#for the absence of her friend — queue

[angelkissiies]

pancakes for dinner

abby anderson x reader

cw : love confessions , anxiety , hockey!abby , girly!reader (glitter n pink fan) , modern!au

wc : 2.5 (HOW DID IT GET THIS LONG)

a / n : i never meant for this to be so long but i adore a love confession n hockey!abby ,, anyways ! enjoy ! also if you see grammatical issues SQUINT i didnt proofread this !!!

based off of emotions i get from THIS song ,, and some ugly dude being mean to abs on twitter ..

You stared down at the blank sheets of paper, fluffy fountain pen twirling in between your fingers as you let your playlist restart. You had so much to say, that you almost didn’t couldn’t find a way to say it, the itching anxiety pulling at your heart as you glanced at the clock. ‘7:38 PM’. Her flight was landing in a couple hours, you internally kicked yourself for waiting so long, but finally made the first move to start writing. 

‘Bee, Abby, 

This seems extremely silly right now and I kinda want to throw up at the idea of you actually seeing this’ 

You let out a sigh, striking out the line before continuing. 

‘I need you to know some things, some things I've been meaning to tell you for, well, forever. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember and as much as I don't want to risk losing that, I can’t not tell you. I’ve been very clear about my sexuality and you’ve been so supportive of me– but I can't let you set me up with any more of your hockey friends (you’re probably wondering why this is soo important but just keep reading.)

Don’t get me wrong, Nora was a lovely date– opened the car door for me and everything, but it just wasn’t right. I know you and as you’re reading this you’re probably shaking your head and muttering something about ‘you just didn’t give her a chance,’ but just stay with me here. 

I have gone on dates and I have tried all the dating apps, I’ve even had my fair share of hookups–

but Abby, I can’t stop thinking about you. 

From the day I met you, I think I've always known. You have been all I've wanted and I really understood that this year, I mean seeing you hooking up with all of those girls made me jealous– as stupid as it sounds, and no, It wasn’t because they were prettier than me or something, but it was because they had you.’ 

Your stomach churned as you halted, taking an unsteady breath, your finger moving to skip the song that had come on– ‘Heather’ by Conan Gray being in bad taste for the moment. You had the urge to rip the paper apart, hiding all evidence of the confession of your love, and nestle into your bunk bed– waiting for the inevitable knock on your door when she arrived back, begging to chat about her travels. Though, you remained still– chewing on the flesh of your lip before forcing yourself to continue. 

‘I’m saying this now because I fear, if not now then never. Your absence gave me a chance to figure out my feelings about you without worrying about you accidentally finding out. I needed to overcome my fear of losing you and came to realize that I can't, so writing this all out is seriously freaking me out. ‘ 

A ringing from your phone made you jump, the music pausing briefly as you checked the caller ID, the air caught in your lungs as you realized who it was. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” You chanted, staring at the little picture of her that accompanied the tense ringing in the now quiet room. ‘Shit!” You huffed, at last, letting your finger swipe across the screen to accept before placing her on speaker. 

“Hey!” Her groggy voice rang out, accompanied by the loud bustle of what sounded like a crowd. “Did I wake you up or something?” 

You let out a small, confused noise before answering– hand shaking slightly. “No, no. Just doing some work. What about you, you sound like shit.” You teased, taking a deep breath to gain your composure. The last thing you needed was to queue her on to anything, letting her remain clueless for as long as you possibly could. 

Abby snorted, rolling her eyes as she pulled her heavy suitcase behind her through the crowds of people. “No, just tired, they managed to get us on an earlier plane at the last minute– I had planned to sleep all day before the flight but surprise, surprise.” She hummed, watching as her team slowly began to disappear out of the double doors. “Anyways, because I'm getting back so early, I wanted to see if you’d be up for a movie tonight.” 

You felt time slow down, eyes shooting to the unfinished letter on your desk, you could barely find it in yourself to respond– feeling borderline dizzy at the rapid thumping of your heart, “Y-yeah, that sounds great. What are we watching?” She wasn’t supposed to be back for hours, and now you're getting told that she was already here? That you had to finish your declaration of love, now?! 

“I was thinking we could see that new avatar movie, what was it called?” 

“Way of water.” You spoke quietly, putting your pen down so hard on the sheet of paper– you were almost sure it was gonna rip. “That sounds great, when will you be here? I need to get ready.” Your pen began scribbling down the rest of your thoughts, handwriting less neat than it had been before. You didn’t know if you cared though, the thought of being caught in the middle of doing this was more mortifying than being articulate. 

“Say..” Abby trailed off, pulling up her hoodie sleeve to peer at her watch. 8:20 PM. “Does 8:45 sound good? Airports not far from campus.” 

You could’ve choked, forcing yourself to nod– even though she couldn’t see you. “Yeah, perfect. I’ll meet you downstairs, I’m sure you wanna change.” 

“Finally, a girl who gets me.” She joked, pushing the double doors open, and glancing around for the team bus. A chill rolled down her spine as she pushed the varsity jacket closed, blocking any more chill. “I've gotta go, I'm getting on the bus– but I’ll see you soon.” 

“See you soon!” 

You practically threw the pen down, doing a quick once over of the letter before folding it neatly– placing it inside its designated pink envelope. Your heart was racing, making you sweat slightly, as you slid out from your chair. You’d planned this all out so perfectly, yet, here you were– sliding on your crocs as you exited your dorm in an attempt to make this confession as seamless as possible. You were terrified of the possibility of her saying she didn’t feel the same, terrified that she wouldn't want to be friends anymore, terrified that she was still in love with her ex. Just terrified. 

The hallway passed in flashes, your mind too preoccupied to take in anything else as you speed walked to her door. It was as it usually was, empty, with the exception that her roommate had drawn a little moth in the corner of the whiteboard next to the number indicator. She was a neat girl, Ellie, but it always confused you at how they’d come to be assigned together– seeing as Abby was majoring in sports medicine and Ellie in physics. You shook the thoughts away, practically beating down the door with how hard you knocked. 

A few moments passed and you heard the soft pattering of feet on the carpet before the door swung open, a very disgruntled girl standing before you. “Dude, I literally have an exam tomorrow, what do you want?” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. From all the times she'd met you, she was used to the intrusion– almost finding it funny how often you came by. “Abby isn’t here.” 

You nodded, pushing the envelope forward, watching as she looked at it and then back at you. “Can you put this on her bed? Just leave it there, that's all.” You gushed, glancing at the digital clock on her desk before dropping it into her now outstretched hand. 8:33 PM. “I have to go, so just please make sure she gets it okay?” Your feet were already moving, taking large backward steps into the hall before turning on your heel– leaving a slightly confused, slightly curious Ellie peering down the hall as you disappeared around the corner. 

The door to your dorm was still slightly ajar, making it easier for you to slip back in and begin changing out of your – what you’d begun to call – lesbian pajamas. The reason was that they had little hearts in varying shades of pink and orange dotting the fabric. By the time you’d had a chance to even pull on your shoes, It was already pushing 8:40PM– meaning that any second Abby would be passing your dorm to go change and you’d be practically bouncing off the walls with pent-up anxiety. 

Abby trudged up the stairwell, making a mental note to email the maintenance guys about the elevator, her suitcase hovering just above to not smack against the concrete. She tossed her braid over her shoulder, using her free hand to push the metal door open, stepping out into the warmth of the hallway. A soft sigh left her mouth as she paused, eyes fluttering to the door that bore your name in glitter peel-and-stick letters, a small smile pulling at her chapped lips– internally debating on stopping to talk to you, but coming to the conclusion that she’d just come back in a couple minutes. It always popped into her mind, upon thinking about you, she practically had to drag herself away from you to get anything done. 

As she passed by your door, she heard soft music– particularly a song she’d heard many, many times before. It made her heart skip slightly, upon the realization that you’d actually started listening to the songs she recommended, that being more than a small victory in her books. She glanced up at your whiteboard, it being pretty empty besides the few hearts you’d forgotten to erase from valentines day, before uncapping a marker to leave a tiny drawing of two girl stick figures in the mass of hearts. 

You were lying face down on your pillows, biting back the screams that tempted your lips as you waited for the alarm on your phone to sound– the idea of seeing Abby making your stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. The words of ‘Pancakes for Dinner’ by Lizzy Mcalpine permeated your thoughts, making you sigh aloud, she made it seem so easy. Too easy. You just wanted to say all of what you were feeling to her, see her face when she realized, and know instantly whether or not your friendship was over. The waiting made it all so much worse. You sat up, lifting your phone just as the annoying beeping started, making you groan. 

The music stopped as you swiped off of the app, pulling yourself up to sit on the edge of your bed– sliding your crocs over the pink fluffy socks you’d slipped on in spite of the dropping temperatures. “You can do this. You can definitely do this.” You whispered, coming to stand before grabbing the dorm keys from your bedside table. You couldn’t back out now, though you desperately wanted to, shuffling out of your room and into the hallway– already missing the comfort of your room. 

Ellie had greeted Abby at the door, the realization of the letter finally clicking in her head, an annoying smug grin on her lips. It was beyond confusing for the blonde, giving her an odd look as she let her suitcase fall on the floor in front of her bed. “What is wrong with you?” She finally asked, digging through her drawer, feeling the auburns eyes burning a hole into the back of her head. “You’re being weird, er, weirder than usual.” 

“Nothing, nothing. You have, uh, mail.” She coughed, covering a small chuckle, turning back to her computer as she sat down– keeping an eye on the pink envelope sitting perfectly on the dark surface of her bedspread. 

Abby knitted her brows together, following the girl's gaze to an envelope she automatically recognized as yours. How did she know? Well, you were the only girl on campus who used pink envelopes and she didn’t think that another could have manifested in the short time she was away. She instantly lost all interest in what she was doing, practically tripping over her bags to get to it. “Did she say what it was about?” She asked, turning the little thing in her hands, noticing the little star sticker you’d used to seal the envelope. 

Ellie shook her head, putting her hands up as if to say ‘i dunno’ before looking back down to her work– leaving Abby to tear open the pink paper hastily. 

You sat outside on the bench, tapping the toes of your shoe onto the pavement as you waited, jumping at every noise of the door– hoping, praying, that she even came. It had been so long since you’d felt this kind of scared, less schoolgirl more double homicide, as you pondered what could possibly come of this. The best case scenario being she felt the same way, and the worst case scenario was that she hated your guts and went around telling everyone that you were just some weird girl with a crush on her– that wasn’t likely though, seeing as that wasn't Abby. She’d never be so harsh. The reality was that she’d let you down easy, slowly but surely ghosting you in the process. You didn’t know what scared you more, good or bad news. 

The loud squeaking of the hinges drove you from your thoughts, making you glance behind you, a strained breath catching in your throat as you saw her– glancing around before she saw you. “Abby, hey,--” You began, standing to meet her in the middle, hands wringing nervously behind you. 

The blonde didn’t speak, her hands coming up to cup your cheeks, dipping down to press a needy kiss to your lips. Nothing had ever been so important, the letter being more than enough to send her practically flying out of her dorm to find you, she’d been waiting for the day she’d come to admit her feelings out loud– though as she felt you melt into her, hands now bunched in her jacket, she knew words were unnecessary. You’d been what she wanted this entire time, all the girls and the parties and the one-night stands being in spite of her budding feelings. She’d been trying to get you off her mind, protecting the friendship that meant more than anything to her. Your words flashed through her mind, making her smile slightly against your lips. 

You pulled away, taking a much-needed gulp of air, before looking up at the burly woman. The light was blocked out by her head, making a kind of halo around her. She looked beautiful, she always looked beautiful, but this was different. “Abby..” You breathed, eyes meeting her own. “Are you–?” 

Abby nodded, using her thumbs to caress the blushed flesh of your cheeks. “I am.” 

[ughkat]

focus on me | l.r.h

part seven

part 6 here

college tutor luke au

a/n: { bit of a slow chapter, part 8 in the works!! :-)}

tutor!luke x fem!reader

cw: cursing, tutorxstudent, very brief mention of blood?

not proofread

_

Saturday

6:00 PM

"Why are you acting so weird?" Leah snapped me from my trance, my eyes glued to my sheets ob the bed below me. We had planned our usual hangout in my dorm, bought a disgusting amount junk food and had a queue of movies and shows waiting for us on my laptop.

It had been almost a week since my last session with Luke, since then, he's disappeared.

I didn't receive any texts informing me of a following session, so I had assumed if I just showed up, so would he. The following days after that Monday, I would stay after class expecting Luke's arrival, but he never showed. I asked my professor if he knew what was going on, he nonchalantly brushed it off. "He'll be back." "Probably has other things to do."

I couldn't help but feel as if he had been avoiding me.

"What? I'm fine." I forced a chuckle, furrowing my brows at my friend. I had failed to tell her anything of worth. How would I tell her I fucked my tutor? The one she knows personally?

Leah gave me a cross look, her smile crooked.

"You're a terrible liar, Y/n." She rolled her eyes. "But, if you say so." She scoffed, tossing a handfull of random chips into her mouth. I sighed, contemplating if I should just "man up" and tell her about my stressing events of the previous week.

I continued to stay in my daze as Leah vegged out on my laptop, watching a TV show I had no interest in. I bit my cheek, my mind wandering to all the possible reasons for Luke's absence. Did I do something? Is it me? Am I being dramatic? What if it has nothing to do with me? Where is he? Why do I miss him?

"Dude." Leah spoke abruptly, widening her eyes at my face, "You're bleeding." I once again snapped from my daze, bringing my tongue to my previously chewed on lip. My anxieties had let me absentmindedly chew enough skin off the corner of my lip, making me bleed.

"Oh, shit." I wiped away the little blood with my thumb, taking a deep breath at my undermined nervousness.

"Seriously, what's going on?" Leah spoke softly, pausing the show on my laptop. She sat criss cross, turning herself towards me to listen. She stared at me with genuine compassion. I glanced at her briefly before darting my eyes to my hands, which were fidgeting relentlessly in my lap. I sighed deeply before speaking.

"I don't know..." I began, "It's a lot... And a little crazy." I shook my head. Leah inched closer, tilting her head.

"You can talk to me, babe." She reassured, poking my knee playfully with a finger. I smiled softly, looking up at her warm face.

"Okay..." I sighed, "You have to swear on your life to keep this a secret. Seriously, this is confidential information." I stressed to my friend, half sarcastically, but genuine. Leah raised her eyebrows at the seriousness, but nodded.

"Of course. What happens in this room stays in this room. My lips are sealed." She smiled. My thumbs twirled in my lap anxiously as I tried ti gather my words neatly and orderly, which ended up coming out like word vomit instead.

"Luke and I..." I started, my eyes glued to my lap, "I fucked Luke... And I liked it. And it happened twice. And now he hasn't been at school in like, a week and I'm worried it's my fault, and he hasn't texted me, and-" Leah threw her hands up in front of her chest, halting my words.

"Yo." She spoke, blinking slowly, "Let me get this straight... You fucked your tutor? You and Luke fucked? Where?! How?!" She exclaimed, speaking with her hands dramatically. I threw my hands over my face in embarrassment, my cheeks started to get hot.

"I know." I whined into my hands, "I don't even know how this happened, Leah." I groaned, sinking into my posture. Leah's mouth was agape, collecting her thoughts.

"Can't he like, get arrested for that?" She asked genuinely. I widened my eyes.

"Can he?!" I exclaimed, "I'm not a child why would he get arrested?!" I yelled in a whisper.

"Cause he's technically a teacher... Right?" Leah furrowed her brows. I shook my head in frustration.

"I don't know, dude. It's all so much." I whined, dropping my hands back to my lap. "Please, don't tell anyone. Like anyone." I pleaded, looking at Leah with genuine concern.

"I won't." Leah reassured, still very obviously mind boggled at the battalion of information she just received.

We sat in a tense silence for a moment before Leah spoke up.

"What are you gonna' do?" She spoke through her teeth. I glanced at her, her expression full of sympathy yet shared stress.

"I don't know. I wish he'd say something. A text. Anything." I mumbled.

"Have you texted him?" Leah tilted her head. My eyes darted around the room. Am I stupid? Of course I am. Why don't I text him?

"I haven't." I shoke my head, reaching for my cellphone beside me. "I don't even know what to say.".

"Uh, I don't know, maybe "Why are you ghosting me I have the ability to ruin your entire career"? Hello?" She spoke with a petty and sarcastic tone, I couldn't help but let a small giggle escape my lips at her immediate hastiness towards Luke's absence.

"I'm not saying that." I scoffed, "I'm not mad at him or anything." I spoke as my thumbs hovered over the screen, looking at our last message threads. My mind raced, what do I say? "Where are you?" "Are you okay?" "Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?".

"Hey. Everything okay?"

I typed out my message hesitantly, my thumb scared of the send button. Leah watched me patiently as I finally hit send, I tossed my phone quickly away from me as I did, as If I was thirteen and texted my crush for the first time.

"Ugh, why does he make me feel this way." I groaned, flopping on my back into my bed.

"I told you he wasn't shit." Leah mumbled. I shot her a death stare before sitting back up.

"We don't know why he isn't talking to me yet. Maybe there's a genuine reason." I tried to stay optimistic. Leah scoffed.

"Right. I hope so.". I bit my cheek with unease as I took in Leah's unenthusiastic tone. I didn't want to believe Luke was avoiding me for any reason. I couldn't imagine what I had done. Though our last session had ended fairly awkward, I assumed the events spilled that day inferred that the stance on our contact with one another was acceptable. Sure, we didn't get to talk much, but I doubted that he would be intimate with me while wanting nothing to do with me...Right?

My eyes found themselves darting to my phone every few minutes, the ringer was off yet I hopelessly checked in the chance that Luke's message silently made it's way through. I tried to stay grounded, have a good rest of the evening with my friend.

"Don't dwell on it right now." Leah gave me a playful shove, noticing my tense posture, "See what happens on Monday." She spoke in a no-sweat tone, an obvious attempt to calm my uneasy feelings.

9:00 PM

A yawn escaped my chest as I gathered Leah and I's mess from just a bit ago, making my way to the bin with handfuls of wrappers, bags, and bottles.

I stopped suddenly in my tracks as a single chime rang from my phone across the room, making my heart jump slightly. Not getting my hopes up, I nonchalantly finished my cleaning, ignoring the notification until I concluded my job. I could feel the idea of the notification belonging to Luke try to take control of my thoughts, but remained calm. Why was I letting him affect me this way? He made me feel crazy.

I leisurely made my way to my bed, getting comfortable in the blankets and sheets before hesitantly grabbing my phone. The screen set aglow to my face as the notification showed iteself to me. Luke. 1 Message.

"Yup."

I furrowed my eyebrows, narrowing my eyes as I swiftly unlocked my phone, opening the whole message thread.

"Yup?" I spoke aloud in disbelief, bringing my phone closer to my face. What did that mean? Yup? I felt myself fill with anger and confusion. I felt as if I'd rather him just kept ignoring me. I scolded myself mentally for my immediate assumptions of the tone of his message, as "Yup" could be spoken in any emotion. I couldn't help but feel immediately insecure, as though his message was standoffish.

My leg bounced hastily, I bit my cheek as a million emotions flooded me at once. I didn't know what to say. If I should say anything at all. What if he's not mad? What if I'm being dramatic? I let myself overthink, staring at his text in a daze.

"Are you sure?"

I typed impulsively, sending without thinking. I just wanted a real answer. Quicker than I excepted, Luke started to type. I felt my heartbeat begin to pick up, feeling silly at how easily he controlled my emotions. His message snatched my attention abruptly.

"I'll see you on Monday."

[strawberryys-stuff]

Neteyam x avatar!reader

part 2 :))

genre: fluff

part 1 part 3

a/n: i have no clue what to add to part 1, but here you go!

When Lo'ak suggested that you should try and experience the adrenaline of riding an Ikran, the vibrant blue color got drained from your face. You admired the creature, no doubt in that, but the thought of being among the clouds frightened you, especially if it meant having Lo'ak as the escort.

"No," you push yourself through the doorway of your bedroom, passing the youngest son of Toruk Makto with a full box of Norm's paperwork in your arms. "I am not stepping out of this laboratory to fly a banshee, especially if it means you get to skip your sparring match with Neteyam."

"Come on," Lo'ak rolls his eyes and skips after you, dodging the 'happy birthday' sign that Max insisted Norm hangs above your bedroom door the day prior with a quick bend. You place the box down on Norm's precisely clean desk with a huff, your best friend stealing a peek over your shoulder at the statistics with a frown. "It'll be fun! Definitely much more of a fun than this.." he points to the papers, "mess."

You pinch the bridge of your nose and turn to face the blue-skinned boy with a sigh. "Lo'ak-"

"Don't be a wuss," you send a scowl his way. He brings his hands up in surrender, the corners of his mouth curving into a weak smirk. Lo'ak knows how to hit the nerve of yours. "Flying an Ikran is our tradition. If you wanna fit in, you need to do it." you walk away from him with an annoyed groan. "Besides, i'm gonna be there with you!" Lo'ak calls after you, chuckling when he receives a whine in return from the hallway.

---

"I hate you," you breathe out, knees weakening and heartbeat speeding up. You are currently sitting cross-legged on the upper chamber of the Hometree, hands tied behind your back.

When you noticed a note on your door in the morning from Norm that reminded you of his and Max's quick trip to collect more examples from Pandora's flora, you used their absence to sneak out in your avatar and wander around the forest, unaware of the pair of yellow eyes watching your every move.

"I wanna pluck your eyes out right now," you state with a threatening tone when Lo'ak approaches you with his Ikran. You pull your knees to your chest as they stop in front of your shivering figure, clearly amused by your reaction. "I thought you said you and Neteyam have a sparring match in the morning."

Lo'ak pats the side of his banshee before he kneels beside you, excitement present in his gaze. "We do," he nods as his hands travel to your tied ones. He frees them but immediately traps them in his, knowing you will try to escape any minute if he doesn't. "I'm just not going to show up."

"That's awful," you voice your opinion about the situation and let the Na'vi push you forward. Your chest tightens when the two of you reach the Ikran, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "Lo'ak, please.."

Your best friend places one of his hands on your shoulder while the other finds its way on his banshee and begins to caress her skin affectionately. "Do you trust me?" he locks his eyes on the back of your head and notices the hairstyle change, which probably is from Kiri and Tuk.

"I do," you swallow hard when his Ikran slightly rubs her head against the back of your shaking hand, not noticing Lo'ak connecting his queue to hers. "I do trust you."

"Good," he grasps your waist and lifts you up with ease, putting you on the creature. Unintentionally, you swing one of your legs over to the other side of his colorful Ikran, heartbeat increasing when she releases a screech. Lo'ak positions himself in front of you and finds a steady grip on the banshee while you wrap your arms around his waist. "Ready?"

"No-" with a whistle, the Ikran runs to the edge of the upper chamber and you bury your scrunched face in Lo'ak's shoulder. "I hate you!"

The beginning of the unpleasant flight is mostly filled with gliding and slow pace, but after Lo'ak notices the lack of your screams and swears, he starts to mess around with the speed and adds some tricks to spice it up.

"It isn't that bad, is it?" he glances over his shoulder at you, chuckling. You slap his shoulder-blade in disagreement. When your hand meets his vibrant blue skin, Lo'ak takes a sharp turn to dodge a floating island he didn't notice before he dedicated his attention to you. The sudden change accompanies the pressure of the wind around you, pushing your side. Your fingertips brush Lo'ak's bicep as you fall off his Ikran, eyes widening. "Shit!"

A panicked shout of your best friend's name scratches the inside of your throat and strikes Lo'ak with guilt and fear. His Ikran senses the enormous amount of panic and dives after you.

Your falling avatar is caught by a strong pair of arms, saved from a harsh fall and possible death. You catch your breath as Lo'ak stops next to your savior, relief present in his gaze.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Neteyam pulls your shaking figure to his chest and glares at his irresponsible brother. Your arm sneaks behind his shoulders while his lecture continues to pass through your ringing ears.

"I didn't expect them to fall!" Lo'ak tries to defend himself, unable to absorb the situation. Neteyam scoffs and adjusts your position in his embrace, encouraging you to spread your legs and make yourself comfortable - promising he has a secure grip on you and that you're allowed to move. "Y/n, I'm sorry."

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not," Neteyam cuts you off and points to his younger brother, ears pulled back. He clicks his tongue, "You're so fucking lucky they aren't injured. If they were, you would be headless."

Lo'ak lowers his head in shame as you lean backwards, your savior's breath hitching when your back is fully pressed against his chest. To say you are intimidated is an understatement. Neteyam doesn't curse often, hell, he doesn't curse at all because he wants to live up to his father's expectations, but when your health and safety is involved, he isn't afraid to break the rules.

"Go home," The Olo'etykan-in-training commands, fighting the urge to beat some sense into his brother. "And help Kiri with the preparations for the ceremony." Lo'ak opens his mouth to protest, but with one quick raise of Neteyam's eyebrows he doesn't waste a second and swallows his words.

"Again," The younger son makes eye contact with you and scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." you send him a nod of forgiveness and assure him that you are going to be okay with a soft smile. With a stern look piercing through his skull, Lo'ak disappears in the clouds above you.

Neteyam places his forehead on the nape of your neck and sighs with relief. "You okay?" he hums, his lips brushing against your skin which sends goosebumps down your spine. Your hand travels to his knee and leaves gentle rubs on top of it as he shifts in his spot behind you.

"You scared the hell out of me," he confesses and pats the side of his Ikran, tightening his grip around your waist. You chuckle under your breath, pressing your back to his chest when the banshee begins to move forward. "Thank you, Eywa, for the sickening feeling I got when Lo'ak didn't show up to the sparring match."

"Thank you, Eywa, for sending this brave warrior to save me."

Neteyam slaps your thigh gently and presses a sweet kiss on the back of your head, chuckling. "Shut it."

[neiptune]

all over me

(gojo x female reader)

wc: 2k

warnings: angst, you won't find any comfort here my friends

There's only one place Satoru usually stops by in Shibuya and although he's prayed he would so many times, he certainly doesn't expect to find you in it

Sweat runs down Satoru’s back as he takes one hand out of his pocket to push up dark sunglasses, annoyance taking shape in the creases between his furrowed brows. He should’ve went for the cashmere jumper instead of the wool sweater but then again, he can’t quite remember the last time he had made a good decision. Not that he would ever allow anyone to know.

People are buzzing around Shibuya as usual and he has to offer more than one gentle smile to strangers profusely apologizing for bumping into him on their way to god knows what, god knows where. As he finally makes it out of Takeshita street the mob decreases in density at last, giving him the chance to take a deep breath: sometimes the drainage smell can rise to the surface and make the simple experience of taking a walk excruciating, but today Shibuya smells just right. Smoke coming from yakitori restaurants mixes interestengly well with the strong smell of fermented soybeans scattered in colorful stands and the sweet, fruity scent coming from the magnolia trees blossoming among shops and sidewalks.

Satoru comes to a halt right in front of it, old habits die hard after all. As usual, the Aoyama flower market teahouse comes with a consistent queue outside its pretty building. It’s a Tuesday afternoon and under normal circumstances he’d have to wait around 50 minutes to get inside but he’s, well, him, and he’s known for two things: dashing charm and generous tips. Sunglasses are graciously pushed over his forehead, lazy half-smile a blinding crescent moon as the lady in charge of the queue, name list in her hand, bows and motions him towards the entrance right away. There was a time when you would’ve rolled your eyes, with a sarcastic huff and a barely muttered you are shameless. When he was with you, Satoru had only been allowed to work his magic once: every other time, you had always forced him to respect the queue. Sure enough, each time, he complied. And that was the magic you worked.

He’s not bothered by the smell anymore, way too sweet for his taste. But every blossom, branch and flower still has your laugh embedded in it, so it’s alright, really. He wonders if this is still your favorite place to hide away in, where you’d catch up with your friends on rainy days, sit all alone with a book whenever you needed a break from reality, snap selfies of you two nestled between hues of an impossible amount of pretty flowers. Red, pink, green, orange, white, their scent lingering on you for him to savor it for hours on end, the way you’d jokingly push him away when he’d try to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck for the millionth time. Satoru gets a kick out of the way ill stitched wounds tear apart and resume their bleeding whenever he steps foot in this place, pain crashing over him in waves, the emptiness of his chest taking the shape of your absence all over again through a carving so painful not even the strongest sorcerer feels powerful enough to bear. But it’s only right. He doesn’t deserve smooth edges and being the strongest unfortunately means he survives the process every single time.

“Toru?” a timid whisper, one he’d recognize everywhere regardless of having been left without that voice for over two years now.

And sure enough you’re there, actually there, sitting at your own glass table with plants sprouting from underneath it, a giant plate of your usual order in front of you, mocking him, because apparently nothing has changed besides your absence in his life. He’s hated french toast ever since.

Satoru approaches your table, patiently ignoring the way his stomach has flipped at the familiarity of your voice paired with the nickname.

“Hey” he hasn’t seen you in so long, and this is all he can come up with. But it must mean something, finding you here at last after endless wanderings and cups of tea he doesn’t even like and flower parfaits and rose jellies. It must mean something, the fact that you invite him to sit, smile every bit as warm as he remembered.

“How have you been?” you ask right after he places his order, a hot mojito even in the middle of the afternoon, because he can’t hold his liquor and definitely can’t do this while sober.

“Good, busy. You know how it is” he grins with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

“I know how it is” your lips curl in a soft smile as you drag a forkful of french toast through syrup.

“You look great, by the way. Shorter hair suits you”

The way you shift nervously in your seat as you let out a uh, thanks signals your discomfort so he leans back ever so slightly, gives you space, hopes to be smart enough to reassess a lead he doesn’t actually have. With each sputter, his heart seems to be articulating all the words he’s been aching to say out loud for the past two years. I miss you. Come back. I’ll do better. Please. Please. Please.

And you know him well enough to sense that, whatever it is, it’s coming. So you brace yourself the best you can, with a deep breath and tense muscles, ankles crossed underneath the table pressing painfully to each other, toes curled in your sneakers.

“Let’s get dinner tonight” his slender fingers are closed tightly around the glass, in sharp contrast with the casualness of his pitch. The deep sigh you let out is a flag red enough but, frankly, he refuses to go down without a fight. What should he fear at this point? Humiliation? He’s been without you long enough to figure there’s nothing worse. He’ll handle humiliation.

“Satoru” the name rolls off your tongue as a warning but you can’t ignore the way your heart squeezes a little at the sound of it. You haven’t said that name out loud in forever and it still tastes every bit as sweet and dangerous as it did back then.

“What?” he challenges, impatient “it’s just dinner”

“I have to be home for dinner”

“Why?”

He’s not a dumb man, he knows what you’re about to say. Regardless, he needs to hear it before the glass shatters in his very hand.

“Don’t do this” you let out a shaky breath as you put your fork down, suddenly unable to stomach a single other bite.

“There’s someone” Satoru does his best not to make it sound like an accusation because it really isn’t. It couldn’t be, he wouldn’t dare.

Your gaze meets his and it’s hard to remind yourself that you’re a different person now that you’ve been away from his magnetic field long enough. Leaving came with the terrifying, inevitable need to learn how to be, who to be, on your own. You had been with him for so long it had been excruciating to find out, during those first months, you couldn’t remember how to be whole without the stupid amount of his cologne stinking up the small bathroom of your studio apartment, his chin resting on your shoulder, his fingers gently massaging shampoo in your scalp, his good mornings. His his his. Everything was a reminder of how much you had given and the unbearable, sweet time each piece was taking to travel back to you and try to fit in its original spot.

But they did, in the end. Most of them, anyway. Little by little, each part crawled back and you had to patiently pick them up and find a place to gently push them in. They didn’t fit with each other as well as they did in the beginning, he had made a miserable, imperfect puzzle out of you: one with pieces fitting with the wrong ones well enough not to make the subtle cracks noticeable to everyone else. You’d been left with a version of yourself you had to get to know from the start and the process had been so painful, so exhausting, you’d sworn you’d never risk any of that ever again.

Still, it doesn’t mean you don’t miss it. What you had was a kind of love that, to this day, you deem unrepeatable. Being with Satoru felt like knowing exactly where you were meant to be in the world: it was powerful and overwhelming, all consuming, a feeling strong enough to match the strongest there was. The beauty of it was that it was a balanced exchange coming from both sides, constantly created between you two in equal measure.

You’ve made peace with the thought that it won’t be possible to feel that way with someone that isn’t him, no even now that you’re in love and fairly happy, not even now that you’re free. Satoru is still there, all over you. But as much as you’re certain he’d still move heaven and hell and every other world or dimension available to make you happy, to keep you safe, it’s too late. It will always be too late.

“Yes” your reply is as dry as your throat.

Satoru remains silent, eyes focused on the glass of ice water in front of you, condensation dripping down onto the tabletop and forming a small puddle underneath it. The place is so fancy and yet cold drinks don’t come with coasters, it’s ridiculous.

“Does it compare?” the question comes out light, void of anger or bitterness. He wonders if you’ll still be fooled, even after so much time apart. Because no matter the way his whole being ached and burned and radiated with the disarming love he had for you, there was always a small, almost imperceptible part of Gojo Satoru he had always kept to himself. The same one that ruined everything, in the end.

“It doesn’t” you speak truthfully “but I’m happy”

He hums, pensive.

“I sure wonder what that feels like”

You shut your eyes for a second. It didn’t end with smoke and gunpowder, explosive fights, cheating or lying: you were too in love with each other to let any of that get in the way. It ended simply because he never thought it could end.

“It feels right” you push the knife a little deeper, not enough to tear him apart entirely but surely enough to make him feel it. And oh, does he feel it.

“Right”, Satoru repeats the word mockingly “I guess that means he’s the one. Better marry him fast”

The derision in his tone is just too much for you to bear. He’s still so good at pushing all your buttons until you snap, until you’re angry enough to forget the childish desire to safeguard his feelings. Why would he deserve such grace after everything he’d put you through?

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, Satoru. He’s already asked and I already said yes”

For a moment, he thinks there must be a curse concealed somewhere around the crowded teashop, somewhere between leaves and branches and colorful flowers. Because why else would everything be still alive, breathing, moving? How are people chatting mindlessly around him, how is the sudden, light rain still falling outside? Why isn’t everything motionless or at least slowly crumbling in on itself?

The strongest always needs a fragment to hold onto, something only his that can be worn like armor. Memories nag mercilessly at the back of his mind: the day he’d met you, a few seconds of playful banter enough to make him grin and drop a nonchalant well, this is going way too smoothly to not let it be a date. How he’d always make sure to get up at dawn whenever you spent the night wrapped in silk sheets, rushing to make breakfast and brew coffee because he simply couldn’t risk you collecting your clothes and vanishing from his apartment while he was asleep. The way you’d convinced him to try out a skincare routine, giggling as you carefully massaged clay masks and serums and your favorite moisturizer into his skin. All the times you’d waited for him to come home, movies watched on his couch, late night hushed conversations about the future, how you’d rolled your eyes with a coy smile at his m’gonna marry you.

He meant every word, could’ve sworn he would’ve stopped breathing if left without your lips on his for too long. He meant it, Satoru just thought he had all the time in the world. Because you were his and he was yours, what on earth could’ve changed that?

So he’d stopped notifying you when missions would take too long, leaving you waiting for his return for days, sometimes weeks, not a call nor a reply to your texts. He became increasingly annoyed at the idea of having to hang out with your friends, because he was tired and just didn’t feel like leaving the house and maybe you should’ve stayed too: you hadn’t spent some time alone in a while after all. He’d started throwing around words and phrases you both hated: overreacting, attention-seeking, blowing this out of proportion, don’t ya think you’re being too sensitive?

He forgot birthdays, anniversaries, claimed he couldn’t refuse to go on that mission right on Christmas day, your gift left to collect dust, unopened on his bed. And when you started drifting away, he didn’t notice. Not until your suitcase was packed and your warmth was taken away from his suddenly too large, dull, dark apartment.

So right now he needs it, that fragment. Hadn’t you called him heartless, once? It’s best you keep believing that. You may even be right: there’s not enough left of his heart anyway. He sure hopes you’ll be treated right this time, he wants to wish for your happiness and he does. But the desire for whatever joy expects you to never surpass the one you felt when you were with him is stronger. He will always hold onto that selfishness because it will be all he’s left with while you’re out in the world without him, forever.

“You never even replied when I asked” his smile is bitter, incredulous.

“You never meant it”

Fragment or not, that’s a lie he wouldn’t dare speak out loud. He could never agree with what you just said because, in his life, Satoru never meant anything as much as he did when he rambled endlessly about making you his wife, perfect wedding venue, guest list and witnesses already on his mind. Ring sitting in his secret drawer, still there, to this day.

He gets up and your gaze softens as you watch him put his sunglasses on again, some cash tucked under his empty glass. Of course you still care for him, you always will. And it’s not like it doesn’t hurt, the way this encounter went.

“I hope you find it, too” you mutter with a strange taste in your mouth, one not even all the tea in the world could wash away.

“I will” he flashes you a smile “try to stick around with this one, hm?” doesn’t even give you the time to let the petty words sink in as he gives the two-finger salute and turns around to exit the shop. Eye for an eye.

Whilst wandering through a wet and still overwhelmingly bustling Shibuya, Gojo Satoru chuckles to himself until a broken, boisterous laugh crawls all the way up from his throat. Pedestrians turn their heads in his direction but that only makes him laugh harder. Because how could they get the irony? He’s only had two people in his life that he’s called best friends at some point, only two people he’s loved with every fiber of his being, and he has lost both.

That’s probably the one curse he’ll never be able to exorcise.

[laurettelarue]

After holiday, Laurette is back!

You can see Laurette is very happy to be back here again, after have been hidden in the darkest corner of her closet for over 5 weeks. This is me.. this is how I feel happiest, being Laurette Larue. Thanks to all my followers and chat friends for having been so patient with my long absence... some would say, did not notice. That is very well possible, because I filled my posting queue with plenty of content to make you miss me as little as possible. So will be back posting many more stuff I like and hopefully you will appreciate too... 💋 Laurette

[nspwriteups]

Kannalane Chapter 2: Conversations and Confessions

Aditha. Why did that name sound so familiar? And that person.She was sure she had never seen him in Thanjai before, never heard a voice similar to his, never seen someone who even remotely resembles him but still ... .His presence was so comforting and familiar. Who was this Aditha? How was he able to have such an influence on her after meeting for only a handful of times? Nandini was suddenly gripped by a desire to know more about him. So she made a decision as she laid down to sleep that night. She will go back to the old Banyan tree one last time tomorrow. Just to see that person again.one more time. Maybe even have a friendly conversation as Vishaka told her to do. And then they would separate as acquaintances.She would find a new abode of peace and he can take rest under her Banyan tree with his sword and  daggers as much as he wants without her interference. 

 The next evening Nandini seated herself under the same old place as usual, savouring a mango she got from Vishaka, after putting some mangoes aside for her family and one more for her fellow visitor. He must be from a wealthy family, he may even get baskets of mangoes if he just wished. Her mind chided her. Still, she kept one aside for him so that they could start their pleasantries on a good act of benevolence. But time flew by and her visitor failed to come. She saw the sun disappearing and decided to return to the temple, her heart heavy with disappointment at the absence of her mysterious youth. Well, not so mysterious but a name and a suspicion about his status was all she knew about him.Why was she so crestfallen ? It wasn't like they agreed to a meet and greet. Surely he must have other important duties to attend to, just like she has. With these thoughts, she made her way to the temple. She was again assigned the role of distributing prasad to the devotees. 

Sometimes fate works in strange ways. That was what Nandini thought when she saw Aditha enter the temple. He was alone and seemed to be searching for someone. The moment his eyes locked on hers, he gave her a grin and made his way over standing at the end of the line.She returned to focus on her task at hand but couldn't help sneak a glance at him at times. He was standing straight, with hands at his back, moving ever so slightly as the queue started moving, looking around at the crowd with a carefree look. Suddenly she wished the queue would move faster so he could reach her quicker. Did he come to see her?  Maybe apologise for not coming today? She wished to talk to someone about it. Where was Vishaka when you needed her?

After what seemed to be a long time, he stood in front of her. "Hello Chempaka" he said in a teasing tone.

"I'm not wearing any Chempaka flowers today" she said 

"Do you want me to get you some?" He replied quickly, with his usual smirk.

She narrowed her eyes at him. How brashen he is. " You didn't come today" She said, meaning to say it as a question but it came out sounding like a statement. He looked at her for a minute in genuine confusion before a look of realisation came over his face. 

"I'm sorry Devi. I didn't know you were waiting for me" he said, looking for confirmation in her face.  She knew even if she denied it, he would catch her lie from her face. " I was ..just…wondering" she nevertheless made a somewhat convincing excuse, as she handed over the prasad to him. He received it and said " I will come tomorrow. I promise" .Then turning to pray to the deity, he walked away, not before giving her a reassuring smile. She returned the smile.

He came as promised. And what occurred was deafening silence. Nandini quickly realised she wasn't like Vishaka at all. Vishaka could make friends with anyone within minutes while Nandini took longer time to create friendship. She was even comfortable sitting in silence instead of filling the quietness with words like Vishaka. It seemed Aditha was also of the same attitude. At first they used to bask in their silence, occasionally remarking on the weather or talking about the latest events. Slowly but surely as the days passed, Nandini found herself going back on her decision and arriving at her personal abode of peace now sharing it with her newfound friend, Aditha. And as the bond of trust between them started to strengthen, they exchanged their life stories. 

" I'm an orphan" Aditha said "My mother died in childbirth and my father was a soldier who was killed in war when I was seven. He was a close friend of the Sambuvarayar Shivarama. After my father died, he adopted me as his son as he and his wife were childless. I had been at Nagaipattanam for the past few months to learn sword fighting and horse riding . I wish to be a soldier like my biological father and to serve the Chozha Naadu" 

"Have you never wished for a sibling?" Nandini asked

"I like to think I had a handful of siblings last life and that's why I don't have any in this life" Aditha shrugged

"Well, I have two headaches in the form of human beings as my sister and brother. You are lucky " 

He laughed " I know you appreciate and love them despite their mischiefs, Chempaka. You seem like a very considerate person " 

"Nandini " 

"What?"

"You don't have to call me Chempaka anymore. You can call me Nandini, "she said softly.

"Nandini" He said it aloud as if testing to see how it sounded. " That's a beautiful name" 

Nandini was aware of a change in her feelings towards her friend. She started waiting for his arrival and reminiscing about their conversations afterwards. Even Kaveri caught on to her changed demeanor. "Akka, why are you smiling at the food? Are you thinking of someone? Am I going to have a brother in law soon?" She would tease, only to have Nandini box her ears for her cheekiness. But try as she may, she wasn't able to settle the butterflies in her stomach whenever he said her name. 

"Nandini, tell me, is there any backstory to your name?" Aditha asked once

" My father told me he thought of the name when he saw me for the first time" Nandini said

"He chose well. You really are a bringer of joy" He said with his signature smirk and Nandini tried not to let him see her blush. 

"What about you?" 

He let out a deep sigh " I remember my father telling me I was named after the late uncle of the current ruler, Aditha Karikalan. I have heard stories of how fierce a warrior he was and one day, I hope I can be a warrior just like him" then he turned towards her " I also remember there was a Nandini at that time. The Pazhavur Iliya Rani . People say she was the most beautiful woman to have walked the land. No one knows how she died though. Some say she passed away due to an illness, some say she was killed, others say she drowned herself" 

What has gotten into his mind? Nandini wondered. Comparing her to that of the enchanting Pazhavur Iliya Rani just because they share the same name. She looked back  to see he was gazing at her playfully. 

"What?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him

"You know, before she became Pazhavur Rani, Nandini Devi and Aditha Karikalan were rumoured to be lovers" Aditha continued, watching her expression.

"So?" 

"So.." He took a minute to grin at her before saying " Would this Nandini like to be the lover of this Aditha?" 

Her eyes widened as she processed what he just said. This time though she wasn't able to hide her blushing cheeks from him. Not giving an answer and thoroughly taken aback by his upfront manner, she did what she did best. Standing up and briskly walking off. 

"Nandini come back" She heard him laugh behind her "I was just teasing you, Chempaka"

To be continued…

@ramcharanobsessed @dumdaradumdaradum @vibishalakshman @thatacademic @hollogramhallucination @kovaipaavai @rang-lo . @willkatfanfromasia @thelekhikawrites @thegleamingmoon @deafeningflowercat @yehsahihai @whippersnappersbookworm @itsfookingloosah @gemsmusings @chiyaanvikram @elvenladysakura . @matka-kulfi . @madatdisney @bumblebeeskywalker @vahnithedreamer @nkarti @dosai-maavu @utterlynotperfect @winter-birds @happy-bookworm @tumbledout @anabanana4115 @freeunknownwasteland @bhataktiatmacore @rapunzels-stuff @celestesinsight @mairablue @rationalelderberry @existenceiswhateven @arachneofthoughts @spider5884fan11 @nirmohi-premika

[the-wales-5]

"Crazy for this girl" (Chapter 3)

The party of which Fergus was speaking at a rugby match had been organised on a Saturday evening. Prince William preferred to stay at St Salvator's Hall writing some assignments and already attempting to revise stuff before December. He wanted to stay as disciplined as possible. Another reason for his absence was clear: a need to stay alone after days overflowing with irritation towards almost all the students.

A white strap blouse, denim skirt, slightly seen makeup, and natural hair. Although it was not her intent, “beautiful Kate” captivated everyone again.

*

A group of students was standing in the queue to get “Venice and antiquity: the Venetian sense of the past” by Patricia Fortini Brown. Catherine was getting quite impatient as people were moving very slowly in the line. Normally, it would not affect her, but at that moment, she was taking a look at the watch every few seconds.

“I hope this one isn’t going to be as bad as the one about Greece”

Among the maze of quiet words and voices, that one brought her attention for some reason. Prince William just walked past her with a book in his hand “Your advice paid off, thanks”.

“I am glad to see you with the book,” she said and smiled a little.

“How was the party? There's no one to tell me details apart from Fergus from whom getting information is quite difficult if a gathering involves alcohol”

Catherine tried not to laugh “Well, it was an average night, full of drinks and dance. Nothing too good, honestly”

“I assumed that. Uhm, I noticed a book in your bag recently”

“A stolen one?” Catherine teased and caused him to chuckle

“No, not this time. One about Chile. It was my gap year destination”

“One of my gap year destinations as well.

Florence first, then Chile”

“We could talk about our experiences”

Catherine looked at the people in front of her, then at her watch once more “I don't think it is possible now..”

“Kate! I’ve got two copies, one for you!” Laura Warshaeur approached her at the same moment

“Oh, thank you! That’s so helpful for me”

“Go. He’s waiting outside for at least ten minutes”.

“Thanks. Oh, and see you tomorrow for our classes, Steve” she said, walking off.

The person waiting for her was Rupert Finch. The 4th-year law student and her boyfriend.

“You like her, don’t you?” Laura said when she noticed that William was looking at their friend

“She’s helped me recently, that’s all” He brushed off the topic.

~

“Where have you been?” Rupert asked his girlfriend right after she hugged him

“In the library, long queue”

“I hope this is the truth, Katie” he said and kissed her on the cheek

“Why wouldn’t it be true?” She rolled her eyes, but then Rupert put his hand around her, and they went to a restaurant nearby where Catherine got a job the week before.

***

Chapter 4

[a-feller]

When reading a book, watching a show or a movie, or even experiencing real life, I often find, when a major character or important person dies, I mourn, not so much the person but more their loved ones, the great bond lost and the incredible damage done to them. Over time, almost subconciously I have grown to value a great bond of love, lust, friendship, romance, great platonic love, or that weird sixth thing two inseperable stray cats have, almost as much as human knowledge, something I greatly revere. This is most prominent in fantasy worlds, where for certain there is some haven beyond the barrier of death, where a person and their knowledge can go to live in harmony after whatever happened to them. Yet leaving their loved ones behind for years to come, perhaps forever. Maybe it is more amplified in the real world, or universes like the star wars one and my belief of real life, where there is no life after death. Just nothing. All bonds severed by death's scythe in one fell swoop.

I will list an example for every book/tv show/movie I can. Spoilers ahead for: The Bad Batch, The Scythe series by Neal Shusterman, Harry Potter, Trials Of Apollo, The Six of Crows duology, The Lord of The Rings

The death of Tech, a clone from the bad batch. His close, paternal bond with Omega, shattered as he sacrificed himself before her eyes, the unrequited mutual love with the pirate lady whom he promised he would come back safely and of course the rest of the bad batch, now a gaping hole within their group.

The death of Tiger, the Best friend of Rowan in the scythe series, slain by people he was played by and his body contorted into a new one for Rowan's greatest enemy. Their friendship gone and spited by the monstosity created from his headless corpse.

The death of Sirius Black and the huge damage it did to Harry and Remus Lupin. Harry losing his first ever loving paternal figure he can remember and Lupin losing a dear best friend (or more considering what half of you post about)

The death of Jason Grace. Killed slowing down an unkillable enemy to save his friends and close-ex-lover Piper McLean, leaving behind at least a dozen dear friends who fought, battle after battle together, almost dying time and time again, only for him to fall far away, after it was meant to be over. And specifically Nico Di Angelo who as anyone who read the book will know had a priceless, unique friendship with him that simply could not be created with another.

The death of Matthias Hevlar, just beggining to fit in with the people around them and his romantic relationship just springing up with Nina, those bonds once again shattered, and the last thing he asked for was a kiss (hold up just gonna go cry for a second).

Edit: The edit is here for the smoothness of the post. I cannot believe I forgot. The very ones who inspired me to make this post in the first place. David and Genya from the Grishaverse and the King Of Scars duology. Another romantic one I'm aware however they had just had a wonderful ceremony, a proper marriage at last. And then David left to go do something and the city was attacked by bomber planes. He wasn't seen throughout the following fight until Genya noticed his absence at the end. They later pulled his body out of the rubble. Some ink Genya was fussing over still there. Queue the funeral, Genya, in private afterwards reads from his notebooks containing all the little things he picked up on that make her happy (hair, skin etc). I am genuinely tearing up just thinking about it. David was also a leader and a role model to the other Grisha, especially other fabrikators. Close friends with Nikolai and Zoya. All of these bonds gone.

The leaving of Frodo Baggins. This one is a little different as he isn't dead but to all of his friends but Gandalf and Bilbo, he is. Never able to be seen or contacted again, no way to hear or feel them either. Sam, who carried him up a mountain. Refused to leave his side ever. Pippin, Merry, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, All his shire friends, All the people they met along the way. Those bonds were shattered as if he was dead.

This last one is very different. It takes place in the real world. This death is obviously a thousand times more important then any of the others. A real human with thoughts, feelings and of course friends. This person is Technoblade. Funny, kind, skillful, he was friends with pretty much everyone he played with, best friends with those like Philza and of course the people around him in real life. The innumerable amount of people he either just made laugh, or helped get through some really dark times. Like me. 10 million people. Bonds reasonably one way but still there. 10 million people. Bonds snapped like rubber bands. All his friends. Online and off. Those he helped, those he inspired. All grieving with that bond suddenly a gaping hole, all lost. o7 Techno. Fly high.

Edit: I cannot believe I forgot. The very ones who inspired me to make this post in the first place,

[coridotmp3]

thanks for the tag, cori! your wip titles are immaculate. I absolutely must know about 99.3 kiss fm, jason sudeikis must pay, and mickey mouse the matchmaker.

:) thank you darling !!

99.3 KISS FM

This one's a college! bob floyd x reader !! bob, reader (nickname: cherry, pronouns: they/them), and various other daggers work the late shift at their college's radio station!! there's just endless amounts of mutual pining, a dash of miscommunication, and so many song references that only i will understand <3

have a little taste:

As the studio filled with the slow strums of “Trust” by Lucy Dacus, you made sure your mic was off before turning to the blob on the couch across from you. 

“Was that still too wordy? I’m really trying to take Penny’s note about brevity to heart but how else am I supposed to fill time?” 

Bob’s eyes shot up from where they had been focused on his laptop, composing his next setlist for the shift after yours. “I don’t think it was wordy but I think your pacing is more of an issue here. You literally said take a breath, but talked too fast to take one yourself. You’ll sound less like you’re rambling if you just slow down, speak with confidence.”

"If I had realized this job would be so stressful, I never would have begged Penny to let me sign up." You pouted, slumping in the desk chair as much as you could without falling off.

“Cherry, you’re fine! It’s not like the 12 people listening to a college radio station are gonna be concerned with your takes between songs. Not when you have the best song queue out of the whole lineup bar one.”

“If that one is you, I’m gonna smack you upside the head, Bo. I’m not listening to a whole night of The Cars, not again.”

“You love The Cars!”

“Yeah, in moderation! Not when I have to hear “My Best Friend’s Girl” eight times in a row at 2 in the morning!”

“I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about you, obviously you have no taste.”

jason sudeikis must pay aka the hangster sleeping with other people au

two lonely souls in college agree to lose their virginities to each other, only to spend the next ten years having very strained relationships with sex. When they meet again in a sex addicts support group, Jake and Bradley decide to use their renewed friendship to help each other heal. Maybe, in more ways than one. (and also rhett abbott is there because i needed a scapegoat thank you <3)

something to whet your appetite:

"He came through every few weeks on one of his bull riding tours or to meet with vendors. He never stayed more than a night before he went back to her, and I was left with this profound emptiness in his absence.

I let myself get wrapped up in his world. I deluded myself with these fantasies that one day he would stay. All I wanted was for him to stay. I just wanted to be enough for him, so I broke myself apart into something I thought he would want. There's no telling how much of me I lost pursuing that pipe dream.

"Must have been a pretty good pipe to string you along like this for the past ten years."

"Oh shut up, Bradshaw."

"No, I'm serious! What, is it ten inches? Is it made of gold? Can it vibrate? What about him and his magical two foot long dick had you so spellbound?"

mickey mouse the matchmaker

this one is soooooo very self-indulgent. it's bob x mickey's cousin (x reader for now but that is subject to change). BASICALLY, mickey and bob have been good friends since their OCS training in Rhode Island all those years ago. While they were stationed in Newport, Mickey and Bob would go and visit Mickey's cousin while she was in school in Providence. Bob and the cousin got along like a house on fire, but were both too scared to do anything about it (even though mickey knows they both want to). Fast forward a few years, and she moves out to San Diego where the daggers are now stationed. AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, READER NEEDS A PLACE TO LIVE AND BOB HAS AN EXTRA ROOM !! Mickey's masterplan is all coming together

(there's no excerpt for this one because the whole fic is just various one-liners strung together with a wish and a prayer)

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR WIPS DARLING !!!

[hanniiesuckle17]

Chapter 29: Alexa, Play Now or Never

A/n: so sorry guys! I said I was gonna get back on schedule but I had a friend emergency on Friday night and couldn’t queue the next chapter!! We shall be on schedule this week! Tag List is Open <3

Tag List: @mini-meanhoe​​​​​​​ @leggomylino​​​​​​​ @hanstagram​​​​​​​ @desertofdessert​​​​​​​ @hoes4hoseok​​​​​​​ @jeonqqin​​​​​​​ @mrsunshine999​​​​​​​ @jisungsjheekies​​​​​​​ @hannie-squirrel00​​​​​​​ @cotccotc​​​​​​​ @yangs-jeongin​​​​​​​ @binniebutter​​​​​​​ @orangegyu​​​​​​​ @little-precious-baby​​​​​​​​ @raethethey​​​​​​​​ @sofie296​​​​​​​​ @love-letters-2-jisungie​​​​​​​​ @bluejayboys​​​​​​​  @jaycheoluwu​​​​​​​​

SMIY Tag List: @sanccharine​​​ @txt-yaomi​​​ @lyramundana​​​ @jo-hwaberry​​​ @butterfliesinthenightsky​​​ @billboard-singer​​​​ @exololyunho​​​

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader    

Genre: Series, Fluff, Angst, Comedy, Idol au, Secret Relationship

Updates: Saturday 9 AM CDT (Hopefully)

Warnings: Cursing, Privacy Invasion, Dieting, Overworking, 18+Themes (eventually), Intense threats, Mention of suicide, Mention of violence

Summary: Privacy. Normalcy. Love. Y/n was ready to give all of that up when she became an idol. She was more than happy with the absence of those qualities in her life until a certain six foot mountain of sunshine and chaos was cast opposite her in her first drama. Confronted with the fact that she no longer knows what she wants; Y/n must decide if he’s truly worth giving up the life she’s dreamed of…and how much damage she’ll let happen before she makes a decision.

✭

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SMIY M.List

Masterlist

[melody-han-wayne]

(OOC: Update + Apology—Long Post)

So I've been pretty much non-existent for the past 4 months or so BUT I can explain!

Basically what happened is that I emigrated to not just a different country, but a different continent on literally the other side of the world from where I grew up. And I left behind all my friends and family at home, meaning I came here alone and I'm still alone and probably will be alone for as long as I remain in this new country. So for the past few months I've been dealing with moving and settling down and making plans to secure my future in this new country—heck, just making sure I can have a future in this new country. I'm more or less settled into my new life now (except for the planning for the future part) but before that I kind of forgot about Melody for a while 🫥

So anyway the guilt ate away at my subconscious and Melody's voice came to me in a dream and berated me for abandoning her, so I woke up and quickly came to check on my baby. And I realise, to my utter mortification and horror, that I never paused my Tumblr queue, so all the half-baked ideas, the rough drafts, the tentative-but-not-in-chronological-order character development, had been posting itself while I was away 🫠. So if during the past 5 months you saw my blog degenerate into a bigger and bigger mess and wondered "What the heck is going on"—it's not you, it's me. Right now I'm just trying to salvage what I can of my blog (and my dignity) and reorganise everything I originally planned for Melody (tbh I forgot half of it but I'm sure the memories are in here somewhere, I just have to clean out the dust and oil the gears first).

Honestly I have no idea how many people follow(ed) Melody's story, I might as well be posting into the void for all I know. But like so many of the other RPers on this blog I started because I was bored and had some ideas in my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and over time I became attached to my OC and her story (perhaps unhealthily so). That's part of the reason why I decided not to just delete my blog and make my absence permanent. Because working on this self-indulgent project used to make me happy, and because I still have some ideas I want to share with whoever might be lurking around. Another reason is because of the community that welcomed me and that I personally watched grow. Even when this blog was at its 'most active' I probably didn't interact with other RPers as much as I should/could have (again, it's not you, it's me) but what little interaction we did have I truly did enjoy as we built and connected our own stories and characters while also interpreting the DC ones. I don't think I've said this before, and I don't think I'll ever say it enough, but really, thank you all for being willing to indulge me and play with me. This has been a lovely space to be in, and you guys combined are like 80% of the reason ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@florence-wayne-official @kit-the-nonbinary-wayne @that-one-gotham-kid @amira-wayne-al-ghul @warren-wayne-kyle @teagrayson + anyone I missed, knowing the rate at which this community grows there's bound to be at least one person I didn't tag (it's not a snub—again, not you, it's me and my bad memory—please don't be offended 🥺)

((idk if tagging everyone is proper etiquette after my prolonged absence, I was just going to say 'you know who you are' at first and leave it at that but I'm not sure if you guys actually know who you are 😅 so if I'm breaking some kind of unspoken Tumblr code of etiquette I apologise again))

(((I didn't mean for that above note to sound as rude as it did)))

ANYWAYS if you've read past the wall of text above to make it down here congratulations and thank you, I'll be doing my best to clean up/revise my blog and my OC and her story in the coming weeks and hopefully get some sort of continuity back on track :) I'm also trying to figure out what happened in the rest of the RP community in my absence so if I reply to a three-month-old post now: once again, it's not you, it's me, and there's totally no obligation to engage with.

Can't wait to hang out with the Batfamily again ☺️ plus all my RP siblings, half-siblings, future siblings, stepsiblings, undead siblings etc XD

[whumpy-daydreams]

Lunch privileges

Masterlist

Previous Next

CW: implied minor whump, threats

“Congratulations scrub, you’ve got privileges.”

Rowena looked up from her book, confused. Two guards in the door, with a pair of handcuffs never usually meant good news and she had been expecting lunch.

“What privileges?”

“Lunch with the others. Against the wall yadda yadda yadda.” She knew what he meant and stood facing the wall, hands crossed behind her back as they secured the handcuffs.

The guards gripped her arms tightly and they frogmarched her out of her cell, down several corridors and down in a lift until they reached a queue of people surrounded by guards. Rowena got to skip the line, her own guards leading her into a large canteen scattered with tables all secured to the floor.

She was sat on an empty table near the wall, her handcuffs rearranged so that one hand was attached to the table, leaving the other free to eat. One guard positioned himself by the wall while the other went over to the food counter to get her food. Trust obviously only went so far.

“Wow, table service.” Rowena smiled as a plate was unceremoniously dumped in front of her. For some reason, it surprised her that it was the same that she normally got: some kind of sandwich and whatever vegetables were on the menu that day.

The other inmates spoke quietly, a few glancing at her with curiosity and caution. Rowena had almost finished half of her ham sandwich before anyone sat at her table. A group of three people around the same age as her, all just as cautious as everyone else. They watched her for a few seconds before sitting down.

“Hi… I’m Emma. I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before?” One of the girls said. She had a fringe that had grown too long and kept escaping from behind her ears and a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“No, I, uh, usually eat in my room,” Rowena answered, all too aware of the guards watching her.

“Oh. You’re high security then?”

“I guess. How long have you been here?” 

“Five years. Transferred from juvie when I turned eighteen.” Emma looked at the other two. “Shaan transferred a year after me, but Dani’s only been here about six months.”

Rowena didn’t say anything. Five years? It was a wonder she was still alive.

“What about you?” Shaan - the only boy at the table - asked.

“Not sure. Four months maybe?” she suddenly remembered she had never told them her name. “I’m Rowena by the way, but call me Ro.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ro. How’d you end up here anyway?”

“I got arrested but a deal was made and they moved me here. You said you got transferred from juvie? I thought most sentences ended when you left?” Emma laughed.

“Not that kind of juvie. It was like this place just for teenagers - except we had lessons and slightly more freedom. I got taken there after I lost control at school. Shaan’s parents sent him there when they found out he was mavori.”

“Wait, so how old were you?”

“I was twelve,” Shaan said.

“Fifteen.”

~~~

Finally, Rowena had something to look forward to. The half-hour lunch became a highlight of the day, and she soon found herself becoming friends with Emma, Shaan, and Dani. Dani took a little longer to open up but eventually, even she began to smile just a little.

It was helped, of course, by Rudy’s absence. He’d been away for two weeks, probably beating the shit out of some poor soul, but unfortunately, Rowena knew he’d be back sooner or later.

~~~

“-and it landed straight in his face. Mashed potato everywhere.” Shaan’s face went bright red as Emma recounted a story from their days together in juvie, Rowena and Dani trying not to laugh too loudly.

It was about halfway through lunch, the eighth Rowena had had in the canteen, and the first time she’d laughed properly in weeks. Empty plates were stacked at the end of the table, out of the way in case Emma made one of her dramatic movements and sent them flying onto the floor. This was, Rowena had been told, a regular occurrence.

Everything seemed good. Until the canteen slowly went quiet.

She noticed it in Dani’s face first: the way it fell into stoic fear. Even Emma’s usually happy countenance couldn’t mask that something wasn’t right. Rowena turned round.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath. Sauntering oh so confidently towards her, was Rudy. 

Turning back quickly, she tried to calm her suddenly quickened breaths, muscles tense in anticipation. Clearly, it wasn’t just her that had been tormented by the cocky bastard. 

A heavy hand landed on her shoulder and Shaan quickly moved away from her up the bench. Rudy sat down in the space he had left.

“Long time no see. Did you miss me?” His grin was annoying as ever.

“Funnily enough - no.” Rowena turned to look him in the eye, suppressing the shiver that ran down her spine.

“What a shame. Glad to see you made some friends! Although it might make me jealous.” The threat wasn’t well hidden. “Don’t worry, I’m just here to say hi.” He patted Rowena on the cheek and stood up, seeming to leave before he turned back for a second.

“By the way, the doctor has a new test she wants to try out. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

It took a few minutes after he’d left before people started to relax, and even then the conversation was muted. Rowena’s table stayed quiet for even longer. Eventually, Emma spoke up.

“I guess we won’t see you tomorrow then?”

[treesap-blogs]

Happy Saturday, everyone! Here’s a review of “The Witchery” by S. Isabelle!

Hello, Tumblrians! I just realized I never did a review of this book on my actual account, only tying it to the confines of my Instagram Close Friends List! So I’ll be getting this out to the best of my ability, in a manner still respecting the weekly schedule because so far that’s been working out well! Maybe I’ll integrate a weekly schedule for posting art, too, because truthfully I’d love to scream about my blorbos and maybe some OCs(..no guarantee about that second thing though I find it a struggle to write ones not for venting) into the areas of Tumblr where people would be interested in hearing about it!

That got unrelated pretty fast! Sorry! What I’d like to add on before the actual review itself kicks off though is that I wanted to add some more spooky stuff to my reading queue, and when I saw this book on a display inside a library I read the summary and just decided to go for it! Magic witch schools? Horror elements? Shit, I’m in, just off of that alone. I didn’t have much knowledge prior to that lmao.

This book was a pretty interesting read overall! The first 50 or so pages were kind of rough, though, because I figured out very quickly just how many POVs we were dealing with here. The thing was though, because they were told in third-person omniscient, they didn’t have very different voices; I found the change in POV was mainly for convenience of a location, not for that specific person’s thoughts/feelings. (Basically: plot/premise carried, characters were moreso a vessel for it.) That’s not to say that there was a complete absence of character voices, though, because I had read enough of them to be sufficiently annoyed at Logan every time it was one of her chapters! She had the least interesting of the backgrounds for the characters, and she frequently whined about not being special or not wanting to be called a “baby witch”. Seriously, take a shot every time you read “baby witch” in her chapters specifically and you’d die of alcohol poisoning. I hated how she fell in love with Theodore immediately and literally betrayed the group’s plan just for him (which..fine I get there’s a reason for that later on that’s spoiler-y, still annoying though), and how she had such a “so pick me!! choose me!! love me!!” vibe to her😐. (Theodore and Logan also just didn’t work as a romance. I couldn’t see the chemistry, it was just so annoying and felt like a pointless romance subplot added just for an internal conflict.) I saw Ms Woc Reader on Goodreads and her blog comment that the book would’ve worked better if Thalia and Iris were the only two POVs, since they were the most rounded-out and had the most to expand on, and I agree with that! They kicked off basically all of the plot elements, had the most interesting backstories, and then we wouldn’t have to deal with the other main issue of having all the POVs, which is that the white characters were centered too frequently for a book with a mainly black cast. Hopefully this is something fixed in the second book, as S. Isabelle will have many chances to grow from this being her debut book.

The pacing also felt a bit wonky, like there were too many events for just this book alone. I saw many reviewers talk about this being packed for a standalone, and although there’s a sequel that was announced to be out in September of this year, I wonder if it was just meant to be a standalone at first? It definitely explains why it was paced the way it was. And if a second book just for this specific plot wouldn’t work, maybe The Witchery should’ve been longer, but I could also see how that could be a lot to get a publisher to send out. My knowledge of the actual business is little, but the longer a book is, the more expensive the publishing price is, and there’s probably some business reasons to do with the final product’s results as well.

To S. Isabelle’s credit, though, this was something that worked in her favor for the climax, because it meant that chapters went by quick enough to have fast-paced action. That was something I did enjoy during my read! (And Logan did finally step up when she got her shit kicked in with about 50 pages left, not to say I like her but it was the only time she legitimately contributed to the group.)

The friend group also didn’t have as much of the dynamic their characters probably should with their closeness to each other, presumably due to the POV problem. 

I did like Vero and Jailah’s history! I’m a sucker for drama, their moderate toxicity was very interesting to read and I wish we actually got to see Vero in the ending rather than just have her be mentioned in passing. How does she process being helped after all of that time? Does she forgive Jailah? Will she understandably never be able to? She just appeared for the truth serum acquiring, was mentioned in passing and never appeared again. A lot of the parts of the plot were wrapped up suddenly, actually. 

Another thing I liked was the horror elements present! But although things got a little bloody and spookier towards the end, I do wish the story felt a little more twisted? It felt very tame by horror standards, despite the genre. But then again this is a YA, I don’t know how much someone can breach the boundaries until they have to rebrand their book. The witch school also felt generic, there weren't many identifying factors about it other than it being sort of creepy? That was basically all lmao.

Overall verdict!: Plot was interesting(albeit the twists could be easily predicted by a frequent YA reader), characters not as much but they could’ve had potential if the chapters weren’t structured how they were and this story was long enough to give the plot a chance to breathe. 

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars.

Paz, signing off!

(Book trigger/content warnings: Most are mentioned inside, but include frequent self-harm(typically involving pricking a thumb, although there’s one instance of slicing a hand with a knife, all instances are just for sacrificial and spell purposes), blood and gore, body horror and mentions of religious trauma.)

[storybookprincess]

I posted 4,808 times in 2022

569 posts created (12%)

4,239 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

chubsthehamster

kilruas

kirishimasmom

mikiyu

aslaanjade

I tagged 4,807 of my posts in 2022

#ur a queue tie! - 2,874 posts

#fanart - 2,022 posts

#hxh - 714 posts

#asked and answered - 329 posts

#anonymous - 295 posts

#killugon - 250 posts

#gpoy - 234 posts

#fandom - 183 posts

#art - 179 posts

#sailor moon - 173 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

4,686 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#4

HELP we had a woman in the library just now CLEARLY reading from a list of books being targeted for censorship in public & school libraries (presumably so she can read them & turn around to bitch about how they’re corrupting the children & need to be removed) & me, being an utter shit, checked out looking for alaska & the perks of being a wallflower for her, gave her a big smile and went “oh wow, you have GREAT taste—these were two of my favorites in high school!!!!!!” (which is true) and she looked like she bit into a lemon

listen she didn’t say why she was checking them out so i can only assume it’s due to her love of excellent 90s & 2000s ya fiction 😇😇😇😇

10,443 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

put your number (0-20) in the tags!!!!!! i think i got 14!!

anyone who comments that finding ways to enjoy the brief time we have on this bitch of an earth is cringey will be blocked ^_^ <3

19,031 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

#2

not to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being sincere on the internet, but your presence matters to people & your absence is felt in ways you can’t possibly realize

i have a standing bi-weekly appointment for a medical treatment, and i ended up missing a few appointments in a row for various reasons. and when i came back to the infusion center earlier this week, the nurses couldn’t stop saying that they really missed me & were wondering why i hadn’t been in

it had never occurred to me that i was anything more than a job duty to them. it never occurred to me that they’d miss seeing me, even though i know that i miss seeing regular library patrons & wonder where they are when they’re away. i just never put two & two together that way

so yes, people would notice if you disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow. yes, people smile to themselves when you walk in the door. yes, your presence matters to far more people than you realize

20,447 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

about to drop literally the sickest insider knowledge you will ever receive pls use it responsibly:

are you a teenager? do you wish you had the space & resources & organization to do a thing, whether that's an anime club or a movie night or a big craft workshop or creative writing group or literally whatever? would you like to do your thing totally for free? yes?

okay, then bring it up to a librarian

seriously, teenagers are the absolute hardest group to engage at most libraries & we'll often organize programs that absolutely no one will show up to & it sucks. if you go up to a public librarian & say "hey, some friends & i want to do this thing. does that sound like a feasible teen program for the library?" most people will move heaven & earth to pull it off for you because we know there's an interest in our community. we will go balls to the freaking wall to make it happen

do you want a cosplay contest? a video game tournament? a free escape room? bring it up to the library. it's not a burden or an annoyance at all. it'll be like christmas came early for us

52,682 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[macaroonv]

Hatsukoi~~❤️

Slowly, slowly, never truly realizing what it meant, I fell for someone.

A fair boy with dark hair, chiseled jaw, a lean body and charismatic personality. The first time, I just took a glance. After that he was all I could see everywhere. Oh, what a sweet and innocent feeling it was. The day I realized that these feelings were not just a mere crush, it hurt. Because, it was wrong in so many ways. He belonged to some other caste and he wouldn't even bat an eye towards me. I was just another classmate for him. But I guess, we really can't help who we fall for. After I came to terms with my feelings, I just enjoyed looking at him and daydreaming. 

But these happy times didn't last. He found a girlfriend who was on another level and I couldn't even compare to her. I guess he likes those types of girls- hot, tall and sexy. I was never in line. I guess I experienced my first heartbreak that day. Oh, no it was on the day he confessed to my friend. Yeah, she was not even hot and sexy like his current girlfriend but he still liked her. See, I was never in line. I was not even a dot. 

Silly me would wait for those mere seconds of his teasing everyday like a dog just because my heart thought that in those moments he was thinking of me and talking to me. Maybe he knew. Everytime, I would go inside the class thinking that today I'll start ignoring him only to be wishing that he'd talk to me.

I guess falling for someone is the most beautiful yet a heartbreaking feeling. Yeah, I loved him even after he was taken. I couldn't help it. My eyes would find him in a crowd, brain would stop functioning in his presence and would only think about him in his absence. So, how could I stop these feelings from growing. I couldn't find other boys interesting because they were not him. I listened to love songs daily and imagined me and him dancing together. Imagined him confessing his love to me. It was so beautiful and sad at the same time because these were all the things that would never happen. What a joke.

Once, he held my hand for a minute ( It was a dare. I guess everyone in the class knew about my "silly crush".) When his hand held mine in his, it was like time stopped. I couldn't breathe properly and I couldn't even look at him. My face became so hot. I was blushing hard. It was just a minute but it felt like I spent a year sitting there holding his hand. That day, I thanked heavens for that moment. I wondered, if a mere hand-holding could provoke these reactions, what would happen if he ever said " I love You ". I guess I'll faint at the spot.*giggles*

Do you know about the Kabedon thing- preventing someone from moving by putting the hand on the wall and caging them between your hands. So well, one day we were making a queue for going to the ground. I don't know what happened, but one second he was having an arguement and in another he got pushed backwards toward me. As I was avoiding crashing into him, I also pulled back but my back reached the wall. And suddenly, he was there right in front of me, his back was facing me at that time. A mere inch. That's how much distance was between us. I stopped breathing in case I ruined whatever was happening. Suddenly, he turned and now his face was what was facing me. He put his hands on the wall behind me to gain balance. 5 seconds. He was looking down at me and I was looking up at him.4 seconds. 3 seconds. We both locked eyes. 2 seconds. I guess he muttered an apology and went away. 1 second. I couldn't comprehend what had happened. I didn't know how I stopped myself from falling down but I didn't fall. Just 5 seconds. We stayed in that position for just 5 seconds but it felt like someone set the time to slow motion. It all happened so slowly. Even now I could remember it clearly. His back. His face. His hands. 1 cm. 5 seconds. Oh, god that was the closest we've ever been. I could never forget that moment. It could not be called a Kabedon but for me it was the same anyway. 

He was short tempered but he had a kind heart. He was handsome in his own way. His fair skin didn't bother me a bit. His grades were average but he was smart. He was cool and had a good sense of humor. He played badminton and loved football. I started not minding non-vegetarians after meeting him. He was liked by all. I guess he was popular. I didn't know he was rich even until my second last year in school. I guess I didn't care about his riches. I saw his good and bad both. I guess I loved him for who he was. The person I fell for had all these quirks and this persona. I'm really grateful that the first person I ever loved was him. He taught me love and heartbreak. This unrequited love of mine was what taught me what it really meant to love someone. 

I just wish that I could have have had my first kiss with him. Even just a peck would have been fine. I would have remembered it my whole life. But this love was sweet and innocent. It wasn't demanding and it didn't need to be reciprocated to be worthy. It didn't care about others, it just happened unexpectedly and turned into something so sweet and beautiful. I could have never known that I would ever experience something like this. 

Those 4 years that I spent truly thinking about him and loving him were something that I would want to relive again and again. Though I'm still not over him completely but it's not the same. It's still true that I haven't found someone else like him. Well, no one could be him beacuse he was he and others could never be him but I've moved on because it was never meant to be. It was never meant to happen in the first place. But it just happened and I'll just get over him. I just want to take a look at him in person one last time to get a closure on these feelings. 

He's not with that girl anymore but I heard he cried after she broke up with him. I was so sad after hearing this wishing that it should've been me who he cried for. I guess they too weren't meant to be. Now, I just hope thay we both find someone we are meant to be with. I hope to meet him again and try being friends atleast. I want to tell him about my silly little crush. I know what it was. But he'll never know. 

May everyone experience a love like this, once in their life and I hope their first love becomes their last. I hope the person they truly fall for reciprocates their feelings. And if they do not, worry not because it was just not meant to be but be happy you got to experience those feelings and that you have someone else waiting for you in their life.

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Leaf

Okay I'm like a week late, but Leaf got her grid expansion! I also...somehow never talked about her before ever? Despite being one of my earliest EX, and one of a handful of Kanto characters I respect, and kind of a big deal protagonist for me personally.

General Overview Leaf and Eevee are Sycamore-esque, in that they're one of three pairs in the game whose sync does not deal damage, but rather provides beneficial effects. In Leaf's case, this effect is +2 to all five core stats and accuracy, which is by no means bad, but also isn't Sycamore capping three relevant stats. Leaf is, as you might imagine, a little slow and kinda crap at CS, because of how long it takes her to accomplish much. Iron Tail was a wholly useless decision that's okay for memes, and her Trainer Move is basically Lance's without the recoil, in that it accomplishes nothing but gauge generation. I assume this made sense back in the day.

Leaf's primary utility was Potion. She's a rare F2P adjacent pair with Double Potion MPR, and the coveted Friend Mend to remove status. In addition, MGR9 and Staggering on Tackle allows for some nice plays. With addition tech options like Recuperation for stall and Adrenaline for offense, Leaf's grid honestly salvages a lot of what made her life rough. It was only ever the stats that were a problem, and as time moved forward, more and more pairs do that thing where they hit +4/+3 in one action, and wouldn't you know it Leaf tops them all off perfectly.

Which is why Leaf's grid expansion is rather. Strange. It's entirely focused on her otherwise useless trainer move, granting +1 Atk, +1 Sp Atk, and +1 crit. She's basically Kiawe now, complete with Double Potion MPR, but lacking his defense debuffs. Her final node is just Reflect on entry, but these kinds of skills are usually bad, as the shields wear off right in time to deny any chance at a quad queue. Her expansion helps with worse setup pairs, improving her offense boosting to +4/+2, but notably, nothing gets capped without MPR, which is an expensive ask on an already tight grid. You can give up MGR9 without too much issue, but it's really the loss of Recuperation and Adrenaline that hits.

EX and Move Level? Leaf is downright bad without 3/5. She accomplishes far too little to stand out. As for EX, it's up to you, but personally I think that, in absence of serious buffing capability, her sync move may as well be doing as much as it can, so I encourage it.

Team 1: Leaf, Ghetsis I'm going to start out talking about Leaf's greatest strength: Gauntlet. Leaf has such tremendous healing potential, backed by a solid stat boost from sync, that she carries a lot. Universally, Ghetsis is her ideal duo partner on an F2P budget. His ability to Double Drop offenses makes them basically invincible, and Leaf's sync giving +2 accuracy ensures that Glaciate hits. Ghetsis' own expansion also makes him really self-sufficient, so all he needs is the +2 Sp Atk. Lastly, Ghetsis can grid Hostile Environment to take on the many options that need status in play, expanding their options. There are a handful of stages they don't handle, with Regirock, Moltres, and Uxie being prime among them. But note they are a duo. Moltres and Uxie can be handled with the right third. Regirock is a bad matchup for Ghetsis, don't try.

Team 2: Leaf, SC Steven, Gladion People talked a lot about C!Red, who grants SEUN to Gladion for good damage on any stage. This is true! What they don't tell you is that with this expansion and an MPR, Leaf can fill in as more F2P option. She provides everything Gladion needs with this expansion just fine, while SC Steven is providing the ideal debuffs and setup for any CS stage. With Leaf's Adrenaline, you're always on course for second sync before the foe's first, which is exactly what Gladion needs.

Team 3: Leaf, NY Dawn, Victrier/Lucian When small, incremental boosts are discussed, I have to talk about NY Dawn. She doubles all received buffs, and can really appreciate Leaf giving +4 to effectively every stat. Victrier gets the Zone up as needed, but honestly, pick Lucian for the debuffs. Because I also want to highlight, Lucian can receive a ton of benefits from Leaf having just one MPR, covering the crit rate and +5 Sp Atk from Leaf alone while he's debuffing.

Team 4: Leaf, C!Iris, Colress/NC Nate Leaf's expansion allows for +2 crit and +4 Atk, which is exactly what Champion Iris needs to get to her maximum potential. Colress having the ability to debuff defenses in an AoE pattern is also huge for her damage, kicking off both high damage and her multipliers. Or you can throw NC Nate at the problem and really live it up.

Team 5: Leaf, SS Leaf, NC Leaf The Leafening is a solution I've used for a lot of Kanto Extreme Battles lately. It requires a bit of investment, but they're really fun. There's just so much healing being thrown around, with base Leaf having the ability to heal off status on her own Potion, and NC Leaf having spectrum debuffs at the ready. There's also a decent amount of ramping potential here, with base Leaf's Adrenaline and SS Leaf's TM (and also Adrenaline 2). With cake role, you get two Support syncs as well, which is fun for damage purposes. They're a really sturdy and potent combo, and base Leaf's expansion now permits a maximizing of SS Leaf for situations where it's necessary.

Final Thoughts Despite being a smaller improvement overall, that quite a few people considered underwhelming, I think base Leaf's expansion gave her a lot more flexibility to work with. The inclusion of crit rate isn't always significant in the modern era, but its inclusion on Leaf specifically is valuable, as it allows her greater synergy with older pairs that need more support, while the basic +2 off her sync covers for most modern fare. And her defensive profile and tremendous Potion healing keeps her eternally relevant in Gauntlet contexts. Leaf maintains a very solid niche in the general pool as one of its best, which is personally very gratifying.