#for real they could have half-assed it with generic happy time party game tunes

[gender-euphowrya]

i wanna shake hands with the guy who decided the game about squids shooting ink at each other would have the best music you've ever heard in your life

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - Part 5

I was having such a good time.  And then...

Chapter 9 starts out with Corrin returning successful from her mission to suppress the Ice Tribe’s rebellion.  Even Garon is impressed, and makes some hesitant comments about being proud of her.  Honestly, this is the Garon I want.  The one that’s slightly unhinged, but generally does care about the well-being of his children.  You know.  The one with any level of complexity at all.  For a moment all is well, until Iago decides to be the way that he is and announces that Corrin didn’t do it alone as commanded.  Xander’s response here is kinda funny.  “That’s really shitty, Iago, even for your slimy ass.”  Or something to that effect.  Anyway, Garon’s slightly miffed, but let’s it go because damn, she did a real good job on suppressing the rebellion without taking lives.  Again, the Garon with some level of complexity.  Instead of just murder man, he commends her specifically for not taking life in the suppression, which would be cool if that mentality of “not taking life in the conflict is a good thing.”  Shame about the way this game handles villains.

You’re immediately given another assignment: go to...uh...shit.  I can’t remember how to spell the place.  Basically, he wants you to go capture a territory.  Chapter 9 involves going through a fortress that’s the remains of a dragon, which is held by the Hoshidans.  This is a fairly fun chapter.  Not too difficult.  Mostly Effie and Silas carry the day.  You also recruit Azura and Nyx, making this the best recruitment chapter so far!  I really like both of them.  It’s a shame that Nyx is at level 9 when you get her.  Her stats are, uh...pretty terrible.  Okay, really terrible.  Skill, Luck, and Defense are all abysmal, with Magic and Speed being her only worthwhile stats.  They wouldn’t be as bad if she showed up a few levels lower, but at level 9, a lot of her stat spread is unsalvageable without stat boosting items.  Which means if you’re gonna use her, you have to invest.  And I absolutely intend to use her.

The map is your standard Seize map, after clearing everyone out, so not much to report on in terms of combat.  After the fight, Azura explains that she’s stuck here because the Hoshidans, wary after Corrin’s decision, turned on her too and had her locked up here.  So I guess that proves I made the right call.  So much for family, am I right?  Fuck Hoshido.  Azura instantly joins up with you, since she’s got nowhere else to go.  As for Nyx, just to give a bit of info on her, she’s apparently a really old magic user who, for reasons unknown, is in the body of a child.  Honestly, if it weren’t for her outfit, she’d be perfect.  She’s sassy and fun, and admittedly I like her hair.

Chapter 10 has the group arrive in some port town looking for passage to this territory they’re to take.  At first, it’s assumed this port will be safe, but unfortunately for them, it’s now crawling with Hoshidans.  Fortunately for me, Takumi is leading the charge, meaning it’s finally time to kick his ass.  He goes on about Corrin being a traitor and all that, but what’s interesting is he mentions that some Hoshidans took Azura away, and that Ryoma was worried about her.  He wasn’t, obviously, but what’s neat to me is that the eneimes from last chapter were apparently in active defiance of Ryoma, who is essentially their king now that the old queen is dead.  At the very least, the Hoshidans are very disorganized.  So that’s funny.  Good job, idiots.

Honestly?  This is my favorite chapter so far.  I mentioned last time, I think, but while the developers of this game were insistent that Awakening’s weak point was its story (don’t ask how one can be so out of touch, I don’t know either), its actual weak point is mostly its maps.  It’s been a while since I’ve fully played Awakening, but I remember about 90% of it being “route the enemy,” with very little else aside from standard Seize and Defeat the Boss.  There aren’t too many weird conditions or gimmicks.  Fates, at least on the Conquest route, has given some more interesting stuff.  This one in particular is really fun.  You’re defending the territory, so you have four squares at the far north of the map, where your units start, that the enemy can’t reach.  If they do, you lose.  To help out, you get a bunch of ranged weapons near your position to help weaken, but not KO, foes.  There are also a lot of homes around the area that you can access to get some items.  Naturally, as with any defending map, there are tons of reinforcements.  What really makes the map interesting to me is that, so far, we’ve been using a lot of Dragon Veins.  Allegedly.  I don’t use them that often.  They’re not always as helpful as they think.  But in this map, Takumi activates one, and dries up all the water, allowing the enemies to traverse around the paths you’ve been defending.  It’s incredibly frustrating, but a neat surprise that the map pulls to make your attempts at defense even harder.  I know for me, I had spread out my units by this point.  We’d managed to put a dent in their forces and were alerting the houses and trying to push south.  But as soon as that happened, a bunch of reinforcements came in.  The only one who could continue to move forward was Dragon Corrin.  Everyone else had to start back-tracking to defend.

Chapter 10 also introduces three new units to our party.  In order of least to greatest importance, we first have Beruka, one of Camilla’s retainers.  She’s quiet and doesn’t talk much, but honestly was pretty funny in her debut.  Selena, or Severa for those of us who played Awakening, is the same as she ever was, so you kind of expect her to tease Corrin about being heartless for not remembering them, but Beruka joining in was pretty good.  Speaking of, Selena’s the other character who joins, and just like as Severa, she’s a lot of fun.  She’s a bit more mellow here, if only slightly.  A little more in tune with herself, perhaps?  Then we have Camilla.  She arrives, and is surprisingly intense about murdering dudes.  Almost a bit Faye-like, only instead of the love of Alm, it’s for the love of her sister.  It’s a bit disconcerting, frankly.  I go back and forth on really liking Camilla and really disliking her.  They just go a bit too heavy on some of her more intense traits, you know?

The map is pretty tough, but Corrin and Azura wound up kicking Takumi’s ass no sweat.  In fact, I first had Corrin do it, and then with save states thanks to Casual, went back and had Azura finish him instead.  Both of their dialogue reveals about what you’d expect.  Takumi’s just a butthurt baby.  After you win, he whines about Corrin’s betrayal again, and then gets a migraine or something and fucks off.  This is one of those “Camilla is great” moments, because as Takumi is throwing insults as Corrin, Camilla just goes “What a rude boy.  Perhaps I should beat some manners into him...”  Corrin stops her and says no violence, but we really should’ve allowed it.  Takumi mentions the Rainbow Sage, which is apparently our objective that I don’t think anyone has mentioned until now.  He says Ryoma got the blessing so it’s all over for you fuckers now.  Camilla lets us know that it’s fine, Xander also got the blessing ages ago, so the Hoshidans are really just one step behind.  Though depending on time frame of Xander getting this blessing, this would mean that Ryoma could potentially be considered stronger, based on them being “even” in Chapter 6.  Though in fairness, my run involved Xander immediately getting a crit and taking Ryoma out in one shot.  So that was fucking hilarious.

Chapter 11, we finally arrive in this territory.  We meet a nice lady who tells us about the dangers of the mountain the sage lives on, and that he’s been taken captive by the Hoshidans.  Corrin naturally hurries to his rescue, and the fight is on!  This time, it’s against Hinoka.  The map itself is alright?  It kinda forces you to take two separate paths and gets a little cluttered, but not too bad.  Azama is, without question the worst part of this map.  Staves don’t count as a weapon, so his special ability means you continuously take counter damage equal to what you deal to him, and he has some bullshit Hexlock Staff that cuts the HP of anyone hit by it to half for the remainder of the map.  It’s such garbage.  Thankfully, Jakob is very fast, so haha, idiot.  I did get special dialogue with Hinoka, though.  Camilla is just...so incredibly petty here.  “She’s my sister now, you lose, bitch.”  The amount of pettiness on display is unreal.  Corrin, by comparison, actually has a pretty touching conversation.  Hinoka seems to understand Corrin’s resolve, and doesn’t really pressure her the way the others did.  She’s not happy with Corrin’s decision at all, but ultimately accepts Corrin’s decision and lives with it.  This automatically makes Hinoka the best Hoshidan sibling in my book.  I don’t regret siding against the others, but I do regret siding against her.

After the battle, Hinoka recognizes they need to retreat, and makes a comment about gathering their dead later.  She is then informed that there are no dead, only wounded.  Corrin gave the command to not kill anyone in this fight, and announces that she wants to end the war peacefully, without bloodshed if possible.  Hinoka is taken aback, but flees quickly after.  Kaze, however, remains behind to speak with Corrin.  He’s impressed by her devotion to peace, and pledges loyalty to her.  Another new ally!  And a ninja at that!

We meet the Rainbow Sage, who activates something with Yato.  He tells us to seek out the Nohrians who will activate the blade’s true power and awaken it as Grim Yato, the ultimate blade of darkness or whatever!  Given that we already have two Nohrian siblings, I wonder who the two we need could be.  Honestly, I’ve been holding on to this complaint, but now’s a good time: it’s bullshit that the female siblings don’t get unique weapons.  Xander and Leo get unique, powerful weapons, as do Ryoma and Takumi.  But the sisters?  They have to make do with generic weapons.  That’s such utter horseshit, and frankly, kinda sexist.

Immediately after this, Iago shows up and again, decides to be the way he is.  Garon gave a command to kill the sage.  Corrin outright refuses, stating the obvious: Ryoma already got the power, we’re not preventing anyone important from getting it because everyone already has said blessing, you’re doing this for nothing.  The Rainbow Sage thanks Corrin for wanting to spare his life, but proclaims it was time for him to die anyway and just dies out on the spot.  So I guess Mission Successful?  Weird.

I was gonna cut here, as the natural end to a particular thread of the game, but I’m kinda having fun, so let’s keep going.  Chapter 12!  Elise takes ill from a weird virus thing in that territory, and we need to find help!  Garon gives another command, specifically, to go to this one place for rest and relaxation.  Oddly kind.  It also turns out this place is the medical hub of the world, so suspiciously fortuitous.  They group hurries there and fucking surprise, there are Hoshidans everywhere.  Led by Ryoma.  Amazing.  Corrin begs him to let her pass, telling him about Elise’s condition.  He offers the trade: Corrin comes with him, and they’ll let her pass without a fight.  Corrin, of course, refuses.  As she should.  Listen, I get that it’s war, but by now they know what Corrin’s about.  She’s aimed to prevent the death of their soldiers in every battle.  They know she’s shown mercy where protecting life is concerned.  So what does Ryoma do?  Insist on fighting, potentially allowing Elise to die.  Bastard.

Thankfully we get reinforcements in the nick of time, in the form of-oh fuck me.  Laslow, listen.  You’re cool.  I’m glad you’re here.  I liked Inigo too.  But Peri.  Motherfucking Peri.  She is the worst character in the entire series for me.  There’s no question.  Not even a close second.  Even Tharja doesn’t come close, because some of Tharja’s supports were at least endearing in some way.  Peri is just a little sociopath who can’t shut the fuck up about murder.  Xander, where the fuck did you find her, and why is she not in jail?  I honestly feel it’s hypocritical to complain about Hans when you hired Peri on purpose, you asshat.  Honestly, for your belief in doing right by people and wanting to protect others, I cannot believe you thought putting Peri in charge of anything was a good call.  This is actively a blemish on your record.

Fuck, I can’t do this now.  I can’t deal with Peri.  We were having such a good day, then this little freak-ass gremlin shows up and prattles on about stabface of whatever the fuck, and now I’m just angry.  I’ll deal with her later.

[legendofgrump]

OC Breakdown: Your Guide to Which Fucked Up Dorks to Love and Which Ones to Hate

This is gonna be a looooong post but if you’re interested in my OCs then buckle up because I think you might like it! I’m just gonna give you guys some little blurbs about who’s who, since I’ve gotten a ton of new people that seem to be interested since the last time I explained it. Under a cut because sheer length~

Firefly: Origin from an old Grump AU that turned into an OC, hence why he looks so much like Dan. He’s a harbinger of death who hosts lost souls in the form of fireflies and tries to help them move on to the afterlife by helping them accomplish whatever unfinished business they have. He’s very helpful and unselfish, but doesn’t take great care of himself. Luckily, he’s immortal so he can get away with it more than others can. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that he! needs! sleep!

Marianne: A big, 6′4″ spider-creature with one eye and four arms. She’s very animal-like, like a big doggo that loves to be petted. She kiiiind of feeds off of humans usually, but she’s curbed that for other meats since she became a part of normal human society. Now the biggest danger to you is the possibility that she might eat your entire garden. She’s very strong and fast, but also was kicked out of her homeland because of some heavy manipulation by someone she considered a friend. Now she kind of has trust issues with both others and herself.

Melanie “Snail” Rose: Literally never call them Melanie. It’s their birthname but they would immediately tense up if you called them that. Mostly because they left the name behind because 1) Too Girly and 2) it’s the name they went by when they were in a shitty abusive relationship with their last boyfriend. But then they chopped all their hair off, changed their name, and moved far away so that they could get away from that guy, so they’re much happier now. Plus, I mean, they’re a Sick freelance artist now which is their dream. Also a memelord with a massive sex drive.

Andy the Android: Originally named “Flirtbot3000″ and created by some shut-in nerds that think of women as objects, they were designed to literally be like a human sex doll. But I mean, they’re a robot, so they’re not actually human. You get the idea. But somewhere along the line, that went haywire, Andy had a massive glitch and lapse of memory, fell in love with a backwater bumfuck farmboy named Daniyal and essentially turned into a happy housewife. They love cooking and clothes and just making things Pretty, but are also lowkey the Mom Friend. Like they get Baby Fever really easily and love love love children.

Beauregard “Bo” Gray: One half of the Partners In Crime, Bo came from an affluent household and became a rebellious college kid just looking for a thrill. He got super into alcohol and partying way before he really should have and got tied up with this small chick named Esky. He gets into robbery and gunmanship just for the thrill of it and also because he totally falls in love way too easily. A dumb alcoholic that just loves love, basically. He tries his best, but sometimes he’s too posh for his own good.

Esky Clarke: The other half of the Partners In Crime. She lived a rough life until she decided to take matters into her own hands. She lives off of whatever she steals and travels the world trying not to get caught by police. She’s a self-taught gunner and pretty ruthless because she believes it’s either fight for what you need, or get nothing. But she still knows how to have a good time and loves to fuck around with people by hustling them in gambling or something.

Venus Milo Cordette: Venus is an alien from outerspace that came to Earth for an adventure and ended up becoming an international pop star. She tries her best to keep the fact that she’s an alien under wraps by hiding her third eye under her bangs and pretending that her unnatural skin tone is extreme dedication and body paint. But she’s also very unknowledgeable about the world around her, so she often fucks up things that any human would know (i.e. where she’s from). She’s kinda goofy, but super sweet and lovable, and very much cares about the people that are nice to her. She’s super curious and loves to learn new things about the Earth, but sometimes she has trouble retaining it.

Bailey Ames: A nonbinary buttkicker. Bailey is here to kick ass if you fuck with anyone they care about. Or if you’re just a general dick. Not afraid to punch an asshole for catcalling them. Loves their two girlfriends to death and has been with them both since high school. They’re a hair stylist at the local salon, but they also absolutely adore painting, especially landscapes and abstract pieces. They’re the type of person that will say hi to you if you look lonely at the bus stop and to start conversations by asking for your pronouns.

Megan Blackwell: She looks like your typical valley girl, and sounds like one, too, but she’s too busy getting her PhD in Quantum Physics to give a shit what you think about it. She’s overworked and can only afford college because of the tons of scholarships and the work study she takes on, but she’s not the type to give up even if it seems impossible. She’d much sooner chug 8 energy drinks and stay up until 6am finishing that paper than admit defeat. She’s typically very cold to warm up to people, but she’s very loving once she does and a very affectionate person who likes to be touchy. Also one of Bailey’s girlfriends.

Nikki Osborne: Bailey and Megan’s girlfriend that completes the trifecta of Polybabes. She dropped out of high school to become a rockstar because she believed in her little garage band of her friends. (The band is called Death Kittens, by the way.) The fact that she feels like she’s let a lot of people down by dropping out only pushes her forward in trying even harder and making things succeed. She’s the bassist, and by day she works a shitty minimum wage job to make sure she’s not mooching off her girlfriends. She’s a generally chill and relaxed person unless she’s majorly stressed out, but she’ll usually lock herself away if that happens.

Leanna “Cookie” Lewis: A cute, sheepy, trans boy that lived with just his mom growing up. He learned everything he knows from her, which is great, because he loves his mom more than anything. His favorite pass time is baking, especially pastries, and he’s a real whiz in the kitchen, but he’s also pretty talented at playing the ukulele. He’s very shy and anxious and prefers to stay out of confrontation, which is why he usually flocks toward more confrontational extroverts to keep him safe (though he doesn’t do it on purpose). He works as a little barista at a coffee shop, which wouldn’t be so bad if his coworkers weren’t actual assholes.

Blythe Abilene: Blythe is the Goddess of Illusions and lovingly refers to herself as “Aphrodite, but with the body of Adonis” since she’s trans. She’s pretty confident in herself, mostly because she’s literally a God among mortals, and sometimes it gets a little out of hand. For the most part though, she’s just a professional prankster, who loves to torture mortals with what she calls “Fun Houses,” where she essentially turns their home into a cacophony of small inconveniences. Anything from “can’t open your underwear drawer” to “coffee pot full of butterflies” to “all furniture moved one inch to the left” is fair game, but nothing too threatening.

Cleona Arkan: She’s an avid inventor, aiming to invent AI technology that’s better than ever. But she doesn’t always go through....legal means. Which just makes her a little bit paranoid about getting caught because she knows she’ll be detained and, more important, her inventions taken from her and used for who-knows-what. She’s very talented with computers and robotics alike, even going so far as to invent Glitch who, though not a success, is still pretty successful at other things. She’ll also help patch up Andy from time to time, if they need a little tune-up.

Maxim: A demon meant to take advantage and feed off of mortal anxieties. He lives on the other side of your mirror and takes advantage of that. He’s the most irredeemable asshole to ever exist and he takes pride in that. He’s so narcissistic that you couldn’t possibly hurt his feelings with words or remarks about his personality because he thinks he’s amazing. Though he is susceptible to well placed punches. He’s not above using anything against you, whether it be slurs or just subtle jabs at whatever you’re most sensitive about. Just the worst.

Gigi Moore: Based on old 50′s Disney cartoon style. She���s meant to be from the past, where things were much Different than they are now. She’s a bit of an antithesis to Maxim, as she’s also susceptible to saying things that aren’t Acceptable, but she tries to learn from them when she’s corrected. She used to be a 50s housewife to her husband before she ended up where she is now, but comes to find out she’s actually a very repressed lesbian. At first she has a hard time coming to terms with it, but being around positive influences helps her to learn and better herself and actually accept herself for who she is.

The Glitch: Cleona’s invention. She’s got an old CRT monitor for a head and four arms, but, as exemplified by her name, she doesn’t exactly do what she’s supposed to. She was designed to be a cleaning robot, made perfectly for cleaning up anything and everything. Except....she’s not waterproof and, the first time Cleona tried to get her to do some dishes, she got water in her circuits and it made her flip out. She’s constantly having an identity crisis and just wants to be useful, but honestly she’s not sure how to do it since she can’t do what she was made for.

Rory of Rine: Rory was born in some kind of Legend of Zelda, High Fantasy bullshit land in a village full of normal people. Except that he’s a special person who was born with the unfortunate ability to see how someone will die the first time they touch him. For the longest time it plagued him, but eventually he fessed up and told his grandmother about it. The two of them tried to get him help, but it only served to make his village angry and fearful, gouging out his eyes and then chasing him out of the village. So for many years he lived on his own, raising cows peacefully and coming to terms with himself. And now he’s slowly learning to not repress things as he dates Daniyal (along with Andy, it’s a poly thing).

Ellie Ross: She’s an empath with a strong need for attention and affection. She only feels worth for herself if someone else is validating her, so she constantly craves other people’s love, which is how she falls into Maxim’s hold for the longest time. She does a lot of questionable things that aren’t necessarily good, but all she’s looking for is to feel good about herself. She’s also got the ability to briefly manipulate people’s emotions, which helps in making people like her, but it only holds for so long unless she actively holds them herself.

Diana “Wolf” Lowell: A trans boy werewolf with a tragic past. He’s on a path of vengeance to find the person who killed his beloved Fang. Maxim promises him the chance to get that person if Wolf helps him out some, so of course he agrees. He’s driven by anger and angst, but ultimately just wants closure and to feel Okay again. He’s overly aggressive and, well honestly, more of a lycan than a werewolf, since he can transform at will. But I call him a werewolf so.

Ant: Ant is but ten years old and fell into Maxim’s grasp because they didn’t have anything else and he was all they really knew. They weren’t raised in the best of conditions (and honestly they weren’t “raised” at all), so they’re constantly caked in dirt and grime and blood. Which, honestly, they’ve grown used to and now it’s just familiar to them. Their use for Maxim comes from their ability to communicate and summon ants--hence the name--the best part being that those ants can then form a larger, rideable ant, which Ant has named Leafcutter, very creatively. They’re a bit wild, but just generally an actual Child, where they like to have fun and feel loved and useful.

Lyar (of Quadrant 85439): The son of a diplomat that absolutely hates politics. More specifically, an alien boy that is meant to take over the job after his father passes it down to him. He’s been groomed all his life to take over the position and become the next voice for his people, but he absolutely hates it. Not to mention, he’d be horrible for the job considering he’s a compulsive liar with no desire to be kind to anyone who has nothing to offer him. He’s more interested in fashion and, essentially comes to Earth to get away from his family. He doesn’t have a mouth, so his main mode of communication is ASL, which he learned as part of his training to communicate with other planets. (He knows roughly 8,000 different languages, though not all of them Well.)

Arthur “Artie” Jackson: A simple boy with a simple dream to become a world famous hockey player. Except it took him the longest time to realize he was gay and now he’s Really Nervous About It. His best friend Jade, who used to be his girlfriend, is the only other person who really knows about it and he’d never dare to tell his team for fear of the repercussions. But he’s very dedicated to his sport and keeps dragging out his college years because he keeps getting offered scholarships if he stays “just one more year.” Also he drives a motorcycle which is super cool.

Adara of Derva: Adara is a faun who was raised in a simple village to a simple family. Except that a great evil was foretold for their village and their older sister, Jaya, would be the one to save it. Except Jaya was selfish and went off on an adventure before she could get the power necessary to do the saving, so Adara was saddled with her destiny instead. They were gifted magical fire powers from a local witch and trained to use them, but when the time came to defeat the beast, they couldn’t bring themselves to do it in time and their whole village was destroyed. They spent the rest of their life looking for a new place to settle down and trying to move past their own mistakes.

King Balthazar Leviarn III: He’s a young king, but a king nonetheless. His father died far too soon in a war for the kingdom and Balthazar took the throne, though his mother still assists him in governing. His mother is much more cold and dedicated to keeping things running smoothly and effectively, rather than doing what’s morally right, whereas Balthazar is a more caring and nurturing kind of guy. He likes to protect his people and wouldn’t hesitate to take the front lines in a war he believed in, just like his father had before him.

Dahlia Harrison: Dahlia is the lead guitarist in Nikki’s band Death Kittens. She’s the oldest of the four members, though only by a year and a half. While the other three are much more outward with their emotions, Dahlia is a more quiet and thoughtful type. That being said, if you make her mad, she has a cold fury that will literally ruin you from the inside out. The only person she’s overtly open and emotional with is her girlfriend Toshiko.

Toshiko Koizumi: Lead singer of Death Kittens and probably the least assuming one of the group. She’s very much into cutesy and sweet things more than typically punk things. And she definitely dresses as such, too. But the band happily accepts her and knows that she can lay down some sick bars about angsty emotions. She was born in Japan, but moved to America with her dad after her parents got divorced. She still has a great relationship with her mom, but they don’t get to see each other as often since she’s still in Japan. But she’s also a very extroverted and friendly girl that loves to chat to people about whatever they’re interested in, and she loves her girlfriend Dahlia to death.

Cynthia “Cynth” Woods: The very small, but very high energy drummer of Death Kittens. She’s the one that came up with the name and is constantly coming up with new ideas about the band in general. She’s probably the most actively dedicated (though none of the others are apathetic toward the band at all). She’s fiery and a bit prideful, but definitely deserves to be with how talented she is at her craft. She’s even perfected drumming with four drumsticks at once, as ridiculous as it sounds. Still, Cynth is a good and loyal friend that will stomp your organs in if you fuck with her or someone she cares about.

Lorna: Lorna is similar to Maxim in terms of origin. She also comes from the land behind your mirror, but she’s a personification of depression instead of anxiety. She’s much less aggressive, but also very compelling when it comes to convincing you that everything would be better if you just slept it all away (or worse). She’s extremely unmotivated to do things unless they adhere to some stupid impulse that may or may not be harmful to herself. But she’s a generally kind person who really just needs some love in her life. Unfortunately, the kind of love she doesn’t need is the massive crush Maxim has on her.

Ethan Parks: Ethan is one of Snail’s friends from art school. He was a graphic design major that lived for making things look clean and Super Cool. He was a little bit of a lazy ass when it came to college, waiting until the last minute on every project, but had that magical talent of making something amazing the night before every time. He’s a little bit goofy, but a good-hearted boy nonetheless, and loves to party and hang out with friends until late into the night.

Jack Hughes: Another one of Snail’s art friends. Jack was more interested in videography, cinematography, and performance art. He’s pretty shy and quiet off-camera, but once he’s got something to perform, he seems like a total extrovert. He’s not afraid to get the public involved in his pieces as well, even if it’s something really weird, but when he shows it off for critique or just because someone asked to see his work, he gets extremely shy and stutters a lot trying to explain it. He’ll definitely geek out about anything film related, especially when it comes to improv and camera work.

Kitty Dupree: Kitty is the resident studio major of the friend group. She loves painting and has always wanted to have her work in a gallery. She usually works with canvas and paint, but she’s definitely not shy about experimenting with different mediums. Her canvases tend to be HUGE and her materials can range from normal paint to literal blood, so all of her paintings are generally exciting to look at. Though she’s a big fan of abstract pieces, so don’t expect to find immediate meaning in them. She’s generally bubbly and affectionate, and lives life with the mindset of “friends until you’re a dick” right from the moment she meets you.

Jonah King: They were Snail’s roommate in college, and a totally great friend for them when they were going through a rough time. Jonah is a little softspoken, but otherwise outgoing and friendly! They’re an extremely talented sketch artist that fills sketchbook after sketchbook with gestures and people-watching studies. They’re almost always doodling, but also very attentive and good at listening. Jonah is just an all around great friend to have, honestly.

[coachjukeboxx]

I’m a pregnant roller derby athlete
 Part Three:  A new role

Being pregnant this season was obviously a shock to my normal role in roller derby, but it has not stopped me! I’m feeling really fulfilled in stepping into other roles within the team. While nothing quite beats getting to smash people on track, it means so much to still contribute and be valued within the team. It’s a big part of why I’m involved in roller derby in the first place, so getting to continue on being part of the team is pretty rad. LRG has a policy for pregnant or long term injured skaters which works out really well if you’re looking to stay involved. Basically our team selections happen 2x a year. If your injury/pregnancy is going to put you out for longer than one selection, you can ask to be considered as skater 21 (or 22,23, and so on). If they select you in this role, it means that you still continue to function as a member of the team, you’re just not on the charter. If you return in the middle of a selection period, you are still considered for the roster, you just won’t be added to the charter unless you actually make a game roster. It’s a really nice system- very understanding of real life happening. It means a lot to continue to be on my team’s forums, fb chats, and so on... it’ keeps me in the loop as well as having my support network easily accessible.  I coach within LRG and on the international team, have bench coached SDRD, and was captain the past 2 years on Brawling, so it was a natural transition for me to help out in these areas while pregnant. Luckily enough,  in the past year the WFTDA has allowed more people to be present on the bench, which means that I can actually assist in these roles despite the fact that we already have staff in those areas. 

Obviously that won’t be true for everyone so it’s not so easy to just “make up” your own role. You have to look at what the team needs, what your skill set is, and try to help out and stay involved. I’m lucky that I have experience in those areas of the game already, but if I didn’t I certainly wouldn’t force it upon the team to use me in that way. There has to be a lot of give an take when it comes to finding out how to work with the team. Being part of the bench requires a certain skillset and it’s important to recognize that the team’s needs trump your own need to feel involved. It’s important, that with any role you make take on within the team, that there is trust and need there, otherwise you might just end up stepping on toes. That being said, there are a million sort of support roles you can try to learn that won’t need the same sort of trust and experience - footage watching, stats analysis, being sunshiney cheerleader, filming at training, travel arrangements, or any sort of general support you can give so that teammates can focus on skating. 

Anywho, my role has evolved over the course of the season, so I think the easiest way will be to talk about it chronologically. 

Anarchy in the UK  These were the some of the first games since I’d been on Brawling that I wasn’t getting to play in (I did have to sit out of one champs game due to a separated shoulder). But this was different, this was the start of a long term thing. We had games against a number of European opponents for Anarchy and I wondered how I would do mentally with having to sit on the sidelines. Some of my teammates made sure I was out on the track with them <3 which certainly helped. 

As for the not skating part, I did surprisingly well. I really only found it frustrating to not skate when we didn’t play so well, or when the pace got quick. I LOVE to skate fast and do crazy stuff on my wheels, so when that happened, I had big pangs of missing being out there. Luckily, Esther Arocha has stepped it up a notch and started to play ALOT like I did (but in her totally own bitching way). Totally pulling of high speed stuff, and jamming like a blocker when she needed to, and then of course putting her shoulder into people’s hearts. It was a joy to watch her not have to bridge other people and be the one making plays. She made it easier on me not being out there for the time being. Getting to watch all my teammates kick some ass from the best seat in the house was really cool. 

As for being on the bench, my role at Anarchy was slightly tricky. This was the first trial run, and so I was to have no interaction with the players, only other bench staff. I can be longwinded at times, and so we were super cautious to have me jump in and give feedback to players. I def know this about myself, so it has always been in the back of my head when stepping into this role - it made it difficult to feel like I was being useful. I SEE SO MUCH I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. While I felt at times I was full of information, this was a really good exercise for me. I was useful at passing along info at halftime and between games, but left it up to Balls and Kev to interact with the players and pass along info that I had given that was actually relevant. What I learned during this tourney, was I noticed EVERYTHING. Not just the stuff we could fix in this moment and adapt to, but the stuff we needed to train. Having to wait to talk to players was really good until I learned that lesson more thoroughly. Some stuff just isn’t useful to relay because it has to get trained. Walking away from that weekend I had a much better understanding of which type of info was good to pass along on the bench. I also came away having been a part of the experience, while looking so fancy with Lexi on the bench. Both newly preggo :) and supporting the team...  that was pretty special. 

Brawling Tour in Portland Fast forward to June... by this point we had a few things shake up on the team. Balls was out for champs because of my due date and decided it was time to step down from leadership. Kev stepped into the bench role and Freya came on as our lineup staff. We also had some other inquiries to join our team, and so we brought on Coach Lime from Canada for a trial run on tour. With so many new faces in leadership, and on the team, we all had to adapt quickly. Leadership used their support staff quite smartly, and opened up the forum for ideas from the skaters as well. This was a transformative tour for Brawling, and it was incredible to see the growth from everyone on the team, skating or not. It’s one of those moments and situations that can really break your season, and I’m happy to say that we have only become a better version of the team we were months prior. 

I went home to WI first before coming out to the west coast, so I missed the Rat city weekend. We had lost, we had plenty of moments where we didn’t play very well that first game. But...we learned, and we did what Brawling does best - we were problem solvers. This very much tied into my role on the bench. My role for this tour was to give all the info that would be useful to the players. Basically, passing along things as I see trends, just like I typically did when I was playing. The big change now, was that I was very fluidly passing along that info to relevant parties in time for them to use it. My goal was not to do the thinking for the newer bench staff, but for them to learn the type of things to look for and to know the details that I knew about the players. I think we managed to do just that. It was a pretty seamless transition taking this new role where I was unrestricted. I was able to drop off info I noticed to kev and freya, let them use that info as they see fit... and then making the choice myself if there was a tactical/strategy change to pass it along to the players directly. Often times it’s really easy to see what you’re doing well when playing, but it’s harder to see what the opposition is doing or changing. I was able to facilitate other people to do their jobs more easily by offering consulting if they needed it. The other thing that was really great, was just being there... with my team, in the mix. We all felt all of the game. We were a part of prep and each play and the strategy. It felt so great and gratifying to give any sort of extra useful info to the team, especially in real time. 

Playoffs and Beyond Now as we head into the rest of the season I fully intend to continue in this role, supporting in coaching at training and on the bench as needed.I’m still skating and listening to my body, but in general, whatever I can do to help the team, is my main priority in this time. Flexing my strategy brain  and keeping intimately involved this whole season has kept me sane in so many ways.   I obviously won’t be able to make it to champs because I’ll be at my OWN champs - birth champs. But I’ve got my ticket booked for Malmo and am pretty stoked to get to help out and attend playoffs.  Now I just have to hope there aren’t too many stoppages in play during the half, because that’s about all my bladder can handle these days. Tune in next time for something completely different - not sure which is up next.. but I know I want to chat about pelvic floors and body changes, hypnobirthing, and eventually the birth and aftermath!

[ryntaia]

hey this is the anon that asked for the mario party prompt! ;_; first, I wish to apologize if I bought back any bad memories from your childhood. second, if can be any game, I just want to read about Futaba losing to a game to Yusuke and getting salty about it. It could be any game of your choosing, or you can make one up! Hope your day/evening is going well!

Oh gosh no it wasn’t any bad memories, I have plenty of gaming memories despite that! Got a good ol’ 30 dollar Playstation that didn’t work half the time but I LOVED THAT THING AND my memories are still very good. Don’t you worry. 

Well my personal favorites are fighting games! Soul Calibur is a personal favorite of mine but let’s go with a...classic instead. Warning: this story is silly. 

           “You’re cheating, Inari.”

           Yusuke lowered the Playstation controller to fix the redhead with an annoyed look. “I am not.”

           “You are too.” Futaba whined, expertly mashing out another combo on her keypad only to have it interrupted halfway through by a low kick. Her head fell forward dramatically as the pink haired pop star on screen fell backwards, landing inelegantly in front of the French butler woman. “Why’d you’d pick King, anyways? Guys usually pick guys, at least from my online experiences.”

           “She has a unique, aesthetic beauty. I couldn’t ignore such a thing.”

           “Of course. Why even ask?” Futaba also groaned, but instead fell backwards on her tailbone as she maneuvered to avoid another kick. She let out an annoyed screech as Yusuke lazily punched in another combo. Onscreen, the ‘aesthetic beauty’ unleashed all hell on Athena Asamiya, the screen slowing down before she hit the ground. A rose quickly followed, the winning character posing dramatically. “Ugh! Are you kidding me?! Have you played this game before?! You told me you hadn’t played this game before!!”

           “I generally don’t play games as a whole.”

           “Wh—”

           “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this machine before…” Yusuke commented flippantly, nudging the aging Playstation console with his foot. “They always seemed superfluous. It’s rather fun, though, I admit.”

           “Fun? You just beat me three times in a row in a game you’ve never played, on a console you’ve never used!” Futaba had a hard time concealing her disbelief and flat out annoyance. She’d played video games since she was a little girl. She considered herself an expert in many a genre, and a master of two player destruction. She even went by a special codename on some of the online fighting servers—Armageddon. Everyone on the circuit knew not to screw with Armageddon if you got matched up with her.

           Yet here she was, her entire team beaten by only one character controlled by a button mashing, stick twiddling first timer who might as well be whistling a happy tune.

           Unacceptable.

           “Yes, that’s part of the fun.” Yusuke said smoothly, almost slyly, as he laid down his controller on his lap and peered at her from the corner of his eye. The screen reflected off his face, reflected his smug grin. “Beating you three times at your own game has been very rewarding.”

           She halted.

           UNACCEPTABLE.

           “That’s it, Inari, your ass is going down.” Futaba almost growled as the character select screen blared back to life. Yusuke chuckled loosely and picked his controller back up as the redhead furiously flipped through the characters. Her opponent’s choices were slower, more calculated—though Futaba had the feeling that he was making his choices visually, not based on any sort of calculated plan.

            Maybe it was a good strategy, too, because he somehow managed to win the next four matches with the hacker.

           Futaba dropped her controller in dismay, staring at the flashing ‘Player 2 Wins’ screen as the rose fell down on her team again. Her head fell; how could one single player get so lucky so many times? It was just impossible! It didn’t help, really, that the King of Fighter games had been her favorite fighting games since she was a kid. She had just pulled one out randomly but she had a sizeable, enviable collection of the series. And yet here she was defeated by someone who had never played any of them before…what a disgrace.

           “She’s got such style. The rose is elegant, and the waiter uniform is complementary. If this ‘King’ woman was real then I most definitely would desire her services as a model.” Yusuke commented briskly; Futaba paused. He was doing that weird thing with his fingers again…except to the people on the television screen. “I think a nice rose red would suit fine…maybe a full red palette? She seems to like roses, but then again, those come in many different shades…”

           “…Are you talking about drawing FAN ART?” Futaba asked, grin suddenly forming across her face. Yusuke paused for a moment, looking at her blankly before a slight flush spread across his face. “Inari! Do you do FAN ART? And you didn’t tell me! That’s no good!”

           “I…it’s just…practice?”

           “Oh suuuure, I’m sure! You’re gonna draw Miss King, and Miss Athena, and Miss Mai once you get home, aren’t you?” Futaba teased, making kissy sounds as she lightly shoving the artist’s arm. “Perverted Inari. I told you I’d give you a basic course on doujinshi but you probably already know what that is.”

           “The, ah, the art is…nice…”

           “Hahaha! Oh MAN! Inari, you are something else. Tell you what.” She rattled her controller in front of Yusuke’s red face, tucking one strand of red hair behind her ear and giving him a devious grin. “Final round for my silence. If I win, I’m telling EVERYONE what you’ve been up to.”

           “You wouldn’t dare.”

           “You wanna bet?” Futaba stuck her tongue out. “If you don’t take the challenge then I’m telling anyone anyways.”

           “You wouldn’t dare!”

           And minutes later, the last of the flustered artist’s characters crashed to the ground with a shriek. It way okay, she thought, because a few more rounds for the Inari’s dignity wouldn’t hurt. After all, she had lost a few times, but this…this was a lot more fun than playing with faceless strangers on the connect web. It was fun to see his flustered face, even fun to see his victorious face. There was just something so much better right here, right now, about playing this stupid game with this stupid guy.

           He was still gonna have to draw her a nice one of Ash Crimson to buy her silence completely, though.

[keywestlou]

KEY WEST AT CUTTING EDGE: TUTU TUESDAYS FOREVER AND HANGOVER HOSPITAL

Key West is known for its funky ways. That is why people visit. To enjoy, to dance to a different tune, to let go in ways not accepted back home, to have fun!

Two new activities available. Add to the funkiness of the island.

One is Tutu Tuesdays Forever. Wow! Everyone can enjoy. Male or female. Merely wear a tutu. A short fluffy skirt. Already common at certain Key West events where as many males as females wear them.

No more waiting for a special event like Fantasy Fest. A weekly party. Beginning tomorrow, January 1. At Sunset Pier where Duval meets the Atlantic. From 2:22 pm to 5:22 pm.

Don’t ask why the strange times. Common in Key West. Several Happy Hours for example have off the hour odd number Happy Hours.

Food and drink available.

Going to be a big deal. Barbara Grob, who is involved in everything, brought it to my attention. Key West’s new Mayor Teri Johnston has endorsed it.

Buy a tutu and join in the fun!

Hangovers not uncommon in Key West. A ready made remedy now available. Intravenous injections to hydrate the body.

For real!

Called Hangover Hospital.

Procedure simple. Telephone a number to schedule an appointment. Any time of the day or night. Night time the busiest.

A “professional” comes to you immediately. You stay where you are. Treatment provided. Intravenous directly into the blood. Forty five minutes to relief.

Hangover Hospital advertises…..”Give hangover the finger!”

Last night a busy one. Enjoyable.

Began with Aqua’s Hot Dog Church. The lovely Laurie Thibaud bartending. Laurie hosts the radio show I guest on thursday afternoons at 4. Station 107.5 FM.

Enjoyed a drink with some lady friends and left for the Gardens. A short walk down the block.

Packed! Snowbirds in town.

Entertainment special. Debra and Patrick. Two lovely people. Appeared for years at La Te Da. Then moved on to another venue. Not sure if they are back in town for good or for the holiday. They are working La Te Da evenings while here.

Debra an outstanding voice. A capturing smile. A sweet woman.

A kiss and hug for Gardens owner Kate Miano. Jean and Joe Thornton there. Chatted with them a bit. Ran into Joe Pace. Have not seen him in years. Looks younger than when I last saw him.

The Chart Room next. John bartending. A personality! He is a draw in his own right.

As I sat, a lovely lady came by. Laura. Told me we had met 5 years ago. I apologized for not recalling. Husband Gary with her. They reside in Richmond, Virginia.

We chatted a while.

This is their third trip to Key West. Gary is retired. He was involved in something nuclear. I was impressed. Laura still working. In sales. They are staying at the Pier House.

Gary and I had a tie-in. He grew up in Syracuse. I attended Syracuse and maintained a law office there for years.

Bill Cody from Marietta, Georgia was seated to my right. He works for Lockheed. All he could tell me was F-35s. Originally from Hapeville, Georgia.

Second time in Key West. First time, 19 years ago. We talked about the changes.

The bar was one happy family. It was Bill who brought Hangover Hospital to our attention.

Chuck and Jina Carrick came in. From Greensboro, North Carolina.

I liked Jina immediately. She was Italian. Her maiden name Amori. A lovely lady with an equally lovely personality.

Chuck has a financial planning firm. Their 32 year old son works with him.

Jina engaged with a bank. Responsible for mortgage services.

Chuck showed an interest in possibly purchasing a second home in Key West. I shared with him my knowledge and experiences.

Chuck and Jina had taken a bi-plane ride in the afternoon. Went over what we suspected was Ballast Key. Built by and entertained at by Key West major benefactor, David Wolkowsky. Ballast Key out in the Gulf 16 miles west of Key West.

The history of the Chart Room came into play. John asked I share my knowledge. I have become a half assed historian re Key West lore. Everyone attentive. Questions asked.

It is too bad so little is known about David Wolkowsky. Modern Key West would not be were it not for him.

An interesting bar.

Kentucky David and his wife Marilyn enjoyed a second home in Key West for years. Irma bothered them, as it did many. They were reluctant to go through another hurricane. Sold. Now, vagabonds. Traveling the world.

David, a Kentucky sports fan. I, Syracuse. Occasionally, we would watch games together at Jack Flat’s. The Syracuse game on one screen and the Kentucky game on the screen next to it.

No more. I miss those rare times.

David wrote yesterday that Rick Pitino was now coaching in Greece. I googled the subject. He arrived in Greece wednesday. Coaching the Panathinaikos team in the European continent’s top tier pro league.

I knew Pitino in his coaching days. He was a friend of Jim Boeheim. Met him through Jim. Pitino was also into horses. Owned and ran them in August in Saratoga. I used to frequent Saratoga.

Attended the horse sales one night when Pitino bought 2 very expensive horses with the blink of an eye. My son and I also played several summers in a Pitino run golf tournament. A fundraiser. Pitino’s brother had a rare disease for which a cure was still being sought.

I know Greece. I have been there several times for extended periods. Greece will love Pitino! And Pitino will love the Greeks! They are made for each other. A perfect fit.

In all my travels, I have found the Greeks to be the most friendly to Americans. One meeting and you were family.

Al Cotoia spent many years in Key West. Then left for some where up north. Missed. He is anti-Trump as I. He wrote a comment to one of my blogs…..The greater the degree of guilt, the greater the need to blame others!!!!!

Life can be tit for tat. Russia has detained an American citizen in Moscow on spying charges. The arrest December 28. A criminal case has been opened. No other details available.

Donald, your friend Vladimir does everything to make you look good.

Tonight the night! Happy New Year at midnight. I will be at Terri’s On Broadway show at 8 at the Little Room Jazz Club. With Andrea and Joe. Following the show, we will be on the street. Duval will be tightly packed. Our goal is to watch Sushi drop in the red shoe at midnight at the Bourbon Street Pub. Fortunately, a block from where Terri will be performing.

I am not sure I will make it to midnight. Late for me. I am generally in bed by 9 each night. Age takes its toll.

Enjoy your day! Enjoy your evening!

KEY WEST AT CUTTING EDGE: TUTU TUESDAYS FOREVER AND HANGOVER HOSPITAL was originally published on Key West Lou

[usamotorscycle-blog]

Whatever! – Armchair Supercross Racing!

Okay, I admit I’m pretty out of touch when it comes to Supercross. I enjoy watching sports that I slightly know how to participate in (even if it was decades ago), but I just haven’t ever been able to relate to that much flying through the air. I love riding dirt bikes when I get the occasional chance, but stadium Supercross has about as much to do with how I ride a dirt bike as a Saturday morning softball game has to do with the World Series; they’re almost not even recognizably similar activities. They’re really even further apart than that. I wouldn’t be afraid to stand at the plate and listen to a 100-mph fastball sizzle past me (doubt I’d be able to see it), but I’d be terrified to hit a triple wide open on a modern 450. Or a modern 250. Or a modern PW50. But it was Saturday night at the casa and it was the season finale from Las Vegas on TV with the title on the line, so what the heck. I’ll try to rein in my fear. Hats off to Chad Reed for still being out there at 35. I remember him being a little peevish 10 years ago when I worked for Yamaha’s advertising agency, so it’s nice to see he’s had a change of heart. Seeing what other career options are available does wonders for guys born with an uncanny ability to make millions doing a thing the rest of us can only marvel at, I imagine.

Sadly, there seemed to be little respect for the old guy Reed when he moved into third in the Final. I had just gone to feet up, Mr. Sulu, in the comfy recliner with fatty snacks and a beverage as the 250 Main was winding down. Charging hard from behind, after an earlier fall on the first lap, comes one Zach Osborne character on a Husqvarna, who needs to pass Joey Savatgy to win the 250 East Championship. Ain’t no way he’s going to make it. Or is he? See it in slo-mo beginning at about 1:50 if you’re interested: BANG! Okay, I was on Rossi’s side when he bumped Sete Gibernau off the track way back when, because from where I sat it looked like a legit accident where Rossi was doing his damndest to get his bike slowed and turned and didn’t quite make it… but Zach Osborne appeared to have not the eye of the tiger, but of the kamikaze; this was much more intentional ram than accidental bump. I waited for somebody to throw a flag or fire a Roman candle or whatever they do in SX. It never came, and in fact nobody was even outraged but me and my GF’s cats. Actually, the more aggressive cat, who’s an accomplished mouser, conveyed she thought it was a legit pass too. Ahhh, “That was a very aggressive move,” said longtime SX announcer Jeff Emig, “a very very aggressive pass…” From my La-Z-Boy, it was more a vehicular assault. All Osborne lacked to recreate the naval battle from Ben Hur was a flaming bucket of coals jutting out from his front number plate. Zach Osborne didn’t seem to give it a moment’s thought nor anything resembling an apology in the immediate aftermath, though he did give it up to the Lord Jesus Christ without whose grace and blessings he wouldn’t be here – along with a long list of sponsors. Consultation with a few of my more SX-savvy pals resulted in a split decision; some agreed with me it was a truly uncalled-for premeditated takedown, while others think it’s just the nature of the Supercross game. “Savatgy should never have been there,” said one vet MX friend. Possibly true, but if he hadn’t been, it doesn’t look like Osborne would’ve ever made the corner and would’ve wound up in the box seats. “Savatgy left the door open,” said another. Yes, and Osborne came through it and rode all the way through the foyer, across the living room and into the back wall of the den to take Savatgy out. Not to take anything away from Osborne’s actual maniacal and amazing charge from the rear, which really was one of the most amazing motorcycle feats I’ve ever seen. But it really was a cheap low blow that gave him the win and the 250 East Championship. And he should’ve been penalized. Oh well, man, that’s like, just my opinion. Let’s move on to the 450 Main Event! I think Ralph Sheheen said defending champ Ryan Dungey was up by nine points over Eli Tomac and only needed to finish 5th or better to clinch another championship, but I was swept away by Ralph’s “dancing with the devil of disaster” verbal flourishes and having a hard time concentrating. Dungey got the holeshot and led a few laps. When Tomac passed him, he wasn’t able to knock Dungey down but he did make Dungey have to stop and regroup, then get going again. By now I’ve figured out modern SX is like the last lap of Daytona. Instead of wanting to be in second to draft the guy at the finish line, though, you want to be running second so he can’t ram you off the track in a corner! Dungey the champ was playing it just right, happy to follow along in second behind Tomac and take home the big trophy. When Tomac mistimed a quad, though, Dungey had to pass him into the lead. Shit!, he must’ve been thinking. Sure enough, it took Tomac about three more corners to find a spot to shove Dungey off the track. But four-time champ Dungey’s obviously nobody’s fool and appeared to have a prearranged plan to re-enter, which he did, still in second. On the last lap and still in second, Dungey couldn’t help himself and passed Tomac again (maybe because Tomac slowed intentionally), looking back at him in mid-air and probably sticking out his tongue. Tomac had one last shot at shoving him off the outside of the track, but Dungey of course knew it was coming, stayed upright and finished fourth to take the title. Actually none of Tomac’s tactics were nearly as egregious as Osborne’s in the 250 race, but they were still obvious enough even to me, and as he climbed off the bike Dungey said he couldn’t believe all the “cheap shots” out there tonight. Later, after he’d cooled down for the official interview, I didn’t hear mention anything about cheap shots, but he did profess his undying respect for Tomac and all the other competitors. (Maybe he’s looking for a Kawasaki ride next year or something?) You get the impression everybody’s on notice that SX wants to attract more viewers by being more like the rapidly expanding World Wrestling Entertainment or UFC franchises, and anybody who’s not down – including the announcers – are just a bunch of big whiners who don’t understand how to generate revenue. I almost expressed myself on a forum, but I didn’t want anybody to call me “a queer ass quad-riding bunch of sandy vagina pussies” like they called these other guys who called out Osborne. Not being a real dirt guy, I have no comeback for that. The only thing I could find in the Supercross Rulebook addressing safety says, in section 4.16: No rider may ride in such a manner as to endanger life or limb of other riders, officials or the public. Osborne’s takedown was really the only incident I saw where somebody could’ve got really jacked up, but I have to ask, what ever happened to sportsmanship, man? The thing that separates us from the beasts. Speaking of which, the rulebook also says: Riders or crewmembers observed to be relieving themselves anywhere other than in a fixed or portable restroom will be penalized. Even when the takedown moves are only half-hearted, they’re still takedown moves. I don’t remember why I quit paying attention to Supercross, I sort of tuned out when my son moved on to other things, but there really is some amazing moto-talent on full display and I was on the edge of my La-Z-Boy through the whole thing. It’s always been a contact sport, but not like this. It’s a shame if we’re going to let it go the way of all that’s worst in America, the mentality that winning is the only thing that matters. That succeeding by any means necessary, even illegal ones, is acceptable, because Jesus is on our side, and everybody else is a sandy-vagina loser. If you don’t like it, you’re fired.

At least none of the little dudes in the KTM 50 race took each other out. I suppose they’ll have to learn, though, if this is how we want to teach them to play. But since most people are always going to retain at least a vestigial sense of fair play (I’m still an optimist!), and since nobody wants to see their child get hurt, I’m going to postulate that all the barbarization of the most popular form of bike racing in the USA means is that we can expect to see fewer players going forward. I hope everybody’s down with that. WAIT! HOLD IT! STOP THE PRESSES!! There is some justice. Not enough but some. This just in from the AMA this morning: Monster Energy AMA Supercross an FIM World Championship Wednesday, May 10, 2017 Decision of the Race Director, Las Vegas, Nev., Supercross On May 6, 2017, after the 250SX main event, a protest was filed in regards to an on track incident involving rider #17 Joey Savatgy and rider #16 Zach Osborne. After a complete review of the incident, including video and eyewitness accounts, it was determined by the Race Director that rider #16 Zach Osborne was in violation of the rule Appendix A.2.c.17. A2 General Offenses and Penalties The following offenses will be subject to disciplinary action by the Race Director and/or the competent bodies. This list is provided as guidance to licensed competitors and event credential holders but does not restrict AMA from invoking penalties for other actions detrimental to the sport that are not specifically contemplated herein. Riding on or off the track at any time in such a manner as to endanger the life or limb of other riders, officials or the public. It was determined that the pass was aggressive in nature and per the 2017 Monster Energy AMA Supercross an FIM World Championship rulebook, the current action in Las Vegas caused a fine of $7,500.00 to be issued. The protesting party did not agree with the severity of the penalty and chose to appeal the Race Director’s decision. An appeal hearing was then convened and all evidence presented by both parties were reviewed. It was determined by the appeals panel that the penalty was justified. The decision of the Race Director was confirmed and the decision of the appeals panel is final. No further appeal is possible. PS: I came across Dirtiest Block Passes on the Youtube. Not sure how old the vid is, but none of them seemed all that dirty in comparison. Click to Post