#for me and the three other people of peter b nation

[lazyjellyfish300]

minors dni

NSFW below, x afab! reader.

a/n: all just my humble opinions. 🙂‍↕️ divider by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more

What would it be like to have sex with Peter B. Parker?

Let's see.

He would be very sweet. He might be.. a little all over the place at first. Especially at the prospect that this is actually happening. It's all very high school for him when he finds himself catching feelings for someone. He doesn't want to mess things up. He grew into a more confident man by becoming a superhero, but when you're alone with him, he's just Peter. That kind of vulnerability would have him second guessing himself just a little bit.

I think he would be...quite enthusiastic. Back to the enthusiasm, Peter B. is kind of a talker.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful. God, honey you're turning me on so much. This is incredible, can't believe this is happening-I aahhhhh..."

So he really needs someone patient. Someone to relax with him and laugh and just go with the flow, I think that will put him more at ease and endear him even more to you. So yes, foreplay might be kind of clumsy, but sweet all the same. Back to the enthusiasm, because of this, he might be a little forgetful.

Not in a selfish dick way, just got carried away too much in the heat of the moment because he's excited and oops he needs to spend a little more time pleasing you.

You would need to speak up with him and let him know what you need. And feedback in the form of praise would go straight to (both) his heads. Someone who's a little more dominant than he is would take him by surprise and light his fire in a good way. He loves to hear how good he's making you feel and loves it if you'd use him for your pleasure.

And if you want to capture his soul completely, being a giver of any kind with him would have him wrapped around your finger. He loves some good head. He'd tell you how beautiful you are while your lips are wrapped around his cock.

"Such an angel, honey. God you're so good at this..."

He's a moaner, gritting his teeth with his head thrown back, eyes closed as his resolve crumbles into whimpers, thrusting his hips into your mouth ever so lightly, thumb brushing your cheek as you let him fuck your throat.

And when you're done he'd make it his mission to get you back. His love of food translates well to other things. He's good with his tongue. I think he has an oral fixation. He'll take your tits, clit, and fingers in his mouth.

He has long, dexterous fingers (he is Spider-Man after all) and uses his middle and ring finger to massage your sweet spots, leaning in every so often to kitten lick your clit while he's watching you moan and react underneath him.

He loves breasts, nipples, hips, any and all all curves of his partner's body. He loves cowgirl while you're facing him for this reason. So he can see and worship all of you. It's very intimate and allows him to drive his cock into you as deeply as he can, and the position allows you the freedom to shift where you need to so that it feels just as heavenly for you as he slides his cock in and out. He'll keep still if you ask so you can adjust and just ride him for a little while. He loves to watch and he'd do so with his hands behind his head.

He'd be very soft with you if you're insecure, because honestly he's a little insecure too. You have so many other options, possibly someone younger, and yet you'd choose him. If you've been seeing one another for a while, an "I love you" could definitely slip out in the middle of the passion..

He needs someone to see him and appreciate him, and he'd do the same for you in return.

---

@gltzpzy @pxtched @spider-mon-de-parker

[goingsparebutwithprecision]

Five Ships In Five Fandoms

Thanking @tallangrycockatiel for the tag!

Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale, Teen Wolf

What can I say about them that hasn't been said a thousand times before by people more eloquent than I. A classic. The ultimate comfort ship.

Cyrano/Roxane/Christian, Cyrano De Bergerac

Cannot overstate the hold these three have on my heart! One of the most excruciating canon endings of all time. I can think about them endlessly. Just rotating them forever in my mind. The Cyrano/Christian kiss from the National Theatre 2022 production lives rent free in my brain. If I loved them less I might be able to talk about them more etc etc.

Lord Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane, the Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries

One of the slowest burns of all time. Starts with absolute clownery, the tragedy in the absurd of asking a woman on trial for the murder of her previous lover to marry you, continues with the spikiest most resentful discoveries of drift compatibility, the get-together comprises an entire book's worth of meditations on gratitude (the hatefulness thereof), inequality of gender class and intellect, whether intellectual honesty is more important than romantic loyalty (and/or one's continued ability to feed oneself), musical metaphors for relationship dynamics (anybody may have the harmony if they leave us the counterpoint!!!!!), and of course the massive continuity of ducks.

Cliopher Mdang/Fitzroy Angursell, Nine Worlds

OK actually maybe i take it back, strongest contender for slowest burn of all time??? In that these fuckers have been dancing around each other for something close to 1000 years (not a joke not an exaggeration time is fucky here). Although tbf. Tbqf&h. To be brutally Frank and Esme. I'm not sure I count those 1000 years in that we (the readers) were not actually there to witness that. But still. Where do I even start with these two.

That feeling when you've been installed as a puppet-god-king against your will for over a hundred years unable to choose your food or drink, experience sunlight, or touch another person (because if you do they will literally and immediately immolate because of magic curses) and although this would be cruel to do to anyone it is particularly cruel to do to you, nameless child and infamous anarchist poet revolutionary whose work shook the empire to its very foundations, and then you are finally sent a competent secretary who proceeds to steal your empire out from under you, dismantle it completely, institute universal basic income, universal housing, universal education, fix the post office, provide you with ships that fly?!?!, audit all of your government offices until every single speck of corruption is gone, end a world war and prevent there from every being another one, and all the while is humming your most treasonous song cycle under his breath for fully a thousand years. Oh and then he also journeys into myth and legend, through sky ocean to the house of the sun, essentially to barter fire from the gods, because he thinks he's not good enough for you.

Also such a wonderful nuanced portrayal of an ace/queerplatonic/this relationship-is-what-we-decide-it-is-but-the-most-important-thing-is-that-you're-it-for-me relationship. It's very queer. They're working it out as they go. It will break your heart and heal your heart. I cannot even.

Thara Celehar/Iana Pel-Thenhior, Cemeteries of Amalo

Another they are taking it so so slowly and I am all about it. There's a theme here somewhere I just know it. Sad wet cat detective man with life-destroying trauma talks to dead people, stray cats and this one guy who writes riot-causing opera and very gently invites him to dinner occasionally and helps him solve murder cases. We are two books in and they've only just a) held hands once and b) started using informal you to refer to each other. It's exquisite, I'm in hell.

No pressure tagging @ereborne @july-19th-club @morkaischosen @trans-cuchulainn and anyone else who's interested :)

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

18th May >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Saturday, Seventh Week of Eastertide 

or

Pope Saint John I, Martyr.

Saturday, Seventh Week of Eastertide 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 28:16-20,30-31 In Rome, Paul proclaimed the kingdom of God without hindrance from anyone.

On our arrival in Rome Paul was allowed to stay in lodgings of his own with the soldier who guarded him. After three days he called together the leading Jews. When they had assembled, he said to them, ‘Brothers, although I have done nothing against our people or the customs of our ancestors, I was arrested in Jerusalem and handed over to the Romans. They examined me and would have set me free, since they found me guilty of nothing involving the death penalty; but the Jews lodged an objection, and I was forced to appeal to Caesar, not that I had any accusation to make against my own nation. That is why I have asked to see you and talk to you, for it is on account of the hope of Israel that I wear this chain.’ Paul spent the whole of the two years in his own rented lodging. He welcomed all who came to visit him, proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching the truth about the Lord Jesus Christ with complete freedom and without hindrance from anyone.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 10(11):4-5,7

R/ The upright shall see your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia!

The Lord is in his holy temple, the Lord, whose throne is in heaven. His eyes look down on the world; his gaze tests mortal men.

R/ The upright shall see your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia!

The Lord tests the just and the wicked; the lover of violence he hates. The Lord is just and loves justice; the upright shall see his face.

R/ The upright shall see your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia!

Gospel Acclamation Colossians 3:1

Alleluia, alleluia! Since you have been brought back to true life with Christ, you must look for the things that are in heaven, where Christ is, sitting at God’s right hand. Alleluia!

Or: cf. John 16:7,13

Alleluia, alleluia! I will send you the Spirit of truth, says the Lord; he will lead you to the complete truth. Alleluia!

Gospel John 21:20-25 This disciple is the one who vouches for these things and we know that his testimony is true.

Peter turned and saw the disciple Jesus loved following them – the one who had leaned on his breast at the supper and had said to him, ‘Lord, who is it that will betray you?’ Seeing him, Peter said to Jesus, ‘What about him, Lord?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to stay behind till I come, what does it matter to you? You are to follow me.’ The rumour then went out among the brothers that this disciple would not die. Yet Jesus had not said to Peter, ‘He will not die’, but, ‘If I want him to stay behind till I come.’ This disciple is the one who vouches for these things and has written them down, and we know that his testimony is true. There were many other things that Jesus did; if all were written down, the world itself, I suppose, would not hold all the books that would have to be written.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

----------------------------

Pope Saint John I, Martyr 

(Liturgical Colour: Red. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading Apocalypse 3:14,20-22 If one of you hears me calling, I will come in to share his meal.

I, John, heard the Lord saying to me: ‘‘Write to the angel of the church in Laodicea and say, “Here is the message of the Amen, the faithful, the true witness, the ultimate source of God’s creation: Look, I am standing at the door, knocking. If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in to share his meal, side by side with him. Those who prove victorious I will allow to share my throne, just as I was victorious myself and took my place with my Father on his throne. If anyone has ears to hear, let him listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.”’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 22(23):1-3a,4-6

R/ The Lord is my shepherd: there is nothing I shall want.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want. Fresh and green are the pastures where he gives me repose. Near restful waters he leads me, to revive my drooping spirit.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd: there is nothing I shall want.

He guides me along the right path; he is true to his name. If I should walk in the valley of darkness no evil would I fear. You are there with your crook and your staff; with these you give me comfort.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd: there is nothing I shall want.

You have prepared a banquet for me in the sight of my foes. My head you have anointed with oil; my cup is overflowing.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd: there is nothing I shall want.

Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life. In the Lord’s own house shall I dwell for ever and ever.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd: there is nothing I shall want.

Gospel Acclamation John 15:1

Alleluia, alleluia! I call you friends, says the Lord, because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 22:24-30 I confer a kingdom on you, just as the Father conferred one on me.

A dispute arose between the disciples about which should be reckoned the greatest, but Jesus said to them: ‘Among pagans it is the kings who lord it over them, and those who have authority over them are given the title Benefactor. This must not happen with you. No; the greatest among you must behave as if he were the youngest, the leader as if he were the one who serves. For who is the greater: the one at table or the one who serves? The one at table, surely? Yet here am I among you as one who serves! ‘You are the men who have stood by me faithfully in my trials; and now I confer a kingdom on you, just as my Father conferred one on me: you will eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones to judge the twelve tribes of Israel.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[the-hem]

"The First Entity." From the Maha Upanishad, the Exploration of the Mysteries of the Atman.

V-57. ‘As an immense rock, covered with main lines and sub-lines, learn to regard the one Brahman with the three worlds superposed on It.

V-58. ‘Now it has been known that this problem world is not produced, as there is no second entity to serve as a cause. This alluring (world) may be looked upon as a marvel.

V-59. ‘Long agitated (as I have been, now) I am at rest; there is nothing other than pure Spirit. Laying aside all doubts, discarding all sense of wonder, behold !

The Book of Acts, 2: 1-22 has an amazing cohort to the above verses. It states mankind will use its faculties to engineer one Concept of God that will allow us to serve Him anywhere, in any language, in all the ways He explained in all the scriptures:

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.

 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 

3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

5 Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. 

6 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. 

7 Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? 

8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? 

9 Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia,[b] 

10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome 

11 (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” 

12 Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

13 Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.”

14 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. 

15 These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! 16 No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:

17 “‘In the last days, God says,     I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy,     your young men will see visions,     your old men will dream dreams. 18 Even on my servants, both men and women,     I will pour out my Spirit in those days,     and they will prophesy. 19 I will show wonders in the heavens above     and signs on the earth below,     blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20 The sun will be turned to darkness     and the moon to blood     before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21 And everyone who calls     on the name of the Lord will be saved.’[c]

We cannot fail to take advantage of the amazing opportunity our modern world has been given to call upon the Name of God in the performance of the work needed to be done to restore sound government, especially in America, end all the wars, house millions of refugees, and establish a fool proof model for life on earth.

President Biden is not doing his job. The Mormons and Republicans are running us into the abyss. Vladimir Putin is obviously not doing his job. The Chinese are warping and wrecking this planet as rapidly and as insidiously as possible. Instead of purpose, there is persecution everywhere. We are not road kill, laid out on the road to Heaven by the Russians, Mormons, Hamas and Chinese for their horrific pleasure.

Every life has a value and a purpose and this prophecy in the Book of Acts, which is coming true now, explains how to find it and make use of each one. We must not waste any more time doing so. Together, the freest and sanest persons on this planet can force the world's malfunctioning governments out of power and make them do the work God created them to do.

[ausetkmt]

WELLLLLLLLL @inyaboy you keep on tellin it and I'mma keep on tellin it - because he got PAID TO NOT TELL IT, even tho we all found out his truth after he was gone

Max Robinson, the nation’s controversial and troubled first black anchorman who was plagued in his final years by professional and personal demons, died Tuesday.

Before his death at age 49 at Howard University Hospital in Washington from the complications of AIDS, his family would not comment on reports that he had the fatal disease. But shortly after his death, United Press International quoted an old family friend, Roger Wilkins, as saying that Robinson’s posthumous wish was that his death be used to emphasize the need for AIDS treatment and education, especially among blacks.

‘Very Difficult Times’

In a Washington Post interview last May, five years after Robinson, Peter Jennings and the late Frank Reynolds formed a famous news troika for ABC, the failing anchorman reflected on the burdens he had long felt as a role model for black youth but refused comment on the alcohol and drug-abuse rumors that had plagued his career.

He had been thought near death in February when he was hospitalized in Chicago and the AIDS reports began to increase. “The curiousity has at times annoyed me,” he said shortly afterward. But he would not comment further, saying only, “I’ve had very difficult times.”

Once the darling of the airwaves, Robinson went from the summit of personal success at a $500,000 a year job to the depths of personal despair.

Married three times and the father of four children, Robinson had grown up in segregated Richmond, son of schoolteacher parents.

All his siblings became successful. A sister, Jewell, is an actress in Washington; his brother, Randall, is a Harvard-trained lawyer and head of the anti-apartheid group Transafrica, and a second sister, Jean, is director of public relations at a school of the arts in Chicago.

It was a snug, loving family, he said, and he was ill-prepared for the prejudice he encountered in his first TV job at a small station in Portsmouth, Va.

Robinson read the news but his face was never seen. One day he asked the cameraman to remove the sign “news” that covered the screen while he was reading and show the face behind the voice. The following day the station owner called and fired him.

“He’d gotten these calls from some irate whites who’d found out that one of ‘those’ people was working there.”

He moved to station WTOP in Washington, D.C., in 1965 as a reporter and, said Edward F. Ryan, a former news director, was “a guy who went after stories and got ‘em.”

“He had great presence on the air,” remembered James Snyder, vice president for news for Post Newsweek Stations, who worked with Robinson at WTOP. “He was a very meticulous dresser. He was a very proud man. He was very meticulous about his on-air performance. He rarely made a mistake. He was very conscious that he was a role model.”

But Snyder and others said Robinson was haunted by private demons. Friends said he labored under enormous pressure both because of his race and his fears of inadequacy.

Professionally he was at a peak he never again achieved, even when he reached the national level. In Washington, he even became part of the news when the Hanafi Muslims took over the B’nai B’rith headquarters in Washington and one of the sect leader’s first calls was to him.

Impressed with his seeming calm under fire, ABC beckoned.

In 1978, Robinson became the nation’s first black television network news star when he was made part of the three-anchor team of ABC’s “World News Tonight.” He was based in Chicago, working with Reynolds in Washington and Jennings in London.

Off camera, he proved himself feisty, complaining to network colleagues and superiors that news stories often did not reflect the black viewpoint.

“I remember someone once saying to me that I wasn’t a team player,” he told the Post in May. “And I said, ‘I’d be happy to play on the team if the rules were not structured against me and my people.’ ”

‘A Very Heavy Burden’

He grew stubborn and some said, arrogant, once showing up for an interview in a chauffeur-driven limousine.

And he sometimes showed up at the station late; sometimes not at all and sometimes drunk.

He made speeches about what he perceived as the racist nature of news coverage, which got him into trouble.

“Professionally, Max carried a very heavy burden for a while,” Jennings said on Tuesday. “He carried it with a lot of dignity. It wasn’t always easy for him.”

Finally, in 1983, the debonair, handsome and regally erect newsman who proffered the evening news as a royal gesture, departed the national scene.

What started the Emmy award winner’s downfall were speeches in which he criticized the media in general and his own network in particular for not assigning black reporters to the inauguration of President Reagan and the Iran hostage crisis. What apparently triggered his ouster was his not showing up for co-anchor Frank Reynolds’ televised funeral in which Robinson was to have been seated next to Nancy Reagan.

After leaving ABC, he became a co-anchor at WMAQ, the NBC-owned station in Chicago and then, in June, 1985, turned himself into a hospital in Cleveland for treatment of depression and alcoholism.

“I think one of my basic flaws,” he said in May, “has been a lack of esteem; not really feeling great about myself, always feeling like I had to do more. I never could do enough or be good enough. . . .

“In fact, it probably was the essential problem I had throughout my career, throughout my life.”

#Black Conscious 💚🖤❤️✊✨

[xtruss]

Jimmy Carter’s Rock-and-Roll Legacy

The former President has a surprisingly long list of musician friends, some of whom, in the past days and weeks, have been reflecting on the time they’ve had with him.

In recent weeks, the former President has mostly been listening to favorites like Willie Nelson, whose music helped get him through the Iran hostage crisis. Photograph by Thomas S. England/Getty

In the decades since Jimmy Carter left the White House, there have been many reconsiderations of the former President’s legacy. Among the more unexpected of these is “Jimmy Carter: Rock & Roll President,” a documentary released in 2020, which chronicles Carter’s overlooked relationship not only with rock and roll but also with country, jazz, folk, and other genres. The movie had accidental beginnings: its lead producer, Chris Farrell, who’d previously worked in finance and had never made a film, set out to make a movie about the Allman Brothers Band, a group that, like him, hails from Jacksonville, Florida. Then a friend suggested that he call up some people in Atlanta who had worked for Carter.

“They start telling me all these amazing stories about Carter and the Allmans,” Farrell recalled recently. Carter had struck up a friendship with the band’s members when he was the governor of Georgia, in the early nineteen-seventies. One night, Carter and Gregg Allman, the band’s lead singer, were drinking scotch on the porch of the Governor’s Mansion, and Carter told Allman he was going to be President. (Allman said that they had had “just about all” of a bottle of J&B; Carter recalled only “a drink.”) “We all thought, Oh, really,” Chuck Leavell, the band’s pianist at their peak, in the early seventies, told me. “But we did some concerts for him. We thought, Wouldn’t it be great to have a President from Georgia?” The band had split, temporarily, by the time Carter took office, but they were invited to some formal White House events. “We weren’t sure how to act,” Leavell said. Greg Allman came to one dinner with his then wife, Cher, who mistook a finger bowl for a drink and downed it.

The former Carter staffers Peter Conlon and Tom Beard had more stories—about Willie Nelson, for instance, who, Farrell learned, had smoked pot on the White House roof with the President’s son Chip. At Nelson’s Georgia shows, Carter would sometimes take the stage and pretend to play the harmonica during “Georgia on My Mind,” while Mickey Raphael was really playing it in the wings. After these and other tales, Farrell was about to say goodbye to Conlon and Beard when one of them asked, “Wanna hear about Bob Dylan?”

The stories that Farrell heard that day immediately changed his focus. (Conlon, who became an executive producer on the film, and is now the chairman of Live Nation Georgia, told me that making a film about “the first President to embrace rock music in his campaign” was his idea.) Farrell called an old friend, Mary Wharton, who had produced and directed a number of music-related TV shows. She agreed to direct the film. The veteran music journalist Bill Flanagan helped track down and interview the musicians who appeared in the movie: Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Larry Gatlin, Nile Rodgers, Jimmy Buffett, Rosanne Cash, Bono.

Dylan, who rarely grants interviews, was maybe the most coveted target on the filmmakers’ list. “Bob was the white whale,” Farrell told me. Flanagan, who was close with Dylan’s manager, put in a request, and eventually got good news. “Even on the day it finally happened,” Farrell said, “I remember waiting for him to show up and thinking, I don’t know.”

“He wanted to do his interview in a kitchen,” Wharton told me. “I was, like, I wonder if he’s gonna share some recipes with us.” They met at a house in Connecticut, near a gig that Dylan had at the time. When he arrived, Dylan made it clear that he didn’t like the kitchen. He helped Wharton decorate another room to his taste. (Among the items he suggested was a triptych of three goddesses.) “He’d come prepared with things he wanted to say,” Wharton told me. They did a few takes, as Dylan worked out the rhythm of his words. “There’s many sides to him,” he said, of Carter. “He’s a nuclear engineer, woodworking carpenter. He’s also a poet. He’s a dirt farmer. If you told me he was a race-car driver, I wouldn’t even be surprised.” It seemed to Wharton “like he’d written a song about Jimmy Carter.” Dylan also told the story of the first time he and Carter met. “The first thing he did was quote my songs back to me. It was the first time that I realized my songs had reached into, basically, into the establishment world.” He called Carter “a kindred spirit to me of a rare kind.”

“He’s not generally loquacious,” Conlon said, of Dylan. “But around Carter he’s totally different. He relaxes and tells stories. Not the Dylan you’re used to.” When Carter sat for his interviews for the movie, in 2018, “he was kind of rigid at first, but, when he realized that all we wanted him to do was talk about music, it was almost like a light bulb went off and you could see the joy emanating out of him as he recounted all these stories,” Farrell said. The former President described Dylan as “one of my best friends.”

Part of the argument of the documentary is that Carter, who is now ninety-eight and in hospice care, changed the relationship between rock and roll and political power. “Previously,” Conlon explained, “the thinking was that there was too much risk mixing politicians and rock and roll—‘You can’t be around this guy. He does drugs.’ But Carter was very accepting of people and their frailties.”

Beard helped put on concerts in support of Carter’s Presidential campaign—including one headlined by Lynyrd Skynyrd that nearly went off the rails when the singer Ronnie Van Zant was too tanked to perform—and later served as deputy assistant to the President. Beard’s basement office occasionally hosted musicians waiting their turn to see Carter. Among those who stopped by were members of the group Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Stephen Stills, who had performed in the concerts that Beard helped to organize, told me about the band’s visit. “We took the pictures and stuff,” he said. David Crosby’s 2006 memoir refers to an unnamed member of the band “smoking a joint somewhere in the White House, just to say he did.” Stills told me that Crosby himself, along with one of the band’s managers, “lit up a doobie in the Oval,” although people who worked in the White House at the time cast doubt on the likelihood of this. “I was so embarrassed I didn’t speak to him for a couple of days,” Stills said, insistent that it happened.

Stills found the connection to Carter ennobling: “He made you take yourself seriously, you know? In a very offhand kind of way, he’d kind of remind you that you had a part to play here. I don’t know, I bit.”

Conlon recalled another occasion in the White House, in 1977, when he was hanging out with Carter’s call screener one night “and Elvis called.” Apparently, Elvis called sometimes. “I talked to Elvis for a minute,” Conlon said. Years later, Conlon asked Carter about the call. “First of all,” he recalled Carter responding, “Elvis and I are cousins. The Carters and the Presleys go way back.” Then the former President explained: “Elvis was calling because a friend of his was in jail in Memphis for passing bad checks and he wanted me to give him a Presidential pardon.” Carter told him he couldn’t help.

Musicians were occasionally asked to do more than just play. “He tasked me to do things, and I’d carry them out,” Stills said, noting that, on a musical-diplomacy visit to Havana, in 1979, Carter’s people had told him, “Pay attention while you’re in Cuba.” He added, “It wasn’t transactional. I liked him. My favorite thing about Jimmy was his laugh. He had this sort of half guffaw and half bray that came out when he was really tickled.” I asked Stills when Carter had been the happiest during his Presidency. He was often happy, Stills said, “but I heard he had more fun at Camp David than any other time in his life—riding around between those little houses while he told them to say the helicopter is broken.” Stills was on the South Lawn the day that the Camp David Accords were signed.

“Musicians are drawn to his spirituality and authenticity,” Conlon said, offering a theory for why Carter became friends with so many of them. “He’s deeply soulful and open-minded. He doesn’t judge people. Wouldn’t that be nice, in the current political environment?” (Conlon once asked Carter what he thought about Donald Trump. He chuckled at the one-word answer that he said Carter gave, with a wry smile: “Interesting.”)

Jim Free, who served as special assistant to the President for congressional liaison, told me a story that seemed to illustrate this characterization. When China’s Ambassador visited the United States in 1979, Carter asked whether there was anything he could do for the envoy. The Ambassador was a fan of country music, and wanted to go to Nashville. Free was tasked with putting the visit together. The Ambassador saw the Fisk Jubilee Singers and visited the Grand Ole Opry. The weekend ended on Sunday morning, at the home of Tom T. Hall, the musician and short-story writer, who’d invited “everybody who was anybody in the Nashville music industry,” Free recalled. Minnie Pearl, Jimmy C. Newman, Johnny and June Carter Cash all came. “When it came time to say the blessing, there was this awkward moment,” Free said. “And all of a sudden John and June started singing, ‘Will the Circle Be Unbroken.’ I still get chills.”

Leavell appreciated Carter’s generous spirit, too, recalling a Newport-style jazz festival that took place on the South Lawn, which featured Dizzy Gillespie, Herbie Hancock, and Cecil Taylor, among others. “I remember Carter running over at the end of Taylor’s piece and giving him this huge hug,” Leavell told me. “I thought, If Carter gets that atonal stuff, that’s pretty cool.” Carter also joined Gillespie onstage to sing his bebop tune “Salt Peanuts,” which Carter did enthusiastically, later calling it “a very peculiar song.”

Before “Jimmy Carter: Rock & Roll President” premièred, Wharton asked Jason Carter, the President’s grandson, about the title. Jason told her, “He says that the two things he’s most proud of in the world are, No. 1, having a U.S. Naval submarine named after himself, and, No. 2, being called the rock-and-roll President.”

Conlon told me that, in recent years, Carter noted his admiration for current musicians, including Jason Isbell, the singer-songwriter formerly of the Drive-By Truckers. But, at home in Plains, Georgia, in recent weeks, in the same house where he has lived since 1961, he has been listening to favorites like Willie Nelson, who helped get him through the Iran hostage crisis. “I would play Willie Nelson music primarily,” Carter said, of the time that he spent alone, in his study, in 1980, “so I could think about my problems and say a few prayers.”

Stephen Stills said, “Jimmy thought that the artists had a kind of a view over the horizon by intuition that some other people didn’t—a canary-in-a-coal-mine sort of aspect to us that he paid attention to. And he called upon us to comment, and he supported our commentary—the troubadour aspect to us. He just liked our deal.” ♦

[brooklynmuseum]

Closing out National Poetry Month, our Spring Interns paired some of their favorite poems with works from our collection. We hope you enjoy!

— Jeffrey Alexander Lopez, Curatorial Intern, American Art & Arts of the Americas

Image: Suzuki Harunobu (Japanese, 1724-1770). Page From Haru no Nishiki, 1771. Color woodblock print on paper. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Peter P. Pessutti, 83.190.1

from Citizen: “Some years there exists a wanting to escape...” [Excerpt] By Claudia Rankine 

/

I they he she we you turn only to discover the encounter

to be alien to this place.

Wait.

The patience is in the living. Time opens out to you.

The opening, between you and you, occupied, zoned for an encounter,

given the histories of you and you—

And always, who is this you?

The start of you, each day, a presence already—

Hey you—

/

— Halle Smith, Digital Collections Intern Catherine Green (American, born 1952). [Untitled] (West Indian Day Parade), 1991. Chromogenic photograph, sheet. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of the artist, 1991.58.2. © artist or artist's estate 

Ode to Enchanted Light by Pablo Neruda

Under the trees light has dropped from the top of the sky, light like a green latticework of branches, shining on every leaf, drifting down like clean white sand.

A cicada sends its sawing song high into the empty air.

The world is a glass overflowing with water.

Consuelo Kanaga’s black and white photograph captures a dazzling, yet fleeting moment from everyday life. Three textured glasses cast shadows whose patterns are almost kaleidoscopic in effect. We can imagine Kanaga passing by her kitchen table, as she is brought to a halt to take a closer look at, and ultimately to photograph, the simple beauty generated by the play of light and everyday objects. The close-up scale of this image emulates the singularizing framing techniques deployed by Surrealist photographers, who also took parts of everyday life and blew them up in the photographic frame, thereby encouraging their viewers to look at life around us from a different angle. It is a way of saying: Here, take a closer look. Viewing the world with wonder, along with the joy that this act brings, are encapsulated in Pablo Neruda’s poem Ode to Enchanted Light. The speaker observes the way light passes through trees and creates enchanting patterns. He not only observes, but feels the beauty in the simple details of life, from the way light falls from the sky, to the sheen of leaves, to the buzzing of cicadas. Approaching life through such a hopeful lens evokes a glass-half-full perspective. In fact, the speaker is so hopeful that he believes “The world is/a glass overflowing/with water.” I think Kanaga would have felt the same way. 

— Kirk Testa, Curatorial Intern, Photography Consuelo Kanaga (American, 1894-1978). [Untitled] (Glasses and Reflections). Gelatin silver photograph. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Wallace B. Putnam from the Estate of Consuelo Kanaga, 82.65.25

Easter Wings By George Herbert

Lord, who createdst man in wealth and store,

      Though foolishly he lost the same,

            Decaying more and more,

                  Till he became

                        Most poore:

                        With thee

                  O let me rise

            As larks, harmoniously,

      And sing this day thy victories:

Then shall the fall further the flight in me.

My tender age in sorrow did beginne

      And still with sicknesses and shame.

            Thou didst so punish sinne,

                  That I became

                        Most thinne.

                        With thee

                  Let me combine,

            And feel thy victorie:

         For, if I imp my wing on thine,

Affliction shall advance the flight in me.

Easter Wings by George Herbet and Martin Bach’s flower vase from the Brooklyn Museum’s Decorative Arts collection reveal the interrelationship between form and function. In Easter Wings, Herbert strategically varies the line length to create an image that enhances the meaning of the poem; when you turn the poem on its side, it resembles the wings of a bird, of which are symbolic of the atonement of Jesus Christ. In doing so, the author is not only telling us his message, but he is showing it visually as well. Similarly, the vase takes the visual form of its function. Its floral design amplifies the meaning of the object, as the vase is meant to hold flowers. In both instances, we see how aesthetic properties of a work echo the meaning and function of the work itself.

— Amy Zavecz Martin Bach (American, 1862-1921). Vase, ca. 1905. Opalescent glass. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Alfred Zoebisch, 59.143.16. Creative Commons-BY 

I am the Earth (Watashi wa chikyu) [Excerpt] by Kiyoko Nagase, Translated by Takako Lento

I am warm, moist soil  I am a single supple stalk  I draw my life  all the way up into corollas of wild berries on the roadside 

I am amazed at  a breast of water welling  to flow into the inlet of a muddy rice paddy  I am amazed at  myself being  hot steam blowing fire and sulfur up  from the bottom of the great ocean, deep indigo.  I am amazed at  the crimson blood flow  covering the earth’s surface in human shape;  I am amazed that it swells as the tides ebb and flow, and gushes out monthly under distant invisible gravity … I am the earth.  I live there, and I am the very same earth. 

In the four billionth year  I have come to know  the eternal cold moon, my other self, my hetero being,  then, for the first time, I am amazed that I am warm mud.

The vivid imagery conjured up by Kiyoko Nagase’s poem is beautifully visualized by Emmi Whitehorse’s painting. The emphasis on deep Earth tones and abstract corporeality in both the poem and the painting really creates an intense metaphysical link between the environment and the self.

— Amanda Raquel Dorval, Archives Intern Emmi Whitehorse (Navajo, born 1957). Fire Weed, 1998. Chalk, graphite, pastel and oil on paper mounted on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Hinrich Peiper and Dorothee Peiper-Riegraf in honor of Emmi Whitehorse, 2006.49. © artist or artist's estate

Seventh Circle of Earth by Ocean Vuong

On April 27, 2011, a gay couple, Michael Humphrey and Clayton Capshaw, was murdered by immolation in their home in Dallas, Texas.

Dallas Voice

                                          1

2

                                              3

                                       4

                                               5

     6

                                                                                            7

________________________________________________________

As if my finger, / tracing your collarbone / behind closed doors, / was enough / to erase myself. To forget / we built this house knowing / it won’t last. How / does anyone stop / regret / without cutting / off his hands? / Another torch

streams through / the kitchen window, / another errant dove. / It’s funny. I always knew / I’d be warmest beside / my man. / But don’t laugh. Understand me / when I say I burn best / when crowned / with your scent: that earth-sweat / & Old Spice I seek out each night / the days

refuse me. / Our faces blackening / in the photographs along the wall. / Don’t laugh. Just tell me the story / again, / of the sparrows who flew from falling Rome, / their blazed wings. / How ruin nested inside each thimbled throat / & made it sing

until the notes threaded to this / smoke rising / from your nostrils. Speak— / until your voice is nothing / but the crackle / of charred

bones. But don’t laugh / when these walls collapse / & only sparks / not sparrows / fly out. / When they come / to sift through these cinders—& pluck my tongue, / this fisted rose, / charcoaled & choked / from your gone

mouth. / Each black petal / blasted / with what’s left / of our laughter. / Laughter ashed / to air / to honey to baby / darling, / look. Look how happy we are / to be no one / & still

American.

Ocean Vuong’s “Seventh Circle of Earth” has persisted as one of the great, affective moments of poetry in my life since I first heard Pádraig Ó Toama’s gorgeous reading and discussion of it on his podcast, Poetry Unbound. I decided to pair Vuong’s poem with Mary Coble’s Untitled 2 (from Note To Self) because both works are urgently immersive into the violence and experience of LGBTQ people in the U.S., and for how each work uses text and physicality to address presence, pain, and erasure. Vuong’s poem is actually footnoted to a quote from a news article about a gay couple murdered in Texas. The page is thus blank, absent of text. The reader has to sink below the main stage, the accepted space of word and story, to find the voices of this couple and the depth of their story’s tenderness, eroticism, and utter devastation. Coble’s piece foils the structure and effect of Seventh Circle of Earth by taking what was subverted by Vuong—text and the narrative of violence—wholly to the surface. Her photograph captures her own legs tattooed without ink with the names of LGBTQ individuals victimized by hate crimes. I cannot help but think of Franz Kafka’s short story “In the Penal Colony,” in which prisoners’ “sentences'' are inscribed by the needle of a “punishment apparatus” directly onto their bodies. I was struck by how the curator’s note for this photograph describes Coble’s artistic endeavor here as “harrowing.” The needle in Kafka’s short story is indeed called “The Harrow”. The noun harrow is an agricultural tool that combs plowed soil to break up clumps of earth and uproot weeds and clear imperfections. The verb to harrow means to plague, and in the story’s original German the verb for “harrow”, eggen,  is also translated as “to torment”. Kafka and Coble conflate these definitions of “the harrow” in their respective works: they use a needled device, like the true noun definition, as an instrument of torment because of someone else’s idea of punishment and justice. Here, violence is brought to the surface, intimate in as much as we are brought right up to the artist’s skin and into the presence of her and her community’s pain. Together, one can see how each creator physicalizes their respective artistic space to tell the stories of LGBTQ people, of what is tender and harrowing, below the surface and written into the skin. 

— Talia Abrahams, Provenance Intern, IHCPP Mary Coble (American, born 1978). Untitled 2 (from Note to Self), 2005. Inkjet print. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of the artist, 2008.10. © artist or artist's estate 

To my daughter Kakuya   by Assata Shakur  

I have shabby dreams for you   of some vague freedom   I have never known.   Baby   I don't want you hungry or thirsty   or out in the cold.   and I don't want the frost   to kill your fruit   before it ripens.   I can see a sunny place  Life exploding green.   I can see your bright, bronze skin at ease with all the flowers   and the centipedes.   I can hear laughter,   not grown from ridicule   And words not prompted   by ego or greed or jealousy.   I see a world where hatred   has been replaced by love.   and ME replaced by WE   And I can see a world replaced                                       where you,   building and exploring,   strong and fulfilled,   will understand.   And go beyond my little shabby dreams. 

This poem is featured in Assata Shakur’s memoir, Assata: An Autobiography. It details her hope for a better world that  her daughter can grow up in. This poem is positioned in the book when Shakur is facing increasing prosecution as a result of her  activism and affiliations with the Black Panther Party and Black Liberation army. Being written more than 30 years after this picture  was taken, the poem summons me to think about the trauma that many Black women face and how much of that trauma gets passed  down to their children. The black and white photo of a mother and daughter provides a nice visual to the poem. “The image of a Black  mother and child sitting on their luggage reflects the little-discussed history of segregated transportation in the northern United States. Through the 1940s, Penn Station officials assigned Black travelers seats in Jim Crow cars on southbound trains” (Brooklyn Museum). The photograph of train passengers waiting outside of Manhattan’s Pennsylvania Station especially echoes the verse “I don’t want you  hungry or thirsty or out in the cold.” The overall optimistic tone of Shakur’s poem alters our relationship to the image as we imagine  the mother pictured above hoping for the exact same things

— Zaria W, Teen Programs intern Ruth Orkin (American, 1921-1985). Mother and Daughter at Penn Station, NYC, 1948. Gelatin silver photograph, sheet: 13 15/16 × 11 in. (35.4 × 27.9 cm). Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mary Engel, 2011.22.3. © artist or artist's estate

Crunch.  By Kailyn Gibson 

I retch as a mass of sinew lies between my lips.  The sensation is unbearable.  Fortunately, the jar of flies has gone missing again. 

Slowly, surely, and yet never sure at all,  the quiet of buzzing rings through the in-between. 

It is a symphony wrought from blood and bone. 

Saliva drips from bleeding, hungry gums,  And the crunch of glass echoes the grinding of molars.

If I proffered a sanguine smile, would masticated shards look like teeth?  Would they gleam just as prettily?  

The flies ring,  and the rot calls. 

— Kailyn Gibson Edgar Degas (French, 1834-1917). Portrait of a Man (Portrait d'homme), ca. 1866. Oil on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Museum Collection Fund, 21.112 

Excerpt from Autobiography of Red A novel in verse by Anne Carson

7. If Helen’s reasons arose out of some remark Stesichoros made either it was a strong remark about Helen’s sexual misconduct (not to say its unsavory aftermath the Fall of Troy) or it was not.

8. If it was a strong remark about Helen’s sexual misconduct (not to say its unsavory aftermath the Fall of Troy) either this remark was a lie or it was not.

9. If it was not a lie either we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way we are likely to arrive back at the beginning of the question of the blinding of Stesichoros or we are not.

10. If we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way are likely to arrive back at the beginning of the question of the blinding of Stesichoros either we will go along without incident or we will meet Stesichoros on our way back.

11. If we meet Stesichoros on our way back either we will keep quiet or we will look him in the eye and ask him what he thinks of Helen.

12. If we look Stesichoros in the eye and ask him what he thinks of Helen either he will tell the truth or he will lie.

13. If Stesichoros lies either we will know at once that he is lying or we will be fooled because now that we are in reverse the whole landscape looks inside out.

This excerpt comes from Appendix C of Anne Carson’s Autobiography of Red, a novel in verse. A translator and classicist herself, Carson mixes fact with fiction in her unconventional retelling of the myth of Geryon and Hercules, beginning with a roundabout introduction to the poet Stesichoros. Autobiography presents a captivating example of recent Queer projects that take up Classical material as their basis. A fascination with the Classical past has pervaded our modern conception of sexual identity politics, down to the very etymology of the word “lesbian.” In this fascination, I see the same desire to capture Classical imagery as cultural heritage which has also pervaded American museums, albeit with significantly different aims. The fresco pictured above comes to mind, which passed through many collectors and was even purchased by the museum before anyone pegged it as a modern piece—not an original Roman fresco. John D. Cooney, a 20th century curator of our Egyptian, Classical, and Ancient Near Eastern Art collection, wrote that “the unclad and somewhat winsome charms of the lady [probably] diverted objective glances.” Both in the case of the fresco and Carson’s novel, the “unclad and somewhat winsome charms” of the Classical past shape and reshape our understanding of history.

— Kira Houston, Curatorial Intern, Egyptian, Classical, and Ancient Near Eastern Art Modern, in the style of the Roman Period. Part of a Fresco, early 19th century C.E. Clay, paint. Brooklyn Museum, Ella C. Woodward Memorial Fund, 11.30.

Late Fragment by Raymond Carver From A New Path to the Waterfall, Atlantic Monthly Press, 1989.

And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

— Shori Diedrick Brackens (American, born 1989). when no softness came, 2019. Cotton and acrylic yarn. Brooklyn Museum, Purchased with funds given by The LIFEWTR Fund at Frieze New York 2019, 2019.12. © artist or artist's estate

Jaguar By Francisco X. Alarcón

some say                                    dicen que ahora                  I'm now almost                           estoy casi extinto       extinct in this park                      por este parque    but the people                            pero la gente who say this                               que dice esto don't know                                 no sabe that by smelling                          que al oler   the orchids                                 las orquídeas in the trees                                 en los árboles they're sensing                          están percibiendo  the fragrance                             la fragancia of my chops                              de mis fauces  that by hearing                          que al oír the rumblingc                            el retumbo of the waterfalls                        de los saltos  

they're listening                         están escuchando          to my ancestors'                       el gran rugido   great roar                                  de mis ancestros

that by observing                      que al observar     the constellations                      las constelanciones     of the night sky                         del firmamento 

they're gazing                           están mirando at the star spots                       las motas de estrellas    on my fur                                  marcadas en mi piel that I am and                            que yo soy always will be                           y siempre seré the wild                                     el indomable

untamed                                  espíritu silvestre living spirit                               vivo de esta of this jungle                            jungla

While the author of the poem speaks about animals, their words can also speak on behalf of the erasure of indigenous peoples in South America. Much like the jaguar, indigenous traditions and culture are very important to life in South America. Despite their marginalization, Indigenous peoples throughout the Andes used coca leaves to help with the altitude. The use and cultivation of coca are criminalized throughout most of South America despite it being essential to indigenous cultures. This vessel was used to contain lime which would activate the coca leaves.  Much like the jaguar, indigenous traditions are also faced with endangerment despite being woven into the fabric that is Latin America. Through the opposite man and woman figures, the vessel shows the duality that is important to the Quimbaya people which is still relevant to Colombians today.

Aunque el autor del poema habla sobre los animales, sus palabras también comunican el sentimiento común de la supresión de los indígenas en Suramérica. Con la mención del jaguar, se puede entender en el poema que la cultura y las tradiciones de las personas que son indígenas son sumamente importantes para la vida en Sudamérica. A pesar de su marginación, los indígenas en Los Andes utilizan la hoja de coca para ayudar en la altura de las montañas. El uso y el cultivo de la hoja de coca fue criminalizado (penalizado) a través de Sudamérica, aunque su uso para los indígenas era vital y esencial para su cultura. Este recipiente que se utiliza contiene limón lo que activa la hoja de la coca. Similarmente al jaguar, las tradiciones de los indígenas siempre estaban en peligro aunque estuvieran entrelazadas en las telas de lo que sería Latinoamérica. A través del hombre opuesto y las figuras de mujeres, el recipiente muestra la dualidad de lo que es importante para las personas que son Quimbaya, algo que todavía hoy es relevante para los Colombianos.

— Jeffrey Alexander Lopez, Curatorial Intern, American Art & Arts of the Americas Quimbaya. Poporo (Lime Container), 1-600 C.E. Tumbaga. Brooklyn Museum, Alfred W. Jenkins Fund, 35.507. Creative Commons-BY 

[cryingyetcourageous]

He was silent as Peter explained himself, silent as he brought up his limited time left as an immortal, and silent as he weighed how best to respond to this without upsetting Peter further. He had to break it down piece by piece. Deep breath, try not to cry.

"That's kind of a shit plan." Ah. That. . . was not what he intended to lead with, if the following grimace and wince of apology were any indication. "Sorry, I - Y-You have to be stepping outside of yourself and your feelings towards your own life. You have been through so much, too much, but. . . not knowing what you are wouldn't have saved you from it all. It only would have added confusion. Knowing we exist is not 'carrying hell.' She will not be active-duty fort, she has a loving and supportive family, and she will be safe and happy. She w-will not have to deal with - with worrying for her citizens or political issues or anything. Being able to live longer doesn't doom her to some unbearable fate."

"What will be traumatic, without any doubt, is when she figures out you have been lying to her. Is not a secret: is a lie. Your feelings on this matter, I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is, b-but no matter how strong they are, she has a right to know who and what she is. She will notice time passing. Do you plan for her to never know the year? I-If she is physically three or younger by the time you become mortal, maybe it could work, but once she's old enough to form memories? Twenty to thirty years is a-a long time. What about when she sees her birth certificate? What about birthdays? Peter, the effort you would have to go through to keep this from her will make her grow resent you when she's old enough to connect the pieces, a-and she will feel like her entire life was a lie. She will never trust you or anyone. Th-That is not saving her."

She didn't need to know about the Kirklands, she didn't have to do a meet-n-greet with every nation, or meet any of them at all. She still had to be told what she was. She needed to have a word for why she felt different from her peers, why her memories of childhood spanned multiple decades with changing culture and people. She needed to find out, and it needed to be Peter who told her.

"It will be much easier to stomach if she knows from very beginning, if is as casual as you have ten fingers, you have two ears, y-you are a nation. She is not needing to full understand it, but to grow into that understanding and have her father there every step of the way? Th-That would let her know herself, a-and let her know that she can trust you. I don't have to meet her. I-I understand not wanting me in her life! That's fine! But, for her own sake, just. . ."

Peter's tone before had been so firm, he doubted if any of his points would get through. Were it anyone else, Raivis would call it as he saw it: cruel and selfish. It was not shielding her from anything. She would still suffer some of the pains of immortality, she would still feel the effects of her home degrading, and she would still figure it out because of course she would. She'd either figure it out or truly believe she was losing touch with reality. How else could it end?

But he couldn't muster up the energy to be mad, not at him, not for this. After a childhood of serving others and a lifetime of nothing but pain in return, he had every right to want to be selfish for once, to not force himself to relive his own past by explaining their existence over and over to child who would only keep asking more questions - likely sensitive questions - as she grew. Raivis couldn't find the energy to be mad at being deemed too unstable to meet her, either.

All he could feel was a weight in his heart that made every pulse feel like it was chiseling away. ". . . just. . . p-please, please reconsider. Please."

"I have thought about it!" Peter shot back with more exasperation than he knew was necessary. "Like, I can tell her that she's still so small while everyone's getting bigger because she was born a preemie, and that's just what happens to them." Now, that was a joke. Or, it was meant to be a joke, but as Peter said it out loud, he considered it, and how long that lie would work for a gullible child until they outgrew the gullibility.

Peter took another sip, a swig this time, wishing that the damn tea would work to calm his nerves. Goddamn, did he wish he hadn't quit drinking; a long pull of whiskey would have been perfect now. "But seriously, you don't think I haven't thought about this?" Of course, he had; he broke his own heart every night imagining Sadaf watching her mother go gray, becoming too frail to take care of her daughter, crawling closer and closer to the grave as she became old enough to be Sadaf's grandmother. And her half-siblings; god, it was going to hurt to see his daughter, who'll probably be physically five or six, watch her sister and brother reach their thirties. But--

"I have. I really did, and it sucks. It's going to suck. But it's better than the alternative. She can't know about this existence or others like her--" except her family and, now, apparently, Raivis, "-- because you know how fucked up we all are? Almost none of us are stable! The ones even close to stable are my fathers and uncles, and they're going to give her more than enough of what she needs.

"And what she needs is to be happy." Finally, he looked back at Raivis. Once upon a time, Peter was terrified of mortality. Was terrified of becoming human, which seemed to come so easily for micronations, and all the issues that came with it, like becoming sick over and over and slowly fading away. Hutt River and Niko Republic, now wandering the earth as fragile and vulnerable, with no guarantee of waking up when he die. And he was still terrified. But there was an unshakeable resolve in his voice as he said, "Sadaf and I will become human soon. Sealand still has twenty, maybe thirty years tops before it finally falls apart, and that's if it doesn't dissolve before then. When she becomes human, I don't want Sadaf to spend the rest of her short life carrying the hell of being a geopolitical demigod like we have. "

The hell of dying of starvation and illnesses in his isolated little fort, only to wake up and do it all over again. To have his dreams crushed and his hard work ignored, his accomplishments mocked, and to be brushed aside unless they wanted a jester to perform for them or smile while they humiliated him. To be told that he would never be enough, he would never matter to Arthur, or anyone, in the way that Alfred or Matthew would, and still, still, he would have had to swallow his pride and beg Arthur for scraps to eat. He could be adopted by Berwald lifetimes over, and bask in the delight and warmth of Raivis' welcome and love, and he would still be that lonely, lost, feral little boy.

And though that despair came back to crush his soul, and though he was to the brink of tears, there was a hardness beyond the exhaustion Peter's eyes. "I don't know what I'll tell her when the time comes, but I know this: she's not going to know about this life. She's not going to know about her shitty bio family just like they don't need to know about her. She's going to have the happy childhood that I haven't had, and she's not going to grow up damaged like I have."

He drained the rest of his tea and set the cup on the table. "Besides, it's only going to be for the next twenty years; I think I can manage to keep up the ruse for that short time. After that, she can have all the normal connections she can make."

[baroquespiral]

Capitalism and the Abyss

Ominously, it was on New Year’s Day 2020 that I found out what was the deal with Nick Land’s Twitter avatar. I had already been dealing with an escalating psychosis around repeating numbers for the past ~month.  Now, thanks to being asked its meaning by someone themselves pretty deep into investigating the links between the far right and the occult, I learned that the 3:33 represented in Land’s avatar was an occult reference to the Demon of Dispersion, Choronzon.

Actually, according to Land’s own post on Xenosystems, it was the gematria for Dark Enlightenment.  333 is also gematria for Choronzon, the connection suspected by the person who contacted me searching for this information, and made by one or two people in his comments - though Land genuinely seems not to know when he picked it, or chose the fateful words for his movement.  Which is a little frightening when you realize Land’s been talking about nothing but dispersion for the past several years - or arguably his entire career, going back to the essay on “stellar dispersion” in Trakl.  “The best current cosmology is accelerationist or disintegrationist”, he writes in Jacobite, proposing the Dark Energy driving the unexplained expansion of observed space as a cosmic principle underlying the inevitable separation into isolated “light-cones” of nations, sovereign corporations and informational nodes. Choronzon in Thelema is not such a universal principle: it has a very specific role.  The “Abyss” it occupies is the realm separating the rest of the sephirot from the “Supernal Triad”, the highest level of reality in the Kabbalah (the highest three sephira - Binah, Hokhmah and Keter).  To achieve knowledge of and oneness with this Supernal Triad, the maximum of one’s human, spiritual and magical potential, an aspiring magus must “cross the Abyss”, a mysterious ordeal understood as entailing a complete dissolution of one’s ego and identification with the pure spirit of love under will.  Choronzon is the principle of dispersion that makes this dissolution possible, but also the last roadblock to Enlightenment; if the initiate fails to give up everything they are, not only their ego but their higher self will be dispersed throughout the Abyss instead of crossing; more prosaically, by most accounts, they will go insane, becoming perhaps permanently incapable of correlating the contents of their prematurely expanded mind. The standard procedure for initiating the crossing involves taking the “oath of the Abyss”. The principal, most unique point of this oath is that "I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul”.  It’s fairly easy to imagine how one would either go insane or become enlightened from doing this. But as someone who was more or less unconsciously holding myself to this epistemology for years, and then did a chaos magick ritual for invoking the Holy Guardian Angel under the mistaken impression (fuck you Peter Carroll) that it required taking this oath (Crowley does not recommend it until after you have attained the Knowledge & Conversation of your Holy Guardian Angel), I can specify the immediate nature of the crisis it forces on you: a dizzying overload of information.  Information onto which it’s possible to project absolutely any pattern you might consciously or unconsciously be looking for: “any unnecessary or imbalanced scraps of ego” that “bloat.... into grotesque monsters known variously as the demon Choronzon”. Sound familiar? I can’t find it any more but there’s already an article - it might have been an Erik Davis? you can find more of him saying this - arguing that the online world of information overload, accelerated by the isolation of the pandemic, is a social-cultural form of Robert Anton Wilson’s “Chapel Perilous”. Robert Anton Wilson doesn’t share Crowley’s exact ontology but was familiar and conversant with him, and Chapel Perilous seems to have been deliberately his equivalent to the Abyss (which he even describes himself as crossing in one chapter of Cosmic Trigger): the apparent choice it poses to “become stone paranoid or agnostic.... there is no third way” is certainly parallel. (Crowley I doubt would describe the state of being reborn in the womb of Babalon in terms as mundane as agnosticism, so feel free to argue about which of them actually made it across, if either.)  But digital media psychosis is only an aspect of the broader pairing of “capitalism and schizophrenia”, the disintegrative force of modernity that Marx summed up in “all that is solid melts into air”; a dynamic that isn’t even purely psychological, at least as pertains to the psychology of individuals, but relates in the exact same way to the psychology of individuals and the distributed psychology of the civilization producing them. I have increasingly come to think that mapping those phenomena to the Abyss clarifies a great deal about where we stand, what our current epistemic-societal breakdown actually is, and what its stakes are.  Nick Land seems to have figured this out, consciously or unconsciously, and decided there is nothing beyond the Abyss, that Choronzon-Capital-Information, arbitrary power asserting itself contingently over disintegrating abstract units, is the only possible reality; and the future he imagines in which this principle becomes universally dominant is the civilizational equivalent to becoming a Black Brother.  If Crowley is right, there is an alternative, one whose benefits are more than proportionate to the risks, and one that’s surprisingly formally similar to the relation of dispersion to reintegration in Marx.  (Well, look at dialectics and Kabbalah.)  And as the early accelerationists argued the only way out is through.  But that way is supposed to be a) almost unthinkably hard and b) not really even describable from the other side.  To this point the crossing of the Abyss has only been attempted, much less succeeded, by rare individuals, but now whatever our level of attainment or realization as individuals, we are part of a planetary civilization that has been dissolved in it.  And may have done so before it was ready - I have no idea what “ready” would mean on a trans-individual scale, but my tweets about science and alchemy are a half-joking speculation on where we may have gotten off on the wrong foot.  More plausibly, going into the dissolution of everything into abstract exchange, mathematical science and digital information with fixed concentrations of capital stored up from slavery and enclosure might be the equivalent of going into the Abyss with unresolved psychological complexes, which is exactly what you’re not supposed to do - but by all accounts, once you do, there’s no turning back. The very principle of dissolution of the ego that the Abyss represents would suggest that this is possible, that there is no difference between an individual ego and a functional social aggregate in relation to the scaleless underlying principles of reality, the sephirot.  This may not imply much different from being in the Abyss personally to an individual; it probably makes the practices of attainment prerequisite for entering the Abyss, like knowledge & conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel (or whatever you personally believe in as analogous to that), indispensable to hoping to make sense of the world you’re participating in, let alone changing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hdiNCte3a4  so yeah this is basically where I’ve been the past year or so

[notbecauseofvictories]

Hi Sarah! My friend and I are starting a bookclub (as much as you can with two people who aren't pressed for deadlines) and I was wondering if you have any recommendations? (That is if you have time to rec anything!) We're starting off with Deathless and have Fitzgerald next in line somewhere but I def want to try to expand the genres we read and tbh from years of following you, I trust your judgement

I don’t...like giving recommendations? At least not directly, it seems like too much opportunity for getting it wrong. Everybody has their own tastes, after all, and even the best of friends don’t necessarily vibe with what you vibe with. (I’ve experienced this with multiple friends, so I know what I’m talking about.) Truly, one of the reasons that my whole “I’m going to get back into reading for pleasure!” push has been so successful is that I only bother with books that interest me, and stop reading when they fail to catch my attention.

But I’ve now read at least 60 books in 2020, which is approximately 60 more than I’ve read in the years prior, so I’m happy to share that. Below is my list of recent reads, beginning to end, along with a very short review---I keep this list in the notes app on my phone, so they have to be. Where I’ve talked about a book in a post, I’ve tried to link to it. 

Peruse, and if something catches your interest I hope you enjoy!

2020 Reading List

Crazy Rich Asians series, Kevin Kwan (here)

Blackwater, Michael McDowell (here; pulpy horror and southern gothic in one novel; come for the monster but stay for the family drama.)

Fire and Hemlock, Diane Wynne Jones (here; weird and thoughtful, in ways I’m still thinking about)

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn (here; loved it! I can see why people glommed onto it)

Swamplandia!, Karen Russell (unfinished, I could not get past the first paragraph; just....no.)

Rules of Scoundrels series, Sarah MacLean (an enjoyable romp through classic romancelandia, though if you read through 4 back to back you realize that MacLean really only writes 1 type of relationship and 1 type of sexual encounter, though I do appreciate insisting that the hero go down first.)

The Bear and the Nightingale, Katherine Arden (here)

Dread Nation, Justine Ireland (great, put it with Stealing Thunder in terms of fun YA fantasy that makes everything less white and Eurocentric)

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson (VERY good. haunting good.)

Tell My Horse, Zora Neale Hurston (I read an interesting critique of Hurston that said she stripped a lot of the radicalism out of black stories - these might be an example, or counterexample. I haven't decided yet.)

The Rose MacGregor Drinking and Admiration Society, T. Kingfisher (fun!)

St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, Karen Russell (some of these short stories are wonderful; however, Swamplandia's inspiration is still unreadable, which is wild.)

17776, Jon Bois (made me cry. deeply human. A triumph of internet storytelling)

The Girl with All the Gifts, M. R. Carey (deeply enjoyable. the ending is a bittersweet kick in the teeth, and I really enjoyed the adults' relationships)

The Door in the Hedge and Other Stories, Robin McKinley (enjoyable, but never really resolved into anything.)

The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley (fun, but feels very early fantasy - or maybe I've just read too many of the subsequent knock-offs.)

Mrs. Caliban, Rachel Ingalls (weird little pulp novel.)

All Systems Red, Martha Wells (enjoyable, but I don't get the hype. won't be looking into the series unless opportunity arises.)

A People's History of Chicago, Kevin Coval (made me cry. bought a copy. am still thinking about it.)

The Sol Majestic, Ferrett Steinmetz (charming, a sf novel mostly about fine dining)

House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune (immensely enjoyable read, for all it feels like fic with the serial numbers filed off)

The Au Pair, Emma Rous (not bad, but felt like it wanted to be more than it is)

The Night Tiger, Yangsze Choo (preferred this to Ghost Bride; I enjoy a well-crafted mystery novel and this delivered)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula Le Guin (unfinished, I cannot fucking get into Le Guin and should really stop trying)

The Ghost Bride, Yangsze Choo (enjoyable, but not nearly as fun as Ghost Bride - the romance felt very disjointed, and could have used another round of editing)

Temptation's Darling, Johanna Lindsey (pure, unadulterated id in a romance novel, complete with a girl dressing as a boy to avoid detection)

Social Creature, Tara Isabella Burton (a strange, dark psychological portrait; really made a mark even though I can't quite put my finger on why)

The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins (slow at first, but picks up halfway through and builds nicely; a whiff of Gone Girl with the staggered perspectives building together)

Stealing Thunder, Alina Boyden (fun Tortall vibes, but set in Mughal India)

The Traitor Baru Cormorant; The Monster Baru Commorant, The Tyrant Baru Cormorant, Seth Dickinson (LOVE this, so much misery, terrible, ecstatic; more here)

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone (epistolary love poetry, vicious and lovely; more here)

The Elementals, Michael McDowell

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (didn't like this one as much as I thought I would; narrator's contemporary voice was so jarring against the stylized world and action sequences read like the novelization for a video game; more here)

Finna, Nino Cipri (a fun little romp through interdimensional Ikea, if on the lighter side)

Magic for Liars, Sarah Gailey (engrossing, even if I could see every plot twist coming from a mile away)

Desdemona and the Deep, C. S. E. Cooney (enjoyed the weirdness & the fae bits, but very light fare)

A Blink of the Screen, Terry Pratchett (admittedly just read this for the Discworld bits)

A Memory Called Empire, Arkady Martine (not as good about politics and colonialism as Baru, but still a powerful book about The Empire, and EXTREMELY cool worldbuilding that manages to be wholly alien and yet never heavily expositional)

Blackfish City, Sam J. Miller (see my post)

Last Werewolf, Glen Duncan (didn't finish, got to to first explicit sex scene and couldn't get any further)

Prosper's Demon, KJ Parker (didn't work for me...felt like a short story that wanted to be fleshed out into a novel)

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

His Majesty's Dragon, Naomi Novik (extremely fun, even for a reader who doesn't much like Napoleonic stories)

Three Parts Dead, Max Gladstone (fun romp - hard to believe that this is the same author as Time War though you can see glimmers of it in the imagery here)

A Scot in the Dark, Sarah MacLean (palette cleanser, she does write a good romance novel even it's basically the same romance novel over and over)

The Resurrectionist, E. B. Hudspeth (borrowed it on a whim one night, kept feeling like there was something I was supposed to /get/ about it, but never did - though I liked the Mutter Museum parallels)

Stories of Your Life and Others, Ted Chiang (he's a better ideas guy than a writer, though Hell Is The Absence of God made my skin prickle all over)

Gods of Jade and Shadow, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fun, very much a throwback to my YA days of fairytale retellings, though obviously less European)

Four Roads Cross, Max Gladstone (it turns out I was a LOT more fond of Tara than I initially realized - plus this book had a good Pratchett-esque pacing and reliance on characterization)

Get in Trouble, Kelly Link (reading this after the Chiang was instructive - Link is such a better storyteller, better at prioritizing the human over the concept)

Gods Behaving Badly, Marie Phillips

Soulless; Changeless; Blameless, all by Gail Carriger (this series is basically a romance novel with some fantasy plot thrown in for fun; extremely charming and funny)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf, Marlon James (got about 1/3 of the way through and had to wave the white flag; will try again because I like the plot and the worldbuilding; the tone is just so hard to get through)

Pew, Catherine Lacey (a strange book, I'm still thinking about it; a good Southern book, though)

Nuremberg Diary, GM Gilbert (it took me two months to finish, and was worth it)

River of Teeth, Sarah Gailey (I wanted to like this one a lot more than I actually did; would have made a terrific movie but ultimately was not a great novel. Preferred Magic for Liars.)

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (extremely fun, though more trippy than Gods and the plot didn't work as well for me - though it was very original)

The New Voices of Fantasy, Peter S. Beagle (collected anthology, with some favorites I've read before Ursula Vernon's "Jackalope Wives", "Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers" "The Husband Stitch"; others that were great new finds "Selkie Stories are for Losers" from Sofia Satamar and "A Kiss With Teeth" from Max Gladstone and "The Philosophers" from Adam Ehrlich Sachs)

[fcbayern]

Hallo! Hope you are well! I love your blog and it’s made me really want to understand and get into Bundesliga. How can I know everything I need to know about Bayern so I’m up to date and understand what’s happening within the team? I hope this makes sense? Danke!

hi anon! i’m so sorry it took me so long to reply to this. this week’s been so busy already.

i guess the internet is a good place to start for your research :) of course wikipedia itself is not a bad source, but if you really want to get information, look at the bottom of the wikipedia page for all the teams in the bundesliga, and get the info from the sources there. that’s what wikipedia uses to write their articles, so that should give you even more insight into the bundesliga and its teams, and rules, etc than you already get from the wikipedia article itself.

i’ll try and sum up the most basic info for you - that i know - and if you have any other questions, feel free to send me another message and maybe we can get into more detail:

bundesliga is the highest “class” / tier that you can play in, in germany. it is divided into 2 different tiers: 1. bundesliga and 2. bundesliga.

1. bundesliga consists of 18 teams.

for the upcoming seasons - currently in alphabetical order because the new season doesn’t start until the 18th of September - these are the teams:

DSC Arminia Bielefeld

FC Augsburg

Bayer Leverkusen

FC Bayern München

Borussia Dortmund

Borussia Mönchengladbach

Eintracht Frankfurt

1. SC Freiburg

Hertha BSC Berlin

TSG Hoffenheim

1. FC Köln

1. FSV Main 05

Red Bull Leipzig

FC Schalke 04

VfB Stuttgart

Union Berlin

Werder Bremen

VfL Wolfsburg

Arminia Bielefeld were promoted from 2nd league, where they ended up in first place in the season of 2019/2020. The second team that was promoted is VfB Stuttgart. In exchange for these two teams being promoted, two teams have to be relegated. In the season of 2019/2020 those two teams were SC Paderborn 07 and Fortuna Düsseldorf.

Back to the Bundesliga Basics:

The Bundesliga stands under the umbrella of “DFB”, or Deutscher Fußball Bund (German Football Association), which was founded in 1900. In 1904 the FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) was founded, which is basically the big boss of football. They keep an eye on a number of football associations across the world and also set up the Men’s and Women’s World Cup. DFB joined the FIFA right away in 1904, and in 1954 DFB also joined the UEFA, which is an acronym for Union des Associations Européennes de Football and therefor takes care of all things football in Europe. Self-explanatory.

UEFA wasn’t founded until 1954 because... things happened in Europe in the 30s and 40s.

During the time of the Nazi regime the DFB was dismantled in 1940 and it didn’t pick up again until 1950, when the Federal German Republic was reformed, and the West German football associations decided to get the DFB back up and running. They re-joined FIFA in 1954, and, as mentioned before, also joined UEFA that same year.

The Bundesliga how we know it, however, was not actually a thing until 28. Juli 1962, starting with the season of 1963/1964. Before that there were a number of clubs and associations throughout Germany who all kind of played side by side, and eventually in the 30s the idea of a “Reichsliga” (league of the German Reich) was brought up, where a certain number of teams would play and one would end up winning the title. Kind of what we do now.

And then the war happened.

And in between the end of that and the 60s, obviously they had brought some ideas back to the table, had tried to figure out a more competitive way and to bring football closer to the people.

In 1962 the idea of the Bundesliga was founded. 16 teams were to play each other in one league, competing against each other. 5 from “Oberliga Süd”, 5 from “Oberliga West”, 3 from “Oberliga Nord”, 2 from “Oberliga Südwest” and one from the Berlin City League - the Western part of Berlin, of course.

They had a super complicated system in place to figure out which teams would eventually be allowed to be the “founding fathers” of the Bundesliga. It had to do with economics, they ended up coming up with a weird system for who gets how many points for winning their own league, adding those up, multiplying, and then somehow they ended up with 16 teams... don’t ask me how, I have dyscalculia, I don’t understand their way of thinking at all. Maybe there was some voodoo involved, God knows, honestly.

Eventually they had their 16 winners from the aforementioned leagues:

Oberliga Süd: Eintracht Frankfurt, Karlsruher SC, 1. FC Nürnberg, TSV 1860 München, VfB Stuttgart Oberliga Nord: Eintracht Braunschweig, Werder Bremen, Hamburger SV Oberliga West: Borussia Dortmund, 1. FC Köln, Meidericher SV, Preußen Münster, FC Schalke 04 Oberliga Südwest: 1. FC Kaiserslautern, 1. FC Saarbrücken Stadtliga Berlin: Hertha BSC Berlin

In 1963 this “Bundesliga” wasn’t a pro-league, though. And there were a ton of rules in place that would probably make you go “huh?” these days... or maybe you’d think they are great rules and they need to make a comeback. A transfer, for example, could only cost up to 50.000 German Mark (roughly 25.564,50€ / $30.149,62).

Until 1967 you also weren’t allowed to sign more than three players from another team for the upcoming season.

At some point it was decided that football players would also have the benefits of a full-time worker, if they decided on football as a career, and not just something they did on the side.

When East and West Germany were reunited in 1989 / the early 90s, that’s when the Bundesliga really became more of a commercial success not just in Germany, but also throughout non-German Europe and the rest of the world. Which is also largely due to Germany winning the World Cup in 1990, and the European title in 1996, but the Bundesliga was also specifically marketed to popular media. In 1991 the German Football Association of the German Democratic Republic (Deutsche Fußball-Verband der DDR) - the East German football association - joined DFB. Thus Germany was one again, not just on paper, but also in football.

Another thing that helped the popularity of the Bundesliga was the fact that in the 90s at least one Bundesliga club reached a European championship semi-final. In 1997 Borussia Dortmund won the Champions League, in 1996 Bayern München won the Europapokal, in 1997 Schalke 04 won the UEFA-Pokal. And in the following championships at least one German team reached the final of said competitions.

Let’s jump to the 2000s!

Since 2000 FC Bayern München has won the Bundesliga 13 times. The other winners were: Borussia Dortmund (2002, 2011, 2012), Werder Bremen (2004), VfB Stuttgart (2007) and VfL Wolfsburg (2009). Bayern München is also the only Bundesliga team in the 2000s to win the Champions League: 2013 and 2020.

After all that knowledge, here’s some random facts and numbers that you might find interesting:

- since it was founded in 1963, a total of 56 teams have played in Germany’s highest league - until the season of 2017/2018 Hamburger SV was part of the 1. Bundesliga for 55 seasons, which was a record. Now Werder Bremen holds this record, with 56 seasons to their name - Bayer Leverkusen holds the nickname of “Vizekusen” (Vice-Kusen), and they were at one point regarded as the “ever-second”, always getting close to the top, but never reaching it - Karl-Heinz Körbel has the most Bundesliga appearances: 602 - for Eintracht Frankfurt. He never lost a final with Frankfurt and was never relegated. - Bernd Stöber was the youngest coach in the season of 1976/1977 a t just 24 years, 1 month and 17 days old. - Brazil is the best-represented nation after Germany, with 159 Bundesliga exports (159), followed by Denmark (129), Austria (119), Croatia (118) and Poland (109). - in the season of 2019/2020 Thomas Müller had the most assists: 21. - retired football player Gerd Müller, whose active career was between 1965-1979, holds the record for the most goals: 365. - Otto Rehhagel holds the record for most matches as a manager: 832.

Now let’s go back to where we started: the season of 2020/2021.

As mentioned above, the 1. Bundesliga has 18 teams. To get you up-to-date I’ll give you some more info on each team, that you might find useful!

DSC Arminia Bielefeld: - founded: May 3rd 1905 - manager: Uwe Neuhaus - stadium: SchücoArena

FC Augsburg: - founded: August 8th 1907 - manager: Heiko Herrlich - stadium: WWK Arena

Bayer 04 Leverkusen: - founded: July 1st 1904 -> rebranded to current name on April 1st 1999 - manager: Peter Bosz - stadium: BayArena

FC Bayern München: - founded: February 27th 1900 - manager: Hansi Flick - stadium: Allianz Arena

Borussia Dortmund: - founded: December 19th 1909 - manager: Lucien Favre - stadium: Signal Iduna Park

Borussia Mönchengladbach: - founded: August 1st 1900 - manager: Marco Rose - stadium: BORUSSIA-PARK

Eintracht Frankfurt: - founded: March 8th 1899 - manager: Adi Hütter - stadium: Deutsche Bank Park

SC Freiburg: - founded: May 30th 1904 - manager: Christian Streich - stadium: Schwarzwald-Stadion

Hertha BSC Berlin: - founded: July 25th 1892 - manager: Bruno Labbadia - stadium: Olympiastadion Berlin

TSG 1899 Hoffenheim: - founded: July 1st 1899 - manager: Sebastian Hoeneß - stadium: Prezero-Arena

1. FC Köln: - founded: February 13th 1948 - manager: Markus Gisdol - RheinEnergieSTADION

1. FSV Mainz 05: - founded: March 16th 1905 - manager: Achim Beierlorzer - stadium: OPEL ARENA

Red Bull Leipzig: - founded: May 19th 2009 - manager: Julian Nagelsmann - Red Bull Arena

FC Schalke 04: - founded: May 4th 1904 - manager: David Wagner - stadium: VELTINS-Arena

VfB Stuttgart: - founded: September 9th 1893 - manager: Pellegrino Matarazzo - Mercedes-Benz Arena

1. FC Union Berlin: - founded: January 20th 1966 (originally 1906) - manager: Urs Fischer - stadium: Stadion An der Alten Försterei

SV Werder Bremen: - founded: February 4th 1899 - manager: Florian Kohfeldt - stadium: Weserstadion

VfL Wolfsburg: - fonded: September 12th 1945 -> rebranded to current name on January 16th 2001 - manager: Oliver Glasner - stadium: Volkswagen Arena

Maybe, to get a feeling for each club, you can check out each club’s YouTube account. Through that you should be able to find their other social media, or just by simply googling the team name:

Arminia Bielefeld ● FC Augsburg ● Bayer 04 Leverkusen ● FC Bayern München  ● Borussia Dortmund ● Borussia Mönchengladbach ● Eintracht Frankfurt ● 1. SC Freiburg ● Hertha BSC Berlin ● TSG Hoffenheim ● 1. FC Köln ● 1. FSV Main 05 ● Red Bull Leipzig ● FC Schalke 04 ● VfB Stuttgart ● Union Berlin ● Werder Bremen ● VfL Wolfsburg

Each football team has 11 players on the pitch. For the new season in 2019 it was decided that instead of 18 players, each team would be allowed to have 20 players in total - which means 9 substitute players on the bench.

During each season a team can win three main cups (the ones that everyone cares about the most, let’s be real): DFB-Pokal, Meistertitel (Bundesliga winner) and Champions League trophy. The last of which is not a German tournament / cup to be won, so I’ll leave that out for now.

DFB Pokal:

The DFB-Pokal is a German knockout competition, starting out with 64 teams. 36 teams are from the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga, the top four finishers of the third league are automatically added to the list. 21 slots are given to the cup winners of regional football associations, and the remaining 3 slots are given to the regional associations with the most men’s teams.

Direct quote from Wikipedia, which in turn got their information from here: for the first round, the 64 teams are split into two pots of 32. One pot contains the 18 teams from the previous season of the Bundesliga and the top 14 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga. The other pot contains the bottom 4 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga, the top 4 teams from the previous season of the 3. Liga and the 24 amateur teams that qualified through regional football tournaments. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot. Since 1982, teams from the pot containing amateur teams have played the game at home.For the second round, the teams are again divided into two pots according to the same principles. Depending on the results of the first round, the pots might not be equal in terms of number. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot until one pot is empty. The remaining teams are then drawn against each other with the team first drawn playing the game at home.For the remaining rounds, other than the final, the teams are drawn from one pot. Since 1985 the final has been held in the Olympic Stadium in Berlin.

Meistertitel:

The Meistertitel is rewarded to the team that comes out on top on the last match-day of the season. Of course it can be calculated whether other teams can still catch up - points-wise - but the Meisterschale is not rewarded until the season is over. The current record-holder of most Bundesliga wins is FC Bayern München (29), followed by Borussia Dortmund and Borussia Mönchengladbach (5) and Werder Bremen (4) in second and third place.

With the first three Bundesliga wins a team gets a gold star to put on their jersey, with five wins they get a second, ten wins is a third, twenty wins is a forth star. On top of that, the reigning Bundesliga champion gets to wear the Bundesliga logo in gold color on their sleeve.

And that’s that on that.

I don’t know what language you’re fluent in, but here are some football apps that you might enjoy using, to be on track with the upcoming season:

OneFootball

Kicker App

Bundesliga App

11 Freunde App

Amazon Bundesliga Radio

each team’s individual app for updates and news

You can also check out @bundesliga_en on Instagram and Twitter.

One last info for you, so you can jump right into it on the first day of the new Bundesliga season (fixtures are never really 100% until a day or two before the match is supposed to be, so this is preliminary): here is the link for the schedule of the upcoming 1. Bundesliga season.

You can also check out the 2. Bundesliga schedule, because it’s super interesting down there in the second league as well! I highly recommend it (keep your fingers crossed for Paderborn for me!).

I think that’s about everything I can tell you. This reply is already faaaaaaaaar too long, and I apologize! If you have any questions or want me to elaborate, feel free to send me another message.

Have the best time getting used to the Bundesliga, and welcome to the family!

Sources - with more info - under the cut:

fun facts: https://www.bundesliga.com/en/bundesliga/news/easter-eggs-surprising-facts-and-figures-you-may-not-know-3798

team information / schedule: https://www.dfb.de/bundesliga/spieltagtabelle/

team information / schedule (2nd source): https://www.kicker.de/dfb-pokal/spieltag

general information: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fu%C3%9Fball-Bundesliga

app suggestions: https://www.smartmobil.de/magazin/fussball-apps

explanation for how the DFB-Pokal: https://web.archive.org/web/20090609211623/https://www.dfb.de/index.php?id=460546

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

18th May >> Mass Readings (USA)

Saturday, Seventh Week of Eastertide 

or

Pope Saint John I, Martyr.

 

Saturday, Seventh Week of Eastertide 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 28:16-20, 30-31 Paul remained at Rome, proclaiming the Kingdom of God.

When he entered Rome, Paul was allowed to live by himself, with the soldier who was guarding him. Three days later he called together the leaders of the Jews. When they had gathered he said to them, “My brothers, although I had done nothing against our people or our ancestral customs, I was handed over to the Romans as a prisoner from Jerusalem. After trying my case the Romans wanted to release me, because they found nothing against me deserving the death penalty. But when the Jews objected, I was obliged to appeal to Caesar, even though I had no accusation to make against my own nation. This is the reason, then, I have requested to see you and to speak with you, for it is on account of the hope of Israel that I wear these chains.” He remained for two full years in his lodgings. He received all who came to him, and with complete assurance and without hindrance he proclaimed the Kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 11:4, 5 and 7

R/ The just will gaze on your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

The LORD is in his holy temple; the LORD’s throne is in heaven. His eyes behold, his searching glance is on mankind.

R/ The just will gaze on your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

The LORD searches the just and the wicked; the lover of violence he hates. For the LORD is just, he loves just deeds; the upright shall see his face.

R/ The just will gaze on your face, O Lord. or R/ Alleluia.

Gospel Acclamation John 16:7, 13

Alleluia, alleluia. I will send to you the Spirit of truth, says the Lord; he will guide you to all truth. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel John 21:20-25 This is the disciple who has written these things and his testimony is true.

Peter turned and saw the disciple following whom Jesus loved, the one who had also reclined upon his chest during the supper and had said, “Master, who is the one who will betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus said to him, “What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me.” So the word spread among the brothers that that disciple would not die. But Jesus had not told him that he would not die, just “What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours?” It is this disciple who testifies to these things and has written them, and we know that his testimony is true. There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------

Pope Saint John I, Martyr 

(Liturgical Colour: Red. Year: B(II))

Readings at Mass

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading Revelation 3:14b, 20-22 I will dine with him and he with me.

The Amen, the faithful and true witness, the source of God’s creation, says this: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will enter his house and dine with him and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne. “Whoever has ears ought to hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 23:1-3a, 4, 5, 6

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. In verdant pastures he gives me repose; Beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side With your rod and your staff that give me courage.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

You spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for years to come.

R/ The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.

Gospel Acclamation John 15:15

Alleluia, alleluia. I call you my friends, says the Lord, For I have made known to you all that the Father has told me. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Luke 22:24-30 I confer a kingdom on you, just as my Father has conferred one on me.

An argument broke out among the Apostles about which of them should be regarded as the greatest. Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those in authority over them are addressed as ‘Benefactors’; but among you it shall not be so. Rather, let the greatest among you be as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. For who is greater: the one seated at table or the one who serves? Is it not the one seated at table? I am among you as the one who serves. It is you who have stood by me in my trials; and I confer a kingdom on you, just as my Father has conferred one on me, that you may eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom; and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[fearsmagazine]

THE RINGMASTER - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Danse Macabre & MVD

SYNOPSIS: Agnes and Belinda are working the night shift in a remote gas station owned by Agnes’ father. It is a slow night as everyone is at home watching a major sports final match their national team is playing in. As the night progresses they’ve become the prey in a deadly game of cat and mouse that ends when they unwittingly become the stars of a terrifying show streamed live on the dark web. Held captive by a sadistic ringmaster their survival instincts are stretched to the limit as an unseen audience decides their fate.

REVIEW: From “The Running Man” to “The Hunger Games” there continues to be a fascination with these grisly games of survival. Some consider these films “torture porn,” regardless of how the plots attempt to make a statement on humanity’s fascination with its own demise. Don Henley said it best in his song “Dirty Laundry,” “It’s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry.”

This Danish film was first released in Europe in 2018 as “Finale,” which is also the same title of the novel by Steen Langstrup that it is based on. The film opens with a prologue that feels like a homage to the opening of the original prologue in James Whale's 1931 “Frankenstein.” The narrative cuts between Agnes and Belinda at the gas station and Agnes as she wakes up in the clutches of the ringmaster. The film narrative continues unfolding that way until they are knocked out and abducted. From then on the story focuses on the events surrounding their survival and escape from the ringmaster. By doing this the filmmakers allow the viewer to establish the relationship dynamics of these characters as they bait us with the horrors to come. They establish character traits that elevate the dynamics of the story and invest the viewer in the plot. Though this is in Danish, I found the English subtitles to be solid dialogue. There is interesting banter and even the henchmen’s are interesting lines. Overall, it left me interested in reading the novel it is based on.

The filmmakers do an excellent job covering the locations. They go from a small, but complex, gas station to a larger location with long corridors and numerous rooms. There are these small little touches to the set dressing that makes it feel like a film with a bigger scope. For instance, there is a painting one one of the walls where they are taken that they dwell on, which allows to add visual commentary to the film. The costumes are interesting and add some contrast to the locations. The cinematographer and director do a nice job of playing with the light and shadows to create tension and suspense, and also with the colors to play with the atmosphere.

There are seven players in the film, with a few other non speaking parts. Actresses Anne Bergfeld and Karin Michelsen play the film’s central characters Agnes and Belinda. They do an excellent job at creating these two complex women who reflect different social stations that might not otherwise be friends if not for having worked together. Even though there is this back and forth cutting to the narrative, their performances provide this organic flow to the narrative that takes the viewer along for the ride. Damon Younger is a charismatic actor who delivers a riveting performance that is part Pennywise the clown and part Hannibal Lector. He does not have that many scenes, but they all resonate.

Given American audiences I can understand why they changed the title from “Finale” to THE RINGMASTER. Filmmaker Søren Juul Petersen serves up a pulse pounding thriller with a crisp and gritty feel, and comes together with three amazing performances. There is some gore, but it is clearly not the point of the film. The film mounts in terror and suspense long before it shocks you. The film does so much with so little to deliver a film I found more effective than the recent “Saw” reboot, “Spiral.”

CAST: Anne Bergfeld, Karin Michelsen and Damon Younger. CREW: Director/Screenplay/Producer - Søren Juul Petersen; Screenplay - Carsten Juul Bladt; Based on the novel Finale by Steen Langstrup; Producers - Jacob Kondrup; Cinematographer - Tobias Scavenius; Score - Peter K. Nørgaard; Editing - Jacob Kondrup; Production Designer - Martin Hansen; Special Makeup Effects Artist - Martin Hansen; Visual Effects - Christoffer Kondrup. OFFICIAL: N.A. FACEBOOK:  www.facebook.com/FinaleFilmOfficial TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/qhvl0goLif0 RELEASE DATE: On DVD, Blu-ray and Digital July 6th, 2021

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay),  or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[letterboxd]

Pride: 25 Queer Films To Love.

Dating Amber writer and director David Freyne introduces our London correspondent Ella Kemp to 25 of his favorite LGBTQIA films.

A coming-out, coming-of-age film, David Freyne’s Dating Amber follows “baby gays” Eddie (Fionn O’Shea) and Amber (Lola Petticrew), who act as each other’s beards in order to stop speculation about their sexualities. Released on Amazon Prime Video in the UK for Pride month, it’s winning praise from Letterboxd members as a “charming” and “gentle” comedy-drama “full of loveliness that extends beyond the Irish accents”.

Lola Petticrew and Fionn O’Shea as Amber and Eddie in ‘Dating Amber’.

As the number of films by and about the gay and trans community expands, we asked Freyne if he could narrow down a list of ten favorites for us. The answer was no—instead, we got 25!

“There are so many extraordinary queer films beyond this list, but all of these films just really affected me when I saw them. Some were the first time I saw queerness on screen, while I deeply identified with others. And, as a filmmaker, each of them makes me braver to fight to tell stories that aren't always easy to get made.

“They are in no particular order because I don’t want to bump into Barry Jenkins (which is obviously going to happen) and have to explain that he is number five on that list (that he will definitely read) for no specific reason. It’s just a technicality.”

David Freyne’s 25 Favorite LGBTQIA+ Films

My Summer of Love (2004) Directed by Paweł Pawlikowski

Paweł Pawlikowski’s film feels like a dream that sweeps you up along with it, helped along by incredible early performances from Natalie Press and Emily Blunt. The hypnotic use of Goldfrapp's ‘Lovely Head’ is probably my favorite use of a song in any film ever. Their drug-fuelled dancing was a massive inspiration for Eddie and Amber’s baby steps into Dublin’s gay scene in Dating Amber.

Weekend (2011) Directed by Andrew Haigh

I never fail to cry buckets at the end of this heartbreaking gem. It’s small in the best sense of the word. Two people fall in love over one intimate weekend. Their gayness is both incidental and totally fundamental. It’s so delicate and moving. Andrew Haigh is a master.

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) Directed by Jamie Babbit

Jamie Babbit’s debut is a brilliant, campy comedy about a cheerleader sent to a conversion therapy camp. I love it for all the reasons many critics (at the time) disliked it. It is subversive, quirky and defiantly upbeat. And it stars Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall. Enough said.

Paris is Burning (1990) Directed by Jennie Livingston

I’m not saying anything new when I say that Paris is Burning is necessary viewing. It’s a hilarious, moving and eye-opening look at the (mostly) Black trans women in New York’s ball scene. It is a glimpse into the lives of these extraordinary people who risked everything to live authentically, for themselves and each other. And at a time when our trans family is so under attack, it is vital to see such iconic figures from our community. You’ve probably seen it. Re-watch it. Also those end notes will make you cry.

Happy Together (1997) Directed by Wong Kar-wai

As with all Wong Kar-wai’s work, it is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. It’s a tough watch, a portrait of a toxic, failing relationship. But it looks beautiful. They’re miserable and co-dependent. It’s abusive and awful. But it’s great. It really is a great film. I’m not selling this one well. Just watch it.

Moonlight (2016) Directed by Barry Jenkins

Definitely worth watching after Happy Together. Not just because it will make you feel better, but because Barry Jenkins has noted it as a big influence. Also, Moonlight is a masterpiece. You know that, of course. Side note: I realize I’ll never be able to create a hand-job scene as powerful and tender as Jenkins did here, but, in Dating Amber, I made three comedy hand-jobs. Take that Jenkins!

God’s Own Country (2017) Directed by Francis Lee

You can feel Francis Lee in every frame of this film. It’s personal filmmaking at its very best, with wonderful performances from Josh O’Connor and Alec Secăreanu. And it has the most beautifully romantic ending that you only realize we lack for LGBTQ characters when you see it laid out so wonderfully. When we were trying to finance Dating Amber and people suggested it was too Irish, I’d just reference God’s Own Country, which is so defiantly Yorkshire, and they’d shut up. Also, Secăreanu’s jumper with a thumb hole is my style icon. Bring on Ammonite!

Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) Directed by Marielle Heller

Marielle Heller is such a brilliant filmmaker. This film is based on the memoir by Lee Israel who forged letters by famous people to sell. It’s a genre piece that feels like it could have been made in the 70s. But what I love about it the most is that it is a rare example of a film that centers the friendship between a lesbian and a gay man. Why do films usually treat us like we exist in totally separate worlds? Anyway, it’s a joyous watch.

Tangerine (2015) Directed by Sean Baker

I’m obsessed with tightly plotted films and Tangerine doesn’t waste a frame. It’s 88 minutes of pure wit, charm and entertainment in line with the best of old-school Hollywood. You instantly forget that Baker’s film is shot on an iPhone and just get swept up in the extraordinary performances of Mya Taylor and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez. It’s such a mystery they don’t work more. (Reader: it’s not a mystery. It’s because they are Black trans women, and the industry is shit.)

Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) Directed by Céline Sciamma

We all bow at the alter of Céline Sciamma. This film is perfection. The sparse-but-powerful use of music, exquisite photography and extraordinary performances that burn beneath the stillness. The final shots of Adèle Haenel will feed your soul for a year. (Side note: face masks have never looked so stylish.)

Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) Directed by John Schlesinger

This was John Schlesinger’s follow up to his best-known film, Midnight Cowboy. A middle-aged gay doctor (Peter Finch), and a divorced woman (Glenda Jackson), are both in an open love triangle with a younger, bisexual sculptor (Murray Head). It’s quite low-key and far tamer now than when it was released, but it’s a beautiful film and Schlesinger’s most personal. He was one of the few openly gay directors of his time. And Jackson’s performance steals it.

Far From Heaven (2002) Directed by Todd Haynes

Todd Haynes’ stunning film will make you immediately go out and discover all of Douglas Sirk’s glorious technicolor melodramas. Julianne Moore’s performance as a wife who discovers her husband is gay will break you. Dennis Quaid is also terrific as her closeted husband.

The Watermelon Woman (1996) Directed by Cheryl Dunye

Cheryl Dunye’s low-budget debut is a seminal queer film. A video store worker and documentarian (played by Dunye) starts a new relationship while becoming obsessed with ‘the watermelon woman’, a Black actress forgotten by history. It’s lo-fi, funny and a, far too rare, film about race and sexuality.

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) Directed by Stephen Frears

It may have been the first time I saw gay characters on screen and, at the time, it petrified me. But what an amazing film about love, acceptance and the power to change. Fun fact: Daniel Day-Lewis spent a year as a tumble dryer in preparation for his role.

Beautiful Thing (1996) Directed by Hettie MacDonald

Hettie MacDonald’s coming-of-age film is so lovely, honest and tender. James Harvey adapted it from his own play of the same name. The soundtrack is almost entirely The Mamas and the Papas. I am surprised some cigar-smoking West-End mogul hasn’t attempted a musical adaptation. Or maybe they have, I don’t know.

Pride (2014) Directed by Matthew Warchus

Such a purely entertaining film while being urgent, political and deeply moving. Beresford’s script is a masterclass in plotting and if you don’t cry at the end then you are dead inside. Sorry but that’s just science. Also it has the most emotional postscript coda since, well, Paris is Burning.

Love is Strange (2014) Directed by Ira Sachs

Ira Sachs is one of my favorite current filmmakers and criminally underrated. I mean, he’s appreciated, but he needs to be lauded. Love is Strange is such a charming and quietly devastating love story about an older gay couple who lose their apartment and have to couch surf with relatives. It’s one of the most effective films in dealing with the rental crisis in big cities, something he does equally brilliantly in the follow-up, Little Men.

A Fantastic Woman (2017) Directed by Sebastián Lelio

Sebastián Lelio’s film is a beautiful story about one trans woman’s grief after the unexpected death of her older partner. But what makes this film so spectacular is the captivating performance by Daniela Vega. We need to see more of her on screen.

BPM (Beats per Minute) (2017) Directed by Robin Campillo

It’s a film about the AIDS activism of Act Up in 1990s Paris. What makes this so incredible is how joyous it is. Strobe-doused dance scenes punctuate this film that will make you want to take to the streets and fight for your rights.

The Queen of Ireland (2015) Directed by Conor Horgan

This documentary by Conor Horgan follows Ireland’s most famous drag queen, Panti Bliss (aka Rory O’Neill). It’s about his life, a legal battle (a bunch of homophobes sued Rory for calling them homophobes on national TV) and the staging of a show in his hometown. Central to all this is Ireland’s historic vote on marriage equality, something that Panti was a powerful figure in. If you want to laugh and have your heart soar in seeing confirmation of how a once painfully conservative country moved to love and equality, watch this.

The Kids Are All Right (2010) Directed by Lisa Cholodenko

Lisa Cholodenko’s feature is a warm, witty and realistic look at a lesbian couple and their children. Every performance is pitch perfect. I can’t believe it’s a decade old and that we have had so few similar films since.

Booksmart (2019) Directed by Olivia Wilde

We need more joyous films with queer leads and Olivia Wilde’s debut is just that. Set over one night of belated partying, we follow best friends Molly and Amy (Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever), one of whom happens to be a lesbian. It is just so much fun to watch.

All About My Mother (1999) Directed by Pedro Almodóvar

I mean this list could just be an Almodóvar filmography, but All About My Mother just happened to be the first of his I saw and it blew my little gay mind. It’s simply about love in its truest sense. Almodóvar said it best with his dedication, “To all actresses who have played actresses. To all women who act. To men who act and become women. To all the people who want to be mothers. To my mother.”

Female Trouble (1974) Directed by John Waters

You can’t have a queer film list without John Waters, and this 1974 classic is my favorite of his. It follows Dawn Davenport (played by the legendary Divine) from teen delinquent to the electric chair. It’s hilarious, irreverent and distasteful in the ways only Waters can be.

Saint Maud (2019) Directed by Rose Glass

Rose Glass’s debut film isn’t out yet and so technically shouldn’t be on the list. But I saw at a festival last year and loved it, so there. It’s a horror film about a private nurse (rising star Morfydd Clark) who tries to save the soul of her deviant and lesbian patient (the always-brilliant Jennifer Ehle). It’s eerie, stylish and the sort of debut all us filmmakers wish we had. Shut up, you’re jealous!

Related content

MundoF’s Opening the Vault: a chronological history of queer interest and LGBTQ+ cinema.

Leonora’s list of Films by Transgender Writers and Directors.

Out of the Closets and Into the Cinemas!: meeting queer folks in dark rooms.

New Queer Cinema

Queer Films Everyone Must See

Queer, Black, 21st Century: A Pride 2020 List

Autostraddle’s Top 200 Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies of All Time

Brianna’s list of LGBT+ Animation

[grapevynerendezvous]

Jefferson Airplane -Surrealistic Pillow

The release of Surrealistic Pillow, Jefferson Airplane’s second album, coincided with so many new things going on in the world of music, and the world in general. It brought national attention to the psychedelic music scene flourishing in a drug-infused counterculture of Summer of Love San Francisco that had its’ roots in the ‘50s beat scene. The record came out two months before the release of the band’s first hit single, Somebody to Love (b/w She Has Funny Cars, and nearly two months before the next one, White Rabbit (b/w Plastic Fantastic Lover. The actual first single RCA chose to issue from the album was My Best Friend written by Skip Spence (b/w How Do You Feel). It failed to  break into the Billboard Hot 100, cresting at No.103. Both Spence and former lead female singer Signe Anderson had departed in 1966 and veteran drummer Spencer Dryden had come aboard along with Grace Slick, formerly of another San Francisco band The Great Society, several months later. Slick brought along the two songs that became huge hits for The Airplane. Somebody To Love, written by her brother-in-law at the time, Darby Slick, had been performed and recorded by The Great Society as Someone To Love. Slick was the composer of White Rabbit early on in the Great Society’s existence. In August 1966, a few months prior to Grace Slick joining Jefferson Airplane, the band fired manager Matthew Katz. A protracted precedent-setting artist-management legal battle ensued over the terms of their contracts, which lasted two decades. Marty Balin’s roommate and friend, Bill Thompson, was their road manager and filled in as band manager for awhile. As Surrealistic Pillow was about to be released, Jefferson Airplane became managed by Bill Graham which lead to their first time on the East Coast. Along with the Grateful Dead and Quicksilver Messenger Service they co-headlined the Human Be-In at Golden Gate Park on January 14, 1967.

The recording of the album took place November 1966 at RCA studios in Los Angeles, not long after Grace had joined the band. The span of dates actually goes from Oct. 31 to Nov. 22, but the band spent less than two weeks in the studio total. There are various takes on how the process went with RCA staff producer Rick Jarrard, but suffice it to say that the band members were not overly happy working with him despite the results or perhaps, in their minds, because of the results. It is noted on the liner notes on the album that Jerry Garcia was the Musical and Spiritual Adviser. There is disparity as to what influence he may have had over the recording. Producer Rick Jarrard denied that Jerry had any presence on any of the tracks. This has been countered by band members, and Jerry himself said in a 1967 interview that he played guitar on three tracks, the high lead on Today, and also Comin’ Back to You and Plastic Fantastic Lover, plus he rearranged Somebody to Love. In his book, Been So Long: My Life and Music, Jorma Kaukonen wrote, "I used to think about him as co-producer, but now that I really know what a producer is, the producer of that record was Rick Jarrard. Jerry was a combination arranger, musician, and sage counsel.” Reportedly Garcia was also the inspiration of the album name with his comment, “as surrealistic as a pillow is soft”, according to two sources, Light into Ashes-Grateful Dead Guide: Jerry Garcia & Surrealistic Pillow, and JGMF-Jerry Garcia’s Middle Finger: Jerry on Jefferson Airplane, Surrealistic Pillow.

Released February 1, 1967, the album went as high as No.3 on the Billboard Top 200 while being on the chart for over a year. It was awarded a Gold Record for over a million sold (eventually certified Platinum) and is ranked 146 on the Rolling Stone list of 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. Somebody to Love hit No..5 and White Rabbit No.8 on the Billboard Hot 100. Both songs are in Rolling Stones list of 500 Greatest Songs of All Time, Somebody to Love at 274 and White Rabbit at 478. The B-side of White Rabbit, Plastic Fantastic Lover, received extensive airplay in the San Francisco Bay Area and perhaps other markets as well. Jorma Kaukonen’s guitar instrumental, Embryonic Journey, also got some airplay in the Bay Area and was performed on at least one network television show. The Airplane also benefited from being on TV shows such as The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, The Ed Sullivan Show, and The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Jefferson Airplane became a national and international phenomenon, thanks in part to the influence of music critic Ralph J. Gleason, The Airplane was invited to play at the first major rock festival, Monterey Pop in June 1967, just prior to the White Rabbit release. Surrealistic Pillow was, as Allmusic reviewer Bruce Eder put it, “…a groundbreaking piece of folk-rock-based psychedelia, and it hit like a shot heard round the world”. It was considered original for its; time, and the band’s fusion of folk rock and psychedelia lined up with pioneering musical directions of The Byrds, The Beatles, The Yardbirds, Bob Dylan, and The Mamas and the Papas.

The songwriting for the album was spread out amonst five of the band members, the result of which was, as Bruce Eder puts it, “resplendent in a happy balance of all of these creative elements”. She Has Funny Cars, written by Marty Balin and Jorma Kaukonen, starts with a rhythm and blues based Bo Diddley Beat, and goes on to highlight the new harmony magic of Marty and Grace Slick. The song expresses the materialism in American Society, but the title has been attributed to Spencer Dryden’s girlfriend’s “funny car(s)”. The next two songs on the album were written by other local musicians that the band had been associated with. Somebody To Love was written by Darby Slick, Grace’s brother-in-was at the time, and it was released as a single by their band The Great Society, under the name Someone To Love. With Grace’s decision to join Jefferson Airplane at Jack Casady’s suggestion, The Great Society band came to an end. While Grace’s presentation of Somebody (Someone) To Love with them was more subdued, in the  Jefferson Airplane version “she sounds far more accusatory and menacing”, per SongFacts. My Best Friend was a nod to the Airplane’s folk rock beginnings, and in some ways had the type of harmonies reminiscent of The Mamas and Papas, and before that, Peter, Paul and Mary. It was composed by former drummer Skip Spence, who had left to form Moby Grape. The two tracks that close out side one are ballads written by by Marty Balin with Jack Kantner co-writing the first one, Today. Balin said that he was inspired to write Today while being in a recording studio next to one where Tony Bennett was recording. He had thought to write the song for Tony in hopes that he might meet him and give it to him. This never happened and it ended up being one of the Airplane’s most beautiful songs. Another lovely song, Comin’ Back to Me, which features Grace Slick on recorder, was written by Balin in one sitting, afterwards going right to the studio to record it with any available musicians. It has been included on soundtracks of several American feature films. 3/5 of Mile in Ten Seconds is a psychedelic blues-rocker that sheds light on the vibrant, drug-drenched San Francisco scene of 1966 while “there is a sense of reflection in some of the lines”, per Matthew Greenwald’s Allmusic song review. D.C.B.A.-25. The title is pretty simple, the letters are for chords in the song, and -25 comes from LSD-25. Paul Kantner composed it. A true sign of the times. The next song is the only one on the album written by someone not connected to the band in some way. Tom Mastin is the composer of How Do You Feel, which is similar to My Best Friend in that it is a folk-rock number with shades of The Mamas and The Papas in the vocalization. Like Comin’ Back to You, it also features Grace Slick on recorder in addition to her vocal harmonies. Little is known about Tom Mastin. Grace Slick had merely said that he was a friend of the band according to Barbara Rowes' biography of Slick. There is some light shed on him in a biography on the Brewer and Shipley website. Michael Brewer met Tom Mastin in Kent, Ohio in 1964, playing in a local club together, and they decided to check the scene out in San Francisco. Perhaps this is when he met up with local musicians at a time when bands like Jefferson Airplane and The Great Society were forming. After a brief stay Mastin and Brewer headed for Los Angeles to meet up with some friends. They ended up recording a three-song demo produced by Barry Friedman (later known as Mohawk Frazier), and Columbia Records offered a contract for them to record as Mastin & Brewer. As they, and two other band members added to the group, were preparing to record, Mastin walked away from the band. He is said to have suffered severe bouts of depression and eventually committed suicide in the ‘90s. The single was actually completed when Brewer recruited his brother Keith to perform Mastin’s vocals and Columbia released the Brewer & Brewer record, which attracted little attention. As already noted, Grace Slick had already written White Rabbit, but the first studio recording of it occurred shortly after she joined Jefferson Airplane. The thinly disguised references to psychedelic drugs meant it was banned in some markets, but it still managed a high position on the charts. It was not included on the U.K. version of the album and the released single there only reached No.94 on the UK Singles Chart. Marty Balin wrote the final cut on the album, Plastic Fantastic Lover, after spending time in a Los Angeles hotel watching television. It is his somewhat sarcastic viewpoint about how much people watch the medium, all done in a blues-rock style with the influence of James Brown/funk.

This one finally hit close to home for me. It was my first San Francisco "sound", Summer of Love record. It is also one of my all-time favorite records, as I’m sure it is with many other folks. It wasn't too hard to be attracted to The Airplane's music, what with first one big hit, and then another, riding the airwaves. They weren't new songs to the SF music scene, but soon the whole world was paying attention. Somebody To Love and White Rabbit were and still are catchy tunes that spoke to a generation. New generations are still tuning in. A young singer songwriter I know, Lisa Azzolino, covers White Rabbit. It is undoubtedly the most remarkable version I've heard since Grace Slick held forth with it back in the day. I remember being struck by some of the song titles and the band’s appearance. It was pretty foreign to me and quite fascinating. The album itself was likely something I might have bought even if I hadn’t heard  Somebody To Love. I even went so far as to buy the 45rpm of White Rabbit and Plastic Fantastic Lover. I’m pretty sure I got it because it was played so early in the Bay Area and hadn’t risen to hit status as yet. As time went by, Bay Area Top 40 stations were playing not only the two huge hits, but Plastic Fantastic Lover (which was on the single), Today, and even Embryonic Journey as well. The one song on the album that didn’t do much for me was My Best Friend. Perhaps it was too “folksy” for me, or seemed a bit “country”, but as time went on it started sticking in my head more and more. I even realized that it would just pop into my personal play list and I would be singing it to myself, probably as much or more as Somebody To Love, or Today. I never heard the single version on the radio though.

As I was researching information for this the name Matthew Katz stood out to me immediately. I’ve been familiar with it for a long time. primarily because of his likewise unscrupulous management associations with Moby Grape and It’s A Beautiful Day. I have friends involved in both bands and have heard some horror stories directly from them which include, among other things, “legal” control of publishing, and even the names of the bands. He refused to let go of these things and took advantage of them as much as he could without ever considering renegotiation. The fact that his legal wranglings with Jefferson Airplane has had a major impact on how artist-management arrangements are being handled since those days is gratifying to say the least.

I never got to see Jefferson Airplane in person, but I have seen Starship and a later version of Jefferson Starship. I saw the latter at Marin County Center one night. I recall that Paul Kantner was there on rhythm guitar, and Marty Balin sang a handful of his great songs, including some Jefferson Airplane favorites. It was special that Signe Anderson came out and sang a few songs which included her joining with Marty on Its No Secret. I had an opportunity to go to Monterey Pop because I had just spent a week in Pacific Grove that year and a friend who lived there invited me down for this festival that was happening a week or two after I was there. The problem was I didn’t have a way down and I didn’t really know how to approach such a thing with my parents. Ah well, nothing too much happened there, right?  And the Bay Area connection was special in more ways than one. Grace Slick nee Wing attended my alma mater Palo Alto High School, but switched to the private all-girls Castilleja High School, also in Palo Alto. I estimate she started Paly 14 or 15 years before I did, which meant I hadn’t arrived in town yet. Paul Kantner, born in San Francisco, was sent to a catholic military boarding school by his father after his mother died when he was eight years old. He graduated from St. Mary’s College High School in Berkeley in 1959, also before I moved to California, but ten years before I graduated from Paly High. To think, a religious military school. Paul puts it best in regard to his experience of being forced to be at St. Joseph’s Military Academy in Belmont CA: “I was an abandoned little child. The school was out of necessity, (his 61-year old salesman father couldn’t raise him on his own)  but still rather drastic. Nuns and guns. As a result, I now fear nothing.”

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/jefferson-airplane-mn0000840102/biography

https://www.allmusic.com/album/surrealistic-pillow-mw0000591676

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/surrealistic-pillow-251704/

https://books.google.com/books?id=TKyYNB0pGIoC&pg=PA15&lpg=PA15&dq=paul+kantner+saint+mary%27s+college+high+school+graduate&source=bl&ots=qa5ymlMsuE&sig=ACfU3U2fe1iOMB1NLVQgq0h-HTapXX4Ukw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwizipu0yqrpAhUHKKwKHZPdAYwQ6AEwAnoECAoQAQ#v=onepage&q=paul%20kantner%20saint%20mary's%20college%20high%20school%20graduate&f=false

Somebody to Love http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1251

https://www.amazon.com/best-friend-how-feel-single/dp/B007A6SAGI

https://www.allmusic.com/song/3-5-of-a-mile-in-10-seconds-mt0056876477

How Do You Feel composer https://www.allmusic.com/artist/tom-mastin-mn0001774142 http://www.brewerandshipley.com/Bios&Liners/Mastin&Brewer.htm

Surrealistic Pillow https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzEG2f9QAl8OaEk6_Mz2gG3DXBImWofzm

LP18

[filmadaydiary]

1/22/21 to 1/23/21

Marvel Part 3

This is the biggest chunk of the films by a bit, and a lot happens in here. I think there are four origin stories, and there’s even a sequel to one of those origins within the same group. A LOT happens, and in general things have been settled into a comfortable formula. And yet here we have some new directors, a lot of new characters, and some new takes on old favorites. Now that the MCU is so established, it seems people were more comfortable taking risks with these stories, and I think it pays off in audience satisfaction. Also, yes, we did watch seven movies in two days. What can I say? We’re good kids staying locked down.

1/22/21

Ant-Man – Peyton Reed, 2015

I’m very disappointed that this could have been an Edgar Wright movie. It comes so close, with the way Luis tells his stories and the structure of the final battle between the two tiny men. And yet it is definitely not Edgar Wright. It’s a pretty basic superhero origin story. That being said, Paul Rudd is a national treasure and absolutely carries this film. He is a delight to watch as the funny, clever lead, as he always is. He was made to be a quippy genius in a cool suit. Okay, that makes him sound like Iron Man. In a way, Ant-Man is Iron Man Lite. He’s not rich, he’s just an everyday guy. He is an engineer, but maybe not a genius. Most importantly, he’s genuinely funny, not rude, and he cares about his family. I do think the characterizations are what make this movie compelling, not the plot. It ties in very nicely to Civil War, and I enjoyed watching it directly before the epic crossover event. Having light-hearted characters with less worldly stakes keeps the MCU grounded and keeps superheroes from being too out of touch. 

Captain America: Civil War – Joe and Anthony Russo, 2016

I hesitate to say this, but I think this might be my favorite movie in the MCU. I can’t quite put my finger on why, because there are certainly more epic team-ups, and I hate when friends fight. And yet, I still love this film. One, you get Hawkeye in a non-Avengers event, which is always terribly exciting. Two, you get the character intros of some of the best characters ever (Spider-Man and Black Panther). And three, you get an intense debate about morals that actually gives you something to talk about after you leave the theater. It feels rare to have a superhero movie that doesn’t have morals hitting you over the head with righteousness and love. This movie really makes you think about control and consequences. And I love a movie that makes you think. I’m also slightly biased because I had a great premiere experience, I got to see an early screening and the exclusivity made it more exciting too. It pulls on a lot of existing threads within the MCU and brings the conflict to a head in a spectacular way. 

1/23/21

Spider-Man: Homecoming – Jon Watts, 2017

The stand-out role in Civil War, seeing Spider-Man on the big screen under Disney’s purview was certainly a treat. I appreciate that they didn’t go for yet another Peter Parker origin story, instead jumping in after he’s already become Spider-Man. We all know the story of the radioactive spider bite by now, so getting to see Spider-Man grow as a friendly neighborhood guy is delightful. It’s a high school coming-of-age movie that happens to feature superheroes. The stakes are brought down to a relatable level. Asking out the girl he likes is just as important as catching the bad guy, perhaps even more so. Tom Holland is the absolutely perfect casting choice, capturing both being an awkward teenager and being a web-slinging badass. And Tony Stark gets the opportunity to right his wrongs and step up to be a father figure for someone who desperately needs one. I do wish we got to focus on Peter’s story a little more, instead of using him as a pawn to fulfill Tony’s character arc. But that’s a small criticism for an otherwise lovely movie.

Black Panther – Ryan Coogler, 2018

Black Panther rocked the world when it came out, and rightfully so. Here we have a Black superhero who brings a respectful version of African traditions to the big screen. The worldbuilding of Wakanda is spectacular, showing that this hidden nation knows more about technology than anyone else in the world. It flies in the face of negative stereotypes about African peoples and blends aspects of tribalism in without making them feel like tokens. I think I like the Dora Milaje the best, the squad of women warriors who protect the king. They are so strong and beautiful with their shaved heads and spears and I love them. After Black Panther’s introduction in Civil War, it was nice to go into this movie and see what he dealt with in the weeks after his father’s death. Once again, seeing things in chronological order helped clarify any confusion I had about the timeline of things when they came out months apart in theaters. T’Challa had a really rough couple of weeks in there. Oh, and Michael B. Jordan is also excellent in his role as Killmonger. It’s a great movie for so many reasons. 

Doctor Strange – Scott Derrickson, 2016

I feel like a lot of people don’t like this movie. It is true that Doctor Strange is a little bit like a discount Tony Stark, a man who thinks the rest of the world is below him because of his superior intellect. At least this movie has the decency to break him down to nothing before giving him ridiculous superpowers that serve to reaffirm that belief. I think this movie is fine. It’s definitely one of the more visually arresting films, which I always appreciate. On visuals alone, I’d pick this over something like Ant-Man or Thor 2. The concept is also relatively cool, making it seem like wizardry can be learned by anybody. However, it does feel out of place in the timeline. We’re getting close to the end of the line here, and all this movie does for the overarching plot is introduce the Time Stone. But while I think it’s a perfectly passable origin story, it doesn’t make sense here at this point in Phase 3 of the MCU. Plus Marvel didn’t really need another overpowered quippy white man. Again, this is a fun movie to watch, but for the first time in awhile, this is better on its own than in sequence.

Thor: Ragnarok – Taika Waititi, 2017

Taika Waititi is a creative genius and should be allowed to take over the entire film industry. What We Do in the Shadows is one of my favorite movies of all time and I’m so glad that he is now on the map and taking over the Thor franchise going forward. He took the goofy Thor we all know and love and turned up the humor without compromising character, adding in nods to the previous movies and the fans without offending anybody. To say nothing of Korg, arguably one of the best side characters we’ve seen in the MCU thus far. After seeing it for the first time on my birthday, my brother announced upon leaving the theater that this was his new favorite MCU movie. I do think that this ranks pretty highly for me. It makes Thor fun again. Plus it’s just a really good movie. Like it features characters we already know, and then uses characteristics we haven’t seen before to make them well-rounded and more interesting to watch. And it’s stylistically very well done too! The scene with Thor using his lightning and the flashback with the Valkyries and the fight on the rainbow bridge... It’s all so good. And I haven’t even mentioned Jeff Goldblum. There’s a very good reason my brother likes this movie so much. It’s because it’s excellent.

Ant-Man and the Wasp – Peyton Reed, 2018

Now, Thor: Ragnarok leads directly into Infinity War, so I do sort of wish we’d gone into that next. But it was more important for us to watch Infinity War and Endgame back to back, so we decided to throw the Ant-Man sequel in here. This movie is about what Ant-Man and his friends were up to immediately before the events of Infinity War, maybe even during, because he wasn’t in that movie. And it sets up some VERY important plot points for Endgame. It makes a lot of sense to release these in the order they did. This is still an okay movie, but it ultimately feels like filler. Which is a shame, because these are good characters. Paul Rudd is still a delight, and so is the supporting cast of thieves. At the end of the day, it does feel necessary to watch this movie at some point so that the other ones make sense, but it also doesn’t feel like it has much impact on its own. The villain is interesting enough, the dialogue is still snappy, but the most impactful part of the film is the end credits scene when you see the Pym family get dusted. It’s a preview of what’s to come, even more haunting if you know it’s coming. But the part of the movie that makes you sit up and pay attention should not be hidden away in the credits.