#for anyone who is wondering abt my schedule here is it

[elizabethlailfricked]

"We don't talk anymore. Do you not like me? 🥺"

Ok first of all my schedule is literal shit during the weekdays and second you literally told me you were gonna off yourself 12 times this summer and to all of my friends just for shits and giggles 🤓🤚

[anniesannex]

You’re so art deco

Chapter two

Description: you are a struggling college student who needs some cash. Your friend suggests a sugar daddy but you wouldn’t do that. Right?

I’m so sorry it took a bit to get up but here’s chapter two! Also sorry abt the 1975 reference I was listening to that song. -A

“WHAT?!” Grace’s jaw dropped as she heard the news. “But I thought you didn’t want a sugar daddy.”

“I was wrong. And I’m sorry.” You heard yet another ping from your laptop.

“Is that him?” Grace looked baffled as you nodded. “What did he say?” As you looked you had seemed to find a mirror selfie. Of Johnny wearing a nice button up shirt and some slacks.

“Goddamn.” You spoke.

“Goddamn is right!” Grace exclaimed. “What do I even do with this information.”

“Please don’t tell anyone I wanna keep this lowkey.” You pleaded with Grace.

“Okay but only because I love you.” Grace started to get ready for bed herself.

“I love you too I’m gonna send him a pic back do I look cute?” You asked as she laughed.

“Yeah, totally.” She smiled as you took the picture. This was probably the happiest she had seen you since you moved in.

“Thank you so much, you’re literally the best!” You were grinning as it sent. “But we should get ready for bed.”

“I know you might be a little wired with this new sugar daddy but I’m ready to go to bed.” Grace laughed.

“Goodnight Gracie.” You pulled the covers up onto your body. “I love you.”

“Night (y/n/n). I love you too.” Grace smiled as you began to shut your eyes and drift off into sleep.

Waking up you checked your computer.

@johnC95: good morning Doll. Hope you have a good day.

@Y/n: good morning Johnny. You too. Luckily I’m off today.

@johnC95: so where do you go to school?

@y/n: UCLA.

@johnC95: oh cool, I’m not that far from there. Would you wanna do like coffee?

@y/n: sure, when would you wanna meet up?

Your heart pounded in your chest. What were you going to wear? How were you going to do your hair? What if he didn’t like you when you guys met up?

@johnC95: I’m kind of booked for the next couple days. Is Saturday okay?

You look at the calendar. Saturday was three days away. You looked to see if you were working as you typed.

@y/n: lemme check my schedule. I should be good though.

As you doubled checked you sighed in relief

“Thank god.” you said to yourself. “I’m off on a Saturday, for once.”

@johnC95: sounds good! I wanna hear your voice again so bad.

@y/n: maybe we can talk later tonight. Btw what’s your number?

@johnC95: oh I’m sorry it’s (xxx)xxx-xxxx.

You type it into your phone putting it under the contact ‘Johnny <3’. As you text the number you feel a strange sensation in you stomach, like it was being tied into knots. Why was it that you were so nervous to text him?

You decide on a quick ‘Hi it’s y/n :).’

‘Hello doll :).’

You sighed as you start to get out of bed.

‘What are you doing today?’

‘I’m not sure I might lounge around my dorm, do some coursework, just try to relax’

‘Fair enough. I really do wanna hear your lovely voice. Or even see that beautiful face (y/n).’

‘Why don’t we talk right now? Even if it isn’t for long.’

‘I’m going to be with my daughter soon and I want to make sure she’s my first priority.’

‘You have a daughter? What’s her name? How old is she?’

‘Her name is Cassie and shes 16.’

‘Okay awesome!’

‘Sorry gtg she’s here!’

You wonder what she was like. You went to your closet pulling out a baby tee that said ‘reading is sexy’ and a pair of low rise jeans. Putting on socks you lace up your black converse. Then putting on music you decided to do your hair and makeup.

“This has to be a little over kill to just go study.” You laughed to yourself as you put on mascara.

“Bitchhhhhh.” Grace yelled as she entered your dorm. “Hot psych guy wasn’t in class today. I wanna cry.”

“I’m sorry dude.” You turned to her with a frown. “Wanna grab coffee with me before I have to go to the library?”

“Sure. The local one though. On campus. It has such better coffee.”

“Obviously, it’s a local coffee shop. They’re always better.” You laughed. “But let’s go.”

You grab your stuff not forgetting your phone and headphones. Grace opened the door back up.

“Nice shirt.” Grace winked as she held the door open.

“Thanks, my friend got it for me.” You winked back. Remembering when you and her got baby tees on the boardwalk. Laughing she led the way to the shop. You held the door open for her as you guys chatted.

“Dude would you love me if I was a worm?” Grace asked, cackling.

“Are you like a talking worm or a regular one?”

“What the fuck?!” She giggled. “A talking worm! It’s so funny, like ‘help (y/n) I got turned into a talking worm!’ That’s so crazy.”

“It’s a hypothetical in a hypothetical!” You chuckled as you guys got up to the counter.

“Iced coffee oatmilk?” grace asked.

“Dude I asked I can’t let you buy it. It’s on me this time.” You tried, knowing she wouldn’t let you.

“No seriously. Dude, I love you and you deserve this.” She smiled. “Two medium iced coffees with oat milk please.”

“Fine you win, but I’m paying next time.”

“Never going to happennnn!” Graced took out her card. “Thank you so much, have a great day.”

You guys sat down and waited for your coffee as you talked about the whole sugar daddy thing.

“I’m nervous to meet him.” You admitted. “Like what if he doesn’t like me?”

“He’s gonna fucking love you!” Grace exclaimed. “Are you kidding me! You’re literally the best!”

“You’re right. I’m being silly.”

“Oh our coffee is ready!” She ran to grab them “I’ll walk you to the library. It’s a sucky walk without a friend.”

“You’re right.” You agreed as you felt your phone buzz.

‘I think can’t wait to hear your voice again.’ You smiled as you type back.

‘That is really sweet. Thank you Johnny.’

‘Cassie is gonna go out with a friend tonight. Should I come up tonight?’

‘Sure.’

“SHIT!” You yelled. “Grace. We need to go back to the dorm.”

“What’s wrong (Y/n)?” she followed you as you took a break neck pace towards your dorm building. “Stop running!”

You only stopped briefly as you texted Johnny.

‘So what were you thinking?’

‘Maybe we do dinner. How’s Italian sound?’

‘Great what time were you thinking?’

‘How abt I pick you up @ 8?’

‘Perfect!’

“WHATS GOING ON?!” Grace yelled out of breath.

“It’s happening tonight.” You stared in awe.

“What?”

“ITS HAPPENING TONIGHT!”

“Oh-then lets go!” You both started running again. As you reached your dorm you both hastily got inside. “What are you thinking about wearing? Where is it? How long until he picks you up? “

“We’re doing Italian, he’s picking me up at eight and I have no fucking clue!”

“I have an idea how about that black and pink floral dress with kitten heels, my viviennes, that heart pendant and pink floral clutch?”

“You are literally a life saver! And how about a y2k claw clip half up-half down look for my hair?!”

“Let’s do this.” You laughed as Grace pulled out the outfit while you hopped into the shower. As you showered you thought about Johnny and that feeling came back. You cursed those damned butterflies as you calmed yourself down.

Making sure that you were properly cleaned you popped on some of the 1975.

“I like my men like I like my coffee, full of soy milk and so sweet, it won’t offend anybody.” You sang as you put your makeup on and danced around your bathroom.

“Dude I love that song!” Grace yelled out as she pulled you out of the bathroom.

“You’re lucky I was done.” You feigned a serious look. Before cracking up.

“I’m gonna help you get ready.” You stepped into the dress as she checked your messages with Johnny.

“He said ‘I can’t wait to see how gorgeous you look when I come pick you up, doll. And you sent me the right building?’’

“Text him back ‘awww Johnny, you’re too sweet. And yes I did.’”

“Okay and sent!” Grace watched as you put in the earrings. “Don’t forget the pink claw clip! It’ll match better!”

“Thank you grace!” You fixed up your hair and did final touches to your makeup.

“Wow, (y/n/n). If Johnny doesn’t like you, I’ll be your sugar daddy.”

“Gracie!”

You heard the buzzer to be buzzed into your dorm. Looking at your phone you saw his text.

‘I’m here.’

‘Okay buzzing you up!’ As you did so. Soon enough you heard a knock at your door. Letting him in you saw that he was even more gorgeous than on the screen. His perfectly quaffed hair was about to be in silver fox territory as he had evidence of smile lines beginning to form at his eyes. He was tall and muscular. As you could see from the curves of his suit.

“You look- wow.” He stared, face full of awe.

“Thank you Johnny. You look good too.” You smiled, catching a glance at what was in his hand. “What are those?”

“Oh-” his trance had been broken, as he held them out for you. “These are for you.”

“Thank you so much! They’re beautiful!” You took the bouquet.

[gogolstoelicker]

OB gang with albedo mc ?

Like at first they got the cold treatment (aka how albedo treated anyone and anything he wasn’t interested in)

Then slowly they warmed up and got to see the other side of them ( aka how albedo treated the traveler (kinda smug low-key flirty etc)

OB! gang with Albedo! MC

a/n: •FUCK THAT MAN HE DIDN'T COME HOME EVEN WHEN I WAS GUARANTEED

•if im being honest, albedo would probably be so interest in twst that he could not be cold to them. well maybe some of them but I'll make it work

warning:spoilers abt book 6(that i myself barely know about but here we are)

Friendly and popular, you gained fame for your alchemical talents. Though popular, you have an extreme distaste for social interactions. Barely anyone knows anything of your personal life as you are quite secretive about it.

Fueled by the feeling of enlightenment, you research about the things that pique your interest and once the feeling is gone, you lose all interest. Along with your alchemical genius, you're also a respectable artist.

Riddle:

he had heard u were really good at alchemy and making potions from trey who heard from ace

so he is very much curious about your world and how you got to know alchemy

start up a convo with u when he saw u in the middle of his walk

and you're sketching grim LMAOAOAOA

literally acted like u didn't know he was there bc you're sketching can't he see🙄

riddle thought it was kind of rude and pointed it out

still acted like u dont know

it takes u finsihing the grim drawing for u to even look at him

we all know hes angry so lets skip!!

riddle would like to know the basic alchemy of ur world and got absolutely flabbergasted when u showed him

"how the heck did a magicless student like you managed do that⁉️"

"but that is basic alchemy??" -u after turning dust to a bird

eventually,riddle had to cut the convo short bc he have a schedule to follow🤗so u went back to grim sketching

he tried to invite you to the unbirthday party bc he really enjoyed ur convo

but u declined it

but still went there bc the adeuce duo forced you LMAOAOAOA

so like kapoosh kapow the ob happened and a day after that he got interrogated by u

no break for riddle💀

u were very much interested in how he felt before and after the ob, if anything changes about him after the ob, what was it really that triggered the ob and-

CALM DOWN HES TRYING TO ANSWER ONE BY ONE

you're like "🤔hmm i see" the entire time with this serious face

u also gave him a potion for quick recovery so good for him!!(u gave everyone who overblot btw im just too lazy to write for all)

saw ur sketchbook one and saw some sketches of him

in both his ob form and how he is normally

"🧍why did u drew me"

"u carry a different aura and look different from how u usually do, it's quite fascinating"

"BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY OVERBLOT??"

multitasking royalty😂🙌who knew you could draw him while fighting him off

Leona:

you've seen some people with ears like him back in your world so you're not exactly as interested 🤷

even ur assistant have non-human like ears

tho u do wonder if there's anything different abt him since hes technically not from ur world

i dont think yall will interact much before the ob but after? and when book 3 is happening??

knowing how he acts, you're quite disappointed

"not only are u skilled but you're also quite knowledgeable. you could've been something greater if only you could muster up some motivation and ambition in you other than for the throne"

leona goes 🤨🤬you picking a fight or smth⁉️

but then also got goosebumps bc why is this small fry doing analysis of him and how come you know so much already😱

ruggie snickering beside him bc bro got called out so hard

bc hes pissed at u, he quite literally got an A on every single subject LMFOAOAOAOA

mans live off of spite (me too)

you did saw it and was quite pleased hes showing more of his potential

praised him so hard u made his ego bigger

is this... the feeling of recognition😍⁉️ -leona /hj

saw ur sketches of him during ur stay in savanaclaw in book 3

was surprised you captured every single detail about him, lowkey smug abt it

"you were staring at me so hard huh. you could've just asked if you wanted to draw me"

"oh? then by all means, strike up a pose for me. i would love to draw u again"

"...i never said yes, herbivore"

Azul:

not interested in you other than taking ur dorm for business + not interested in him at all

signed the contract anyway bc why not LMAOAOA

totally not bc grim was trying to get u to sign it so bad, no. not at all

anyways now you're homeless and is staying at savanaclaw

lets skip a lil bc i literally have nothing to say

yknow when the tweels tried to sabotage yall?

u literally fend them off using ur geo vision

them: 😧⁉️

they did report to azul

"but that bitch is magicless⁉️" is what he would say if hes not a professional businessman

hes sobbing and crying and clutching his contracts bc how dare⁉️

and u found out he is an octopus like after the blot so yknow what that means

"i would like to see u in that form, if you do not mind"

azul's glasses breaking bc he absolutely refused to

"😕😔a shame but it's alright" *starts studying that childhood pic of him instead*

azul standing right behind u🕴

he did ask why do u wanna see that form of his

and u go "that's something u wouldn't find in my world, i would like to know everything i could know"

the tweels agreed for a price btw

idk whats the price dont ask me

u sometimes visit the lounge bc that place is pretty as hell

notices how u would draw the place sometimes and the gear in his head was working so hard on how to get money from that

peeked into the sketchbook once

saw many sketches of him in his other form or what u think would be his other form

and the way its so accurate😧⁉️

🕴🕴- u and azul

Jamil:

i feel like u would recognize him for his many talents??

and would totally go "why are u hiding it if you know you could do it🤨🤔"

"i do not know what you're talking about☺" -jamil

u just shrug bc oh well. none of ur business

hes kind of glad u decided to drop the topic but also kinda :/ bc there goes his plan if u could see through him that easily

he is quite knowledgeable so u often ask him abt his homeland and their designs there and everything else bc

my god is scarabia pretty😍

u drew scarabia so often its not even funny anymore

and yknow those times he would like hypnotize kalim?

u knew smth was up but decided not to confront jamil abt it

he witnessed u eating a spider one time

he considered letting u go back to ur dorm out of fear LMFAOAOAA

u noticed him and asked if he would like some

U EVEN RECOMMENDED HIM SPIDERS TASTED GOOD WITH THIS AND THIS💀

he was on the verge of tears😔🙏rip jamil, he could've lived a normal life if life loved him enough

u finding out jamil and kalim is a little like subject 2 and u: 😱⁉️(trying to uh replace someone's position or smth)

after the entire blot stuff, he absolutely let u know if theres any bugs around

bc like hell is he fighting those bugs

you're delighted bc yes nutritious foods!!

jamil watching it all:

Vil:

you drew vil quite a lot since he's very pretty

vil is quite drawn to u from the start bc you're also very pretty

has heard of how great you are at making potions and alchemy from epel

so when the program thing happened, hes quite happy that he got to talk to you more

since he was living with u, he could see the many drawings of him and the others (vil and the non-vils. u totally don't play favorite)

vil seeing those beautiful sketches, thinking of ways to promote yalls group with ur talent

he did commission u for it and even offered to pay

u going k sure, i dont mind

vil posted the art on social media and it got so many attention💀

and yknow how vil is so popular and all? yeah so many people asked him to get in touch with u so they could commission u smth bc ur talent is just so😍😍🙏🙏‼️‼️

congrats⁉️it was supposed to be for their promotion but u accidentally got promoted as well

vil is very happy and proud

well after the whole overblot thing, u sometimes visit pomefiore for various other reasons

sometimes bc some famous ppl wanted to get in touch with u, sometimes u just wanna go potion potion with vil

Idia:

he is actually very thankful that you're not interested in him in any way

or so he thought

you're in fact very interested in him

his hair is quite unique to you + his creations are quite interesting to you

"woah unique robots😍" u 5 mins before disaster

and by that i meant a bigass hole in the dorm you're staying in LNFAOAO

so yknow how rook, epel and mc tried to save the others by going to this place they're supposedly brought to?(i dont think i missed anyone)

and my god are u taking ur time

"what is this fascinating creature?" *tries to eat it*

"PREFECT NO!!" -epel and rook

be thankful you're not from their world or else you would've overblot for that

idia and ortho seeing it all🕴🕴

and when idia and ortho came to see yall, you are even more delighted

"i would like to study you, if you do not mind"

idia bc its supposed to be the other way around:

epel, rook and ortho staring at u:

u did ask again after the whole incident and he def did not broke out in cold sweat

[mo0dy-succubus]

Nsfw (G)I-DLE thoughts that would probably get me arrested 🥲🥲 (OH THEY ARE BAD BAD)

Idk where to start bc it's bad 😭😭😭

⚠ WARNING ⚠ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE DONT READ PLS JUST GO AWAY AND SCROLL (these comments are just out of pure human curiosity I'm not trying to be weird or gross or perverted,I'm not trying to be known as THOSE kpop stans, I'm sorry PLZ) (will I get canceled for this???) Men pls don't interact respectfully for....reasons

If you are still here you brought this upon yourself

1. I was on my phone and was looking at soyeon obviously and it had her bra showing and all I could think was...."I wonder what color her Nipples are" THEN I SMILED EMBARRASSINGLY BIG BC OF THE THOUGHT , I'm not trying to be perverted I swear I'm just curious (ughhh fuck me and my dirty ass mind)

2. We all know how yuqi loves minnies mom right? I wonder If anyone thought abt making a fanfic of their relationship...I'm just going to leave it at that...

3. My personal love language is scents, I'm automatically attracted to/like you if you smell nice(not so much if you stink or smell bad dependingon their environmen), so I sometimes wonder what they((G)I-DLE) smells like or what perfume scents they use.

4. You think they are virgins, I mean it would make since bc they are kpop idols and have busy schedules soooo

5. I wonder who is the worse on their period

6. Do they get horny???

7. Cup size?

Sorry If this makes you uncomfortable I warned you at this point its not on me it's on you for reading it,I gave the warning and post warning soooo 😭.

[messrmoonyy]

Bruh wtf are people sending you like please keep your weird shit to yourself if it isn't abt Tess. You guys who r sending Messr this weird shit wanting to date her n all like don't u get the message that SHE HAS THE MOST WONDERFUL FUCKING GF IN THE WRLD AND SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!!! man just stop being weird to Messr even i get uncomfy reading em so stop please<33

Idk why anyone would think that I’d see a totally anonymous person anyway and be like ‘ hell yeah lemme get on that!’ ?? The same with me too like I’m anonymous AND I have said so many times about my gf like I’m not exactly subtle here am I 💀

BUT LETS LAY THAT TO BED NOW PLS AND THX

Back to your regularly scheduled word prawn and spicy thoughts about miss servopoulos

[monocaelia]

DIDI!! happy valentines!! i’m here to drop something off before i dip again 😌✨

it seems like you have a little gift from childe !

i’m gonna be real with you, you’re most likely gonna be spending valentines alone thanks to childe’s occupation. it’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you— celestia knows there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than at your side.

it’s just very difficult to find some time away from work especially as a harbinger.

but he makes it happen somehow.

the sound of pebbles hitting your bedroom window frighten you initially. however, after peeking through your curtains only to find a suspiciously familiar head of red, your heart can’t help but burst with emotion.

childe shoots you a proud smile. “don’t tell anyone i was here,” he jests as he pulls you in close for the first time in months.

t,,, TEN?? ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

OH MY GOSH YOU!!!! im literally crying throwing up as we speak,,,

stop, this is the sweetest thing that has happened to me today TT and a very nice and thoughtful vday gift!! ohh,, childe TT how i love him so,,, even with his busy schedule he’d make it to be with the one he loves on special days. even if there’s not much he can gift, there’s just so much love and care in his heart, he can’t just not give it to the one who deserves it all TT

thank u for this wonderful valentines gift ten (óvò) i will be thinking abt this for forever 🫶🏼

[riizebabie444]

Hello! How are you doing today hun? Thank you for hosting this game I was wondering if I could participate in it?

I used my intuition for your reading so it probably won't be that accurate so pls take it with grain of salt. This reading only for entertainment purposes.

First of all, I think at first the relationship is gonna be complicated because of his busy schedule, but he will try to work it out because of you, I think you won't like that he is not putting you as his first priority, he has a really lovely energy, but honestly I think he might be a workaholic and he doesn't know when to stop, maybe you will be there for him to teach him how to balance things, you might be someone who is a organizable person and you don't like when someone Crosse your boundaries, you love ur peace. I think you don't give that many chances when someone do you wrongs. That's why he will takes your words seriously and try to work on it. I am seeing late night dates, walking together, fance restaurants, and something abt suger candies maybe u like them? Especially the jelly ones. Movies and theaters. You both will love to cuddle. I think winter is significant here! I see him wearing a beige turtleneck sweater and cuddling u. You might both like drinking hot chocolate in cold weather? Coffee date.

Pls tell me if anything resonated 🤍.

Sarah S. Gemini sun, virgo rising, Aries Moon, taurus venus.

And my celebrity crush is Itsuki Fujiwara.

i see this being a very happy go lucky connection. it would feel like a new beginning for both of you, so you both go all out especially in the beginning. but i think it would be a case of the honeymoon phase. as in, the first few months would be insanely good with each other, pulling out all the stops to impress each other but when that momentum dies down you might feel deceived because you both start acting how you normally would rather than being excessive. you would have a period of clarity realising that it won't always be like it was in the beginning, but you also learn to accept each others true nature when the relationship feels more natural to you. it's nice to be swept off your feet but what will matter the most is the compassion and understanding you have for each other, and that can't happen until you both would deflate your egos. i think this connection would be a long term one, the potential to last a considerable amount of time. one of you might also be more pessimistic while the other is optimistic, so again your egos will be in an uncomfortable position. you might be easily frustrated with each other over small things but you would get over it quickly and laugh about it later on. i think you would have a lot of memories to look back on, especially from your super excited and enthusiastic phases. one of you would be the emotionally stable one and the other would be the materially stable one. you'd balance each other out, each bringing your own unique qualities to the connection. it honestly feels quite mature, you'd handle conflicts well but you also know how and when to let go and have fun, especially when making up after conflicts.

thank you so much for the exchange and for taking part in this game! there were so many things in your reading that are accurate, and what you said about sonny does feel pretty accurate he's a hard worker and is known to push himself to his limits, your reading really resonated! all the things you got right about me: me not giving anyone chances after they wronged me, protecting my peace is my priority, i love jelly sweets so much (it's funny you mentioned it for this reading because he doesn't like sweet things), and i love hot chocolate especially in winter. and it's nice to know i would balance out his hard working energy, there is nothing more i want than for him to take care of himself. and what you said about late night dates and walks and fancy restaurants resonates because other readings have mentioned this too. thank you!

[tt43min]

So yeah, I'm new here :) As y'all can see from bio, I'm a multifan since 2018. If anyone wants to know who's my ults: WJSN & Pentagon.

If anyone is wondering do I have other platforms: I do have.

Tiktok: @tt43min (I post edits there, but since I have busy schedule with school, I post rarely or I don't post anything).

IG: @kql_nkt_ (I don't post there anything, but I was abt to and still trying to make a final decision if I should post or not (edits)).

If y'all have any questions, u can ask me. I'll try to answer asap :')

Nice to meet y'all! \(^-^)/

[sungbeam]

XNONIE PRESENT (FINALLY) !!!

hi beam! college has been kicking my butt recently ☹️ idk how ppl do it but i'm dragging myself through the week right now LMAO

i don't see anything 😀 when i search up my asks 😀 so i unfortunately 😀 have a very vague 😀 idea of our last convo 😀

but i DO remember that you asked about dc!! i'm glad u asked b/c i'm actually trying to get into dc right now! i'm watching titans season 1 on hbo max, recently watched black adam, saw ww84, & saw the new batman movie a while ago! beast boy is kinda 😍💖💕💗💞 in titans HEHEHE- my favorite dc characters rn are him & starfire but i really wanna delve into the franchise more!! who are ur dc biases so far 🙏 (yes we'll be using kpop terminology for non-kpop fandoms from now on)

also i have NOT listened to 28 reasons by seulgi yet b/c of my schedule i feel like such a fake reveluv but i'm looking into that 😭 AND YES GIVE CRAVITY SOME LOVE ON PARTY ROCK <3 i'm taeyoung biased ever since i saw his tiktoks (all their tiktoks are iconic tbh they keep up w/ trends LOL)

HOW HAVE U BEEN BTW?? and are u excited for wakanda forever? i can't believe its coming so soon alreadyyyy 😟❗️

XNONIE !!! BFF !!! I'M SO SORRY FOR MY LATE REPLY I'VE JUST LACKED SO MUCH ENERGY TO EVEN REPLY TO ASKS THIS WEEK (´Д⊂ヽ but i was so excited to see u active and alive akcnekfnek idk how people do it either tbh :') like i felt that so hard when u said ur practically dragging urself thru the week like me too dude, me too 😔 LMAO SOMETHING IS UP W TUMBLR TAGS 🗿🗿🗿 as there always is tbh, but i went thru and found my latest response so i'll link it here BAHHAHA

AHHHH DC YESYES !!! i actually haven't watched the live action titans series yet :0 but i follow ryan potter on instagram so i've def seen some stuff for it !! he's so hot tho so true 😩😩😩 i kinda wish he was casted as nightwing/dick grayson cuz he would've made a really good one, but the current one i think fits as well :') ahh yes i actually am not the greatest fan of dc movies lmao just cuz their animated tv shows r just top notch and so much better imo but i did enjoy the first wonder woman and robert pattinson's the batman !! ooh my dc biases? it's prob the bat boys AHAHAHHA i'm writing an au inspired by them actually rn hehe so basically nightwing/dick grayson, red hood/jason todd, and red robin/tim drake, but i am also particularly fond of roy harper/speedy and robin/damian wayne @_@ they all make my mind go brrrr (wbu tho 👀👀)

AHHHHH WAKANDA FOREVER I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET I FEEL SO SAD ☹️☹️☹️ it's cuz college has also been kicking my ass and watching marvel movies is a thing my family does together and it's just not the same going to see it in theaters w anyone else :( so i've been holding back skcnekfn have u seen it tho :0 i'm also so very excited for quantumania !!! (ﾉ´∀｀*) IT LOOKS SO SO SO GOOD SKFNKENFKD I LOVE PAUL RUDD PLS GIVE THAT MAN AN OSCAR RN

okok i think i also was gonna bring up the fact that i wanted to write another mcu au for svt?? like ik we were talking abt the xmen au, but i was thinking abt making minghao scarlet witch and basically yn is like the one person who truly saw him and when he lost u, all hell broke loose (like in wandavision), and so it's like him recreating a life w u while his friends on the outside r trying to break him out of it before the stinky government folks do skcnwidn

[yandere-daydreams]

wait actually another idea

we haven't talked much yet abt how the bots would be if you got them second hand, so much angsty potential >:3c

imagine an ayaka model who was in storage for about a year while her owner found someone to sell her too, the usually cute and shy model just warped to something so desperate to keep you around, so scared of leaving your side she won't let herself recharge for fear you'll just abandon her too

or a childe bot who was (among other things lol) used as a nanny bot watching ove rhis owner's kids, and does not cope well with suddenly being an empty nester (and of course that means when you fuck him dumb enough to scramble his brains a little he'll beg you to fill him up and give him a purpose again 🥰)

or even if you wanna go less angsty just like, a venti bot with his battery halfway fried who charges for too long and way too often (so don't leave :c what if you're not here for what little time he gets to be active, just stay at home always💞)

just; thots in my head

tw - unhealthy relationships, slight manipulation, controlling behavior, and slight breeding kinks.

i really, really like the Childe scenario - if only because it'd suit him so well. he's always been a family guy at-heart, and he's the happiest when he's looking after a whole pack rather than just a single user, and it's such a big change to go from a house filled with giggling toddlers and moody teens and tired parents to... this, to your quiet, little apartment, to hours of silence and solitude while you're away and he has no one to take care of. he doesn't blame you, obviously, and he'd never hate you, but you have to understand, he's just used to a certain kind of structure. he's just used to having a family, and as much as he knows about your busy schedule and demanding career. he just can't seem to fully understand why you can't give him one.

it bleeds through the most in how he treats you, how he fucks you. even if he knows, logically, that he won't be knocking anyone up, he can't seem to stop himself from bending you over, from pressing your knees to your chest while he thrusts as deeply as he can, from whispering all kinds of things about nurseries and cradles and big, happy families, in need of a nanny as dutiful as he is. you don't use contraception with him for obvious reasons, but you've caught him sorting through your drawers before, and on the rare occasion you bring someone else home, he doesn't get mad, doesn't get jealous, just grins and offers to run out for condoms or morning-after pills or whatever you need before miraculously 'forgetting', despite the fact that his memory card isn't capable of erasing information you haven't asked him to delete. when he cooks for you, which he almost always does, he always puts an emphasis on nutrients, on high-calorie counts, and he's out-right refused to make you coffee more than once, just laughing and explaining that drinks so acid aren't good for people 'in your state'.

you know it's probably just a learned preference, but you can't help but catch on the way his eyes linger on mothers toting newborns and fathers with giggling kids hanging off of their arms. you can't help but think that he really does miss it, that he really did like it, that he really still wants it.

you can't help but wonder what he'd be willing to do to get it back, if you don't give it to him on your own.

[duckymcdoorknob]

I Wonder Why

ITS ME, YA GIRL. BACK WITH ANOTHER LYRIC FIC!

This feels kinda rushed?? So it may not be the best.

Anyways Dion Dimucci is my fucking king so actually listen to the song I plug in.

This is lyric text, as per usual

No flashbacks this time!

Listen while you read!! ♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡︎

Enjoy!!

Ships: Asahi Azumane x gn!reader

Warnings: None!

Prompt: When Asahi begins to exhibit uncharacteristically ludicrous actions, his friends make him wonder why he suddenly had a change of heart.

Tags: General taglist! @lisiwalker, @rebloging-everything, @fushigum , @littlebbyleesfw, @rachi-roo

@asahisimpnation @screamin-abt-haikyuu fellow Asahi simps I think may enjoy this.

Don’t know why I love you like I do...

Asahi had never found himself having to defend his decisions before. He always made the right choices; no matter the time, place or circumstance. He wore the correct fashions, knew correct answers and seemingly made correct calls in volleyball.

He never had to defend his decisions.

He always knew just what to do.

He carefully planned his every move.

That is... until you came along.

You electrified his life. You sparked the vague tinge of adventure in him. Asahi used to map out and psychoanalyze every thing he ever did. Now? He simply rides the tide, not caring to overthink the consequences.

His friends and teammates noticed the sudden change in him. It was as if he had adopted an entirely new persona within a minute.

When Asahi was asked as to why he now just closes his eyes and leaps, he replied in one way:

“Don’t know why I do.”

“Well you’ve gotta have some kind of reason.” Daichi said in exasperation, sitting down at the library table and bringing two drinks with him.

Don't know why I love you.

“I really don’t know, Daichi.” He muttered in return, happily accepting the green tea he was handed.

“Something had to have brought it forth.” Suga replied nonchalantly, cautiously sipping the lemonade that Daichi had brought for him.

Don't know why I care.

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe I just matured. What if I wanna just be tough and wild for once?”

“Yeah no one who’s tough or wild would ever say that, dude.” Suga teased, chuckling softly as he turned the page in his book.

“Let me ask you this.” Daichi started, “What’s your goal here? What do you want?”

“What I want?”

“Yes. What do you gain from this change of heart?”

‘I just want your love to share…’

I wonder why, I love you like I do.

After that day, It didn’t take his friends long to realize why Asahi had changed. He wasn’t exactly hiding his adoration for you.

He was laughing a little too much at your stupid jokes, he was always walking you home after school so that you would “get home safely.”, he was bringing you a treat every Friday, because he knows that when your Chem teacher has your tests scheduled for.

Asahi was smitten with you. He loved you, point blank, period.

He’d known it for a while.

Is it because I think you love me too?

He’d known the day that you snorted when he made you laugh, he knew when you “fell” down with him when he slipped in the cafeteria, he knew when he first met your eye and you smiled at him.

I wonder why, I love you like I do, like I do.

All these little things.

What did they mean?

They’re just casual things that happen to people! You’re a kind person, you would’ve done it for anyone. But something within him still made his heart pound and his face heat up. What if you did like him?

I told my friends that we would never part.

As the three third years met once again, as they have every Friday, the Ace’s nerves seemed to be at an apex. He was going to ask for help with making you his partner, he just didn’t know where to start.

“Guys I got a confession to make.” Asahi said quietly, interrupting the absolute silence of the library.

Daichi and Suga looked up at him with just a tinge of anxiety in their minds.

Asahi sighed out a breath, “I’m-“

“Plotting against the vice principal?” Daichi asked in a teasing manner.

“What? No I’m-“

“Harboring a fugitive in your backyard?” Suga interrupted

“Suga no! I’m-“

“A secret agent?”

“Daichi!”

“Sorry, sorry.” The captain chuckled, “Go ahead.”

“I think I’m in love…” the ace sighed, “with (Y/N).”

The other two third years turned to each other and blinked slowly, smiles plastered across their features.

“Nooooo. Really?” Suga asked, feigning innocence.

“We never could’ve guessed.” Daichi teased, chuckling heartily.

“We’ll fine then!” Asahi pouted, sucking the inside of his cheek in annoyance, “I won’t tell you guys anything ever again.”

They often said that you would break my heart.

I wonder why they think that we will part, we will part.

“We’re only teasing you, Asahi.” Daichi replied with a small snort, “What’s your plan now?”

“What?”

“I mean where do you want to go from here?” The captain quirked a brow, staring at his spiker.

Asahi grew slightly agitated, “Stop asking me such open ended questions! You know how indecisive I am!”

“Hey, hey! Just think about it.” Daichi rose his hands in defense, “Are you really sure? I mean look at how much you’ve changed since you met them-“

“And I’ve only changed for the better!” Asahi replied matter-of-factly, “I know that you’re worried you’re gonna lose me, but I was friend married to both of you first so.”

Sugawara rose his hand to cover his mouth as giggles leaked out of it.

“I’m trying to be genuine here!”

Daichi soon followed as a strand of laughs fell from him too.

“You guys are assholes. This is spouse harassment.”

And after waiting for his friends to fall out of their fits of laughter, that were a bit too loud for the library, Asahi finally got the advice he wanted.

When you're with me, I'm sure you're always true.

When Asahi invited you to join him and the team on their weekly outing, you were delighted to be considered.

Unbeknownst to you, this was all an elaborate scheme among the third years to get the ace to confess to you.

“Okay but who even chose to go to the park?” Nishinoya whined, flopping dramatically against his bus seat partner, Tanaka.

“Relax, Noya. It’ll be fun!” You cooed, turning around and sticking your tongue out at him.

“Ehhh. Alright alright.” The libero replied in an amused tone, “oh look we’re here!”

The team all filed off of the bus and across the park, each member being engrossed in a new aspect of the nature, you decided to go off toward a sunflower field on a hill.

When I'm away, I wonder what you do.

“Guys this is it!” Asahi beamed, clearly giddy about his friends’ plan for success.

“Well, go catch up with them! We’ll be up in a few!” Suga replied, matching his excitement.

The ace ran happily up the hill, and through the field, scanning the area to find you.

You, however, had already taken heed to settle yourself among the flowers and in the field.

Asahi carefully trudged in the field, eager to find you and execute his plan.

There was no need to search, you had just been waiting to pounce on your friend.

I wonder why I'm sure you're always true.

Asahi broke into laughter, that was bright and bubbly, as you perked up behind two sunflowers, using them as googly eyes.

As you joined his laughter, the other third years watched in hopes of his wishes coming true.

“Haha! Geez, I love you.” Asahi says breathily, wiping a tear from his eye.

Always true…

Suga and Daichi almost physically facepalmed… nice going, Asahi.

“I- w- uh- i mean-“

“I- w- uh-“ you teased, grabbing both of his hands and planting a feather-light kiss on his lips.

“Well… he used the wrong method, but got the correct result.” Suga whispered to Daichi.

In which the captain replied, “S’like Hinata in math class.“

Suga’s eyes widened as he slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing at the tender moment. He pushed Daichi along with him and made his way toward the second years.

As you broke apart from the heartfelt moment, you felt your cheeks heat up quickly.

Did you really just do that??

Before you knew it, Asahi was trying his best to keep himself from losing it. He was snickering visibly, chest heaving and eyes squeezed shut.

“To think I had this whole pick up line, that Daichi picked out for me, and you just kiss me right when I’m up at the bat.” The ace said with a bit of a struggle.

“Oh please, tell me the, most likely shitty, pickup line.”

“You’re under arrest!” He cooed, poking at your shoulder, “for stealing my heart.”

“Pffffff- oh…. oh god… that, that was awful.”

And soon enough, your lovely duo exploited into amused laughter, still holding each other’s hands.

It seemed that laughter was the thing that had brought you two the closest together.

Whether it was the secret chuckles between your overly comedic matchmakers, or your own loud and proud belly laughs at each others’ shenanigans.

He wondered why.

And it was always you…

——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞———————

[illumilu]

there’s only one bed” - illumi zoldyck x reader

a/n: a very stereotypical cliche for fanfics, but, yk what? cringe makes the world go round. so here, have my drabbling of what would happen if you were to spend an unwanted night in the same hotel bed as the adultrio. i feel like i may have made this way too long again, but who cares?? this time it’s with illumi! aka loml ...

summary: after a lengthy car trip, you arrive at the hotel with illumi, but to your horror (wink wink), there’s only one bed. including: you dreaming abt him when he’s literally right in front of you (embarrassing). this is part two of a three-part series, with the adultrio. hisoka is already written and chrollo will be coming soon!

warnings: no particular trigger warnings, lowercase intended, a lot of fluff! and cuddling! only on your part though, since illumi is basically awkwardness personified... no nsfw <3

illumi zoldyck:

- the trip to the hotel had taken 6 hours. 6 hours in which you had fallen asleep multiple times, cramped your legs, somehow made every sleeping position dangerously uncomfortable, cracked your neck and twisted your back, possibly to the point of no return.

- for mr zoldyck, or rather, “illumi”, as he had instructed you to call him, the trip was no problem. his upbringing, which consisted of mainly torture, included staying awake for as long as a fortnight at a time. 6 hours may as well have been a few minutes. 

- “the silent son of the zoldycks” was his reputational nickname, or, rather, “lifeless koi fish”, as your friend, hisoka, enjoyed calling him. either way, illumi was not going to let a car ride tire him.

- when you had first met him, he had scared you. a lot. the entire “trained dangerous traumatised assassin” storyline was one that felt like a threat. you were undoubtedly taking a risk by working with him, but it was one you were willing to; it may have been twisted, but murder was your forte, and you were searching for a partner.

- over time, you had grown to be less intimidated by him.

- you were now colleagues with him, working on a new assassination.

- shockingly, planning murder took time, and who better to plan it with than the assassin himself? you had spent the past day on a “business trip”, paid for by illumi’s grandfather, where you sized up the area and familiarised yourself with yorknew.

- all for the big night.

- tonight was the day before the murder of the ten dons.

- illumi and kalluto would carry out the murder, while you made sure everything went smoothly, via a small mic attached to his clothes. the entire operation was based on trust, and would therefore be executed like clockwork.

- you had taken the necessary mental images and kept the targets in mind; all that was left was a night at a pre-booked hotel and then it would be go-time.

- you had assumed that the hotel would be high-class, with doormen, perhaps some marble flooring and pillars - it was the zoldycks who were paying, after all, and you knew they had money to spare. 

- “we’re here.” illumi stated blankly, face reflecting in the window. admittedly, he did look a little bit like a koi fish.

- you nudged past him to look out of the window, leaning over to get a good view.

- oh.

- it seemed you had made quite the overestimation. it was a simple, plain building with a few stories. no doormen or extravagance could be sighted.

- you supposed keeping a low profile was important, but the depressing accommodation was somehow making you wearier.

- the two of you didn’t exchange any conversation on the way up to your room, but you were used to that. 

- you and illumi had met around 5 months ago, and most of it had been comfortable silence. you hadn’t expected it to be like that - in all honesty, you had expected him to kill you - but illumi seemed... calm around you. 

- it was probably because you shared such an odd passion with him; the logistics of murder. you assumed it gave him a chance to loosen his harsh demeanour and enjoy himself. the both of you had worked on multiple murders together, focusing on theory and planning, but this was a huge assassination. nevertheless, you knew he could pull it off; illumi was smart, you had to give him that.

- finally, you arrived at your hotel room, sighing from the lengthy stairway winding up to your unnecessarily high room. you assumed it was for safety purposes, but for god’s sake; why did safety have to be so enervating?

- illumi pushed the door open, and you walked in with him. finally, you could catch some rest.

- except, you couldn’t. 

- a singular bed placed in the middle of the room.

- “why.” you thought to yourself tiredly. 

- you stood there silently, waiting for him to say something. 

- then, you remembered that he was illumi. he obviously wouldn’t see anything wrong with the situation. 

- the bastard.

- it didn’t help that he gave you no visible reaction when you stared at him with your face scrunched up expectantly, as if to ask what his plan was.

- “is there a problem, y/n?” illumi asked, his tone flat as usual.

- you took a deep, worn out breath, clearing your throat.

- after a bit, you shook your head. this was strictly professional. illumi wouldn’t do anything, because he was illumi. nothing would happen.this was an important night, where rest and a clear mind were essential. blame it on the fatigue, and nothing else. you were just exhausted. there was nothing else to it. nothing.

- “no. i’m just a little tired.” you dismissed.

- a silence skimmed past.

- “my grandfather... he often tends to be absentminded. occasionally, he forgets to do certain things, or plan them correctly, i suppose. you could say this is a prime example of such.”

- “zeno forgot another goddamn bed, hm?” you laughed nervously.

- illumi stared at you once again, blinking a few times, in a methodical manner, face neutral and robotic. you smiled awkwardly and remembered that he was not one to laugh at jokes. or anything, for that matter. 

- you wondered if he laughed at bloodshed. or maybe hisoka.

- “i’m going to... go to set up my stuff now.” 

- turning your back to illumi, you winced at the uncomfortable air. even after all your time with him, you never learnt to stop trying to lighten the mood. the mood was literally just always unnatural, in some way. that was another one of illumi’s specialties.

- after some time, in which you had finalized tomorrow's plan and each changed into comfortable clothes, you watched illumi tie his hair up from across the room. 

- his hair had always fascinated you. 

- you had always wanted to touch it. honestly, even when you had first met him, apart from his magnetic eyes, you had been drawn to his hair. you imagined it felt like silk sheets, caressing over one’s hands as smoothly as honey. you were glad he grew it out; in fact, upon seeing his teenage photos, you had laughed so hard you ended up getting a nosebleed from hitting your face. illumi had been left in confusion for a while.

- you realized how random you sounded. why were you reminiscing so much? 

- shaking yourself back to your senses, you admired as he artfully twisted his hair into a loose bun, strands of hair cupping his elegant, pale face.

- what a beautiful koi fish.

- most people couldn’t compute that illumi had true, human feelings. after all, it would be hard to believe a man like him felt anything. but, of course, he did, unhealthily so. he channeled all his trauma and hurt into his villainy, and received happiness from his villainy, anger from his villainy and occasionally fear from his villainy.  however, there was one emotion he could never grasp. he hated himself for it, but soon realised he could manipulate his hatred into villainy, too.

- illumi was a man who could manipulate anyone or anything he wished. 

- except himself.

- internally, he had always felt at a loss whenever he confronted his emotions. but, after he had met you, something had changed. as he caught you staring at his hair through the hotel mirror, he couldn’t help but feel something small stir inside of his stomach. not evil, not happiness, not hatred, not anger. perhaps, friendship?

- this tinge of new emotion inside of him initially made him feel uneasy, but that worry morphed into giddiness, a childish high buzzing somewhere in his core.

- eventually, he stood up to face you and suggested going to sleep. you checked the time on the wall clock. 8 in the evening. well, illumi had always been particular. you agreed that rest was essential for tomorrow.

- you hesitantly took the left side, and, upon seeing your choice, illumi followed to lie on the right.

- after a few minutes, you looked back at him, noticing illumi fell asleep abnormally quickly. you furrowed your brow quizzically at the rock-like manner he was in. frankly, he looked like a plank when he slept. you almost laughed, but held it in for his sake. 

- he had a very specific sleep schedule, as did the other zoldycks. he could go to sleep immediately at his own command, and stayed perfectly still as he did so. he woke up at 5 in the morning every single day, without fail, almost like he had some sort of alarm clock planted in his body. 

- looking at him lying there like a block, you smiled softly. illumi was quite the conundrum to you. you often speculated whether he ever got what he deserved; love, affection, anything really. you knew about his past from when he had told you nonchalantly, within a few weeks of your acquaintance. you always hoped he’d find someone to love him, but doubted whether people would bother looking beyond his bleak surface, and into his excellent mind. lost in thought, you found yourself getting drowsier. you also fell asleep generally quickly, limbs aching from the stupid car ride.

- the night passed.

- illumi was the first to wake up at 5am, stoic and in the same place he had fallen asleep in. no surprise there.

- but you. 

- that was the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.

- he did not expect you to be lying on him lazily, snuggling into his body, arm and leg comfortably wrapped around his side. you were breathing lightly, face burrowing onto the ridge of his chest.

- i suppose you didn’t expect to be there either, which he realized, but the point still remained.

- why were on you his chest.

- “y/n.”

- no answer.

- illumi could have pushed you away; in fact, he could have blown you 983 metres away (his personal record). 

- but he didn’t.

- it wasn’t the thought of disturbing your comfort that stopped illumi from hurling you into oblivion. it wasn’t the fact that he explicitly enjoyed it, either. he remembered that the mission was today; if he were to wake you, and you hadn’t slept enough, you wouldn’t be at your upmost performance.

- the murder of the ten dons was his priority, right? yes. it was. there was no doubt about it. that was the only and final reason he wouldn’t wake you. end of discussion. 

- so, illumi stayed there, waiting for you to wake up and get off of him. 30 minutes passed, and he watched you for every single one.

- hard as it was to admit, watching you rise and fall in sync with his chest made the spark of emotion in his core grow fervently. what had that foreign feeling been? yesterday, he had settled at friendship, but now he wasn’t so sure.

- you looked so peaceful while you slept. less confusing. he remembered the time you had accidentally complimented his hair when the two of you had first met. he had found that amusing. he remembered the time you got a nosebleed from hitting your face too hard - it was after laughing at his teenage pictures, which perplexed him greatly. he remembered the times you two had sat together, working and theorizing on missions, accidentally meeting eyes or brushing hands. one time, you had dipped one of his pins in ink and scratched his name on some paper “for fun”. you had handed it to him and, for some unknown reason, the scrap was still tucked safely in his wallet. your unrivaled intelligence, your idiotic sense of humour, your smile, your lack of common sense, your twinkling eyes that so ironically contrasted his, everything. everything crossed his mind while he lay there.

- illumi found it strange how people remembered the oddest things at the oddest times. 

- why did he think of that now, as you were sleeping? even worse, on the day of a meticulously planned assassination. why couldn’t he manipulate his emotions to stop fluctuating around you so much?

- it all frustrated him.

- why had he let you call him by “illumi” so quickly? mr zoldyck would have been fine. and why had he been so lenient with your antics? no one else got to touch his pins. why did he feel like keeping you on his chest forever, and keeping you safe? most importantly, why was he thinking about you so much?

- his contemplation came to a halt when he heard you stir a little in your sleep.

-  finally, you’d wake up and he could forget about this entire problem.

- he watched you, expecting you to get up soon.

- you began shuffling around, brushing against his chest, and soon your eyes fluttered open, hazy and glazed over. it almost seemed like you were still in a dream, in some sort of half-sleep.

- “huh?” you whispered quietly, still lying on illumi. you looked up lazily, meeting eyes with him.

- “oh... i get it...” you hummed quietly, falling back onto his chest.

- he furrowed his brows.

- “why are you here?” you hugged him from the side, softly laughing at your ridiculous dream. he tensed up at you embracing him, but soon relaxed after realizing what was going on.

- illumi looked at you, one eyebrow raised. did you... think you were dreaming?

- to be honest, he found it kind of entertaining, the way you were fawning over him. if he let you stay there, he could figure out a lot of things about his newly found emotion. it could be worth it. just not today.

- illumi came back to his senses fairly quickly; you were obviously awake now, so why couldn’t you get off of him already?

- “y/n.”

- “mmm? what? so serious all the damn timeee, illum-” 

- “you aren’t dreaming. get off.”

- SHIT

- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

- you jolted off him immediately, staring down at illumi zoldyck. 

- the real illumi zoldyck.

- oh my god what. what. what. what.

- every nerve in your body began to panic, and, in the stress of trying to find the correct words to say, you just ended up making some sort of incomputable “aaaahhh” noise and jumping off the bed.

-  illumi had finally gotten up and was now staring concernedly at you.

- an awkward pause.

- “let me just start by saying i did not-”

- “y/n. we have more pressing priorities for today. i don’t care.”

- illumi zoldyck had lied. even to himself. he did care. and so what if he ignored it until it festered so intensely inside of him he couldn’t do anything but tell you? he cared about you. and he knew it.

- “ok. you’re right. you’re right! illumi. one question. was i like that the whole night?”

- “i don’t know. i woke up at 5 and you were there.”

- you looked at the clock. it was 6am? what had he been doing for an hour? you opened your mouth to ask but closed it soon after. you recalled your thoughts about illumi growing up void of affection, or love, or appreciation. 

- some questions were best left unanswered.

- “how long was i... mumbling like that?”

- “a few minutes.”

- you gulped. there were a few things you had to come to terms with. shutting your eyes firmly, you apologised profusely, annoyed at yourself.

- “y/n. i don’t care.” he lied once again.

- “you’re right!” you rambled - “the ten dons are today! it doesn’t matter what i said... none of it matters, we can both just forget it!”

- you sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone.

- “so all we need to do is go over the plan one last time, get kalluto, and then we’ll carry it out, and soon enou-”

- “stop it. you’re wasting time. just go and get ready.”

- you sighed and smiled weakly. on the inside, you were sure your soul had died a little.

- while you left to change, overcome by embarrassment, illumi lingered by the bed for a few seconds. he tried to push down whatever he was currently feeling, but it was no use. the feeling in his core had risen up to his throat, a burst of something waiting to leave his lips. 

- for the first time in a while, illumi zoldyck smiled. not at murder, or at power, or fulfillment, or achievement, or even villainy.

- illumi zoldyck had smiled at the thought of you.

- let’s just say illumi had trouble focusing on his mission. 

i am honestly so fucking sorry you had to read that whole thing. the way i am literally in love with illumi zoldyck and ended up writing 2857 words bye bye bye i’m so sorry!!! PLZ what?? anyways,, i feel like i heavily underwrote hisoka now, since i did such a prologue thing for this! honestly i feel like this one came out a little boring, im sorry again AAAAA just agh; chrollo should b coming when i have time but i have exams rn so idkkkk hh

either way, likes or reblogs or whatever are super appreciated, but don’t feel forced to or anything! either way, i feel like no one’s gonna see this with my reach LMAOO but anyways thank you for reading, if you made it here! feedback and tips for writing on here are always helpful :)

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[wickedpact]

your regularly scheduled ttt Thots

first main thought: sad. sad sad sad. poor achilles

second main thought: i was thinking abt this as i went to sleep but the difference in 'what an author wants to communicate with a piece of media' and 'what an audience wishes to take from a piece of media' are two different things that ive never thought of much before.

i mean when i read ttt issues, what i want is Lore. i want to learn about the characters, i want to see what makes them tick, i want to learn about their relationships with each other and see how they grow over the years. but thats not necessarily what the authors want to explore with their stories-- like, the nicky story tells you actually very little about nicky as a person or nicky and joe's relationship (at least it doesnt tell you anything we dont already know), and thats not really seemingly the point of the story itself.

but anyways.

ACHILLLESSSSSS

i was honestly expecting smth very different from this one, primarily bc the blurb mentioned andy 'returning' after leaving achilles and i thought that meant her returning to the squad. and bc booker became immortal around the time andy was with achilles, i thought this story would be about them meeting and the obvious clash they would have over andy mourning her relationship (that ended due to her immortality, that she had to let go of due to her immortality) and booker refusing to end his relationships bc he doesnt have the experience there that andy had.

but 'returning' meant returning to her and achilles' house and her finding out how she died, which. rip. i just kind of assumed he died of old age.

AND IT SUCKS bc she left specifically so he wouldnt get hurt, and all she ended up rlly doing is leaving him to die violently alone

i was kind of upset we didnt rlly learned much abt their relationship (what did andy love abt achilles? what did he love abt her? what did they spend their days doing after they retired?) i did love the little bits showing how the two were different, especially in regards to how his life as a runaway slave affected him (and didnt affect andy)

something something andy's immortality granted her the confidence to set aside her weapons so thoroughly for so long, while achilles' past as a slave and respective mortality didnt allow him to be so hasty

but anyways the fact that andy wanted peace so bad-- i mean, like ive said before, we kind of see some of the worst of andy (well, maybe not the worst worst of her) even within the movie. but regardless of how much andy is tired of humanity's shit and how much she likes to swing her axe, she's still a person who wants peace and quiet and safety at the end of the day like anyone else.

its one of a million things i like abt andy. she can be a vengeful god and a doting mother and a thousands-year-long mourning daughter and a tired mercenary & on top of all of those Layers(TM) she can be Just A Person Who Wants Peace. her multitudes are wild to think abt sometimes, how many lives she's led

'but the older she gets the harder she finds conjuring their love in her memory when she comes here. all thats left is the hate and rage that destroyed this place. and that will last forever' 😭

tbh this issue is kind of a monument to how much the immortals lose to bigotry & hatred

and speaking of, the nicky one was alright. like i said you dont really... . learn much abt nicky or joeandnicky. i mean

1. nicky misses joe when hes gone. shocker

2. nicky kills violent racists. double shocker

3. all the violence and hatred nicky witnesses over this period bothers him. huge shocker!

i mean nothing it goes over is a surprise and (unpopular opinion here) im not usually a fan of shmoopy romantic stuff. joe's speech is a huge exception to me and i think its bc the speech is Romance With A Point. that speech isnt just a bunch of flowery sentiments, but it actually tells the viewer quite a bit about joe and nicky's relationship.

(i remember in one of luca's interviews he mentioned that, while reading the tog script, he wondered what a 900 year long relationship would be like, but the answer to his question was pretty much all in the van speech.)

also i think ive mentioned this before, but i tend not to like joenicky fics where joe or nicky have a Big Speech for the other bc pretty much all other romantic sentiment pales in comparison to the van speech for me. and nicky's letter in this story is the same way for me. you can read the whole thing here if you want (the rest of the dialogue within this story is mostly just confederates being racist and nicky being like 'thats nice' before he kills them lmao)

i dunno the whole thing is like. im so sad and lonely. and im killing a bunch of people and that sucks. and im so lonely. and sad. did i mention i was killing people. the sun is mocking me. these clouds symbolize the storm in my heart. im so lonely. and also sad.

i dunno, it didnt unzip me. tho i like how the wine was spiked with that sweet 'joe as the sun' symbolism, love that for us

its also kind of ironically Another TTT Story dealing with 'nicky is killing a bunch of people and hes having a crisis over it'. ive said before, im not a big fan of nicky angst personally + the fact that there isnt much here to actually learn abt nicky + the fact i wasnt huge for nicky's Poetic Liberties + the lack of a solo joe to match this solo nicky kind of made me 'eh' abt it. it wasnt poorly written or anything! i just wasnt ham for it

like with the other ones (moon landing one for instance) even when there was stuff i wasnt huge for, there was other stuff i liked, like most of us didnt care for the depiction of joe and nicky's argument in that story, but the stuff with andy and joe arguing about the moon was cute, and the stuff with nicky and Booker's Relationship Advice was cute. but for this one it was mostly just the letter. and i wasnt huge for the letter, haha

also. mutton chop man

god did this to me bc i bitched too much abut the goatee. he saw my weakness and punished me for it

BUT HOLY FUCK DID YALL SEE THE SHAKESPEARE SONNET QUOTE IN THERE???? ? SONNET 43 BABEY EVERY DAY WE GROW CLOSER TO GODS LIGHT

[ccelinewritess]

the distance between us

pairing- draco malfoy x reader

word count- 9.7k

summary- the first time draco uses the muggle post system, it goes so terribly wrong, and a letter falls into the hands of a girl who was never supposed to see it, a muggle at that.

warnings- curse words, ptsd, anxiety/ panic attacks, depression mention of death, murder, blood and burns aswell as insomia, seperation anxiety (?) and my grammar.if these may trigger you, i suggested not reading.

a/n- this took me a while to get out, sry abt that. the reader was set to live in a canadian town called kelowna, british columbia. it takes place in readers grade 11/12 and dracos 6/7 year. i hope it’s not to self inserted, and you guys can enjoy and relate to it. big thank you to @dracodear for the help on this, love you! also thanks to everyone who left owl name suggestions, all were awesome and i ended up going with @winnsmills suggestion ‘noctua’ ! tumblrs been acting weird, so i hope it lets me post the whole thing. letters are in italics. also please note, this is off the movies timeline! i tried to fit in as many details as possible but some didn’t make it.

-

the town was widespread. wineries and mountains everywhere, the okanagan lake splitting it down the middle, reconnecting the cities halves by a bridge. little snow and tons of rain. jeep wranglers in every colour roaring around into unholy hours of the night, bustling with life yet all to lonely at times. but hey, that’s kelowna for you.

rain was running down the windows of y/ns most boring class, last period biology. she knew she should be paying attention. she had a high gpa to maintain, and couldn’t afford to fail another class besides french. the last five minutes of blabbering ended after what felt like a year.

‘you are dismissed, ill see you all monday, have a good weekend’ and with that everyone rose, heading to the parking lot as fast as possible in an attemp to dodge traffic. despite pouring rain, the air was hot, and on the ride home y/ns mind raced over every single assignment she had to complete over the next two days, while her hands tapped the steering wheel.

‘english essay, math review, history paper, business management graph’ she muttered under her breath. the town was busy, many students often blew off class to go shopping, or hit a movie, or smoke weed, the possibilities were endless. her house was cool compared to outside, and empty. no one was home, not that it was a surprise to the girl, people weren’t usually home, siblings gone to university, and parents working absurd amounts.

something caught her eye on the counter, an envelope, an ordinary seeming one, but absolutely covered in small pictured stamps with ‘england’ underneath each one. eighteen of them, all different. she knew shouldn’t open it, so she didn’t. at first. but it was irresistible. there was a return address written in the smallest writing she’d ever seen. wogshell, no, wiltshire? she took it to her room, and locked the door before ripping it open. she didn’t want the one time she had something intresting going on to be interrupted by whoever might show up.

her mouth fell open at every line of the same scroll. who was snape? why was this draco boy sending him a letter? he didn’t need his help to kill who? what the fuck was an unbreakable vow and why shouldn’t snape sign it? why was his mum going to see snape? who was the dark lord and why did he pick draco for a task? what kind of name is dumbledore?

what she already knew was confirmed- this letter was most definetly not for her. but newly- she opened a letter from a potential murderer or maybe it was a prank, a sick prank if it was one.

so instead she crafted up quite the response, whoever wrote this was either hysterical or in distress, and needed some sort of company- she thought, atleast.

-

it had been thirteen days, why wasn’t the letter back yet? the owl still couldn’t fly even about the house without damaging itself further. maybe using the muggle post system was a mistake. but better have it land into the hands of a muggle, who would likely throw it out, than a wizard who would know a death eater would soon be wondering around hogwarts.

as if on que, the door bell rang and echoed through the empty manor. on the porch sat an envelope, with only one stamp, his name in the middle and another he didn’t recognize in the corner. shit, this couldn’t be good. his eye caught the stamp. canada? fuck, this was supposed to go to cokeworth not bloody canada. no one was home so he opened it right there in the foyer.

hello, draco.

i am not snape- nor do i know who snape is. i am also very unfimilar with some of the vocabulary you used. dark lord? unbreakable vow? you seem to have quite the situation going on, if i read correctly. im not exactly stupid, but i do know that this letter was most definitely not supposed to be in my possession. i didn’t know who to send it to, id send it back to you, but you probably don’t want a copy of your own letter. i also know you likely have enough on your plate, but if you’d like someone to talk to im only half a world away, have no sort of schedule and am a good listener, well reader in this case. good luck with whatever task you’ve mentioned. p.s. you had about seventeen stamps to many, first time sending a letter? unfortunate fate, huh ? what kind of name is snape and what the heck is a dumbledore? i suppose it’s none of my business, knowing you likely won’t respond, but if you do i wrote my address on the front. have a good day/ night/ whatever time it is wherever you are.

y/n l/n

tears were welling in dracos eyes, he was floored, in a good and bad way. his task was already going downhill. the letter he sent snape had fallen into the hands of a muggle, who did not throw the letter away, but responded. and snape was likely going to bine himself into the task through the unbreakable vow, which draco was more than able to complete. he wouldn’t have been chosen if he wasn’t, right?

not only had she responded, she offered him help, well distant company, to a stranger who obviously had quite a few problems and she clearly had no regard for her own safety. he couldn’t tell her about the wizarding world. not that he could tell her about anything, she could be lying. he had a task to focus on, he couldn’t write her back.

and that was true- at the time. he had no intent of writing the girl back. and yet he found himself reading the 201 words over and over, running his hands across the paper, expecting them to fade away as he wiped. counting and recounting. he surely couldn’t talk to any of the twats at hogwarts, maybe a stranger could help numb the pain. and as long as he didn’t tell anyone- she couldn’t get hurt, she was to far.

draco was packed for hogwarts, the response at the bottom of the trunk, underneath his clothes. he’d just have to get to the damn school, then he could write all he wanted- without his parents knowledge or ridicule. his mind jumbled together what he was going to say while his friends rambled on. the train pulled up to the castle after dreadful hours and he could barely sit still during the opening feast. his thoughts did falter though, when dumbledore gave his speech, he felt guilty- the shame of his family weighing on his shoulders. he looked around, all his classmates staring in adoration at a man who would be dead ten months from now, and they were sitting in the same room as his killer.

the singular room was nice, he knew it wasn’t for lounge, but for plots of death.

before he began he started making promises to himself. if i get behind on the plan ill won’t write, if snape notices anything about it, ill stop. the list went on and on.

he couldn’t put his pen down, the words continued to fly out the end, was he oversharing?

dear y/n

my deepest apologies that my last letter found it’s way to you. im sure you didn’t expect whatever you may have perceived from it. honestly, i don’t know how it arrived all the way over there. im almost positive you have better things to do than listen to my problems, and i know you had no control over the fact it arrived, but i ask you to please not share this information with anyone. i am unsure if i will take up your offer of amity, if you were serious that is. im at school now, so if you’d like to respond, not that you have to- you can send letters back with my owl, it’ll be faster (and i won’t have to worry about stamps- thanks for the tip by the way)

draco malfoy 

and with that noctua was off into the night, and he could only hope that it would make it to her.

-

droll was running down y/ns chin and she was caught in a dream. suddenly a vigorous tapping on the window pulled her into consciousness, the sight of owl knocking her backwards in a scare. a crash sounded, if the tapping didn’t wake anyone up, that surely did. she almost considered just trying to ignore it, until she noticed a letter tied to its neck and reluctantly opened the window. she’d never seen an owl in real life before, but was aware from school that they weren’t exactly the kindest of creatures. this one just perched on the window while she removed the new enevelope, no stamps in sight. just a neatly printed address, and his in the corner.

from the new letter she learned even more- this wasn’t a prank, draco was a real person, was still in school, and whatever the first misplaced letter contained was true. he had some sort of task and didnt want help, but that was all. so with what she could, she wrote another response. it took an hour and she wasn’t exactly sure what she had written by mid morning.

draco

you’d be quite suprised actually, it gets lonely over here. i still haven’t exactly deciphered your original note, so if you would like to help me understand i think i’d be ready. and no worries about me, my lips are sealed. what is an unbreakable vow, im curious? you go to boarding school? and owls, really? what the hell is up with that? im pretty sure it’s illegal to own one here, but we are countries away, so perhaps it’s different all the way over there. send whatever you want. i do not- by the way- have anything better to do in the slightest.

y/n

-

he continued to write throughout the month of september, which bled into october before he knew it. he was avoiding questions about the task, just wanting someone to talk to. it wasn’t easy, she was curious, which draco couldn’t exactly be mad at her for that since he continued to write her, accepting the distant friendship that was forming.

he was learning a lot about her aswell. besides french, which he informed her he spoke fluently numerous times, she was a very good student. she was single, he didn’t remember how that came up but made a note in his mind- he couldn’t date her, nor did he know enough about her to be properly involved.

she read a lot of books, sappy romances mostly, couldn’t cook anything deemed edible by anyone, and her favourite colour was green, he smirked when reading that for the first time. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her future, just not a doctor like her parents wanted.

-

y/n was sitting in english as her teacher reviewed about univeristy application requirements. only next year they would be getting accepted and denied from their dream schools. she’d spent years dreaming of it, university, and yet somehow a boy half way around the was racing through her mind. she felt horrible about it, the small crush. it was incredibly selfish, falling for a boy with so much going on, he certainly didn’t need her as anything more than a friend to talk to, but he was good with his words, and making her feel important too. her dismissal came and so did a classmate, approaching confident and cocky.

‘hey, l/n’ he said, a smirk on his face

‘oh, uh hey, will’

‘what are doing tonight?’ her mind went blank, any excuse, come on, say something

‘i have plans’ wow real specific, great job, y/n

‘like what’

‘fish funeral, real important stuff, my family is just devastated’ her voice was clearly sarcastic and that was all before she walked right out. no she didn’t exactly have plans, but waiting for dracos owl provided much more company than any date could have. the sight of dracos owl flying towards the pre-opened window was somewhat relieving, she didn’t know why, just the fact that he had not failed yet, and was still out there was nice. she hadn’t had this much company. since last year at least, when her supposed best friend started ghosting her because of some petty shit.

thankfully noctua ad gotten quite good at being discreet when delivering the letters. of all the things on y/ns junior year bucket list, explaining to her parents that she had befriended a british boy with an owl who flyed into her room while her neighbours had a clear view, wasn’t one. she also began keeping a bowl of water under her bed for the owl to drink when it arrived, knowing it couldn’t have been easy travelling back and forth.

y/n

im not fully sure you want to know the depth, yet you seem to want me to corrupt you with my villain with a task baggage. i suppose it couldn’t hurt if i told you about the unbreakable vow. it’s like a promise or a bond, but if you break it then you die. if you can stomach that i may be able to tell you more. how far away do you reckon we are?

draco

-

draco wasn’t falling behind too far, but his first attemp had failed, and panic attacks were taking up most his time. he never had any, at least not this bad until this year. at least once a day he would start sweating, no matter how cold he was, unable to control his breathing or tears, feeling like the walls were caving in upon him.

that is, besides writing y/n as much as he could. apparently she was being honest, she had no schedule of any sort besides going to school. he hated to say, but he was becoming attached, he didn’t exactly know how either, but everytime he recieved a letter a small weight was lifted from his shoulders, even just when he read it.

noctua was doing the weekly, almost daily round at breakfast with the other owls and draco watched with anticipation as a letter dropped on his lap and owl on his shoulder. he tried to conceal the letter into his robes but pansy had taken matters into her own hands. likely jealous that she’d spent collectively around six hours with him the whole year, and he never talked to her like he used to.

‘ou draco whats this’ twirling the envelope between her hands. the letter had no name, no stamp, only a small heart drawing in the corner.

‘hands off parkinson’ he said while taking the letter back. ‘a letter from my mother, if you must know’ he said knowing that neither his mother or father had written him anything, despite having all the time to do so.

he got up and left the second he was done, not wanting to draw snapes suspicion about who could possibly be more important than working on this task.

he rushed to his room, desperate for more of her words. he tried to picture her voice in his head, but had to remind himself she wasn’t british nor was she from southern america.

draco,

so you just die if you break the promise? intresting. it’s not as hard to stomach as you seem to think, very unique tradition i suppose. you are not a villain draco, you haven’t told me much about it but your to good of a person to have picked any of this for yourself. i calculated when we you were home, seven thousand three hundred something, i don’t know where your fancy boarding school where you have owls for pets is, so it may be further. im ready whenever you are.

y/n

her letter was relieving for him aswell, even in the slightest it helped, but she deserved some sort of answer for helping him take his mind off the task for a couple minutes. he could tell if she wasn’t scared off already, this would do it.

y/n

if you are sure, here it is. dumbledore is my headmaster, the dark lord is a very powerful wizard, and snape is my professor. if i don’t kill dumbledore before july, he will kill me and my family, if i can’t complete the task, snape will kill him under terms of an unbreakable vow. im not a very good villain that’s for sure, my first attemp failed, and my classmate is out cold. i understand if you dont want to write to me anymore, just don’t tell anyone about this, please.

dm.

-

the only words to describe the feeling that overwhelmed her senses as she read were devastation and shock. tears pooled in her eyes as she tried to imagine herself with that much responsibility to wildhold until july. another detail that caught her eye, wizard? what did he mean by wizard? is that the word for dictator in england? certainly he wasn’t talking about the wizards she read about in storybooks as a child. her hand shook slightly and she debated mentioning it.

draco

you’re silly if you think i’d stop writing you. you need company now more than ever. please don’t hold things back from your letters, you deserve someone to talk to. that is quite the situation, im sorry if i pushed you, you do have enough on your shoulders and i want to help you as much as i can. i hate to ask, but you mentioned ‘wizards’ and i am a bit confused.

all my love

yn

-

initially, draco went into shock. he knew he was probably oversharing, but didn’t expect to slip up in that way. he begrudgingly admitted; knowing that if this went badly he would likely be banished from the wizarding world, which didn’t seem like such a horrible punishment to him anymore. and yet she was fascinated, by the coins he sent her, the subjects he learned- which she compared to her own much less exciting ones, and everything he told her about it. he could now talk to her about much more, since both his secrets were now out in the open to her. he told her about the about the houses, and they both agreed she would probably be in hufflepuff, well he thought so, her kind and accepting nature, and she didn’t know enough to disagree. and for the first time in the long time he was seeing things differently, completely diminishing the rude behaviour he often displayed towards the house.

she even sent him a picture, the first time he ever saw her face. a large smile spread across her beautiful features, she seemed to be laughing. eyes glistening in the sun even prettier than he could have imagined. he slept with it under his pillow, and could stare at the still image for hours. no it didn’t move around, but he couldnt care less. he only had one picture of himself in his possession and he was young, about four. she was facinated by the moving image, his blonde hair and attitude shining right through. he would owl his mother for a more recent one, but didn’t want to explain why.

the letters were helping him, but the task wasn’t advancing. his second attempt had failed, he was caught sneaking into slughorns party, and harry was onto him. they were also causing him doubt. say they did get the cabinet fixed, he couldn’t see himself killing dumbledore anymore, the more he talked to her he realized he couldn’t be a killer, as cold as he was to some people, but he had to, didnt he?

most importantly every letter she sent gave him a sense of hope. that the second this is over he could move. away from voldemort, and potter, his parents even, england in whole. perhaps not to canada, but it could be a change, half way across the world with the girl who was helping him stay alive through his letters. he just needed to stay alive long enough too see her.

the seasons changed around draco, but his room stayed the same. hot from mysterious potions, for himself and some for dumbledore, he had not had much hope after the wine, though. it was lonely, not that he’d like y/n here, he’d much rather be there, all the way across the world.

-

may came in a blur, and finals were creeping up. one week y/n sat at her desk, every night, waiting for a letter that didn’t come. on the fifth letterless day she cried. not exactly knowing why, it wasn’t her that had much of a reason to cry, but dracos company had filled her lonely life up with light of its own, leaving it darker than it was before she saw the first letter. she was silly to be so attached and silly to expect him to reciprocate the feelings she had proclaimed in the last one she sent, and should have expected him to stop eventually. so she continued on with school, finding it a bit easier to concentrate now that a draco sized whole was missing from her brain, and her heart aswell.

the next week, though, a letter came, very appreciated by y/n as the whole other universe, british boy forgetting thing wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

y/n

im sorry for not writing, the classmate i mentioned all those months ago woke from the curse, and the potter twat hexed me with a spell id never heard of before. i would have tried to contact with you but i couldn’t exactly trust what my brain was planning on writing, and the cuts are still a bit sore. the cabinets fixed, but even if everything works out okay i won’t be writing very much at all. i’ll be home in july, but the manor will be infested with death eaters and i can’t let you get hurt. thank you for everything l/n.

draco

it stung a little, knowing that the empty feeling the girl just experienced would be more frequent, he didn’t mention anything about what she had said, and that this could be the last time she ever heard from him if he didn’t kill dumbledore. in hindsight, practically telling her she loved him in a letter wasn’t what he needed, she knew that.

-

he left out the fact that he the spell put a him in a huge emotinal draught. he was exhausted constantly, crying even more than before. the cuts were sore, so he wasn’t holding everything back.

the last month of school came and went all to fast for dracos liking, and death eaters now roamed around the castle, causing havoc where ever they could. his trunk had been shurken so small it looked like a small muggle toy he put into his pocket easily. the dark mark that was stretched across his left arm was now hanging in the gray sky, and the headmaster was no where to be seen. he paced anxiously around a vacant corridor until he heard a pop in the astronomy tower. he didn’t think people could apparate into hogwarts, it would have made his job much easier.

‘harry, get snape, i need snape now’ he seemed exhausted, maybe this wouldn’t be as hard

‘sir im going to sit you down okay, and then ill go get madam pomf-‘

‘severus, harry, I need severus now, go get him and talk to no one else’ he said in a shallow yet somewhat urgent and angry tone.

draco waited for footsteps to disappear, before whipping the door open with his wand already ready.

‘oh hello, draco, nice to see you on this fine evening’ he said nonchalantly, leaning his weight against the wall.

‘EXPELLIARMUS’ draco boomed, successfully disarming the man without counter attempts before glancing around to see a second broom

‘who else is here?’ he said sounding confident but feeling the opposite

‘i could ask you the same question, acting alone are you? you don’t seem supported’

‘no, there are death eaters in your school tonight, and i got them here’ he snarked ‘they’ll be up, any minute now, their fighting down below. i’ve got a job to do’

‘well done boy, if you don’t mind me asking a few questions, before you get on with it, im very intrested’ was he kidding? he knew draco was about to kill him right? wanting to stall, and not fully wanting to kill him he nodded his head yes.

‘you seem scared to act until they join you

‘im not scared, you should be scared’ he snarled, unable to contain the fear in his voice any longer any longer

‘oh draco’ he sighed ‘while we wait for your friends arrive, care to explain how you smuggled them in here? i never imagined it possible, especially not by a student’

‘i had to mend the broken cabinet that no ones used for years, there’s another one in borgin and burkes. montague got stuck in told everyone stories about it, how he could sometimes hear what was going on in the shop and sometimes hear hogwarts like a passage, and i was the only one who discovered what it meant. not even borgin, not you either, i did it right under your nose, you didn’t realize anything’ he said

‘you are right, i didn’t know that. i do- on the other hand, know that you aren’t a killer’

he raised his wand a little higher, feeling wheezy and as though his legs would give in any second

‘how you know that, I’ve done despicable things, you wouldn’t even be able to fathom’

it was dumbledore’s time to pause, glancing up at the sky and looking around the room before continuing

‘draco i know you almost killed katie bell and ron weasley. you’ve been trying to kill me all year, forgive me for saying this, but they’ve been very feeble attempts. to be honest ive wondered wheather your heart has truly been in it’

‘it has, and if you knew why didnt you stop me’

‘snape has been watching over you on my orders’

‘ it’s not on your orders, he promised my mother-‘

‘ofcourse he would tell you that, but it happens to be that i trust professor snape’

‘your losing it then, he’s a double agent, he isn’t working for you- he’s been trying to get in on the action all year, helping me and all. doesn’t matter now- he probably doesn’t even know they are here yet, he will wake up tomorrow and no longer be the dark lords favourite, he will be nothing compare to me’ confidence was building within him

‘very gratifying, we all like being recognized for our hard work, but, draco?im standing here wandless and weak, unable to defend myself, and you have not made any move to kill me, dont blame me for believing you will not, but let’s discuss your options’

‘my options’ he laughed ‘im standing here with a wand, about to kill you’

‘oh dear boy, if you were going to kill me you would have when you disarmed me, not stayed for a little chat’

‘i haven’t got any options, don’t you understand, i have to kill you, or he will kill me’

‘okay, if you don’t want to join the order with your mother where we could protect you, i only have one more question’

‘better hurry, theyre on their way’ he almost laughed which was quickly replaced when Dumbledore said his next words.

‘who is y/n l/n’ at that a tear fell down dracos face, and he lowered his wand almost completely

‘i-i don’t know who that is, odd l-last words’ he stuttered

‘draco dont play dumb now, not after we discovered you are very intelligent. we left some of the security measures from last year that Umbridge enabled, and I couldn’t help but notice hundreds of letters flowing to and from her. i looked into student files, ilvermornies too, nothing, id never heard the name, a muggle i presumed. but of all the things, that had me the most confused. i couldn’t figure out why you would be contacting her, so i did some meddling’

‘WHAT DID YOU DO’

‘fiesty all the sudden, are you? i felt bad after opening this, it seemed very personal, and i probably should given it too you sooner, but i was a bit preoccupied double checking my drinks and all’ dumbledore said handing him the letter.

draco

how is the cabinet coming? it’s raining even more here than usual, all day and night. and don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. you are just a kid, you shouldn’t be forced to be a hero. you are protecting so many people right now, but i don’t need any. you have given my life enough light in the last few months than i ever recall, and im so thankful that letter came to me. i wish you were here with me right now, but i know you can’t be, so just stay alive, okay?

y/n

more tears fell, he hated being so weak at the mention of her, crying before he completed the blessing his father and bellatrix considered the task to be.

‘she’s right, draco, you deserve another chance’

he was speechless, and could tell Dumbledore knew he found his weakness.

‘i always pictured you and pansy, never in a million years imagined you to be in a relationship with a muggle’

‘no matter who does it, your about to be killed, and im not here to discuss my love life am i?’

‘so you do love her?’ before draco could even think he heard a door open and raised his wand, hiding the letter faster than he had ever moved.

‘shut up, they will kill her’ he said quietly and desperately

in walked fenrir greyback, yaxley, and bellatrix. they made banter of their own, but her words replayed. he couldn’t do it.

‘go on draco’ his aunt whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

‘DO IT, DO IT BOY’ she yelled, in a high pitched and annoying voice

he felt a strong arm over his chest, pushing him aside, and he saw the whoosh of snapes robes and an already pleading dumbledore

‘severus, please’

‘AVADA KEDAVRA’ snape shouted, a green flash producing from the end of his wand, hitting the old man square in the chest. draco rushed over to the edge, watching him fall. it was a long way down.

-

the rain had sudsided, sunlight leaking into her room during the day. watching the sky at night, failing to find constellations he described many times to her. her wardrobe was mostly untouched, remaining in pyjamas most of the week. the odd time she did leave, she saw her old friends walking and laughing out her car window. eating and socializing felt like a chore, and she hadn’t communicated with the boy since may. he could be dead, she didn’t know. there was no death on the ‘muggle’ news, and draco wasn’t on the top wanted list, not that he likely would be on the television all the way over here. he could be fine, in wiltshire, going to dinner parties and holding balls. or maybe, he too, was sitting in his room staring at the ceiling for days on end. she had now hung the picture of a young draco by her desk, not needing to worry about anyone seeing. her siblings were once again home, but out living their lives so much that it still felt like they were gone. for the first time she noticed his scroll on the back.

‘i was four when this was taken i believe, my hair is very similar, i was quite sassy, im sure that shows without explanation.’ she blushed while reading, it was true. his hands were on his hips whipping his head around.

-

every day was a surprise around malfoy manor. not the kind of surprise draco liked. not the feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he read y/ns letters, those were replaced by a pit as they were summoned around the large table in the dining room. the first one he attended was horrible, watching his muggle studies teacher being hung above their heads, pleading for the help of severus as she died. he bit his tongue in an attempt to avoid raging about about every comment surrounding muggle culture. each one tore his heart, as he imagined the girl all those kilometres away, the girl he had no contact with, but he looked at her picture as much as possible, and hoped one day he could make her smile again like she did in the image.

-

senior year was here, and y/n schedule picked up once again. her timetable was full, maybe it was best, a distraction, after a whole summer of thinking alone in her room. draco was on her mind at night, no matter how hard she tried to forget. she’d made friends with her creative promotions partner, logan. he was certainly not intrested in her in anyway besides friends, but company after all this time was enjoyable, just in the hour of class

-

draco had little privacy, with death eaters in every hallway, conversing with eachother. wherever he went someone was there, until he finally got sick of it and began going to the garden bench. with a book, sometimes, giving some of the sappy love stories y/n mentioned a try or even the poetry books she sent with noctua awhile back, they were okay, but his heart hurt at the feeling of relation in every line. he could only read one or two poems at a time, without tears forming in his green orbs.

sometimes he went with a pen and a notebook. he wrote about everything. the smell of the plants around him, the feeling in his chest when the dark lord called for a meeting. most of the notebook, though, was filled with poems of his own. and letters he had no intention of sending for her own safety. she wasn’t in harms way, though, other followers were preoccupied with ruining weddings and other things they considered fun. he blabbered on for pages, about how he missed seeing noctua fluttering towards him at breakfast. how he rereads the letter that dumbledore gave him the night he died. how she listened to him rant on and on, giving her support no matter how evil he felt. how he found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.

snow was falling once again, he had to dress in layers, making it hard to write often, the plants started dying as cold settled over and his mother no longer babied him like she used to before the death eaters began inhabiting the mansion. he couldn’t keep himself company any longer and gave into the pressure he put on himself. as long as they were careful, she’d be in no destruction- he prayed as he wrote what seemed to be an appropriate response after all this time.

-

like it had been decades, she flinched at the noise of the owl on the window, carrying a much larger scroll that he’d ever sent before, some parts scratched out and written above. his writing was much less tidy than she remembered, like the letters on the page were anxious for her reaction.

love,

after all this time, im sorry you are just now hearing from me. you have ever single right to be annoyed with me, after you listened to me for months, helping me emotionally in ways i never be able to repay you for. you do not need to forgive me, or write me back. i just wanted to keep you safe. but i needed to tell you everything before it might actually be to late. you’ve probably moved on and forgotten about me, like you should, but i guess im saying that i am alive. i didn’t kill him either. snape did. i thought i was going to be able to, but he started talking about you. he gave me a letter from you that he had already opened, the words repeated in my head over and over. you talked about how i deserved another chance, and how you wish I’d was there with you. right before he died he asked me if i loved you. i knew the answer but didn’t have time to say it. ive read your poetry books, they aren’t as bad as i once thought, i can’t read to many at once. i try to forget what dumbledore said that night, and that night altogether. but one day i read ‘that’s how you know you love someone, i guess. when you cant experience anything without wishing the other person was there to see it too.’ when i sit in the garden i imagine you smelling the flowers, myself picking one and putting it behind your ear. when i go on walks i imagine your hand in mine. youre in my dreams. my never ending thought. i remember the way i felt when we started talking a lot, and how I felt when we didn’t get a chance. you listened to me when no one else offered. not even my parents. i hope your doing okay, and smiling and laughing. i don’t care if we talk about absolutely nothing, i just want to talk to you. i know that’s unfair to you after all ive weighed on you. but i guess that’s all, i love you. draco ♡

well this certainly didn’t get him off her mind. she didn’t need to either. ofcourse she was going to write him back, but she needed time to think about her response. she missed the next day of school, and his owl was comfortably standing on her desk, nibbling away at the water and crumbs. she took an hour long shower, multiple naps, raided her fridge, and had to email the school pretending to be her mum, excusing her for the day. before she even knew what she was going to write, she began on a new piece of paper. she’d have thought longer, but was sure draco would be convinced she stole noctua out of anger.

draco,

wow. i don’t really know what to say. i knew you weren’t a killer, and i meant what i said about you deserving more chances. i will admit i was angry, and a bit confused. i sent that letter with high hopes. i don’t know what i was hoping for at the time, i was being incredibly selfish. but couldn’t help myself feel pained when you didn’t mention it in the next letter when you said harry hexed you. i know we can’t be together, especially not right now, but i love you too. i wish more than anything you were here with me right now, and it was you i’d be graduating with half a year from now. i wish you were in the passenger seat of my car while i drive through the city. i wish you could point out the constellations in the sky. i usually can’t read to many poems either, they get me thinking to much. im ready to write again if you are.

y/n

-

draco hadn’t felt more joy in a long time. around seven months. she loved him, and that was enough happiness for a life time. he just needed to stay alive.

they continued to stay in touch, almost as if they never stopped talking, entertaining eachother as much as possible, masking their separate misery and the distance between them. he could get time away from the reality that was his life for a while, he thought, until snatchers brought the trio he spent so long bickering with to the manor.

a very distorted looking harry fell before him, his hair tightly gripped by bellatrix.

‘well, is it him’ he knew it was harry. and yet a part of him couldn’t bring himself to letting the boy get killed.

‘i can’t be sure’ he lied

‘draco, look closely son’ lucius said loudly, getting a grip on the back of dracos neck before leaning in and whispering.

‘if we are the ones that hand potter to the dark lord, all will be f-forgiven. a-all will go back to how it was’

his father and the and a snatcher quickly got into an arguement. lucius was yelling something about the manor before narcissa calmed him with a hiss.

‘don’t be shy, sweetie come here take a closer look’

draco was know level with him. the scar was still visible on his forehead, and swollen eyes staring back at him, hopeless.

‘what’s wrong with his face’ draco said

‘yes what is wrong with the boys face’ a shrill voice repeated

‘he was like that when we got him, something he picked up in the forest i reckon’

bellatrix walked away, laughing away at something. the blonde boys eyes were still on harry, before he felt a tap on his shoulder. bellatrix began acting out, yelling about a sword, putting ropes around snatchers neck from the end of her wand. sword now in her hand she walked over to ronald weasley, grabbing his collar and demanding that the boys be put in the cellar.

a different draco would have gladly watched a mudblood be tortured by his aunt. but he flinched at every scream of hermione, unable to watch he went to the next room, resisting tears as he thought of the girl he fell for enduring the same. she had moved onto the goblin- ridiculing it about who got into her vault- and hermiones screams were now gone.

‘youre lucky, goblin, the same won’t go for this one’ he heard footsteps

‘like hell it wont’ he heard ron yell, followed by the expelliarmus and what must have been harry stupefying his father. draco rushed in, now dueling a more normal looking harry, until their attention caught on bellatrix, a knife to grangers throat. they dropped there wands, and he did as instructed, picking them up. lucius was summoning the dark lord when they heard a tittering on the ceiling, and the chandlier crashing. it all moved so fast and harry was now wrestling draco for his wand back. he tried, but harry had already pried it out of his cold and shaky hands.

‘STUPID ELF. THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME’

‘dobby never meant to kill. dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure’ the house elf squeaked, and draco had never resisted a chuckle so hard.

‘HOW DARE YOU TAKE A WITCHES WAND. HOW DARE YOU DEFY YOUR MASTERS’

‘dobby has no master, dobby is a free elf, and he has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.’ and with that they apparated out, not without bella throwing a knife into the mix.

-

meanwhile, y/n was receiving letters of her own. not from draco either. letters from the schools she applied to. so far everything was good, except for princeton, but she didn’t have the highest expectations. she was accepted to the university of british columbia, seattle university, even ucla. she only had one letter left, and the large stuffed yellow envelope sat in her hands. she wasn’t sure about it- would she even be able to go to the univeristy of london? it was far, but draco was there, well closer to there atleast. accepted- it read. it was an option, and she still had weeks to think about it.

-

draco was very hesitant to write after the incident at the manor, the screams of Hermione, and the terrifying looking potter still vivid in his brain and nightmares. he often woke from sleep in a sweat, yet freezing cold. whispers of the war around his house also haunted his mind and soul. he’d walk to the window and look up at the the stars, they were under the same sky, at least. eventually he had to write her, it had been half a month and he couldn’t leave her hanging alone again.

y/n

love, im sorry for being hesitant, but there is going to be a war. i hate to leave you contact-less, but i need you to be safe now more than ever. i couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt. potter and his friends were brought here to the manor, it didn’t last long- they escaped within the hour and a half. with that doped elf, and a goblin too. if you don’t hear from me again, remember i love you. and always will.

draco

of all the letters y/n had recieved, from draco in all, that was probably the most displeasing. a war? like with tanks and bombs? tears were shedding down her face as she wrote the shortest response yet. knowing he most definitely didn’t have time to listen to her talk about schools, and how she got accepted to london, but her parents deemed it to far, ubc would have to do, she’d find her way to him eventually, if they were meant to be.

draco

stay safe, i love you.

yn.

-

draco now stood at snapes new office, dozens of corpses on the floor, pooled in blood. the dark lord speaking parsel tounge to nagini. no one needed to speak it to know that the man was infuriated about something potter had done.

-

the information he left was lacking, was he serious? what did wizarding wars even look like? her graduation date was set, June 6th, but it all seemed irrelevant, suddenly picking out a dress didn’t seem as fun as she thought, same with getting portraits taken. should she have said more?

-

next thing he knew the protection spell was countered and he apparated in, grabbing zabani and goyle by the collar. rushing them into a corridor and waited for the door of the room of requirement to completely vanish before approaching himself. they successfully found harry, opening a box carefully before finally drawing attention to themselves.

‘well well, what brings you here, potter’ draco said, softly, much to his surprise as he meant it to sound snarky and rude

‘i could ask you the same’

‘i believe you have something of mine, and id like it back’ was he becoming… kind?

‘whats wrong with the one you have?’ harry replied

‘it’s my mothers, powerful but different, doesn’t fully understand me, im sure you know the feeling’

‘why didn’t you tell her. bellatrix? you knew it was me, and you didn’t tell her’ he wasn’t exactly sure what to say, nor did he know. harry really didn’t have anything to do with his feelings for y/n, maybe he should have just turned in him when he had the chance, it would all be over if he had.

‘don’t be a wuss draco, just do it now’ goyle whispered in his ear, making him chill the same way bellatrix did on the astronomy tower, almost a year ago.

‘expelliarmus’ hermione half shouted, causing narcissas want to fly out of dracos hands and run the other way.

‘avada kedavra’ goyle missed and weaslebee started chasing after them, yelling something about his girlfriend. turning back around after goyle unsuccessfully casted the fiendfyre curse.

fear was making his body almost rattle as he desperately climbed bookcases in an attemp to outrun the flames. he watched goyle fall, into the orange. yes, he was a complete and utter twat, but wasn’t a half bad friend during dracos bullying peek. his foot slipped, now just his hands were keeping him up, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. in the distance he saw the three, zooming off to safety in the distance, leaving them their to die. not that he blamed them, after anything he did to them, he would have probably left himself there aswell.

but potter was flying towards him, arm out-stretched, grabbing onto his own and hoisting himself on the broom. had he already died? must not have, because the heat had finally caughten up. feeling as though he was going to pass out, he gripped tighter onto harry, maintaining his position on the broom. so much for staying safe. the second they made it out, they crashed onto the ground. he wanted to thank harry, but found himself running off instead.

explosions and hexes were being sent everywhere. people dying left and right. giants and trolls and spiders helping, he found himself in the slytherin common room. partially because he wanted to say goodbye, as he never wished to return to the building again once he had the choice. and partially as he was now aware of a large burn on his arm, and he felt a need to put off fighting until absolutely necessary. he entered through the portrait, for the last time. it felt like an aquarium, looking out upon the lake filled windows, merpeople and the giant squid often zooming by. he sat down upon the sofa, where he spent countless hours avoiding homework, plotting against potter and swimming in lust of his pure-blood status that now felt like a curse. he went up to his dorm, where he did very similar things. he wondered as to what he would be doing if he was a muggle right now. picking out a suit for graduation, buying a corsage for his date, but he wasn’t, so he best get going. running his hands along the furniture before leaving, not looking back.

the noise in the entrance courtyard had completely been diminished and draco found his way into the crowd of students pooling in. death eaters swarmed towards them at a painfully slow place, his mother and father near the head of the group. he noticed hagrid, towering above them, carrying what could only have been harrys corpse.

he watched carefully as they approached, trying to wedge himself inbetween and behind other students.

‘harry potter is dead’ voldemort paused ‘from now on, you put your faith in me’ silence fell over the hundreds of people who were know gathered. he swished his robes and turned backwards facing his followers

‘HARRY POTTER IS DEAD’ obnoxious and deafening cackles erupted

‘and now is the time to declare yourselves. come to our side, or die’ even more silence fell.

‘draco’ his father hissed before repeating ‘draco’

he felt eyes fall all over him, gazing expectantly. tears ran down his face.

don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. was this what she meant? he’d been looking for another chance, maybe this was it.

he shook his head no, and noticed his father had fallen a shade of pale he didn’t know existed.

‘Draco, DRACO’ he yelled, clearly enranged, but before he could continue - a movement shifted in hagrids arms, and harry fell out. in a heartbeat draco threw his wand to the scar faced boy. he caught it, looking grateful as he could while casting some sort of spell at nagini. death eaters were disappearing into the air- including lucius, narcissa being dragged with him.

draco didn’t know what to do with himself, he was wandless and he couldn’t fight, unless he wanted to engage in an actual physical duel, which he didn’t. he found himself in the great hall, asking professor sprout if she needed help patching those up, she pulled him into a hug, unexpectantly. he never recalled such contact or connection with a professor. he spent the rest of the battle helping healing wounds with dittany, and caring for those left in the wake. it was a nice distraction from the fact he would most definitely be disowned, left a family-less orphan at 17.

-

y/n couldn’t blame him for not writing, he clearly stated that it might be the last time. but every night she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, or until she fell asleep. how could she like him so much? they’d never even met. she didnt really need to see him to know him, his letters told him enough about him. and she could only hope- that if he managed through his six year without killing his headmaster, he could make it through the war.

-

he delayed going back to the manor for as long as possible, until he decided to apparate directly into his room. he considered packing his things up, but realized no one was home. he was thankful, he don’t think he would ever be able to fully confront his parents again. he fell asleep in his bed, and slept for 48 hours straight. he slept through very vivid dreams, ones of y/n being tortured the same way as Hermione, ones of the dark lord coming alive once again and killing his mother because of his choices. he couldn’t bring himself to sleep again purposefully, no matter how exhausted he was. the days weren’t much better, his mind raced at unbelievable paces. he saw the dead bodies laying around the great hall, the unrecoverable ones. maybe he should have just fallen into the fire, surely that would have been easier. he was slowly becoming thinner, and always needed multiple blankets to even stay at a somewhat warm temperature, his heart beat faster than normal. he often felt pains in his neck, and his eyes were almost always puffy from crying. he spent so much time in bed he almost didn’t hear his owl flutter onto his nightstand mid afternoon, a small package tied loosely around his neck.

he opened it to see a letter, muggle candies and a worn book. suddenly he felt more awake, and be shot up a little to fast then he should have, sitting on the edge of his bed.

draco.

i don’t know where you are, or if youre alive, if youre reading this now. i hope this doesn’t arrive at a bad time. but your 18 now, so happy birthday. if you are seeing this, i still love you. i think about you all the time. i hope you are okay, and safe. in case you don’t end up writing me back, i just thought I’d give you some random information to keep you company and away from your mind. i graduate tomorrow. i look at your picture everyday. I remember what you once told me about following my dreams, so instead of medicine, im going to study literature and business next year. im staying in kelowna aswell for now, hoping maybe you’ll be able to visit someday. im sure you’d like it. my favourite colour is still green. i don’t know what else to say.

always here to listen if you’d like to talk. yn.

was it actually his birthday? had it already been a month since the war? it felt like a year but the visions played over and over like it was yesterday. it took him awhile before it clicked. the war was over, Voldemort was dead and there was no one to stop him from seeing her. he completely disregarded the lightheaded feeling he got when he stood up to fast- and rushed to his wardrobe. it took him a bit longer than he thought to pack up all his clothes, including the thousands of letters he kept hidden in a large drawer. the trunk was a bit heavier than he may have thought, and he ended up needing to take a car, in fear that he may not be able to apparate successfully to the airport without injuring himself. he quickly found out that muggle travelling was harder than he thought, and security and customs were also apparently a thing that all people needed to get through.

he wrapped himself in his cloak and didn’t get a drop of sleep the whole plane ride. it was nighttime when they flew over montreal, and then toronto. the sun rose as they crossed through winnipeg, regina, and calgary. he didn’t know this himself ofcourse, but he aggressively hit the map on the screen in front of him, desperate to know where he was. he only got an hour of half decent sleep before he felt rattling of the plane landing, and he gripped tightly onto the arm rests. he struggled for half an hour before he even got sight of his luggage on the moving thing that went round and round. compared to London, kelownas airport was very small and easy to navigate. the air outside was hot, making draco feel even more self concious about his clothing choices.

-

y/n put her hair back into a twist with a clip taking a suprising amount of effort to make sure it looked okay. her makeup was natural looking, nothing crazy but she looked gorgeous none the less. she slipped into her black romper, some canadians didn’t wear their fancy dresses to convocation, only something simple to go with the cap and gown. she arrived at the ceremony, seeing everyone, with excited smiles and laughs, conversing amongst themselves. and every memory came rushing back. they sat in rows on a stage, listening to the heartfelt and extremely cheesy speech the staff made every single year. she’d never noticed how many kids were in her age group until they were being called up one by one.

‘alex can’

‘ruth lee’

and the list went on and on until finally

‘y/n l/n’ the moment had come, and she shook everyone’s hand, receiving her diploma and flipping her caps tassel to the left. ‘y/n is staying around next year, and attending the university of british columbia okanogan, good luck l/n’ her principal said and claps continued like they had and the rest of the list finished sooner, or seemed to go by faster, she wasn’t sure. 

-

draco had never had to find a taxi by himself, but once he did he gave the driver the only place he knew, the address he saw on the top corner of her first response almost two years ago.

-

y/n pulled away from the school grounds, watching them disappear in her rear view mirror. it was hot with a breeze, but she smiled the whole way home. she’d done it, made it through every assignment and class, dealt with attention hungry bitches, and crappy teachers. the next door was truly opening. pulling up to her house, and closing her car door as she hopped out, she watched her feet carry her up to the house. turning the corner, she saw him, sitting there on her steps, a present wrapped horribly in his hands, looking very out of place in his black cloak. she stopped in her own steps and he hesitantly stood up, before she launched herself into his arms breathing in his cologne, finally together after all this time.

[dreamerology]

i was tagged by the loml @123dream to answer these 20 get to know me questions! thank u for tagging me hehe 💕

🦋what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

elliot or el! i don’t rly have a preference for either

🦋when is your birthday?

october 9

🦋where do you live?

canada 🦫

🦋three things you’re doing right now?

i just got home from work so im listening 2 music, snacking on a muffin & catching up w my roommate

🦋four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

i would definitely love to have more people to talk abt books w but im not overly interested in being involved in any of the fandoms

🦋how is the pandemic treating you?

awful lol our govt is handling it so poorly & im so tired of constantly feeling on edge and anxious when im at work/having to take the bus and it just seems like an endless cycle which like ☹️💔 it’s been 2 years since ive seen my gf and who knows when we’ll be able to travel again….i also just miss walking around malls & going escape rooms & board game cafes, stuff like that

🦋song you can’t stop listening to right now?

honey by halsey 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (the entire album really…)

🦋recommend a movie

castle in the sky <3

🦋how old are you?

21! 22 soon 🤢

🦋school, university, occupation, other?

i currently work at two post secondary libraries! been at the one for 2 years and the other for a year (ignoring the months i was laid off from both bc of covid 🙄)

🦋do you prefer hot or cold?

cold bc at least u can continue to layer up for warmth….my anxiety has decided this summer that heat makes me claustrophobic and triggers panic attacks so im glad the weather is starting to cool off

🦋name one fact others may not know about you.

ive never been stung by a bee/wasp so im terrified im actually allergic even tho there isn’t that kind of severe reaction in my family lmao

🦋are you shy?

yes but not even in the cute way more so in the annoying and useless in social situations way

🦋what are your preferred pronouns?

they/them! at the moment im also ok w he/him

🦋any pet peeves?

people who r on the phone while they’re at like a checkout or expecting help from someone idk how else to describe it but every time a student comes to check out something while on the phone and i also have to talk to them i wanna smack the phone out of their hand

🦋what’s your favourite “dere” type?

could not tell u the definition of one of them sorry

🦋rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

6 maybe??? in a (temporary) full time job in my field which will hopefully lead to something more!!! and our work schedules just changed so ill actually be able to see my roommates every evening instead of once a week :D i just got back from an absolutely wonderful road trip! ive also picked up reading again which makes me really happy & fulfilled….if the panoramic wasn’t happening n i had a trip planned to see noah it would be even higher also once i get a better hold of my anxiety i’ll be unstoppable

🦋what’s your main blog?

dreamerology

🦋list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

im not active on any of them anymore like im barely active here lmaooo

🦋is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

sometimes i take a lot time to reply bc i overthink my messages rly bad if we’re just getting to know each other! but if we have something in common chances are i already consider us besties im just horrible at initiating convos

tagging some mutuals who r recently in my activity bc idk like anyone on here anymore 😢@softredvelvet @carnation-station @penpall @s00ft @leetaemn