#food poisoning so bad it sabotages your relationship forever

[carcharsaur]

another thing about raul cupipara, I think this is hands-down the funniest choice prompt on earth that can lead to a fucking bad end

[bouncyirwin]

Recent Great Naruto Fics I’ve Read List

Seeing as the actual series now suck... here’s a list of the fics/one shots I’ve recently read (past year) that you might enjoy, have fun xx

Warning: List contains all kinds of pairings. Some stories have no pairings at all (those are labelled as General). 

Directions: story name - author - summary - status - pairing/gen - rating

Pulling My Weight by Invisible Shadow - During the mission to Wave, Sakura realises that she has to become a better ninja for her teammates' sake and be someone they can depend on. She vows to take her training seriously, and receives help from the most unlikely of sources; Genma Shiranui. The two form an unlikely bond and stick together through thick and thin, while Sakura improves and meets other people along the way. Ongoing | General so far | T | This story is fucking amazing

A Wrinkle in Time by rightforlife - The Fourth Shinobi War ended in disaster. They won, but at a price too great to bear. Given a second chance, what exactly can Konoha's three most powerful men do? Time travel, old enemies, and old friends that all leads to a new future. Ongoing | General | T

The Colder Water by Quillslinger - The devil is in the details. Shisui. Itachi. A sorta love story. Novella. Complete (52,784) | ShiIta | T 

Uneasy Coexistence by DeGlace - One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right. Complete (70,111) | KisaSaku | M

Blind Stars of Fortune by 100demons - Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self. (It gets a lot more complicated.) Time travel. Complete (78,591) | General | T

To Promise Forever by Hellsig Otoupeim - The war's over, Kaguya has been defeated and the five great Shinobi Nations have gone back to their homelands to nurse the wounds left behind. In an attempt to preserve peace, the five Kage have agreed to implement in a new measure; war veterans between villages are encouraged to take part in the Five Nation Letter Exchange Program. Or how a girl from Kiri ends up in Konoha. Sly AU. Complete (14,442) | ShikakuOC | M

Heart Under a Blade by fineillsignup - Sitting on a bench after being told by Sasuke-kun that she's annoying, Sakura thinks that it's the worst day of her life. Lying in the hospital wanting to hurl from heat suppressants later that day and grappling with the revelation that she's an omega, Sakura knows that it's the worst day of her life. (ABO, extremely slow build). Ongoing | KakaSaku | M

Phantom Pains by mapplepie - There is something going on with Kakashi, but Minato can't figure out what. All he has are distressing deductions, each one progressively worse than the last. It's no wonder Minato can't help but fear and fear and fear. (To be fair though, it really wasn't his fault he never considered the possibility of time-travel). Complete (22,153) | General | T

A Twist in Time by Wolf08 - With Konoha on the verge of destruction, Sakura is sent on a last-resort mission to save her world by travelling to the past. Join her in coping with her old body's shortcomings, testing the natural laws of time, falling in love all over again, exploring the depths of her mind and rediscovering who she is. Time-travel.  Ongoing | SasuSaku | T | I don’t even like SS anymore (I almost hate them) but this is my favourite fic ever.

Deadly Decisions by Alrissa - Haruno Sakura that actually caught a glimpse of the real world and woke up to smell the blood. Basically a 'what if' preview of what could have happened if Sakura didn't revert after the Chuunin exams. No princess to be rescued here. Complete (17,819) | General | M

Contagious by rabid behemoth - Konoha's citizens are being controlled by a virus, and it falls on Sakura's shoulders to save them. A double agent among the most hostile, unrepentant criminals in the world, she finds herself navigating between competing loyalties in a sea of moral uncertainty. But that's impossible for a faithful Leaf nin like Sakura. Loyalties aren't contagious...right? Complete (119,552) | ItaSaku | T

The Lives Worth Saving by cywsaphyre - Naruto, at 26, has lived through 10 years of war. At the end, with nothing left to call home, he sends himself back to the beginning, to the day of his younger self's graduation, in an attempt to change it all. Time travel AU. Discontinued | General | T | best time travel fic I’ve ever read

Kill Your Heroes by Evil Is A Relative Term - Because, sometimes, we are what our adversaries make of us. Because Gatō only needed Zabuza to neutralize Kakashi. He isn't afraid of one little pink-haired genin. But even mice will bite when cornered. A story of where fear drives the most vulnerable member of Team Seven, from Wave and beyond. Ongoing | General | T

I Found You Missing by Wolfy Tales - 'They're asking us because these soldiers have absolutely no one left to write home to,' Sakura thought with a frown. So she signs up for the Shinobi Letter Exchange, not realizing how large the consequences would be. Complete (18,586) | KakaSaku | T

Teach Your Children Well by AvocadoLove - After Madara final attack on the village, Rokudaime Kakashi uncovers a time-travel scroll. Now he's Team Seven's sensei again. And this time, he's going to do things differently. A time travel fic. Complete (37,849) | KakaIru | K+

The Arrangement by Yuugiri - "We're already getting along bad enough. Why don't we just get married?" Complete (111,453) | GaaIno | T

Sabotage by therealesther - When her fifth date got food poisoning, and her sixth date cancelled in over the phone in a tone bordering on hysteria, Sakura decided things were getting out of hand. Complete (1,637) | KakaSaku | K+

To Love and to Love Again by animequeen100 - Love blooms even in the strangest of places, and darkest of hours. Sasuke has a daughter who needs a mother. Sakura has a son, who needs a father. When the shadows that follow her threaten to take her away from him, his dark secrets resurface to keep her in his arms. They were fated to love and destined to love again. Complete (401,061) | SasuSaku | M

The Good Wife by ReiraKurenai - Sixteen-year-old Ino is stuck in the body of her older self. Now she must embark on the journey of an adult, a wife and a mother while deep down she's still just a child herself. What does the future have in store for her? NarutoxIno and various pairings. Ongoing | NaruIno | T

Ripples by Yellow Mask - AU from 309 onwards. Following a botched mission, Sakura is made a slave by Sound, a position that could very well alter the future…especially concerning a certain familiar missing-nin. Complete (143,883) | SasuSaku | T

Set in Ink by TappityTap - "From then on, it became their own private ritual: She'd arrive at his place, they'd talk, she'd undress, he'd draw her, she'd look at his work and compliment it, he'd touch her until she quivered and cried out his name in a sweet burst of release. This ritual was always the same but somehow different and exciting every time. " Pure SaiIno smut. Some canon pairings mentioned. Complete (7,422) | SaiIno | M

The Cursed Geisha by wingedmercury - He's beautiful, in the same way that predatory animals are beautiful—dark, mysterious. Dangerous. Only this time, instead of being the predator, Sasuke will learn what it means to be prey. AU. Complete (43,612) | SasuHina | M

Will of Fire by Cynchick - Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past. Complete (223,234) | KakaSaku | M

The Secret Life of Teachers by tabine - Romance is a bit difficult to do when you spend a majority of your time within fifty feet of the object of your affections and somehow still don't quite understand that you're falling in love with them, if only because being a full-time high school teacher while taking graduate school courses takes precedence over everything else. A Nejiten high school teachers AU. Ongoing | NejiTen | T

The Line by livezinshadowz - When a young Ino tries to use the Shintenshin for the first time on Naruto, something goes wrong and the two find themselves temporarily stuck in the other's body. A series of moments depicting the evolution of their relationship, from acquaintances to friends to something more, all by crossing that metaphorical line created when a boy and a girl forge a bond. Complete (46,692) | NaruIno | T

In Another Life by CelestialCircumference - Kakashi never believed in soul mates until that fateful day. Written for HatakeFran for the KakaSaku Secret Santa 2016 on tumblr. Complete (18,350) | KakaSaku | T

House of Crows by SilverShine -  War is coming to Konoha and Sakura is far from home, uncertain of her future. But one thing is for sure, Sakura will protect her unborn child at all costs, whether it be from Konoha's enemies... or from its own father. Complete (400,508) | KakaSaku | M

Better Off Dead by wingedmercury - When Hinata leaves Konoha, heartbroken but resolute, the last person she expects to see over the rim of her tea cup is him. "You look like you've just seen a ghost," he smirks, and Hinata thinks that some people are just better off dead. Complete (68,768) | SasuHina | T

The Song Of Kakashi by ZatannaZatara06 - If you want forever, you are going to have to suffer for it. For the KakaSaku Week 2016 Day 2 Theme: Fairy tales / Legends Myth: The story of Achilles and Patroclus. Complete (2,472) | KakaSaku | T

Kunoichi's Burden: Village First by lilac haze - She was dying. She should have died. She was supposed to die but the Gods had other plans. Sakura is thrown back in the past, where a dangerously attractive blonde and a loud mouthed redhead have taken it upon themselves to make her life even more difficult. If Naruto's parents didn't get together, kami, she would be in a lot of trouble. MinatoXSakura. Time travel-fic. Complete (378,854) | MinaSaku | T

On a Leash by thekatthatbarks - Kakashi's new puppy ends up being his best wingman. Complete (1,082) | KakaSaku | T

House Calls by Spoiled Sweet - Always the Team Mom, Sakura opens up her home as a clinic for the hospital-phobic ninja of Konoha. At the same time, her relationship with Kakashi begins to evolve in a way she never expected. Complete (262,803) | KakaSaku | M

Things You Just Don’t Talk About by Enodia - "Do you enjoy sex?" Shikamaru asked bluntly. I just can't believe I'm talking about this, and with Shikamaru, of all people, Sakura thought." Sakura is in for a surprise. Or, rather, a series of surprises. Complete (118,175) | ShikaSaku | M

Players by Kukaburraxxii - Ino joins the league of players. Discontinued | GenIno | M

Heatwave by Yahboobeh - When she found her breath again it was ragged. Only one thought tore through her mind: Consume me. The Suna sun wasn't the only reason their faces burned. Ongoing | NejiTen | M

The Art of War by leafygirl - Entry for the LJ Kakasaku AU contest. Sakura gets stuck following her teacher after a bet with her friends. But his mysterious life is nothing she ever expected. Complete (20,591) | KakaSaku | T

The Shinobi Princess by Winged Lady Colette - At the end of the Fourth Great Ninja War, Sakura takes an unexpected trip into the time of Konoha's Founding. Ongoing | HashiSaku | M

Dawning by deleria - After years of silence the Akatsuki are active again. Her allies uncertain, the Godaime sends two teams - one for a potential offensive strike and another for covert surveillance. Who would have guessed that Shikamaru and Sakura could fake it as newlyweds so well? ShikaSaku with early (one-sided) hints of SasuSaku. Complete (101,994) | ShikaSaku | M

Genius Sensei by AlexDnD - What if Kakashi had recovered from his deep depression? What if he turned out to be a true genius as a sensei? Watch as team 7 develops into a truly capable shinobi team! Complete | NaruSaku-ish | T | A fun read

We Are Never (ever getting back together) by natanije - In which Sakura waited, got tired of waiting, and decided to never wait ever again. (Or, in which Sakura never chased after Sasuke when she got pregnant). Complete (2,592) | General | T

A Poor Imitation by leafygirl - Sakura is injured on a mission, forgetting everything she knew of life in Konoha. Complete (88,913) | KakaSaku | M

The Girl From Whirlpool by SilverShine - When Naruto's father met his mother, his only impression was that a village out there must have been missing its idiot. Complete (248,299) | MinaKushi | T

The Way of the Wind by just enough - ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way. Non-massacre. Complete (158,542) | ItaSaku | M

Cause for Conversation by firefly - Hinata has always been intimidated by Sasuke, but when she serves as a substitute for Sakura on a mission, she comes to learn that the stoic Uchiha is not so bad after all. Complete (4,858) | SasuHina | K+

The Price by Nenagh24 - This would have almost been hilarious, the renowned copy ANBU almost petrified of a small unarmed girl, had it not been happening to him. The price of this tiny bride was going to break him. Hello, fiery flames of eternal doom. Complete (19,067) | KakaSaku | T

Better Having Met You by KakashiSauce - Tenzou is wide-eyed, bright faced and unprepared for the ANBU life ahead of him. MOSTLY because of the unorthodox team he's placed into. However, it was done in his best interest, and Hiruzen is smart enough to know what is best for most young shinobi. Kakashi disagrees, but he is one of those young shinobi who doesn't know whats best for him. Ongoing | KakaYama | M

Icha Icha Gambit by TheSilverScarecrow - It was a risk; one that could potentially ruin their team, however, who was Hatake Kakashi to argue with the Hokage? But when a never to be finished Icha Icha draft falls into his possesion things start getting wildly out of hand as Sakura does whatever it takes to protect their village from a devastating weapon. Ongoing | KakaSaku | M

Nutrire by Wolfy Tales - As Ino traverses the world with Yamato after the war to neutralize potential threats, she finds out that they share more in common than just an interest in plants. Complete (32,251) | YamaIno | T

Let's Get Married by luvtoshi - It was supposed to be a simple solution to their immediate problems. But maybe they took more than they can chew? Complete (59,760) | NaruSaku | M

Hot Medicine by Saphri - Kakasaku one-shot. AU. Fighting fires was a tough job by all accounts. But when the job requires getting treated by beautiful pink haired paramedics it was worth the hardship. Complete (26,05) | KakaSaku | M

A Noble in Secret by WhiteMint - Side story to the Imperial Princess. C originally hated the people of Konoha, often referring to them as "Konoha dogs". But as he got to know the small pink haired girl who followed him around like a puppy, he no longer considered the term as maliciously as before. After all, he found his own little Konoha dog, and he planned on keeping her. Ancient Chinese AU. Complete (4,420) | CSaku | K+

Cherry Blossom Flames by Winged Lady Colette - A seven year old amnesiac awoke in a stream, being rescued by two brothers.  Ongoing | MadaSaku | M

Adaline by Nikki1212 - I would choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I would find you and I would choose you. AU. Ongoing | KakaSaku | T

Tempest by cywsaphyre - Back in time and armed with years of future knowledge, Sakura is ready to take the world by storm. Except... she's four again, not twelve. Ah well, nobody said she couldn't start a little early. Gen, time travel, AU, Sakuracentric. Discontinued | General | T

All This Time by thekatthatbarks - "I may not have fell like you did. I didn't fall gradually and slow over the span of twenty years. It was fast and sudden. It had me stumbling looking around trying to figure out where I was. I didn't even know it had happened." Complete (2,472) | ShikaSaku | K+

Team 8 by S’TarKan - What if Naruto had been selected for a different team? What if he'd had a different mentor? Who would guess the consequences would be so large? Ongoing | NaruHina | T | I don’t even like NaruHina anymore but this story is amazing (plot-oriented)

Better Man by Kakashisgf - Sakura and Sasuke have been married for over a decade, but things are far from perfect, and Sakura's beginning to realize that maybe she deserves better. Complete (179,759) | KakaSaku | M

Dirty Laundry by Slinkymilinky - Sakura had never been a fan of airing her dirty laundry in public…but Kakashi was often the exception to the rule. Lemony Oneshot. Complete (6,593) | KakaSaku | M

Time and Again by KyLewin - Time Travel fic. In a war torn future, in the burning ruins of Konohagakure, Naruto fights Orochimaru and loses as the world collapses around him. From that ending comes a new beginning and a new chance to set things right, if only he can figure out how.. Complete (456,787) | General | T

The Samurai and the Oni Girl by Silberias - AU KakaSaku set in Edo-period Japan. Sakura is the descendant of a red-haired foreigner as well as a merchant's daughter. Kakashi is a local samurai who has fallen on hard times, a man whose pride has been broken down to this point. Love comes after. Complete (131,644) | KakaSaku | T

Chippendales by Voyna - [AU] Sometimes, a girl needs a lap-dance to put life into perspective. Complete (15,645) | SasuHina | M

Once More, With Feeling by JinnySkeans - Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. Complete (127,462) | SasuSaku | M

In Case of Blue Scroll by Leola Majora - In Case of Blue Scroll the Hokage must lock himself in his office and pull his hair out as what he thought were memories of a long lost love turn out to be the memories of a mission he was about to assign his former student, Sakura Haruno. Complete (48,635) | KakaSaku | M

[I’ll update this again soon!]