#for legal reasons this is a joke .

[swamplamp]

The Passenger (2023) dir. Carter Smith 🪚🪚🪚 (x)

[sweeneydino]

For some reason killing her husband didn’t win her over…i wonder why-

No cause im fr curious on what goes on up there

Sir this is a wendy’s.

[igotthisaccountunderduress]

what is it about being a girl that makes you want to kill people sometimes.

[the-beacons-of-minas-tirith]

Hold on i gotta look something up

…yeah this is funny

oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

[thedissonantverses]

The devs: Hey we cut import decisions down so that the decisions you import and the decisions you make are relevant to the story we’re actually telling. Our studio may be on the chopping block and we have a finite amount of time to make a satisfying game. We know you’re disappointed but-

Me(Who’s been doing this for 16 years): Bet the HOF has a griffon now and kept Alistair alive during the fall of Denerim and Hawke and Fenris are finally happy and ooo I bet there’s a good fanfic I could write in there somewhere….

Way too many people: But the flavor text! That I’d still complain about! Because I always complain about how the choices are handled! It is literally impossible for them to make me happy if they don’t focus on my ships while the world is ending!

[quintessenceofdust88]

what if Buck almost relapsed cause he got a positive pregnancy test, huh? What then?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

the "no body, no crime" to "my husband is cheating, I want to kill him" pipeline 👀😩😂

[tevanbuckley]

so….how about them leaks?

[luxdraconia]

be normal about aroallos or i kill you

[mae-lou-ron]

Me: ::practicing writing smut::

Also me: Oh sick, @jetii just posted a new fic let’s go check it out…

Also also me:

[tire-d-artist]

Jenson has this strange ability to look a lot shorter compared to Mark than he should (they’re only two centimeters apart in height according to google…2 CM IS NOTHING!!) it could just be perspective but that’s a boring answer so I’ll ignore it

here’s some examples:

Ummmmmmmmm… maybe they haven’t reached their tallest height. That’s okay, I’m sure they won’t have that huge of a height difference in the future also ignore Jenson’s hand placement

Alright.. not that much better (this is seven years from the last photo)

Moving forward…

Huh???

Now Jenson has shrunk to Lewis’ level

[thewrongblues]

ok so I work at a place where footballers take their dogs (dont ask) and not one of them are well bred they're all inbred to fuck and neurotic

these football men paying thousands of pounds for fucking poodle mixes and I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO LOOK AFTER THEM

[igotthisaccountunderduress]

listen having a favourite character is just embarrassing sometimes. yeah that’s my specialest little blorbo. yeah I’ve read every word of their stuff. yeah I think about them 24/7. yeah I project all my issues onto them and write fanfiction about them and have multiple playlists dedicated to them. And I’m here on your dash to once again tell you that I am still thinking about them bc I thought you needed to know that. you can just shoot me now.

[im-not-here-achitchuchaly]

10 simple tricks to get away with ANY crime

How to identify what violence to commit against a new person

10 reasons your suicide is a good idea

New to senseless violence? Here's what you should start with!

consider: intrusive thoughts described like shitty Buzzfeed articles

“Top 10 Reasons Why You’re Actually a Pedophile”

“People Are Sharing the Best Slurs to Scream at the Top of Your Lungs and Honestly I Am So Here For It”

“Tell Me Your Favorite Color and I’ll Tell You You Can Jump In Front of A Moving Train Right Now”

“You’ve Heard of [Normal Activity], But Have You Heard of All the Horrible Ways You Can Die While Doing It???!!”

“This Quiz Will RevealWhich Hand You Could Hypothetically Stick in a Blender!”

[pixiemage]

According to my phone, I have big plans today

[heraxic]

im sensing a pattern here🤔🏳️‍🌈