#fluffnsmutnet

[paersephone]

yay thank you to moondoorqueen and starrycas for tagging me in the beautiful people challenge, u cool!

so i’m tagging these awesome peeps, bc i need to see more of your prettiness: tattooedbrothers, hailgabriel, aziraphvle, deancasheadcanons, wiinchestur, hiclarence, locallypilots, protectordean, armydean, mishasmiles aaaaaand cutejolras, duh ;)

and everybody else who wants do it, too, please don’t hold back and do it and tag me so i can admire you :3

[topcas]

When I was in the seventh grade, someone told me that I had no friends. Well, her words went along the lines of “I bet you can’t even name five”, I did, but I still wonder if they were ever really friends or just people to talk to when we were in a room alone. After all, I can still tell you exactly where in the classroom they were each sitting when this happened, but I’m telling a story that holds no lines for their parts. It was sophomore year when I learned that friendship has conditions. Don’t be too smart, don’t be too funny, don’t be too pretty, don’t be too happy. Don’t be anything better than anyone around you. You are there to compliment. You are there to encourage and laugh and listen. But above all, don’t be too kind. Nobody likes a girl who doesn’t gossip. Jealous comes in a variety of shades, all of them bright pink and sparkling. After all, cats were born with claws. Sometimes you don’t realize that the fire burns until you get too close, only to find a piece of singed hair falling to the ground. When she talks bad about all of her other friends, I try to help.  I don’t question if she’s telling them about the smoke drowning my lungs and the darkness that wells in my eyes, the secrets that I thought would never be shared. Here’s a hint: She does. When I met you for the first time, I saw them in you. I saw the parts of every voice that made up my childhood, every whisper in my ear,. every laugh just behind a turned back Your words recycled speeches that every girl like you  has ever given, every ultimatum, every sharp slip of the tongue. You were the harsh silence in between broken stares  and clipped sentences that followed me around.  I’m sure you think that you’re special that you’re brand new and shining right off the lot  One Of a Kind written in gold ink across your pretty smile. “First do no harm,” your motto when anyone asks, yet, stick your nails into any prey with a weak skin the second the curtain closes and the stage fades to black. Pretty little things like you, well I’ve seen them all. Trust me, you may think you’re something sweet and special, but in the end, you’re just another girl like you.

girls like you // m.v.g

[valarmorghulas]

shitsprinkle did a thing to my hair!!

[talvshoth-remade]

i took this forever ago but look how good i look

[starcrossedean]

keep  moving  on  until  forever  ends

[paersephone]

hey everyone,

there’s been this post circulating which is a cockles manip made from my photo op from burcon14 and i just keep on seeing it on my dash and getting more and more notes, but the problem i have with it is that first and foremost i have not been asked if my picture could even get used and second there are no credits towards me (which i both feel like is tumblr etiquette?). i don’t know if it seems petty to some of you, but if you have photo ops yourself i think you might understand how one feels if they get publicly used without being asked if it was okay. and i would’ve been okay with it, i’ve been asked in the past, i have never denied it, but i do want to know about it and get the credits i ‘deserve’. i contacted the blogger who initially posted the particular post, but they don’t seem to be very active and haven’t gotten back at me yet (even though i see that they’ve been blogging since i did), but i also saw that they said that they had only found the manip online themselves with no source whatsoever. i mean, no source as to where it came from i understand, but there must’ve been a link to whatever page/blog it was first posted on, but i don’t have that information.

so basically, i don’t really know what i’m particularly asking of you guys other than spreading the word by reblogging this post which would be great; and maybe if you come across the post and reblog it and see that it’s without a source (i can obviously only tag myself in handful) that you maybe tag me yourself on it so that your followers can see the link. or a really long shot, maybe you know who actually made the manip and posted it originally and can tell me their name.

it would be very much appreciated, it does make me more upset than i thought it would.

thank you! <3

[topcas]

Guess who's back from Cuba!!

[topcas]

Chasing Cars // by me

So I wanted to post a new cover to here and I also wanted to schedule something for Julia to see while I’m in Cuba and this is the result! 

[paersephone]

vegas, baby!

heyyy, you guys add me on snapchat :))

because vegascon is next week and my story will be probably 1037 seconds long and then you can see all that's happening :)

but still: username is vidhyav 

i'll add you all back <3

[valarmorghulas]

Happy Sunday!

[topcas]

i. i'm sixteen years old and he's trying to convince me to meet up with him tomorrow because "we need to talk" but i refuse to stand by holding the truth in the palm of my hand but not let the sword drop quite yet so i call him immediately and before his words are barely off the tip of the double edged sword some may call a muscle that can speak so much love, yet so often speak so much hate, i am crying into the line begging him please don't go, i'll do anything for you anything in the world and suddenly my father is smacking the phone from my hand, pulling me into his arms and saying, "do not ever beg for anyone to love you" ii. i'm two weeks shy of a birthday and his text messages come sparser and sparser until a part of me knows that nothing will be the same again and he tells me that he's still in love with his ex and refuses to text back but two days later he tells me that he lied and he tells me that i'm too sad and too depressing to handle and why can't you just be happier and smile more why can't you just stop being so sad and i'm crying on the bathroom floor begging and begging and begging for love iii. i'm seventeen and it's hot outside and we just signed up to do a play together it ended the way it started i guess we met over a play and i guess that made it balanced. i'm driving home from practice and have to pull over in an empty parking lot to reply back through my tears that are spilling like hot water over my cheeks and i tried to look so pretty this morning for him but now all that effort is smeared across my eyelashes and my lips and i'm trying to convince him not to do this how can you care about someone so much one day and just completely be over it the next? i'm trying to just be friends with him with the hope holed up in my heart that maybe one day he'll love me again and at least he likes me in some capacity and maybe, maybe just maybe this time it will last but this time i'm done begging for anything anymore and i give him a hug and turn my back, with a promise that i'll see him soon but i never do and i never look back iv. i'm eighteen and she said yes to me five days ago and i'm the happiest girl in the world and i'm about to leave for college and all of my dreams are finally coming true and i'm surrounded by love and i wake up in the morning and i know i know what's about to happen and i text her and say we need to talk because she's been avoiding me all day and i will never sit by the phone waiting to be loved and i'm not quite expecting how quick her response is or her refusal to even talk to me on the phone this time and she's just hanging out with her family and her friends are all over and it's just another day for her but for me it's the end of my life and my heart is breaking and i'm crying on the bathroom floor for the last time and trying to hide it from everyone around me because i just met them yesterday does this really have to be their first impression of me and i'm deleting her number and i'm blaring taylor swift on repeat because all i wanted was a fairy tale not an ending

i have never once been broken up with in person // m.v.g 

[topcas]

In other news: Heres a much /cuter/ picture of me today pls ignore the previous one

[topcas]

So I don’t hate my face today

[topcas]

New Years Eve selfie! You cant really see my eyeshadow but its gold and glittery bc I shine bright like a diamond

[valarmorghulas]

Merry Christmas!

[topcas]

the "HOLY SHIT IM DONE WITH FINALS" promo

Spoiler alert...I'm not done with finals. But I'm going to post the promo as a celebration when I aaammm

mbf this INSANELY STRESSED OUT STUDY ABROAD STUDENT

rebloggie the post

Send me support to get me through this rough time????

Ends whenever I submit my last essay which will hopefully be Wednesday 

+f, mutuals, favorites 

and um yeah that's basically it all you middle schoolers out there enjoy your research paper free life