#for context: her husband has just died and she's saying (basically) how she's not a queen in this context but just a woman

[backjustforberena]

No more, but e'en a woman, and commanded By such poor passion as the maid that milks And does the meanest chares. Eve Best as CLEOPATRA in ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ (2014)

[confoundedluna]

thinking about TUA s4 again and the ending

and I know it's been long enough now that most people have said their piece and other people have probably said what i'm gonna say but it's just. argh

things worked about this season! remove them from the wider context and they make sense! Diego and Lila struggling in a regular world regular marriage because neither are used to that life? yes! the fuck ass way they went about that? no!

the ending in particular, people have pointed out how shitty the overall message ends up being of 'you are the fault/cause for your trauma and the pain you've inflicted on others across your lifetime and it's better you never even existed so at least they can be happy' but like. a bittersweet ending with the group sacrificing themselves Could have worked! it's just. the entire tone of the season needed to be different for it to work.

the group needed to have Got their happy ending and gotten to be happy for Once, so even if they were leaving it all behind, it happened! they got what they had all been looking for this whole time! and they got to leave the world a better place!

instead we get Luther reduced to a stripper joke, basically no mention of his wife (or most of the Sparrows at all), and his body mutated again even though that had No link to his marigold powers, living in a condemned building and trying pathetically hard to keep what he has left of his family together and cared for only to lose them all again in the end

Diego gets reduced to a fat joke when his actor is in Insanely good shape, he gets turned into a guy who would dump his problems on his family even after his own upbringing and how good a dad he was last season (at least from what i remember), and a guy who loses the family he finally got through his wife cheating on him with his brother and not being able to properly say goodbye to his children, dying not knowing whether she would choose him or them

Allison's husband walks out on her again, her kid that has been her main motivator seems to have a better connection with Klaus than her, her career has barely gone anywhere, and she dies having just sent her daughter alone to an unknown fate and not knowing if anyone would remember her

Klaus just Has to be reduced to a junkie that gets kidnapped and used and ignored by the rest of the group, except this time with no impact on the main plot, he doesn't have his connection with Ben anymore, and his fairly reasonable turn from immortal to paranoid germaphobe seems played as a joke, plus there's only just a Passing shot of the dog tags, no mention of Dave or his time at war

Five seems the happiest of the group at the CIA (LOW bar), but even then he's stuck back in another organisation like The Commission, and he gets absolutely character assassinated into some pathetic lovesick puppy who would enter an affair relationship with his brother's wife and hide a way home to the family he spent Decades in an apocalypse trying to get back to, and almost abandon them in the end because his BROTHER'S WIFE would dare to choose her family over him

Ben loses all sense of character and becomes only 'I love Jennifer', doesn't really have any real moments with the Umbrellas and barely mentions the Sparrows, eventually mutating beyond recognition and not even getting to die with his new makeshift family that he probably hasn't seen in the years he was locked up, beyond maybe Luther

Viktor distances himself from his family and can't hold down a relationship with anyone after Sissy, is forced to forgive Reginald for the abuse he went through because 'that wasn't me! it was the Other me!' and barely gets any moments with his family that has finally welcomed him before dying

Lila gets watered down and her character assassinated into some housewife that would cheat with her brother in law that she has seen looking like a child, no delving into the dynamic between her and her now-living family, and dies showing affection to her affair partner in front of her husband

making their lives miserable and then having the solution be that they all die and everyone else gets a happy ending is Not a good way to end a show like TUA - imo, it should have been either they're miserable throughout and finally get their happy ending, maybe getting to live just normal lives either separately with their 'birth' parents not knowing each other or what their lives used to be, or all together either with or without memories, OR they get to be happy, just for once, so that they can leave the world behind knowing that even if no one else remembers them, they got to experience happiness

Luther should be the definition of a perfect marriage with Sloane, living that stereotypical dreamlife

Diego should be doing Some kind of active work, maybe martial arts or self defense classes or Something, and getting to come home to his family happy and fulfilled with the life he has

Allison should have her husband and her child, and a career that, big star or not, she's happy in

Klaus should be in THERAPY, and he should be with Dave, finally independent from his family and not needing them to save him but sticking around anyway because he loves them and they love him

Five should be either alone romantically or with some Delores substitute, getting to live out his old man life in peace surrounded by the family he Platonically worked so desperately to keep together

Ben could be with Jennifer or not, but either way, he should have the Sparrows And the Umbrellas, with connections to all of them, even if he is still a bit of an ass - they love him anyway

Viktor should be with Sissy, finally fitting in to the family dynamic, finally in a relationship that's healthy, that he gets to keep, not sidelined or isolated but just another part of the gang

Lila should be a working mom in some way, either doing something like Diego or as part of an organisation, but still coming home Happy to her family at the end of the day, no cheating

whether that's their ending, or just what they get temporarily and have to choose to sacrifice for the greater good of the world, these characters that have spent So Long being traumatised and fighting for a sliver of happiness should get to experience it properly, not spend every minute tired and sad and even hating each other before they have to die no matter what

[precambrian-sea-pancake]

Giving context to things in Shadows of Rose that really needed context because I didn’t like them and they barely got context.

1) The Winter’s separating: it’s very much established they would not willingly separate. Mia loves Rose. There’s no way she’d willingly give up another family member after being widowed. Plus, Chris OF ALL PEOPLE should not want to separate the family. Literally the whole theme was about family. Hot take but there’s 3 of them.

2) Chris saying he would protect Rose and then asking her to join the squad: I refuse to believe Chris would go against his dying friend’s wishes. Putting someone in a fight isn’t protection

3) Rose barely knowing anything about Ethan: I mean…come on. That’s your dead husband and your dead friend who basically made you the godfather. There’s got to be a reason, right?

So…enjoy me fixing all of that by saying things Capcom loves to leave out

———

Mia raised Rose in the beginning when she was a kid, with the help of Chis. They were close. She was very paranoid about her safety and did everything she could to help Rose live a normal life considering they were under even stricter protection than before. Because of this and the fact that Rose would be too young to understand at the time, Mia and Chris were very selective about what was said. They told her things like “your father loved you” “he died protecting you” “he would’ve loved to be here”

The two of them wanted her so do to school because she needed socialization. Unfortunately she had a very hard time. Chris and Mia did their best to be supportive but it was a very tough situation for all of them.

Eventually when she got a little older the higher ups realized how much at risk the Winters were (and also for selfish reasons because Rose powerful. I mean…let us not forget Sherry ;-;), decided it would be best to separate the two to “protect” them. Be it by boarding school, training, etc. It’s kinda unclear but it happened.

Mia hated this. She couldn’t lose Rose but ultimately didn’t have any power over the situation. Chris hated it just as much also tried to prevent this but he too couldn’t change it.

Chis contact with Rose given his job and was the bridge between the two but as time went on things got more complicated and messy.

Eventually Chris got to a point where he wanted Rose by his side more often and to be the one in control instead of the higher ups. So he wanted Rose to join his squad so she could defend herself and not belong to some shitty government thing. At least this way it was easier…at least in Chris’s mind. To him it was protection. Was it the best idea? No, but to him it was.

After the DLC, they learn Ethan is still present in some sort of way. It motivates Chris to try fighting once more for the family to be together again.

Rose remembers everything she saw in the Megamycete’s recreation of her old house and how both of her parents loved her…and sees the mother on the bus reading a book to her kid.

Now both motivated to try again they’re successfully able to get visitation between Rose and Mia.

It starts off slow but eventually it happens more and more. It’s hard because it’s been so long, but they work to reconnect. Since Rose is older and has context, Mia (although very hesitant and needing some encouragement. Plus taking a few meetings for it to even happen) explains their family history to Rose piece by piece until the story is complete.

As for Rose joining the squad?

She joined because she knew her dad fought to help her family. She, like her father, is a kind person. She wants to help protect people and make sure they don’t suffer the same fate as her family. One more good soul to combat a corrupt world. She’s at an awkward age at a very emotional time. Her decisions might not be final but it’s giving it a try. She might stay or she might not. She might like it or she might hate it. Only time and experiences will decide that.

While things aren’t perfect, the Winters are at least together. Just like what Chris tried to do, and just like what Ethan wanted.

———

It’s not perfect, but I tried my best with what was available and worked within the confines of the story. I loved the DLC, but it does have flaws that annoy me. So I fixed it UwU.

[starry-blue-echoes]

What if in Beastars, after Emporio beats Pucci, Pucci only manages to scratch him before he dies, thus Emporio gets turned into a Werebeast himself, makes angst potential, i imagine a lion eagle hybrid, more lion like but with wings but also some ram horns as a reminder of Weather, he’s basically a bird kitten. Maybe he becomes protective of Irene and the others.

Made better if Irene and Jotaro are still Werebeasts in the new world, maybe some werebeast cuddles.

OOOOOOOOOOO YESYESYESYESYESYES

(also as like..... a way to explain this occuring without having to explain why no other enemies of the Joestars have been turned, maybe there are a couple requirments that have to be met, such as it being during a full moon among other things, and maybe even then the chances are relatively slim)

Now, I will say I do want to change some aspects of the animals you've assigned Emporio, if only to stop too much over lap. The ram works fine because of the implications of it, but I believe Jonathan is already part lion and Josuke is already a griffin of sorts

maybe we could try tying Emporio to the three werebeasts he interacts with? So a ram for Weather and Pucci, either a wolf or gator from Jotaro (I'm not sure which since one would give him SUPER fluffs but the other would let him swim better), and butterfly wings from Jolyne

and just. Imagine the day they find Emporio at the bus stop eith a somewhat brutal looking and very fresh slash on his arm. It's only natural that they'd all be concerned, especially when Emporio only explains it as far as "I was attacked by an animal" without any more context

and just. Who knows how it goes for him. Maybe it starts as little things while still a human that he always writes off as because of his newfound freedom. He enjoys meat more than he did before? Well, of course he does, meat had been a luxury he rarely got and now he gets to pick what to eat. He likes climbing trees and being in the open air? It's a good vantage point and he's never been able to climb trees before. He feels more comfortable with his blankets and pillows piled up in a nest? Probably for safety and as a trauma response, he remembered reading some books about it

but of course, everything comes to head that first full moon he spends with the Joestars

The plan had been for Jotaro and Jolyne to leave the house while Marina stayed with Emporio. They wanted to slowly ease him into it, and full moon nights would be akin to throwing him straight into the deep end. Of course, Emporio already knows what they are, but he doesn't say anything and plays dumb for their benefit

and Marina was ready for a calm, quiet night. It had been some time since her husband and daughter had spent the entire night away, but she understood why and was happy to help

what she was not ready for was for Emporio to start screaming the second the sun set

can you imagine how terrifying this would be for both parties? Emporio because what's happening what's going on why does everything hurt why is his body change like this it hurts it hurts it hurts- and Marina is freaking out because Yeah An Eleven Year Old Screaming In Your Living Room Is Going To Make You Panic

what's even more....... Marina's never seen this kind of reaction before. Jotaro and Jolyne always shifted with confidence, with certainty, with control. They always knew exactly what they were doing and what was going to happen

but this? This could not be further from that

it also doesn't help that Emporio's panic doesn't really leave even after the shift is done. Now it's just less coherent and more erratic which is fun for Marina to deal with

her one saving grace is that Emporio is still relatively small and thus doesn't actually try to hurt her. He more or less runs around for about an hour before hiding himself under a piece of furniture, at which Marina starts slowly making it clear she isn't a threat. Near the end of the night he actually falls asleep in his hiding spot and Marina has to fish him out so he won't hurt himself when he changes back

but yeah, Jotaro and Jolyne are in for the realization of a lifetime by the time they get back

[nonuggetshere]

I keep seeing u post about ur kingsoul au, would u be willing to write a basic rundown of the plot!! BC I LOVE everything that I've seen but ik none of the context :///

ALRIGHT, joke about never revealing the lore over, time to release the brainrot

The basic premise is that PK and WL gave the Pure Vessel kingsoul charm to keep their soul levels stable, in case Radiance tried to physically damage them to get out.

Fastforward many years later, and the infection resurfaces. Pale King and White Lady are hit with the possibility that the vessel was alive all this time and they...do not take it well. Pale King immediately dives back into work to cope, just to keep his mind off this. Meanwhile White Lady completely bottles up her feelings and tries to pretend everything's okay, and instead distracts herself by trying to make sure her husband is alright.

Things keep getting worse and worse, and finally when he's completely out of ideas, Pale King decides to trap himself and his palace in the dream realm in hopes that Radiance will go for him instead. He discusses it at length with his queen, says his goodbyes in case he dies and leaves. The moment he's in the dream realm she can no longer feel him, so she has no idea if he's dead or not.

His plan does not work. He's alive but trapped in the dream realm, presumed dead by most people.

White Lady is now alone, watching her beloved's hard work crumble to dust, feeling powerless to stop it. Finally, she gets an idea, and in her desperation she tries to reach to the Hollow Knight through the kingsoul charm, much the same way she would with her Wyrm.

It works.

They're momentarily pulled from the Radiance's grasp, confused and disoriented. Then they see their mother and their confusion grows. For a moment they think it's another one of that damned moth's tricks, but they can't feel her presence at all. Realising that it's their actual mother, they just break down, relieved to be free of the torment at least for a little while.

This cements her suspicions that they were alive, when before they thought Pale King might have been just wrong about how the infection works, now she's sure they're alive.

She hugs them tightly and tells them it's going to be okay, but their kingdom is dying, their people are suffering, their father might be gone forever, and she just needs them to hold on a little longer. Can they please do that for her?

They nod.

She smiles. They're strong, she says, they've got this.

And it works.

With her help, getting frequent visits and breaks, her reassurance; they manage to fight off the infection once again. Hallownest can begin to heal and rebuild once again, under her rule. She will continue what her beloved started. For his sake.

She sees them again, tells them as much. The kingdom's doing better, the infection is disappearing, all thanks to them. Their father would be proud, she tells them. They smile so brightly at that.

She reassures them, tells them to keep fighting, and one day another vessel will show up and they can be relieved of their duty. They will be named a prince, they could be a family. She promises.

They trust her. Trust her that she's sure of it.

Years pass, Hallownest is thriving again, the Hollow Knight has new strength to keep fighting. They've got their mother's help. They look forward to her warm embrace and soft words everytime.

But the time keep stretching on and on, and no other vessel shows. They're getting impatient, nervous, they can't keep going on like this. She knows it, doesn't she?

She reassures them. She's sure another, truly pure vessel will show to replace them, and then they can reunite once more in the waking world. She's sure. She promises.

Ages pass. They're getting tired. They can't keep going, even with her help.

They're impatient, nervous- no, terrified. She promised.

The infection starts showing up again. She's angry. Don't they know what they're fighting for?

They can't keep going. So try harder, she tells them. Do not disappoint her. Do not disappoint their father.

They're at their breaking point, they can't keep going. She promised them. Did she lie? Was all of this just empty stories all along?

But how dare they accuse her of that. They're a warrior. They were trained for this. They should be stronger. They let their father's legacy crumble once more.

They're a failure. She tells them. The king would be disappointed.

They snap.

The kingsoul lays broken between the two of them. The vessel pants heavily, still reeling after their argument.

She looks at them in shock then shakes her head. She turns away.

She overestimated them. She shouldn't have expected any better of them. After all...

They're only human.

They've failed them.

...No. No.

They'll show her. They'll show her. She's wrong about them.

For the first time in ages, they raise their blade towards the sun shining in the distance.

So that entire thing came to me after listening to My Goodbye from EPIC: the musical on repeat for two days straight. A lot of plotpoints in this AU come from me rotating these characters in my head while listening to these songs.

Pure ascends as the Lord of Shades and brings The Radiance down. But they don't kill her.

She'll get to live out the rest of her life as a mortal. In the ancient fallen kingdom that she brought to ruin.

They break from their chains, take one last look at her from the entrance of the black egg, and leave. They rise to the surface, don't look back as they pass the howling cliffs. It's not their home anymore.

White Lady feels a shift in her kingdom. Dryya runs to her, the infection is dying.

Shocked, she uproots herself and goes to the temple. There, she finds the Radiance, and no sign of her child.

So after being informed of what went down by a very pissed off Radiance, her reaction pretty much boils down to "THEY DID WHAT?"

Along their travels, Pure finds their other siblings. Mainly, Ghost, Mellow (BV) and Greenie (GV). They find their way, after many years, into the ruins of yet another fallen kingdom.

This time though, they find their new home here. They help build a new kingdom and are crowned as its monarch. Life's good.

Except for the fact other Hugher Beings get the wind of a void being doing that to The Radiance and want to kill them out of paranoia but that's a story for another time.

Oh, and PK finds his way out of the dream realm. Somehow.

Also WL and PK can still talk to Pure through now voidheart, but they immediately cut contact and most of the time don't even let them sense them.

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP5. Replay Part 5

Dlanor is REALLY disappointed in Battler, damn, she has mentioned it like 5 times now. Admittedly he has been just kind of throwing shit at the wall half the time she has been on screen... The sentence "I am a hostage being imprisoned being imprisoned by the Ushiromiya family under the guise of marriage." made me start crying again. The fact Natsuhi is entirely conscious of her fucked up situation but lying to herself about it all the time makes it so much more painful to me than if she was just 100% in denial.

Kinzo had a complex about being new rich so he kidnapped a woman to fix his complex.

"my husband.... was the only person who could understand me....!" She knows this is not true. She knows she was constantly used by Krauss. She has been forced to acknowledge Krauss does not trust her over and over.... yet she must tell herself that or else she is fully alone in this world.

Natsuhi does, in fact, obviously love her husband though. As much as I kind of wish that wasn't the case Erika is sadly very wrong here.

Erika's face contorts as she says this. She obviously doesn't want to live like this either, but that is the only role allowed to her by her master....

"Natsuhi hadn't written them down to record them for posterity. She had written to forget those memories and seal them away" I wouldn't be surprised if Sayo's mysteries started as that too.... Everyone gives their opinions on Natsuhi's backstory.... Rudolf is surprisingly sympathetic for someone who doesn't treat women very well either. Kyrie reveals yet again she's very ok with violence. Kanon plays the I don't understand act which is very funny in context.

Natsuhi choosing not to blame Kinzo's ghost is sad.... sure, I am sure she is also suspicious of it being a trap but I don't think it's past her in general. She talks about how he entrusted her, etc.... it's so sad to me how everyone can admit that she's a victim but herself. Erika and Bern restart the game in order to fuck with Natsuhi and force her to admit that Kinzo is dead. Natuhi is stubborn enough to completely refuse. The Natsuhi Kinzo relationship theory is so fucking disgusting... damages both Natsuhi in the way such a thing is disgusting to her and in the sense that she's forced to imagine herself having sex with the man who literally kidnapped and sold her.... Erika then frames Kinzo as the victim in this exchange because "Natsuhi used her body".... It is kind of hard to read this part for me.

Haha.... the faker the claims the more citations they have. That's really fucked up in its own way.

Natsuhi then starts to reveal her crime for 19 years ago... she is basically completely aware of the motive, huh, hahahah. I think realizing her sin and bringing it up is good, even if it obviously can't make up for it. "Then, just a few years ago, he died of old age,.... and I confessed the truth over his grave, apologizing" Man Natsuhi is so good at burying the truth deep into herself that I forgot she was acutely aware it wasn't an accident throughout those years.... I thought that was what she believed but knew deep down wasn't true. But she was completely aware of it as she was constantly telling herself another story. Battler can't take the ruse anymore and say it's no good and ends the episode.

[dulcewrites]

What is your opinion on show Aemond? In books he was basically psychopath, in show not yet, but I wonder what do you think of him besides the things you said before like he is arrogant. Btw, you are probably the only person who sees his arrogance and inability to rule (despite having Vhagar, being great swordsman and studying history and philosophy) because I swear to God, every Aemond stan views him as perfect and not arrogant at all and perfect material for a king. And you know what is the funniest thing? That they only acknowledge his traumas when they are comparing him to Daemon, you know, Daemon is the bad guy from episode 1, groomer and many other things but Aemond is hurt and insecure and disabled, but when confronted, they all view him as perfect. You know, just because he has traumas means he is perfect. But it never crossed their minds that any sort of trauma affects the process of thinking, self confidence, perception of people around us and does it in not positive way. And no, just because Aemond is traumatized doesn't mean he will be good father and husband because how in madieval world would he have any opportunity to even acknowledge that he has something called trauma and then starting to work on it, slowly realising how this worked and made him the person he is now?

It's 2022 and people are talking a lot about mental health which is great, but seeing how many people not even understand how Aemond's traumatic past shaped him and thinking it won't have negative effect is really sad.

And maybe the reason you got this terrible anon message because his stans really have no clue how his past will affect him and people close to him. They focus on how a good and dutiful son he is, but in fact he is parentified child. I also am one and believe me it could be great for strangers, me caring about my mother, but they don't know how hard it was in childhood when I was the one to take care of her where it should have been other way around. And my relationship with her is not a testimony of any kind of strong bond, but the fact I was burdened by her problems and needed to find solutions to them, because she couldn't. And in episode 9 when Alicent says If anything has happened and her panicked expression, it reminded me of my mother and everytime she relied on me.

You are basically the only person I saw admitting that he is a piece of work. Others believe that after all he has been through he would be perfect father, husband and king. No one sees how his past shaped him in bad way. Because it's like knife that cuts on both sides, sure, after losing an eye he became full of determination, dutiful, but also full of anger and having many repressed feelings. And this will affect all his relationships, but his stans doesn't see him as flawed character, they point out Daemon wrongdoings and use it to put Aemond on pedestal. And once saw one of them saying Aemond will get rid of his traumas once Viserys and Luke died. So thank you for portraying him in realistic way, I know it was request to write his wife being killed over a lie, but you captured his essence in such amazing way.

Well I appreciate that you like my different interpretations of Aemond. To be fair/honest, the way I write him in fmo or even in that request is not how I personally would want him written in the show. I don’t enjoy seeing women, regardless of the context or nature, being treated so poorly. There are times where it makes me sad when writing. But I’m also an admittedly sensitive person lol. Those anons I got, while complete weirdos who need help, I see as outliers compared to a lot of people who enjoy hotd. It’s just when you are in a large fandom, the wronged opinions tend to be the loudest. I do a lot of people misinterpret characters but they also have the good sense to not harass people.

I think that all the layers that make up show Aemond is why he is extremely compelling. He can be messy or arrogant, and probably a bad king/Prince regent. But he can also be a young man who had to deal with a losing his eye, a neglectful father, a mother who takes on a lot and probably projects a lot onto him bc he is so dutiful and kind to her, and having unique sibling relationships. And that does not even mention the possible piety or the strained relationship with intimacy he may have. I do think a lot of writers on here know and understand show Aemond but maybe choose to paint a prettier picture bc why not. Like I don’t plan on writing Aemond as a terrible father or husband in everything I do. I have some stuff in the works that is the opposite actually. He can be a lot thinks at once bc most people are. You just have to pick your threshold of what you can tolerate, irl and when you engage with media.

As for how I feel about show Aemond. I like him. I wouldn’t take the time to write about him if I didn’t. There are certain changes that I think the show did well, and I would argue and say his characterization is one of them. It also doesn’t hurt that ewan plays him extremely well. Older aemond could have fell flat if they did not have someone as talented playing him. So much of that charisma is not the text, it’s ewan acting his ass off. I’d say that’s the case for all the Hightower/targ kids. Phia, Tom, and ewan did the best with what they got, especially Tom and phia

[themollyzone]

the angle

Ooh the internet is getting REAL WEIRD for me these days. It wasn't until after he died that I learned the reason my paternal grandfather was so into college sports (especially basketball) was because he thought professional sports were rigged, so college ball fandom was the only pure and honorable option. It's taken me a while to get into Conspiracy Grandpa status but it's starting to happen in a very particular way.

Specifically, I find myself seeing the way people craft their internet identities and output and saying: I don't believe it. Recently a young woman's thrift haul went viral on TikTok for being impressive and jealousy-inducing, then broke containment and went viral on Twitter where a lot of people were mad at her for scooping up cheap duds and reselling at a premium.

The original impressiveness of the video was supposed to be about buying a lot of desirable clothing all on the same day from the same store — I watched the video and was like, how are we supposed to believe that unless we watched her shop live? Twitch-streaming a purposeful skulk down the aisles of her local Goodwill?

Maybe she was collecting the best bits from a few different trips and combining them. After all, you don't go viral for buying just a couple cute things. You go viral for extremes: the most, the least, the cutest, the cheapest, the "most insane". I edit videos for a living and you have basically 2ish seconds at the beginning of a video to get peoples' attention so you can promote whatever it is you need to promote (in that thrifter's case, her cornucopian Depop shop). Your chosen thesis statement better be Entertaining.

Now there's a woman who has gone viral for being a tradwife, breasting boobily around her house and making terrible-looking home-baked bread for her alleged husband. The whole thing is sooo cosplay, and everyone's getting so upset about her content that they are forgetting she is not a housewife at all — she is a content creator. If you look at her Instagram from before she picked this particular Shein Marilyn Monroe Don't Worry Darling-style personal brand, she was trying to be a fitness influencer, posting about gains and doing that thing where you place a barbell over your hips and thrust vigorously.

The current internet is built for being reactive to the smallest and most impactful bit of information available. It is why people freak out about tweeted headlines without reading the full article, and why that account Pop Crave loves taking celebrity quotes out of context and riling up bloodthirsty fanbases for engagement, and why you can see one video of a "tradwife" looking like a Mad Men extras casting reject and don't bother looking back in her post history to see her recent-past self, striving in contemporary spandex and using hashtags like #fitfam.

That Natalie Portman movie Vox Lux was terrible but it had a silly line in it that I loved, where Nat's deranged Staten Island pop star character talks about personal branding for artists: "“It doesn’t matter anymore if you’re Michelangelo, or if you’re Mikey and Angelo from New Brighton. All that matters is that you have an angle." Internet fame is the carrot dangling on the stick, and to catch the fame, you need the angle, and you edit what you need to edit in order to hone your particular angle. In a sea of thrifters, you must get the most "insane" haul. In a sea of identical blonde fitness influencers, you must find a path of lesser resistance. Sweating to the oldies, indeed!!

Can you be mad at these people? I would say mostly I am impressed. I am excited to see in particular which sponsors the tradwife will secure in order to fund her future endeavors, because I do not believe her supposed single-income household will provide the financial backing she will need once she reaches higher levels of internet fame/infamy and wants a lifestyle to match. After all, the main brands who do influencer marketing are generally those who cater to girlbosses, not tradwives — subscription meal kits for homemade flavors on a time budget, blue light-blocking glasses for long days spent content creating on the computer, online therapy for the anxiety caused by capitalism.

That's the last question you need to answer when you are making content for free on the internet - where will the money eventually come from?

I just texted my dad to confirm my grandpa's rigged pro sports beliefs and he said yes, that was his theory — "Believe he used the term 'scripted.'" Keep your third eye open people!!! But wear third eye sunglasses to minimize UV exposure.

[isaacathom]

actually uyeah im bored im gonna run it down. what specific Thing does naielle have with (pretty much) every member of her family that has her fucking wracke with guilt or smth

At a very basic level, a context - naielle comes from an elf napoleonic france, with some specific details that the usual max lifespan is closer to 500, and that the emperor has no heir and is like. 450. i wrote it down somewhere. doesn't matter. So naielle, being exiled from elf france, very early on made the assumption that she could Wait Out the collapse of it. That the emperor would die in, yknow, 50 years, the power vacuum would be contested by every general and cousin and random former nobleman, and the country would be ripped apart, nullifying her exile by technicality. this established,

Saroel - Naielle's grandmother, 495.

Naielle loves her grandmother. She's this wise and cunning lady, who survived the turmoil of Bonaparte's rise to power by making deals and using the family's noble fortune to buy favour. Her husband died in the post-rise period, and Saroel didn't. She bought the life of her and her children when her husband was accused of treason. She's clever.

Naielle has her engagement ring, a gold band designed to snugly fit under a wedding ring, a piece of jewellery older than the empire itself. Naielle used it as a blueprint to craft a pair to it, and matching wedding rings, with which to propose to her girlfriend Xistina.

If Naielle waits out the empire's demise, she'll never see her grandmother again. Never be able to tell her she was right when she told Naielle to be careful about her historical research, or show her the now complete wedding ring. She'll never get to hug her one last time and be enveloped in a stiff embrace that smells of old pines and old times, like the oils of the paintings and brass of the sculptures that make up the universities museums, of the motar that keeps its bricks together.

Laucian - Naielle's father, 333

Naielle is a daddy's girl. She's her father's son, without question or ambiguity. She's got his square chin, his broad nose, his golden eyes, his curly hair (albeit lighter than his - her mother got lucky with that). She's got his passion for history and all that came before, for the nebulous space of was and may have been.

For Naielle's 100th birthday, Laucian gave her a red ribbon. He's not from a noble background, rising from the peasantry with a father in the military and a mother a nursemaid. He has no heirlooms to grant. But the red ribbon, Naielle thinks, is just as meaningful as the engagement ring, because it's a connection to that paternal grandmother, Shana. She was a hard worker, stern with her charges and utterly doting on her own children, sneaking small things from the noble houses she served to give them. She wore her hair in intricate braids, which she taught Laucian and his brother how to do, and she tied them, always, with red ribbon. It was her favourite colour, she'd say.

Shana died when Laucian was only 24. A child, in elf terms. He's worn a red ribbon ever since, 300 years, for longer than Shana was even alive, in her memory. And he hands this down to his daughter, who takes after him so strongly, and in whose smile he can undoubtedly see his mother's.

Naielle adores her father. She fears, down to the bone, that she has disappointed him. That in her exile she has perverted the passion they share for history, turned it into a reminder of the crushing weight of the empire. That she's ruined something.

She still wears the ribbon in honour of a woman she never met. She never learnt her braids.

Oriphira - Naielle's mother, 321

She didn't inherit any particular gift from her mother - Saroel's engagement ring was a joint gift, a blessing for such an item to skip a generation to find itself on Naielle's finger.

They haven't always been close. Oriphira inherited her own mother's preservative streak, an understanding that the family exists at a knife edge between imperial eradication and flourishing, and a single wrong move could damn them. She grew up in that tumultuous era. She would have watched her father die, or march to die, dragged from their home by imperial troops. She would have seen the pathetic graves for him and his brother, her beloved uncle, and known they should not lie there. That a family mauseleum lay open and expecting, and would recieve naught. That they were disgraced. That it was only Saroel's cunning which saved the life of her and her younger sibling.

Oriphira has seen her family's birthright, such that nobility can claim it, ripped from their grasping hands. She's clawed for every inch back. She's fought for the university Saroel used to buy their freedom. She's fought for the healers and medical practicioners to return to her town in the post-revolutionary period, as she watched her own child die of a preventable childhood infection, watched her sibling die of a stomach left to fester and rot without aid. She's seen the gods abandon that town, and she's filled that void.

She's a tough woman, and she is tough to love. Naielle does all the same. She may not have understood it then, the depths of the sacrifices her mother had made for them all, the agony she must have gone through with every child thereafter. The ingrained fear of heights, inherited in most of her children, after another fell from the roof.

But Naielle gets it now. Now that she fights in a war in a different land for its very existence, she finds that common ground. The two fight a war for their continued existence.

And Naielle imperilled it, didn't she? By raising imperial ire, a century after they last turned their baleful gaze Odelia-ward. By reminding that families like theirs, descendant from noble excess, can still be a threat.

She doesn't know what lengths her mother went to in order to keep them all safe after she left. She supposes the military service of her siblings may have shielded the family. But she knows her mother calculated the loss, and weighs that debt on Naielle's soul.

She wishes she could tell her she gets it, or thinks she does. That she understands the responsibility her mother is unjustly laden with. The blood on both their hands.

Aedelie - Naielle's older sister, 201

Naielle and Aedelie have almost a century in age between them, and its a very different dynamic than to any of their other siblings. Aedelie has to carry that torch, borne by Saroel and Oriphira, of being the responsible one. Being measured, and careful, and keeping everyone safe.

And Naielle always felt very safe. Her older sister was gentle and kind, a bulwark against anything that might hurt her. No monster under the bed would dare lay a finger on her when they knew Aedelie was never far, and even when Aedelie enlisted in the army she left her strength with them.

Aedelie's married, you know. She married a human man around 5 years ago, a fellow soldier in her cavalry unit. They have a little elf daughter, cherubic and giggly, just 2 years old with a wide toothy grin. Or so Naielle's been told.

If she waits out the collapse, she might never even meet her brother-in-law, a kind and soft-spoken man with a reflexes of an acrobat and hair like beach sand. She might never meet the man who makes her stern sister smile softly, with eyes that sparkle. A man whose duty, such that it is, is to protect Aedelie's life with his own.

Naielle is terrified for them both. War wages, and the Empire swings the proverbial club high overhead and demands blood, and her sister and brother-in-law must provide. None of them might see the two of them again. Forget the mortality of a human, anyone is mortal in the line of fire. And Naielle happens to know of a weapon, currently travelling by sea towards that firing line, and she fears what will happen when it goes off.

Quenaris - Naielle's older twin brother, 122

What can you say about a twin that isn't obvious? Peas in a pod, identical up until their mid 30s when he shot up like a stalk and left her a few inches shorter. The two know each other better than anyone else, Naielle is certain. She knew his adult name long before he told anyone, and he hers. She is him, and he is her, and they're two halves of a great whole.

Quenaris knew something was wrong, didn't he? That Naielle was lying when she said she had everything under control. That Naielle was hiding something, sparking like a fire in a cave, desperately being smothered. He saw the glitter in her eyes and knew it wasn't emotion that shone through, even if he couldn't identify the source.

She told him everything was fine. She didn't apologise for lying when it became clear it wasn't. That the situation had spiralled out of her control, that her warlock pact - a grave illegality as it stood - had shown her things she shouldn't see, and sent a beacon to the empire to observe.

He knew she lied. And she couldn't apologise, because to stay and do so would have seen her treason identified and laid bare before the Empire's vast apparatus. It would see her killed. She had to flee.

It ate her alive, it truly did. She didn't know how much he knew, how much he held against her.

She was lucky enough to see him, for only a few minutes. To hold him tight, as though by a hug they might be one and whole, and to cry, and tell him she was sorry. That he accepted her hug, and shed tears of his own, is enough for her.

It would still hurt if she never saw him again. Less, maybe, now that she knows he misses her too. Or more, to have given him a glimmer of hope that things might be normal in the future. She's scared of facing his ghost centuries from now.

Mariela - Naielle's younger sister, 110

Where do you even start?

These sisters have never been close. Each claims the other is irresponsible, too easily distracted, too something. There's always something wrong. Naielle isn't patriotic enough, Mariela is too patriotic. Naielle is too wrapped up in her books and shit that happened centuries ago, and Mariela is too concerned with her magic and the things that will happened soon, months and years in the future.

They're similar, and very different.

Naielle had no particular feeling towards her sister when she was forced to flee. To never see her again would hurt, but not as much as with others, a feeling tempered by the knowledge that Mariela would have some snide remark or another on her return. She lied to Mariela, but Mariela wouldn't care, would she? Naielle can't fathom the idea that Mariela cared either way, beyond that Naielle had embarrassed them.

Then Naielle came back, briefly, briefly, just to marry her fiance, and got roped into capturing Mariela.

What's Mariela been doing? Well, she'd taken what remained of Naielle's notes, on old histories and the magic so thusly entwined, and turned it into a weapon. A different weapon entirely, one worse than most others, and which Mariela saw simply as a tool. Naielle was a fool, she said, to focus on the historical implications of her research, and not to use its practical benefits. Look what lies in our grasp - the power to unravel reality!

Naielle was furious. She took Mariela as a prisoner of war.

And then her patron took her as a warlock.

It was not willing - Mariela made no deal, was offered no bargain she could stomach. Her will was superseded, Naielle's consent to the idea assumed, and her body made to channel magic it rejected.

Naielle did this. She did not know it would happen, had not even considered the possibility, wanted none of it. Mariela will probably never believe her.

It doesn't matter what Naielle thinks of Mariela's original ideas, her plans to turn utter destruction into a military tactic. It doesn't matter the differences of their personalities, that the two don't get along. Naielle did this. She forced this on her sister, intentionally or not, and she intends to make it right.

She expects she'll never right her initial mistake, the pact that brought her into exile in the first place. She fears she'll not right this. But it's in her power to do so, and whether Mariela wants her there or not, Naielle will fix it. Naielle would betray almost anyone to fix what she's done, burn most any bridge, because it almost isn't about Mariela anymore. It's a proxy for every mistake she's ever made, every harm she's brought, a way to try and make up for the life she ruined for herself by ever doing this.

If all goes well, Mariela will go home. Naielle can only hope she understands how much that means.

Yivien - Naielle's younger brother, 104

Probably the person for whom Naielle has the least consideration, a fact that would invariably infuriate the poor boy. The two have somewhat less in common than Naielle to Mariela, but do have one key thing - their academic focus. While Naielle is a historian, Yivien is an architect, and spent much of his youth fighting for their father's attention, to little success. Naielle was his daughter, following in his footsteps - Yivien's achievements weren't as important.

If Naielle was honest, and looked critically at herself, she would concede that Yivien is the smarter sibling. His grades are better, his grasp of abstract fundamentals stronger, he's quicker on the draw. It isn't fair, she reckons, that she was given that attention. The boy earned it, or ought have done.

She would struggle to tell him that. She doesn't think its pride - she never said she was the smartest sibling. What she struggles with is the idea that she needs to correct it, when surely, that burden lies with her parents for not acknowledging him better when she was around. Did she hog their attention? She isn't sure.

But as days grow darker, and doom grows nearer, she wonders if she should have said it anyway. Care or not, guilty or otherwise, he deserved their attention, and it was denied him. And she's responsible, in some capacity. Shouldn't she have tried to fix it? To say she was sorry?

The longer it goes, the more she thinks maybe she means it sincerely this time.

Xistina - Naielle's wife, 135

God, what could she say to her that she hasn't said already? Her most dearly beloved, a part of her soul, the keeper of her heart in turmoil. They've known each other nearly a century, and Naielle can only hope for centuries more.

Xistina wasn't in the country when Naielle went into exile. She was on business, sailing the sea, plying wares and doing trade under the gleaming sun. She would not hear news for months, till she landed in a bustling port and spotted no beaming face amidst the crowd, no-one all but ready to leap aboard before a gangplank was ever lowered. Naielle didn't know what she'd heard. She wished, dearly, that Xistina could have heard it from her.

She doesn't know what Xistina knew. She doesn't know if her fiancee saw the stars in her eyes and saw the meaning behind them. She spent years in dread. At least her siblings, her family, heard of the matter directly, that she'd had a feeble chance to defend herself in the hours before she fled. Xistina knew naught, and could learn less, and Naielle could not reach out for fear of potential consequence. Her fiance could not be party to treason. Her distance would keep her safe.

Her fiancee knew more than she thought, had an ear to the ground and the sea, and loved her still. She wore Saroel's ring proudly as a token of their love, and kept it in care over the decades.

Xistina knows it all, now. Naielle travelled across the planes to see her, to know her truly, all secrets bared on both sides. Pirate and Warlock, Traitor and Traitor. Let the empire declare their treason in love if they wish, for she has it.

And it scares her to think she might let it go. That, having come so close, having even successfully married her after decades apart, that they might lose it all. And that it will be Naielle's fault in totality. Her fault for her treason, her fault for leaving for the distant lands, and her fault for not staying when she had the chance. Who better could have ferried a wanter criminal than a rebel corsair? Where else could Naielle find that kind of safety? And yet she left, for she felt a duty to a war that still wages, and she knows there's a chance she will never return. That she will have given her wife - her wife! - false hope of a future together, of merry centuries in a free Sylvian land, or aboard a ship in the glittering sky, where no mortal government dared tread.

She fears she's given her wife a lie, and did not know it when she spoke.

[papirouge]

👀 sorry to that anon before but isn’t that Claire story just an old copypasta text? I remember reading that years ago. I do think it’s a good lesson to not commit adultery (duh lol) by encouraging cheating (I think her husband in the story was dating someone else and the girl who died wanted him. But also that’s on him too?? Lol), idolatry with how the dead girl worshiped only him (don’t put people on pedestals like she did with her husband) and don’t ever blaspheme God. But there were weird vibes I got from reading that like how from what I remember the dead girl loved taking drives and enjoy life but that was seen as bad because it’s pleasure? I wasn’t really sure how to take that. Also the weirdest thing I remember from that story was the part where she told her friend how she is there to send a message from the power that wills evil but does good. Implying that God wills evil??? Has to be a translation error because to me, that made no sense and stuck with me as something wrong. Unless that’s part of her blasphemy. I know I’m missing other things from that that made me go “?”

For context here's the text in English. It seemingly translated from french so I read the french version which provides more context. So apparently the text got found in the belongings of a dead nun (sounds very copy pasta-y to me yea and still no proper date or name info...very suspicious) and for the "the power that wills evil but does good" (which rubbed me the wrong way too) is apparently a quote from Faust, a novel written by Goethe. I investigated into this and its highly occultic. It's basically the tale of a scrote who made a pact with the devil -named Mephistopheles in the story-, corrupts a young innocent Christian girl called Marguerite into having sex with him and who eventually gets rejected by her own family (Faust killing her brother who provoked him into a duel didn't help), left her after she got pregnant to attend an orgy with witches and demon, traveled down to Asia minora where he became some sort of courtsman and summoned fallen angels called 'Mother', fell in love with one of them, has a kid with her, that kids dies, demon wife leaves him, Mephistopheles wants to get his soul, and Marguerite eventually saves him from eternal damnation bc of her prayers. FIN. How any more scrotic this story could be? Goethe was a scrote and an occultist, how would God pull out such demonic reference through the intermediary of that Annette girl?

And no, she couldn't blaspheme whatsoever bc she says several time she is forced to remain civil, and that if given the possibility, she would lie or deceived Claire. Sorry but if the power compelling her to speak is Holy to the point it nulls any possibility for her to sin, than why would she quote an outspokenly occultic work such as Faust stating God does evil OR that evil does good ? By saying "I am doing what I am because I am forced to. I am acting now as 'a part of that power which always wills evil, yet does good.'" there are only 2 options possible:

- she admits she's not coming under God command but under a satan's (=a demon in disguise) which would explain she describing satan's work as "good", bc demons are liars and deceivers.

- she argues that God "wills evil" to do good which absolutely doesn't make any sense which makes me believe only the former possibility is real

Beside all of that, this whole read is so bizarre bc this girl from the dead is just venting about how she sinned by not attending the mass when she was alive, when the message of Christ......is absolutely not about that 🥴 Christ gave his life to us to 1)repent 2)obey his commandments, PERIOD. The mass is absolutely irrelevant to living the life God intends us to. One person could attend every mass without fail all their life and still end up in hell. Because we are saved through faith, not works. If their heart isn't right with God, then attenting mass is pointless. And authentic Christianity predates this brand of Catholic tradition called 'Mass'. Tbh this whole text reads like Catholic apologetics shoehorning their traditions to warn off against the horror of hell, but biblically speaking it doesn't make that much sense.

[thequeenofsastiel]

Pete's Tattoo

I’ve been meaning to do some meta about Pete’s tattoo since the moment I saw it and just haven’t gotten around to it until now. Forgive me if someone else has already said what I’m about to.

I recognized Pete’s tattoo as a Shakespeare quote initially, though I didn’t have any context because all I knew was that it was a Shakespeare quote. I didn’t know from what. But the fact that it was intrigued me greatly. Why would Pete have that?

So I did some research. Again, apologies if this is well documented.

The quote is from a play called “All’s Well That Ends Well”. I did some research on interpretations of that quote and ended up reading the whole play, because I felt like many of the interpretations were somewhat lacking. And I’m glad I did read it, because honesty is a theme throughout the play, but in a subversive way.

The play is about a woman, Helena, who’s in love with a count, Bertram, who wants nothing to do with her, since she’s a commoner. However, the king is sick, and none of his physicians have been able to cure him. Helena is the daughter of a very talented deceased physician, and, with the help of Bertram’s mother(who essentially adopted her when she was younger, and is known only as the Countess), manages to obtain an audience with a king. He’s resistant to Helena's help, because he’s a classist, sexist shit, but she promises that should she fail to cure him, she’ll consent to the most excruciating death imaginable. But, should she succeed, he’ll grant her the hand of any man of her choosing. She succeeds, and picks Bertram, who’s an asshole to her and flees the country to Florence to participate in a war before consummating the marriage. Not that I blame him, really, because being forced into a marriage sucks. Though admittedly I rather dislike that the only complaint he levied against her was that she was low born. Before leaving, he gives her a letter which says he’ll only consent to be her husband if she can manage to get his family ring, which never leaves his hand, off of him, and becomes pregnant with his child, both of which are things she can’t do if she never sees him again, which is his plan. He writes “Till I have no wife I have nothing in France,” implying that he won’t return to France unless she annuls the marriage or dies. So she fakes her death and follows him to Florence, where he’s seducing every virgin he can find. She meets up with one that he’s trying to woo, Diana, who’s having none of his bullshit, and promises her and her mother a lot of gold if they’ll get the ring from Bertram, and somehow help Helena trick him into having sex with her and think it’s Diana. So Diana persuades Bertram to part with the ring, Helena rapes him(though how this is achieved is never explained), and becomes pregnant. Bertram returns to France, is pardoned by the king, but then there’s a very weird scene which involves a whole lot of deceit simply so Helena can have a dramatic reveal. Bertram randomly declares that he loves her now, and the play ends, somewhat abruptly.

There are a few references to honesty throughout the play. Helena’s father’s skill as a physician is described by the Countess as “almost as great as his honesty”. She then says that Helena’s “dispositions she inherits, which makes fair gifts fairer; for where an unclean mind carries virtuous qualities, there commendations go with pity—they are virtues and traitors too. In her they are the better for their simpleness. She derives her honesty and achieves her goodness.”

The next time honesty is mentioned is in the quote being discussed. The context of it is interesting. It’s in a conversation between Diana and her mother, in which they’re discussing the importance of virginity. The reason they’re doing that is because Bertram and his douchey friends keep promising to wed virgins so they can have sex with them. The full quote is “The honor of a maiden is her name, and no legacy is so rich as honesty.”

My basic interpretation of this quote is that the “name” being referred to is “maiden” AKA a virgin woman, and “no legacy is so rich as honesty” means that since your worth as an unmarried woman is tied to your virginity, calling yourself a maiden can’t be a lie. If it is, if you aren’t a virgin, it lowers the chances of you marrying someone wealthy, and thus your “legacy”, which I infer means children, won’t be rich.

Shortly after this conversation they meet Helena, disguised as a pilgrim, who wheedles information about Bertram out of them. They bring up the fact that Bertram was married against his will, and Helena badmouths herself, yet adds “All her deserving is a reserved honesty, and that I have not heard examined.” Given the conversation that just took place, I think the “honesty” being referred to may be virginity.

Then they see Bertram, and Diana talks shit about him, saying he isn’t honest. Twice.

Later, when Helena is apologizing to Diana for using her to get Bertram, Diana says “Let death and honesty go with your impositions. I am yours upon your will to suffer.”

Finally, towards the very end of the play, the king describes what Diana did for Helena as “honest aid”.

So honesty seems to have a few different meanings in this play. One, it refers to the actual definition of the word. Two, it refers to virginity. And three, as doing something which achieves ostensibly positive ends, regardless of if deceit is involved.

Which leads us to the title of the play itself. Helena says those words exactly twice during the play, both times in reference to everything she’s doing to get Bertram to finally agree to be her husband. All of this is basic utilitarian logic—the ends justify the means.

Which is why it makes perfect sense for Pete to want to have a quote from this play as a tattoo. In his conversation with Porsche, he justifies beating up a man at Kinn’s order by saying that there are no heroes or villains in reality, unlike what he thought as a child while playing with friends. Pete doesn’t want to be a villain. He doesn’t want to be evil. So he has to justify working for the mafia in his mind. I imagine that his grandmother likely has something to do with why he’s there in the first place—he wants to take care of her, just as Porsche came there initially to take care of Porchay.

But why specifically that quote? Why a quote whose original meaning is about how important it is for a woman to stay a virgin until marriage? What is it about that quote that does it so much for Pete?

We do have to keep in mind that English isn’t Pete’s first language. Hell, it’s mine and it still took me some time to parse the sentence because of the antiquated and poetic nature of it. So there’s the possibility that he didn’t understand the actual meaning of the line. And of course he might not even have read the play at all, simply saw the quote out of context and liked it. Which means that there are two ideas to consider.

If we operate under the assumption that he DIDN’T understand the original meaning of the quote for whatever reason, what is it about Pete that would make him like that quote so much that he’d get a tattoo of it(the only one we’ve seen on him thus far)? Given how obsessive the main family is about keeping their bodyguards on a tight leash, he probably got it before working for them. Perhaps before he even considered working for the mafia. When he still believed in the idea of heroes and villains. After all, heroes are usually shown as being honest. So maybe he valued honestly deeply, and wanted it to be what people remembered of him.

But what if he DID understand? If so, I think the timing of when we first saw it is actually crucial to understanding the meaning of it. The episode in which we see it is the same episode in which we see him start to enjoy being tortured and demeaned by Vegas. When his submissive and masochistic tendencies are revealed. Perhaps he was, on some level, always aware of his desires. And perhaps he hated them. It would make sense, given the way he was raised. So he read that quote, and got it as a tattoo to remind himself to never indulge in those desires, because if he did, he’d lose his worth.

What do y’all think?

[nat111love]

Hii, what is your analysis of Tommy and Lizzie's relationship in S6? Many Lizzie fans say that he forgot about Grace and fell in love with Lizzie, I saw the opposite.

Hey nonnnie!!!

Season 6 tells you everything you need to know about tommy’s love life, and by everything , l mean EVERYTHIIIIIIIING!!!!

Ok, here’s my opinion below:

1. I want to start by pointed out the fact that, that season 6 has once and for all finally put to the rest the debate on whether or not tommy was in love with lizzie. The fandom has been saying for years that tommy was never in love with grace, but the idea of grace. And that the woman he loved, the one he’s been in love with  since the beginning of peaky blinders was lizzie_The fandom claims that he only treated her the way he did, because he loved her and was afraid of his feelings for her ,and that’s also the reason he wouldn’t let her in( And by treated her the way he did, l mean disrespecting her on a regular basis, repeatedly cheating on her as if he was deprived sexually, always putting her last, treating her like a disposable partner or an object he owns )....

News-fucking-flash

this was never a debate ( nor  facts, just wishful thinking ) and tommy was never and is not in love with lizzie. Grace was tommy’ love and his chance for happiness, and when she died that chance died with her .

2. This whole season was a reminder, a confirmation and a sum up of everything we already knew about tommy’ and lizzie’ dynamic. A reminder of Lizzie’ unrealistic expectations in her marriage, a further confirmation of tommy’ inability to be a faithful husband to lizzie and give her the love, attention and respect she desperately wanted from him...basically it was a season 5  sum up with different or subtle nuances and contexts.

3. This season to me is a clear affirmation that tommy was never in love with lizzie, and that he can never give her what she’s always wanted and expected from him which is his love and undivided attention. He was never home, never there for her when she needed him, he didn’t support her emotionally when she needed him most( after ruby’s death), and was constantly cheating on her. He cheated on her several times in season 5, we saw him cheating on her this season with a brunette when he was in Boston, and we also saw him cheating on her with mosley’ fiancé,  diana... That man cheated on her throughout their marriage. And why’s that ?!  

Because that’s not the woman he really wanted to be with... his heart  didn’t choose her!!!

Because he settled for lizzie, he sought replacements for the emotional connection he didn’t have with her. Mistresses (cheating on her), work, and  his favorite thing was spending his time away( trips) ,since he stopped drinking and doing opium...He became addicted to anything that filled the gap within him. And that’s why he couldn’t stop cheating on lizzie, working...Lizzie understandably felt lonely and unhappy in her 7/8 years marriage with tommy, and how could she not ? When she was the only one emotionally invested in their relationship .

4. Tommy realized that lizzie didn’t deserve the pain he put her through and learned to respect her. That’s why he was nicer and more respectful of her this season than he was in the previous seasons, and why he tried to honor his marriage to some extent. Because she’s familly and he cares about her, he tried to give her more attention ( but still kept it superficial ), e.g. when lizzie wrapped both of her hands around tommy’s to remind him that she was there and needed his attention too. Lizzie “Do you feel that, do you feel anything? You know you talk, as if you’re watching everything on a screen.” tommy “When we go home...when we go home, we’ll give the kids to frances , and then you and me will go to bed”  lizzie   “and I”ll be the next item, everything is on the list”. In that scene lizzie was again, trying to connect with a physically present but mentally absent tommy.

There are some things tommy did and said to lizzie because he believed that’s what he was supposed to do and say as her husband, and not because he wanted to do or say those things, that’s why lizzie called him out on ticking boxes, and why I believe he said the line “in this moment, in this room, I love you” line. And also , why lizzie herself didn’t believe that “love confession”.  

5. How can you fall in love with someone you’re unwilling to let in? Tommy’s subconcious and whole being categorically refused and still refuse to let lizzie in, several years after he said he’ll let her in sometimes. Lizzie in season 5  “and you let me in sometimes” tommy  “ I’ll let you in sometimes”,  season 6, four years later “you never let me in”. In 6X04 , we have tommy once again avoiding emotional connection and keeping lizzie at safe distance when he removed lizzie’s hand from his shoulder,  “not yet, not yet..”

( and this is a woman he’s known for 16 years...16 years during which they had an off and on “relationship”...16 years and he still wouldn’t let her in...not yet, not yet!!!) .

All she wanted was to feel close to him and all he wanted was to be left alone...and this was after their daughter’ death. That man is unwilling to emotionally bond with her, and you can’t be in love with a person you can’t emotionally connect with. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

As I already said, tommy cared about lizzie, He loved her but wasn’t in love with her. He loved her the way he loved his family members. 

To put it in a nutshell ,

it was a family love and not a romantic love.

I’m not sure that there has been any point in the show where we’re meant to believe that tommy  was falling for lizzie…Ok, let me rephrase it ...

there hasn’t been any point in the show where we’re meant to believe that tommy was falling or fell for lizzie. 

We lived long enough( and by long enough I mean 6 seasons, 14 years) in tommy' and lizzie's dynamic to know that he was never in love with her and that, the supposed "love confession" was a lie, because it didn’t match tommy’s actions and behavior. And lizzie knew it too .  She’s known that man for 16 years, So she knows when he’s lying . That’s why she called him out on it "you sound like you’re ticking a fucking  box, and I don’t konw what’s inside the box . Never have you let me in. Even though I know the combination to the safe”. 

 SHE KNEW HE DIDN'T MEAN IT.

NONNIE THE SHOW IS OoooOOOVER!!

And it ended with 1.lizzie finally realizing that tommy wasn’t in love with her and that he will never love her like she loves him, 2. her walking away and recognizing that she deserved more than what he could offer.

IT IS CANON THAT TOMMY COULDN'T BE THE HUSBAND SHE DREAMED OF BECAUSE OF HIS EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABILITY.( everything that will happen in the movie is a bonus ). 

[pluckyredhead]

Please Care About Aquaman With Me: New Millennium, New Magic Water Hand

Welcome back to Atlantis! Last time, things were going pretty okay for Arthur and company! Don’t get used to it.

CW: Ableism, specifically regarding autism.

The previous Aquaman run, the 1994 volume, ended in 2001. It’s two years later, and the status quo has changed drastically, mostly thanks to a Justice League plotline called The Obsidian Age. The first time I read the 2003 series, I thought that the initial writer (Rick Veitch) didn’t do a good job of summing up The Obsidian Age for context. Now that I’ve read The Obsidian Age, I understand that that’s impossible, because it’s incomprehensible.

But here’s the short, relevant version: during a massive interplanetary war, Arthur decided to keep Atlantis safe by having Garth use magic to transport the entire city and all its inhabitants centuries into the past, to a golden age in Atlantean history known as the Obsidian Age. (You know how I keep saying Garth is ridiculously OP? Yeah.) This turned out to be a bad call, since this so-called golden age was actually ruled by a tyrannical queen, who enslaved the modern Atlanteans (and turned Arthur into sentient water and kept him in a swimming pool, lol), and Garth and the JLA had to go back in time and rescue them, and most of them died in the process (they got better).

ANYWAY. The Atlanteans are back in their home time now, but they are pissed, because Atlantis was above the surface during the Obsidian Age, and now it’s underwater again, and apparently by resubmerging Atlantis, Arthur basically did a blasphemy, even though it saved them all from slavery centuries in the past. Sure.

Et tu, Vulko??? I mean, I guess this is par for the course for you these days.

Arthur is left to die. He manages to break free, but Atlantis has been taken over by the Evil Wizard Political Party, who have turned the fish against Arthur (lolll again), so he can’t go back into the ocean. He staggers inland, to a lake, where he meets the Lady of the Lake. Yes, that one:

She calls him a hero and replaces his harpoon hand with a hand made of magic water:

Arthur falls in with some fisherpeople, including a lady who he’s very flirty with, and decides to just stay in Ireland indefinitely I guess? (Oh yeah...he’s in Ireland.) But what’s going on down in Atlantis?

Well, it’s not great:

The scaly dude is Hagen, leader of the sorcerers and the new prime minister. That’s Mera under all that coral (?); Hagen and his cronies are keeping her magically drugged and then using her authority to do whatever they want.

Mostly "whatever they want” involves...making giant monsters with sex magic?

Yeah, these two fuck in the water over an open volcano and giant mutated sea creatures come out of it. That’s a thing. That happens.

Anyway. Rodunn, the former captain of Arthur’s guard, is told by Hagen that he has to kill Arthur properly if he wants to be the captain of Mera’s guard. He goes to Ireland to murder Arthur, but the giant mutated sea creature he’s riding attacks him, and Arthur saves him and then heals him with his magic water hand:

Rodunn goes pretty much completely around the bend at this point, but at least it’s in Arthur’s favor. He basically returns to Atlantis and starts running around babbling about Arthur like he’s Jesus.

Meanwhile, Garth shows up to tell Arthur that the situation in Atlantis is bad: he’s not allowed to see Mera, he and Dolphin and Cerdian are under house arrest (he escaped), and also there’s the weird volcano-fucking-to-make-monsters situation. Arthur’s like “But Atlantis hurt my feeeeeeeelings.” Garth has no patience for his whining:

He projects their souls into the bodies of fish so that they can enter Atlantis and Arthur can see how bad things are. They see Mera being forcibly drugged and Arthur is furious, but when they get back to land he’s like “Idk...maybe I won’t save Atlantis...” until Garth’s like “Uh, Mera, though?” and he’s like “Oh shit u right.” The WORST husband, I swear to god.

Unfortunately, Arthur’s magic water hand isn’t supposed to be used for violence, and he totally punched Rodunn with it before. This awoke an ancient evil called the Thirst that is now going to...drink the Lady of the Lake and her sisters, unless Arthur stops it.

GLUK GLUP GOLP

Also, Black Manta shows up pretty much completely at random, at which point it’s revealed that he’s autistic, and that’s why he’s been a baby-killing supervillain all this time. YEAH. THAT HAPPENS. FUCK THIS COMIC.

Arthur uses his magic water hand to “cure” Manta:

HOO BOY.

Manta’s like “Omg I’m so sorry my autism made me evil, can I team up with you and defeat the Thirst?” Garth’s like “This seems like a really bad idea, and also, what about Atlantis???” Arthur tells him that he’s pretty sure him defeating the Thirst will free Atlantis, SOMEHOW, but that Garth should go back home and find Vulko or Rodunn to help him...overthrow the government or something. So helpful, Arthur!

Garth returns to Atlantis and teams up with Vulko, who has been quietly working against Hagen by teaming up with an escaped experimental, uh...jellyfish man named Man O’ War, who has killed that extremely uncomfortable volcano fucking couple from before so that they can’t make more monsters.

Man O’ War’s the guy with the tentacles. He will never show up again.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Black Manta pursue the Thirst, and Arthur actually defeats him - only to be shot in the back at a critical moment by Black Manta:

I mean...I guess at least Manta’s like “just kidding, my autism didn’t make me evil, I was autistic and also evil for unrelated reasons of it’s fun”? But what the actual fuck.

Arthur gets so mad he hits Manta with his magic water hand, which causes him to merge with the Thirst into a giant water monster, OBVIOUSLY:

“A relapse.” Of being autistic. Jesus Christ.

Arthur/the Thirst (Arthirst?) travel to the side of the dying Lady of the Lake, fighting each other all the while, and Arthur kisses her, thus restoring her with love instead of violence and permanently vanquishing the Thirst. This has the added and completely inexplicable bonus of stripping away the magical powers of Hagen and his allies down in Atlantis, meaning that...Vulko and Garth are in charge now, I guess??? This makes zero sense but whatever.

With Hagen vanquished, Arthur is safe to return to the sea, and so he must bid farewell to the woman he has been flirting with for twelve issues now. She assumes they can’t be together because he’s too busy shacking up with people like Wonder Woman, and instead of explaining that it’s because HE HAS BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME, he drops this absolute mindfuck of a line:

THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU???

Next up: Sub Diego!

[shruggless]

So I'm rewatching Encanto again and realized something about how the movie went about showing Abuela Alma dealing, or rather not dealing with her trauma and something I haven't seen anyone talking about. This post shows a really nice comparison of what I'm talking about.

In the beginning we, and mostly likely everyone who wasn't present when Pedro died, get told about this beautiful gift that was given to the Madrigals after the tragedy that was Pedro's death. While we get told this story by Alma we see a, for lack of a better word, "romanticized" version of this tragedy how the moutains grow while Alma looks in wonder and how Casita appears and Alma waves at it and how eveyone got given a gift something special to protect and maintain the Miracle that was given. It all has a tone of apathy to it because it so toned down.

Which is what Alma makes it out to be hiding her trauma, saying because of Pedros sacrifice they get gifted the Miracle making it this beautiful tragedy. This post does really well with going a bit more in depth about Almas character and trauma.

Then when we get to the end of the movie after Casita is gone and Abuela talks to Mirabel at the river. We see how this story actually unfolds, buildings burning, people running, Alma screaming in agony when she has to watch her husband die. She breaks down and with the force of her agony the Miracle is born pushing out the threads, building the mountains and eventually Casita as well. We see her holding the candle and turning to the people that escaped with her. She is actually adressing the trauma adressing how she (obviously) never thought that's what her life would be.

I genuinely love how they showed all of this, making this visual of how Alma basically played down her trauma to make it a good thing.

Seeing this tho made me wonder or rather realize, that I'm pretty sure it was never really 100% Pedro's sacrifice giving the Miracle but Abuela Almas extrem agony and pain that creates the Miracle.

We see the Miracle burst into existence when Alma falls to the ground pushing the men away and then creating the mountains. Alma desperately needed to protect what she had left of Pedro which were her Children so she creates all of this, we know by context clues that most likely noone can get in or out of Encanto without some trouble.

I think it makes you also wonder how Alma knew the Miracle would grand everyone a gift, since there is this whole ceremony. I think that with her desire and desperation she willed the gifts into existence without knowing. She was just so desperate to protect their homes and the people around her. She was suddenly given all this responsibility and a live she basically didn't want.

The first three gifts were Healing, Future sight and Emotion based weather control. All three are incredibly helpful but also reflect something that Alma needed in someway. Healing is quite obvious Alma was in so much pain that needed healing so Julietas gift manifested to atleast heal physical injurys and pain, with Alma being so afraid of what could happen in the future Bruno got Future visions even if he almost only got "bad" ones. With Pepa it might be a bit of a stretch but Alma had to restrain and keep her emotions in check and hiden so much that Pepa got a gift that would always show her emotions in a "It's okay to show them"-way, tho Pepa in the end had to also restrain them because Alma said so.

The following gifts are all more about helping everyone in Encanto but slowly turn into personal things. With Isa, Dolores and Luisa it's Perfection&Beauty, Hearing and Strength. Isa for continuing the Madrigal line, Dolores being helpfull with her hearing and Luisa with her Strength but with Camilo it's already more of a personal thing Shape-shifting is still helpful but we can tell Camilo is an entertainer so that's obviously helpful for himself in someway.

Mirabel is the actual line breaker she is not only the next Matriarch but also shows that the gifts are not what it's about anymore and then finally Antonio who gets his gift of talking to animals because he loves them so much "I know you're an animal guy" is what Mirabel says to him. Sure talking to animals can be useful but it's actually about Antonios interests and not about usefulness.

Obviously all of this might be a stretch but it is very interesting to think about in my opinion. I do stand by the fact that Abuela Alma created the Miracle and not necessarily Pedro's death alone and that in the end it morphed from Desperate protection to keeping the legacy of this gift alive though happiness.

Obviously the gift descriptions are a bit watered down especially Isabella and Bruno. There is a lot to be said about both their gift that I think would be better addressed in a different post if people want to hear about that.

[thought-about-it]

FJETH

I just need to write this down, because I’m currently obsessing over this maybe-not-so-crack ship for some reason. And even though I say I love this ship, there’s still a caveat to it. When they first meet, Nott constantly makes fun of Fjords accent (which I’m sure is more Sam than Nott) but it is easy to work that into canon as if Nott is making fun of his regional Wildemount dialect by poking fun at perceived stereotypes. She then tries to steal the Soltryce Academy letter from Fjord, thinking that Caleb deserves it more, which shows she doesn’t respect Fjord at all when she knows his goal is to attend that Academy.  Fjord initially treats Nott as a misguided child (thinking Caleb is the protector in their relationship) and also doesn’t seem to understand “how Nott works at a base level”. (Sam’s words, Talks Machina: Discussing Campaign 2 So Far) Maybe because she is the first monster-kind he’s ever had meaningful interaction with? He tries to get Nott to go underwater (and somewhat endangers her life) with the promise of buttons, condescendingly, which Nott does call him out on, but Fjord continues the Buttonbeard farce throughout their underwater adventures.

Throughout the campaign, even though they have both worked together and protected each other during combat, both of them still constantly pick at each other, their intentions to annoy each other, but sometimes they end up genuinely hurting each other’s feelings with their words. I can’t remember when exactly, but Nott starts making fun of Fjord’s weak frame (a sensitive subject because of his low self-esteem), and when Fjord said that Nott looked better with seaweed in her mouth (it makes sense in context, ep 44) she visibly wilts at that, agreeing that his words are true. I’d like to mention that Nott also pranks Fjord into thinking he’s killed her at one point, which (in-character) Fjord becomes very panicked and dismayed. (ep 55 “take my spurs, but not my goblin girl”)

Later, after Fjord learns that Nott died by drowning and is actually a halfling reincarnated as a goblin, he goes to properly apologize to her about his actions during their time at sea. which she accepts graciously, saying that he couldn’t have known since she’s kept her past close to heart. They also bond through their mutual shared experiences (of drowning) which Nott didn’t really seem to register as his trauma also until now. After this point, Fjord is much nicer towards Nott, but she does continue to make fun of his fears (“3 kobolds in a cloak”  Ep 53, Madame Musk) and his strength (Ep 57,  his rubber wrists). Though that, In context, was when she was nervous about meeting her husband again and Fjord prevented her from getting drunk, so she might have been purposefully spiteful for that reason (not to excuse her or anything.).

Alright, so I this point, I’ll mention my caveat. I’m personally a big stickler in trying to keep to canon as close as possible even when I’m shipping crack ships. I like Yeza. I think Yeza and Nott are cute. Nott’s whole motivation for her character development was to reunite with her husband and son again, so that’s not something I can ignore in my headcanon. I also have large disdain for homewrecker situations, so at this point, at most I can say is that I think it’s possible that Fjord has a small crush on Nott, which Nott may or may not acknowledge but also she’d never act on it even if it were mutual. But if not for the circumstances, I basically ship one-sided angsty Fjord (he starts looking at her differently when he learns of her past), with eventual mutual attraction from both sides (sometime in the future, I dunno, I’m only up to Ep 65).

 It really doesn’t help though, during Episode 57′s break  (so I don’t consider it canon at all), the table acknowledges the belligerent sexual tension between Fjord and Nott. (Laura tells them they haven’t tried to bone yet, Sams says they’ve tried a lot, but, uh, they don’t physically fit together.) There’s many more fun interactions between them, but I wanted to point out these few moments of  emotional shift between them. These two just have everything I like to see in a enemies-to-friends(-to-lovers?) dynamic, starting off with mutual disrespect, constant bickering and teasing due to different viewpoints, realizing shared traumas  (both of them are uncomfortable with their “monster” bodies, both of them have drowned before), and finally becoming more understanding of each other and caring about each other’s personal problems..

Some honorable mentions:

- Fjord teleports an unconscious Nott to safety? (Am I remembering that correctly?)

- Fjord has taken away her flask to prevent her from drinking too much, which might be a sign of caring about her.

- Nott gives Fjord an acid potion for protection when he’s about to see Avantika, and she says they’ll stay up until he comes back to make sure he’s safe. (Not sure if she actually stays up, since Fjord sneaks back to his bed)

- Fjord asks indignantly if Nott is flirting with a Minotaur.

- “the greens stick together: “drowning victims [stick together]“

- Nott dives in between Fjord and a large snapping tortoise, trying to protect him with her tiny body. Anyway this is actually my letter of apology for all future Fjeth drawings.

[jayoctodot]

The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.