#for it's time it was gorgeous and with what Nintendo has been putting out since still very much holds up

[coockie8]

what do u mean by u havent been a fan of the artstyle since skyward sword?

I mean exactly that. I haven't liked the art style of a non-Toon Zelda game since Twilight Princess. And if their new toon style is whatever they've been using to remake games, then I officially hate the toon style as well (Windwaker supremacy).

Non-toon games Skyward Sword onward, which is admittedly not many games, all try to merge the more realistic character models of the non-toon games with the colouring style of the toon games, and I'm sorry, but it's fucking hideous.

They look like halfway through rendering the characters, the team just gave up, and decided to release it in that half-finished state, and I'm not joking.

Twilight Princess worked lighting in a way Nintendo has failed to grasp since.

[dadjoke-ness]

As a fandom, we need to let The Pokemon Company and Nintendo know we are not only okay with delays, we’d prefer them if it made the game better.

Simply put, currently they have to achieve a quota of one game for year - this is because while The Pokemon Company is doing fine financially (merch, anime, and app games actually make them more money) and Nintendo is always going to do fine financially, Nintendo and TPC likely have a contract where games have to make so much a year. This is because Nintendo only owns/controls 33% of The Pokemon Company - specifically the switch game division, so their only pokemon money comes from the games. 

However, pokemon is one of their biggest sellers. It’s the only one where they have a guaranteed new generation every 3-4 years, and at least one guaranteed spin off game every year. We don’t see this for many other big name games. Legend of Zelda is allowed delays. Mario is not released this religiously. Yokai Watch (though they don’t give it to the rest of the world) is allowed delays and they take their time to make honestly gorgeous games with awful creatures. The closest we get to this grind is Final Fantasy, and I can name only a handful of stand out characters. Pokemon has this expectation from nintendo - they always come out right before the holidays so people buy them as gifts for Christmas. The pokemon games also boost sales for other parts of nintendo - many players admit only buying a 3ds or a Switch because of pokemon. And the points from buying pokemon let you get other games on sale that you can get for “free” or steeply discounted, as pokemon games give you 300 points each - the games you can get for free with your points alone right now is actually quite impressive and I can personally recommend several of them. 

But how do we fix it? Simply put, we need a way to communicate we ARE okay with a new generation taking 4 or even 5 years. The reason for the deadline is because fans got so angry waiting for previous generations that they have to adhere to a very strict “every 3 years” timeline, and have done so since between gen 5 and 6. But I remember back in between gens 6 and 7, a gap of only 3 years, people complaining that the new generation was taking so long to come out, why do we have to wait three years between new generations. That loud backlash for the completely normal wait time made the Pokemon Company and Nintendo unwilling to delay pokemon at all - and that one was already on a completely average timeline. But that is also why after Sun and Moon, we got USUM a year later, the same game but cleaned up and with more features. We got what the game would have been if they were allowed an extra year to work on it. 

We need to hold this as an example and push against anyone who complains if the tenth generation takes an extra year. We need to say “yes, but the developers need time to make the game good” and hold that line. 

Because while we all agree they needed more time now, in two years I can almost GUARANTEE people will be complaining at how slowly news of the tenth generation comes out, complaining about how much time it takes to get a new generation while playing whatever remake is on the switch.

And we need to hold that line. We need to be able to say “Scarlet and Violet were fun, and we want a game that fun with time given to make it run well. With time given to check for bugs. We want the new generation to have a delay if they need it, and we won’t complain too much if it takes up to an extra year.”

We need to take an example from the Zelda community. They didn’t complain when Tears of the Kingdom was delayed, they’re excited because delaying a Zelda game means that it is going to be friggen GOOD. And we need to send Pokemon the same message, that it is okay to delay something if the delay makes it good. 

[lilchibi-chan]

Hiii! I’m back with another request! I was thinking about requesting just sleepy cuddle things with Kenma, Ennoshita, and Hinata. Just under a blanket and being all cute and snuggly 🥰 😊

Of course!!

Kenma

Today, it was raining, which to you was the perfect stay inside and cuddle weather. The only problem was you were at your house and Kenma was at his. It wasn’t raining too hard, so you decide to text Kenma and see if he’s home.

He responds with a simple yes and you go grab your umbrella. You inform your mom that you’re going to Kenma’s and make your way out.

Once you get there, you ring the bell and even text him that you’re outside. It takes a couple minutes, so you assume he was finishing a game or he just wasn’t near the door.

When he opens the door, he’s standing there with his Nintendo switch in his hand.

“Hey pudding,” he says, stepping aside so you can go in and get out of the rain

When you enter, Kuroo is standing on the doorway of the living room.

“Hey Y/N, it’s been a while and you’re looking as beautiful as ever. Doesn’t she, Kenma?” he says in a teasing tone

“Y-yeah, I guess,” Kenma says blushing

“Thanks,” you say with a smile

You take off your shoes and put on a pair of house slippers that you have there, then enter the house. You greet Kenma’s mother, who is in the kitchen, then join kenma on the floor in the living room. He was very invested in his game, as usual and you always liked to observe him as he played and look at the focused expression that rarely changed.

“Kenma,” you whisper/say

“Hmm,” he answers, not looking away from his game

You look over at Kuroo, so that he would get the hint.

“Hey Kenma, I’m gonna head out. I’ll probably come back later after she leaves,” Kuroo says, then heads towards the door

“Okay, bye,” Kenma says and you walk Kuroo to the door

“Kuroo, you don’t have to go,” you say trying to get him to stay

“It’s alright, Y/N. I can see you want your alone time with him and I’ve basically been here all day. Besides, he probably much rather wants you here than me,” he says then pats your head

“Thanks Kuroo,” you say shyly

“Bye,” he says, then walks out

You head back to Kenma and see he’s not in the living room. You head up stairs to his bedroom to see if he’s there and he’s on his bed, sitting with his legs crossed and playing.

“Kenma...can we cuddle,” you ask him

He puts down his game and gets under the covers, patting his bed on the space he made for you to come lay down.

“I was getting tired anyway,” he says

He wraps his arms around your waist and moves closer to you. He nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck and kisses it.

“I love you, pudding,” he says, then drifts off to sleep.

You started stroking his hair, until you did the same.

Ennoshita

Today was a really good day. You, Ennoshita, and the rest of the team went to a theme park and had a blast. When you all entered the park, Ennoshita wanted to separate from the group, so that you could make a date out of today. You rode every roller coaster and basically lost your voice, but you had the best time and you wouldn’t have changed this day one bit. You also played a couple of the carnival games and Ennoshita won you a huge teddy bear.

While exiting the park, Ennoshita carried the bear on his back and held your hand the whole way to the van. Daichi unlocked it and you and Ennoshita headed to the back since you had this large stuffed animal.

He set the bear down, then took his seat and leaned back on the bear. He held his arms open so that you could cuddle in his arms. He wrapped them around you and held you close.

Daichi looked in the rearview mirror at the both of you and smiled.

“Ya know, they are really cute together,” he says to Suga

Tanaka overheard and decided to interject.

“I don’t know Daichi, I think she’s too pretty for him,” he says teasing Ennoshita

He shoots a glare towards Tanaka causing him to laugh

“Woah, take it easy there Ennoshita,” he says laughing

“Babe, it’s fine. At least I gave you a chance. Can’t say the same for Tanaka and Kiyoko though.”

“WOAH! SICK BURN Y/N” says Nishinoya

Everyone laughed and you started to feel sleepy, so you snuggled closer to Ennoshita.

He looked down at you and smiled.

You both get comfortable and sleep for the rest of the ride back home

 Hinata

You texted Hinata because you were home by yourself while your parents went out to run errands. You didn’t wanna be home alone and Hinata usually calms your anxieties about being alone. Always reassuring you that he’ll be there for you.

You hear your doorbell ring and look at the screen to see Hinata’s smiling face.

You buzz to let him in the gate and open the door to your house.

“Hello beautiful,” he says smiling at you

“Hi,” you say blushing and smiling back

He takes off his shoes and you give him the pair of slippers you bought for him for when he comes over.

You both enter the kitchen and get some snacks together so you could watch some tv. You watched a couple shows and some movies before getting bored.

“Hinataaaaa,” you say slightly whining

“Yes gorgeous,” he says answering

“I’m so boooooored! We should do something fun,” you say sitting up on your knees in front of him

“Like what,” he asks

“I don’t know. Something. Anything but being here”

“I saw that you have a park nearby and it has an open field. We could go there and maybe you can do some sets for me. Only if you want to. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I’m down to go. As long as we aren’t stuck here all day.”

You both get up and put on your shoes. You grab your house keys and your phone and you both leave for the park. You had a volleyball at your house because you are on the girls volleyball team at Karasuno and you and Hinata would practice together at your house.

When you and Hinata reach the park, Hinata heads straight for the volleyball net. It’s not the best, but its decent enough to play and practice. You start setting for him and helping him practice.

You do this for about 45 minutes and then take a break to go to the vending machine and get some water. 

You sit on a nearby bench and Hinata puts his arm around you. You rest your head on his shoulder and he rests his head on yours.

“Hey y/n...do you wanna head back,” he asks you

“We don’t have to if you still wanna practice,” you say knowing that Hinata would practice until he lost all of the feeling in his arms or hands

“I know you’re tired y/n. I’m not gonna keep you out here. Let’s just head back. We can always come another day,” he says smiling

“Okay,” you say with a small smile, feeling bad

“Hey, don’t feel bad,” he says cupping your,”I’m happy as long as I’m spending time with you.”

He puts his hand out for you to hold.

“Let go beautiful,” he says and you both walk to your house together

Once you get in, you pull out a blanket from the hall closet and some pillows. You nudge Hinata’s leg and get his attention.

“Cuddles,” you say pouting with puppy dog eyes

“Of course gorgeous, I thought you’d never ask,” he says with a huge song and arms wide open. You put the pillows behind Hinata and went in between his. You cover the both of you and drift off to sleep.

Hinata strokes your head, until he also falls asleep.

I hope you enjoyed this and I’m super sorry about it coming out so late ✨

[popculturebuffet]

Quick Thoughts: Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Reveal Trailer and Initial Roster

Whelp I didn’t expect to be doing another one of these so soon but welcome to quick thoughts where I give well quick thoughts on stuff instead of the longer form reviews I usually do. 

So as longtime or even short time readers of this blog might know I love NIck. I don’t review shows from it as often as Disney or Cartoon Network, but it was still a beloved part of my childhood and still makes great shows today such as the Loud House, Harvey Beaks and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s horribly mismanaged, which is why two of those shows are no longer with us and the last of them is weirdly missing from this game, and have a long and storied history of screwing things over.. and i’m not exagerating when Mr. Enter, no matter your opinon of him now, did a whole marathon of every nicktoon almost every entry included the fact the show had been screwed over in some way. 

But as anyone who knows my history with Disney will tell you just because I don’t sugarcoat a brand I like’s fuckups dosen’t mean they aren’t near and dear to me at the same time. I”m a grown up: I can have complex emotions towards a chlidren’s tv network. So I love it’s varied shows some of whom (Avatar, Harvey beaks again, Danny Phantom, Hey Arnold) are among my all time faviorites. 

Now something readers of my blog probably WOUDLN’T know is I love Nintendo, they have their own fuckups like weird release strageies and never doing a remotely decent discount like the competition, but their still a company I love and since I only play handhelds most of the time are my primary source of good shit. So naturally Smash Bros is my faviorite franchise of theres. I love the idea of fighting games but often struggle with the combo heavy nature. So Smash Bros, having a roster of some of my faviorite characters ever, a plaformer style control scheme, and a deceptivley simple style that’s easy to learn and fun to master with the right character, is my shit. Sure I won’t rush out to buy every dlc character, but you better belivie I played the hell out of Ultimate, will likely go back to it again some day, and did buy Banjo and Kazooie because fuck yeah. 

So yeah I needed to talk about Nick making their own smash bros clone. When I heard the rumors I wasn’t sure, mostly because Rumors can be just that.. but nope this game is happening and i’m all on board for it. This isn’t Nick’s first crossover rodeo in recent memory either also making a pair of Kart Racing Games: one I KINDA wanted to play till I looked at the roster, had a good laugh and lost that i want, and the other I really want to play as it seems like the first game if it were you know an actual game with a decent track selection, a deep character roster and an actual love of it’s properties. 

So making their own Smash Bros was a logical step and one i’m here for. We haven’t had any of the big cartoon networks make one since well.. Cartoon Network, and Nick has just a deep a bench to pull from, one that will hopefully get CN to get their cast to throw hands once more. 

For now though the idea of the vast history of nick all throwing hands with each other is amazing. Look i’m honest with myself: this looks like a decent smash clone,functional but nothing specail, but with the expressive character animation and solid roster you need for a game like this. I know going in i’m not going ot get Smash Ultimate quality of brawler, but i’m probably going to have fun with it. 

The only downside I see so far is , like the Kart Racers, theyd idn’t seem to get ANY voice actors for this which smacks of laziness, especially since most of the voice actors for these characters are still active, and in some cases like Spongebob or Loud House are still working with you. So you have no real excuse for this, shame on you.

But yeah the game looks good.. despite the trailer being pretty bad. It’s just some generic music set to “LOOK WHO WE GOT”. And granted look who they got is really spiffy and i’ll be diving into that in a second, but it dosen’t give any of these characters a reall chance to show off how they play or how awesome they are. It’s just a bland montage of whose in the roster in the same 2 or 3 stages. And when you have 15 stages overall to show off that’s not excusable. Again i’m not expecting Smash level quality revelas, this game dosen’t have the marketing budget, but you have a really great concept and roster here, you coudl’ve revealed it better and this game better. The Kart Racers 2 Trailer was also mildly bland but it did show off the game better, showing off several tracks and how VASTLY improved the roster was, so you CAN make a good trailer you just didn’t. It felt like they thought the poitn of all the smash reveals trailers was here’s a character and missed all the style and substance to them. 

That being said while the trailer was weak.. it was boyed by the fact this roster is REALLY damn good. Let’s face it I woudln’t even be talking about this game if the roster wasn’t this minty but they clearly learned from Kart Racers not to half ass it and while they learned the long lessons from Smash in how to promote the fighters they have, they learned the right lessons in having a nice mix of crowd pleasing faviorites for kids and vetrans alike along with a few deep cuts for said longtime fans. And this is JUST the intitial reveal roster: Given the Box Art isn’t out yet, I feel there’s more to come, especially since despite being perfect for the game there’s no one from the Avatarverse yet, but I also feel that Nick is saving that for a second trailer to announce the release date. But I can and will go into who i’d LIKE on the roster in another one of these sometime soon. -

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy (SpongeBob Squarepants): I’m getting these three out of the way as their essentially to this what Mario and Co were to smash: necessary and inevitible.  As for who was chosen.. it was as obvious as putting spongebob himself int he game. Sponebob is Nick’s mascot, Patrick is nearly as iconic and Sandy is well loved as well as the spongebob character most associated with buttkicking. Being an expert martial artist is both part of her character and a cerntral part of her character and relationship with Spongebob. So yeah not a lot ot say here: it was ineivible but I don’t mind at all having grown up with them and with my niece and nibling being huge fans. 

87 Leo and 87 Mikey (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles): This one i’m mixed on. Not on the turtles being here: i’m a MASSIVE TMNT fan and i’td be stupid to leave them out since Nick Owns them, made the last two series, and they fit this kind of game like a glove, even having had their OWN smash clone to themselves once. 

No my issue is obviously in the version choseN: The 87 turtles. Again I have no beef with the guys themselves, I haven’t seen much of 87 but I want to and they look really gorgeous and nicely cartoony. It’s just a REALLY weird choice. The 87 turtles have never been on a nick network due to rights issues, have never been associated with nick, and aren’t the ones most kids of EITHER DEMO would be familiar with: Grown up fans of nicktoons from the 90′s like myself would be more familiar with 2003, and kids and teens from more recent eras would be more familiar with 2012 and rise, which REALLY should’ve been the rep. I mean their weird shame of rise bothers me enough on a good day but not using EITHER show you actually made bothers me, it bothers me a lot. I’ll still probably play Mikey, i’m not made of stone and as I said I have no beef with the 87 turtles, I just wish nick had used the others or hell just gone all lin and used one turtle from each cartoon. I mean if your going to use stuff you’ve barely aired why not give me some 2003 nostalgia too huh? Though it could just be that since, unlike the rise and 2012 turrtles the 87 turtles have the same body type and colors it was easier to just do all 4 and just give each unique facial expressions. Who knows... I knows it was probably that. 

Lincoln and Lucy Loud (The Loud House, Duh): Another pretty obvious one as The Loud House is currrently nick’s co-flagship show with spongebob. Still waiting for my diffrent world spinoff with Bobby and Lori guys. So yeah Lincoln isn’t a suprise and Lucy is only minorly one as it was a matter of “which sister”... and Lucy is one of the most popular. Neither really fit a combat setting.. but given this is a fun crossover game, that really dosen’t matter and in fact is kind of the fun: taking just the most insane matcchups imaginable and mashing them together. I mean this is a game where Lincoln and Lucy can beat up Leo and Mikey, why wouldn’t I want that kind of crack on my nintendo switch? I am hoping for Luna to make her way to the stage next as she was absent from Kart Racer 2 and would be really fun to play. Plus having ANOTHER bi fighter in the mix if korra gets in there would be awesome, let alone letting the two beat up or punch each other’s face. But again I could and probably will mak ea whole article about other possible fighters i’d want. 

The Plesant Suprises: Nigel Thornberry , Oblina and Powdered Toast Man (Wild Thronberries, Ahhh! Real MOnsters1 and Ren and Stimpy) : Yeah while only one of these cartoons was a faviorite as a kid (Wild Thornberries)... I have nothing but respect for these choices. One of the funnest things about Smash is while you can see some roster members coming sometimes you get utter curveballs like Mr. Game and Watch, Pirana Plant and MInecraft Guy. They also go for more cult franchises like SNK or Earthbound (the latter of which is fucking awesome localize mother 3 already dammit) too among the big heavies, making it feel like a true tapestry of Nintendo’s history. 

Nigel is the only one of these three that’s really obvious. He’s a meme, he was the best part of his show.. but it’s still just uniquely batshit to put NIGEL THRONBERRY in a fighting game. You better belivie he’ll be one of my mains. 

Oblina is more a suprise because I thought they’d go with Icket, but instead went wtih the character who was more popular and had a really unqiue and cool design, so i’m pleased as punch to have her. Finally while I don’t have any real attachment to ren and stimply apart from Log, and really it’s hard to gain any now knowing i’ts creator was a pedophile piece of shit, the franchise is still a cornerstone of nick history, the rest oc the crew didn’t abuse power or not make deadlines or be a com plete piece of shit, and powerded toast man is genuinely great. I”d love to see Really Big Man too, clash of the weird superheroes, I love me a weird as hell superhero. This also speaks promisingly that w’ell get some real weird curveballs to come and i’m here for it. 

The Rest: Helga, Zim, Danny and Reptar. (Hey Arnold, Invader Zim, Danny Phantom and Rugrats! ): Note i’m not lumping these together because their bad: their all graet nostalgic picks from timeless shows and with the rugreboot currently running on Paramount+, it’d be weird not to represent them. 

And since I brought it up reptar is a fun chocie, another oddball but one more understandable as no one wants to beat the shit out of a toddler. Or rather no one playing the game would care you could because it’s a silly fighting game and a 12 and 8 year old are also beat upable, but someone would probably throw a fit somewhere. Plus again it’s a game where you can have danny phantom fight reptar. Shut up and take my money. 

The rest are all great choices if ones I’m not suprised by: Hey Arnold’s an all time classic and being tough is a lot of Helga’s character, and again I can have her throw hands with nigel thornberry, reptar and a ninja turtle in the same match. Zim is another fan faviorite and fits the game like a glove and Danny Phantom is the one out of Nick’s three suprehero classics it actually still cares about so my boy getting in there isn’t a shocker, though his attacks lookw eird. Hopefully they green them up before the final prduct. 

So yeah overall it looks really promsing and really fun and i’ll probably check this game out if I get enough money when it comes out or more likely put it on my christmas list. But I will get it somehow this i swear.. speaking of which put manny in the roster dammit. If you liked this.. thing consider joining my patreon for a buck a month fo exclsuvie reviews and ot help me review tuca and bertie, amphibia and more as part of my memebership drive. 

[spooky-draws-stuff]

Happy birthday Marvin

Description: Normally I don't write a summary about my stories but I guess I should start doing that. There is some angst in this because Marvin still has conflict with Jbm but don't worry this is the beginning of their friendship now. It's mostly just Marvin crying again.

Also I want to start a tag list for people who are interested in being notified when I post a story(Y'all tend to ignore this message) Idk you don't have to I'm just curious. (Did not mean to sound rude)

"hmm? What?" Marvin yawned opening up his eyes. "Surprise! We made you breakfast!" Chase and Jbm beamed with happiness. Together they held up a large plate of chocolate chip pancakes. "Oh? Is that for me? But why?" Marvin inquired, still feeling sleepy. Chase and Jbm carried the plate and placed it onto the kitchen table. Robbie ran over to Marvin and embraced him into a warm hug. "Happy birthday Marvin!" Robbie shouted. "what?" Marvin hugged Robbie back and then wandered over to the kitchen to look at the calendar. "Aww...you guys are so sweet."

"I made Tea!" Jameson handed Marvin a cup of tea. Schneep looked irrated as he stood by the microwave drinking his coffee. "Sorry I'm not smiling right now. I'm too tired to do anything." He muttered under his breath before refilling his cup.

After the egos finished breakfast, they all left eachother alone for a few hours. The only people in the living room were Jbm and Chase. They were playing smash bros against eachother on the Nintendo switch. Chase paused the game and left to go get a snack from the pantry. "Hey ummm...Jackie...." Marvin wrapped his arms around himself and slowly approached Jbm. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all the times I've been mean to you. I have jealousy issues. I was wrong about you. I shouldn't have been jealous of your friends and your success. For a long time it felt like you got more attention than me, and I was worried people would forget about me because they would all love you instead of me. I don't think you can forgive me, and I'm scared that you're going to hate me and then we can never be friends." Marvin pressed his mask closer to his face, before taking a few steps back away from Jbm. He turned around to leave the room, trying to fight away the tears that were starting to form in his eyes, fight the shame and embarrassment surfacing through his emotions.

Before Marvin could leave he felt a firm hand land on his shoulder. "Please don't go. Marvin I-" Jackie stuttered, struggling to find the right words. "I didn't know you felt that way about me. I didn't know you were scared."

"Felt what about me?" Marvin moved Jbm's hand away. "Are you going to finally understand why I don't trust you?" "You're not being specific enough. Either you accept my apology and hate me like you're supposed to, or just stop ruining my birthday like this." Marvin snarled.

"No no it's not like that at all. I didn't know you were jealous of me. I didn't know you were afraid that I was going to replace you. I don't hate you Marvin. You're such a nice person and you don't realize how much you mean to me." Jackie's voice sounded sad and helpless, his usual confidence disappearing.

Marvin's mask accidentally fell off. Marvin panicked and covered his face and collapsed to the floor wailing."Don't look at me, I'm ugly. I'm so horrible, I'm so sorry. I can't even express appreciation for someone without getting angry. I don't understand why I'm acting like this. Don't fucking touch me."  Marvin cried.

Jackie kneeled onto the carpet and picked up Marvin, holding him closely to his body. He gently moved his fingers through Marvin's soft brown hair. "It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Jackie slowly moved Marvin's hands away from his face. "I've never seen you without your mask before...You wear it all the time...but now that I see it....Now that I see you...you're so beautiful Marvin. So what if you have scars on your cheeks? That doesn't matter...the blue in your eyes...you're gorgeous....I can't believe you would hide yourself from the world like this." Jackie looked at the clock. "It's cake time. Maybe some presents will cheer you up. You would like that wouldn't you?" Jackie and Marvin gazed into eachother's eyes. Marvin wiped away his tears. And for the first time he gave a genuine smile, not a fake one.

"Yay!" Everyone cheered for Marvin before Schneep cut the cake. "So what kind of cake is this anyway?" Chase questioned, still chewing the food in his mouth. Jbm nudged him in the shoulder. "Hey talk when you're done eating. Don't be rude." he whispered. "Oh right sorry." Chase smiled.

"It's a mixture of vanilla and chocolate. We also have mint chocolate chip ice cream." Schneep stated, taking a bite of cake. "This ice cream is good." Jameson grinned. "Sure is." Robbie replied.

"I'm ready for my presents." Marvin shouted from the living room. "Okay, be right there." Jbm stated carrying in big box. "Is that a box?" Marvin purred. "Open it and see." Jbm hit the box with his hand.

Marvin's eyes sparkled before pulling out a fluffy blue sweater. "Hey it's that new sweater I've been wanting for a while now. Aww thank you so much." Marvin moved on to the next gift. "This one's from Chase." "Oh wow...is this what I think it is? Chase how did you get this game? I couldn't afford it." Marvin spoke excitedly. "It was on sale this week. Not sure if you were interested in trying minecraft or not. I just guessed." Chase shrugged. Marvin gave Chase a big hug. "Schneep this coffee mug is nice." Marvin complimented. "I know you perfer tea but I don't know what you like. I tried my best." Schneep sighed with worry. "No no it's a good gift doc." Marvin shook his head, speaking with honesty. He really did like his gift.

"Okay, two more." Marvin spoke out loud to himself. "Jay? Is this jewelry? It's really pretty. I'm still new to trying out earings and stuff. The makeup helps too, since I'm new to it." Marvin turned around to look at Jameson. "I hope it helps since you're not always comfortable with how you look. I know you've wanted to wear this stuff for a while now. I also bought you a new hairbrush too. It's at the bottom of the gift bag." Jameson walked over to Marvin and pulled out the hairbrush from the bag, handing it to him. "Thanks." Marvin put the hairbrush down.

"I made this painting for you." Robbie handed Marvin a watercolor portrait. "Robbie, your art is so good. Is this a painting of me?" Marvin turned to face Robbie. Robbie nodded. "Yeah. You like it?" "I love it." Marvin replied.

Beginning of tag list: @n-anon

Sorry I didn't make art for marvin's birthday. I didn't have time so I wrote a story instead.

[shhhlikeme]

Hello, could I have a request? If it’s not too much of a bother, maybe about kenma having a crush on a foreigner who’s still new to speaking Japanese, so he teaches her how to speak better, gets to know her better and finds out she’s also a gamer? Sorry if it’s too specific, I love your writing!! 🥺

Thank you so much for reading my work! I adore Kenma he is everything so thank you for requesting him. I didn’t want to stop writing this! I hope you like it!

Kenma x Foreign Student Reader

——————————

You were the absolute ONLY thing that could take Kenma’s attention away from his Nintendo switch

When you trotted into class silently that day as a new student that just moved to Japan from [Your City] Kenma just scribbled in his notebook like he always does when the teacher is talking because he didn’t hear you come in

The teacher asked you to introduce yourself and you did, shyly and in less than accurate Japanese

This got catboy’s attention

When Kenma heard your angelic voice he lifted his head up from the paper for the first time that day

Baby boy is smart af. He doesn’t even need to listen in class and he gets straight A’s

His eyes widened when he saw you. You clearly weren’t from here and he didn’t know how he felt about that

He takes a mental note that you looked.....different.

Um, good different.

VERY good different. He realized, as he studied your features

Kenma thought you were beautiful and although your introduction had grammatical errors, he found your mistakes quite adorable

You sat in front and to the left of him which was ideal for Kenma because you couldn’t really see him staring

Since Kenma is a gifted student he is always abnormally bored in classes. His teachers always took away all of his electronics so he didn’t even try anymore. This current Modern Japanese class was no exception until you joined, and as the days went by he found himself not even missing his electronics for the first time in his life because he shared that class with you

He has you to look at now

You were so pretty and interesting to him.

He wished he could talk to you

Hiding behind his hair so that he wouldn’t get caught with red cheeks and all, he sighed admiringly as he watched you listen diligently to the teacher. The way you looked when you were concentrated made Kenma’s stomach hurt because you were just so cute. Watching you made him wish he had Kuroo’s confidence when it came to girls

Maybe he would ask Kuroo for advice, albeit a mortifying thought

Day after day in class Kenma watched as you read the teacher’s lips in hopes of slowing down the language in your head better. When everyone got a worksheet in class Kenma always did his work fast and just smirked to himself because you would quietly sound out everything you were reading and translate it to English.

So cute

Kenma knew his fair share of English because of his American gamer friends, so when he heard you translate a Japanese word incorrectly, which would have been detrimental for your grade on this paper, Kenma wanted so badly to jump in to help you

But he was anxious

In silent panic, he watched you whisper the wrong answers out loud because you had translated one early sentence incorrectly .

Oh no.

You were going to fail!

What would Kuroo do??? Kenma thought.

In his animated mind, he conjured up an air bubble version of Kuroo looking down at him and lecturing him, telling Kenma that: “you are like blood that should flow towards the blood that has the most attractive body covering it which is obviously a reference to the cute foreign girl you have a crush on so STOP BEING SUCH A WUSS AND HELP HER, KENMA!”

Kenma shook his head violently. The air bubble version of Kuroo disappeared.

God, even in his made up thoughts his best friend was obnoxious

Kenma’s volleyball team, Fukurõdani’s volleyball team and Hinata all knew Kenma’s true personality.

They knew that Kenma wasn’t a shy person like most people initially think when they see him alone in the corner. In fact, he wasn’t shy at all. He just didn’t like people. Learn the difference.

And when Kenma did like specific people he still wanted them to stay at an arms length

So why did he like you so much? He was convinced that he wouldn’t mind having you closer than an arms length because of how pretty you are. Kenma liked looking at aesthetically pleasing things, and in that respect you were much much better than his games or his volleyball friends.

But jumping in to save your assignment still wasn’t him. It just wasn’t Kenma. He didn’t chat to others in class and enjoy it like everyone else in this school. He liked chatting with Kuroo, Shōyō, and his gaming pals, sure. But everyone else was slightly annoying.

But not you.

He wasn’t annoyed by you despite the fact that he’s been watching your embarassing quirks for over a week now. He felt quite the opposite for you, actually...

Completely unaware of Kenma’s daily analysis of you like you always were, you smiled as you finished your work. Ready to leave, you collected your paper, preparing to hand in the open-book assignment worth 40% of your grade. But before you stood up you felt a delicate hand on your arm, halting you.

“Uhhhh.......” You look up to see the most gorgeous boy you’ve ever seen in all the countries you’ve been in. He had striking cat-like eyes that made your heart beat faster and his voice was soft and alluring.

With a serious face, he removed his hand from your arm and pointed to your sheet. In perfect English he said, “That means “theatre audition” actually. Not “movie theatre.”

You were shocked that his English sounded better than your Japanese

Kenma felt a burst of pride within because he could infer that he impressed you with his English

You blushed and quickly started erasing the subsequent answers. “Oh my gosh, thank you so much.”

You expected the gorgeous boy to walk away after that but you were even more taken back when he pulled up a chair next to you.

His sudden movement blew breeze in your direction which wafted the mango-scent of his shampoo toward you. You almost salivated. His hair was so shiny, he was so beautiful and to top it off he smelled to-die-for.

“You made minor translation errors in question 1, 4 and 5 too. Mind if I help you? My name’s Kenma.” He asked hopefully, still speaking to you in impeccable English.

You introduced yourself too while blushing some more and of course you accepted his help

Throughout the rest of class, Kenma, talkative as ever—asked you a bunch of questions in order to get to know you. You shared with him that your parents were divorced and that you decided to move from [Your City] where you lived all your life with your mom to move in with your dad in Japan for high school and University because you loved/missed him. You told him that your dad spoke Japanese to you as a baby but you lost a lot of it living so far away and having no one to practice with.

Kenma became more and more intrigued by you. He could listen to you talk all day which would probably give his best friend a heart attack since Kuroo was put on a strict talking time limit that kicked in after 3 hours.

The more the cat boy learned about you the more he wanted to learn. Especially when you mentioned that your favourite hobby included gaming.

Kenma, being fairly asexual but attracted to you, was unfamiliar with the way the concept of you gaming turned him alllll the way on.

He imagined you beside him during his gaming weekends wearing a baggy t-shirt & just your underwear underneath like he wears.

Damn

He flushed

Let’s just say Kenma had trouble shifting inconspicuously under the desk to adjust his tightened pants when he thought about you gaming.

He mentally prepared to get himself off on the thought as soon as he got home tonight

Yep. You officially had him wrapped around your finger, and you didn’t even know it.

You had no idea that that conversation would go on forever

You had no idea that Kenma had always denied tutoring others when the Modern Japanese teacher asked, and that is why the teacher gladly allowed you two to work together

You had no idea that the rest of the class was ASTONISHED by the quiet and stunning setter of Nekoma (who does everything in his power to not be approachable and avoid social situations) going out of his way to keep a conversation going with another student

You had no idea that all the Kenma admirers were soooooo jealous of you right now

You had no idea that Kenma would glare back at the girls who glared at you and try his best to become your friend in the coming weeks

You had no idea that you both would enjoy every moment of your close friendship. A bit too much

You had no idea that, weeks later, Kuroo would force Kenma into confessing to you, even if it was over your favourite game as avatars... and you would cry tears of joy

You had no idea that you would lose your voice cheering for your boyfriend at Nationals........twice.

You had no idea that upon graduation you two would adopt an adorable kitty and name her -cinema-

You had no idea that years later, Kenma would become the husband of your dreams and that shortly thereafter you would give birth to the most beautiful cat-eyed baby girl that was a splitting image of her stunning bearded father

Just imagine daddy Kenma all grown up with a beard omg

No.... as you sat there in class trying to repeat after him the Japanese sentence on the worksheet, you absolutely had no idea

But

When Kenma asked for your number at the bell and you blushed beautifully again, he felt butterflies in his stomach by the sight, and that’s when

He did have an idea that all of that would happen.

Because love-struck Kenma wouldn’t accept anything less.

[coolgreatwebsite]

Cool Games I Finished In 2020 (In No Real Order)

Oh, hey! Right! I have a website! I’m like a week late on writing this, but what’s a week on top of an entire year of not writing, right? 2020 was... well, we all know what 2020 was. For me personally, it was simultaneously the best and worst year of my life. The worst in both ways you can probably assume and ways you definitely can’t (neither of which I’ll be getting into), and the best in ways I absolutely never would have guessed. That uncertain job I mentioned last year got very suddenly much more certain, at a much bigger company, for a much larger amount of money. That allowed me to get my own place, making my weird living situation much less weird. Still haven’t gotten the majority of my belongings off of the east coast, but if the entire world wasn’t currently fucked up by a global pandemic I’d have sorted all that out too. What I’m saying is that, for the third year in a row, my life has been a complete whirlwind that has left me very little time to get comfortable with any aspect of it. But I did manage to play more video games than I did last year! Which is perfect, because it’s once again time for another one of these. Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2020.

Astro’s Playroom (PlayStation 5, 2020)

My one word description of Astro's Playroom is "delightful". It's just an absolute goddamn delight. A total surprise too! Included with every PlayStation 5, Astro's Playroom is, in my opinion, one of the best pack-in games of all time.

First off, it's an incredible tech demo for the PS5's new DualSense controller. It was easy to brush off Sony's talk about the controller's haptic feedback and triggers as some Nintendo-style HD Rumble bullshit, but it really is incredibly cool once you get your hands on it. The game is obviously more than a tech demo though, or else it wouldn't be on here. It also just so happens to be an extremely solid and fun platformer on top of that. Astro controls exceptionally well and the levels are all well-designed and fun, even the gimmick vehicle ones designed to show off different features of the controller. It also has an oddly compelling speedrun mode, made all the more compelling by the PS5 notifying you when your friends beat your times and the ability to load into it within two seconds from anywhere on the console. But the biggest thing for me and, call me a mark, because I am, is that the game is an honestly incredible love letter to PlayStation history.

For the first time ever, Sony has pulled off a nostalgia piece without it ending up as embarrassing garbage in the vein of PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale. There's a Nintendo-like joyful reverence for all things PlayStation oozing out of every single corner of this game. There are so many nods and references and gags for literally every PlayStation thing of note throughout the the last 25 years, and then on top of that there's a whole heap more for the things that AREN'T of note that only hyperdorks like me would get! A sly reference to the ill-fated boomerang controller? Yep. A goof on the fat PS3's Spider-Man font? You betcha. A trophy you can earn by repeatedly punching a Sony Interactive Entertainment sign until it breaks and reveals the Sony Computer Entertainment sign it was slapped on top of? Yeah buddy. It's deep cuts all the way down, even up until the final boss which had me grinning like a total dipshit the entire time. The game is endlessly, effortlessly charming.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Nintendo Switch, 2020)

Animal Crossing: New Horizons was the perfect game at the perfect time. That doesn't mean it's a perfect game, I actually have some issues with it, but it could not have released at a better time than when it did. It came out at the very very beginning of everyone going into lockdown due to the pandemic, and it was the biggest game in the world for a couple of months as a result. I played like 300 hours and that pales in comparison to the amount of time many others put into it.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons is the most different Animal Crossing game there's ever been, and I'm of two minds on it. Like, I loved the game, I played a ton of it, but it's lacking so much of the stuff that made me love Animal Crossing in the first place. The series has been slowly trending in this direction for a bit now, but it's not really a game that happens around you anymore. It's all about total player control. You select where everything goes, you customize every detail of everything to your liking, hell, you can even terraform the landmass to be exactly what you want. Your neighbors take a backseat in focus and end up as little more than decorations with limited dialogue and next to no quests associated with them. Series staples like Gyroids are missing in action. Facilities and services that have been around since Wild World aren't implemented. It's similar to past Animal Crossing games in a lot of ways, but on the whole it feels like a different thing.

But like I said, two minds. New Horizons strays from what I truly want from an Animal Crossing game, but I can't deny that the game as it is is a hell of a lot of fun. There's SO much you can do and SO many options, it's super addictive. Plus it implemented my long-requested feature of letting you effortlessly send mail to friends online! Too bad the actual online play is as cumbersome as ever.

In conclusion, Animal Crossing: New Horizons is a land of contrasts. I'm kidding. It's good, but definitely missing something in a way where I can understand some people being disappointed in it. I had a ton of fun though, and I'm probably going to get back into it later in 2021.

Trials of Mana (Nintendo Switch, 2019)

Late in 2019, with the physical release of Collection of Mana for the Switch, I decided I was going to play through each game on it for the first time and finally find out what this whole Mana thing was about. I went into Final Fantasy Adventure (the first game in the Mana series, because every RPG had to be Final Fantasy back then) with zero expectations and found a totally serviceable little Zelda-like with light RPG elements. I enjoyed my time with it. I went into Secret of Mana with the expectation of it being a beloved classic and found the worst game I beat that year, hands down. That game fucking sucks. I get why it made an impression on people at the time, but it's just so so SO awful to play. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed. Honestly, I would have been disappointed even if I hadn't heard it was one of "the best games" for so long. It would have been a disappointing follow-up to Final Fantasy Adventure, a game that in and of itself isn't anything incredible. Secret of Mana is just that rotten.

I braced myself for more disappointment when (after a much needed vacation from the series) I started up Trials of Mana. This game had a reputation too, as a long-lost classic that never made it stateside. One of the best games on the Super Nintendo, criminally never released for western audiences! Like Secret of Mana before it, I'd heard nothing but effusive praise. Unlike Secret of Mana, however, I was very pleased to find out that Trials of Mana mostly lives up to the hype. From a gameplay standpoint, Trials is an improvement on Secret in almost every single way. It's not perfect. The menus are still kinda clunky, animations for things like magic and items are still frequently disruptive. But the main thing is it actually plays like a sensible video game designed by humans with brains. Attacking is responsive! Hitboxes aren't complete nonsense! You don't constantly get stunlocked to death! There are more answers to combat than casting the same spell for five straight minutes to kill your enemies before they get a chance to move! It's great!

On top of being an enjoyable video game to actually play, the presentation is top notch. Secret of Mana could be a pretty game with decent music in some spots, but Trials is consistently gorgeous and the soundtrack is across the board great instead of randomly having songs that sound like clown vomit. And while Trials of Mana doesn't have the deepest story in the world, it manages to avoid being completely paper-thin like Secret. The story actually kind of has a reason for being a bit straightforward, and the reason is that it has a really cool system where you pick your three playable characters from a pool of six. Each character has their own goals and storyline, some of which line up with other potential party members, some of which don't, and you'll even run into the characters you didn't choose as NPCs along the way. This and the relatively brisk pace of the game make it highly replayable.

I'm really glad that Trials of Mana made it over here in an official capacity, even if it was like 25 years late. It's as good as I expected Secret of Mana to be and singlehandedly saved my interest in seeing any more of the series. I'm aware the quality of what came after is very spotty, but I'll get to the rest eventually!

Final Fantasy VII Remake (PlayStation 4, 2020)

They (almost) did it. They (basically) pulled it off. They remade (a chunk of) Final Fantasy VII and (for the most part) didn't fuck it up. Ok, funny parentheticals aside, Final Fantasy VII Remake is astoundingly good coming off of over two decades of just absolutely dreadful post-FF7 sequels, side games, and movies.

Final Fantasy VII has been historically misremembered as this kind of miserable, angsty, brooding thing, both by fans and by the company that made it. FF7-branded media after FF7 itself is a minefield of changed personalities, embarrassing original characters, and monumentally lame stories. Final Fantasy VII Remake is the first post-FF7 anything that actually remembers the characters, setting, and plot of Final Fantasy VII and what made them memorable and special to people in the first place. Which isn't to say it's a slavish recreation! There's a ton of changes and additions, and I actually like almost all of them! Except for some really big stuff I'll touch on in a bit!

The combat in Final Fantasy VII Remake is great. I was super skeptical about it when the game was first announced, but they actually managed to make the blend of real-time action and turn-based RPG menuing fun and engaging. The characters all play super differently from each other too, which is a huge and welcome difference from the original game. The Materia system fits like a glove in this revamped combat system as well. The remixed music is good as hell, and the visuals are beautiful (outside of a couple of very specific spots that I'm kinda of surprised they haven't fixed in a patch yet). It's a well-executed package all around.

But alas, as always, there are negatives. For starters, this is only part one of the overall Final Fantasy VII Remake project. It goes up to the party leaving Midgar which, as you may or may not recall, is the first six hours of the original game. They compensated for this by fleshing the hell out of the Midgar section the game, ballooning the overall playtime to total of about 30-ish hours. The game feeling padded is a common complaint but for what it's worth, I didn't really feel it until the unnecessarily long final dungeon, There's also the previously mentioned and funny parenthetical'd changes and additions I don't like.

This is big time spoilers for this game so if you don't want that jump ahead to the next game on the list. The Whispers suck ass. Final Fantasy VII Remake should have been brave enough to be different without having to constantly derail everything in the most ham-fisted and intrusive way possible. You can have Jessie twist her ankle without making a spooky plot ghost trip her. I don't want to fight the physical manifestation of the game everyone thought they were getting as an end boss. If you're not doing a straight remake, that's fine, but have the fucking guts to stand by your artistic decisions without feeling the need to invent the lamest deus ex machina I've ever fucking seen. The last couple of hours of this game are 100% about the Whispers and are awful for it. It's a true testament to the strength of the rest of Final Fantasy VII Remake that this aspect didn't completely sour me on it. I can only hope that they stay dead and gone for good in the games yet to come and the remake can be different while standing on its own two feet.

I truly cannot wait for the next entry in the Final Fantasy VII Remake project. I'm excited for Final Fantasy VII in a way I haven't been since the late 90s. I have a bit of trepidation that they could royally screw it up. I mean, they already got kinda close, as I said in my last paragraph. But they got so much right in this entry that, for the first time in decades, I'm willing to believe in Square Enix when it comes to Final Fantasy VII.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim (PlayStation 4, 2020)

My one word description of 13 Sentinels is "fucking crazy". I realize that's two words, but shut up. A bizarre hybrid of visual novel, adventure game, and strategy RPG, 13 Sentinels not only makes that work, but makes it work incredibly well. 

The story is fucking bonkers. It's told entirely non-linearly and is purposefully dense and confusing, but it does an amazing job of hooking you with a cast of likable characters and some impressively well-paced twists, made all the more impressive by the fact that you can tackle the story in basically whatever order you want. I'll say it again for those in the back, the story is Fucking Bonkers. Wherever you think it's going, it's not going. Where it is going is PLACES. Seriously, if you want a wild goddamn ride, this is the game for you. The presentation is also stunning. It's a drop dead gorgeous game with a really nice soundtrack. Easily Vanillaware's best looking game, which is saying something seeing as looking good is Vanillaware's whole deal.

If I had to levy one criticism against the game, it's that the strategy RPG portion is just kind of ok. It's enjoyable enough, it doesn't get in the way and there's not too much of it, but once it starts introducing armored versions of previous enemy types it's kind of done doing anything different. It is really good at getting people to out themselves as having no idea what tower defense is as a genre though!

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (Nintendo Switch, 2018)

I haven't really historically been a "Musou Guy". Not to say I've actively disliked them, they're just not something I've seeked out very often or played very much of. Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition kinda turned me into a "Musou Guy" a little bit? It's good, surprisingly-less-mindless-than-you'd-think fun.

I actually super don't care about the Zelda branding. I think all the fanservice stuff is meh at best. What I do care about is that there's a ton of character variety and a metric shitload of content. There's so many different characters and weapons for those characters that all play differently from one another and SOOOOOO many levels to play. Like the story mode is, again, kinda meh, the real meat of the game is the Adventure mode and there's a ton of it. It's 8 different world maps, each based off a different Zelda game, with each square of the map containing a little mini-scenario with unique objectives and rewards. There has to be at least 1000 scenarios between all the maps. There's so much. And that's not even getting into some of the other side stuff like the challenge modes and the fairy raising. It's a crazy amount of game in this game.

And again, it's not as mindless as it'd seem. It's not really a game ABOUT destroying 5000 guys, it's an area control and resource management game where the 5000 guys are one of those resources. Knowing who to send where and when to fight who is way more important than pressing the XXX YYY XXX YYY on the more than one million troops.

I'd say that if you're even cursorily potentially maybe interested in a musou game, this is the one to try. And if you like it, it could literally be your forever game. A sequel came out recently too, and I'm looking forward to trying that out soon.

Phantasy Star Online 2 (Xbox One, 2020)

Phantasy Star Online 2 finally came stateside in the year 2020, eight years after its initial Japanese release and initial American cancellation. It's no Phantasy Star Online 1, but it is a really fun game in its own right provided you can find the willpower to break through its clunkiness and eight years of confusing poorly tutorialized free-to-play MMO cruft.

The main thing going for PSO2, and this is a major improvement from PSO1, is that the act of engaging in its combat is fun. The combat is just feels really really good. There's a bunch of different weapon types and classes, and once you find the ones that really click with you you're in for a good time, whether you're izuna dropping dudes with wire claws or literally doing air juggles and rainstorm from Devil May Cry with the dual machine guns.

The other stuff around that combat is weird. I generally like it, but it's weird. The story mode is one of the most bizarrely presented things I've ever seen. It apparently used to be something you'd seek out in the levels themselves, but presently it's just a list of scenes you pick from a menu and watch with next to no context until it makes you fight a boss sometimes. There's some weird moments in there that MIGHT have been cool if it were presented in literally any other way?

The systems and presentation are also way more... I dunno, pinball? Pachislot? In very stark contrast to how chill original Phantasy Star Online was, everything in PSO2 is designed in a way to maximize that flashy light bing bing wahoo you got ~*~RARE DROP CHANCE UP~*~  feeling. Which isn't to say I don't like flashy light bing bing wahoo, but it's a weird different thing.

Was it worth the wait? Yeah, sure! For me! This is another one that I played like 300 hours of! I haven't even seen half of it, I fell off right before Episode 4 released because it coincided with my move! I'm gonna go back and see all that shit! PSO2's fun! A different flavor of fun than the original, sure, but fun all the same. Another one that I'm glad finally made it over here.

Riichi Mahjong (A Table, 1924)

Holy shit I fucking did it I finally learned how to play Mahjong and it rules.

It started when I picked up Clubhouse Games for the Switch. I saw that it had Riichi Mahjong and something in my brain snapped. For whatever reason, I decided that this was the time I was going to rip the band-aid off and figure this shit out. It wasn't too dissimilar to the first time I decided to try eggs, but that's a different and much stupider story for a different time. I did the tutorial in Clubhouse Games, looked up some more basics and advice because the tutorial wasn't super amazing, and I kept playing while being aided by the game's nice helper features like the button that pulls up recommended hands. I kept playing and... sorta got it. I learned the basic rules, but none of the strategy. And then I stopped playing for a few months.

In that few months, for whatever reason, a decent amount of people I know had their brains snap the same way? Like a more-than-two amount of people I'm either friends with or following online also decided to learn Mahjong. I decided to get back on the horse and downloaded Mahjong Soul and I don't know whether it was perseverance or the power of anime babes, but this time I got it. I still refer to a sheet with all the hands and whether they work open or closed, and I'm by no means a master player, but I actually honest to god understand what I'm doing and it's an incredible feeling.

Mahjong has such a huge amount of what I like to call "Get That Ass" energy. It is the energy you feel when you get someone's ass. In Mahjong you are either constantly getting someone's ass or getting your ass gotten. Someone puts down the wrong tile and you fucking GET THEIR ASS DUDE! They're got!! They're a fucking idiot that put down the wrong thing and now you have their points!!! Or you draw what you need yourself and you're a brain genius all according to plan and everyone gives you points because you're so wise!!!! It's great!!!!!

Mahjong has long been one of those games where I'd say "I'll learn this someday" and never reeeeally actually try to learn, and I'm so glad I finally took the effort to because it's good as hell. And, truth be told, it wasn't THAT hard to learn? Like you can get to the point where I was where I didn't know the strategy fairly easily in my opinion, and once you do that It's just a matter of continuing to play to understand the rest. I highly recommended that you also go out and learn it if you similarly revel in getting that ass, it's so satisfying once you do.

Yakuza: Like a Dragon (PlayStation 4, 2020)

Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio took a big gamble with Yakuza: Like a Dragon. After seven games (more if you take spinoffs and remakes into consideration) they decided to focus on a new main character and, even more unexpectedly, they decided to change things up by turning the series into a turn-based JRPG. Their gamble paid off in spades. This is easily in my top 3 favorite Yakuza games.

The JRPG gameplay is surprisingly solid. There's definite room for improvement, but they nailed a bunch of it right out of the gate. Some mechanics are a little janky and I wish the job system was more fleshed out or just worked more like Final Fantasy V's, but they nailed one of the most important things and made the battles brisk and fun. It's a great foundation, especially for a team that's never attempted anything like this, and it's way more fun than the combat's been in any of the previous Dragon Engine games. I can't wait to see them iterate on it.

Everything else is top fuckin' notch. The music is great, the side content is fully fleshed out in a way it hasn't been since before they switched to the Dragon Engine, and I love the characters and story so much. Yakuza has a new main character in Ichiban Kasuga, and he's my son and I love him. Kiryu was great, and I love him too, but he was a bit of a passive protagonist. Stuff happened around him and he mostly just stoically reacted to it. Ichi is a much more active lead and it's great. He's a big lovable dope, and his tendency to keep an upbeat attitude and eagerness to leap into action is such a breath of fresh air. And it's not only Ichiban, since this is an RPG you have a whole party of characters and they're all great! Having them with you at all times bantering with each other and reacting to things is another great change of narrative pace, too. 

Yakuza: Like a Dragon just straight up rules. As someone who has historically not been too much of a fan of the Dragon Engine games, it's simultaneously a refreshing new take on the series and a fantastic return to form. I can't wait for what comes next. Wherever Ichiban goes, I go.

Moon: Remix RPG Adventure (Nintendo Switch, 2020)

After 23 years of Japanese PS1 exclusivity, Moon: Remix RPG Adventure finally got an English release this year for Nintendo Switch. I'm glad it did, because Moon isn't just the very definition of A Sebmal Game. It's the Sebmal Game missing link. In addition to being just a great video game, it helped me make a mental throughline for a bunch of games I love and a large part of my taste in video games.

To keep a long story short (seriously, I have a much much longer version of this saved in my drafts that I'll maybe finish someday), Moon turned out to be not the JRPG I assumed it was, given the title and basic story pitch, but a secret prequel to a game I love named Chulip. Moon's developer, Love-de-Lic, was formed by a handful of ex-Squaresoft employees, many of which worked on an extremely formative game I love named Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Love-de-Lic broke up in the year 2000 and its staff went on to form a bunch of different studios that ended up making a BUNCH of different games I love like Chibi-Robo, Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland, Dandy Dungeon, and the aforementioned Chulip. These games, when you make the connection and line them up, all have a very distinct weirdness in common that makes perfect sense once you've realized many of the same people worked on them. Figuring this all out felt like snapping a piece of my brain back in place, and it was really crazy to come to understand exactly how much this studio that formed and disbanded decades before I'd even heard of them had impacted my tastes and, hell, my life.

So what is Moon, for those who don't innately understand what I mean by "a secret prequel to Chulip"? Moon is an adventure game where you explore a world with a day/night cycle, learn about that world's inhabitants, and eventually solve their problems. Think of it kind of like The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, but if the sidequests were the entirety of the focus with no Groundhog Day time reset mechanic and none of the Zelda stuff like combat and dungeons. You play as a young boy who, after a late night JRPG binge session, is sucked into the world of the game he was just playing. Everything is off from the way it was portrayed while the boy was playing the game, though. The hero he had previously controlled is actually a silent menace, raiding peoples' houses for treasure and slaughtering every innocent animal that crosses his path in an endless quest for EXP. The townspeople seem more concerned with problems in their day-to-day lives than the supposed world threatening crisis outlined in the game's intro. It's up to you as the boy to investigate this world's mysteries, help the townsfolk, mend the damage the hero has done, and eventually restore love to a loveless world.

Speaking of love, I fucking loved Moon. I loved the story, I loved the characters, I loved the music, I loved the way it looks (even though the Switch port is a little crusty in that basic emulator-y kinda way), I loved how constantly bizarre and surprising and funny it was. Like I said earlier, it's the very definition of a game made for me. It was essentially the progenitor of a long line of games made for me, and of games potentially made for me but I don't know yet because I haven't played them due to not understanding Japanese (UFO: A Day in the Life translation next please? Anyone from Onion Games reading this??). For as similar as Moon and Chulip are in their systems and pacing, I think I might actually like Moon better despite it coming earlier? It's not as full force maximum impact absurd as Chulip is, but it is a lot more playable and less obtuse once you get a grip on the time limit mechanic. You don't need a full strategy guide included in the instruction manual for Moon, and you don't need to exchange business cards with every single character to get information vital to finishing the game either.

I truly cannot recommend Moon enough if your taste in games ventures anywhere off the beaten path. Maybe this is a little conceited of me, but I assume if you're reading this article, let alone this far down into it, you relate to my video game opinions at least a little bit? You should play Moon. Everyone reading this sentence should play Moon. Moon: Remix RPG Adventure is my game of the year for the year 2020.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Death Stranding (PlayStation 4, 2019): Death Stranding, much like Metal Gear Solid V, was a game I enjoyed for the gameplay and not much else. The story, characters, and writing were a huge disappointment for me, but man if I didn't enjoy lugging those boxes around and setting up my hellish cross-continental goon summer camp lookin' zipline network. Mr. Driller Drill Land (Nintendo Switch, 2020): I am a known Mr. Driller Enjoyer, and I enjoyed this Mr. Driller. Originally released for the Gamecube, Mr. Driller Drill Land is another long-time Japanese exclusive that finally came stateside this year and it's packed with new and novel twists on the Mr. Driller format. It looks super sharp, the music's great (also the credits music is the most impossibly out of place and extra as hell shit in the world and it's hilarious), and it's just a good ass time. The main campaign is pretty damn short, but if you're a post-game content kinda guy it has that and it's all super hard. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1+2 (PlayStation 4, 2020): They finally made another good new Tony Hawk game, and all it took was perfectly remaking two of the best old Tony Hawk games! Plays exactly like you remember it with the added benefit of the best mechanics from up to THUG1, looks great, packed full of content, even has most of the music alongside some mostly crappy new stuff. It's the full package as is, but I do hope they end up adding THPS3 to it eventually. Mad Rat Dead (Nintendo Switch, 2020): Mad Rat Dead was a pleasant surprise that I only picked up because I saw a couple of people on my Twitter timeline constantly talking about it. A fun and inventive platformer where all your actions need to be on beat with the music. The gameplay feels great (aside from some not so great performance issues on Switch), the soundtrack is fun, and it's got a real good style to it. Demon's Souls (PlayStation 5, 2020): I love Demon's Souls and this is Demon's Souls. It plays exactly the same with some minor quality of life changes. I don't agree with many of the artistic changes, but there's no denying it looks incredible on a technical level. If you want to play Demon's Souls again or for the first time, this is a perfectly valid and fun way to do so. Groove Coaster: Wai Wai Party!!!! (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Groove Coaster is one of my favorite rhythm games, and they finally made an acceptable at-home version with Wai Wai Party. It's not a perfect replication of the arcade game control-wise, I have some issues with the song choices, and the pricing is frankly fucking ridiculous if you're not a Groove Coaster maniac like I am, but the same ultra satisfying gameplay is all there. You can even play it vertically in handheld mode! Flip Griiiiiiiip!

And we're done! Phew! Honestly didn't realize I played that many good games until I typed all this out. Thanks as always for reading this far. I'm gonna try and get back to regularly posting Breviews this year at the very least. Honestly don't know if I'll get anything else up on here, but we'll see. Here's to hoping 2021 is a little bit less of a nightmare!

[jackdawyt]

Since my last news update in March, today I’m dissecting everything that has come out of the woodwork in April and May regarding Dragon Age 4. So, get some tea and let’s get this show on the road, because we’ve got over 4,000 words of news to delve into!  

Reveal? (game shows/new hire/remaster):

Following the cancellation of E3, EA Play 2020 Live has been officially confirmed as a digital show, taking place on June 11th, at 4:00 pm PST / 7:00 pm EST. 

Before the outbreak cancelled E3 2020, we knew Mike Gamble, the Project Lead on the next Mass Effect game had plans to make a physical appearance at E3/EA Play. So, the question remains, will BioWare still have a presence at EA Play this year?  

Mike Gamble is one of the key members of the Mass Effect team, I highly doubt he’s talking about revealing the next Mass Effect game which is currently in very early stages of development, and won’t release until after Dragon Age 4. Perhaps, Mike back in 2019 was hinting at revealing the heavily rumoured Mass Effect Remaster this EA Play?

Earlier in May, EA had a quarterly conference call and it revealed some fascinating information regarding future unannounced titles. Currently, EA have “one more EA HD title, Four EA Partner titles and two mobiles games still unannounced”. Also, EA said "multiple titles" are set to launch on Nintendo Switch this year.

The EA HD title refers to a remaster of an EA game, hence why most people are speculating at the Mass Effect Trilogy. Venturebeat went on to officially state that this title was indeed the Mass Effect Trilogy.

So, there’s one rumoured possibility for the Mass Effect Trilogy Remaster to be revealed this EA Play, which is cool! BioWare may have a presence this year after all! But I know you all didn’t come for Mass Effect; you came for Dragon Age. So, what do we know about that franchise and a potential reveal?

Jo Berry, a Writer at EA retweeted EA Play Live’s announcement with a party emoji! 👀  

This could be absolutely nothing, but at a whim, perhaps a reference to a Dragon Age 4 teaser, or EA Motive’s new I.P since she has worked within both teams....  

On top of that, Brianne Battye, Writer at BioWare tweeted about her 8-year journey at BioWare. She’s very grateful for sharing her work, and the awesome people she’s worked with along the way.

Patrick Weekes replied saying they: “Cannot wait for everyone else to see what you've been working on recently. :)”

Then, Brianne said: “Right back at you :)”

Two HUGE witters on the Dragon Age team are excited for everyone else to see what they’ve all been working on recently! 👀 When I saw this tweet, I was trying to stay calm and keep my expectations low, but come on when you see a tweet like this, you just get so excited! The question is, when will we see what they’ve been working on, and is it anytime soon? Please?

Well, there is something else we need to talk about that may relate to a potential tease.

Hilary Heskett, who used to be EA’s Global Product Manager has returned to work at EA and BioWare. Put simply, she’s a Digital Marketer for BioWare.  

Hilary; particularly, was heavily involved in Dragon Age: Inquisition’s marketing! In fact, the majority of her work at EA involved representing BioWare as a brand online creating trailers, key art, screenshots, packaging, and advertisements. So, it’s a fair assumption that she’ll be fulfilling the exact same role for future BioWare titles like Dragon Age 4.  

With Hilary joining the team at this point in development, could the marketing stages of Dragon Age 4 soon begin, perhaps at EA Play? Or later on in 2020? Or is she going to be marketing the Mass Effect Remaster?

I sound impatient, but, in the past BioWare have a habit of starting the marketing stages of their products at least two years before an initial release.  

With that, we’ve got to ask ourselves, is hiring a marketer at this point in time a mere coincidence? or is it preparation for when marketing does start? Are we on the verge of seeing Dragon Age 4 official content soon?  

Not to waffle on, because we’ve got a lot to talk about in this video, but I was hired as a Digital Marketer for an app company in the UK. As I understand it, you normally enter projects, mid-to-end of production, because what would a marketer do in the early stages logically? Your role is to be there for the advertising of the product.  

So, in BioWare’s case, it's my understanding that Hilary has joined the team with one year full-swing production, is she about to begin the marketing stages of the next Dragon Age game? Is the game ready for that stage? If anything, I think with Hilary’s background, she’s the perfect person to market Dragon Age 4.  

On top of EA Play, Geoff Keighley announced Summer Game Fest, a new industry-wide celebration of video games. Showcasing digital news, In-game events, & playable content. EA are headlining the event with EA Play, but there are many other world premieres spread throughout the summer. So, there’s a potential for other trailer reveals later on in the year, not to mention The Game Awards.

And, there’s also this leak that shows Dragon Age 4 on a list of PS5 games from the newest issue of PlayStation magazine UK. PlayStation are having an event on June 4th, so we’ll find out if this leak is true soon enough.

If we’re going to see anything Dragon Age 4 related this year, EA Play is the biggest contender for a reveal. I know the whole world could do with that right now! At this current moment, there is no schedule for the show. However, Saria, myself, Fusselkorn and maybe other content creators will be streaming EA Play, no matter what, so turn those reminders on and come join us in our clown suits.

Development (teases/production):

Moving on to teases and development updates. Currently, BioWare are hiring a ‘Senior Outsource Producer.’

This is a pretty big deal, to those who don’t know what a ‘Senior Outsource Producer’ would do...

“Outsourcing development means to hire out any process of a business to third party. The process helps your company or organization to grow.”

To grant more perspective, during Mass Effect: Andromeda’s development, major aspects of the game's animations were outsourced to other EA studios. 

However, this isn’t going to be the same for Dragon Age 4, this role is for one Producer to help the outsourcing team into a robust and comprehensive department that supports BioWare projects in all aspects of development.  

I have friend in triple AAA games, and they had something to say about outsourcing regarding Dragon Age 4: “To be honest, I'd say (outsourcing is) different per studio due to scope. But with something big like Dragon Age I'd probably say outsourcing would start early to mid-production as they have a hell of a lot to do. Some studios outsource from the get go though so that's also possible. And It's rare that outsourcing starts in the final leg of development.”

What I understand from the job posting is that BioWare are looking to hire a producer who will be dedicated to outsourcing so they can establish a pipeline and maintain proper standards for outsourcing. This hiring was posted in May, so the studio might be a few months early from when they actually have to outsource. However, this process will be coming up soon in major development.  

Moving on. In early April, Mark Darrah went on a twitter rampage sharing many tweets relating to Dragon Age 4. One tweet stated: “Is tweeting more going to make you all speculate more or less?”. Followed by a poll with the answers “more”, “less” & “Dragon Age 4!?”

The following week, Mark Darrah teased his three Wolf-Rook books he has placed on a shelf at home.

Later on, in the month, he decided to stack each of them, prompted with the caption: “Spoiler: these are a terrible building material…”

Just last week, Mark tweeted the Wolf-Rook book once more, with the following meme: “Dear men, what is preventing you from looking like this?”

This cheeky tease encouraged Melissa Janowicz (Gameplay Designer) to join the fun and share her own Wolf-Rook book! She said: “It's an absolutely gorgeous book. I'll treasure it for life.”

Ahhh. The secrets these books could hold about Dragon Age 4’s core concepts.... And Mark Darrah is just staking them together, making book forts out of them, as you do! 😂 Maybe one day, we’ll uncover the secrets held within every page, but that day is not yet upon on.

On the same memey day, Chris Anderson, (Application Development/Publishing Support at BioWare) tweeted: “Other people are teasing things, so what the hell, here's an image that I used in something I was working on today.” With a pink image shown.  

Chris and Melissa followed a Twitter conversation about pink being the “perfect colour for when you need something that screams temp.”

Basically, this pink actually has some context for the development of Dragon Age 4. ‘Temp’ means temporary textures, the first blocked out layer of a texture before actual detailed textures are added.

This can refer to many scenes or models in the early texturing phases, as art assets are still in the approval stages. On a wild, out-there whim, perhaps the team are wrapping up a trailer for a reveal? Maybe?... please?

John Epler (Narrative Director) shared his most controversial opinion of all time:

I loved the Hinterlands, but as a fan of the previous Dragon Age game’s ‘linear with freedom' approach, I appreciate John’s take on open world’s since Dragon Age: Inquisition, perhaps this will shape the way forward for future BioWare titles?  

Alix Wilton Regan, voice actress of the Female British Inquisitor retweeted Autumn Witch’s poll asking if people believe the Inquisitor will return as a voiced appearance in Dragon Age 4. Alix tweeted: “C’mon #DAI Fans, you know what to do ;)”

Patrick Weekes replied to Alix’s post with an eye's emoji 👀.... I think I speak for everyone when I say, in some capacity, the Inquisitor has got to return in the next game!

In another tweet, Patrick Weekes teased potential new companions when a Twitter trend placed 5 Dragon Age characters in 6 different camps went around the platform.  

When choosing their preferred camp, Patrick Weekes tweeted: “Finally, in Camp 7, it's turned into a bit of a mess, with coffee grounds spilled everywhere and the couch inexplicably on fire after a drinking game gone wrong. But that's another story.” 

Of course, there’s not much to tear apart here, but we have acknowledgement of the next party members! It sounds like they’re a wild bunch already!  

In early April, Mark Darrah answered a few current development tweets:

So, that’s...Splendid.

Karin Weekes (Editor) tweeted that they “got to sort/catalog/document updates to made-up languages at work today.”  

Following that tweet, @ladyiolanthe asked Karin: “Do you think BioWare might ever be able to release Qunari, Dwarvish, and Elvhen lexicons in a World of Thedas Volume 3 sort of book? Or is that unlikely since they're ciphers and maybe there isn't a standardized grammatical structure, etc?”

Karin replied with: “That’s an interesting idea - I, for one, would find it a hoot! I might send out some feelers…” Any books of made-up languages I can get my hands on would be greatly appreciated!  

Alain Baxter, (‘Production guy’) tweeted: “BioWare review of content today. All I can say is “Scriplet”. 😎

Apparently a ‘Scriptlet’ is an action verb. Alain is teasing premature scripts as they ‘perform their function’ So, something exciting is going down in the scripts, to be worked on in-engine. Or maybe it’s just an inside joke?

John Epler tweeted a great design message about “how 90% of ‘bad’ decisions are, in fact, the best decision at the time. For John, that will always be the camera zoomed conversations in DA: I. People didn’t like it, and asked why not just make them full scenes. But that’s not the decision they make in-house. It was 'make them simple conversations or else cut them'. Game dev is all about making the best decision you can at the time, with the resources you have .A lot of stuff you thought was weird or awkward came down to a gut call of 'this is the best I can make this and I trust it's good enough'. Sometimes we're right, sometimes not.” 

 Awesome words to think on, Dragon Age 4 will be amazing, I’m sure, but just remember to set your expectations right and realise everything design-wise, happens for a reason.  

Shifting to other design aspects. Jos Hendricks (Senior Level Designer) tweeted:

Mike Jungbluth (Animation Director) tweeted: “Just reviewed something in game that hit THIS LEVEL! Hot damn, moments like this are what I live for.” 

Both tweets are incredibly excited and telling of development for Dragon Age 4, it sounds like they’re building and prototyping an epic scene equivalent in scale to the attack at Haven scene? Perhaps, Solas destroying the Veil? Who knows, but it sounds epic, and I’m living for both dev.'s enthusiasm!

For the final tweet regarding the development side is from Åsa Roos (Principle UX Designer)

A UX designer writing about Solas? That must be for codex entries? Right? More lore on our Rebel God!  

Unannounced Dragon Age Game:

In my previous March news update, I discussed brashly about the developers on Dragon Age 4 still claiming that this project has not officially been announced yet, however, The Dread Wolf Rises teaser in 2018 certainly alluded to an announcement regarding the next Dragon Age title. Following this story, we have many sources providing clarity on Dragon Age 4’s current ‘unannounced’ situation.  

Patrick Weekes confirmed that they are “working on an unannounced game in the Dragon Age universe.”

Patrick said: “We would LOVE to be able to say more. We are really excited about what we’re working on. But we can’t share anything right now. Sorry!”

In April 2019, I painted this unannounced situation rather conspiratorial, I said that perhaps the Dragon Age dev’s can’t share anymore on the next game because Anthem was the next project, and EA are forcing them to not speak on Dragon Age. In an attempt to maintain the crowd by not letting BioWare developers regard Dragon Age 4 as the next working project in the works.

However, I don’t think it’s that deep. I think the developers are just under an NDA, and literally can’t speak about the game.  

In Episode 121 of the Anthem-based ‘Freelancer Codex’ Podcast - as a guest, Melissa Janowicz shared that the developers on the secret Dragon Age team cannot talk about the next game, in fact, they can barely talk about the contents of The Dread Wolf Rises teaser trailer.

Chris Anderson also emphasised this same point in a tweet:

As a side not, someone asked Chris why not lie and come up with fake answers to fool the fans, and Chris said: “That can, unfortunately, get me in nearly as much trouble!”

Which shows the validity and value in BioWare developer tweets. The developers can’t just lie about the project either. Which honestly helps someone like me out.

As we know, a game is coming, yet it’s still is very much unannounced, probably because as Jason Schreier reported in 2018, Dragon Age 4 is going to change at least 5 times in the next two years, perhaps BioWare don’t want to show us anything because they don’t want to set anything in stone, or show gameplay that is not representative of the final game.  

But that doesn’t extend to a CGI trailer, or a full title drop, Maker knows that would be amazing, and is within the realm of possibility.

New Lore/Fun:

We have some new lore, and other fun things I wanted to share.  

Dragon Age Comic Writer, Nunzio DeFillipis talked HUGELY about the red lyrium idol and what was originally planned for their comics.

Nunzio recently mentioned in the Unofficial Bioware Forums that the comic characters from Deception were originally chasing the red lyrium idol.

Nunzio stated that the original plan for the comics would've had the characters retrieve the red lyrium idol. Only to have Solas take it back. Eluding to the idol's planned whereabouts before the plot changed since Joplin's cancellation and BioWare's shift regarding this idol in the comics.

Does this still mean that the location of the red lyrium idol is most likely in the hands of Solas and might only be discovered in Dragon Age 4? Or does the next protagonist have a shot at retrieving the idol before Solas finds it?

It seems like a bummer that the original comic idea was scrapped and the writers were forced to change narrative direction regarding this particular idol.

As a funny tweet I saw. Emily (Domino) Talyor tweeted using her overheard in the office hashtag:

BioWare dev’s can’t even tell their kids, folks.

And, regarding the Fuzzy Freaks livestream. Patrick Weekes’s response to my question, asking how does Solas kill dwarves in their sleep if they have no connection to the Fade, was “very effectively.”  This will be a mystery I will personally be investigating when we have our hands on the game.  

Considering it was really fun for those who watched the Fuzzy Freaks livestream, I’m going to share other silly takeaways:

Patrick Weekes doing a New York accent for the Carta Dwarf is amazing!

“DREAD DUMBASS” - is a jokey dialogue option that Karen Weekes scribbled notes for future reference.  

Patrick likes soft romances and happy endings! IRONICALLY.

Patrick’s style of writing is less high fantasy and more modern.

@DrunkDalish, Co-founder of Dragon Age Day interviewed both Karen and Patrick Weekes. As a lover of Dragon Age lore, these interviews reveal so many loving tidbits that you should read for yourself. However, something I noted that was very significant regarding the future is based on Masked Empire’s ending. So, spoilers for that, but Felassan’s fate isn’t what it seems. Perhaps this elf could come back in the future if needed.

Wellbeing:

And, we come to the last topic, this one is centred on the BioWare staff’s wellbeing. Last year, there was a Kotaku article revealing the crunch and working conditions at BW, there was a lot of worry and confusion in the air that the people working on these games were struggling mentally because of senior management and many other reasons. With that in mind, I’m dedicating a section in these news updates to the wellbeing of the developers, any signs/tweets of positivity and hope will be shared in an effort to see if there has been any change in the BioWare offices since Anthem’s release.

It seems like things are going pretty well and people seem happy and optimistic about the next Dragon Age.  

If there are any major updates to a Dragon Age 4 tease at EA Play, I'll be sure to make an update video, but otherwise, be sure to join our livestream as see for ourselves what waits us this EA Play.

Let me know your thoughts down below, what do you think about a potential EA Play teaser, where are your expectations at?

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #482

Top Ten Sega Games

So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).

I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.

Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).

So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.

Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.

Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.

Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.

After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.

Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.

Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?

Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.

The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.

Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.

[sage-nebula]

How come you think twilight princess is one of the worst Zelda games? I wasn’t really in the zelda scene when it first came out but it was one of the first zelda games I played, so I’m not sure if there were issues when it actually came out or what. Granted I didn’t actually finish the game so I don’t really know how it ended but from what I played I enjoyed it, so I’m just wondering your thoughts? Also this isn’t intended to be like rude or anything so if it comes across that way I’m sorry!

You’re not rude at all, it’s a fair question!

So, honestly, my first issue with Twilight Princess is actually something that has nothing to do with the game itself, but is actually a petty grudge I’ve been holding against Nintendo for years. Twilight Princess was originally planned to be a Gamecube exclusive. They announced it years before it was remotely ready, as was Zelda tradition, and then kept announcing planned release dates before pushing it back again, and again, and again, as was again Zelda tradition. But then they did what I’m sure many people older than I was at the time could have predicted would happen: They delayed it solely so that they could port it to the Wii, and release it as a launch day title for said Wii.

Now, this on its own would have been fine, but . . . despite it being completely finished, they delayed the release of the Gamecube version by months to entice people to buy the Wii and the Wii version of the game. I was a poor kid who had to wait a couple years after the Gamecube’s launch (three, iirc) to get it as it was because we couldn’t afford to get it at launch, so the idea of being able to get the Wii on launch was extremely laughable, especially if you remember how hard it was to get it back then. This meant that I was going to have to wait even longer to play a game I’d been waiting actual years for, all because Nintendo wanted to push their new system. Thankfully it seems they learned their lesson since they released both the Switch version and the Wii U versions of Breath of the Wild on the same day (albeit I got the Switch, but still), but I still think that was a very scummy move of them and it will always taint my memory of Twilight Princess.

That said, for the game itself my gripes were:

The dungeons were just too long. It’s likely because of my ADHD, but I have a limit when it comes to the length of dungeons. Wind Waker was already pushing it, but Twilight Princess just went above and beyond with how fucking long those dungeon crawls took. I spent something like two hours in Arbiter’s Grounds alone. Two hours!! And it’s not that I didn’t know what I was doing, because I had a damn strategy guide to help me when I got stuck. That’s just how long it took to get through the damn dungeon. I don’t find super long dungeon crawls like that to be very fun. I prefer to explore the overworld instead.

While I love the aesthetic, the world was visually pretty boring. I love the aesthetic of twilight and wolves and all that, but there was way too much effort put into ~realism~ in Twilight Princess that made the overworld a bunch of varying shades of brown and brownish-green. I get that was to fit with the ~twilight~ theme, but I feel like they could have gone with that theme and aesthetic without making the overworld look so boring. I can’t remember anything really visually stunning from that game, whereas games like Wind Waker and Breath of the Wild are gorgeous to look at. (Skyward Sword is, too; its graphics were not one of its problems.)

I just could not get invested in the characters at all. Again, this is a subjective issue, but for a game that was packed with characters, I just didn’t find most of them compelling. I really wanted to like Ilia, especially since it felt like she was supposed to be like Malon would be if Malon had been more involved in Ocarina’s plot, but even though she had amnesia from her kidnapping(?) and Link was supposed to be sad about it, I just didn’t feel that. Zelda had a gorgeous design, but it was wasted because she was basically a non-entity. Zant started off interesting, but then he turned into a total joke. And Midna, well . . .

I felt betrayed she wasn’t a villain. This is 100% a Me problem and I totally own that, but when I played Twilight Princess, there was this part near the beginning where Midna calls Link “[her] lonely little hero,” and that is SUCH a villain line that I got hyped up for a plot twist wherein she was evil all along. Then she wasn’t, and she was instead just a woobie, and I just . . . lost interest completely. Any traits that I might have liked in her were already done by Tatl (snarky, takes Link’s help because she has no other options, warms up to him over the course of the game, etc), and while I love Tatl, I think she should remain her own character rather than having an expy. Also, unpopular opinion, but I like Midna’s imp form more than her princess form. She was just a disappointment to me all around.

I also found the story to be lacking. Perhaps because I couldn’t get invested in the characters, I also couldn’t give less of a hell what the plot was about. Granted it’s been years since I’ve played it, but it’s also been years since I played Wind Waker or Skyward Sword and I remember those perfectly well. But Twilight Princess? Uhhhh, Zant stole the Forged . . . Forsaken . . . Forbidden . . . Fused? F-Something Shadows from Midna and also stole her power, which is why she’s an imp. He took over the Realm of Twilight. Now he’s spreading Twilight over Hyrule because Ganon Said So. The end? It honestly felt like the story was more of an excuse to have a pretty aesthetic and turn Link into a wolf. It just didn’t do it for me.

So while there were plenty of people that really liked Twilight Princess, I was not one of them. It wasn’t the worst game I’ve ever played, or even the worst Zelda game I’ve ever played, but it’s definitely not one of the best. 

[minieflwr]

writing sample ║ 1

Jimin is awfully conscious of the fact that he’s staring. Has been doing so for the past half an hour or so while sipping on his red cup, not even grimacing the tiniest bit as the strong booze fills his cheeks and eventually runs down his throat. He’s high out of his mind, all sense of time long gone, so he has no idea how long he’s already been shamelessly staring down Jungkook from across the crowded room despite the dancing and standing bodies blocking his view at times, but he also doesn’t care. Can’t bring himself to, because Jungkook is not paying attention to him anyhow, way too busy being wrapped up in the beautiful brunette hanging onto his every word. She looks gorgeous when she laughs and throws her head back, gripping onto Jungkook’s arm in the process to seek physical touch and Jimin hates how he’s so affected when Jungkook reciprocates the intention by leaning closer into her, how his entire heart fills itself with self-pity and other alien feelings he struggles to pinpoint when Jungkook says something into her ear that makes her giggle even more.

He should look away. He knows he should. He should get up and find Taehyung, come up with some excuse like how the last hit of the weed knocked him out so badly it’d be better for him to be heading back to the dorms. That would only be half a lie, he figures. He should, but for all the reasons Jimin’s suddenly way too aware of, he’s not doing any of that. No, he can’t force his eyes away from the scene if he tried. He’s practically drinking Jungkook in, remembers how the same pretty lips have kissed his not only 48 hours ago in the safe haven of their dorm, hidden away in the darkness for no one to see or ever know. But Jimin knows. Jimin knows how Jungkook feels against him, how his kisses knock the breath out of his lungs and make his heart skip multiple beats, almost sending him into cardiac arrest. He lets his eyes roam and if he had any self restraint left up until this point, it’s completely out of the window now.

It’s dumb. It’s so dumb and stupid and it makes him run his fingers through his bleached hair in frustration. Jimin’s been with men before, hell, he’s known he was gay as early as middle school when all the boys in his class started crushing on Megan Fox but he wasn’t able to understand the appeal when there was Shia LaBeouf with his dorky yet sexy smile. He gets attention by males and females alike and one night stands aren’t a rare occurrence for him either. Maybe as of late, but the silent, unspoken agreement he has with Jungkook since the start of the semester thrills and satisfies him enough to not seek affection anywhere else. Point is, Jimin is far from inexperienced, but no one has ever left him wanting and aching for someone as much Jungkook does and it’s a scary revelation. Because Jungkook is his friend, his dorm mate and most importantly-- straight. Jimin watches how they’re conversing now, laughing and alternating between talking into each other’s ears and yelling over the thumping music. He wonders when he had started to like Jungkook this much, when exactly his heart and brain started to be so consumed by him, but he fails to come up with an answer. 

Jimin, in his dazed state of mind, angrily wonders how the girl would feel if he was to trot over and tell her all about the things Jungkook and him have done. He entertains the thought. What if he told her about all the secret touches, the late night cuddles? About the kisses between whimpers and shaky breaths? How they’ve been doing this for months? Would she still want him then? Possibly Jungkook and Jimin could leave the party together and play some Nintendo Switch until they’re so tired they can’t see a thing on their screens anymore. Jimin likes the thought of that and the instant warmth that ignites in his chest. If he plays this right, he could simply follow her upstairs the next time she steps away to use the bathroom and take his chance.

He stops. He can’t believe the path his thoughts are taking, driven by ugly emotions he’s so far been unfamiliar with. He blames the alcohol, the weed and Taehyung for bringing it and making him do it in the first place. He does not remember having had such a selfish thought before, especially about exposing someone like Jungkook. His kind, funny and bright Jungkook. Except Jungkook is not his and Jimin’s painfully reminded as he sees the hazy smile on the other’s face from where he’s sat across the room. He remembers thinking how it was possibly fair for someone to look like that before Jungkook leans down and presses his lips against the girl’s in a bruising kiss, hands coming to rest on her hips and Jimin feels like throwing up. 

He barely registers Taehyung’s arm around his shoulder or the weight on the couch next to him, his insides hurting and his brain chanting for him to leave, to go home and to cry so achingly bad he almost gets dizzy. His heart beats so fast against his ribcage, a sensation that’s not out of the ordinary when the cause is Jungkook, but this time it’s different. It hurts, it makes him angry and he wants to get out of here, doesn’t want to watch for a second longer than he needs to, so he averts his gaze for the first time in way too long, telling his heart to shut up repeatedly. It doesn’t work.

Tae starts talking about something that has happened to him while he was gone looking for drinks but Jimin doesn’t hear him as his ears are ringing, blocking out everything and everyone. "Hey, sorry, I’ll be leaving. I’m really tired,” Jimin cuts him off mid-sentence, not even attempting to put on a fake smile. Tae gives him a surprised look, followed by “Oh. Already?” so Jimin continues to explain how he’s been up since 6 AM this morning and Tae ends up not quite believing him but also not pushing the matter, much to his relief. After Tae asks Jimin five times if he is sure about being okay, and Jimin always answering that yes, he’s okay, Tae tells him to pinky promise to text once he’s home. Any other day he would appreciate his best friend’s concern, but right now he only wants to be anywhere but here.

Unconsciously he dares to steal one last glance at the pair across the room when his eyes suddenly lock with Jungkook’s and the gaze is so intense, Jimin swears his knees are about to give in. Jungkook is staring at him while he still has his tongue down the girl’s throat and Jimin gasps.

[tearasshouse]

Vidya ramblings pt 3B

Previous list here.

Onwards and upwards to the B-tier games. I guess its a good sign that we have so much to play, and that the general bar for quality has risen so much year on year, such that B-tier games would easily slot into my A-tier list in a slower year, or C-tier games slotting into B-tier for that matter. I have to deliberately go looking for chaff these days, is what I’m saying. “B-tier games” sound worse than what they actually mean on my list: those I had very few qualms about, or their strengths were enough to compensate for their shortcomings and I generally looked forward to firing them up instead of doing so out of my completionist’s sick, demented obligation. So! Pat yourselves on the back, game devs.

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (N3DS)

I’m not an FE mark by any means, but when I’m looking for something to play on a Nintendo platform (3DS is the only one I own), FE games are invariably among the scant handful of their franchises I turn towards. Awakening was my first FE, so as a latter day entrant I have to judge all future games by that metric. I wouldn’t outright call Echoes the better game, although it is a better game in many aspects. The “feet on the ground” dungeon exploration is a nice addition; the art is absolutely gorgeous, the soundtrack is stellar, and despite not having the romances or pair-up feature, the combat was solid, even if the maps and objectives are very rote and frankly dull. The cast was very enjoyable, and plot well, it’s typical dragons and destiny and royalty will save the day, blah blah vanilla FE storytelling. It was a nice distraction in the early months of the pandemic, but I might have to give the edge to Awakening here. I am looking forward to playing all 3 routes of Fates sometime this year or the next though.

Final Fantasy VII Remake (PS4)

Finally, I hear you groan, an actual 2020 release. Certainly the most lavish remake I’ve played since... RE2? I should have more nostalgia for this game, as the OG was technically my first JRPG and I’d spent an entire summer on it, with my friend’s PSX copy and his strategy guide laid out in front of me. But, I went into this with hype in check and nostalgia completely dulled, maybe because I actually am just a dried up, withered out old fart with a prune for a heart? Anyway, game is pretty good, there isn’t much to say about it that others haven’t already gushed over or criticized to death. I will say though that it’s been a while since a game’s difficulty tuning and mechanics absolutely kicked my ass. You need to learn the combat system in this or you won’t get very far, certainly not on Hard Mode anyway. I’m a bit wary about the 2nd and 3rd (possibly 4th?) entries in this project. Just how will they re-interpret the world map? How are they possibly going to tie everything up? How much of the OG game will be cut or reconfigured, and how much will be filler? Will we have to sit through more of those interminable “slide through narrow crevices to mask our shit loading times” sections? Will the environment textures actually load up properly? 

Hades (EGS)

Yeah, it’s a Supergiant joint, and I’m a mark for Greek mythology, what more do you need? The only reason it’s on a lower rung here, and it’s not a fault of the game so much as what I look for in games. I’m just not much of an arcade-style, score attacker or rogue/rogue-lite player. If I wanted creative re-use of assets with super high replayability, I’ll go for a MP shooter, or an immersive sim. All that is to say that the game is rather short and repetitive (by design), and the drip-feed of story, character development, unlocks or trying out new builds and personal challenges just doesn’t do it for me. What is here is quality, through and through without a doubt and the whole 31 hours it took me to do my first clear (again, one and done - that’s all for me) were just good old fashion gaming fun.

Death Mark (PS Vita)

Vita means life! This game gets the dubious distinction of being the last physical Vita game I’ll ever buy (I was as surprised as you you must be, mhm!). The only reason it’s on the B-tier list and not the lower rung is a testament to its successfully creeping me out from beginning to end. Which is saying something, because it’s a typical horror story of urban legends manifest as hauntings and curses, done as a very low budget VN fashion. If you’re used to VNs with more QoL features like in ye olde Steins;Gates or some such, well, you’ll be quite disappointed here. No text logs, no touch controls, extreme reuse of very limited assets, etc. I understand that the dev, Experience are uhm, experienced DRPG makers, and that influence is certainly felt in the “boss battles” here, though they are somewhat clunky and use adventure game logic, which is to say not very logical or poorly explained. This is also on Steam, Switch and PS4 so... go forth and acquire.

Gravity Rush Remastered (PS4)

Unlike Tearaway Unfolded, I will say that the PS4 version is the way to go with superior controls, performance, visual fidelity, etc. You lose nothing by going to the big screen. Still one of the most charming things Sony has put out, and like it’s successor, it’s still a somewhat underbaked game. The definition of a cult classic or a B-tier perennial, simply swimming in well-earned 7s. This would rate higher (while still within the B-tier) had it not been my 3rd time going through this, but newcomers will be treated to something fresh and special. Anytime I get to shill for Gravity Rush is an opportunity I will gladly take.

Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End (PS4)

The very definition of a B-tier game in my books! Well crafted and big budgeted enough by the task masters, technicians and actors at Naughty Dog to garner a guaranteed spot here. Again, I don’t mean to sound backhanded, but it’s really hard to truly love something this big, with this much broad appeal and craftsmanship. It really is everything that’s right (and wrong) with Sony’s (Western) first party output this past generation. I was slackjawed during the Madagascar car chase, touched during the dramatic moments between Nate and crew, the flashback sequences with Young Nathan were done really well (again, walking sim sections one and all), and UC4 reminded us about why pirate adventures are awesome (themes of obsession and seeking treasure at your own peril be damned). Crushing Mode in this one is truly diabolical (in the not satisfying, simply die-lots way), while the MP is... okay? Forgettable for the whole hour I devoted to it.

SOMA (Steam)

A downer of a sci-fi tale about post-humanism (or transhumanism?), deceptively snuck within a fairly spooky horror thriller. It’s made by the Swedes behind the Amnesia games, partly set in a curious recreation of my hometown of Toronto, about an average dude going through some pretty extraordinary circumstances, and none of it is treated with extraordinariness. It’s definitely a muted affair, and contributes to that grounded, depressing tone. Yeah the human race is long dead and the few consciousnesses left alive are going to live out the rest of their existences in virtual reality until the batteries run out, so what? Get to it, Simon. Smart and logical spatial puzzles underpin the walking sim aspect of the game, and though there’s the slight survival horror/stealth element, I played on Safe Mode cos I could only imagine how frustrating it would be to die to those things. Check it out, it’s great, but it’s not for everyone and in a pinch I wouldn’t want to play something like this, which is why it ends up here in the B-tier.

[theirrationalzone]

My Top Ten Games of 2020

Let’s just address the giant elephant in the room from the offset: 2020 has been one giant mess of a year. Every event, every major moment this year just felt like the worst case scenario every time.

For a lot of us though, there was one saving grace: video games.

2020 has been a damn fine year for video games. From the return of certain classic franchises to some amazing new entries and experiences. Gaming really managed to thrive in a year where other entertainment mediums such as films and television struggled.

Let’s dive in and take a look at some of the games that made this year a lot more bearable:

10: Watch Dogs Legion

I’ve had a soft spot for Ubisoft’s hack ‘em up franchise for quite a while. I didn’t think the original was as disappointing as it was made out to be and I thought the second one was an underrated gem. When Legion was first announced, I liked a lot of what the game was setting out to do but I wasn’t ready to pull the trigger on getting it. I decided to give the game a chance in the end and I’m glad I did.

Legion might suffer from the same pitfalls that have plagued other Ubisoft enterprises, but the recruitment mechanic is one of the coolest systems I have seen in any game ever. The fact that you can recruit any NPC that you see on the streets of London and use their unique talents to complete your objectives is just an awesome thing in and of itself. Its depiction of London is also incredibly fun to explore and cause mayhem in. While I found the writing to be pretty subpar, the game quite buggy and the whole PS5 upgrade fiasco a farce, I still found Legion to be a fun open world experience overall.

9: Resident Evil 3

Resident Evil has been on a real hot streak as of late, hasn’t it? Ever since Capcom made a promise to its fans that the Resident Evil series would go back to what made it so popular in the first place, the series has gone from strength to strength. Last year saw the release of the RE2 Remake which was absolutely excellent in that it kept the spirit of the original while also taking a few liberties of its own. It was only a matter of time before RE3 got the same treatment and well... it did.

I’m just going to spit this out. It’s not as good as the RE2 Remake. It didn’t need to be though. I still think this is a good game that provides a satisfying and fun survival horror experience. It carries over a lot of the elements that made the RE2 Remake such an excellent game and in certain areas (especially the writing) it makes a few improvements. Plus the game looks absolutely stunning thanks to the RE Engine. It is quite short. It is missing quite a bit of content from the original game. It definitely isn’t as replayable as the RE2 Remake. I still had a blast with it though overall. If this really is a blip for the Resident Evil series, then it must be in a really good place right now.

8: Tell Me Why

Dontnod Entertainment have fast become one of my favourite developers in the industry right now. When I first played Life is Strange back in 2015, it felt like a revelation. It weaved a fantastic story with characters you genuinely cared for and took you to a place you never wanted to leave. I’ve enjoyed all of their other ventures since then such as the underrated (if quite janky) Vampyr and Life is Strange 2.

Tell Me Why is another venture that fits the Dontnod MO: A grounded emotional story with slight supernatural elements, a degree of player choice and a setting that makes your jaw drop. The major difference here is the game’s attempt to portray a transgender character. That’s nothing new in and of itself. It’s more the fact that it attempts to accurately portray a transgender male character which is a bit of a rarity in all forms of media. Transgender portrayals (from what I’ve seen) tend to focus on male to female rather than female to male.

I’m in no position to comment on whether the portrayal is accurate or not, but I got the impression that Dontnod really went out of their way to get this right. Their FAQ explains that they worked with GLAAD and the voice actor to get it as right as they could. That alone deserves huge praise, but I also loved the Ronan Twins’ story as they dealt with their harsh past and the uncertain future. The game was a delight from beginning to end and it just looks absolutely gorgeous to boot. Dontnod have done it again.

7: Bugsnax

One of the early delights of the last generation was a little ditty known as Octodad: Dadliest Catch. It was a fun little physics based affair which cast you as a octopus masquerading as a human. The game had a terrific sense of humour and it was just bloody fun to play. Young Horses (the developer of the game) kinda went dark after that. They only really resurfaced to release two bonus levels for that game and then they just disappeared again. Now we know why that was the case...

Bugsnax retains some of the qualities that made Octodad such as a memorable game. A great sense of humour and a unique gameplay hook. You play as a reporter sent to the mysterious Snaktooth Island to interview an explorer called Elizabert Megafig who has discovered these unusual creatures known as Bugsnax. After crash landing onto the island, you discover that Elizabert and her significant other have gone missing. It’s up to you to find out what happened while also documenting and capturing Bugsnax for yourself. Capturing the Bugsnax is a big part of what makes this game such a delight to play. As you unlock more tools to play around with, you can come up with different strategies and methods to capture these weird snack based creatures. It’s pretty awesome. Throw in a lovable set of characters to interact with and a beautiful environment to explore, and you’ve got one of the most lovable games released this year.

6: Mafia: Definitive Edition

The last few years haven’t been too kind to the Mafia franchise in my eyes. I really wanted to like Mafia III when it came out back in 2016. It was a sequel I waited years for and it did have some good qualities such as an excellent story that dealt with some pretty heavy topics, solid gameplay mechanics and an amazing licensed soundtrack. Unfortunately the game had one of the most tedious and boring gameplay loops I think I’ve ever seen in an open world game. It just got so dull after the first couple of hours.

This year saw the announcement of the Mafia Trilogy which was to be a celebration of the entire franchise with a remake of the first game, a remaster of the second and a re-release of the third. Half of this was botched with the remaster of II being poorly put together and the re-release of III receiving a broken patch. Things were looking grim for the remake...

As you can see by it being in this list, we were proven wrong. Mafia: DE is a fantastic remake that pays good lip service to the original while also expanding on certain elements. The story which follows the rise and fall of cab driver turned wiseguy Tommy Angelo is more fleshed out with new sequences and character moments that weren’t in the original. Gameplay still retains the solid shooting and cover mechanics of Mafia III and the driving feels absolutely excellent especially when you put it in simulation mode. Lost Heaven is just gorgeous to behold as well with its bustling neighbourhoods and beautiful countryside. I hope this is the beginning of a redemption arc for Hangar 13 and the Mafia franchise. There is a lot of promise to build upon from here.

5: Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise

Anyone who knows me personally or has followed me on social media for a while knows that I’m a big fan of Deadly Premonition. The 2010 cult survival horror hit pretty much encapsulates why I love video games with its lovable hero, an eccentric cast of characters and surprisingly solid mechanics considering the budget it was made for. It was definitely more than the sum of its parts.

When I found out that a sequel was being made exclusively for the Nintendo Switch, my jaw hit the floor pretty hard. I thought any hopes for a sequel were dashed when SWERY left Access Games (the original dev), and yet here we are. A Blessing in Disguise is a brilliant sequel to the zany original. It captures everything that I loved about the original game to a T while also improving in certain aspects. The story is more ambitious this time with it being both prequel and sequel. A lot of the gameplay elements have been improved. The combat benefits from better aiming controls and an upgrade system for both York and his weapon. Getting from A to B is less wonky (and more fun) thanks to the addition of a skateboard rather than a car.

While I do still think the original is better due to the more creative side quests, the more challenging difficulty and the fact that it functions better from a technical perspective, I’m still a big fan of DP2 and it deserves your attention. Here’s hoping that it makes its way to other platforms in the future.

4: Ghost of Tsushima

This last generation has been good for Sony and its Worldwide Studios. In the last five years, they’ve managed to produce hit after hit after hit. A definite far cry from the first year of the PS4 where they produced some dire exclusives. Infamous Second Son was one of these. Sucker Punch’s first effort on the console was very pretty and a good technical showpiece for the console, but as a game, it was boring and dull. I couldn’t even muster the strength to finish it. The standalone expansion First Light was a huge improvement in my eyes. It cut out a lot of the fluff from Second Son. I knew then that Sucker Punch would eventually give us something amazing. They certainly did in the end...

Ghost of Tsushima is honestly one of the best exclusives that Sony has ever produced. Giving us a brutal tale in the vein of a Kurosawa flick where samurai Jin Sakai is forced to betray his code in order to drive out the Mongol force that has enslaved his homeland; we have a story that is genuinely gripping from beginning to end with an incredibly powerful final duel to boot. The combat is incredibly fun with a brilliant combat system that is easy to pick up but challenging to master. Duels especially show the combat system at its finest. Upgrading your abilities genuinely makes you feel incredibly powerful as you begin to decimate enemies left, right and center. Stealth is solid giving you plenty of tools at your disposal and certainly changes up the gameplay a fair bit. Did I mention that Tsushima Island is one of the most aesthetically pleasing locales in any game to date? Well I’m saying it now. It is one of the most beautiful locales in any game to date.

I’m very excited to see where this new IP goes in the future because this first entry is just incredible. A must buy if you own or plan on owning a PlayStation 4 or 5 in the near future.

3: Astro’s Playroom

Memorable pack-in exclusives are a bit of a rarity nowadays. The last one that sticks in my mind is Wii Sports, and that was a long time ago.

Astro’s Playroom serves as the pack-in title for the PlayStation 5 as it is pre-installed on all units. It’s also my favourite exclusive for the console so far. The main reason for this is that Astro’s Playroom evolves past being just a tech demo for the console and its fancy new controller. It actually is a fun little platformer in its own right. It offers something different with every level. In one level you can transform into a giant ball and attempt to navigate some pretty tight platforms, and in the next, you take control of a rocket ship and navigate through corridors while also avoiding bombs. There is great variety here and to be fair, it shows off the potential of the new DualSense controller fantastically.

Plus the game is just one giant love letter to the PlayStation brand and the games that made it what it is today. You’ll see references to obscure PlayStation paraphernalia such as the Multitap and UMD discs, and also games like Final Fantasy VII and Silent Hill. The final boss of the game in particular is one giant callback to something you might remember if you got a PlayStation 1 back in the day. I won’t say any more, but it made me yelp in joy when I saw it. If you plan on getting a PlayStation 5 in the future, make this the first game you play. You won’t regret it.

2: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2

Activision have been on a roll in the last few years with the revitalisation of some of their classic franchises. Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon for example have enjoyed newfound success thanks to the excellent N Sane Trilogy and Reignited Trilogy. When it was revealed earlier this year that Vicarious Visions and Beenox would be resurrecting the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater franchise with a remake of Pro Skater 1 and 2, my heart skipped a good few beats.

The Pro Skater franchise means a lot to me personally as I have very fond memories of putting hours into 1 and 2 when I was a kid. Going through the Career mode with each skater, learning the gaps and getting used to doing manuals when they were introduced in 2, it’s all ingrained into me. I’m happy to say that this is probably the best remake I have ever played. It perfectly captures what made those first two entries so special. Each level is beautifully recreated with a ton of new details that serve to enhance these levels. The soundtrack includes all of your old favourites like Goldfinger’s Superman and Rage Against the Machine’s Guerilla Radio along with some fantastic new tracks like Less Than Jake’s Bomb Drop.

The gameplay definitely taps more into Pro Skater 3 and 4 territory with Reverts and Flatland tricks included. These tricks don’t feel out of place and the game does give you the option to play it legacy style if you want. It feels magnificent overall though. The physics are pitch perfect. Creating lines and large combos is still as addicting and rewarding as ever. Online leaderboards certainly tempt you to reach for the stars if you’ve got the ability. Career mode isn’t particularly long, but the pretty robust Create-a-Park editor and solid multiplayer suite should keep you coming back for more. I’ve already put dozens of hours into this and I have no intention of stopping anytime soon.

If my number 1 entry on this list didn’t exist, this would be my Game of the Year. As it stands though, this is a very close second.

1: Doom Eternal

How do you follow up one of the best first person shooters in recent memory? Basically turn everything up to eleven and then some. Doom (2016) was such an eye opener when it launched. It gave everything we could have ever wanted from a new Doom game: a whole planet full of demons to kill and some big guns to help them back to where they belong. It was awesome and an easy choice for my GOTY back in 2016.

I anticipated Doom Eternal with bated breath. The excitement was building but the nerves were building with it. How could it live up to the previous one? What if it makes the same mistakes as Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus? Thankfully my worries were unfounded as soon as I loaded up the game and was thrown straight into the fold with a Combat Shotgun and some entry level demons to destroy with it.

Doom Eternal is the FPS genre at its absolute finest. The levels are much bigger with more secrets to find and loads of demons to kill. Said demons are much more plentiful in their ranks and they move faster too. Fortunately enough, you have a huge arsenal to deal death to these demonic denizens from the depths of Hell such as the starter Combat Shotgun, the Plasma Rifle, the Ballista and even a giant sword known as the Crucible. Enemies now have weak points to exploit as well which can turn the tide of battle and it rewards accuracy. Before you know it, you’ll be entangled in a ballet of bullets, beams, blood and guts (HUGE guts mind you.) This game makes you feel like a hero at the end of every fight. It’s so satisfying.

Toss in a soundtrack that will get your blood pumping and your goosebumps raising along with environments that will make your TV or monitor look like a window to a scorched earth, and you have my Game of the Year for 2020. Well deserved for sure. I really need to get on that DLC.

To those of you who actually took the time to read all that, you have my heartfelt thanks. I really appreciate you reading this and I hope my choices made sense.

To those of you who just glanced at each entry and skimmed through the text, I don’t blame you for doing that. I still appreciate you taking a look anyway.

All that’s left for me to say is that I hope each and every one of you has a safe holiday season and I hope that the New Year will be better for all of us.

I’ll see you all in 2021. Stay safe and well, folks.

[frenchibi]

hey, so i thought maybe you could tell us a little what you're currently interested in? ♥ like, what have you been doing during quarantine, are there any new shows you watched that you enjoyed a lot, did you maybe take up a new hobby or something? :)

Hello!! I did not forget this lovely message, I was just in no state to answer (who’d have thought that recovery from surgery is, y’know, taxing) BUT I’M BACK NOW and ohhhh do you know what you’ve unlocked by asking me this question...?? I cannot give you a comprehensive list but I can tell you a couple of the things that I got into during quarantine, and the things I am currently super passionate about! My memory is, uh, not great but thankfully I do journal and write down things so I am confident I can answer this for you :D (plus I do always love recommending things so - aaa??? Thank you for this ask????)

Putting things under a cut because I physically cannot chill but if tl;dr I want you to take away one thing from this it’s that everyone should read Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Thoughts below.

(Also. I would love to go off about my interests more on here but am not sure what... shape that should ideally take? Text posts? IDK pls give me suggestions, help me out?? dfhasjkldf)

Movies

I have not seen many, but I can and will scream about The Old Guard over and over because... it was everything I never knew I needed in an action movie?? I don’t reblog many things about it anymore but I love love LOVED it!!

Also, upon recommendation by one of my friends from India, I have been delving into the world of Bollywood movies and WOW Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was so fucking good??? idk if it’s on Netflix in every country but it is in mine and I highly recommend it. It’s thoughtful, honest, emotional and shot absolutely gorgeously, and it also has that cheesiness that is just... so good... sometimes you just need the cheese y’know???

(Side note, 2020 was the year I saw Pride and Prejudice (2005) for the first time and I am a changed woman. It is now my ultimate comfort movie. Please see it if you have not, I cannot believe it took me this long. I saw it for the first time on an airplane (in january... a lifetime ago) and have seen it many, many times since.)

TV Shows

So, to everyone’s shock but especially my own, I have not really been into TV lately? I watched The Boys because my brother recommended it (it’s good, but gorey and pulls no punches, the R rating is deserved), and recently started watching Jujutsu Kaisen because my sister recommended it (I haven’t watched a new anime in like a year which is kinda wild to me? But I am enjoying this one - the opening SLAPS and what I’ve seen so far has been fun! Plus I’m watching it with my sister and I like sending her reactions xD),,, and that’s pretty much it for this category?? I am aware there is a LOT of good shit out there I just.. .don’t seem to have the attention span for multiple episodes of a Thing these days. Meh. I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually ^^

Musical Theater

One of the main reasons I think I haven’t been big into TV is because my Musical Passion is in FULL SWING (haha get it). Probably because the only thing that has remained for me during this quarantine is my singing lessons (and lemme tell you... over skype, that shit is ROUGH but still better than not singing at all) and I have been obsessing over learning new songs and finding shows through recommendations and compilation videos on youtube... So.

Shows I listen to a lot these days include Starry, Anastasia, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Come From Away (I made a post recently specifically about musicals, you should be able to find it under #French speaks) - specific songs in my range that I am currently learning and obsessing over include “Bring on the men” from Jekyll and Hyde, “The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland, “Show Yourself” from Frozen 2 (I liked it ok I DID), and “Go Tonight” from The Mad Ones (this one makes me cry... I’m making my sister duet it with me bc I can’t stop thinking about it).

Also, if you’re interested in hearing me sing things, head over to my instagram where I post covers (and also art)!!

(Musical people, I am curious to hear opinions about Great Comet, and also The Count of Monte Cristo - two shows I’ve been meaning to check out!)

Video Games

Listen. Animal Crossing New Horizons is awesome and I’m glad I have it (...give me Brewster back, Nintendo, or I WILL RIOT), but I have been branching out into other games for the Switch (might as well make this purchase worth it amirite) - current faves include Celeste (which is SO HARD but also SO FUCKING FUN) and Spiritfarer which I specifically bought to play at the hospital bc I knew I was going to be there for a few days, and let me tell you - best decision of 2020. Please watch the trailer if you haven’t heard of it, it’s GORGEOUS and beautiful and emotional and I loved every second of it. Both of these can also be purchased for PC and I think they are definitely worth the investment!!

In other news I’m back on my Stardew Valley bullshit. It’s just so calming.I revisit it a lot lmao

Books

So... I have been reading. A LOT. I read over 70 books this year, which for me is... average tbh? I have had some less productive reading months but overall I have torn through stuff and BOY do I have recommendations if you want them?? For the sake of brevity I will only mention a few here:

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space”. That is all. This was my first five star fiction book of the year and I will never be done screaming about it. There is a dedicated but smallish fandom here on tumblr and it deserves SO MUCH MORE. Please, please please. Everyone should read this damn book. It’s confusing in the beginning but I promise it’s worth it IT’S SO GOOD!! And also the sequel is out and it’s also confusing and SO GOOD!!!

Educated by Tara Westover. This is an autobiography and it’s one of those books that like. Stick in your mind for months after you’ve read it. It’s about how this woman escaped an abusive household that was religiously oppressive and also like... survivalist (prepping for the apocalypse) and avidly believed in conspiracy theories - by educating herself, working her way up to going to Harvard. Nothing I say could do the emotional impact of this book justice - and also just, the perspective this book gave me?? Incredible. Education is the most powerful tool and this woman grabbed it by the hair and did not let go and I was FLOORED. Everyone should read this. I don’t even usually read biographies but DAMN.

The Winternight trilogy by Katherine Arden.(Book 1 is called The Bear and the Nightingale). This is a bit of a slow burn type deal - it’s a retelling of a Russian fairy tale (I think?? Or like a folk... story? Something like that) and it is just. So magical. It’s not fast paced but it works up to FANTASTIC moments, the focus is on family and magic and change and “making your own way” and all three of these books were wonderful. It reminded me of Naomi Novic’s Uprooted and Spinning Silver (both of which I also loved back in 2019 and would highly recommend) and they are PERFECT winter reads if you’re looking for something to get cozy with. I liked book 1 well enough but books 2 and 3 knocked it out of the park. Fantastic. Loved them.

I have many more recs but this will do for now hahah

Music

Gonna keep this brief too - my music taste is all over the place, but here are some songs I have been obsessed with recently!! Beware of genre whiplash though because these are Very Different from one another (and different from the musical theater stuff above)

Factories - Autoheart (that bridge gets me every time, idk why. This is one I could have on repeat for hours and not get tired of it either. Something about it just gets me!!)

History Read - The Altogether (The lyrics!! Tbh the entire Silo album is GREAT, but this one is my fave. Their music is so... mellow, in the best way??)

Weather Man - Valley of Wolves (ok this one is just a banger. I’m a sucker for a good sing-along-able hook (that’s not a word. you get me though right) and this fucking DELIVERS. I also just think “I make these dark skies blue, I make these mountains move, let the rain come down, I’m pushing through.... [pause] ... ‘cause I’m the weather man” is such good execution of a concept?? That PAUSE GETS ME it’s just SO FUN?!?! idk man I like a good upbeat banger and this is that.)

I believe (get over yourself) - Nico Vega (this one is just a callout at myself tbh?? “you’re a fool” I AM and I needed to hear it?? It’s also SO FUN to sing!!! We love a banger.)

Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom (mentioning this mainly because it reminded me, lyrically, of Gideon the Ninth and I need someone to confirm this for me before I go insane?? “everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink, love” - I mean c’mon??? Also it’s a banger. I do like some rock from time to time... and this also has a killer driving bassline. This is super fun to drive to, too!!)

((If we have overlap and anyone wants to exchange playlists with me - I am SO here for it. Always looking for new music!!! I mean it!!))

Youtube

Last and certainly not least... meet my newest hyperfixation!!! I have always loved watching video essays, and booktube videos, and arttube videos - and my current niche of favorite creators is the Polygon video team!! They made videos about video games and board games and anything gaming-related and I just. I’m only peripherally a “gamer(TM)” but I love anything and everything they create. (Also you don’t have to know much about video games to enjoy all of their content!! A lot of it is still accessible to Non-Gamers(TM) or casual gamers!) BDG is my new favorite creator, the Unraveled series he does on the channel is a work of genius - but I have also started watching their streams and older series and I am enjoying myself SO MUCH! I love boardgames so their series on them, Overboard, is so fun and entertaining (and I already know a bunch of games I want to buy based on seeing the gameplay), and it also made me invested in the other creators - particularly Simone, I would die for Simone?? And Pat? And Jenna? They each have their niche and they work really well together too and their videos are my Main Serotonin Machine in these trying times(TM), thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Also. If you’re already following me here and you are familiar with Polygon things I BEG YOU TO COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM because I am like, bursting, but I also don’t want to flood my dash with stuff that 99% of my followers are unfamiliar with y’know??

...I think I’m going to leave it at this - it’s already a lot!

But thank you once again for asking and for letting me Go Off about things I am interested in!! I just... I very often wish I could do this more, but I’m not sure how to go about it? Should I just do text posts about things?? Would that be interesting to anyone?? Or is that like, annoying? Should I start a review blog or something? dhfajkldhf I just want to talk about things that excite me, but whenever I’m here I often just stick to reblogging other people’s stuff... help?? What do y’all want to see??

[curejunereblogs]

An Extensive List of Phantom Thieves (怪盗)

but first the criteria:

The boundaries for what makes a thief a phantom and whether it's different from a gentleman thief are wobbly

We can't really just allow everyone who calls themselves "kaitou" to qualify, because there's Kaitou Sai from Nogami Neiro who is a serial killer which is A Very Bad Thing. most good examples of thieves have a "no kill" rule

If we set that they have to steal for Good Reasons, we cut off Kaitou Joker, who is very much a phantom thief, so we have to allow "thrill of the chase" as a valid-ish reason for stealing. no bonus points though, it just not instant disqualification

I found that "sends a calling card" is a good rule to stick to so I trimmed my original surprisingly long list based on whether I know for sure they send announcements or cards or letters or such. If you don't say "come and get me" to your target, you're pragmatic, a realist and also a coward

Which led me to a conclusion that to be a proper phantom thief, the main thing you should be after is the spotlight. You have to steal the show. Otherwise you're just a thief, maybe a gentleman, but not a phantom. Contrary to the name, you have to be seen. Good phantom thieves have a give-and-take relationship with their audience - they take the treasure, and give back a performance or some other form of entertainment (or purpose in life in some cases).

The following compilation doesn't include: books, hentai, eroge, BL, things where i couldn't translate the title into English, the ones that don't send calling cards(as far as i know) and in general a bunch of media i most definitely missed

Phantom Thief Hall of Fame:

- Kaito Kid(1987), Kaitou Saint Tail(1994) and Kaitou Joker(2007) are all brilliant examples of the genre, and if you don't know any of them, they all have a bunch of passionate fans each and they can all be googled really easily

- Joker and his gang from Persona 5(2017); i'm consiously placing him in the second/fourth place because even though he's really cool, very popular and is The phantom thief to a lot of people unfamiliar with the genre... he doesn't have a tophat (his persona is not enough)

- ... I'll just mention that Lupin the 3rd(1967) exists and go on

- and of course, Lupin III and about a quarter of all phantom thieves are in some way based on Arsène Lupin(1905) by Maurice Leblanc

- ex. there was a french-canadian cartoon about Lupin called Night Hood(1996)

- Cat's Eye(1981), cited as an inspiration for Saint Tail, is about a trio of sisters who steal stuff in order to get closer to their dad and it's epic

- Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne(1997), like Saint Tail, doubles as a magical girl series and is about magical stealing and the clothing is eastern and the manga swerves into weird territory in the end but it features one of the precious few phantom thief & phantom thief romances

- King of Bandits Jing(1995), while doesn't have the aesthetic, has the weirdness, the charm, the calling card (i think) and is generally cool enough to steal his place on the list whether he’s a phantom or not

- The Acrobat/Man of Twenty Faces(1990), also known as Akira Ijyuin; charming child somehow without most of the problems the CLAMP protagonists tend to suffer from

- Phantom R the titular Rhythm Thief(2012), a great example of a dancer show-off, has a dog

- The Black Rose from Ashita no Nadja(2003) is a tuxedo mask-esque character

- Kaitou Kiramekiman(2000) is a cool retrofuturistic-looking duo trying to save the world in a show that is tragically more about their police counterparts Doing Absolutely Nothing because the villains tend to be more popular in that franchise

- Pacricon(1999) takes place in a world where money has been cancelled(?), has a hella cool calling card

- Shadow Lady(1995)... well, there's a lot of fanservice - like, a lot, and it's tiring and i warned you - but there's also some genuinely funny twists like cancelling her heist on live tv just because she didn't feel like doing it. it also got very unceremoniously axed

- Kaitou Alexandrite(2006) owns/co-owns/frequents a bordel so there's some nsfw to be seen on occasion but it's tolerable and could be described as tasteful i guess. she stole someone's voice once. it also features one of the best identity reveals

- Chat Noir from Granblue Fantasy(2014) is a fighting unit; he has a "calling card" skill and i think that's beautiful

- Phantom Skye from Harvest Moon DS Cute(2005), a not-very-secret character, is an absolute cheese but it loops right back into being charming

- Kaito Rousseau(2006) for Nintendo DS, where a tiny thief boy is horrible at going unnoticed unless he disguises his face as whatever you draw on your ds screen

- Mask DeMasque from Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations(2004) is a thing?

- Sly Cooper(2002) is known as Kaitou Sly Cooper in Japan so he fits the bill

- PxP(2006), short manga about a girl thief in high school

- Sweet Kaitou Vanilla Moon(2010), pastry-themed phantom thief? hell yeah!

- Kaitou Reinya(2010), a short comedy that is not to be taken seriously but you might get a few chuckles from it and i don't regret giving it a second chance (warning: cartoonish animal abuse)

- Cat's Eye(s)(2010), a remake of the original tale of three sisters with different PoVs

- Kaitou Jack from Nishikida Keibu wa Dorobou ga Osuki(2013); it's a gag manga about a cute phantom thief boy and an old man detective that acts like a schoolgirl around that boy. ... I'm only mentioning it here because I like Jack's costume and "i'm-SO-done-with-this" faces and it's mostly intended to be funny. mostly.

- Kaitou Okami-Zoku Shonen(2013), a oneshot about a werewolf who eats people's hearts (metaphorically! through kisses) but is really stylish about it. Think P5 protagonist but alone and a werewolf

- Phantom Thief F's Scenario(2013) is a vocaloid song about a diamond heist on a luxury liner

- Kaitou Le Vin(2014) is about six people stealing wines and it's epic but they can't shut up about wine for one second

- Gaitou Alice(2015) is about a guy looking like Kaito Kuroba going into people's hearts to steal stuff before P5 made it cool. Features amazing artwork but kinda gross stuff closer to the end so it's kind of understandable why it got axed but it has a kind of weird charm to it

- Mystic Thief X from a mobile dating game Miss Detective's Undercover(2017) (i'm scraping for phantom thief content) is honestly excellent at his job. he might only be showing off for one person but damn it's romantic af and i love him

- Kaitou Shounen Jokers(2017) is a sequel to Kaitou Joker, and is directly about the previous protag's kid going to a phantom thief school (i have no hard evidence he sends calling cards but if he doesn’t take after dad i’m-)

- Kaitou Saint Tail girls!(2018), a sequel to Saint Tail, is very cute and has two new Saint Tails working together! i wish i knew more about it

- Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger(2018), live-action series that is a must-watch for anyone who loves phantom thieves because it's a masterpiece of a tv show; besides the three thieves it also features the best police officers in the genre (it kind of has to since they're protagonists too but boy does it deliver)

- Secret x Warrior Phantomirage(2019) is also a live action and it's all about girls stealing enchanted hearts! i actually don't know if they send cards but it feels right placing them after lupinrangers and they're definitely show-stealers

- Kilroy(2018) is a western comic about a guy who broke an unconventional mirror and has to do unconventional repairs

- Kaitou Kamaitachi(2018) has a cute reporter boy and a lot of butterflies

- Destined Memories(2019) is another mobile dating game, there are thieves (called the Crows) in victorian england and they send notices and it's way better at being a phantom thief story than an actual phantom thief story by this company that i'll maybe mention later if i get to compiling a list of thieves that don't send cards

- I really want to put Majo Kaitou Lip☆s(2019) in this category, I want her to send calling cards, but there's like two chapters out so there's still time. The artwork for this series is GORGEOUS and the idol imagery is amazing and i love it so much I just want her to be popular

i might've ignored some phantoms you may have heard about, but 50% i've checked and they don't send calling cards. If they do, additions are welcome!

[rainbowwhimsyart]

Faedom Week Day One : Alternate Universe

Okay, here it is. A modern au (well, the rough outline for one anyway, lol. Didn't get a chance to write it out fully, but here's a general summary.)

This is for the 2019 Faedom challenge week, which is all about creating fanworks for @not-poignant 's Faetales verse.

Okay, so imagine that modern AU Augus owns a cafe. They make vegan fusion dishes. It's called Balance. Eran is the head chef, specializes in cooking directly over live flame and charcoal in an open - air cooking pit outside. The fact that they even were able to get the licenses for that kind of set up is suspicious. Other business owners in the area joke that Augus must have used some kind of mind- control powers to have gotten that zoning pushed through. 

Mosk is homeless and squatting in the area. He meets Mikkel, who is doing homeless outreach for the local community mental health. Mikkel can get him a job, and a bed at one of the local shelters. Mosk doesn't want to stay at the shelter, he's got a system. Gym membership, laundromats for washing clothes, and if he does some sex work, it's nobody's business but his. 

Mikkel reminds him that winter will be here soon, and if he works a steady job and saves enough, Mikkel says he can get him actual housing. Mikkel knows some people who are looking for a full time barrista/cashier. Best part? Mosk will eat for free while he's on shift. 

Mosk reluctantly agrees. Meets at Balance, Mikkel introduces him to Augus, the owner. Augus talks to him for 5 minutes and is like, yeah fine. He can work for a trial period, we'll see how it goes. $15 an hour plus tips during the trial period, with a raise of he gets hired permanently, which is wildly generous for a barista. Mosk just stares at Augus, wondering if he's going to be expected to blow him for the job. 

It turns out that Augus doesn't spend a ton of time on site, he spends most of his time cultivating and caring for the gardens and grounds of the historical manor his husband inherited, that they now rent out for events. 

Augus introduces him to Julvia, the manager of the cafe, and then leaves. She shows him how the shop runs, starts training him a little bit, and has him jump on register then and there. Mosk is surprised that they already trust him with the money. But she does, and even stranger, she is kind to him. She doesn't seem to care that he's awkward and abrupt with the customers. Doesn't seem to care that his clothes are worn and a little tattered, that his sneakers have holes in them.

 She tells him that Mosk will meet Eran, the head chef, soon. He's on vacation visiting his family, but he should be back in a week or so.

 In the meantime, an easygoing and extroverted man named Ash is covering for Eran. Apparently he steps in sometimes to help with large catering orders, and covers for Eran sometimes.  At the end of shift, Ash brings up an opportunity for Mosk to make some extra money on the side. Mosk immediately assumes that he means sex, and since Ash isn't unattractive at all and doesn't seem inclined to damage him, Mosk decides that he could use the extra money, and goes for it. It's a painfully  awkward moment. 

Ash clarifies that there are frequently events that Balance caters at the manor, and they always need servers.  If he's interested, he should ask Julvia to put him in touch with Ash, who is apparently August's brother and the hospitality manager of the Manor.

Mosk is mortified but Ash handles it pretty gracefully and even winks at Mosk before he leaves. 

Mosk settles in, and is cautiously hopeful that he might be able to get his own place, to grow a new life there. He's saving his money, keeps it on him at all times, changes out small bills for larger bills and keeps them tucked in his shoes. 

Eran comes back and Mosk finally gets to meet him. Of course he's gorgeous. Of course he's a little bit of a hipster and his ass looks amazing in those jeans, the jerk. Of course he wears eyeliner (though Mosk thinks, resentfully, that his eyes do look beautiful to a nearly otherworldly degree when smudged with black and gold) . 

Even worse, Eran is constantly condescending to him. I mean, isn't it obvious that's what he's doing whenever he is so persistently kind to Mosk? Why else would he be so nice? I mean, the nerve, always trying to feed him and asking him how his day is going and flirting with him. It has to be some kind of joke.

Mosk is flustered and, remembering his awkward encounter with Ash (and assuming Ash passed the story along), is caustic and rude back. Eran's food is 'hippy new age bullshit', Mosk obviously hates it (even though he eats every bite), and Eran can fuck off with trying to feed him that 'rich-bitch burnt grass garbage'.

Eran just laughs it off and keeps making him new dishes, until he finds a few that Mosk 'Doesn't hate, I guess'. It must be a coincidence when those dishes become regular offerings on the menu, allowing Mosk to eat them daily when he's at work. 

One day, walking back to where he is squatting, Mosk is jumped and beaten up really badly. They rob him, beat him, and even take his shoes, which means his money is gone. He is found and taken to the hospital, and when they need to contact someone, Mosk gives them Mikkel's number.  Mosk's leg has been broken, and several of his fingers. 

Unbeknownst to Mosk, Mikkel can't come get him, he's out of town. He calls Augus, who is in the middle of an event at the manor. Ash is there too, and he can't leave either, so he sends Eran. 

Eran goes to pick up Mosk at the hospital, Mosk argues. The hospital won't release him without a ride. Mosk finally agrees just so he can get out of there. The hospital gives him crutches which he can't fully use because of his fingers. 

Eran takes him to go get his prescriptions filled, and then asks him where to drop him off. Mosk tries to get him to let him out several blocks away, but Eran insists that Mosk let him help him inside. Mosk gets angry and finally agrees, directs Eran to building he's squatting at. 

Eran is horrified at the conditions Mosk has been living in, tells him that he's not staying there. Mosk is too tired to argue. They grab Mosk's backpack and Eran takes him back to his house. 

Mosk doesn't want to stay there, only agrees to stay until he's well enough to leave on his own. Eran doesn't agree but doesn't disagree (plans on convincing Mosk to stay). 

Eran puts Mosk up in his guest room. Mosk is terrified that he's going to lose his job. Admits that he's lost his entire savings when he got jumped. Eran assures him that he'll still have a job. 

Augus and Ash come by the next day, and promise that he's not going to lose his job. In fact, in the meantime, Augus has a bunch of electronic files and paperwork that need to be organized, and Mosk can do that remotely and be relatively stationary, yes? He says that, factoring in the tips Mosk would have been making, that would have been roughly $20 an hour, so that's what Augus will pay him. Mosk is stunned. Augus leaves him a potted plant. Ash leaves him his old Nintendo DS.

Cue 'and they were roommates!' / sick fic bits, with Mosk being the WORST patient ever. Of course, Eran and Mosk start slowly bonding despite Mosk's resistance. Eran gets a little black cat, says it's for him but really it's for Mosk. Mosk pretends to hate it but secretly (and then not so secretly) loves it more than anything. Mosk names him Raven, and Eran jokes that Mosk treats him like a little prince. They start calling him The Raven Prince. Eran gets strangely jealous that Mosk loves on the cat so much, wishes that Mosk would pet HIM like that. 

When Mosk starts getting a little more mobile, he starts cleaning the apartment, doing Eran's laundry, making his bed in the morning, etc. Eran tries to tell him that he doesn't have to do that, but Mosk seems ready to bolt otherwise, so Eran just starts praising him for it instead. Eran notices how much Mosk loves the plant that Augus brought him, starts bringing him home little succulents and plants. Mosk is flustered but accepts the plants, claiming that 'he'll take care of them for Eran'. Mosk asks Eran to teach him how to cook. Eran does. It's super cute. 

Eventually, Mosk goes back to working at the cafe, and starts talking about moving out. Eran tells him that "The Raven Prince would be so sad if you left, he would be heartbroken." (Suuuure, Eran. TRP would be the one who is  heartbroken. Suure.)

 Mosk decides to stay a little longer, because who would do Eran's laundry for him if he wasn't there? Who would make sure that Eran's bed was perfectly made? Eran surely wouldn't do it for himself, considering the state of his apartment before Mosk came. Mosk is obviously doing him a favor by staying. 

One day at work, one of his old clients shows up and gives him a hard time, tells Mosk he's going to show up at closing and fuck him in the alleyway out back. Mosk walks out without telling anyone, just straight up leaves without telling anyone. It is not great at the cafe, and Augus ends up having to come in and run the cash register. He is NOT happy. He asks Eran what happened, Eran has no idea. 

Mosk doesn't come home that night, and Eran goes looking for him. Finds him back outside of where he was squatting before, but now that building has been knocked down and construction has started on new overpriced condos (Built by Davix and Olphix Associates, who seem to be buying up A LOT of property in the area. But that's neither here nor there). Mosk is pretty dissociated, but when Eran shows up, he's snaps back enough to be crushingly embarrasses and ashamed at what happened, and defensively lashes out at Eran, like is genuinely mean,and says some truly horrible things to Eran. Eran ends up leaving. Mosk doesn't come back to work. Doesn't go back to Eran's house. Just disappears. Eran lies to himself and says it's fine. It's not fine.

One day the next week, Mikkel comes in and asks where Mosk is. Eran tells him his version of the events as he knows them (which may be just a tad bit colored by his own hurt feelings). Mikkel demands to see the footage (of course there are security cameras. Augus's husband INSISTED on it. ) of what happened before Mosk left. He calls them all idiots for not checking it sooner. 

Now they have to find Mosk, but he's not at any of his old haunts. Eventually Mikkel tracks him down to a very shady pay-by-the-week motel. He's almost out of his savings. He's been planning on going back to sex work. Mikkel tells him he could do that, or he could have his old job back. They watched the footage. They know he was threatened. 

Mosk is humiliated, because now everyone knows about his history. Eventually Mikkel talks him into going back to the cafe. Mosk ignores Eran to the best of his ability. Eran is apologetic and tries to convince Mosk to 'come home'. He refuses. 

Eventually Eran gets him to at least come over and visit with TRP. He cooks Mosk his favorite meal. He kisses Mosk for the first time. Mosk is the physical embodiment of Gay Panic, but he doesn't run. Eran has FEELINGS. 

They start dating, though Mosk refuses to call Eran his boyfriend. Eran keeps trying to convince him to move back in, but Mosk refuses. Eran is worried about Mosk's independence, about his lack of protection, but he has to let Mosk do what he's going to do. 

When Eran's family has a disaster (plane crash in Alaska, multiple family members killed), Mosk steps in and comes to take care of him. Eran is in a deep depression, is grieving. Mosk is strangely good at holding space for Eran. Eran begs him to stay. Mosk agrees, but won't share a room with Eran. 

Eran slowly comes out of the deepest part of his depression, and he and Mosk grow even closer. Mosk gets another raise at the cafe. Eran goes back to work. 

Cue some major drama with Davix & Olphix Associates trying to buy up Balance. It looks like all of their jobs are in jeopardy due to some kind of legal loophole.  It looks like Balance may have to close its doors forever. 

But wait! Mosk remembers some important piece of paperwork that he filed for Augus, and it's the critical piece of information that saves the day! Davix and Olphix give up (for now), and their jobs are safe. Eran tells Mosk that he loves him. Mosk…doesn't run away. Eran thinks that is enough.

Time skip, several months in the future. It's Christmas time, and today, the cafe is closed to customers, because Augus and Gwyn are throwing the staff a holiday party. 

They have karaoke. Everyone gets tipsy, including Mosk. Mosk gets up on the karaoke machine, sings a love song to Eran (in a surprisingly sweet tenor). Tells Eran that he loves him. Eran is like, ohhh bby are you SURE you wanted to do this in front of all of our coworkers? And Mosk is like, you're an idiot, who do you think organized this party? And then… 

MOSK PROPOSES TO ERAN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. 

ERAN OF COURSE SAYS YES. 

Epilogue: Eran is hovering around the food tent at the manor. There's an event that's going on, and he wants to make sure everything is running smoothly. Ash tells him that it is, and promises that he won't miss the ceremony.

Augus comes and grabs Eran and tells him to leave the food staff alone, that he's not allowed anywhere near the food tent again for the rest of the night. It's Eran's wedding, after all. He shouldn't be be working. Eran agrees.

 Augus is tipsy, regales him with the story of his and Gwyn's wedding. Gives him slightly - drunken, very TMI advice for his honeymoon. Eran just nods and manages to keep a straight face.

Eran gets ready to walk down the aisle, which is filled with his friends and what's left of his family. He sees his husband to be, and thinks about the life they will build together, about all they've overcome.

Eran and Mosk read their vows. Augus is crying. Gwyn is holding his hand.

They say 'I do' and kiss. And step into their brand new future. Together.