#for some reason tumblr decided to destroy my inbox so i lost any of the asks i hadnt answered yet im sorry guys

[10yrratiolover]

some more Ratio headcanons since I can't make a more in depth post just yet!

I think he'd sleep with several pillows, he likes to think it's to help with proper positioning/skeletal & muscle support but he actually just likes having multiple

This one might make less sense since it's a liiittle protection-y but I think he'd prefer smaller rooms over bigger ones, bigger rooms feel more overwhelming since it feels like he sort of has to make use of all the space (idk how to explain it proper I just like being crushed in smaller spaces, I'm like the opposite of claustrophobic)

Big fan of birds I think, besides the owl motifs of his actual character

As a kid he didn't like playing with other kids that much since they 'didn't play right' and it would upset him when things went off his mental script

Used to be really insecure about his appearance as a kid/teen, he never really got over it he just stopped caring since he had bigger issues to deal with

He keeps and finds a use for every single gift he's gotten from one of his students, still uses a #1 Teacher mug he got like 7 years ago

He remembers all his students, regardless of if they ended up passing or failing, some of them come and visit him every once in a while to catch up

He's a plant mom and he takes great care of them

Has several things that are basically only used for one thing since he likes the routine of it (ex. he only drinks at certain type of tea out of this one specific mug, no other mug will do.)

Nobody can convince me he doesn't sleep naked, fancy/expensive pajamas be damned

Never thought hard enough about his sexuality since he had bigger issues, but I think he'd be asexual and either sex positive or neutral on the idea on actually having sex

I think he'd own a cat, she's named Vela after the constellation, she's absolutely spoiled to heaven and back

[ksmutty]

Update

Hey guys this is probably going to be a bit long, but with the flood of messages in the inbox I felt I should say something, so I’m going to add a read more if you’re curious and if not continue about your lovely day scrolling through.

Also, Trigger warnings ahead.

I wanted to explain some things and bring a bit of reassurance.

I wont be giving up the blog or deleting any content or anything like that. I think or more-so, I know that i’ve been experiencing an all time low. I’ve gone through more this year than I can even comprehend at this point and I’ve truly felt like I have nothing to live for anymore. I don’t want anybody to freak out, I’m okay. I’m not going to do anything stupid. The emotions have passed for the time, but I do want to explain a bit of what’s been going on.

In April I up and left everything I know and love and moved across the country with my best friend so she could go to school and I could live in the same place as my s/o at the time. It was an amazing experience and so full of life lessons but ultimately, it was a fail. Not only did I end up losing my best friend, my apartment, most of my belongings, and the one of only two people I knew in this new and giant city, but ultimately I lost myself somewhere in between. I got so homesick and cried all day every single day and laid around feeling completely lost and alone and luckily I had an amazing support system here and because of you guys on Tumblr I was able to raise enough money to come back home with nothing but my cat and the things I could fit in my car.

When I got home I realized that I was in absolutely no way able to maintain a relationship when I couldn’t even get myself out of the slump I was living in and ultimately our breakup led to a lot of people hating me. People that I thought were really good friends of mine and once again I was left feeling alone and like I had nothing. My entire support system was ripped out from beneath my feet. I moved in with a very verbally abusive alcoholic and started taking care of her teenagers and trying to help them to cope with their moms addiction but it became way too much and one day my dad called me and asked me to move in with him. He was also struggling with addiction to alcohol, and I felt that’s where I needed to be. I needed to save my dad.

I was there for three weeks and I was miserable, and again I was alone and taking on another persons addiction and all the belligerence, abuse, and vomit that came with it. I spent most of my time hiding in the basement and trying to avoid my dad and feeling sorry for myself and then he died. We still don’t have the answers from toxicology of his cause of death but I carry a lot of guilt for the way i acted towards him and the way i neglected him. In my heart I know that my dad died feeling alone and unloved and that a large part of that was because of me, the person he trusted to come back into his life and help me. I truly can’t let go of the thought that I killed him by simply not loving him loud enough.

Thats what this all comes down to. I keep telling myself repeatedly that it should’ve been me. That if anyone needed to die and escape this miserable fuckery of life, that it shouldve been me. I still get really fucking angry that it wasn’t and not a single word in any language will ever convince me that I didn’t play a role in my dads death. Everything hurts. All the time, it just hurts. I don’t know how to cope with any of this which is surprising because Ive been surrounded by death and addiction my whole life and I should know by now how to pick myself up and move forward but I cant. 

I’m failing at being a mother. I’m failing at my job. I’m failing in every aspect of my life because I don’t have the will or the motivation to do the things I want/need to do and I have nobody to lean on. I have one friend in the real world and to be frank, she’s not the greatest person to me a lot of the time and I’m stuck to face all of this with nobody to just fucking pat my head and tell me that I can make it through this, and I had just decided that my time is up. I was done being alive.

I took a few days thinking about it and if I should leave words or an explanation behind and the how who what where of it all... But then, I decided I was going to give it one last chance. I was going to fight for my life because thats what my daughter deserves. Then I got a phone call Thursday morning that a really great person I’ve always adored had taken his life. I mean, this guy was talented in every aspect. Writing, instruments, comedy. He was literally just so great at everything and so pure and every single person who came across him just loved him! I was devastated that someone so humble and fucking amazing as Tyler could ever feel so hurt to take his own life. As selfish as it is, I thought as I broke down “I wonder who would feel like this if it would've been me.” That’s what really got me...

There were only three names I could think of in this situation, two of those names are people I’ve never met in real life. But three, three was enough. I want to be better. I want to feel better. I want to want to be alive. I want to fight for my life. This year has taken everything I have ever loved and it has ripped it to shreds and destroyed it right before my eyes. I can’t think of a time in my life where I’ve ever felt lower, but they say once you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I’m begging the world to let that be my truth and I’m hoping that I can keep going. I’ve tried every single day to think of at least ONE reason to keep going and I let that reason carry me through the day. For now, thats enough.

Theres really no point to this other than I just wanted to put this out there and help people understand that I’m not some attention seeking asshole. I can’t comprehend how hard this year has been and there’s some details that I just can’t dive into, but I hope this helps you to understand how much everything has just shattered before my eyes. I want people to maybe think that if I can keep going then maybe they can to. I want every single one of you to know that this blog is always a safe place. That I will always do my best to be here for each and everyone of you. I’m not giving up on myself and I’m never going to give up on any of you.

So please, if you’re struggling today don’t hesitate to come and talk to me. You can vent or you can just go off about your ult or even some TV show or anything you need. Whatever is going to help you keep yourself grounded, I’m here for all of that. I don’t want any of our followers or even any stranger on Tumblr to ever feel like they’re so alone that nobody would even notice if they’re gone. I would notice. I would care. I love you and every day that you wake up I am so proud of you. Please dont ever give up on yourself and know that even if thats something you cant do, that i will never give up on you.

I love you all so much and I can’t tell you how thankful I am for each and every one of you. 

Sunflower

[donewithjeon]

I've just finished reading Inner Universe and Good Intentions. I'm crying. And amazed by your talent. That's it, I now declare my feelings completely devoted to your writing. Do as you please, for I will be more than honored to be broken by your enchanting and beautiful words. Thanks Michelle♥ love you tons♥ - anon with feels all over the place🌌

(in case tumblr might have eaten this ask) I’ve just finished reading Inner Universe and Good Intentions. I’m crying. And amazed by your talent. That’s it, I now declare my feelings completely devoted to your writing. Do as you please, for I will be more than honored to be broken by your enchanting and beautiful words. Thanks Michelle♥ love you tons♥ - anon with feels all over the place🌌

Ohnononono I’m reading gravity and seems like I’ve fallen for Jimin’s enlightened-by-the-sunset smile… Why am I doing to myself? - anon with feels all over the place🌌

I’m biting my nail polish off my nails right now… I swear, if Jungkook doesn’t make his annual appearance soon, I’m drinking the acetone bottle - anon with feels all over the place🌌

OH JESUS HE APPEARED I’M BREATHING AGAIN DON’T WORRY I WON’T DRINK THE ACETONE - anon with feels even more all over the place🌌

“This was a goodbye.” I’m literally crying and I haven’t cried over a story ever since I read the last pages from The Book Thief; but now turns out that I’ve cried twice in the span of 2 hours and all because of your insane choice of words in these fics. Seriously. Wow. I have never loved to suffer more than I do now - anon with feels all over the place🌌

…ohmYGOD I am NOW getting the snowflakes reference!!!!!! 눈꽃이 떨어져요~❄❄😭 gosh you deserve a smarter anon - anon with feels all over the place🌌

. . I’ve never -and believe me, I mean when I say this- never felt a knot in my throat for an ending. Major props for awakening this new feeling of contemplation and gratefulness over something. It was amazing, utterly wonderful, and magical. Thank you so much for moving my heart and soul like this. Thank you. - the anon with feels all over the place🌌

I’m sorry for spamming your inbox, but I wanted to sincerely thank you. And you don’t need to reply this… I just want to let you know that I needed to stop feeling numb. And your words truly encouraged me. (½)

The situation/character you’ve given to Jungkook really spoke to me. I’ve always been told that O always do well and I’ll do great in whatever I choose to do, but turns out it’s my second year of college and I’m still running towards nothing, or so I feel. I don’t know…your fic seemed to spark a little hope in me, you know? So thank you❤ your uncertain yet hopeful “feels all over” the place anon🌌

So I’m back for what it seems my dosis of quality fics aka your masterlist♡ I decided to read Reflections and then BAAAAMMMM APRIL 12TH( TДT) ndlanflqnfka that’s my birth date akdnakfkanf I’m so ready to have my feelings destroyed - the feels all over the place anon🌌

Wow… The gif truly made me think he was burning the letters instead of replying. Reflection is really something else… I love it♡ - the feels all over the place anon🌌

Oh my darling feels all over the place anon. ;__; I’m sorry this took a while for me to get to, but I swear my heart swelled each time I got a new ask from you. I finally have some time since it’s the weekend, so LET’S DO THIS. I’m going to try to answer everything that you touched on to the best of my ability. (ง°ل͜°)ง

Let’s start off with Inner Universe and Good Intentions. My two Namjoon fics. :’) Omg please, it’s me who should be honored by your devotion. I’m so glad you enjoyed those two, and I hope that I mended you along with breaking you. ): I wouldn’t want to just hurt someone without placing a band-aid and a smooch on top of everything once it’s all said and done. I love you too, and I really appreciate the love you’re giving me. ♥

Moving on to Gravity! First off, I just want to say that I absolutely love it when people live comment while reading my stories. Reactions make my heart flutter~ It makes me happy to hear that you fell for Jimin. :> He’s such a sweetheart who deserves all the love. But oh my, good thing I wrote the story so that Jungkook shows up at the annual meeting. I would like it if my readers kept breathing haha. Let’s try to stay away from drinking acetone though. D: May I interest you in a nice refreshing cup of orange juice or banana milk instead?

I actually haven’t read The Book Thief yet, but it’s been on my reading list for the longest time. I can’t believe Gravity really made you cry though! I feel like I just won some kind of prestigious award by being able to evoke those rare emotions and tears from you. “I have never loved to suffer more than I do now” though. Ahaha, that is such a fitting reaction to have after reading my stories. It has been a privilege to have the literary power to make you suffer. (づ￣ ³￣)づ Please take this hug and feel better~

Yes! 눈꽃이 떨어져요~ And then in the last chorus, it changes to 벚꽃이 피나봐요. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ Don’t worry about it! You’re honestly the first person to bring that up after reading the story, so I would say you’re pretty sharp! :D The funny thing is, I actually came up with this fic idea a week or so before Bangtan came out with Spring Day. Imagine my surprise when I watched the MV and listened to the song for the first time. ʘ‿ʘ It was such a weird coincidence and way too perfect timing, but I just went with it~

Oh dear. You seriously got me all choked up on this part of your message. ;__; Don’t ever feel sorry for spamming my inbox, because I welcome any and all comments you may have about my stories! Even if you just want to talk about life or puppies or something, I’m always open to listen. (~˘▾˘)~ I might take a bit of time to get to messages if they’re a bit longer, but that’s only because I like to really sit down and take my time so I can give you my best response.

You are so very welcome, but I also want to thank you so much for even receiving my stories in this manner and feeling this type of connection with the messages that I’m trying to convey through my writing. Just hearing that it made you feel better about yourself and your situation in life makes me extremely happy, and it’s honestly one of the biggest reasons why I even post my fics for people to read in the first place. I’ve been told that Gravity is a really relatable fic, so I can see how it can touch your mind in that way. Please hold onto that hope, because that’s where you can draw your strength and courage from! Don’t feel too much pressure to do everything at once. You still have time to figure out your life, so just take it one stride at a time and try to explore your options until you aren’t uncertain anymore. You said that you’re attending college, so I would say that you’re already ahead of the game in comparison to those who are lost and aren’t even trying to find their way. Even if you feel like you are running towards nothing, it could be because the future is too distant for you to see in your position right now. I bet you’re doing great, even if you feel unsure. As long as you’re putting in the effort to take those steps forward, you’re already lapping everyone who is standing still in the same place! But yes, please stay hopeful and most importantly, stay healthy so that you can keep moving forward. ♥

I apologize for that wall of text haha. But now that I got that off my chest, last but not least, Reflection! What a crazy coincidence once again! Happy (very) belated birthday! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Woohoo! I chose that gif for the story’s banner for that reason. I’m glad I was able to trick you hehe. :> Thank you so much again for reading my stories and for sending me all of these lovely messages. I want you to know that I truly do appreciate every word you wrote to me, and I hope that you’ve having a fantastic day! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

[dreamilyenchantingwasteland]

This was too long for Twitter.

[Tweet: I fucking hate when ppl share graphic animal cruelty stuff on facebook like seeing an animal brutalized makes me physically sick]

@oneunaccountedfor​ said: I've had this argument internally so many times, also about the horrors of war and military action. Ultimately I think I'm with y'all, that it's not good to force such imagery on people. It can feel so goddamn hopeless and desperate though when people are so defiantly ignorant and wicked on account of their ignorance. I want everyone to be horrified of these things—but brutal imagery just makes them horrified of me and the immediate. It doesn't create understanding. It's not a real lesson. I mean, in principle I'm not opposed to harm per se—if the harm is that I'm bringing people to awareness of evil and they are appropriately upset, that's a very moral kind of "harm." But I dunno. There's so much context and I'm with you also that we want to create a sensitive and caring environment, not a cold & heartless one where we constantly psychically bombard each other I wanna find some writings on this, I'm sure they're out there buried in the good social justice discourse. I feel so lost at sea. @dreamilyenchantingwasteland​, any thoughts?

Hmm. Okay, totally off-the-cuff thoughts on this: It’s complicated. (Of course.) But I don’t think what’s complicated is the morality of sharing the message so much as questions about context. Which sort of seems to be what @saladgirl is saying also.

I DO think that when people are confronted with incontrovertible evidence of horrific, brutal acts, it changes them. Photo/video evidence is still considered relatively incontrovertible by most people these days. (This may shift.) And so, for example, I think the success of Black Lives Matter largely comes down to the fact that otherwise sheltered people have recently been “forced” (or “allowed”) to see countless videos of police brutality against black people.

Likewise, I’ve had a number of people tell me recently that they became a vegetarian or vegan because of some documentaries they watched about the horrible conditions of factory farming. Their narrative is usually something along the lines of “I always thought factory farming was bad but I could never quite get myself to quit eating meat — until I saw that movie, and now I can’t get the images out of my head, fuck.” Similarly, we’ve all heard the stories of people turning vegan after working in a slaughterhouse, etc. And, I mean, the Vietnam protests were caused in large part by people seeing the reality of war on TV.

I suspect this kind of brutal imagery doesn’t change the minds of anybody who’s already firmly opposed to the position being put forward — partly because, I suspect, those folks have in some ways already bitten their bullets. Hawks understand that war is brutal. Hunters and farmers know that killing animals is disturbing and disgusting in many ways. Cops and cop-lovers, obviously, are not surprised that police are violent towards black folks. These people just have pre-constructed justification narratives for brutal acts, so when they see them happening “in the flesh” they can apply their narrative and sleep at night.

On the flipside, people who in theory believe that war, police brutality, animal cruelty, domestic violence etc. are wrong but don’t see it in their day-to-day are constantly trying to manage a sort of ethical cognitive dissonance. Their (our) narrative is less about why these acts are categorically okay, and more about how they’re probably not really happening. Not like THAT anyway. How a lot of the stories are apocryphal or exaggerated — PETA being drama queens or whatever — because, surely, the world can’t be THAT terrible of a place? And yet we go around with this sort of quivering anxiety in our guts that maybe the world *is* that terrible a place and we’re not doing anything about it.

So, when we’re shown incontrovertible evidence that, in fact, our worst nightmares are true — black children are being murdered with impunity, dogs are having their noses cut off, women are being brutally raped in their own homes — that low-level anxiety in our guts explodes and we’re left with several choices: find some way to deepen in our denial (but usually with an awareness that we’re doing it), join the “other side” by picking up their narrative about why these things are no big deal/a necessary evil, or take action in line with our values. Most people choose one of the first two, but probably enough people choose the third option (at least for a little while) to justify this strategy. It’s like a very “tough love” way of preaching to the choir.

All of that being said, here’s where we come back to the question of context. It’s one thing to have some doubts about the morality of eating meat, and to decide you’re going to watch an investigative documentary about factory farming order to understand more about how horrible it is, with the full knowledge that this may push you over the edge in terms of not being able to stomach animal products — in fact, maybe that’s (consciously or subconsciously) part of WHY you’ve chosen to watch that documentary.

It’s another thing entirely to wake up in the morning and find that someone has taped pictures of animals being tortured to the ceiling above your bed. That’s an abuse tactic. And while I believe that causing “harm” or discomfort in the interest of encouraging ethical behavior is justifiable, abuse never is.

So, you’ve referred here to people posting images of animal brutality in such a way that they end up in your social media feeds as “forcing” you to see them. And I think this is the crux of the issue. I think we can agree that it’s not bad for these images to exist. These things are happening to animals. Better that they be documented than not documented. Better that those documents be publicly available than that they be hidden or destroyed. Even, arguably, perhaps better that they be broadcast with the intent of raising awareness among those who would be more likely to do something about it if they were reminded, viscerally, that this was happening.

I think we can also agree that it’s wrong to force people to watch triggering content against their will. So, to what degree are we being forced to engage with that content when it’s posted on social media? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I don’t know the answer. Certainly, corporate social media platforms are intentionally designed to captivate us, to in many ways force us to keep using and looking at them even when we don’t want to. I think that may be more of a problem with ad-driven social media platforms than with the people posting troubling content to them, but that’s sort of a whole different ethical can of worms.

But is it okay to broadcast images of animal torture (or police brutality, or domestic violence, or war) on the TV news? (TV and radio usually provide a content warning before they do something like that: “Attention, the following program contains x, y, z and may be upsetting to some viewers.” In fact, it might be interesting to read e.g. some writing by professional journalists about whether or not they felt it was ethically imperative to publish or not publish the Abu Ghraib images — because that was something the field of journalism itself had some conundrums over.) Is social media more akin to the TV news, or to your personal inbox, or is it something else entirely?  Do the cultural contexts and/or feed management options of different types of social media streams matter? Is it more okay to post torture videos on Twitter than it is on Facebook? Tumblr? Reddit?

Again, these aren’t rhetorical questions. I think these are some of the questions we’re all having to wrangle with because we are dealing with a whole lot of very new communications technology and, tbh, we haven’t had much time to establish normative ethics around their use. Journalistic ethics and interpersonal social ethics are blurring together and crashing into each other all over the internet right now, and they’re often at cross-purposes. Eventually, there will be clearer etiquette guidelines about what should be posted where and everyone will know them — and will have to break them with intention if they want to share information that isn’t supposed to be shared there. It’s conversations like the ones we’re having right now that are going to help establish those etiquette norms. But for the time being, it’s a little bit of a free-for-all and I think many folks are taking advantage of that — for good or for ill — to get their content in front of eyeballs without much need for concern about the social consequences of doing so.

So, yeah, it’s complicated. But here are the gut intuitions I personally have about sharing torture videos (animal or otherwise) — because apparently we live in an era of history where “sharing torture videos” is a question of ethics and etiquette we all have to ask ourselves about.

1. As long as torture is happening, it’s good that torture videos (and still images, etc.) exist and are available to the public.

2. Nobody should be sending that shit to your phone directly: No texting it, no sharing it in group chats unless they exist for that purpose, probably no posting it directly to your Facebook wall. Basically, nothing that triggers a notification. You should never click through a notification with no warning and suddenly be face-to-face with images of violence.

3. If you use your social media account primarily for social communication, keeping in touch with family, chatting with friends, etc. you probably want to be pretty sparing and considerate about posting disturbing imagery on it. If you use your social media account primarily for broadcast, political, or awareness raising reasons around this issue, post whatever the hell you want; your followers know what they’re signing up for.

4. It’s always okay to post links to content you’re deeply moved by, with content descriptions, and encourage your friends to watch them if it’s safe for them to do so. It’s polite to remove the preview images.

5. Social media platforms ought to be better designed to give users more control over what they see and don’t see. You should never have to see animal torture images if you don’t want to, even if all of your friends are posting them daily, because there should be ways for you to block/unsubscribe from certain types of content not just entire profiles.

In short: It’s not really an issue of whether or not it’s okay to share disturbing content for awareness-raising reasons. That’s a tactic that has inherent pros and cons, always has, and always will.  It’s an issue of the current ease and scale with which that content can now be shared outside of predictable (i.e. journalistic) contexts — and, because of that, there is an ethical imperative for software developers and designers to give users more granular filtering facility. Precisely for the reason that we are now in a situation where people need to be able to make personal decisions about their level of exposure to things like torture videos. They won’t, though, because the same kind of software that would allow you to opt out of seeing torture videos would also allow you to opt out of seeing ads.