#for a pride flag you should definitely take the opportunity to change the writing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lavenderek · 4 years ago

Note

Why do you hate Ian?? When i was a kid I LOVED What A Girl Wants. I had such a crush on Ian :(

i am happy to go off thank you for this opportunity, long post under the cut

in case somebody wants to read this but doesn’t know what “what a girl wants” is, it’s a movie from the early 2000′s starring amanda bynes as Daphne.

she grew up in new york with a single mom, Libby. she has an estranged father played by colin firth, Henry, who doesn’t know daphne exists. libby is a singer who works weddings a lot.

libby and henry were star-crossed lovers, basically. henry is an english aristocrat with political aspirations, and his family believed marrying libby, who is living her stevie nicks fantasy, would damage his career; so they got her alone and convinced her henry changed his mind and didn’t want her. libby left, not yet knowing she was pregnant, and then spent 17 years pining for him.

daphne has spent her whole life romanticizing the idea of her father coming to get her, so after she graduates high school she chooses to fly out to england and surprise him. when she gets there she is disappointed to find that he is engaged to a woman who has a daughter about daphne’s age, but tries to make it work anyway.

daphne is clumsy and very casual, so hijinks ensue. henry’s fiancee and future stepdaughter are evil and conniving.

daphne is rejected and bullied by the fiancee and stepdaughter and she struggles trying to fit in with aristocratic society, so ultimately she leaves. henry is upset about this because he learned to love her, and subsequently he discovers she was being mistreated. he breaks up with the fiancee and flies out to america to surprise daphne. daphne gets into oxford u somehow and they all live happily ever after.

the first person daphne meets and gets to know in the movie is a local musician named Ian, who tells her she was born to stand out. he has minimal effect on the plot, like, i could write him out in two minutes, but god forbid we have a teen movie without a romance in it. they’re immediately attracted to each other and he proceeds to be a very bad boyfriend that the audience is supposed to find morally upstanding and charming.

this post is about how it did not work and i don’t like him.

The Superficial Shit: I’m Not About It

i’m immune to motorcycle boys. motorcycles are impractical and loud. get a muffler. i think if you buy a motorcycle you have to sign a contract promising to idle on your motorcycle for ten minutes every morning at 6:30 so that everyone in the neighborhood knows you have a motorcycle. so i don’t care that ian is A Bad Boy.

i’m also immune to english accents. it’s just like, an accent. it’s fine. i’m supposed to find everything he does inherently charming because he has an accent and he sings, but i don’t, so, try a little harder.

like, i’m also not impressed by sporty types, but i still accepted “a cinderella story” because austin had a character progression and i could see why sam found him attractive.

ian has no character progression. he starts out confident and independent and he ends up confident and independent. he remains happily working class with a more or less successful band the entire movie. nothing daphne does affects him negatively except that one time she fucks up and blows off a concert he wanted to go to.

so as a result i’m not invested in anything he does. the only interesting thing he does is first building up daphne’s confidence and then getting mad and tearing it back down when she’s doing something he doesn’t personally find important, which is the next thing.

The Worst Boyfriend: Why Am I Not The Center Of Your Universe?

here are the first three pieces of information ian learns about daphne:

her mom is a musician

she is american

she is here to find and get to know her politician father, Lord Dashwood

he’s very supportive of this endeavor, right up until it gets difficult. he’s like, “you came all this way, he’s your dad, you should definitely meet him.”

she publicly fucks up a couple major society events and then is like, “hey, i’m putting my dad’s career in jeopardy, so in order to stay and get to know him this summer i’m gonna prioritize these events a little more.”

and ian is immediately like, “you’ve changed,” and dumps her lmfao

her lifelong drive to find and get to know her dad is one of the first things he learns about her. why does he think it’s so stupid? why am i supposed to care about his opinion?

daphne, probably: this thing is important to me. ian, probably: ok, that’s fine. daphne, probably: woof, in order to keep up with this thing i have to try a little harder. ian, probably: hm. actually, this is unimportant. daphne, probably: i’m going to do it anyway. ian, probably: what? didn’t you hear me? i just said it was unimportant. why aren’t you quitting immediately? my opinion should be your primary concern. you know what? i’m done.

i had the same problem with nate from “the devil wears prada.” i will never understand the idea of seeing someone you apparently care deeply about very stressed out trying to accomplish a goal, and being mad that they’re not super fun and interesting right then. sometimes a person you care about is going through something. let her vent and buy her some ice cream.

if your partner stops being supportive and understanding the second your life gets stressful or complicated, that’s kind of a red flag. the real test of a relationship is when you have to support each other and maintain your bond even when you’re trying to get something done, or even when you’re having a rough time and you’re in a bad mood.

ian fails this test because he’s weirdly judgmental about it all.

Attitude Stinks

before the change ian hates, daphne is late to things, she dresses casually for formal events, she gets into a screaming physical altercation with someone at a party, and because she was acting out a lot at a ball she’s blamed for the destruction of a prized, historical piece of architecture. all of these cause scandals that embarrass henry and make him look bad in tabloids. he is in the middle of a campaign for a political position, so this is bad.

after the change, daphne reaches out to her debutante grandmother for guidance and starts wearing socially acceptable clothing, goes to events where she is expected, and is quiet and respectful at an event where she’s supposed to meet the queen of england. this is all very successful for henry. people go up to him and tell him daphne’s great, and she somehow ends up in a tabloid that talks about how great she is lmfao.

all of this takes a lot of effort from daphne, though. she’s stressed out. while this works out for henry, it isn’t working for daphne. she’s doing all this so that she can be accepted by her father’s family, but the fiancee and stepdaughter don’t want her around, and henry is passive throughout all this. he doesn’t know she’s actively being bullied, but he’s also letting his fiancee direct him away from daphne. so daphne ultimately leaves.

here’s where ian comes in. ian tells her a story toward the beginning of the movie about how his mother was also an aristocrat. he tells her she was rejected by society because of classism towards ian’s father. this is framed as a demonstration of ian’s values. the fact that his mother rejected being a debutante is a source of pride for ian.

but the problem is that this is just because ian likes the choice she made. he’s not proud that his mother took control of her life and made her own decision. he’s proud that his mother rebelled. you know this because he sums up the story with this line -

daphne: what happened to your parents? ian: they’re as poor as church mice and the happiest people i know.

- and because his entire conflict in the movie is that daphne makes a different decision.

ian’s mom chose her husband over her parents and the life they wanted for her. daphne is choosing the family she’s been wanting her whole life over a guy she’s known for like, a month. ian is the biggest whiner about it. he storms out on her. she runs into him at an event and asks to talk to him, and he tells her no. he only forgives her when she quits and goes back to america.

there are a lot of dudes like this out there. he loves a strong, unique woman, as long as she fits seamlessly into his life and makes decisions he tells her to. yawn.

Makes No Sense: Why Are You Here?

ian is somehow ubiquitous in debutante society. he and his little band are hired to play at every ball daphne goes to. why??

a huge plot point is a moment where daphne attends a terribly boring coming out ball for a pair of very meek, shy twins. daphne delights the twins by going out of her way to liven up the party. she convinces ian to play loud rock music and encourages everyone at the ball to dance. the bass is too loud, though, and somehow causes an antique chandelier to fall. this is a big scandal.

the whole thing that’s emphasized during this scene is that daphne is shaking up the scene and that this music is unorthodox and unwanted at these high society type functions.

which all begs the question of why these people keep hiring a local rock band for these events. he’s playing at at least one other ball later on in the movie. the music they play doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the events, which are the kind of affairs you’d wear a tiara to. these are very formal events. why are we hiring ian and his band, and where did you guys even find him??

in the scene where daphne gets into a fight with somebody, she’s at a fancy outdoor event, the kind of place you’d wear a tea length dress and a big hat. ian is also there, working in the parking lot as a parking lot guy.

daphne’s thrilled, but she does ask why he’s there. he’s basically like, “i have lots of jobs.” for somebody who hates deb society so much, he does take a lot of jobs at deb events. why don’t you work in a restaurant or something? does that offend your punk rock whiner sensibilities?

also, he’s boring and i think daphne should go for somebody who makes her laugh.

Has Spiked Hair

lots of gel, no other info needed. wash your hair. very sculpted hair makes people seem less down to earth. it’s not relatable.

I Will Fix It

so ian doesn’t help with the plot at all. the only time he helps daphne is in the chandelier scene. the rest of the time he’s just there to date her and talk to her a lot about how cool it is to stand out and not fit in.

his role in the movie is to cause more tension and place more pressure on daphne. he behaves like she’s making a moral choice, when really she’s making a behavioral choice.

i think using him to vocalize her conflict is a mistake because it’s framed as Stand Out vs. Assimilate, when that has nothing to do with daphne’s motivation.

daphne’s Want is to be with her dad, and her Need is to be accepted and wanted. as a result, ian rejecting her because he doesn’t like the choices she’s making comes across as entitled and cruel lmao. it’s directly antithetical to daphne’s journey. she never once says anything about loving standing out.

here are the ways i think this could be fixed:

if you want it to be a moral thing, make it a moral thing.

give ian a best friend who is gay, and after daphne decides to fit in with society, she won’t be seen with the gay friend anymore. or after daphne decides to fit in, have her be super judgmental of people who aren’t succeeding as much as she is. then when she decides she’s fed up, have her stand up for them.

that would make ian being mad about her “changing” make sense. and we, the audience, would be like, “yeah, this is misguided and goes against what daphne believes.”

not breaking things or yelling at a royal event isn’t a moral stance. why are you so pressed. get a hobby

if you want her thing to be standing out, make it standing out.

standing out isn’t a conflict in the whole movie. henry’s flaw is being passive. daphne’s flaw is being embarrassing at parties because she’s clumsy and she likes to meet new people and dance and stuff. libby has no flaw except that she was a victim of classism.

the twins at the party are dowdy and shy, and daphne gives them a makeover off screen lmao. ian is single, and daphne dates him.

so make standing out the recurring issue. make daphne super obsessed with fitting in. in the very beginning, she runs into a girl she knows at a wedding. the girl is kind of privileged and successful, and daphne reveals that she’s a free spirit who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. instead, make her hedge and hem and haw and try to make herself seem more successful to the girl. make her Want to be fancy and part of her dad’s high society life, but her Need to “be herself.”

maybe the twins are secretly super weird and quirky, and they’re depressed trying to fit in; and their big moment revealing being cool now at the garden party is them wearing loud patterns and dancing when the music starts playing. maybe ian is super funny and goofy and the parties suck until he and daphne trick the singer into leaving the stage, and ian jumps onstage and plays a fun song.

make libby have been rejected because she always started talking politics at henry’s parties and she’s kind of radical.

maybe daphne: hey, i’m sorry, but you can’t come with me to the party next week anymore. maybe ian: what? how come, i rented a tux for this. maybe daphne: sorry. i’m trying to behave. maybe ian: haha what does that mean? you’re not trying to fit in with all those stuffy losers, are you? maybe daphne: no, i’m trying not to ruin things for my dad. it was a big deal when you were super messy at the garden party. maybe ian: wow. i seem to recall you being “messy” right along with me. sorry for embarrassing you. maybe daphne: ian, don’t take it personally. we can still hang out sometimes, i just can’t go places with you. maybe ian: no, thanks.

i don’t prefer this, because i’m an introvert and people who think someone they don’t personally find interesting are fundamentally worse, are boring and annoying. i wouldn’t find this story relatable or compelling at all. i’m 9000 years old and i’m like, “what if you guys respected each other and participated in society, though?” i wouldn’t enjoy this story. but at least it would make sense why ian’s bothered by daphne not “standing out.”

i think the entire reason this movie was made is that trailer moment from the boat scene where ian’s like, “i don’t understand why you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out!” so that’s how you can keep that dumbass line.

make ian have an arc himself.

in the movie, ian is initially helpful and gives some backstory, and then partway through the movie he gets mad at her and breaks up with her. he forgives her at the same time as henry realizes daphne’s unhappy, right at the end.

instead, make ian become helpful as the movie progresses.

so first of all, take the scene toward the beginning where he’s in the boat allegedly showing her how to practice being poised, and he tells her about his mom being a disowned deb. move this scene to the beginning of the third act.

next, make it so that ian was rejected by his grandparents. maybe ian at some point also defied his mom to seek out estranged family; but where daphne’s dad let her stay, ian’s grandparents insulted him and told him they didn’t want him around. they called him illegitimate and a mistake. so when daphne chooses to try to conform, ian is reacting to those feelings rather than projecting his own feelings of personal superiority.

and finally, make daphne try to fit in much sooner, but make her super bad at it. my roommates and i watched this movie the other night and one of them made the very good point that daphne’s grandmother and father sit her down and are like, “there is a certain way you’re supposed to behave,” but they don’t tell her how to do that.

so let’s actually keep that part. maybe daphne overcorrects. she knows she’s fucking up, so she believes she shouldn’t be doing anything fun or interesting or making conversation with anyone. this isn’t great. her charm is in how friendly, fun-loving, and proactive she is. she does what she wants and people find it refreshing. make people start to be like, “wow, lord dashwood’s daughter is kind of weird and stiff. it’s clear she isn’t used to places like this, what a rube.”

now we get to the third act, and the boat scene. in the boat, ian tells her about his family, and apologizes and offers to try and help her, if this is what she wants. now ian is playing more of an active role, and he’s contributing to her life in a positive way.

because as it is, he does nothing that i couldn’t get rid of very easily. so...

get rid of ian.

here are the effects ian currently has on the plot:

daphne riding away on the back of a motorcycle makes henry worry about her, and he realizes he’s developing paternal feelings toward her. he calls libby and libby affirms and empathizes with those feelings.

ian is in the band at the party where the chandelier is destroyed.

ian talks a lot about how daphne’s supposed to stand out.

ian stresses daphne out, which sort of artificially raises the stakes.

ian shows up right at the end to reward daphne for existing.

especially because ian’s criticisms are so disconnected from daphne’s motivations, nothing he does is particularly helpful to the plot in a way that he couldn’t be replaced.

daphne has a tattoo in the movie, and when henry sees it, he’s sort of like, wow, she’s kind of a wild child, she reminds me of me when i was young. instead of a motorcycle boyfriend, make daphne get the tattoo in london. henry calls libby like, “she just got a tattoo!” and libby is like, “i remember you holding my hand while i got my first tattoo.”

maybe the live band takes a break, and daphne sneaks up and hooks up the speakers to her ipod or something, and she plays super loud music herself.

i already talked about how pointless this is. also, we don’t need a greek chorus telling us what’s going on. show, don’t tell.

daphne is already stressed. those motivations can come from inside daphne.

why would henry seek out daphne’s ex-boyfriend and fly him out to new york to impose on daphne and her mom? this is so weird. go home.

ian is replaceable. to the left, to the left.

#long post #haters #who is this even #Anonymous #talking out of my ass

20 notes · View notes

akp-1327 · 4 years ago

Text

dear diary // chapter three

Hey! Long time, no see! I am so, so, so sorry that this chapter is late. I’ve been having a bit of a busy time recently and haven’t had many opportunities to write/edit like usual. But now I have a looser schedule so updates to the series should go back to normal! 😄 I hope you are all doing okay wherever you are! :)

Find the series masterlist here to catch up on the previous chapter!

Word count: 4.6k

(*) Warnings: mentions of bankruptcy and emotional abuse

All I could see was red. The anger that flowed through my veins was terrifyingly smooth, leaving my entire body shaking. The news that my mom just told me, well, sobbed to me, left me in awe. In terrible, heart-wrenching, shocking...awe.

Sweetie, my mom’s sweet and clear voice bellowed through my memory, I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry, darling.

“Charlotte, you need to calm down. Seriously. I don’t know what’s--” Leila said softly, her hands firm on my shaking shoulders.

At a time like this, I didn’t need her soothing me. I needed her to slap me out of this impending doom that I thought would tear me apart. I needed to get a grip on reality, to comprehend that this entire nightmare was actually happening.

“Leila, do you know what my mom just told me?” I huffed, throwing my phone onto the tidy bed that I had just made. Our first night in New York had started off amazingly, as if it was taken straight out of a movie; we met new and amazing people, found Leila’s wayward bag, explored the dorm building...

Then, when called my mom once we got back to our dorm...everything came crashing down like a colossal, teetering tower of Jenga blocks.

Leila scowled at me then, squeezing my shoulders harder. Her eyes, usually a coffee bean brown, looked inky black when her entire demeanor changed from confused to quite ticked off. I immediately regretted the tone I used, though there was no going back now.

“Does it look like I do? God, you can be so dense sometimes!” Leila stated, glaring right into my eyes with a look that sent a chill down my spine. “Something’s up and you need to tell me immediately.”

This wasn’t something that I thought I could even have the guts to say. But, sooner than I though, words started forming on the tip of my tongue at the speed of light; but one stood out in particular, one chilling me to the bone.

“Bankrupt.”

This set her back, making her hands falter a bit on my shoulders.

“What? Charlotte, I need deta--”

“The diner, Leila.”

The words slowly tore my heart into microscopic pieces. Every notable memory I had from my childhood took place at the diner. I could distinctly remember the scent of buttermilk pancake batter being mixed and the sounds of plates being stacked. I could remember the outside, the bright yellow paint standing out against the lifeless gray colors of the neighborhood that it’s surrounded by.

“T-The Golden Griddle?” Leila asked, confusion consuming her features once more. The intense look in her eyes slowly fizzled out and turned into pure fret. As she’d always been, Leila was not well-composed in these types of situations.

“Yes. There’s just too many complications with the building, too many expenses and so little money...” I sighed sadly. Tears welled in my eyes, though I didn’t need to show Leila that. And so, with a deep breath, I sniffled and shook my head to clear the emotions away. “My dad spent what he could to fix the cheaper things like the light fixtures and seats, but then he got carried away with fixing the rest of the bigger issues. It all added up over time, Leila. Now the diner...the diner doesn’t have anything left.”

The diner had so, so many issues for such a long time. The interior, for as long as I could remember, was small. There were only ten tables, half of those being booths that lined the walls, in total. The kitchen was also considerably compact for the amount of business that the diner would face. My parents always wanted to get around to renovate properly, but could never keep up with the overwhelming amounts of money spent on necessities like ingredients, napkins, utensils, advertisements...so DIY projects and repairs it was.

“But your parents still own it, right? They can bounce back?”

My heart yearned to be at home with my family. Why would I leave? God, I really am dense. Forget school, forget dreams. Home is where I should’ve been when that news was unveiled, not thousands of miles away.

“No. I guess the health inspector said that there were so many things with the building that set off a lot of red flags. He condemned it right on the spot.”

Leila’s eyebrow’s furrowed in thought. It was never easy for me to talk about these things - the serious things - with her. Of course, though, she knew almost everything about me; she knew that I was never the “open book” type and would always need a bit of encouragement to work my way up to talking things through. I’d rather sit and wallow in my misery than get help. The whole mindset had definitely not been ideal for anyone, but that was always the least of my worries.

The moment Leila looked back into my eyes was the moment she started to speak, her voice soft like it was before; again, I didn’t need to be sympathized, I needed to be able to see reason. This whole thing caught me completely off-guard.

Leila whispered, shaking her head, “How did this even happen?”

In high school, a very wise teacher of mine once said that there is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people who ask questions. However, by the looks of it, this was definitely an exception. Even with her ingenious, Leila had just asked one of the stupidest questions known to man.

She knew exactly how this happened, and has known for years. The Golden Griddle’s financial instability had never, ever been able to be kept secret in a town such as Ceder Cove, no matter how many times my parents tried.

“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Leila stammered, looking up at the ceiling to collect herself.

“It’s fine. I just can’t fathom what my parents are going through right now. Henry, too.” I sighed, stepping back from Leila and letting my shoulders deflate. I slowly sat on the edge of my bed and crossed my legs, my gaze trained on the aged wood floor. “Even if I should, I’m not calling my mom back with more details tonight. This...this is just too much for me to handle right now.”

Leila was silent and I looked up to see her scrolling through her phone.

Seriously? I cleared my throat to get her attention...but she didn’t even flinch.

“Leila. Are you even listening to me? Or...are you texting Skye?”

Leila’s eyes immediately averted from her phone to look at me. The smallest hint of a blush crept into her cheeks, though she played it off and rolled her eyes.

“Actually, Erin wants to take us shopping for the party next week when we’re available. Check your phone.” Leila stated, a defensive edge in her tone. I was the one to roll my eyes this time.

Now, let’s get this straight; I am not fond of parties. Leila had dragged me to each homecoming, each winter formal, and the two prom nights that we had. My date to prom both years, a guy named Harold Longhorn (a total snob), would not shut up about politics or the “oh-so-stupid” stock market. I only went with him because he said he’d tutor me for free with my AP Euro and AP Chem homework in collateral. Oh, and did I mention that his dad is a major entrepreneur in the Portland area? Wait, that’s unimportant; just like every single party I’ve ever been to in my life.

“Do I have to go? I’d rather stay here and reread Pride & Prejudice for the millionth time or something that I actually enjoy. Dancing the night away doesn’t sound as interesting to me as my daily dose of Mr. Darcy.”

Leila scoffed and looked over at me again, her eyebrow quirked in such a way that left me a bit uneasy.

“News flash, Charlotte Parker, but Mr. Darcy is fictitious and will not save you from this.” Leila scolded, though she was playful about it. “I’m not letting you stay here because you’re a college girl now and you need to socialize with people other than me!”

“Ughhhh,” I groaned, laying down onto my bed and turning away from her and burying my face into my pillow that sadly smelt like home, “you sound just like my mom!”

Leila burst out into laughter that sent a faint chill down my spine. Whatever her plans were, she knew I’d loathe them.

“I’m glad.”

August 10th, 2020

Dear Diary...

Okay. Sorry for the radio silence. Lots has happened over the course of a couple weeks that I need to get off my chest. As Scar would say, be prepared...

First off, NYU is amazing. I’ve already met lots of (!!) people, though 4 have become friends! Two girls, two guys: Skye, Erin, Rory, and Ajay. They’re all really down-to-earth and genuinely cool people that I’m getting along with!

Rory and Leila are really like two peas in a pod, and so are Skye and Leila. Leila is just a social butterfly, so she honestly gets along with everyone. Erin and Ajay, though, are more mellow and easy-going. Erin is so...laid back? Like she’s the type of person that you could spill your life story to. She’s just so, I don’t know... nonchalant? - definitely in a good way.

However, I feel more drawn to Ajay; we share similar interests and outlooks on life. He even saw my performance at Spotlite! He’s also a student director here at NYU, so if I do somehow wind up in the show, I’d probably work with him. It even helps that he’s kinda cute, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Overall, though, the campus is absolutely stunning and the view from our dorm window takes my breath away each and every morning.

Second, The Golden Griddle is doomed right now due to both bankruptcy and condemnation. My parents are all torn up about it, and to be blatantly honest, so am I. The diner has always been a home away from home, and now that I may have to face losing it forever...

Third, I HATE PARTIES. With a deep, burning passion.

Leila, if you’re reading this, then you can call me George Eacker: piss off because I’m watching this show - also known as Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - now...well..when you’re at the party! There’s no way in hell that I’m stepping foot into anything resembling a disco or a dance or even, god forbid, a hoedown like that one during our sophomore year. Nope, nope, nope. Over my dead body.

All in all, I’m having a wonderful time settling into my new life in New York. Of course I miss home, but I also feel like it was time for me to spread my wings and learn to fly!

Alright. I gotta run. I’m going shopping. And, yes, it’s regrettably for this pointless party that I’m being forced to go to against my will.

Talk, er, write soon!

Charlotte :)

“Ooo, what’re you writing about?” Leila asked, barging back into our slightly messy dorm after finishing with her morning routine. I hastily closed my diary and forced a smile.

“Um, it’s just the address of my uncle’s new house! Mom said to write it down somewhere in case I lost my phone.”

Shoot. Thank God Leila wasn’t really paying much attention to catch how bad of an excuse that was; she just turned her back to me and scavenged through a pile of dirty clothes already heaped in the corner by her closet. It’s been six days since we’ve moved in. I still haven’t really organized nor have I gotten around to calling my parents or Henry with updates about the diner.

“Right, right. He moved a couple days ago. Though, with our plans today, are you ready to go? Erin and Skye are already waiting for us downstairs.” Leila said, grabbing her purse. I gave her a scowl and grabbed my own, sighing as I slung it on my shoulder.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. But I have one quick question,” I said, finally catching her attention, “why are you wearing those?”

My eyes went to the unscuffed black stilettos on her feet; they had to have been at least 5 inches tall. She laughed and instinctively brought one of her ankles up to rub it as if she’d been in pain. The stilettos were paired with a pair of skinny and holey whitewash jeans and a black Shinedown sweatshirt with a crow and a butterfly printed in white; from what I remember, that was one of the band’s songs.

“I’m wearing these to the party so I figured I’d break them in a little first. And I need to find a dress that looks good with them, so why not?”

“Fair warning, you might actually break something else before you walk a block in those death traps.” I teased, making her huff. This was obviously not something she wanted to hear, but let’s remember who was dragging me to this stupid party in the first place. My sarcasm comes with the territory!

“Jesus, you make it sound like I’m breaking a law! They’re just heels!” Leila laughed, shaking her head. Her hair had been in two Dutch braids, making her outfit even more unique. To each their own, I suppose.

“Just heels that might put you on crutches,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slipped my (comfortable) light pink flip flops on. We headed down to the lobby and quickly spotted Erin, chatting with Rory and Ajay, and Skye standing a little off to the side.

“Ah, there you guys are!” Erin grinned, running over and leading us over to the group.

“I thought this was a girl trip?” I asked, playfully eyeing the guys. Ajay gave a tight-lipped smile and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, don’t worry, it is. We were just heading out to find Rory another outfit that he apparently needs because his six other ones aren’t enough.” Ajay explained, making direct eye contact with me. I could see the different blends of brown tinges in his eyes - the light from both the windows and the bulbs above hitting just the right angles - shimmer behind his glasses. I also noticed that he was wearing a simple green t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts with black Nike’s.

Wait, what?

“I may have a slight obsession with shopping,” Rory said sheepishly, slowly creeping away from the group, “but I also need something fresh. I can’t be seen in the same maroon shirt that I wore to--”

Ajay’s groan interrupted him but he followed in Rory’s footsteps with a small shrug. “We’ll be going now. Have fun.”

I immediately felt myself missing his eyes. The brown sparkles that caught my own. Was it so wrong to find his eyes...gorgeous? Didn’t think so.

As they waved goodbye, Leila migrated from my side to Skye’s. The redhead looked particularly sad today, but let out the slightest trace of a smile when Leila started talking to her.

“So, where’re we going to go first, o’ wise Erin?” I asked, turning to her. She looked a bit lost in thought, a bit dazed when our eyes met, but I could tell she regained herself before she answered.

“Well, I thought we’d take a trip to The Shops today,” Erin said smugly, her hand resting on her hip, “we can take an Uber in case we want to make other stops along the way!”

Skye visibly revolted at the thought, her arms tightening around her chest and her glower intensifying. The way her blue eyes darkened was just a bit unsettling, too.

“Okay. Sounds good...” I sighed, gripping my leather purse strap a bit tighter.

“Sure,” Skye groaned, “good. Great. Grand. Just how I wanted to spend my day.”

The nearby mall, The Shops, had a wide array of stores that we buzzed in and out of, Erin and Leila eagerly leading the way.

“You know,” I said, looking over at Skye, “I really don’t understand why we need new clothes for this party.”

Skye shrugged. “Me neither. I never really had to get new clothes for the banquets that I went to as a kid with my parents.”

I instantly noticed that her hands were in tight fists at her sides.

“What do your parents do?” I asked, trying to keep her talking. I really wanted to get to know her better; she was still such a mystery and I was destined to change that.

Though, the bitter grimace she gave at the question was all the hint that I needed to know that I’d said something wrong, maybe even crossed a line.

“They do nothing but make a lot of money and prioritize themselves over anything else, even their own kids.”

Oh, wow. I blinked rapidly, willing my brain to say, something, anything, to break the agonizing silence building between us.

“Oh. I’m sorry I brought it up.” I stammered, though she shook her head.

“It’s okay. It’s just...not something I really like to talk about.” Skye sighed, almost ruefully. Despite my pending curiosity, I left the topic be.

“What’re you here in New York to do, Skye?” I asked instead, hoping to lighten her spirits a little. When she looked back over at me, she gave me a neutral expression.

“Graphics,” Skye stated, her tone firm and assured, “I want to be a graphics designer.”

“That’s really interesting. Have you designed anything yourself?”

Sadly, before I could hear her answer, Erin and Leila gasped in unison and pointed to a store. A quick glance at the shop name was enough to make me roll my eyes.

“Windsor! Yes!” Leila squealed, bolting into the store without a second thought. Erin rushed after her, gesturing for Skye and I to follow.

Several racks of dresses filled the store and even lined the walls, some popping with bright color and some glittering with infinite sparkle. I watched Leila pluck several dresses off their racks and fold them over her arm, shaking my head.

“Wow, look at this abomination.” Skye murmured, plucking a dress made of plastic (well, not literally, but basically) off the rack. It was a flamingo pink and looked like something a Barbie doll would wear. A laugh escaped her as she sifted through and pulled out the other options, the colors ranging from a vibrant cobalt to a neon yellow.

“I’ve always wanted to be Barbie disguised as a highlighter! Skye, how’d you know?” I giggled, taking a resembling green one off the same rack. My poor eyes ached at the sight of all the vivid colors.

“Pure intuition, obviously.” Skye responded, putting the dresses back on the rack. “Jeez, I could never wear any of these.”

I could agree; I would never be able to pull any of these off. Also, it didn’t help that they were so effervescent and looked severely uncomfortable. (I mean, how do you even move in that kind of material?)

“Me neither,” I said wistfully, plucking another dress off a nearby rack. It was a black sweetheart-necklined dress that cut off at (what I’d say) the knee. It had some lace detailing on the straps and a few sparkles scattered across both the bodice and the skirt. It wasn’t over-the-top, nor was it boring...

I held it up to Skye, making her jump back a little with surprise. I giggled and closed an eye, coming to a conclusion about how this dress would look incredible on her.

“Whoa, what’re--” Skye asked, her eyes widening. I smiled warmly and laid it over her arm.

“I think this is a good option for you, and I’m guessing your a 4?” I smirked, watching her gape in both confusion and amusement.

“How’d you...know?”

“Pure intuition, obviously.” I playfully mocked, making her crack a tiny smile. As we continued throughout the store, we came across a few more ridiculously bright options, thankfully not made out of a faux plastic.

About five minutes into our little exploration, I spotted a dress; it was a silvery mauve skater dress with a flowing skirt and spaghetti straps. By some sort of force, it spoke to me.

“That’s pretty,” Skye said, nodding in approval as I held it up, “ it definitely speaks ‘girl who can read minds’ to me.”

Oh jeez, she’s cool. She’s really cool.

“Perfect, it’s just what I’m looking for, then,” I joked, folding the dress over my arm and walking further into the store. Erin and Leila, practically having the time of their lives, had their arms brimming with dresses that ranged from super glittery to extremely bright. I could swear I could see a familiar highlighter yellow in Leila’s stack, but that could just be my mind playing tricks on me.

Speaking of Leila, I stifled a giggle as I watched her wobble around in her stilettos, grimacing whenever she walked too fast. Not to say I told you so, Leila, I thought, but...I told you so.

“Ladies!” Erin squealed, pointing back to the dressing room area with her free hand. “Let’s go try these on!”

“How about this masterpiece?” Leila giggled, sauntering out of the dressing room. Erin burst into laughter, Skye rolled her eyes, and I, well...

“Oh my God, Leila...” I playfully gagged, covering my eyes. Turns out that she really did pick out a highlighter dress to try on. After a few laughs, she turned around and changed into a royal blue dress with a deep V neckline. It was sparkly, sassy, and overall...very Leila.

“Wow, you look great, Skye!” I cheered, giving her two thumbs-up as she examined herself in the mirror. The dress was a perfect fit and she seemed to be comfortable in it. Her hands idly fiddled with the skirt, experimentally flicking it back and forth in thought.

“It seriously looks amazing on you!” Erin smiled, nodding with approval. Skye gave me a small, appreciative smile in the mirror.

I took a quick glance over at Leila and was met with her wide eyes and deep red cheeks.

“Charlotte, phew, you look hot!” Leila whistled, gesturing for me to spin around. I didn’t really gush over the “dream dress” as much as I had hoped. In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I disliked it.

“Maybe we can find a different color?” I said, looking back at Erin’s face; she definitely did not like it. She shot up out of her chair and came back a moment later with a similar option. It was the same style of dress but in a jade green shade instead. It was also not as shimmery, but more dull and had ruffles on the neckline.

I ducked back into the dressing room and quickly changed. With just a glance at myself now, I knew I found the one. I stepped back out and saw everyone’s face light up.

“Yup,” Erin said smugly as she crossed her legs, “that’s the one.”

Erin walked out in a tight-fitting midi white dress that popped against her flawless chocolate brown skin. It had a plunging V-neck and a small slit on the left side that climbed all the way up toward the middle of her thigh. Needless to say...she was killing it.

“Now I just need some hoops...” Erin mumbled as she examined herself. Leila looked over at me and just gaped.

“Stunning!” I said, and Erin gave me a warm and self-satisfied smile.

Finally, we were heading home in an Uber. But because of how long the shopping took, we decided to stop and get some ice cream from a local parlor; all after persuading the driver to wait for us with a hefty tip.

Erin munched on a mixture of raspberry and vanilla, Leila got creamsicle all over her face, Skye picked at her brownie swirl, and I delightfully ate two scoops of cake batter.

“So. Are you two excited about going to this party now?” Erin asked, eyeing Skye and I. At the same time, we both shook our heads.

“New dress, same feelings.” Skye sighed, looking down into her dish. I nodded in agreement only to hear a dramatic sigh from Leila.

“You two will have fun. We’ll find fun things for you guys!” Leila grinned, glancing at Erin. The two shared a look that, like all the times before, sent a chill down my spine.

“You guys can’t make us have fun.” Skye said, figuring her face was serious; but I looked over to see a teasing smirk on her face.

“Well, we can sure as hell try! Besides, what do you guys have against parties?” Erin said, her tone a bit more tame then it was before. My eyes averted from theirs, and without looking, I could tell Skye was doing the same.

Awkward silence wracked the table for what seemed like hours before Skye spoke up.

“You can thank my parents for being the pessimistic and narcissistic assholes that they are. My distaste originates from them.” Skye said, her teasing tone completely replaced with a hiss. She spoke in a mumbled tone, as if she wished she didn’t want to speak.

“I’ve just never been really...happy with the ones I’ve gone to in the past.” I added awkwardly. I thought about the one good party I went to...and of course it had to be from the diner. Emotions bubbled in my throat and were about to escape before Leila (thankfully) interjected with a disapproving groan.

Then, right after, all three of us got looks of unbridled hope and amusement from Erin.

“That’s going to change because, dearest freshmen, you’ve never experienced a party quite like a college party.”

And it can stay that way, I thought.

The rest of the ice cream was eaten alongside lighter conversation, and then, FINALLY, we were back in the dorms.

The afternoon flew as I decided to buckle down and unpack the remainder of my things. Leila went to hang out with Erin and Skye (without heels, if you were wondering) as I slaved away at stacking my t-shirts in my closet, that is until I got a knock at my door.

As soon as I opened it, I saw a familiar pair of gorgeous eyes lock onto mine.

“Hi, I know this is kinda weird,” Ajay said casually, “ but I have a question for you.”

I leaned against the door, praying I didn’t look like an uncoordinated mess. “It’s not weird at all, actually. Shoot.”

God, his eyes are just breathtaking in any and every way. Was it weird to be obsessing over an acquaintance’s eyes like this? Yes, I thought, yes it was.

“Well, since we really don’t want to go to the party, I was hoping we could try to get something out of it?”

What does he mean? If we didn’t want to go, what good would we be able to get out of it?

I tipped my head a bit to the side in curiosity and felt some of my blonde hair come loose from its bun.

“Let me escort you. To the party.”

Wait, was that an actual thing? An escort to a college party? No way. It sounded so childlike, almost like something an elementary kid would say.

“Hang on. Do you mean, like, as a date?” I asked, my tone packing more intensity than I had hoped. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No, no. I just want to get to know you better. I thought that this would be a better option than hunting you down in a huge mass of drunk people and ending up not being able to find you.” Ajay explained, a light smile tugging at his lips. “So...?”

Maybe spending the night with someone with the same ideals as me would make the night less dreadful, perhaps even fun. I barely gave the idea a thought before words left my mouth.

“Sure, Ajay, I’ll be your escort.”

#high school story class act #hssca #mc: charlotte parker #oc: leila maciel #skye crandall #erin ward #rory silva #ajay bhandari #choices stories you play #warnings: mentions of bankruptcy and emotional abuse #chapter three! 🥳

9 notes · View notes

theavenir36-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Exactly how Condo Buyers Can Prevent Paying Too Much: Ten Important Tips

Whether you're the first-time buyer or a experienced professional in the real estate video game, purchasing a condominium can be an overwhelming task, fraught with monetary pitfalls as well as potential earnings. It's an emotional procedure filled with difficult choices-and every decision you make has cash riding on it. Finding the right condominium for your family's needs is actually tough enough; knowing how to prevent paying too much for that wonderful living space is another job completely.

As a professional Realtor® that has helped countless buyers discover their dream home as well as save money at the same time, I've created this guide to help you avoid the possible hazards inherent in the condo-buying process. I'll show you steps to make certain you've found the best home, as well as how to make a deal a price to your advantage. These are training you truly can't pay for to learn through trial and error.

Suggestion #1: Determine Your Condominium "Minimums" Ahead of Time.

Understand that you will find two condos out there competing for your attention-one that satisfies your needs and one that satisfies your desires. In a ideal world, you could choose which three-bedroom condo with space for your family to grow, but still have the perfect floor arrange for entertaining and social events. Is that big kitchen more vital to you than a few additional rooms?

When you begin shopping for your own condo, you'll encounter attributes you'll fall in love with for different factors. It's best to list the features that you would like before you start shopping. Break your current list into two categories-"Needs" and "Desires"-and prioritize the things accordingly. Understanding what you really need in your condo instead of what you'd like to have will assist you to keep your priorities straight while you shop around .

Don't let emotion fog up your judgment. Satisfy your requirements first, and if you can satisfy some of your desires along the way, so much the better. What's essential is to understand the difference prior to getting caught-up in the excitement from the hunt.

Tip #2: Acquire a Pre-Approved Mortgage.

If you are not buying with money, getting a loan pre-approved may be the smart way to shop for a high-rise apartment. It tells sellers that you have been a serious prospect, and you understand in advance the maximum mortgage you are able to afford.

I've seen purchasers make the mistake of studying what they qualify for, but not obtaining pre-approval in writing. You've eliminated this far, so make next step-get it on paper.

The good news is that it's easier than ever to be approved for a home loan.

Tip #3: Communicate with Your Realtor.

Through finding the right condo to home inspections and negotiating the best offer, the condo search method can be exhausting for the actual hardiest souls. That's why sensible condo buyers have a Realtor® in their corner. Most retailers you encounter are definitely going to have professionals on the side. Having a pro on the team is the safest method to ensure that you get the best deal feasible.

Once you have a clear, detailed image of the condo you want, make sure that your agent has the same photo. This communication is critical. Or else, you'll both waste time taking a look at homes that hold little attention for you.

Also, make sure your Real estate professional knows your priorities. Your own shared goal is to you should find an excellent condo that fulfills all of your needs; your Real estate agent will then try to satisfy as numerous of your desires as possible.

Idea #4: The Cliché holds true... Location, Location, Location!

The actual desirability and resale associated with your condo-to-be depends on area more than any other single element. Again, don't let emotion enter the way of a wise investment. Absolutely no condo is an island, and also the value of yours is influenced in what surrounds it.

There are several components that combine to create a great location. Your first consideration will be the neighborhood itself. Every community has its own unique character; you have to make sure you'd be comfortable within the one you're thinking of residing in. Take a long walk and also observe carefully. Do individuals take pride in their building? Speak with the neighbors and ask queries that give you a better really feel for the property. But take care not to appear judgmental-you might be speaking with a future neighbor. The Avenir showflat

If the creating is to your satisfaction, search for units on the market in the area. Very large units surrounded by smaller sized ones tend to appreciate not more than a large condo among some other large condos. Conversely, the tiniest unit in the building is usually "pulled up" by the additional units in the building. But it might take longer to sell an inferior unit when the time arrives because many people are unwilling to pay for extra for the neighborhood.

The exterior edge of a neighborhood is generally not good for resale value. You will find noticeable dividing lines among dissimilar neighborhoods. It could be a positive change in architectural styles, house use or something else. Choose a condo in the middle of a area of similar buildings; it is going to hold its value much better. The Avenir showflat

An exception to this rule is really a building on the edge of the neighborhood bounded by drinking water, parkland, a golf course or even other open space. Organic boundaries appeal to buyers, these types of "edge" condos can actually control a better price. Be mindful, but of the planned use for your open space. A general public park is nice; a brand new freeway, strip mall or perhaps industrial center isn't.

Other activities that can negatively affect home values are traffic, noises, smells, etc . Be sure to provide the neighborhood a long, hard appear. The condo you're interested in might be perfect, but if the neighborhood offers problems, your investment will not be worth as much when the period comes to sell.

Tip #5: Enjoy the Present, but Think about the Future.

Buying a condo is actually a big investment. If you can extend a little today financially to order unit that you can grow with-whether it's having a child, managing a home-based business, or turning an extra room into your personal gym-do it. In the long run, it will oftimes be less expensive than moving up to some marginally larger unit once the need does arise.

Hint #6: Pay Attention to Red Flags Whenever Evaluating a Condo.

When analyzing the advantages and drawbacks of a specific property, be sure you know the distinction between acceptable and undesirable problems.

Some issues-peeling color, worn carpeting, ugly wallpaper-are cosmetic and can be easily cured. You can even use these "problems" during negotiations to lower the actual asking price. After all, you'll need to spend cash to bring the condo as much as snuff.

Make careful notice of the issues you identify that can be used to your advantage. Avoid nit-pick, however-if taken to extreme conditions, you could end up alienating owner and creating a hostile environment.

In my experience, spending a few 100 dollars on a professional house inspection is the best investment you will ever make. A professional inspector brings experience in analyzing a great many homes, good assessment standards, and an impartial perspective. And a written statement can be an excellent negotiating device.

Don't let a condo's good attributes blind you to really real problems. If you do, the probabilities are good that you'll end up investing much more money than you actually expected at some point down the line.

The good thing for buyers is that the legislation now requires sellers to create complete disclosure of recognized material defects. Make sure to understand this in writing. And carefully think about how these defects may influence what you're offering.

Tip #7: Some Fixer-Uppers Are "Good-Byes, " Bad Buys.

You may be the sort associated with person who looks at a condo needing significant work as "a challenge" and an opportunity to make money. Lots of people have bought fixer-uppers at below-market rates, invested a little perspiration equity or more than a small money on renovation, after which eventually put it back on the market in a profit.

But if your unit isn't very priced low enough, you will not recoup your investment of your time, trouble and expense. Before you decide to proceed, do a careful analysis of what you'll have to commit. Then, consult with your Realtor to understand what you can reasonably be prepared to earn when you put the device back on the market. And be absolute to consider the unexpected-there's no such thing like a "sure thing. "

Word of advice #8: Put on Your Best Online poker Face.

One of the costliest errors you can make is letting the vendor know how much you love his / her condo. Once you've let it slide, you can just about forget about discussing the price-the other part knows how motivated you might be. In fact , a seller could see this as an opportunity to press a little more money out of a person even when you've made a good provide to start with; no matter how wonderful a house is, keep it to your self.

Keep your own situation in order to yourself as well. Information may be used against you. How much if you're willing to spend, the size of home loan you can afford, your move-in deadline-it all can be used to draw out more money out of your pocket. Make sure to tell your agent everything she or he needs to know to be effective in your behalf-whether you plan to pay funds or the size of the mortgage loan you can afford, etc . Still keep your personal circumstances along with timeline to yourself.

Inversely, knowledge is power. The reason why behind a sale can often be utilized to your competitive advantage throughout negotiations. For example , a owner whose company has moved him to another city is most likely more motivated to sell compared to someone who is still looking for a brand new home.

Other signs of any motivated seller include a vacant product, or a condo that's been available on the market for several months with cutbacks in the asking price.

Tip #9: Don't Be Pressured, but Perform Negotiate.

While you want to shift expeditiously once you're within negotiations, don't let the other aspect pressure you into a fast close. It may be a sign that there are something you should know, but avoid. And the reason could be really worth money.

Sometimes, the seller's Realtor will try to frighten a hesitant buyer using the threat of another severe potential buyer. Don't get into this trap-it will only set you back money. If there is another purchaser, then the seller's agent will attempt to get a bidding war began. In these situations, whoever is victorious also loses because the customer ends up overpaying.

If there is not another buyer, there's a very good chance that "the various other deal" will fall via and the seller's agent can come calling. Be sure to let the different side know that you might be curious if this were to happen, before you decide to walk away.

You may be the type of person who else prefers a hard-and-fast price on everything. "I don't like to be able to haggle, " you state. But negotiation is the key to get a good deal! If your goal is to get the best property possible for the least amount of money, then you definitely better be prepared to play. Your current Realtor can assist you with these sometimes-stressful negotiations.

Tip #10: Prepared - Set - Buy!

Good properties move quick! Once you've made up your mind to get condo and you've arranged your Realtor, be prepared to create decisions quickly. If you find the proper unit today but not necessarily ready to buy until the next day, you may already be too late. It can that simple-if you have dropped in love with a particular condominium, another person in the market probably has too.

If this all sounds like lots of work, it is. But this really is to be expected when you're purchasing anything of such excellent value. And you'll thank oneself and your Realtor when the end result is to your satisfaction.

Make sure you feel free to call me if you want further explanation on these tips, or if you have any kind of real estate questions at all.

The mission is to share the data and insights I've collected from years of experience in the market in order to help you optimize your home investment.

The Avenir by GuocoLand. Hotline 61006768. Get Discount, Direct Developer Price, Brochure, Floor Plan, Price List & More. Former Pacific Mansion at River Valley

1 note · View note

thepatricktreestump · 5 years ago

Text

pride month asks!

some questions and answers about my experience with LGBTQ+

1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I identify as bisexual and genderfluid, so my pronouns regularly change from she/her to he/him.

2. How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

I have always been a huge ally to the LGBTQ+ community, but one day I was stepping out of the shower, and kind of thinking to myself what the difference between having sex with a guy and having sex with a girl was. After contemplation, I thought to myself that they really weren’t all that different to me, and I’d probably enjoy having sex with a girl just as much as having sex with a guy. I researched online a little bit, and I figured out that yeah, I’m probably bi. Especially after I fell in love with both Brendon Urie and his wife Sarah, I was pretty damn sure I was bi.

3. Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Sometimes I do, but it honestly doesn’t bother me too much because I come from a very conservative, religious, small town background. I grew up in a private Catholic school where everyone is Republican and nobody even knows what being gay is, much less a different gender. So I’m kind of used to putting up a façade for others. As I graduated and moved away from my hometown, things have been much better, and by politely correcting others, I’m able to be confident in who I am as well as educate the people around me.

4. Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

Oh god, haha. I distinctly remember that night when I knew I was going to tell my best friend I was genderfluid. I was so nervous and scared, I just sort of blurted it out over text, in all caps, like “I’M GENDERFLUID” and then I kind of panicked, so I proceeded to send her about a hundred Hamilton gifs to cover up what I had typed out and sent. Although it was awkward in the moment, we both laugh about it to this day, and she’s been so accepting and kind to me ever since that moment.

5. Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

For my friends, it was a lot of anxiety and doubt. For my parents, fear and chaos. My friends didn’t understand, they thought it was a disease of some sort, and actually a lot of them stopped talking to me. Again, conservative religious background, but still, no excuse. I grew up in a very abusive household, and it wasn’t my choice to come out. My therapist had forced me to tell my parents in a session and it was an absolute mess. Coming out wasn’t the best experience, especially as a freshman in high school.

6. If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

I kind of explained above, but basically not so well. My dad went absolutely off on me, and said some of the most horrible things I have ever been told in my life. He said that I was dragging everyone I knew towards hell, that what I was is unmoral, unnatural, and unnormal, acted like I was some sort of monster, said it was extremely difficult to even be related to me, and that I was corrupting his family and disrespecting his household. It was a miserable time for me, but through music, I was able to write a song about it that helped me cope.

7. What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

A lot of people assume that because I’m bisexual, I’m some sort of fetish they can use to fulfill their dirty fantasies. I’m always asked to be a part of a couple’s threesome. I am told that the only reason I’m bi is because I want double the opportunities to have sex. It’s ridiculous and disgusting. I’m bi because I like people. Not because I like sex.

8. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

I really fucking love beanies! Most of the time I read that’s the essential clothing item for all genderfluid people, which makes me laugh, because it’s true. Combat boots or converse, black jeans, a band t-shirt, a sports bra or binder, a jean jacket, and a beanie is always my go-to outfit. So much so, to the point my sister told me that every time I go out in public I’m always wearing the same thing, which kind of makes me laugh.

9. Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I don’t know if you’ve ever read the magna, Tamen de Gushi, but I absolutely love it! That lesbian couple is everything! I also really love Shane Dawson and Ryland Adams, of course. Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine and his husband is amazing. Elijah Daniels and Sam also make me super fucking happy.

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

Growing up as a theater kid, I’ve always seen makeup as accentuated and over the top. I only ever wore makeup on stage, and even then, it was special effects type stuff, zombies and clowns and shit. Once I hit puberty though, my mom would force me to wear makeup because she said it would make me beautiful. I hated it. She would force me to put on makeup before I left the door and it made me have horrible self image issues. As I grew older, I found a love for makeup through beauty gurus and drag queens, and I sometimes dabble in it either for fun or for special events like prom or fancy dinners. I always prefer no makeup though, I feel like to me, wearing it is just hiding behind a mask.

11. Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

ALL THE GODDAMN FUCKING TIME. Since I’ve gotten my haircut, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Wearing a binder also helps so much! However, I still really want to start T and I think that will help a lot. Dysphoria affects me in so many ways, whether my self confidence or my body image, my anxiety and my mood, etc., a lot of it depends on how comfortable I am in my own skin.

12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Homophobic people are probably the stupidest people I’ve ever met in my life, to be honest. I’ve heard thousands of dumb things come from their mouths. I think the most outrageous myth I’ve heard is probably that being gay is a disease, and that simply being around another gay person will make you gay. Like who the fuck comes up with this shit? Smh.

13. What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

How creative we are. We’re resilient and outspoken and passionate, but most of all, so talented. The queer community is full of inventors, politicians, emperors, artists, directors, actors, musicians, and more. It’s gorgeous just how much we are capable of.

14. What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

The discrimination breaks my heart. The fact that we are terrified to so much as hold hands with the one we love in public. To be beaten, tortured, and killed simply for who we are. That is what hurts me the most.

15. Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

No, I find it sort of ironic every time there is a pride event I happen to have a concert on that day. Once, a Panic! concert, which honestly is sort of the equivalent of Pride. We went and there were so many LGTBQ+ flags and people and it was so gorgeous. I have attended pride prom once though, and it was probably the most fun I had ever had in a really long time.

16. Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I absolutely adore Miles McKenna. He has helped me so much in finding myself and accepting who I am. He’s such a huge spokesperson for the community and I am so grateful to have him in my life.

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

I’ve been in several relationships, surprisingly, through parties and discussions and friends. My s.o. right now I met through high school, which was crazy in itself, but we’ve been dating for almost two years now and I love them to death.

18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children is one of my favorite books ever and it’s about being FTM trans and I love it so much wow.

19. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

So very much. After coming out to one of my best friends, she stared at me, disgusted and went “well don’t try to have sex with me or anything” and then proceeded to never talk to me again. I’ve received dirty looks and glares, been misgendered on purpose, and even received death threats. It’s horrible.

20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

I love American Horror Story so much because of just how much representation it gives our community and how natural they make it seem! And of course, “Love, Simon” was an amazing movie that made me cry like a baby.

21. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

I don’t really know about bloggers, but definitely Youtubers! Shane Dawson, Miles Chronicles, Thomas Sanders, Ally Hills, Anthony Amorim, Elijah Daniels, Elle Mills, Garrett Watts, Sam Collins, Todrick Hall, and Trevor Moran are a couple of my favorites.

22. Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I don’t think queer should be a slur. I think queer is a form of self expression and an umbrella term for the community, and I believe many other LGBTQ+ members agree. It’s a word that we take great pride in rather than shame or discrimination.

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but god I would love to.

24. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

For me, it’s simply just a part of who I am. Just like the weather, my gender simply changes and I adapt to it. It makes me comfortable in my own skin and proud of who I am. I wouldn’t change being genderfluid for the world.

25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I fucking hate the idea of pushing a human being out of my vagina, and I would probably want anything else in the entire world other than giving birth. Being pregnant for nine months sounds absolutely miserable and dysphoric, and I cannot even imagine going through labor. However, I would like to have kids, just simply through foster care or adoption, never like my own biological children. There are more than enough kids who need good homes who already exist and I’m more than happy to give it to them.

26. What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You aren’t alone and there are so many people just like you. Your parents do not own you and cannot tell you who you are supposed to be. You are you.

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

Gender roles are complete bullshit. Let a guy be a stay at home dad. Let a woman be the working one. Everyone should have responsibilities regardless of their gender. If there’s dirty dishes, do the fucking dishes, don’t wait for your spouse to get home to do them. It’s absolutely ridiculous, really. Just do your part in the relationship.

28. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

It breaks my heart how much pain and suffering one has to go through just to be themselves, especially for women and trans people. It’s horrible.

29. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

It’s natural! It’s comfortable! And it’s normal! Being oneself is just part of life, there’s no need to have shame or guilt about it. Respect someone the way you wish you would be accepted and loved.

30. Why are proud to be lgbt+?

We have worked so fucking hard to be recognized for who we are. There’s still so much we need to do though, and we aren’t ever going to stop until every single one of our siblings gain the love and respect they deserve.

#pride month #lgbtq+#genderfluid #bisexual #genderfluidity #bisexuality #bi asks #genderfluid asks #pride asks #happy pride month

8 notes · View notes

sparda3g · 5 years ago

Text

Attack on Titan Chapter 118 Review

youtube

We can dance around and talk about how utterly amazing the latest anime season has been, but let’s not forget where it came from. The manga content was already incredible, so translating to the anime version is mouth-wateringly blessing. It’s the true Game of Thrones Season 8, only it’s not, because well, look at the title. However, the quality is most certainly true. When they say Sunday hype is over, I say it’s not, until the anime is over. But enough about that, we the manga readers need to look beyond, thinking to ourselves, “Will the future content be as incredible?” While that’s up for debate, I can say it’s looking downright stellar, and this chapter pushed it further.

Zeke may have left the anime (for now), but here he is in the manga, ready to play baseball. I really like that angle shot with Yelena staring to the sky as the blimps are burning and falling. It’s a shot that nailed her character well: a cult follower that praise the God for eliminating the devils. Zeke is a game changer; taking out titans and weapons left and right. Floch the douche and others come in to play as well. Basically, the tide has reversed from the last chapter, though later on, the ground will be on even level; sort of. I like Magath for not giving in to retreat, even when the odds are against him. He wants “justice” against Zeke the traitor. That is soldier’s pride at its core.

The suspense continues to escalate with Eren slowly heading towards Zeke. Honestly, I don’t know if I should be rooting for him or not, but then again, so many good characters are victimized by Zeke’s spinal fluid, so I am more frightened than excited.

A new scenario is created with the objective to save Falco, and this will be the best opportunity to show Gabi and her development payoff. It begins slowly with her wanting to tag along with Colt to save him, because she feels she owe him a lot after many hurdles. That’s admirable of her. It seems natural since she’s a warrior, but it becomes apparent later on. Falco and Nile have a nice and a bit depressing conversation. I’m glad Nile receive more moments, with Falco no less. It’s two genuine good people chatting, and that itself is rare. It’s sad though that Nile is trying to cheer him up, but thinks his time is up; won’t be able to see his family again. I hope Isayama is merciful on him.

The entire jail scene with the main crew is great, filled with plenty of really good insightful character moments. Onyankopon did in fact run off to free Survey Corps to assist Eren. Called it I guess. It could have been a simple path. Unlock the cell, inform about the problem, and ask anything after the battle is over. Instead, these characters unleashed their personal feelings and thoughts that one would say, “It’s long overdue.” Not to say the writing has been lacking, rather how long it has been building up to reach to that certain point.

Take Connie for example. It was expected of him to rage and take it on Onyankopon. However, his anger isn’t solely based on currently. It’s his frustration and experiences since the beginning that have been eating him deep inside. I can’t argue back at him; not when he’s tearing up. You can really tell he’s tired of everything. Come to think of it, he has suffered a lot; losing his best friend Sasha, losing his family, and getting betrayed by his so-called friends. I’m surprised he lasted this long mentally.

Onyankopon is the only guy that I can genuinely trust from the Yeagerists and thankfully, he comes clean. It’s like what I thought; he had no choice but to follow Yelena’s orders. Otherwise, well, brain is served. This is the woman that headshot a guy just for complaining. It’s as if it’s translating the internet world of today; nothing but restriction and ridicule. You can believe his words based on previous chapters. All of his reactions were genuine; not a clue on what’s happening. I felt a bit sorry for him. Thankfully, Armin exist to believe his story. Good boy saves the day, just like in the anime.

The planning procedure is very interesting. The option that would benefit them the most is the rumbling. At least they won’t eradicate the race; just intimidate the world. One of the interesting parts is with Mikasa. She is still conflicted with what Eren told her about Ackerman. As believable that story is, Armin believes Eren has lied. It’s astonishing because Isayama made it very convincing with the past events, including the headache part, and to call it a lie is conflicting. It won’t be against the writing if it is a lie, but then, what is the truth. Perhaps Eren does know, but twist the truth somewhere.

I like the fact Armin picked up the problem with his friends. Everyone easily bought into Eren’s words and can’t think otherwise. This does confirm that Armin lied about crying for the Euthansia Plan because he doesn’t buy it not one bit. Luckily for Eren, Armin is a great best friend you can ask for; defending his action and believing there’s a real agenda behind everything. Plus, his argument is very convincing. It is likely that Eren was ambushed by Yelena with a plan that must not be turned down. We know how insane she is, so this makes sense. Furthermore, Eren is more towards on protecting his friends, rather than wiping out existence. If accept the plan, the rumbling option will be included. It’s a lot of work, let alone to think about, but it’s beginning to add up a lot.

Plenty of characters are getting their moments to input, so it’s Jean’s turn. He’s another character that has been receiving a good amount of developments. Here, it’s about his opinion on Eren. He still maintain the thought that Eren will send everyone straight to hell; he’s not entirely wrong about that. However, the fact is, he actually envied the guy. He’s irritated by him, presenting as a damn cool guy. That’s rather charming of him to say. Who said a horse can’t express love? Connie cools down and go with others as well. Now, it feels like a good uprising moment; encouraging and relieving.

The one part that continues to make me go in circle is why Eren did all of that to his closest friends, Mikasa and Armin. I know he has to stage an act, if Armin’s theory is on-point, but the reasoning, the explanation, and the disconnection weren’t necessary. I still remember that moment and it continues to upset me, like good God, guy. It is perplexing when Armin may have discovered the answer and it ties in to the beach scene, where Eren ask about wiping out the enemy across the ocean. Something tells me Eren wants the rumbling into full effect, rather than partially. Maybe what I thought before may be true after all. By that, I mean his way to sacrifice himself without making his friends worried. It’s complex, but at least Mikasa’s head is in the right place. I hope the real reunion comes really soon.

You got to love Jean for having the kintama to go straight to armed men and belittle them, putting them in their place. He is seriously shining a lot in this arc. All the soldiers in the cell are released, so those crybabies (higher-ups) can stop crying now. You got to respect Shadis for blaming on a bear, obviously shielding the young cadets. He really deserves better. Pixis has always been a badass, and being thrown to the cell did not stop that. It’s a good move to form a group for those who drank the wine, so if the roar occurs, they won’t disrupt others who haven’t.

I really like the symbolism with Mikasa leaving her scarf behind. It really feels like the last arc when she has done something unspeakable; her character that is. It is sad because it is something she holds preciously the whole time. You could see it as a way to address her freedom, acting on her own accord. Part of me thinks this is a death flag, but I believe she will be safe. I don’t know how the scarf will come in play in the long run, but the stepping stone got me moved.

Zeke is seriously turning the tide easily. He’s dominating everything there; titans, blimps, you name it. Reiner has no chance to come close to Eren. It’s just a massacre. Why even have Armin and others? Insurance? Yelena, oh man, talk about her sanity wearing thin. She is undoubtedly sick; enjoying the destruction sight and await for the world to change. Her sitting posture can define her lunacy. Just before Armin and other set off, she has one freakish face that can haunt dreams. Holy crap, my body was shaken with fear. That face, as well as the follow-up, is the face that screams, “Please help my lord and savior. Or else, I will eat you.” I know what I said. I don’t know if she’s on to Armin, but her smile definitely says failure is not an option.

One of my favorite parts of the chapter is the reunion that I didn’t think it would warm my heart. To begin with, Nile is a true gentleman, helping Falco to reunite with his loved ones. Colt, on the other hand, isn’t much because he was getting ready to kill Nile. I don’t blame him, but I was growing worry. Praise the sun, Gabi’s development payoff is kicking into high gear. She stops Colt and instead of unfortunate incident, it all goes smoothly. Falco is reunited. Somewhere, Erwin is smiling. Seriously, please have mercy on Nile, Isayama.

Gabi didn’t understand her action, but it’s a step in the right direction. This proves her heart has changed and her action speaks louder than her mind. First, she reacted as someone who believes in good people. Next, she feels and accepts the pain of her past actions that brought a young unforgiving enemy. Braus Family walks by and while the father believes in Gabi and Falco, Kaya wishes for them to be killed. Cold, but the damage is done. Usually, Gabi would react like, “So what? You’re part of the devils,” but she’s finally accepting the blame and take it all in.

Her development is very solid. It was helped by the slow process, digesting slowly on every part, large or small. It is too little, too late, especially taking the life of a beloved character, but that’s the idea. War can corrupt the mind of a child, whether it’s from manipulation or experience; Gabi is no exception. It’s similar to Reiner, only she has a chance to change and perhaps obtain a better life. She is still young and despite the damage is severe, she admits her faults, so it’s not like she won’t learn anything. I don’t know what Isayama has in mind for her conclusion, but hopefully forgiving.

As for Falco, he finally tells them the truth that he was responsible for the invasion on Marley. I like how very telling Gabi’s reaction is. If it wasn’t for the development, she would definitely pull an Eren from the infamous traitor scene. But now that she has mellowed out, let alone exhausted by this point, she doesn’t react anything but sadness. Those two went through so much hell as kids; it’s damning that they made it this far. As sad this situation has gotten, Falco goes further to the point he has grown up.

He confesses his love to Gabi. That’s right; about to beat the main cast in the race to love. In all seriousness, I’m surprised yet proud like a father to watch him confess like a man. The boy is all grown up. Now, this is a death flag, a classic one at that. However, it was more or less toned down since he did mention the reason for his confession. It’s only adding more to the total of suspense within this battle. It’s not guaranteed, because there are times where happiness prevail, but in here, it’s uncertain. I pray to God that he makes it out okay. I’m fine with this pairing and Gabi isn’t accepting his end to be here. The only hope is if Zeke gives a damn and realize Falco will become a titan if he roars. It all lies on it.

My other favorite part, perhaps the best one, is the last action before the enticing cliffhanger. As you already know, Zeke dominates when far range; no one can’t top him. That is unless you’re Pieck and carrying a powerful cannon shot. At first, I didn’t want to believe that she was killed by Floch and others. That would seriously piss me off. I already hate Floch, so doing this would boil me red hot. It turns out that the Cart Titan’s death was a lie and she fooled everyone. Translation: her MVP streak continues. I demand a figurine for my collection!

It’s damn clever to act defeated and let the titan dissolve slowly to convince everyone. Floch didn’t know who killed her, which led to Marlely soldiers to ambush and actually use the corpse for cover. Who said they ran out of ideas for usefulness? On top of that, the cannon can be used by men, so Magath aims and fires right at Zeke; so close on wiping his human body away. Honorable mention or MVP, Magath is the man. For a normal guy, he sure is a badass. Just like that, the table is balanced (for now).

The stakes are extraordinarily high. The suspense is insane. Zeke is down, but can recover. It’s only matter of time. Magath can’t get a shot from the angle, so that’s no longer an option. Reiner and Porco are still standing. Eren is standing. Falco and others are on their way. Armin and others are approaching. Who will reach to Zeke first? What is the destination? It’s a loose ball to grab to score a victory. It’s mind-numbing just by thinking about it. The possibilities are endless. Clearly and I know you’re going to hate me when I say this, especially if you follow me in other series,

“We’re in the endgame now.” I couldn’t resist. Seriously, it’s very likely that the next chapter is the endpoint.

This chapter was exhilarating, at times unnerving, and suspenseful. There were plenty of character moments that left me awed, proud, terrified, and sympathetic. The action was tensed. Some of the scenery and angle shots are really good, especially that destruction scene. There were plenty of interesting info that I am hunger for answers, but the battle must be dealt with first. So many death flags to worry about, but at least keep Falco alive. For God’s sake, keep one pairing alive, dammit. The suspense is killing me. The next chapter can’t come any sooner…

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #chapter 118 #review #spoilers

6 notes · View notes

modernlcve · 6 years ago

Text

* — stats — rory hanna !

* — basics !

full name: aurora catherine hanna. nickname(s): answers exclusively to rory. age: twenty-one. date of birth: august twenty-fifth. place of birth: carina bay, north carolina gender: female. pronouns: she / her. sexual orientation: bisexual. level of education: high school graduate. pursuing a degree in journalism and political science.

* — physical !

tattoos: she’s genuinely one bad day away from getting a grl pwr tattoo but for now. none. piercings: ears pierced twice. notable features: she got a cute lil nose. weakness(es): restless legs. scar(s): one in her hairline on the center of her forehead.

* — domestic !

occupation: student. residence: she lives in the house with mr. hanna. social class: solidly middle class. parents: she’s closer with mr. hanna, she always felt more pressured to be a High Achiever by their mother and it kinda screwed stuff up for them. siblings: she considers austin one of her Best Friends even if she’d never say it to his face. she’s more apt to make fun of aubrey but ultimately does really like having a dorkass big sister. extended family: i should ask what u think but. nah.

* — personality !

positive traits: quick-witted. driven. confident. negative traits: snide. bitter. obstinate. myers-briggs ( x ): istj; the logistician. temperament: choleric. moral alignment: neutral good. horoscope: virgo, the virgin. hogwarts house: ravenclaw.

* — favorites !

movie: beetlejuice. tv show: orange is the new black. book: pride & prejudice. drink: vanilla chai latte. food: sour gummy worms. animal: cats. color: red. song: landslide by fleetwood mac. artist: lorde. celebrity crush: hozier.

* — impressions !

first impression: she’s purposely a little off putting. she’s dry and sarcastic, and, as we been know, doesn’t crack a smile for just anyone. the big exception to this is in a more professional setting. at school, she’s much better at small talk and forcing a smile. it’s why she’s sure to keep the two worlds separate. self impression: she knows that ultimately, she’s smart and capable and handling her shit. but she’s still a person, and one with very high expectations for herself, which every now and then takes a toll on her. lover impression: she keeps her circle small, but if you get in - especially this far in - she’ll ride or die for you. she’s not the type for big romantic gestures or getting too mushy, but all the same, she’s dedicated to people that show up for her.

* — et cetera !

turn ons: confidence. intelligence. spontaneity. turn offs: arrogance. spinelessness. condescending tones. drink/drugs/smoke: yes/weed/no. dominant hand: right. clean or messy: clean. early bird or night owl: night owl. hobbies or special talents: yeah she learned how to skateboard and longboard in her pursuit of being a Cool Girl.

* — QUESTIONNAIRE !

01. where was your character born? what brought them to carina? what do they like most about the town?

rory was born in carina. she’s planning her escape, but she’s not really in a huge hurry to get out of town. if anything, she’s scared to leave. she likes being a big fish in a little pond. she likes feeling in control of a familiar environment. the idea of leaving the nest and failing is terrifying to her.

02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?

rory’s relationship with her family has changed in the past year or so. she’s always been close to austin and that much hasn’t changed. she used to be closer to their mom, even if their relationship was a little messed up, but with everything that’s happen, she’s taken the opportunity to be a little shit to her. she’s more defensive of their dad now than ever, having watched him work through all this. she’s trying to reconnect with aubrey, and rely on her as the Big Feminine Influence in her life, but it’s a process. she hangs out with The Crew, but is notably close with the parrish twins. she’s probably closest with Austin but seth is a close second.

03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?

again rory’s biggest fear is that she’s just like. a really cool girl for carina but when she gets into the real world she’s not gonna be worth shit. she wants to ditch the idea of law school and pursue journalism full time, she wants to get out there and live and write and be someone, but there’s a nagging fear that it’s not the big smart plan her and her mom made when she was a freshman in high school and she’s gonna fail and be useless. if she’s told this to anyone, it’d probably be seth, but i don’t think they’re the type to dwell on stuff like that. it’s more like spewing random Red Flag bullshit and then moving on forever?

04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?

rory has been Aggressively telling herself that she wasn’t actually in love with seth since he turned her down. but regardless of if she was or not, he definitely broke her heart for a hot minute there. she really felt like she was putting herself out on a limb there but, deep down, part of her really expected things to work out. she’s repressed it all pretty well by now, but for a while, it just stung and she was embarrassed to have poured her heart out like that only to be rejected. it’s why she spent some time so gung ho on getting out there and dating around and trying to find a new path, but nothing really took. she’s currently sworn off relationships, at least until she graduates, but again, there’s just one little part of her that would break that rule, under the right circumstances.

06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.

she’s probably holed up in her room. maybe studying, maybe just being around the house and goofing off. she funnels a lot of her free time into school work, but likes to take a chunk of time off on the weekends to decompress. she either spends it watching something on netflix or hanging out with her Pals.

07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?

rory really vividly remembers a day when she was in elementary school and she got to sit in on a couple of her mom’s classes because no one could Watch her one afternoon not because the classes were amazing but because, even if it was just in a small talky way, she bragged on her, in a way that made her feel so competent and grown up like. hell yeah i read at an 8th grade level and kick ass at brainteasers :nailcare: close second would b the time in middle school some Prep called her one fucked up biotch at lunch and seth threatened 2 kick his ass for her honor that meant a Lot

09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset?

rory gets overwhelmed thinking about school and her life beyond it. when she’s upset, she’s probably got some lame spot around the cove on some little hillside where she can sit and watch the ocean and just Decompress for a minute or alternatively face the other way and watch all the tourists on the beach just enjoying a special day. it helps her zone out and avoid things just long enough to move on.

10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?

yeah i thought the pizza night thing was really cute so im just going to Echo that. while she’s always been the Rebel of the family she does lowkey miss when things were Easier and the biggest conflict between them was whether or not sausage was a valid topping to spring for.

#( rory hanna. )#( stats. )

2 notes · View notes

sleepingonmyproblems · 3 years ago

Note

Girl Almighty is simply too gay not to be gay

And not just spur of the moment let me pick up this pride flag but premeditated Gay Shit™ with rainbow stage lights

Not to mention all the performances where Harry really gives it his all

The connection here to More Than This jumpstarted a bunch of ideas that may or may not make sense but I couldn’t stop thinking about this and wanted to write it out somewhere.

More Than This can entirely be professional songwriters doing a quick pop song about girls that ends up having an entirely different meaning to the band who actually sing it. All the changes Harry and Louis made to the lyrics while performing, like “I can love you more than Stan” and “women don’t feel right” show a gay interpretation of the song’s meaning that’s echoed in a lot of things they would later write: you’re in the wrong relationship and I hate to see it so come be with me instead (I know you wanna leave so come on baby be with me so happily). I think the connection between these songs makes sense even if they were never supposed to be connected, simply because they’re sung by the same people who interpret songs for themselves based on their own experiences.

Whatever the songwriters intended for Girl Almighty, I’d assume that when singing it they found meaning in the lyrics that had to do with their own lives. I read this song as an early companion to Perfect Now, even if that’s a huge stretch. Perfect Now is comforting someone who’s feeling insecure and doesn’t want to dance, and Girl Almighty is celebrating them when they do feel like dancing and being their wonderful extra selves.

If I was a closeted boyband member traveling the world singing this song in front of millions of people, here's how I would interpret it:

Her light is as loud as as many ambulances as it takes to save a saviour

She’s a lot. She grabs your attention, you can’t ignore. Colorful, flashy, Harry on stage in a nutshell. (And Louis less obviously cause he tones himself down a lot more but still definitely there)

She floats through the room on a big balloon some say she’s such a fake that her love is made up no, no, no, no

Lots of people are calling you too flamboyant and accusing you of “acting gay” for attention but I know the real you and that’s not true (because you’re not being fake and our love is not made up)

Let’s have another toast to the girl almighty

You’re awesome and we should celebrate you for your awesomeness because that’s what makes you you and it’s great. I’m so compelled by how awesome you are that I’m going to gather the whole room to toast to you together

Let’s pray we stay young stay made of lightning

I hope we continue to have enough courage to be bold and ourselves and flashy like this and not give in to the dreary conformity that’s being an “adult”

Am I the only believer ... there's something happening here

I can’t possibly be the only one who understands how amazing you are / we are

I get down on my knees for you

I’m so in love that I feel like worshipping you (basically the way they look at each other in causal conversation) and also we love to slip in innuendos at every opportunity

I hear this song as them being brazenly confident, declaring their love for the other being themselves, looking out at the sea of people in the crowd and saying “let’s all toast to how special he is.” Harry feels gets a rush of confidence/inspiration so he grabs the pride flag and waves it around for everyone to see.

youtube

Also this post about Louis looking like he's stopping himself from dancing during Girl Almighty and how in general they have to tone down their natural mannerisms to act more straight so they might appreciate a song celebrating bright and loud people

OR it could be the interpretation of “she” and “you” being separate people and Harry grabs the flag to say she IS a fake, the “no, no, no, no” is a sarcastic “oBvIoUsLy”, we can cheers to her along with everyone else in public and then alone together it doesn't even matter if I'm the only believer because I can get down on my knees for you *ahem*

Either way I’m claiming this song as gay

can you / have you done a lyric analysis on girl almighty like i just DONT UNDERSTAND IT

Ah yay Girl Almighty!

Okay BUCKLE UP again, this is a wild ride because uh I managed to make it sad and gay. On the surface this song reads as a fun bop that is celebrating a big personality bubbly good girl but with a bunch of oddly specific wait what lines. With songs like these I tend to think it's not what it looks like at all, can't help but try to crack them, to dig (myself) deeper and deeper (in a hole) until I have come up with an interpretation that makes enough sense to me that I can finally stop letting it haunt me. So that said, and thanks for this anon <3, naturally this question broke me.

First of all there is one other 1D song that parallels this song, which is More Than This:

(hold on I'm not done)

Now I don't think these songs relate in the sense that they're the exact same story (that the you is the same you and all that), these parallels might very well be coincidental as nearly all of it is quite generic, but let's quickly describe More Than This: there is the singer, a "you" and a "he". The singer can't stand that the one they love (you) is with another person (he), and there seems to be cheating involved, a theme seen more often in 1D songs as well as in their solo music later on, especially Harry's. And I don't think that's because there's actual cheating happening, but in case of H because his lover publicly pretends to be with someone else. I know I know More Than This is just a little pop song meant as exactly that and not much more, I don't think More Than This was written with whatever relationships the boys had at the time in mind, (here's the songwriter saying he wrote it in 30 mins in 2010) BUT, you CAN interpret it in such a way. You CAN care enough about your (being the songwriter) or the boy's interpretation of it to use it as a baseline to write Girl Almighty years down the line.

Back to the parallels, although this unfortunately doesn't clarify any of the oddly specific lines, and nearly all of the parallels are of generic phrases/words, something interesting does happen in both songs with being seen vs being heard:

More than this: If I'm louder, would you see me.

More than this again: Do you hear me, I'm blinded cause you are everything I see

Girl Almighty: Her light is as loud as many ambulances(meant to alert either senses)

(this also made me think of Niall's Mirrors, which I'm sorry but you can't tell me that sont isn't about Harry, if you can't see that I'd be happy to clarify, "She looks into her mirror, wishing someone could hear her, so loud")

Also there is a religious theme, or at least it being used as an analogy:

More Than This: "praying/on my knees", "see the light"

Girl Almighty: "almighty", "saviour", "pray/get down on my knees", "made out of lightning", "believer",

as well as a sense of mortality which I guess falls under the same umbrella:

More Than This: "I might just die inside", "broken", "rescue me/save me" "my body fails"

Girl Almighty: "ambulances", "stay young", "save a saviour"

Ok but this doesn't resolve what Girl Almighty is about. And I wanna try something fun.... Can we make this gay?

I think we can. I know neither songs are written by any of the boys, and again I don't think More Than This is written with any of them in mind, but Girl Almighty could be?

There's a bunch of gay oneliners in More Than This: "I"m dancing alone" "It just dont/won't feel right" "cause we are the same" "In his arms I get weak" (I know I'm pulling that last one out of context LOL; not to mention Harry&Louis singing "women just don't feel right" lololol)

As well as in Girl Almighty: "Some say she's such a fake, that her love is made up" (about fake public relationships), "I get down on my knees for you" (whatyagonnado down there ahem)

Also ofcouse you can make More Than This gay very easily by just switching up the "he" for a "she" and tahdah,

but the interesting thing for Girl Almighty is that you don't even have to, it's already there:

There is the singer ("I"), a "she", a "we", a "you". If you isolate what the singer has to say about them:

She:

Her light is as loud as many ambulances as it takes to save a savior

She floats through the room on a big balloon

Some say she's such a fake, that her love is made up

Let's have another toast to the girl almighty

We:

Let's pray we stay young, stay made out of lightning

You:

I hope you feel what I'm feeling too

I get down on my knees for you

What the singer is feeling, which is believing, feeling, getting down on knees is all directed at the "you". Now the "she" and the "you" can be the same person, sure, but let's just go with the assumption they're not. Then the singer doesn't feel anything towards the "she" other than be willing to have a toast to her. On the surface this means to honour/celebrate them, however "let's have another toast" could also mean to have another drink. It could mean I need a drink because this girl[unaffectionate] is here, being loud, floating through the room on a bigass balloon (why a big baloon? something that's blown up? blown out of proportion? something that can burst? just something taking up all the space?), this girl is fking everywhere and I can't escape it, I need to cope, gimme another drink so I can handle this. (Like "we'll get the drinks in so I get to thinking of her" in Fine Line.)

So what if this is meant towards a girl that the "I" can't stand? Welp, then the line "some say she's such a fake, that her love is made up" starts making sense as it's an indication of people disliking her, perhaps for good reason. Then it also suddenly makes sense as the "she" being someone's beard as this sentence is just an elaborate way to say "fake love" really. And then "Let's pray we stay young, stay made out of lightning" can be interpreted as I hope this bullshit isn't gonna eat us up.

This all circles back to More Than This, where seeing the one you love, the one you get on your knees for, with someone else, and needing to cope with that sight, needing to be saved from that situation, but instead in Girl Almighty, they're just kinda sitting there in the middle of that situation, coping by drinking, but would you believe it, or am I the only believer, am I the only one seeing it for what it is, that it isn't what it looks like, there's something happening here, I hope you're feeling what I'm feeling, that we're the gaysame, cause you save me, you're the savior, oh and also I get down on my knees for you lol innuendos lol.

I'm this close to moving on with my life but then there's still the "Her light is as loud as many ambulances as it takes to save a savior" and seeing the parallel with More Than This, where the fitting lyrics go "you save me"...

...so she's all we can see, trying so hard to have what it takes to save this savior? This savior being the "you"? So... she's putting on a big show to cover for the savior? Or... her light is being compared to all the noise necessary to save the person who is saving others? Or this sentence is just not meant to make sense? Or a reference to something? Maybe yes maybe no? Is the answer 28? Is Olivia even a person? The BRAINPAYNE.

Oh whoa whoa whoa indeed.

For more like this: Love You Goodbye - Perfect Now - a Sunflower Vol 6 rabbit hole - Vibez

#ive never made a post like this before and im sorry if it doesnt really make sense #it was supposed to be really short #i wanted to find one gif and then fell down a rabbit hole #theres just so much going on in this one song with random lyrics about a girl which i really believe this was intended to be #but you can make anything gay if you try hard enough

110 notes · View notes

20qs20somethings · 7 years ago

Photo

Gabe, 26

1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation? Dissatisfied, Driven, Creative

2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today? I think for me it was commencement in college. I went to Brown University and my parents showed up. Previously I had kept my life evenly divided. My social friends from school would exist in one realm and my family life existed in another realm. In that way, I could create these divides like latino culture and family life existed in one sphere and friendship and academic endeavors existed in another.

For me, my identity as a gay man was always more open with friends and academics, I was very open with people in school, about who I am and I was less so with my family. When my parents showed up to commencement it was weird because it was the first time since my parents brought me to school. So we’re sitting down and the president was flagged by two things that were draped by the windows in the building behind her. One was the Brown University flag and the other was the LGBTQ pride flag and I remember my mom turning to me and saying, “Oh that’s a weird thing to choose to hang behind the President to welcome new students.” In my head, I was like, “that’s exactly why I’m here.”

It was weird to feel that tension and to be in a moment where I sort of have to own it because these things are coming to a head. I can’t keep aspects of my personality separated and I think that moment was a weird catalyst for me where I was like, I have to invite my parents into this world and explain what it means to me instead of keeping a divide. I think that was a weird small first step in a lot of steps I later took as I became more comfortable with myself talking to them very honestly about things I wanted to do and my own identity.

3. What’s you’re relationship with social media like? I love and hate it. I used to think Twitter was only good if you’re a celebrity or news outlet. Why would you want to read what people are doing throughout the day? But I’m realizing that social media is about how you use it. Yeah, there’s bullying, shitty language, and anonymous trolls, but it’s also a platform to reach people and engage people in terms of activism and in a message you’re trying to share. I think it exists in this intersection of entertainment media and journalism in a weird way.

I think before, if you wanted to reach an audience it was through TV, movies, or news. Now you can build something from the ground up and it feels a little more democratic that if people like it, they’ll come to you and return to it. So i think there are pros and cons but ultimately, I think I’m embracing its advantages as a platform.

4. Selfies: Thoughts? I don’t take a lot of them. I have more lately which is interesting. I know a lot of my friends are really into owning the selfishness of their selfies because it’s a form of self care and encouraging them to be themselves and appreciate their own body and I think there’s something empowering about that. So I think selfies are fine, they’re silly and they’re good. It just depends how you frame things and how you view it. I think if you don’t put too much stock into how people on the internet receive you and you’re not obsessed with taking selfies to try to project some perfect image of yourself, then it’s fine. Embrace your face.

5. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life? My mom. My mom got an associate degree and had me at twenty. I can’t imagine putting aside my social life and being a frivolous young person to take care of a child at twenty, so infinite respect to my mom for those sacrifices. I think just seeing her drive in making it work within her means has always inspired me to push more and do more.

So if I were a twenty year old with an associate degree, a crappy job, and I had a child, I don’t think I would’ve been able to push through those conditions the same way she did. So if this woman can do that, I can succeed when she’s laid out a red carpet in front of me to have those opportunities. I’ve seen what my mother's gone through and the sacrifices she’s made so that I can have better opportunities and a better life and I don’t want to take that for granted.

6. Do you believe in love? I believe in love, I don’t necessarily believe in the way we’ve packaged ideas of love or the way we define love. I always want to push people to think of love beyond a romantic sense. I can love people that I’m not having sex with or want to marry. I love my friends, and sometimes I love my friends more intensely than I love people I’m in relationships with. I believe in love but I also believe in expanding the definition of love or the ways we can love. I think American culture is really eager to box in ideas of love or appropriate expressions of love. So yeah, I do believe in it, but I don’t think it’s like the stuff of Hollywood romcoms, I think it’s supporting your friends everyday and being there when someone is having a hard time, that's love, and I believe in the human capability to love.

7.Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______” What you make it. Making your own home, your own family, your own goals, and holding yourself to your own standards.

8. What are your thoughts on race? Racial difference is still a thing that exists in this country and as much as I love a world where we don’t have to talk about racial difference, we exist in a world where people are treated differently because of race. So yes, I think it’s something we have to keep talking about and it’s something we have to learn to talk about in honest ways because I don’t think we can move forward on the burden that comes with focusing on racial difference until we’ve owned our history and can truly create a world where people are not judged based on race.

9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media? Yes and no, I think I’m seeing it more and more. I think it’s constantly changing so I think I’ve seen more latinx representation in the news certainly. Pointing to Maria Hinojosa, Soledad O’Brien, Maria Teresa Kumar, these are latinas who have really carved out a place for us to speak about our issues, queer activists like Jose Antonio Vargas, these are people I’ve seen as role models in the world of activism and not just engaging them but as people who were showing up in news and media. I think it’s so cool that people are turning to these activists as resources and voices to paint the full picture. So connecting with them through my work has been great, but I see people like that are changing it. So I want to support people who are changing the conversation and providing visibility in the right ways.

10. Is college overrated? I don’t think an education or knowledge is overrated, I think college is overpriced. I think college is important to keep pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible or were normal. I really didn’t push the way I thought about the world until I got to college, I didn’t know the rich history of activism and struggle in Puerto Rico until I got to college and started pushing myself.

So I think furthering your education whether that is at a traditional college, through a community college, through taking classes that are tailor made to what you need, whatever you want to do, I think it’s imperative to push your education beyond high school and it’s imperative to keep pushing the limits of your knowledge and experience. I don’t think the only place you can achieve that is at a college where you’re paying 50k-60k a year, but it was the best place for the things I wanted to do and I think I’m better for it.

I also think it offered me an opportunity that taught me the ways I’m privileged and how I have to own and use that for the better. Because I didn’t really understand the privilege it was to go to a university and be able to get scholarships for that until I met people from other backgrounds, people I wouldn’t have met in high school or in my hometown and I understood the sacrifices they went through to get there. Oftentimes those sacrifices were more than what I had sacrificed so it put my life and my story into perspective.

11. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work? Fulfillment. I’ve been let go a couple times from jobs, I’ve seen other friends let go. I’ve felt very dissatisfied in some work that i’ve done and when that’s the case and even when I feel like I could get fired or even when I have been laid off, I’ve been able to build something I’m happy with. To me, work is about gaining valuable experience and building friendships and connections, and you can do that anywhere. And you can only do that if you’re satisfied and surrounded by people that are doing work that satisfies you.

Fuck job security, if you can’t find job security in the company someone else has made, make your own thing. Go out and find a place that wants you. I think job security is overrated, if you haven’t pushed to get unionized in the workplace, you should always treat your job like you could be let go, and you’ll be owed nothing. So always have something that you own and that’s yours to fall back on or in your pocket. If you’re dissatisfied, then make it happen and be satisfied.

12. What do you want out of this life? I just want to be happy and comfortable, honestly.

13. What would you say is your biggest character flaw? Not taking enough risks. I think I get really comfortable in certain routines and I really have to build up to make those bold choices or take that leap. What I wish I could do more is own that choice and that impulse earlier. A lot of times I think it’s easy to get stuck in a daily, weekly routine. I’ll go through periods where I go straight home after work and write a few jokes, but I stay home. Part of that is a social anxiety because it’s comfortable, I’m in my home, it’s something I can control. So I want to give up control and take leaps so I think that’s something I want to do more of in the next few years.

14. What’s something that makes you angry? Bullying. If you’re making fun of someone because they’re different than you, like come on, it just speaks so much to your insecurities and it truly is helping no one.

15. Do you think our generation is too focused on being politically correct? I think there’s a difference between political correctness and civil discourse or kindness. I don’t think it’s wrong to push for kindness, I don’t think it’s wrong to treat every human being as if they are deserving of the same rights as everyone else. To me, political correctness is a word that means putting a spotlight on one issue at the disservice of everyone else.

But to me, movements that focus on trans rights or black lives aren’t doing it at the disservice of everyone else. They’re saying “hey, most people or groups are offered this comfort in life and we would like the same thing. We would like you to be aware of the history of these words or ways of treating people.” To me, these movements aren't about policing language, people can say whatever they want, there’s nothing we can do to change that. When protesters, activists, teachers, students, kids ask you to call them a certain thing or speak to them in a certain way or encourage you to ask them how they’d like to be referred to, I don’t understand how that is a threat or risk or ruining our culture.

It’s just opening up our world and vocabulary to be more inclusive of things. Saying we’re too politically correct is just an easy out to not hold people responsible for the impact their words can have particularly as politicians. Because while your speech shouldn’t be policed, you should be aware of the fact that as your speech as a public figure, as a politician, has impact. So in those instances you do have to push back. But to me, ultimately what people are calling for political correctness is just a push for kindness and open mindedness.

16. How do you want to be remembered? I would love for people to say that I taught them something and I made them laugh.

17. What are qualities that you value? Honesty, a sense of humor, compassion, generosity, a sense of responsibility, self awareness, open mindedness.

18. What do you hope 30 will look like? I want to be able to build something from the ground up, specifically something that can help give a playful or comedic platform to people like me. I know that I want to stay working in satire and politics. I know I want to keep giving a voice to the voiceless and I know I want to keep making people think about things that they otherwise wouldn’t have to think about or that they otherwise wouldn’t have been taught.

19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn? That your job doesn’t define you. I think while I was getting a degree and looking for work I was like, “I have to find something that’s perfect for me, speaks for exactly who I am, and lets me be true to myself.” and no job is going to give you that opportunity so long as you are working for someone else and collecting a paycheck, you will always have to temper something about yourself.

I think it’s important to draw that line and realize that the sacrifices you make for a job don’t define you. If it feels like it’s getting to the point where it’s getting to you and the sacrifices you make for the job are making you less happy as a person, you’ve gotta let it go. I define myself as a writer, comedian, activist, but those things don’t define me. I think those are all aspects of my areas of interest and personality that contribute to a broader picture.

Your first job out of college isn't going to be perfect and I really wanted it to be perfect. Make a few sacrifices but never let those sacrifices change who you are at the end of the day and don’t let your work swallow you whole. Every job is an exchange. Sometimes when people are celebrating a job, they might not have it a year later and they might be in a tough time or six months down the line they might realize it's not for them and transfer somewhere else.

20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with? Learn to laugh more. I don’t think laughter is always frivolous, I don’t think that laughing at something means you don’t care about it or you think it’s dumb or silly. I think laughter happens in many ways. We laugh when we learn something surprising, we laugh when someone looks ridiculous, we laugh when we’re really happy and I think owning and leaving room for laughter and joy will do so much work for making people happier.

#20qs20somethings #millennials #interview #love #advice #college #LGBT #latinx #social media #selfies

25 notes · View notes

djrelentless · 7 years ago

Text

This Is Us

It's June 12th. 2017 (the anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando) and I'm trying to get in the spirit of celebrating Pride this year. While I am reflecting on the tragic incident that happened in my home state, I still feel sad for the loss and can't seem to get in the celebratory spirit. It's hard because I'm watching a class warfare divide and conquer the LGBT Community of Toronto. Everyone is still fighting over what happened last year at the Pride parade when Mathieu Chantelois and Pride board of directors decided to use Black Lives Matters as a political statement to show how inclusive they were by inviting the group to be grand marshals. The only thing was, Black Lives Matters knew what that move was really about…a fake olive branch to show how diverse Toronto is after World Pride.

Apparently Mathieu had impressed the board so much with his planning and connections for the previous Pride that they gave him complete control over the 2016 celebration. Along with such moves he spent thousands of dollars on bringing a lot performers, gay celebrities and DJs from out of town to make appearances for Pride weekend while kind of marginalizing the locals and people of color. Now, for a certain demographic of the LGBT Community this was fabulous! They really felt like Toronto was a world class city after World Pride in 2015. The only problem was that by the time we got to the 2016 parade the world had changed a lot. With the rise of police brutality and racial profiling in the United States all over the news, many people of color were forming their own chapters of Black Lives Matters in solidarity. So, there was all kinds of tension bubbling under the surface when this invitation was extended to the group. Given that the organization felt like they were being used for a photo-opportunity, and it seems to me Black Lives Matters decided to use this opportunity to protest and make their voices known that people of color are not living the same existence in the LGBT Community as their counterparts…white gays.

Well, we all know the headlines of what happened at the parade and how Mathieu faked a signing of their demands to get it back moving. He bragged about it in the news that next day. One of the demands that BLM asked for was that "no uniformed police officers be on a float in the parade" since many of the people of color had been harassed and profiled by the police in their neighborhoods and on the streets of Toronto. So, if you have never been treated this way by the police this demand seemed outrageous…unheard of. But to put this in perspective….this is like the difference between living in a building with a doorman as opposed to living in a building with security guards patrolling it. These are two completely different experiences when you think of home.

Okay…so BLM took to social media to complain and express their distaste with Mr. Chantelois' backhanded move at the parade. That's when things really started heating up. the two weeks after the parade I tried to organize a closed door meeting with the an elected official, Pride Committee, Black Lives Matters and other disgruntled local performers/DJs to discuss and hammer out a solution for this year's event. 'Cuz, it wasn't just about racial discourse…it was also about ageism and other marginalized issues in last year's festivities. Well, apparently some were too busy or going on vacation to meet. There were a couple of people who were willing to come sit at the table but mainly because tempers were so hot most ignored my calls and emails.

But to really get to the meat of the problem we have to rewind Toronto's Pride history back to 2013. I guess this would be the year that I became the pariah to Pride. That was the year that I was checking my facebook account before going to bed around 6 AM on the Monday of Pride week and saw a posting of a drag queen in blackface. All I wrote was "I don't even know what to say about this" and left it at that. I didn't even go back to the post because it was an accepted fact that this performer was known on Church Street for being offensive and pushing buttons. Plus I had already seen another performer doing numbers at Woody’s dressed as a Middle Eastern woman with a bomb belt….and this was considered to normal entertainment for the gay village. I did read a post complaining about that performance but the powers that control the hiring, firing and booking did nothing. The complaint was from a person of color and it was only one. So, it was paid no mind.

So, I got a phone call from a fellow DJ who told me to go back to the blackface post because my husband and I were being crucified in the comments. Unaware that my husband had gone an expressed his dislike for the photo while I was sleeping, I was kinda shocked to read some of the comments. Especially the ones telling me and him to go back to the US and stop trying to spread democracy across Canada with our African-American problems. Don't believe me…I have the facebook thread saved as proof and you won't believe some of the people who said these things. Even people of color were coming to this performer's defense. The funny thing is…my husband is Canadian and white.

Well, since I tend to write better than I speak I decided to write a blog pointing out that Canada isn't as innocent as it thinks it is when it comes to racism. The myth that it doesn't exist here was shattered by all the news clippings I pointed out from 2010 to the present time of the blackface incident. That went over like a lead-ballon. Folks don't like to be reminded of the misgivings and definitely not how they are not as inclusive as they would like others to believe. The facebook posts and my blog made it to the Toronto Star.The performer who did blackface got fired from hosting the main stage for Pride that year. It was all blamed on me. I was the bad guy and the establishment I worked for even sat me down to give a light threat that my job was on the line for speaking out. They didn't do it out fear that I would go to press again, but this made many who had embraced me step back. A few people of color had my back but that number could be counted on both hands….not the POC Community at large.

And then came another racial incident where I was the DJ for Toronto's only Drag King night. It was going good…until I discovered that all the performers were white and a few did Hip Hop material with the n-word in it. Being the only person of color in the room some nights, it was really hard to watch white lesbians lip-syncing the word "nigga" to a room full of mostly white lesbians. So, I posted one night while I was working that I had decided to quit because of what I was witnessing and being subjected to. The troupe's only transgendered man ripped me a new one on facebook in a very long rant. Claiming that I was trying to control their show and content. Another ironic thing I just read the other day….a Xtra article asking why there aren't any spaces for Drag Kings in the gay village.

I bring all these things up to pose a question. I wonder what would have happened had we as a community addressed these issues back then. What if more people of color had stood up and said "Hey! Blackface has no place in our community!" What if the lesbians of color stood up and said "Hey…this isn't cool to be using that kind of language in your shows." Do you think that we as the LGBT Community could have really made everyone feel included in the conversation and a part of the solutions? I mean…if we can't acknowledge there is or was a problem how can we move forward?

Yesterday I posted a link about Philadelphia’s amended rainbow flag that has black and brown stripes added. Like with most things that are happening on social media today, there was much push back against this idea. The community that is supposed to be so inclusive has really shown their true colors about unity. Arguments that this is some power move by people of color to undermine our community shows exactly why and how we got here today. From flat out calling the idea "bullshit" to just wanting to lash out because the flag and pride celebration that catered to this demographic was being disrupted by people who should leave things the way they are. We've come so far and they are trying to tear it all down with division.

Yeah…this what some in the community actually believe.

But let's look at the other side of the story. The majority of the people of color in Toronto who joined Black Lives Matters are black and of Caribbean decent. For most, their living standard is definitely not like a Mathieu Chantelois. They don't have the luxury to run over to Montreal for the weekend whenever they feel like it. They don't have a cottage or tickets to a circuit party. I want you to take a moment and think about that for a second... If you can do these things on a semi-regular basis, you have no idea what it is like to be a gay person of color barely paying your bills on time. And just because you have a friend or two who can do these things that does not mean that everyone is in that same position. I have plenty of friends who are in better standings in life than I am and they have no clue that I'm just a poor man struggling to keep on top of things.

The bottom line is this all comes down to money. The Black Community does not have any financial power in the mainstream LGBT Community in Toronto. Hell…there isn't even a black gay bar in this town. For many they are regulated to separate parties thrown by DJ Blackcat (and thank God for him continuing year after year to find spaces to throw these events). I bet many of the white gays don't even know who he is. But you should. He and a few others are the backbone of black events in Toronto. These are the people you should be going to when planning the big Pride events. They are the real voices of the Black Community. I'll tell you someone else who should be at that table….Kerolos Saleib. He runs a party called Arabian Knights that welcomes everyone but is themed for the Middle Eastern LGBT community. Someone from El Convento Rico should be on the committee for Pride planning. It's just basic common sense. Local people who are already working in the community and a part of it.

Granted…there are some issues with the Black Lives Matters protest. Since they mainly have no financial power it is hard to sit at that table. "What money are you bringing to Pride?" The white gays spend money and that's just a fact. I can remember when I first got here to Toronto I started a Vogue night at a bar that no longer exists. The Ballroom kids came out for it. It was a cute little crowd. But they had no money to spend on drinks. I told one of the main voguers that he and his friends needed to start buying some drinks or that night was not going to last. He looked at me like I shot his mother. But the truth is…your dollars are like your vote in situations. The push back that Black Lives Matters received wasn't all based on racism. Some of it was financial. And although some funding comes from the City, it would be great to see everyone working together to raise some funds and build the community as a whole. This would be a solution to getting everyone involved and participating.

And although it is good to see Olivia Nuamah at the helm this year, there's been push back against her as a British woman of color. I love that she is definitely making strides to reach out to not only the marginalized but as well as those in position of authority. Her experience as a community builder and work in the non-profit / government sector is very impressive, but I still think that the board needs to be compiled of local promoters. Imagine if Fly, Crews & Tangos, El Convento, Club 120, Blyss, Woodys, Striker Sports Bar, Flash and Statlers all were at the same table making plans together to accommodate all the diversity that Toronto has to offer. Promoters like MOJO, Blackcat and Kerolos coming together to make the ultimate plan that includes everyone and features the best of our local talented performers and DJs. Would we be at this place right now? Arguing over stripes on a flag…attacking each other for any posts that we don't personally agree with or understand?

For those who are so adamantly against the change for the flag, someone posted on my facebook page "Why don't they just make their own flag?" Well…we are. We are taking the rainbow and adding black and brown stripes for the people who want to show their solidarity for the people of color who feel that they are not being represented. You don't have to carry that flag. This amendment doesn't devalue or diminish the rainbow flag that has been the symbol of our community for many decades. In fact, the original design had eight stripes and was proposed to get away from the pink triangle that was associated with the Nazi branding of homosexuals in the camps. I personally don't think the new design will catch on. Although I do think it would be brilliant because the Black and brown could also cover the Leather and Bear Communities as well. Why not? Let's get everyone on the flag. Just know that my interpretation doesn't effect yours. Just like your opinion doesn't effect mine…unless we compromise.

The LGBT Community is constantly evolving. Just look at all the new terms that have been added to make everyone feel represented. So, to allow others to wave their own flag is part of evolving. We have to grow if we are going to accommodate the future. And the words we use for ourselves are just as important. The ones we use and the ones we omit all play a part in how we communicate with each other.I mean, the omission of a few words like "in uniform on a float" turned this town into a war zone of words. No one said "no police at the parade" in the demands of Black Lives Matters. Click-bait media did that. And it gave an excuse for those who have been harboring feelings of exclusion to express them openly. Now it has turned into "no police in the parade" because that's what was put out there to stir up controversy. "Shut up and sit down" is basically what many feel like they are being told. Well, I think the folks who fought at Stonewall were tired of just going along with the program. Had those queens and lesbians not fought with the police would we be here trying to celebrate pride at all?

United we stand….divided we fall. We've come too far to stumble now.

I didn't write this to divide us. I wrote it to hopefully inspire all of us to start really working on a solution on how to move forward from this point on. When I look at Toronto I see such potential. On paper it looks like Toronto has everything covered and everyone accounted for, but the reality is that some of our brothers and sisters are being left behind and most are not paying attention or even care. That is the heart of the matter….realizing that what effects me actually effects you. And this is why I do as much as I can to give back in my own way. You can't just take, take, take…..you gotta give back and contribute.

So, on this day when 49 people lost their lives in a senseless shooting in Orlando, Florida I am hoping to awaken some people to the idea that we need to be united. That shooting could have happened anywhere in the world. We need to get back to being a community that cares and uplifts each other. Just a thought...

21 notes · View notes

scfop3 · 7 years ago

Photo

New Post has been published on https://scfop3.org/executive-board-elections-2017/

Executive Board Elections 2017

In December of every odd year, the membership elects an Executive Board for a two-year term. The Board is tasked with the business operations and strategic planning for the lodge. As leaders of the Lodge, these men and woman volunteer countless hours to the Order.

Nominations were held during the November meeting which allows candidates an opportunity to speak with the membership prior to elections.

Some positions only received a single nomination; therefore, those candidates will be elected by acclamation. The other positions which received more than one nomination will be decided by an election. Any active member who is present at the December meeting is eligible to vote. Absentee ballots and proxy votes are not allowed. Voting will commence at 8:00 pm time certain and the polls will close at 8:30 pm. Any member in line at 8:30 pm will be allowed to vote; however, no member will be allowed to enter the voting line after 8:30 pm.

Seated without opposition were President John Blackmon (i), Vice President Eddie Draper (i), Membership Secretary Pam Nelson, Treasurer Scott Rywelski (i), and Second Vice President Mike Kornahrens.

Contested positions are Recording Secretary and Sergeant at Arms. Aaron Reed (i) and Reggie Sharpe are vying for the position of Recording Secretary. Gary Zimmer and Travis Dodd are on the ballot for the Sergeant at Arms position.

Incumbent Second Vice President Beth Auer and Sergeant at Arms Ed Semlitsch did not seek re-election.

President John Blackmon

I have been honored to serve this great organization since 2003, first as Vice President and then for the last six years as President. I am again honored to be reelected as President for a fourth term. Filling the shoes of the great men who led this organization before me has been no easy task. However, I have delved my heart and soul into our lodge – the largest FOP lodge in the State.

Our lodge has continued to grow each year. We have expanded benefit offerings to members. We have sought out other revenue streams. We have continued to be the shining beacon for law enforcement professionals in the Lowcountry. We will continue to shine. We will continue to improve. We will continue to serve the law officers of the Lowcountry.

Thank you for your continued support.

Vice President Ed Draper

My name is Eddie Draper and I am seeking election to the position of Vice President for Tri-County FOP Lodge #3. I am currently a sworn law enforcement officer with the North Charleston Police Department and a member of the Neighborhood Resource Officer Unit with sixteen years of law enforcement experience. During the last two years I have served our membership as a board member, first as lodge Chaplain, then 2nd Vice President and finally as Vice President. Each position has been a challenge in its own way and for each I have sought to do my very best for our membership, the Fraternal Order of Police and our honorable profession. Our lodge has prospered and grown tremendously throughout the years and I believe our best days are before us. From honoring our fallen officers through our memorial each May to recognizing the achievements of local officers and supporting officers and members in need through the distressed officers fund, Tri-County FOP Lodge #3 has been a tremendous support system for our profession. As lodge Vice President I will strive to see our lodge continue to prosper and grow and that our membership and the men and women of law enforcement continue to receive the support they deserve as members of this noble profession. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to serving our membership to the best of my ability as our lodge Vice President.

Membership Secretary Pam Nelson

I have been a member of the lodge since early 2006 when I was hired by Hanahan police department. I have stayed with the department for all these years and my membership with the lodge has remained active since then as well.

I look forward to working for the members with this newly created position. I hope to keep membership organized and easy to track.

Recording Secretary Candidate Aaron Reed

Well, this isn’t the email I had originally typed up, but after proofing it, I came to a realization… It reminded me of when I was in grad school and my group counseling professor talked about Margin. I know it is often a cliché, but I really have a hard time saying no. I constantly want to help and take on. I rarely leave any “Margin” in my life. That has been me since probably high school, maybe longer. This is what came to mind when I was proofing my 1st email when I was reading about wanting to give 100% to the position. That hit me like a brick! I really want to and have wanted to over this past year since I have stepped into the secretary position. I have seen how much work it actually is and looking at what I have accomplished; I believe I have given at least as much as those in the past. BUT, I believe it deserves more and at this time in my life I am unable to give that. Therefore, I am withdrawing my name for consideration for the Tri-County FOP #3 Recording Secretary. I believe the FOP is too important of an organization to not give, or at least feel that I am not giving what the position deserves. I have greatly enjoyed being a part of the Board this year and serving all the members. This position is trying, but very rewarding. I believe I have been a part of, by far, the best Board in the state! This lodge is awesome and I am very proud to be a member of it. I will be all means, help with the transition to Reggie Sharp and anyone else that needs assistance. I do not want to just walk away and leave anyone in a bind. With all of this being said, I do by no means want to step away from the lodge totally. I definitely plan to still be an active member and volunteer when and where needed. I have for many years helped with lawn care, taken care of lowering the flag (when needed), obtaining donations, and other functions. I plan to continue this. In fact, I would like to continue to play at least a small role in the lodge by being the CCAAPD Liaison. In reality, I have been filling this role for many years, official or not. I am willing to do this and also Charleston PPP since I still stay in contact with several of the agents over there. Furthermore, as in years past, I would like to be considered to represent the lodge at the state and national conferences in the future. I plan to retire in less than 10 years, and my children will all be out of school in about that time as well. These two life changes should free up an immense amount of time. At that time, or sooner is something changes, I would be honored to again take a position on the Board and serve the members and fellow officers of the Lowcountry! God Bless!

Recording Secretary Candidate Reggie Sharpe

I am seeking the office of Secretary for the South Carolina Fraternal Order of Police Tri-County Lodge #3. I have been behind a badge since 1993, serving as a Reserve Deputy, Detention Officer, Deputy Sheriff and the last five years as Police Officer. The bulk of my law enforcement work has been spent hunting down “wanted” people. I have received national as well as local acclaim for my efforts and hold the United States record for warrant service.Police work is my vocation and my love. I gave six years of my life to this lodge as its Secretary for three terms in the early 2000s – when membership was less than 100 members at start. When I left the office – membership was above 800. A period of member confidence which I take great pride in having played a significant part.My contributions to this organization remain visible to this day. I acquired, framed and hung most of the artwork that adorns the lodge throughout. The “patch border” was my idea, design and build (with affirmative member vote of course.) In collaboration with John Blackmon and Danny Isgett, I helped create what would become known as the “Distressed Officer Fund.” A project that supersedes all other accomplishments and one that I pray will outlive us all.By admission, I have been deemed an “odd sort” in polite words. I enjoy writing, history, poetry and at times have been met with consternation by colleagues and superiors. Having said that, my blood truly runs blue and I would be honored to have the chance once again to give back to the profession that has given so much to me. I respectfully ask for your vote. Should I fail in my bid, I pledge to fully support the other candidate as I know his heart too, is in the right place.

Treasurer Scott Rywelski

I would like to thank you all for the past six years for allowing me to serve this great order. Now with your blessings and votes, I am embarking on my 4th term as an eboard officer for this great lodge. My promise to the board and the members is to continue to serve this great order and to uphold the bylaws, the commitment to the Lawmen of the Lowcountry and to ensure that the order’s interests are best served and protected. I look forward to more great, hard work being put forth by myself and the board for the lodge and our great law enforcement community.

Second Vice President Elect Mike Kornahrens

I have been in LE since 2006 and with North Charleston for 10 years. I have been the our Lodge’s liasion for N Charleston PD since the program started. I will continue the hard work as the Lodge’s 2nd Vice President that I put into the liason position.

Outgoing Second Vice President Beth Auer

No Report

Outgoing Sergeant At Arms Ed Semlitsch

About a year and half ago, the Executive Board was going through some transitions and John Blackmon asked me to come back to the Eboard. I was honored to be asked and accepted the responsibility.

During this term on the EBoard I assisted in accomplishing many projects. The maintenance of the lodge is ongoing and never-ending work. With the assistance of the membership, the lawn was kept mowed and there were several improvements. Exterior lighting, exterior signs, and push bars on the doors were added to improve the lodge. I greatly appreciated the assistance from the members who volunteered their time with these projects.

During 2017, I coordinated two funding events for the lodge, The 3rd Annual Deputy Joe Matuskovic Memorial Hockey Game and the 911 Memorial Hockey Game. These events were a lot of work however, I accepted the challenge. As a result of these events over $11,000 was raised for the lodge and our partner charities.

In total, I have served on the EBoard for approximately five and half years. I enjoyed my time on the EBoard however, like all of us; I have many responsibilities with family and work. We are a lodge of almost 1000 members and I believe every member should have an opportunity to serve on the EBoard. Therefore, I decided not to run for reelection. I believe there are two outstanding candidates running for my position. Either person would make a great addition to the Eboard.

Even though I will no longer be on the EBoard, I still plan to be active with the lodge. I plan to continue the hockey games and assist with maintenance and repairs of the building.

It was a pleasure serving the membership on the EBoard and I look forward to seeing everyone at future lodge meetings and events.

Sergeant At Arms Candidate Travis Dodd

First I would like to thank the membership for the opportunity to continue to serve this wonderful organization.

I have been a member of Lodge #3 since the beginning of my career in 2006. It was shortly after that I began serving on various committees to include merchandise, Law Enforcement Appreciation Night and Cops and Calabash (formerly Cops and Lobsters).

I served as Lodge secretary for 3 terms before being elected by the E-board to fill the open Vice President position. During my time on the board, I helped in the responsibility of protecting and maintaining our one true asset, the lodge building itself. I assisted in upgrades and routine maintenance that not only made our building safer but also made it more functional to better serve you the members.

I look forward to continuing serving this wonderful organization as your Sgt. at Arms and look forward to your support December 11th.

Sergeant At Arms Candidate Gary Zimmer

I have been a Law Enforcement officer for the past 23 years, starting as a reserve officer with Goose Creek Police and then serving with the North Charleston Police for the past 20 years. During my career, I have served on a number of boards for Law Enforcement Organizations. I served as the training secretary for the South Carolina Juvenile Officers Association, A founding board member of the South Carolina Gang Investigators Association and the committee member of the East Coast Gang Investigators Association. I have dedicated myself to the profession and the professionals’ in our chosen careers.I am the current coordinator for the Christmas Morning Toys For Tots deliveries in the tri-county area. Through the coalition of officers and agencies that I have been able to coordinate we have increased the effectiveness of this community service group over the past 10 years. We have increased our volunteers from a beginning group of 10 officers and TV personalities making deliveries to 20 families; becoming a dedicated group of 300 volunteers and 50 Public Safety professionals who are able to deliver toys to 300 families and 1000 children on Christmas Morning, covering the tri-county area now.This is the type of dedication and professionalism that I will bring to FOP Lodge 3. As your Sergent at Arms, I will be dedicated to improving our facility and providing the security and support to the entire lodge. I was pleased to fill in as Sergent at Arms when our current Sergent at Arms was unavailable due to job-related requirements, during this past year. Being present and assisting in our functions is what allows the fraternal nature of our organization to thrive. By maintaining and hopefully improving this fraternity of Police Professionals our Lodge will continue to grow and remain the Leader in South Carolina.I look forward to your support and thank you for your vote of confidence.

#Conversation #From the President #Local Police News

0 notes

ulyssessklein · 7 years ago

Text

The perils of starting a band

It’s the old story. You’ve been mastering the guitar in your bedroom for a solid few months now. The chord changes are getting quicker, the fret buzzes are becoming more infrequent, and you’ve even got the hang of a solo or two. You’re ready for the next step.

You talk to your friends about this. It turns out a couple of them are also ready to take things to the next level; one of them even has a friend, usually a Dave, who has their own drum kit set up in their parent’s garage. And then, like a lightning bolt hurled down from Zeus, your whole world is illuminated with a single, all-encompassing thought.

Let’s start a band.

The idea of being in a band has captured the imagination of disenfranchised teens for over half a century. Life on the open road, sticking it to the man every night, playing by your own rules – what could be a more perfect reaction to the grey drudgery of adult life? This is your ticket outta here, your raison d’etre, your destiny.

But wait.

Could anything ever really be that simple?

Here are a few common pitfalls you’re bound to encounter when starting up your band. Hopefully you’ll find some solutions – or, at the very least, some solace in the fact that these are tribulations and trials every fledgling band must endure.

Say My Name!

Your band name is your flag to fly, your badge of honour to wear on your puffed-out-with-pride chest. Settling on a name you’re all on board with early on is a great way of strengthening the unity between you – it also makes the whole project seem a bit more real. But this is easier said than done – not only has your moniker got to sound good chanted by legions of fans, it also has to tell them what you’re all about. A few things to bear in mind:

Check your band name isn’t already in use.

A quick internet search should confirm this for your, and, if carried out swiftly, should help you avert the awful sinking feeling Blink must’ve experienced when an Irish band of the same name made them add the 182. It’s one thing to cause confusion as to which band people are trying to book or go to see; it’s a whole ‘nother when you find yourself in a trademark-infringement lawsuit.

Stay away from inside jokes.

Don’t choose a name you think is funny at the time but other people don’t get — you don’t want to wince each time you have to explain your in-joke to death. Similarly, using a reference that’s either too oblique or too overused will soon lose its appeal. And avoid names that are too long for legions of fans to call out and scrawl onto banners (though you could always abbreviate if it still sounds catchy – see CCR).

In the Garage

It’s entirely possible that Dave’s parents’ garage is soundproofed, but unfortunately such treatment isn’t standard issue. You really don’t want the neighbours to kill your buzz by asking you if you wouldn’t mind turning those amps down ‘just a little’ – you really want to be able to practice at the volume you intend to perform at.

If you’re very lucky, one of you will know someone who can grant you access to a soundproofed or isolated space either free of charge or at a reduced rate. If you’re less lucky, pool your resources and see how often you can afford to use the nearest community centre, scout hut, or, better still, rehearsal studio. Shop around online and you’ll most likely find various places being advertised where you can let loose.

Communication Breakdown

Communicate about your sound…

If you want to write a fantastic new chapter in music’s hefty tome, you’re all going to have to start on the same page. Regular and effective communication is the key here – make sure you’re all at the same place at the same time expecting to do the same thing. It’s going to be tricky to fuse you punk-rock down picking with slap bass, jazzy drums and rap – and if you don’t mention this early on, you could find yourself becoming resentful. Talk about what your influences are, couple them with your own abilities and limitations, and you’ll figure our what you can make sound decent.

… about your arrangements…

You’ll need to communicate carefully when you’re learning songs – even more so when writing. Bands like to put their own spin on covers, and you really need to talk about what you all expect from this spin, rather than just playing it over and over again at practice in a way you’re not all happy with. Be mindful of each other’s parts, as well as your own. And do pipe up if you think the guitar solo needs to be longer, or if there definitely was supposed to be another chorus in there somewhere.

… about your commitment and conflicts…

If you want to get good, you’re going to need to practice together as often as possible. Sure, you might all have jobs and family commitments, but so does everybody. Just let each other know in good time. If Dave’s parents want to spring clean the garage, make sure you give yourselves time to find another place to play. Also, even though you might think you already know your part inside out, it’s not just about what you know – it’s about how you gel as a unit. Hang out, make each other feel at ease, and the songs will become second nature. That really comes across onstage – it’ll be like you’re reading each other’s minds.

… and iron out your disagreements OFF STAGE!

Woe betide the band who airs their dirty laundry in public. Don’t allow disagreements to fester, only to erupt in an embarrassing spotlit argument. It’ll look like it’s come out of nowhere if it happens during a gig, which will either incite jeers or fears. Nip the negativity in the bud behind closed doors – most people come to gigs to have a good time.

Let’s Stick Together.

Organizing yourselves effectively is vital when it comes to booking and promoting your own gigs. Once you’ve got your set together and are ready to take it out on the road, you’ve got to be pretty on the ball. Along with practicing, make sure the other preparations are delegated evenly among you. Contacting the venue, creating a social media stir and giving out flyers are not all one person’s job.

You also need to be super organized on the day of the show. Make sure you all have transport for yourselves and your equipment, and plan your route if you’re heading out of town. There’s no point showing up an hour early only to waste it circling the venue looking for the entrance. Strike up a friendly conversation with whoever you’re in contact with at the venue, and they’ll tell you what to look out for.

Accountability is everything – you’ve all got to be responsible for your own gear, and you’ve also got to be as supportive and understanding of your other members as you can manage. If you forget your second lead, there may be a benevolent sound technician or a friendly member of another band who’ll lend you one; otherwise, take the hit and go without one of your effects pedals. If you forget your pedal, that’s on you. After all, Dave wouldn’t expect you to bring his sticks for him. Try not to point the finger of blame, but also don’t let it get to the stage where management of the band’s equipment falls on one member’s shoulders. Many bands use checklists – a simple solution for a worryingly prevalent problem that still only works some of the time.

Their Egos Again.

There’s no room for egos in a democracy.

While you deserve to be confident in your own abilities, it’s also your duty as bandmates to celebrate each others’ talents. It’s a sorry state of affairs if a calm, logical discussion can’t resolve any inter-band conflict (i.e. the song selection, the band name, the radical outfits). Every brain is capable of new ideas, and each one deserves respect. The loudest voice is often wrong. And in love with itself.

Talk everything out, be fair and give reasons for your opinions.

And remember – it’s never a bad time for a compliment. Remind yourselves you all came from the same humble beginnings, and success is more due to luck than talent. You should never feel you can’t voice something that’s bothering you just because you expect to be shut down. And, looking down the other end of the telescope, if you sense an issue, feel free to ask what’s up. Just try not to make your tone too accusatory.

Hey Money Money

It’s a crime. But, as it’s one everybody commits, it’s to be considered a necessary evil. Artists aren’t in it for the money, but we all need a dollar. In the early days, it can seem like a tall order to generate so much as a penny from your band: you need a demo to get shows, you need shows to earn money, you need money to record your demo, and so on and so forth. So you need an opportunity to break this absurd circle. The simplest solution is to earn money via other means, which will most likely mean keeping up your day job, which by proxy eats into your music making time. But it’s not impossible – far from it, in fact. Many bands were still working 9-5 even as they were becoming known; there’s no shame in it whatsoever. If anything, it’s testament to your devotion and determination.

Another financial consideration is the acquisition of money from promoters, and the division of your spoils between band members. Don’t expect to make millions right away – it’s probable that you’ll only make petrol money before you start drawing larger audiences. But in lowering your expectations in this regard, every little handout you receive will seem all the sweeter. The only reason you’re receiving any of this money at all is that you’ve actually put a band together, learned a bunch of songs and performed them to the best of your ability, so give yourselves a pat on the back. And do not shy away from asking the promoter or venue owner directly for your money – they knew this was coming. Some of these people can be upfront and approachable, others like to sidle off and hope you forget. Knock down the office door if you have to, because you’re no pushovers.

Don’t fall into the ‘all gear and no idea’ stereotype either. By all means treat yourself to better sounding and better made equipment as you progress, but at this stage you’re not going to win as much respect if you show up with an all-guns-blazing ’59 American Strat that you can barely play than if you wreak auditory havoc with your £200 Squier surging through a Roland cube. Don’t squander your fortune on lavish gifts – purchase only what’s needed for the continuation of your band. This doesn’t include strippers and champagne.

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll

This hackneyed threesome is the downfall of many a serious artist. Many view the two former proclivities as a reward or even a right earned by their proficiency in the latter; others abuse them by way of a coping mechanism, numbing themselves to the stresses of a highly demanding schedule. Dipping your toes into these murkiest of waters rarely end up improving your chances of success. Ego boosts are fine, but excessive quantities tend to result in egomania. And mania of any kind is generally bad.

The ‘no boyfriends/girlfriends’ rule may seem a trifle unnecessary, but outside involvement does often spell trouble for a band. Just look at Spinal Tap or Courtney Love. What this rule is really trying to achieve is the preservation of a set of values that the band’s survival depends on. Prior commitments must be honoured, and if this leads to conflict or even ultimatums, you’re going to have to talk it out. There’s no reason why, with careful communication and compromise, you can’t all achieve you goals. The most logical and sustainable approach is to reach a balance and keep it up.

Motivation, Such an Aggravation.

Perhaps the most difficult problem of all is keeping yourself (and each other) going. When you find yourself penniless at the end of a string of dates and have no petrol money, when you’ve been practicing a new song you’ve been trying to learn for what seems like forever and it just won’t come out right and you can tell you’re all starting to hate it, when you’ve seen that one negative comment that just bugs you all day, you’re really going to need each other. Sure, support can come in the form of fans, of friends and of family, but the truth only comes from within the band itself. Because it’s a truth you’ve written together.

What you’ve got to realize is that life in a band is all about taking the rough with the smooth. You can’t expect to headline Wembley Stadium after only a few months – even a few years. You must absolutely be prepared to play to countless empty rooms for a pittance, and you must absolutely not allow this to faze you. Keep reminding each other why you started out; if your reasons are sincere, then you’ll be able to look beyond the immediate strife, and take from these less gratifying experiences the knowledge that you’ve found something you’re prepared to go through anything for. This is your art, and this is how you will suffer for it.

With any luck, you’ll flirt with disaster in each of these areas and learn firsthand how to come out on top. Sometimes being in a band can be like wading through treacle infested with lying sharks; sometimes, it’s more like learning to fly, and having the whole world cheer as they watch you soar overhead. Some people can take the criticism better than others; some people are quite happy to take a band to a certain level then throw in the towel and call it a day; some people literally care about nothing else. Maybe it’s not important to decide what sort of person you are yet. Maybe heed a few of these warnings, maybe dive in at the deep end. But most people would agree these are all risks worth taking – those moment when everything falls into place are worth any number of petty arguments and personal struggles.

The post The perils of starting a band appeared first on DIY Musician Blog.

0 notes