#follower counts that low are gonna be such an outlier it shouldn’t matter

[pepsinister]

I hate everyone else’s follower count polls because they usually break up the categories in a way that naturally creates spikes in the distribution, so here’s mine:

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 , Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20,  Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Six months passed since Kaleb and Amalthia had first moved in together. Since that time, she transferred some of her most important possessions from her father's place - including the ubiquitous workbench and welding components, which she set up in Ulfgar's back storage room. Kaleb, on the other hand, could not quite bring himself to return to his old homestead, especially considering the circumstances of his departure.

His tour of duty with the Seraph was over, so now he had far more free time available to establish his career options. During this time, both he and Amalthia began searching for hotspots throughout Tyria, hoping to cash in on their respective combat skills. Helping to clean towns of troublesome undead became a particular specialty of theirs.

***

Kaleb clamored up a small hill while waving a brightly colored banner that was attached at the end of a long pole. As he held the colorful object aloft, the mournful groans of the undead became ever louder.

"Hey! Over here you maggot shitters!" In spite of their various states of decomposition, they moved with surprising bursts of speed. So much so that one of them nearly snagged Kaleb by the ankle just as he was trying to sprint away. When he reached the top of the precipice, he found that his only avenue of escape had been blocked. The undulating mass of festering corpses began surging directly towards him as he threw down the banner then pulled out his revolvers. His weapons blazed as scores of the rotten creatures began to fall in droves. Seconds later, he saw a row of their heads explode followed by a thunderous crack.

"Keep up the good work, love. You're doing great," came Amalthia's voice from another precipice three hundred yards away. She waved to him while lying in the prone position with her high-powered long rifle tucked firmly against her shoulder. Several shots from her longarm destroyed half a dozen of the putrid creatures as they tried converging on Kaleb's position.

"A little more off the side, if you don't mind Miss Steelblade," Kaleb shouted as he felled several more of the creatures with his revolvers.

"Be more specific, Mr. Grimwald. Left or right?"

Twelve more zombies surged upon Kaleb's position. He quickly turned, reloaded then emptied all but two rounds in each gun as the corpses fell all around him.

"Whichever side is closest to killing me first would be great. Please and thank you."

Amalthia reloaded as well then lined up more heads for a multi-shot takedown. As the high-velocity rounds ripped through the row of skulls, showers of rotten brain matter splattered across Kaleb's face and clothing.

"Ugh! Well, that's one jerkin that's going to become a work shirt," he quipped as he tried his best to prevent the rest of his designer outfit from getting soiled from the remnants of the undead.

"Serves you right for wearing your church clothes to a risen slaughter," Amalthia shouted with laughter.

Kaleb chuckled at the comment and responded in kind. "Well, then I am appropriately dressed, cause this sort of thing is my kind of preying!"

"Pray or prey? Homophones are a bitch, aren't they?"

"Oh. Now you're just being factious. Clear my back."

Amalthia unleashed two more rounds, as one of the risen's body started to convulse after it had been relieved of its head. Reloading, six more to your left."

"Got 'em!"

He fired the remaining four rounds then as he reached down to reload, he found that his ammo reserved had been completely exhausted.

"I'm out. Hit me up for some reloads," Kaleb shouted as he locked his eyes upon hers.

She grabbed four bundles of replacement speedload rounds then, then using an atl ltl-type throwing device, hurled them in Kaleb's direction. With reflexes rivaling that of a cat he caught the reloads then promptly attempted to chamber a full load of them into each revolver. However, the undead were almost upon him by the time he was trying to reload.

"Looks like Bob is gonna get a workout today." Kaleb drew his longsword and began hacking away at the risen masses.

"Did you hear that? Something's coming, love - something big!" Amalthia's lower ears began to twitch from picking up the low frequency sound.

"My hearing isn't a sensitive as yours. You have any clues as to what it might be?" Kaleb asked as he finally had a chance to reload his guns.

Amalthia replied. "Nada. Surely even you can hear it now, because it's really, really close."

Kaleb readied for the next onslaught when, suddenly, a cluster of trees in front of him began to part. Rising up from the parted treetops, stood a massive humanoid figure that looked to be at least thirty feet tall.

"I may not have heard it, but I sure as hell see it. Giant... RUUNN!"

With a measure of speed even he had not dreamed was possible, Kaleb darted towards a mass of undead all the while firing wildly, hoping to avoid the giant that was rapidly coming his way. The creature's enormous stride quickly closed the gap as he tried desperately to avoid its grasp. It was too late.

The hideous decomposing monstrosity grasped hold of the young man, lifting him up towards its massive head. He fired several rounds into its skull but with no effect. As the creature's lipless jaws yawned opened to devour its prey, drawing Kaleb ever closer towards its foul-smelling mouth, the abomination's entire body began to convulse. Suddenly, the creature began to buckle to the ground. Kaleb looked up at its face and saw standing atop its head; the backlit form of a slender horned feline. When the monstrosity finally crumpled to the ground, Amalthia was standing over the creature with her longsword planted deeply into the base of its skull.

"Base of the neck. It's the only way to kill those things, silly!" Amalthia said as she loped off the vanquished foe on all fours. She then ran over to Kaleb and gave him a brief but passionate kiss.

"Well, I knew that. I was just firing for effect."

"Yeah, right. Sure you were. You panicked. Admit it!" She playfully chided him.

"Did not!" He stuck his tongue out.

"Bullshit. Did too! Be a man and fess up!"

"Okay, okay. I'll admit, I was a little freaked when a thirty foot monster was going to turn me into two-hundred and ten pounds of poop," Kaleb retorted.

"Um. The undead don't poop."

"They do too. Or else how else would they be able to keep eating so much."

"Well, I've never seen one poop," Amalthia shook her head while grinning in amusement over the nature of the conversation.

Upon gaining his composure, Kaleb pointed to the fallen giant. "Poop or no poop, that's quite a haul, there. Whaddya think? A hundred gold just for the big guy?"

Amalthia shook her head. "Nah. Fifty tops. You know how cheap town mayors are in these places."

"Y'know. If neither of us had a conscience, we could have let them snack on a few of the townsfolk first. I'm sure the mayor would have paid us double for each head we turned in," Kaleb stated as he began the grim work collecting the heads (or at least what he could salvage) from the fallen undead.

"Blah! It's going to take me over a week to get this stench out of my fur. Well, it looks like I trashed yet another set of flashy clothes as well," Amalthia grumbled as she began hacking off the heads from the fallen corpses.

Kaleb gathered up a sack full of heads as well then hurled them into the back of the dolyak cart. Any skulls that were fragmented or too badly shattered to be reconstructed were placed in a separate wooden box.

"I hope they don't chince us on our kill count. I know I must have blown up at least thirty heads."

Amalthia began her own meticulous count. "Perhaps you should use Bob a bit more, then. He does give a much cleaner cut, after all."

"That's all fine and dandy from your point of view. You're not the one standing just inches away from hordes of gouls wanting to have you for their next meal." Kaleb sounded miffed.

Her ears drooped. "I didn't mean it that way, Kal. I was just trying to be funny, that's all."

Kaleb came up to give her a reassuring hug. "I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

She looked into his eyes then gently licked him on the face. "It's alright, sweetie. I think the both of us are just tired, stressed and exhausted. Tell you what - once we show the town mayor our bounty and collect our pay, we can go to Lion's Arch and shop for some totally new wardrobes."

"Um. Did you just lick me after cleaning the undead gunk off your fur?"

Amalthia planted her muzzle on his lips then ran her tongue down his mouth for a moment before pulling away. "Would you expect anything else?"

She smiled and laughed. Kaleb, on the other hand, hunkered over and spat on the ground several times.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."

***

The couple headed on over to Lion's Arch the following day. Flocks of seagulls soared low over the fishing docks as Amalthia and Kaleb enjoyed the seaside atmosphere. They were strolling along the boardwalk, hoping to find some unusual decor for their new place.

Kaleb held up a giant bronze starfish sculpture. "Like it?"

Amalthia placed her clawed finger to her lips then shook her head. "Nah. The nautical theme is just not our style."

"Bummer. It would have looked great hanging over our bed."

"Um. That's asking for a death wish, you know. One good bump and that thing will go falling off and wind up gouging through someone's eye socket. I'll pass, thank you very much," Amalthia said as she turned away giving a dismissive wave.

"Do your people perceive everything as being deadly? I thought they loved sharp, pointy objects." Kaleb quipped.

"Weapons, yes. Poorly made, tacky sculptures? No so much."

The artist merchant gave her an angry glare. Kaleb carefully placed the tacky object back on the display wall.

"Hey. Didn't we come here to buy new outfits?" He said.

"By Buntfur's tail... you're right love! Let's head on over to Ariyana's place."

Kaleb and Amalthia headed towards the main shopping district. Each wanting to hold the others' hand, but knowing that open displays of romantic affection between their races would only invite unwanted trouble.

They finally arrived at the boutique named Roses and Thorns Apparel. The menagerie of custom-made outfits overwhelmed Kaleb - everything from norn wedding gowns to sylvari casual wear was on display. He especially liked the charr-themed human-sized apparel.

The owner happened to see them walking in. "Darlings! Why come on in!"

"Hi Ari. I'm back, as promised," Amalthia said as she waved to the chicly dressed sylvari woman.

Ariyana immediately recognized her client and strode over with a grace befitting a feline. Her large green eyes looked Kaleb over carefully as the patterns in her barklike skin glowed a shimmering pale blue.

"Oh my. Who is this specimen of a man?"

"Kaleb's the name." He reached out to shake her hand. With the regalness of a courtier, she clasped his hand with both of her delicate fingers as she greeted him with a wide smile.

"Kaleb. Your name is no stranger to my ears. Amalthia, darling - tis good to see you!" She reached out to give the charr a hug.

Amalthia returned the favor. "Good to see you again as well, Ari. How are things going here? Is Jestin around?"

"Fine, fine. My dear. As a matter of fact, things are going quite splendidly. One of the noble families from Divinity's Reach commissioned us to design their wedding apparel. They wanted a norn theme with a bit of sylvari flare thrown in. Oh. I almost forgot... my fiancé is downstairs putting the finishing touches on a business suit for a client."

"I'm glad that things are working out so well for your business. So you and Jestin getting... what's the word, love?" Amalthia struggled with the word as she looked in Kaleb's direction.

"Married?" Kaleb helped her out.

"Yes. Married."

Ariyana's face lit up when she heard Amalthia call Kaleb 'love'. "Goodness me. So are you and this lovely lad together as well?"

Kaleb held Amalthia's pawed hand. "Yes we are. We've been through a lot together and I'm very happy to call her my significant other."

"Just a moment, dearie." Ariyana ran towards the basement stairway and shouted. "Jestin my dear. You must come up now. You'll want to see this."

"Be there in a minute, dear."

Unable to contain her jubilation, Ariyana gave both Kaleb and Amalthia a big hug. Her fiancé came up the stairs a short time later. He was a slender human of long blond hair and soft porcelain skin complexion. He appeared to be somewhat shy and introverted, but when he joined his mate his demeanor changed dramatically.

"Jestin. You remember Amalthia, don't you?"

"Yes I do. Nice to meet you Amalthia." He shook her hand and only gave Kaleb a friendly stare.

"He doesn't bite darling. This is Kaleb, Amalthia's mate."

"Mate? Oh wow! Nice to meet you Kaleb!" Jestin eagerly grabbed him by the hand and shook it vigorously.

Kaleb clapped him on the shoulder and smiled as he returned the handshake. "Nice to meet you too, Jestin. Even nicer to see that there are more couples like us around."

"So true, indeed," Ariyana said as she remembered something else. "Oh how rude of me. Would you two like to go out somewhere to dine or have you already eaten?"

"His stomach is a bottomless pit and so is mine. We are game," Amalthia replied as she gave Kaleb a quick kiss on the cheek.

The two couples headed out of the shop then down along the main thoroughfare as they perused the various eating establishments. Ariyana noticed that her friends were not holding hands in public and decided to provide some encouragement.

"It's okay, darlings. People here don't think twice about cross-racial couples displaying affection with each other."

Kaleb seemed skeptical. "But a human and a charr? I have yet to see a couple like Amalthia and I."

"Well, someone has to start somewhere. Might as well be now, right?" Ariyana said as she clasped hold of each of their hands and joined them together.

"Thanks, Ari. I just don't want our open display of affection to be a source of trouble for you and Jestin," Amalthia said as she held Kaleb's hand tightly.

As the quartet rounded the corner to the next alleyway that led to another row of shops, Kaleb noticed a group of around twelve scruffy men approaching their direction. When they got closer, he could see that they had a number of weapons sticking out from under their jackets.

"Well take a look at this sight, boys. Two humans holding hands with a fleabag and a walking cabbage," said a large bearded man with a scarred face and rotten teeth.

A smaller man with a patch over his left eye reached into his overcoat for something sinister. "We don't like their kind. Disgusting!"

"Disgusting is right. Get 'em, boys!" The twelve men rushed the quartet only to be stopped in their tracks when Kaleb drew his revolvers.

"I've got enough here for each of you. Now let's just call this a cultural misunderstanding and we'll all be on our merry way."

The big man laughed. "Oh. I'm scared of your big, bad guns. Go ahead, boy, and shoot. If you do, it'll bring the full force of the Brotherhood and the Lion Guard on top of yas."

"He's right, Kaleb. Let's do this up close and personal. Ready Bob?" Amalthia said as she reached to draw her longsword.

Ariyana stopped her before she could unsheathe her weapon. "It's okay, darling. No need to draw that long, nasty object."

"Ariyana, please... don't!" Jestin shouted as he tried to stop her.

Ariyana calmly moved towards the men as she began to monologue.

"I have invited my friends to brunch. And those who know me also know that I hate breaking promises. Now you all be good lads and run along," she smiled with a strangely wicked gleam in her eye.

"Well. If they are going to lunch then they'll need to have some appetizers first, starting with a salad," the big man said as he drew out his shortsword and lunged towards the sylvari.

When his blade swung down, all it met was air. But before he had time to react, a slender feminine form emerged from behind followed by unimaginable searing pain. Ariyana's dagger thrust deeply into the man's side, causing his eyes to roll back just seconds before he fell on the ground dead.

The remaining eleven men had no time to react before the sylvari's fleeting shadowy form began slashing away at their vital areas. One of the last things the skinny man saw as a dagger going into his eye socket. When it was all over, twelve bigots lay on the ground either dead or dying.

Amalthia looked at Kaleb and confessed. "You now, if I were into doing women, I would ask her to be my mate right now."

Kaleb laughed in agreement. "I would too."

"Aren't I enough for you, Kaleb?" Amalthia teased.

"Well, you made the statement. So I just had to respond in kind." He laughed.

Jestin just sat on the ground quivering in shock. "I... I had hoped she wouldn't slip back into her old ways. Damn those narrow-minded bigots for doing that to her!"

Ariyana wiped off her twin daggers using the cloth from one of the fallen goons then deftly slid them away under her pantaloons. "Aww. I'm so sorry, dear. I had a momentary relapse. People like them cause me to do that sometimes. Please forgive me."

"I do," Jestin said as he stood up and held his mate close.

"Glad to know he forgives you. But I can't say much for the Lion Guard. Lookout!" Kaleb said as he pointed towards some approaching soldiers. "If you will, dearie. Be so kind," Ariyana said to her mate who pulled out a small staff.

Within seconds, an invisibility bubble formed around them. Jestin then beckoned for everyone to head towards the alleyway at the far end of the street.

"Hurry! It will only hold for another ten seconds," he said while trying to maintain the illusion.

Mesmers. Gotta love 'em, Kaleb mused to himself as they successfully evaded capture.

The illusion fell away once they were safely on the other end of the row. Amalthia looked at her sylvari friend and said. "That was some mighty fine dagger play. Where'd you learn to do that anyway?"

Ariyana casually smiled acting as if nothing unusual had transpired. "Well. I wasn't always a fashion designer, you know. Before my beloved found me and saved me from those dreadful Nightmare Courtiers, I used to be one of their best assassins, although I am ashamed to admit it now."

"You were part of the Nightmare Court?" Kaleb queried.

The sylvari bowed and shook her head in shame. "It was a dreadful time for me. To even think I was part of that vile entity. Anyway, my beloved saved me from myself."

"How'd he do that?" Amalthia asked.

Jestin held his mate close. "I will explain the rest. She still gets very upset whenever this subject comes up."

The young man began to tell his tale of how he and some elementalists from the Pact forces came across a Nightmare Court patrol in the Brisbane Wilds. During the engagement, Ariyana managed to kill nearly every Pact member except for him.

"There I was scared out of my wits. She held those daggers just below each ear threatening to thrust them into the base of my skull. My death was only moments away when reinforcements arrived. While she was distracted, I managed to conjure an illusion to slip away. By the time she realized what happened, she was already surrounded."

He continued his tale.

"The Pact commander wanted to execute her on the spot. I, however, wanted to see her live to see her answer for her crimes. It was during our trek through the wilderness that she began to break down and confess that she really didn't want to be a part of the Court. She was chosen because of her natural ability with the blade. So by the time we reached base camp, my perception of her began to change. I no longer thought that she was an inherently evil person, err sylvari I mean. Anyway, she was just caught up in a situation where she had to adapt in order to survive."

Ariyana interjected. "Out of all my captors, he was the one who took the time to understand me for who I was. I suppose it was then that I began to fall in love with that human."

"So what about you? Did you fall in love with her?" Amalthia asked.

"It certainly wasn't love at first sight. But after talking to her awhile, my feelings for her began to grow. It was then that I decided to vouch for her character. Several weeks later, she was put on trial for her alleged crimes. Through a miracle of good fortune, I managed to convince the judiciary that she was a victim of circumstance. In the end, the court ruled in her favor. We've been together ever since," Jestin said with a smile as he held Ariyana's hand.

The sylvari smiled and asked. "Fair is fair. Please, tell us your story."

"Oh my. Where to begin," Amalthia said as she and Kaleb took turns discussing the origin of their love affair. After exchanging stories, the two couples headed on over to one of the local eateries. They arrived at a local seafood cafe and each ordered their own local dishes.

"I wonder if they will launch an investigation into that incident back there," Kaleb wondered as he dove into his plate of shrimp pasta.

"Murders happen here all the time. If I confessed, they might actually award me a medal for cleaning up the city of its filth. Sorry if the comment may come across as cruel and insensitive," Ariyana said with a sheepish look on her face. She and Jestin shared a crab legs delight with several sides of cornbread.

Amalthia laughed as she poured her mead over a fourteen-ounce bloody rare dolyak steak. "It's okay. I understand. The old ways never truly die out. Learn to embrace them, my sire always says, because you never know when they might come in handy."

Kaleb raised his glass to offer a toast. "No truer words spoken, m'dear! To the old ways... and new."

"Here, here," came the chorus.

Once they were finished with their meals, the four of them headed back to Ariyana's place of business. Kaleb looked at his outfit then at Amalthia's and realized they had lost track of their main reason for going to Lion's Arch in the first place.

"Ari. Can you possibly hit us up for some new outfits? We need ones that are durable and can survive the rigors of our profession," Kaleb commented as Amalthia nodded with a big smile in agreement.

"Why of course, darling. Once we are in the shop, I'll break out the sketchpad and we'll work out a design that is suited to you both! Oh. I have a wonderful vision in mind already."

Amalthia's ears fluttered. "Ohh. I can't wait to see your idea! Bite-resistant body armor is a must, though."

"But of course! You will never know it was even there," the sylvari said with a smile.

Kaleb interjected another idea. "Oh yeah. Our outfits must be matching, if possible. It would be nice for people to see that she and I work as a team."

"Consider it done, dearie."

Kaleb and Amalthia spent the next few hours getting their measurements taken by Ariyana and Jestin. Once the measurements were finished, Amalthia began perusing the rest of her friend's shop hoping to find some additional inspiration. She looked at a long, white dress that appeared to be made for a petite human.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Kaleb said as he wrapped his arms around Amalthia holding her close.

Even though she was a head and a half taller at full standing height than Kaleb, she lowered her heels enough so his head could comfortably rest on her shoulder. He stroked her mane and kissed the side of her neck as she purred in satisfaction.

"Um. I suppose so. What exactly is it?"

Stunned, Kaleb gave her a brief explanation of human marriage rituals and mentioned some of the traditions and customs that went along with them. Upon hearing the information, Amalthia began to smile and gave her mate an affectionate lick on the face.

"So I guess that's what I'll expect if you have to kiss me," Kaleb said with a laugh.

Ariayana overheard the conversation and chimed in. "Ohhh. Wouldn't that be special? To have the two of you join under the banner of such a sacred tradition? You keep giving me ideas, my furry horned friend."

Amalthia turned to the sylvari. "It was actually Kaleb's idea to see me in one of those."

"My dear. You would look splendid!"

"I agree with Ari. That would look really good on you, with a few alterations of course," Kaleb said as he held Amalthia's pawed hands.

In the background, Jestin looked at his new friends and smiled as he walked over and stood next to his mate.

"It is truly the dawn of a new era in Tyria when a human and a charr consider getting married to each other."

Kaleb thought to himself as he held Amalthia close, indeed it is my friend, indeed it is. (All chapters have been posted to AO3. Chapter 24 is posted here.)