#flatulants

[facts-i-just-made-up]

The average human farts in their sleep 1,000 times per minute. Failure to do so would result in waking up with the size, shape, and explosivity of the Hindenburg.

[dduane]

At first glance I thought maybe these were a joke. But they’re not!

Which is very cool!

Apparently anti-flatulence-odor wear is a real thing. More details here.

[crispylive]

"I'm done with that fart. You want that?"

-Bondi (Tyler Mane)

[watcher201109]

May I cook?

Imagine: You run a small all-women business advertisement company, and after a few tense years of starting up during Covid, you finally have a small office space for yourself and your small group of employees. A few months go by and things are going great, but you kept to yourself that you won a lottery recently and chose to keep your winnings anonymous. You begin a pattern of surprising your employees with catered lunches, rewarding them here and there for their hard work... Then the occasions started becoming more frequent without you ever announcing it. Using the client list of local restaurant owners, you pull owed favors and make orders to ensure the cuisine variety keeps your employees from noticing the uptick.

Bodies softened within a few months, assisted by the sedentary job ensuring your girls were only active outside of their 40-hour weeks. Shirts began being unbuttoned at the cleavage, rumps were filling out pencil skirts and slacks, and belts were either loosened if not abandoned altogether. Catching a cutie tugging at their clothing when they think no one's looking was adorable, but nowhere near as hot as catching them dealing with post-lunch gas. The food catered was from different cultured restaurants, and you'd sometimes troll them by getting things that tuckered them out like soul food or comfort food. 'Excuse me's' and relieved sighs would fill the office after rumbly burps or chair-vibrating farts, each girl providing their own brand of stench to the office air. ... Oh you cannot wait to surprise them for the company Thanksgiving dinner before the break, and you've been thinking of paying out a bar and grill plus transportation for the Christmas party too...

[crispyafterdark]

B.O. Bot shows Sand Crawler who's the king of his ring with his B.O. and his foul flatulence!

[mandy-mayhem]

Happy Halloween! Sorry for the late post, I was busy.

[portmantofu]

MANswers: Can Your Farts Save Your Buddy From Drowning?

[correllian]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was informed by my boyfriend that I have an unusual fart pattern when I sleep, and that just like sleep apnea, it is very dangerous and scary.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What is the most overlooked source of particle pollution in cities?

Sorry that was me. Fuckin' Cheesy-Prunes.

[be4fra1d]

Had to really push this one out, but it was definitely worth it. Here’s a short wet one, enjoy!

[hailkingcheeto]

[ask--eggman]

You remind me of Wario. I think it's just the mustache and nose that reminds me-

I've noticed the similarities. We're both fat, both have big pink noses, both strong - though I'm definitely stronger, we're both bikers, and most interestingly we've even both used our... flatulence, as a form of attack.

Which I absolutely didn't copy him with, by the way. Pure coincidence. I just had to let it rip during a race after eating lunch a little too close before and my gut started acting up, realized it was very effectively stunning to those around me, then started using it to my advantage.

And sure, the mustaches are similar too I guess. But mine looks way bigger, fluffier and better, it can't be matched! Plus, I'm much taller and much more handsome, if we're doing full body comparisons.

Alas, despite anything we might have in common, the times we interacted didn't go so well. Probably partly due to the fact that I tricked him, but... He should just get over it!

[kidcharlemagnex6]

Stan and Kyle Need More Fart Scenes!

This is going to be a very unusual thing to point out, but I just wanted to point out something regarding Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski: for how much they supposedly love flatulence humor, there has been a dearth of scenes showing either of them passing gas at all, let alone entertaining themselves with it. In the show's early days, a simple fart from one of them was more than enough to send them both into hysterics. Now, it seems to have been years since either one of them last had a fart scene.

Right off the bat, some of you might be thinking, "but they still watch Terrence & Phillip." To be honest, I don't think that really means anything. "Terrence & Phillip" has been established as the one TV show that every man in the world seems to love (which, when you think about it, kind of undermines the show's "pro-individualism" pretense), so that, to me, is about the same as saying "people sit in chairs." Stan and Kyle, on the other hand, seem like the kind of boys who not only shamelessly fart around each other, but also treat fart jokes as a cornerstone of their friendship; I even sometimes like to imagine that they use their phones to record their farts and send them to each other.

Another counterargument might be, "but they're more mature than they used to be." First off, they were eight years old at the start of the series and are ten years old now; 2 years is not a wide enough gap of time for their personalities to change so radically. Secondly, I don't think that would factor too much into it. I've read several posts on Reddit written by Redditors who still laugh at farts well into their adulthoods. Each of those posts have one major thesis that they share: the mere act of laughing at farts isn't inherently immature or offensive. As several of those posts have pointed out, farting is a natural bodily function that happens to all of us. What really matters is time and place; the posts rightfully pointed out that there are plenty of events or situations where farting to get a laugh isn't appropriate at all, then go on to explain that the immature part is not understanding or caring about the "time and place" part. As long as the fart jokes are kept between friends or family in a non-formal setting, then you can laugh at farts all you want, as long as you understand that it's not appropriate for every situation.

That's the point I wanted to raise with Stan and Kyle specifically. They're both good kids who are much smarter and more mature for their ages then they might seem at first. However, I think fart jokes should be reincorporated into their schticks as a subtle way of displaying this. They know and accept that farting in public isn't appropriate, and they know and accept that not everyone they meet is going to share their viewpoint (when was the last time Stan tried to make a fart joke around Wendy?), unlike Cartman, who definitely lacks that level of maturity (or any level for that matter). But when Stan and Kyle get some time alone, they should be allowed to fart and laugh as much as they want. I want to see them have fart contests, pull each other's fingers, make fake fart sounds, sit on whoopee cushions, watch fart videos, smell each other's farts, light each other's farts, eat foods that will make them fart, make all sorts of fart puns, and fart on each other to their hearts' content, laughing like madmen all the while. This might all sound creepy to some of you, but I think this would be a nice and subtle way to show that Stan and Kyle aren't immature, just not conformists.

'Nuff said.

[crispyafterdark]

Carl's massive fart in the brand new Aqua Teen Hunger Force's "A Quiet Shake."

[watcher201109]

I sometimes find images and just edit Snapchat captions to them.

In case you can't read the caption: "Pov: You ate at Ricky’s Diner for the first time in years since you were little, and realized why you never went as an adult. “Our Chili is underrated, and goes great with our brisket sandwich,” they said… For the first time in my life, I’ve clogged two toilets in one day(guess which ones lol), one of the fastest dishes I’ve had go through me like that. The third stall is safe, but this whole bathroom is rank, and the worst part is I’m not even completely empty either… I’ve been farting, non-stop, for the last 10 minutes of what I can easily say is the worst gas I’ve ever had. I still feel bloated, but  I’m gonna dip now before someone catches me in here, I’ll deal with farting up my car. But yeah, avoid Ricky’s."