#fleechin writes

[fleechin]

A Day at the Shop

Here's my Portal Secret Santa 2022 for @genericdragon, she said she really likes cores, especially fan made ones, so I decided to make a thing about Virgil. I have a bunch of headcanons about Rick and Craig, so I incorporated them into this as well. Finally I had to add Ego core too, since she mentioned him a few times.

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Virgil stretched his handles. 

Not really for any useful reason, to be truthful. They hadn’t been rusted over, and stretching them wouldn’t have fixed that anyway. He remembered hearing somewhere that in humans, stretching was a good way of moving around muscle fibers and keeping joints flexible. That might have been applicable here, but the only way cores could increase their handle flexibility was with some grease, and maybe a motor upgrade. Stretching would probably just wear out the hinge.

No, Virgil was stretching because he was tired. It didn’t make much sense, but that was the modus operandi aperturae . Aperture’s way of doing things. More specifically, Aperture would design robots with humans in mind, so much so that when they acted like robots instead of humans, it was seen as a failure. It was why cores could yawn and shiver, despite not having any need for either function. Fortunately, they had been decent enough to program a sense of humor into some of the robots. Un fortunately, Virgil did not appear to be one of them.

Looking up at the clock, Virgil sighed. 2:00 AM. Cores didn’t really need to sleep, at least not for more than 10 minutes while their CPU cooled down and their drivers updated. But Virgil really felt like he could use a long human nap. Usually a visit to the enCORE Club or some TV with Craig would do the job. But it didn’t make the shift any easier.

The testing bots had been particularly obnoxious, according to Her. Not only did they decide to destroy each other a record breaking 11 times in one test chamber, one of the Oranges got caught in the gears of a crusher mechanism, jamming a gear and blowing out part of the test chamber. And it was one of Her favorites too. Then came Glitchy, Caroline bless him , who had his eye fall out at random, and then blew up right after. In his workshop. So that was fun.

He’d almost gone up with Mel. At times he wished he had. Maybe he could have seen what was out there. Whether all those rumors were true. He’d built a rig that made cores able to fly, like a helicopter, but hadn’t tested it much. Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to actually go with her. Maybe it was nervousness, maybe he was afraid of burdening her. Whatever it was, he hoped that she was okay.

But griping about it wouldn’t fix anything. And besides, Virgil enjoyed what he did, if for no other reason than that he was programmed to. And with that stretch-and-ponder out of the way, he went and looked over at his next client. 

 This core had seen better days. Its eye was open, but its optic was deactivated. Its lower handle was disconnected on one of its hinges, leaving it hanging by a thread. One of its main hull pieces - that was the best non-technical term the scientists had a chance to come up with before getting gassed - had come loose. 

It looked beyond repair. But as far as Virgil was concerned, looks meant nothing. Well, except for when they did. First order of business was to hook it up to an external power supply. After finding the right socket, Virgil flipped the switch on the external battery pack. Before long, the seemingly deceased core began to move.

Virgil was usually a little bit excited to guess what color and pattern the optic would be if the core in question was unpainted and deactivated. There were occasionally little details that would help him figure out before he actually saw, but even he had been wrong before. Besides, it put a little joy into seeing what was effectively a corpse of himself. This time around, however, Virgil let out a groan as the optic flashed green, and displayed a square grid pattern with a decidedly large black rectangle in the middle.

“iIIIIIiiIIi Dint MEEeANta LAuch YA I SWEaR!” The core finally finished whatever he had meant to say before deactivating. “Oh shoot, I’m back here. How’s it hangin’ doc?”

Virgil sighed. “Hello… Rick. How have you been?”

“Shoot, I’ve been good. Been a while, ain’t it?” 

“It’s been… two days. Which, for you, is a lot, yes.”

“Ain’t that the truth. Anyway, you able to fix me up?”

“Wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t.” Virgil’s optic reset to default, and began spinning. “There we go, you won’t feel a thing.”

Virgil paused for a second. He hated to pry, but knowing Rick, he just had to know what led him here every time. “So… what kind of adventures have you had recently?”

“Shoot, I don’t remember much, but Pinkie and I did stop by the club a while back. Saw my ex Lydia there. Next I remember, I was singin’ along the tunes and then I wake up here.”

Virgil’s upper eyelid plate lowered. “Uh-huh, and how about you…. ‘Pinkie’?” He looked upwards towards the adventure sphere’s pink eyed companion turned documentary filmmaker, who had been noticeably silent until now. 

Without moving his optic, the fact sphere replied, “The adventure sphere received several hits of Volt Supreme™ at the enCORE club, and tried to improvise an unsolicited solo during one of Loose-Screws Louis’ songs. After being kicked out, he spotted his fifth ex-partner, Avery, who he mistook for his seventh ex-partner, Lydia, despite multiple attempts at correcting him. In an attempt to show off his “rail spinning” skills, he collided into Avery, incapacitating both cores.”

Virgil sighed. That explained the similarly damaged red painted core next to him. So much for an easy break. “You know, Rick, I wonder if maybe you should take a different approach to dating. Not much of a point of having partners if they keep dumping you, y’know?”

“I mean, I guess you ain’t wrong, but a lil’ somethin’ new is always fun. ‘Sides, I can flirt just fine. Speakin’ of, how’s ol’ Rainy?”

Virgil’s lower eyelid plate raised, and he chuckled nervously. “Ah, haha, yes. Uh, Rainbow Core and I are doing well. He touched up my paint job the other day.”

“Shoot, ain’t that something. Still though, you guys got it easy. It’s tough when you’re designed for danger.”

“Whatever you say, Rick.” Before Rick could elaborate any further, another voice from the shop entrance chimed in, “Indeed, dating is never an easy thing. You never quite find a partner that’s as good as you are.”

Virgil looked over, only to see a purple eyed core wearing a large button. He sighed audibly. “What’s the issue today, Onathan?”

“Oh, it’s pretty serious if I do say so myself. Take a look at my button.”

Virgil squinted. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

“Isn’t it obvious? There’s a smidge of oil on the left side. It’s blocking the number sign, this is a major identity crisis! How will other cores know I’m number one?!”

Virgil sighed again, and briefly reflected on the irony of how often he did it despite not having lungs. “For Caroline’s sake… seriously, Onathan? Just wash it off. Find a tap or something. Geez.” Onathan pulled back and slid out of the door, nervously mumbling to himself.

Pulling back, Virgil then looked over at the adventure sphere. “Looks like you’re all set and ready to go. And, just a tip, maybe go easy on the volt shots. I’m sure you don’t want to have to see Chuck about railing while intoxicated again.”

Rick tilted his optic. “Eh, I ain’t afraid of him. But actually, I gotta go see Ray about another adventure course I’m buildin’, so see ya.” The management rail connector lowered and attached itself to Rick, who sped off past Onathan, out of the repair wing.

Virgil looked down at Avery’s hull, and back up at Craig. “I think after this last one, I’m gonna take a break. You interested?”

“Usually the adventure sphere spends several hours with the testing core at a time. In other words, I think I’ll be free for a while.”

“Perfect. You have no idea how long I’ve needed this. Oh, and by the way, remind me to tune you up whenever you start working on that next episode of your documentary.”