#for all my longterm relationship lovers out there

[hwnglx]

this combo of sag and scorpio energy in him is crazy 😵‍💫

sunghoon's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: stand still by sabrina claudio

physical traits

watery and striking eyes. (when their eyes just stand out, he thinks lighter colored or blue eyes are beautiful) classic and traditional beauty. conventionally attractive. powerful presence, turns everyone's heads. feminine and elegant. gorgeous and blinding smile. longer and flowy hair. taller height. water or fire risings! i keep seeing margot robbie or anne hathaway.

personality traits

the immediate vibe i got for sunghoon, is that he wants someone invested. and when i say invested, i mean fully. i've said this a lot at this point, but sunghoon has such a dynamic chart, which shows this clear difference in character according to who he's with. he can either be the most easygoing and laidback, or the most intense and passionate person in the room. just put his lover (or someone he deeply cherishes) next to him, and you'll literally see the gaze in his eyes change.

sunghoon wants someone who can handle his intense nature in love. someone who resembles it to a degree, because otherwise they might get overwhelmed or not understand it. he really needs his and his partners love language, and their values in relationships to correlate. he wants to feel like he shares the same passion as his lover, and not get the impression that he's the only one holding on so tightly, when his partner is just kinda meh about it all. he wants a deep and intimate connection, that goes beyond what anyone else could understand. he wants a person he can have a relationship with, that is separate from all the rest, and special and extraordinary in his life. he draws a clear line between the people he holds extra close to his heart, and his standard “friends”. there's this version of sunghoon only his lovers could tell you about.

he likes it when someone won't get intimidated by his intensity. who can hold their ground firmly, not falter under his gaze. he also likes someone who's just very affectionate and romantic. a person who won't be afraid or too shy to be direct in their display of love for him. he wants someone who knows how to love someone in a proper way, who's good at making him feel loved. i also keep hearing “mother of my children” this man is all about longterm commitment. he wants a family-oriented woman who'd be a good mother. responsible and reliable, but also soft and nurturing.

sunghoon loves the idea of a lengthy relationship. he likes sharing history and memories with his lover. i can see him liking the thought of growing old and maturing with his partner, going through various stages together. he wants his lover to be like an “인생 친구” which means lifelong friend. again, it'd give them this special ability to know each other in and out, have things or inside jokes only the two of them understand.

sunghoon also needs his lover to understand that, although he'll be incredibly zoned in on their relationship, he still has goals and achievements of his own, which he won't neglect for their connection. his job requires a lot of work and time, and the possibility of him not always being there 24/7 shouldn't be a problem for his partner. especially because, he truly wants them to trust him. he is not the type to cheat or look elsewhere if he's in a committed relationship. he wants his lover to understand that, and tolerate his personal ambitions. i can also see him liking the thought of his partner having their own ambitions. he enjoys the thought of both of them being goal-driven and hardworking, but once they come together, they can't see anything but each other. in comparison to some other people, sunghoon definitely likes his lovers to resemble him, rather than be entirely different. i can just see him and a gemini venus being extremely difficult. (funny because sunoo is one and yeah.. their relationship is rather complicated)

him as a boyfriend

+ he's a boyfriend who doesn't rush into anything. very slow burning energy. in the beginning stages, sunghoon will be very curious about you as a person. he prefers getting to know his lovers thoroughly first, really getting a grip on their character, understanding their desires and values before taking the next step. he wants to make sure you're on the same wavelength with him, and get this feeling you're the right one, before investing so much of himself into the relationship. he thinks deep and intimate connections between two people who effortlessly understand each other, require a lot of patience. you just have to know each other's every aspect, he'll definitely want to be the only one to know some secrets, you do not tell anyone else about.

he's an amazing listener. he'll enjoy sitting there listening to you talk about yourself for hours and not get tired of it. literally stare in to your soul while you keep rambling. only interrupt you to ask questions and deepen the conversation.

he's definitely a sucker for intimacy, especially in places where he, and no one would expect it. like whispering things in his ear in public could probably make this man melt. i also keep seeing him hold hands with his partner in public and literally squeeze the hell out of their hand, in this possessive manner. like he's telling you “you're mine and with me.” in a wordless manner. there'll be a lot of silent communication between you, you'll just get each other right away.

there's also a very considerate and calm energy to him, where he'll display this source of peace for you. this is something i've observed about scorpio placements, especially venus', they're very.. understanding towards overemotional people. they can handle people's emotional outbursts, and mostly don't get consumed by it. on the contrary, a lot of the times, they quietly allow you to get your emotions and frustrations out, validate your feelings and not make you feel overdramatic, and try to talk things out calmly with you. let's say sunghoon gets into a fight with his partner; if you start getting angry and throwing things and losing your mind, he's the type to just sigh and sit there and control his own emotions silently while listening to you. he'll probably give you a little time to calm down, and once he feels you're ready to be talked to again, he'll try and talk the matter out in a more rational manner. very emotionally mature and compassionate energy in him. (interesting since i remember in my collective enha ideal type reading, he seemed to struggle with this. he seems to have grown a lot)

- sunghoon can be very hot or cold. it's like once he's with you, everything's great and a fairytale and you feel amazing, but once he's away, it's easy to feel like he forgot about you. he's very busy, so it can be a common occurrence for him to forget replying to you, not talk to you for days, make you feel left alone, because his love can be quite addicting. it's easy to feel dependent on scorpio venus', because they literally make you feel like life without them would be awful. even if you confronted him about this, he could get discontent with you giving him such a hard time about something he can't help. sunghoon draws a clear line between his personal and professional life, which he wants his partners to respect.

i do not see him cheating or doing anything wild, he's extremely loyal. he will not look at any other woman if he's a taken man. however, sunghoon still wants freedom, he doesn't enjoy feeling like you suffocate him while he's working (like spamming him with calls and texts because he isn't answering while busy, that'd frustrate him) yet at the same time he got you to the point of naturally clinging to him. “you made me be like this!�� is what i can imagine his partner accusing him of. it can just get draining to deal with someone, who has such contrasting values when it comes to love, and his own ego and career.

[atouchofireland]

PR Perception & Consequences: Luke Newton

[This analysis is from the perspective of a lover of story with a Masters in Publishing & Writing, with ties to a publicist with 20+ years experience.]

I didn't watch Bridgerton until a while after s2 came out. Partly because I hesitate with new shows and mainly because I hate waiting years between seasons.

I LOVE Derry Girls because it clicks with my mainly Irish family. So, I knew who Nicola was as Clare before watching Bridgerton, but nothing else.

That leads into the LN assumptions.

From what I can tell as a general viewer of the show and Social Media, he came from musical theater and Disney stuff in the UK before landing the Colin role in his mid 20's.

During this time, aka 2019/2020-2023, LN had a gf named Jade for that whole time.

Media reported that they'd broken up some time at the end of filming in June 2023. Then, there is some reports saying he got with his current partner, mere months later in at least 8/23 if not sooner. (Nic is known for keeping her even longterm relationships a secret, but Luke's previous gf would post a few pics and vids here and there.)

This is where PR should've started to protect his image before the first premiere and press tour even happened.

At this point, late 2023, Luke has not posted even a hint of his supposed app gf anywhere. Then he leaves for a 6-month world tour with his friend, of 5 years that he has easy chemistry with, but now they both are not with longtime partners.

LN leaned into the romantic press interviews with his friend because he was comfortable with her and it promoted the show.

Here's where his friends as PR shows dumbass judgment.

I believe I saw something about the app gf attending the 1st premier in London, before the tour, but it wasn't paparazzi-d. Whereas, after the WT, the 1st LN news was pap photos with this girl at the after party 2nd half premier. Basically, PURPOSEFULLY taking the romance illusion away from the couple that the actors built for the months leading up to this.

Bad PR leads off from here: self-described introvert Luke goes to Milan with 'gf',' fair enough it's fashion week. But, THEN he's BACK in Italy on "holiday." Getting paparazzi pics of him they didn't even get on his World Press Tour. Then possibly in Greece, continuing some vacation? So much of this shit makes zero sense both PR-wise and normal person-wise.

For example of good PR capitalizing on lead roles: Nicola is on a movie rn, she's part of A-list representation, she's possibly a future bond girl. Johnny Bailey was shooting a drama, Wicked, and his Bridgerton cameos at the same time. Simone is starring in a motion picture out soon.

The rumors of LN's friend Rory running his socials is horrible because: 1) Rory seems like a douchebag who wants more shirtless pictures of himself on his non-famous account than of his gf. 2) He puts Luke's skinny "similar to his gf" wannabe influencer gf on his instagram without hyping up any on Luke's actual work and projects.

This all gives off the vibe of this friend being resentful, taking advantage of Luke breaking up with his longterm gf and deciding to get more built for the show, and convincing him he needs the "hot rebound" for himself and image. As always, that gross straight man is wrong. All his friends say he's so sweet and quiet and genuine.

How I perceive him from his own press: Had a supportive, longterm gf who was also an aspiring actor as they were both coming up in their early 20's. LN started working out so much to get lean & abs to feel on-par with the other Bridgerton guys. Him and his gf grew apart, maybe even felt resentment, while LN was shooting so long for BS3. Shooting raps.

This is the overall perception that makes me and I think many others so mad: Luke had a sweet, curvy, talented gf for 4 years. And he was a thicker tall guy, not fat, not skinny, not ripped but amazingly curvy in the male way that's rare. He got all built for Bridgerton when Nic refused cuz it isn't necessary for the characters. And after all this real-life and on-screen romance with a mid-size woman, after becoming a "muscly man," he shows up with a stick-figure wanna be dance influencer.

His actions of allowing his pr/friend to paint him as if he gets "hot women" now that he's "desirable" is what makes me fucking sick about the perception of him and I think this is why so many Bridgerton fans in the SM sphere got the ick.

[lassieposting]

Chinhands

Okay so like, long post incoming, but here me out:

This isn’t my first post on Astarion & CPTSD – there’s this one here, about some of the more obvious symptoms he might end up dealing with during his healing journey; there’s also this one, about some ways his lover might use magic to help support him in a world without therapy; and then there’s this one, which is headcanons rather than meta, but has my thoughts on vampires as camouflage predators, and how Astarion might change physically as he goes from starving to well-fed. Those kinda tie into this so, linked for easy context.

But those posts all focus on the visible aspects of CPTSD – the symptoms everyone around you can pick up on. And. The thing is. A lot of the longterm effects of extensive trauma are actually not outwardly obvious. They're quiet. Insidious. Fundamental facets of your worldview become warped and twisted by your traumatic experiences. You look at the world - or at least, the parts of the world affectd by your trauma - through a goddamn funhouse mirror, and that's your normal. And part of the healing process - I'll pause here for us all to share a collective bitter laugh - is realising just how broken your idea of How The World Works is, and having to relearn from the ground up how things actually function outside of your trauma bubble.

So, y’all know what I think Astarion would struggle with without even realising it?

Disordered eating. A messy, complicated, love-hate relationship with food and how feeding makes him feel about himself.

Like. Most living things are hardwired to avoid certain negative experiences. A creature that has starved will often hoard food to ensure they won’t starve again. A creature that has fallen from a great height and experienced physical pain will be more careful to avoid other falls in future. A social creature that has experienced humiliation or disgrace will be distressed by those feelings, and adjust their behaviour to try and avoid feeling them again. The more bad experiences we have with a specific stimulus – drinking blood, in Astarion's case - the more we associate that stimulus with the negative physical or emotional consequences we will suffer, and the more avoidant we are likely to become.

As a real life example: an autistic child who talks enthusiastically about her special interest and is met with mockery and social rejection by her classmates will learn to hide her authentic self from the world to try and fit in: the pain of the bullying motivates her to distance herself from her own autistic tendencies, which are an essential component of how her brain works. She ends up trapped between her deep desire to engage with her special interest, and the training she has received from her peers that to do so is bad, unacceptable, social suicide. She learns to hate her autistic behaviours for causing her to be bullied, but she still feels the need to engage in them.

Astarion is in the same boat. He craves blood anyway as a vampire, and the hunger is made all the more intense because he is starving. But for the first 200-ish years of his undeath, we know that feeding has been a deeply unpleasant experience for him, and that will have left a deep imprint on how he sees the act of feeding, how it makes him feel. To eat is one of the most basic instincts of every single living (and, in this case, undead) creature, a fundamental source of positive emotions (satisfaction, fullness, satiety, enjoyment, happy taste buds etc) with a massive impact on a creature's quality of life - and Cazador has gleefully warped and twisted the very concept into an attack on his spawns' personhood. He uses it to dehumanize and humiliate them, and that's all they've ever known. So they will have learned to associate feeding with deeply negative emotions - humiliation, shame, disgust, fear and pain. For example:

STARVATION

Astarion tells us that Cazador fed him just barely enough to keep him functioning. Starvation is a trauma that, on its own, is likely to cause disordered coping behaviours in the victim. We actually see some of these in-game:

Astarion keeps a sizeable stash of bottled blood in his tent. This is an example of resource hoarding – he’s afraid of starving again, and he’s stockpiling food as a safeguard.

Individuals who have suffered starvation (or who have been forced to follow a restrictive diet by a parent as adolescents) often find that they struggle to impose healthy limits on their own food intake once food is plentiful lor they age out of the parent’s dietary control). We see this in Astarion during the bite scene: he can kill the player character if they fail a roll to convince or force him to stop feeding before he drains them dry.

We know that Astarion's feeding time is late at night – he tells the player that he’ll come to them for a meal once they’re in their bedroll and everyone is asleep. This seems like a strange choice, considering Astarion's tenuous self-control, but my personal headcanon is that he feeds so late because, like many starved creatures, he’s food-aggressive. Cazador absolutely seems the type to throw an insufficient number of rats to his starving spawn for them to fight over: Astarion is likely used to having to viciously defend his paltry meal, or one of his siblings will take it from him. So the player starts out offering him breakfast along with everyone else – but they’re interrupted, Gale nearly loses a hand when Astarion snaps at him, and the decision is made to feed him separately, so he doesn’t feel threatened.

SENSORY DISTRESS

Astarion talks about being compelled to choke down the blood of bugs and putrid rat corpses - at one point idly remarking that, "I've eaten things that would disgust most vultures." - so we know that a lot of what Cazador was feeding him was a) already dead and b) actively going off, and that offers up so many potential sensory triggers.

After death, blood begins to coagulate, clotting and curdling into a semisolid - that could be a texture issue.

Rotting corpses smell vile - that could be a scent issue.

We know putrid corpse blood doesn't taste good to vampires - iirc he calls it sewer water or dirty ditch-water, in comparison to "plonk" (woodland animal blood) and "fine wine" (the player character's blood).

Corpses often also come with the lovely bonus of maggots, which are a hardcoded signal to humans (and presumably elves) that food is no longer fit for consumption. The disgust response is instinctive, to make us avoid eating the rotten item. But Astarion would’ve had to choke it down anyway – probably wanting to hurl all the while.

NEGATIVE ASSOCIATIONS

Astarion tells us at one point that if he refused the disgusting carcasses Cazador gave him, his alternative was being flayed alive. That makes the disgusting food a choice, and one he doesn't really have any choice but to make. He would also need to be fed after his torture sessions in the kennels, to give him enough blood to heal himself before being sent out after more victims. This would eventually build a link in his mind between being fed and being hurt.  

There's also a dialogue where Astarion explicitly tells us that Cazador would suggest they dine together after Astarion brought someone home for his master to feed on. The alternative, as above, is getting flayed. So that makes a horrible three-way feedback loop of negative emotions: being forced to prostitute himself -> being forced to feed -> being tortured -> being forced to feed again -> and round and round again.

BODY IMAGE

This one is more headcanon than theory and ties into my other post about vampire biology, but it's still a point worth mentioning imo. Astarion's life has essentially revolved around sex, however unwilling, for 200 years, and that's become intrinsically linked with his identity - the way he sees himself, the way he interacts with the world. He makes several comments that all but explicitly state that he views himself as a prostitute, and his entire survival strategy in the outside world hinges on his ability to essentially leverage his attractiveness and his bedroom skills to snag himself a smitten protector. Iirc, there's a point in one of the breakup dialogue trees where he'll bitterly refer to sex as his only talent and say that he knows what people think he's good for. He is putting on an act almost constantly, always thinking about how best to portray himself to get the outcome he wants, how to make use of his target's desire for him.

And? This man has, for 200 years, been taught that people like him starving. He knows that the dehydrated-muscle, prominent-collarbone, deathly-pale hungry-eyed vampire look works for him. He's been found consistently desirable even though he doesn't look anything like a healthy, well-fed vampire should, and for someone who's so reliant on being hot, that's going to be hard to let go of. At this point, it may well make him anxious to be so well-fed that his body functions start coming back online, that he can fill out a little to how he looked when Cazador first turned him, that his unshakeable seducer act can be disrupted by things like blushing for flattery. After 200 years of seeing your body starving and thinking that that is how you are at your most attractive, being able to far better imitate a living elf could well be quite distressing for him.

So. At this point, as the game begins, Astarion most likely mostly hates feeding. It makes him feel terrible – degraded, humiliated, disgusted – and has almost no redeeming features. The blood he’s getting doesn’t even taste good, let alone sate his hunger. Feeding him is, essentially, just another torture technique of Cazador's. And yet, he still craves it desperately – debases himself begging for it, feels pathetically grateful for the tiniest scrap he’s given, finds his mouth watering at the sight of vermin. That’s already a horrible, mixed-up place to be emotionally.

And now it's going to get more confusing for him. Enter the player character.

Astarion gets to feed on a thinking creature for the first time, and with it, an array of positive emotions and sensations he's never gotten to experience before, in all the time he’s been a vampire. For example:

SOCIAL SUPPORT

When the PC calls Astarion out for trying to sneakily bite them in their sleep, he explains that he usually feeds on animals, but he's currently too weak and slow to bring any down. This is interesting, because in his Origin, it's a nightmare about Cazador that prompts him to bite a companion. But...I don't think it's a lie. We see multiple times throughout the game that Astarion doesn't cope well with being put on the spot - he gets flustered and kind of starts rambling - but this line comes off without hesitation. It is, if not the truth, still a truth. And the PC doesn't take advantage of that admission - he's vulnerable, but the PC doesn't hurt him or try to make him pay them with sex. Instead they just...feed him.

PHYSICAL STRENGTH & MENTAL CLARITY

He explicitly tells you that he feels strong after drinking from you – and he goes straight out hunting, backing that up – and he has a surprised exclamation that his mind is “finally clear”. He’s been living with hunger-induced brain fog for centuries. He must feel like you’ve given him his brain back.

JOY

He’s sated. He just had a meal that tasted good. He's getting all those positive food feelings for the first time - a massive rush of endorphins to a brain starved of happy chemicals for two hundred years. How many things have made this man happy since he died? It would be overwhelming.

CONNECTION

Held up against how Astarion is used to being treated, this gesture from the PC is an overwhelming show of kindness and generosity. They choose to trust him - even though, as he'll admit in the graveyard, that's an objectively stupid thing to do - and they offer freely something that makes him feel good. Him, a man who's usually forced to degrade himself for "rewards" that make him feel terrible. And as if that's not enough, they accept him for what he is, continue to give him the protection of a group, and they defend him to the others in the morning. He's feeling grateful and giddy and warm for the first time in centuries, and he knows it's all thanks to you.

But

That's going to give him a lot of complicated feelings, because he still has all those negative emotions related to feeding too. And they're not going to go away just because he's found out thinking creature blood is actually nice. They're going to clash against that new enjoyment and make him feel all confused and weird and mixed up. He might still feel shame, even though he enjoyed the meal. He might still find himself wrestling with pointless dread, because he associates feeding with torture and abuse, even though he knows Cazador is miles and miles away. It's a small step towards seeing feeding in a less negative light, but that’s all. And like, up to this point he hasn’t even realised that he might be able to enjoy drinking blood, because to him, Cazador's horrors are normal. That’s all he’s ever known – the only experience of food he’s ever had as a vampire. Feeding Is Horrible And Degrading is a fundamental fact of life that he’s just starting to realise...may not actually be true. That’s like...having a rug yanked out from under his feet. Scary. Distressing. Out of control. Which could make him lean more towards avoiding feeding for a while, to get that control back.

So how do the scales start to tip more towards really enjoying feeding?

I think it would be the introduction of the social aspect. As just this once becomes regular feeding arrangement, he's going to realise that he gets the high of all those positive emotions every time he feeds from the PC, and he's going to start associating that giddy, happy feeling with them specifically. Because we know that while animal blood is Fine He Guesses, and he does get merry on bear blood at one point, it's nothing remotely close to person blood. Woodland creatures still make up a decent chunk of his diet, but he doesn't get the same emotional kick out of them.

And like. He likes feeling good like that. It's addictive. So he'll keep wanting to go back for more – making excuses to spend more time with them, with feeding being a very convenient excuse. He's creating a positive feedback loop for himself of happy chemicals and like, crush feelings, and every time he indulges, he’s unwittingly handing over tiny little fragments of trust and affection in exchange. It's difficult not to start liking someone who makes you feel good, especially if you're so unfamiliar with the feeling. He finds himself that little bit less tense around his willing midnight snack. He laughs more easily around them, finds he's more inclined to indulge do-gooder tendencies, realises he's starting to enjoy spending time with them. He doesn't necessarily realise it, but feeding is no longer just about quenching his blood thirst. It's become a bonding activity. He’s like a semiferal rescue animal, building an emotional connection with you as protector and provider. He’s learning that you’re trustworthy.

And then, as your relationship with him develops and deepens, sex gets involved, and he plays himself.

In one of the dialogues where Astarion offers the PC sex, he explicitly calls it a reward for feeding him, and flirtatiously brings up PC's biting kink - that he can tell they enjoy it when he drinks their blood. This always lowkey makes me laugh because like. Up to this point, Astarion has had no reason to ever connect feeding with sex. Cazador doesn't let him drink from thinking creatures, and since Astarion talks about his prey being "dragged away" to be fed on, it seems like Cazador generally took his meals privately, so mixing the two isn't something Astarion got from watching him. This is something he's picked up from you.

Anyway. I'm not sure which way around they happen, but during his first sex scene, Tav gets the option to encourage him to bite them again, and he will. Obviously, he's not going to turn down "vintage wine", but this also makes strategic sense from the perspective of his plan to get Tav to protect him - he's probably thinking that he's locked them down because they can't scratch this particular itch elsewhere. They now need him. Except - whoops, he actually likes sleeping with them, and he's starting to catch feelings. And because he's come to associate biting Tav with all those good feelings anyway, making it A Sex Thing just shifts his perspective a little, makes him realise that he’s getting something out of these interactions that he gets hooked on.

Feeding has become a source of emotional intimacy. He's beginning to feel loved, cared for, valued. Close to the PC. And that, to someone so utterly love-deprived, is potentially enough to make it feel more positive than negative over time.

(As a side note, I quite like the idea that it'll become a sort of self-soothing strategy for him for a while. If he's stressed or afraid or hurting, he'll nibble on the PC to remind and reassure himself that he can - that he's safe and loved and no longer starving. He'll nip at them to deliberately induce those positive feelings of emotional closeness in himself, if he thinks they'll outweigh the bad ones that come with.)

But even so, those bad associations will probably never fully go away or stop affecting him. He’ll probably still always hear Cazador's belittling laughter if someone walks in on him feeding – look at you, boy, not so proud now, are you? Crawling on the floor for vermin, how utterly pathetic. He’ll probably always wrestle with feelings of stress and anxiety after feeding for no obvious reason, because his primitive lizard brain still treats it like a traumatic experience sometimes even when he's feeding on his living, trusted lover. It’s going to take him such a long time to wrap his head around just how fucked up all the reactions Cazador trained into him are, how different from his new experiences as a free vampire.

Anyway. Idk how well I explained all these thoughts but. Yeah. Astarion + disordered eating issues.

[barbwillbrb]

I wanna draw some spice because I got a good long weekend ahead and need some silly things to draw between bigger projects. I also really wanna practice more spicy stuffs.

Some quick facts about my Tav for your consideration:

Rackal Orro:

-52 years old

- Captured on the Nautiloid alongside his twin sister.

-Half Drow (human mom, drow father. Mom was a Barbarian, dad a former cleric turned simple shopkeep. All the height/muscle comes from Mom.)

- former fighter turned paladin (Oath of Devotion). Smashes his Oath while saving the tieflings, specifically one grumpy one in particular (honestly, good riddance; it was getting in the way of getting shit done)

- Former Flaming Fist turned mercenary/adventurer prior to events of BG3; been out of the Fists for 5 years

- Burn scars from failed Fist mission 10 years ago, wherein he lost his longterm lover

- Romantic life has been meh since; a couple of relationships, none lasting more than a couple months. Ends up in slow burn with Rolan and falls HARD.

- Chaotic Good

- Service Dom/Top

Persona: Comes off a bit stoic/too serious at the start of the adventure/until the Grove party (though, to be fair, he’s just trying to keep his sister alive and is constantly assessing an increasingly disastrous situation, realizing fairly quickly that there is more going on than the tadpoles. Also, it doesn’t help that his dead lover is haunting his dreams telling him to eat even more tadpoles.). After a breakdown, mellows out, but still maintains a pretty serious attitude. Rather impulsive, especially in situations he perceives as a threat. Loyal, wary, does not forgive easily. Scratch is one of the few things keeping him sane.

- Volo Lobotomy Status: signed right the fuck up after downing a quarter bottle of whiskey. It was perfect timing; the moment Volo suggested it, Rackal had experienced:

Surprise vampire in camp; now his sister is a bloodbag.

Lae’zel trying to kill him.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel trying to kill each other.

Lae’zel fucking his sister, which he could’ve ignored if it DIDN’T WAKE UP THE CAMP

Dead lover jumpscare

All within 48 hours.

He was genuinely thinking “ FUCK IT TAKE ME OUT.”

Ref pics:

[neonscandal]

So I found this on bird app :

"i only like ge/go when it’s doomed and they have no longterm future

same with go/ge. they’re about the same to me but i think gojo bottomed more and was a total pillow princess about it in their teens. as adults they probably switched equally. i can see gojo developing his experience more with topping as an adult

either way they’re better as exes. gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult "

Can I ask your thoughts, please?

Hello, hello. Considering, canonically, they are very doomed, I suppose OP found a solid pairing? I'm starting to understand the idea of doomed toxic yaoi a lot more because who says that with their whole chest? I don't feel like I'm on my A game today but let's see if I can adequately convey my thoughts.

I think it's kinda funny, the sentiment that "Gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult,". As if Gojo didn't play some part in his motivation for defection, as if to say this defection, too, did not reek of affection. Don't get me wrong, Geto's hard right was also a great deal of ego. But, foundationally, his departure was sparked by an inability to stand shoulder to shoulder with Gojo, power wise.

Toji got the drop on Gojo which sent Geto on the offensive. After being reassured he was fine, Gojo encouraged him to press forward with the mission. Just short of extending protection to their charge to follow her own wishes, Toji violently extinguishes the life of Riko Amanai before his eyes. An opportunity that was only made possible by besting Gojo, killing him even. Geto loses his composure with this realization and is summarily and disrespectfully embarrassed and defeated. Left alive with the knowledge that he wasn't deemed enough of a threat to kill. This is on the tail end of all of Gojo's reassurances that he was fine, that they could even take on Tengen because he had Geto to rely on. But this series of events, this cocoon of hubris, challenges Geto's ability to protect anyone at all. From this he determines the best way to circumvent premature losses like Gojo, Riko and Haibara are simply to eradicate the population they're forced to put themselves on the line for.

Armies were roused to reclaim Helen of Troy and return her divine beauty back to Sparta, causing the Trojan War. Six people died, including the eponymous lovers Romeo and Juliet, due to a series of compounding events for a romance that lasted 3 days. Orpheus braved the Underworld at the chance to retrieve Eurydice. Geto betrayed himself and everything he'd stood for previously for a chance to create a world where Gojo wouldn't have to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He walked away from Gojo knowing the path he walked was twisted and, in his mind, did so irrevocably even though I know Gojo would have followed him if asked. So why didn't he ask?

The man who had been the moral compass for The Strongest Sorcerer did not abuse that influence. Even knowing he was doomed to fail in his endeavor. Even recognizing that with Gojo's power, it'd be possible. But he never asked, never chose to lead him astray. So, yes, they're tragic but does the copium not encourage us to seek out AU's where they are free of the burden of their fates and are just happy?

RE: everything else, maybe I'm an anomaly but I don't really care about people or characters' positions in relationships so I don't know that I'm someone you want chiming in on that. Like, I get people assume that positions present different archetypes that they choose to align characters with but... that pragmatism ignores a lot of nuance. I also inherently know that people use different names for ships based on this but I don't nor do I see them as having different relationship dynamics, per se, in referring to them as gego vs goge. I just look at their canonical dynamic and tend to use the more popular ship name.

Even if I agree that I could see Gojo as a pillow princess, it's less to do with the "physicality" of it and more to do with his personality. He is princess just as much as Geto is babygirl and the girls who get it, get it.

[suzannahnatters]

Trope Talk: Villain Romance

So, I was watching a villain romance cdrama again lately (GOODBYE MY PRINCESS) and it has been forcing me to think about what makes some villain romances work for me so well, and others…not so much.

First of all, a lot of my comments on romance at large, and on enemies-to-lovers as the broader trope to villain romance, apply here. For me, GOODBYE MY PRINCESS failed on a few different levels. It failed as a romance because the male lead so rarely, if ever, allowed himself to be vulnerable to the female lead that I couldn't believe either of them could genuinely be falling for each other. It failed as an enemies-to-lovers story because the female lead didn't feel like a match for the male lead in terms either of power or of morals: he was irredeemably awful and held all the power in the relationship, while she was unquenchably pure and naive, holding no power at all. But then, it also failed for me as a villain romance, and because I eat up villain romance with a spoon (WUTHERING HEIGHTS? THE LAST JEDI? LOVE BETWEEN FAIRY AND DEVIL? TILL THE END OF THE MOON? That ONE SCENE in RICHARD III? yess?) I've spent a lot of time thinking about different kinds of villain romance, how some are easier to "sell" to an audience than others - as a convincing HEA, I mean - and how each of them can and can't be made to work.

So far, I think a lot of it has to do with how the villain is built. First off, how does the villain present himself to the audience and other characters? Second, does the villain get a character arc, and is it for the better, or for the worse? Finally, does the villain have genuine feelings for the heroine, and does he achieve a happily ever after with her? Or, in other words: where does your villain come from, where is he going, and how does he get there?

There are a few different choices awaiting the author here, and some of them are, I believe, easier to sell an audience than others. Let's begin with the villain's character arc over the course of the story.

POSITIVE CHANGE VILLAIN This one is the classic: your villain love interest starts out bad, but gets better. See: Erik from THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo in the STAR WARS sequels, Nux in MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, Dongfang Qingcang in LOVE BETWEEN FAIRY AND DEVIL, Thyme in F4: THAILAND.

Redemption arcs are honestly not easy to write, because they need to satisfy both justice and mercy; and authors, like everyone else, tend to want to prioritise one over the other. It's interesting that of the five examples of this trope I listed above, not one of the three the Western examples end in a HEA; two out of three equate redemption with death. Meanwhile, I could also note how the Asian examples pull their punches when it comes to facing the villain with the consequences of his actions, and these are some of the BEST examples.

Still, audiences can pull for a character who's clearly capable of learning from his mistakes, and we all want to inhabit a fantasy where a terrible man learns better and earns his happy ending. I've written this kind of villain romance a couple of times, notably with Vasily in my gaslamp books. Basically, if you plan to have a HEA as an endgame in your villain romance, a positive arc is the best way to make a longterm relationship convincing.

ANTIHERO WITH IMAGE PROBLEMS This one is a bit more complicated. The love interest starts out well and gets better, but along the way he struggles with a dark side and an unfortunate predilection for angry black clothing and eyeliner. He isn't so much as a villain, as a well-meaning antagonist desperately trying not to live up to his dark reputation. See: Tantai Jin from TILL THE END OF THE MOON, but also Galadriel Higgins from THE SCHOLOMANCE books by Naomi Novik, who is in a very similar predicament though not part of a villain romance.

This one is tricky to write, because there aren't a lot of ways a genuinely well-meaning person is going to convincingly pose as an existential threat to the universe. Both TTEOTM and the SCHOLOMANCE books pull it off by invoking the future, either through time travel or through prophecy: the antihero is going to become the Dark Lord/Lady and destroy the world. This makes them a target in the present, and gives them a threatening dark side to struggle against. In TTEOTM, Tantai Jin is torn between his vindictive impulses to revenge himself on those who have wronged him, and his natural longing for the love of others. In this case, it's not so much that he's a villain intrinsically, as that he plays that role in the heroine's head.

I've never written one of these, except as a stage in a positive change arc, but it's a really fun character type that I'd genuinely love to see more of.

NEGATIVE CHANGE HERO This is another classic: the hero who lives long enough to see himself become the villain. See: Anakin Skywalker from the STAR WARS prequels, Heathcliff from WUTHERING HEIGHTS, or Wang So from SCARLET HEART RYEO. If the Antihero With Image Problems withstands the temptation to become a villain, then this character succumbs with more or less struggle. He ususally also doesn't get the girl. In face, the heroine often doesn't survive this sort of story at all.

Audiences have less trouble with this kind of story, because it can come across as properly cautionary. "If you fall in love with someone who gets a villain arc, you will die, and it is probably your fault." Everyone is happy, except the characters. Personally, I think this is realistic, because I don't think a thorough-going villain CAN be a stable longterm relationship; but just once, instead of dying, I really would like to see the heroine nope out and go to live her life in peace and quiet, as happens in the wonderful Daisy Ridley OPHELIA film.

I've actually never written one of these, either, mostly because I've never been able to bring myself to write a tragedy. But I do love reading them.

UNREPENTANT VILLAIN Or, Bad Man With a Crush. This is another really common iteration of the trope, but it's usually played from the point of view of the male hero, and the heroine usually doesn't reciprocate the villain's interest in any way. The great exception to this, of course, comes in Shakespeare's RICHARD III, where the unrepentant villain convinces the widow of one of his murder victims to marry him because he's THAT GOOD. Watching Laurence Olivier in this role at 13 may have been a formative moment of my life. Other examples are thick on the ground: Frollo from THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, Scarpia from TOSCA, the Darkling in SHADOW & BONE. Heck, I've written at least one of these myself.

Again, audiences expect this kind of villain either not to have his feelings returned or, if they are, to see either the heroine or the villain die by the end. In fact, this villain is the sort most likely not to have genuinely romantic feelings for the heroine at all; it's usually simply lust. The only example I mentioned where the villain arguably does have more complicated feelings for the heroine than a mere appetite for sex and power, and where she is tempted to reciprocate, is the one written by a woman, SHADOW & BONE - because a female writer is going to treat her heroine as a more fully orbed person, and insist on male characters treating her the same way.

-

The second question to ask when writing a villain romance is: how does the villain present himself to others, including the audience? Again, there are a few options here, but in any case I think one of the most important ingredients, if you're going to make the audience care about the villain, is a sense that the villain COULD be a better person than he is.

SHEEP IN WOLF'S CLOTHING The villain projects a terrifying image, but deep down he has a heart of gold. Note that this is not about character arc (for instance, this describes both Tantai Jin, who is an antihero on a positive arc, and Wang So, who is a hero on a fall arc). Rather, it's about how other characters, and the audience, view the character throughout most of the story.

A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing is easier to "redeem" because half the work is done when you show that after all, the character is better than we thought, and doesn't need as much work to be redeemed. For this reason, it's a really good choice in any sort of villain romance, because you get someone who LOOKS bad but is in fact plausible as someone who IS capable of changing and learning.

Vasily from my Miss Dark series is definitely a sheep in wolf's clothing, which is extremely fun to write. Vasily's had a traumatic change of heart which has taken away his taste for blood, treachery, and power. His habits haven't quite caught up with his heart, yet, and his determination to hold onto a semblance of power and terror makes him desperate to playact as a villainous vampire prince even though he's none of those things any longer.

SHEEP IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING I was nearly not going to include this variant at all, because where's the villainy in that? But then I remembered Anakin Skywalker. Anakin has a dark side, like Tantai Jin, which he gives into on occasion, but the prophecy that he will bring balance to the Force seems to predict a bright future for him. And he genuinely is a well-meaning person, who only wants to protect the people he cares about. For most of the story, Anakin is a good person and an upstanding Jedi with a bright future. This only makes his eventual downfall more tragic.

While how the villain presents himself is not always linked to a particular arc, this one is, since it requires a genuine hero to begin with. As I mentioned above, this kind of fall usually spells death for the heroine. I think this particular villain romance tends to be underexplored, because the freaks who like villain romance aren't into the aesthetic of a genuinely good man being corrupted, while those who write the downfall arc usually aren't into the aesthetic of villain romance. Nobody has ever written a romance about the Macbeths, and this strikes me as a missed opportunity.

WOLF IN WOLF'S CLOTHING This villain is exactly as bad as he appears on the outside, but if he's lucky, big changes are coming for him. In LOVE BETWEEN FAIRY AND DEVIL, Dongfang Qingcang is about to have his cold dead heart magically melted. In FALLING FOR INNOCENCE, Kang Min-Ho is literally given a new one. As a Christian, I love seeing fantasy elements used to explain why the wolf in wolf's clothing is suddenly forced to trade a heart of stone for a heart of flesh, because in Christianity the only way this ever happens is through a literal miracle.

And I do think this kind of villain IS difficult to redeem for his HEA without some kind of miracle, because he's genuinely done some dreadful things, and he's determined not to repent for any of them. Kylo Ren from the STAR WARS sequels is a really excellent example of a Wolf in Wolf's Clothing: when Rey spits at him, "You're a monster!" he responds almost proudly, "Yes, I am." In a way, the Wolf in Wolf's Clothing's honesty is his one redeeming feature: he may be terrible in almost every way, but he never pretends to be a good man. This is something that the next option on the list lacks altogether.

WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING This villain looks like a good and upright person, but it's all a facade. In reality, he's conniving, ruthless, and manipulative, and whether he's a "hero" on a negative arc or a straight-up Unrepentant Villain, the story is about to unmask him as the bastard he is.

Western literature has a whole array of this type of character, and they're usually the smooth hypocrites of the canon: TOSCA's Scarpia, HUNCHBACK's Frollo, MEASURE FOR MEASURE's Angelo, KNIVES OUT's Ransom. There's just something particularly evil about someone who sees and experiences true goodness and sees it as his opportunity to mask his evil deeds, and that's why we recognise such people as irredeemable. This is why BLUEBEARD is one of the trickiest fairytales to retell, at least if you're interested in a HEA - because Bluebeard, unlike the Beast or Hades or any of the other dubious bridegrooms of fairytale literature, commits awful crimes while pretending to be an ordinary, upright businessman.

This is also where we find GOODBYE MY PRINCESS's Li Chengyin, who marries this with a corruption/fall arc. Very early on in the story, we see that although Chengyin has genuine feelings for the heroine, he's fully capable of betraying her and murdering her family for purely political motivations. At first, Chengyin is neither experienced nor hardened in evil, but he absolutely will betray anyone in his path if it will benefit his plans.

This sort of villain is particularly difficult to redeem, because he's someone who has approval and love already but chooses to destroy everyone around him anyway. He is also uniquely enraging, because we've all known people this terrible in real life - from high profile teachers and carers being caught in ongoing sexual predation, to that crumby ex-husband who traumatised your good friend. I don't think I've ever seen a character like this be convincingly redeemed, and while I think it COULD be done - I do have a Bluebeard retelling of my own up my sleeve - I do that, as with the Wolf in Wolf's Clothing, it would have to come with some kind of fantastical/miraculous explanation.

And in the end, let's face it, it's always most cathartic to see this sort of person get their comeuppance.

-

Third and finally, is your villain romance going to get a happily ever after? I'm one of those people who will get a lot of fun out of a romance that ends badly, like SCARLET HEART RYEO, or even something that isn't a romance at all, like RICHARD III and the ill-fated Anne Neville. But whatever you pick, I'm begging you, be very clear about whether the villain has genuine feelings for the heroine or not, and don't reward some horrible person who's never convincingly expressed care for another, with any kind of romantic validation.

HEA VARIATIONS Maybe your villain and heroine make a match of it. Most of the time this is because the villain undergoes a positive character arc to earn his happy ending, and I've got to say, this is a very sensible choice. I personally do not need to see an unrepentantly terrible person get any kind of longterm romantic relationship, either because he's trapped/deceived the heroine or because he's corrupted her to become as bad as himself; I honestly don't think that terrible people CAN have a successful longterm relationship. That said, I've written a relationship where the villain DOES make the love interest worse, but where ultimately the genuine love, empathy, and trust between them ultimately does drag both of them back to the light.

TRAGIC VARIATIONS There are a great many more options available here. The main thing I would say is that you have to give an ending that is justified by what comes before.

A common choice is to give the villain a positive arc culminating in a heroic death. I've seen this done well (FURY ROAD). I've seen it done terribly (RISE OF SKYWALKER). Personally I feel that unless the themes absolutely demand this, you should avoid it, because too often it comes across as the writers arbitrarily ridding themselves of a character they don't know what to do with.

Another common choice is to give the villain a negative arc culminating in the heroine/love interest's death. I've seen this done in ways I don't hate. In RICHARD III, Richard kills literally everyone he touches. In SCARLET HEART RYEO, death is a realistic result of the heroine's trauma and closes the door definitively on the villain's hopes for reconciliation; but it also returns her to her far better life in the future, so it becomes a glimmer of hope for her (though not quite enough). Too often, however, this choice carries with it sexist overtones. Death becomes the heroine's punishment for the crime of loving a bad man (or something else equally fatuous), while the villain is "punished" only by having to live without her.

What about a negative arc culminating in the villain's death? Well, I strongly disliked the choice made in SHADOW AND BONE, in which the heroine guts the villain while hissing "there is no redemption"; to me it was lacking in either tragic catharsis OR eucatastrophe. I think you CAN have a satisfying ending in which the heroine or somebody else kills the villain, but it needs to be an expression of catharsis or eucatastrophe, and we definitely need to feel that the villain is beyond saving - which, if you've made him a genuine romantic possibility, is often hard to feel.

I love the ending of WUTHERING HEIGHTS, in which the villain dies frustrated after realising that after all, cruelty and abuse DIDN'T have to turn him into a villain; he then reunites with the ghost of his equally terrible love interest. I also love the ending of OPHELIA, in which Ophelia, realising that Hamlet cannot be redeemed from his quest for vengeance, quietly nopes out and goes to live a happy life on her own. And then, there's the gold standard for bittersweet endings, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, in which the villain doesn't get the girl, but neither of them have to die, and her compassion for him causes him to go off and live a better life on his own. I think the thing all these have in common is that even though none of them end with the couple together, they afford the whole story a sense of hope: cycles of abuse are broken, some people get better than they deserve, and even those that don't are doomed by their own actions, rather than being killed off in a way that feels punitive or vindictive. And I feel that this is an essential ingredient of tragedy: that justice arises naturally out of the villain's own actions rather than being imposed by some righteous warrior.

PUTTING IT TOGETHER Some of these options are easier to sell the audience than others. For instance, a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing on an Unrepentant Villain arc is absolutely not good material for a HEA romance, while a Sheep in Wolf's Clothing on a Positive arc is probably your best bet (it's a classic for a reason). Others, like a Wolf in Wolf's Clothing on a positive arc, may require careful handling to ensure that the audience is happy to come along for the ride. Whatever you choose, however, it pays to be conscious of which tropes you're using, where the audience has seen them before, and what they expect to see happen to the characters that enact them. This doesn't mean that you can't defy audience expectations, of course; just that it might take a little more work to bring the audience along with you on the journey that you've planned, and that it might not be wise to pick all the worst possible options and expect the audience to embrace the character in question. (cough Li Chengyin cough).

[gemsofgreece]

sorry if it is a weird question but what do you thinks of the survey that found out greece was the most sexually active country in the world ? I always found that hard to believe because first Latinos exist lol, and secondly i always had this image of greece as a strongly christian country like armenia or romania. Is the survey bullshit or is hookup culture that prevalent here ?

Oh come on Anon, haven’t you heard of the “Greek lover” and the “Greek kamaki” (Greek-style flirting)? 😉😂😂

Jokes aside, nah most Greeks do like having a lot of sex. Greece does not have as a widespread hookup culture as NW Europe but sex is not dependent only on that. Greeks, like some other Mediterraneans ie Italians, Spaniards, French, are perceived as warm, expressive , touchy feely and very passionate people who often experience their emotions intensely and this perhaps leads to relationships with a lot of physical intimacy that counterbalances the fewer hookups.

Even culturally, a man is viewed as more successful if he has a lot of game or if he’s having a lot of sex in his longterm relationship. It’s not the same with the women oF cOUrsE, however even a woman not having sex or having too little sex starts being viewed as “miserable”, “lonely” or “weird”. (Rule of thumb to help you understand: in Greece everyone gets mocked / judged no matter what they do or don’t do. If you exist or have existed at some point in time, you are getting judged. There’s no getting away from it.)

As for the religion, look, first of all I know you will see Orthodox pages on the internet saying how the Orthodox church opposes to premarital sex but what they don’t tell you is how (Greek / Eastern? Can’t speak on the behalf of the Slavonic) Orthodoxy is one of the least intrusive to your privacy Christian doctrines. So, it may have some strict teachings but you can leave them behind and keep believing in the way you see fit and it does not shun you out of its community - this is against its philosophy to my understanding, neither does it have so much access to your private life that it would put you on the spot for all that, unless you welcome this, like if you make the choice to go to a priest and of all things choose to tell him you have had a lot of premarital sex and ask his opinion, well yeah then he will probably advice you against it but… we don’t do that unless we feel like reevaluating our choices ourselves and we just need further guidance from there. Despite what you may see on the internet, the Greek Orthdox are WAY less likely to not have sex for religious reasons than, say, Catholic Latinos or the Evangelists. And for all reasons that a Greek may choose to not have sex, a religious one is the least common for sure.

Regarding the survey, this was made by Durex. So perhaps it mostly shows that Greeks had the most frequent protected sex (thank goodness). In addition to everything else I said for generally loving sex, Greeks may have more protected sex even in longterm relationships because they want to avoid having kids or more kids due to financial reasons. For all the sex Greece is supposedly having, we are having no kids. I also saw another survey that said Greece was above average in the number of sexual partners and it ranked in the 15th place in the world but higher than some nations like France, which may seem like a surprise. Still, it wasn’t the TOP 1, it was in the top 15. So maybe it’s what I said, more sex inside a relationship. Or maybe it is that you can never be sure with these surveys, let alone that participants may be exaggerating their answers, so I can’t guarantee you that “yeah Greece is definitely the top first most sexually active” but I do think it must be generally high in the rankings.

[julienbakerstreet]

hi tumblr user julienbakerstreet!!!! thoughts on the new unreleased lucy love song presumably abt jb?? also any thoughts on it relating to h/w in particular?? first time hearing that song my brain immediately went to them I NEED TO KNOW IF IM ALONE HERE OR NOT!!

these bits in particular :>

first of all im so honored to be the go-to blog for the intersection of julien and lucy and sherlock holmes. this means everything to me, my brand has been established successfully

#1 absolutely CRAZY of her to sing this on international lesbian day and dedicate it to lesbians. their relationship is the best thing to happen to queer music since tchaikovsky.

#2 best friends to lovers anthem. will define homoerotic friendships for decades to come.

pursuant to #2, YES i'm so with you. besides the lines you pointed out i want to add "If I were a gambling man, and I am/You'd be my best bet" ... no context needed. and "I love your body/I love your mind/They will change/So will mine" and the "you are my pack a day" line comparing love to addiction. the acknowledgment of the uncertainty and change inherent in longterm relationships combined with a deep desire for permanence and putting your faith in a person rather than an idea or an institution... everyone go listen to this and think about the beginning of STUD where they don't yet know this chance meeting will define the rest of their lives, juxtaposed with sweet thoughts of a joint sussex retirement.

also can we talk about how she also sang hot & heavy last night? that is a FINA/EMPT song to me and i have way too many thoughts about it. she also sang trust, which is of course also about them.

(for anyone not painfully aware of lesbian indie music drama this is the song in question and the context is lucy dacus is heavily heavily rumored to be in a relationship with julien baker. full lyrics here)

[midnightsapphire]

⚠️ mentions of death, grieving, etc. ⚠️

imagine yourself grieving the loss of your partner after a longterm relationship, their death unexpected and too much to handle. you tried everything, therapy, counciling meetings, but nothing filled the ache in your heart at the loss of your lover

for months, months turning into years, you texted their number. explaining every detail of your day, what emotions you were feeling, how dearly you missed them so

the green text boxes on your phone indicated that their number was no longer in use, the taunting automated system reminding you day by day, message by message that they were no longer with you.

you swore to yourself you'd even delete the recorded message of their voicemail, but always forgot to do so

now imagine your surprise when the next message you send flashes a taunting blue text box, surprising you that the number was in use again.

"my apologies, but you seem to have the wrong number." it responded as you hurriedly apologize and move to block the number

but you couldn't.

your thumb hovering over as another notification blocks your screen, accidentally opening another response from the new stranger

"i do not know who you were trying to send all these messages to, and forgive me for prying after an onslaught of them have been sent to my new number. but if there is anything you need, i'll always be here."

and thus it starts. both of you sharing your burdens, neither asking questions too personal but also not letting the other shy away from their stresses

you learned he was the second youngest in his family, burdened by his family succession that his eldest brother fails to take responsibility for. his older half-sister estranged from them, a neglectful and ill father, his shoulders heavy from carrying the weight of his family name all on his own, the insecurity of losing one eye (which you expressed sympathy for after learning it was from a rough housing gone wrong)

in turn, you told him about your grief, your stress from your own daily life, even the moments you struggle to get out of bed.

but he assured you, waking up and breathing every morning and thus after was couragous enough with what you're going through.

you learned he studied fencing and philosophy, his sister with entomology, his brother the wastrel, his elderly emotional support dog, Vhagar, who he graciously sends pictures of when he could. by the area code, you knew you lived in the same area, not knowing how truly close he was to your location.

it was his idea to meet up after months of speaking, opting for a coffee shop right in the middle of the both of you.

nothing prepared you for seeing the beauty that was him, platinum hair straightened to perfection, long black overcoat hugging his figure, the eye patch snugly draped over his wounded eye (and you swore the scar peeking out from under it added to his charm).

you swore you saw his breath hitch when you made eye contact, giving him a soft smile as he stood from his chair, ever so politely taking your hand in his and placing the softest kiss to your knuckles as his good lilac eye met yours.

"it is a pleasure to finally meet you. i'm aemond."

[ninyard]

Could we have more about rowan or paris idk hc, love life and etc if you don’t mind, i love your ocs sm !!

oh thinking about this. thinking about my boys in love!!!!!

rowan? rowan has a lot of guilt about love and so i think it's really difficult for him to settle into a normal relationship, or to even admit that he has feelings for another man. i actually think for quite a while after he comes home, he struggles a lot with his sexuality again because he's spent so long burying it down that when it starts to come up for him again, it comes up with a lot of difficult feelings and memories and it... almost feels like a punishment for him. when he finds someone, and starts to get close to them, these feelings that feel like love or a crush end up getting confused with something wrong or dirty or inappropriate or sinful. he definitely swears himself off of love for quite some time, thinking it's just not for him. but at some point he breaks, he finds peace in his religion again, he speaks to other queer people who were able to find a space in their spirituality where their queerness can sit comfortably. being on the foxes and meeting a whole bunch of fucked up kids with fucked up pasts and fucked up relationships with their families, and sexualities, and existences? it's healing, at some point.

(i still think a lot about rowan casually dropping his lore into conversation at some point, like having a conversation with the foxes and offhandedly mentioning that he was in conversion therapy and the victim of religious institutional abuse like 🤪✌️)

paris is a lover, but he's really oblivious sometimes. you could kiss his stupid face and tell him you love him and he would still be like... as friends?

paris loves his friends, and while he's a tough nut to crack to get to know, once you know him, he'd have you questioning constantly "what are we?". He cuddles, he hugs, he'll fight tooth and nail for anyone that he loves. he had a longterm girlfriend in high school, but they broke up just before he left for edgar allan on pretty good terms and it was a mutual agreement, no bad feelings. it came about as they both realised they were going to opposite sides of the country for college, they were such good friends, they just both knew they couldn't make it work. knowing he was going to EAU he was aware of their kind-of "social media" policy which meant they wouldnt even really be able to speak at all. he called her when he was in town after coming back from eau for the week or two he was there, and they hooked up, but it was weird - she knew something was wrong, he didn't want to talk about it, and then it wasn't long before he moved to california afterwards.

for the couple months before he started classes at USC, he was seeing a guy who was on the football team. it was a very no-questions-asked kind of deal that they had, the footballer wasn't out, and paris wasn't emotionally able for anything serious at that stage. the guy he was sleeping with didn't ask him much about who he was, and paris didn't really care enough to get to know him any better either. he hated it, in a way, being so emotionally unavailable with someone, feeling so disconnected personally with someone he was sleeping with, but at that point he didn't really care. it didn't mean anything for him, it was just a stress release, and when they stopped seeing each other and paris started going to training and eventually to classes, he really started to... push his feelings inwards a little bit. he reminded himself to stay guarded, and for a while after that he didn't let anybody in too close again. a couple of nameless casual hookups here and there, but nothing serious.

paris is really flexible when it comes to labels and types of relationships he's interested in. he's done it all, really, and he's pretty much okay with anything so long as everyones comfortable. he finds it hard to be vulnerable in serious relationships, and usually just opts for hookups and one night stands. he's kind of more into non-monogamous situationships because they're less "stress" for him and much easier to navigate in his eyes. once he cracks, when he hits that wall in USC where he can't hold himself together anymore, and he starts going to therapy and being more honest about what happened to him, he opens himself up to the idea of dating again.

paris' dating life is confusing, because on the one hand he wants to be loved, but on the other hand he's forgotten how to be loved, how to act when he feels loved. he is so affectionate and cares so much but he can't let anyone in close enough to show it. same as rowan, he gets there eventually, but its a slow journey, that he keeps rushing himself into and either hurts himself or the other person in the process.

(@joanofexys knows a bit about how he gets on in his dating life once he goes pro. but thats for another day <3)

[hwnglx]

this man is a complex person, i tried my best to explain it with my limited english heh 🥹 hope it's still an enjoyable read

mingyu's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

physical traits

youthful facial features. big, bright and expressive eyes. (i can see him liking glittery and sparkly eye make up on girls) fair complexion. athletic and firm build. fairy like but intense. strong air and fire influences. i keep seeing taeyeon from snsd.

personality traits

mingyu wants a person who's unconditionally loyal to him. i remember for my svt love reading, i got lethargic energy from him, and i think a lot of that might come from mingyu feeling misunderstood. his birth chart is so interesting, with that sun and venus in aries plus virgo mars, he can come off strong to people. but that pisces moon softens him up a lot. he is much more sensitive than one would think.

there is this big reluctance in him when it comes to being open about his inner conflicts or self doubts, because it feels like people either won't take it very seriously, or believe he'll get over it anyway, since he usually presents himself in such a confident manner. (he can also just get embarrassed about being such an emotional man) this reading surprised me, actually. mingyu seems to really want and need a person who's patient and understanding with him. who's willing to invest their time and effort into the relationship, who's okay with the relationship probably requiring more work than others, just because he seems to not be a guy who's overly comfortable or familiar with more longterm connections.

mingyu wants a lover, who can change his perception of love. who can make him believe that love is legit, and he is a person worth trying for, a person who is capable of a committed connection. i'm in his energy, and can truly feel this inner sadness. there is this feeling of being burnt out, like no one will in fact care enough about him to put in the effort.

mingyu wants a person who can open his eyes to the better version of himself. and in his eyes, that is the version of him, that is capable of loving someone boundlessly. i keep hearing “change my mind”. i also thought of the song change me by justin bieber (again lol), which hits home to an almost scary extent, for the way mingyu seems to feel. it appears to be at this almost delusional level, of sincerely hoping there is that one person out there who will help him change. he wants to be able to let go of his ego, and show his lover his more vulnerable side, without shame. yet again, i keep feeling embarrassed for him, like it's just uncomfortable. he's deep in this perception of “men shouldn't be like this.”

mingyu likes generous and selfless people, he wants someone who will display how much they care for him in an open manner. whether that is through their words, or their actions. he seems to really love the idea of this more “traditional” wife material (the empress!), someone who will know how to nurture someone's emotional needs. he wants someone capable of intimate and deep emotional connections. he's (as many pisces moons are) someone who sees himself in other people. he subconsciously tends to mirror people, so it's an essential need for him to have someone by his side, who is more comfortable with the things he still struggles with.

he also likes people who are protective over their own territory, who look after their responsibilities and obligations in a reliable manner. mingyu wants his lover to have a clear idea of what they want in life. someone who just aligns perfectly with what he wants as well. however, he finds it very charming when they can get more shy and almost childlike and 🤭🥰 all cute and giggly when in love. he likes getting a reaction out of the person he likes.

him as a boyfriend

+ this keeps coming up again and again, but mingyu will really want to let go of his insecurities when with his lover. they tend to weigh on him so much (someone check on this man ㅠ). most of his insecurity seems to be based on his actions, which makes sense with his perfectionistic virgo mars. so, in a ❤️ connection, he feels like he needs to step up his game, and do everything in his power to satisfy his lover.

he's very giving. once mingyu is in love with someone, he'll be open and expressive about his affection towards them. there is this profound desire in him to showcase his love in a direct manner, he's very passionate. his love language is mostly based on physical touch, words of affirmation and giving gifts. he has so much aries energy, which can make him come off as very self-centered, but he's at his most generous when he starts a romantic bond. i can see him buying you the most extraordinary gifts, he'll really want to impress you, and be immensely proud if you show him the happiest reaction. like he fulfilled his mission. he truly wants to be a good boyfriend.

he's also very private when it comes to his relationships. he believes it's an intimate, and special thing, that only the two of them should be involved in. mingyu will put much value into keeping the details of the relationship a secret. i can see him loving this idea of sneaking out with his lover at night, or doing things they shouldn't be doing, at inappropriate times, with no one knowing. he loves the thrill of it. the mile high club popped into my mind, so.. do with that what you want, lol.

- well, a lot of this passion can be a short-lived sensation. mingyu will be extremely invested in the beginning stages of the relationship, feel a lot of enthusiasm and drive (“you're the love of my life”), but i can see him growing tired quickly because of all the effort and patience a relationship requires. there is this vibe of, expecting you to do a lot to keep the relationship going, but not seeing himself able to remain patient enough to do the same. blaming you for not doing the things he himself isn't even doing.

there seems to be regret, and the realization that he was the main problem in many of his failed relationships. he is now realizing, that relationships shouldn't be based on passion and emotion only, but require the ability to continuously remain committed and dedicated, which is a struggle for him. so, he wants and needs his lover to do what he can't do, and teach him a less thrilling, but more consistent way to love someone.

“i know i can often mess things up and suck at relationships, but if you believe in me and don't give up on me, i know i can turn into a better man.” is what it's giving.

[poguestarkey]

theo nott and TTPD: the anthology

i have no content or writing ideas so here's TTPD: the anthology songs that make me think of theo and IF i were to make a baby fic off them what it would be about

if any stand out particularly and u want me to write feel free to request :)

...

fortnight (ft. posty) - 2 week whirlwind situationship w coworker!theo at the ministry shortly after the BoH (i actually kind of want to write this but unfortunately i do not have the time rn)

the tortured poets department - this is so theo coded in general but the typewriter line gives ravenclaw!reader who is the only one theo opens up to (who else decodes you?) but theo self sabotages (per use). second verse is sooo late night in the astronomy tower

so long, london - post grad!reader and post grad!theo, nasty breakup maybe 2 years after leaving hogwarts? after being together since like fourth year (very much hs sweetheart vibes, only have ever been w that person type beat) and then reader leaves london to go teach at ilvermorny or something.

fresh out the slammer - theo being reader's longtime hookup bud during hogwarts and then reader getting out of a long term relationship with some icky man like cormac and their first call (owl?) being theo (he's happily obliging)

guilty as sin? - i actually don't even know this song is just so sexy and so theo!!! like maybe enemies to lovers, mutual pining, reader realizing they're in love w/ h0rny for theo? but has "hated" him for so long they feel guilty about it (am i allowed to cry? about not being with him bc they have "no reason" to feel that way)

loml - gonna be mean but this is theo having a longterm partner throughout hogwarts and having all the convos about marriage and kids and then completely dropping them out of the blue following graduation and never speaking again (sorry)

the smallest man who ever lived - (this is easily my fave song and probably my favorite taylor song ever!) theo and reader having a secret relationship from 4th-5th year, going public right before summer prior to 6th year, and then theo breaking up w reader during the events of HBP (probably in like october so only a monthish into the year) (reader is unaware) and reader feeling completely betrayed (this bridge is SO SUPERIOR) and blindsided (cuz it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden)(lowk might write this one eventually too)

the black dog - the black dog = the three broomsticks hiiiii need i explain more?

imgonnagetyouback - classic teenage angst after a breakup, do u wanna fuck him or fight him? let's find out. this would definitely end in hateful breakup sex. probably in an empty classroom.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - i think unrequited love or mutual pining that was never acted on (maybe best friends?) growing apart and reader watching theo spiral knowing that part of their heart will always be attached to him

how did it end? - theo and reader being well known and engaged, calling off the engagement, and both of them only ever hearing "how did it end?" it's like in the title y'all

i look in people's windows - reader is always looking for theo in everything, even years after he left them. yeah it's depressing

peter - outside of the obvious, theo and reader breaking up at graduation, theo promising he would grow up and find himself then come find reader, goes off and lives his own life, never sees them again

the bolter - theo and reader both being avoidant attachment style and always finding each other. that's all!

thx for coming homies

[josefavomjaaga]

Hi, I'm curious about what you mentioned on Alexander having a not-so-platonic crush on Hortense. Could you elaborate? (no need to answer right now if you can't!)

Well, mostly that’s me being malicious as usual 😁. But yes, people in Paris at the time did of course wonder what made the tsar – called by some the most handsome man of the era, according to Hortense’s biographer Marie-Hélène Baylac - go to Malmaison of all places during his time in Paris 1814. And they surely did not assume it had anything to do with 50-year-old Josephine, but with her daughter Hortense. Who may not have been as beautiful, but had the reputation of being very distinguished and rather … friendly, especially with men.

Hortense and the tsar met for the first time on 16 April 1814, according to a footnote by Jean Hanoteau in volume 2 of Hortense’s memoirs. Hortense makes a big point about how she at first behaved in a very dignified, almost cold manner to this enemy of France and how it took both Josephine’s persuasion and the efforts of several diplomats, Caulaincourt and Nesselrode among them, for her to befriend him. This is to some degree confirmed by the memoirs of her reader Louise Cochelet. However, that degree may not be very high, considering that Louise Cochelet’s memoirs were published and edited (rewritten?) by Hortense herself. Memoirs of contemporaries indicate that it was rather Louise Cochelet who ran after the new Russian masters of Paris and tried to win them over to the Beauharnais cause. Even if Hortense claims it in her memoirs, it seems doubtful that Louise (Hortense’s closest confidante, keeper of all her secrets down to the existence of a certain Duc de Morny) would have acted on her own accord.

In the end, it does not matter. A close friendship developped, that much is sure. As Hortense states in her memoirs:

What's most appealing about him is that his need for affection seems to be part of his character. He inspires confidence because he knows how to show it. [...] I liked his character. I felt friendship for him and it is painful to expect any service from those whom we would like to love for themselves. So I left my initial reserve and allowed myself a greater degree of abandonment [...].

Both had an interest in the spiritual, both were rather romantic and enthusiastic. According to Hortense’s memoirs, Alexander even pondered inviting both Hortense and her mother to Saint Petersburg. The tsar went out of his way for Hortense (as he later would for Eugène, when the latter reached Paris). It was probably he who bullied Louis XVIII into making Hortense a "Duchess of Saint-Leu", and into allowing her to keep her sons with her in France, when technically, she was of course a Bonaparte and should have been affected by the law that exiled all members of the family, just like her husband. Hortense’s sons were, after the little ex-King of Rome, the next pretenders to the imperial throne. So Louis XVIII had to agree to have his own rivals grow up right before his eyes, that’s surely asking a lot from a monarch.

When Josephine died, Hortense was so overcome with grief – she writes – that she did not see anyone. Except for one visitor: Tsar Alexander.

Finally, when Alexander left for London, his depart started a very personal and, from Hortense’s side, sometimes gushy correspondence between them. They also must have met during Hortense’s stay in Baden. Interestingly, both Hortense and Alexander at that time have troubles with their longterm lovers: Handsome Flahaut, the father of the Duc de Morny, does propose to Hortense after Napoleon’s fall, suggesting Hortense should officially divorce. Hortense however refuses, and her relationship to Flahaut takes a severe blow (he will soon find a bride elsewhere). Alexander, as to him, during the same year ditches his mistress Maria Antonovna Naryshkin. And he confides about this to – Hortense.

Baylac cites one of Hortense’s letters as follows:

[…] when I think of the sovereign who has shown an interest in me, who has looked after my affairs with kindness, I am grateful, I wish for his happiness, and that is all; but when I think of the man who showed me friendship and confidence, when I remember that he tried to love me, my troubles advise me to hope in providence; finally, he knew how to speak to my heart, for how many times since, feeling emotion or fear about the future, I have resigned myself by saying: My God, I trust in you! Ah, the one whose feelings are so similar to mine, he is a friend, a support that heaven has sent me.

It’s maybe not completely astonishing that the tone of this correspondence has made, as Baylac puts it, "certain biographers doubt the platonic nature of their relations".

This relationship, whatever its nature, continued until the Hundred Days. At this point, Eugène was in Vienna, taking part in the Vienna Congress. The secret police (allegedly?) intercepted (falsified? - it’s so hard to find the truth about what happened within all these intrigues!) several letters, at least one from Hortense, badly hidden in a brush she had sent to her brother. I have read that Hortense in one letter openly mocked the tsar. The intercepted letters were shown to Alexander, who then passed them on to Eugène – ostentatiously opened – before breaking off all relations with both Beauharnais siblings.

Interestingly, his friendship with Eugène was soon healed. With Hortense? Not so much. To my knowledge, never. Alexander obviously felt truly hurt by her, in a similar way as he felt hurt by Caulaincourt’s behaviour. Admittedly, I have not looked into Hortense’s years in Bavaria much, but it seems when the tsar and tsarina visited Bavaria, and the tsar insisted on Eugène being of the party (much to the chagrin of queen Karoline 😊), Hortense was very much not invited. (Though, truth be told, it seems she was only rarely invited to Munich ever.)

So, that’s the base for my maliciousness 😁. Make of it what you want. As i do not have much faith in Hortense’s professed virtue in general, I am probably not the best judge of character in her case.

Thank you for the Ask! 💝💝💝

[herdivineopulence]

who am I? I’m just a girl 

I am a first generation, first daughter to a Dominican woman who immigrated to the u.s in the early 90s, and the first daughter to an African American man with unhealed trauma from Brooklyn. LOL sorry but its the truth! We’ll talk about that later BUT yes, first daughter. That’s me! A 26 year old who’s doing her best at figuring this life out. I’m a virgo sun, taurus moon, & libra rising, a Venusian princess if you will <3 Im from the Bronx, but have lived in PA for most of my life. I have a younger brother, a kitty and a yorkie shitzu or chihuahua (its hard to tell xD). I’m a Lover girl at my core, Love is all I Live for. I live and die for this shit! It keeps me going, it literally gives me life. I am currently single and been single for such a long time… well technically only 5 months since my last “relationship” (at the time I’m writing this) but I don’t count that bc I literally felt nothing. Even the sex was mid LMFAOO, but I was with him bc he was the main one there really trying so I settled.. he also wasn’t everything I expected him to be, but we will definitely talk about that later too, I’ve been through a lot of heartbreaks.. its amazing that I’m still here! But i will say, i am truly blessed with platonic Love. I have such an amazing support team behind me, living and non living LOL. I have great friends, a wonderful mother, and overall a great tribe so far. But its time to expand. I need like minded people now that im entering a new phase in my life.

I Love anime, food, everything Venusian! FASHION, JEWELRY, HAIR SKIN NAILS, ROMANCE, oh the ROMANCE! PURE OPULENCE. But I still find myself not exactly where I want to be. This blog is something that has been in the works for idk how long… I made a actual blog website two years ago and only made one post and never posted again. I even had someone email me saying how they were eager for me to continue posting .. and I failed them :,(  But one thing I learned is to put myself first and be gracious and gentle with myself. I am a manifesting generator and for those who don’t know what that means, you can either look it up or stay tuned I’ll definitely put you on and teach you somethings, but long story short, I am not meant to stick to one thing, or do things that no longer excite me. So not being consistent is not a flaw but just my nature and how I function. Only when I follow my design will the things that excite me draw out the consistent energy needed to keep whatever I’m working on going longterm. Stopping and starting is normal too!

But I do know I need to be more disciplined and I really want to blog. I Love writing its my passion that I’ve recently discovered is what I absolutely Love & have since I was a preteen. I always have energy for it. I also have lots to share. As a 12H native with multiple planets there, being open and “exposing” myself is kind of hard. All my social media platforms have barely any followers. Except for twitter lol ( X ) that’s where I spend most of my time, but now its one of my goals to expand my horizons and expand my reach.I have so much to share, and I really want to jog my journey as well. The good thing is that I’m still at the beginning so to speak. I am starting over, AGAIN. Trial n Error, figuring out what I want, what works for me, what truly brings me happiness. that’s part of the journey & clearly part of my experience.

So here I am my Loves I hope this reaches the people that are meant to come across this. My goal is to build a community filled with like minded people to share my knowledge to those who really could use the information to better their lives. To learn! One thing about me I Love to learn, and I know i'll always be a student. Hopefully you can learn a few things from me, use me as an example, a role model, and your healer of hearts. Boy oh boy do i know how to heal a heart! I have so many goals, join me on my journey to accomplishing them all using all the tools we have at our disposal ; astrology, human design, witchcraft, law of attraction, health and beauty! Are you ready? HOP IN BITCH WE'RE LEVELING UP!

TTYL, BESOS ;*

~ Aurora

[roleplay-today]

🌻🌻Hello everyone! 18+F looking for some M/F fandomless oc/oc rps! I would love to play the female character this time around, though I can be convinced to play the male character! I want to do plots with high school sweethearts or unlikely couples. Give me up tight characters and their messy, chaotic lovers. Couples that are on and off and horribly toxic but crazy in love. Give me perfect, fluffy couples and all their ups and downs. I love to get super in depth and love longterm rps! I would like to include some NSFW, so please be open to that! Dead dove and more taboo topics are also welcome, so long as we discuss it beforehand! I would love to play with some LEGAL age gap relationships, or some teacher/student shenanigans and the like. Truly, anything is fair game. Fluff and angst are a MUST. Please be active and open to writing on discord! Literate writers only, as I tend to go overboard in my replies. If this sounds interesting to you please interact with this and I’ll reach out!

[findroleplay]

🌻🌻Hello everyone! 18+F looking for some M/F fandomless oc/oc rps! I would love to play the female character this time around, though I can be convinced to play the male character! I want to do plots with high school sweethearts or unlikely couples. Give me up tight characters and their messy, chaotic lovers. Couples that are on and off and horribly toxic but crazy in love. Give me perfect, fluffy couples and all their ups and downs. I love to get super in depth and love longterm rps! I would like to include some NSFW, so please be open to that! Dead dove and more taboo topics are also welcome, so long as we discuss it beforehand! I would love to play with some LEGAL age gap relationships, or some teacher/student shenanigans and the like. Truly, anything is fair game. Fluff and angst are a MUST. Please be active and open to writing on discord! Literate writers only, as I tend to go overboard in my replies. If this sounds interesting to you please interact with this and I’ll reach out!

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