’t do this” you let out a shaky breath as you put your fork down, suddenly unable to stomach a single other bite.

“There’s someone” Satoru does his best not to make it sound like an accusation because it really isn’t. It couldn’t be, he wouldn’t dare.

Your gaze meets his and it’s hard to remind yourself that you’re a different person now that you’ve been away from his magnetic field long enough. Leaving came with the terrifying, inevitable need to learn how to be, who to be, on your own. You had been with him for so long it had been excruciating to find out, during those first months, you couldn’t remember how to be whole without the stupid amount of his cologne stinking up the small bathroom of your studio apartment, his chin resting on your shoulder, his fingers gently massaging shampoo in your scalp, his good mornings. His his his. Everything was a reminder of how much you had given and the unbearable, sweet time each piece was taking to travel back to you and try to fit in its original spot.

But they did, in the end. Most of them, anyway. Little by little, each part crawled back and you had to patiently pick them up and find a place to gently push them in. They didn’t fit with each other as well as they did in the beginning, he had made a miserable, imperfect puzzle out of you: one with pieces fitting with the wrong ones well enough not to make the subtle cracks noticeable to everyone else. You’d been left with a version of yourself you had to get to know from the start and the process had been so painful, so exhausting, you’d sworn you’d never risk any of that ever again.

Still, it doesn’t mean you don’t miss it. What you had was a kind of love that, to this day, you deem unrepeatable. Being with Satoru felt like knowing exactly where you were meant to be in the world: it was powerful and overwhelming, all consuming, a feeling strong enough to match the strongest there was. The beauty of it was that it was a balanced exchange coming from both sides, constantly created between you two in equal measure.

You’ve made peace with the thought that it won’t be possible to feel that way with someone that isn’t him, no even now that you’re in love and fairly happy, not even now that you’re free. Satoru is still there, all over you. But as much as you’re certain he’d still move heaven and hell and every other world or dimension available to make you happy, to keep you safe, it’s too late. It will always be too late.

“Yes” your reply is as dry as your throat.

Satoru remains silent, eyes focused on the glass of ice water in front of you, condensation dripping down onto the tabletop and forming a small puddle underneath it. The place is so fancy and yet cold drinks don’t come with coasters, it’s ridiculous.

“Does it compare?” the question comes out light, void of anger or bitterness. He wonders if you’ll still be fooled, even after so much time apart. Because no matter the way his whole being ached and burned and radiated with the disarming love he had for you, there was always a small, almost imperceptible part of Gojo Satoru he had always kept to himself. The same one that ruined everything, in the end.

“It doesn’t” you speak truthfully “but I’m happy”

He hums, pensive.

“I sure wonder what that feels like”

You shut your eyes for a second. It didn’t end with smoke and gunpowder, explosive fights, cheating or lying: you were too in love with each other to let any of that get in the way. It ended simply because he never thought it could end.

“It feels right” you push the knife a little deeper, not enough to tear him apart entirely but surely enough to make him feel it. And oh, does he feel it.

“Right”, Satoru repeats the word mockingly “I guess that means he’s the one. Better marry him fast”

The derision in his tone is just too much for you to bear. He’s still so good at pushing all your buttons until you snap, until you’re angry enough to forget the childish desire to safeguard his feelings. Why would he deserve such grace after everything he’d put you through?

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, Satoru. He’s already asked and I already said yes”

For a moment, he thinks there must be a curse concealed somewhere around the crowded teashop, somewhere between leaves and branches and colorful flowers. Because why else would everything be still alive, breathing, moving? How are people chatting mindlessly around him, how is the sudden, light rain still falling outside? Why isn’t everything motionless or at least slowly crumbling in on itself?

The strongest always needs a fragment to hold onto, something only his that can be worn like armor. Memories nag mercilessly at the back of his mind: the day he’d met you, a few seconds of playful banter enough to make him grin and drop a nonchalant well, this is going way too smoothly to not let it be a date. How he’d always make sure to get up at dawn whenever you spent the night wrapped in silk sheets, rushing to make breakfast and brew coffee because he simply couldn’t risk you collecting your clothes and vanishing from his apartment while he was asleep. The way you’d convinced him to try out a skincare routine, giggling as you carefully massaged clay masks and serums and your favorite moisturizer into his skin. All the times you’d waited for him to come home, movies watched on his couch, late night hushed conversations about the future, how you’d rolled your eyes with a coy smile at his m’gonna marry you.

He meant every word, could’ve sworn he would’ve stopped breathing if left without your lips on his for too long. He meant it, Satoru just thought he had all the time in the world. Because you were his and he was yours, what on earth could’ve changed that?

So he’d stopped notifying you when missions would take too long, leaving you waiting for his return for days, sometimes weeks, not a call nor a reply to your texts. He became increasingly annoyed at the idea of having to hang out with your friends, because he was tired and just didn’t feel like leaving the house and maybe you should’ve stayed too: you hadn’t spent some time alone in a while after all. He’d started throwing around words and phrases you both hated: overreacting, attention-seeking, blowing this out of proportion, don’t ya think you’re being too sensitive?

He forgot birthdays, anniversaries, claimed he couldn’t refuse to go on that mission right on Christmas day, your gift left to collect dust, unopened on his bed. And when you started drifting away, he didn’t notice. Not until your suitcase was packed and your warmth was taken away from his suddenly too large, dull, dark apartment.

So right now he needs it, that fragment. Hadn’t you called him heartless, once? It’s best you keep believing that. You may even be right: there’s not enough left of his heart anyway. He sure hopes you’ll be treated right this time, he wants to wish for your happiness and he does. But the desire for whatever joy expects you to never surpass the one you felt when you were with him is stronger. He will always hold onto that selfishness because it will be all he’s left with while you’re out in the world without him, forever.

“You never even replied when I asked” his smile is bitter, incredulous.

“You never meant it”

Fragment or not, that’s a lie he wouldn’t dare speak out loud. He could never agree with what you just said because, in his life, Satoru never meant anything as much as he did when he rambled endlessly about making you his wife, perfect wedding venue, guest list and witnesses already on his mind. Ring sitting in his secret drawer, still there, to this day.

He gets up and your gaze softens as you watch him put his sunglasses on again, some cash tucked under his empty glass. Of course you still care for him, you always will. And it’s not like it doesn’t hurt, the way this encounter went.

“I hope you find it, too” you mutter with a strange taste in your mouth, one not even all the tea in the world could wash away.

“I will” he flashes you a smile “try to stick around with this one, hm?” doesn’t even give you the time to let the petty words sink in as he gives the two-finger salute and turns around to exit the shop. Eye for an eye.

Whilst wandering through a wet and still overwhelmingly bustling Shibuya, Gojo Satoru chuckles to himself until a broken, boisterous laugh crawls all the way up from his throat. Pedestrians turn their heads in his direction but that only makes him laugh harder. Because how could they get the irony? He’s only had two people in his life that he’s called best friends at some point, only two people he’s loved with every fiber of his being, and he has lost both.

That’s probably the one curse he’ll never be able to exorcise.

[nspwriteups]

Kannalane Chapter 2: Conversations and Confessions

Aditha. Why did that name sound so familiar? And that person.She was sure she had never seen him in Thanjai before, never heard a voice similar to his, never seen someone who even remotely resembles him but still ... .His presence was so comforting and familiar. Who was this Aditha? How was he able to have such an influence on her after meeting for only a handful of times? Nandini was suddenly gripped by a desire to know more about him. So she made a decision as she laid down to sleep that night. She will go back to the old Banyan tree one last time tomorrow. Just to see that person again.one more time. Maybe even have a friendly conversation as Vishaka told her to do. And then they would separate as acquaintances.She would find a new abode of peace and he can take rest under her Banyan tree with his sword and  daggers as much as he wants without her interference. 

 The next evening Nandini seated herself under the same old place as usual, savouring a mango she got from Vishaka, after putting some mangoes aside for her family and one more for her fellow visitor. He must be from a wealthy family, he may even get baskets of mangoes if he just wished. Her mind chided her. Still, she kept one aside for him so that they could start their pleasantries on a good act of benevolence. But time flew by and her visitor failed to come. She saw the sun disappearing and decided to return to the temple, her heart heavy with disappointment at the absence of her mysterious youth. Well, not so mysterious but a name and a suspicion about his status was all she knew about him.Why was she so crestfallen ? It wasn't like they agreed to a meet and greet. Surely he must have other important duties to attend to, just like she has. With these thoughts, she made her way to the temple. She was again assigned the role of distributing prasad to the devotees. 

Sometimes fate works in strange ways. That was what Nandini thought when she saw Aditha enter the temple. He was alone and seemed to be searching for someone. The moment his eyes locked on hers, he gave her a grin and made his way over standing at the end of the line.She returned to focus on her task at hand but couldn't help sneak a glance at him at times. He was standing straight, with hands at his back, moving ever so slightly as the queue started moving, looking around at the crowd with a carefree look. Suddenly she wished the queue would move faster so he could reach her quicker. Did he come to see her?  Maybe apologise for not coming today? She wished to talk to someone about it. Where was Vishaka when you needed her?

After what seemed to be a long time, he stood in front of her. "Hello Chempaka" he said in a teasing tone.

"I'm not wearing any Chempaka flowers today" she said 

"Do you want me to get you some?" He replied quickly, with his usual smirk.

She narrowed her eyes at him. How brashen he is. " You didn't come today" She said, meaning to say it as a question but it came out sounding like a statement. He looked at her for a minute in genuine confusion before a look of realisation came over his face. 

"I'm sorry Devi. I didn't know you were waiting for me" he said, looking for confirmation in her face.  She knew even if she denied it, he would catch her lie from her face. " I was ..just…wondering" she nevertheless made a somewhat convincing excuse, as she handed over the prasad to him. He received it and said " I will come tomorrow. I promise" .Then turning to pray to the deity, he walked away, not before giving her a reassuring smile. She returned the smile.

He came as promised. And what occurred was deafening silence. Nandini quickly realised she wasn't like Vishaka at all. Vishaka could make friends with anyone within minutes while Nandini took longer time to create friendship. She was even comfortable sitting in silence instead of filling the quietness with words like Vishaka. It seemed Aditha was also of the same attitude. At first they used to bask in their silence, occasionally remarking on the weather or talking about the latest events. Slowly but surely as the days passed, Nandini found herself going back on her decision and arriving at her personal abode of peace now sharing it with her newfound friend, Aditha. And as the bond of trust between them started to strengthen, they exchanged their life stories. 

" I'm an orphan" Aditha said "My mother died in childbirth and my father was a soldier who was killed in war when I was seven. He was a close friend of the Sambuvarayar Shivarama. After my father died, he adopted me as his son as he and his wife were childless. I had been at Nagaipattanam for the past few months to learn sword fighting and horse riding . I wish to be a soldier like my biological father and to serve the Chozha Naadu" 

"Have you never wished for a sibling?" Nandini asked

"I like to think I had a handful of siblings last life and that's why I don't have any in this life" Aditha shrugged

"Well, I have two headaches in the form of human beings as my sister and brother. You are lucky " 

He laughed " I know you appreciate and love them despite their mischiefs, Chempaka. You seem like a very considerate person " 

"Nandini " 

"What?"

"You don't have to call me Chempaka anymore. You can call me Nandini, "she said softly.

"Nandini" He said it aloud as if testing to see how it sounded. " That's a beautiful name" 

Nandini was aware of a change in her feelings towards her friend. She started waiting for his arrival and reminiscing about their conversations afterwards. Even Kaveri caught on to her changed demeanor. "Akka, why are you smiling at the food? Are you thinking of someone? Am I going to have a brother in law soon?" She would tease, only to have Nandini box her ears for her cheekiness. But try as she may, she wasn't able to settle the butterflies in her stomach whenever he said her name. 

"Nandini, tell me, is there any backstory to your name?" Aditha asked once

" My father told me he thought of the name when he saw me for the first time" Nandini said

"He chose well. You really are a bringer of joy" He said with his signature smirk and Nandini tried not to let him see her blush. 

"What about you?" 

He let out a deep sigh " I remember my father telling me I was named after the late uncle of the current ruler, Aditha Karikalan. I have heard stories of how fierce a warrior he was and one day, I hope I can be a warrior just like him" then he turned towards her " I also remember there was a Nandini at that time. The Pazhavur Iliya Rani . People say she was the most beautiful woman to have walked the land. No one knows how she died though. Some say she passed away due to an illness, some say she was killed, others say she drowned herself" 

What has gotten into his mind? Nandini wondered. Comparing her to that of the enchanting Pazhavur Iliya Rani just because they share the same name. She looked back  to see he was gazing at her playfully. 

"What?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him

"You know, before she became Pazhavur Rani, Nandini Devi and Aditha Karikalan were rumoured to be lovers" Aditha continued, watching her expression.

"So?" 

"So.." He took a minute to grin at her before saying " Would this Nandini like to be the lover of this Aditha?" 

Her eyes widened as she processed what he just said. This time though she wasn't able to hide her blushing cheeks from him. Not giving an answer and thoroughly taken aback by his upfront manner, she did what she did best. Standing up and briskly walking off. 

"Nandini come back" She heard him laugh behind her "I was just teasing you, Chempaka"

To be continued…

@ramcharanobsessed @dumdaradumdaradum @vibishalakshman @thatacademic @hollogramhallucination @kovaipaavai @rang-lo . @willkatfanfromasia @thelekhikawrites @thegleamingmoon @deafeningflowercat @yehsahihai @whippersnappersbookworm @itsfookingloosah @gemsmusings @chiyaanvikram @elvenladysakura . @matka-kulfi . @madatdisney @bumblebeeskywalker @vahnithedreamer @nkarti @dosai-maavu @utterlynotperfect @winter-birds @happy-bookworm @tumbledout @anabanana4115 @freeunknownwasteland @bhataktiatmacore @rapunzels-stuff @celestesinsight @mairablue @rationalelderberry @existenceiswhateven @arachneofthoughts @spider5884fan11 @nirmohi-premika

[artsninspo]

Sis pls write for jamie from top boy I was thinking he’s jealous and got a bit possessive over the reader/yn because all of the guys from the road are hitting on her and he’s just had enough. And she reassures him she loves him and only him. But they’re from different “worlds” he’s a roadman and she’s preppy a school girl. Obviously you can add anything you want, maybe funny moments with Stef and I hope this is not the last one you write about him :)💕 not much Jamie writings out there 🥲

「 ✦ jamie topboy archive ✦ 」

➨ main library

So, it's been forever since i've written and posted. Thank you for this prompt. Hope you like it, although i'm a little rusty.

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

________

“Ayo? Love, come have a chat with me?” You turn to see a man with a smile coming your way. It's been happening all day.

“I’m good thanks” you smile, opting to be polite but it's exhausting.

“Why not you’re alone, you could use good company love” he reasons.

“I have a boyfriend” you tell the stranger honestly but he chuckles.

“So what? Your man doesn't let you have friends?” he asks, stepping closer.

“Nah” you hear and relax as you feel Jamie behind you. “He doesn’t” he adds, placing your slushie into your hand with an arm across your chest, a clear gesture of possession. The Man swallows, stepping back. You withhold your smile nearly a hundred percent sure he’s giving the man his terrifying glare.

“My bad” the man says, walking away and you look up to see the look you've grown to know well.

“Jamie” You smile, chuckling a little.

“Nah, hes a fucking fool if he thinks youd want a sloppy man like that” Jamie smiles pecking your lips. “I told you that dress would only give me a headache” he says, taking a sip of his slushy.

“I just wanted to look nice for you” you pout but he shakes his head taking your hand and leading you to the ferris wheel at the fair.

“You can look nice for me in your flat” he says and as you both catch another man with a girlfriend looking at your ass,

“Fucking hell bruv” Jamie mutters beyond irritated and you laugh.

“You’re enjoying this init?” he asks leaning on the railing

“I am amused, that you could honestly entertain the thought of me being interested in anyone else when you're right here” you smile looking up at him.

“What about when I’m not?” he asks.

“Jamie don't you know the saying about absence?”

“So you're fond of me, yeah?” he asks and you hit him in the chest playfully before moving along in the queue.

“Ouch” he puts a hand to his chest feigning hurt. “Stef’s been asking for you you know, asking when you're coming over again”

“Did you tell him you forbade me from entering your borough because you don't like me getting attention from your peers?” you ask.

A smirk appears on Jamies face, “Selective hearing, I tell you a lot of things you don't listen to or remember”

“You carried on quite loud about that one” you tease and he hugs you from behind kissing your temple.

Never in a million years did you think you’d end up with a guy like Jamie. Never in a million years did you think Jamie would be anything like what he is. Usually the confident young men with name brands and nice cars are assholes who reckon their God’s gift to women. Not Jamie he was charming, considerate and respectful. He kept to his word picking you up from college and taking you to eat in the west end on the second day of knowing you. He didn’t try to rush into your pants and it was refreshing. After some netflix and chill one night you woke up to him smoking on your balcony. You dressed to sit out with him. He’d confessed his situation, the death of his parents and his guardianship over his brothers. He shared a more vulnerable side on that dawn.

He zones out on the ferris wheel as you record the journey to the top. He smiles while posing for pictures . you get in the frame and take a few of you two making faces, kissing, normal. You put the phone away to enjoy the moment and find Jamie watching you. It makes you self conscious until he leans in and you share a kiss until you feel the ride slowing and stop before its time to step off. He takes your hand allowing PDA which is rare for him and you feel eyes on you. You turn in the direction to see Callum, a colleague of yours he's one of the partners at the firm you're interning with.

“Hey” you wave, stopping. Callum acknowledges Jamie with a nod out of respect first before turning to you.

“Nice to see you,” he smiles.

“This is my boyfriend Jamie. Jamie Callum and I work together” you smile making an introduction and Callum looks surprised.

“Lucky lad, she’s incredible but I’m sure you know that” Callum says being kind.

“She is,” Jamie responds.

“Well enjoy your evening see you Thursday” Callum says bidding you both a farewell.

“He looked like he didn’t know you were in a relationship” Jamie quizzes.

“He probably didn’t. We only have polite conversation, you know small talk” you explain and Jamie nods before he turns his attention back to surveying your surroundings as you make your way through the fair. His phone rings and he checks it apologetically. You tune out the conversation walking a little ahead of him as you make your way to the exit. He stays close but spends the entire walk to the car in conversation. He unlocks the car doors, getting the door for you while he stands outside the car finishing up the conversation by giving some kind of instructions. If he’d been granted the opportunity to take a different path the world would be his. If he wasn’t so selfless, the world would be his. He finishes up coming into the car distracted. It's the same every time his phone rings.

“You have to go?” I ask and he sighs.

“I have to go round mine, can’t drop you to yours first.”

“It’s okay.”

“No its not that dress is going to cause me more fucking grief” he groans. He hadn't been so against the figure hugging blue tank dress this morning.

“It’ll be dark by the time we arrive”

“Not dark enough” he mutters, making you laugh. “I swear you did this to give me grief ‘cause you think it's funny?” he smirks softening as you laugh thoroughly entertained.

“I didnt. I swear it. I had no idea it’d be such a problem”

“Well now you see the reaction” he mutters continuing with the disposition of a grumpy old man.

“Jamie, do you want me to change the way I dress? You ask and he laughs.

“Come on now, I could never get you to do that. Besides it’s not you its the dickheads looking at you like they're having filthy thoughts only I’m allowed to have.” he snaps.

“So you replace the lust with scaring them shitless”

“Exactly” he nods.

You stop off to get some chinese takeaway on the way for Stef and Aaron on the way to Jamies. As he turns into his row of flats there is movement and people. You spy kit and a few of the other familiar faces you’ve seen him with out and about. You sit tight like usual until he looks at you with a question in his expression.

“What?”

“Come on”

“Jamie” you whisper because he’s always been so adamant about keeping you away from this part of the city and this part of his life.

“It’s safe I promise, you'll be with my brothers. People here are only friends, besides no one knows who you are, “ he explains.

“I don't have anything to sleep in. Jamie, where will I sleep?” You ask.

“In my bed of course”

“Then you're on the couch”

“In my own house where I pay the rent?”

“Jamie you can't keep your hands to yourself and I’m not good at being silent. It's very inappropriate.” You reckon and he nods knowing it's the truth.

“Just put this on and come” he says reaching in the back for a hoodie.

You put it on and it covers all the goods to his satisfaction. You watch him as his chin rises slightly, his jaw tightens, his expression becomes more absent and detached. There's a silent confidence that's almost defiant. The transformation is complete in seconds but each subtly is significant and adds to this persona. He gets out and gone is the gent that gets your door or takes your hand in his. His people greet him and he shouts he’ll be back maintaining my distance as he leads me into the building. The walk takes some time before I see the gold sevens etched into the door. He gets his keys and twists the handle.

“Jamie?” I hear and it's Stef.

“Hey Stef”

“Y/N” he smiles, coming in for a hug.

“Hey” you smile returning the hug as Aaron comes round the corner nodding. ‘Aaron, you alright?” you ask.

“Yeah” he smiles, giving you a half hug before heading into the room with Jamie.

“Got you food” you say, setting it on the table. There's a knock at the door and you listen as Jamie ends it speaking in a hushed tone. The door closes.

“I’ll be back” He says dapping Stefan who looks at Jamie and then to me.

“Youre leaving already?” Stef asks me.

“Nah, she's staying”

“Jamie you do know ladies aren't meant to sleep on the couch”

“She’s not, she’s sleeping in my room”

“But you don't like anyone in your room”

“She's not just anyone is she?” Jamie asks Stef who smiles nodding in agreement.

“No, no she’s not. Shes one of us” Stef smiles. Jamies phone rings again and he picks u stepping back.

“YO BRO WHO WAS THAT PENG TING YOU WERE WITH TODAY AT THE FAIR. FUCK MAN SHE’S SERIOUS” the person on the other end shouts and Jamie hangs up shooting you an annoyed look.

“I’m gonna burn that dress”

“I’m gonna have it framed” you tease tiptoeing to kiss him before he's out the door.

“Shut up, I'll be back in a bit” he swallows, returning to his stoic demeanour as he walks out the door.

You hold him back by his wrist and he turns with a raised brow. “Be safe, be smart and come back home.”

Jamie smiles, taking your face in his hands and kissing you chastly in lieu of you two not being alone. “Believe me I’m coming back to do what the rest of the men today could only dream” he whispers winking discreetly.

“Can’t wait” You smile, unlocking your phone and heading to your favourite online retailer to buy the dress in every colour.

_____

thanks for reading 😘 let me know how I did.