#for context: our the dude in front of her had a trailer thing

[linuxealcipher]

Rip to the woman who came to Wendy's, trying to order a single large chocolate frosty, only to be traumatized by me screaming very angrily

"You are full of lies"

As soon as she pulled up to order.

[angrylizardjacket]

Yaaasss!!! Jelous Ben was si cuteee and we love a supportive mother, her mom is fantastic and a savage. I hace a question, how did you come up with reader's character in x-men?? I legit googled it as I thought it was a real character, so welk done.

i love her mum so fuckin much, dude, she��s supportive but can still be embarrassing at times. i wrote her, not like my actual mum, but like my dad now that i think about it. dude literally told me over the phone that he’d physically fight people for shittalking me (not just in general, there’s more context, but the point still stands). idk i think it’s disingenuous to not let parental characters have certain flaws, like they’re allowed to be overprotective and spiteful, as well as caring and supportive. i love her too.

oH SHIT DUDE LEMME TALK ABT MY GIRL CASSIDY TEMPLE I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND I”VE PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO HER THAT THIS WILL HAVE A READ MORE

so cassidy’s powers are actually based off of an xmen oc i’ve already written 70k about, Aoibheal Cassidy, younger sister of Banshee, Sean Cassidy, and Cassidy Temple’s name is a reference to her, since originally I was going to essentially have Y/N playing Aoibheal (because it’s my fic and i can include an homage to my xmen oc as a treat). the powers themselves are based loosely on Multiple Man from X-Men: The Last Stand, except Cassidy’s clones can’t live a life of their own like his can. In the xmen fic, aoibheal starts off with having unlimited clones, and they can explode because i thought it was neat tbh.

From the original fic, Molotov Heart, chapter 3, rubatosis:

[Context; humans experimenting on mutants between X-Men First Class and X-Men Days Of Future Past have caught Sean and Aoibheal and they experiment on them even though Aoibheal’s powers have not manifested (she is approximately 13) and they kill her brother in front of her]:

Stunned into silence, she can feel something white-hot building inside of her, all the rage and fear and pain becoming almost tangible.

She mutates.

Copies of Aoibheal, clones, appear around them, filling up the space between the now screaming and bewildered 'doctors'. Aoibheal herself doesn't seem to notice the clones, bawling her eyes out, an action the clones themselves are mirroring, and she thinks of nothing but freedom and escape, focusing on the white-hot feeling inside of her until it overwhelmed her. With the force of a bunker-buster bomb, the clones began to combust, began to explode, first a few, and then all at once. Killing the human personel who had kept her hostage, the blast reduced the warehouse to mere cinders, freed Aoibheal and left her clothing in tatters, but she was alive damn it.

The reason Cassidy has a limited number is because i needed a way to have her powered up as a horseman, like a distinct power up, rather than just something unseen like heightened reflexes and strength. 

I would like to point out also, that it’s not stated, but Cassidy’s explosions (NOT AOIBHEAL’s) are never to do with heat, they’re always about force. the explosions themselves are never hot, never have anything to do with fire or anything like that, she builds up force inside of the clones, and lets it tear her apart from the inside out as a wave that destroys the things it comes into contact with.

The scream was originally hereditary, like Banshee, it developed as her secondary mutation.

From the Marvel Wiki:

The Secondary Mutation (or "Second Mutation") is a phenomenon in which an existing mutant undergoes another mutation, gaining additional powers, such as healing, or a change in appearance.

Secondary mutation is noted as the appearance of new powers, or an increase in existing powers.

It was stated by Beast that the secondary mutations usually occurred in the twenties of the subjects, and generally appeared in time of great stress.

From the original fic, chapter 8, nodus tollens:

The appearance of the secondary mutation:

The world falls apart in a blur of movement. The gun goes off just after Raven jumps and makes a break for the window, the bullet curves as she crashes through the glass, following her on the way down. Tackling Erik earns Hank a mean right hook to the jaw, but Aoibheal’s there, looking at Trask like a dear in the headlights, memories whipping through her head like a hurricane - the sick fuck looks pleased to see her – her mouth falls open and she screams. She and the clone scream in tandem, their voices supersonic as the surrounding people clutched their ears for dear life; struggling to keep a hold of the feeling in her chest that caused her to explode, the clone detonates like a firework, scorching the wallpaper while Trask is stumbling to the door. There’s blood leaking from his ears but Aoibheal can’t move, can only scream and relive the memory of her brother’s murder over and over again.

Hank discussing it:

"I've never seen a secondary mutation so vastly different!" No longer blue or furry, [Hank’s] smile is excited as he looks over at her. Sharing the cockpit feels almost familiar by now, with Aoibheal curled up in the passenger seat nursing a glass of water. "It makes sense though, your original mutation – the explosions – would be an extension of your temperature immunity, but your secondary mutation is hereditary."

Cassidy’s scream, however, unlike Banshee’s, only effects things with ears, not inanimate objects like glass. Of course she could learn the right pitch to get glass to shatter like an opera singer, but generally speaking, her scream only effects things that can hear. 

OKAY LETS TALK ABT THE STUFF I FABRICATED FOR THE FIC

oh GOD I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH MAGNETO

not as in romantic, as in he is literally her character’s main inspiration in the films. i’m literally making a fake trailer right now that’s intercut with moments from his DOFP speech that was broadcast to the whole of america.

i love dofp (possibly to my detriment) but i always thought it was weird that no-one was ever like.... magneto has a point. BECAUSE HE HAS A POINT. he’s speaking directly to disenfranchised and SCARED mutants across the nation, and yet everyone’s heralding Mystique as the new face of mutant kind. YES she made a point, but like.... did no-one vibe with magneto when he promised the destruction of mankind? i would. anyways.

so i thought it would be interesting for this character, Cassidy, to have this hero-worship of Magneto, taking his words to heart like scripture, ultimately making her a foil for Phoenix, Xavier’s protege. 

it’s why i specifically included this:

“You should be,” you hissed, putting your all into the words as you spoke them, and you hear Ben inhale sharply beside you, “we shall inherit the Earth.”

“What follows is a struggle as Cassidy and the figure – revealed to be her clone – proceed to kill the man. When they’re finished, and the man’s dead on the ground, Cassidy straightens her outfit, and we hear –“ as the director reads, Michael begins to slowly clap, “a slow clap, and it’s revealed that Apocalypse, as well as Storm, Angel, and Magneto, had all witnessed the event.”

“We are the future, we are the ones who shall inherit the Earth,” Michael reads as he stops clapping.

“Magneto,” you breathe reverentially, and when you look to him, you and Michael share a sharp smile.

which is a direct quote from magneto’s speech in Days of Future Past:

You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different. Well, I'm here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who will inherit this earth, and anyone who stands in our way will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world. And to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this; no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadows in shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me. Fight together in the brotherhood of our kind. A new tomorrow, that starts today.

which ALSO is what turns her into the next big villain for the franchise, because she sees Magneto, the man she kind of thinks of like a god, turn on and help kill Apocalypse, the man who claimed to be an actual god, and side with the people who, ultimately, don’t want to destroy the human race like she does, and also killed the man she loved. she takes Magneto’s ideologies and turns them up to 11. he fucks off to create a mutant paradise away from prying eyes and is happy, she won’t be happy until all humans are punished.

it’s why, in the beginning, she and raven can’t still work together, because raven wants to rescue mutants, but not at the expense of unnecessary human lives, and cassidy sees all humans as complicit in the torture, and therefore deserving of punishment. 

she has deemed herself judge, jury, and executioner of human kind, and they have all been found guilty.

i’m so excited to see if i get around to writing some of the next film because i really want to explore the dichotomy of Xavier’s ‘no-one is ever really gone/there’s always hope’ and magneto’s ‘you were right to be afraid of us, we are the ones who shall inherit the earth’. Everyone has given up on Cassidy in one way or another, whether it be by betrayal or death, and so when she finds this symbiote who literally becomes a part of her, makes her stronger, and is happy to kill people with little regard for who they are, she’ll take it. 

EDIT: here’s the first 26 seconds of the fake trailer (Y/N here is played by Jurnee Smollett, aka Black Canary from Birds of Prey)

ANGEL & RIOT

i wanted y/n to kiss ben hardy that’s literally it. 

actually no that’s not it 100%, i think it’s super amusing in a kind of bleak way that he got fridged for her, like his death, both in the “””comics””” (as in the comic universe for the fics) and in the film, causes her to seek out a force that would help bring him back to life. in the “””comics””” she originally seeks out a mutant, but when the mutant who can bring people back refuses to help her, she’s told of experiments at The Life Foundation, who are working on engineering the next step in human evolution, and she’s thinking that they’re experimenting on mutants again, like trask, and goes in guns blazing, but instead finds symbiotes. she bonds with a symbiote, thus becoming Riot Control, and the symbiote initially promises her all these things, including being able to find a way to ressurect angel, but eventually (in the “””comics”””) the power he gives her overtakes her need to ressurect her love, and riot ends up using her to try and build a ship to bring more symbiotes to take over earth.

IN THE FILM

okay OKAY okay OKAY so she’s looking for a way to ressurect angel at first, but riot’s in her ear while he’s seeing all her memories, and is convincing her to get revenge on the people who are responsible for his death (nightcrawler, jean, and Magneto specifically) so its not that the xmen are just in the plot by happenstance there’s like actual beef, love it. 

I also love that Cassidy’s powers are handicapped when she’s got Riot, since her scream would injure or even possibly kill him. Yes i specifically paired her with a symbiote for that reason, which is also the reason why her clone explosions aren’t heat based. 

but anyway, can i spoil the ending? i wanna spoil the ending;

so there’s this big showdown between riot control and the xmen, and jean confronts cassidy, trying to talk her down like ‘what would angel think if he saw you? What you’ve become?’ and Cassidy’s furious, thinking that jean’s trying to guilt her, like, angel would be so ashamed

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth, you have no idea what he’d think-”

“He’d be terrified of you.” And it’s so fucking like, cruel and cold coming from Jean.

“Shut up.”

“You have become a monster; you have maimed your idol-” [we cut to a shot of magneto looking all fucked up and bloody, watching with anger in his eyes] “and you have left Angel for dead. If you’d really cared about him, you would have already gotten him back. Instead, you come for revenge against the people who could have helped you -”

or something like that, and riot control has a whole breakdown, lashing out, snarling that no-one could help her, and when they tried, they ended up dead (angel, apocalypse) and she starts losing control, and her voice starts to distort in and out of riot’s, making it clear he’s taking control of her completely. 

there’s this big, final fight, which culminates with jean grabbing cassidy’s face and trying to burn riot out of her.

“No-one is beyond help.” And Jean’s like, got tears in her eyes, desperate to save this girl who’s caused so much pain, but who sees herself as so wretched and beyond help, and we see the symbiote burning away and screaming, but also the physical signs of cassidy’s mutation as like, peeling away in embers, like the black scales around her eyes, and the way her whole eyes are seen as black is now clearing away, and she takes both of Jean’s hands and forces her to keep holding on, to keep looking in her natural fucking eyes for the first and last time as she burns out too.

“You can’t save everyone.” and then Cassidy’s just ash in the wind.

also this ending, in a meta-sense, makes sense, because after this Disney buys Fox and there’s no more this-universe X-Men films, so they had to do a self-contained story, there couldn’t be things left super unresolved.

OR maybe she’s fine, maybe she gets saved and riot burns out of her (spoilers, he fucks off and doesn’t die, hence, Venom (2018); it takes him about 20 years to recuperate) i haven’t decided.

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck episode 1 reaction

I’m really enjoying Druck so far! My ideal remake would be to start with a new script and story, for sure, but this one seems very in line with Skam’s principles and style. I found myself looking forward to upcoming clips.

Clip 1 - Jonas gets on a soapbox

I really love that they revamped Jonas’ opening monologue to something that is apparently relevant to German teenagers and potentially lays out some of the themes covered in the show, and that it kept the rough, raw look of the visuals.

THEY LOOK. AGE APPROPRIATE. Thank Godddd

One of the things with Skam France and Skam Italia is that a lot of people reacted by saying, “wow, they’re all so beautiful” and internally I was like nnnnnnnoooOOOOO that’s not the point but I didn’t want to be a dick about that. 

Lol at the same song playing when Leonie walks across the yard being the same song in the Skam Italia trailer. According to Wikipedia, “Bad Girls” has also been used in Skins, Gossip Girl, and 90210. It is to teen drama shows what “Hallelujah” is to sad crying scenes.

Well I immediately bought this Isak (Matteo?) having a crush on Jonas, just saying.

As far as cutting to Matteo similar to how Skam France showed Lucas … I preferred this because it’s not giving away Matteo’s feelings. Lucas definitely had a vibe that ~Something More was up that the audience should suspect. This wouldn’t have pinged me, as a new viewer, that Matteo has a secret that Hanna doesn’t know. Like I could have bought he was just bored of watching his friends make out.

Clip 2 - Hanna and Jonas in the bedroom

So Hanna and Jonas have great chemistry so far! They definitely have that easy, established couple feeling and seem comfy with the physical affection.

Youth by Daughter is such a Skam song that I’m sort of shocked it hasn’t been used already.

I was hoping for another glimpse of Matteo but I will accept his love of memes.

Is the Hero Party Druck’s version of Russ? Sounds like. Is it a party where people dress up as superheroes?

Clip 3 - Amira’s introduction

Um, YES. Good job, Druck.

This scene was a brand new spin on an existing clip! This is really what I want to see - taking the old material and making it fresh and distinguishable.

So the theater kids were changed into a refugee welcome group, and of course they assumed Amira was a refugee. I liked that they established this specific commentary.

The girl from the club gives Amira a little smile after she explains the purpose of the group as if to be like “we help people like YOU” and Amira’s just like yep … not this shit again.

Amira! Loved her immediately. She and Hanna probably just did their homework in companionable silence after this encounter, but it’s already pretty cool that the Sana character is the first one of the girl squad established (other than Eva/Hanna).

There’s a sign for a party in the background, is that the Hero Party?

Also, I like Hanna making a self-deprecating joke about herself being the one who needs tutoring. 

But honestly, how lovely that Amira got to share this moment with Hanna and even make a joke about white Germans. Because you know plenty of white people Would Not Get It.

Aside from his cultural obtuseness, I’m kind of fond of that dude and his giant hair.

Clip 4 - Matteo gets a ticket to the love nest

Well this remake just came out and said what I thought was always implied, that the reason Jonas doesn’t want Matteo to be alone is because of his family. I don’t mind this dialogue being forward since “weird family” could pertain to a lot of things, not necessarily serious (I don’t know what the exact words imply in German). Like, his family could be really into hunting for cryptids. It’s vague enough not to take it too seriously.

Listen, while I love Hanna and Jonas so far and think they have terrific chemistry, I could totally ship Jonas and Matteo. Jonas just seems really fucking excited about Matteo coming with them.

Where the fuck did Matteo come from???? It was like he teleported. We saw right over Hanna’s shoulder before he appeared and no one was there.

Though I see he took a pic of them while they were chatting that he posted to IG, lmao.

I kinda like this casual loungey, come up and sling an arm over your shoulder Matteo. He definitely seems the most chill of the Isaks so far.

ALSO they did the whole thing of Matteo watching them leave, HOWEVER this is why it works for me here more than in Skam France: they don’t show his face. They don’t make it seem like he has a secret. I definitely think you can infer that, but I also think you can infer something more simple, such as how it’s symbolic of how he’s the third wheel in this relationship. I think OG Skam did that best by having Isak trail after them, but this wasn’t too OTT. 

So it looks like we’ll be getting the full cabin episode, not just a weekend?

Clip 5 - Party

The title card being for Monday is a pretty big mistake, though I saw that the official account responded to it and apologized.

Hanna singing as she’s getting dressed is a really nice touch. We all have our getting-ready-to-go-out anthems.

Mia is already feels more like Manon than Noora, in that she’s a got more of a softer, sweeter initial vibe. I did like that they showed her watching Hanna get dragged by Leonie and deciding to cheer her up. And that they had her clarify that she had to leave (for some unspecified reason) because it was always kinda funny that Noora made a dramatic first impression and then disappeared into the night, leaving Eva wondering “who is that mysterious yet sexy stranger...”

Vilde (Kiki?) giving an actual description of Sam makes sense, like damn, there could be a dozen Sams in that club. And having the mix-up still happen is a bonus.

But most importantly, obviously, is that Kiki thinks girl Sam is extremely hot. Look, one of these remakes has to deliver on gay Vilde. Don’t keep dangling the carrot and then taking it away. plz.

I LOVE Amira and this seems like a major change in characterization from Sana? Not that Sana was allergic to fun, but I have a hard time seeing her show up at parties without her squad. Amira is actually present at parties and dancing - alone, it looks like - which is something I wondered about Imane in Skam France. What made Imane want to get in on Daphne’s party? If they go with another “the girls are planning to throw a party” plotline as a way to do russ, then it’s a decent setup for Amira to actually be seen partying. But I really hope that they take this shift in characterization to greater depths and don’t just kind of adapt Sana’s dialogue and personality around Amira. I really want to see a distinct character develop, and this is a good start.

I instantly want to see more of girl Sam and I kinda love that she’s the character with the distinctive lipstick on this show.

Kiki being like “you both have the same name, you’re both black, we get it, super funny” and asking them to leave - damn, congrats on making the worst first impression of the Vildes? Even if I get that she’s upset at the moment.

Penetrator (?) Sam seems a bit dorkier and less like a douchebro. But maybe I just feel that way because he’s posing with his cat on Instagram.

Liked that they put in Hanna sitting in front of the mirror taking off the makeup, her hair messier, as a contrast to the fun sexy getting ready scene. Just some quiet reflection of the bummer kind. That’s always how it feels after a party that turned out to not be so fun. At attempt was made to be social … and the attempt had limited success.

Changing Hanna’s parent from a mom to a dad (assuming there’s only one parent around) is a small yet potentially interesting change. Especially because conventionally, relationships between daughters and mothers are considered to be tighter than relationships between daughters and fathers, though this is by no means universal. I’m quite excited to meet Hanna’s dad and see how the parent-child dynamic plays this time around.

General comments:

From what I can tell, some of the Druck actors are in their teens and some are in the 20-22 age range. Because overall these do seem to be younger, inexperienced actors, I’m more inclined to be lenient on their performances than the other remakes. I think this is fair - Skam France and Skam Italia cast older actors to play teenagers, and in the case of Skam France many of them had already been in movies and TV shows (not sure if it’s the same for Skam Italia), so I do have higher standards for their acting. If they are going to sacrifice authenticity, then it better be for the sake of talent, otherwise what’s the point?

I mentioned this in a Skam France post too but I find it distracting that the clips end with a title card, even though they might not be able to do anything about it. It’s just a little reminder that you are watching a TV show and it takes away from the immersive experience.

One thing I noticed on Instagram is that a lot of the characters seem to have pictures of them when they were babies/little kids. That’s pretty typical for people to post on social media, it was just common enough that it caught my eye. (Hanna/boy Sam/girl Sam/Kiki, if you want to look. Cuuute).

I saw some people thought Matteo was too obvious in his feelings for Jonas, but while I thought the chemistry was there, I personally didn’t feel that it was too distracting.

On that note, I’ve been thinking about whether it’s OK to show characters other than Hanna’s (Eva’s/Emma’s) POV and I think what generally works for me is:

a) does this shot reveal something that our main girl couldn’t pick up on from the rest of the context of the scene 

b) does this shot reveal something that the audience shouldn’t yet know 

c) is this shot taking over our main girl’s big emotional moment. 

If so, not a good idea. Basically I think what works for me is brevity and ambiguity.

The reception to Druck seems to be very positive so far, going off the tag’s content. I think the enthusiasm is support for the idea that many Skam fans aren’t 100% opposed to the remakes as long as they feel like the show captures the spirit of the original series.

However, it would have been interesting to see what the reception would have been if Druck premiered first - is it that Skam France was more polished than some people preferred, and Skam Italia had some aspects from the casting and the trailer that turned people off, that Druck seemed like a strong alternative? Or if Druck premiered first, would we be more cynical about it? (I think this could have been true to a degree, but there are also some changes, like Amira’s introduction, that might have intrigued the fandom.)

I am feeling good about this show but I’m also trying to keep my expectations in check, lmao. If I expect it to completely revamp the Skam S1 storyline I’ll probably be disappointed; however, what I hope for it is at least some minor changes in characterization that create distinct, consistent personalities and that they write the script forward from these changes rather than contorting the story to fit them, if that makes sense.

I think calling it Druck is in itself a good sign, in that it seems more indicative of wanting to create a clear identity outside of a Skam remake and appeal to German teenagers. “Skam” is not a word that means anything to French/Italian viewers unless they know the original show.

[malltales]

Queen of Nothing; A Story of Redemption

(This story is based on real events. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and ridiculous.)

By April of 2020 I broke up with my partner of 5 years, lost my best friend; 13 year old dog, Jasper. All within the context of the global pandemic.

Bike touring was something I've always wanted to do but scared to attempt alone. I managed to talk my old friend, Kevin and his girlfriend, Ava, into a 5 day bike tour from Pittsburgh to Washington, DC on the GAP and C&O trails.

It’s important to know that Kevin and I had been friends for almost a decade, and I had yet to meet Ava in person. Kevin and I had been roommates for several years, on and off. We also suffered a dramatic falling out that resulted in us not speaking for almost 3. I assumed since we reconnected, he had grown.

Day 1: Pittsburgh to Ohiopyle

The first day of the ride was the last day the three of us were together. Kevin and Ava were packed to the gills with panniers and rode fast at the start. I hung back, averaging 11 mph. Ava circled back several times to check in. We talked the whole way and made fast friends.

Kevin stayed far ahead until we reached our lunch stop. After which, he lost steam quickly. He'd only done one long ride to prepare and never ridden with fully loaded panniers. Which is like saying you trained for a 5k and then decided the day of the race to strap a 40 lb bag to your body.

I tried to hang back and ride alongside Kevin for a bit. I offered a draft he could pull from because I was still feeling strong. “Just go ahead.” He said. “I just need to be at my own pace."

Here's the thing, everyone hits a point in a long bike ride where they start to ache and fatigue, especially if you aren’t used to riding for a long time. I was fully expecting some super cranky moments from all of us, including myself, but I was not prepared for it to happen this early.

Ava and I stopped a few times for snacks and to shake the ache out of our hands and butts. We took a detour to spelunk our way through a crumbling, abandoned warehouse, filled with graffiti and paraphernalia of angsty teens’ hideaway. Kevin passed and said nothing. Twice, we found him lying flat on his back in a field, smoking a cigarette, complaining that something hurt and he needed a break. Every time we found him, we stopped, asked if he needed anything, asked if he wanted us to wait and every time he said no. So, we soldiered on. Although Ava and I worried about Kevin, we heeded his words and assumed he just needed to power through and be left alone. AVa and I kept each other motivated and the mood light. We sailed through burnt umber rock formations. Gentle streams coursed through them like veins.

87 miles into our longest day, we reached the town of Ohiopyle. The last glimmer of sunset was fading quickly. Ava and I arrived first. We had a daunting 3 mile, 3,000 ft climb yet to go. Kevin arrived shortly after, hopped off his bike and ran into an ice cream shop. He walked across the street and began whispering to Ava, while I glared at the map. I could tell by the body language he was not happy. Ava started to cry. I called out: "Listen, we are all tired and starving. Whatever it is you guys are debating should wait till we climb this."

Kevin scoffed and walked away. I waited a few minutes and asked Ava how I could help. She was crying and explained he was upset that we "left him behind." He said she "abandoned him.”

I was instantly furious. This rhetoric was painfully familiar. Flashbacks of past arguments flashed through my brain. I did not take deep breaths, I did not pause; I marched over to Kevin. (If you have never seen an adult angrily eat an ice cream cone, I would highly recommend it.) Standing by a river, licking his moose tracks he yelled at me. He tells me that I also abandoned him and left him out of the group that he was "working so hard at keeping together." I laughed, I couldn't help it. I figured if I laughed, Kevin would realize how utterly absurd this was. All I could think of was a hot shower, food and bed. He got angrier. I understood that nothing in this moment would get through to him, so I threw my hands in the air and said "The reality is, you got smoked by two chicks because you didn't train. I'm sorry your ego is bruised. I'm going ahead."

I walked back to Ava, apologized for making things worse and asked her if she preferred to bike with me to the house or stay with Kevin. She opted for the latter and I forged ahead.

It was 8:30pm. The way ahead was pitch black, up an incredibly steep switchback. It was a two lane, country road with no shoulder. I tried my best to stay on the bike, but after half a mile, I gave up. I started walking. My legs could barely take the climb on foot, my calves were cramping, my thighs were shaking. Every time a car whooshed by; I froze against the guard rail. I only had two small lights and was unsure if I could be seen at all. I begged the universe to send someone to offer me a ride. I pleaded with the coyotes howling in the distance not to come nearer. I shrunk at the Trump signs on the rolling, rural properties. After an hour and a half of walking, one foot in front of the other, with a small blinking light on my back. I finally made it to the Aribnb. I immediately hopped in the shower, ready to be greeted with luxurious, warm water. NOPE. Ice cold. I got clean quickly, started the food and cursed the fact that I let Ava carry the whiskey. Kevin and Ava arrived shortly after and we all went to bed without saying much at all.

Day Two: Ohiopyle to Frostburg

The next morning, I woke up energized. The house was quiet and no one was awake. I had time to slip out. A wave of relief ran through me. I began packing my bike, made coffee and realized there was only one bike: Ava’s.

All Kevin’s stuff was gone and so was he. I contemplated my choices: sneak into Ava’s bag, find my extras in her panniers and tip toe out before she woke up OR wait for her. I didn’t know Ava well, but I didn’t feel right leaving my new friend in the mountains alone.

Ava woke up and described the fighting and frustration that ended with Kevin packing his stuff and heading out on his own at 4am. I was well-acquainted with this kind of performance and lacked the fortitude to deal with it. Ava asked if we could ride together. I agreed, with a condition: we would not spend time discussing Kevin.

By the time we stopped for lunch, Kevin had sent scores of texts. Ava read them to me. I lifted the embargo for lunch because I knew she was feeling anxious. The tone of Kevin’s texts were hostile and accusatory. Ava listed things she could have done differently. I assured her she did nothing wrong. We cried. I shared my experiences from the past few years, which were mirroring hers. After leaving this kind of maltreatment in my past, I would not tolerate it from anyone else.

The 67 mile ride we completed that day was difficult and long. We were slow and sore. The gradual and consistent uphill of the pavement pummeled our strength. In the end, I’m glad Ava and I rode together, even though we started late. She helped me keep a much better pace than I would have on my own. Our pleasant conversation ended abruptly when we arrived in Frostburg. Kevin was texting; demanding to know where we were. He had been there for hours and wanted to check in. The hotel reservation was a tiny room with side by side beds. Ava told me she didn’t have the money to book another room. There was no way I was about to share a room with this dude who left his girlfriend with a literal stranger in the middle of nowhere. So, I bought them their own room. I threw the keys at Kevin on my way out and biked an extra two miles, uphill, to get Epsom salts. It was 9 pm when I finally unloaded everything in my room. I was elated when I got in the shower and felt hot water. I was so tired I could barely think, but I was so happy with my decision. $200 for peace was a small price. I reviewed the day in my head and was proud. When you’re demanding so much of your body, you must ask yourself every step of the way: what do I need right now? Most of the time the answer is simple: food, a break from the saddle, water, a quick stretch. But sometimes it’s hard to parse out which of those comes first. I congratulated myself for surviving the emotional cyclone going on around me. I was asking myself what boundaries I needed to finish this trek and make the most of it. I went to bed that night, again, with the intention of leaving in the morning on my own.

Day 3: Frostburg to Hancock

The following morning, I woke up to a text from Ava that read: “he broke up with me.”

On a bench, in the cold, we drank coffee and between sobs, she filled me in. He left early in the morning without a word. With 71 miles in front of us, I was nervous. Ava was exhausted. She could barely string a sentence together. I offered to pay for another night at the hotel for her to rest until she figured something out. She said: “I feel like I have to get to Hancock tonight to work things out. If I don’t, that will be the end of us.”

I was heartbroken, but I knew this feeling too well. When the misery you know seems better than the unknown. I saw myself reflected in Ava’s tear streaked face. I sat exactly where she was 3 years ago. I knew the terror. I wanted to tell her everything I knew from the other side, but I knew she couldn’t hear it. So, I nodded my head and said we needed to get on the road.

We left behind the mostly paved GAP trail and continued on the dirt C&O. It was gorgeous. Ava helped me let out air from my tires for the new terrain and gave me pointers for dirt riding. I was grateful for her presence, but I knew her head was spinning. It was not as grueling as the previous day, but we were both dragging. We made a lot of stops to rest. 50 miles in we realized we missed the town we had planned to stop for lunch. We were running out of fuel to pedal. We ended up at a trailer-turned biker-bar, covered in Trump flags. It was our only option. Biker dudes on the porch were laughing and pointing. Calling us “monkey masks.” Inside was a totally different story. Everyone was friendly. We ate and drank and left remarkably unscathed. We only endured a few rape jokes from drunk townies on our way out.

The last 20 miles were brutal. I was struggling to stay in the seat. It was dark and my light ran out of battery. We put our phone flashlights on and stuffed them into our bras to light the way. Deer skittered across the path a few feet in front of us and we leapt every time. Ava told me Kevin got them their own room and I sighed with relief. She asked how we would approach the following day. I told her she didn’t need to worry. They would go their way and I would go mine.

Inside my comfy, roadside motel room I was faced with yet another challenge. The three of us were supposed to end our ride in DC and train to Baltimore where I would stay with Kevin and Ava for two days. This, obviously, was not going to happen. I quickly had to figure out where I was going to stay, with barely any internet, no motivation and about an hour before I succumbed to sleep. I text Darren, a mutual friend, who lived in DC. I explained I needed a place to crash, even if it was just one night. He agreed and I fell asleep in ten minutes. I had one more hurdle to deal with: find a shop to ship my bike from DC to Chicago. Darren came to my aid again and offered to take my bike apart and ship it from his place.

Day 4: Hancock to Harper’s Ferry

Being on my own felt like pure freedom. I was on pavement for the first 10 miles. It was bliss.

I set off slowly and adopted a new mantra: hustle hard when you can, rest when you can. My legs were tired but knees weren't aching as much and my hands were going numb less.

In Williamsport I found stairs leading down to a long, concrete dam that extended far out into the Potomac. The sides were slanted toward the water. It was the perfect height to dangle sore feet in the cold water. I sat, legs outstretched at the top of the dam. As far as I could see from left to right was water. The Potamac seemed never-ending. This was an expansive feeling to digest with my newly thawed breakfast burrito. I felt sluggish and heavy after my peaceful lunch views. The day before, Ava kept me at a steady pace and I missed her company.

Then came a long stretch of trail that rode along the very edge of the water. I ambled slowly upward then back down. I felt lighter and my ride smoothed up. The trail trickled back into the woods. I clipped my way along loping curves. The Potamac peeked from behind trees just beginning their transformation toward fall colors. I had to talk myself out of stopping every mile for a picture.

Toward the end of this 6 hour day I was rewarded with longer glimpses of the Potomac through the trees. Vignettes of the river were dotted with burning red leaves and outlined in ochre shadows. The large juts of slate erupted from the middle of the rapid, splitting the river. The river deepened and I knew I was close to Harpers Ferry.

I approached a 5 story, winding staircase, directly in front of the sunset, hoisted my bike onto my shoulder and climbed. Huffing and puffing, I nearly doubled over at the top, but the view snapped me out of it. The Shenandoah and Potomac rivers were merging beneath my feet. Civil War ruins dangled on two slate islands to my left. I felt like I was standing in the middle of the world, alone with this gorgeous vista. And I arrived powered by my own two legs.

Pulling off the bridge I pedaled through the cobblestone streets. I was pleasantly surprised that the inn I was staying at was not far and not up a hill. I decided to forgo a shower, change my clothes and head straight over to a restaurant. After a glass of wine and a plate of pierogies, I watched the sun set over the town with the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers roaring beneath it. I felt so thankful; I arrived in time for dinner and a sunset.

Day 5: Harper’s Ferry to Washington, DC; The Final Leg

Alright so here’s where everything gets wrapped up with a neat, little bow, right? Almost.

It was the last day. Only 63 miles; the shortest ride yet. I wanted to savor it. This was the only part that felt like a vacation. I used the heavy fog covering the town as an excuse to walk around and explore.

Harper’s Ferry is the most charming town. Thomas Jefferson described the scene as "worth a voyage across the Atlantic" in his Notes on the State of Virginia. It’s also the mid-point of the Appalachian trail, which I stumbled onto while climbing the steps of a church. I was stunned, breathing in the moment. I thought of everyone who trekked this way before me, when our country was so young.

At about 9am, the fog was rolling out and so was I. I was on top of the world. Nothing hurt, I was cruising at a good speed. I had all the time in the world to get to DC. Darren was going to meet me on the trail at 6pm and ride with me to his place. I was hoping to be done at 4 and happily awaiting his arrival with a beer in my hand. A 10 degree drop in temperature and rain didn’t dampen my mood. I felt free as fuck.

After an hour of solid rain, the sun shone through and warmed everything up. I sloughed off my raincoat and started my Spotify. I was laughing at my luck and singing along with First Aid Kit’s “King of The World.”

And then….POP. Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

I skidded to a stop. A giant nail was right through the middle of my tire. Deep breaths. Ok. I can do this.

I sat down on the ruin of a guesthouse by the side of the trail and started working. If you’ve ever changed a brand-new bike tire you will understand what I was up against. It’s not ideal when the rubber is new and unworkable. A white-haired man in a yellow safety vest wandered over to inspect my predicament. He introduced himself as Don. Don was my grandfather’s name. When Trail Don shared that he was also a retired veteran, I thought for sure my grandfather sent him. Don “helped” me get the tube in with a screwdriver and promptly popped it. I only had one tube left. There wasn’t a bike shop for 40 miles.

“I live about 20 minutes down the road and I got all the tools in my garage. I’ll take ya back there and get ya fixed up and back on your way.”

On the road to Don’s house, in the middle of Trump country, my thoughts were racing. When we pulled up, a welcome sight greeted us: a giant rainbow flag and a lawn littered with human rights signs. Ok, I thought, I think I’m in the right place. Relief swept over me. We changed the tire and I met his kind wife, who offered me a sandwich. We loaded up and drove back to the trail. I thanked him profusely and began my last 30 miles.

The day was replaying in my mind and I felt my heart overflowing. This was indeed the culmination of my independence. Even if I did need a little help from friends and a few strangers. I was relishing the solitude, but it was a huge comfort to know there was a friend on the other side of this journey with whom I could share my triumph.

The sun sank slowly in the orange sky over Rock Creek Park. The frogs started chirping as the stars steadily emerged. The clouds unleashed a downpour. I saw a bright headlamp and familiar face coming toward me.

I made it.

[rosedalemike]

The Mood: Blog #5 "Perception/Loneliness”

written Sunday April 8th at 5:36 am     Ever wonder what others think about you? Not that you should care what others think about you, but do you ever sometimes just wonder if maybe you were a dick/bitch to that someone when you didn't mean to be- and then on the other hand- way too nice/generous to someone who probably just talks shit about you? It happens to me a lot. It's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm traveling around by myself.

     Not that anything specifically like that came up this week. I've just been thinking about it more as I've finally been poking my head out of my basement to get back out to play shows. Just kinda like 'what does this person actually think of me? Did they actually just enjoy this show? Would they actually listen to my music regularly?' Not that they need to respect me or anything for me to like them. And, needless to say, I'm extremely grateful they came out to support anyway. It just sometimes makes me ponder things like: who is my actual demographic? What makes our distracted generation listen to an artist regularly? How/why can I make a stranger who has no idea what I do be completely invested in my art yet people who have seen me grow this garden for years suddenly have zero interest in Rosedale?

      Maybe some of those answers are relatable to reasons why I enjoy being alone. I know that probably sounds really sad to most people but hear me out...     

     Intro to sidetrack: I got into this topic with a long time fan at tonight's show. She was thanking me for being so nice and always inviting her out to shows. I had to tell her 'if only you knew how many people block me for that same gesture' (see blog #4). She was genuinely pumping my tires pretty good. Don't get it twisted- her boyfriend was right there the whole time and he was also cool A-F, as the kids say...

      She went on to say how she used to hang out with Hedley years ago whenever they were in town and they were rude dicks. She couldn't fathom their conversations. As easy as it might have been for me to jump on the freshly-greased "Hate-Hedley" bandwagon (kinda punny if you watch Trailer Park Boys) It got me thinking that maybe, as humans, when we're in our packs we often come across as unwelcoming. Especially bands! The inside jokes, the anything-goes-ness, the gear-geak battles/bro-downs. Looking back, I'm sure Rosedale sure fit that shoe for years! And I'd imagine macho sports teams come off as even more unwelcoming to strangers. (there I go- generalizing again...)

     But it's all perception- How do we perceive their inside jokes and harmless offside humour? Maybe Hedley were total dicks a few years ago, maybe they're not anymore. All I know is nothing really surprises me and I think even some of my favourite people get offended out of perceived context- not easily, per say- just out of common, outside perception. I'm sure I could go even more south and throw in some President Trump examples here but that dude gets enough external spotlight. And to clarify (before I get me a page-full of political/social facts that I have 0 any interest in); I'm neither a Trump or a Hedley fan...or Nickleback, for that matter...but I'm also not a total hater. I'm just saying they're prime examples of how perception and context have some serious horsepower especially in our ever changing world of social media/open-broadcasting.     

     Here's a wider, more harmless example of the two sides of perception that's a little closer to home; my set at Hard Luck in Toronto last Saturday. There was a high energy and big crowd in the room right as I was setting up. I played an ok set, nothing remarkable in my mind. But a very rare thing was happening; Humans were turning into Rosedaliens right before my eyes! They were feeding off of my music in ways only artists on the radio can relate to! They were eating up the positive message and yelling positive messages right back! The vibe was bliss! Nobody cared what anyone in the room might think of them. The phones were only out for "Eldorado's Climax" or to record/snapchat/livestream! After the set people were buying all the merch! I must have taken 15 photos with fans and strangers! Signed a few posters and CDs! Young, hip humans were telling me their stories! My tires were pumped way past any psi they've ever seen! Etcetera!!!

     Then I played London Ontario at the legendary Call the Office on the same night of the week, same time... (The only difference with this given Saturday was that there was no Easter/Passover excuses in my inbox.) But there were a total of maybe 15 people there. They were standing 30 feet away of the stage. I played/sang/delivered by far the best Rosedale set so far this tour with a proud smile on my face and, although the other bands and their friends kinda danced and inched closer towards the stage, not a single CD or shirt left the merch bins. Nobody asked to take their photo with me. Come to think of it, I was even getting the whole "This-dude-needs-a-band" vibe.

      So why did the mediocre Toronto performance get a way better response than the solid London set? Or even the relatively strong Brampton set that we filmed. It seems like it had nothing at all to do with me. It was entirely based on the crowd's perception! My good friend, Jonny (who is pretty knowledgeable with live music/performance/production), came out to both the Toronto show and the Brampton show. Even his perception was completely altered by these energized, Toronto meat baffles! Jonny thought the Toronto set was better. “You’re ready! Epic, prolific,” were his and his Toronto company’s words. He wished I'd filmed the Toronto show instead of Brampton. Kind of off topic (but, really, why I used the term "meat baffles"); Jonny also said the sound was bad in Brampton (and so did his Brampton company) and much better in Toronto. Where-as Bryan and Danny...and my mom... said that Brampton was the better sounding Rosedale show (and they were all also at the Toronto show!)

      So just because I had a generous, high energy crowd in front of the stage in Toronto, I was worth something to everyone in the room. I even sounded better, in Jonny’s opinion. People wanted pictures, autographs, and merch because their perception of Rosedale was a promising one. Yet, I could play the same exact set on the same night, same time, in a more intimate setting with a more solid performance and have my picture, signature, and merch less desired than just a couple more drinks. The other two bands played amazing sets as well. I was actually, genuinely blown away, like, fanboying on Adelaide’s guitarist, getting chills from Mermaids Exist’s harmonies etc. But they too set up their merch table for nothing. It is a very common display of how people's perception is strongly influenced by the context of their surroundings.

      The only person, arguably, in the room who felt...in the presence of greats- was myself! I know I played a legendary set and I'm 100% certain that if Adelaide and Mermaids Exist keep slugging away like that- they're gonna come built-in to everyone's iPhone 12s!

     This “perception-check” is nothing new to booking agents. They no longer accept buy-ons. (Of course I've tried!) Money can't buy you happiness, or a loyal following. Agents, labels, and managers want their bands playing to full rooms only. Intimate shows (as in half empty capacity shows...yes, I took the pessimist approach) are only creating negative perceptions. If, by some stroke of Modesty-Miracles, some of these rock star agents did stumble into reading this, they were thinking "No shit, Shirlock. Stop playing small shows" 5 paragraphs ago. I'm just letting everyone else know; the artist is about 10% responsible for impressing/entertaining the audience. The other 90% is the context of that room and a good chunk of that context is just simply the amount of people there. (other smaller pieces of the pie; venue decor/layout, sound engineering, staff, house music ...to name a few.) Maybe all of this is very obvious to most people already. I just wish solving all the pieces of that pie were easy or at least in my hands. But the modern ratio still just seems crazy to me, growing up in the punk/emo scene.    

      I think maybe another reason it seems crazy to me ties back to the fact that I'm alone a lot. When I'm alone I have more of an open mind and agenda. I think this could be the case for most people. There was one guy at the near-empty London show who was jumping up and down during my set. He was alone and so stoked. He didn't care what anyone thought- a proud new fan! I threw a pick perfectly into his hands at the end of my near-perfect set (#pingofftheforehead, Toronto show inside joke). He's been messaging my instagram all day. He didn't buy merch (he might have if there was a big generous crowd there, though) but he signed up and watched all of my youtube videos today.

      I think most people actually have a better time traveling/exploring/wondering out by themselves than they realize. I believe you're more accepting of different environments and cultural differences when you're by yourself. You're taking it all in and enjoying it. You're making new friends out of strangers who have no knowledge of your history as you have no knowledge of theirs. You feel like you can open new chapters of your own book and appreciate the fresh pages they're showing you, and consider the context. You might be thinking "so-&-so would love this" but chances are, if "so-&-so" were there, you'd likely be missing this too while off hanging at the bar or whatever.

      When you have your crew/family/entourage beside you for every door you open, life can start to pass you by. You might be having a great time with them and jel with them like peas and carrots, but the element of wonder and discovery isn't quite the same. It's sometimes like an invisible stress and I'd even go as far as to say that it is the main reason why bands break up on their first tour. Bands aside though, I've heard first-hand stories of good friends traveling together that went through episodes where they were so pissed off with each other that they wouldn't even talk to one another for hours. Sure, it could be the simple fact that you're now living with this friend/band hour-by-hour on this trip (Egos clash, ideas vary, mistakes affect everyone, true colours flourish etc.) and you're stuck with them for the next however-many-days. But I'm certain that a group-of-friends/family/band living together in their hometown would go over way better than living together in a new city every night. And traveling with a significant other- well that's an entirely different blog for a different day.

      I'm not sure if any of this is proven or factual. This is just me rambling at 5:30 am after a show. Another thing I hear a lot is "Mike, you just haven't found the right “one”/bandmates/friends". Fair enough. But maybe I'm just your classic degenerate- I could just be a weird lonely dinosaur that likes to roam alone. #lonewolf. But I think all of that coincides with the original point I made about being a dick to someone you actually really like/love. We've all done it, I'm sure. The nicest human in the world can be passive/harsh without realizing it. But as much as I think butting heads is inevitable when you're living together in uncharted land, there are friends that manage to really understand me and at least aim to dodge my weird pet-peeves (ie. guitar cases on stage). Of course, they can't drop their established lives/commitments to come travel around with me for months. So maybe there are layers to my solo-ness. (...loneliness sounded too sad.) 

LYRIC PARTY: 

Chasing the sun isn't my kind of fun I'd rather sit and catch snowflakes on my tongue When summers gone I won't be sad As you cling on to all the good times that you've had 'cause being alone isn't really all that bad - The Ataris "If You Really Want To Hear About It"

     But really, even when there's no stranger's pages or culture shock to take in, I have some great times by myself that I wouldn't be able to have with most company around. I wouldn't be able to write this blog in my bed at 5:30am. I wouldn't be able to listen to my new demos and imagine them mixed like my latest releases with my Westones on my 2 hour drive home from London. That, in itself, could easily be considered insanely narcissistic. And so could this; I love hanging out with myself! We get along very well. My tastebuds can be pretty inconsiderate to my gut's needs, and my lower brain is not too happy with the way upper brain has been handling brief encounters with the opposite sex, but alas, we're working on it!

      Another thing I like about being alone is that I'm pretty sure people like me more. Whenever I have friends around, it's almost like nobody wants to help with anything. And when I'm "working" away on something, a stranger might say something like "where's your friends? Why don't they help you with that?" As if to say "you need better friends, dude." It's really odd but it happens a lot and those little events tend to commit-to-memory for whatever reason. Kinda like that long-red-light that never fails to time out your drive perfectly. (One of the few books I've actually finished reading, "Stumbling On Happiness" (Daniel Gilbert), describes this human condition a bunch... took me three years to finish that damn book.) 

LYRIC PARTY: "Hangman, it's not your fault Commit this to memory The bright ideas are wasted and lost along the way" - Motion City Soundtrack "Hangman" (I could've sworn {or swore??} he said "For bright ideas always get lost along the way" then I looked it up... didn't look up sworn/swore though.)      Anyway, I guess this late night, scatter brained blog wants you to consider the context and surroundings when formulating an opinion/perception. And look at loneliness in a bright light. There are many positives. Don't ignore all your friends and family by any means, I'm just saying; A lot of people fear loneliness like they're gonna die alone and they need company at all times. "Alone time" is your most productive time. And productivity, as vague a term, is probably the healthiest form of instant gratification. So do something productive towards your goals the next time you're alone. And while you're at it, open up a new chapter to that old friend you later get to hang out with...

     Yeah, this one was all over the place. Thanks for reading though. If you made it this far, you're a trooper and I love you. 

Shows this week: Wednesday, April 11th - Ottawa, ON @ Mavericks -  10:00 set time, 19+, $8 cover https://www.facebook.com/events/321180534953651/ Thursday, April 12th - Kingston, ON @ Bar 56 - 9:30ish set time, 19+ish, $10 cover https://www.facebook.com/events/368799986934799/     Friday, April 13th - Potsdam, NY @ Hurly's/SUNY Potsdam -  7:30 doors/ 9ish set time - All Ages , FREE https://www.facebook.com/events/363889120774025/ Saturday, April 14th - Rochester, NY @ Firehouse - 8:00 doors/10ish set time - 21 +, $5 cover https://www.facebook.com/events/568521663507443 Sunday, April 15th - Pittsburgh, PA @ The Smiling Moose - 7:00 doors/ 9:00 set time, 21+, $8 tickets**/ $10 doors https://www.facebook.com/events/402443740204364/ Monday, April 16th - Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop - 6:30 doors, 8:30 set time, ALL AGES, $8 tickets/$10 doors https://www.facebook.com/events/163297504327206/

[tornhoodie]

TLJ spoilers, don’t read this bit if you ain’t seen it

Italics is the thing I’m responding to. Bold is me.

Expectations in film can be strange. Most audiences love to know what to expect when coming into a film, familiarity is comforting and helps us escape. Subverting expectations can help surprise us and transcend the movie experience into something more substantial than an escape, maybe into something great. Unfortunately, The Last Jedi fails in this regard. It does subvert audience expectations, but the price the film pays is not worth it’s price. The things set up in The Force awakens are thrown aside for something surprising, and it succeeds in this, but the story and film are not stronger for it.

*** I can't agree that the mysteries set up were "thrown aside" for something surprising. All reports indicate (including direct from Johnson) that this WAS what was planned, in concert with Abrams and the Story Group. They just weren't resolved in the usual Star Wars fashion. ***

Luke Skywalker’s character is turned on his head. The film starts with Luke throwing his beloved lightsaber off a cliff, which shocked everyone in the theatre. He is an eternal optimist in return of the jedi, even succeeding in turning his father from the dark to the light. Where others gave up on Vader, Luke remained hopeful. Luke remained true. Given all of this, we are supposed to believe that he almost kills one of his own students because he sees the dark has overtaken him? Surely not more than Darth Vader, surely not more than the absolute darkest version of a human being (seriously, the imagery of darth vader is just brilliant). Luke’s failure and reason for his exile does not align with his character at all, making his behavior shocking and surprising, but not interesting. Now that Luke is dead, we won’t get to see him return to the Luke we once knew. There is an argument here that this film is about failure, about coming to grips with and tackling failure to see the good failure brings. Luke should be allowed to fail, but not in a way that contradicts his every thought and move from other films. His greatest failure could have been many things, but almost killing a student doesn’t work.

*** BUT YOOOOOOOOOOO. Let's break this down.

-That Luke would fail Ben and retreat into seclusion is SO CHOICE AND ALSO COMPLETELY EXPECTED. Look at his mentors! Obi-Wan failed Anakin, and went into hiding on Tatooine. Yoda escaped Coruscant and hid on Dagobah. Luke had BARELY any training, only a few books, and a sister strong in the Force. And he was just supposed to train a dozen Force-sensitives including the grandson of Darth Fucken Vader and have it turn out okay? Hell no! He was terrified! Consider everything on his plate, and then consider the three versions of events we get. They all converge to one thing: Ben was becoming tainted, Luke knew it, and Luke was scared. Here's the extra wrinkle to this story though, that takes it away from being just like Luke and Vader: Luke was the old man now, the teacher. And he had historical precedent for how these things went. He knew what would happen if he failed, and his apprentice fell to the dark side. It would be Vader all over again. His fear took control of him, and he acted, and Ben saw this fear take control, and he reacted. Luke was afraid of becoming Obi-Wan, and he let the dark side guide his actions, and he BECAME OBI-WAN. It absolutely totally makes sense within the context of who Luke's mentors were.

-This movie is aaaaaaaaaabsolutely about failure and what we do in the face of it. This was Luke's failure. It is possibly the biggest failure he could have had, and boy howdy he brought it about.

-I mean if there's one last thing that'll cement this its that this old hermit gets a swift kick in the junk by R2-D2 playing Leia pleading for his help. The same message that got Obi-Wan back in the fight.

-and then and then that fear hasn't gone away! He continues to resist training Rey, and eventually tries to burn the Jedi books and end it all, because he's still terrified of failing another student and creating another Vader/Ren. It is only through Yoda coming back and blasting apart the tree that he wakes up and realizes "hey, you know what, maybe its time to clean up my mess." Failure, and what we do in the face of it. ***

Snoke is now dead, and we know nothing about him. His death had an impact on me. I involuntarily put my hand in front of my mouth at his death, shocked at what had just happened. However, his serves no purpose other than to subvert expectations, not to serve a better story. We know nothing about Snoke, we know nothing about how he came to lead the first order, we know nothing about his haggard appearance, and so many great possibilities died with that character. How was he trained as a sith with all of them dead? Where are the knights of Ren and his connection to Snoke? How did he come to lead the First Order (as the SUPREME COMMANDER, not just a high ranking member of the empire like Vader). Snoke’s death surprised everyone, but that’s it. A moment of subversion that does nothing to serve the story.

*** -Snoke ultimately wasn't important to the story of Rey and Kylo. For Kylo, he was a means to an end, and that end was power. Kylo cut him down when he thought he was done with Snoke, when Snoke threatened the one thing Kylo thought he'd made a real connection with: Rey. Snoke held no other true importance.

-It's not the failure of THIS MOVIE (or, even, the entire trilogy) that you thought he was going to be explained, but rather your expectations for what this movie was going to be. Let's get into that:

-Think real hard back to the Emperor. We had one scene in ESB of Palpatine talking to Vader, and that was it. In ROTJ, we have more, but he's still just a scenery-chewing evil wrinkle without explanation. We dont know where he came from, how he got his powers, or how he came to lead the Empire beyond assumptions: dude was strong and people were into it. I mean we didn't even know the dude's name without the novelization. In fact, that's where a lot of the info about his rise to power came from. It was only later, through movies and series and MORE novels that we got his life and backstory fleshed out.

-If you went into TLJ expecting to get the deets on Snoke, or that he was going to be the big bad and last until the end, that was you projecting your own expectations onto something that definitely wasn't promising answers. I mean, the trailers did everything they could to get you to throw those expectations away, with them specifically playing Luke's line: "This isn't going to go the way that you think." That theme, expectations and how our own are dashed constantly because we rely on them too much, IS SO IMPORTANT. It is the keystone to everything, especially the whole bit about Failure we talked about up top. Luke fails because he expects to be able to train all those Jedi. Rey fails because she expects that she's gonna be the next Luke Skywalker. Kylo fails because he expects Rey, whose past is filled with pain just like him, will throw aside her new family, just like him.

-We aren't done with these themes but I've GOTTA move on here ***

Also, The First Order has to be one of the laziest enemy factions in film. We know nothing of their origin. Say what you want of the prequels, we get a very good overview of how the mighty evil empire came to be, an origin story that makes sense in the universe. Even though TFA didn’t give any explanation as to the rise of the First Order, I had held out hope that once we learned about Snoke (the SUPREME LEADER, insinuating he is not only the figure head but the reason for the existence of the order a la Hitler), we would learn about the First Order. But, of course, because the director was so eager to subvert our expectations, we get nothing from either. This leaves The First Order as a lazy, uninteresting antagonist for the rest of the series. “The First Order Reigns” indeed.

*** -I mean, we knew nothing about the Empire in ANH and ESB either, beyond "welp the Emperor dissolved the Senate." As you said there, it was only through prequels and books and games and comics that we got more information, an origin story. Nothing about the run-up to this film indicated that we'd learn about where they came from. Again, the expectations. If you went into the movie expecting clarification, something that wasn't promised, that can't be laid at the feet of TLJ. If it were crucial to the narrative for us to understand exactly where Snoke and the First Order came from, we'd have heard about that stuff in TFA. That was the first movie in the trilogy, that was the one to take the time to tell us all about the bad guys. But it's not! It's not important. It's just not at all important to the story being told here. Here's what was important: the new main characters, their histories, their dreams, their hopes. these are the bad guys, these are the good guys. it doesn't matter what fringe conflict lit the spark of the first order, right now. it doesn't matter where snoke was born or how he got his powers. what matters is that the first order grew in power, created a super weapon, and destroyed the republic. what matters is that snoke was immensely strong and reveled in the dark side, twisted ben solo into becoming kylo ren, and leads the first order. that is PRETTY MUCH the exact amount of information we had in ESB.

***

Leia being a superman in space is one of the worse things I’ve seen in the movies. This doesn’t have much impact with my overall thesis but I have to mention this. Leia is out in space for a long time, we know she is strong with the force, but there could’ve been so many other ways to show this other than this scene. Also, Ackbar dies without fanfare before that scene, which is dumb.

*** -No, this was great if only for the experience of Jessica seeing Leia, floating in space and presumed dead, and her whispering "OH FUCK YOU" in between sobs. I will always remember this scene because it was so raw emotionally for everyone in that theater. THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE when she reached out with the force and pulled herself to the blast door.

-I absolutely get if the scene didn't hit for you; not all scenes do for everyone. I have my problems with some of the more humorous bits in TLJ. But "one of the worst things I've seen in movies" is really strong? Stronger than I think that deserves? I dunno, man. You feel what you feel and I can't tell you otherwise, but I'm certain I could point to like INFINITE scenes and have them be worse than this one.

-but hey. If it didn’t work for you, I can’t argue that.

-Ackbar is a fun character for easter egg purposes but the dude is not nearly as important as the internet wants to make him. The movie was two and a half hours long, and spending more time than they did mourning Ackbar would have been a waste. For all the thinkpieces saying "thank you for mourning ackbar" you'd see just as many thinkpieces saing "TLJ is too long and it's because of ackbar." ***

That leads me to this next part. Admiral whats-her-name that takes over the resistance capital ship is a terrible character all around. When she sacrificed herself at the end for the fleet, there was no emotional impact at all (even given how great the cinematography is during the suicide scene). The director should’ve let Ackbar go out this way, why try to make us attach to some random admiral we know nothing about? Ackbar has history as a character, has a weight to character. Having him go out the way the admiral did would have made a great impact, and seen a great character go out in a very satisfying way. Instead, he is thrown out without fanfare and replaced. The only distinguishing feature of Ackbar’s replacement is that she had purple hair and argued with Poe. Which brings me to another not only throw away character but throw away plot section.

*** -Vice Admiral Holdo

-WHAT

-ARE YOU KIDDING ME MY DUDE

-MY DUDE I CANT WITH THIS

-im putting a placeholder here because i feel A MIGHTY NEED to come back to this and straighten you out but also i just need to move on because how DARE you i dont have time for this section right now

-i came back to this one just to say that you weren't paying attention to Holda and Poe's interactions. You were too excited for an old hero of the rebellion to get his due (ackbar) that you missed the tactic brilliant tactics and heroic sacrifice of of the hero in front of you (holda) which is exactly why it is so important that poe thinks holda should look different. She's not the person he expected, and that colors his opinion of her.

-"argued with poe" my dude, she didn't argue with poe. poe mutinied because she didn't tell him the plan, because he's a fuckin scrub that got their entire bomber fleet decimated in one attack that didn't even do much, because he's too concerned with being a hero of the resistance that he didn't stop to think about the actual tactical necessity of such an attack. which holda and leia did.

-BECAUSE HES A FUCKIN SCRUBLORD AND SHES A GODDAMN VICE ADMIRAL im real angry about this and the Rose paragraphs my man ***

Finn’s entire story was unnecessary and should have been cut. Why are we, as an audience, supposed to care about this story? It does nothing, doesn’t expand anything about the characters, other than being able to see Finn fight his old boss, but the whole story turns out to be a red herring. Rose (Finn’s companion throughout this story) was introduced without fanfare, and we are supposed to feel connected to her at the end when she saves finn, but I have trouble remembering her name. She had a sister that died, and she was sad. That’s all I got. I feel that you shouldn’t introduce a new character into an ongoing series if you won’t do anything significant with development. Finn’s partner and the admiral were both throw away characters. Compare this to someone like Lando, who is introduced in Empire Strikes Back but steals the show in his direction. We get a full fledged character, interesting and flawed, and all in one movie. It can be done, it was just done poorly in The Last Jedi.

*** -Dude you're straight up losin' me now. I have my problems with the casino world of Canto Bight and the things that happen through it, but you're kinda throwing a completely-fleshed-out character into space, and I can't really figure out why? Rose absolutely has motivations and character development. Shit, we know more about her than Poe:

---Sister was on the bomber that destroyed the first dreadnought, but she's not just SAD about her sister, she's PROUD of her sister (she talks about her sister, we know she shares the other half of the necklace, this is all clear stuff)

---She's steadfast in her duty and believes in the resistance, going so far as to protect the escape pods they have from being used by deserters, even when they're all running for their lives (she talks about shocking 3 or 4 people before finn shows up, which is honestly a big deal considering the stress everyone is under?)

---She absolutely believes in doing the right thing for the right reasons, and for standing up for the "little guy," even against the people you thought were your heroes. (again, shocks finn, a hero of the resistance who she ACTIVELY admires and fan-girls over, because he disappointed her, and also tells it like it is to finn re: the war profiteers and who the casino people are)

-She is the fucking emotional core of the movie, man. Her entire thing is hope. She carries the spark of hope within her, like literally she says this and they talk about the spark of hope over and over and over (she delivers that spark to the children of Canto Bight's goat-horse racetrack, and one of them turns out to be force-sensitive yo!)

-We get more about Rose and see more about why she's important than we ever get with Lando. Again, think REAL HARD about Lando's character development. Dude turns on Han, then turns back around and lets the resistance go. We know he originally owned the Falcon but that's basically it. The rest of his character (WHICH HEY, AGAIN, AINT THAT MUCH) comes in ROTJ. ***

There are some good things about this movie. Luke’s final shot with the two suns is a great piece of cinematography, and the cinematography overall is really incredible. The sets were great, and we of course get a cool lightsaber brawl that had some great choreography. Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley are really good in their moments alone, both of them steal the show in this film. Kylo Ren is by far the most interesting character in this series, and I hope he gets a good send off in the last film of the new trilogy. Mark Hamill was not given much to work with, but he did what he could. Even given that, I was enamored with his performance. I am a bit of a fan boy of his voice work, so I am definitely biased in this regard.

*** -Look I know this is the paragraph where you said there are good things but man, I really need you to go see this thing again. Look at all the bullshit Hamill is throwing down. The scene where Yoda comes back, Luke is instantly 30 years younger and complaining to that old puppet about how he tried but it's all too hard. And yeah, that's because Hamill is great, but also its because Rian Johnson fuckin knew exactly what he was doing, and the script gave Hamill so much damn screen time it's ridiculous. He had more time than Ford did in TFA, and knocked every scene he had out of the park. Damn, he was great. ***

I am not upset with the things you would expect, porgs didn’t matter, I thought they were cute, I didn’t care for the animals that were there clearly to only sell merchandise. I didn’t even mind the constant humor, which I think there is an argument that the constant humor weakens the film over all. The film tries to tackle dark themes which the humor brings levity.

What I lament most is the missed potential. We have been given fantastic explorations of the Star Wars universe in books and video games, some great explorations of the Light and Dark side that give a more nuanced view of the Star Wars universe. Luke even starts to mention the Hubris of the jedi, which I hoped he would elaborate on more and go into why he thought the jedi were wrong. I also hoped he would go into why we avoid the dark even though the jedi are wrong, I hoped Luke would explain how he came to these conclusions other than one student that fell to the dark. I hoped so much for so much more. There was a real opportunity here to make this exploration part of the main saga, but we instead get subversion for the sake of subversion, surprise for the sake of shock. There were some great things to build on from the previous film, but those are tossed aside for the sake of surprise. The Star Wars saga is worse because of the director’s decisions, and I’m sad it happened that way.

*** -I'm gonna toss this graph back up to the top. Things that you hoped for, I absolutely understand. There's something to be said for hoping for things. But a lot of what you said sounds a great deal more like you expected one thing, and got another. Your expectations led you to believe that you knew how this was going to go, and you were surprised and disappointed that you weren't right.

-You talk about "subversion for the sake of subversion" but, is that really true? What was subverted? Your expectations for how the story would go? For how the information would get doled out? I mean, lets get into that. Star Wars has trained us to believe that everyone is connected in some grand way to the Skywalker legacy, that history is just going to repeat itself. The prequels did that (fuckin, C3PO, damn), they cemented that. But hey, can I ask you something?

-We all kinda expected this to be another ESB right? After TFA being an homage to ANH, it kinda felt inevitable. Film has taught us to expect the "dark middle chapter," the "Empire" of the trilogy. There were story beats that you/we figured would come up.

-But can you really call it "subversion for the sake of subversion" when NOTHING WAS PROMISED from the very beginning?

-Movies have taught us to expect that the hero's past is mysterious, that they are tied in some mystical way to some dynastical destiny. That the villain at the head of the table is all-powerful, awe-inspiring, and has some rich backstory about how they came to power. But TFA and TLJ don't promise that any of that is coming. Indeed, they follow in the grand tradition of the original trilogy: give as little information as needed to follow the story of a resistance fighting back against a tyrannical empire, and the key players of that resistance.

-TLJ delivered on that legacy. It answered the questions that needed answering while at the same time ensuring that we weren't simply rehashing ESB. It set fire to the sacred jedi text tree, while ensuring that those texts weren't destroyed; they're in the hands of someone else, a new generation who might be able to do some good with them. ***

“It’s time for the old ways to die”…. Maybe they should have thought about that a little bit more before Yoda called lightning down on the Jedi tree.

*** THEY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID THATS WHAT THE MOVIE’S ABOOOOOOOOUT, BURN IT ALL DOWN AND START ANEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, LIGHT THE SPAAAAAAAAAAARK ***

[cofferi]

another complilation of all my yoi thoughts bc why not

I love yoi but I find it so hard to read analysis and discourse on it bc everyone keeps telling me hey it has flaws you know despite its popularity. As if I didn't know already or something. Listen I KNOW it has very successful highs but is also SO VERY mixed and jarring in tone and story due to its messy production resulting in rushed plot and inability to know what exactly it wants to be. You can see different influences pulling it every which way at different points in the show. For eg between 10 and 11 it is absolutely blatant.

Director Sayo Yamamoto is talented but clearly tried to jam everything she wanted to happen within a 12-ep show. She could’ve put Yuri and Victor’s relationship front and centre for the entire duration, but that would mean cutting out choreographed skating sequences that she spent time and effort hiring professional choreographers to make you feel like you were immersed in real skating and side character development has you invested in the yoi world. She had to make a difficult and ultimately damning choice between what she wanted to accomplish and the limited budget and resources she had at her disposal. So she made a business choice, she chose fast pace and high impact which is why the show goes through like four different competitions and what like 20+ choreographed skating sequences? It was to get the attention and audience needed to guarantee more time to tell her story, because she didn’t have the luxury of a high profile company or a prior audience from a manga or light novel to guarantee sales and tell a slow burn explicitly detailed build up of emotion. And I don’t see this as an excuse at all. It’s yoi’s downfall.

I can only think of other successful sports-kind-of/romance-kind-of shows to contrast it like Chihayafuru that had brilliant pacing and amazing character development as well as immersed you in the competitions. The romance is sidelined like hell and you don’t quite feel the full effects of it like you do yoi, but it had a whole 2 seasons each with 24 episodes to tell it and yoi just didn’t have that amount of time.

Yoi’s genres don’t include yaoi or BL but it pretended to be at least BL, don’t even try to deny that with me. Those moments where they touch other, faces close, it screams typical queerbait. They had it right from the trailers back in Aug. The only difference is it DID follow through on it, and I’m so glad it did. But the attention on those moments was meant to draw in as big an audience as possible, it profited off it. And it worked.

So it does the kiss, it does the engagement. They are gay for each other. This isn’t in dispute. But I agree that it continues to be deliberately ambiguous as to their ACTUAL explicit feelings for each other. They don’t ever say ‘I love you’ or ‘Marry me?’ ‘Yes’ bc they need to keep you waiting for it! They literally do the “are-they-aren’t-they?” thing. Except we’re not waiting to see if they are actually gay for each other anymore, we’re waiting for more than that. We’re waiting for explicit declarations of love and explicit marriage proposals. What better way to get you to watch s2? This is how the business of anime works.

And it’s frustrating! Bc as much as I see them making leaps and bounds towards breaking through queerbaiting and stereotypes, they STILL revert back to the oldest tricks in the book. It feels like they literally only meet US halfway. They’re willing to show engagement rings and suggest marriage but they aren’t willing to TELL us it. That promised talk in 12 didn’t fucking happen. In an environment where we’ve been constantly told over and over again to pick up on ambiguity and draw our own conclusions, yoi had at first said no they’re not going to be like every other suggestively gay show and do that. And then it goes right back to doing it at the end. I understand the business on why they did that, along with making nonsensical plot decisions about Victor being coach and a competitor, I guess so we can wonder how the hell that’s supposed to happen, but it doesn’t make me feel any less unsatisfied and disappointed at what could have been. It changed its mind part way through, not so elegantly, from being a 12 episode all-encompasing show to one that now has infinite array of possibilites to go from here and a dedicated fanbase to back it up.

It’s not a case of censorship. It really isn’t. I was skeptical of this initially too bc so many series show this type of hesitance to “showing too much”, but honestly there are so many examples of shows breaking these so-called laws that I realized it really is more of a societal norm not to piss off too many people, or even that creators don’t want to inject themselves into that kind of discussion.

Those interviews with “transcendental love” and talk of “soulmates” annoys me. While I love the idea that Yuri and Victor can just be themselves and love each other and need no explanation, the series doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists within the context of other media we’ve been exposed to. And calling them these vague terms said arbitrarily outside of the show, that really mean nothing within the context of the actual show, starts to seem like just a way to skirt around the dialogue of them being gay.

And I get it. I hate seeing those youtube videos titled “Yuri on Ice Review” that look like they’re narrated by some otaku looking guy about to rip into how this show is fujoshi shit. I hate seeing comments saying this show is only popular bc it has hot guys in it and that it stole the Crunchyroll anime awards from (insert show). I don’t fucking care about the awards. It’s a popularity contest. But I also despise seeing these kinds of comments even if I know not all guys say things like this. I understand the unwillingness to face this kind of criticism and backlash. But it’s going to face it no matter what at this point, it’s already established itself to be THAT kind of show. So maybe, just embrace it like ep 7 and 10 tried to step in the right direction to do?

In essence, the show from here can go either one of two ways. It can turn into Sayo’s actual vision as to what she wanted to do with the story and the characters, with more than enough time and resources now to accomplish it. Or it’ll turn mainstream, appealing shallowly to its now massive audience without fully committing itself, baiting us AGAIN with sort-of confessions and proposals trying to secure a third season and a fourth or a movie or whatever. This is what happened to bakemonogatari where its first season was super interesting and thought-provoking despite literally having empty scenes where they couldn’t finish the animation in time, yet going on to be all-time best selling and a huge hit. And while I would argue that it was also a similar type of passion project as what yoi is to Sayo despite initial production issues, bakemonogatari’s successive seasons deteriorated into little more than a self-indulgent wank fest for a dude that just loves sexy girls for an audience that loves the same bc the author ran out of interesting ideas or something.

I don’t want to see yoi turn into that. It has the chance to better itself for its (I guess not even confirmed) second season, but it can’t retcon the mess of its first season.

[kranethios]

Hi!! I'm sorry for my ignorance on the topic. But has Bioware done something wrong?

no need to apologize, nonny! short answer is, kinda yeah, but i want to explain it a little.

i’m gonna throw this under a cut for length and for some fandom discoursey stuff. there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom of it.

let me preface this by saying two things: 1) i love mass effect. i will always love mass effect. i plan to love mass effect andromeda as much as i love the original trilogy. this is true regardless - maybe even in spite - of what has happened. 2) i don’t want to get in any fights. i don’t want any hostility in my inbox about this.

most of the controversy is in regards to a leak that came out recently that describes a scene where liam kind of unceremoniously turns down broryder and says in no uncertain terms that he’s not into dudes. now, i would ordinarily say that this isn’t necessarily the biggest deal, but there are a few pieces of context that make it kind of icky.

first of all, this kinda shuts down fans who were hoping for lgbt+ human squadmates. liam’s our only human male on the squad. cora’s romance with broryder is already confirmed, and although that doesn’t rule out the possibility of her being bi, it means we definitely don’t have any exclusively gay representation, and no mlm period, among the humans in our squad (”squad” here meaning the group of people you can select to accompany you on missions, consisting of liam, cora, peebee, vetra, drack, and jaal). now, maybe other romanceable characters outside the squad will 1) be gay and 2) have the same amount of importance to the story and fleshed-out writing that their squad counterparts have (something i, personally, am kinda hoping for), but bioware’s track record for that sort of thing is… not great.

second, and speaking of track records, i’m gonna talk for a second about the history of the mass effect series and how it’s dealt with lgbt+ stuff in the past. the short version of this is “not too well”. we’re gonna leave aside the issues with the way the asari are handled (which is a whole other thing that i kinda don’t want to get into) and just focus on the numbers by themselves. throughout the whole series, there are two full romance options each for wlw and mlm (for the purposes of this discussion i’m gonna leave out the romances with kelly chambers and diana allers because although they’re both bi, their “romances” are very insubstantial). we know that several bi options were cut, including jack who is canonically bisexual but cannot be romanced by a female shepard. the two exclusively gay romance options (including the only human wlw romance) are steve cortez and samantha traynor, both of whom i love very dearly but they are also both fairly minor side characters that are introduced in the third game. for mlm, there are no romance options until the third game, since kaidan is femshep-locked in the first. and, oh yeah, you might have killed him off. granted, this shows a positive trend as the series progresses, but it’s still kind of discouraging to see that maybe we’re falling into some similar patterns.

third, going into how the devs are treating this whole debacle. throughout this whole marketing campaign that’s been going on, we’ve had fans practically begging the devs to release the romance options, usually being met with some variant of “you’ll just have to wait and see ;D ;D ;D“, especially regarding lgbt+ romances. which is, y’know, all fine and dandy, except that every scrap of news and every semi-reputable leak that’s come out has suggested an abundance of m/f options, and so far the only things i’ve heard about any lgbt+ stuff have been “peebee had a girlfriend once” and “gil is receptive to broryder’s flirting”. nothing quite so definitive as the images in the trailers of cora and scott kissing (which, again, doesn’t mean she’s not bi! and i don’t want to erase that possibility at all! but there’s no evidence that she is, either) or liam allegedly saying outright that he’s not into guys. fans want to be assured representation, not have the idea of it dangled in front of us like a carrot.

overall, though, i’m trying to stay optimistic. for one thing, this is an AAA studio producing a big budget mainstream game, and we all know how the representation issue goes in mainstream media. everyone needs to do better. for another, i’m holding out hope that maybe the non-squadmate characters will provide us with interesting, well-written, and fleshed-out romances, moreso than in the past, and that these romances will come in a variety of flavors and sexualities so that a wider variety of players can see representation of someone like them in the game. the leak about liam was kind of a blow, though, and the disappointment among lgbt+ fans resonates with me as well.

tl;dr: bioware is kinda not treating their lgbt+ fans as well as they could be with news about romance options in andromeda, and their track record in the mass effect series is making fans rightfully uneasy. i’m trying to keep my chin up and hope for the best.

i’m trying to keep my tone pretty informative and i hope i don’t come across as patronizing or negative or anything. i don’t want to get into a whole lot of discourse about this, as stuff like that tends to give me a lot of anxiety. anyone is welcome to come into my inbox or pms to talk about this, but please try to avoid hostility with it. i’m upset and hurt and angry too, but i am also a fragile lil bean.