#flidwy4

[ldydeath]

Feels Like I'll Die Without You Part 4 | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)

Summary: You’re tasked with covering one of Jiyong’s songs. Lots of old memories surface and you have to figure out what you want. Word Count: 2K Warnings: None Author’s Note: Here’s the next part of the series. Thank you to @aizshallnotbefound  for the prompt suggestion on this one. I have no answers for any of the questions you guys seek. Just know that I’m forever sorry. Part 5 will be better, maybe. The rest of the series can be found here.

You hadn’t been surprised when you woke up to find Jiyong and his team were gone. You’d expected it the second you’d invited him to your room. You knew you were being hot and cold with him and it wasn’t fair to him, but you didn’t know what you were supposed to do. You’d always be in love with him, but the truth was you two didn’t know each other anymore. You were both so far from those crazy kids you’d been when you’d met. What if you agreed to try now and he realized you weren’t his type anymore? That would be too embarrassing and now with a child on the way? You couldn’t afford to make it any more complicated than it already was. 

Your phone buzzed and you sighed as you read the text from your boss. They had a new cover they wanted you to perform, something from some super popular artist that fit your sound. They needed you to come in and record it so you could perform it later. You got out of bed, your eyes falling to the empty spot Jiyong had been hours ago and bit your lip as you made your way to the bathroom, rushing through your morning routine. 

You blinked as the song sheet was put in your hands, of fucking course. You couldn’t escape this guy if you tried, could you? You sat down, your hands instantly going to rub your temples as you tried to find a way out of covering this song. You let out a sigh, staring at the title IBELONGIIU staring at you as if mocking you. Your label was new, they didn’t know the history - thank god, and they didn’t know what Jiyong had whispered into your ear back in February, but damn your luck. You looked around, making sure nobody was around before pulling out your phone.

“Hey! You okay?” Jiyong’s face appeared on your phone, his brows furrowed into a frown as he noticed your face.

“They want me to cover your song.” You held up the sheet and Jiyong let out a snort. 

“I’d rather it be you than anyone else, Aein.” His voice was soft as he spoke, his eyes wide with amusement. 

“Are you sure?” You put the paper down letting out a sigh. 

“Yes.” He turned his head, letting out a sigh before facing the screen again. “We’re pulling up to the stadium for rehearsals. Please call me if you need anything, ok?” 

“Okay, good luck.” You ended the call, putting your phone down. 

With a small sigh, you put on the headphones, making yourself comfortable in the chair. Signaling to the team in the booth that you were ready, you took a couple deep breaths. You still weren’t sure how you were going to pull this one off, but you owed it to Jiyong to not fuck up his song the way you’d been fucking with his heart. The music started and you closed your eyes, swaying along to the beat. 

You felt like an imposter, singing this song. Why couldn’t it have been anything else? The lyrics felt too raw for you to be singing them. This is how he’d felt about you and here you were, singing them as if they meant nothing. Your slowed down version bringing back memories, some old, some from the way you’d felt the night before, being held tightly in his arms. He owed you nothing for the way you’d been acting - for the way you’d told him you were pregnant, and he still held you like his life had depended on it. 

He deserved better than how you’d been treating him lately. Tears pricked at your eyes as you continued the song and you took a breath, looking up at the tiny crowd in the booth opposite you. Shaking your head, you ripped the headphones off and grabbed your things. You couldn’t do this. You needed to talk to Jiyong, you needed to apologize, tell him how you really felt, hope there was room in his heart for you. Without saying a word you stormed out of the studio. 

You didn’t even realize where you were going until your butt was on a plane seat and you were staring at an aerial view of your flight path to Korea. You’d be landing just in time for his show and you knew better than to talk to him beforehand. He needed to focus on him and his fans - not you. Flying to Korea in your first trimester might not have been the best idea, the nausea set in shortly after take off and by the time you’d landed you weren’t sure you could trust your wobbly legs to get you from the seat to the exit. 

You managed though, grabbing a bite to eat from your favorite spot in town before heading towards the venue. You were going to have to pull off a miracle to get in, you weren’t exactly on the list of celeb’s coming out that night, nor did you have a ticket. As the car pulled up to the venue you swallowed down the rest of the noodles you’d been holding onto and sent a text to a familiar number. 

Hey YB. Need you to find a way to get me in tonight.

I’m not there tonight but I’ll see what I can do. Sit tight.

A few minutes later he sent a thumbs up and you took a minute, steading yourself as you got out of the car. The sound of Jiyong’s voice filled the air and you silently thanked whatever god would listen that his show had already started. You slipped backstage completely unnoticed, the last thing you needed was someone spotting you and igniting anymore rumors about you and Jiyong. There was no you and Jiyong, you didn’t think there ever would be. That didn’t mean he didn’t deserve an apology for the way you’d been treating him since you’d ran into him. 

Security escorted you to his sitting room and you made yourself at home, watching the show on a small screen, a small smile on your face. For someone who had taken such a long break, he hadn’t missed a beat. It was weird being at a G-Dragon show after all this time, even more weird that he didn’t know you were here. He’d find out soon. You watched as the show came to an end and you exhaled slowly, moving ever so slightly in your seat, bracing yourself for him and his team to enter the room. The door opened and Jiyong walked in, a towel on his head, he froze as he saw you.

“Hi.” You croaked out. Jiyong blinked, stepping into the room and closing the door on his team.

“What are you doing here?” He moved to walk over to you but stopped, grounding himself by the door. 

“I needed to see you.” 

Jiyong smirked at your words and was in front of you in a second, his lips crashing down on yours. You gasped, your arms wrapping around him as he pulled you closer. You let yourself get carried away, parting your lips to deepen the kiss. There was just something about Jiyong that let all common sense go out the window, you couldn’t help yourself when you were around him. But as you felt him walk you backwards to the couch you move your hands from around his neck and to his chest, stopping him. 

“Ji.” You whispered against his lips as you pulled back. “We can’t.” He pulled back instantly, creating as much space as he possibly could. 

“Okay.” He nodded, you could tell he was confused. 

“I’m sorry, Ji. For how I told you I was pregnant, and for making it seem like I didn’t want you involved in our lives. Of course I do. I just, I don’t think it's a good idea for us to get involved as more than just friends.” You bit your lip as you looked up at him.

Jiyong frowned as you spoke. He’d been expecting this, hell he’d been asking for this. Now at least he knew where you stood. He’d be there for you however you needed him to be, but if you really didn’t want to be more than friends with him he wasn’t going to beg anymore. He’d find a way to move on. He blinked a few times, composing himself. 

“You didn’t have to fly here to tell me that.” He smiled but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “If you just want to be friends, that’s fine with me. Where are you staying tonight?” 

“I uh ...didn't think that far ahead.” Jiyong smirked. 

“You can stay with me, for as long as you need. Come on, I need sleep. Have a big day tomorrow.” 

You blinked, following him out of the room. You hadn’t been expecting him to be so okay with this. Or to invite you to stay at his place. The walk to his awaiting car was silent, as was the drive to his apartment. Both of you were not really sure what to say as you made your way through town. Maybe there was nothing else left to say. 

Jiyong led you through the garage and to the elevator, swiping a card to go directly to the penthouse. You’d heard about his luxury home but had never been here in person, him having bought it well after you’d stopped talking. It was impressive and maybe a little intimidating. He led you through the place, stopping outside one of the guest rooms. 

“I’m just down the hall if you need anything.” He smiled at you, that same fake smile from the venue and opened the door.

Your arm reached out grabbing his arm, pulling him towards you and without thinking you leaned up, kissing him. He responded immediately, pulling you closer, kissing you hungrily.  You walked backwards into the room, Jiyong lowering you carefully onto the bed, his body hovering over yours as he kissed down your jaw, towards your neck. You let your head fall back, catching your breath. His hands roamed up your body, making quick work to remove your shirt. His lips on your collarbone, trailing down to your breasts and you sucked in a breath, moving your hand to his face and pulling him back up as you came to your senses. 

“Ji, we can’t.” You pleaded, pushing yourself to sit up.

“Why not? What are you so scared of?” His voice was laced with sadness, his eyes staring into your eyes so intently you had to look away.

“We’re not good together.” He let out a sigh, his hand under your chin, moving your face so that you were looking at him.

“You’re remembering who we used to be. We’re not those people anymore. The universe keeps throwing us together, I think we should take that as a sign.” 

“I can’t Ji, I’m sorry.”  He nodded and with a sigh moved off the bed, fixing his shirt as he made his way to the door. “Where are you going?”

“I can’t stay here. I can’t hold you like we’re just friends when I’m so in love with you it’s driving me crazy. Ever since that damn night I can’t get you out of my head and if you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. But I can’t pretend everything is fine when it’s killing me not being with you.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond as he opened the door and walked out. 

Jiyong hadn’t been good about not crossing boundaries with you, but he was going to have to get better at it if he was going to survive this. He’d told you how he felt, the ball was in your court. Jiyong was done trying. If you wanted a friend, a friend you’d have, but he couldn’t toy that line with you anymore. He’d focus all his energy into being the best father for his baby and a good friend for you, until you were ready for him.

tag list: @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @loveesiren @gdinthehouseee @tulentiy @petersasteria @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @mirahyun @breakmeoff @1950schick @sherrayyyyy