#for maya and the other girls coming forward that they’ll never be able to have true closure ?????

[sophism]

so many things are upsetting me about this tho like, for Niall to be the member who saw him last and the fact that he was in the area just to see him (and in the condition that it happened no less), for Zayn never being able to make true amends, for Louis and Harry after already going through so much loss like 😭😭😭😭 I just keep thinking about it and making myself upset all over again

[angelhotchner]

Bad Bitch

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader Style: One Shot based on Song Contents: Borderline Smut, Adult Language, Grinding

Meeting your old friends on a night out with the BAU shows them a side to you that they never knew.

Request: Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha

Masterlist

“Y/N/N!”       Y/N hadn’t heard that voice in so long. Or that nickname. She wasn’t even sure that it was the person she thought it was, the voice seeming like a distance memory, until a familiar face appeared in front of her.      “Maya!” Y/N smiled, pulling her college best-friend into a huge hug, nearly toppling over into Rossi in the process. Maya pulled away, grinning as a few other girls ran over. Y/N hadn’t seen her college girls since they graduated. She’d literally took off as soon as she had her degree, barely keeping in contact, her dreams seeming too important than maintaining old friendships. The girls never held it against her, knowing how determined Y/N was to join the FBI, but they’d thought about her regularly.       Y/N introduced them to her BAU team, rolling her eyes as Maya raised her brows at Morgan, who smiled flirtatiously at her and stepped forward.      “Not now, Casanova,” Y/N quipped at Morgan, and he raised his hands, chuckling as the girls dragged Y/N to the bar.      “I wonder if they’ll adopt me,” Penelope giggled, watching as Y/N and her old friends danced and giggled at the bar, before downing shots and cheering.     “Could you keep up?” Prentiss smirked, her gaze glued onto Y/N as she downed another shot. Three in a row.     “I think I could,” Morgan joked.     “It’s your song and you’re gonna sing it!” Maya yelled, grabbing Y/N’s hand and pulling her through the strings of people on the dance floor. Y/N barely had time to argue before a microphone was shoved in her hand, the shots making her a little slow to react. Before Y/N could process what Maya was doing, she found herself stood on the small stage overlooking the dance floor and the booth that her team was sat in. They didn’t know how wild she used to be, or that she still had some of that wildness inside her - this song would blow that right out. Mixed with the shots, and the girls being here, she wouldn’t be able to contain herself in front of her team. She signaled to Maya that this was a bad idea, but Maya paid no attention as the song began.      “Fuck it,” Y/N mumbled under her breath.

You’re sayin’ that your tired of all your empty habits, You want something that’s deeper ‘cause you’re over the generics

The song set Y/N alight, her body rolling fluidly as she sang. In her mind, the team were gone. In her mind, she was back in college at some crazy party, singing the signature song.

You’re fuckin’ with them basics when you really want the baddest

The girls screamed at Y/N’s hip sexily popping forward as she sang ‘baddest’.

So come on, baby, get it, 'cause to miss it, it would be tragic

Y/N circled her hips, her body moving like sensual silk, as she slowly walked down from the stage.

You say you want a bad bitch, baby, now you have it Now you got a bad bitch, show me you can handle this Say you want a bad bitch, baby, now you have it Now you got the baddest, show me you can handle this

Microphone still in hand, the girls formed a small line in the dancefloor, Y/N in the middle, grinding and rolling on each other. The team watched, their eyes growing wider and wider. Prentiss couldn’t help but start cheering, grabbing Garcia’s hand and running over to Y/N and her old friends. Garcia giggled as Y/N seduced Prentiss over, dancing with her as she sang.

“We’ve lost them,” JJ chuckled from the booth, watching her colleagues grabbing and grinding each other. Even Penelope joined in the dancing, holding her phone out and recording everything.

“I’m not complaining,” Derek smirked, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head, happy to be watching the show in front of him. Even Hotch was laughing.

I pay my own bills and I pay my own rent 'Cause I’m indepe-, independent I buy my own rings and I do my own things 'Cause I’m indepe-, independent I know it really hurts, I know it ain’t fair You’re not allowed to touch, but you can stare Know it really hurts, know it ain’t fair So keep sayin’ your prayers

Emily grabbed Y/N’s hand and held it up, pulling her towards the team’s booth, Penelope pushing behind. Y/N’s old friends were happily still dancing on the dance-floor.

Y/N had given up caring about how she was acting - she was out, she was having fun and the team didn’t seem to mind at all. They were even joining in. Rossi’s hand caught Prentiss’ eyes as he signaled towards Reid, grinning devilishly. Reid was sat bolt-upright, tense, and his expression read nothing but shock. The poor man seemed a little traumatized at the sudden change in Y/N. She was usually fairly quiet, shy almost - the kind to shy away from any attention or spotlight.

Y/N was pushed towards Reid. She couldn’t help but smirk at his face - he really had no idea about the other side to her. She rolled her hips as she stood in front of him, his eyes frantically switching from her hips to her face.

You want a bad bitch, baby, now you have it Y/N pointed to him. Now you got a bad bitch, show me you can handle this   She ran her hand down her hips. Say you want a bad bitch, baby, now you have it  She took another step forward, her knees touching his as he gazed up at her. Now you got the baddest, show me you can handle this  She didn’t give a fuck as she lifted her right leg and stretched it over his left knee, gaining balance before bringing her other leg over his, straddling him. She could hear the team cheering and laughing, teasing Reid. He was so red that he looked like he was going to explode from embarrassment.

Bad bitch, bad bitch Bad bitch, bad bitch Bad bitch, bad bitch Bad bitch, bad bitch Show me you can handle this

Y/N grinded her hips against his thighs as she sang the last verse of the song, before thrusting her body flat against his as she sang the last line. She could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. The feeling of his chest puffing in and out from breathlessness was enough to make her smirk. For a second, she stopped hearing the team’s laughter, the clapping, everything. She placed the mic onto the table next to her. Had his eyes always glowed like that?

“Garcia, are you still recording?” Y/N asked, her gaze not leaving Reid’s as his brows furrowed in confusion. She’d only just realized that his arms had snuck forward, his hands firmly placed onto her waist.

“Why?” Rossi asked, still chuckling.

“I’d rather there not be any proof of me breaking the fraternization rule.”

Reid’s eyes grew wider and his nails began digging into Y/N’s waist.

“It’s just a bit of fun, you’re not breaking any rules.” Hotch said, and Reid caught the shadow of a grin settling into Y/N’s face.

“I’m about to,” Reid mumbled, the first words he’d managed to choke out since Y/N began singing. She raised her eyebrows at him, before leaning in close to his ear and whispering. Prentiss managed to hear her, her eyes widening as both agents jumped up and left the bar quickly.

“What the fuck did she say?” Morgan asked, and the whole team looked towards Emily. She began laughing as she shook her head, but the team pressed on, until Garcia began screaming in excitement and pointing to the window in front of them, where Reid and L/N were having a very steamy make-out session on the street outside.

“She said she wanted to do the song again, minus the clothes,”

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || iii

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime is easy. your feelings aren’t ignored, either. but is it worth the complications it could cause? iwaizumi made a decision for you. but, life goes on. 

warnings: f!reader, Emotions 

wc: 4.6k (i’m so sorry we had a lot of ground to cover)

m.list | ch. 2 ↞ ch. 3 ↠ ch. 4 

last time...

“Look, I…” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I think it’s best if we pretend this never happened.”

The world shuttered to a stop. The mild afternoon sun was now searing your skin.

✧ ✧ ✧

“He disgusts me,” Amaya shivered, angrily shoving a spoonful of strawberry kakigori into her mouth. “Piece of—”

“It was ages ago,” you sighed, picking at the mountain of flavoured ice in front of you. “It’s not that important…”

“Yes, it is,” Amaya leant forward across the table. “It’s his fault, right? He kissed you.”

You bit your lip, giving your friend a pitiful look.

To say it was ages ago wasn’t quite a lie. It was finally the summer holidays, and it’d be a few months since that fateful afternoon.

You hadn’t wanted to spend your summer break thinking about this sort of thing. It felt like a waste of emotional energy.

But you just couldn’t get it out of your head.

You kept replaying the same few moments over and over in your mind – the kiss, the morning after it, the conversation…

“In my humble opinion,” Amaya sighed, preparing herself another scoop of kakigori, “I think he should answer for what he’s done.”

“Please don’t say anything,” you whined, reaching across the table and grabbing her wrist. “Don’t do anything, either. I don’t want to cause a mess.”

“He’s the one who caused a mess,” Amaya huffed, dropping her spoon into the kakigori bowl. “You have a right to be pissed.”

“I am pissed,” you sighed. “It’s just… I kind of get where he was coming from, you know?”

“No.”

“Well, like—” You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, trying to clear your mind. “If we’d broken up, that’d make things really awkward.”

“Isn’t it already awkward?”

“I… yeah…”

“I just think he could’ve gone about it better,” she shrugged. “That’s all.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, twirling your spoon between your fingers. “You’re right about that, at least…”

Amaya watched you for a moment, pursing her lips together. You knew what she was thinking. That was reason enough to fear any potential advice.

“Date someone else,” she suggested. “Maybe that’ll help you get over him.”

You grimaced, cursing her for being able to read your mind. “No thanks.”

“Why not?” Amaya asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Yahaba seems to be into you.”

You shook your head vehemently. “Ew, no! He’s on my brother’s team.”

“And?”

You shot your friend a dithering look. “That’s the problem, Maya,” you scoffed. “If Iwaizumi’s not ‘good enough’, then I doubt anyone else on the team is.”

“Did your brother say that?” Amaya gaped.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. But that’s what Iwaizumi implied.”

Amaya scoffed, screwing up her nose. “Men aren’t worth it.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “That’s true…”

“And men,” she said, pointing a finger directly at you, “don’t deserve you.”

“You know what?” You grinned, tilting your head at her. “You’re right.”

“I always am,” she replied, waving a hand at you.

You sighed, stretching your arms above your head. “Besides, if I end up going to America, I don’t want to deal with a long-distance relationship,” you grimaced. “Sounds tough.”

“What, you wouldn’t fight for love?” Amaya teased, fishing her phone out of her pocket.

You stuck your tongue out at her, screwing up your nose. “Shut up.”

Amaya giggled, looking down at her phone screen.

You took the opportunity to treat yourself to some of the kakogiri. The two of you had barely made a dent in it.

Amaya dropped her phone back into her pocket, tilting her head at you. “Hey, aren’t those qualifiers coming up soon or something?”

“Hm?”

“For your brother’s volleyball,” she shrugged. “You said something about going to nationals?”

“Oh, right!” You perked up, nodding. “If they win these preliminaries, they’ll finally get to go to nationals.”

“This is your brother’s last chance, right?”

Your stomach sank a little. “Yeah. He’s… he’s been working really hard.”

“Really hard?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or too hard?”

“What do you think?”

She sighed, placing her hands in her lap. “Right.”

You pressed your lips together, frowning.

“Hey, hey,” Amaya hummed, leaning over to flick your forehead. “Try not to think too much, okay? We’re supposed to be having fun.”

You smiled at her weakly.

“No more talk of boys,” she decreed, waving her spoon at you. “They’re a waste of time anyway.”

✧ ✧ ✧

There might be a thousand other places you’d rather be than outside Seijoh’s gym. But, you’d come to the conclusion that God hated you, and therefore would take any opportunity to submit you to some kind of punishment.

Tonight, it was this – standing outside a gym where a mass of sweaty teenage boys congregated, one of which was your brother, and another the Iwaizumi Hajime.

Tooru had always finished practice late, but this was just ridiculous.

Initially, you’d been content with walking yourself home after class, asserting that you were grown up enough to trawl the streets of Miyagi without a chaperone.

But recently, you’d signed up for the student council. You were surprised they let you in so late in the year,

Your parents had been chuffed with that, proclaiming that you were “finally showing some initiative” and that it was “a great way to teach you some responsibility.”

You hadn’t told them that the real reason you’d joined was because you were worried about Tooru.

You peeked inside the gym, eyes scanning the brightly lit hardwood for any sign of your brother.

You didn’t bother to check your watch. It was far too late in the evening for that anyway.

The boys were scrambling around on the court, jumping and spiking and all that volleyball stuff. You managed to catch sight of your brother, who, by your observation, was very much in the zone.

Perhaps maybe it would be okay for you to sit in on—

A flash of spikey hair was enough to make you recede, drawing yourself back into the dark.

You sighed, turning around and slumping yourself against the wall. Somehow, you felt even more exhausted than before.

Fuck this.

Fuck school and all it’s damn responsibilities.

Fuck your brother’s determination to overwork himself until he’s falling apart at the seams.

And fuck Iwaizumi Hajime.

Maybe you should just head home. Tooru would come home eventually, and…

No. That defeated the point.

You’d just have to wait it out, Iwaizumi Hajime be damned.

A few more minutes passed. You heard who you believed to be the coach call out an end to practice, followed by a resounding “Yes!”

You sighed, checking your watch. Seven o’clock. Even that would be considered a late practice.

Usually Tooru would usually wave the rest of the team out, spending the next hour on his own.

But not tonight.

You scampered through the gym doors, making a beeline for your disaster of a brother.

“Hey, Oika-chan!” A voice called out, making you stumble in your approach.

Ah, Matsukawa.

“Hey,” you waved absentmindedly, unsure of how exactly to process that nickname. It didn’t exactly roll off the tongue

“Stop calling her that!” Tooru yelled from the other side of the gym. “It doesn’t even sound cute!”

“You’re just jealous,” you shot back instinctively. “You just wish you were me.”

Tooru scoffed, ready to launch into a new tirade.

But you weren’t listening to him. Against your best efforts, your eyes sought out Iwaizumi. He wasn’t even looking at you.

Ouch.

Sure, you’d be avoiding him as best you could; finding excuses to be in your room or out with your friends whenever he was round at your house, always positioning Tooru between the two of you whenever you were forced to spend time with him... But, that didn’t stop it hurting. 

You shook off the disappointment and continued your route to Tooru.

“Oi,” you barked, jabbing a finger at him. “Hurry up. I’m making dinner tonight and you’re going to enjoy it.”

Tooru screwed his nose up at you, grimacing. “But I still need to practice.”

You came to a stop in front of him, grabbing his elbow. “Too bad.”

“Aw, don’t complain,” Matsukawa grinned, suddenly appearing and looping his arm around Tooru’s shoulders. “We don’t all have a cute girl vying to cook us dinner.”

“Ew!” Tooru shrieked, shrugging off Matsukawa’s arm. “Don’t be gross that’s my sister!”

“I slave over the countertop for you and you don’t even have the decency to respect my efforts,” you scoffed, deciding to ignore Matsukawa’s half-compliment. You weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

“Just stick it in the fridge,” Tooru sighed. “I’ll heat it up when I get home.”

Agitation brewed in your stomach, your mouth turning dry.

If he stayed here, he’d just overwork himself like he always did. And he’d come home sore and exhausted, bandages on his fingers and bags under his eyes.

But the prefecturals were so soon. If he wore himself out now, he wouldn’t be able to play to the best of his ability.

“Tooru, that’s not fair and you know it,” you whined. “Please.”

He tutted at you, shaking his head. “Now, now, as the older sibling, it’s natural law that I know be—”

“Hurry up, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi grumbled, coming up behind Tooru and kneeing him in the back.

Tooru yelped, stumbling forward and out of your grasp. “Iwa!”

“We’ll clean up just fine without you,” Iwaizumi muttered, stepping away from your brother.

He caught your eye.

Your breath caught in your throat. Was he going to speak to you? Acknowledge you? Make you feel like things weren’t as weird as they were?

He just gave you an almost imperceptible nod.

You gave him a small smile in response despite the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Of course, Iwaizumi understood. He probably understood better than you did.

“Come on,” you whined, grabbing Tooru’s elbow and yanking him towards you. “Or I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, dragging him towards the door. After a small scuffle he grabbed his bag, whining about how he was still in his sweaty gym clothes.

You waved off his concerns, telling him it was his own fault. Mustering all your strength you managed to push him outside, reprimanding him for wasting so much of your time.

You glanced over your shoulder one last time as you left. You weren’t quite sure why.

But Iwaizumi met your gaze for just a moment, his jaw tense.

That look stuck in your mind for the rest of the evening.

✧ ✧ ✧

The last thwack of a ball on the court.

Your brother, body half-twisted and arms outstretched, fighting to the very final second.

Everything the team had worked so hard for, gone. Crushed.

All those hours, all those late nights spent practicing, all the sweat and grief and band-aids.

All meaningless.

It was written on their faces. Regret, disappointment, shock.

And Iwaizumi. Poor steadfast, honourable Iwaizumi.

You’d never seen him cry. Never. But there he stood on the court, doing everything he could to hold back the tears.

You couldn’t even guess at what was going through his mind: probably some guilt about letting everyone down, for not being the best version of himself for the team.

You hoped, for his sake, that nobody else was paying attention to him.

Tooru patted him on the back. A firm, solid slap.

Even you could tell how much meaning was in that one gesture.

You gripped the barrier tightly, your knuckles beginning to ache. You watched with bitterness on your tongue, ready to cry the tears that Tooru refused to.

By the time you meet the team outside, you knew he didn’t want a hug. Even if you wanted desperately to give him one, he wouldn’t accept it.

He’s too angry for that.

You don’t know what to say; he’s worked so hard for this.

They all have.

And now they have to walk away from it all, no real victory to their name. Oikawa Tooru – destined for greatness, but yet unknown outside of Miyagi. He never did make it to nationals.

You bit your lip, regret and frustration and sympathy twisting in your stomach. There’s nothing you could’ve done, but by God you wished you’d done more.

Something. Anything.

But you’re just his little sister, a girl with nothing to offer. You hadn’t even stepped into the manager role when he’d asked you to in your first year. You’d been so distant from this world of his, a distance you’d only widened since that little hiccup with Iwaizumi.

You turned to the team, racking your brain for the appropriate thing to say.

You bowed. “Thank you for all your hard work.”

It felt empty, but you meant it. You knew that most of all, Tooru was proud of the team. Proud of what they’d built together.

It’d been three years of pain, but they’d done it together. And you knew, deep in your heart, that they’d given their all for him. That, at least, you were grateful.

You didn’t say goodbye.

Your fists are clenched at your sides as you exit the building, rushing home on aching thighs. You hadn’t even realised you’d been tensing so hard during the game.

Thoughts stumbled through your mind on the walk, trying to sort themselves out.

Should you have said something to Iwaizumi? Offered him some comfort?

He was obviously shaken by what’d happened. But perhaps that would’ve been stepping over a line. Maybe it would’ve made him uncomfortable.

And yet, you regretted not addressing him. He, more than anyone else, had given everything for Tooru.

His time, his sweat, his heart.

He couldn’t give anything to you because…

You swallowed, shaking your head. Now wasn’t the time to feel bitter.

Once you walked through the front door, you raced to the kitchen and rifled through your cupboards.

Bread flour, yeast, sugar…

A peek in the fridge.

Milk, butter, eggs.

You set everything on the counter, clattering around in your cupboards until you find a bowl, a whisk, a wooden spoon and a baking pan.

Your next few hours are a flurry of measuring ingredients, kneading dough with aching thumbs, checking oven temperatures and waiting.

You did all sorts of things to distract yourself during the waiting period: cleaning, reading, homework, laundry. But you could only do them in spurts, little five-to-ten-minute blocks until your anxiety returned.

You’d have to sleep this off.

By the time the oven finally pinged, letting you know you were finally free of your baking duties, you were exhausted.

But you rushed back over to the oven and took out your loaf, inspecting it once over. It looked okay – not as good at Kaori’s, but passable. Hopefully it tasted alright. You didn’t have the guts to check.

You let it cool as you grabbed a scrap of paper and scribbled out a little note.

“Good job today, you asswipe. You inspire me to work harder and go farther.

I’m so proud of you.”

You bit your lip, looking it over once. Is it sensitive enough? Is it too sensitive? Would it bring him comfort? Would it piss him off?

Hard to say.

You sighed, folding it over so it could prop up like a tent.

You cut off a third of the loaf, still hot, and plopped it on a plate. You wrapped the rest of the loaf up and placed it in the bread holder. Perhaps you’d have some tomorrow.

Tooru’s room, usually a place that was very out of bounds, was the next stop on your anxious little trip around the house. You placed the plate on his bedside table, propping the note up next to it. Hopefully this would make him smile, even if just by a little.

But you didn’t want to wait up to see.

The comfort of your own bed was calling you, coaxing you into an early night’s sleep.

You laid down with a sigh, unsure of whether or not you could be bothered to have a bath.

A little suggestion crawled through your mind, dragging itself along by it’s fingernails.

You tried to shoo it away. It was a terrible idea, really. One that was bound to end with you feeling quite shitty.  

But tonight wasn’t about you. It wasn’t about your feelings.

You sighed, picking up your phone from the bedside table.

Hey, you typed.

[YOU] 7:31 PM: I hope you don’t mind me texting you like this, but thanks for looking after Tooru so well.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you stared at the name “Iwaizumi Hajime” at the top of your screen. Taking a deep breath, you tapped the blue arrow.

The message slipped into the grey space above, into the train of messages that hadn’t moved in months.

You stared at it a moment longer, fingers flitting anxiously around your screen.

Oh, fuck it.

[YOU] 7:33 PM: And thanks for being the best Ace he could’ve asked for.

It’s not what you wanted to say. It’s not what you feel like you should’ve said. There’s so much more, so much left unsaid.

But tonight isn’t about me, you reminded yourself. It’s about him. About them. About all they’ve been through together.

You waited a few minutes, heart hammering in your chest.

A response.

[Iwaizumi] 7:37 PM: Thank you.

[Iwaizumi] 7:37 PM: I’m sorry it wasn’t enough.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Argentina?” You hissed. “But that’s—”

“On the other side of the world,” Tooru shrugged. “What are you so mad for? You’re the one who wants to go to America.”

You had nothing to say to that. The two of you were sat at the breakfast table, your pieces of toast left untouched.

When Tooru had told you he wanted to talk to you this morning, you hadn’t expected this.

“When do you leave?” You asked, a lump forming in your throat.

“Soon,” he sighed. “I’m just trying to work out boarding and whatnot.”

“So… you’ll leave as soon as that’s sorted out?”

“That’s the plan.”

“It’s like you’re rushing out of here,” you mumbled, picking at your nails.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” he grinned. “I’ve just got to make sure I can get ahead. The sooner I start, the better.”

You looked up at him, frowning.

He wasn’t the little boy curled up in the bathtub anymore. He’s a young man with the tenacity to form his own destiny, circumstances be damned.

This day was bound to come.

But that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

✧ ✧ ✧

A week passed. And then a month.

The year ended before you knew it. The festivities rolled on, but not without a hint of melancholy.

Each New Years celebration was tainted with the realisation that, after he left, chances were you wouldn’t see Tooru again until the same time next year.

You returned to school for the third semester and everything seemed like it was moving in fast forward.

It’s well and truly changing.

Student council swallowed you up, your family made a point of spending as much time with Tooru as they could, and life plodded on.

And before you knew it, you were standing at the airport at five in the morning, your parents to one side and Iwaizumi to the other. Your older sister, Kaori, was also there, hand-in-hand with your nephew.

For a farewell, it was quite the turn-out.

“Well,” Tooru took a deep breath, looking between the small crowd of faces in front of him. “You all better miss me.”

“Don’t push your luck, Tooru,” Kaori teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tooru tutted. “Almost sounds like you’re glad to be rid of me.”

“I am,” your nephew piped up.

“Takeru!” Your mother chided. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s fine,” Tooru grinned. “He obviously just doesn’t know what else to say.”

Takeru simply stuck his tongue out at your brother, who just laughed as he stepped forward to ruffle his hair.

Tooru turned to you, grinning. “It’s now your job to take him to volleyball practice.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Really, that’s all you’ve got to say to me?”

“Of course not!” He laughed, hopping towards you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “You be good, okay?”

“Always am,” you mumbled into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Study hard,” he hummed. “And don’t talk to boys.”

“Tooru!”

“I’m serious!”

“Don’t worry about me,” you huffed. “Worry about yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” he chuckled, pulling back. “Stop being such a worry-wort.”

You pouted at him. “Stay hydrated or I’ll kill you.”

“You know I will,” he tsked. “Which one of us is the athlete?”

“And don’t overwork yourself,” you continued, “or I’ll crawl out of the TV like Sadako and drag you back to Japan.”

“You know what?” Tooru grinned, letting you go. “I fully believe you’re capable of that.”

“Be afraid.”

He ruffled your hair; a sure signal that your conversation was over. You bit your lip as he moved over to talk to Iwaizumi. You tottered around to where your sister was, wrapping your arms around her waist – partly to give Tooru and Iwaizumi some privacy, partly to seek out some comfort.

She chuckled, standing on her tiptoes and propping her chin on the top of your head. “It’ll be okay.”

“Hm?” You blinked. “Oh, I’m not sad. Not at all.”

“You sure about that?” Kaori chuckled.

“Mhm,” you nodded. “Glad to be rid of him, actually. It’s my turn to get the biggest bedroom.”

“Sure,” she grinned. “If you need anything, don’t be afraid to text me, okay?”

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“And visit me more often!” Kaori chided. “I feel like I don’t see you enough.”

“I’m sorry,” you whined.

Kaori was right about that, at least. You’d spent the past few months focusing on Tooru, and before that, you’d been moping about Iwaizumi.

Some sister you were.

You peeked out the corner of your eye at the two boys you’d just fled from.

They were fist-bumping. Why they couldn’t just get over it and hug one another, you’d never know.

Especially seeing as this would likely be the last time they saw each other in a very long while.

Even if this was what Tooru wanted, even if this was a decision made on his own merit, something about it still felt off.

You want to be happy for him. You want to celebrate this new chance, this opportunity to make a name for himself outside of this tiny prefecture. But the melancholy wouldn’t budge; it’s like it’s rooted itself deep amongst the marrow of your ribcage.

You take a deep breath, trying to ground yourself.

You needed to be happy for him. And if you couldn’t, you needed to fake it.

“Alright,” Tooru sighed, addressing all of you as he stepped back and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. “I’m off!”

“Call us when you get there!” Your mother called after him, her eyes glassier than they were moments earlier.

“Will do,” Tooru called back, waving a hand over his head but not turning back.

“Make sure you eat well,” Kaori yelled. “Like I taught you!”

“I will, don’t worry!” Tooru called, ever more distant.

You wondered if there was anything you could shout out, anything you could implore him to do. But nothing came to mind that you hadn’t already said. But even that didn’t feel like enough.

Tooru passed through the gate, turning around to give you all one last wave.

He was so bright, so brilliant.

He always had been. But it was as if passing through that airport gate had freed him of the roots twisted around his ankles, finally allowing him to fly.

You frowned. What a stupid thought.

Once he was out of sight, your parents sighed.

“Alright, everyone,” your father yawned. “Time to go.”

You shuffled out of the airport in silence, your eyes cast to the ground. You lagged a few steps behind your family as you let your thoughts consume you.

How was this all going to work out?

It wasn’t like Tooru was just leaving for university. If it was just for education, there’d be a time frame. But he hadn’t given your family any of that.

He was just… going to Argentina. For how long, he couldn’t say. Would he be gone one year? Five? Ten?

Was that really for the best?

But he seemed optimistic. Maybe this would be the opportunity he needs. Maybe this would change everything.

“He’ll be fine.”

A voice over your shoulder made you jump. You turned to see Iwaizumi, a look of genuine concern on his face. You hadn’t even noticed him come up behind you.

“He always finds a way to land on his feet,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets.

“I know, I just…” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I’m worried about him.”

Worried about his safety, worried about his health, worried about his tendency to overwork, worried about the possibility he could be lonely, worried about his sense of self, worried—

“But, if he’d just stayed here, he’d never be satisfied.”

You paused, looking up at him. Iwaizumi was staring ahead at the early morning sky, something relaxed in his features.

“He’s got to keep pushing forward, no matter what,” he continued, looking at you. You caught your breath, but you didn’t look away. “If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for his losses.”

You stared at him for a long moment.

He was right. Iwaizumi was always right when it came to Tooru.

And you were grateful. Of course you were.

But a nugget of regret was buried deep in your heart.

Iwaizumi wasn’t worried about Tooru at all. He believed in him, trust him to go forward.

And yet you don’t feel the same. You can’t.

You can’t have the same faith in your brother because you don’t know him well enough.

Maybe you never would.

✧ ✧ ✧

More time passed.

Your holidays ebbed by in a haze, a flurry of friends, family, serious conversations about your future, and a little bit of snow.

You were trudging home in the waning afternoon after a day out with friends when you saw him. He was coming back from the opposite direction, bundled up in a jacket, with a scarf slung haphazardly around his neck and beanie pulled low over his hair.

You wondered if he’d bothered spiking it up this morning.

“Hey.” Iwaizumi raised a hand at you in some paltry greeting.

“Hi,” you nodded, slowing to a stop in front of your house.

He looked at you for a moment, something unreadable in his eyes. Admittedly, that was usually how he looked at you.  

“How are you?” It was a simple question, but you were more curious about it than you’d like to admit. The two of you hadn’t spoken since Tooru left, your interactions limited to brief nods and hellos if you ever happened to bump into each other in public. Nothing deeper than that.

“Good,” he said, finally breaking eye contact as his gaze flitted to the ground. “I, uh… I leave for uni tomorrow.”

Your heart stopped in your chest.

Iwaizumi was leaving too, huh?

Not that there was much of a friendship for you to miss. But something about him leaving really solidified it all.

Tooru had left to pursue opportunities much bigger than those offered to him in Japan, and now Iwaizumi was off on his own journey.

Your stomach swelled, a quiet nausea rattling through your body.

“Oh,” was all you managed to say. “Well, good luck.” There was a long, painful pause.

He was looking at you again, something else in his eyes. Did he want you to say something else? Ask more questions?

“You’ll do great,” is all you managed to say, a tight smile stretched across your lips.

“Thanks,” he breathed, something between a sigh and a chuckle.

You hurried through your front door, a strange anxiety prickling over your skin.

Whenever you spoke to Iwaizumi, it never felt like enough. Like there was more to say, more to admit.

But regardless of what had happened, regardless of your regrets, you had to move on.

You should’ve done so months ago.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: this is SLOPPY but please forgive me! a lot of ground to cover,,, a lot of feelings to unpack,,, 

[doyelikehaggis]

for the wip game: 2, 17, & 35?

Ahh, good choices!! So, “Sex Education Goes Camping” is... kind of exactly what it sounds like. The students of Moordale High are going on one last school trip before their school is closed down for good. Organized and supervised by Colin and Emily, of course. But there’s more than just the tension of the inevitable goodbye they’ll all have to say at the end of it; Adam and Eric haven’t talked since they broke up. Ruby is completely avoiding Otis, who feels terrible about hurting her. Maeve is leaving for America the moment they get back, and doesn’t want to make the goodbye any harder by letting Otis try and convince her to stay. Aimee and Steve have just broken up, but they’re working on being friends. 

Jackson's eyebrows furrow. Maeve frowns. Otis and Eric share another confused look, as do a lot of others.

Spreading his arms, Mr Hendricks loudly says, "You are all utterly fucked! As am I, and so is Miss Sands! Well, I mean we can obviously find other teaching jobs, but it's not exactly easy, so, technically speaking, we are all very much fucked, you're right, Jackson."

Jackson just raises an eyebrow, then looks away. Miss Sands quickly joins Mr Hendricks on the stage as the students chattering gets louder around the room.

"What Mr Hendricks means to say--" Miss Sands shoots him a quick glare as she leans into the microphone, making him take a few steps back from it (and her) "--is that it doesn't have to be all bad!"

"No offence, Miss," Ruby interrupts, "but you're not the one about to have your entire future turned to shit without your consent." 

Miss Sands nods, and says, "No, you're right. I'm only losing a job, but you are all losing the chance to finish your education comfortably -- or maybe at all. And I am... so incredibly sorry about that. I truly wish this wasn't happening to any of us. But it is. And we have to deal with that."

"We have to make the most of the time we have left together," Mr Hendricks chimes back in, taking a cautious step towards the podium. "Which is why us teachers and some of your parents/guardians have banded together to give you lot one last Moordale High experience!" 

More murmuring. Eric and Maeve are already groaning, while Otis looks cautiously hopeful. Many more of them are apprehensive, including the likes of Adam and Ola, but they're sitting up a bit straighter in their seats, waiting to find out the rest. 

They've all experienced many things at Moordale High, not all of them good, but not all of them awful, either. Some of them have been the best time of their lives, like the performance they put on just a few weeks ago to rid themselves of Hope. And some have an utter disaster like their trip to France.

Most of them are assuming it's going to be leaning more towards the latter. And it feels as though their fears are confirmed when Mr Hendricks excitedly, and dramatically, yells, "We're going camping!" 

I completely forgot I hastily named it “Uncle Shawn the Icon” for this asjkdhajksh okay so. Auggie starts experimenting with feminine clothes, something that Cory, Topanga, and Riley are more than supportive of. But, unfortunately, people at his school aren’t as supportive. When he starts acting different (like Riley in that one episode where she was being bullied), they know something is up, and Cory happens to mention it to Shawn. Uncle Shawn who, after spending that week as “Veronica” realized he actually liked presenting as a girl sometimes, and came out as genderfluid. He comes over to have a proper talk with Auggie, and let him see that it doesn’t matter what other people say about them. Bonus: Riley mentions it to her friends because she’s worried about Auggie, and most of them jump to Auggie’s defence. 

"Auggie's being bullied."

Maya blinks. Farkle sits back in his seat. Stunned into silence. Lucas is shaking his head, and Zay and Smackle share a confused glance at each other.

Then comes the eruption.

"Give me names and addresses," Maya demands, voice like sharp ice and scalding lava at the same time, retracting her hand from Riley's arm. Ready to storm out right now to track them down.

That's exactly why Riley doesn't answer her, but she does look at her like she's crazy, and she says, "Maya! They're kids!"

"I'm going to kill them, what do I care if they're twelve?"

Riley's about to tell her she should very much care, because when they were twelve, they benefited much more from being talked to rather than killed. At the same time, they never did anything even remotely like the kids bullying Auggie.

"Did he tell you why they're bullying him?" Lucas asks, sounding like he can't think of a reason why anyone would want to.

"We already had an idea, and Ava told us this morning. He wants to wear skirts. Not just that, but more feminine clothing in general." She drops her head back onto her arms. "He was so excited to wear one of my old skirts on the first day of school yesterday, and now he won't even come out of his room. I don't know how to help him because he won't talk to any of us."

"Those little b--"

"Language," Riley says flatly, not even having the heart to really care if she finishes her sentence or not. Honestly, she feels like doing it for her. "I know, Maya, I'm mad too. I just don't know what to do about it."

"Say something," Farkle says.

Riley lifts her head and turns in her seat to look at him curiously.

"Your parents could say something to the school," he suggests. "I can't guarantee it would stop them, but if we were vocal enough about it--"

"We?" Riley asks, eyebrows raising.

Farkle looks at her seriously, and says, "My dad could make the loudest noise, and I know he would do it if I asked him to. It's Auggie, Riley. Of course I'm not just going to stand by."

"Yeah, and besides, no one should be bullied for what they wear," Maya adds, throwing Farkle a small smile that he gratefully returns. Then she turns back to Riley. "Seriously, Riles, your parents should say something to the school."

Riley agrees with them. It had crossed her mind this morning, and she's sure her parents are already thinking the same thing. She looks to Lucas, Zay, and Smackle.

Without a question asked, Smackle is nodding immediately, and firmly, a look similar to Farkle's on her face.

"They're right," she says matter-of-factly. Then, with a softer note, adds, "It's unfair for them to get away with trying to stop him from expressing himself. People don't like different and it's..."

"It's wrong," Zay finishes for her. "Auggie doesn't deserve that. Going to the school about it might not help but at least it'll make some noise, right? That would do something good, make people aware that it's unfair the way he's getting treated."

Riley's heart is ready to burst from how apparant their support for Auggie is, and just how serious they are about wanting to help. She smiles at Zay, and he smiles back, reaching forward to pat her hand on the top of her chair.

Her eyes slide to Lucas. He hasn't said anything yet.

I really need to hurry up and finish “Clash of the European Boyfriends”, I feel like I’ve been writing it for years. I feel like I’ve summarised it before, but I’ll give another quick one just in case -- There’s a dinner party being hosted at the Salvatore household, set up by Stefan, Elijah, and Lexi. It was more a way of forcing Damon, Enzo, Klaus, and Stefan to get along, but also a good way to get Hope more familiar with the house for the longterm future. Some awkwardness and tension ensures because you just can’t have those four in a house together and not expect something to go wrong. I would love to be able to give a snippet for this but I’ve been rewriting it so much that I can’t decide on anything that might actually make it into the finished fic, so I’m going to skip this one if that’s okay. Hopefully I’ll actually decide where it’s going and what I’m doing with it soon. 

Thank you for sending these, I’m really having so much fun with it!! 

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers 2.V (Josh Wheeler xF!Reader)

A/N: Now that I have more time on my hands expect a whole lot more of this baby coming your way :) -Danny

Words: 2,243

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to me :)

Listen.

I'm not trying to defy my boyfriend's authority around here, can you really blame me for what I'm trying to do?

I don't get how the others aren't freaking out about this, like, those kids have eyes everywhere and now there's some freaky cult controlling them, right out of a dystopian story! Though I guess our whole situation may seem dystopian in general, I mean look at us, bunch of kids pretending to know what we're doing.

Either way, I'm just doing a quiet field trip, Nathan will come back with news of whether Sam will help or not, and we'll just look around the place... nothing more.

I don't have a death wish. I promise. Katie's death isn't weighing on me, I don't want to join her anytime soon, I'm actually quite happy, all things considered.

Then why am I here, the first hour in the morning, waiting for Nathan to come back?

Maybe I'm feeling like I have some adrenaline here that wasn't used and after going to one place and another now I can't stay still. And also because those AV kids might really need our help.

I find Nathan halfway to the school, he's not alone, Sam, Mona and Maya are with her. I groan a little at the sight of my former friend, and I can tell by her expression she wasn't expecting to see me either.

"Goodmorning, my queen," I smile at Sam, bowing a little just to make the ambience lighter.

"L/N," She bows back, her mocked solemnity making me grin in return. "Nathan has told us the issue, but only the basics. Care to tell us more?"

I tell them everything I know, I even play for them the last minutes of the newest episode, I see my worry reflected on Sam's eyes and I know I came to the right place.

"I knew Melissa," Sam said grimly. "She had the talent to see the positive things out of everything...  You have the map?"

"I memorized it."

"Cool, then let's go."

"What?" I blink. "Hold on, Sam, we can't just show up."

Sam frowns. "Why not?"

"Didn't you hear the recording? I don't know what the fuck happened there but it sounded like they were heavily armed, or at least that they are very violent."

"Well, you have a sledgehammer, Nathan has his crossbow, Mona has..." She looked over her shoulder. "Mona has herself. Maya has a pocket knife..."

"What about you?"

She shows me a taser and winks. "Think we're good to go."

"I don't know..." I bite my lip.

"Okay, here's a suggestion," Nathan starts. "Let's not fight yet? I know for a fact that Alex would kill me if you die."

"And?"

Nathan looks at me with this truly confused glance.

"I don't want you to die, Y/N."

I beam at his comment, however, Maya makes sure to ruin it right away.

"Yeah well, you haven't been around her enough lately, have you?"

"Neither have you, Maya," Sam gives her a warning look. "Y/N, we won't force you to go with us if you feel it's too risky, just tell us where to go."

"I won't let you go alone! It was my idea!" I exclaim, then pinch the bridge of my nose with a little exasperation. "Fine, we go. But we have to be quiet and we won't attack unless we really have to."

Sam and Nathan agree right away, Mona and Maya grunt and scoff, but I guess that's a yes.

We start moving then, only to stop five minutes later.

"Do you guys hear that?" I lift my hand so everyone stays quiet.

"Hear what?" asks Maya.

I hush her again, and turn to my right, recognizing the bright backpack peering from a trashcan.

"An!" I hiss in annoyance.

I quickly skate to the trashcan and lift the lid, revealing the tiny figure of Angelica looking up to me with a guilty smile.

"Surprise?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," She frowns. "Josh told you to leave it alone."

"Since when do you listen to Josh?" I scoff.

"Since I realized a bunch of nerdy weirdos aren't worth risking my tribe!" She rolled her eyes. "They're probably dead already, Y/N! We should go back to the mall!"

She whines and pulls my arm as if to trying to drag me, I snatch my arm away and glare at her.

"I can't leave more people behind, not again."

Well, maybe this is about Katie a bit.

"You think those kids will thank you?" Angelica insisted. "They're losers! As soon as they find a better place they'll squirm away to the safest cave, there's a reason why rats survive longer than heroes, Y/N."

"I swear to god, sometimes what comes out of your mouth doesn't make any fucking sense," I reply. "Go back to the mall and stay there, if Josh asks, tell him I went to the school to finish my negotiations with Sam."

"I won't lie, he'll kick me out with you!"

"He won't kick me out!"

"Why not? You think he'll stop just because you make out a few times during the week? He could easily do the same with any other girl– No offence, but if he got over Sam Dean he can get over–"

"Stop!" I say, really not looking forward to hearing the end of that sentence. "You're already in trouble by knowing where I am, so you either come with me or you get lost but choose now because we don't have time for your temper tantrums!"

Angelica stares at me with that little frown she does before taking down her backpack and grabbing her taser.

"Fine," She growls. "But you better move your annoying ass faster, you're way easy to follow even while wearing those stupid roller skates."

"I was trying to be quiet," I argue.

"Wait, she's coming too?" Mona frowns. "We can't be babysitting while we search for a cult."

"I don't need a babysitter," Angelica rolls her eyes. "I could kill you in a heartbeat if I wanted to..."

"I'd like to see you try–"

"Okay!" Sam interrupted. "Let's just... keep going..."

As we keep going Nathan and I engage in a comfortable chat, it's weird to see him again, but not as weird as with Alex, I guess that by now I'm just used to find random people from my past. I'm not trying to avoid it, I don't mind being reminded of my past now that I have things to look forward to. I'm not sure exactly what, but I know I have a future, and maybe that future lies here or somewhere else, but as long as I stay alive I have one, and that's enough.

Nathan and I kinda have the much-needed talk about the elephant in the room, how we were an almost something, surprisingly enough, there are no hard feelings coming from either of us.

'Well the wind it brought my sails to you And my course was true We talked about the lovers we had How they never followed through Oh they never follow through'

"I still regret leaving you like that though," He tells me. "It's not that I was sick of you guys, I just... I don't know, felt like I was wasting my chance somehow?"

"Your chance?"

"Yeah, I mean during high school I was just the 'nice guy', you know? After the nuke I thought I would find something else to be but I'm still the nice guy, I let you escape when you stole half of our weapons, and now I keep Maya from doing fucked up things with the tribe when she thinks no one's paying attention..."

"That's a good thing to do," I try to cheer him up.

"I wish I could be more like you," He smiled fondly at me.

"What do you mean? The artsy girl?" I snort.

"You weren't the artsy girl– I don't know, you were just... you. I never felt like you had to belong anywhere to be worth something... I'm not like that."

"Maybe I never tried to belong, but I was lonely," I sigh. "I obsessed with reading of other worlds, imagining alternate lives that my actual real-life just felt... out of place. I always felt something was missing. The only time I had the feeling that my life was going somewhere for the first time was when... when you asked me out."

Nathan smiles at me, and even though I feel a little guilty about it, I can't help but feel glad that I can witness such a breathtaking smile from so close.

'You told me how the life you lead Is a made up thing How you wish you were as interesting As half the things you read Oh as half the things you read'

"Ah, I don't know," He sighs, looking away from me. "I guess I wasn't made to be part of a tribe, I really liked my time as a loner, you know?"

"Then why did you stop?"

He smiled again. "Because I also really liked you."

I blush at his statement, but I try to remain as neutral as possible.

"Well, if I'm allowed to say it, love is a really stupid reason to quit a good life," I admit.

"What?" He laughs. "Didn't you join your tribe because of Josh?"

"Not only because of Josh!" I defend myself. "I also joined because I had a purpose, I take care of them."

"Well, but most of them can take care of themselves now, don't they?" He teased. "C'mon, the only reason why you stayed is that Josh has you wrapped around his finger."

I frown a little at that.

Nathan kinda has a point, right? Alex already has my notebook filled with first-aid treatments and indications, most of the kids now know how to fix a broken bone. Do they really need me?

"Hey, not that it's bad," He adds, nudging my arm. "If I had what you have with Josh I would stay too, you guys seem happy."

Are we happy?

'I'm a wanderer I've always been undone And the shadows cast upon my soul Are clawing from the sun'

How much of this happiness will last once we get used to each other? And how much of that happiness is what it's keeping us together right now?

Are we really done with running away from places and being alone? I said I was, Josh said he wanted to stay with me. We said we'd be together. We are together.

Angelica's words come back to me in full force: 'If he could get over Sam, what makes you think he wouldn't be able to forget about you too?'

'I'm sure it's nice to think I'm something that you need But I promise when the sun ascends you'll see that's just a dream I'll never come around'

Do I really trust in love enough as to let it build the rest of my life? My future depends on whether Josh and I stay as a couple, and out of the two of us, I'm the one who'll lose the most if we break.

I obviously enjoy my time with Josh, and I really like him... but is liking him enough reason for him to stay? Or he'll leave as soon as I push the right button?

Just like with Sam...

'I must admit that the faith I had Is fleeting fast Cause you told me how you never let go And how that keeps you in the past'

No. I won't start this again. Josh already proved himself thousands of times. He chose me, he stayed with me. More yet, he came back for me when I left.

"It's here," I say abruptly, stopping dead in my tracks.

Everyone stops behind me. Ahead of us, there's a huge mansion, not too far from where Josh's old safe place is. It looks empty, but there's a security camera that luckily isn't pointing our way. I signal the group to give a few steps back and we hide around the corner.

"Okay, we need to get closer, we need to make sure they're–"

"Psst!"

I stop and straighten in my place.

"Did someone just 'pst' at us?"

"Psst!"

"Oh shit," Nathan looks up to the window above us and quickly prepares the crossbow. "Don't move!"

"Hey hey hey, it's fine!" The girl's voice says from the second floor. "You guys need to get out of the street right now, they're going to be here soon."

"What?"

"Come in!"

"Yeah, like we're going to listen to a stranger," Maya scoffs. "How do we know you're not with them."

"I know you," She says simply, then she turns to look at me and smiles. "I know your boyfriend. I talked to him once."

"What?" I tilt my head. "You mean after the nuke or..?"

"When you left the mall, he came to see me," She adds calmly. "Come in, I won't hurt you."

Her words make something inside my head click:

"Mavis?"

Taglist.

@letsbe-queer @slythermyg​ @loving-u-3000​ @one-loud-mind

[ayellowcurtain]

could you maybe when you watched the final write an alternative ending?

could I maybe ask for some Alexia+Arthur I miss them terribly!

lola and baz hanging out, being friends, lola maybe mentioning maya

please tell us you have more ArthurxAlexia, spare some for the broken hearted that miss S5 with all their soul pls!

Arthur watches all his friends gathered around him, talking excitedly like this is not one of the last times they’ll all hang out together. Arthur would like to be more optimistic, but he’s struggles with that after this hell year.

Maybe he’s getting drunk, that’s it. When he gets drunk, he gets in the worst mood ever, remembering all the shit he did for the people he loves. And he shouldn’t be drinking this much tonight. Yann and Manon are moving across the country tomorrow, Emma is going away for her gap year and that feels like the start of the end.

Soon they’ll all leave, get their shit together and Arthur will still be stuck here, as lost as one can be.

“You okay, bro?” Baz squeezes his shoulder and Arthur looks at him, blinking a few times to be able to focus his hazy eyes and brain on his best friend right next to him, his hand still on Arthur’s shoulder.

“Fuck, yeah. Sorry, got distracted.” He smiles and hopes Baz buys it, lying his head against his best friend’s shoulder. From this new angle he can see under the long wood table, Alexia’s hands on her lap. Arthur looks around, nobody else is paying them much attention so he quietly holds her hand. Alexia looks down, at their hands now together and he looks at him.

Arthur misses her so much it’s almost disorienting.

“Stop being annoying! He’s just drunk and sad, he’s not dying.” Arthur hears Lola’s voice behind him and he looks at her direction, sitting next to Baz. He smiles at Arthur with that guilty and fond smile of his and Arthur pretends he’s too focused in other conversations to hear his with Lola.

“He’s too drunk, Lola! You’ll have to help me carry him home...”

“No way. I’m not doing that.”

“Lola!”

“No! He’s a grown ass man. If he can’t drink, I’m not the one that’ll carry him home.”

Arthur sighs, sitting up again, able to intertwine his fingers with Alexia’s now.

“I’m gonna get some water,” he thinks out loud, not sure if he’s telling that to Lola, Baz or Alexia.

This place that Eliott showed to them a few weeks back feels like a piece of them now. Le Gang, family size. The cooler with drinks is almost empty now, but Arthur manages to find a bottle of water, drinking half of it at once, hoping it’ll make him get sober quicker. It’s not how it works, but Arthur likes to pretend.

He walks around the abandoned building a little bit. It feels like the end of an era and Arthur doesn’t know how to feel about the future. Everything changed so quickly he’s still trying to make his brain stop spiraling. He loves his new place, loves being just him and his mom, redecorating his new bedroom.

If this is what he can have after everything, Arthur can also accept having Alexia just as a best friend, she’s a great (and free) interior designer. They’re still as close as they were when they were dating, they just don’t have sex or kiss. But he would be the luckiest man alive if she ever decided to give him a second chance.

“He’s here...” Lola’s voice makes him look back. She’s walking to his direction and Baz appears, smiling when he finds Arthur.

“I found you!” Baz rushes to him and hugs him from behind, resting his head against Arthur’s back. Lola walks slower and stops next to them, looking at the tall and broken building behind them.

“Alexia sent us here,” Lola says, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Arthur feels stupid that even Daphné’s little sister can tell something is going on with him and Alexia.

“Yeah...”

“Hm...so! We’re leaving. Daphné is saying goodbye to Yann and Manon, are you coming with us?”

Arthur doesn’t want to go, he wants to hang out with everyone - and especially Alexia - a little more, but he knows he should go home. Baz probably thinks that too, his best friend wouldn’t worry if Arthur went with them. His raised eyebrows and expecting and weird smiles are there, staring at Arthur. So he nods his head and Baz laughs, clearly relieved. Lola rolls her eyes, texting someone.

“You’re going home? Is Maya going there? I need to know so I can make something special for us to eat and-”

“No, I’m going to her place. Don’t wanna be there with just you and Daphné.” 

-

The sun starts overheating his body and slowly waking him up. Arthur moves to lie on his back and there’s someone on the bed. He opens his eyes and blinks a few times, finding Alexia sitting next to him, busy with her computer, looking at him and smiling.

She waits as he streches his body, getting his glasses and hearind aids, putting everything on.

“Shit, I’m sorry for last night. I got fucking shitfaced.” Arthur breathes slowly to calm his stomach as he pushes himself to sit, leaning against the headboard, remembering he went to Alexia’s place instead of his. He covers his face with both hands, his mouth so dry and bitter, still tasting like what he ate and drank yesterday. Alexia laughs and holds him by his wrist.

“It’s okay. You were funny.” She turns to the other side, grabbing something on her nightstand, turning back to him to offer a bottle of water.

“How did you sleep? Did I snore much?”

He looks at her, frowning, watching as she stops smiling suddenly. “So loud, Arthur. You’re worst than my grandpa.”

Alexia laughs and he exhales, a little more relaxed that this wast a joke. “Shut up, you liar...”

“I slept well. I feel like you steal the blankets less now that we’re...best friends.” Alexia tries to act normally, but she does sound like this is the most weird thing, which probably is. Them sharing a bed again, a small bed like Alexia’s.  

Arthur looks at Alexia, his elbow on his naked thigh, noticing that he slept with just his underwear, no jeans, and he puts his face sideways against his palm, watching her.

“I wish I could steal your blankets then. I wish we were together. I miss you so much.”

“I’m right here...”

“You know what I mean, Alex.”

“I do.” She smiles fondly, resting against the headboard, looking relaxed, not really bothered by his presence, she looks down and back at him.“...And Noée?”

Whatever happened between him and Noée finished with that first and only kiss. There was never real romantic feelings from his side, he was just extremely dumb and confused and he noticed that when it was too late already, the damage was done. They still hang out every Saturday morning and sometimes they go out to eat or something, but they don’t talk about them. Because Arthur doesn’t think they have anything else to talk about.

“She’s just a friend. Whatever I thought I felt romantically for her wasn’t...real. She’s dating a girl now too. She seems very happy.”

Alexia raises her eyebrows, very surprised and Arthur was too when she told him over a month ago, but just because she never talked about the girl before, not because he was jealous. “Oh. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah...”

Arthur stares for another minute and Alex is looking back at him too. He moves to his knees and leans forward, kissing Alexia after what feels like a lifetime.

Her hands come to his cheeks, touching him so gently. Arthur tries to go slow, to keep his hands to himself. Alexia is the one to break the kiss, resting her forehead against his, sighing.

“Can we try again? I promise I’m better...I know I don’t deserve you, but please, let me try again.”

“I still like you...we can’t control with whom we fall in love with.”

He nods his head, letting himself get hopeful.

“No, we don’t.”

[ofadan]

Final Destination AU let's go 💦

notes:  sort  of  spoilers  for  final  destination,  but  not  really?  it’s  literally  the  plot  of  the  movies.  featuring  @ircnxveils,  @addictingvictories,  @byacatalepsy,  @ofjamra,  @swtsvrndr.trigger  warnings:  death,  graphic  death,  violence,  suicide.

          they’re  on  a  cruise  —  courtesy  of  adan  —  on  the  hottest  week  of  summer.  they’re  on  route  to  croatia,  departing  from  venice,  but  as  their  fourth  day  of  the  trip  dawns  on  them,  they  spend  it  in  mykonos,  relishing  the  transparent  blue  waters  under  their  feet.  they  have  just  finished  navigating  their  way  around  the  pearly  white  buildings,  halting  every  ten  minutes  just  to  take  polaroid  pictures  of  each  other.

          there’s  one  of  victoria  sipping  from  a  coconut  through  a  swirly  straw,  then  there’s  maya  trying  on  a  strikingly  white  dress  in  the  middle  of  a  bazaar,  clearly  flirting  with  the  seller.  in  one  of  them,  adan  has  sunglasses  perched  on  top  of  the  bridge  of  his  nose  and  his  tanned  face  brings  out  the  contrast  of  his  smile  as  he’s  laughing  at  jaime,  who  is  slightly  off  the  shot.  for  once,  it  isn’t  eliza’s  scowl  that  is  captured  —  the  girl  is  beaming  during  their  late  dinner  and  there’s  haleema  right  next  to  her,  beautifully  illuminated  by  the  dim  glow  of  the  candles.  

          they  barely  make  it  in  time  —  they’re  on  board  with  only  five  minutes  to  spare,  and  all  of  them  are  sighing  in  relief.  their  laughter  resonates  in  the  halls  as  they  disperse  to  their  own  cabins,  but  adan  feels  a  cold  sweat  rolling  off  his  back,  even  though  the  air  is  humid,  and  a  terrible  feeling  begins  churning  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach.  he  drowns  it  out  with  a  cold  shower  and  a  numbing  episode  of  a  greek  show  that  he  doesn’t  even  understand  before  getting  a  message  that  they  should  all  meet  up  in  the  front  of  the  ship,  right  where  the  pool  resides  in.  they  all  chime  in  with  enthusiastic  responses  and  adan  laughs  at  maya's  selfie  of  her  already  submerged  in  the  pool,  the  crystal-clear  water  coming  up  to  the  bottom  of  her  curls.  she  certainly  never  snoozes.

          then,  the  lights  flicker  in  a  way  that  settles  a  chill  upon  his  bones,  ominous  in  its  existence  —  like  a  warning  that  shouldn’t  be  ignored.  not  that  it’d  matter  anyway  because  exactly  five  seconds  later,  the  ground  beneath  him  shakes  and  he’s  thrown  all  the  way  forward,  his  body  colliding  with  the  oakwood  wall,  which  makes  him  wince  in  pain.  once  he  composes  himself,  adan  throws  the  door  open  just  to  see  eliza  barging  out  of  the  room  at  the  same  time,  both  of  them  staring  at  each  other  in  terrified  bewilderment.  the  captain’s  voice  cracks  in  the  system,  but  he  manages  to  catch  a  word  about  a  crash  and  explosion  on  the  deck.  

          naturally,  chaos  erupts  among  the  passengers.  they’re  all  scurrying  from  one  corner  to  another,  demanding  life  jackets  in  case  of  sinking  and  safety  boats,  and  adan  can’t  blame  them.  he  tugs  victoria  inside  a  janitor’s  closet  just  as  another  explosion  sends  shattered  glass  in  their  direction,  missing  them  by  a  couple  inches.  he  hears  a  voice  booming  through  the  air  again,  warning  them  about  the  abrasive  explosions  and  blown-off  pipes.  great.  if  they’re  lucky,  the  fire  and  water  will  cancel  each  other  out,  but  adan  doesn’t  have  to  be  a  scientist  to  know  that  soon  enough,  they’ll  suffocate  in  the  rapidly  leaking  water  if  the  ceilings  don’t  get  to  them  first  because  of  the  blasts.  

          it  all  happens  so  quickly.  the  wooden  planks  crumble  under  the  force  and  one  of  the  chandeliers  spring  free  from  the  screws,  falling  right  on  top  of  eliza  as  she  tries  to  escape  the  first  floor  through  the  crowd  of  panicked  tourists.  it  pierces  right  through  her  heart  all  the  way  to  the  ground  and  as  the  light  evaporates  from  the  crystal  bulbs,  her  eyes  dim  too.

          haleema  and  jaime  come  next.  as  soon  as  they  make  it  out  to  the  main  hall,  the  glass  sculpture  in  the  middle  of  the  room  doesn’t  manage  to  withstand  the  pressure  and  tips  over,  killing  jaime  almost  instantly.  with  so  many  shards  now  engraved  into  his  body,  mutilating  him,  it’s  hard  to  even  recognize  him.  haleema  makes  the  mistake  of  peering  over  the  railing  to  check  the  ground  floor  and  the  swaying  ship  tips  her  over  the  edge,  right  above  the  fence  of  the  little  botanical  garden.  she  lands  right  on  top  of  it,  with  one  of  the  sharp  tips  peeking  out  of  her  mouth.  at  least  both  of  them  welcomed  an  instant  death.

          adan  makes  it  as  far  as  he  can,  almost  to  the  deck  where  the  waterslides  start.  unfortunately,  he’s  too  slow  —  had  he  been  a  few  seconds  faster,  he  would  have  avoided  being  crushed  by  one  of  the  slides  after  they  shake  under  the  weight  of  rusty  pillars  and  bolts.  he  splashes  all  over  the  walls  and  ground,  like  spilled  milk,  except  it’s  all  in  crimson.  although  it  all  happens  in  under  a  second,  it  feels  like  an  eternity  to  him  ;  the  moment  he  closes  his  eyes,  he  knows  something  else  is  going  to  happen,  and  when  he  opens  them  again  …

          he’s  standing  right  at  the  entrance,  with  a  boarding  pass  in  his  hand  and  maya  urging  him  to  go  forward  with  a  slight  push.  it  feels  like  his  heart  is  beating  ten  thousand  times  per  minute  as  the  staff  tries  to  take  the  ticket  from  him  to  check  it,  but  to  no  avail,  due  to  adan  gripping  it  tightly.  he’s  the  first  one  in  line,  which  means  that  all  of  his  friends  are  still  behind  him  and  not  on  board  yet,  and  he  wastes  no  time  to  turn  around  and  nudge  them  back  down  the  stairs  with  wide-spread  arms.  of  course,  there’s  a  chorus  of   ‘  what  the  fuck,  we’re  going  to  be  late  ’ and  collective  curses,  but  he  pays  them  no  mind  —  right  this  moment,  he  trusts  his  gut  feeling  more  than  anything  else.  “  guys,  we  can’t  go  on  board.  this  fucking  ship  is  going  down.  i’ve  seen  it  ——  ”  he  sounds  frantic  as  he  begins  explaining,  making  sure  to  push  his  friends  as  far  as  possible  away  from  the  cruise.  “  for  fuck’s  sake,  we’ve  all  seen  final  destination!  ”          it’s  too  late  for  them  to  change  their  mind  anyway  —  the  ship  rings  its  final  call  and  a  few  minutes  later,  the  bridge  closes,  and  it  takes  off  to  their  next  destination.  

          the  destination  being  death,  adan  thinks.  he  books  hotel  rooms  for  them  and  he  keeps  checking  his  watch  rather  anxiously.  any  minute  now,  any  minute  and  the  ship  will  crash,  and  everything  inside  will  explode,  and  everyone  will  meet  their  demise,  and  adan  will  be  right.  however,  after  another  hour  passes  by,  he  begins  thinking  that  maybe  he  overreacted  for  no  reason  (  thankfully,  there  are  plenty  of  buses  and  smaller  boats  to  take  in  order  to  get  themselves  back  on  the  cruise  if  it  survives  ),  but  when  he  leaves  the  shower,  drying  his  hair  with  a  towel,  he  sees  victoria  on  the  edge  of  their  bed,  wrapped  up  in  a  robe  and  staring  at  the  tv  screen.  this  just  in  ——  a  cruise  ship  that  was  on  the  way  to  croatia  crashed  with  another  ship  as  it  was  leaving  mykonos.  dispatchers  are  on  the  scene  already  and  trying  to  rescue  people  from  the  sinking  ship.  for  now,  the  number  of  survivors  is  unknown,  but  from  the  looks  of  it,  there  have  been  a  lot  of  fatal  injuries.

           adan  tunes  out  the  rest  of  it.  there’s  no  need  to  listen  ;  he  already  knows  what  happened.  everyone  in  his  premonition  just  died  …  everyone  except  for  them.  so,  that’s  how  it’s  going  to  be?  they’re  going  to  go  out  one  by  one,  according  to  some  fucked  up  order  —  final  destination  style.  still,  adan  is  hopeful.  it’s  just  a  movie,  there  are  no  strange  supernatural  forces  that  would  design  their  lives  and  deaths  in  such  a  twisted  way.  they  will  live.

          “  okay,  ”  he  starts  once  everyone  is  seated  at  their  dinner  table  in  the  hotel’s  restaurant,  forks  hanging  off  their  plates.  it’s  pasta  night,  but  apparently,  no  one  is  that  hungry.  except  thirsty  ——  everyone  has  downed  at  least  their  second  glass  of  wine.  “  listen,  guys.  if  this  is  actually  what  we  think  it  is,  we  need  to  save  ourselves  some  time  before  we  figure  out  how  to  cheat  this  entirely.  maybe  if  we  keep  intervening  …  i’ve  read  a  reddit  thread,  i  have  some  ideas.  ”  he’s  aware  that  there’s  no  cheating  death  and  they  can’t  avoid  this  like  clear  did  because  truth  be  told,  he  would  rather  die  than  suffer  in  a  psychiatric  ward  with  no  social  interaction,  but  something  has  to  be  tried.  someone  says  something  about  killing  tony  todd  if  he  shows  up  to  solve  this  and  it  brightens  up  the  mood  a  little.  “  the  order  probably  goes  like  this:  eliza,  jaime,  haleema,  maya,  victoria,  and  me.  according  to  the  order  of  our  cabins  at  least.  ”

          they  decide  that  this  won’t  let  them  stop  from  enjoying  their  trip.  if  their  days  are  truly  numbered,  they  might  as  well  have  fun  before  going  out  with  a  bang.  maya  and  eliza  decide  to  go  for  a  swim  while  victoria,  adan,  haleema  and  jaime  are  in  their  seats,  sharing  a two-liter cocktail  among  themselves.  they  quietly  discuss  the  premonition  after  jaime  asks  him  to  start  from  the  beginning.

           “  wait,  ”  victoria  interrupts  him,  seemingly  lost  in  thought.  “  you  said  the  front  of  the  ship  crashed  into  the  other,  right?  ”  adan  hums  out  a  yes,  turning  his  head  to  find  the  red-head,  keeping  an  eye  on  her.  if  they’re  right,  at  any  possible  moment  she  might  get  sucked  into  the  depths  of  the  sea  by  a  massive  spiral.  “  and  if  the  pool  is  there,  it  means  that  ——  ”

          shit.  all  of  them  shift  their  gazes  immediately  and  a  shriek  follows.  fuck,  it  wasn’t  eliza’s  turn  —  it  was  maya’s.  they  soon  find  out  that  she’s  been  stung  by  one  of  the  most  venomous  jellyfish  and  the  dose  was  so  strong  that  it  induced  an  immediate  cardiac  arrest.  she  dies  before  the  ambulance  arrives.

          maya  marceli,  time  of  death:  3:49  pm.  cause  of  death:  cardiac  arrest.

          they  don’t  get  enough  time  and  rest  to  mourn  her.  even  though  they  try  to  avoid  obvious  traps  and  scenarios,  death  is  always  one  step  ahead.  it’s  loud  and  crowded  in  the  club  —  so  many  shades  of  purple  neon  are  swirling  in  adan’s  eyes  and  he’s  too  drunk  to  even  walk.  he  hears  shouts  coming  from  the  vip  section  and  he�� recognizes  eliza’s  voice  in  the  sea  of  distorted  sounds,  and  he  hurries  to  her  before  something  terrible  can  happen.  maybe  this  time,  he  will  be  able  to  intervene.  except  he’s  not  because  a  fight  breaks  out  and  as  hard  as  they  try  to  break  it  up,  it  ends  only  when  a  broken  champagne  bottle  is  twisted  deep  inside  her,  most  likely  mangling  her  organs.  they  keep  the  criminal  hostage  before  the  police  gets  there  and  they  spend  the  entire  night  in  interrogation.  all  adan  can  think  about  is  the  light  leaving  eliza’s  eyes,  just  like  in  the  premonition,  and  the  fact  that  all  of  their  deaths  are  inevitable.

          eliza  cerrato,  time  of  death:  4:07  am.  cause  of  death:  bleeding  out. 

          death  skips  jaime  for  the  time  being.  

          a  bus  full  of  tourists  comes  out  of  nowhere  when  they’re  hiking  and  haleema  manages  to  get  jaime  out  of  the  way  before  it  can  get  to  him  (  it’s  not  her  time  to  die  —  they  know  she’ll  be  fine  when  she  surges  forward  to  push  him  ).  the  driver  steers  the  vehicle  away,  but  it  dives  off  the  cliff  anyway,  resulting  in  death  of  at  least  twenty  people.  as  adan  begins  losing  count  of  zipped  up  bodies  getting  inside  the  ambulances,  he  realizes  something:  is  this  considered  murder?  maybe  by  saving  jaime,  they  took  away  innocent  people’s  lives,  thus  they  were  crossed  off  the  death’s  list?  they  wait  with  baited  breath.  two  days  pass  by  with  no  casualties  …  the  calm  before  the  storm.

          it’s  two  in  the  morning  when  he  smells  smoke.  the  hotel  is  on  fire.  adan  doesn’t  think  as  he  jumps  from  his  bed,  almost  naked,  and  peels  the  door  open.  he  gets  a  flashback  —  crashing  noises  and  screaming  people,  feeling  like  he’s  tilting  —  but  instead  of  eliza  staring  back  at  him,  it’s  jaime.  there’s  no  room  for  spoken  communication  as  they  both  sprint  to  haleema’s  room  only  to  find  two  bodies  burnt  to  a  crisp.  he  doesn’t  recognize  the  other  person,  but by  the  looks  of  their  …  very  naked  bodies,  he  puts  two  and  two  together.  at  least  they  went  out  with  an  actual  bang,  just  like  all  of  them  had  wanted.  they’re  told  there  will  be  an  investigation.  looks  like  the  bus  crashing  was  all  according  to  death’s  design  anyway.

          haleema  kanaan,  time  of  death:  2:16  am.  cause  of  death:  burnt  alive.

          it’s  victoria’s  turn  and  adan  goes  more  mad  each  day.  he’s  frantically  trying  to  look  for  ways  to  save  them,  but  all  of  the  answers  keep  slipping  from  his  fingers  —  deep  down,  he  knows  that  there  really  is  no  cheating  death,  but  he  needs  a  faux  sense  of  security  to  give  him  peace.  he  keeps  researching  and  there  it  is  ;  a  glimmer  of  hope.  maybe  he  won’t  live,  but  it  will  save  them.

           “  adan,  what  are  you  doing?  get  down.  ”  he  ignores  it.  on  the  contrary,  it  prompts  him  to  take  another  step  closer  to  the  ledge.  will  this  work?  he’s  not  certain,  but  at  least  all  of  this  will  be  over  for  him.  call  him  selfish,  but  he  would  rather  not  watch  any  more  of  his  friends  die  right  in  front  of  his  eyes.  

           “  i’m  the  last  one  on  the  list,  right?  so  —  ”  he  turns  around  to  face  victoria  and  adan,  wincing  at  the  wind  tousling  his  hair  and  neglecting  to  acknowledge  the  terrified  faces  of  strangers  behind  them.  he  vaguely  hears  them  whispering  to  their  phones,  but  everything  in  his  head  is  buzzing  and  there’s  blood  rushing  to  his  head,  and  he’s  going  absolutely  crazy,  and  he  just  wants  to  die.  “  if  i  kill  myself  right  now,  the  order  will  be  messed  up.  ”  the  breeze  hits  him  a  little  harder  this  time  and  he  sways,  to  which  his  friends  respond  by  attempting  to  reach  out  for  him.  “  it  makes  sense!  if  i  die  out  of  my  turn,  we  beat  death!  you  guys  get  to  survive!  ”  he  takes  another  step.  “  if  not,  maybe  it  will  give  you  some  more  time.  hey,  you  can  make  a  baby  together.  new  life  defeats  death,  right?  ”  he  laughs,  almost  maniacally.  then,  he  stills,  going  quiet.

          “  we  should  have  stayed,  ”  he  speaks  up  again,  “  on  the  cruise.  we  would  have  all  died  at  the  same  time,  we  wouldn’t  suffer.  it’s  my  fault  —  ”  he  looks  up,  his  eyes  boring  into  jaime  and  victoria’s.  he  takes  a  final  step.  “  —  and  i’m  going  to  fix  it.  ”

        adan  garza,  time  of  death: 12:20  pm.  cause  of  death:  suicide.

         except  …  he  isn’t  the  last  one.  victoria  is.  in  the  premonition,  they  part  ways  somewhere  in  between  jaime  and  haleema’s  deaths,  therefore,  there’s  no  knowing  when  victoria  dies  as  the  cabin  numbers  don’t  entirely  indicate  their  order.  in  reality,  she  would  have  been  impaled  by  another  ship’s  pole  while  trying  to  jump  out  of  the  cruise  to  save  herself  from  sinking,  a  few  minutes  after  adan’s  death.  which  brings  to  the  conclusion  that  there’s  also  no  way  of  knowing  whether  his  theory  is  true  ——  after  all,  the  man  dies  following  the  death’s  list.

          death  takes  away  the  rest  too.  their  fate  is  inevitable.  somewhere,  far  far  away,  zain  and  al  are  shaking  their  heads  at  them.

          victoria  villalobos,  time  of  death:  9:14 pm.  cause  of  death:  plane  crash.

          james  kaplan,  time  of  death:  9:16  pm.  cause  of  death:  plane  crash.

[somerandomwriter1234]

Riley and Maya: Complicated Parenthood - Chapter 8 (New Good Days)

Summary: As the final three chapters of the series begin, Riley and Maya who are completely back together again finally have to now fully move forward with their lives now after the loss of their daughter. However the two learn through helping others that they are indeed allowed to have “new good days”.

Scene 1:

-In the before and after care auditorium, Maya and Grace sat in front of each other at a table while working on an art project together.

Grace: That is so awesome that your wife is getting better Miss Maya. Is she gonna get out of the hospital and come home today?

Maya: Well, not today. When people come out of a coma they don't just get up and start walking around. But with that being said… the doctors have told me that Riley's condition has improved faster than anything they've seen before… and she may be up and about pretty soon. It's all one amazing miracle really.

Grace: That is so nice. I'm so happy for you Miss Maya.

Maya: Well let's not make everything about me right now. How was your weekend Grace?

Grace: It was nice. I read stories to the little kids at the orphanage for six hours straight.

Maya: Six hours? Wow. That's pretty impressive. I bet all of those leaders where you live really appreciate your help.

Grace: Well I know Ms. Wilson does. I don't really know any of the other people that work there.

Maya: How could you not know any of the other people that work where you live?

Grace: It's just a bunch of different volunteers every day. Ms. Wilson is the only person that's there all of the time. Most days she only has one or two helper adults.

Maya: One or two helpers? For all of those kids!?

Scene 2:

-In a hospital room, Riley was sitting up in her bed while Maya was taping a picture to the wall near the bed. As Riley watched Maya tape the picture to the wall, she made a small smile.

Riley: You know Maya, you don't have to decorate every square inch of the walls in here with these amazing drawings. I should be getting out soon.

-Maya then finished taping the picture to the wall and then sat in a chair facing Riley.

Maya: But my students had heard about how you were doing and just really wanted your room to look nice.

Riley: When you say students, are you sure you're not referring to just one particular student who I know has done every single drawing in here?

Maya: Uh… what makes you say that Riley?

Riley: The art style in every picture is similar, the way the coloring strokes match up… the fact that I see the name Grace in the corner of every picture.

Maya: Oh. I guess that would give it away.

Riley: She's a really nice girl to give me these pictures. But she can't be giving me all of these pictures just from what she's heard about me. She must've done this because she adores you a great deal. Why don't you talk more about her?

Maya: Oh… because, I… didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I didn't want you to feel weird with me talking on and on about some other woman and…

-Riley began to laugh and then spoke.

Riley: You are too cute. Yet another reason why I'm glad I married you. Maya, I am not jealous about you spending so much of your time to make the life of a little girl a little better. During the entire time I was in that coma, it was the kind of thing I wanted you to do. And… it's what I know Erika would've wanted you to do.

-Riley looked downwards with a sad face for a moment as Maya noticed.

Maya: Are you going to be okay Riley?

-Riley then lifted her head up and looked right at Maya.

Riley: I'm never going to be completely okay ever again Maya. But that doesn't mean I won't stop loving those around me. Just like you haven't stopped with those amazing kids you've come to know. And if it's ever possible, I'd like to meet this amazing Grace and the other children you've gotten to know, and if I can: do something nice for them too.

Maya: Well… there is. You remember how before and after care now takes care of a bunch of kids from the local orphanage?

Riley: Yeah, I remember setting that arrangement up. I'm glad it's worked out.

Maya: Well Grace is one of those kids. And she was just telling me recently how there's barely any adult help there. I checked with the woman in charge: Ms. Wilson and she confirmed that. Their funding is incredibly low and with barely any help to take care of the children, they've had no way to let more people in the community at large know about these many kids who need help and need families. And to help them out with their needs, they require your help Riley.

Riley: And what kind of help can I give?

Maya: You were able to set up a grant from the county to get those kids into the before and after care program. So use your connections and skills to get some kind of bigger grant to help out the orphanage as a whole. Get them more workers, and more connections to people that can find those kids some parents or at least some kind of good foster care arrangements.

Riley: Maya, I can't just start bossing around government leaders and tell them where to send their money.

Maya: Come on Riley… who can say no to a woman who just came out of a coma with a dream to improve the world?

Riley: I… I… I think you're starting to turn into one of the most influential people I know Maya. Okay… I'll do what I can. But if I make this happen, we don't just give these children more money and resources. I want us to give those children a chance to feel like children.

Maya: Sounds good to me.

Scene 3:

-In a large room at the orphanage, many children of different ages were sitting together as Ms. Wilson stood in front of them.

Ms. Wilson: I have some wonderful news children. We have two new volunteers that promise that they'll be here to help us every weekend from now on. Let me introduce you to them now.

-From a doorway, Maya then walked into the room with Riley. From the crowd of children, Grace jumped up.

Grace: Miss Maya!

-Grace then ran over to Maya and gave her a hug. Maya hugged Grace back.

Maya: Hey Grace. Good to see you.

Grace: I usually never see you on the weekend. This is so awesome!

-Maya smiled as she then looked at all of the other children.

Maya: And hello to all of my other friends here I recognize from before and after care. For those that don't know me, yes: my name is Miss Maya. And this is my wife Riley.

Riley: Nice to meet you all. We'll be here every Saturday and Sunday afternoon from now on. And today, we actually brought you all some nice presents.

Maya: We were able to get our hands on a bunch of new sports equipment, and overnight we were able to install a brand new basketball hoop in your yard. It's all outside right now if you're ready to play some games.

Riley: And for those that aren't the biggest sport players, we also have a ton of new books for you all to read.

Maya: All right. If you're ready and wanna play outside, follow me!

-Maya then began to head outside as many of the children began to follow her. Riley meanwhile took out a bag full of many books and put them on the ground. Many of the other children began to crowd around the books as Grace stood near Riley. Riley then looked at Grace and motioned to her to come closer.

Riley: Hi Grace. Maya has told me a lot of good things about you. Thank you for all of those pictures you made for me while I was in the hospital.

Grace: Oh. You're welcome.

Riley: By the way, there's some new art supplies in the back pack behind me. You can grab whatever you want. Just make you share some of them, okay?

-Grace then looked in the backpack hanging on the floor and her eyes lit up with excitement as she saw the art supplies in the bag. Out of excitement Grace immediately hugged Riley.

Grace: Thank you Miss Riley! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

-Riley smiled as she hugged Grace back.

Riley: You're welcome Grace.

Scene 4:

-Maya was standing in the kitchen of her home as she hung a drawing on the refrigerator. The drawing was a picture of herself and Grace standing together near a basketball hoop. From nearby, Riley walked into the room and sat down near Maya.

Riley: How was your day?

-Maya turned to look right at Riley as she smiled.

Maya: Good.

Riley: So I see we have yet another picture for our refrigerator. Or should I now call it the Grace Givens Movable Wall of Art?

Maya: Oh? Well at least I didn't take all of the socks out of the drawer and turn that into an art collection depository.

Riley: Well I had to after you re-purposed my filing cabinet.

-Maya and Riley both began to laugh but after a moment of laughter they immediately stopped. Maya suddenly sat in a chair facing Riley as Riley began to speak.

Riley: Was that the first time we've laughed together since…

Maya: Yeah. It was.

Riley: Are… are we allowed to enjoy life like that again?

Maya: Well… yeah. I… I think she would want us to.

Riley: Maya, I… I don't ever want to forget the good days we had with Erika but… as much as I wish she could've had more with us… I don't want to let that stop us from having new good days with each other.

Maya: Riley… no matter what kind of day we have, I'm glad I get to still share more with you.

-Tears began to come out of Maya and Riley's eyes as they hugged each other, while the day came to a close.

END OF CHAPTER 8

Upcoming Chapters For the Series:

-Chapter 9: Happy Mother's Day (Coming 5/11)

-Chapter 10: Finally Home (Coming 5/13)

[ventingblacklist]

4x4  Gaia “I thought I could make it better, that I could protect my baby. I mean, that’s my one job…to protect my child.”

Gaia is sick. Living in the woods. Calls his wife and kid and tells them to leave town, cuz he has a new target.

He takes out a mechanic so he can take his place and steal a helicopter later. 

Liz is going through some of the papers on Kirk when her laptop chirps. Kirk is calling. Kirk: Hello, Masha. I know it’s late, but I wanted to speak to you alone. Liz: Where is she?

Kirk: I never wanted you to be apart from her. Liz: Where’s my daughter?! Kirk: Right here, safe.

“If you so much as… If you hurt her…”

“I know the truth. The only reason you came for me… you think we can cure you, that our blood can…”

Kirk: Yes, the blood is what I need, but it’s not what I want. What I want is for us to be together, but that can’t happen until Reddington’s out of your life. Only you can make that happen.

“I see you’re wearing your mother’s bracelet. I’m glad.”

“I want you to know that your baby is safe. This link is open day or night any time you want to see Agnes.” Tom later discusses the link with Liz. He wants to trace it to get Agnes back. Liz is like, it wouldn’t work, he’s anticipated that.

“If he hurts her, he loses me....What does Kirk want more than anything in the world? For me to trust him… to care for him. And because it’s what he desires most, it’s the easiest way to deceive him.

“He’ll see what he wants to see… my affection. He won’t see what’s real… my deception. This link is an opportunity for me to get close to Kirk. And I can’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

Tom: Liz, I think you’re being naive. Liz: I know you think that. And I’m asking you to trust me.

I kind of agree with Liz on this one. Not just about the link tracing, but the being able to see her thing. Red called it unbelievably cruel. Keeping the kid away, but having that link open. Which, I guess. 

I don't have kids so there are some things I'm not going to get, but if I was worried for my kid's well-being, I'd rather be able to see them than not. If I can't get to them at the moment, at least I know they're okay. Drive me nuts, otherwise. Especially in the wake of blood talk. Liz is hoping to use this to get to Kirk. Not in the tracing way, but in the gaining his trust way. She wants to use it. 

Kirk isn’t happy about keeping Liz and Agnes apart, but he doesn't want Red near Agnes any more than Red wants Kirk near Agnes.

I think of parallels a lot, and Agnes might be a replay not just for Kaplan, but for Kirk. Red is not going to get his hooks in another one. He took Kirk’s daughter; he will not have his granddaughter.

Agnes is motivation for Kaplan as well. It's too late, she's already failed Liz, but she could still save Agnes. 

Kirk here, and Kaplan later, want Reddington out of the picture.

Kirk wants Liz to reject Reddington, later tries to kill Reddington. Talks on his death bed of Liz taking his fortune and getting away from Reddington.

Kirk lets it go after the whisper; lets her go when it’s confirmed beyond doubt that Liz is not his child.

Kaplan never lets it go. To the end, she's trying to get Liz to walk away. 

Liz might see this same motivation going forward into season six. Her life is a giant mess, but maybe she can clean it up for Agnes. Agnes’ father is already gone. And she’s away from her mother for a long time. But maybe Liz can stop things from deteriorating further. 

Liz meets with Red. He tells her about Gaia. 

After Liz briefs the task force, Aram grabs Samar and says sorry for not being able to talk, but they can grab lunch, and Samar is like, it's okay, I figured it out. I’m transferring.

Samar is going to be a bit snippy today as she's all hurt in general. First Liz, now Aram. Ressler grabs her after another Gaia briefing. Ressler: Aram told me you put in for a transfer. Navabi, trust me, I understand how angry you are with Keen for doing what she did…

Samar: Yes, and that is part of why I’m leaving, but it’s not just that. It… It’s this place. You never know where you stand with anyone… whether they’ll be there for you when you need them.

Ressler: If there’s anything I can do to get you to reconsider, you let me know. I’ll do it. You’re a good partner.

Samar: I wish there was. I really do.

Aw, look at them all friends now. 

Gaia takes out an energy company guy so he can take his place and sabotage a pipeline. Or something. Kaplan wakes up in hunter guy's cabin. 

Kirk gets a transfusion and some bad news from his doc. His  body is starting to reject the transfusions. Six months to live, maybe less. Odette: There is a solution. Kirk: We’ve already discussed this. Reifler: It’s unacceptable. Odette: Easy for you to say. You’re not the one that’s gonna die. Kirk: No, I am, and I agree with Sebastian.

Kirk: We’re exploring other cures. Odette: We were. Before we lost the Ribowski virus, before the U.S. government froze your assets.

Reifler: If the girl is a genetic match, and there’s no guarantee that she is, extracting stem cells from such a young child is extremely dangerous and could prove fatal.

Odette: ....We are out of time, and we are out of resources. The only way to save your life is if we put that child’s in jeopardy. Odette is clearly jealous of Kirk's fun new obsession. Doesn't give a crap about Liz or the kid. What a fun new stepmom Liz has acquired. 

She also seems to actually care about Kirk. Even though he’s clearly still in love with his dead spy wife.

Ressler and Samar run after Gaia. He gets away. But they nab a fake id he used to get into the faciliity. 

Red takes the id to Glen at a bowling alley to find out who made it. 

Glen calls in a guy. The guy gives them Gaia’s address. 

Red and Liz go out to Gaia's school bus.

"Photo of a pregnant woman. But no child. Maybe the child was taken or… or died....”

“We’re going to get her back, Lizzy.”

Gaia bursts into his ex-wife's house to tell her to get out of the state. We see that his kid is disfigured.

Tom meets with an old colleague to trace the signal and get Agnes back. Aram informs the task force that Gaia's strike on a pipeline will include a nuclear facility in its blast radius. It's gonna be bad. 

Night falls. Tom and his little troop prepare to raid the house. 

Liz is sitting in the post office working. She opens the video feed and calls Tom.

Liz: I’m looking at our little girl. It’s almost like a baby monitor, like she’s in the next room. Tom: Only she’s not. Kirk has her. Liz: I know. I asked you this morning to trust me, not to trace the link. I want you to know it means everything to me that you are okay with that. Thank you. Tom: Everything’s gonna be all right, Liz. Blow her a kiss for me.

Liz sings Agnes a lullaby while Tom and company raid the place where the servers are, but not where Kirk is.

It’s a setup. A place full of cameras so Kirk can see if she violates his trust. And she did. Or, he thinks she did. 

Kirk: I thought we had an understanding. Liz: About what? What are you talking about? Kirk: You traced this feed.

“No. No, I didn’t. There must be some mistake.”

Liz: ...Wait. That had nothing to do with me. Kirk: I’m sorry, Masha. Liz: No, I told Tom. I specifically said…

"No! Please bring her back! I’m begging you! Bring her back!”

Liz has spent like five minutes with her kid since she was born. She's frantic. Desperate to at least see her. Can't do that anymore. 

Tom and Liz both trying to get the kid back in their own way. Tom not telling her things. Liz blows up at him at the end of the episode. Perfectly natural fight, I just hate that they patch it up in like two seconds.

Liz all forgiving him, saying that if his family was the reason they were in danger... um. Actually, his family is involved too. Scottie, you may have heard of her, hired Solomon who sent you on a car chase that almost killed Agnes in utero. But Tom hasn't told you that.

Super happy couple. They never talk about anything apparently, but they really like getting married.

Red goes to see Glen. Shows him the picture of the pregnant woman they found in Gaia's bus. Glen screws with him before agreeing to help.

Hunter helps Kate sit up and feeds her. Asks if the people who did this to her are coming back. She says no and thanks him. 

The task force finds out who Gaia is. Ressler and Samar go to the helicopter place and just miss him. "I’m a dead man walking thanks to Fukushima. It poisoned my innocent unborn son into someone people look at as if he’s a monster! Now, whoever dies from this, they’ve got it coming." Fun fact: from what I can find, nobody actually died from radiation poisoning following Fukushima. People died from evacuation, displacement. The earthquake and tsunami. I'm not entirely sure how this was supposed to poison his unborn son? Apparently his helicopter was flown into an unscheduled radiation venting. How does that...? Did his wife fly into it too? Does radiation poisoning get passed on? Like, genetically? Seems unlikely. Whatever. 

Anyway, they can't scramble fighters or shut down the pipeline fast enough. But Aram hacks into the helicopter and can shut the rotor down. But he freezes. 

“If I click on this, he’ll die. I’ve killed somebody once. I can’t take another life again.” Cooper hits the key like it's no big thing. Glad they were in the office instead of Aram alone in the back of a van or something. 

Thank goodness all this happened or Gaia would have killed millions of people, probably. One good thing came out of the running/kidnapping.

Red meets with Maya (Gaia’s wife) in a diner. Needs her to contact her kid's doctor, who, incidentally, is also Kirk's doctor. 

“My name is Raymond. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Skyler.”

Aw. 

“They live in a delightful space somewhere between dreams and reality. They taste color, hear shapes, see sounds. We should all have such special needs.”

"There is a child. Her life hangs in the balance. I believe Skyler’s doctor could save her.”

It's interesting that they go with a special needs child's doctor, when they could have gone with an adult's doctor, to save the child, Agnes. As there's talk of doing a risky stem cell procedure on her. I think perhaps the writers left the door open to have something happen to Agnes and didn't walk through it.   Aram comes in all chipper. Samar shuts that right down. “You made the wrong call today.”

She’s not wrong.

Liz: We talked about this! We agreed!

Tom: Yeah, on how you felt. I told you I disagreed.

Liz: What you didn’t tell me was that you were gonna do something about it. Instead, you went behind my back and did exactly what I told you not to do.

Tom: ...I’m not gonna fight with you about this, Liz! I did what I thought was best! And nobody is sorrier than me that it didn’t work!

Liz: Oh, no. I know someone who’s sorrier. Our daughter… who now, because of you, is God knows where. ...She's probably in the same spot, actually. You just can't see her now. And I doubt she even notices this is happening.

Reifler is taken at the end of this ep, after his house call. He’ll tell Liz that Kirk moves Agnes around anyway to keep Reddington from finding her. 

There’s a deleted scene that fits in somewhere of Liz staring at her cellphone, willing the video link to reappear. 

Meanwhile, the evil stepmother encourages Kirk to take the risk. 

"I know you don’t want to. But you need to use the child.”

They really play up Kirk using her. And then never tell us for sure whether or not he used her. Lovely high stakes to nowhere. 

At this point, I don’t think he did. He’s still got six months or so at this juncture. Well, maybe less. But he’s fine at the moment. I don’t think he’d use Agnes until it got super desperate. And she wouldn’t be a match to him anyway, apparently.   

Red meets with Liz in his car. Tells her what it was all about, getting Skylar's doctor. “Owen Ayers and his son Skyler share a rare blood disorder. But Dr. Sebastian Reifler is one with a particularly relevant distinction. He treats both Skyler Ayers and Alexander Kirk. If we can get to his doctor, we can get to Kirk. We’re getting close, Lizzy.”

"I lied to you. You asked if Kirk had reached out, and I told you he hadn’t. That wasn’t true. He set up a link… a video feed so I could see Agnes.”

“How incredibly cruel.”

“Tom tried to trace the link, tried to find Agnes, but Kirk found out, and now, uh…”

“She’s gone.”

“I thought I could make it better, that I could protect my baby. I mean, that’s my one job… to protect my child. Make her feel safe at any cost.”

“To hold her. To tell her everything’s gonna be okay. But now because of me, because of what I’ve done, I can’t even do that.”

♪ How does this happen to us all? ♪

I include those lyrics cuz yeah. I haven't seen such a glaring parallel since Red and Liz sitting over the harbormaster's daughter. 

Red is angry at Liz at the start of Miles McGrath. He's still stand offish in Gaia, though not as much after spilling the blood news to Liz at the end of McGrath. There's still distance between them, but he can't sit there and see that pain without having a reaction.  Red snatches the doc.

Kaplan wakes up with a chain around her ankle.

[fairskyabove]

What's wrong with the edmonton version of hadestown?

i have a Lot to say so i’m putting a full list of all the changes under the cut but tl;dr: a lot of the most important moments of the show are different and it’s really unclear what the messages of the show even are now, and it’s honestly hard to imagine this version going anywhere near broadway

first a note about the cast. this is of course subject to opinion (and i’m only going on audio, i have no idea if the staging and visual acting would change my opinion at all), but i thought this cast was overall weaker than the nytw cast. tv and reeve didn’t seem to have much chemistry, and both were weaker than nabiyah and damon vocally. kingsley as hermes is very different, his voice doesn’t have the same raspy quality and doesn’t seem to carry the same weight as the narrator, it doesn’t feel like he has the same knowledge of the direction of the story. i like the expanded chorus and hades’s workers, and i like the new fates. amber and patrick seem like they’re pretty much carrying the show, they have amazing chemistry and both are really strong vocally. it’s definitely possible that the cast got more comfortable after this audio, since all i’ve heard is the second preview, but from what i did hear the nytw cast was much stronger.

this list is really long but i’m sure i missed some stuff, so this isn’t like Officially all the changes. also if you don’t read the whole thing i understand bc it’s a lot but the most important part is the part about promises so i would look at that if i were you! also a lot of this discussion came from conversation with maya @davey-jacobsofficial so this is not all my own thoughts! ok here’s a (mostly) comprehensive list of things that were changed:

a shortened and slightly changed version any way the wind blows was moved to after road to hell, which is a little jarring in the flow of the story. i liked any way the wind blows as a sort of prologue, setting the mood before we get into the story. it established the fates as having knowledge and control, and it felt a little dream-like before we got thrown into meeting the characters. it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me to move it after but anyways

road to hell:

some minor lyric changes in the beginning

hermes introduces orpheus and eurydice differently (orpheus is described as singing to himself on the tracks waiting for someone like eurydice)

any way the wind blows:

there’s a man singing with the fates on some lines, i’m not sure who it is or what the point is (might be orpheus, and the intent might be more clear with visuals)

sister’s gone/brother’s gone verse is changed to “wind comes up, ooh do you hear that sound? wind comes up, move to another town”

hermes comes in after this verse and narrates, he explains eurydice’s character a little and there’s a new part where she asks if anyone has a match and then grabs something from someone, probably meant to show us that she can fend for herself and add a litttle context for all i’ve ever known

come home with me:

initial dialogue is different, eurydice seems more aggressive/closed off, orpheus asks her to make a home right there, she says it’s in the middle of nowhere. he claims spring is coming any day, she says it’s late, they go into “a singer, is that what you are?” and then into the song normally

lyrics from there on are almost the same, a few words changed every once in a while

epic i is completely cut, which i don’t understand at all because it’s kind of important for people who don’t know persephone’s story, and makes the epics less of a recurring thing through the whole story, and it ruins the element of orpheus singing about persephone and hades each separately and then finally together in epic iii

livin’ it up on top:

nothing is changed except the last line of orpheus’s toast, which is changed to “to the world we dream about, and the one we live in now,” which kind of changes his whole world view. in the old version, he showed his idealism, believing they could live in a perfect world that they dream of, which fits with his act 1 characterization. in this version he’s just stating that they don’t live in the world they want to, there’s no optimism and it takes away the whole significance of his toast

all i’ve ever known

no changes

way down hadestown

no changes

wind theme

some new dialogue where eurydice sees everyone else leaving and wants to do the same, orpheus doesn’t want to leave his home, and says it’s her home too. short reprise of the “wind comes up” section from any way the wind blows

epic ii

no changes

chant

added line for eurydice before “all the pretty songs you sing ain’t gonna shelter us” where she is getting caught in the storm, singing about the wind surrounding her and how orpheus promised the wind would never change which would be great build up for promises if they hadn’t ruined it

small lyric change in between verses, orpheus sings “a mighty king, a mighty queen” and hermes sings “this year their fighting made/the mightiest storm you’ve ever seen”

after the next verse eurydice sings “love, can you hear me now/answer if you can somehow/orpheus in all my years/never seen a storm like this” and then back into the normal “now i see/all the pretty songs you sing ain’t gonna harbor me…”

right after that hermes sings “eurydice was a hungry young girl/she was no stranger to the wind/but she had not seen nothing/like the mighty storm she got caught in. only took a minute/but the wrath of the gods was in it”

persephone’s verse after this has some lyric changes, mostly talking about how she doesn’t recognize hades anymore as the man she married

hey, little songbird

a couple words changed here and there, hades’s last part is changed to “hey, little songbird, look all around you/see how the vipers and vultures surround you/they’ll take you down/they’ll pick you clean/if you stick around such a desperate scene/see, people get mean/when the chips are down”

when the chips are down

no changes

gone, i’m gone

no changes

wait for me

no changes

why we build the wall

tempo is slightly faster, not sure why

the larger chorus sounds good, it’s more powerful

no lyric changes

our lady of the underground

no changes. thank god for amber gray

way down hadestown ii

no changes

flowers

no changes and honestly i’m surprised they didn’t screw this up too

come home with me ii

they cut “are you always this confident?/when i look at you i am” which was significant wrt doubt comes in and the fact that orpheus loses his confidence because he can’t see eurydice (creds to maya on this one)

papers

no changes

nothing changes

no changes

if it’s true

added a section where hades’s workers repeat orpheus’s message, then orpheus directly addresses the workers like a rebel leader with some added lyrics (i actually like this part, it shows the workers taking an interest and makes hades’s dilemna clearer)

how long

no changes, amber and patrick are trying their best to save the show

chant ii

added section for the workers before hades enters, after hermes’s introduction, wondering what will happen to orpheus, workers sing small parts throughout the song

there are no other changes on the audio i have, but apparently a section was deleted for later performances

epic iii

no changes

lover’s desire

no changes

alright some big structural changes here. right after lover’s desire there’s a new section of dialogue where eurydice tells orpheus to take her home, and says everything he said in act 1 was true (about spring coming etc), pretty much the opposite of what she says at nytw. orpheus says not everything he said was true, he said the wind would never change, etc, he basically takes eurydice’s lines from the first verse of promises and they’re spoken instead of sung. orpheus says he can’t promise the wind won’t change, eurydice says “don’t [promise], just take me home.” orpheus launches into the second half of promises, starting with “i have no ring for your finger.” orpheus sings his verse, eurydice sings hers, then they have another new section of dialogue. they agree to leave, eurydice asks how, orpheus suggests that they walk. eurydice asks about hades, orpheus says hades won’t be able to tell them no, and he isn’t going back alone. they sing their duet verse.

this change is the one i have the biggest issue with. by changing the order of the songs, we lose the moment where hermes tells them they have to trust each other completely and they realize they don’t. we lose a really important part of eurydice’s character, that she was able to speak up and tell orpheus what’s wrong. in this version she has no complaints, he has to tell her that he he isn’t perfect and he couldn’t keep his promises while she acts like he has no flaws. it takes away her agency in the relationship and makes it seem like she got lost and ended up in hadestown and had to wait patiently for orpheus to come save her, when there is So Much More to it than that. we also lose the entire part where they discuss all the ways they’ve let each other down and how they promise to move forward and do better. we lose the resolution of the issues that have been haunting in their relationship since chant, where they both grow up and they both realize that they can’t have the perfect relationship they talked about in wedding song, but they love each other enough that they’re ok with a realistic relationship (maya’s point). we’ve lost the feeling of hopelessness they had at nytw, from the fact that eurydice had literally sold her soul and believed she would be stuck in hell forever. in this version they act like all of the sudden they can just walk out. ultimately what we have in this version is an empty resolution with no build up. all the tension is gone, they never acknowledge anything that’s wrong in their relationship. instead they make empty promises to be together forever despite the fact that they made those promises before, and in this version nothing has changed since then. in the old version, promises added to the heartbreak of doubt comes in, because there’s a moment of clarity between them and they trust each other, they’re ready to move forward just in time to lose each other forever. taking promises away changes the flow of the whole show and makes orpheus and eurydice’s relationship a lot emptier and less mature, taking away from the tragedy of their story. thanks for coming to my TED talk.

word to the wise

no changes

his kiss the riot

no changes

wait for me ii

still starts with hermes giving the good and bad news (same basic meaning, just with slightly different words)

eurydice asks why orpheus can’t look at her, hermes tells her it’s the gods testing them, connecting the “divide and conquer” method to the wall. hermes asks them if they trust each other and themselves. they say they do without any reflection on their relationship or honestly any proof that they even love each other but it’s fine

orpheus asks if it’s a trick, hermes says it’s a test. the song continues like normal from there and we all pretend this part of the show carries the same weight as it did before even though everything’s wrong

doubt comes in

some lyric changes for the fates. now instead of orpheus and the fates singing “where are you, where are you now” it’s just the fates singing “where is she, where is she now” which is cool when you think about it as them planting doubt in orpheus’s head

orpheus sings an added section about how he can see his future with eurydice, one of the fates responds that his story sounds the same as the day eurydice left him for hadestown, there’s some more back and forth along these lines

eurydice’s comfort has some lyric changes but it’s mostly along the same lines

it’s hard to hear what they say when orpheus turns around, but they 100% took out “you’re early/i missed you” which i don’t even see the point of. it took like 5 seconds of the show and fit so well with the situation, it contrasted the relationships between orpheus and eurydice and hades and persephone, and it showed so perfectly their relationship dynamic! going back to maya’s point from earlier, it was so perfect in showing how much orpheus relies on eurydice for his confidence and how he can’t succeed without her! but i guess we’re taking out all the development of their relationship so we can focus on other things

road to hell

this now starts with hermes saying “alright…” and then taking a deep breath and saying it again as if he needs a minute or he’s trying to calm the audience or something? which i feel like is kind of out of character for him. at nytw, he definitely showed emotion when things weren’t going well for orpheus and eurydice, but i felt like his vibe was more “it sucks but this is how the world is” which is one of the big discussions in the show (does the song “nothing changes” ring a bell?) and it makes more sense for a god who’s been around since the beginning of time and seen all the other greek myths and how they end. i don’t think he would be shocked or panicked or whatever kingsley is doing here. especially considering that he obviously knows the end of the story way the whole time, so he always knows where we’re headed (that’s the whole point of “it’s an old song/it’s a tragedy/we’re gonna sing it again/it’s a sad song but we sing it anyway”), so i don’t know what this choice is supposed to tell us.

there are some lyric changes beyond that, mostly saying “that’s how it goes/that’s how it is” which contradicts his opening but it’s mostly along the same lines. he literally sings “we know how it ends, but still we sing it again” so what was he doing??

there’s an added line at the end where eurydice sings between hermes’s lines “orpheus was a poor boy but he had a gift to give,” asking if anyone has a match and grabbing something from someone exactly like in road to hell which maya thought might be like a flashback? which seems like the most likely thing but i don’t really understand why they added it there, it doesn’t seem like it fits, if anything it should be a flashback to orpheus at the beginning. unless that’s when orpheus and eurydice first see each other or something that’s only visual and we can’t hear it

i raise my cup

no changes, but apparently they moved this song to after the curtain call after this audio was recorded, which is honestly just stupid

if you made it through this i’m very impressed. in conclusion the edmonton version is trash and i have no idea what the creative team is thinking. 

[yuniesan]

Girl Meets Season 5 -Episode 15 – Girl Meets a Single Moment [Part One]

Synopsis: What can you expect when you’re finishing high school? For Riley her entire world will turn upside down and picking up the pieces will bring her and her friends closer together.

[Previous Episodes]

A/N: So don’t kill me for the end of this.

Episode 15 – Girl Meets a Single Moment Part One

Riley couldn’t figure out how she got there, it was supposed to be a normal trip with friends and family. Except she was at the bottom of a ditch and her head hurt, and she’s pretty sure she broke her leg.

“Now I understand why dad hates skiing,” she said to no one in particular.

It had started snowing again and she was afraid that no one would find her. All she wanted to do was go for a walk while everyone else skied, she was walking down one of the paths and sat down to watch the snow fall. She tripped on the way back lodge and fell down a hill, only to find herself hurt and her phone broken.

------ Ten Hours Earlier ------  

“Come on kids’ time to get up,” she heard her mother said and Maya rolled onto her.

Maya started throwing her hands in the air making Riley giggle before she rolled off and climbed off the bed. The girls all stood in the bathroom getting ready one by one, at six in the morning it was a lot of work when they were all half asleep. The guys were already dressed when they made their way downstairs. Since there were so many of them going on the trip Farkle’s father had chartered a bus for them all to ride up to the lodge. His parents were coming along but they had to go to a function the night before so they were going to meet them on the bus.

“Why are we awake so early,” Maya said before she sat down on the couch next to Smackle who was reading a book. “How are you not tired?”

“I wake up at this time every day,” Smackle answered.

Maya groaned before Lucas walked into the apartment carrying cups of coffee, with his dad and Zay behind him with bags of food and drinks.

“Breakfast is here,” her father said as he closed the door.

“Give me coffee,” Maya said glaring at Lucas.

They sat in silence as they ate, Riley ignored the coffee just so she could nap on the way to the resort. Everyone walked outside once they were done and waited until the bus pulled up. Riley yawned and Lucas just smiled at her like he knew that she wanted to fall asleep next to him.

“So Riley is sitting next to me,” her father said before Riley turned to him giving him the death glare. “Uh fine, you can sit next to him.”

“Come on Cory,” her mother said pulling him away. “We’re going to sit together… towards the front of the bus, away from a rowdy group of teenagers.”

“We’re not rowdy,” Maya said looking at them.

“Maya you just drank three cups of coffee, you’re going to be rowdy,” Shawn said walking over to them. “Now on the bus you all go.”

Lucas walked them to the farthest seats at the back of the bus, everyone else sat towards the middle or the front excited for the trip.

“I know you didn’t drink the coffee just so we could cuddle and sleep,” he said smiling at her.

“Well it reminds me of how we spent the trip back from the ski lodge the first time,” she said smiling.

“Riley that’s because you had been awake for two days straight and needed to get some sleep.”

“Yeah well it was still sweet.”

“Yes it was,” he said pulling a blanket over them. “Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

“Okay,” she said snuggling herself up next to him. Lucas gave her a kiss on her forehead and rubbed her arm until it lulled her to sleep.

The trip to the ski lodge was four hours upstate, it wasn’t the Mount Sun Lodge, it was somewhere new without all of the memories that her parents had from years before. This was somewhere new where they could all make memories. Riley dreamt of long walks in the snow with Lucas, and building snowmen with Auggie and Ava, she dreamed of a night under the stars and hot cocoa with her friends. Most of all she wanted to find something that would commemorate the moment just like the last time.

They hadn’t known that she had left, she just wanted to go for a walk, Lucas said that he was going to surprise her with something. It sounded like something out of a movie, and she was excited about it, but he wanted to ski first and she hadn’t wanted to chance it because she was afraid of getting hurt. So she went for a walk, but the world wanted to torture her.

“Somebody help me,” she screamed out.

It was lunch time by the time they had reached the resort, they all had lunch before they got to their rooms, Riley was given her own room on the other side of the resort. Her father didn’t want her anywhere near Lucas, so her parents’ room was next to Lucas’s room. While Riley’s room was next to Josh, Farkle and his parents, Maya shared the suite along with Smackle and Cassie.

“My dad is crazy,” Riley said sitting on the couch in the sitting room.

“That he is,” Cassie said sitting next to her. “It’s almost as if he thinks you and Lucas are going to do something crazy.”

“He thinks they’re going to have sex,” Smackle said.

“She’s not wrong about that,” Maya said looking at her. “Not that Riley would do something like that before marriage.”

“Maya,” Riley yelled out.

“Yeah well we’re all thinking it, so it doesn’t matter, we’re all in relationships Riles, eventually it’s going to happen,” Maya said to her smiling.

“Can we not talk about this,” Riley said before getting up and going to her room her face flushing from the conversation they were having.

She wasn’t sure about sex, she knew that she wanted to wait, and yes maybe it won’t happen until she got married but it shouldn’t matter what they thought. She sighed as she walked through the door only to hear her phone beeping, to the sound of a cowboy, it was Lucas, she had put different ringtones for all of her friends, but his was something they had picked together.

Dinner, you and me tonight?

She smiled at the message, how are we going to have dinner if my dad is keeping us apart?

Her phone beeped, don’t worry it’s out in the open they’ll see where we are.

Her phone went off again before she could reply, Plus I have someone on my side.

Who’s that? she replied.

Your mom, your brother and Ava.

Riley laughed at the message, her father could try to keep them apart but in the end she had allies, and her mother thought her father was being too overprotective especially now that she was graduating from high school.

Okay, she replied smiling. She dialed Lucas’s number on her phone and waited for him to pick up.

“Hello,” he said she could hear the smile on his voice.

“Hi,” she said before laying down on the bed. “So does it feel like we’re some weird version of Romeo and Juliet?”

“Somedays, your dad has Maya’s parents near me, I’m bunking with Zay but it’s still kind of weird,” he said.

“So you want to have dinner?”

“Yes, but how?”

“The hotel has this sunroom, where you can see the stars, we’re having dinner there.”

“Sounds romantic.”

“The rest of the details are a secret, a surprise.”

“As long as it’s under the stars, like the first day we became a couple it will be perfect.”

“Okay, I’m going to ski for a while do you want to come with me?”

“Nope,” she said. “I’m going to go to the spa and maybe take a walk in the snow.”

“Okay, just be back by six for dinner.”

“Under the stars,” she said smiling.

They hung up, leaving Riley to her thoughts, when she walked back outside there was a note on table. The girls had gone skiing as well, she was the only one who wasn’t going to take the chance and go skiing. She didn’t really care, as long as everyone was having fun it was going to be alright.

Riley spent sometime in the spa getting her nails done, and a facial just for fun before going out on a walk. The flurries were lightly coming down around her, she walked towards the path that led towards the lake, it should be iced over but Riley just wanted to see how the snow looked on the trees. It looked almost magical, unlike in the city where the snow melted too fast, or turned black because there were so many cars. She stood there and looked out at the wonderland in front of her.

That was the reason why she hadn’t seen the root of the tree on the ground, it was the reason why she tripped over it. Her foot hit the root, making her tumble forward down the nearby hill and into the bank of snow at the bottom. Somewhere down the hill she cut her head, her leg twisted in an odd angle and hurt like the dickens.

And she was alone.

“That was a lot of fun,” Maya said smiling at them as they walked through the doors.

Lucas looked at his friend but felt like that there was one thing missing from it all, and that was Riley. He needed to get ready for their dinner, he had asked Farkle for help when the trip had been proposed because he knew that there was no way that he would be able to find a room like that anywhere.

The sun room was actually a part of a green house filled with flowers so he thought that it would be perfect for dinner, even if it was just a plain picnic but him and Riley never really cared about going to big fancy restaurants, their dates were always something that they would both enjoy.

“Hey have you guys seen Riley?” Mr. Matthews said walking towards them.

“No not since we left to go skiing,” Maya answered. “We left her in the room, and she wouldn’t go skiing anyway because you scared her for life.”

“She’s not in her room,” he said looking around at the teenagers. “The front desk told me she went out over an hour ago.”

“She told me that she was going to go to the spa, and then for a walk,” Lucas said looking at his girlfriend’s father.

“It’s started snowing again a while ago and they’re talking about it being a really bad storm,” Farkle said looking at them.

“We’ll have the front desk call the patrol unit to see if they can find her, but it’s getting dark out there,” Mr. Matthews said but Lucas’s ears felt as though they were being filled with water.

Everyone around him kept talking but he couldn’t hear a thing all he could think about was the fact that Riley was out there alone in the dark. He didn’t know what to do, every instinct told him to run out there and look for her. Zay’s hand was on him before he could move forward, everyone was looking at him worried because of Riley but also because they knew how he would react. They pulled him towards a couch and sat him down so they could talk, her parents, her brother, their friends, it was a second family to him and without Riley his heart wouldn’t be the same.

[kitsutoshi]

When you know better...do better.

With the new year about to start, I’m thinking about resolutions.  Things to change.  To quote Maya Angelou “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

But I’m having trouble with that.  A lot of the time I don’t do better.  

Of course I want to “be the change I want to see in the world.”  But I also don’t want to introduce myself with my pronouns, because it feels weird, and the phrase “I am too old for this” plays in my head.  I understand that there’s some kind of thing about plastic straws being awful, but I’ve not read the articles and haven’t turned down a straw yet.  I’m still struggling to understand cultural appropriation (at least grayer aspects of it) and while I’m not buying any “Hot Buddhist Monk” Halloween costumes, I find myself thinking “how much does this really matter?” when YES it matters.  I think most people would agree it’s worse to knowingly do bad things than to accidentally or unknowingly do them.  I like to think I’m a good person…but this is some bullshit.

And not just me, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who knows better but screws up anyway.  If that wasn’t true then there would be no Doritos.

Right now we’re watching the long-overdue tipping point with sexual harassment, thanks largely to the #MeToo movement.  We’re tossing flawed men out of positions of responsibility as if it’s going out of style. And we’re vilifying them.  In some cases, for mistakes made back when those actions were the norm.  In other cases it’s dick pics.  Men fighting the tide of history.  Men who knew better, or had no excuse not to, but who propositioned those teenaged girls, those women at work.  Men who knew better, but grabbed women’s butts anyway.

And when I look at history, it’s filled with people who seriously had to know better (slavery? really?) but who just kept doing wrong.  Even people “on the wrong side of history” who definitely knew better.

I think we can all relate to knowing better but doing worse.  So how do we weigh that?  How do we handle all of this?  

I’ve engaged in discussions this year about how to honor historical heroes who were also deeply flawed people “by modern standards.”  If we judge historical people by what we now generally agree is wrong (slave owners are a great example) then we lose the good with the bad.  Thomas Jefferson, American hero…and terrible person who surely knew it was wrong to own people.

We’re also losing the good they’ve done (anyone feel like binging the Cosby Show?).  We have to figure out what to do with the artistic works, awards, philanthropy, invention…everything.  

So should we toss the baby with the bathwater?  And how do we think about those folks, past and present?  How do we think about ourselves? What wrongs are enough to write a person off completely?

So here we are, headed inexorably into the next New Year.  I’m considering resolutions, I want to “do better.”  I have a list of things I now know (or maybe haver for a long while) and I want to behave better.  But what if I don’t?  This issue is personal.  I can’t think “yeah, that Thomas Jefferson guy…” or “Dammit Al Franken!” without also thinking “and you.”  I’m no different than any people who didn’t “do better.”

We know that some social ills will only be fixed by waiting for a generation or two to die.  Young people who are “woke” waiting for older racist/sexist/homophobe/etc bigots to just die off and take their crufty views and behaviors with them.  Because change is hard.  People know better all day long, and don’t do better.

So it’s hard.  But is that an excuse?  (spoiler: no, no it isn’t).

So what are some of the things people debate “overlooking?” because of “the times they lived in?”   Owning slaves.  Harassing behavior that might have been the norm but was never ok. There’s this idea that if something was common that we should just understand and give people a bye.    I’m not so sure.

When I use a microscope, what I can see is a whole lot of people who knew clearly, long before the Civil War, that slavery was wrong.  Otherwise the Underground Railroad would have been to nowhere.  I see a lot of HR seminars on harassment and hostile work environment, laughed off by guys who didn’t want to change.

When recycling became a thing, young people were all over it.  There are plenty of Baby Boomers who throw away water bottles every day.  There are young people who would carry an empty plastic bottle across the earth to recycle it.  And there are people in between, who recycle if it’s convenient.  Do we give a pass to the individual boomers who can’t find a blue bin with both hands and a map, because it’s a “function of the times?”

Where am I going with this?

My dearest hope is that humanity will continue to advance. That the future will bring more social evolution.  More cooperation, less competition.  More selfless behavior, less profiteering.  More live-and-let-live and less authoritarianism.  I’d like to think that humanity will eventually produce the Federation of Planets.  

The best example I can think of where a sea-change is coming but we’re not yet at a tipping point is eating meat.  It seems likely that in the future, people won’t eat meat from real animals anymore.  Lab-grown real meat may be a thing, or good sense will have prevailed and folks will eat vegan, or just flat-out overpopulation will make meat a thing of the past.  I eat meat.  I know better.  I have the means to eat well without meat, and I don’t.  I try to source my meat from local farms with high ethical standards.  But not always.  But someday there will be whole generations of people who wouldn’t even contemplate killing an animal to make a meal.  How will they look at us?

If you speak to any not-deranged human being and say “is torturing an animal ok?”  The answer is unequivocally no.  Absolutely no.  But we rationalize.  We do it for medical science.  We definitely do it for food.  We wear leather but not fur.  We eat pigs but not dogs.  Ugly animals don’t count.  

But those people will look back at us in bafflement and disgust.  If we did awesome things, maybe won a Nobel Prize, or twelve Olympic medals…they will still look at us as “meat eaters.”  

What I’m looking for is a litmus test.  I’m no pinnacle of human perfection, there’s a lot going on that needs fixing here.  And our ancestors were the same.  People who knew damned well and good that women should be able to vote, but who went along with the social order of abuse and oppression.  Nazis.  Slave owners.  War profiteers.  Pussy grabbers.  Casting-couch sleaze.

But many of those people (not the Nazis) did great things.  Art, literature, war heroism, writing Constitutions.  We want to know those things right?

What would I want for future folk to think of me?  Not that I’m likely to be remembered in a hundred years, but if some future schoolchild does look back at my life, what do I want for them to think?  What would Thomas Jefferson want for me (and us) to think of him?

These are some answers I would give (TJ will have to speak for himself):

1. If I’m making mistakes (and history suggests that we all do that) then I’d like to be forgiven those.  If I really think I’m doing a good thing, but later hindsight says “nope,” future people please give me a pass.  I offer the same to people in my rear-view mirror.

2. When I already know better…How would I like to be viewed for that? When I refuse a major change with measurable benefit to the world, in favor of personal convenience or preference.  I’m the modern equivalent of the “nice” slave owner who knows it’s wrong so he makes sure that his slaves have good housing and food.  I’m a “product of my time” where most people who can afford to will eat meat every day. So even though vegans exist and ethics matter, I eat meat. When I look forward and think of those future great-great-great-great grandchildren looking back at me, I can’t meet their eyes.  If they need to dismiss whatever good I’ve done out of disgust for the things I do knowingly wrongly, I can’t blame them for that.  I know better, but I don’t do better.  My hope is that the problem (be it meat or something else) solved itself when a few generations died off, maybe including me and mine.

3. But what if I didn’t know, but I reallllly should have?  What if I’d never watched any PETA videos, never read Temple Grandin’s book.  What if I grew up without knowing how food comes to fork?  Some forms of Christianity differentiate between a sin committed knowingly, and one committed without knowledge.  Purgatory was invented because it wasn’t fair to think of all of those non-Christian souls burning in hell just because they never even had the opportunity to be forgiven.  Modern criminal law differentiates some types of offenses based on intent.  But I don’t know how I feel about those historical people who thought they were “protecting” women by treating them as voteless property.  I know that I’ve been confronted with ideas that I just haven’t had time or inclination or energy to deal with.  For example, the concept of “implicit bias” didn’t really land in my consciousness until this year, even though I had heard of it years ago.  It didn’t hit me with enough impact to motivate any effort on my part until recently.  But I could have learned it at any time.  The information was available to me.   I guess I’m not that forgiving.  Willful ignorance isn’t an excuse to me.  Your mileage may differ.  I hold myself accountable for things I chose not to know, at least things it would have been easy to know.  There’s a scale.  I’m ok with future people thinking “she used STRAWS?!  But didn’t she see those headlines on Facebook?” I hope they’ll cut a little slack for a primitive progenitor if the information wasn’t readily available, but if it was looking me in the face, that’s on me.

I don’t know how Thomas Jefferson would feel about this.  Or Winston Churchill.  My best guess is that they would feel as I do.  A Golden Rule situation.  If I would want for my progeny to forgive me for something, maybe I should forgive the same things.

Applying those rules of thumb:  Sexual harassment and abuse in the workplace.  It’s never been ok. Women have taken men to HR or court over this crap since women have worked.  No one younger than 90 should be able to plead ignorance that work isn’t the place to get handsy or to talk about sex or to try to get a date with your subordinate. But men who knew better sure haven’t done better.  Many have, but many have not.  No one is getting a pass.

We fought a war in this country in which slavery was the primary or a collateral issue (depends on who you ask).  Plenty of people knew perfectly well that it was wrong…but many people who knew better did worse.  I vote no passes.

There are a lot of vegetarians and vegans around.  And people still make fun of them.  I think most of us know that’s really right-action and that our meat-eating isn’t.  I’ve also seen a lot of humor to the effect that vegans and vegetarians are on a high horse (riding, not eating) and shouldn’t look down at the rest of us. But I see two things there:

When you’ve seen better and done better, maybe it’s ok to express that there’s something others should wake up to.  Why would we NOT want that?  Lots of people go to church specifically to be reminded to do better.

Maybe when you’ve walked a lot of miles being made fun of for ethical uprightness, reminders come out less like “hey, there’s something to consider” and more like “wtf is wrong with you?”    

We should want that reminder.  We should want to wake up to what we’re doing wrong.  But when you’re around someone who you know is doing better, it feels like being judged. Which all of us hate.  We think of ourselves as good people, but we know we’re doing bad things, and people doing better just remind us of that.  We judge ourselves.  Then we thrash, to avoid those feelings.

It’s galling, isn’t it.  When you know you’re choosing worse, and someone else has chosen better?  We want to keep doing the thing we do, but we don’t like to think of ourselves as bad.  So we weasel and manage our cognitive dissonance.  From inventing religions that give us “absolution” so we can keep on sinning, to making fun of vegans to avoid the idea that they’re right.  We compound our wrongs with more wrongs.

Right now we have a society where people who do better are actively mocked by people who do worse.  “Social justice warrior” is somehow an insult (!!?).  It sounds like something that should be the highest possible praise.  Its as if the bullies all won, and decent people are getting shoved into lockers.  Only we’re all the bullies too, on one subject or another.

So “know better…do better” right?   There’s no pass for failure.  Of course it’s easier to do things when everyone else is doing them too.  But sometimes we’re the first generation to know better.  We still have to do it.  We may someday figure out how to handle the artistic, scientific, philosophical, and other goods created by slave-owners, harassers, abusers, profiteers, and others.  I hope we do.  I’m going to use the “what would future progeny think?” litmus test.  And if “they’d think I was scum of the earth,” that seems fair.  If I knowingly do something wrong, just because everyone else is doing it too, I shouldn’t get a pass. 

Here’s the main step I plan to take this year.  I’d like to confront my irritation.  My blind spots.  Find my cognitive dissonance.  I may not manage to do better in some respects (burgers) but I’m going to face that head one.  No pats on the back. Conscience turned up to 11.  No passes given to myself if that future society wouldn’t give me one.  When I know better, I will own it when I don’t do better.  The world needs that.

[grizbehr]

Second Chances - Part Two

Future AU: The reunion over, Lucas and Lily return to Texas and Riley returns to her job overseas. Will the difficulties of distance and their own lives cause problems for their reemerging relationship

Part One   Chapter List

Chapter Thirteen - Birthdays

"Go ahead," Riley said as she cuddled in Lucas' arms on the couch. "Tell me you told me so."

"I wouldn't do that," Lucas told her. He had gotten back from the hospital to find that Riley and Maya had returned. Riley had been curled up on the sofa and Lucas pulled her into his arms.

"I understand her loss, but how can someone take it out on a child like that?"

"Had it been her father you met, you may have been able to bring him around. But Hannah has been like that for as long as I've known her. She never warmed up to me. Anna told me there were times when she saw her mother brighten, but it was only for a second. Then she would revert back to her stern and rigid behavior. She loved her mother, but I think she was glad when she moved away for college."

Riley sat there, comfortable in Lucas' arms. With everything else that was going on, here she felt safe.

"You did a good job with the ramp," she said after a moment. "I take it it was Zay who replanted the flowers?"

"Yeah," Lucas laughed. "It was actually Thomas and the hands who did the work. After we got the truck unloaded, I went to the hospital."

"How's she doing?"

"I'm not sure. Physically she's the same, but I think being there is getting to her. Tomorrow is her birthday and I'm going to talk to the doctor and see if we can bring her home early."

"Just don't push too hard. If bringing her home would do more harm than good…"

"I know. I'm just going to talk to him about it. I won't bring her home until she's ready." The two sat there in silence.

"Where is everyone," Riley asked, noticing that neither Maya or Zay had come in. Lucas looked out the window at the evening sky.

"I'm not sure. They were out front when I came in."

"Maybe we should go find them," Riley said, starting to rise. Lucas held on and pulled her closer.

"Or maybe we should just let them find themselves. I'm actually pretty comfortable as I am." Riley relented and snuggled in closer.

"So," Lucas said hesitantly. "Have you thought any more about what you are going to do?"

"Not really." Riley let out a sigh. "But I don't think I'm headed back to London. I thought about it a lot on the ride back here. Between Anna's mom cutting herself of from Lily and you and your father made me realize even more how much I've cut myself off from my parents. When we were younger, I was so close to them. Even when it sometimes felt that mom was closer to Maya than me, I always knew she was there for me. And dad was always around, even when we didn't want him there. Since I moved…actually before that…we're not as close. I'd like to change that before it's too late."

"I don't think that's something you need to worry about. My dad and I have never really gotten along. He always thought he knew what was best for me, without taking what I want into consideration."

"He was right about moving to New York though," Riley interrupted. "Wasn't he?"

"Yeah, he was. But he never made me feel that I could come to him. It was always his way or the highway. As for Hannah, she grew up in an orphanage and was reared by nuns. So I don't think she ever knew how a mother was supposed to act, but she did her best. I think, maybe, she had to close herself off to protect herself. I hope that she'll come around, but I don't expect it. Someday, maybe Lily will reach out and they'll change their minds."

"Are you sure you want to come here," Zay asked as they walked through the trees. "It kind of messed everything up last time,"

"I'm sure," Maya said as they came across the campfire burn. She walked around it before sitting down on one of the logs. Zay sat down across from her.

"Do you ever think 'What if?'" Zay asked her. "What if we had never come here for the rodeo? What if Riley hadn't backed away? What if…"

"What if Lucas and I had kissed here?" Zay nodded at her and Maya gazed into the black spot in the middle of the clearing. "Yeah, I thought about it. Especially when we first got back. I sometimes wished that we had. Then we would have known if there was something there. Like the song says, 'If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss.' Based on what we know now, there wouldn't have been and we could have moved on that much faster."

"Or you might have thought there was something and it would have made it so much worse."

"You're probably right," Maya admitted. "That was the only time I was worried about Riley and me. That's part of why it dragged on as long as it did. I thought that if one of us got with Lucas, the other would pull away."

"Riley did," Zay said. "Remember before Farkle made his announcement on the roof. If it was you and Riley, everything was good. But once Lucas came in, Riley excused herself. She really thought that the two of you liked each other and the sight of you together hurt her so much."

"And I was oblivious to it," Maya agreed. "I've gotten better since then. I've known for a few years that Riley hasn't been happy in London. But that's something she needed to figure out on her own."

"I think we've all known. When she left for London, I thought that was going to be the end of us. It felt just like when her mom was possibly getting transferred there, except it was worse. Lucas was down here and I was scared that without him as an anchor, I'd lose my friends. I knew that Riley would never let me go, but if she was gone..."

"Hey," Maya got up and went over to him. "You're stuck with us," she wrapped her arms around Zay's shoulders.

"Boy, do I know that now. We've all grown a lot since High School. We've become stronger, both together and separately. All of us have learned something from the people in our lives."

"People change people." Maya laid her head on Zay's shoulder and the two friends sat there in silence.

Lily's eyes opened and she looked at the clock. "Two-twenty-three," she said sadly. "Happy birthday, Lily." She looked around the room, wishing she was in her own bed in her own home. Her dad would be coming in right about now to wish her a happy birthday and they'd sit and talk.

"Happy birthday, baby girl," Lucas said from the doorway. Lily looked up and smiled.

"Daddy," she said, reaching her arms out. Lucas sat on the bed next to her and hugged her softly. "I'm glad you're here. I was afraid we wouldn't be able to do this this year."

"I sneaked in. No way was I going to miss being the first to wish you a happy birthday." He kissed Lily before letting her fall back on her pillow. "So how does it feel to be fifteen?"

"It sucks," Lily said. "I'm tired of being here. I'm tired of this pain in my side. I'm tired of my foot not working. I want to go home."

"I know, and as soon as the doctors say you can, you will. We're all coming back later to have a mini-birthday and I plan on talking to them then. I just don't want to do anything that will hurt your recovery."

"Ya'll don't have to do that. I'm not really up to a party."

"Tough. Maya and Zay need to get back and they want you to know how much you mean to them. We won't stay long."

"Fine. What about Riley? Is she going too?"

"Not just yet." Lucas paused for a moment, not sure if he should tell his daughter this. "She quit her job and is moving back to New York, so doesn't have anything pressing right now. She said she'd stay with us for a while."

"You know," Lily said. "If you wanted to, you could ask her to move down here with us instead of going back to New York. I think it would be good for you to have her around. And I'd kind of like for her to be around also."

"I agree," Lucas told her. "But she needs to do what's right for her. We can't be selfish. She wants to reconnect with her family and I think that's important. Maybe, someday."

"I'll look forward to someday, then. You could make sure she, you know, knows that she's welcome to, though."

"She knows," Lucas said.

"Just don't assume she does, daddy. Make sure."

"I will," Lucas assured her. "Trust me, I learned a long time ago not to just assume things." Lily looked at him curiously. He laughed softly. "Okay, one story then you get back to sleep and I'll head home. It was after we went on our disastrous second date and we had decided to just be friends because we weren't ready yet. The semi-formal was coming up and I assumed we would be going together, so I didn't ask her. I mean, we had gone to the last dance together. What I didn't realize at the time was that Riley wanted to be asked. They showed this old filmstrip from the fifties and I still didn't get it. After class, a friend, of sorts, did this big ask. Flowers, balloons, Yogi on roller-skates. Riley said yes, thinking it was from me. But it wasn't. I was hurt at first, then upset with myself. I let her down."

"When we finally did get together, we promised that we'd go to dances together without even asking. But I made sure to ask anyway."

"Do you think that if you had asked her, maybe the two of you would have gotten together earlier?"

"Maybe," Lucas said. "Riley and I had a lot of missed opportunities. It always seemed as if something was getting in the way. Usually our own insecurities. Okay, you get to sleep and let me get out of here before security comes and drags me off." Lily laughed as Lucas leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. "Happy birthday, baby."

"Thanks, daddy." Lily closed her eyes and Lucas went home.

"Happy birthday to you," they sang as they came into the room. Lily sat up in her bed and put a smile on her face. Maya was in front, holding the cake. Riley and Zay came in behind her, wrapped presents in their arms. Pulling up the rear was her father, balloons in his hands. They finished the song and then put down their burdens.

"Happy birthday," Maya said, kissing Lily on the cheek. She brushed her hand lightly through the young girl's hair.

"Happy birthday, magpie." Zay pulled a hard candy out of his pocket and put it in Lily's mouth.

"Happy birthday, Lily," Riley said, hugging her. Lily took her by the hand and didn't let go as her father gave her a hug.

"Maria will be by later," Lucas said. "She didn't want to crowd the room. Maggie said she'd call you. Her mom isn't letting her out too much."

"Thank you, everybody," she said, still holding Riley's hand. Riley noticed and climbed onto the bed and wrapped her arm around the girl. "But you didn't need to do this."

"Of course we did," Maya said. "It's not every day a girl turns fifteen."

"Besides," Zay added. "I'll never turn down a party." He moved his arms in a cheesy dancing motion, causing everyone to laugh.

As the others moved around the room, decorating and setting up, Riley stayed with Lily. "Are you doing okay," she asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Lily said. She relented quickly under Riley's gaze. "Okay, not fine. I'm bored and tired and ready to get out of here."

"I know, I know," Riley squeezed her. "When I got my tonsils out when I was little I was stuck in the hospital. Not as long as you have, by any means, but it was depressing being there. But I had my friends and family and that made it bearable."

"I guess," Lily admitted. "But I don't like being fussed over. I can stand on my own two feet." Riley looked at her as Lily's eyes moved to the bottom of her bed. "At least I used to," Lily said under her breath. Riley heard her and squeezed her again.

"You'll get there," Riley said. "I have faith. If you are half as stubborn as your father, nothing is going to stop you." She looked up to make sure everyone was occupied and pulled an envelope out of her pocket. "This is for you," she said, handing it over. "It's the address for your mother's parents."

Lily took it and stared at the sealed envelope. As often as she thought of her mother, she rarely gave a thought to her grandparents.

"I thought you could write them," Riley explained. "Maybe if you reached out, they'd be willing to do the same. They are family."

"Thank you, Riley," Lily breathed. Riley smiled and began to get up, but Lily stopped her. "I like you being here," Lily told her and Riley relaxed back next to her.

"Okay," Maya said, finishing up. The balloons were floating against the ceiling and the cake was on the table. There were no candles as they couldn't light a fire in the hospital. A banner, decorated by Maya with flowers and horses, was hung across the window reading "Happy Birthday Lily!"

"It's presents time," Maya continued. She brought a flat package over and deposited it on Lily's lap. "Mine first."

Lily tore the paper open. She pulled out a drawing pad and colored pencils. "Thank you, Auntie Maya. I love it, but I'm not a really good artist."

"You don't have to be good," Maya said. "Just have fun. And if something wonderful happens, draw me a picture." She leaned down and hugged the girl.

"Me next," Zay said, pushing a small box into her hands. Lily opened it, revealing a pendant of a bird. "It's a magpie," he explained.

"Thank you, Uncle Zay." Zay smiled and blushed as she put it around her neck with Riley's help. She put her hand on it and smiled.

"Riley," Lucas asked her. He handed her the box she had brought and Riley passed it over to Lily. She opened it to find a flash drive. Lily picked it up and saw the name "Lucas" hand written on it. She looked over at Riley confused.

"I know your father didn't tell you a lot about his time up north," Riley said. "I gathered up all the photos I could find of him, both mine and from the others who know him, and put them on this flash drive. If you play them in order, it sort of tells his story. I, uhm, also included pictures of him and your mom and the three of you together. I hope it's okay."

"It's perfect," Lily said. She held it in her hand and spun it around. She leaned her head on Riley's shoulder, wishing she had her computer here so she could look at them. Lucas smiled down at his daughter laying there next to Riley.

"There's someone else who wants to give you a birthday present, of sorts," Lucas said, pulling out his tablet. He opened up the video chat app and then turned it to face Lily.

"Happy birthday," Farkle said from the screen.

"Hi, Uncle Farkle," Lily said. She could see he was still at the hospital.

"Okay, this isn’t exactly your birthday present," Farkle said. "That's a flight on a private jet whenever you want to come up here and visit. But this arrived late last night and thought you'd like to see." He turned the tablet around to reveal Isadora holding a baby boy in her arms.

"May I introduce you to Stuart Cornelius Minkus." Lily could hear the pride in his voice.

"Aawwwwwwww," Lily, Riley, and Maya all said at the same time. "He's so cute," Lily said.

"And he had the foresight not to be born on your birthday," Farkle said, sitting next to his wife and son. "He was born at eleven-fifty-eight last night."

"My dad will be so proud you gave him the name Cornelius," Riley said.

"He and your mom were here this morning and I told him. He started tearing up. But how could I not name my son after someone who meant so much to my life. He helped make me the man I am."

"He's adorable, guys," Lucas said. "Don't you think, Izzy?"

"I do," Isadora said. "I was worried about connecting with him, but as soon as he was in my arms I knew that wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm glad."

"Riley, Maya," Farkle stated. "Even though neither of us are really religious, we'd like for you to be his godmothers."

"You can't have two godmothers," Zay said.

"Who says," Farkle replied. "I've never been able to choose between those two, so it only makes sense that they both hold that position."

Riley looked over at Maya who nodded. "We'd love to, Farkle," Riley said for both of them.

"Good. And since he'll have two godmothers, it's only fair that he have two godfathers. Lucas, Zay? Would you do us the honor."

"Of course," Lucas said quickly, smiling.

"Try and stop us," Zay said, forgetting his earlier objection.

"We're going to let you go now," Farkle said. "Isadora and Stuart need their rest."

"Bye, Farkle," everyone said. "Bye Izzy. Bye Stuart." The screen went dark and everyone started talking about the baby. Everyone except Lily.

"What's wrong," Riley said, noticing. Lily realized that very little got past Riley, even if she didn't let on that she knew.

"I don't know," Lily admitted. "I'm happy everyone is here and I got to see Farkle and the baby. Maybe I'm just getting tired out." She glanced over at the door.

"Or maybe you wish someone else was here? Where is Dave? I haven't seen him for a while."

"We had a fight. He was just always doing things for me. Things I should be able to do myself. I just don't want to see him right now. But at the same time, I do."

"I think it's more that you don't want him to see you right now," Riley explained. "You feel broken and his trying to help makes you feel more broken and you don't want him to see you broken so you pushed him away. It's understandable, it really is. But don't let it go on too long. I don't know him that well, but sometimes when you push someone away, they go."

Lily put her head back on Riley's shoulder. Riley smiled at the girl. Though they didn't say it out loud, they both thought that this felt right.

Chapter Fourteen - Home Again