#for normal gert or au gert maybe!

[j1nxers]

OKAY i'm still kinda hooked on the idea of gert being some form of piercer for her friends so!! if u want me to write a starter for gert giving your muse a piercing then like this/send in an ask with what sort of piercing they would get <3

[xetlynn]

alt au claggor x reader childhood friends to lovers maybe mylo convinces claggor to confess maybe spicy??? thank you ❤️❤️

>:3 made this feeling sick as heck but so proud of it🙏

Arcane Imagines- Claggor

Confessions Lead To…

⚠️WARNING🔞: SMUT [arcane] [main page] prompt: in which Mylo actually has good advice for Claggor, leading him to a wonderful night. (I made it modern college au, just little mentions of modern day things) containing: fem!receiving oral, missionary, riding, anvil position, unprotected sex, creampie, slight cockwarming.

“Just do it, she obviously has a thing for you too!” Mylo tells his brother, hanging from the top of his loft bed. Claggor was pacing back and forth. “I can’t! I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if I make it weird?” He esperates, rubbing his hands through his hair dramatically. 

“Dude, would [Name] do that? Honestly, answer me that.” The shorter one of the two asks with an annoyed expression laid on his face. “I mean, no but it could feel awkward between us and then I’ll look stupid.” Claggor frowns deeply. 

He’s had a crush on you for months now, it’s only getting substantial. “Claggor, I can’t tell you what to do. But I am telling you if you don’t do it you’ll be a pussy.” Mylo points a finger down at the larger man who gives him a deadpanned look. “You were the same if not worse when it came to Gert!” 

“Hey, at least I’m with her now. I shot my shot.” He defends himself, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling. Claggor sighs, knowing that his annoying brother is actually right. 

“Ugh, I swear if I’m doing the wrong thing no one will see me for a while.” His shoulders drop in defeat, leaving his brother’s room to get ready to confess his long-time feelings. Mylo wasn’t paying attention, raising a brow when he noticed that Claggor left… ten minutes later. 

•••

You hummed in your kitchen, finishing up some chores you wrote down to do for the day. You had the house to yourself since your roommate decided to go on a trip with her girlfriend. 

You get a ring from your phone in your back pocket, wiping your sweat and you pull it out. Answering it without checking and putting it up to your ear. “Hello?” “Oh, hey [Name]! That was a quick answer.” Claggor chuckled on the other line. A smile erupts on your face. 

“Hii, Claggs.” You threw your rag on the counter, leaning next to it. “Can I come over? For a little bit. If not, I understand.” He seemed extremely timid which caused you to tense up. “Um, of course! I’m just doing those chores I told you about but I could use a little break.” You happily say despite the horrible gut feeling you got. 

“Awesome, see you in 5.” He hangs up the phone before you even get the chance to respond. You stare at the phone for a few moments, placing it beside the rag. You go to the bathroom to clean up a little bit, interrupted by the sound of your doorbell. 

Claggor’s apartment was two floors down from yours so you’re not surprised he got here as quickly as he did. You go to the door, swinging it open. You move out of the way allowing him to enter. “Something wrong?” You scrunch your nose. “No, not at all. Why?” He asks with sweat forming on his forehead. “You seem a little off is all.” You shrug your shoulders. He heads to your bedroom, you behind him. 

“What’s going on? You’re worrying me a little bit.” You mustered a meekly smile. “I’m sorry.” He sighs, drooping down on your bed. He comes over often so this is normal for the both of you. He was too embarrassed of Mylo so he deemed your place to be better to hang out if you guys weren’t going out. 

“Is there something I should be worried about?” You hold yourself now. “I don’t know. I’m just going to come out and say it so prepare yourself I guess?” He avoids eye contact, his eyes wandering everywhere except at you. “I think I like you. Well I know I do. A lot. I have for a few months now. I didn’t know how to stop them and when I tried it made it worse.” He explains leaving you in shock, this being the last thing you were expecting from Claggor. 

“I feel like a child, giddy whenever the smallest thing happens between us. It’s truly pathetic.” He laughs at himself, your lips twitching upwards. “It’s not pathetic.” You tell him. 

“I’m the same way when I like someone.” You sit next to him on the bed, grabbing his hand. “When I like you I should say.” You watch his face blush a bright pink. “You feel the same?”

“Yeah, I have for a little bit now.” You nod your head, keeping his hand folded with your own. “That’s crazy to me. How could someone like you give me such the honor of liking me.” He whispers it was mainly to himself but you heard. You rolled your eyes playfully, grabbing his face with your other hand. “You’re so dumb. You’re perfect for me.” You coo, slowly leaning forward. His eyes widen but he follows your lead. 

Your lips locking, the warm, soft feeling on one another. You deepen it by getting on your knees and unlocking only a few times to go back for more. 

Swapping saliva as your tongues tease each other. His hands travel to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Your plush thighs on either side, straddling him. “Hmph.” He breathes roughly after you nibble at his bottom lip. You go to apologize but he does it back. Making it fair. 

You grin into the make-out, grabbing onto him as you attempt to pull him even closer to your body. 

Your hips subconsciously roll back and forth across his crotch. His lap tenses at the motion but he doesn’t stop you. His arm is latched around your waist as the other is keeping himself along with you propped up. 

The further into the make out the more blood progresses to his boner. It’s now prominent enough for you to feel against your area. 

Arousing you both to a degree you’ve never felt before. The wetness of your juices soaking through your clothes. He swore he could feel your cunt spasm on him. He loved it. 

He wanted to feel more. With the arm that was around your waist he pushed you down gently enough you couldn’t even tell what he was doing. You moaned in his mouth at the pressure. 

Your head was beginning to feel dizzy at the lack of oxygen you were taking in from being too excited to breathe. You had to pull away from him to catch your breath. His chuckles at the sight of your flushed out face, lips plumped out even more, your hair slightly a mess. You were beautiful. 

“I need more.” You huffed out, lifting your hips up only to plop back down upon him. He gasps from the movement. “Yeah?” He asks with hooded eyelids, giving your body a once over as he leans back. “Mhm.” You nod your head and then all of a sudden your back was against the bed as Claggor was in between your legs. You squealed out, laughing. 

“I don’t have condoms on me.” He suddenly remembers, he goes to get up but you grab the hem of his shirt to stop him. “I’m on birth control.” You say, legs wrapping around his thighs since his waist wasn’t close to you anymore. He smiles eagerly, passionately kissing you. 

“Such a pretty girl.” He mutters in your mouth, pulling back. He takes his shirt off and you admire his body as he does so. He had muscle that showed but also such a soft adorned tone. You were obsessed. 

And if you weren’t wet before, you definitely were now. You followed suit though, throwing your shirt and bra over your head, throwing it to the ground. 

His eyes glued to your chest, a little too long in your opinion as you grew self-conscious. Covering yourself without realizing it. He takes your wrists, pulling them to your sides. “You’re too beautiful to be doing that.” He shakes his head. His hand touches your face, digits trailing down from your jaw to your neck… Lower now as he dances around your nipples before lightly pinching them. You whimper at the feeling causing him to smirk. “They’re sensitive?” He tilts his head and you quietly nod your head. 

He chuckles, now doing the same with the other one just to hear the little noises that exit your mouth. 

He innately rubs his crotch against yours, pushing up against you. You rut your hips up to meet him, wanting more. 

“Please, I want to feel you.” Your hands go to his shoulders, lightly prodding him away. “Alright, I guess I had my fun.” He sighs jokingly, he moves back a bit, repositioning lower on the bed. Once he gets comfortable laying on his stomach, face to face with your clothed pussy his fingers find the top of your shorts. He toys with you, heavily breathing at your core. You wanted to squish your legs together so he’d stop but you resisted. Finally after what felt like minutes to you he tugs your shorts and panties off of you. 

“I made you this drenched?” He satirizes, you frown, looking away from him. He snickers at your shy response. His pointer and middle finger pull your lips apart to get an even better view. It caught you off guard from the sudden coldness at your pussy. You gulped down your own saliva that built in your mouth. 

Claggor glances up at you as his own mouth watered. Impatient to taste you. His best friend that he had just confessed to. His best friend that likes him in return. He was so worried that you wouldn’t like him and now here you are letting him eat you out.

His tongue lays down flat in between your nub and entrance. His top lip above your clit. You felt his teeth rub against you and you wince in pleasure. And as his muzzle moves, so do you. You felt your body squirm as his movements were intense but so so so satisfactory. 

He somehow was paying attention to your clit and your achy hole at the same time. And to be honest he didn’t have a technique he just wanted to taste all your juices. 

His tongue slid into your hole for its last time before attaching your nub once again, this time it was for longer. His tongue swiped left and right to up and down. Writing his name at one point and then yours. He felt your thighs closing against his head and your body tensing up.

 “H-hah- holy shit, Clag… I’m gonna-” You breathed rapidly, grabbing hold of his short hair and practically yanking at it. He groans in slight pain but keeps his focus on you, only going faster. Your torso trembling upwards. “I’m- I’m cumminngh-guhhh!” You wail, accidentally pushing your hand down on his head, keeping him in place against your pussy. 

He doesn’t mind, he feels you twitch on his mouth. All your delicious sap flowing onto his tongue. Your hips rolling throughout your high. 

And as it was over all you could do was lay there, letting him go. It was one of your most intense orgasms you’ve had in a while. “Thank you.” He whispers as he gets up to kiss you. “I should be thanking you.” You pant out, his small hands wandering around his torso. 

“Mm agree to disagree.” He shrugs, pecking you once more. As his torso goes up your hands slide down back to the bed. He plays with his belt buckle, undoing it. Claggor gets off the bed, letting his pants fall. You eye his boxers that clung to his skin. The noticeable bulge that stuck out. You were ready yet again. 

Your own fingers go to your clit, it was now delicate to the touch but you still rubbed it slowly. When he sees you touching yourself he feels his cock jump in its barriers. “Restless so soon?” He beams. 

“I need you inside me.” You mewl, spreading your legs even further than before. And just at your movements his boxers were being kicked off his feet. You giggle as he climbs back on the bed. Your eyes stuck on his large member though. 

You figured he would be blessed but… blessed was definitely an understatement. You now worried if it would even fit inside you.

“Gosh, you’re too gorgeous for your own good.” He clamps his hand on your jaw, squishing your cheeks making your lips puckered out before he kisses you. As he leaned over his dick laid on your tummy. 

“You ready for me?” He quizzes your jaw still captured in his hold. “Yesh, scared ‘s too big thoughh.” You muttered through your squeezed cheeks. He snorts, not expecting that answer. “I promise it will fit. I’ll go slow.” He kisses you again before letting you go. 

Your eyes observe as he pumps his dick with his hand with his own spit. His mushroom tip slipping through your folds, hitting your clit a few times. “Are you sure you want this?” He looks you in your eyes. You smile at his question for consent, double checking even though you’ve already came once and pleaded for his cock. “I want this more than anything.” Your hand wraps around his wrist, helping him proceed into you. 

He hisses at the feeling of your gummy walls just being around his tip that leaked precum. Your chest heaved up and down with anticipation. “Keep going.” You encouraged with a nod of your head. He listens to your words, inching more and more inside. 

As he bottomed out you clamped around him, flinching at the string that you felt at first. Your face contorting slightly. “Are you okay?” His hand caresses your cheek. “Yes, one second though.” You stuck your pointer finger up, you swore you felt every crevice of his cock. He was huge. 

“Okay, okay…” You shiver out. “Start moving.” 

His hips move away before clicking right back. Your mouth opens at the feeling. Now keeping a steady pace. He grips at your waist, hearing your moans make him want to cum at the spot. Only being in your pussy for two minutes. 

“H-harder.” You claw him, trying to keep him as close as possible. Seeing this along with hearing your words his hands lift up your thighs around his shoulders and he presses down closer to you. Now in an anvil position. “Ohmygod!” You shriek, feeling him deeper than he was before. He fucks into you at a harder, faster pace. 

Your mouth letting babbles come out, words mashed together and not making any sort of sense. Claggor grunts in your ear each time his skin slaps against yours. Your toes curling above his head. 

“Fu-uck meee~” You cry, throwing your head back against the bed. The exhilaration, the adrenaline, the sex of it all filling Claggor’s mind to keep going. Hear your voice lighting a fire in his brain. No other thoughts. 

“Gonna cum soon, princess.” His thrusts grow sloppier. “Wa-wait! St… stop!” You cry out, his pelvis immediately hitting a halt against you at your singular word. “What? What happened? You okay? Did I hurt you?” He asks, forgetting what he had just said. 

You pause for a moment, taking a quick breather. “I um…” You puff, “want to ride you.” You tell him, propping yourself up on your elbows. He lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding at your words. “Oh okay.” He grasps at his heart, calming down. “What?” You furrow your brows confused. 

“I mean, I’d love for you too but you scared me.” He slowly slides out of you, your pussy now clenching around nothing. 

“The way you said stop… I don’t know. I blanked.” He rubs the back of his sweaty neck. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t exactly get my words out.” You nervously laughed, reminding him of what he was just doing to you. His cheeks blush brighter, not because of embarrassment but because it made him a little proud of himself for pleasuring you so well. That’s all that mattered to him. 

You got up to your knees and you led him to sit down by the headboard. His back against the thousands of pillows you have on your bed. “Comfy?” You ask him with a closed eyed smile. He snickers, tugging at your waist to pull you closer to himself. “C’mere.” Was all he said.

You climb back onto his lap. His torso was leaned back so you had a good advantage when riding him. Your feet planted on either side of his hips. Your hands held onto his shoulders as you now stood over his dick. Your lick your lips, practically drooling at the sight. “Help me?” You glance up through your lashes. He smiles, using his left hand to keep his member up for you. 

You lower yourself down on him, excited to be filled back up. As your ass fully goes against his thighs you go back up then right back down all in slow movements. He watches as your pussy sucks him in each time again and again. 

Then you get bored of yourself, going faster, bouncing on him. Your tits are right in his vision. His hand grabs at both of them as his other is laid on his own stomach, keeping it to himself. 

“Too good, ‘s good.” You moan out, gripping his shoulders with each bounce. 

The stinging in your thighs were slightly bothering you but you had to keep going. One of your hands that held his shoulders went down to your clit. You rubbed it intensely. “Fuck!” You whisper out, he can tell you’re getting tired fast. He holds onto your hips, helping you go up and down. 

Still admiring the way you focus on getting to your release. And all he wants to do is help you get there. “Get on your knees.” He taps against your hips with his pointer finger. “Hu-huh?” You look at him confused. “Just do it.”

You let your feet slide backwards so you were now back on your knees. “There you go, more comfortable?” He asks sincerely. You only nod your head, not rolling your hips on him. He lifts his hips up and slides his body down so it would be more comfortable for him. 

You fuck yourself on him. “Ooh, I’m close.” Your voice rings out, Claggor hums in response, feeling his own orgasm coming. “Me too, where do you want me?” He asks, just so he knows before he cums. “Inside, don’t worry.” You pant.

“A-ah, cumming!’ Your nails accidentally dig into his biceps as you feel your release. The pain only brings him over the edge, his jaw slacking as his seed spurts inside you. 

You feel the warmness spread within you. Feeling his cock soften inside. You kiss at his chest before laying down on him. Keeping him in place with his dick still stuck within those fluttered walls. 

“Fucking hell, Claggor.” You spit out, his arms wrap around you. “You were amazing.” He mumbles. “No, you were.” You lift your head up at him. “That was insane!” You exclaim, accidentally jolting your hips causing him to hiss at the sensitive feeling. “Sorry.” You chuckle. 

“It’s okay.” He waves it off. He goes to help you get up but you stop him. “I want to stay like this for a little bit.” You tell him with a heated face. He raises a brow. 

“I was hoping for round 2… But I want to feel you grow inside me.” You quietly admit to him. Now it was his turn for his face to heat up.

Flushing as he now replays everything the two of you just did. And you get exactly what you wanted. 

[observationaccusation]

Arcane discussion - Series 2

Spoilers for anyone who has yet to watch it.

——-

I’m glad I’m finally seeing some discussion around arcane series 2. I know I’m late to the discussions as I didn’t watch the most recent season until this year, but it’s still great to see it.

1) I’m not the only one thinking cait becoming what is essentially a dictator is something we should be discussing more?

We know we’ve seen Caitlyn is still influenced by her prejudice and experiences in piltover, but damn, they went right into it. She led a strike force where they targeted the chem barons etc, and utilised The Grey, something that had historically caused great issues for the people of Zaun and is something they fear. I get the strike force, it’s a heavy handed approach, but I get it (sort of).

However, her hatred and grief blinds her so much that she hurts one of the only people who understands that level of grief and hatred, and takes on the role of protege under Ambessa. That whole sequence, where people start beating their chests, sends chills down my spine. Through Ambessa’s influence, and Caitlyn’s own hatred and grief, the people of Zaun are further oppressed, further stepped upon, further policed and attacked. Yet, people don’t quite seem to talk about it as much??? Idk. Maybe I just haven’t seen those discussions yet!

Then she rather swiftly changes her tune when she sees Vi. I know we see some hints of her doubting the path she has taken, but she doesn’t seem to take any action to change it, at least, not until she sees Vi.

I’d love to hear what others think!

2) What happened to the firelights??

We know they paint ekko and heirmerdinger on their mural, but that’s about it. Are they in the sidelines after loosing their leader? Are they despondent? Do some of them join others in painting their hair blue and joining Jinx? What happens to the tree? Is it suddenly better after Ekko is back from the time warp? I’d love to have seen more on them.

Scar is shown quite frequently in it, is he now the leader of the firelights? In the absence of Ekko?

3) While I liked seeing the different timelines where nearly everyone (except Vi, Caitlyn, Jayce and Viktor(?)) gets a better life, it felt also not fully expanded on.

Did the years of oppression, conflict and divide between Piltover and Zaun suddenly become solved by the years between Vi, Caitlyn and Jayce’s death from the explosion? Since there was no hextech, suddenly the balance is restored? I feel even just some flashbacks of the progress happening might have provided some more fleshing out (not just of Vi being dead)? I don’t know. I just don’t vibe with the death of kids being the catalyst of change to years of oppression and divide (how many times have children of Zaun died before, and it meant nothing?).

4) the side characters, while I love them greatly, also felt throw away? Normally, side characters in Arcane feel fleshed out, they have a story themselves, just like everyone else does. Steb, Maddie and Loris felt… two dimensional?

I love loris and Steb, and I liked maddie before the whole betrayal thing, but it felt a bit lacklustre. Steb survived (fair play) and I think the sudden deaths of Loris, Maddie, Gert and more, were meant to show that in war, people die suddenly, quickly and often without fanfare. I get where they are going with it! I just feel they could have given a bit more to them, to give that kind of connection the audiences would have wanted, to feel that emotional impact of their deaths?

5) the time warp. There’s a reason why it divides a lot of people! Again, it was so nice to see what could have been. Trust me, Vander, Powder, Claggor, Mylo and Ekko all having joy in their lives, is something many of us write about (thank you AU’s), but perhaps, that’s how they should have been kept. In the realms of Fanfiction? Idk. I’m a bit sour on them, because they’re often shoved in, and not expanded upon. I think if you have a section about time warps, new timelines etc, then you should dedicate a large chunk to it. I know they only had two series but, in an ideal world, it would have probably been an entire series on the time warp, to give more expansion on it. Then again…in an ideal world, maybe we wouldn’t have even had the time warp bit. We could have focussed more on Mel’s story, The firelights, Ekko, Jayce etc.

6) Mel’s story, the black rose etc.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Mel, she’s a great complex character (like a lot of them in Arcane). But the black rose storyline feels sudden? I love the idea of her powers, I always vibe with empathetic powers being a thing, and she looked sick with the golden markings and everything. But again, we could have focussed more on fleshing that out, without the time warp stuff? I know we see some information about the black rose, but I could have done with a little more time spent on it. Maybe more hints of the slow creeping of the black rose upon Mel (maybe I missed them?) and Ambessa.

I’m hoping we will get more on her soon, she deserves that screen time.

Also, her and Ekko lost everything….everything was lost. They were left with little. Idk, it rubs me up the wrong way that both Mel and Ekko were left with nothing.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts… I could talk more about it, but I’d have to dedicate some time to sit down and write it properly.

I’d love to hear others’ points of view! I think you can love a series and still be critical of it.

[shadoedseptmbr]

For Aedan, 4, 19, and 45?

thanks for asking :D

4. Do they enjoy wearing socks/stockings when they aren’t wearing shoes?

Aedan actually usually wears socks at all times unless she's in the shower or on the beach or actively having sex. She's got a tendency to feel cold (even if she isn't actually) and also, if she's got her boots off she generally prefers to be able to slide right back into them. They aren't fancy, though. Just Alliance issue, regular boot socks. Probably in navy.

19. What is the most inappropriate thing they have ever done in public?

Murder? heh.

Uh. She's had sex of various sorts in dark corners of clubs and bathrooms and in the occasional alley. And once...maybe twice, in an out of the way restaurant booth.

45. Who is their greatest confidant? Who confides in them?

ah. heh. People like to talk to her, she's got a very open, trustworthy sort of face when she wants to, and a good file variety of "yes, i am listening and sympathizing with you" acknowledgements. As she gets better at friendship, she even usually means it.

As for confidants? She doesn't think she really needs them. Her life's an open book, no real secrets. cough

She shares...pieces. Anderson knows her past, if something comes up she needs to talk about there. Her buddy Gerte, knows how hard she worked to get comfortable around "normal" people. She and Garrus end up buddies, he's the one she tends to try out her "i'm really feeling much better" stuff on as she heals up during ME2. In the AU, Mark ends up knowing...a lot. He sees pieces of her no one else does because she doesn't have to pretend they aren't there.

Kaidan gets the real stuff. The "i'm so tired" the "I don't know if I can..." He never, once he gets his foot in the door, never sees the image only, never forgets she's a person and I think it makes it easier for her to be soft- open- with him.

[thegoodgayshit]

Marvel Runaways/Pokemon AU

Chapter Three is here! 

Or of course, you can always read it below! Enjoy!

“No. Absolutely not. No way!” Gert exclaimed.

“Honestly Gert, I’m going to battle her anyway regardless of if you say no or yes.” Nico deadpanned.

“Nico I swear to god, if you hurt my sister-“

“Gert, relax. I’m not going to go easy on her if that’s what you’re demanding. You need to calm down. Molly really wants to battle, why are you so insistent she can’t?” Nico groaned, doing her best to assert her dominance, even though the purple haired girl was staring her down hard.

“Molly is way younger than us!” Gert hissed back.

“I don’t know if you could call two and a half years way younger. Besides, you know the five of us were sneaking off to train together when we were fifteen.” Nico reasoned.

“She’s not as strong we were!” Gert didn’t miss a beat with her next excuse. Nico perked an eyebrow. “Actually, I think she’s twice as strong as we were.” Nico stated. She was thinking out loud as Gert argued, and seeing the issue from Molly’s point of view was really eye opening. The five older runaways actually had no reason to stop Molly from battling if she wanted too. “We only had Eevee’s at the time, and she has Eevee and Budew. She’s also been battling Chase in her off time, and I know she’s secretly been training behind your back.”

“She’s been what?” Gert was looking rather trapped now, realizing that her excuses were running thin.

Nico slid in for the kill. “Gert, honestly why are you so insistent she can’t battle. Be honest. She’s a tough kid, and she really wants the chance to do what Alex and I are doing. What’s the problem with that? It’s not like we don’t have the time. Why is it fair to let Molly waste this chance by not going for gym badges when that’s all she wants to do?”

Gert looked like she was about to explode. Or start crying. Nico knew the girl had bad anxiety, maybe she had pushed her just a little too hard. Just as Nico was going to apologize though, Gert took a shaky exhale, and slowly responded.

“I just feel bad for her. She’s so young to be living on the run. We’re adults, we can deal with it, but she’s still a kid. I just want her to stay a kid for as long as she can.”

Nico deflated. Of course that’s what it was. Gert was just looking out for her sister, but not the way Nico had thought. Gert knew she wasn’t worried about Molly getting hurt. She didn’t want Molly to grow up.

“Gert, that’s really sweet of you. Your heart is in the right place, but you have to remember that we are the exception to a normality. We never got the chance to live like most kids. We never got the chance to adventure and raise Pokémon when we were younger. Give Molly that chance now.”

Gert sighed, and gave Nico a sideways smile. “You’re right. I need to encourage her. If Chase says she’s a good battler, I believe him.”

“Hold on, did you just say you believe Chase Stein?” Nico was definitely taken aback now. Gert having faith in Molly she could believe, but Chase? The same guy Gert referred to as Protein Powder?

Gert flushed, her whole face going red. “I- I think he’s a smart battler! If he says he’s good then he must be!”

Nico didn’t want anything to do with Gert and her massive crush on Chase. Honestly, it couldn’t have been more obvious. As a matter of fact, Nico was wondering when Gert was going to accidentally slip up and reveal her secret to the rest of the group. Not like they didn’t already know.

Nico just hummed. “Ok, whatever. I’m going to go get Molly now.”

“You do that.” Gert said, she paused for another moment, her face retracting it’s previous red colour. “But I’m going to say it again, if you beat her up too badly I will kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Nico teased, giving her a lopsided smile before walking off to get Molly.

The girl was with Alex, going over a map they had snagged from the Pokémon Centre in the last town they had been. Right now they were looking around the clearing they had settled in temporarily.

“I don’t know if we should keep to the forest.” Alex said, “there are some weird rumours about that place at night.”

“I think we should go up that little trail towards the cliffs.” Molly interjected, pointing to some location on the map, “I bet there are little caves we can sleep in. The forecast in the town said it was going to rain for a few days.”

Nico interrupted their little chat, walking over and placing her hands on her hips. “Ok, enough with the maps. Let’s battle.”

“Right now Nico?” Alex looked a little annoyed, “we just trained earlier, why would we do it again?”

Nico rolled her eyes, “not you Alex. Molly.”

Alex raised a brow, but Molly squealed and leapt up from where she was sitting. Her eyes shone with excitement. “Really? Right now? Awesome!”

“Did you talk to Gert about this?” Alex said warily, “I don’t want Old Lace eating whatever is left of you for dinner tonight if you didn’t.”

“Oh stop Alex, of course I talked to her.” Nico waved him off. She turned back to Molly, who looked like she was about to squeal again. Holding up one hand to keep her clam, she continued.

“So we’re going to have a one on one battle. One of my Pokémon needs a little more training, so I’m taking this as an opportunity to practise. You can use Eevee or Budew, it doesn’t matter to me.” Nico said, and then gestured to the clearing behind them. ��Be ready to go in twenty minutes. Chase and Karolina should be back from gathering food then. Everyone is going to be watching.”

Molly bounced on her heels. “Ok! I’ll be ready!”

“Excellent.”

Chase and Karolina quickly returned, and when they did, Molly immediately ran to them and told them the news. Nico could see her mouth running a mile a minute, and as she made her way over to the two stunned looking runaways, she could make out the conversation.

“-and now Gert’s letting me battle, and Nico’s going to battle me! Can you believe it?” She finished, and Chase still looked a little shocked, but Karolina’s mouth split into a smile.

“Molly that’s great! I’m so happy for you!” The girl had her hands full, holding four or five buckets of food, but she didn’t move to put them with the supplies like Chase did. When Karolina spoke to someone, she gave them her full attention.

“Here, let me help you,” Nico murmured, the load from her. Karolina nodded thanks, while Nico placed the buckets down by the rest of the supplies. Molly and Karolina kept up their conversation, Molly asking for battling tips while Karolina gave out thoughtful replies.

When the buckets were organized, Chased looked over at Nico with a lopsided smile. “So where’s Gert’s body? You obviously must have killed her if you’re battling Molly.”

“Actually she’s over there.” Nico gestured over to the edge of the clearing, where Gert was sitting and talking to Old Lace, clearly getting out some of her anxieties. Chase let out a small hum of understanding.

“Are you going to use Umbreon?” Chase asked, and Nico laughed.

“No way. No offence, but if Molly can’t beat you and Flareon, she doesn’t have a chance against Umbreon and I.”

“I’ll try not to let that one offend me.” Chase said, but his eyes betrayed him. He was definitely offended.

“Oh come on Chase, we all know you’re more into the technology than the actual battling.” Nico reasoned, “how are those Pokeball magnets coming along?”

Chase broke out into a grin, he was always excited to talk about his new inventions. “Really well! See, there’s the slightest piece of iron inside every Pokeball, so by changing the dynamic of the actual magnet, it resets the whole magnetic force!”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” Nico deadpanned.

Chase chuckled, “I actually took the idea from Karolina’s appeal. Think of it like this: if the force inside the Stealth Rock changed the attributes of the area to have space like qualities, I can try and mimic it by reversing the magnetic field in the magnet to draw in Pokeball’s. Now, if Team Pride tries to take any of our Pokémon, I’ll be able to suck them right back to us with the magnet! ”

“That’s actually impressive.” Nico said, and she was telling the truth. This would relieve a lot of tension when fighting Team Pride goons. The goons seemed to always be after their Pokeball’s, like their parents would think they were powerless without them. “Does it work?”

“See that’s the issue.” Chase sighed, shaking his head. “Neither Jolteon, Luxio, or Mareep can generate a strong enough electrical current to reboot the magnetic field. That’s been a roadblock in my advancements. Jolteon can product over 100000 volts according to my Pokedex, which should be more than enough power!” He tapped his belt, where the blue dex was attached. “I think I need a different kind of energy. I don’t know what though.” He seemed stumped, and Nico wished she could offer some advice, but she really had no idea what to do.

“You’ll figure it out Chase. You always do.” Nico encouraged, and he just shrugged.

“I guess.”

“Nico! Can we start now?” Molly interrupted the conversation between her and Chase. Nico turned to look at the fifteen year old with amusement.

“Yeah Molly, sure. Let’s head over to the clearing.”

Nico sauntered off to take position in the field the runaways were using to train. As she turned, she was pretty sure she heard Chase tell Molly to kick her ass, but she ignored it. This was training for both her and Molly, and while Nico knew she had an advantage, she wasn’t going to let anything distract her regardless. She took the same place she had stood earlier that morning to battle Alex, rolling her wrists which slightly lifted the sleeves of her leather jacket.

Molly, who was now looking excited, but also a little nervous, headed over to Alex’s place. By now, all the other older runaways had gathered near the sidelines to watch.

“I can referee if you’d like,” Alex called out to them, and Nico and Molly both nodded.

“Thanks Alex!” Nico called back, and as he headed over to stand near the center of the field, Nico casted a little glance at the other runaways. Gert was looking stony, her anxiety gone and instead replaced with a hazy look that Nico recognized as dissociation. She shook her head lightly. That girl just couldn’t cope sometimes.  

She noticed Karolina, (although, recently she seemed to be asking herself when she wasn’t noticing Karolina. Ever since that orbiting Electroball appeal, Nico found herself casting glances at the blond occasionally. She didn’t let herself dwell on why.) and realized the girl was sitting and giggling at Chase, who she imagined was saying the most ridiculous things to try and get Gert’s attention. Chase always did things like that whenever Gert was feeling particularly dissociative.

She felt a swirling in the pit of her stomach and ignored it.

Nico turned her attention back to the issue at hand. She was about to battle. She couldn’t be distracted.

“Alright you two, you know the rules. One Pokémon each, and the last Pokémon standing wins.” Alex called, casting glances at both Nico and Molly, “are you ready?”

Nico nodded once, “you know it!”

Molly’s nervousness had faded, instead to be replaced with steely determination. “Ready to go!”

Alex nodded, “alright! Release your Pokémon!”

Molly got to her Pokeball first, probably out of sheer jitters. Clicking a ball off her belt, she tossed it into the air. “Let’s show them what we got Eevee!”

The cute brown Pokémon landed gracefully one the ground with a flash of white, ambitious eyes shining. “Evee!”

Nico picked up the third Pokeball on her belt, and released her newest Pokémon. “Alright, let’s go Houndour!”

The canine Pokémon appeared in a flash of white, howling. Nico had to admit, while she loved the way Houndour battled hard and was fiercely loyal, she had been shallow when she caught him for her team. She had wanted to train him purely because of his looks.

I mean come on, Houndour was a Pokémon that just matched Nico’s aesthetic. She wasn’t going to pass up a Pokémon that was so damn cool.

“You can have the first move Nico.” Molly offered, and Nico raised her eyebrows, she had a feeling that the murmuring she heard from the sidelines meant that the runaways were shocked too.

Well, Molly wasn’t going to learn to guard an attack by starting first. Nico might as well have the first move.

“Ok, Houndour kick this off with bite!”

The canine Pokémon outmatched Eevee in many ways, his bite was stronger, his fire fang was hotter, and his endurance was way higher. Nico assumed she was going to win, but the second Houndour tried to land a move, the quicker and sleeker Eevee would dodge, roll, and dash out of the way. When Houndour’s attack clamed over air, Molly called out for Quick Attack, and the fox Pokémon spun into Houndour faster than any Pokémon Nico had seen. Houndour had no chance, and went spinning into the dust.

“Woah.” Nico breathed, utterly amazed at Eevee’s speed. Umbreon certainly hadn’t been that fast as an Eevee. It was time to think of a new tactic.

So, Nico tried holding out until Molly called an attack, and mirroring Molly’s own strategy of dodging and attacking. Houndour did his best, but Eevee was just too quick.

“Gotta try something better than that Nico!” Molly teased, and the other runaways laughed. Nico flushed bright red. She was not about to get outplayed by Molly, no matter how much of a natural battler she was.

“Houndour, use howl!”

The canine Pokémon reared back and let out a howl that stretched across the whole clearing. When the Pokémon relaxed, he looked much more confident, as though he had physically gotten stronger. Eevee’s confidence, on the other hand, was slightly altered. She looked a little more nervous than before.

“Fire fang!”

This time Molly was caught off guard, not expecting another attack so quickly. Apparently, Eevee was shocked too, because Houndour’s fangs landed on Eevee, and the little Pokémon shrieked in pain and hit the floor. Flames erupted along Eevee’s little body, and Nico realized the attack had doubled in intensity.

“Eevee, are you alright?” Molly gasped, and the little Pokémon struggled to her feet. The Pokémon looked singed, and Nico’s eyebrows lifted slightly.

“The attack left Eevee burned.” She mumbled to herself. The runaways had stopped laughing now, and Gert looked like she was about to bite her fingernails off.

Eevee was still struggling to get up, and Houndour was watching her with concern. As much as Houndour loved to battle, Nico knew he was feeling guilty. The two Pokémon were friends after all.

Alex looked like he wanted to call off the battle, but before he could Molly’s eyes narrowed in determination.

“Eevee, I know your hurt, but I know you can keep battling! You’re the toughest Pokémon I know, and I know you’re not done yet!”

The little fox Pokémon seemed to perk up with the encouragement, and struggled to lift herself again. When the burn still seemed to singe her, she struggled again, but Molly was grinning with appreciation.

“That’s it Eevee! Keep that up! You got this!”

As though exerting all of her energy, Eevee’s eyes glinted, and she stood up quickly. Her whole body started to illuminate a bright white light, and Molly let out a little gasp of shock. Nico and the other runaways however, looked thoroughly excited. Eevee was evolving.

The Pokémon glowed for another few moments, before it settled enough to see.  Instead of Eevee, there was a cream coloured Pokémon with pink feet, a pink tail, and pink ears. The Pokémon had ribbons floating around her body, with a pink bow on her head. When the bright light completely faded, the Pokémon blinked its sparkling blue eyes.

Nico’s eyebrow raised. That was the girliest fucking Pokémon she had ever seen.

Molly however, looked completely ecstatic, whipping out her pink Pokedex. Nico pulled out her black one to see what she was now up against.

Sylveon, the Intertwining Pokémon and an evolved form of Eevee. Sylveon affectionately wraps its ribbon-like feelers around its Trainer's arm as they walk together.

“This is SO awesome!” Molly cried, pumping a fist into the air. “Sylveon is so cool!”

“Actually I think she’s pretty cute.” Nico shrugged.

“Don’t underestimate Sylveon Nico,” Karolina called from the sidelines, “Houndour is a dark type, which means his moves are not going to be very effective.”

Nico grit her teeth. This was going to be harder than she thought. Of all her strategies, she didn’t know if she had one for in-battle evolution.

Just as Nico was contemplating this, Sylveon suddenly reared back and stamped her paw, and a large gust of wind appeared out of nowhere, a magical essence attached to it. The sharp wind blew into Houndour, who yelped and flew backwards.

“Ok seriously, now what?” Nico grumbled, very annoyed. Her black Pokedex spoke back to her in a very practical voice.

“Fairy wind is a fairy type Pokémon move that subjects opponents to sharp shards of win, powerful enough to throw the Pokémon backwards.”

“Thanks dex, but the question was rhetorical.” She hissed, slamming the black device back into her belt.

It turned out that Karolina was right, Sylveon was tough. Tougher than Nico anticipated, and she wasn’t underestimating her. The Pokémon was like a tank, every attack Nico hit her with, she just bounced back up. Eventually, with one last strong Fairy Wind, Houndour was down for the count, so exhausted he couldn’t get back up.

“Houndour is unable to battle! Molly Is the winner!” Alex said, a little smile forming on his lips.

Nico ducked her head and sighed, while the runaways cheered.

“Way to go Molly!” Chase exclaimed, running up and giving her a high five.

“You and Sylveon were awesome Molly.” Gert grinned, embracing her sister in a hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see it before. You’re really talented!”

Molly’s grip tightened around her sister, when she pulled back, Sylveon was rubbing against her leg. Molly smiled and picked up the pink Pokémon, giving her an appreciative hug. “Does that mean Sylveon and I can battle more often?”

Gert gave her sister a lopsided smile, “yeah, you can. Bring in the money Molly!”

Nico was walking over to Houndour, sitting down and giving him a gentle rub on the back. The canine Pokémon looked upset, but Nico just smiled.

“You did amazing Houndour! We’ll be ready for something like that next time ok?”

The canine barked in agreement, and Nico took out his Pokeball. “Excellent. For now just rest.”

When the Pokémon faded into the ball, Nico looked up and saw Karolina watching her with a sympathetic smile. “It must suck loosing huh?”

Nico just shrugged. “It’s really not a big deal. I definitely learned something though. Isn’t that the point?”

Karolina tilted her head, watching the Goth with an unreadable expression. “I thought you were going to boast honestly. Say you let her win.”

This threw Nico off. “Really? Why would you think that?”

“I dunno.” Karolina said, extending a hand for Nico to take. With her help, Nico pulled herself to her feet. “Probably because everybody here thought you were going to win.”

“Well I guess I can be surprising occasionally.” Nico chuckled. Karolina smiled back.

“Yeah I guess.”

Nico just kept staring at Karolina. Her blue eyes were still clouded with that unreadable expression. Before Nico could ask about it however, she was interrupted.

“Hey Nico! Thanks for the awesome battle!” Molly raced over with Sylveon at her heels, and gave Nico the biggest smile she had ever seen.

Nico just nodded. “Of course, you did an incredible job. I guess in a few days you’ll be taking on the gym with Alex and I?”

Molly clenched one fist, looking thoroughly prepared. “You’re damn right! And I’m not leaving that town until I get a badge!”

[sarkastically]

Fight, or Flight, or Freeze

(Runaways Christmas fic. This is, again, a mishmash of TV and comic canon. This is not in the same AU as the ongoing series. This is just, basically, a one-shot drabble that got out of hand. Warning for mentions of child abuse and self-esteem issues.)

Another thing about him that surprises people: Chase Stein doesn’t really like holidays. Growing up they were always haphazard, dangerous times of the year. Whereas on a normal weekday, he could count on his father being busy with work, holidays offered an insecurity, a doubt. Where would his father be? What mood would he be in? What would he break, the dishes or something inside Chase, physical or emotional? The best ones, by far, were always the ones when Victor had to travel for something, somewhere--Chase stopped asking when he was seven because it didn’t matter where he was so much as it mattered that he was out of the house--and it was just him and his mom, using whatever holiday it might be to actually celebrate his father's absence. 

Holidays, Christmas in particular, were always loaded, fraught with traps. Victor liked to buy him things he knew Chase didn’t want or like. Victor would buy him things he wanted him to be interested in and then wait for the inevitable way that Chase’s face would fall, always too expressive, never fully controlled by him, to berate him, to lash out and call him selfish, ungrateful, spoiled. A waste of space. A waste of time. A waste of the precious Stein genes. And Chase would hang his head (so that his face would not give him away even more) and clench his hands into fists on his knees and say nothing while his mother pointedly walked out of the room to check on what was cooking or powder her nose or be anywhere other than there, protecting him.

Holidays were a battleground in the Stein house. Chase still wears the wounds, thinks he can hear the canons go off when he starts awake on Christmas morning, heart pounding, covered in a cold sweat. He can hear the music through the walls, high, bright, festive, all silent nights and decked halls. It’s louder than the rush of blood in his ears as he fights to slow his breathing down, runs a hand through his hair, wild from tossing and turning. Chase has never dreamed of sugar plums only black eyes and a voice that gets so loud it drowns out the rest of the world. 

When the others mentioned putting together Christmas, Chase had just shrugged, hands in pockets, voicing neither assent nor dissent. Gert had, as politely as possible, reminded them that she was Jewish but followed it up with the fact that it didn’t matter to her what they did, not really, which was probably because of the way that Molly had perked up at the mention of Christmas. So it happened. He let it happen. All around him. A tree, lights, tinsel, stockings, and wrapped packages that started showing up from nowhere. They don’t really have money to buy presents so he’s not sure what’s happening unless people are just wrapping up random crap they’re finding in the rooms of their sunken dwelling, which is possible. Alex manages to hack their way into enough cash for food and clothing, but there’s not the budget for gifts. 

Chase doesn’t want anything anyway, wouldn’t be able to keep the trepidation off his face when tearing into the wrapping paper, wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of anyone brave enough to give him something. It wouldn’t be their fault, and it wouldn’t be his, but the reaction, he thinks, would be enough to drive a wedge, to raise questions he doesn’t want to answer. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about what to get the others because he has, long and hard, on nights when he cannot sleep, which are plentiful, but it’s not in his power to do so, and he has seen, firsthand, how a moment of joy at giving can turn into a nightmare of consequence. It’s hard to live with. It’s hard to face again. Even though he knows none of them would react the way his father would, it’s hard. It’s not something he can just leave behind like his house and all his things. It’s burned into his skin and his mind and his soul, a brand as unforgiving as his last name, as his DNA. 

An afternoon spent at the mall when he was seven, still young enough to believe in the idea of Santa, still young enough for hope and wishes. His mother holding his hand, drifting through the crowds of people, so many of them stopping his mother to tell her what a darling little boy she had, and his mother smiling tightly, tightly, making sure he kept his jacket on because there were bruises down his arms from his father grabbing him. The Santa booth in the middle of the mall, and Chase begging to ask, willing to stand in the line for as long as it took.

“What do you want for Christmas, little boy?”

And the desire to say, “Not to be a Stein” held back in favor of asking for a basketball because what if. What if Santa was in league with his parents? What if Santa told on him? And worse, what if he asked and Santa couldn’t help?

Chase pushes out of the door and into the hallway, bleary, feeling disoriented and wrong, almost runs right into Gert who is aimlessly oddly right there, bright as ever with her fading purple hair and dark roots, big glasses not doing anything to hide her wide eyes, wearing a Hannukah sweater that is slightly too big such that it hangs over her hands, reaches almost to her knees, which are bare as though she is wearing the sweater as a dress. Like this, she looks safe, and Chase remembers a holiday spent with the Yorkes when his parents were both on a work trip. There were candles. There was singing. No one cried. No one screamed. He slept through the night.

Gert looks at him and her expression is open and worried, gentle, but he cannot stop the way he flinches when she reaches out to him. She sees it and stops, hand in midair for a moment before she lowers it back to her side. “Chase, are you okay? You look.” She doesn’t finish the sentence. She doesn’t have to. 

He can imagine what he looks like, flushed, sweating, caught in a perpetual war between fight, flight, and freeze. The latter used to win the most. He hated it. Still hates it, that feeling of powerlessness, that inability to act. He promises himself, not for the first time, that he will not freeze when the others need him, though he cannot say the same for himself, alone.

“Just a bad dream,” he says because she’s still standing there, looking at him, assessing him the way she does everyone, studying him. Chase is sure that she is cataloging flaws, wishes he knew a way to distract her because he would rather not be an insect on a pin, squirming, for Gert to see. Once you lose so much face, it’s impossible to get it back, and he. He would like for Gert to think he is something more than nothing.

“I don’t like Christmas,” he says, unbidden, unprompted. It just falls out of his mouth, flat. 

“I remember,” Gert’s voice is gentle, the voice he has heard her use to comfort Molly, and she pushes her glasses up, twists her hands together, fidgets with her sweater, all those tiny little motions that are Gert’s tells when she is anxious.

Any other time, Chase would let them go, but he is already so off-center, so frayed, that he cannot take the motion, and he reaches to catch them. Gert’s hands are surprisingly soft for someone who seems to be attempting to tear down society on her own. Once he has them, she does not struggle, does not try to take them back, lets him hold them. 

He doesn’t remember telling Gert that he doesn’t like Christmas but also cannot find the voice to ask her for details, just looks at her hands in his. They are small, but he knows how strong they are because this is Gert. 

“Do you remember that year you stayed with us during Hannukah?” 

Chase nods.

“You told me then. That you didn’t like Christmas.”

He doesn’t remember that part of it but then sometimes Chase’s memory is full of blank spots that he doesn’t attempt to uncover because he’s afraid of what might be lurking underneath.

“You didn’t say anything when the others suggested it. I thought maybe you had changed your mind. If I’d thought it would bother you, I would have suggested we skip it.”

“No, it’s. It’s fine. That would have been unnecessary.” And too much. Too much trouble to go to for his comfort. No sense making the rest of them suffer just to put him at ease. They’ve been through so much this year, they deserve something. They deserve Christmas even if it does make his blood run cold.

Gert sighs like he has asked her to move the moon, but he doesn’t ask why she’s perturbed. Chase has learned over the years that those kinds of questions will be answered at length, and he doesn’t really have the wherewithal to listen to it properly right now. 

“If I remember correctly,” she takes a step towards him, careful, and she has not taken her hands back from where they remain in his, where he is running his own fingers down the lengths of hers because it is soothing, “you liked the singing.”

Chase blinks at her, confused, and he can only imagine how dumb he probably looks in this moment, how unlike anything she’d like. 

“When you were at our house during Hannukah. You liked the singing.”

“I liked you singing.” It’s out of his mouth before he can stop it, this bold, brash truth. Fight, or flight, or freeze. This is none of those. This is Chase undone by truth and honesty and the softness that is Gert when she allows herself to stop fighting the world.

She blushes, and he smiles, just a little because it makes her glow. “Thanks,” she says, though it is hesitant, and he wonders if part of her thinks he is joking.

He understands why she would think that, but he is never joking when he compliments her even when he does it poorly.

“Anyway, I could, um, teach you a song. If you wanted.”

“I don’t sing very well.” He does, in fact, sing extremely poorly, which Gert already knows.

“That’s okay.” Said with enough sincerity that he believes it. “I just thought you might like it.”

What he likes is the feel of her close, the warmth of her hands in his, the way her eyes are concerned. What is likes is her. There. With him. What do you want for Christmas, Chase? he asks himself, and the answer is clear, the answer is obvious. He wants someone who cares about him. He wants someone who gives a shit. 

He wants her.

What he wants is, again, something out of his league, something that cannot be bought or wrapped or exchanged. Something that cannot be wished into being like asking for his father to be nicer or better or kind. What he wants is something he doesn’t understand how to get, something he probably doesn’t deserve. Fight, or flight, or freeze. Chase Stein is so often frozen right down to the core of himself that he sometimes wonders whether anything is there to offer except ice.

If he was anything other than a coward, maybe he would say at least one of these things to her, but he is a coward so he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “Okay. Teach me a song.”

Gert sings, Chase attempts to. Somewhere during it all, they end up sitting on the floor of the hallway, across from each other, and he is still holding her hands. Half the time, he just listens to her, watches her, and Gert pretends not to notice, but he notices it every time her voice shakes or her cheeks get warm or her hands twitch a little in his, anxious, which makes him hold them tighter, shift closer to her. They are knee to knee, but he keeps leaning forward, closer, as though he can disappear into the song, into the way her voice lilts up, the loveliness of it. He has missed this, her voice like this instead of biting, tossing quips. He loves those, too, but this is something else, so much brighter, the softer side of the girl he has known forever. 

“Maybe next year, we can celebrate Hannukah instead,” he says when she stops singing, and he has given up the pretense of trying to. He doesn’t even question why he assumes there will be a next year. He needs there to be a next year. He needs this family. Even if they aren’t in this slowly sinking mansion in the ground, he needs them all, especially Gert soft and steel at the same time, singing as easily as she mocks.

“That might be a hard sell. But,” she twines her fingers through his, not for the first time, hopefully not for the last, “we could do both.”

Chase thinks about giving up Christmas, about giving up all the other holidays that are like millstones around his neck, hairshirts on his back. He wonders about replacing them with other things, if it would even make a difference. “I don’t like Christmas,” he says, the words small, his voice small, the way he feels, small, and young and waiting for something terrible. Most children waited for Santa, presents, reindeer. Chase waited for yelling, breaking, pain, disappointment.

“I know.” When she lets go of his hand and reaches out to touch his cheek, he does not flinch away. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until she brushes the tears away. “They’ve ruined a lot of things. It’s okay.”

Chase wonders what their parents have ruined for Gert, how he can set it right because he wants to. “Thanks. For this.” His voice sounds wet and tight, it reminds him of his mother’s fake smiles and her pretense that they were happy, all of it exhausting.

Her hand on his face has not moved; it is warm. Chase thinks it might be warm enough to soak through to those cold, frozen parts of him that will not move anymore. “No big deal,” she says casually as though she has given him a dollar instead of sitting in the hall with him, singing to him, holding his hands, calming him down little by little so that he feels more like himself now, less like a shaking child. If it weren’t for the way her voice hitches a little at the end, he would almost believe her. But her eyes on his face are searching as he draws closer, and her gaze lingers on his lips more than once before skating back up to meet his own. 

Maybe it is just her way of memorizing and taking in everything. Maybe it is something else. He wants it to be something else. “No, Gert, it’s.” He swallows. “It’s more than you think it is. It means a lot. It means.” He doesn’t know how to broach the subject more fully, isn’t sure about spilling all the years of secrets, pulling out the scars and receipts to show her. Gert is strong, yes, but is she strong enough for this? He doesn’t know. 

“People get sad around the holidays. It’s a statistical fact. There have been multiple studies done on the subject.”

She’s not done talking, he can tell by the way she tilts her head that she is about to launch into a diatribe complete with sources, and it’s rude to cut her off, but she’s beautiful and he kisses her. There’s a moment when she freezes and he thinks this is it, the universe will end. Gert will hate him, and he will become ice and shatter and blow away. Then she kisses him back, and everything inside of him melts in the face of the wave of heat.

This is another thing about him that surprises people, that surprises even himself when it blooms out in full force at the touch of her lips: Chase Stein is in love with Gert Yorkes.