#for anyone avoiding the topic even though again this ain't it

[aerodaltonimperial]

katy's community poll-fic 2k24

part 1

(Well, so here is your next part, as decided collectively! I had to decide whether or not to bring the lads into this, and ultimately decided not to, since despite Bowens' best efforts, that shit ain't kayfabe, at least for Hook. ENJOY PART 2. Remember, 24 hours to pick the next bit.)

Bowens, it is: he’s got to know better than anyone how to deal with Max Caster and missing objects. Turns out, he’s relatively easy to find, but only because Jack accidentally stumbles across him sitting out by the row of sewing machines and the people sewing with somewhat reckless abandon. Jack actually almost skids right past him, coasting on his heels before realizing he spotted Bowens’ head half-hidden by one of the coat racks brimming with sequins and bright colors.

Honestly, the garish pink should have given it all away.

“Hey,” Jack says, perhaps more demanding than he should, because Bowens looks up from his phone screen with a frown. “Have you seen Max’s title belt?”

“What?” Bowens asks, and that might just be because Jack came barrelling out of nowhere without much of a greeting, but this feels like a Bowens problem.

“Max’s belt. It’s missing. Have you seen it?”

Bowens’ frown intensifies, tugging his face down. “What do you mean, it’s missing?”

“Don’t tell him anything!” Hook screeches, coming around the corner and nearly taking out the whole coat rack in his haste to stop. As soon as he does, Jack reaches out and covers Hook’s face with his hand, trying to push him back and away. He ends up getting Hook sputtering against his palm, which, ew.

“Okay, what is this about again?” Bowens asks.

“Max’s belt is missing,” Jack says, again. “I’m trying to find it.”

“I’m trying to find it,” Hook interjects, though it’s a bit muffled given that Jack still has his hand smushed up against Hook’s mouth. He finally withdraws once Hook licks his palm. Gross. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Bowens looks at Hook, and then at Jack. His face betrays nothing. “Oh. So… you’re both trying to figure out what happened to it?”

“Yes,” Jack and Hook answer at the same time, and then, disgusted, both try, “No.”

“It’s nice that you seem to be working together again,” Bowens says. The worst part is, he sounds genuine. The soul-crushing horror nearly takes Jack out at the knees.

“I’m not working with him,” Hook replies. “I hope his own hair strangles him in the middle of the night.”

“I hope that he inhales a joint and ends up choking to death on it,” Jack says.

“Well, I hope that his stupid little briefs are too tight and cut off circulation to his legs and he gets gangrene,” Hook says, with a glare.

Jack rolls his eyes. “I don’t even wear those anymore, so this just goes to show how much attention you pay to your surroundings.”

“Oh, sorry I’m not staring at your crotch,” Hook snaps. “You know, not everyone is, you perverted egomaniac.”

“Hook, I sincerely don’t think you are staring at anything except the god damn sun,” Jack says, “and I’m amazed that you haven’t gone blind yet. But there’s still hope it might happen. Today, if we’re lucky.”

“I feel like we’re getting really off-topic here,” Bowens comments.

Right: Max’s title belt. Jack turns back to Bowens, whose expression has gone, for lack of a better word, befuddled. “Have you seen the belt? Or anyone take the belt?”

“You think I saw someone take my partner’s title belt and then just… came here to sit for awhile?” Bowens asks.

“Fine, fine,” Jack amends. “If you had to guess, who would you think would take it?”

“Are you sure someone took it?” Bowens asks. His brow remains furrowed. “Max would misplace his ass if it wasn’t connected to his body, honestly.”

“He says he had it, and now he doesn’t,” Hook says, like a chump.

Jack pushes Hook away again, with his shoulder this time, to avoid the guy’s tongue touching his skin again. “Would, say, the Assboys take it?”

“But we’re in a group now,” Bowens says.

“Yeah, and that always works out so well,” Hook grumbles.

“Do you have any other enemies?” Jack asks.

Bowens, finally, seems to take this line of questioning seriously. He sits back, tapping a finger against his chin as his eyes slide up to the ceiling tiles. Then he says, “Well, I guess we did kind of declare war on the Undisputed Kingdom, back before we knew they were the Devil Goons. They might be pissed about that.”

“And they’re clearly assholes,” Hook agrees.

“But why would they give a shit about Max’s title belt?” Jack asks. “It’s not like they can do anything with it. It’s bright fucking pink. Everyone knows who it belongs to.”

“Maybe just to fuck with him,” Hook grumbles. “Get him all riled up.”

“I mean, they did steal MJF’s little mask and all,” Jack muses thoughtfully. “So they clearly have a history with this kind of thing.”

Hook nods, mouth pursed. “Wouldn’t be out of character.”

“Still feels like small fries compared to everything else they’ve done,” Jack continues. Then he realizes that Hook has been standing next to him for, like, five minutes, and is agreeing with him, which makes him feel like maybe he needs to go take another shower or something. “Go away. I’m doing this by myself.”

“No, I’m doing this by myself,” Hook says, all pissed and pink-cheeked again. “You’ll just stab me in the back the second I turn away.”

“Actually, I’d probably stab you in the stomach. I’d want you to know it was me.”

Hook growls. “Oh, trust me, I already would.”

“So, you guys are friends again?” Bowens asks. He’s gone back to his phone, scrolling through social media like somehow Jack and Hook have already lost his interest. Shouldn’t he be worried about Max’s missing belt? Whatever. “That’s nice.”

“Gross,” Jack says. “No. I hope he gets hit by a car jaywalking like a douchebag New Yorker.”

Hook’s nose crinkles in distaste. “Spoken like a true bitch.”

“Okay, cool,” Bowens replies, without looking at either of them. “Good luck with finding Max’s belt.”

“I’m finding it first,” Hook promises, and then turns to head down the hallway with his hands jammed into his hoodie pockets as though he doesn’t look like a bum that just rolled in from beneath the nearest bridge.

What an asshole.

[asterkiss]

“I think they bought it. We can leave now.” “No way, this was just 5 minutes and I have a reputation to uphold.”

Or

“There is actually no downside to acting like we would be dating.” “Yes, except the part where people would think I was dating you.”

Fake Dating Prompts Modern AU where all the kids + Bill go to highschool together. Again, everything I know about American highschool is taken from movies and TV shows.

- HOMECOMING

Mabel was usually rather proud of who she was. She didn't pay any mind to the whispers behind her back, nor did she let it get to her when the girls giggled and pointed in her direction. So what? She knew she was a little weird by their standards but she wasn't going to change for anyone(!) - let alone a bunch of mean classmates she wouldn't ever hang out with again after graduation.

Still, when Pacifica Northwest made needling comments regarding her love life and lack of a date to the Homecoming, Mabel may have snapped a teensy bit.

'Actually, I do have a date! And he's great and handsome and even better than your boyfriend, Pacifica!'

Urghhhh, why had she said that? Whyyyy!? She didn't have a date! Or a boyfriend! Heck, she was the furthest thing from having any kind of romantic interest after being rejected twice in the last month.

Not to mention that last comment had definitely shot her in the foot. Pacifica was dating the highschool quarterback in typical cliche fashion, and he was a beautiful hottie wrapped up in like, even more hottiness! How was she meant to top that?

Heck, there was only one guy in the entire school who was on par with that level of attractiveness. Although, he was also kind of a two-faced asshole who scared everyone.

―But hey, the alternative was letting Pacifica win.

'So, wanna go to Homecoming with me?' She offered a toothy smile, putting on her best cutesy look as she gazed upon the sight of Bill Cipher. She'd tracked him down to one of the club rooms as it turned out he was in the forensice science class. The brunette couldn't help but notice how the few others in the room were on the far side keeping their distance.

Bill stared at her with a pensive frown, eyebrows drawn together as he scrutinised her face. She couldn't help noticing his eyebrows were dark but his hair was almost platinum blond - did he dye it? She couldn't see any roots from this distance. This colour definitely made his blue eyes pop though. He'd look dreamy if he smiled but instead the guy was staring at her as if she'd grown a second head.

'Well?' she asked, tilting her head when he said nothing.

After a moment he returned his attention to the slides and forensic scope before him. 'Nah.'

Her expression dropped. Nah?

'Why not?'

'Why yes?' he quipped back without glancing her way. 'I don't even know you-' He cut himself off, casting her another curious frown. 'Right?' He seemed to be asking himself as much as her.

'Um, well not really. We haven't spoken per say-'

'Then nah. Nothing in it for me, ya can go now.' He waved her off dismissively.

Mabel huffed, not one to be easily dissuaded. She wasn't going to rejected three times in a month! 'Well, um, what if I did give you something?'

'Doubt there's anything you have that I want,' Bill drawled. 'No offense. Honestly, that's more a compliment than anything else.'

'Uh, thanks?' she replied, before returning to the topic at hand. 'And look, I'm not asking you out because I like you or anything.' Although he was defintiely attractive. 'But I sorta got myself into a predicamenet aaaand... um, well I kinda need to show up to Homecoming with you as my date to avoid schoolwide embarassment?'

Icy blue eyes wandered in her direction. 'Uh huh, and how is that my problem? Ain't my fault you talked yourself into it with the Northwest chick.'

Oh, so he did know about it? Then again, she had kinda got into it with Pacifica in a rather crowded place and neither girl had been quiet.

'If anything, it should be entertaining for a few minutes,' Bill went on with a shrug. 'Otherwise, I'm hoping the spiked punch and bribed DJ will make this thing a concotion of disaster by the time the night's over.'

She ignored his concerning statements. 'Please? It's just one night! There's no downside to us acting like we're dating for one night.'

'Yes, except the part where people think I'm dating you.'

She gaped. 'Hey, what does that mean? I'll have you know I've been called cute on several occasions!'

'Yeah you're cute,' he replied without missing a beat. 'But that begs the question why you haven't already got a date so there's obviously something up with ya if like me you're going alone. I know I'm messed up in many ways, so what's your issue?'

She flushed, partially because he'd called her cute so easily but also because he'd called her out instantly. It was also annoying that he was clearly enjoying her reaction, although she saw the same pensive look cross his face as he glanced her way.

'...Okay, okay, seriously have we met already? Have you asked me out before? Were you one of the girls I turned down in the first year?'

She opened her mouth to respond when he cut her off with a sudden yell that made her flinch in surprise.

'Wait, wait!' he yelled, looking deleriously excited as he stood up. The other students in the room jumped, looking towards them anxiously. Bill grinned, eyes wide with delight when he jabbed a finger in her direction. 'You're not- Wait, are you related to Pine Tree?'

'Who?'

'Pi- Dipper Pines!'

'Um... yes? He's my twin brother?' Did he know Dipper?

Bill's grin widened, splitting across his entire face. Mabel jumped when he grabbed her by the biceps, suddenly invading her personal space as they stood toe-to-toe. She swallowed, heart skipping a beat from the abrupt turn of events. 'Uhhhh....'

'Tell me, do you and your brother get on? Or is it more a case of you hating one anothers guts?' Bill said, dropping his voice to a whisper as he leaned nearer. Oh, her heart was dancing all over the place. She wasn't used to being up this close and personal with a guy. Wow, he had really good skin up close - did he use product? She should ask him―

'Hey, cm'on, answer me Shooting Star,' he said, raising one hand to flick at the dangly stars hanging from her ears.

'Yeah, we're close,' she replied, finding her voice. 'So what?'

Apparently she'd given him the correct answer because his eyes twinkled in delight. It was startling how different the boy seemed from when she'd first entered.

She was so confused right now. 'Soooooo.... about Homecoming.'

'Hm? Oh yeah, we're totally doing that.' He stepped away. 'Feel free to tell people we're dating right now if ya want.'

'Wait, really?' A pause. 'Is this something to do with me being related to Dipper?'

'Oh definitely, I'm only going out with ya cuz I reckon it'll wind him up.'

Hmmm. Mabel turned that information over in her head. Did that mean he and Dipper didn't get along then? Wasn't surprising, having only spoken to Bill for a couple of minutes she couldt definitely see how the two would butt heads.

....Oh well, she was only doing this for her own reasons that benefitted her so she couldn't really be annoyed at him for doing the same. She'd deal with Dipper and any issues that came from it later.

'Okay, cool!' Great, she'd be able to deal with Homcoming and Pacifica in one swing. Now she just had to decide on her dress. As Mabel was mulling over this new issue and turning to leave, a firm hand grasped her shoulder from behind. She turned her head to peer behind, only to find his face inches from her own as their gazes locked. She felt his lips brush against her own, chest tightening and eyes bulging wide in response.

And then there was a flash and click.

He pulled away with a chuckle, whilst Mabel blinked away the light and stood rooted to the spot. 'What just happened?'

'I'm gonna add you on Facebook so I can tag you in this,' Bill replied back, glancing down at his phone. 'Make sure you accept both, alright?'

Uh.

Wait, huh?

Had they just kissed? They had, right? Their lips definitely connected.

More and more questions bounced around her mind as Mabel finally left the classroom, pulling her phone out of her pocket as it buzzed. She stared at the friend invitation from Bill Cipher.

She was beginning to wonder if she'd gotten more than she bargained for with this. It would be worth it to see the look on Pacifica's face, right?

....Right?

[avi17]

I'm really trying not to dwell on anti drama but I'm also just like. Holding in an explosive rant about this wild new idea that shipping within "found families" is incest and therefore immoral?? I feel like I said something about this before but like. God does that feel not only queerphobic but completely antithetical to everything about queer history

[thevivification]

Lives of Three | Prologue

Halloo! So I decided to start making a fic and to honour that have the prologue. hope it ain't too bad! Here's a link to it on Ao3

-------------------

Ah, Boatem. The explosive area known for the good 'ol hole to the void right in the center. Boatem, the people that decided to have a meeting located in said hole to the void. Boatem, the lovable, talented people on the northern part of The Continent. Or at least they were formerly part of The Continent.

It was, odd, to say the least. The Hermits had been having a normal day. Crafting tables were scattered yet again on Pearl's mountain, an end crystal had appeared right beside Mumbo's front lawn, and honestly no one knows why the big-hatted salesman is doing what he's doing but overall it's a normal day in the seaside town.

<Grian> BY THE HOLE

Ah, another meeting it seems. Cubfan had seem and heard them all, llamas in the void, end crystals and eggs, and oh don't forget about the racehorses. He never really minded though.

With a little bit of peaking, he saw the next shanenigan they'd gotten themselves into. Grian had replaced some of the surrounding grass with ice, and they'd be sliding around in boats while trying to discuss the topic. He went straight back to his canyon, deciding it'd be best to check his stores' stock.

---

GoodTimeWithScar fell into the void

There's the first death, an expected outcome in any boatem meeting. Cub paid no mind to it, they would respawn anyways.

<CubFan135> Successful meeting? <Grian> Where's Scar?

The vex stared at his communicator. Well he's fallen in the hole, has he not? We saw the death message appear right in chat, so he could be at either at spawn, or at his base.

GoodTimeWithScar left the game

Now that's odd. There's no rational explanation as to why he'd leave, and if it has something to do with the void then X might have an answer but other than that, there may not be much. Cub can hear panicked yelling from the Boatem area, and it sounds like Pearl's trying to calm everyone else down.

MumboJumbo fell into the void ImpulseSV fell into the void PearlescentMoon fell into the void MumboJumbo left the game Grian fell into the void ImpulseSV left the game <Tango> What is going on?? <Etho> I don't know but it's kinda weird PearlescentMoon left the game <GeminiTay> Do you think we should check it out? <Renthedog> Yeah it's not looking so good Grian left the game

Oh. Well then that's not good. Cub pockets the communicator in his lab coat, storing his collected diamonds into his wallet. He navigates the spikes of his dripstone canyon and walks towards the boatem village.

---

He wasn't the only one there. About seven other players were there, Ren, Etho and Bdubs being some. Cub unmuted his mic, meeting with a bunch of concerned voices.

"Ah Cub! You're their neighbor, do you know what happened to them?" a worried Gem had asked.

"Afraid not. I know about as much as the rest 'a y'all." He pulled out his comm to look at a playback of chat. Yep, mostly worried messages and five void deaths. The commotion around him started getting louder, a cluster of voices piling up onto each other to create a flurry of confusion.

"Guys, down here!" the familiar voice of Etho called from down in the Boatem hole. Everyone looked down, caring not to accidentally fall into the boatem hole itself. That's when they see it.

The Void wasn't exactly the Void anymore, the pure black and with hints of purple had started to swirl and glow a dim green. Etho grabs a spare loyalty trident from his inventory and launches it into the Void. He waits, and waits, and waits, and it doesn't come back. Tango carefully made his way to a safe section of the bedrock, he crouches down and squints his eyes to focus more on the void.

"What is that thing?" He lowers his head closer when he feels gravity pulling him down and jolts right back up.

"You think you can get up from there? we don't want to risk losing anyone else," Doc called down. The two of them nodded, with Tango firing a rocket and Etho pearling upwards.

"Alright, Tango, Etho, what did you see?" Doc asked. Zed brought out his clipboard and started taking down notes.

"Well I tested out one of my spare loyalty tridents on the thing. Never came back." Zed nodded along, messily scribbling the details onto a paper.

"Well there's definitely something weird about it. Dangit, where's X when you need him?" Tango crossed his arms and tapped his feet against the ground. He's looking around avoiding to even glance at the Boatem hole. The atmosphere is tense, and as the vex looks down he notices a bright blue substance on certain parts of the walls.

"Vex magic," he thinks aloud. The other hermits look towards him. "Scar had used vex magic here, there's traces of it." He moves closer towards the edge, assessing the traces of vex magic left.

"Do you know why he'd use vex magic?" Zed asked, replacing his clipboard with a scruffy notebook.

"Honestly I have no clue. Maybe we should ask X?" And the rest nodded.

---------------

Haha idk if this is good lol

[lochrannn]

Warnings: Sexual Content (M Rating)

Characters: Lila Pitts; Diego Hargreeves; Allison Hargreeves; Klaus Hargreeves; Hargreeves Siblings (background)

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

Roommates AU; Fake Marriage; Slow Burn; Mutual Pining; Emotional H/C

Chapter 4/?

-

Of course it’s been something that, at the very back of her mind, has been causing her no small amount of stress, but Lila has been doing a very good job of just completely ignoring the topic. Only, when her co-worker Nandi, a med student from South Africa, asks Lila how much longer she’ll be staying in the country, now that she’s dropped out of her degree, does it fully register with her that her student visa has expired and she’s into the last three weeks of her grace period. After that, she’ll be in the country illegally.

Lila smiles at Nandi brightly and tells her that she’s not made a decision yet and that she’s looking at a couple of options.

On her break she goes out into the alley and bums a smoke off one of the teenage busboys who seems to be working at the restaurant that’s right next to her café, even though she’s not had a cigarette in years, and contemplates what to do.

And predictably she comes up short.

So after her shift ends, she heads to the public library and finds several volumes on immigration law for research, because she doesn’t want to ask one of the librarians.

After an hour of frustratedly thumbing through the books, the only short term solution she has found is to get married to a citizen.

She’s back at square one with no idea what to do, when she leaves her books on the collection cart and heads out into the rainy evening.

By the time she walks in through the door, she’s not sure if she’s just breezed straight through panic and worry or whether she’s just too numb to feel it, but at the smell of cooking food, she immediately follows the aromas to the kitchen and for a moment gets distracted at the door by the sight of Diego gently stirring something on the stove.

Apparently sensing her arrival, Diego twists around to look at her and says, “Oh hey, I didn’t hear you come in.”

Lila drags her eyes up to meet his and belatedly realises that she’s unabashedly been staring at his arse in a pair of perfectly fitted jeans.

“Uh…” she says dumbly.

Somehow she’s got so used to him not being around over the last few days that coming home to someone in the flat is completely throwing her for a loop.

“I’m making gorditas,” Diego says, having turned back to stirring and making idle conversation, “d’you want some?”

When she doesn’t answer right away, still dealing with the whiplash of her day, Diego turns back around and asks, “Hey, you ok?”

Lila scrambles for an answer and, trying to avoid telling Diego that the sight of him all sexily making food has made all the thoughts in her brain combust, she accidentally lands on the other truth and blurts, “Yeah, uh, fine… just dealing with some visa troubles!”

Diego’s expression turns into one of such genuine concern that Lila instantly regrets being the cause of that.

“Ah shit! That sucks,” he says. “Anything I can help you with?”

Lila snorts loudly, “Thanks, but I doubt there’s anything you could do… short of marrying me,” she adds in a sarcastic tone.

There’s a beat where Diego looks at her with a completely blank expression and she knows it’s not the cooking that suddenly makes the temperature in the small kitchen go up a couple of notches. Then he makes a face that’s half smirk and half shy smile and something behind Lila’s ribs cracks at the sight and she hopes she never has to see it again, because she hasn’t the foggiest idea how to respond to it.

“Ha! Yeah,” Diego says then, pointing at her with his spatula and then turns back to the stove again.

“So, uh, d’you want some?” he asks, with a strained kind of casualness, not actually looking at her, and this time Lila is quicker to answer, “Yeah… yes, thanks! I’ll just go get out of my work clothes!”

Lila hurries into her room and then leans against the closed door for a moment. What the fuck is wrong with her? Only a few days ago, she was accusing Diego of being weird and now she’s joking about getting married. This is ridiculous!

She pushes off from the door and begins taking off her work clothes to change into something more comfortable.

Lila’s only justification for her odd behaviour is that she really is stressed out by the idea of having to leave the country. It’s not like she couldn’t start out again somewhere else, Australia maybe, the main thing is, she knows she can’t go back to England, too many bad memories there, but she just doesn’t want to.

She’s been floating about her whole life, and even though what she has going on right now isn’t exactly conventional, to her it feels like a respite. Maybe it won’t be permanent, but here in this city, with her job, and her flat, she’s been feeling significantly more settled than she has in a while and she doesn’t want to have to give that up so soon.

If only she could just marry Diego…

Is that really such an insane solution? Lila thinks to herself, while pulling on a pair of leggings.

She would pay him, of course, and she knows he needs the money. It’s a terribly weird thing to ask your landlord/recent lover/friend but Lila just cannot conceptualise any other solution. And he’s been remarkably patient with her antics over the last few days, maybe he’s actually a lot more relaxed about this sort of thing than she thinks. She can at least make the offer, worst case scenario they go back to being awkward around each other for a few days and she’s sure they’ll be back to normal in no time at all.

Lila makes her way back towards the kitchen and finds Diego already in the process of piling food onto the small table that barely has any room in the first place.

There’s a plate with little flat and round doughy things and a few dishes with different steaming fillings in them. There’s a decidedly spicy smell in the air and Lila can’t help the way her mouth starts watering.

“Yo, don’t just stand there, take a seat!” Diego says with a chuckle and Lila heads straight for the table and says with a laugh of her own, “Don’t have to tell me twice! Fuck that smells amazing! Did you make all of this yourself?”

“Uh, some of the fillings are made up of leftover takeout from the last couple of days,” Diego answers with a bit of a bashful shrug as he sits down across from her and shuffles around some of the dishes so he can squeeze one more onto the table, “but I made the gorditas and added some shit to the fillings,” he amends a bit more confidently.

Lila takes one of the little dough pockets and immediately starts spooning in different salsas and pastes. She doesn’t ask what’s in them, just picks up the dishes and gives them a sniff to decide which ones she wants.

“Mmmm!” she hums almost desperately when she takes her first bite. She looks up at Diego who is looking back at her with a glint in his eyes and chewing delightedly on his own food.

“Fuck, this is good!” Lila says, rudely not even having swallowed all of her mouthful.

“I know, right!” Diego answers with a chuckle.

They fall into easy conversation. At one point Diego gets up to get two beers from the fridge to wash down the food and Lila tries to get comfortable on the hard kitchen chair by tucking one of her feet underneath herself and her knee up under her chin.

After they run out of gorditas, Diego uses some slightly stale bread to finish up the rest of the fillings and then gets up to pile the dishes into the sink.

“I can do the dishes!” Lila offers, seeing as she’s been mooching off of Diego’s labour all evening.

“Nah,” Diego says, “dinner’s on me!”

As he starts filling the sink with water, the sudden domesticity of the scene reminds Lila of her plan to actually ask Diego for help.

She excuses herself and heads back to her room and while she’s rummaging through her drawers looking for her cheque book, her pulse starts speeding up and she tries to calm her nerves.

If he says no, she thinks she can handle the fallout of that, though she’ll still be lost for a way to stay in the country. But right now, she’s almost more anxious about what happens if he agrees. But tonight has been one of the most pleasant evenings she’s had in months and probably the most fun she’s had with anyone – she’s strenuously not thinking about the amount of fun she had sleeping with him. Diego’s her only real friend in this city and if after everything they can manage to hang out like this, then, Lila tries to convince herself, they can be pretend married for a while without it being too awkward.

Diego’s drying his hands on a dishtowel when she comes back into the kitchen.

“Diego?” Lila asks, tentatively.

“Mh?” He doesn’t properly acknowledge her as he reaches up to put the clean plates back into the overhead cabinet.

“Earlier… you asked if you could help me with my visa troubles…” Lila feels ridiculous. She’s always been confident and able to ask for, occasionally even straight up demand things. She has a sneaking suspicion that if it were anybody else, she’d just slap the cheque down on the counter and inform them of her plan, but somehow here with Diego, she’s just so unsure of herself.

Diego turns around and leans against the stove top. “Yeah?”

“I… uh… I’d pay you of course! I have money. Turns out I don’t have the same sense of pride as you,” Lila says with a slightly wistful shrug, “I took my mother’s money when she died, felt like it was the least I deserved after the way she treated me my whole life…” she drifts off.

“What do you want to give me money for?” Diego asks, crossing his arms but there’s a peculiar expression on his face that Lila can’t quite read.

“Will you…” She cuts herself off, she can’t ask him like that, “Would you marry me? You know, for money, so I could get a visa?”

Diego’s eyes go really, really wide. Clearly he did not expect her to ask that question and Lila immediately decides to backtrack, “No, you’re right, that’s insane! Forget I asked, I’m sure I can work something out somehow. I just need to do a bit more research and then…”

“Yeah, ok!” Diego interrupts her firmly and Lila’s mouth snaps shut.

She stares back at him and Diego looks no less harassed than when she first asked but he also seems resolved.

Lila panics. “You really don’t have to, I’m sure there’s loads of options. And honestly, if I’m just careful about it I’m sure nobody’s going to find…”

“I’ll do it!” Diego interrupts her rambling again and Lila can’t quite believe her ears.

“Diego, it’s illegal!” She says almost desperately.

“Are you trying to talk me out of it now?” Diego asks with no small amount of exasperation. Then he laughs, but with very little humour in it, “To be honest, the United States government and I have a slightly different understanding of what illegal means in this context.”

That gives Lila pause and she raises her eyebrows, questioningly.

Diego looks down at where he starts scuffing the toe of his shoe into the grout between the tiles, his arms are still tightly crossed.

“I was born in Mexico. From what I can piece together my mother brought me over the border when I was only a few months old. She died soon after that. The only things I have my father to thank for are my siblings and my citizenship. So yeah, I’ll help you.”

-

They’ve agreed to go down to city hall the next day to apply for a marriage license. No point in delaying the process, this way they can start the visa proceedings before Lila is officially illegally in the country.

After agreeing to get married the ease with which they spent the evening flies out of the window again and they quickly retreat to their separate rooms.

Diego’s lying, still dressed, on top of his comforter waiting till he can’t hear Lila moving about anymore before he’ll head to the bathroom to get ready for bed himself.

He doesn’t regret agreeing to Lila’s plan, not really. It’s fucked up that she has to even resort to something like this to avoid getting thrown out of the country, and honestly, had she asked he would have said yes even if she hadn’t offered him money.

But it’s less messy this way, a clean business arrangement. He already feels just a little bit guilty, because he’s not sure he didn’t also agree out of some sudden selfish fear that she’d leave. He pushes that thought back down as well, because what should he have done, say no just because he can’t quite handle his feelings for her? That wasn’t really an option either.

He breathes out heavily when the light in the hall goes off and gets up from the bed to go brush his teeth.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Come over Buster: Distract me so I don't have to blackout her bullshit by drinking in the AM Rio: She's gone? Buster: 'Course Rio: How'd you manage it in the end then? Buster: Standard. She basically lost her voice trying to call me out on mine Rio: The cabin crew are welcome, like Rio: Did she take Jay back too? Buster: Yeah Buster: Only way she can actually get to me, like Rio: That's shit Rio: Think that allows you a drink Buster: Like I said, distract me now or pick me up of the floor later Rio: I can be there in like, an hour Rio: Do you want me to bring anything forreal Rio: 5 o' clock somewhere Buster: Anything you want Buster: Don't laugh but it's legit dad proofed here still right now Rio: Why would I laugh? Rio: Not to bring up the unfavourable comparison again but Rio: hardly winning dad of the year with a load of gear lying about Buster: Yeah and have you seen Chlo high? 'Cause I wish I hadn't Buster: Hilarious enough with a drink inside her Rio: I can only imagine Rio: least she can afford the 2nd nose job Buster: 😂 Rio: That's more like it Buster: I have to hit the town to buy Jay stuff she apparently desperately needs the second they land, wanna come? Rio: That's code for 'gutted I'm too hungover for a shopping spree' if I ever heard it Rio: They got creches in first class? Rio: Sure thing though, I ain't no amateur Buster: Or you know, code for I spent all the cash you gave me on myself already Buster: Oh she wishes, babe Buster: She'd have bought her mummy along if the poor woman had agreed Rio: Unlucky Rio: get that hot face cloth on and forget the world, babe Rio: 😑 Buster: Unlucky for Jay, yeah, I feel like I can hear her screaming from here Rio: Poor babe Rio: She'll be alright, air hostesses will take care of her to avoid a fullscale riot whilst Chlo is merrily skimming Grazia Buster: mimosa in hand Buster: Should be me though Rio: Yeah Rio: Next time Rio: She'll want at least a fortnight somewhere hot in the summer, yeah? Buster: Next kid, like Buster: But yeah, always something she'd rather do Rio: Don't even play Rio: Your fam will sense it from here and then it'll be all chastity belts or worse Buster: 😂 Buster: Don't trust yourself to be that creative? Buster: I reckon we could work around it Rio: Easy Rio: I got my protection on lock though unlike some Rio: Very reassuring for 'em, I'm sure 🙄😂 Buster: Calms my pulse rate down Buster: So cheers Buster: Not trying to have another kid until I'm like 30 Rio: Surprised you ain't been put off for life Rio: cautionary tale for the rest of us, like Buster: If I get a better babymama I'll be golden Buster: Besides, need a son don't I? Rio: 🙄 of course Rio: you ain't that posh, don't play Buster: Not as funny as you, like Rio: You said it, babe Buster: You hungry? Buster: I need food if I'm gonna do anything close to what Chlo wants from me Rio: I see no downside to letting you get your strength up either Buster: As long as you can keep up Buster: Where are you anyway? Rio: Home, but I just set up everything so I gotta stream first Buster: What do I have to do to get a sneak preview? Rio: Ask nicely Rio: Of course Rio: Know I'm all about politeness Buster: You want me to say please? Rio: Least you could do, really Rio: They all paying so Rio: Consider yourself lucky Buster: You can get lucky too Buster: In the shops and out Rio: Nah, focus on your favourite girl Rio: I'm good Buster: I know you are Buster: That's why you always pull my focus Rio: Not sorry Rio: Though it's a point, ain't you got work you need to be doing? Buster: There's other shit I need more, you know Rio: I feel it Buster: So, please Rio: 😍 Rio: Now, was that so hard? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: How fucking hot you are softens the blow Rio: Not my intention but I'll take it Buster: 😂 Buster: You know what you do to me Rio: Yeah, you're pretty blatant, babe Buster: 'Cause you're so subtle Buster: Shut up Rio: Not a bad thing Rio: wouldn't be here if I was Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Me either Buster: Good Rio: 'Til  my conscience makes a reappearance, like Rio: but I'll do my best to schedule that for Sundays Buster: Cheers Buster: I'll do my best to sleep through then Rio: I'll wear you out Buster: Promises, promises Rio: Pshhh boy please Rio: even if I was all talk, you can hush and enjoy the attempts Buster: I am Rio: Good boy Buster: Sometimes Rio: Wouldn't be fun if you were all the time Rio: keep it interesting, give you that Buster: I could say the same to you, babe Rio: Me? Rio: 😇 always Buster: Save your lies for church Buster: Can't deny it to me Rio: awh but Rio: lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off Buster: If that's your way of telling me you ain't over your emo phase Rio: 😂 Rio: the real confession Buster: Definitely need to take you shopping now, like Rio: Imagine Rio: Still rocking Hot Topic Rio: tragic Buster: Don't Buster: Not saying you wouldn't still be hot but Buster: Couldn't be seen with you Rio: I respect that Rio: Got to have some standards Buster: According to you I ain't Rio: Well, not my fault you got poor previous Buster: Well, kind of is Buster: If you'd given into me sooner Rio: 😒 Rio: Idiot Buster: Takes one to know one, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: I don't even wanna think about 'em Buster: Let me give you something else to think about Buster: [sends own pics] Rio: DAMN Rio: 🤤 okay that worked Buster: How do I look? Good enough to seen in town with? Rio: Too good to wanna waste on town baby Rio: now who can't focus, fuck Buster: Don't. Give it all to me instead Buster: Stream later Rio: You're killing me Rio: I just won't wanna leave later, rinse and repeat Rio: it's ridiculous how distracting you are Buster: Please Rio: Fuck Rio: Okay Buster: I can promise to kick you out if that's what you need Rio: Sure you can Rio: I know you want me just as much Buster: I know you know how to annoy me Buster: So if you have to leave Rio: I'll just start calling you cute Rio: Got it Buster: Exactly Buster: But right now I want you bad I don't even care what you call me Rio: Good to know Rio: Test out some new ones, see what's a turn on and what ain't Buster: Like everything you do isn't a turn on Buster: Come on Rio: I can't Rio: Gonna make you miss me more often Buster: Good luck 'cause I'm gonna make you want me all the time Rio: Not fair Rio: got the easy job Buster: How easy? Rio: Can't tell you that Buster: Show me then Rio: I'm already coming to see you instead of making money Rio: Can't say it any clearer, like Rio: [Sends vid tho] Buster: I'll make it worth more than they could Rio: I already know Rio: that's the fucked thing Buster: Anything you want, babe, you can have it Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I just want you Buster: I know Buster: Fuck Rio, I need you Rio: I'm getting an uber Rio: I can't think straight never mind drive Buster: Let me pay for it I'm already costing you Rio: You don't give up, do you? Rio: but okay Rio: just this once Buster: I won't tell anyone Buster: Don't worry Rio: I just don't want you to think it's like that Rio: like you have to Buster: I know what's up Buster: And you know I only do what I want Rio: Obviously Buster: It's alright baby Rio: Weird when you're nice Buster: I'll be a cunt to you when you get here if you like Rio: Don't have to go that hard, like Buster: Just treat you mean to keep you keen then, yeah? Rio: I mean Rio: you won't hear any complaints from me Buster: 'Cause you'll only be doing what I tell you Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: Don't let me stop us again, okay? Buster: Like you said, I don't give up Rio: Good Buster: We are Buster: So hurry that Uber up, like Rio: I'm in it Rio: 25 if we keep traffic and chat to a minimum Buster: 🍀 Buster: Save your chat for me Rio: I ain't the one trying to get ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rio: Bless him Buster: Tell him I'll pay him extra to get a fucking move on Rio: Rude! Rio: Way to make a bitch feel special, McKenna Rio: willing to drop bank on Omar too, like nbd Buster: Don't act like you wanna wait 25 minutes to touch me Rio: Got me there Rio: Stimulating as the chat as is Buster: Glad to hear it Rio: do we have to go out first? Buster: We can go out after Rio: I just need you to fuck me before I can do anything remotely productive Rio: Can't help it, like Buster: I feel it too Buster: I need you to cum for me before we go anywhere else Rio: Daddy Rio: Going to make me cum in the back of this car 'fore you've even touched me Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Buster: Omar might have something to say Rio: Least I've got jeans on Rio: how wet I am ain't for him though Buster: They better come off easier than the last pair you wore Buster: I'm not waiting any longer than I already have Rio: Thought you loved a challenge? Buster: Don't you dare play Rio: Trust Rio: deadly serious about this Buster: Good Rio: If you don't wanna fuck me on sight we got an issue tbh Buster: The only issue'll be getting you through the door first Rio: One way to give the nosy neighbours something to talk about Buster: Don't tempt me Rio: But that's my job Buster: And you're doing it so well Buster: It's killing me, babe Rio: I'll make it all better for you so soon now baby Buster: Fuck Buster: How far away are you? Rio: [Sends location on the tracking app thing] Rio: 5 minutes too long Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: Okay Rio: I gotta get out of the 24 Rio: Not just for you, though that's all that's on my mind rn Rio: doing this drive to and from work is getting boring Buster: I'll set you up in some of our square footage Rio: You reckon you got room/patience for Indie too? 😂 Buster: I might like a challenge but let's not go that far Rio: Yeah, didn't think so Rio: anyway, she's #24folyfe Buster: I do need you closer though Rio: At least we don't have to ✈ every time now Buster: Thank Christ Buster: Don't remind me Rio: Doing well but not well enough to add that commute on my day to day, like Buster: You'd have to let me bankroll you then Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Rio: You wanna buy me so bad like I'm not already yours Buster: Rio Rio: Mhm? Buster: Get in this house now I swear to god Rio: Good ears Rio: just pulled up