#food innuendo

[theheartneverliez]

He loooks better than what he is fixing. If I am honest 🥰😚

Castella cake

“Who comes first ? Normally the guy !!”

🤣🤣🤣

[thegikitiki]

Meat Envy...

Manwich, 1977

[max--phillips]

This guy is so funny to me . And he does very good recipes imo

[strawberrycowtime]

need some good long narumitsu fic recs. please iam starvign. anything that’s not overly violengt/upsetting/nsfw is fine OLEASE. i. am STARVING.

[shiftythrifting]

A very questionable food clip

[2000ghosts]

february 28, 2006

[sportsandlaughs]

[naminethewriter]

On the Road, Just the Two of Us

Chapter Two: A Game for Just the Two of Us

Masterpost | First | Next | Ao3

Summary: This was written for @dukeceit-week-2024, @dukeceitweek

Janus and Remus are living in a campervan at the moment. Are they going somewhere? Who knows. The only thing that’s important is that they’re together.

Content Warnings: Innuendos, Food, Gross Food Combinations

🌻🌻🌻🌻

“Remus, keep your eyes on the road.”

“There’s no other car in sight though!”

“Right, and that can’t change any second. Or you drive off the road and we get stuck in the mud,” Janus scoffed.

Remus whined, “But I’m bored!”

“Then stop and I’ll drive.”

“No! You drove most of yesterday, you need rest!”

“Then stop complaining.”

Remus grumbled but kept quiet. Instead, he started shifting in his seat, trying to get the energy out. Janus watched him worriedly. There must be something to keep him occupied while still focusing on the road, right? He let his eyes wander around what he kept at the front of the camping van, looking for any inspiration.

He found it when his eyes fell on their food supply.

“I have an offer for you,” he announced to Remus, whose eyes flickered to him instantly, though he directed them back to the road just as quick.

“What?”

“We’ll play a game. I’ll mix some of our food in unusual combinations and you try to guess what it is. No peeking, so keep your eyes on the road. If you can’t we’ll stop playing.”

Remus practically vibed in his seat from the excitement and he nodded.

“Gimme, gimme, gimme!”

“Let me have a moment to prepare, you child,” Janus laughed, glad that his idea was well received. He started sorting through the basket of stuff they kept up front for mid-drive snacks and placed them around himself for better reach. Then he considered what to combine first.

“Alright, open your mouth. And remember, eyes on the road the entire time.”

With a little whoop, Remus followed his instructions and Janus popped the first thing in his mouth, impaled on a toothpick.

“Close and guess.”

Remus chewed excitedly but his expression soon shifted to disappointment.

“Oh, c’mon, Janny! Peanut butter and apple? That’s too easy!”

“Is it now?”

“Yes! I can’t really taste the apple but its crunch gives it away.”

“Does it?”

Remus furrowed his brows. He was pretty certain, but Janus’ smug tone gave him pause.

“Yes?” he replied, more unsure.

“You don’t sound as convinced anymore.”

Remus whined loudly.

“Don’t play mind games with me right now, Janny! That’s unfair! Tease me when we’re in bed together, not now!”

“Fine, fine, fine. It was a pear, not an apple.”

“…You hate crunchy pears.”

“I do.”

“Then why do we have some?”

“Because we’re living in a campervan and don’t go shopping as regularly as we usually do. So I bought some harder pears so that they can soften over a few days,” Janus explained, already putting together the next combination.

“You’re so smart, Jan.”

“Thank you. Now open your mouth.”

🌻🌻🌻🌻

They continued playing like that for another twenty minutes or so. Then Janus announced he had the final thing prepared.

“Awww, do we have to stop already?” Remus complained. Amazingly, he really had been able to keep his eyes gay forward the entire time.

“Yes. I don’t want to waste all our supplies on one game. And while I do know you have a stomach made of iron; I really don’t want you to get diarrhea while we’re in the middle of nowhere.” They did have an on-board toilet, but it was quite small and needed regular emptying. It would not be able to handle what Remus loved to call ‘The Shits™’.

“I guess that makes sense,” Remus agreed, though he still sounded unhappy about it. “Give me the goods.” He hung his mouth wide open and Janus put the last combo on his tongue. Remus chewed for a long moment.

“Pickle water definitely.”

“Yes.”

“It’s really chewy. But all I can taste is the pickles.”

“I might have put this in the jar as soon as we started playing the game.”

“So it’s been sitting in there for like half an hour?! No wonder only the pickles remain!”

“Closer to twenty than thirty minutes but I guess that makes little difference.”

“Smartass.”

“You’re so right, my ass is really smart.”

Remus cackled for a moment before he concentrated back on what he’d just eaten.

“You actually stumped me, fucking shit,” he mumbled a full minute later. Janus smirked.

“It was a sour snake.”

“You smart fucker!”

“Thank you.”

“We’re so playing this again. With a full kitchen. You have to feed me more weird shit.”

“Sure, Remus. I totally don’t regret making this game up now.”

Remus laughed again, bright and cheerful. Janus smiled. Yes, that’s how his boyfriend should always look.

[responsivethoughts]

Oh my sweet potato, I could eat you day and night...

[theheartneverliez]

Rolo-Ritz sandwiches

😋🤤

Yummy !

[thegikitiki]

Get the Morning Tang Habit!

Tang Breakfast Drink, 1960

[visually-corrupted]

[jinx-rants]

Hot take of the day: 99% of people who don’t like eggplant just aren’t cooking it thoroughly enough. Eggplant is bomb.

🍆💣

[shiftythrifting]

Good Stuff Thrift

[hazbinsinners]

;; being autistic and chronically ill is so fun bc sometimes u tell someone u dont feel good and they ask if you have eaten food drank water or generally done a single act of self care or necessity for survival and sometimes u literally realize the answer is no

[liskantope]

[in Hayden Christiansen's voice] I don't like honey. It's thick and sticky and gummy, and it gets everywhere.

(Seriously, though: I actually do like honey, but even the minutest bit that doesn't get properly wiped off the side of my hand or the honey container will wind up on my table or keyboard or spread across anything else.)