#for each she wouldnt even come closer to me than like 7 feet away

[meateater-rabbit]

"you've never had a migraine, if you'd ever had one you'd KNOW" funny i had a migraine two days ago so bad i couldn't function eat or sleep because i was holding in vomit and trying not to cry

[diamondsnpolaroids]

Kingston's birth story♡

On Thursday February 13th I had my last midwives appointment to which I asked for a membrane sweep. My midwife happily agreed and did it. For the rest of the day I felt regular contractions but unfortunately nothing came of it.

Friday February 14th, my due date. Still getting contractions but spread apart more and not as strong. I spent all day crying, begging my baby boy to hurry up. I felt as if my body was failing him. It wasnt trying hard enough, I wasnt doing enough, he was ready but I just couldnt. I couldnt sleep, everytime I tried I'd get up and start walking in hopes my body would finally start labouring properly.

Saturday February 15th, 12:15am I finally settled down enough to doze off after being awake since 6am. 12:32am I wake up to hear and feel a huge popping sound. I immediately sit up thinking something is terribly wrong. I actually get to my feet and that's when I felt it. Water gushing out of me. I had zero control. I waddle run to my bathroom, trying to avoid soaking my pants any more than they already were. I see nothing but clear fluid with tinges of red. That's when I realized it was indeed my water breaking. I couldnt get up for 2 minutes, my amniotic fluid was pouring out of me like you wouldnt believe. Finally I'm able to clean myself up, get on new pants and wake my mother to let her know. I told her to stay asleep since most women dont contract right away, thinking I still had time. By 12:50am I felt my first hard contraction. 12:53, another. 12:56, another. I call my sister to let her know to be ready to pick me up. I message King's father and grandmother, then attempt to wake my mother again. I call my midwife and was told to wait till my contractions were either unbearable or lasting 1 minute, 1 minute between contractions, for 1 hour. 1:34 I call my sister again and tell her to come over to help me labour since it was getting intense. Around the same time King's father comes over since I knew this was going to be a fast process. Contractions were getting closer and closer together, getting more unbearable with each passing one. I call my midwife again, my sister doing the talking for me, telling her we are on our way to the hospital.

2:20am we leave my place and head there. 2:36 we're parked and I'm inside trying to sign in. Having to stop and contract infront of a room full of strangers. I get my bracelet and sent upstairs. 3 more contractions ensue in the meantime. We get up to the birthing floor and head for triage. That's when things begin to get intense and blurry. I'm sat in a bed, in extreme pain, trying to answer questions and get blood taken. I'm noticing this is all happening really fast and we need to hurry. I'm checked and told I'm 4/5cm dilated. We get told to move to a birthing room. Finally arriving in the place my child would be born, I lay down and my body takes over. I get no more than 30 seconds between contractions for my body to calm down. I get checked again, I'm told I'm 7/8 cm dilated and everyone is shocked. Its happening and its happening soon. Theres no chance for me to receive any drugs or IVs. No contraction belt to track them or heart monitor belt to check on King. Within 2 minutes my contractions get so out of control I can feel my body pushing against my wishes. I tell the room this, apologize and scream all at once. I'm being told to try and stop but I physically couldnt. After another 5 minutes of this I'm checked one last time, but this time im told to push. Everyone is shocked. In 7 minutes I've dilated 3cm and ready to bring my baby into the world.

I'm told to move into position, breaking both the fathers hand and my sisters while I sit there pushing. My sister is instructed to hold my leg and push it against me, my mother is told to grab my hand and the midwife had my other leg up and ready. I'm screaming bloody murder and trying my hardest to push. I will never be able to compare this pain to anything else.

4:09am, I give a push and my little mans head is out. I'm told to give one last push, my sister looks at Kings head and by the time she moved her head to look at me, he was out and on my chest. My baby boy is finally born and screaming almost as loud as me. Kingston came out at 7lbs 0oz, 19 inches long.

Within a few minutes he was calm and looking all around. I finally come to and realize what just happened. Instant shock, not knowing what to think or say, I'm hugging my baby so tight against my chest with tears going down my face. I did it. I finally did it. 9 long hard months of growing this tiny human and I finally bring him into this world for everyone to see and love.

I spent 13 hours after his birth in the hospital till we were sent home. Multiple family members and friends stopping by to say hello and meet my little ham. Everyone is shocked and amazed I managed to have a baby within 3 1/2 hours of my water breaking, zero drugs, all natural. His skin colour being perfect from the moment he was put on my chest, next to no wrinkles, just all around perfect. He took to breastfeeding so easily, barely cried unless he was cold. My perfect little man.

It's been 13 days since he entered this world, dropping to 6lb 6oz after 3 days, up to 6lb 9oz by day 5, then 7lb 4oz by day 10. Kingston has been nothing but a dream. I am so incredibly blessed every single day with his presence. He makes me feel every emotion under the sun, but mainly proud and love. I dont remember what life was like before him and I couldnt imagine my future without him. Everything our mothers, aunts, grandparents and friends told us is true, you never know love until you see your baby for the first time. I never had expectations on how life would be with him finally here but even if I did, hed surpass them all. I have such an angel baby who has me feeling more blessed than ever before. He is my entire world and I'd go through all the pain and suffering again if I had to for him. The absolute love of my life. ♡

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[nightwingswing]

The family’s girl: Interlude [Jason’s Date] (chapter 7)

Hello my lil’ wings!!

This chapeter is an interlude about the readers and Jasons date in chatper 7. 

For some reason this part of the chapter was erased, so i re-wrote it and published it as an interlude.

Im very sorry for this mistake! But in compensation, their date is described in detail!

Part1 Part2  Part3 Part4   Part5 Part6 Part7 [INTERLUDE] (we are here) Part8 Part9 Part10

Tags: @hamsterforlive @plethora-of-things @wonderlace19 @totallovelesson @crazyfreckledginger   @algentforthewin  @lastbeliever @redbird-97  @superawesomegeek  @blackcat995  @cutiedaij @electra-writes33 @conspiracy-teen @redbird-97

If you want to be tagged in this or any of my fics, feel free to message me anytime! ❤ ❤

And dont forget to vote who will the reader go to the Wayne gala with in the Part 9

¡Now enjoy!

You were officially screwed.

Who knew the youngest Wayne was capable of falling for someone? In a couple of days?

Worst thing?

He was possessive.

To make the scene worse.

Tim had decided to come every. day.

Super great.

“Seriously Drake, (y/n) has a better taste than you regarding clothes, so let her choose what she wants.” Damian glared at Tim, who had been holding a rather ugly dress.

“Excuse me? This is all the rage!” Tim exclaimed.

“Sure, makes designers rage, that’s for sure.” Dami scoffed

You looked at them an amused/done expression on her face.

“Boys, please…”

“But! Have you seen his taste in clothes?! You deserve so much better!” Damian exclaimed.

“Im going to try this one I choose. “ You changed quickly, the red dress hugging your form nicely. You smiled at your reflexion and went to see the boys.

When the two saw you they stopped fighting, they blushed and Tim smiled at you.

“You look beautiful, (y/n).” Tim praised you. Damian blushing scoffed.

“She looks beautiful every day.”

“Awwww” you coed and hugged Damian. “ I knew you liked me!” Damian plushed you away, blushing.

“Of course I do. If not, I won’t put up with Drake and you.” Dami looked away.

“Anyway, why are you buying a fancy dress?” Tim asked.

“..I got a date, remember? With Jason? He invited me to have dinner.” Tim eyes widened and Damian broke one of the mannequins.

“Dami?” You asked looking at him.”Why-“

“I didn’t like the outfit it wore”

“Oh.”

Tim mentally raged on Jason and his stupid bad boy charm, and his stupid leather jacket.

“It’s the hair and the jacket, right?!” Tim shake you. “I thought our kiss mean something!”

“What’ Timmy of course it meant something! But our date isn’t like that! Im sure someone like Jason has a lot of girls on his feet!”

“You sure?” Tim pouted.

“I am” You got out of Tim’s hold and started walking to the changing room. “And anyway, I’m not your girlfriend” Tim bite his lip and Damian smirked at him.

“Such a coward, Drake”

“Shut up, demon”

Jason was gonna get it tonight.

///*\\\

“HEY HEY HEY! TIMBO WHAT YOUR DEAL?!” Jason tried to block all of Tim’s punches.

“YOU ASKED (Y/N) ON A DATE!”

“WELL, I LIKE HER SO WHAT?” Jay blocked a fierce punch from Tim .

“SHE’S MINE!” Tim kicked Jason.

“SHE HAS NO OWNER, SHES A PERSON!”

“ROBIN SHUT UP WHEN THE OLDERS ARE TALKING!”

“WHAT GOING ON OVER HERE!?” Batman growled.

“SHIT!”

“LANGUAGE!” Batman growled at his sons. “now what the hell is going on?!”

“…”

“shit, who was talking to him?”

“Talk.”

“Oh look, Scarecrow is on the loose!” Tim yelled. “lets go!” They turned their communicators off so Batman couldn’t hear and the robins disappeared.

“…” Batman batglared at his computer.

///*\\\

You were getting dressed for your date when Damian knocked on you door.

“Come in!” You smiled at Damian who stiffened when he saw you “Ah, Dami, could you help me with the zipper?” He zipped it up and you turned around. “You need something?”

“Why are you going out with Todd?” Damian asked.

“Well, he asked me out so we could know each other’s better.” You smiled and the boy frowned. When he opened his mouth to say something a bike’s Clackson was heard.

“Oh that must be Jay! I called Tim to look out for you, I’ll be back in 2 hours. Please don’t break anything!” You hugged a blushing angry Damian and opened the door.” Tim come in! I’ll be back in 2 hour! Please try to not break anything” You kissed Tim’s cheek and ran outside.

Jason whistled at you as you walked to him, he gave you a spare helmet and you sat behind him on his bike.

“Where to?” You asked.

“To my favorite (f/f) restaurant” Jason said.

“Oh, I love (f/f)! “

Jason speed up while Tim and Damian observed by the windows, they glared at his brothers back until it wasn’t visible anymore.

“We are following him, right?” Tim smirked

“Dam right” Damian smirked.

///*\\\

You and Jason were eating (f/f) peacefully, laughing and meeting yourselves better.

Jason liked what he saw.

He liked it a lot.

“Why did you decide you we’re coming to Bludhaven?”

“oh, well…”You bite you lip, shyly “ I wanted to get as far as possible from home”

“Why?” Jason held your hand and you blushed.

“….” You sighed “I wanted to show my parents than I can live on my own. That I’m older”

“…”

“You think that’s childish?” You sighed.

“No…I can relate somehow. There was a time I wanted to overcome the shadow of another” Jay looked away.

“Did you did it?”

“…” for a moment, he looked pained.

“No need to tell me, really” You smiled and Jason smiled back.

“Thanks” Jason moved his chair so he could be closer to you.

Jason and you talked and laughed for an hour, ignoring the two jealous birds stalking you two.

///*\\\

“Do you want me to show you something?” Jason smirked.

“What?” You asked curious.

“My favorite place when I was a kid.” You nodded and followed him.

Jason and you entered a dirty barely illuminated alley.  He held your hand the whole time in as he pointed at a fire escape.

“Follow me, (n/n)” he smiled as he let go of your hand, you felt his warm hand leaving yours as he jumped on a fire escape.

“Come on, (n/n)! i know you can do it!” he smiled at you as he held his hands out for you.

 You ran to the fire escape and grabbed his hands, he smiled at you wide and pulled you up, without leting your hand go, the two of you run up to the stairs to the rooftop, giggling the whole time. 

The two of you laughed harder as an old lady opened her window to yell at both of you.

“KEEP QUIET, VANDALS!!!!!OR IM GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!!” She screamed. “this younglings!!!” she huffed as she closed her window.

 Once you two where up, Jason and you sat on the groud laughing softly, He was looking mesmerized at your cute soft laugh and happy smile.

“Now” he said as you looked at him. “Close your eyes, i want to show you the best part.” he smiled

“Okay!” you smiled, closing your eyes. He covered your eyes to assure you wouldnt peek.You blushed as you feelt his big, calloused warm hands covering your eyes.

He felt your eyelashes tickle his hand as his heart beated faster.His hands become sweaty as his cheeks burned red. He pulled his hands away of your face, not wanting you to notice how nervous he was.

“Keep your eyes closed” He whispered in your ear, making the hairs in your back stand in pleasure. 

“O-okay” you smiled shyly as he helped you up. 

He let go of your hands and set his jacket on the ground.

“Still,no peeking (n/n)” He smiled as you pouted

“fiiiine!” he held your hands again and guided you to the jacket.

“Sit and lay on your back” he said with a soft voice as with his help, you did as he said. Without opening your eyes, you laid on your back on the leather jacket, you felt a warm body lay next to yours. Jason laid in the cold unforgiving ground as you layed secured in his jacket, he smiled at your profile and his pinky rubbed against yours. 

“Open your eyes now” Jason whispered, still looking at you with warm cheeks and a sweet smile.  you uncovered them:

Your mouth hanged open in awe as you smiled, looking up at the sky of Gotham, illuminated by the multicolored lights of the neon bars. The colors fly around, like the artic sky, the most powerful starts shine betwen the magenta, blues and greens. In the far distance the yellow light of the batsignal shined brightly.  The loud sound of traffic blocked by the height as you gasped as the bright meteor shower started.

“It’s beautiful…” You awed. 

“I know...” Jason blushed as he still looked mesmerized at the lights dancing on your beautiful skin. He coughed, tearing his gaze of your beauty so he wont be caugh.  “Its where I hided and came to relax when I was younger. here...I felt safe, felt free, felt like the stars and the lights sang me Gotham’s lullaby….* he sighs, remebering his childhood. the night he spends crying on the same spot, hugging his legs and letting Gotham’s light ease his fears. “You are the only one who knows about it.” Jason blushed looking at you, your face illuminated by the lights.

“I’ll keep as a secret!” You smiled, looking at his blushing face. “I promise” Jason smiled back at your closed eyed smile.  You grabbed his hand and he blushed even harder. “This will be our safe haven” your (e/c) eyes twinkled, as the light reflected on jason’s icy blue eyes. His smile became warmer as his heart beated almost like it was goign to explode.

“Yeah…ours” Jason smiled, looking up at the sky, his hold on your hand tighten.

He swallowed the butterflies in his stomach, he was afraid...

he had just fell in love with (y/n) (l/n).

///*\\\

Jason gave you a ride back to your home, you two decided to meet again next week to go to the movies. And that you could anytime go to his secret haven as it was yours too.

You gave him a kiss on the cheek as goodbye and entered your building. Once inside you let the blush and the silly smile free. Jason had make you all tingly.

You opened your door to find Damian sitting in the dark, he turned on the light as you entered the apartment.

“Where were you?”

“umm, out?” You closed to door and turned the lights on, then walked towards your room. Damian followed you.

“You said 2 hours!”

“And??”

“You were out for 3!”

“oh Damian, I’m so sorry! Did Tim leaved an hour ago? Have you eaten!?”

“He leaved half an hour ago and yes. I cooked as Drake can’t even do an omelet.”

“Can I do something to make it up to you?” You hugged him.

“…Take me to the zoo”

“Okay”

“AND you take me to eat on the new vegetarian place.”

“Okay!”

“Now, go to sleep, (y/n).”

“Okay…good night, dami” You kissed his forehead and he quickly kissed your cheek.

“Night, (y/n).” He opened his door and closed it behind him.

You smiled at his cuteness and closed your door, you changed into your pajamas and fell face first on the bed, you hugged your pillow.

Now you had even MORE conflicting feelings.

You felt your eyes closing from the tiredness of the day, your muscles relaxing and you fell asleep.

The last thing you saw was a mop of black hair setting next to you on the bed and hugging you, their head buried in your neck.

///*\\\

Oh snap.

It was Damian.

…

If you wake him up he’ll be all ashamed you found out and he will be angry.

On the other hand

If you pretended you were sleeping until he wakes up you’ll be late for your classes.

Dammit.

To be, or not to be: that is the question

OH

Maybe you could wake him up AND preted you are asleep!

Brilliant!

Thank you!

Softly you kissed his cheek and kicked him, when he started moving you turn your back to him and pretend you were asleep.

He woke up, looked as if you were asleep and leaved your room sneakily.

You smiled when he closed the door and high fived the air.

Your plan has worked!

You quickly got up, showered and brushed your teeth.

You prepared a quick breakfast for Dami and when you saw him enter the kitchen you bid him goodbye.

Damian started eating and contemplating how to ask you to come to his father’s gala next week.

He was cleaning his dishes when someone come in thought the windows. Damian glared and grabbed the broomstick, ready to kick the ass of whoever dared to enter HIS house-I mean (Y/N) house!

He sneacked up to the living room, and prepared to attack when the figured turned around.

“Grandfather?!”

[Continue reading in Chapter 7]

[missyou-mp3-blog]

7/24/17 - MONSTA X concert experience/fan account!

i wanted to share with everyone (and for myself so ill always remember) of how my experience was with monsta x’s concert! i attended their 2nd LA date and it was my first time lining up early for a concert, and also my first time being in the pit. ill be putting everything in a bullet point list under a ‘read more’, but just know that my memory is shit and my thoughts are really unorganized. :’)

the line

my friends and i lined up around 12:30p and i was really scared bcuz of LA heat (im very sensitive to hot weather. also cold weather too.) + what were we gonna do all day waiting in line??

it actually ended up being ok cause it wasnt hot (it was cloudy, the air was cool, we were in the shade, and it even rained a little bit)

i also met up with another friend and her group in line!!

eventually our group had more people since we randomly talked to some other girls nearby us (so we were a group of 10)

waiting in line was actually enjoyable

but i definitely did not drink enough water and i only had one ‘real’ meal in the morning and survived on junk food/snacks throughout the day

i didnt feel good after the concert actually lmao i had a really bad stomachache when i got back to my friend’s place

anyways here’s some stuff i learned from other fans while waiting in line:

NO ONE LIKED KIHYUN’S PINK HAIR FROM FIGHTER ERA (i loved it tho...)

‘fighter’ is monsta x’s worst title track (some people said it was a shitty song but im being biased and am gonna say i still like it even though it’s my least fav too)

‘all in’ is monsta x’s best title track and should’ve gotten them their first win

im assuming a lot of monbebes are armys too

also... there was some guy selling unofficial monsta x shirts and a LOT of fans were buying them...

my problem with this is that on the back of the shirt it says “since 2014″, but monsta x debuted in 2015???

if it’s “since 2014″ for when the first ep of no.mercy aired?? then i guess that makes sense... but im pretty sure “since 2014″ is a mistake/inaccurate and i wish those fans didnt buy the shirt BCUZ OF THE WRONG YEAR... :///

oh and i also got a lot of freebies !!! like fans were passing out banners, fanmade postcards + photocards, etc.

the concert

security let me and some of my friend group (bcuz not all of us had P2 tickets) into the venue a little before 7p

we got a spot in the middle of the pit?? which was good, i thought, but my friends were thinking if we moved back to the P3 section we’d have a better view (bcuz once the concert starts everyone’s phones will be up lmao)

we ended up staying in our spot but as more people were coming in to the pit, it progressively got more crowded/squished (and people who werent SUPPOSED to be in the pit were in the pit too...)

but im assuming the pit wasnt that bad compared to day 1 since the pit wasnt even full (lots of space near the back) and monsta x didnt sell out their 2nd LA date

once it got closer to 8p the lights on the stage turned on and LITERALLY EVERYONE PUSHED FORWARD :(

and then monsta x had an intro video?? where it showed a picture of each member with their names and by this time i started tearing up bcuz that meant they were coming on stage soon and i was thinking “oH SHIT”

aND THEN WHEN THEY CAME OUT ON STAGE AND STARTED THE CONCERT PERFORMING “BEAUTIFUL” I WAS LITERALLY SOBBING

i was a mess honestly i was sobbing and sweating cause suddenly it got really hot in the pit HAHA

halfway through “beautiful” some of my friends turned to me and looked shocked and they were all “??? AMANDA ARE U OK???”

which i was lol but you know... i knew 100% that i was going to cry during the concert, but i just didnt expect to do it RIGHT AWAY and to cry that hard oOPS

it was probably cause i thought “wow im actually here seeing my ult bias group live and they’re so close to me and i can see them pretty well and im alive at this time bless”

but i was so embarrassed at my reaction and now whenever i hear “beautiful” ill probably cry remembering this

and i actually stopped and calmed down (they used “stop! calm down” reference a lot throughout the concert) pretty quick tho so i could jam and sing along to the next song

anyways here’s when my memory goes to shit lmao i dont remember the order/the setlist that much

but im pretty sure they performed “incomparable” before they did member introductions

and i was LIVING BCUZ INCOMPARABLE IS MY 2ND FAV SONG FROM THEIR BEAUTIFUL ALBUM

when they were doing member introductions, one of my friends wanted to get their attention so we did an arm(?) heart together

and apparently WE GOT WONHO’S ATTENTION BCUZ SHE GOT REALLY EXCITED AND SAID THAT HE SMILED AND POINTED AT US

BUT I DIDNT SEE THAT HE NOTICED US FML (idk where my attention was) T________T

but when hyungwon started talking i cheered for him the loudest/more than i did for the other members bcuz i was so happy he was there

i looked at hyungwon the most during the concert, mainly bcuz he stood on the side of the stage where i had a good view

and also bcuz hyungwon is SO BEAUTIFUL!! HE IS THE TRUE VISUAL OF MONSTA X!!

even though he was healthy enough to come to the LA shows, i think he was tired/not at his best bcuz during one performance he was sitting down on the steps of the stage and he had his hand covering his eyes :((( (idk if he was tired or if he did that to see monbebes up on the balcony better)

after hyungwon, the member i looked at the 2nd most was kihyun bcuz HAVE YOU SEEN THAT BOY????

when they sang “white love/girl” i thought i was going to cry since i always cry when i listen to it at home but after my first embarrassing cry i think i was done cause no tears came out lol

I REALLY ENJOYED ‘READY OR NOT’ AND ‘OI’ LIVE. im more of a fan of monsta x’s louder songs with the booming basslines (but of course i like their softer songs too!)

for the member unit stages, i wanted to take pics/record vids but everyone had their phones up during these times so i decided not to take pics/record anything and just enjoy the special stages

BUT I GOT REALLY SHY WITH HYUNGWONHO’S “FROM ZERO” STAGE BCUZ WONHO!!!! AAAAAAAAA

and then everyone went wild when hyungwon was kneeling(?) down and wonho touched him lmao

REALLY hoping starship will release a studio version of “from zero” on their next album or something bcuz I LOVE IT (esp the chorus)

i dont really have much to say about shownu, minhyuk, and I.M’s “24k magic” cover bcuz i couldnt see them/the stage that well but it was a fun performance i think!!

kihyun and jooheon’s “mirror” cover WAS SO GOOD??? IT WAS POWERFUL AND MY FAVORITE SPECIAL MEMBER STAGE. like the lighting for the stage, jooheon’s rapping, kihyun’s VOCALS.... all of it was perfect

also not to say that any of the members were ‘bad performers’ bcuz they’re all great, but i definitely thought that kihyun and jooheon were in general the best performers throughout the whole night

for “white sugar” the members threw candies/chocolates into the crowd and wONHO KISSED THE CANDIES/CHOCOLATES HE HAD BEFORE THROWING THEM

i didnt catch any of them but if i caught wonho’s???? not to be that fan but i probably would never eat the candy/chocolate l m a o

oh so i just remembered i didnt write anything about the VCRs, but that’s intentional bcuz i honestly dont remember anything from them.... 

all i remember was in one of them the members find hyungwon sitting up against the wall with his face busted and everyone in the crowd went “AWWWWW”

besides performances... what else do i remember...

there was wonho imitating the translator!!

and jooheon’s new(?) aegyo???? he didnt do the kukukaka thing but something (still cute) with his dimples :’)

and I.M sang some of that “L-O-V-E” song

also I.M asked the crowd, “do you know who the ace (member) is in monsta x?” and then he said something like, “it’s all of you! monbebe(s) are the 8th member of monsta x!” ❤

back to performances, when “shine forever” came on i tried not to laugh bcuz one of my friends’ sister said some stupid funny shit about kihyun’s part in the chorus where he goes “SHINE FOREVER YEAH YEAH YEAH”

so now whenever i hear “shine forever” i always think of what my friend’s sister said lmao. i used to not like that song that much tbh but i enjoyed “shine forever” live, it was great!

“TRESPASS” LIVE IS AMAZING; EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG AND DYING (INCLUDING ME)

then after they performed “fighter” they went off stage to prep for the encore so i used this time to sit down bcuz MY FEET WERE REALLY TIRED AND MY BACK HURT

glad they ended with “no exit” (one of my fav songs!!) and “5:14″, but i also dont really have anything to say about these performances lol

but wonho THREW HIS SWEATY TOWEL INTO THE PIT 

AND OF COURSE I DIDNT CATCH IT SO WHOEVER DID IS LUCKY

but even if i did catch it i wouldnt know what to do with his sweaty towel (again, not to be that fan but i would never wash it and try to conserve his sweat??? sounds gross but what else would you do lmaoooo)

kihyun said they’d come back soon (PLEASE COME TO SEATTLE) and they’d go to kcon in the future

and then you know there was the streamers and confetti (they only landed near the front of the pit tho asdlnfs) and then the boys bowed 3x and said good bye to everyone :’(((

for the ending video/credits the song that was playing was “miss you” but i didnt pay attention to the ending vid bcuz i was trying to find my friend group since we all got separated/paired off while in the pit lol

they didnt perform “miss you” or “stuck” or any of the songs from no.mercy but that’s ok cause the concert was still amazing and i loved every minute of it and it was only my 2nd kpop concert i’ve been to but it’s the best :(((

my throat ended up hurting after and my voice sounded a lot lower but it was worth it !!

hitouch

before i start i just want to say i HATE MYSELF bcuz i cant express how im feeling correctly/my facial expressions dont match with what i say so through the hitouch i hoped that i was smiling LOOOOL but im pretty sure i looked shocked the entire time

k so my friend group was freaking out

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO (INSERT BIAS NAME)??” “I DON’T KNOW!!!!”

when we were getting closer to the front of the line to see/hitouch the members we were all, “WHO’S THE FIRST MEMBER ALSDLA”

so the order for hitouch it was: I.M, hyungwon, kihyun, shownu <-> jooheon, wonho, and minhyuk (ill explain why i did the arrow thing for shownu and jooheon below...)

and how the hitouch was set up, the members were to your left and there was a table to separate them from the fans

i had my lightstick and a wonho paper heart in my left hand so i was doing hitouch with my right hand

I.M was wearing glasses and lemme tell you I.M IS HANDSOME AS FUCK

i had no idea what to say to him so i just said the first thing that came to mind and it was something like: “the show/you guys are so amazing!!”

and I.M smiled, closed his eyes, nodded his head, and had this really satisfied look on his face and he said thank you!!

hyungwon was next and i wanted to tell him “thank you so much for coming! please stay healthy/please take care of yourself” but all i ended up saying was “thank you so much for coming” ASLDA FUCK

then kihyun... OMG LET ME JUST SAY THAT KIHYUN IS SOOOO NICE

since i fucked up what i wanted to say to hyungwon i decided to just say “i love you” since it’s not hard to remember compared to a personalized message (even though they hear “i love you” thousands of times) + they’d understand “i love you”

but i told kihyun “i love you” and FUCKING KIHYUN... hE HIT ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE, CUTE TEETH SHOWING AND AN EYE SMILE AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY AND HE SAID “THANK YOU”

SO AFTER KIHYUN MY MIND WENT BLANK

so that’s why i dont remember if it was shownu or jooheon next IM SO SORRY AND I ACTUALLY DONT THINK I SAID ANYTHING TO SHOWNU AND JOOHEON AND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER TOUCHING THEIR HANDS FML BCUZ AFTER KIHYUN I WAS DAZED

but i remember shownu just had his normal resting face and then i do remember jooheon was smiling and i could see his dimples!!!!!

so then i think wonho and minhyuk were the only members who were sitting down, BUT WONHO WAS IN MY VIEW AND I PANICKED

cause wonho is my ult bias and... he means so much to me and there was no way i could express it in words so i quickly said, “wonho, i admire you so much i love you”

and all i remember was that he smiled at me and THAT’S OK THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME IM FINE HONESTLY!!!

minhyuk was last and i was actually trying to rush... bcuz i kept hearing security saying to “move along” and i was the last in my friend group to do hitouch and i didnt want them to leave me behind so

i wanted to tell minhyuk “thank you for existing” bcuz this boy really makes me feel better when im feeling down and he is my source of happiness

but i think i just said “i love you” bcuz his reaction after would make the most sense if i said “i love you” to him

so i told minhyuk “i love you” and as i was trying to leave/go i could still feel his hand in mine??? like he didnt let go of my hand right away and i was CONFUSED

cause i was focusing on catching up with my friend group, but as my hand was slipping out of minhyuk’s i turned to look back aND MINHYUK’S FACE WAS CLOSE TO MINE BCUZ HE WAS LEANING OVER THE TABLE TOWARD ME AS I WAS LEAVING BCUZ HE WANTED TO SAY “THANK YOU” AND HE SMILED AND NODDED HIS HEAD AT ME

I LOVE MINHYUK WE HAD A LINGERING TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND I DIDNT CRY AFTER THE HITOUCH/EXITING THE VENUE BUT IM CRYING NOW BCUZ THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS ONLY HITTING ME NOW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!

but really though the whole day was truly amazing (i know i said this so many times asldjsal) and i had such a fun time... seeing monsta x, even though they’ll forget me, ill never forget them. ❤ being there to see them live and up close and there with friends i’ve only met for the first time + making new friends has become my most happiest experience ever. thank you so much monsta x for my life??? i love them so much. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

[houseofdemi-blog]

Playing with Fire - 06

Summary: After breaking up with you, you decide the only way to get back at your -now ex-boyfriend and avoid public humilliation is by making a deal with resident bad boy Min Yoongi: you’ll give him money as long as he pretends to be your new boy.

Genre: Romance.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Rating: Mature (fluff + smut + angst)

Length: 2.6k

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -  Part 7 -  Part 8 [Finale]

A/N: i think this one is super boring if i were you i wouldnt bother reading it but if you do THANKS FOR SUPPORTING THIS IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME

“You should seriously listen to some of his music. He's unbelievable.”

“You've said that already.” Wendy rolled her eyes at you, taking a set of polka dot patterned underwear in her hands.

“His lyrics are amazing, I swear. And his rapping is so different and unique. It's like he was made to-”

“'-To stand out from the rest of artists in the underground music industry.' I know. You've been saying that exact same sentence for a whole week.” now it was your time to roll your eyes and ignore the bored tone of her voice by waving your hand dismissively. “Have you realized how much you talk about Min Yoongi on a daily basis? Not to mention how much you've been hanging out with him lately. I couldn't believe it when you sent me a text this morning asking me to shop with you for lingerie.” she returned the polka dot bra to its belonging hanger and kept looking through the pairs of panties next to it.

“I don't talk about him that much.” you scrunched your nose at the hot pink bra in your hands, immediately discarting it on the pile of underwear on sale.

“Whatever you say. Are you sure you're not starting to develop feelings for him, huh?” she teased, poking your side with her index finger. You giggled and smacked her hand away playfully, telling her to shut up, trying to avoid answerking her or yourself, for that matter. “Anyways, me and Yuju are going out tonight to grab some pizza, wanna come?” Your phone buzzed in the back pocket of your jeans and you opened up the message notification.

yoongi: what are you doing tonight?

Your eyes shot up from your screen to look at your best friend distractedly eyeing another pair of underwear. You bit your lip and replied back, maybe too fast for your liking.

you: why? are you finally taking me to a fancy restaurant?

yoongi: does my couch count as a table and chinese takeout as a gourmet dish?

You bit back a snort but couldn't help the smile starting to creep at your lips as you typed back.

you: absolutely

You looked up again before pulling your cell phone back into your pocket when your eyes fell on the pair you were exactly looking for. You reached out, taking and scanning the surprisingly soft white lacy fabric in your hands.

“White?” Wendy's eyebrows furrowed on her pretty face, clearly judging your election. “You? Buying a white set of underwear?

“God, is it that bad I'm trying to add some diversity to my closet?”

“Alright, alright. At least it's cute.” she raised her hands in defense before walking towards the cashier to pay for her owm choice of underwear.

“It's perfect.” you mumbled, seemingly hypnotized by your fingers running through the material in your hands.

Two half empty boxes of chinese food laid carelessly open on Yoongi's table while a black and white movie you both had lost interest in played in the background. Your head was leaning against the armrest, legs extended across his couch as your feet rested on his lap and his hands had found their way to your knees, drawing random patterns on your skin. You raised your gaze to look at him, with his feet propped on the table in front of him, his chest moving up and down in slow motions and his head leaning back on the couch's back with his eyes closed.

“Yah, are you asleep?” you lightly kicked one of his thighs with your foot and his hand instantly wrapped around your ankle, stilling your movements.

“No.”

“Then why are your eyes closed?” you tried tearing your foot away from his grip, causing him to use both hands to stop you from moving.

“I'm tired.”

“Why did you ask me to come around if you were just going to fall asleep?” you kept figdeting your legs over his lap, trying to get a reaction out of him and knowing perfectly he was growing impatient and close to losing his temper under his composed demeanor. He didn't answer, not being able to voice out he had started to find something so satisfying, so calming and so sufficient about your presence being near.

“If you don't stop moving, I swear...” he warned, a menacing growl leaving his mouth.

“What? Are you going to punish me?”

His eyes shot up and a jolt of excitement ingited in the pit of your stomach.

You covered your mouth with the back of your hand, trying to muffle a smirk by biting on the nail of your index finger when he moved his head to the side and made eye contact with you.

Your smile was ripped away from your face as he sat up and kneeled in front of you, gripping both your ankles and dragging you across the couch in a swift motion until his body was between your legs and yours under him. He placed both hands on either side of your head and lowered himself, admiring your hair sprawled messily on the cushions, your flushed cheeks and your parted lips letting heavy pants out of your mouth.

“Don't you ever get tired of being a bad girl?” he mumbled in that familiar low voice you already recognized too quickly, lips ghosting against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you couldn't help but to reach up, trying to close the gap between the two of you. You whined when he pulled away, not letting you kiss him. Right when you were about to complain, he sat back and his hands undid the zipper of your jeans. Before you could say a word, he had roughly slided them down your legs and threw them somehwere on the floor.

He proceeded to take his shirt off too, dropping it next to your already forgotten trousers and your mouth watered as it always did whenever he exposed some skin to you. Then his hands gripped your knees and pulled them apart, exposing your clothed but newly dampen core to him, eliciting a gasp from you

You lifted your hands to try to bring him closer once again, wanting to feel his chest against yours; desiring to find out if the beating of his heart matched the rhythm of yours. But his hands took a hold of both of your wrist and placed them on either side of your head, going back to his previous position.

“Yoongi.” you whimpered, not really sure of what you were asking him for, not really sure if you were asking for anyhting at all.

That's when he pushed his jean clad erectiong against you, drawing out yet another gasp from your lips. You echoed his name in a moan when he repeated his actions, this time, making you wrap your legs out of instinct around his waist.

He buried his face in your neck this time, tongue dancing along your skin and teeth dragging your flesh between them, surely leaving yet another pretty bruise like the many ones he had left already on your body. One of his hands untangled from yours and travelled down south to where you needed him most and you sighed in content when his fingers pushed your drenched underwear to the side without hesitation. He ran them up and down your wet lips, making you close your eyes shut as one of his fingers entered you out of sudden.

There was no need for him warn you or for him to wait for you to adjust, your own juices already being enough lubrication to prepare you for him. Inserting another finger up to his knuckles, he pumped them in and out of you all the while you moans and throaty curses filled the air He lifted his head from your neck and looked at your beautiful face as he fucked you with his fingers, each time faster and deeper than before.

“I'm never going to get tired of seeing you like this.” he rasped, making you open your eyes to meet his, your heart skipping a beat and the room spinning around you as a flash of fear crossed his expression. Almost as if he realized his mistaked, as if he realized how wrong what he had said was, the motion of his hand slowed down gradually as he looked at you and opened his mouth, maybe trying to find the words to apologize, maybe to take what he said back, you didn't care. You didn't listen. You didn’t want to listen.

So you just brought his head closer with the hand he had abandoned on the couch earlier and pressed your lips to his in a needy and rough kiss. He kissed back without a doubt, and his hand started moving again while your tongues fervently greeted each other

He swallowed your moans with his mouth and you managed to tell him to get rid of his pants between kisses. He obliged, leaving the foreplay aside. He didn't even take them off completely, only reaching down to unzip himself and free his erection, spreading your juices over it a couple times before pulling your thin panties aside and entering you, finally.

You both moaned in delight and pulled back from the kiss momentarily to catch your breaths. You didn't look at each other as he moved inside of you at a relatively fast peace, keeping your eyes closed. One of his hands gripped your thigh, bringing you closer and digging his digits on your flesh as the other held his weight up next to your head. Although he ended up dropping it and wrapping it around your other thigh as well as he kept fucking into you, hiding his face once again in the crook of your neck. Your nails scratched his back and you felt his already sweaty skin under the palm of your hands.

The distant sound of the long forgotten main characters in the movie in the background complimented the noise his hips made as they snapped against yours and mixed with his muffled groans and your probably too loud gasps. It didn't take long for the two of you to reach your climax, making you pull at his hair as you clenched around him when he stilled inside of you and dug his teeth in your shoulder, filling your walls up with his release.

Both of you stayed quiet for a while, just holding onto each other until he slipped out of you. You almost groaned in protest, loving a little too much the feeling of being so close and so connected to one another. You could tell his lips curled up in a smile against your skin as he lifted the two of you up from the couch after making sure your legs were still tightly wrapped around his hips. Then he lead the way to his bedroom.

You woke up in the middle of the night with Yoongi's sleeping form next to you. You weren't even sure if you had slept at all. It might have been seconds or maybe a good quarter of an hour. You didn't know, but you still couldn't pull yourself to look away from his face. His arms underneath the pillow supported his cheek, his blonde hair fell again over his closed eyes and his plump and chapped lips were ajar while the sheet covered his naked lower half.

You craved to reach out and push his golden locks to the side, to carress his cheekbones and his nose and to kiss his swollen lower lip -the small wound inflicted by yourself a mere hour ago before he had collapsed next to you, exhausted.-, but there was something holding you back.

Not really sure of what his words meant earlier, you still remember how the air around you had shifted and how your throat had shut down and the way your heart had faltered inside your chest. You felt, for the very first time since your deal with Yoongi was set, like maybe, possibly, perhaps, not everything was as feigned as you two tried so hardly to establish.

You were sure the way he made you feel could not be fabricated, you were sure the joy you felt just by getting a message from him or seeing him waiting out for you outside school was not a performance. You were never that good of an actress, anyway. And the sentence he worded out earlier made you wonder if it hid exactly what you were thinking it hid. You wondered if it hid what you, yourself, were hiding.

You knew deep down that it would eventually all come to an end and that thinking otherwise was just deluding yourself. You knew that, as you admired him on his sleep, ending it all in that very moment was the right thing to do. You knew that you should probably get out of bed, put your clothes back on and leave without looking back. Then you would text him saying the deal was over and you would part different ways, as it was suppossed to happen from the start.

But the one thing you weren't sure of was the terror overpowering the inside of your chest. The same dismay that made your heart speed up and that had been preventing you from getting sleep for the last couple of weeks. You also weren't sure what the cause of your anxiety was, but something told you it had to do with the blonde haired boy laying down next to you and the thought of not seeing or touching him ever again.

You also knew there was only one way to conclude your pact, as painful as it would be for one or the two of you.

You sat up, careful not to disturb Yoongi's sleep and pulling one of his sweatshirts lying on the floor over your naked body. Your gaze immediately shifted over Yoongi's music equipment and computer and you stood up, tip-toeing silently and eyeing the desk until your eyes came across exactly what you were looking for.

You took the small USB pen drive between your fingers. The small device containing every single bit of musical creations Yoongi owned, every single bit of his individuality and originality as an artist, every single one of his dreams, his stories, his pain, his past, his passion and his future.

You squeezed your eyes shut and inhaled a deep breath, shaky fingers shoving the pen drive into the pocket of your jacket hanging over his chair.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi's groggy voice startled you and made you turn around, heart beating out of your chest as you looked at him. With his hair disheveled hair, rubbing his swollen eyes and slightly yawning. “Come back to bed. It's cold.” he said, opening up the sheets and motioning at the spot you had left a couple minutes ago.

The sudden urge to cry was almost too strong, but you procured to swallow back the lump in your throat, letting a smile overtake your features and making your way to the mattress. You crawled until you were next to him again, your back to his chest. His hands sneaked around your waist and you laced your fingers with his as he spooned you from behind while his body heat started to warm yours up.

And then the little voice in your head told you in a mocking and sing-song tone they way you felt around him had nothing to do with his body's temperature, more so with the gentle kiss he placed on the back of your neck, the feeling of his steady bread fanning over your hair, and the pleasent and already too familiar scent emanating from his pillow and, above all, how at home it felt to be surrounded by Min Yoongi.

[mm-words]

i hate the nights when i just want to sleep but i keep thinking. tonight i was thinking about the things that you remember as a kid, but you’re never really sure of it. usually the things that cause you a great deal of distress. and i was trying to figure out why i got so anxious about the deep end of the pool. i just felt so silly about crying about being in the deep end and almost crying a second time bc i couldnt touch the bottom. 

1. (i even asked my mom about this) i was in pre-k. i took one swimming class. i very loosely remember my teacher trying to teach me to float. and he just left me. floating. but not the proper way. granted, i was in reaching distance of the side of the pool so i could get out if i wanted, but i was 4. the only thing above water was my eyes, nose, and mouth. and i was just stuck with my feet dangling underneath me. he was just looking at me and wouldnt get me out. i think he thought i wasnt as nervous bc i wasnt speaking or moving; he thought i was learning something.

2. every summer my whole family, extended and all, would pitch in to rent a charter bus to go to a theme park. my 2 older cousins took me out with them to the wave pool. i was hanging onto the back of one of them. she’s tall and skinny. i’m short and skinny. the waves start to come out and she gets so excited. the 2 of them are laughing and playing. she takes me off her back and says she’s just gonna hold me bc it’s easier. and im gripping too tight. she’s having so much fun that she starts to forget about me and how short i am. and i slip away. i just keep getting hit by waves and i keep bouncing above and below the water. flinging my arms. she picks me up and takes me back to the shallow end. they just laugh at me and joke about it. i mean it was only a few seconds though, right.

3.  there was a neighborhood pool i used to go to all the time when i was 7-8 years old. i was living with my sister’s siblings at the time. they were always closer to each other than me, for obvious reasons. i usually was the outcast, i was quieter and was never really included in the jokes and games. even if it wasnt on purpose. sometimes it was though. one of them put me on a floatie and said we were gonna go to the deep end. he said i shouldnt be worried bc it was alright, he wasnt gonna swim away. we were just gonna go there and back. except he swam away. and all 3 of them just looked at me and laughed in my face. and talked under their breath. and i just laid there and didnt say anything. faked a smile like i wasnt worried. i just waited until i floated back.

4. this didnt involve me. i wasnt born yet. my mom and aunt were kids. it was raining one night, very hard. my grandfather had been drinking. someone thought it was a good idea to let him try and drive home. he never made it. he was 1 mile away. he hit a curve too fast and over corrected. his car landed upside down in a river. i’ve been over that bridge so many times that i forget. i wonder if my family thinks about it every time. a part of me thinks well why didnt anyone learn to swim. and another part of me knows why.