#flipped the situation around to appreciating myself and that’s a very big feat and took a lot etc etc and i’m very comfortable w myself and

[acebytaemin]

hey let’s just have a little diary moment here no one needs to read this really but i wanna get it off my chest thank you 🫶🏻

[agentmanatee]

AOS 30 Day Challenge

Since I'm late to the party, I will be using this post to catch up.

Day 1: Favorite Season: S4 had the tightest story-telling with the pod structure. For a 22 episode season not to have a filler episode is quite a feat. Aida/Ophelia/Madame Hydra is my favorite Marvel - not just AOS - villian. Mallory Hansen's ability to play 4 different characters in one season in one show (sometimes multiple characters in the same scene) should have won her an Emmy hands-down. All of the cast should have won Emmy's for the performance in Self-Control (Everybody was on their A-game). My love for Robbie Reyes knows no bounds, and Gabriel Luna has mad chemistry with everyone (I pretty much ship Robbie with everybody he's not related to).

Day 3: Favorite story-line: Maveth. When I told my niece the story of FitzSimmons, she declared it "too much!" when I got to Maveth, specifically Hive and we stopped there. In a lot of ways it was the writers dipping their toes in adding more focus to Fitz and Simmons, who are portrayed by the show's strongest actors. I know a lot of people don't like the Will Daniels twist, but other than some hand-waveable plot holes, it really wasn't that bad. It was literally a "only two people on a planet" situation, and they thought that they would never see another human being again and that they were effectively dead to anyone on Earth; so their actions were understandable. Jemma didn't show interest in Will until she gave up seeing Fitz again, and Will initially did not act on his attraction because he respected and even appreciated Jemma's feelings for Fitz; he knew - even if Jemma didn't - that if given the opportunity to choose she would ultimately choose to Fitz ("No wonder Jemma loves you" was Hive channeling Will). If he survived and wasn't a villain I would ship him with either Joey or FitzSimmons (Fitz is canonically bi, Jemma deserves all the love, and the way Will talked about Fitz could be interpreted as romantic interest. He couldn't help falling for Fitz with the way Jemma talked about him), but I never submit prompt requests because I know how people feel about the character.

Also the planet of Maveth was a character unto itself, which is so cool. I really want to know what the light under its surface is; I don't but that it was a only heat source. Since sandstorms turned out not to be one of Hive's powers, Maveth or the cloaked figure (the personification of the planet a la Ego?) Jemma saw had to be the source of those. I suspect the civilization they saw evidence of were tied to the Confederation in season 5. Did they try to settle down and it backfired due to their culture? It very likely was how they knew there were Hydra leaders on Earth for them to manipulate. Will they ever confirm this? Doubtful. Finally, the mystery of Hive and what he was worked and exceeded expectations (his power set of terrifying!).

Day 2: Favorite episode: Inescapable. I was so excited for this episode I paid for it because Hulu was taking its time posting the episode. Of course a FitzSimmons episode would be amazing. The mind prison forced FitzSimmons to deal with issues they've avoided and together to boot. Seeing the turning point in their friendship at the academy and Coulson Recruiting them prior to season 1 was a hoot. I love how they revealed the other Fitz's death to him; he needed to see how the team mourned for him, to understand how much they loved him. Of course the whole scene was painful from him opening the bodybag to seeing the wedding ring to learning of Coulson's passing, but it was necessary and reflected how everything happens at once irl. Seeing their trust and loyalty in their bffs was heartening. And there is no doubt how much they are meant for eachother than when their darksides fall for and on eachother. They certainly learned some things there.

Honorable mention to Self-Control. That was the first episode I have ever purchased. It felt like a movie, and the story is insulated enough I think I may suggest it as the episode to watch when trying to get people to watch the show (either this or Orientation). The entire episode was so gripping I held a pillow to my chest the whole time once it was revealed that either Jemma or Fitz was an LMD. It was such a good Daisy and Jemma episode team-up and jump-started a whole arc of them supporting eachother. It was also a phenomenal Daisy episode. She showcased her powers, and Chloe knocked it out of the park. The scenes between May and Coulson's LMD-selves were so very moving. Ming did such a good job of portraying how May's LMD differed from the others. The episode also revealed what Fitz and Coulson would change if given a choice (not that AIDA gave Fitz such courtesy).

I just realized I switched Days 2 and 3, but don't want to bother with copying/pasting on my phone

Day 4: Favorite male character: Leopold James Fitz. Fitz was my favorite early on and hands-down my favorite character after FZZT. I saw myself in his mannerisms and could relate to his hesitancy to throw himself in the field but doing so because it is the right thing to do. His passion and loyalty to his friends is unparalleled. I also wanted to give Ward a chance. And it's interesting that Fitz was the first of the bus kids to understand how "No one is born evil." It took the Framework arc for Daisy to really understand that. He even has a leg up on Mack here since Mack's first instinct with anything alien is to kill it ("I'm the guy that kills Gordon" is not something someone who values all life, whether he views it as human or not.), which is understandable given his experiences. Fitz was the first person to show Daisy acceptance after terrigenesis, even if he was mistaken to hide it. I didn't realize it the time season 2 aired, but I get a similar aphasia during migraines (it's actually the first and last symptom when it happens). Seeing any appearance by the Doctor makes me feel sick to my stomach because I know how frightened and sick Fitz feels to have that as a part of himself. Fitz loves with his whole heart and he is always driven to do what he believes is the right thing, which is unfortunately what made the Doctor such a formidable villian. He also is always willing to give second chances but not third. He was the first person to joke around with Daisy after the Miles fiasco: he forgave Mack and Bobbi for the real Shield thing; he accepted Daisy back into the fold in seasons 2 & 4 despite how much her abandoning the team felt like betrayal; he formed a father-son relationship with Radcliffe after what he did for Hive; he trusted and befriended Enoch, knowing he kidnapped and sent his closest friends to a freakin future hellscape. Fitz is such a good person. Of course, all my love for Fitz doesn't mean I don't love the rest of Shield's men + Robbie Reyes.

Day 5: Favorite female character: Jemma Anne Simmons. Jemma is a close second for all around favorite (I just don't relate to her as much as Fitz). On a superficial note, Elizabeth Henstridge is so beautiful and hilarious, I have a giant girl crush on her (her smile is dang radiant). I love how they flipped gender stereotypes by making Fitz the emotional one who wears his heart on his sleeve and Jemma the practical one, who shoves her feelings in a box rather than express them. Jemma's cockiness is more real than Fitz's cocky front, too. I wish I had her confidence. Jemma also loves with her whole heart, as much as she has to hide it to function sometimes, and does what she believes is the right thing. She even revealed herself in the future dystopia because she could not stand aside when a stranger was hurt and she knew how to help/save him. Jemma jumped out of the Bus to save her team and jumped at a grenade to help them not thinking she would survive either occasion. She blamed Lash's murdering of inhumans on herself as she has the tendency to hold herself accountable for things that aren't her fault (she shares this trait with both Fitz and Daisy). She doesn't get lost exploring the details within the big picture, which is why she's so good at problem solving. She learned to kickass physically and has always done so mentally. She knows how to let her foes know to fear her. She has the self-awareness to know what traits she needs to work on to complete any mission. She does and would do anything for her team. She's also an incredible leader whether in the field, in the lab, or for the entirety of Shield. She is incredible.

Daisy Johnson is a very close second. And I can't rank May, Bobbi, and Elena. I also have girl crushes on all four of these ladies.

Day 6: Favorite relationship: S3 Shield Team (Coulson, May, Daisy, Fitz, Simmons, Mack, Bobbi, Hunter, Yoyo, Joey, Lincoln and Andrew). OK so I cheated here; we didn't even see everyone be in the same episode. So what? Season 3 had some of the best dynamics from the main team to Daisy's Secret Warriors it's no wonder people love season 3 so much. How can I pick just one? You have Coulson interacting with everyone (except for Joey), Lincoln's fear of May, Her mentorship of him, Fitz and Bobbi, Fitz and Hunter, FITZSIMMONS, Jemma and Andrew, Daisy and Mack, Mack and Huntingbird, MACKELENA, Doug, Fitz meeting his dad Holden Radcliffe, Radcliffe and Hive's "children"...Now I'm getting into characters that weren't on a Shield team. The characters and their relationships with eachother is what this show does best and what makes it such a good and beloved show, not the action or plot twists.

[artistcheez]

Why I Hate Blue Raspberry, an Autobiography

Y’know, I’ve always hated blue raspberry.

The taste, the color, the fact that it has no real relation to actual raspberries?

It’s just always thrown me off.

Tonight was a night like any other, ignoring a particularly ugly banana split and an explosive MnM glacier with a Kamikaze Pilot complex, and I had been doing well. I wasn’t a newbie at the fast food restaurant anymore, I had been working there since March, no small feat for a first job, and had long since learned my way around the store. Within a month or two of starting, I already had the lay of the land and my way around sweet treats and fries. I had most prices memorized and a good portion of how to make the more complex Delights.

Tonight was unusually rough, but I could handle myself, this was just another bump in my road that I was quickly leaping over in order to get my weekly paycheck.

Making ice cream, filling orders, cleaning tables and counters, just what I always do with a few minor hiccups.

A family, two daughters, mother, and father come in and I start taking their orders.

The oldest, is at the very oldest ten, and the youngest, at least six. The youngest is hopping around for blue ice cream

“Blue! Blue ice cream! Blue, blue, blue!”

She’s pointing at the dip cone selections next to me, at a picture of the blue raspberry dip cone, and jumping around.

Her father bends down to explain what it is, and she insists on having one.

She NEEDS one.

She’ll die if she can’t have one.

The father, as excited as her to watch me dip a cone in a vat of warm dipping chocolate, agrees and orders one for himself after ensuring she’d get her precious treat.

I write the family’s orders down and save the ice cream orders, charge them, and send the ticket to the back so that our fry cook could complete her end of the deal.

Let me tell you, blue raspberry and the general dislike of anyone under the age of twelve or not, I love making dip cones for kids. They are always so excited and think it’s the coolest shit ever and treat me like some kind of hero, and I live for that ego boost. So I asked my coworker to help me by making the Delights, another dessert I especially enjoy making, and prepare a cone for dipping.

All afternoon and evening, I had been making amazing dip cones.

Perfectly sized, evenly coated, and satisfying for customers to watch.

I’m still not confident, but I enjoy it enough to get a lot of practice, and it’s one of the few things I can assure will always come out perfect.

Earlier in the evening, I made a large cone and dipped it into a warm chocolate vat and managed to swipe a cup and put it under just before it broke off and handed it to the customer, shell unbroken but cone separated.

I blame the beautiful save for the ugly Banana Splits and explosive MnM Glacier from earlier in the shift.

And for what would happen next.

The little girl is scooped up by her father and he starts getting her hyped up. She’s practically exploding as I stir the blue raspberry and dip her beloved cone into the treasured candy coating. I lifted it and let it drip.

It was beautiful.

She gasped and started clapping, chanting “Blue ice cream, blue ice cream, blue, blue, blue!”

I flip it over and see the most disgusting thing ever.

A dead fly was crystalized onto the side of the unmarred blue surface that was quickly hardening against the icy surface of the cone.

I shout to her father over the glass divider that there is something wrong and that I need to get rid of the cone and the dip. He understands as I promise his daughter a fresh cone.

I lifted the tub from its metal steam chamber after hurriedly tossing the contaminated cone and quickly scurried to the back.

I soon found myself alone in the kitchen, this shift’s fry cook using the bathroom beside the walk-in freezer near the table I set the tub on. My floor coworker comes in and gets the details on the situation and grabs me a new tub, then heads out, already covering for me and heading to the front.

I dump the contaminated blue liquid into the sink and powerwash the candy stir, leaving the tub to stew in soapy water and artificial flavors.

I wheel around, a little panicked but prepared for the worst. I’ve been working this for months, I knew what I was doing. I wasn’t a swaggering veteran of the industry but I had more than proved myself with several long unplanned eight-hour shifts throughout my months working here.

I quickly spot the blue raspberry can on top of the walk-in freezer and bound over.

And then it slipped away from my fingers. 

Annoyed, I got on my tip toes, cursing the genetic lottery for dooming me to an eternity of almost being able to reach things.

I try again and again, determination rising in me.

And finally, I grabbed it.

Now, you see, dip cone topping is like a very fickle girlfriend.

Like a good quality jar of organic peanut butter, the oil and the goodies separate, and since this can had been opened before as evidenced by the strawberry tub lid recycled from the frozen fruits we use, would be greasy on the outside.

It was hard to properly serve and portion from the can, meaning it would be especially greasy on the outside.

No matter, it was in my grasp and ready to serve!

I grabbed it, and soon, the treasure was over my head and ready to be poured into a fresh tub to be served to a little girl with a frankly worrisome obsession with artificially flavored raspberry blue candy.

But before I could claim my prize and the ego boost of dipping a come in front of a toddler, it slipped.

It was so greasy, the can slipped through my hands and had spilled over most of me.

Just as the tidal wave of sticky, greasy, sugary blue goo washed over me, the fry cook opened the bathroom door right next to me and the doorbell went off.

The backroom is set up like so; front door, counter, walkway, walk-in, bathroom. 

And I was smack-dab in the middle of the front door and the bathroom just as two people, a customer and a coworker walked in on me covered in cheap candy.

The customer was a little old man and he blinked at me as I realized that my eye was filled with blue candy and that, no, that wasn’t a new dye job I’d paid nearly two hundred dollars for, that was a bucket of cheap dyes and preservatives. I turned, eyes wide, one with a big, gooey blob of blue staining my sclera and watering furiously. 

And the fry cook had just left the bathroom to see me grovel and gape with half the contents of a can of maybe-edible-but-still-not-actually-food all over myself.

I coughed into my mask dryly, awkwardly lumbering to a table to fill the tub in privacy, somehow slipping and catching myself in the oily mess on my short walk over.

As I did, she watched me over the order table, preparing my most loathsome specialty, covered in a slippery concoction of sugar and splattered ice cream from an MnM Glacier and two dozen perfectly blended chocolate milkshakes.

I sheepishly went back to the floor and rejoined my coworker and apologized for the wait to all involved as I redipped a new cone with shame, one I couldn’t appreciate the effort gone into after making it pretty and served it to the little girl who was just thrilled to even be in possession of blue ice cream.

The father said nothing, his face said nothing, but his eyes said all, and I later heard him telling his kid to finish the ice cream, especially after ‘all the trouble that poor lady went through to get you one’. My coworker pointed out that my right eyebrow was crunching and crackling as I passed a blasting AC vent later, and I washed my face in the tiny bathroom sink. Luckily, my eye had cleaned itself and if my glasses weren’t coated with a thicc layer of syrup, I would’ve had full vision.

I cleaned up my mess during a slow period, the eyes of the fry cook watching me from her station and punched out a few hours later after making sure everything was mopped and ready for tomorrow’s opening shift, most of my brain cells stained as blue as a Dum-Dum Pop lover’s tongue.

Greasy, stinky, and sticky, I walked in the dark down the street and to my house, unlocked the door, and took a very long, very hot shower in peace.

Days like this, I wonder how I ever managed to get a date.