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#for the 1st ome idk how i feel abt rhe freshly 21 part that feels OFF
zenims · 5 years
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broken family / shards of vulnerability / unheard apologies
#❌ reblog#snw#the numbers are there bc like . these are all connected but i didnt know how to piece them all together to make sense as one LOL#so i just broke them up into three separate pieces :3#bc i want to talk ill explain lol#for the 1st ome idk how i feel abt rhe freshly 21 part that feels OFF#but yeah i realized recently#like i was trying to think back to my childhood bc my therapist and i decided that were goijg to process trauma to work on my depression an#i . could barely remember anything like only bits and pieces and a lot of them are unpleasant. i didnt fully realize until now that thats .#not good . then it made me re? realize that our childhood was not gr8.... with the separation of our parents and my mom being who she is...#like maybe i didnt realize it bc i was a kid + vv oblivious LOL . and w my therapist when id tell her some things i knew they were bad but#part of me would still doubt myself. it wasnt until she clearly stated that the things i went through were bad that i was like ah .#the 1.5 is about my brother LIKE in therapy i fully realized that we were both fucked up by our mom and that hes started to develop some of#her toxic behavior and im jjst like fuck :) amongst other problems hes dev bc of my mom and im judt like ffff i want him to go i want him t#go to therapy !!! but i feel like he wouldnt listen to me and i know whg he wouldnt like i understand . he doesnt rlly show his emotions an#so im sure being vulnerable must be hard but !!! aaaa#and the 1.75 is abt him too i just. want to fight my mom for all shes put us through esp him i feel like hes had it so rough yet she doesn'#care at all doesnt see any wrongdoings in her actions and will probably never apologize for all the damage shes caused
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