#for my beloved Vitko 🤍

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My Love Mine All Mine

Note: October 26th was the date my cat Vitko, my best childhood friend, passed away. It's been 8 or 9 years since he passed away, and I still mourn him. He was a beautiful white cat with green eyes, a majestic little gentleman, and I like to think he looks after my dog Lara and me. I chose the title "My Love Mine All Mine," which is a song by Mitski because it really reminds me of him and because of course I still love him so much.

So, this ficlet is a tribute to him. He deserves it, and I still miss him 🤍

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

“I miss you my friend.” Santino would always say after returning back home. A few pictures of his childhood pet, a beautiful white cat were still on his desk, keeping him company every time.

Santino loved animals, especially dogs and cats, he would always feed the strays if he had something with him. Anything to keep them alive. However he prepared himself better, bought cat food for the stray cats that would spend their time in his garden.

There was a black, tuxedo, orange and a tortoiseshell one and she was the only female. They all looked the same age, they were young, so Santino guessed they were siblings. D'Antonio garden became their home once they realized Santino wouldn't hurt or chase them. They were all unique, each had their personalities and Santino thought that was amazing. He would often watch them through his window how they would play, clean each other, eat together but also respect each other.

Today, he went to feed them again. They greeted him with lots of meowing and rubbing against his legs, making him almost trip over them but he managed to get to the bowls.

“I know, you all are probably very hungry. It's not like I fed you in the morning,” he smiled to himself as he poured some dry cat food into the bowls. “Just don't eat too fast.” Well, they immediately started eating, probably a bit faster for a start.

Young D'Antonio smiled and shaked his head, finding them cute how they were eating like they never ate before. He sat by a small table next to cats to watch them. The garden was pretty, maybe a little sad ever since his mother died, but if the cats still liked it, he liked it too. After all, too many memories to just give up on it.

The orange cat rubbed against his leg, wrapping its tail around and loudly purring. Santino leaned to pet his head and scratch his favorite spot behind his ear. He would always think they thank him for the food that way, when they come for scratches and pats. “You're very pretty… why are you a stray?” D'Antonio murmured softly as the cat purred some more and rubbed its face over his leg. “Why did you choose this place to spend time?”

Other cats joined them, lying down, cleaning themselves, purring next to Santino. He knew a lot of work was waiting for him in his office, but he didn't want to leave, not when it was a nice afternoon, the cats were fed and the air felt fresh. “I just want to stay here a little longer,” he sighed and closed his eyes, inhaling the air, relaxing to the sound of cats purring. He could've dozed off like this, it was calm, there was no yelling, no people, just him, cats and the breeze rustling through the leaves.

He opened his eyes again after the cat food bag fell over from the wind, blinking as he realized he almost fell asleep. He winced when made a sudden movement, already almost getting stiff like this. “I'll make myself coffee,” he said and groaned as he stood up. “And write down that I need to buy new chairs.”

The cats waited patiently for their… friend to return back, a tuxedo one watched Santino through the glass door, flipping his tail playfully as if he was asking D'Antonio to play with him.

“What is it, little one?” Santino asked softly as he walked back outside with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Little gentleman,” he chuckled. It's a nickname he had given to the tuxedo one.

He sat back at his spot and took a few sips of his beverage, enjoying the company of his little friends. Animals were better than people, they would never hurt him physically or emotionally, never insult him, never take advantage of him, never use him just to get what they want. They are grateful for what Santino was doing for them, every animal showed that in their own way.

Santino looked back into the garden where the roses were and noticed something. There was a white cat. At first he wasn't sure if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him, so he blinked a few times and realized that it was a real white cat. He placed his cup on the table, and took a few pieces of dry food so he could get it to trust him better. It reminded him of his best childhood friend.

The cat was near the roses, sniffing them and the ground, it looked relaxed and was not altered when Santino came closer. It looked up at him with its green eyes.

“Oh, hi… you're beautiful,” he said softly as he crouched down and let the cat sniff his hand. He couldn't stop looking at it, observing it. It was a male, his fur was pure white, he didn't even look like a stray. “Are you lost? Or… were you abandoned?” He felt silly asking that, obviously a cat won't answer him.

He gave him a few pieces of cat food and the cat ate out of his hand just fine. Surely this was someone's cat. “You look so familiar,” he whispered as he scratched under the feline's chin, and it looked like the cat loved it, purring loudly.

The feline rubbed against his leg, already leaving white hair over his pants but he didn't care, he continued to pet him. “You look just like him. He was beautiful, majestic like you, had those pretty green eyes and loved to cuddle.” It's been years since his childhood pet passed away, and he was still thinking about him, still had every picture he could find.

He was taking care of him the most, feeding him, playing with him, letting him sleep on his bed with him. Santino's father usually complained about the cat hair, since it was white it was more visible on anything and Signore D'Antonio hated seeing cat hair on his pants or sheets or anywhere. He hated Santino's cat, he wanted him gone, but luckily Santino had his mother and Gianna who were on his side, so the cat stayed for some time.

“So many tears were spilled into his fur, I spent nights crying into him. I felt bad for soaking his fur like that, but he didn't seem to mind. He was purring, always trying to calm me down,” Santino said, smiling at the feline but his smile looked mournful. “I miss him. He was the best cat I've ever had, my only friend, my everything.”

It looked like the cat was actually paying attention to his words and meowed at him, pushing its head against his palm for more pats. D'Antonio took a deep breath in and out, swallowing his sudden urge to cry. Dammit, it hurt his throat and chest, just like it always did.

“You're too sweet. Oh, you're really like him,” he breathed out with a shaky laugh. “You must be hungry and there are others who could be your new friends.” He stood up, looking over the four cats who were relaxing nearby. He whispered to the white cat, offering one more treat so he would follow him.

Other cats seemed interested, sniffing and greeting the majestic white feline that joined them. “Ah, you're getting along,” Santino smiled and poured some fresh cat food into a bowl only for the new member.

D'Antonio returned back to his coffee, watching over the cat enjoying the meal. He doesn't remember the last time he had seen a white stray cat, they were rare, unique and they all reminded him of his cat.

“I'm sure he would've liked you if he…” Santino paused and exhaled slowly, “Was still alive. Like… an older brother.” The white feline looked up at him, ate only a little bit and walked towards him, purring and having its tail up.

Santino hummed in surprise after he took a sip of his coffee and the cat jumped on his lap. “Oh, hey,” he chuckled softly, gently caressing the cat's head, going along his back. “You're really here for the cuddles, huh?” It looked like that was true since the feline nested on his lap, as if he was ready for a nap on Santino.

Other cats seemed to get ready for a nap, too. Snuggling against each other on the floor next to Santino's legs. “Afternoon nap, I see,” D'Antonio smiled, gently caressing the back of the white cat’s neck. “I hope you'll stay. I… I hope you're no one's cat because I really want to keep you. Or… at least that you visit me every day.” That would be nice. He was even ready to let this one in his house.

The nostalgia that hit Santino overwhelmed him for some time. The memories that he still cherished, playing in the garden with his best friend who was a cat… a place he buried him. Something was stinging his eyes, he blinked, realizing that was because of the tears he was holding back.

“He wasn't supposed to die… if only I was more careful. If only I was there,” Santino whispered, “I should've been a better owner… a better friend. But, dammit…” he cursed under his breath, “It wasn't fair that it happened.”

It was better not to think about it again, for his own sake. He should be happy, there is the exact same cat in his lap right now. The cat could probably feel Santino's emotions, leaning into his palm and purring loudly.

Santino decided he should enjoy this moment, it reminded him of the good days and he should relax. So, he did exactly that, his hand was resting on top of the white cat while with the other he continued to hold his cup of coffee. It was better to rest after a long morning of meeting with different business people who were loud and only wanted to argue with him. Sure, he himself had a silver tongue, most people thought he was a ruthless mafia boss and he was, but he wasn't just that.

It was a pretty view from afar, to see Santino D'Antonio with cats, outside of his business. He probably wouldn't seem that serious if anyone saw him like this. Only one man would never judge him, knowing that Santino has a soft soul. So soft it got crushed by life, deformed until it became a violent thing.

John watched him by his car, noticing that gentle smile on D'Antonio's face as he patted the cat. It was not something anyone could see often, a Camorra prince surrounded with stray cats. Seeing him truly happy was always heartwarming, at least for John and he wished he saw him more like this.

The white cat looked adorable in his lap, Santino was murmuring something to it, John noticed. He didn't want to disturb Santino's peace, so he stayed where he was, observing him for a few more minutes, enjoying a rare moment.

That white cat was probably going to stay for a longer time.

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Day of the Dead - Svi Sveti (Croatian name)

In Croatia, this is more of a sad day, a day to remember and visit your deceased dear ones at the cemetery. I want to remember my beloved Vitko since he was a family member, even if he was a cat.

He was too old to recover from a disease that he caught, he was 15/16, younger cats would've survived it but this just attacked him on the inside, I think first it was his liver that gave out and then just everything else. He lost fur on the back of his neck, his skin was yellow, he could barely walk and was in some corners of rooms, probably sensing that his end was near. We really tried everything to help him for a very long time, but like I said, he was too old for that fight. The vet, who also knew Vitko since he was a kitten, suggested that it was best to put him to sleep so that he wasn't in pain anymore. Since he truly was in pain, he wasn't showing it because he was always like that, but I remember how tired he looked. At some point, he couldn't even walk anymore. His eyes, those beautiful green eyes, he was looking at me, but it was like he was looking through me.

But I'll never forget the last look when my mom was holding him, preparing to go to the vet with him. There was something in his eyes, in that look, like he was saying goodbye to me.

And I'll never forget what the vet said afterward. "His heart was beating for a long time. He had a very strong heart." The only organ that wasn't infected was his heart that was still beating for a long time after the given dose to put him to sleep.

He was my best childhood friend, the only true friend who appreciated me and never wanted to leave me. He knew me before I was even born. My mom told me he loved to sleep under my kinderbet and was doing it more often after I was born. It was like he knew we would be best friends. And it was just like that. He was my everything.

Every time I see a random white cat, I remember him.

I've never met a cat like him and everyone who knew him would always say he was special. With that personality, like a gentleman, calm, affectionate, sometimes drinking water from the bathtub's pipe, he had a funny phase where he ate his food with his paw, sleeping next to me and so on.

He is one of my biggest inspirations for so many things.

Vitko will never be forgotten, my beautiful little gentleman, I sincerely hope his soul is having peace. You're still missed, Vitko 🤍