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morvantmortuary · 2 years ago

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tw//self harm

recently after years of not doing it I’ve fallen back into self harm, i’m full of extreme embarrassment and guilt.

the morvants have been a huge source of comfort for me in trying to cope with this slip, through reading all of the other comfort asks. But I was wondering how they would comfort in this specific situation.

(im sorry if this ask is triggering in anyway thank you for creating such loving and comforting ocs)

oh, oh honey

as someone who’s had some harm-adjacent tendencies before, just know that slips aren’t anything to be ashamed of. it usually only means that something in your current system to get through the day just isn’t able to handle the amount of stress you’re under rn. and even if the slip has been going on for a bit, the holidays aren’t usually a great time for anyone’s mental health. it’s hard for lots of reasons right now, I promise you’re not alone 🖤

just know before I get into writing that a. you’re absolutely not going to feel this way forever. this will pass, and you’ll get back to where you were in the time you need to take to get there. as deep a hole as it feels right now, you’re gonna come out all right 🖤 and b. you don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. this is just you returning temporarily to something that worked before, but it’s not permanent, and progress in this kind of thing isn’t always linear. don’t beat yourself up when you’re already having a hard time, okay?

the rest I’ll put under a cut, just to save space 🖤

the first thing to know is that none of the morvants are going to be mad at you. no one is going to be angry, whether you tell them yourself, or they happen to glimpse a fresh wound, or stumble across something they weren’t meant to see in your bag/room/house etc.

if they see something that makes them concerned, none of them will confront you about it. they’ll wait for a quiet moment where you’re both comfortable and you don’t need to go anywhere anytime soon - maybe just chilling on the couch, or curled up in bed, or sitting together during a lull in the kitchen - and will, calmly and gently, ask if you’re okay. if there’s anything you want or need to talk about. if they can do anything to make you feel safer, or more comfortable talking to them about something… difficult.

when it’s appropriate, they’ll voice their concern - Maxi phrasing it delicately but still clearly, Hex having trouble quite getting the words out for a minute but eventually managing to get the point across, Rora asking you point blank but not meanly.

you only have to explain to the level you want to. they won’t make you justify it to them, they just want to know that they aren’t mistaken in what they think might be happening. no matter why or when, they will still love you.

Maxi’s first concern will be making sure everything is clean and properly bandaged. Even though you’ve possibly tried to handle that yourself to some degree, he’ll still go get his first aid kit from the prep room and insist on taking care of any wounds himself, no matter where they are. He wants to make sure that no matter how deep or what they look like, that they won’t get infected, and that they’ll heal as cleanly as they can. He’s gentle and precise, and might even have some topical lidocaine lying around still so you don’t have to hurt any more than necessary (he’s had plenty of nights where he had to stitch up some much larger wounds on himself, or Hector, and lately even Rora sometimes. he’s an old pro at numbing pain and cleaning up). He’s the perfect person to help you cover anything if you feel self-conscious at all, but first he’ll want to make sure that you’re healthy and comfortable.

if he thinks he won’t upset you, he’ll make a point to press a kiss to each bandage once he has it safely on. just to help them along. (literally, with his brand of necro-magic, but even if he couldn’t do that, he would still want you to feel loved no matter what.)

he’d want to talk, if you were in the right place, about what he could do to help you. what you think your triggers could be, and how he could help minimize them. things he could do to help you if you had the urge again, something to help replace it or circumvent it or at least keep you safe and sterile. (bless his heart, he’d ask if a bite to the spot of your choice - not to draw blood, of course, but just for the feeling - would help at all instead. he’d be willing to volunteer for that, if it made any difference.) he’d want to talk, if you could, about where your feelings had been lately, what was on your mind. he’d be looking for a spot where he could help take something off your plate, something he could do for you to help take some pressure off yourself. He’s a romantic, but one of the ways he shows love is trying to do things his partner doesn’t want to, just to show them that a. he’d do anything for them, and b. he’s here to help you, in whatever ways that entails.

if you didn’t want to talk, that would still be fine. he’d give you carte blanche over what the two of you did that day: what you watched or read or listened to, what you ate, anything for you to feel better. He’d go get anything you wanted, take you anywhere you wanted to go, make you anything you asked for, if it meant you were having an even slightly nicer time in your own head. The entire time, he’d insist on staying close to you - holding your hand, or keeping you in his lap if y’all were hanging out at home, even just sitting with his hip pressed to yours. He would want you to feel secure, safe. There would be kisses to your cheeks, your eyelids, your forehead, the backs of your hands, your shoulders, your neck. He would just want you to know he was there, and he wasn’t going anywhere. You want a human weighted blanket? He would be one, happy to spend the days he didn’t have to work lying on your chest, or keeping you laying on his as he cradled you against his torso, content to feel the beating of your heart through his skin.

when you finally called it a night, he’d keep one arm wrapped firmly around your ribcage as always. in his other hand, with his phone set to the lowest brightness possible, he’d be reading anything he can find about supporting a partner with similar coping mechanisms. he’d defer to you first and foremost - you know your own experience best - but anything he can learn, he’d file away for later. He would want to learn how to be there for you in the ways you needed most.

he would just want to figure out how to make you feel better, if he could. how to let you know that whatever pain you felt, he would carry that weight with you, if it meant you didn’t have to take it out on yourself or carry it alone.

it would be hard for him not to check your wounds every day to make sure they’re healing okay -- he wouldn’t want to keep reminding you of something painful -- but he would want to reassure you (and himself) that you’re going to be fine. and if you ever had another slip, he would want you to know you could tell him, just so he could take care of you after in the same way. He understands things happen. He just wants you to know you don’t have to hide from him.

Hex would flounder a little more - he’s not the best at talking, sometimes, and he keeps his own feelings under a few safe layers of sarcasm and artistic distance between himself and his work. But he would hate the idea of you being in so much pain alone. He would swear to you up and down that you were perfect, beautiful, wonderful, that you could tell him anything and he would still adore you. That he would talk as much or as little as you wanted, he just wanted you to know you could talk to him, and he would never be afraid of what you had to say.

He would want to at least check your scars himself, to clean them and make sure they didn’t hurt. He wouldn’t go as all-in about it with a first aid kit, but he would want to treat you with some soap and warm water, a soft towel and bandaids in cartoon patterns. (“Who wouldn’t want Batman on a cut, c’mon,” he’d tease, gently applying them. “Nothing’s getting past him.”) But before he put those on, he’d offer you a bath, if you wanted to calm down - he’d be happy to draw it for you, to sit and chat with you while you soaked and he would wash your hair. Or if you wanted him to join you, he would sit with you in the warm water, drawing on your skin with the tip of his index finger. He’d be happy to talk if you wanted to talk, or if you didn’t, he would sit there and tell you all the little things he loved about the skin you wore, pointing them out as he went.

He would insist on keeping you as comfortable as possible - he’d want to cook for you himself, if he can make something you’d like. If you still wanted something from out, he’d be willing to go pick it up or have it delivered, but he feels better when he can feed you from his own know-how. He wants to be able to take care of you while doing as much as he can with his own hands, mostly to show you that he won’t let you go without (but also, in the back of his own head, to prove to himself that he can). If he can’t provide the meal itself, he’ll still make sure you don’t go without a snack, a cup of tea, even just some fresh water with fruit in your favorite water bottle. Food is a huge comfort thing for him, so anything he can make you or share with you, you’re going to get. He’ll lay off if you ever told him to, but it’s instinctual to him to feed the people you love in times of need. It’s been a huge love language all his life, so this is him explaining in the loudest possible terms ‘I love you, you never have to be afraid of not being cared for.’

He’s not the best at sitting still. If that’s what you wanted to do, he would busy himself with a book of poetry, or a video game, just something to keep in his hands and keep his brain distracted. But he’d be more likely to ask if you’d maybe want to take a walk or a drive to talk some stuff out. He knows that sometimes, when you’re talking about heavy things, it’s easier to be able to look somewhere else -- out the windshield, down at your feet, up at the sky -- to get things out properly. And he would listen, deeply, drinking your words in, at times maybe pausing for just a little bit longer than feels comfortable when he needs to say something. But he just wants to get it right. He doesn’t want to run the risk of being clumsy with his words when you’re already hurting. His worst fear is saying the wrong thing, anything, that would just make you feel worse. At times, it would be hard for him to start -- there’s a lot of stuff in his past he keeps quiet about, because talking never seemed to change anything. But if he tried to follow something you said with a hushed story from his own life, full of long pauses, it’s just because he’s trying to tell you he understands in his own way. That you don’t ever have to think you’re going through this alone, or that there’s any experience you could have that would scare him away. He’s determined to stay as long as you want him, no matter how bad your days get o how many slips you might have.

Where he feels words aren’t his strong suit, physical reassurance is always going to be a strength of his. If it would help at all, he would stop what he was doing to kiss you whenever you needed it, or swallow you in a hoodie hug that squeezes you down to the soul. He’s always going to want to cuddle, to touch, to lean behind you with his chin on your shoulder and pester you playfully. He would insist on letting you “borrow” clothes of his - his hoodies, sure, but his big flannel shirts, even his t-shirts or jeans or the skinny hair ties he keeps around - just so you know he’s always there.

Rora would probably be the one who understands the most literally of the three. When you finally told her, she would give you one of her sadder, knowing smiles, taking your hand in hers to intertwine your fingers. It would take her a moment to speak, but eventually she’d find her voice, low as always. “In my old body -- my first one,” she’d explain. “I used to be so... angry. At my parents, at the role they expected me to play... at myself, for not bein’ what I was supposed to be,” she’d pause. “I felt like the only thing I could take it out on, and it would actually make a difference. Ruin the little doll my mother wanted. Put that aching gnaw at the back of my skull somewhere real. Things that only make sense when you’re in the moment, and all you can feel is... well, you know.” She’d frown down at her thighs under her skirt. “I forget, sometimes, that they’re not there anymore. That that girl is dead, and I left that body behind. And, as strange as it sounds...” She trails off, hesitating for a moment. “I don’t always know how I feel about that absence.” She’d look at you, knowing you’d understand.

She would kiss the back of your hand, her lips just a touch too cool. “I know what it’s like, petal. When it feels like you have no other way to get it out. Like it’s the only thing to do to get your brain to leave you alone. It’s okay.” She would lean her forehead against yours. “You were in a space where it would’ve felt worse to keep it festerin’ inside. That still happens to me too, sometimes.” She’d smile, surprisingly gentle for her usually sharp features. “We learn other ways to make it go away. You will, too. It’s okay to feel all different ways about it, but you don’t need to be ashamed of nothin’. You’re just a person. But you’ll always be my favorite person,” she’d add, her voice hushed. “So you can tell me when you feel like that. If you feel like it’ll happen again. I’ll be here. I promise.”

Rora, as mentioned before, tends to feel things most strongly in a physical sense. (Two decades of being trapped without a corporeal form will do that.) She’ll want to do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable in your own skin. She’ll want to take care of your hair, giving it whatever it needs to grow strong, and in the style that you feel most yourself in. This could be anything from adding oil/a mask to your roots, or giving your cut a fresh buzz if it needs it. While she’s not the cook the boys are, she’d want to share with you fresh fruit from her garden, or (if you drink) a wine she’d been saving for a special occasion. Even if it meant just sitting in the sun with you outside amidst the flowers, she would want you to feel connected to your own body again. Anything she could do to help you feel like it wasn’t your enemy, she would be willing to try. This could mean expensive oils or lotions for your skin, or taking the time to rub your feet, your hands, anywhere you might be holding onto some hurt.

If you didn’t mind -- if it wouldn’t upset you -- she’d want to take care of your scars, too. Cleaning them, of course, but also treating them with something like shea butter, wanting to show them as much love as the rest of you. That they were just another part of the mural of your skin, nothing to find shameful, just something else to make sure they got the care they deserved.

She would also, in a perhaps more abstract method, want to get something new into your hands to help you find an outlet for your heavier feelings. She’d surprise you with anything she thought you might like: a calligraphy pen and ink in your favorite color, an embroidery pattern to keep your mind and hands busy, something as ordinary as a sketchpad and pencils, some clippings and supplies to grow some of your favorite flowers from the garden all on your own -- even (if you could stomach it) a beginner version of one of her taxidermy projects. Whatever it was that you felt most at home with, she’d encourage you to bring it to her workshop while she set about her latest project, doing her best to respect your space as you worked (but definitely trying to sneak a peek every so often, as curious as she is). Rora is v much someone who wants to throw herself into the work she loves when she’s feeling in turmoil. She’ll be happy to talk - and to listen to anything you might want to tell her, anything you’d want to get off your chest - but it’s much easier for her to do so with something in your hands.

If none of these appealed to you, she would want you to show her your most favorite ways to hang out and enjoy yourself. She would want to know every little detail about your favorite game, your most loved hobby, the show you watch over and over again, the band you’ve loved since high school. There’s a very high chance it’ll be new to her somehow, but most importantly, she would want to see them through your eyes. She loves you, and because you loved these things, she would love them because they reminded her of you happy. Even if it was completely foreign to her, she’d be determined to try to learn and talk about it with you. Not necessarily as an escape (although it could be that if you needed it), but to find parts of you in the things you loved, so she could remind you of them when you needed it most.

...And of course, with all of them, if it was a person who made you feel this way, then murder is definitely not off the table! You provide a name, they’ll handle the rest, and gladly.

I know this took me a day, but I’ve been thinking about it since you sent it in, hon. I hope any of this helps even a little, and just know that they would all be happy to be there for you on your worst days. So am I. 🖤 we all have to look out for each other, after all.

take care, and thank you for being sweet enough to reach out. we’re all rooting for you, but be gentle with yourself in the meantime.

#maxi morvant #hector morvant-casares #hex morvant-casares #aurore morvant #rora morvant #maxi morvant x you #hector morvant-casares x you #rora morvant x you #the morvants x you #the morvants and their readers #morvant mortuary #to be sorted into the comfort list #self harm cw #gn!reader

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cat3ch1sm · 3 years ago

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Hey! If requests are open, can I please get some headcannons for L with reader kinda having a sibling dynamic with him? Like they’ve know each other for ever and have a brother/sibling thing going on? Thank you!

🐢| what an interesting request! thanks a lot, and im happy to do it! requests r always open unless i say otherwise <33

🌲| for more info on what i write and request rules click here !

💚| happy reading, i hope u love these!

· you and ryuzaki have been friends since wammy's house- even though he literally never addressed you as a friend until you referred to him as your own friend. ryuzaki found himself drawn to your unique charisma and your exceptionally strong thinking and reasoning skills. you were also a quite energetic person (although not necessarily outgoing and definitely not airheaded) and ryuzaki secretly enjoys having someone like you to counter his perpetually blank demeanor.

· after you both left wammy's house and saw less and less of each other, what with ryuzaki hiding beneath the name l and you taking on pretty much whatever task came up, you guys still kept in contact- and it wasn't anything awkward like most people would assume of l. because you two are far more intelligent than most, you often found yourselves in environments filled with people nowhere near as smart as you both- which led to some serious understimulation. so the only resort is to talk to one another via text messages, on burner phones obviously. your texts are very chaotic- mostly consists of you and him going back and forth like:

y/n: holy shit the people here are idiots

ryuzaki: I wouldn't put it so crudely, but I find myself lacking mental stimulation as well- as usual.

y/n: when will you be back in town??????

ryuzaki: Soon. I'll return once I've solved this case- I'm very close. It shouldn't be long.

y/n: please hurry please come save me

ryuzaki: You're very melodramatic. I'm sure you'll be alright for a little while longer.

y/n: shut up im dying here okay come back rn

ryuzaki: Not until my work is done. And you're only proving my point.

·yeah so

· when you are together, you work very well with one another- for the most part.

· probably you're spinning ryuzaki around in his chair like crazy while he struggles to not choke on the candies he definitely has stuffed in his mouth

· he looks like a chipmunk

· you also try and imitate the way l sits very often for whatever reason. he'll literally just blink at you for a few seconds and then make another move to see if you'll mimic that, too. it's like he's a little kid around you

· you definitely have to fight l to get him to go to bed. and take a shower in his little human washing machine thing. and to actually eat nutritious food. and to do anything else that actual humans do.

· if you miraculously manage to get L into bed, 99 percent of the time he'll just slip right back out. he will just keep this up like a petulant child until you give up

· you and l are always doing stupid stuff when you're not doing serious stuff. it's definitely you who always intiates it and I constantly trying to get you to cut it out. in the end, he'll probably give in to you though😭

· outside of professional situations, you two pester watari a lot just for shits and giggles. he literally just stands there like 😑

· watari sometimes lets you guys come into the kitchen with him where he makes I's treats. he will even let you guys try and make some yourselves- but being socially reclusive sociopathic introverts, that pretty much never goes well. everything in sight is covered in chocolate, cream, icing, caramel, ice cream- you name it, it's all over the walls and your clothes like a couple of toddlers.

· one thing you have in common is ego. you two have absolutely teamed up during investigations just to act all smart and big-brained, throwing around big words and stuff, just to subtly make your colleagues feel inferior to you. power trippers😭

· bad renditions of shakespeare all night

· tennis and sparring matches whenever you guys get free time, you always both beat the crap out of each other and there's almost never a clear winner for either activity

· yes, you do get to act as "L" at times- but at other times, l has to wrestle you from his computer because you keep wanting to impersonate him solely for the feeling of authority💀

· you watch over his shoulder while I plays that "u are offline" game with the dinosaur

· l simply refuses to stand up straight. you've used force. he just won't move?????

· unlike sports, you hate board games with him because he wins 24/7

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curly-bangtan · 4 years ago

Text

Heatwave Anniversary Drabble: i miss u like ... a lot (M)

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles] <- read first! but this drabble can be read alone

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: One night until Taehyung is back from his boys’ trip but you miss him too much.

Genre: fluff, smut, kinda crack?, boyfriend/established relationship au

Warnings: unprotected sex (oc on contraception so don’t u do it), teasing over the phone, riding and grinding, just kinda vanilla i-missed-u-so-much sex, a particular selca

Word count: 5k

A/N: It was Heatwave’s one year anniversay on the 17th so I decided to write a quick(?) drabble for this. I fully intended on posting this on time, but wanted to change up some stuff so only managed to finish this now. Happy birthday to my first fic and forver my baby!

MOSTLY UNEDITED

The absolute one thing you hate most about your boyfriend being away from you is your boyfriend being away from you.

You have never been the clingy needy type, that is more his role in this relationship, nor are you really one to show affection. In fact, you would hate for that false image to be perceived of you because all that sappy shit makes you want to throw up your dinner. But one thing you’ve learnt since Taehyung had gone away on a week-long boys’ trip down by the coast is how cold the house feels in his absence, despite being in the middle of a sizzling summer.

Everything is so eerily quiet without his random outbursts into song and fits of laughter. Having spent 3 years living together, you have gotten so used to his constant presence that you had even caught yourself several times calling out for him only to remember that he isn’t here. Waking up without his arm draped around your waist, slided up your top at some point during the night, impacts you more than you’d like to admit.

Are you glad that he’s having a great time with his friends by the beach, relaxing all day and drinking all night? Of course. Are you having a great time all by yourself over here in the absence of your boyfriend? Certainly not.

Though, of course, this isn’t something you would confess to out loud, especially to him. He doesn’t need to know how often the thought: ugh fuck, I miss Tete is crossing your mind, lest you want him to rub his smugness in your face.

It isn’t just that. Your relationship hasn’t been without its tests in the course of its years and things have only finally stabilised. It’s not that you don’t trust Taehyung to be with his ladish friends for seven days, shirtless dusk till dawn, intoxicated to the point where he calls you thinking that you’re the pizza delivery guy but…

A hammered Taehyung at a beach full of girls who are no doubt thirsting over him leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You trust him to be loyal to his core, but you don’t trust anyone else to keep their hands from copping a feel. No matter how you look at it, you would just so much rather he be at home with you right now.

You have endured this for six days. Six full days without Taehyung. Six full days with no sex, no tummy kisses, no clammy hand holding even though you’re only to get groceries. Just one more night and this torture will fucking be over, praise the lord. But you also don’t know how much more you can hold back that I miss you text because you’re combusting from the need to see him again.

It’s almost 4am. Your sleep schedule is fucked and it’s really his fault.

The bright screen of your phone offers the only luminescence at this hour. Your messages from him in the past week have not been shy of your daily dose of Taehyung - clips of the beach (always mischievously caption with something along the lines of “thinking of Mykonos ;D” where you went on your first holiday together), selfies that you dwell way too long staring at because you miss that face buried in your neck, drunk videos of the antics him and the boys get up to that you’ll definitely chastise him for when he comes back yet can’t help but laugh at. You find yourself scrolling through them every single night.

Your personal favourite: a pouty selfie he sent you after he dropped his ice cream, the picture you always go back to and the one you’re staring at right now. His hair is frizzy from the sea, lips jutted out childishly and cheeks puffy. Your chest constricts, fuck...

Just one more night, you remind yourself. And then he’s back and all yours again.

Then suddenly, the phone in your hand vibrates, short and abrupt. The bar slides down from the top of your screen reading New Message from Tete. Surprised, you scramble to open it, maybe a bit too desperately for you to be proud of.

04:11

Tete: bby

You blink at those three letters, lips pressed together because your heart is cinching.

Tete: ur prob aslep rn but

Tete: i missu

Tete: <334

The typos indicate that he is wasted, and you take a guess that he has just returned from their last night out of the holiday. The corners of your lips turn up knowing that he is thinking of you right now.

You: no im awake

Your fingers are itching to reply with i miss u too, and it takes all your willpower and stubbornness to stay true to your steadfast self. There is just something so unpleasantly moist about these kinds of texts, something that makes you cringe and gag when you read them. You refuse to be one of those people. A heart is all that you allow yourself to reply.

You: <3

You: r u drunk?

Tete: drunk in love

Tete: yes

A giggle escapes you at his god awful cheesiness - drunk, sober alike. Insufferable. But probably Taehyung’s most endearing quality.

You: did u have fun!!

Tete: yeah

Tete: but i miss u

Tete: more than i had fun

God, you feel like a teenager again, suddenly overcome with this gushing urge to roll over and scream into your pillow. You’re glad he’s merely texting this to you right now because if he had said this to you face to face, your skin would most definitely stain scarlet from neck to hairline, scalding to the touch. Even months into officially being his girlfriend, these curveballs of overwhelming affection throw you off guard.

Again, the compulsion to tell him you miss him too yanks at your heartstrings. You truly don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to say how you feel, let yourself be soft and vulnerable. You know it’s one of your flaws so it’s something that you’re working on, but you can’t say you’ve made much progress.

But just as you decide that maybe you should take the plunge, suck it up and just text him those three words, he sends you a picture.

Tete:

No, not just a picture. A selfie, of him in bed, shirtless under the covers. “Oh, fuck…”

Hand clasped over your mouth to prevent any sound from involuntarily escaping, it takes a moment for your breath to return to you and for you to stop gawking. At this hour… Really? Is he seriously doing this to you right now?

His sleepy eyes. His messy curls. And his fucking nose mole.

The undoing of your existence.

Tete: this boy misses u :]

You: bruh

You: bruhhhhhhh

You: taehyung

Tete: oui my lady :))

You: 👁👄👁

You: can u not do this to my heart

You: y did u send me this </333

You: what was the reason

Tete: coz i miss u

Tete: do u like it

Tete: :D

‘Do u like it’... Actually, you have tears in your eyes, albeit mostly due to staring at a screen for too long so late at night, but it’s certainly contributed by this selfie. You tell yourself you’re acting out because it’s been six days since you last saw him. Perhaps Taehyung Withdrawal Symptoms is the explanation behind why you want to print and frame this picture because that is definitely not a normal reaction to a picture. But this is a masterpiece.

You: taehyung my soul left my body

You: like i could weep

You: u look so soft and fluffy

You: :’(

Tete: lollll

Tete: simp

This boy has some nerve?! Simp! He called you a simp?! Laughing like a maniac, you can’t even pretend to be mad at him, not after this picture he sent anyway. So you guess you are a simp. This selfie is your kryptonite.

Tete: jkjkkkkk

You: hahahaha

You: y r u doing this to me

You: its 4am

You: u can’t send me this rn

You: i won’t be able to sleep

Tete: o yeah how come ur still up?

Tete: go to sleepppp

You: can’t sleep

Tete: aw no whyyy

Because you miss him that’s why.

You miss Kim Taehyung. You miss Tete. You miss your boyfriend, your best friend, your other half. You miss his touch, his smile, his wide eyes when he’s confused. You miss his morning snuggles and late night kisses. You miss the way he hugs you from behind as you prepare your meals. You miss the wandering hands that he can’t help when you’re out in public. You miss playing PUBG together until the sun comes out then both sleeping past noon. You miss taking baths together where bubbles would get into your mouth as your kisses get heated.

You just miss him.

It’s only been six days and you’re in this state. What has he done to you?

Fingers hovering over the keyboard, you let out a great sigh and deflate. No other reason offers itself for you to be awake at this hour; he knows you cherish sleep above anything. Teeth digging into your lip, you inhale long and hard, then exhale the gust of your cowardice. It’s not that deep, stupid. Fuck it.

You: coz

You: i miss u

You: like … a lot

You: 🙄

It’s final - you guess you’ve become a mushy wet sap. Truly it is embarrassing how big of a step this is for you; but the sense of pride and accomplishment feels oddly validating. Baby steps. The eye-rolling emoji right after is subconscious because you could only betray the core of your character that much. Forgo it and taehyung might not believe that it’s you.

Tete: omg

Tete: :D

Tete: rrly?

You: *blank kissy emoji*

Tete: wow

Tete: u actually don’t know how hard i’m smiling rn

You: simp

Tete: ofc that’s my middle name

Tete: i miss u a lot too

Tete: like a lotttttt

Tete: i’ll show u how much when i’m back

Ah… Of course, the Taehyung specialty - smothering you with his affection. You freeze at the thought of his wildfire kisses and head between your thighs. Nothing screams of how much you’ve missed each other more than a good dicking down, climax after climax until you’re both panting messes of sweat and entangled limbs. The anticipation makes you squirm under the sheets, legs pressing together.

You: pls do

You: i need u

It’s uncertain what spirit has possessed you at this ungodly hour for these words to come out of you. There’s an instant flash of ickiness, but you let the self-cringing simmer and dissipate into the realisation that this is okay, this is normal. Taehyung’s your boyfriend, couples text like this. You need to grow some.

Tete: fuck baby

Tete: i’m so not used to u texting like this, it's driving me crazy

You: crazy how *cat smirk*

If you weren’t smiling before, you’re definitely grinning like an idiot now. His reaction is predictable, yet oddly still, an incredible wave of satisfaction hits you. And because you want to savour this moment, maybe give him a taste of his own medicine, you send him a picture of yourself.

Camisole strap slid off your shoulder, hair splayed out, bottom lip deep red from biting down on it too much. Just to return the favour.

Tete: y/n

Tete: call me now

-Incoming call from Tete-

Laughing to yourself, you wait a good few seconds before picking up to prolong his torture. “Yes, Taehyung?” You put your thumb between your teeth to suppress the laughter.

“Fuck.” Against the silence of the night, the low rasp of his voice permeating into you from the speaker of your phone sends tingles up your toes. You’ve fucking missed his voice more than you thought. “Y/N… You can’t do this to me.”

“I told you, I miss you. Like… a lot.” The saccharine tone in your reply is foreign to your own ears, but you like the sound of it and the deep rumble it elicits from your boyfriend.

“How much?” Taehyung eggs you on. His words are barely slurred, so you gather that he has sobered up at least for the most part by now. Yet there is still a slowness to it that suggests

“Hmm, like… I touched myself every night at the thought of you a lot.”

A sharp inhale. Then silence. But you know better so you give him a moment to gather himself.

“You shouldn’t be putting that image in my head.” Exasperation is evident in his voice, desperate and yearning. You can imagine him now, one hand on his phone, the other sliding over his pants that are getting a bit too tight for comfort. Your breath hitches.

“Then you shouldn’t have sent me that picture, Taehyung…”

“You said it was soft and fluffy. What you sent me back was not soft and fluffy.”

“Just because it’s soft doesn’t mean it doesn’t turn me on. You do things to me… okay?” Heat trapped beneath the skin of your cheeks, your grip on the phone against your ear slackening as your thighs rub together.

“Fuck, I’m getting hard, baby…” Nothing gets him going more than the knowledge that he turns you on, it’s his weakness but somewhat his strength.

“That’s… unfortunate. Are you going to do something about it?”

His gulp is audible even over the phone. “Uh…” A sigh. “Um. Maybe. Thoughts are being thought.”

“What kind of thoughts? Thoughts about me touching myself and moaning your name? Thoughts about how much I wish my fingers were your cock thrusting so deep into me that I feel it in my guts? Or are you thinking about what you’ll do to me when you’re back tomorrow? Fucking my mouth until I’m crying or filling me up with your cum first?” Your hips buckle at the filth leaving your mouth. This is more like you; you haven’t abandoned your nature after all.

“Oh, fuckkkk.” His moan resonates into your skull, not quite as if he’s here with you but good enough to fill your desire. “Y/N… I need you so badly.” Breath ragged, you hear movement of his sheets in the background as he adjusts into a more comfortable position.

“Are you stroking your cock right now?” A warm slick oozes out of your own entrance. There’s something about Taehyung masturbating to you that elevates you to a different kind of high.

“What do you think, baby?” As you listen closely, you hear the slow rhythm of his pumping, and your fingers ache to pleasure yourself. ‘The things I’ll fucking do to you when I’m back.”

“Mmm, but it’s late, Taehyung, why don’t we go to sleep.”

“Wait, what?” The stroking stops instantly and surprise in his voice releases a smug satisfaction into your veins. The equivalent of pouring a bucket of ice water over his head right now. Teasing is an old undying habit, what can you say? “You wanna end the call now?”

“Yeah, we should sleep, babe.” Grin unsuppressed, you turn over onto your side, probably a bit too pleased with yourself at your success. Taehyung is an easy victim always.

“What the fuckkk?” Your boyfriend groans. “You’re seriously going to tease me this hard then leave me high and dry?” When you offer no more response than a sly chuckle, he add, “You’re so evil.”

“Save it for tomorrow, Taehyung. Think about it, we’re one sleep away from seeing each other again.”

“Fuck, I know. But you just got me so fucking horny, bruhhh. I thought we were gonna have phone sex.” You are still laughing at his whining, basking in the victory you’re holding over him.

“Taehyung, save it for the real sex.” The idea of phone sex crossed your mind several times to be honest, but you really want to collect every single drop of desire and longing and unleash it tomorrow. Raw and pent up. Nothing to dampen the fire.

A sigh of defeat down the line. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know?” You know. “How am I supposed to sleep now though? I’m so rock hard that it hurts.”

“You can figure that out yourself, big guy.” Your cheeks ache from smiling for too long; they often do during calls with him. “One sleep away, okay?”

“Ugh, fine, you demon. I can’t believe you sometimes.” He lets out another sigh. Your heart skips at the anticipation of how he will punish you for this. “Good night, I miss you.”

“Good night, I miss you more.” There’s a sudden change of tone with these words. Because you truly mean it. Sex and physical intimacy aside, you really just missed his voice, his banter.

You fall asleep almost immediately.

You don’t think you’ve heard a sweeter sound than the keys rattling at the door the next day. Practically leaping off the couch where you had been awaiting him in your Taeyhyung-less boredom, you run to the door.

As it swings open, heat courses to your chest when your eyes land on his, so full of comfort. Your boyfriend is home. Handsome as ever, much more tanned than your memory of him and much more attractive. White t-shirt and loose black shorts, a mundane outfit that only he could make look exceptional.

And as much as you want to sprint up and throw yourself onto him, your feet stay planted on the floor.

“Hey.” You barely breathe out.

Stay calm and composed, you tell yourself. It was only one week without him, it’s not like he’s returning from war.

But Taehyung doesn’t even reply, because in two long strides he is standing before you, bags tossed to the side, a sign of their insignificance in the presence of you. His arms find their home circled around you, face buried in your hair before you can utter another word. You don’t hesitate to return his embrace, holding his waist as you let yourself fall into his chest. He smells like what summer should, the ocean, sweat and young love; his familiar musk greeting you as if he never left.

Your lips meet his, strong and full of intent. He’s so unexpectedly soft when he kisses back, a timeless romantic dance like he is saviour your taste on his tongue.

With your weight leaning on him, he slowly topples back, stepping hastily until your bodies land on the couch. You fit your legs on either side of him as you burrow your nose in his neck and breathe him in, memorise him. In nothing but a large shirt, your bare thighs are exposed for his roaming.

When you pull away and face each other, you are struck by his beauty. His skin is sun-kissed and glowing, hair an effortlessly beautiful mess, the slightest hint of a stubble peeking through below his nose. Your heart belongs to him forever, you know it without a doubt.

“You smell so good. I missed you so much, baby.” And his voice… That deep baritone honey that you have taken for granted all this time - music to your ears.

“Imissedyoutoo…” You mumble, shy under his undivided attention and mercilessly unbroken eye contact.

With your chests pressed together, his chuckle rumbles into you. “What was that?”

“I missed you too… I guess.” Face flaming, you can’t bring yourself to meet his eye at your admittance, fingers twirling around his curls to preoccupy yourself.

But he cups your chin and turns your face to him, forehead pressing up to yours until your noses are touching, breaths mixing. “That’s not what you said last night.” Taehyung smirks, hands sliding down to your waist, the material of your shirt bunching up in his hands. “Do I need to remind you?”

“No…” You find yourself unable to keep your eyes open, your core pulsing mercilessly as you grind onto him. “How are you already hard, Taehyung…” And though you mean to scold him, it comes out breathless.

Lips hovering, he traces the edge of your jaw, tingling the sensitive little hairs on its way to your ear. When he reaches the shell of your ear, warm breath infiltrating so relentlessly into you, you almost lose yourself right there on his lap. “Don’t you know how much I love you?” He whispers.

“Show me.” Is all you make out.

His hands are already beneath your shirt before you even notice, palms kneading into your breasts as he takes your nipples between his two fingers and rolls. As he kisses you again, the same tenderness exchanges between your lips. It’s a different kind of desperation to be so slow and gentle, one that means so much more than sex, one that’s telling of how much you truly missed each other. Your hips roll with a mind of their own over him. One hand of his comes down to your ass, guiding the waves of your rocking. And each time his stiff clothed member digs into your clit, you whimper into his mouth.

Carefully, Taehyung rolls you over onto your back, sucking your bottom lip to keep the seal from breaking. He pulls away when he’s on top of you, and a string of glistening saliva bridges between your mouths. “Foreplay or no? Tell me what you want?” Compliant as ever.

“I need you to fill me up right now. Anything else can wait.” You watch the devotion ignite in his eyes. His fingers are in a hurry as they pull your panties off, knees spreading your legs open as he kneels between your gaping entrance. He tugs his shirt off from the collar, such smoothness in his action that your insides coil up. His newly-bronzed rich skin revealed, you can’t help but reach up and run your hands down from chest to navel, revelling in his blemishless ridges.

A low sound reverberates from the back of Taehyung’s throat as your touch travels down to unbutton his shorts. They fall loose. His hard throbbing members springs free, a glistening bead oozing from his slit. “You didn’t wear boxers?”

When you glance up, you notice his sheepish grin. He presses his mouth onto yours, still smiling, guiding you back onto your back. “I just couldn’t wait.” Taehyung whispers. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, especially since last night… Ah, fuck.” Another deep groan erupts from him as you reach down and slather that bead of precum all over his tip. His head falls onto your neck, writhing under your merciless stroking.

His tip brushing against your clit, your toes curls at the teasing of your weakness, hips jolting up involuntarily and perhaps a bit too violently. You’re so embarrassingly sensitive after this many days without Taehyung, and he notices from your breathless reaction. Smirking, he takes his shaft in his hand and runs his stiff head over your clit mercilessly. And as you roll your head back helplessly, he nibbles onto your exposed neck, faint stubble grazing your skin.

“Quit the teasing…” You whine, unable to withstand the build up of twisting pressure begging to be fulfilled between your legs. “Just put-”

Taehyung pushes himself into you so abruptly that you yelp. And there it is, that mind-melting stretch of your walls that you’ve so much missed. “Fuck, Taehyung…” Your entire core feels ablaze, so numbing that your nails dig into the leather of the couch before they find grip on his arms.

“Like that, baby?” His voice his strained, as if he’s struggling not to lose his mind as well.

Nodding because you can’t make out a word as he slowly pulls out, you grab his face and pull him up to meet your lips. You whimper into him mouth when he rams into you again, hitting your walls in full force, no mercy. His kiss doesn’t lose its sincerity despite the juxtaposition of his vigorous thrusts, though you can’t say that he is quite as gentle with as before. You pinch his bottom lip between your teeth, sucking on it as your fingers get lost in his hair.

After seven days of deprevation of his cock, your cunt is leaking with the fluid of your arousal, aiding in the ease of each plunge. You feel the stiffness of his ridges pulling you open as he slides in and out of you. “Fuck…” He pants, mouth hovering over yours.

“Let me get on top.” Taehyung’s eyes flash at your suggestion, instantly rolling onto his back. He slips out during the switch of position and the wetness of your cunt is assailed by a sudden rush of cool air.

You swing your leg over and mount him, watching him watch you pump his dick, your own liquid slathered over him sticky in your hand. Letting his member fall against his abdomen, you grind over him between your folds, hands splayed out over his chest. The friction created each time your clit would slide over the thin pinch of skin where his tip unfolded into his shaft has Taehyung a groaning mess.

He looks remarkable under you.

You push his sweat-dampened curls out of his forehead, eyes half closed in euphoria, half watching you roll your cunt so lewdly over his length. You know you could make him cum like this if you continue. But you want him to cum inside you first, you want to feel that thick hot spurt of his desire shoot again and again into you until his cock is twitching.

So slowly, lubricated by your wetness, you sink inch by inch down until the skin of your ass meets his thighs. This angle fuck with your mind; you think you feel him at your cervix. Then your hips start to do what they know best, pounding over him with a rhythm that you’re proud of.

Taehyung grabs hold of your waist, your breasts, fury in his eyes as he watches you ride him with such determination. “I love you so much.” He heaves between heavy breaths.

“I love you, I missed you more than you could imagine.” You huff, thumb running over his red swollen lips.

“I love when you admit it.” He sits up and takes the swell of your breast in his mouth, making his way to your nipples where his tongue relentlessly flickers over.

Your thighs are starting to burn, core aching because his cock is thrusting up into you so deep that you feel it in your guts. The signs are appearing - your vision is going hazy, walls squeezing tightly around him, tangle upon tangles knoting in your stomach. His are too - his head is slumped against your chest, arms crossed behind your back as he holds you close to him, whole body starting to tense as he begins to curse.

Pace quickening, you don’t let the tire of your muscles stop you from your chase. The slap of your skins ringing in your ears, you keep riding, cunt swallowing his cock whole each bounce. Taehyung breaks first. “Fuck!” He calls out into your neck. His cum squirts into you, pulse after pulse, your boyfriend’s hips jolting each thrust.

“I’m so close, babe, keep going for me.” You plead, knowing how sensitive he is right after his climax. He nods wordlessly, face still buried in you hair. The lubrication of his cum abolishes any resistance, letting you slide over him easier than sitting down. And not five thrusts later, your own coil snaps. You through your head back at the wave of pleasure that drowns you, your entire core on fire as your moans echo through the room. It takes maybe twenty seconds for your walls to stop throbbing and for the orgasm to slowly die down.

Taehyung is already growing limp inside you after his orgasm. “Thank you.” You whisper against his forehead while you dismount. His cum flows out of your slit and down the insides of your thighs, but he refuses to let go of you.

When he looks up, you are struck by an overwhelming sensationf of adoration. His long dark curls fall slightly over his eyes, in disarray but just the way you like it. His eyes are so full of genuine love and gratitude of having you that you can’t help but capture him with your lips. “No, thank you.” He mumbles against you, falling back onto the couch with you in his embrace.

After a long kiss of after-sex affection, you pull away before it leads to a second round. “I want you to know that I really missed you a lot. I can’t even call you a big baby anymore because I stared at all the pictures you sent me every night till the sun came out.”

Taehyung’s boyish smile melts your heart. You’ve missed him way too much. His smile, his goofy comments, his tender kisses. “My heart… is squeezing…” If his smile doesn’t tell how smitten he is, his eyes definitely do. “I missed you so much too. All the boys made fun of me for being such a wettie ‘coz I couldn’t shut up about you.” The thought is so endearing that you can’t help but hide your face.

“So how was your trip? Plenty of hot girls drooling after you?” Trick question of course, you know that for a fact already.

“Haha, it was good, fun. Bet you couldn’t sleep ‘coz you were trembling from jealousy.” Scoffing you land a smack on his chest. “But nah, no hot girls. Nowadays there’s only one hot girl in my eyes.”

Your own lips spread like a cheshire cat. “Shut up, cutie.”

“Rachel McAdams.”

“Let go of me. Don’t even touch me.”

A/N: Moral of the story, never sit on their couch if you’re a guest at the Heatwave house.

24/08/20

@taexxxiiaa @shookpreme @taetaeobsessed @tangledsparkles @nonexistentfucks @evilkookie @nbiased95 @shimtatae @taehyungmakesmeoof @itscalledgayhoney @tahaing @yes-another-wannabe-hipster-blog @deliciouslydisturbed365 @getmemyfries @expensive-bangtan-girl @jwlmnbt @herakimkim @dnyad @kaepjjang365 @angelswrld @expensive-bangtan-girl @icyi-sky @gingerpeachtae @spring2787 @monixreal @askingtheimportantthingshere @casualminiaturetimemachine @xblackclover13x @vasysauce @deadinsidebitch2412 @emiyooa @i-dont-even-know-fck @chimycthulhu @gixanjos @hisunshiine @xtaeyi @softjellyjimin @bluemooncnblue @malfeitofeitto @bangtanfancamp @keopitae @out-of-jams @camilaxpolanco @d-noona @haechanspudu @dawnispeace @vante-visuals @liquanzhe222 @bangtanloverrrrr @bs14401 @seokjoontae @comingjimin @jeonsshadow @honeyspillings @taeshotteok @embrace-themagic @wataemelonz @ftvante @kth-jae @sintatae @lunarnovaa @reputae @imajinative @haosmull8 @sssaltyasian @brilliantlybasicb @devilsadvocater @ladyartemesia @btsglitter @besosalvolar @jayparkjustchokeme @johnnyseotolemyheart @bubblegumyuss @octo-donut @ftvante @gia-the-mermaid @miss-peys @fantasticallyabnormal @purplestar00paintblotch @taetaeismybaebae @jooachu @bringitseijoh @bboyseventeenn @lpayne612 @misohime @petuliii @slutdropjin @kyelamarie

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catboyithaqua · 4 years ago

Note

Ramuda and Doppo :0

OH MY BOYS LETS GO

Under a cut bc long

Ramuda Amemura

First impression

Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!

Impression now

Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man

Favorite moment

Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.

Idea for a story

CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.

Unpopular opinion

This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:

I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.

Favorite relationship

I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough

Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:

Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,

Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok

Favorite headcanon

I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:

- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--

- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn

- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn

Doppo Kanonzaka

First impression

Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is

Impression now

Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love

Favorite moment

As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute

Idea for a story

Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!

Unpopular opinion

I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨

Favorite relationship

Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!

#im sorry this took me so long thanks for the ask!!!#hypmic

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years ago

Text

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up.

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not.

How many bedrooms are in your house? four.

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby.

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric.

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy.

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment.

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times.

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more.

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

1 note · View note

lashydsdomain · 6 years ago

Note

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

#mun chitters #you thought i wouldnt do it did ya fucker #shenktrolls #ask

2 notes · View notes

shslweddings · 7 years ago

Text

im pouring a drink already

Assume unless stated otherwise that these are kinda more referencing the tadashi that came into mutual killing, rather than... whatever hell development he’s dragging his ass through rn. even i can never tell where that’s gonna settle now. wyd

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Tadashi has a... lot of siblings (an older brother, an older sister, and two younger twin brothers), and they’re all decently close to his age; no like six year gaps or anything with him. Though he’s ‘eh’ about his siblings at absolute best, he was always closest to his brother Dachi in the sense that he perhaps got along the best with him. This might, admittedly, have only been because Dachi - in his position as the oldest child and the one most trusted with the rest of the kids by their parents often - frequently made sure he was as involved with all his siblings and looking out for them as much as he could be in this hellscape, but hey. Still counts.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Pretty good actually! His mother was always the better parent at picking out tiny kinda being an antisocial shit who never really got up to much Tadashi, and as a result was generally the one to give him the most attention there. She’s also the one that introduced him to photography for the first time in her own idea, so she was generally the one Tadashi, in all his goddamn proud child glory, ended up talking to and showing off that stuff to. She’d never become mother of the year, and could seem as detached from Tadashi as the best of them sometimes in his eyes among all the other surrounding crap in both their lives, but they did always have that link at least.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Limited. While both of Tadashi’s parents were pretty goddamn busy people, his father was even less available to him than his mother: his sister Sayaka had the role of ‘dad’s girl’ absolutely on lock down, so any free moment the man had was focused around her pursuits 9 times out of 10. Tadashi and his father didn’t violently disagree or anything, but they didn’t... actually get on a great deal either. There just... wasn’t really anything there to write about, to be honest.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Not exactly. He’s seen the aftermath of some shit that’s kinda hammered home some ideas on things, really, but that’s not the same as seeing the actual thing go down itself.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Tadashi’s an organised kind of guy (no shit), so you can generally find him with most of the things he needs for the day in a bag of some kind as opposed to pockets (with the exception of his phone and whatever notebook he has; he prefers having that to hand). But an average day outside of mutual killing normally involves Tadashi doing his job in some capacity, so you can usually find some odd job related items lurking in his pockets: dead batteries he dropped in there while changing them that he forgot about, crumpled up notes he tore out when he was done with them but didn’t want to just drop on the floor, something to write with. Not too exciting, honestly.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Not that he’s noticed- Tadashi doesn’t tend to remember his dreams, as he tends to fall asleep so quickly and hard for such short periods of time (outside the game anyway).

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

see above

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope! no gundash today

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Not particularly? Sure, he lives with a different branch of his family now than he did while growing up, but honestly in this side of affairs there’s not really much difference. Unless you count earning for himself more, which is... actually rapidly picking up. those high profile clients willing to spend a bunch huh

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

He generally ends up striking a weird kinda balance, but leaning towards the side of ‘more’. More clothing makes him feel more secure, in a way, because this boy ain’t that good at suddenly being touched never mind bare skin being got at all of a sudden, even if it’s just a stranger accidentally brushing his arm in a crowd. But there’s some things he’s more accepting of or prefers not being covered: he doesn’t like long sleeves, for example, because he just feels that it gets more in the way of him doing his job efficiently.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

it’s actually in game so oops

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

A distinct moment can’t... really be picked out, to be honest, because Tadashi can remain so damn calm in situations that he really has no business being. time to watch ryouji die over and over with a blank fuckign expression

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

He only gets a bit weirded out by the sight if it appears to be from a head wound, but even that isn’t too obviously bad. Tadashi really isn’t that bothered by blood. It’s just kinda... there.

fake blood that someone’s spread around for a case is a different matter entirely goddamn he’s still pissed

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Good at both, but slightly better with names. You might think faces, given his talent, but Tadashi winds up working with a lot of people, and he prefers taking notes to keep track of everything, so he tends to work attributing things he thinks of (like what he needs to bring up to a client next) to written down names rather than faces.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not really. It’s just not really something that’s cropped up in Tadashi’s life too much: not because he has a massive excess of money or anything, but he’s just kinda... accepted his lot in life, really. Besides. He finds he has a lot more shit to focus on in a day than deciding what the hell to buy for himself or ask for, because it just doesn’t really happen (also? Preferences are hard. Don’t take this guy shopping.)

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success: much like the previous point, Tadashi had really just kinda fucking accepted that this is where his lucky life had led him, so happiness was kinda... locked in at just sticking to himself and not being murdered or putting himself into a further uncomfortable position or anything? Jesus

plus success kinda always brought a bit more attention which does make him happy lmao

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

If you would count a disposable camera as a toy for a child, then that. If you don’t, then he didn’t really have one: keeping your own toys for yourself is kinda hard when you have four siblings, and he was one of those kids that preferred reading over anything else anyway.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition has its place, but wisdom; Tadashi can respect people he sees as actually clued in and somewhat logical and such.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

tadashi’s biggest relationship flaw is actually embracing getting into the relationship itself which leads into them being destroyed before they even really have a chance to start. oops.

(life is full of surprises huh)

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Tadashi very much tends to hop back and forth between self validation and criticism, really, both in the comparison of different things. The validation comes from lining up his thought processes to those of others; namely, those who he finds an absolute joke at the current moment for whatever reason. Crit, meanwhile... well. In the last (non in VR) year Tadashi’s become taken with the idea of making himself a ‘better person’, and this decision comes with the habit of comparing how he’s acting towards or in something to how someone else he considers better with people or whatever might, in some kind of harsh reflection. Whichever one he goes for is context dependant on the harshness and personal involvement of a situation he’s in, and sometimes one can lead into the other.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Difficult- Tadashi’s never going to be one to say he deserved something (with perhaps the exception of the self crit described above; he can recognise sometimes when he may have been a bit shitty or gone too close to a line), but he does believe or know that his luck is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE... but it’s not like he caused this luck himself. So maybe he sits somewhere inbetween these options here.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Tadashi really values someone who obviously puts work into actually thinking; it was mentioned earlier, but he respects logical people a lot, and those who actually think through a situation or whatever. He also enjoys those who can get on the same level of wry bullshit with him; Tadashi has a very dry sense of humour, so if you have the same sense of humour or can at least run with it, he’ll like that. As much of a good person as he might consider you to be, if you’re very naive and don’t ever really appear to think (or be a little critical, of people or otherwise), he’s... gonna get bored.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

this is too long a list he’s so bad genuinely with people

Though to actually get specialised and cut out what he might just, say, feel exasperated by or made uncomfortable around, Tadashi really doesn’t like people who just totally focus on themselves.. because they ignore him completely.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

slow

hell

Genuine trust is not a fast thing to get from Tadashi Matsuo. If you do, it’s because someone he somehow already trusts has kinda recommended you here. But you might not get it even then.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

In a natural opposite of above, Tadashi is very quick to suspect people’s intentions through... well, it might be faster to ask what not through. Changing depending on closeness is... weird, and depends on whether you’re getting mutually close with him or if you’re the only one putting in the effort to get to know each other here. He’s faster to suspect you if it’s just you pushing in. why is such a nightmare to get to know

26. How does your character behave around children?

As neutrally as you’d expect anyone to, really, though with an added touch of neutrality on Tadashi’s side: if he’s around children, it’s most likely because they’re at the event he’s photographing, so he kinda needs to remain professional and get the hell on with his job. At least he doesn’t snap at them.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Sarcasm and insults disguised underneath generic exasperation if he’s initiating it; if it’s directed at him first he varies depending on how much he’s been annoyed up to that point. Either way, he’ll get himself over it later by dragging you a bit mentally while he seethes, probably. at kindest

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

It’s a last resort unless it’s called for immediately, like him actually being physically attacked. Only because Tadashi is fully aware of his status as a noodle boy with practically zero athletic ability though, as opposed to having anything against violence or whatever.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

He... didn’t, really. Tadashi was always one of those kids that had absolutely no idea what their dream job was, and was much better at picking out what he didn’t want to do such as becoming an athlete of any kind. You could argue that the fact he’s very likely to be able to pursue professional photography at this point in his life would count, as he does genuinely like photography and he would be quite happy to continue with that (with the wedding shit at least toned down, maybe), but he didn’t exactly rock up to class as a kid saying he wanted to do that as his dream. Just kinda developed slowly really.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Not too much outside of standard things, really. Easily grossed out by having to put his hands in disgusting stuff, that kinda thing.

yes he’s still pissed about that fake blood

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

The ‘rest days’ he takes the day after working all of yesterday at a wedding feel very comfortable to Tadashi. Though he’s literally just taking the day to rest and recover from all the effort, essentially, it’s incredible comfortable just in the sense that it feels like the only kind of day he can have without any kind of work pressures, and no-one’s going to get on his back about it. He can really just leave all that crap and take a day really to himself. confy

as the mutual killing game progresses this is actually developing a bit because hey he... might actually like other people around?? goddamn

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Not going too deep, but any situation that involves someone being incredibly insistent on getting to know him, essentially.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Depends how the criticism is delivered- he’s likely going to feel stung either way, and possibly wind up kicking himself over how he’s been depending on what it’s about, but how it’s delivered really does affect his response (especially if he’s really just starting to work on getting to you properly and is relaxing into it more; that’s when he’s going to be the most naturally defensive over criticism of himself). As a general rule, he’s going to be more willing to improve with less of the sense that you’re just going directly for his throat.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Immediately move on. If Tadashi’s trying something, he’s more than likely to have tried to plan it out to some degree beforehand. So if it’s not working, he must have gotten something wrong in that process, and it would be much better to go back to the drawing board rather than continually try something that’s clearly not going to work.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

If Tadashi is starting to genuinely like someone, there’s a large chance that he’ll start to slip more and more into actually acting like himself, because if he likes you? He’s kinda picked up the vibe that he can be more comfortable like that around you. As a result though, he’ll be acting kiiinda tentatively, in the event that the person kinda just... turns around and says Hey Um You’re Actually A Pretty Shitty Guy. That aside though, he’ll be behaving much more freely in terms of being sarcastic and wry, and also he’ll be much more toned down in how ^-^ he can appear.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Depends on context (work versus trial, for example) and how worked up he’s actually getting if it’s the latter kind of context: he’s either just with the usual superficial polite act and actively trying to stop himself going further, or he’s a lot more scathing of the person than he would be normally right to their face. Very much a ‘I don’t have time for this’ sense.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Protecting his status. If Tadashi’s gotten to some kind of status, he probably feels like he’s put in a fucking lot of work to get there, and as a result would want to defend that place as much as possible.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Honestly it kind of depends on what the problem or threat is, and how involved he is with it personally. The more personally involved he is with it, the more likely he is to swing towards removing the problem/threat. If he’s less involved and just figures it would be pretty stupid to throw himself into this potentially dangerous situation or stay in it, he’s much more likely to just remove himself from it.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

When Tadashi was younger his sister thought it would be fun to throw a very defensive street cat in his direction.

Tadashi’s never liked cats since.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

As respectfully as he can, actually, even with the way he usually acts to people he doesn’t really know. He kinda gets the whole idea of consistently dealing with people you might not be able to stand.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Perhaps leaning a little more towards deserve, but not really either of them, particularly? Sure, Tadashi’s in a place after a bunch of shit in his life (or lack of it, in some cases) where he certainly would like to get some things, and might feel he deserves them at this point. But he also recognises that he does work in a field that kinda hard in terms of staying at the top of it, so there’s a sense of needing to earn things there.

Which is also kinda weird because he wasn’t really trying to become a HPA recognised photographer or anything and was just kinda accepting this job as his life but that’s a totally different fact.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Nope. He hasn’t lived with his parents in a while, but those who took him in are actually related to him, so can’t really count that.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Not that he’s acutely aware of, anyway.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Very difficult, but only in the sense of actually working him into a position where, y’know, he might actually say that kind of thing- both in terms of actually somehow pulling off getting into a relationship with him and him being absolutely sure that if he comes out with it you’ll... probably feel the same. It’s quite possible that he’s been sat on it for a while but just doesn’t dare say it In Case. vulnerable boy. He’s never going to be the kind of person who idly says they love a friend as just a goodbye or anything; if he’s saying it, he means it.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Nothing. That’s honestly it- Tadashi’s never been a fan of what he likes to call ‘otherworldly’ concepts like fate and such, and any kind of afterlife tends to fall into that category, so he both doesn’t really believe anything will happen whatsoever and he doesn’t really think about it. As a kind of result of this, he’s not exactly scared of it.

#welcome to fact hell #ooc

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starsocsideblog · 8 years ago

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did u want to hear pointlessly long rambling about ocs.....this is the post for u

okay so studying is killing me atm so i decided to use some chill time to chatter about my ocs…my kids….because lbr this blog is a mess of assorted information

stuff under read more

context? i suck at plotting and also gonna dodge some spoilers for now so all u need to know is that the story is set in a futuristic sci fi/urban fantasy sort of world (with some of those sweet dystopic elements thrown in because i love dystopias, even ya ones, especially ya ones) in which magic is a thing which a few people have (is it genetics? is it prophecy? this is why i don’t have a plot yet) but its sort of rather illegal to use and have because either a. magic users have put people in danger in the past and/or b. there is a prophecy that claims magic users will revive an old aristocracy based society in which those with magic had absolute rule and it sucked for every else so there was a revolution and honestly? no one wants that back. it sucked. mostly magic users have their magic removed and their memories wiped so they can start anew in society (although with a few restrictions for a while)

the main four kiddos are a bunch of late teens/young adults (i’m thinking about 19/20?) that have teamed up for various reasons to do some of that sweet illegal magic stuff and maybe jumpstart a prophecy that dooms the world but that last bit was an accident, and accidents happen.

first up is stella shields, who technically dates back to one of the first ocs i ever made??? (she has definitely changed a lot tho haha) stella is the self-proclaimed leader of the group given that she has good leadership qualities and is confident and brave and also very tol and swol, so there skylar

she has no memories of her childhood and is fixated on finding her birth mother, who she believes was andromeda sparks, famed/disgraced figure in prophecy. stella has no magic and believes it was removed as a child, and has been adopted by a lovely but kind of sneaky lady called tamara. tamara studies prophecy and such which is how stella even guessed that in the first place (also because they look super similar).

stella is a deconstruction of a heroic stereotype - she’s tall, strong, and despite having no magic she fights just as well as (if not better than) most of the cast. she even has the fancy heir-style backstory to boot. unfortunately, during the story…things…happen which deplete her strength and she has to take a backseat to the action, which tears her up inside but also prompts her looking at herself without a heroic lens and seeing her flaws/how much unnecessary importance she places on her status as a hero and her heritage

besides being obsessed with the idea of being a hero like her mother was, stella kind of has an ongoing identity crisis which she fills up with fantasies of finding her mother and dumping traits she thinks a hero should have in place of her almost “blank slate” personality (which she’s pretty in denial about). her character arc is about her finally recognising the way that she fills in others’ traits as her own and her growing as her own person and aaaaaaaa i love to see my baby mature

next is lina taylor, the problematic fave™ and stella’s best friend since high school. I’m not gonna lie i love lina a lot because she’s probably the first character i started applying actual flaws and consequences - as in, not 100% forgivable and pure intentioned flaws like being ‘too selfless’ and stuff.

lina is paranoid to the point where it hurts not only herself but others, and tends to lash out when feeling pretty much any negative emotion - sometimes her caution pays off, other times it does even more damage. she’s deathly scared of being betrayed and thus hates anyone knowing too much about her, lies about herself incredibly often, and will attack anyone who tries to get close to her if she feels threatened. however, she is a quick thinker and will immediately take a fall for her loved ones if she thinks one of them is in danger.

is lina a magic user? technically spoilers (eh…like its pretty early on? not a big one?) but someone dies and in her panic she brings them back to life. sort of. mostly. in that yeah, their heart beats, but they’re kind of (unknowingly) a walking corpse. her magic is of the healing variety, but explaining how magic works is kind of complicated in a character post rn….maybe later. just know that that sort of magic is a one-off and no, she can’t bring people back to life willy nilly (or even fully back to life at all)

honestly i love her character development as well because she learns that hey, she kind of is a pretty toxic person and has to work to undevelop these traits and make up for the times she screws up. it makes everyone around her happier, but it also makes her so much happier too (which i think she does deserve)

next is skylar ashe, technically good person? best known for doing his best, skylar is far and beyond the best magic user in the cast (main characters and probably even secondary characters too) probably because he’s one of the few characters that indulges in the slightly illegal hobby. skylar is well spoken and clever, and one of those people who has stupidly high aspirations at all times. he and stella have a rivalry thing going on, and they’re very jealous of each other (although skylar never notices because his self esteem is so low he can’t comprehend someone admiring him. he needs a hug)

skylar for the most part is a sweetheart (#teammum) and is a nice person to be around but can also be a bit scary given that a. he is very very manipulative when he wants to be and b. his moral code is a bit worn down in places. he tends to over-rationalise his own behaviour when guilt becomes too apparent, and can come off as cold. rip don’t piss him off mostly

skylar is sort of??? essie’s adopted brotherish person (essie’s up next!!). his magic appeared when he was a really little kiddo but his parents didn’t want to turn him because he was like 6. and thus a pair of lawful goods decided to buck the law for a while (like 10 years, which is a p good effort i guess) but that went about as well as expected and skylar eventually runs away from home, and comes under the care of essie’s mums. this is partially why skylar gets so much of his self worth from magic because despite the fact that it kind of screwed up his family it’s one of the few things he’s good at - he spent years and years practising so he could bottle it up (btw his magic is illusion and telekinetically based)

listen just give this kid some history books and a quiet room and he will be the most happy ever, and probably give you a hug and buy you lunch. his heart is in the right place most of the time and he does try to act in altruistic ways. that whole self-rationalising thing gets challenged a LOT throughout the story likethetimeheaccidentallykilledsomeonebutdontworryaboutthat and honestly? boy learns that no, you don’t need magic abilities/fun illegal hobbies 2 b kewl. u just need to love urself xx

fINALLY IS ESSIE IM LOVE HER TBH. vanessa mayford, known gay, and also part of the magic squad made up of skylar and a few other characters. a dancer by day and the voice of reason™ by night. except she’s not really that great of a voice of reason per se given that her response to “is that illegal” is “did u mean a challenge"

essie is very extroverted and a bit (a lot) of an attention seeker - if she’s there she’s mostly in it for the thrills. even if she’s not the best with reasonable advice (see above) she’s a bit of a bleeding heart and will always give someone a hug and a pep talk if they need it. on one hand she’s got her super overdramatic flair going on but also on the other she’s occasionally chill?? like she’ll do dumb stuff just for fun but is also pretty much unfazed by anything. a dragon or something could be staring her in the face and she’d just be like “can i jump high enough to kick it in the nose”

alas, as is the way with many loud people, she has pretty low self confidence and relies on the validation of others to feel like she’s accomplished anything in her life (which is one reason why she’s always trying to get people’s attention). she feels very unfulfilled with how her life is going despite still being very young, and thus is driven by the fatal american need to have a pretty good time to do reckless things just for the adrenaline rush - everything is a performance for her. she also hates conflict within her own group of friends, and sometimes brushes things under the rug if she thinks it’ll cause a problem, electing to try to deal with it herself.

essie’s magic has been a bit fiddly given that the rules change depending on the rules of magic (which tend to change from setting to setting). her magic is atm shapeshifting but the rules of it are getting a bit confusing so I’m thinking about changing it a little bit. whatever her magic is, she cares the least about magic and thus while she has a lot of raw power she can’t be bothered training to increase it (if she did, she’d probably outrank skylar power-wise).

in conclusion? essie is a babe and im love her a lot. she’s the charming, gay and flirty gal that we all need in our lives and one of my fave characters to write tbh. wins awards for best dressed, most likely to succeed, best dancer (she’s a cheerleader btw) and probably also prom queen. i would vote for her. she would probably cry but that’s okay

so those are my children i love them and now i have to go back to studying my ass off bye

#if anyone reads this: im love you #also like again. now thats theres actual concrete info on these kids here please ask stuff i might reblog some oc ask memes here #not too many tho i dont want to clog up anyone's dash #oc: essie mayford #oc: stella shields #oc: skylar aveiro #oc: lina vieira #corona's textbook

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