#for more updates and shenanigans follow my insta

[teamhawkeye]

ngl, Ted leaving Twitter has made me so sad

i still have my friends and their shenanigans to keep up with, my sports, and movie and game news - but getting to see an update from Ted on there, just a silly joke or story, always made my day. it’s not like i’m not on insta and not already following him, but it’s just not the same when twitter felt like more spontaneous and authentic updates when you don’t have to have a photo or video always attached

though not that i blame him one bit - twitter has become an even more toxic cesspool so i get him wanting to bail lmao. just gonna feel a lot lonelier on there without getting any more of his tweets 💔

[sehunk]

korea has been so wild fam and i’m mad this website doesn’t work better for here. some updates:

-met wonho’s mom at her cafe (she’s literally the sweetest thing on the planet i died)

-went to seoul fashion week and saw Key, Jinyoung, WINNER and Luna

-saw Pgoon while we were shopping

-got tickets to see KNK this weekend

i feel like dying from hype and also because i’ve been sick for a while now

i’m just super stoked for everything, if there’s anyone in seoul wanting to hang out hmu fam

[leggomylino]

I saw someone else do one of these about a week ago, and it’s been on my mind to do one as well. It’s a very sweet gesture and I want to let all my mutuals know that not only do I see them and care about them, but I also really appreciate y’all as well! So without further ado, here’s my shoutout to each and every one of you! ->

@lovesickmark​ -> I’m pretty sure you’re like, the first person I really connected with on here? If not THE first then definitely one of the first. I know you’ve been going through a lot and I respect that; I’m cheering for you from the sidelines tho, just remember that! It’s been wonderful having you around so I hope you’re doing well and that you keep moving forward. <3

@jisungx2​ -> JOSIIIIIIIE >A< My INFP sister. I’m sure things have been kind of annoying and rough for you too, what with the holidays here and having to work Black Friday and most the rest of the season (holy cow I salute you and I’m really glad you didn’t die. Ily man.) It makes me so happy when you leave cute asks in my box like “hope you have a great day!” or “[enter cute chain mail here]”. You’re just very cute 😞😞 and I really wish you all the best this holiday season! I hope you’re taking care of yourself and remembering to take breaks when you need it. Remember the storage room excuse. Ily bro man.

@iiasha​ -> We haven’t been talking for very long but like, omgosh I love talking to you oops. 😂😅 Idk sis, I guess because most of my mutuals are a bit younger than me it’s nice to have someone who’s the same age I can relate to? And also someone to guide me through the confusing but quite entertaining world of the Seventeen fandom 💍 (I’m on my laptop and I couldn’t find the giant diamond emoji don’t @ me). ALSO! YOUR WRITING!! IS SO GOOD!!! Ugh I STILL gotta get to that Jimin alt. ending 😫😓 But I’ve been very invested in working and my language studies as of late while procrastinating on my other works rip. ANYWAY! I APPRECIATE YOU!! LET’S TALK MORE!!! YEEHAW!!!!

@joully​ -> You and I are still going to take over the kpop industry with our band, right? Shoot, what was the name of it again?? 😂😂 I don’t remember RIP...anyway, we don’t talk hardly as much but, I still see a lot of your posts and think about you! You’re really talented and I’m totally jelly of your piano skills 🥺🥺 Like dang I wish I could play half as good sis. Also, I’d really like to visit Germany one day! My dad’s best friend lives there, they met while he was travelling Europe in the army. He said we may go there one day and if we do, or if I just have to make my own adventure, I’d love to meet at a coffee shop and say hello. <3 Please continue taking care of yourself and come talk to me sometime! If you don’t, I will!! Lol 💕

@minniewoos​ -> 😎😎 <- SEE I REMEMBERED ❤️ I really hope your anatomy final went well! I bet it did <3 And if you haven’t taken it yet, you’re going to do great, I know! ^^ We haven’t talked for long but, I enjoy talking to you a lot. It’s always nice and appreciated to have another stay to bond with and just chat about how dumb boys can be but wow they sure are cute while doing it. Sigh. Anywho, I’m looking forward to talking with you more, and if you ever get a chance, I’m excited about getting to maybe study Korean together!  천천히 해 💓

@kpoptrashx2​ -> Luisa!!! We don’t really speak as often either 🤔 But I really appreciate that you’re always there to help me with my writing and give me pointers when I need it. Thank you so much for that! It’s truly very helpful because as a writer I have no idea how something is going to sound to others who have no idea what’s going on inside my head. ^^” Not only that but it’s a joy getting to chat with you as well. 💓 I hope you’re doing well and that we’ll get to catch up soon!

@hanniesunshine​ -> Omgosh sis I cannot wait for your story to come out! You know the one I’m talking about so I won’t accidentally spoil anything lol. But anyway! I hope you’re well and that you’re doing alright. We haven’t talked for very long but I had so much fun talking about your story with you, and I’m looking forward to chatting about even more stuff! 🥰

@bopping-to-my-kpop​ -> Sis you betta talk to me more or imma come after you 😤😤 Don’t test me I’ll dang sure hold another court case if I have to! And it’ll be totally rigged because I’ll be in charge of everything! The judge? It’s me. The jury? Also me~ Any outside opinions? I have influence in all of them! 💞 ...Nevertheless, I really hope that you’re well, and please know that you can come to me for anything :c Even if it’s just to take your mind off of something negative and you need a laugh. I’ll see what ridiculous shenanigans I can cook up for you, okay? You’re never a burden, I love helping people (esp. people I care about!) so please stop by anytime!! #westanemmainthishouse 🥀

@xxsanshinexx​ -> I haven’t talked to you in forever but I really hope you’re doing well! I haven’t seen many posts from you recently :(( Idk if you’re just busy or if I’m blind, but if you ever get a chance I’d love to catch up! Whatever you got going on please keep doing your best and remember to take your time as well. <3

@spuds-potato​ -> 🌟🌟🌟 B)) What’s poppin little sis? I hope you’re doing well as well, and I’m still waiting for my story 😤😤 Remember if Celi dies she’s dragging her bf down with her okay?! Okay. Some Romeo and Juliet action going on 😂😂 Aaaaaaanywho, I’ll have to pop in soon on Insta and you can tell me about your day! Remember boys are dumb and drink plenty of water~ 💗💗

@chanscoffee​ -> I know you’re super busy but I totally miss talking to you 😭😭 and I hope you’re well. I rarely use Snap but I need to hop on there sometime and maybe we can chat! Or on Insta. Idk we’ll see. Whatever you have going on just know I’m still supporting you and I’m here if ever you need someone. 💖

@daydream-jwoo​ -> Okay I’m telling you now imma be texting you soon! Seriously sis how have you been?! We have so much to catch up on! 😩😩 The holidays have managed to be both crazy and slow at the same time some how? Like time has been completely nonexistent and a total paradox lately. 🗿🗿 It’s wild. Anyway imma keep this one short bc it’s been so long and I’ll text you soon!! 💝💝

@thevampywarlock​ -> Give me a minute.........okay. *deep breath* AAAAH I THINK YOU’RE REALLY CUTE!?!?! ...Aaaaaanyway uwu” The stories you write are so cute and just, small wholesome things that you manage to extend and expand upon? Does that make sense? I really admire that. It’s like subtle but I definitely see it and eventually I’m going to come around to going on a reblogging spree \o7o/ But until then I hope you’ll consider stopping by and talking with me more? You’re a wonderful author and I think you have a kind heart. ^^ <3

@jisungsjheekies​ -> Oh sis. We gotta chat more too! Your stories are also very cute and well written and idk why but, I feel very compelled to support both you and @backhugsforhyunjin​ and whole squad. It’s very strange and I don’t mean to alarm anyone 😂😅 I just...can’t really explain it other than I feel like y’all are good people and I’d love to get to know you better. Anyway I’ll cut this short to avoid making anything unnecessarily weird, but, I’d really love to talk with you more! And I def support and appreciate you!!

@backhugsforhyunjin​ -> Sis you too, we def gotta chat more 😤 If you ever need anyone to talk to, I understand we aren’t close at all but I’m available to listen or give advice if you need it? 😅 Also, you’re a wonderful author as well. I really wish the best for you and hope to hear from you more in the future. If anything, please remember to take your time and know that there are people cheering for you! You got this, whatever it may be!!

@gaiyofanfiction​ -> Asdfghjkl now that we’re buds ofc I had to make you a part of this too 🤪🥳 I think we could use a team name, what do you think about #TurkeyDragons?  Bc the NCT float?? 😂😂 I like it honestly...but if you hate it lmk lmao. I hope we get to talk more soon and I’m really looking forward to an update of Twisted Karnival! One of the greatest fanfics I’ve ever read on here 😞✊ Of course with the Holiday season here updating isn’t super important, y’all pls take care of yourselves first and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! (p.s. if anyone else is reading I wish this for y’all as well!) ❤️🎄

~~~

. . . That was a lot. If I’ve forgotten anyone I sincerely apologize and I love and appreciate you as well! Please don’t be mad at me 😩😩 At the end of the day I really do love and appreciate all my followers and mutuals, y’all are all fantastic and I’m always rooting and cheering for you like the Mom in every Pokemon rpg ;-;-;-; Keep going and become the Pokemon Champion okay? And I mean really go kick Gary’s ass, because he’s an ass and needs his ass whooped after all the crap he puts you through in Red/Green. I can’t wait for a reboot to come up on Switch so I can kick his butt all over again 😤🤭🥴 Anyway x9,000, thanks for coming to my Appreciation Ted Talks and I sincerely hope you all have a wonderful day and rest of 2019, as well as a happy New Year and an amazing 2020! ...Dear son of a biscuit it’s gonna be 2020. Wow. Letting that sink in. Where’s the rewind button? Actually I’m not sure if I wanna go back maybe it’s best if we bury this year for the most part and start over 👀💧

OKAY THAT BEING SAID EVERYONE GO OUT AND TAKE DOWN GARY!!! ILY ALL WOO 화이팅!! LET’S GET THIS 2020 BREAD after a cup of eggnog and some holiday celebrations uwu Peace out and again I love y’all! 💝

[heavenbursts-blog]

do it for the likes.  pairing. matsuhana & implied iwaoi  summary. makki & mattsun just started dating, but they’re not sure how to break the news to their longtime friends iwaizumi and oikawa. so they decide to troll them (read, oikawa) instead. the results are both satisfying and entertaining. 

also can be read here

ONE NEW MESSAGE!

From: oinkawa To: SUPER SENTAI SEIJOU 4 Sent at 3:14pm Subject: img.jpg UMMMM HELLO ????? WHAT IS THIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT????

From: iwaizooms To: SUPER SENTAI SEIJOU 4 Sent at 3:14pm stop yelling shittykawa.

From: oinkawa To: SUPER SENTAI SEIJOU 4 Sent at 3:15pm im not yelling!!!!!!

From: oinkawa To: SUPER SENTAI SEIJOU 4 Sent at 3:15pm @mattsun @makki why r u not responding ??? when did you two start dating ??? HELLO ???

From: oinkawa To: SUPER SENTAI SEIJOU 4 Sent at 3:17pm I’LL HAVE U KNOW IWA-CHAN JUST HIT ME BC OF U TWO AND IF U DONT RESPOND IM CHARGING U FOR AGGRAVATING ASSAULT!!!!

Hanamaki cackled, opening up his messages that were rapidly filling up with Oikawa’s frantic text messages. “This is so funny. How long do you think it’ll take before he facetimes one of us?”

Matsukawa popped a fry into his mouth, grinning. “I say… give it like… less than two seconds?”

Right on time Matsukawa’s phone went off with the Pokemon theme song blaring loud and proud in Mcdonald’s. A few customers turned around but Matsukawa wasn’t bothered. Hanamaki snickered as Matsukawa took an extra three seconds to answer his phone.

“Yeah?” Nonchalance dripped from his tone as he continued shoving fries into his mouth. “Sup?”

“Sup? Sup?! Are you serious?”

Oikawa sounds like he’s about to blow a fuse, Hanamaki mouthed.

Mattsun smirked, “Serious about what? The economy? Yeah it’s in a down spiral as we speak. How could I not be—”

“ —STOP YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! How dare you do me so dirty like this? Imagine me, living my best life, going onto Instagram to bless my followers with an update and I see I’ve been followed by your couple insta account with Makki-chan?”

“Oh, that thing?” Hanamaki’s dying with silent laughter and Matsukawa’s voice was still dipped with uncaring tunes. Getting a rise out of Oikawa was always and would always be the highlight of his day. “Yeah. It’s a thing. I see you didn’t follow back though...hm.”

“It’s a pretty clever handle, yeah?” Hanamaki chimed in. “@Matsuhana, because it’s a play on both our names. Mattsun’s idea, spearheaded by me.”

“That’s not the point!” Oikawa rebutted as Iwaizumi mentioned in the background, yeah that is pretty clever heh.  “I refuse to follow you back after—ACK!” A volleyball came out of nowhere, connecting to the back of Oikawa’s head. Most definitely thrown by Iwaizumi. Mattsun absolutely lost it afterwards. He cackled, tears at his eyes as he pushed the phone over to Hanamaki because he really couldn’t .

“Ayo, bossman,” Hanamaki’s grin was catlike as he took the phone, holding it up against his soda cup. “What’s good? Oikawa dead?”

“We can only hope,” Iwaizumi huffed. Hanamaki heard Oikawa go “RUDE!” in the background and he chuckled. “So this account is a joke right?”

Hanamaki and Mattsun exchanged glances, “Define ‘joke’.” Hanamaki asked.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes, “If this is another one of your guys’s shenanigans have fun. Be safe. Don’t do anything dumb.”

“Yes dad!” the two said at the same time. Iwaizumi snorted and Oikawa pushed him aside to get into the screen.

“Tell me the truth! Are you guys dating? Are you guys fucking around?! What is the truth—”

“—Enough, Trashykawa. We’re hanging up. Bye guys,” Iwaizumi gave them a nod before signing off. Hanamaki snickered, glancing up to see Matsukawa smirking down at him, affecting evident in his eyes. Weird. He still couldn’t get used to it—the finally noticing part.

“You were right,” Hanamaki stuck out his hand and Matsukawa reached out to lace their fingers. “This was so much better than us sending an accidental sext meant for the other person plan.”

“Thanks,” Matsukawa grinned, picking up his phone to look at the photo he posted on their couples instagram. A totally not fake but they were going to act like it was fake for the lolz and the rising blood pressure of Oikawa Tooru instagram account they made on the spur of the moment. It’s main purpose for being created was so they could recreate and mock super popular couple poses.

They started dating yesterday after Hanamaki, very casually but also rather adorably, confessed to being in love with Matsukawa for years. Matsukawa, being sidelines and hit with a truck by the confession, wasted on time in pulling in Hanamaki for a much needed kiss. Because when you’re caught in your feels it’s only natural to act upon them. They didn’t know how to bring it up to Iwaizumi and Oikawa. They were second years in college now and it had been a while since all four of them got together. Sure, they texted all the time but they both felt a little...off just dropping the oh hey we finally got our heads out of our asses and are dating. What’s good?  

So Matsukawa decided that the best way was the subtle way. Make an instagram account dedicated to their couple shenanigans. Follow Oikawa. Say nothing and wait for Oikawa to rage text them in confusion. Again, they could have been upfront but when they weighed the options, this route had the utmost return favor of hilariousity.

The first post was rather iconic, if the duo had to say so themselves. They were holding hands and the picture was taken so you could only see Hanamaki’s hand holding Matsukawa’s as he was pulled down the street. Super aesthetic. Very hipster. Matsukawa even put a cheesy quote for the captain for effect: let your heart lead the way … love you.  It already had 80 likes even though it was posted a couple of hours ago. Which honestly made it ten times funnier because the comments section was filled with people asking more or less, the same questions Oikawa had. Minus all the rage.

“What picture do you wanna post next, babe?” Matsukawa gave his lover’s hand a squeeze. Even though they’ve only been dating for a day calling him babe sounded so right to his ears.

Hanamaki hummed, and then raised his eyebrows as the idea hit him. “Nudes?” another pause, his lips curling into a teasing grin. “ Tasteful nudes? So we’re safe for work.”

“Oh. Yes. Iconic. You’re a genius!” he leaned forward and Hanamaki leaned in halfway for a kiss. Not their first kiss, but their official first kiss as a couple. They pulled back, matching goofy grins on their face. Matsukawa tilted his head for another kiss when his phone buzzed.

ONE NEW MESSAGE!

From: iwazooms Sent at 4:30pm Congrats. Oikawa will figure it out by tomorrow. Until then I’ll play dumb :).

“I love that man,” Mattsun muttered, shaking his head as he shut his phone.

Hanamaki frowned, “Cheating on me already, babe? I thought you’d wait at least until you met that cute little air flight attendant on our second trip to Europe…”

“That’s still in the plans,” Mattsun grinned and Makki snorted.

“Asswipe.”

“Love you.”

“Love ya too. Asswipe.”

[breath0ftheglacian]

Wait you think you're done posting fanworks??? I literally have been reading fanfiction exclusively for smut since as long as i can remember... A man of no consequences literally has me rereading it and anxiously awaiting prologue updates because your style and story is unforgettable. I love your writing and if all good things must end ill have you know it's been an amazing run. Q~Q

Ahhh my darling Anon, thank you so much for your message. It gave me all kinds of feels.It’s the sweet, enthusiastic readers like yourself, and the community in general that have kept me coming back. I’m not completely drawing a line under ever doing fan works again but I can tell there won’t be much from me in the foreseeable future.Partially because I haven’t been playing the game for the whole summer and I feel a bit uninterested in all the shenanigans. Also I feel the stuff is becoming very repetitive and there aren’t many original ideas I can really get excited about enough to write. And thirdly, I simply don’t have as much time anymore, as I’ll have to direct my creative juices into actual degree work.At the moment I’m looking to finish the 2nd part of Ascension (which is a WIP) and that’ll probably be it... I toy with the idea of Prologue part 2 a lot as I know exactly what happens, but somehow I just feel a bit bored with it atm. I also feel that since the fandom has exploded there’s more demand for stuff like tentacled Ardyn (where the fuck did that even come from xD) and other things I’m not particularly interested in writing. In other words I feel like I’ve done my job with putting out the story that I wanted... and at least begun on my rockstar-past-Ardyn. He is super-delicious so I’ll be finishing the Prologue at some point, for sure, but I can’t promise anything anytime soon.Thank you for sticking around, Anon, and honestly thank ALL OF YOU because the positive and nurturing environment you’ve all created for writers has seriously helped many of us to take on projects we wouldn’t have done otherwise. I’ll still be around Tumblr and reblogging stuff here and stalking you guys, and you can also follow my personal blog @aliiis, or follow me on insta if you’re so inclined. 😘  😘  😘

[hugsfromdad]

Update - day 1 & 2 shenanigans:

So, yesterday I met up with my adopted trans brother. Ive posted a photo with him before. His cousin is graduating so we are out here together. It's probably the most incredible and perfect coincidence possible--we both would be miserable without the other.

So anyways, he and i hung out and went shopping together. People were checking us out and my mother was teasing me.

So then we get to the evening event and I saw a few people i knew.

But then, this chick sings "rise up" and... Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Her voice is absolutely incredible.

Now, I'm a musician. And I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to listening to performances. Usually I nit pick and pull apart performances. And im normally never really blown away by voices because I've heard so many good ones.

Y'all

This chick has an insane voice.

And her range.

I was literally shaking in my seat as i was listening. I kept covering my mouth and just..i was shook. I really was. I could not process what i was hearing. It was incredible.

..my trans bro absolutely fell in love with her and he then started texting our friends who go to the college (and i was asking my sister) if she was single. (I think she has a new boyfriend, not sure tho)

BUT ALSO, my sister showed us in the program that she wrote her thesis about accepting the LGBTQ community.

...this is a conservative Christian college btw..

Anyways, so after this whole thing ended, my trans bro had to leave with his family and my sister dragged me to go talk with her friends. Well, we're talking with a friend and i turn and see the chick with the amazing voice like right next to me. So, i make a mental note to say hi and compliment her voice.

Well, right as I turn to do it, she like reaches out to hug me and goes

"I have been wanting to say hi to you. I recognized you when you came in."

Im like "what?"

And this chick proceeds to like tells me she knows me from Instagram and I swear she was nervous talking to me. I felt so bad because I had no idea who she was besides the person with the amazing voice. I apologized for not knowing her and told her ive been off instagram for like 5 months and so I probably haven't seen her for a long time.

So, another person comes up and starts talking to her and I turn and leave.

Well, I am walking out and ask my sister whats her Instagram. I look her up, scroll once, and fucking lose it.

My former best friend who goes to this college had a massive crush on this chick. I didnt recognize her because she normally has tight curly hair, and she had straightened it. I saw one of her old Insta posts that was the one my friend sent to me when she was hardcore crushing on her.

Anyways, fucking gold. So funny. She followed me again on insta that night. I sent her a message, she hasnt seen it yet, so we'll see what happens ✌

Ight, day 2 outfit and what has happened so far:

So, i go to church and obviously get some stares. My tats are all showing with this outfit and so I'm quite happy.

Anyways, after church I go over and say hi to this guy i know from back home. He's a huge fan of my music and art and so he then asked me if i knew the girl standing nearby us. She looked like my age but I didnt know her so i said no. He calls her over and starts explaining what events we were both at and how we would know each other.

She then gets this weirdly shy and amused smile when i say "yeah, I used to have longer blonde curls" and she then asks "did you always wear the doc martins?"

And i go "yes"

And she just gives me this look and smile and quietly goes

"yes, i remember you."

I literally had to excuse myself and leave because I needed to laugh so badly.

Like wft idk if this chick hated me way back when, or was in love with me. The looks she was giving me was insane. Like the type of look that even tho they're glacing at your face, you feel like they're taking in your whole body.

It was fabulous.

Now I'm eating pizza before going back for more events. I'll keep y'all updated.

Also, I painted my nails a light pink sheen. It's not noticeable until i point it out, but its gorgeous and i feel really happy and its the first time ive painted my nails in 10 years.

So yah, I'm making a mess and having so much fucking fun

🍻 to hopefully making a gay ruckus

So, I’m at my sisters college graduation.

She goes to a christian college.

I’ve brought nice clothes and am ready for this.

Let’s make a mess✌

Outfit 1:

[scorpioslut-blog1]

Colonizing the Colonizer

Now’s a real exciting time to be alive. I had too much leisure time last week, following a grotesque week of three midterms, a paper, and a presentation, so naturally I partied for four consecutive days. Wednesday was a Jewish blur spent at AEPI (Jewish frat), made out with MANY MANY people (all either girl kisses or gay boy kisses), and at the end (pretty blacked) I felt the need to make out with an actual straight male so I pointed at the closest male and asked “Are you straight?” Upon affirmation I proceeded to make contact, so I guess 1/5 straight male ain’t too bad for the night. Anyway, next night--ended up at DKE for the first time with Leah, Briana, and Rocky, and after a long night of mocking the aggressively white population that surrounded us, drinking progressively more and more heavily, we eventually went outside (me for a smoke, everyone else to leave and send it to Fiji--eyeroll) but apparently had lost Leah. So we all went upstairs to find the bitch, and before you know it, we’re up in some room (after a lot of mixed and straight Vitali drinks and shots) socializing. I started talking to some guy I met in the bathroom with Rocky while Briana was finessed by some other dude, and apparently the dude I was talking to was in Berkeley Republicans (according to Rocky--I have no recollection of this statement). What I DID retain was him saying he was fine with gay people but didn’t like the ones that “make it their entire identity”, and DEFINITELY something creepy about Trump. He didn’t vote last November, but still complicit. And god--I really hope he isn’t a real Republican. Anyway, he’s a brother at DKE, and eventually, Rocky went downstairs to wait--actually that’s not true in retrospect--I ditched him to go upstairs with the Republican (his name was Ethan). And before you know it, we’re in his room hooking up while Blonde plays in the background. But apparently a lot happened in between. As for Rocky, he was kicked out by brothers whilst taking a bong rip, which he was very bitter about (he drunkenly texted me “I am the burdened queer man of color” HAHAHHA). That’s an entire ordeal on its own. As for me, we had originally left to find the roof of DKE. Well, not find it, since he knew where it was, but anyway, we went up there and split a stoke (cigarette, in laymen’s terms), flirting and possibly making out (ok, probably making out). Next thing I know, we’re in his room, door locked, dim neon lights on cuz it’s a party, hooking up while Frank Ocean’s most recent masterpiece plays in the background, specifically Nikes. Minus the whole Republican thing, it was a really nice and pleasant experience. I was REALLY horny, just the right level of drunk, and literally in his bed half naked ready to get some dick. And then he says he doesn’t fuck girls the first time he meets them??? Bitch what??? He said a few weird things that night so maybe he’s just weird. Like he kept compulsively lying about his age and increasing it. Because from what I gather he’s a 21 year old transfer student/senior now, but he kept raising the age even tho this fact had already been established. Like, “actually I’m 24... 27.... 34...” WHAT THE FUCK? Like he’s definitely still in college he’s a fucking brother there. Shit was weird. Anyway, he’s saying how he wants to see me again blah blah, between intense making out since we literally just kept making out nonstop whilst he did other stuff to my body, and I got the Snap and digits and all that good stuff. Eventually, we get up and leave the room since I’m like, ok, time to go home. He then goes to the bathroom and I figure he was just looking for an excuse to run out on me so I go to the door, and when I look back, he’s there with me. He actually walks me out, waits with me for the Uber, and we were literally still making out as my Uber arrived. He was a REALLY good kisser. Anyway, all of that really doesn’t add up because the next day (we had agreed to link up on Game Day at whatever frat we ended up at) he was at the same frat as me but I was too sober to go finesse, and by the time I was drunk enough, he said he was back at DKE. So he either had another girl home and left early (but that doesn’t make any sense?) or passed out/called it a day. I don’t know. And I haven’t talked to him since. But why would he go through all that effort and be a nice guy just to blow me off? Like literally all I want is to drunk fuck him. IT’S NOT THAT DEEP?

Anyway, that was most of my shenanigans, with more random fratnanigans for the rest of Friday, and Saturday was spent quite nicely (mostly). We got Ship’s tapestry and spent the day sitting in the grass at CKC with Rocky (who had graciously forgiven me for Thursday’s headassery), Rocky’s friend visiting from Davis, Ship, Mich, and Leah. It was just nice and chill. That night though, we went out with EVERYONE (whole Bool jawn squad), and I just was not feelin it at all. I was just on my sad boiz shit, emo as hell, in the empty smoker’s corner of every party. I was sick of everything, and honestly not drunk enough. So that night sucked. And Ship kept making out with me then I had to walk her home then I had to come back and mom everyone else’s asses. Sunday, at least, was a quite amazing and fun day. We all went to Dolores Park in San Francisco (except Ship who was hungover as fuck) and besides a certain someone being an annoying nuisance, it was one of the best days yet. It was beautiful outside, Dolores was beautiful, I was with amazing friends, we were high, listening to great music, taking pics and vids, vibing. Really amazing time. I won’t even go over the little annoyances.

Anyway, I’ve been talking to this dude on Tinder who’s this total Mac Demarco LA sk8er boi--like, hardcore skater boi--AND he’s Hispanic. It’s really a vibe, especially to get away from the horrors of the Republican DKE Brother Incident, and he seemed really dope till he said he’s pledging Pi Lam. Like he would be PERFECT except for that smh. He’s HARDCORE skater boi, too. Great cute lil skater boi insta, and ANOTHER insta dedicated to him and the squads’ skater boi vids. Great music taste, great look, and his avi is Che Guevara so also woke. Ugh, WHY must he be a Pi Lam pledge?!? And it gets worse--there’s this guy in Pi Lam named Joseph who I met during welcome week (he just sort of introduced himself and said he recognized me from some group message--I had no idea who he was but I played along since he’s sorta cute). Anyway, really sweet guy, hella tall, at least half black, Malcolm X glasses, a vibe in general, but not a fuckboi so I only hit him up of course when I’m drunk, late at night. So I did that Saturday night at like 3 am after a badddd night, pretty sober but just bored and wanting to hang out. I didn’t expect a reply but I was like fuck it it’s worth a shot. And the next day he replies saying he would’ve if he were awake, and then I explained that while that seemed like a drunken booty call it wasn’t, and he replied saying he woulda been down either way. Great guy that I keep in my back pocket. ANYWAY, he’s the fucking PLEDGE BROTHER of Daddy Che Skater Boi. Soooo... the plot thickens. I wanna finesse Chris (skater boi’s real name), but despite the fact that I linked him on Insta and he’s been liking the pix of this weekend’s bullshit, he hasn’t moved our pretty successful convo outta the Tinder messages to more appropriate spaces like Snapchat and iMessage. Will keep you updated.

[thanksforthefush-blog]

[LAZGAR] Linda and Zoe's Great American Roadtrip

TLDR; Linda and Zoe are alive. Linda turned 25, got blackout drunk (no surprise there). They decide to embark on a 3 month road trip and live in a van in very close quarters. They buy a car off a sweet, elderly man with the plate JESUS. They don't get to keep the JESUS plate but the van is named the Jesusmobile. There is a special place in the 7th circle of Hell reserved for them.

Okay so I didn’t mean to take another hiatus but the last 2 months have been the most stressful experience of my life. This will most likely take a few blog posts to cover so buckle in. Where do I even begin?

I celebrated my 25th birthday in America, which is pretty insane to think about it because the adult I am at 25 is most definitely not the 25-year-old adult I imagined when I was 18. I thought I’d be coming along in my profession, perhaps saving enough to put down a mortgage on a home (obviously this train of thought was most definitely before Auckland’s insane housing prices because I am currently in negative equity and can currently afford one cheeseburger) and perhaps be settling down with a partner, possibly kids on the horizon.

A post shared by Linda (@ltranny) on Aug 12, 2017 at 11:29am PDT

How it really turned out: I embarked on a 4-day bender, each night more blackout drunk than the last, got more tattoos, ended up on the front page of Reddit and topped it off by seeing J Cole and Anderson Paak in DC. So, no job, no house and no kids but had the best birthday imaginable so I guess it sorta evens out. And at this point was soon to be homeless as Zoe and I were going on a 48-state road trip and my lease was up at the end of August. I feel like I’m back at my first week of university again where I didn’t attend the orientation the week prior and so had fuck all idea of what I was supposed to do while everyone else seemed to have their shit together so someone please tell me if I managed to skip the orientation for my mid 20s?

A post shared by Linda (@ltranny) on Aug 9, 2017 at 10:56am PDT

Zoe’s internship ended at the end of August as well, and we decided to commit to the road trip. This meant looking at options at how we were going to get ourselves around the States and what our finances were (honestly, I don’t know about Zoe but mine were pretty bloody bleak since I spent all my money went towards rent, alcohol and Ubers in that order). We weighed up renting a car, trying to get companies to sponsor us to go on a road trip (lol, this did not work), taking public transport around or just buying a car and converting it into a camper.

The most cost-effective option was to buy a car and convert it into a camper. No one wanted to sponsor us (for obvious reasons, like who are these girls and their 100 followers on Insta) and renting a car meant we couldn’t convert it and we wouldn’t be able to resell the car onwards after to recoup some of our costs.

And so, the car hunt began.

Guys, do not take TradeMe for granted. It has a fantastic car selling service that is easy to use and navigate. Here in the States, the most common way of finding a car is through Craigslist. Its interface has not been updated since the 90s. It is hideous to use and there is no rating system so 9 times out of 10, you’ve probably found a dud. The site is archaic and has no place in modern society. How is it that the nation that brought us Uber and SpaceX the same nation that still uses Craigslist? Unfathomable.

It burns my retinas

I can write an entire blog post about my gripes with the DMV and buying a car in the US because it deserves its own standalone blog post. It is so awful, so inefficient and brought Zoe and I to tears. The process delayed our trip by 3 weeks at which point we decided to forego the 48 states plan, a plan I painstakingly created via spreadsheets and countless hours of planning and we will now never witness its glory (if you're curious, here is the link (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pX4bAfO-faQ44t3w0rVGcEL7NJYVw0PsOp-I6tVSEHU/edit?usp=sharing).

However, we are retaining its essential essence which is to visit all the Six Flags in America and we are well on our way onto that goal.

During this time, Zoe and I also had our first fight. We have been friends for years now and our threshold for each other’s shenanigans is pretty damn high. We have dealt with each other at our absolute worst (she has literally seen me black out drunk and completely naked) and nothing rocked us quite like dealing with the bureaucracy that is the DMV. We fought, we cried, we made up and then got really, really drunk to get over it and all was right in the world again.

We are currently on our road trip now so the spoiler alert is that it all worked out in the end. We ended up buying a $3250 Chrysler Town and Country off a sweet elderly man off Craigslist whose number plate was JESUS. We were obviously not worthy of such a license plate (in Pennsylvania, you take your number plates with you, unlike NZ where the number plate goes with the car) and have affectionately named our van the Jesusmobile. This is a vast improvement on the last nickname bestowed on the van used for our 8 day bender last New Years which was a Mazda people mover named the Mazdabator (credits to Snitch for the ingenuity).

The car was in fantastic condition and immaculately maintained as it was used as a church van. It had done just over 100,000 miles and was a steal for the price and condition we got it in. The idea was to get a car big enough so that Zoe and I could sleep in the back while we traversed the States. So far, it has worked out fantastically.

A post shared by Linda & Zoe (@thanksforthefush) on Sep 20, 2017 at 6:12pm PDT

I’ll eventually get around to writing up the specifics of the car conversion but we’ve been on the road for over a week now in the campervan and it’s pretty damn comfy. We’ve slept at Walmarts and quiet streets and have snuck into a Catholic university to use their showers so I’m sure that this was just the icing on the cake to ensure our place in the 7th circle of Hell.

We actually started the first leg of our trip, affectionately named LAZGAR for short, in Florida during the imminent Hurricane Irma which I’ll save for the next post.