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ut-girl666 · 10 days ago

Text

EthGoesBoom crew as Incorrect Quotes

Mainly Focused on FNAF 1 band, BB, Goldie, and Puppet

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool–

Foxy: Bonnie, what are you doing?

Bonnie: *keeps saying “so cool”*

Foxy: Bonnie.

Bonnie: *keeps saying “so cool”*

Foxy: Bonnie!

Bonnie: *still saying “so cool”*

Foxy: *reaching his hands around Bonnie’s throat* SHUT THE FUCK UP, BONNIE!

[reference]

«—-–-—»

Springtrap/William Afton: and without looking up at me, my very first creation just said:

Golden Freddy: *still reading his newspaper* you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

«—-–-—»

*Puppet talking to Fredbear*

Puppet: I am very small.

Puppet: and [one of our makers is a murderer] I have no money.

Puppet: so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.

«—-–-—»

*After the murders in 1987 / at FNAF 2 Location*

Puppet: Hold the fuck up.

Goldie: Excuse me?

Puppet: I said hold the fuck up.

Goldie:

Puppet, cradling a dead child’s body, a waterfall of tears streaming down his face: I'm the fuck up, hold me.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Puppet: That's why I own TEN guns.

Puppet: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

«—-–-—»

Goldie: What are you writing?

Puppet: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the pizzeria. I'm letting them know it's private information.

Goldie, looking over Puppet's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

«—-–-—»

Cop: You ran a red light.

Foxy: So did you, hypocrite.

Cop: I was following you.

Foxy: That was dumb, l'm a terrible driver.

Cop: Get out.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

BB: Weight loss? Drink water.

Freddy: Clear skin? Drink water.

Foxy: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

«—-–-—»

Foxy to Bonnie: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Puppet: Cockroach ankles!

Foxy: Ye– uh, what?

«—-–-—»

BB: Is five a lot of followers?

Puppet: Depends on the context.

Puppet: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.

Puppet: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: Foxy isn't answering my calls.

BB: Let me try!

Freddy: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Foxy: *picking up after the first ring* Hello.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery. I am going to revoke your life privileges.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: If you think I'm playing favorites, you're wrong. I like all of you equally!

Foxy, earlier: I don't care for Bonnie.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: I was just diagnosed with deez.

Foxy: Good, I hope it's lethal.

«—-–-—»

Villain/Antagonist: Nothing in life is free.

Bonnie: Love is free.

Goldie: Knowledge is free.

Puppet: Friendship is free.

Foxy: Self-respect is free.

BB: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.

The Squad: ...

Freddy: BB, that's illegal-

Foxy: No no, let him finish!

«—-–-—»

Chica: BB was in a fight!

Freddy: Oh no, that's terrible!

Foxy: Did he win?!

«—-–-—»

Goldie: Are you sure this is safe?

Puppet: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.

Puppet: Keep twisting, junior! All you're gonna get is clicks.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Freddy: >:O language!

BB: Yeah, watch your fucking language.

Foxy: Okay, who taught BB the fuck word?!

Bonnie: 'The fuck word'.

Goldie: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time.

Foxy: Oh my god he censored it

Chica: Say fuck, Golden Freddy.

Foxy: Do it, Golden Freddy. Say fuck.

«—-–-—»

Toy Chica: I'm having problems with a guy...

Mangle: Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

«—-–-—»

*Golden Freddy is trying to give Freddy a mentor-student pep-talk*

Goldie: You've got to learn to love yourself.

Freddy: But don't you hate yourself?

Goldie: Yes, but this is about you. Stay focused.

«—-–-—»

*The Crew at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Goldie, Freddy, and Toy Freddy: *spinning a little and talking*

Foxy, BB, Bonnie, Candy, and Puppet: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

«—-–-—»

Chica, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

«—-–-—»

Goldie: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.

Foxy: That sounds like a dare to me.

Goldie: *facepalming* Oh my god.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.

Bonnie: Foxy, NO!

«—-–-—»

Foxy: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Don't worry, I have a permit.

*Goldie and Freddy both look it over*

Goldie: *levels Foxy with an unimpressed stare*

Freddy: ...This just says "I can do what I want".

«—-–-—»

Foxy, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Toy Freddy: Tea.

Foxy: Wrong. It's coffee.

«—-–-—»

Chica: You didn't cry when bambi's mother died?!

Foxy, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Hey, are you okay?

Foxy: Yeah.

Bonnie: You don't look okay...

Foxy: Then stop looking.

«—-–-—»

*Goldie, Puppet, and Spring Bonnie are in yet another argument about ST/WA*

Spring Bonnie: You know what you two’s problem is?

Puppet: We only have one?

«—-–-—»

Candy: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Freddy: *crouches down*

Puppet: *lowers into a kneeling position like he’s in his box*

Goldie: *moves into a sitting position in the air and lowers to be at eye level*

Candy:

Candy: I hate all of you.

«—-–-—»

JJ: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable!

JJ: ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

«—-–-—»

BB: Puppet won't wake up, what do I do?

Foxy: Did you try kicking them?

BB: Yes.

Foxy: I'm out of ideas.

«—-–-—»

Chica: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Goldie: What?

Chica: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Goldie: So a calzone?

Chica: You can't just name things I dream up.

«—-–-—»

*Mike/Micheal is making a phone call to Mary (FNAC SG)*

Mike: It is 5:09.

Mike: I am wondering why l'm still alive.

Mike: Send Wendy's.

Chica: The whole restaurant?!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Hey Foxy, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Bonnie: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Foxy: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Foxy: *realizes*

Foxy: The fucking satisfaction.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: Which country has the most birds?

Freddy: Portu-geese!

Bonnie: That's a language.

Freddy: Portu-gull?

BB: Good recovery.

Chica: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Foxy: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

«—-–-—»

Chica: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Freddy: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Chica: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

BB: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Bonnie: ...put it away.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: I told Foxy that his ears glow when he lies.

Toy Bonnie: Do they?

Puppet: No.

Toy Bonnie: Then why did you tell him that?

Puppet: Because I can do this–

Puppet: –Hey Foxy! Do you love us?

Foxy, with his hands over his ears: No.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Bonnie: Actually, Foxy, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes-

Foxy: -or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Chica: No, that's not how you make cookies.

BB: FLOOR IT!!

Foxy: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Freddy: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE PIZZERIA DOWN-

Foxy: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

BB: DO IT!

Bonnie: NO-

*Goldie scolds them all very harshly for their stupidity afterwards*

«—-–-—»

{Either not long before, or after the last one happens}

Freddy: Hey, Golden Freddy, have you thought about what it’d be like having children?

Goldie: ...

Goldie: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.

Freddy: But we're not childr-

Goldie, already distracted, and beginning to go stop it: BONNIE, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Why are you wearing glasses?

Goldie: Errr… I’m doing the taxes…?

Foxy: Taxes?

Foxy: I didn't know you could do taxes.

Goldie: *unimpressed look*

«—-–-—»

BB to Springtrap: If looking good was a crime, you'd be a law abiding citizen.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: What did you guys get ranked by the kids?

Chica: 'Prettiest Smile'.

Freddy: 'Nicest Personality'.

Foxy: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'.

Goldie: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: How would you like your coffee?

Candy: As dark as my soul.

Freddy: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I have a bad feeling about this...

Foxy: What do you mean?

Bonnie: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Foxy: No?

Chica: That actually explains so much.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

«—-–-—»

*While the Squad is in a battle*

Foxy, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Bonnie: Take it back now y'all!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Foxy...

Foxy: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed.

Foxy: Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: It's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.

Goldie: Despite your thinking, while difficult, it is quite possible to form one without the specific letter. Here's one more to further disprove your theory.

Foxy: Fuck you.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I'm not stupid, you know.

Foxy: Well, you're doing a really good impression of it!

«—-–-—»

Freddy: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Goldie: *puts a hand on his shoulder*

Goldie: No.

Goldie: No, you’re not.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Foxy, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

«—-–-—»

Puppet and Goldie, entering the room: *Sees Springtrap and leaves*

Springtrap, watching Puppet and Goldie leave: There's my monthly dose of Puppet and Golden Freddy...

«—-–-—»