#for some reason im too shy to post this on twitter despite that being my main platform

[fisherofmercy]

I wanted to do some expressions from an expression meme with my rat !! shes based off my wol from ffxiv hence the hair and spotting patterns :] im still newish to gw2 but im enjoying it a lot

[petefromarma]

same anon, to clarify wasnt criticizing you specifically im moreso just like shocked at Everyone (online)‘s behavior towards those old men being on two opposite ends of a spectrum where it’s either like slightly insincere outrage or no (verbal) outrage and just like a “oh haha we know they suck what can u do 🤷🏻‍♀️” vibe. def agree that the only way to get genuine results is to stop supporting them financially but i dont think a majority of the people who regularly buy merch etc have the balls to stop, but tbh i cant see them even making a statement i feel like their pr strategy has always been just avoiding discussing shit and waiting for people to start ignoring it again (which they always do!!), and even if they were to say something regardless of how sincere it might be (it won’t be) i really dont think i or a lot of other people can go back from that 😭 like i’ll never see them the same again, n e ways yes he said that shit’s crazy i don’t remember it word for word but he quoted someone talking about the death toll with some bs about how a genocide needs to involve a Certain number of people killed and the death toll hadnt reached that number yet……… crazy shit but like to end on a lighter note andy hurley (as the only member who’s explicitly talked about the genocide) (using talked very loosely bc all he did was post on his story lmfao) in particular is a chickenshit pussy bc how you gonna command a doomsday commune during the apocalypse when youre too shy to tell off your associates w shitty politics 💀 kid on twitter talking abt revolution but they cant ask for extra ketchup packet vibez

again under a cut

no you're good i figured it wasn't about me specifically i just thought maybe i should elaborate on my perspective. also yes i agree with all of this; i will say the reason i think it could be realistic for them to, like, throw up a donation link on their insta is that it's not something that's related to their personal lives (as in, there's other points of criticism they will never ever talk about because it has to do with their own actions) and they do, occasionally, respond publicly to fans. but i completely understand why that wouldn't really change anything for you and i am sorry that this happened and that you're not able to enjoy them or feel the same connection to them that you once were

also yeah speaking of i did notice that no one has had any heat for andy despite the fact that he's shown up for at least two of the three cobra shows. i think patrick is an easy target rn bc he's the one most visibly involved and everyone is too scared to criticize pete but no one has said anything about andy except to praise him and it's like, i think we're maybe past that point lol. and yeah i do maintain that if he wasn't in a band he would be the world's most annoying accelerationist larping on twt about violent revolution

[phanchester]

gen z baudelaire children headcanons

violet baudelaire

- age: 16

- good at drawing

- cries in movies

- asexual af 

- called herself a lesbian for years until she started dating a boy lmao

- dating quigley quagmire

- doesnt define herself as a single sexuality so she just calls herself queer

- has an instagram account for aesthetic things and another account for weird selfies

- has a studyblr account as well 

- pretend shes organised but really is not

- loves dodie and tessa violet

- makes slimes and squishies and somehow all of them are perfect?? like the slime never sticks to anyone’s hands and get stretch a lot and the squishies just never break down

- is really bad at baking 

- tried to make klaus a birthday cake but failed and handed in slush

- she ended up buying cake from the local bakery but accidentally spelt klaus wrong so it read “happy birthday klauz”

- loves everything to do with japan but constantly denies the fact that shes a weeaboo

- dressed up as jiro from my hero academia one year

- obsessed with princess mononoke

- loves all the tech in tokyo

- listens to paramore religiously

- liked one direction when she was a lot younger and cringes about it

- used to have long hair but she cut it when she was 15 and now she has the bisexual haircut

- has a really good sense of fashion although she looks pretty in anything

- loves sherlock way too much for it to be healthy

- was obsessed with tom hiddleston in 2012

- got raped when she was 14

- still goes to therapy to repair all the broken things which came out of that

- very passionate about feminism and is pro-choice

- got called an sjw in public so she gave the man a whole rant about how her being raped ruined her entire life

- lead the tech box for the school musical in junior school despite these annoying teachers telling her she should be on stage with her pretty face

- gets cat-called in public which she absolutely hates but she just ignores them

- loves doing her own makeup

- people who dont know her call her the shy nerd but people who know her things shes insane

- resident IT kid at school

- knows for forever from dear evan hansen off by heart but refuses to listen to any more songs despite klaus’s protests

- really good at football and baseball

- super good at science

- loves everything to do with inventing (obviously lmao)

- dressed up as tinker bell when she was 4 and as annabeth chase when she was 12 for halloween

- good at sewing and making costumes

- made her own computer out of spare parts when her mother (beatrice) put screen time on her school laptop

- had an emo phase but constantly denies it

 klaus baudelaire

- age: 14

- a huge fanboy over practically everything except sports

- family thought he was gay for years, turns out he was a bi disaster

- peace-signs bisexual but also finger guns

- had a crush on isadora and quigley when they first met in seventh grade

-  now only has a crush on isadora and boy is oblivious to how lovestruck isadora is for him as well

- knows every starkid musical off by heart

- has a super popular tumblr blog with a hell lot of followers as well as an anti-onision side blog

- has probably every social media known to man

- rumours say that he even has a myspace account?? with this boy who knows

- hair is always messy no matter how many times beatrice tries to tame it

- always dresses up as harry potter for halloween because he looks exactly like the description

- obsessed with lord of the rings

- use to have a booktube but then deleted it a day after he posted a video 

- has mild anxiety and depression

- also sees a therapist (someone help these chirren they need help)

- memes and vines are his source of energy and without them he would probably die

- knows like every single vine somehow

- loves thomas sanders

- has a diverse set of subscriptions from really small but high quality youtubers to these huge popular ones

- once this random youtuber liked his reply on twitter and he actually flipped out

- has a crush on brendon urie (“i’d fuck that forehead any day” - actual quote by klaus baudelaire)

- skipped year 4 so he is one year younger than the people in his grade

- can eat until he dies

- was super small but then had a huge growth spurt so now hes a lot taller

- practically blind without his glasses

- once violet stole his glasses for a prank and klaus sat on the family cat

- the cat was thankful still breathing after the traumatizing experience but died the year after

- these events are not confirmed to be connected

- definitely a feminist and is super protective over his sister so he  a t t a c k s  anyone online who normalizes and tries to justify rape and/or pedophilia

- hated olaf from the second he met him

- super judgemental over people which he knows he needs to stop but he cant help it

- only person he didnt judge was lemony which beatrice took as a good sign when they first got together 

- hardly remember bertrand as he died when he was like 1 (and violet was 3) but from photos he knows that he was a good person

- loves croissants and meat pie

- actually really likes bread for some reason no one knows why but he just really likes bread

- good at every single subject except for pdhpe (or rather pe)

- running joke in the family that hes trash at sport

- actually likes the concepts of most school subjects but he hates some of his teachers (like his maths teacher and his geography teacher)

- has really trash handwriting

- has the weirdest search history known to man

- “im a writer” but never writes

sunny snicket 

- age: 4

- not at school yet but still super smart for her age

- klaus read the hobbit to her and she really enjoys it and wants to watch the movies (but beatrice wont let her because theyre rated m)

- lost her first tooth recently because she kept on wobbling it and just pulled it out

- never cries when she falls over or scratches herself or shit

- uses klaus as a chair and violet as a pillow

- once pulled all of beatrice’s flowers out from the garden to give to her

- beatrice got really mad at first but when sunny started crying and saying that she just wanted to give her mummy a present beatrice melted and brought sunny to the florist to buy flowers

- kept on asking how babies were made and didnt believe the stories she was being told so lemony just straight-up told her to shut her up and now she is traumatized

- watches movies which are way too old for her age

- loves baking with her mum and is very good at it (better than violet lmao)

- beatrice doesnt allow her near the oven so she constantly makes peanut-butter sandwiches

- suffice to say, the house is never out of peanut-butter sandwiches

- loves dogs

- has way too many toys to count

- wants a pet hamster, fish and/or sloth

- hates shoes so constantly walks around barefoot

- blames everything on her invisible snowman friend called ojo

- hates being called cute but really is adorable

- likes blueberry muffins and vanilla cupcakes

- never ties her shoelaces

- loves the incredibles

- really likes all frank sinatra songs

- has a pink radio which allows cds

- has lazy eye

- taking piano lessons but wants to learn the cello

- pretends to be a detective all the time

- tried to catch the monster under the bed so she could talk to it

- loves talking

- loves chinese food

- tries to write in cursive

- sings very loudly around the house

- always sneezes at least 5 times in a row

- scared of swallowing pills for medicine

- can quote child-friendly vines

- loves dressing up in dresses but hates makeup

- heard someone (probably kit) say “no shit sherlock” so says that on repeat under every circumstance

- finds writing capitals rs and 4s interesting so she has a notebook dedicated to that

- loves the mii and kahoot song (probably because of klaus)

- has an interest in sharp-toothed creatures like snakes, sharks and alligators

- pretends to have a british accent sometimes and its very cute

- hates her hair in pigtails

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the one thing I hated while I was doing my arts degree, and still hate after having graduated from it, is the condescending statement/belief from people that “oh why didn’t you just do a more useful degree like maths or science???? and not your useless bullshit mickey mouse arts degree, which was never intended to give anyone jobs outside of teaching, anyway!” or some other horrendous bullshit, such as: “why didn’t you just stay with communication & media studies and complete the marketing & PR major???? you would’ve had a job after all of the unpaid internships you do throughout the course!” or whatever. (media and communications is abbreviated to m&cs further down in this post, just an fyi).

but, meredith. do you know that even people with science & maths degrees struggle to find meaningful work that’s related to their degrees? do you know that some of those people will turn to teaching anyway just because they feel like there’s nothing else that they can do??? do you know that some people (mainly me and probably quite a few others) just can’t handle maths past like idk year 6 level??? I would’ve been completely and utterly fucked if I even tried to set foot in first year uni science or maths subjects. even though some of the content did interest me.... (also there’s the fact that my handwriting wasn’t good enough for diagrams etc etc in maths & science- but that’s a whole other topic not for this post).

like I had to totally skip out of psychology/sociology and even the PR major, bc they required you to do statistics subjects.... where no matter what level of study I would’ve/could’ve done for those subjects, i would’ve still failed them spectacularly because my mind really struggles with processing and working with numbers. but that’s besides the point.

hey earl, do you know some people simply do not suit particular fields of “real world” or “practical” study areas like business subjects? trust me. I tried that one sem of marketing 101 and intro to management/ business communications in first year. and you know what I found? that my mind just could not take the complete and utter dryness of the content of marketing theory and, again, numbers. and that’s despite the earnest encouragement of my tutor, who thought I had a knack for marketing. i literally almost fucking died in that business communications subject... even though the lecturer seemed to like me as well. but as i thought further ahead into my degree in comms & media, i dreaded it. I absolutely fucking dreaded it. the PR stuff sounded as equally dry & boring (besides the point that every project was group work lmao) and so did upper level marketing subs in advertising/marketing strategy/various fields of marketing etc etc. i couldn’t stomach that lmao. and besides the point, the analysing of media just bored the fuck out of me too, for some reason. I just didn’t like the subject. hell, even my advanced diploma in marketing from business college was a fucking hard slog for me.

but when i sat in my english, philosophy, (kind sorta) history and -further down the track- creative writing subjects.... I fucking loved them. I was writing like I’d always wanted to. okay yes I did get pretty dismal marks in most of my philosophy and english exams or assignments. but I don’t fucking care. I was there doing what my mind was built for. if id tried another business subject, like intro to economics or even gone back to redo that “intro to management”/“business communications” (or whatever it was called) as an elective/as electives, i probably would’ve dropped out of either of them in the first 2 weeks. whenever i read those subject descriptions, they literally put me to sleep.

also, for the media and comms point. do you know that there’s loads of media & comms students that don’t get jobs because there’s just such a HUGE intake of students in those courses??? do you know that that the most popualr field in that degree stream (at least when I started that degree at my local home uni in 2015) was journalism & professional writing??? where literally EVERYONE was aiming to be a journalist????

I was one of the very, very few people when I began in media and comms, to outwardly say that she was there to do marketing or maybe the marketing & PR double major.... and everyone looked at me as if I was insane. “why don’t you want to be a journalist? I think journalism is so cool and that I’m more likely to get a job in that than you are in marketing or PR. you actually engage with real people in journalism and do meaningful stuff with the community!” was one of the utterly dumb responses I sometimes got from people in that course, when I told them the above. but you know what kelsey, or, trent? neither one or any of us are “more likely” to get jobs in media & comms... when you’re both competing against people with “proper” straight journalism degrees who might have more media experience than you- if you didn’t do an internship or do some uni newsroom/magazine or whatever.... or maybe more streamlined (if that’s the right word) media &comms degrees.... as well as generally competing against each other, in the same field, for the fucking same exact jobs. while im competing against commerce students doing marketing and PR and people doing the PR & marketing major in m&cs.

also in relation to the above, doing multiple unpaid or even severely underpaid internships in journalism, or even marketing, probably won’t fucking secure your chance of getting a bloody job, adam. just shut the fuck up. those internships may have helped you. but they most likely won’t help most people, theresa. because there’s only a tiny freakin chance that the place that they worked for will actually give them a guranteed job at the end of their internship’s timeframe or at the end of their whole degree. it’s a fucking scam lmao.

and plus, (not to be as rude as you were to me).... but why the FUCK would you want to go into journalism.... when it’s been debased so fucking much by media outlets like buzzfeed; writing nothing but clickbait bullshit listicles.... and is polluted by internet virality.... so much so, that more than half of the people my course had the career goal of being a viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? like i’m sorry. this is a dumb asf course, no matter the field you’ve chosen to study.... and there’s no way that a single one of you will be a successful viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? what on fucking earth led you to believe that????

like no offence. but there’ll only be a lucky, lucky, lucky few who get to be the next jennamarbles, ray william johnson, pewdiepie, lily singh, tanya hennessy, jeffree star, james charles, etc etc.... or hell, even friendlyjordies (if you want some satire & politics). and for instagrammers.... idek know them. someone list some instagrammers lmao. but my point still stands.

being an influencer or youtuber- both with huge followings- is a fucking pipe dream- as much as me being a hugely successful author is. it only goes to the insanely lucky, lucky few who have the right connections and the right digital savviness/finesse to grow to be uber successful.... or who started super early, before it was even considered a job title (like jenna mourey/marbles and ray william johnson listed above, and several others not listed who have big fan followings on here) and eventually grew to be the first original titans of the youtuber job title.

or again, they already have some type of other successful media career (like tanya hennessy is an aussie radio announcer. jeffree star had a short lived myspace music career in the late 000s mostly, and made cameos in emo music videos and LA ink at the time also, for example) so that they can successfully fund their youtube channels and/or instagrams as side projects or whatever, as part of their media portfolio.... and they also know how to engage and grow follower bases etc. because they already have an existing one. so it’s twice as easy for them.

tbh i actually entered the m&cs course bc of my use of this hellsite and all the weird trends it had and stuff.... but I eventually got over that as I realised that I just did NOT fit into that field of study. I realised I was too shy... and I also just hated the fact that I had to learn how to use twitter and wordpress and probably eventually snapchat & instagram 😂

i had also gotten sick of follower counts and “growing a following”- considering that by 2015, I’d hit over 3,000 followers on here, I think.... and I realised just what energy and time it took to build this blog.... and my followers.... that I just didn’t have the energy to expend on other platforms for the same thing lmao. like it seemed like more wasted time. I was tired. in addition to that, i also realised that i didn’t want to waste my whole fucking career on the internet worrying over a business’s/company’s multiple corporate social media channel follower counts and image etc.... when i’d done enough of that for myself on this hellsite lmao. doing that stuff with other students in the m&cs course seemed fake asf, especially when it came to giving feedback comments etc lol.

but do you know that one place where you don’t have to give a flying fuck about followers, post views/comments, and blog views? philosophy and english. lmao 😅. no one gives a fuck what you say. unless, of course, you have the evidence and the force of argument to back your pov up. that’s what I was about and am still about. I loved reading and analysing the many books I had to read (contrary to the complaint posts that I made on here lmao)- whereas learning about media and who owned what and how media is manufactured- just made my brain freeze. and although I didn’t do my readings in philosophy (lmao)- i enjoyed a good bulk of the content I had and the issues it involved. doing media & journalism subjects in the m&cs degree, on the other hand, terrified me, bc it meant I had to get in front of a camera and speak- which also scared me bc i look & sound terrible on camera lmao 😂. but I didn’t have to do that almost throughout the entirety of my arts degree (im obvs not counting class presentations in this lol). but do you get my point???

and also the teaching comment. don’t get me wrong, i know a good bunch of people go into teaching after their arts degrees... including many of my friends; and a load of the people I was in my arts degree with. but that is mainly because with other degrees like journalism or media & comms or whatever other fields that they overload into uni arts departments- have taken our job titles away, in a sense....

so, then you’re practically forced to either go into teaching, or go into something outside of your expertise; like idek human resources management/a MBA via a masters.... or, again into something like librarianship via postgrad study- so, that for the love of fucking god- you have a job title to whack next to your name-!!!-instead of just “arts graduate” or “english major” or “philosopher” that all mean fuck all. and that’s because those labels sound vague, unhelpful, undefined and useless; as that’s opposed to something like “teacher” or “librarian” or even “information specialist”. all those titles/labels sound defined, and have actual useful concrete skills: like coding, database creation and maitenance & information retrieval (amongst other things), for a librarian/an information specialist, for example. these skills are then translated into something that you can physically demonstrate to people.... unlike with philosophy and english where people perceive that it’s just “all in your head” and “doesn’t produce anything worthwhile” bc of your very obvious skills that everyone has of communication and writing. like idk. anyway.

anyway here’s my rant for november.

[atlanxic]

ok so i actually have an extensive arc-v/zexal crossover university au that i’ve talked a lot about on my private twitter and on discord but i think it’s time to put it all on tumblr. i wanted to make this all one post but i actually feel like it’s too much for that? so here’s part one of..... five or so?

yuuto, shun, and ruri lived in the same apartment complex as children, theyve known each other literally forever.

in middle school, yuuto & shun both discover hardcore/punk music and spend a couple years being kind of awkward and terrible about it until high school hits and they kind of level out. ruri teases them a lot for liking that awful racket but eventually she gets into it too, mostly because her and shun are kind of inseparable for quite some time. the three of them go to the local shitty music venue just about every weekend. for the first year or so ruri insists shes going to keep them out of trouble but like i said, she gets more into the music after a while.

shun and yuuto both mosh, shun probably more frequently than yuuto. they show up to school with bruises pretty often and rumours are started that they get in fights a lot or that theyre involved in a gang. there are also rumours that theyre dating, which dont go over very well, and result in them getting in actual fist fights a couple times. they try dating for like... 3 months in grade 7, and then decide that its weird and they work better as friends.

yuuto wears his hair in a mohawk for about a year before switching to the spiky mess we know and love. towards the end of middle school, they meet kaito at a prog-rock concert, all four of them pressed against the front rails together kaito and yuuto hit it off immediately, and exchange phone numbers after the show. shun is immensely suspicious. they text a lot, and then they start hanging out, and then they start going out. shun threatens to beat kaito up, kaito is fine with it, yuuto is not. etc.

meanwhile, ruri and sayaka meet in class. it doesn't even occur to shun to be suspicious of her until he catches them making out. he yells about it, sayaka is understandably frightened. ruri tells him off for scaring her girlfriend. she stays angry at him for longer than she has before. he eventually gives in and apologizes to both of them, but in a kind of dickish way.

yuuto and kaito break up towards the beginning of 11th grade. neither of them are upset about it, they stay friends. it was mostly because kaito felt like he needed to focus more on school, now that he's getting into college prep-level courses. yuuto cries about it once, and it takes several hours to convince shun that violence would be neither appropriate nor helpful.

all four of them move to a different city for college. sayaka goes to school in the town they grew up in. her and ruri stay in touch, but after half a year they decide that the long distance thing isn't working out for them. they still hang out when ruri and shun go back for the holidays, and its fairly bittersweet.

yuuto shun & ruri dont realize that kaito is going to the same school as them until all four of them are present at a queer alliance meet & greet. shun glares at him across the room for a while before yuuto notices he's there and goes over to say hello like a decent person. yuuto and kaito immediately hit it off again. theyre both kind of "fuck you grew into yourself really well im Gay."

immm gonna say that in first year, yuuto & shun live in the dorms together. they eventually decide the res life is not for them but. apartment hunting when youre like 18 and moving out for the first time is a bit much, so dorms it is.

anyway, shun catches yuuto and kaito making out in their shared dormroom like 3 fucking days after the meet and greet. kaito's expression is one of fear and conveys that he knows full well that shun is 2 seconds from beating him up. yuuto is kinda pissed off about it. yuuto and shun have a long conversation that night about how protective shun is. they fall asleep in each other's arms.

kaito avoids them for a little while, but the next time they see him, shun makes a genuine apology. yuuto and kaito start dating again a few weeks later. ruri is surprised and delighted about it. ruri ends up dormed with rin in first year.

they get along reasonably well, but they dont get close until rin accidentally lets slip that she's gay, and then ruri is like "oh thank god, me too." the context is probably: that yuugo visits them like basically every other day, and is Really Obviously In Love with rin, and rin's affectionate with him, so ruri just kind of assumes theyre dating. and at one point is like, do you want me to go somewhere else so you guys can make out, i could hang out with my brother tonight its nbd. yuugo blushes bright red and is like aaaaa its not like that, like, exactly like he does in canon. and rin's like “lmao im gay. i mean. what.”

ruri probably ids as pan? but anyway, shes like "ohhhh cool me too.” they both kind of stare at each other while this new info sinks in, and then yuugo says something and the moment is broken.

this is still a bit before yuugo's gay crisis

[later, during yuugo's gay crisis about yuuya] [rin] yuugo you had a crush on a boy in /middle school/ [yuugo] no i didnt i had a crush on you [rin] you used to complain to me about how hot he was like every lunch break [yuugo] that doesn't mean anything? [rin] obviously it does? how are you only realizing this now

ruri discovers that rin's been wanting to go to queer alliance meetings but has been too shy about it, so she drags her along. and someone mistakes them for yuzu and selena. idk who it would be..... sawatari maybe?

sawatari is like, Flaming Gay, a legitimate twink despite iding as bi.

anyway theyre like, thats not us, youre mistaken, and sawatari, instead of fucking off, is like, "holy fuck you have to meet them, you look so much the same it's eery." sawatari drags them through the party for like 20 minutes before actually finding yuzu and selena, and he's like "look i told you."

and all four of them are kind of like "holy fuck???" they get a selfie together, its not very good because the lighting is terrible, and they spend the rest of the evening hanging out.

yuzu and selena had a class together and hit it off immediately, theyre already dating. theyre a bit surprised to learn that ruri and rin /aren't/ dating. rin blushes at the suggestion and gets raised eyebrows all around. the four of them become fast friends and start getting lunch together and studying together on a regular basis.

ruri and rin meet yuuya through them, and because yuuya is friends with Everyone, they become friends as well. which sets the stage for yuuya and yuugo meeting, and yuugo's consequent gay crisis.

shun, ruri, and yuuto as pakistani immigrants, they arrived when they were very very young but they get a lot of shit for it anyway, especially ruri, who wears a hijab.

i figure the commons would be mostly latinx/mixed. so like, yuugo, rin, and shinji are all latinx. i rlly like the concept of black crow with a bleached-orange hi-top fade and subtle freckles. yuuya, yuzu, and gongenzaka can pprrobably be white? dennis could be ethnically jewish & light-skinned. fusion dimension crew are mostly japanese, so sora, yuuri, and selena. i.. am not really sure about reiji? following the theme i guess white/japanese mixed. tsukikage is japenese & immigrated like within his memory rather than a few generations back, he's bilingual. jack is latino and white-passing.

i like the concept of shun as a veterinary student, partly because i think he'd follow his interest in birds if things hadn't gone horribly wrong and partly because i find the idea of this edgy asshole in scrubs really funny. yuuto takes social work and ends up with crow as a teacher. yuuya, dennis, sawatari, and sora are all drama majors. yuuri is in botany. reiji is a law major, as well as being on the debate team and the student council. he never fuckign sleeps. shun also joins the debate team, and they do Not get along, but since debate team is the yelling hobby anyway, thats fine. yuzu is in the music program. selena is in poli-sci. yuugo stays in engineering. i dont, know about the rest of everyone.

conceptually, this is a north-eastern reasonably liberal college town, featuring two colleges and a trade school. one college is for the arc v kids, the other one will eventually be populated with zexal kids when i get to know them. kaito starts in zexal school and transfers at the beginning of second year. everyone is in first year rn except reiji and tsukikage, who are in second year, and also are dorming together, and also are gay.

so now that thats all set up!! back to the plot!!

ruri and rin meeting yuzu and selena happens a couple weeks after ruri and sayaka break up. selena hears about it and is like, hey if you need a rebound i can hook you up with someone, and ruri is like. "i feel like itd be disrespectful to date someone else before im over sayaka, ill stay single for a while." she never actually completely gets over sayaka, but she does eventually get enough emotional distance to move on. every time she goes home for the holidays they have awkward not-quite-gay moments.

much like in sfu, sawatari is loaded and hosts house parties whenever his father is away on business trips.

once the 4 girls are hanging out on a regular basis, they all sort of get to know each other's orbital boys. like rin and ruri get introduced to yuuya and get to know sawatari better. yuuya's goal is to be friends with absolutely everyone, and they make good progress on it.

yuzu and selena get to meet yuugo. yuugo is starry-eyed at all four of them, but alas, they are all too gay for him. at one point selena slaps him in the face and he spends like the next two weeks thinking about it lmao

likewise, they all get to meet shun. shun immediately decides that he is going to protect all of them. rin finds it kind of cute, yuzu finds it kind of weird, selena is outright offended about it. they get along a lot better with yuuto, since yuuto is just, easier to get along with. he joins their lunch dates once in a while, as does yuuya.

selena and yuuri met in their high school gsa and relentlessly gossip about everyone they meet. selena introduces yuuri to the rest of the girls exactly once, it does not go well. probably kye gives them all backhanded compliments. shun hears about this from ruri later and decides that yuuri is his enemy.

the first time yuuya and yuugo meet, its because the girls have invited both of them to lunch. yuuya introduces themself with a firm handshake and a wink. yuuya flirts a bit throughout the meal, as they tend to do. yuzu tells yuugo after the fact like, "dont mind them, theyre always like that." yuugo tries not to think about it much.

the second time they meet is at one of sawatari's giant house parties. yuuya, being slightly inebriated, is even more flirtacious than usual. yuugo gets it into his head that this is some kind of challenge, and refuses to back down from yuuyas advances until theyre in a closet together and yuuyas hand is up his shirt.

the next gay he visits rin to have a gay crisis. ruri politely sees herself out so they can talk.

i want to say shun is having a similar crisis about having come very close to having a one night stand with reiji. not because it was gay but because he hates the guy.

rin is exasperated but understanding, she rubs yuugo's back and calls him a pathetic baby while he whines. by the end of their conversation, yuugo has accepted that he's bi, and additionally, that making out is Great and he should do more of it. rin is slightly worried and gives him a safe sex talk, he yells and covers his ears during the entire thing.

meanwhile, shun is like "i fucking hate that guy why was it so satisfying to bite him" and ruri is like "bro i love you but thats way tmi, please do not tell me about your sadistic hatesex kink or whatever the fuck it is youre trying to convey." yuuto, also present, is like "i cant believe you made out with that asshole, and you still have the nerve to get angry at basically anyone i kiss for no fucking reason." shun swears up and down that it will not happen again, and also says that he has already apologized several times for being possessive about both of them, please let him live it down.

(it absolutely does happen again.)

(the second time they actually do go all the way, it is the best sex of shun's life, and he's upset about it.)

[yuuto voice] you have a Problem, why cant you date someone decent and have vanilla sex like the rest of us

rin slowly develops a huge crush on ruri. when she tells yuugo about it, hes like "yeah she's really pretty i completely understand."

[thehealerandthequeen-blog]

TADA! S.

First of all (hah know the trend in twitter), I miss you and I am sorry.

I am sorry for being a lousy sister by not keeping in touch. By not writing often or even texting you to check up on you. And honestly, I don’t have any reason or excuse to back me up, I am just a lousy friend. But alas, you have always been in my prayers. I have always read your posts and have always put the intention to finally write. AND FINALLY IT HAS BEEN PUT TO ACTION!

I am so glad to hear that despite the rough weeks and cries since entering university, Allah decided to cheer you up with a gift of your brother visiting. I am relieved to be reminded that Allah is taking care of you. 

Theres just so much to say to you. 

University is really different, don’t you think so? It honestly have different expectations. On top of that, you’re living on your own overseas. It definitely forces you to put on your big girl pants and face the world. Everyday is war. School is a battlefield. I want to make new friends, but I can’t? I want to talk to people, but I feel so shy and reserved. I know by now I have grasped the language enough to speak to people but I still can't seem to do it???? Im such a loser. I used to think I am someone brave enough to step out of my comfort zone but I’m not. I am upset I wasn't;t as bold as I used to be. 

Everyday has been the same. Go to school, go back home, sleep, wake up, do my revisions and then sleep. And it continues. Weekends, it will always be stay at home and rot kind of day. Granted, with Nz around, even though the routine is the same, its different. I am definitely glad Nz is around. I don’t actually feel as lonely as I was last sem. We even have some classes together. But I am also glad I have classes where I am alone. I like to think I can still survive without Nz around. So don’t fret about being in different classes with N, it will only give you more room to grow and get to know people with your own effort. Though that is not exactly what I am doing just yet. YET! But I will still try. Today, a classmate of mine gave me a Chocolate randomly. I smiled at her my biggest smile, probably trying to give the msg “I AM FRIENDLY OKAY TALK TO ME SISTER!” Hahahaha. I hope she got it. 

Everyday is the same routine. But I don't feel productive. I worry that at the end of this journey, would I have benefitted as much as I should have? Have I made the best of this time in University and overseas to better myself? I feel like I should be doing more. I should be reading more. I should be doing involvement more. I guess I am being too hard on myself and expecting too much outta myself considering how I’m still in my first year. I need to chill. 

The future is yet to come, the present is now! I just need to keep trying to make today better than yesterday. 

[tybalt-you-saucy-boi]

Not to scare you, I just found your blog and found the obsessed post and felt like commenting but I am too shy. Im not your friend so don't panic. I just felt like I could relate to you despite apparantly having 'obsessive' behaviour of someone with a disorder and I dont believe I have one. What do you consider obsessed/what do you do (if you want to answer, it could be easier for you because I am on anonymous and don't have to own up to the fact I'm the same with my identity)

Okay, okay, sorry, I just panicked. You used a particular word that I strongly associate with him, that’s why.

I’m not normally like this by the way, I’m just really on edge today for some reason. Last couple days maybe. It’s been a rough week.

WARNING: DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T LIKE STRONG EMOTIONS AND DEPENDANCY

Anyway, obsessed to me isn’t so much stalking someone on social media, it’s becoming addicted to their social media. Like I actually could not stop myself from searching their name on Google even though I had done it before many times and nothing showed up. Refreshing their Tumblr account. Switching to their Twitter. Switching to their Facebook. I couldn’t stop talking about this person even though it was making everyone around me mad because I was being so repetitive. My friend tried to get me to stop going on their Tumblr, and I only managed to go 20 hours (including when I was asleep) without going back on it again. I felt terrible every time I did, but I couldn’t stop. The only reason I knew this person’s social media accounts (besides FB and Insta) was because I found them. It’s going to school when I was too depressed to leave my bed, only because my next class was with him and I NEEDED to see him. I basically live just because I look forward to seeing him every day. I have gotten so obsessed with every little detail about him, trying to find evidence that we have some sort of connection even though I am terrified of talking to him in person. I accidentally convinced myself that I was supposed to be born as him. I want to cut his name into my arm so that I can have a piece of him with me. I have memorized almost every single piece of clothing he wears and could describe it to you. I impulsively save pictures of him onto my phone.

It’s terrible. I don’t like doing this, or feeling like this, or being this way. When I say obsessed, I mean I want to ask him if I can follow him around everywhere. I feel attached to him, I’m terrified he’ll abandon me, I’m terrified he hates me, I’m terrified that everything I do is an emotional burden on him and even though he’s assured me I’m not a burden on him I still believe I am. I’m paranoid and think he might not even feel emotions at all. Sometimes I feel like I fucking hate him and I want to yell at him because I can’t deal with how I feel. I idolize everything he does even though he is literally an average normal person. I want to be exactly like him. Even though we don’t look the same, I look at him and feel like that’s the way I’m supposed to look. I hate it. He doesn’t deserve someone feeling this way about him. I don’t even have a crush on him anymore, and when I did I barely did, it was mostly just me being obsessive. I want him to know everything I know so he can be more like me. I want to know everything he knows because I want to be more like him. I feel like hurting myself or dying thinking about the fact that it isn’t possible for me to experience his life. And it's only like this for him too, I never idolize celebrities or anything like that. Just him.

That isn’t even everything. There isn’t a lot more that’s worse per se, just… I don’t want to go on and on.

I know this isn’t healthy, I know I need to get this sorted out with therapy, but please don’t get mad at me for feeling this way because I wish I didn’t. I just don’t know how to stop all these behaviors and feelings yet.