#for me and everyone who else is tired and needs comfort šŸ’žšŸ’ž
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hanafubukki Ā· 2 months ago
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Thinking about having a long and tiring day.
Youā€™re exhausted but thereā€™s work to be done. So much work. Vision blurred. You can feel a headache coming. But no, you need to finish your work first. Then you can relax.
Lilia sees this. He sees you spiraling. He knows what itā€™s like to be focused to the point of ruin.
Heā€™s seen soldiers go through it, himself included. Itā€™s not something he wants you to go through.
So he goes to you and grabs you by your waist. Taking you away from your work despite your protest.
Sits on your bed with you plopped on top of him.
You try to protest but he kisses you quiet.
Runs hands down your back, loosening muscles as he deepens the kiss.
Holding you in place by neck and cheek, opens his eyes as he watches you melt in his hold.
With a final nibble to your lips, he releases you.
You bury your head in the crook of his neck. Too relaxed to move, eventually falling asleep.
Just as he wanted.
Everything else can wait.
Sleep.
He has you.
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littlelamy Ā· 1 month ago
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Rafe x Reader, perhaps something similar to the vibe of how Rose and Jack meet each other in Titanic. A girl who is at the end of the line wanting to end it until a boy shows up and stops her in the middle of it. Iā€™m a sucker for that movie, but hey it does not have to be a boat or anything. Whatever you want it to be to make it work for you.
a/n: thank you for sending a request! šŸ’ž
the night air was thick with humidity, wrapping around you like a suffocating blanket as you stood at the edge of the cliff, the ocean roaring below. you could barely hear the crash of waves over the thoughts echoing in your head.
you weren't sure how long you'd been standing there, staring down at the churning water, wondering if it would be cold or if the impact would hurt. maybe you wouldnā€™t feel anything at all. it had been a long time since you'd felt anything. the idea of nothingness, of silence, was comforting. it wasnā€™t the first time youā€™d come here, but tonight felt differentā€”like you were actually going to go through with it this time.
you werenā€™t supposed to be here. you werenā€™t supposed to be feeling like this. on the surface, you had everything. good grades, parents who gave you everything you asked for, a big house, the life of a kook. but no one really saw you. you felt like a ghost floating through your life, invisible even in your own skin.
your phone buzzed in your pocket, a half-hearted reminder that people still existed in the world beyond this cliff. but you didn't want to check. it was probably just more messages you didnā€™t want to deal withā€”more people asking things from you without actually caring aboutĀ you. a voice whispered in the back of your mind, asking what it would be like if you justā€¦ disappeared. would anyone even notice?
ā€œhey!ā€
the sudden shout startled you. your heart leaped in your chest as you turned to see a figure walking toward you, emerging from the shadows. the moonlight barely touched his face, but the voice was unmistakable.
rafe cameron.
you exhaled sharply, turning your gaze back to the ocean, wondering what the hell he was doing here. rafe, of all people. the bad boy of the kooks. the person you least expected to see in a place like this, and definitely not now. he was the last person whoā€™d ever care about something like thisā€”or someone like you.
ā€œhey, are youā€¦ā€ his voice trailed off as he got closer, and for the first time, you could feel his presence, not just hear it. it was like his energy was magnetic, pulling you toward him even when all you wanted to do was stay on the edge, teetering between decisions.
ā€œwhat do you want, rafe?ā€ you said, your voice hollow, drained of emotion. you didnā€™t even look at him.
ā€œi could ask you the same thing,ā€ he muttered, coming to stand beside you. he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, his gaze sweeping over the cliff. ā€œyou shouldnā€™t be here, you know.ā€
ā€œiā€™m here every night,ā€ you replied quietly, your voice almost drowned out by the crashing waves. you hugged your arms around yourself as the wind picked up, chilling you to the bone despite the summer heat.
ā€œyeah, i know.ā€ rafe's voice softened, like he was trying not to scare you. ā€œthat's why i'm here. iā€™ve seen you a few times.ā€
you finally turned your head to look at him, confusion flickering across your face. ā€œyouā€™ve been watching me?ā€
rafe shrugged, but there was something in his eyesā€”something vulnerable and raw. it wasnā€™t the cocky, careless boy everyone else saw. ā€œnotĀ watchingĀ you. just... noticing. you donā€™t exactly blend in, standing on the edge of a cliff like that.ā€
you stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure him out, but rafe cameron was a puzzle you werenā€™t sure you could solve. and you were too tired to even try. ā€œwell, iā€™m fine. you donā€™t need to worry about me.ā€
he let out a dry laugh. ā€œno offense, but you donā€™t look fine. and iā€™m not leaving until you step away from that ledge.ā€
you turned your body fully toward him now, your eyes narrowing. ā€œwhy do you care? you donā€™t even know me.ā€
rafe tilted his head, studying you in a way that made you uncomfortable. like he was seeing right through you. ā€œmaybe i do know you. maybe more than you think.ā€ his voice was calm, but there was something stormy beneath the surface.
you scoffed. ā€œright. like you know anything about me.ā€
ā€œi know what it feels like,ā€ he said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. ā€œfeeling like no oneā€™s paying attention. like nothing you do matters. you get stuck in this cycle, and no matter what you try, you canā€™t break out of it.ā€
his words caught you off guard. you stared at him, your heartbeat quickening. rafe cameron, the golden boy with the messed-up home life, the kid who always seemed to get in trouble, wasĀ relatingĀ to you?
ā€œdonā€™t act like you understand,ā€ you muttered, but the words felt weak even as you said them.
ā€œiā€™m not acting,ā€ he replied simply, his eyes meeting yours. the moonlight caught his face, casting shadows over his sharp jawline, and you could see the weariness in his features. ā€œi get it. you feel like youā€™re at the end of your rope, right?ā€
you didnā€™t answer. instead, you turned back toward the cliff, your gaze locked on the horizon where the sea met the sky. ā€œwhatā€™s the point? nothing ever changes.ā€
rafe was quiet for a moment, his gaze flicking between you and the ocean. ā€œmaybe things donā€™t change,ā€ he said finally. ā€œbutĀ youĀ do. you can. you donā€™t have to be stuck here.ā€
his words hit you like a punch to the gut. you didnā€™t know why, but something about the way he said it made you believe, just for a second, that he might be right. that maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of this dark place.
but then the familiar wave of doubt washed over you, and you shook your head. ā€œitā€™s not that easy.ā€
ā€œi know itā€™s not,ā€ rafe said softly, his voice laced with understanding. ā€œbut itā€™s not impossible either.ā€
you felt a lump rise in your throat, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the weight of everything hit you all at once. the loneliness, the pressure, the suffocating feeling of being trapped in your own life. tears stung your eyes, and you tried to blink them away, but one slipped down your cheek before you could stop it.
rafe noticed. he took a step closer, and without saying anything, he gently reached up, wiping the tear away with his thumb. his touch was surprisingly soft, careful, like he wasnā€™t used to handling things this fragile.
ā€œitā€™s okay,ā€ he whispered, his voice almost lost in the sound of the ocean. ā€œyou donā€™t have to do this alone.ā€
you didnā€™t say anything, but the way he was looking at youā€”so intensely, so full of something you couldnā€™t quite nameā€”made it impossible to pull away. his hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb tracing lightly over your skin, sending shivers down your spine.
before you could even process what was happening, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in the softest kiss, like he was afraid you might break if he pushed too hard. it wasnā€™t desperate or forceful. it was just... real.
you closed your eyes, leaning into him, feeling the warmth of his breath against your skin, the steady beat of his heart through his chest. for the first time in a long time, you didnā€™t feel like you were drowning.
when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath shaky as he spoke. ā€œiā€™m not letting you go back to that ledge, okay? not tonight. not ever.ā€
you nodded, your eyes still closed, letting his words settle in. for the first time, you believed him.
rafeā€™s hand slipped from your cheek, his fingers finding yours, lacing them together as he gently tugged you away from the cliff's edge, back toward the world you werenā€™t sure you could face alone.
but with him, maybe you wouldnā€™t have to.
ā€œcome on,ā€ he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. ā€œletā€™s get out of here.ā€
you didnā€™t say anything, but you didnā€™t need to. you followed him, your hand still in his, the weight of everything that had been crushing you easing with every step.
and when he turned to you one last time, his eyes soft and full of unspoken promises, you knew this was a new beginning.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @dinakisser
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shiftersroom Ā· 4 months ago
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hi thala! šŸ’ž so sorry if you donā€™t accept this kind of asks but i just feel like i need to vent and your vlog is always reassuring and comforting.
currently iā€™m in this situation where i just want to get out of this cr and permashift to my dr asap, but it seems like i canā€™t stop self sabotaging myself and iā€™m so so tired of it. last night i was crying my heart out because of how bad i felt about it. iā€™ve been practicing meditation so i can enter the void and even though it seems like i learned to keep my mind awake and body sleep i havenā€™t been able to get past that and itā€™s so frustrating. i know thereā€™s tons of methods and also everyone says i donā€™t even need one but i idk why i have this idea that i need some method to detach from my cr really printed on my mind. for the self sabotaging part, i canā€™t help but have trust issues regarding myself and the community, sometimes itā€™s my intrusive thoughts making me doubt about shifting being real/posible and otherā€™s successful experiences (saying it must have been a lucid dream or they are just making it up and i really HATE and feel guilty to discredit their experiences in that way šŸ˜­) and other times my belief in shifting is unwavering but i donā€™t feel capable of it. i'm not even the kind of person who has ever had any ā€œcloser attemptsā€ or mini shifts and has been really hard for me to find what works best for me, meditation is by far what iā€™ve been trying the most but iā€™m just so impatient that sometimes i canā€™t help but feel that iā€™m going nowhere. my mind is really so stubborn when it comes to trying to change negative thoughts.
sorry for all of this, i donā€™t have shifting friends or someone i can share this stuff with. i donā€™t usually tend to feel this way but last night i just kinda collapsed, it crossed my mind that maybe i'm wasting my time and that i should just give up but i donā€™t want to, if this shii is real i need to experience it no matter what. i want to be with the ones i love and live the life i want. i donā€™t want to stay here any longer. i want to try loa along with shifting but then again, my intrusive thoughts say that iā€™ll be just gaslighting myself and all that.
i know no one else can fix these problems for me, but iā€™m so scared of failure or just being delusional for believing in all of this. sorry again for the long vent, i needed to get this off my chest. love you and your blog so much thala. if you donā€™t really want to accept this because honestly is like a long ass and probably demotivating ramble itā€™s totally okay, but thank you for taking the time if you do. hope you keep being happy and having success with everything you do. šŸ˜­šŸ«¶šŸ»
hello šŸ’• please feel free to vent, i donā€™t mind.
i completely understand your level of frustration, i badly want to permashift too and i have little breakdowns every few months once it catches up to me that nothing has fully worked yet.
the void can take a long time to perfect. i mean monks spend decades learning to meditate! why donā€™t you try something other than meditation? if youā€™ve given it a good go and it hasnā€™t worked, itā€™s probably not the method for you. i recommend a short break before trying a new method. rn iā€™m writing an affirmation 100 times a day. but honestly if that doesnā€™t work iā€™m straight up gonna lay there and visualize for 8 hours every night. iā€™m getting out of here no matter what.
try asking yourself what you think will work for you - sometimes we know the answer but we need to sit down and think about it. for example i keep doing affirmations, or short visualizations. but i feel what will make me shift is just laying there and telling myself to stfu and visualize until iā€™m there, even if it takes hours.
as for the self sabotage, i cope with that by watching my favorite creators and realizing that no one in their right mind would upload years of unpaid content that most people would ridicule us for, all for it to be a lie or joke. especially older shifters. and the other thing i like to do is remind myself that if i shifted and came back, no matter how ridiculous the experience was itā€™d still be real - so even if you donā€™t believe someone bc it sounds outlandish, it can still be real.
iā€™m also scared of being delusional but i simply cannot and will not remain here. there is no other option for me, so iā€™ll persist forever. the first time i shifted i had no idea id shift. that keeps me motivated, i could feel awful and still wake up in my dr tomorrow.
forever posting this reddit post by someone who shifted after 5 years, this was my fave comment of theirs:
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and that motivates me even more - even if itā€™s fake iā€™m gonna make it real.
i also struggle with trying to change negative thoughts and my mindset, iā€™m in my mid 20s this stuff is harder to believe in at this age, and my mind has been tainted by years of bad experiences. but as hard as it is iā€™m forcing myself to get over it and try everything, bc i just need to shift once and all my bad experiences will be over.
iā€™m sorry if i gave you a big rant in return haha, but i hope this helps!! šŸ’• iā€™m so happy you like my blog and thanks for your sweet words šŸ„¹
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omg-just-peachy Ā· 5 years ago
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jdjsjs I cant find the fall prompts but!! anything related to steve being cold and tony making sure hes always Extra Cosy?? thank u ily šŸ˜ŒšŸ’–šŸŒˆšŸŒ šŸ’ŒšŸ’«šŸŒŸšŸ’žšŸ’šŸŒ šŸ’–
Ahh, this took FOREVER, but I hope you enjoy it!Ā šŸ˜ŒšŸ’–
Tony watches Steve shift in his seat, tug the comically small throw blanket over his huge frame, shiver, then repeat the process all over again. Itā€™d be funny if it wasnā€™t so adorably sad. He was like a Great Dane puppy, bunching himself up as small as he can to get comfortable ā€” or, in Steveā€™s case ā€” get warm.Ā 
Tony had noticed this about Steve almost as soon as he moved into the Tower; he was nearly always chilly, especially for someone who supposedly ā€œran hot.ā€ Steve walked around with layers on, swiped jackets from the backs of chairs, and was always the first to the living room for movie night, so as to have the best seat with the most blankets. This plan backfired tonight, hence the shifting and shuffling under a blanket made for a much smaller person. Tony was getting scoliosis just watching him contort himself under that thing.Ā 
Steve Rogers getting cold had become something of a focus for Tony in recent months. One could argue that Steve had become a focus for him in recent months, but that was beside the point. Tony had taken to increasing the temperature in Steveā€™s room at night, and in the rest of the building when he was out and about at home, much to the annoyance of everyone else.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re killing us, Tony. Are you trying to cook us, like the witch and her oven in Hansel and Gretel?ā€ Clint whined at him one afternoon in early fall. It wasnā€™t cold out by any stretch of the imagination, but Steve had come into the kitchen that morning and passed Tony a mug with hands so frigid Tony was tempted to have JARVIS check him for anemia, even though he knew the serum made that highly unlikely.Ā 
Tony huffed, turning away from the thermostat and rolling his eyes, but before he could answer, Natasha piped up from the couch.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s obviously trying to woo Steve through some primal attempt to care for him. Capā€™s always cold, so we get to suffer,ā€ she explained.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s- Iā€™mā€¦ Fine, turn it down then,ā€ Tony sighed. ā€œI just own the building, what do I care?ā€ He stalked away, trying his best to ignore the laughter that followed him.Ā 
So he wanted to help Steve out, so what?
There was also the night in the kitchen, though, Tony recalled. Heā€™d found Steve at the counter, wrapped up in a sweatshirt that looked as old as he was, fumbling to light the stove and make some tea. His hands were shaking, and Tony and smiled softly at him from the doorway before taking the mug and the kettle from him and making the tea himself.Ā 
Caveman, flame.
It didnā€™t matter though, because Tony made a mug for himself too, so itā€™s not like it was any extra trouble. He drank tea sometimes. Really, dried leaves in boiling water was a delight. Absolutely as good as coffee. Or at least, it could be when it came paired with Steve and the tired, grateful smile heā€™d given Tony, and the hours theyā€™d spent in the too-warm living room watching late night hosts grill celebrities.Ā 
Then came the time Steve found Tony in the lab, experimenting with new suits that were extra warm and insulated, without losing any of their protection.Ā 
Tony had been at it for hours, and hadnā€™t even heard Steve come in until he cleared his throat and asked quietly, ā€œThat for me?ā€
Something shifted between them then, and Tony felt caught out, exposed in his efforts to take care of Steve Rogers in what little ways he could. He hadnā€™t planned to make a big deal out of the suit, anyway. Steve needed it and Tony could make it, had the time to play around with it, no big deal. But Steve had looked from the workbench to Tony looking like he was trying to do some kind of complex math and Tony felt his face warm at the attention.Ā 
ā€œYeah I thoughtā€¦ itā€™s getting cold out, you might like something a little more, you know. Reinforced,ā€ Tony said, shrugging. Heā€™s never asked Steve why he was always cold, had just assumed it was just another side effect of spending so much time as a Capsicle.
Steve studied him, blue eyes shining. ā€œItā€™s perfect, Tony, thank you,ā€ he said sincerely, fingering the material and pausing. ā€œI swear I wasnā€™t this cold when I was a hundred pounds soaking wet and constantly sick. I think some of the ice mustā€™ve seeped into my bones or something,ā€ he laughed a little sadly, and Tony wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to tell Steve heā€™d build him a hundred suits and buy him as many blankets and none of it would be a problem if it meant more moments like this one, more of Steveā€™s laser-focused attention on him, more quiet, late nights just the two of them.Ā 
Instead, he placed a hand on Steveā€™s arm, just for a second, and it felt warm to the touch, for once. ā€œNo problem, Steve,ā€ he promised. ā€œWe all have our things.ā€
Steve stayed after that, sitting with Tony in the lab while he finished up, and they talked about a lot of nothing before lapsing into a comfortable kind of quiet. Tony couldnā€™t be sure, but the space felt warmer than he remembered it being, without him even touching the thermostat.Ā 
Which brings them back to right now: the team, the movie, the chilly room around them. Even Tony was cold, which meant someone had messed with the temperature before the movie started. He sneaks another look at Steve, who seems to have found a somewhat sustainable position under the throw, and something in him justā€¦dissolves. Heā€™s wearing a sweater thatā€™s relatively warm, and Steveā€™s got the blanket, and a long-sleeved thermal shirt on, and he decides that theyā€™d be a lot better off if they were tucked in together.Ā 
It clicks for him then: theyā€™re justā€¦ better together, and maybe he should finally do something about it.
Tony inches over to Steve, who looks at him, wide-eyed. Tony shrugs and gives him a smile thatā€™s mostly a question, hoping he hadnā€™t been reading all of this wrong all along, but Steveā€™s smile is the answer he hoped for, and he lifts an arm so Tony can settle in against him, placing the blanket across both of them as best he can. Tony wraps himself around Steve and sighs; itā€™s like slipping into a hot bath, a comforting, bone-melting warmth seeping through him.Ā 
ā€œWarm enough now?ā€ Tony asks.Ā 
Steve tightens his arms around Tony, smiling into his chest, shy and content and happy, and nods.
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