#five more minutes was like mid/late october i think

[gingerbreadmonsters]

tag game - first ten lines

big thank you to the wonderful @frenchiefitzhere @starlitangels and @zozo-01 for the tags - apologies for my tardiness 💕💕 wait, was five more minutes only ten fics ago? bloody hell i’ve been slacking!! uh, i think you can probably tell that i like to start in media res - and also that all the good stuff happens in the second line, bc these are all kind of short... [head in hands] no idea who's been tagged already, but go on @lovelylonerliterature @sealriously-sealrious @friendlyfaded @autisticempathydaemon @calicostorms let's see what you've got!! 👀👀

-

stupid cupid (tumblr / ao3)

“Well. Fancy seeing you here, hmm?”

oops-a-daisy (tumblr / ao3)

Oh, this is bad.

wrapped up in clover (tumblr / ao3)

We’re happy together.

original sin (tumblr / ao3)

“Come back safe, darlin’.”

blood sugar, baby! (tumblr / ao3)

“Time to wake up, little one.”

here we are in heaven (tumblr / ao3)

To tell the truth, David Shaw has never really thought of himself as lucky.

return to me (tumblr / ao3)

There are very few beautiful things in the world, anymore.

you’re the cat’s meow! (tumblr / ao3)

“What have you done to it?”

bury the hatchet (tumblr / ao3)

It takes surprisingly little force to smash a vampire’s skull, when you really think about it.

five more minutes (tumblr / ao3)

Magic, they say, is simply the next step after emotion.

and, as a special treat - maybe an opening line or two that you haven't seen before...?? because i just can’t help myself hehe 😇😇

[likeadevils]

which albums do you think took the shortest amount of time to put together? i think that evermore was very quick (only two or three months?), am i right in thinking that lover and folklore were pretty quick too?

evermore was super quick! there were about five songs written from october-december, but about 12 songs were written in about a month, between mid august and mid september. which is just crazy. like that’s more songs than the standard edition of debut like that’s insane

the bulk of folklore was written in two months, between may and june, though the jack songs were mostly written between march and april, with some pre pandemic songs (my tears in dec 2019 and trying in jan/feb 2020)

midnights was a bit more spread out— high infidelity and would’ve could’ve should’ve were written in march 2021, i believe bigger than the whole sky and snow on the beach were in early 2022– but still the bulk of it came together in november/december 2021, making it a year in total but mostly done in two months.

rep took almost exactly a year— she starts writing it in september 2016 and finishes in september 2017. the bulk of the album was likely finished by july 2017 though, so it goes was just a super last minute addition.

lover was recorded in about four months— the bulk of the album was between november 2018 and february 2019. there are some exceptions, like death by a thousand cuts in late april and likely london boy in early june, and maybe a few jack songs throughout 2018, but we don’t know for sure which. she was also probably stockpiling songs a bit before jumping into the studio, but we don’t know for sure.

1989 was another stockpiling album— she did this love in 2012, a couple songs jan 2013, and then that aforementioned stockpiling period while she’s on tour, and then a big rush in oct/nov 2013, and then another rush in jan/feb 2014. it sounds like now that we don’t talk came fairly late in the process though, possibly as late as fall 2014, which would make it a two year long writing period, but as far as the original album goes, about a year and a half.

red was also about a year and a half— we have all too well being finalized in march 2011 (after being started in dec 2010), and then 22 and i knew you were trouble in june 2012. there are probably some outliers— stay stay stay might’ve been as early as summer 2010, some stuff on the vault might’ve gone up until september 2012– but that’s at most about two years of consistent writing and recording.

if we’re counting sparks fly (halloween 2006) then it took four years to write speak now, but excluding sparks fly georg the earliest song we know for sure was if this was a movie in april 2009, and then it ended with the story of us in june 2010, which is a little over a year. she was likely writing songs for speak now earlier in 2009 though, making it her standard year and a half, but we just don’t know for sure. the recording process was also spread out throughout both years— the first session for the album was in march 2009, and the orchestra sections were the last thing recorded, in july 2010.

fearless had two big recording sessions, in december 2007 and march 2008, so recording wise the album came together super quickly. that being said, if we just take the first and last songs written for the album, fearless has a pretty big stretch— she had stuff from the vault from like 2005, and then come in with the rain in september 2006, and white horse in december 2006. and then the last song is similarly up for interpretation, with forever and always in late september 2008, and mr perfectly fine in march 2009. so even though it came together very quickly once she got in the studio, counting the vault it was four years to write it, making it one of the longest timeframes, but standard edition is still a fairly long two years.

and then debut! i’m a bit more hazy on debut’s timeline, but a perfectly good heart was written sometime in 2003, and should’ve said no was the last thing written and recorded, on august 10, 2006, making it about three years.

so it’s pretty much an exercise in counting— the earlier and album came in her career, the longer it took her to make it, until we get to post pandemic where she’s busting out almost complete albums in two month periods (ts11 looks like it’s bucking that trend though, so let’s see!!)

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

It's been a while! Let's see...

I finished my BA in Language Studies with English and German with the Open University (part time distance learning) and achieved a first class honours! I've been kind of playing it down and thinking of it as not a huge deal, partly because I've got this internalised sense that you don't brag about your achievements, nobody likes a know-it-all, being intelligent/academic is not the done thing, which dates back to my schooldays (which are over 30 years ago at this point what the hell), but actually...look, I was a solid 64% achiever throughout my initial academic career at 18-24, and I thought that was all I was capable of, but if I've calculated it correctly (not entirely certain, maths is still not my strong point) I think my overall score for this one has been 94% which...holy crap, you guys. Nobody is more surprised by this than me. I think it's a combination of 30 years' extra maturity plus they actually tell you what they want you to do these days, but...wait, I'm playing it down again, aren't I? Anyway. On to the Masters in Applied Linguistics!

Which starts in October, but the course website opens next Wednesday so the plan is to get in there and try and get ahead. Whether I'll actually manage that is up for debate, but I do rather want to try and do at least some of it early, especially because...

I am going to be spending eleven days in Helsinki in mid-late October because Japa from Private Line's new band is playing a show on the 19th, Private Line are playing a show on the 26th, and my absolute hero Michael Monroe has announced a solo acoustic show on the 25th which it would be rude not to attend, since it's a 5-minute walk from my hotel XD I'd already booked to be there from the 18th to the 28th so I could see Japa and PL because I have loved them inordinately since 2006, so when MM announced his solo acoustic tour of Finland beginning in August and ending in October and I realised one of the last dates was while I was already going to be in Helsinki, well. :D :D :D I am super excited, I have a spreadsheet with museums and opening times and days and hopefully I'll be spending a day in Tampere and a day in Turku running round museums as well as all the Helsinki museums, some of which I've already visited several times and am excited to revisit, and some of which I've never been to before. I am looking forward to this SO MUCH YOU GUYS OMG.

And then, when I get back, rather than coming straight home, I will be spending three days in London with the utterly glorious @lemurious who is spending a couple of weeks this side of the pond! I cannot WAIT. We are going to run round London looking at museums and Roman stuff and eating food and drinking beer and nerding out about Tolkien and history and EVERYTHING and it is going to be AWESOME. aaaaAAAAAAAA!

TRSB reveals are in less than an hour! My fic is here, the art by the lovely @erathene, who I am delighted to have got to know this summer, is also here, and I am so excited for everyone to finally get to read a story from Tilda's point of view, after her spending so long on the sidelines of Empty Vessel-'verse! Tilda herself was super excited to finally get to talk properly, as evidenced by the fact that the fic is 46k long (oh GOD) and I've already had to begin the sequel because there wasn't enough space (or time XD ) in the story for everything that needed to happen! She is still going, and will be for some considerable time, and it is such a joy to finally have her unleashed! Those of you who are already familiar with the concept of the Tilda Warning will understand that it very much applies to this fic XD

@sigrielweek is in a month! The eternally awesome @seagull-energy has very kindly done some beautiful art for the header and icon, and I am percolating prompts/themes this weekend (if you have some please sling them my way, you all know I am not at home to the idea fairy at the best of times XDDDD ), and the event will be running between 7-13 October, to coincide with the Battle of the Five Armies on the 10th (following on from Smaug's attack on Lake-town on the 1st)...

Innumerable Stars assignments are out and I am super excited by mine! I can say no more at this point but it's going to be huge fun :D :D :D

Oh! I finished Writers' Month as well as TRSB! The masterpost is here, and I'm rather enjoying re-reading the fics I had to bang out without having time to read them again, at a rather more leisurely pace.

I had a very successful meeting at job number two yesterday to finally kickstart a project my predecessor dropped in my lap having got the relevant people interested and raring to go, without having actually done the doings as to practicalities like funding, and who might actually do the work, and how it all might function. I (not a natural project manager) took fright and immediately shoved it onto the backest of back-burners while I got my feet under me, and only this year have begun to feel as though I might be ready to start exploring how it might work. I am not an academic, unlike my predecessor, at least not in this subject area, and I am very intimidated by everyone else's knowledge, but I have two absolutely fantastic volunteers who are very keen to be involved, and between them they've been coaxing me back towards it. I had a very useful online meeting with the two academics who were interested earlier in the year, and yesterday they came to see us and talk about it some more. Much to my relief, they will sort out the funding, the people to do it, the actual doing of the doings, my volunteers will do the photography (it's a catalogue of the medieval (and possibly later) seals attached to the documents I look after, of which there are at least 3000; I know nothing about seals, we're not really taught about them when we learn to be archivists, they're kind of treated as an adjunct to the "important stuff" which is how to read and interpret the documents they're attached to, so I am massively out of my depth but the academics are awesome and are so excited to get started, I showed them a tiny fraction of the stuff and they were nerding out in a delightfully knowledgeable and also recognisable manner, so I feel much more as though I am among my people, even if we know about different things XD there is so much to learn and find out and I am so excited for them to get started)

We hired a skip last week and emptied out the junkyard that the garden had turned into, plus a certain amount of stuff we didn't need from the loft, got rid of loads of cardboard boxes we didn't need, and generally the house feels a lot better as a result. There are still several boxes of stuff that need to go to the charity warehouse which I have not managed to sort out doing yet, but they're in the corner of the living room and ready to go. Weight off the mind, I swear.

Also I have dismantled the old swingseat and treated myself to a double egg chair which is so much more comfortable. It was in the sale (bonus) and although I probably won't get to use it again this summer it's there (covered up, it came with a cover, so it's protected from the elements) and I can get back out there on it as soon as the weather perks back up again next year. :D :D :D

I (with the missus' capable assistance) redyed my hair last Friday and it is now a delightful confection of sunset colours - orange at the roots, then purple, then pink on the ends. I took some selfies last weekend so there may be a gpoy post if I can work myself up to doing it XD

I'm in the pub right now with a nice beer and the laptop, writing (working on the sequel to the TRSB fic) and generally chilling out and having a lovely evening. The music is 1960s girl groups/Wall of Sound, which is one of my favourite things, and it is delightful.

I think that's more than enough for now. :D :D :D As always, if anyone feels like this exercise might benefit them, do feel free to take it and run with it! Five good things about your day/week/month/year/life, however big or small, and if there are more than five then keep going! Writing it down makes me realise and appreciate it all so much more than I do if it's all just drifting by.

[greenbagjosh]

Епізод трі (3) Недели 11 Октябр 2009

Привет всем, сегодня мы идем в Лавру, к памятнику Родины и в Бабин Яр. Возможно, мы также получим железнодорожный пропуск в Минск.

Hi everyone, did you survive yesterday’s (10 October 2009) walk through Kiev? Today (11 October 2009) we may not need to do as much walking. We likely will be using public transit more than the previous two days. Which means we have to buy single fare tickets and blue chips.

The plan for Sunday the 11th of October 2009, was to visit the Lavra towards the west bank of the Dnieper, a bit south of where we went walking, then visit the Motherland Monument, the monument to the victims of WWII and maybe do some walking along Vulitsa Kreshchatyk and maybe find the location of the Bierstube that I read so much about (the actual address was previously mentioned). The day was mostly rainy, and the temperatures were about the mid 40s, so 6 to 8 degrees Celsius.

Sundays the restaurant next to the hostel was closed, so I had to find somewhere to eat on the way to the Lavra. Where is the Lavra? It is south of the metro station Arsenal’na, which was in 2009 the deepest metro station at about 700 feet below the street surface (gasp!) You would need two sets of escalators to get from the street to the station platform. At Arsenal’na, you would need to catch the bus line 24 to the Lavra entrance.

The first order of business was to try to buy a train ticket from Kyiv Passazhirsky to Minsk. Preferably I would want it for Monday evening on the 12th, so that I could take a direct night train. So I had to take the trolleybus from Vulitsa Poltavska Publichna biblioteka imeni Lesi Ukrainky to Teatral’na, and take the red line metro to Vokzal’na / Passazhirsky. For the long distance train office, you have to exit the metro station, walk to the northern end of the station, walk through the long hall with the little travel boutiques and such, then the office is at the south end. The people do not speak English well enough to be understood, so I had to rely on another customer who knew English – and he did not ask for any payment in return. I wanted to get a “Platskartniy” ticket from Kiev to Minsk for the 12th October, but they said that there were no more spaces. Also they took only cash as the credit card system was down. Otherwise I might have considered to pay extra for “Kupeniy” class. They had an opening for Tuesday morning at 11 AM, go west in the direction of L’viv, change at Korosten, and arrive Wednesday the 14th in Minsk about 5 AM. I accepted that offer.

I had to call the hotel in Minsk but I did not have a cellphone of my own at the time. In that case, I would need to buy a telephone card for a “taksofon” / таксофон, which is Russian for payphone. I called the hotel in Minsk, and luckily someone was able to speak in German to understand my situation. They were fine, that I would arrive a day later than originally planned, and my Belarus visa would not be affected in any way. I would receive a refund on the credit card that I prepaid the hotel’s stay. Then as a joke, after I ended that call, I called my home phone and left a message as if I were Borat. Yes, that same journalist who greets with “Yagshemash!”.

Well it was time for a late breakfast, as it was getting around 9:30 AM. I took the red line metro to Arsenal’na. I think it took about five minutes on both escalators. The first one went parallel to the station platforms for maybe 350 feet. Then I had to turn right for the second escalator to go up a further 350 feet. Imagine having to climb stairs if the escalators went out of service! There was a café just outside the Arsenal’na called the “Kav’yarnya” that had a decent food offering. It was not exactly the usual food I would eat for breakfast, but it was filling. For example a potato salad with peas. The coffee was fine. About 10:30 I took the bus 24 to the Lavra, passing the Monument to the Unknown Soldier. The Lavra is a campus of chapels and galleries. To take photographs inside, you have to pay about 100 Hryvnia for a day permit.

Inside the Lavra are three churches, the bell tower, and a gazebo with a huge layered stone. Inside the galleries looked nicer than the churches considering the weather, but I have recently seen Google Maps show the churches in sunny weather. The artworks were of liturgical subject matter, namely high concentration of Orthodox icons, and Cyrillic from the days of St. Cyril and Methodius. If you go to the courtyard of Refectory Church of Sts. Anthony and Theodosius Pechersky, you can see the large garden complex that leads to the Dnieper, including the Nativity of Our Lady church. Before leaving the upper part of the Lavra, there is a shop open, that will sell wooden icons, from anywhere between 50 UAH to maybe 200 UAH depending on the size.

I thought about, after leaving the Lavra, if I wanted to eat at Trapezna onsite or the Tsars’ke Selo about a quarter mile away from the entrance, but somehow I decided to go downhill to Dniprovskyi Descent and see if I could reach the Motherland Monument faster. I knew of a tram line that used to run along the Naberezhne shosse, so I boarded it at the stop closest to the Kyiv Founder’s Monument and rode it just one stop to the line’s end. It was a very rickety tram, as it was of the Tatra T3 type and most of the lines in general had fallen into disrepair that they could not go faster than 20 mph / 30 km/h. I ended up at an Indian restaurant called the New Bombay Palace. Since I came that far, and the place accepted credit cards, I decided to eat there. I had mutton with the creamed spinach and cheese chunks. And rice pudding. I think I had the Indian tea as well. It cost maybe 80 UAH altogether including tip.

Before going to the Motherland Monument, I took bus 55 from the New Bombay Palace to the Pecherska metro station, and I walked up and down Bulvar Lesi Ukrainky but it was mainly high rise apartments that I remembered from my prior visit to the USSR in July and August 1990. Maybe a few shops and grocery stores, but that was it. I took the metro to Vydubichi and Slavutich to cross the Dnieper. The metro comes out of tunnel on the green line from Vydubichi and goes back into tunnel prior to Slavutich. Eastward along Mykoly Bazhana Avenue was pretty much just apartments and the odd store or restaurant, and it was the same route I went on Friday the 9th October from the airport to the central rail station Passazhirskiy. So I went back on the green line to Pecherska, went back to the Bombay Palace on bus line 55, then I walked up the hill to the Motherland Monument. I had to walk uphill on Vulitsa Lavrs’ka and then Vulitsa Zapecherna and then I ended up at the monument.

The Motherland Monument is one of those statues, that came from an earlier era, namely the USSR. And it is controversial. It was completed when Lenoid Brezhnev was in power, years prior to Gorbachev. In particular this is a 300 foot stainless steel woman with a sword in her right hand, and the USSR shield in her left hand. From Wikipedia on that subject: “In April 2015, the parliament of Ukraine outlawed Soviet and Communist symbols, street names and monuments, in a decommunization attempt.[9] But World War II monuments are excluded from these laws.[10] Director of the Ukrainian Institute of National Remembrance Volodymyr Viatrovych stated in February 2018 that the state emblem of the Soviet Union on the shield of the monument should be removed according to the decommunization laws. It is not removed, however, still by today. [11]”

The Motherland Monument was only an outside display for the National Museum of the History of Ukraine in the Second World War.

In the museum, there are many examples of propaganda, on both sides of the war, be it Axis or the Allies. The USSR was always of the opinion that it was doing the right thing. The top floor has a ceiling light in red that has “CCCP” and “Pobeda” Победа (victory) in Russian. Leaving the museum, the outside also has many tanks on display year round.

I took bus 24 back to Arsenal’na, so that I could at least try to see the Babyn Yar, namely the monument to the victims of WWII. This would require transferring at Teatral’na / Zoloti Vorota, and taking the green line to Dorohozhichi. There would be a park, where there actually used to be housing until it was bombed in WWII, and whatever was demolished was cleared away and was just a park to walk through. I spent maybe ten minutes reflecting and such. It was kind of emotionally draining to be there. I left and went to the Bonus Super Price grocery store for some snacks, and some Ukrainian beers to take home. It was slowly getting late but I was glad to make it to Babyn Yar, regardless of how it made me feel to see it.

After Babyn Yar, I took the green line to Teatral’na / Zoloti Vorota and the red line to Kreshchatyk to end up at Maidan Nezalezhnosti where I transferred to the blue line and go as far as Poshtova Ploshcha, maybe about twenty feet above the Dnieper river. Walking along the Borychiv Descent there were pedestrian bridges to the river walkway. I thought about taking a ride on the river boats but it was getting late. So I went back to Maidan Nezalezhnosti.

Kreshchatyk was cut off from vehicular traffic that evening. I went to look for the Bierstube and I found it. It was in an alley about a few hundred feet from the Ploshcha Lva Tolstoho station on Vulitsa Velyka Vasylkivska. The beer selection was not so good but it was delicious all the same. I ordered a beef stroganoff, that came with excellent mushroom sauce. The Bierstube also had the mugs of mustard and ketchup, complimentary with a meal – with beef stroganoff I am not sure it would go particularly well but no matter. What is the difference between the original Bierstube and Viola’s Bierstube that I visited Saturday the 10th October? The original one belonged to Viola’s ex-husband Erik, who originally came from the former East Germany. I guess their management styles clashed and Viola decided to open her own Bierstube a few blocks away near the Bessarabsky Market. Both have long since went out of business, but I am glad to have been to both when they were still open.

What did I do after dinner? At the "Zemelʹnyy Kapital" bank, there was a musical setup with a dancefloor for breakdancing. I think there were about five men in their 20’s who were breakdancing and I stayed about twenty minutes for that before going back to the hostel. There was still more sightseeing to do in Kiev, and I would have an unexpected extra night at the hostel as opposed to being on the train and at the hotel in Minsk. At least arrangements were made so it was not much to worry about.

And what was the plan for Monday the 12th October 2009? Visit to the Ukrainian National Chernobyl Museum, National Museum of Folk Architecture and Life of Ukraine, and a real tasty chicken kiev.

Good night and be careful and don’t go to the real Chernobyl!!!!!

[med684productionblog]

Blog #5

B. List 5 Possible Ancillary Distribution Markets for your Film

If I can secure sponsorship from the Chicago Bears, or another NFL or UFL team, I could try to get them to have a special day where they give out DVD copies or codes for the film for the first X amount of people who go to the stadium. Sports complexes regularly do this with T-Shirts, bobbleheads, etc.

I could try to find a high-school or college football team and host a screening for them, with any family or the public having to pay.

Similar to the previous one, but just playing it at a college with a big football culture, but no incentive of free tickets to certain groups.

Because part of the script involves crime and sports-gambling, I could try to get it played at a prison.

Some sort of social media challenge, where anyone who sends in clips of them doing something football related, like throwing a toss 40 yards or something like that, gets a digital code for a copy of the film. If it's some sort of #Challenge, I think it could spread to people within my target audience.

C. List 5 Top Tier Festivals

Sundance. Utah. Mid-January. $85. Independent feature-length films with no specific genre.

SXSW. Austin, Texas. March. $60. Independent feature-length films with no specific genre.

New York Film Festival. NYC. Late September - Early October. $50. Accepts feature-length films that has not premiered previously within the state of New York, or were able to be viewed within the state of New York through other means such as DVD or streaming. Cannot be shown at any other festivals within the state of New York concurrently with the duration of the festival.

Tribeca Film Festival. NYC. April. $85. Feature films at least over 40 minutes, with an emphasis on distinct voices and bold new ideas.

Toronto International Film Festival. Toronto, Canada. $155 for a non-Canadian production. Feature films at least 60 minutes long.

D. Explain your Ideal Festival Strategy

I intentionally did not mention Cannes or any other European film festivals because I don't think they'd be interested in my script, since it's about crime and American sports, which in my experience aren't think Europeans are generally interested in. In class you mentioned that often times independent film investors are retired sports players. My festival strategy is to attract those sorts of investors. I'd try to network with people in the hallways and stuff at the festivals, looking for those sorts of investors, or agents on behalf of those investors.

E. Explain what a Rent-a-Distributor is

This scenario is where a film-maker or production company pays a distributor an upfront fee for an agreement to distribute the film. This is generally not in the film-makers favor. Since the distributor has already been paid, they have no incentive to put in more than the bare minimum for marketing and distribution.

F. What does the acronym ‘MG’ stand for? Why would a filmmaker never see a ROI profit if they choose to accept a MG?

MG means Minimum Guarantee. The minimum guarantee is what a distributor needs to recoup from the film before the film-maker receives any sort of profit, if they have an MG-agreement. This is generally not ideal for a film-maker, because if the film does poorly (which as an independent film is highly likely), you have to pay back the MG before you can take any sort of profit. Generally these have a five year window you have to pay it back in, and the distributor can simply not release the film until the five year mark is finished, as they have the sole distribution power, so you can be really screwed out of actually paying back the MG and making a profit.

G. Explain why a producer would always want to avoid cross-collateralization / packaging.

Cross-collateralization packaging is like those 5-in-1 DVDs you can find at Wal-Mart and places like that. It's generally bad because you're not getting 100% of the profits as you're sharing it with other films, but also because by bundling it as a package with other films (such as for a streaming deal), if the buyer isn't interested in one of the other films but is interested in yours they have no choice but to buy the other films as well, for a more expensive rate. They might ultimately pass on purchase because of the bundled films.

[nastybuckybarnes]

Camera Shy

Pairing: Camboy!Bucky X Reader

Summary: You’ve always wanted to try your hand at ‘accounting’. Who better to turn to than your best friend and seasoned ‘accountant’, Bucky?

Warnings: Language, Smut, Fluff, Camboy!Bucky and all the things that go with that, friends to lovers, 

Word Count: 3.5K

A/n: I’ve had this idea for a while now and I absolutely love camboy!bucky. Anywho, I hope you enjoy! Also, this is poorly edited so sorry in advance! I love you all so much!

~*~

Bills Bills Bills and more bills.

Lately, that’s all that your mail has been.

Nothing but bills.

With a hearty sigh, you fall onto your bed and squeeze your eyes shut.

In the summer when you could work full time, the bills were nothing. But now, mid-October with University raging, you’re having a hard time staying on top of everything.

In the back of your mind is a small nagging voice whispering a solution into your ear.

A solution that many people you know have already turned to.

For example, your best friend Bucky.

He’s never been short on cash, he can always foot the bill, and his Brooklyn apartment is worth bragging about.

He’s the person you trust most in the world, especially when it comes to something like this.

Biting your lip and swallowing your nerves, you roll onto your side and grab your phone off of the bedside table, clicking on his contact name and calling him.

“Hey, Plum. What’s going on?”

You can hear soft chattering in the background, most likely another outing with his friends.

“Hey, Buck. I uh... I was wondering if you wanted to come over a little bit later?” You sound nervous to your own ears and curse yourself for it.

“Of course, sweetheart. Everything okay?”

You blow out a breath and nod even though he can’t see you.

“Yeah, everything’s good. I just... I miss you. And... there are a few things I wanna talk to you about, that’s all.”

“Uh oh, not the ‘we need to talk’. You’re not breaking up with me, sugar, are you?”

You roll your eyes at him but a soft laugh falls from your lips.

“Shut up. Be here at seven?”

“I’ll be there five minutes early. And I’ll bring drinks, too.”

“Perfect. See you then.”

“Bye, Plum.”

You hang up the phone and toss it aside, letting out a shaky breath.

It’s done.

You can’t exactly turn back now.

Now, all you can do is wait.

~*~

“You really shouldn’t leave the door unlocked like this, Plum. What if I was a stranger?”

You roll your eyes and don't look up from your phone as Bucky walks in, making himself at home.

“Nobody even knows I exist except you, Barnes.”

He plops down next to you and hands you an open can of something fruity.

“Thanks.”

He nods, taking a sip of his beer and tossing his arm over the back of the couch.

“So, what did you need to talk to me about, honey?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip for a long moment before finally speaking, your gaze focused on the can in your hands.

“How uh... how did you get started with what you do?”

He’s quiet for a long moment, piercing blue eyes trained on your face.

“You mean my cam page?”

You nod, not raising your gaze.

“Why? You interested in starting one?” His voice is teasing and light, but when you don’t laugh his eyes widen.

“Oh my god, you do, don’t you?”

“Shut up. I just... school is expensive and this apartment is expensive and living is expensive and you just... you make so much. I wanna... I wanna give it a try.”

“If you need money you can always tell me. S’what friends are for. And you’ve gotta really consider something like this and what it means, Plum. Your body’s gonna be on the internet forever. People are gonna see and, as much as it kills me to say this, some people are gonna have not so nice things to say.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and finally raise your eyes to his.

“I know that, Buck. I’ve... I’ve been thinking about this for a while, actually. It’s about more than just the money. It’s... I don’t know how to explain it.”

You drop your gaze again and shake your head, pushing to your feet.

“It was stupid of me to bring it up. Sorry I asked.”

His hand winds around yours before you can get too far away, tugging you gently back to the couch until you’re seated next to him.

“Hey, your my best friend, Plum. I just wanna make sure you know what you’re getting into. I sure as hell didn’t. I wish I had someone out there lookin’ out for me when I first started. I’d have saved myself a whole shit ton of trouble and tears.”

Your eyes find his once more. His beautiful, soft, kind blue eyes.

“If you want to and you’ve thought it over, of course I’ll help you. But you won’t be pulling in the big bucks immediately,” he warns.

You nod, biting your bottom lip as excitement bubbles up inside of you.

“I... don’t laugh when I tell you this, okay?”

He nods, his eyes completely serious, “of course.”

“I just... something about it makes me feel... I don't know, sexy, I guess.”

You avoid his eyes as humiliation crawls out of your stomach, following your words like vomit.

“When I’m sending nudes or even when I’m just taking cute scandalous pictures it just... I don’t know, it makes me feel good. I can’t explain it.”

He holds your hand the tiniest bit tighter and nods, completely understanding what you mean.

“I get what you’re saying Plum. Trust me, I do. Fuck, if I looked like you I’d put my nudes on a billboard.”

You smack his shoulder playfully and he chuckles, leaning closer to you.

“M’serious. You’re fucking hot. And, if you’re serious about this, I’ll help you.”

You nod eagerly, turning to face him and waiting for whatever wisdom he’s going to bestow upon you.

“The very first thing is setting boundaries for yourself. What are you comfortable with? How much do you wanna show? Do you wanna be anonymous? Stuff like that. And then, we can get your account set up and you can start filming.”

You take a deep breath then nod, a million thoughts running through your mind.

“How do I promote my account? I don’t wanna go on Instagram and do it, my family’s on there.” You can only imagine how awkward Christmas dinner would be if your parents found out. That is, if you even get an invitation.

“You can promote on other social medias or create new ones dedicated to advertising. And... If you want, and only if you want, you can debut on mine. You can film whatever kind of content you want, you can edit it, and then we’ll upload it on mine with a link to your account.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“Would... would you see it?”

He gives you the gentlest of smiles and pushes your hair away from your face.

“Honey, don’t get all shy on me now. If you don’t want me to see, I don’t have to see. You can use my apartment and my camera and stuff and you can do it all. But if you want my help with anything, all you need to do is ask.”

Once again, your teeth find your bottom lip as you ponder this.

If you wanted him there, he’d be there.

If you asked him, Bucky Barnes, your best friend, to be there while you make adult content, he would.

If you asked him to join... would he?

Something about the look in his eyes tells you that he would.

You shake the dirty thoughts from your head and give him a small smile.

“Okay. Let’s do this, then.”

He grins right back at you and nods.

“Let’s do it. My place, tomorrow morning. When you’re done filming your scenes we’re gonna go out to brunch, on me. And then after that, you can decide if you wanna post them or not.”

You nod your agreement.

“It’s a deal.”

~*~

At exactly nine thirty the next morning, Bucky’s letting you into his apartment and showing you toward the room designated for filming scenes.

The second guest bedroom that he’s rigged with lights and backdrops and expensive-looking cameras aimed at the bed from different angles.

You swallow hard, feeling nervous.

“You sure you wanna do this, Plum?”

With a deep breath, you nod.

You do. If only to try it out.

“Okay. I can put some music on and light a candle if you want? Get you relaxed?” His hands trace up and down your arms, the friction doing little to get rid of the goosebumps.

“Sure,” you whisper, trying to take deep breaths to calm your racing heart.

He moves around the room getting things ready, and you slowly unzip your sweater, leaving you in a black lace bra.

“I can hear you overthinking from over here,” he jokes softly, turning the last camera on then making his way over to you.

He takes both of your hands in his and kisses your knuckles softly.

“You don’t need to do this. I won’t think any less of you if you back out.”

You shake your head and look up into his eyes.

“I wanna do it I just... I don’t know what to do,” you confess softly, feeling foolish.

“I want it to look as natural as possible. But I just... I guess I’m camera shy.”

He chuckles gently and nods, fingers interlocking with yours.

“I was too, Plum. It takes time. You just gotta relax, okay? I can step out if you want?”

Butterflies flutter around in your belly at the idea of him staying, and before you can stop yourself you shake your head.

“I... if you leave I... I don’t think... I don’t know. I just...” you stop trying to explain yourself and huff out a sigh.

“Can’t you just tell me what to do?”

His pants tighten at the question and he needs to swallow hard before answering.

“If... if you want me to, I absolutely will, okay?”

You nod gently, eyes wide and focused on his face.

He takes a deep breath then brings his hands up to your shoulders, gently pushing the sweater away until it falls to the floor.

“I want you to take your pants off, sweet girl, okay?”

You let out a shaky exhale then do as instructed, dropping your sweats and standing before your best friend in nothing more than your underwear.

His eyes devour your frame and you can’t help but feel a little insecure under his gaze. Until you notice the tent in his pants. That makes your confidence skyrocket.

“Can you get on the bed for me, pretty Plum? On your back.”

You comply easier this time, climbing onto the bed as gracefully as you can manage, then laying down on your back.

Your knees draw up and together, shielding your intimate area slightly.

“M’gonna touch you, baby, okay?”

You suck in a sharp breath as you feel two of his warm fingers on your knee.

“S’just me, honey. Just Bucky. Your Bucky.”

Your back arches the tiniest bit.

Your Bucky.

“Gotta get my girl warmed up, okay? Just relax for me, m’gonna make you feel good, I promise.”

You nod, eyes closed as he slowly spreads your thighs.

“Fuck, honey. Look at you. Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. You gonna let me touch you? Gonna let me eat your pretty little cunt ‘till all you can remember is my name?”

You nod again, fingers gathering the bedsheets and curling them into your fists.

“You’re so pretty, baby.”

You can feel his warm breath against your panties, so close to where you’re dripping for him.

With practiced ease, he slips your panties from your legs, and then his lips, teeth, and tongue, are teasing everywhere but where you need them.

“Please,” you whine, reaching down and threading your fingers through his hair.

“Please what?”

A soft whimper falls from your lips when he traces his tongue around your hole.

“Please make me cum,” you finally whisper.

He rewards you immediately, mouth latching onto your clit while two thick fingers plunge into you with no preparation.

A loud moan falls from your lips and your head digs into the bed.

“Fuck, Bucky!”

He fucks into you quickly, hitting your g-spot with every thrust of his sinful fingers while his lips and tongue continue their assault on your clit.

“Oh God, Fuck! Don’t stop, please don’t stop!”

He obeys, his eyes trained on your face as you lose yourself in the pleasure he’s giving you.

The cameras in the room are forgotten by the two of you as you both indulge in a fantasy that you’ve kept hidden.

For far too long has he held back, wondering what it would be like to have his mouth on your pussy. Now that he knows, he’s never going to give it up.

And you’ve spent many nights with your hand between your thighs, wishing it was his instead.

Now that you’ve had a taste, you don’t think you’ll ever get enough.

“Oh, right there, Buck. Please, M’so close, God, Please!”

Hearing you beg might be the prettiest sound he’s ever heard in his life.

Well, second to hearing you cum.

Your release slams into you like a brick wall and you groan loudly, thighs clenched tightly around his head while your hands yank at his hair hard enough to cause the man pain, but he doesn’t mind.

All that he cares about is the look of pleasure on your face and the feeling of your walls clamping down around his fingers.

When you fall back against the bed and your grip on his hair loosens, he crawls his way up your body until he’s hovering over you.

Your eyes find his, fucked out and beautiful, and he can’t help but smile at the mess you’ve become.

“Hi, Plum. You okay?”

“Mhm.” You nod, grasping the back of his neck and pulling him down until his lips connect with yours.

You can taste yourself on his tongue but that only makes the whole thing impossibly more erotic.

He pushes his way between your thighs, mouth never leaving yours as one of his hands moves down to your chest.

With one hard yank, your bra is torn from your body and tossed to the floor and then his hands and lips are exploring the newly exposed flesh.

“Can I fuck you, sweet girl? Hmm? You gonna let me stick my cock into your perfect little pussy?”

You nod, pushing your chest up into his greedy grasp which only makes him chuckle.

“Sweet Plum. The fucking sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Can’t wait to get my cock in you, make you cum all over me.”

You clench around nothing at his dirty words, whining softly when he pulls away to take off his clothes.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?” He teases, pulling his shirt over his head and giving you a perfect view of his glorious body.

Carved by Michelangelo himself, you find yourself wanting to trace every ridge and bump and curve that he has.

Your thoughts trail off, however, when his sweatpants drop to the floor and his cock springs free.

Thick, long, and weeping, it looks absolutely delicious.

All you want is to put it in your mouth.

As if sensing your thoughts, Bucky grins at you.

“We’ll save that for later, Plum. Right now m’gonna fuck you ‘till you can’t walk.”

His words hold a promise that you hope he keeps.

He grabs onto your hips and spins you onto your front then yanks you up until you’re on your hands and knees facing away from him, back arching when he slides a pillow beneath your hips.

“Look at how pretty you are, Plum. All nice and swollen for me... fucking beautiful. A work of art, really.”

He slides his hot length through your folds, relishing in the whiny moan that falls from your lips.

“Be a good girl for me and take it, okay?”

He slowly pushes inside of you, inch by thick inch, and your moans get louder the deeper he gets.

When he finally bottoms out, he needs to breathe deeply to stop himself from blowing his load right then and there.

“God, you feel like heaven,” he whispers, one hand rubbing gently along your spine.

You whimper, pushing your hips back the tiniest bit further then pulling away slowly.

He watches, absolutely entranced, as you slowly start fucking yourself on his cock.

“Such a greedy girl for me. Look at that.”

You mewl into the bedsheets and start rooking your hips faster, crying out softly when he smacks your ass only to immediately smooth his hand over the stinging flesh.

“Sorry, Plum. Couldn’t help it.”

When you pull your hips forward next, he lurches forward to meet your backward thrust, making you cry out as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix.

The pain is so perfect that it has you seeing stars.

“Fuck!”

He starts up a borderline brutal pace, hips snapping against your ass hard enough to leave bruises that will be painful to sit on.

“Fuck, feel me in your tummy? Yeah? I bet you can.”

You nod, drooling into the pillows as he fucks all the thoughts from your head.

Slowly, he leans forward, his hands finding yours.

He laces his fingers through yours and holds you tenderly as he abuses your cunt.

“Fuck, you feel so good... got me addicted, baby.”

You whine, rocking your hips slightly to meet his every brutal thrust.

“Fuck, not gonna last long... so fuckin’ tight...”

One of his hands leaves yours to slide down the front of your body, stopping only when he finds your clit.

His fingers move expertly over it, tightening the coil in your belly until you feel like you may pass out.

The overstimulation makes a broken cry fall from your lips as he brings you closer and closer to that beautiful edge, until you’re falling headfirst into another mind rattling orgasm.

Your vision goes white and your ears start to ring as you clamp down around him, milking his cock as he follows you into his own climax, painting your walls white.

Moan after soft moan falls from your lips as the aftershocks make your body tremble and your toes curl, and he stays rooted inside of you the entire time, his hands holding onto your hips tight enough to bruise.

Finally, after what feels like hours, he slowly pulls his softened cock out of you, groaning at both the sensitivity and the way his cum drips down your thigh.

Unable to stop himself, he lowers to his stomach and pulls your hips down to rest more comfortably on the pillow beneath them, putting your cunt at the perfect level to get a nice long taste.

His tongue is lapping at the mess between your thighs before you even have a chance to catch your breath and you gasp, shooting a look over your shoulder only for your pussy to clench at the sight.

His eyes are closed as he devours you, drinking up everything you have to offer and successfully cleaning up the mess he made of you.

“B-Bucky, oh fuck, Bucky I-I can’t!”

He chuckles softly and slowly pulls away, placing a kiss on your clit then peppering gentle kisses along your spine until his body is draped over yours, half-hard cock nudging at your folds again.

“You with me, pretty girl?”

You slowly open your eyes and turn to look at him and he all but cums at the sight of you.

Your lips are parted and your eyes are glossy and distant. Mascara is smudged on your cheeks and your hair is an absolute mess.

Pride blooms inside of him at the sight and he places a quick kiss to your lips.

“C’mon, Plum. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He helps you to your feet, supporting most of your weight as your legs tremble like a baby deer’s.

“Jesus, Buck,” you whisper, leaning against him as he leads you to the bathroom and turns the shower on.

He steps under the warm spray then helps you in, keeping his arms wound around your waist and pulling you to lean against him.

He presses soft kisses to your shoulders and the top of your head, smiling against your skin when you hum contentedly.

“So, Plum? What are your thoughts?”

You pull away slightly to look up at him, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

“If every scene is like that, you’ve got yourself a deal, Barnes.”

He chuckles and lightly bumps his nose against yours.

“As long as you’re only doing the scenes with me. You’re mine, honey. And I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Nothing Much to Lose

Author: marchember

Artist: Jojo

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Length: 85000

Warnings: undefined

Tags: #Howl’s Moving Castle fusion/AU #more movie than book #characters from the HMC universe #Hatter Dean #Wizard Cas #adventure #bickering #enemies to friends to lovers

Posting Date: October 27, 2022

Summary: Dean’s life as a Hatter is predictable and well-worn, his days filled with taking care the Family Business in the small town where everyone knows him by name. It doesn’t leave much space for adventure or excitement, and that’s fine. He has his job, taking care of his mother’s legacy, his friends, and his genius little brother going places.  All signs points to this being all that the Fate has in store for Dean - until an unexpected nighttime meeting with a mysterious wizard on a run from the law leaves him suddenly involved with precisely the kind of shady magical dealings he’d avoided all his life.  Struggling with an ineffable curse, his familiar life turned suddenly upside down, the search for a remedy leads him straight back to the person who started it all - and who unfortunately seems to be a bit of a dick. And since when things like that even happen to older brothers?

Excerpt: Dean realised his mistake the second the words left his mouth, but it was too late. He saw the soldier’s eyes widen, and his face contort further in a maddened scowl, lips drawn, showing ugly, yellowed teeth. He watched, transfixed, as the guy raised his fist, and managed to think that “drunk, pummelled to death by assholes” was definitely not how he wanted to go, when a low, gravelly voice cut through. “Thats enough.” The soldier stopped mid-motion, frozen. Dean blinked a few times, before taking his eyes off the fist suspended in front of his face. He might’ve had gotten a little cross-eyed.  Quick survey of the scene told him that the other soldier was immobilised as well. Behind him, the tramp stood with his left arm outstretched. He somehow looked decidedly less scrawny and grimy, even despite the dirty longcoat and general unkemptness. His blue eyes almost seemed to glow.  He made a shooing motion and mumbled something unintelligible, causing the soldiers to turn and walk away in complete silence, their moves weirdly stiff and unnatural, then sighed deeply.  “You just had to insert yourself into this situation, didn’t you?” he asked Dean, a displeased scowl on his face. “Typical. Every day in this country there is a thousand injustices and nobody bats an eye, but when I need to be left alone suddenly there are wannabe heroes falling from the sky.” He looked derisively at the staircase behind Dean. “I can’t depend even on human callousness.” “Hey!” Dean reddened, rapidly growing to regret his decision to stand up for the guy. “I could swear ‘thanks’ is the customary phrase when somebody bravely comes to your rescue like that.“ “‘Thanks’?” Dean goggled as the weirdo actually gesticulated the air quotes. “You come in, you interfere with my… activities, pointlessly run your mouth and force me to save you, ruining my plan, and you expect to be thanked?”  “Well, excuse me for wanting to help a down-and-out like you getting the crap beaten out of him-” “It’s a disguise,” he hissed, waving his hand up and down, and huh. If Dean had had any doubts about the guy being a wizard (not that he had any, after the puppeteer show with the soldiers), they’d dissipate right then. With every pass of his hand, the man seemed to wipe off the hobo persona. His clothes got clean and less wrinkly, although the terrible coat remained shapeless, sagging from his shoulders. His dark hair was no longer matted with sweat and grime - now it looked messy, like the guy was carding his hands through it just a minute ago. Dirt and the grubby beard disappeared from his face, leaving behind only a slight five o’clock shadow and a pissed off expression. He even seemed to grow a couple inches. “Not bad,” Dean praised. “I’d lose the coat, though.”

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

Can I please get a Matt Murdock fic with Only Us from DEH. Just real fluff like EXTREME. Please and thank you.

Hello! So this didn't turn out as fluffy as I hoped but it is still majorly fluffy! I hope you like it!

❀ Premise: You are a law librarian and you meet and get to know Matt through law library associated activities.

❀ Word Count: 1,918

❀ CW: Law Libraries, Flirting, Fluff

❀ Song: Only Us- Dear Evan Hansen

❀ Citrus Scale: Citrus

The Law Library in Hell’s Kitchen was usually empty, which irked your supervisor. She’d always talk to you about the good old days where the library was filled with lawyers, judges, law clerks, all researching law. They started to dwindle in the mid to late 2000s with the introduction and widespread use of online versions of the same books that filled this library. By now, there was almost no one left coming into law libraries to do legal research- except for the lawyers from Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

You were shocked when you heard the door open one October morning, only to look up and find a pair of lawyers.

“Welcome to Columbus Law Library. My name is Y/N, how may I help you?”

“Hi, y/n. I’m Foggy Nelson- this is Matt Murdock. Do you happen to have a subscription to Westlaw Edge?”

“We do maintain a singular subscription to Westlaw Edge, though both Westlaw and LexisNexis are available in print format.”

“That’s all we need. Do you happen to have a braille keyboard?” Matt asks.

“Give me just a moment.” You say, looking it up in your system, “We do. It appears to be in storage, so let me go grab it for you.”

When you return to the front with the keyboard, the two men have already made their way over to one of the three computers.

“Let me just get this set up for you- this might take a few minutes, I’m not sure the last time this keyboard was used.” You state, brushing past the two men and taking a seat in front of the computer. You spend the next 10 minutes struggling to get the old thing to finally connect. “Got it! Mr. Murdock, please feel free to test it out.”

You get out of the seat to let him slide in, which he manages to do fairly well on his own.

“Works fine. Thank you for setting this up, y/n” Matt states.

“Of course. Is there anything else you’ll need while your here?” You keep a professional manner but you can feel the heat in your cheeks.

“No, I think we got it. If you could let me know when the next pocket part comes in for New York Jurisprudence, 2d, I’d appreciate it” Foggy responds.

“Of course. I’ll let you know as soon as we get it in. Could I please get your-” Matt is handing you their business card before you can even finish your sentence. “Thank you, Mr. Murdock.”

“Just call me Matt.”

“Right. I’ll be at the front desk if either of you needs anything”

After that day, you only ever see the two of them come in separately. Foggy is on a set schedule: every Monday morning from nine to noon, he uses one of the computers to conduct legal research- and will occasionally look through the hardcover LexisNexis books to cross-reference for certain cases. Matt is much more sporadic. Sometimes you’ll see him five times a week- other times it will be a whole month before he comes back in. It’s always later in the day, about an hour or two before the library closes.

“Matt. It’s nice to see you. It’s been a while.” You state, seeing him come in.

“Nice to see you y/n. Foggy asked me to ask about a pocket part?” He approaches the front desk.

“Yup. It just came in this morning. I’ll make sure it’s out for him when he comes in on Monday.”

“Great. Thanks, y/n” As he begins to walk away, you notice a trickle of blood on the back of his neck.

“Matt- your bleeding.” You state. You take the boxes of tissues you keep behind the counter and begin to approach him.

“I am?” He doesn’t seem that concerned.

“You should sit down.” It’s less a suggestion and more a demand. You pull over a chair for him to sit in, and you kneel next to him to be able to get close enough to the bleed.

“Are you gonna tell me how this happened?” You ask, cleaning up the wound.

“I’m an alcoholic.” He states.

“The alcoholics I know don’t smell like antiseptic and copper.” You reply. You are close enough to smell his breath, which also betrays the fact he hasn’t had anything to drink in a while- let alone enough to be drunk. “And that doesn’t answer my question”

“I’m willing to bet you haven’t been around enough alcoholics to know that for certain” He responds, leaning into your touch

“I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that a boxer's son gets into fights, but I guess I was expecting a little more from a lawyer of your caliber” You respond, causing him to jerk away from you. “Guess I hit a nerve”

“How’d you know it was from a fight?” He’s stood up to get further distance from you

“I didn’t, until now.” You reply, standing up. “But that’s none of my business,” You place the bloody tissue in his hands, closing his fingers around it, “Unless you want it to be.”

“Does attorney-client privilege apply?” Matt jokes with a pained smile.

“It would if I actually sat on the bar” You respond.

After a short silence, Matt says, “I’ll be doing some research.”

“And I’ll be here if you need anything.”

The next time you see Foggy, you don’t bring it up. You just mention that yes, Matt had stopped in on Friday, and yes, you had told him to tell Foggy that the pocket part was in. No, you have no idea why Matt didn’t tell him. It would be another two weeks before you saw Matt again.

“Welcome back, Matt.” You say, without looking up from the book you are reading. It’s not like he could see you.

“Y/n. Any updates I should know about?”

“Nope. Nothing interesting going on, I’m afraid.” Matt and Foggy are always the most interesting part of your day when they decide to enter it.

A few minutes later, you hear Matt shout from the computers, “Y/n? Can you come here a second?”

You put a bookmark on the page you had been reading and get up to see what’s going on.

“Hi Matt, how can I help?” You ask, approaching where he is sitting.

“I think the servers are down.” He states.

“Do you mind if I scootch in next to you to get a better look at the screen?” You ask.

“Sure thing.” He moves over enough to allow you to sit down on the edge of the chair.

“Let’s take a look- yup. Looks like their servers are down. Routine maintenance.” You try to ignore the fact that your thighs are pressed up next to each other while you confirm the issue.

“Convenient.” He says sarcastically.

“I suppose you’ll need my help, then,” You state, getting out of your shared chair, “What kind of law were you researching?” You ask.

“Lemon law.” He responds.

“Oh, The sexiest kind of law.” You joke. As you make your way to the relevant area of the library, Matt follows you.

“Only for one of the sexiest lawyers.” Matt teases.

“Don’t push your luck. I’ll lock you in the library.”

“Is that a threat?”

“The man from that one episode of the Twilight Zone sure thought it was”

“He wasn’t blind and at the mercy of librarian” Matt points out.

“But he was surrounded by the one thing he needed without the ability to complete the task. Which would be you if I wasn’t here.” You respond, pulling the relevant materials out.

“I could always call Foggy.”

“But that wouldn’t be fun, would it?” You reply, now having a stack of about three books balanced on your right arm. Just then, you feel Matt’s hand in the small of your back, causing you to almost drop all three books.

“No, it wouldn’t” You walk like that to the nearest table, where you set the books down, and turn into Matt’s hand, causing it to now be on one of your hips.

“Now, as charming as you are” You state, slowly peeling his hand away from your body with your own before sitting down, “You did come here to research lemon law- not me.”

“Who says I can’t do both?” He’s got a cheeky grin on his face as he sits down next to you.

“So what legal question are you researching in particular in regards to lemon law?” You ignore the flirting for now.

“Are cars primarily used for personal purposes but also used for food delivery as part of a person's employment considered covered under the lemon law?” He responds.

“Spoken like a true lawyer. Let’s see…” Your hands brush as you open the text.

“Can I ask you something?” Matt says after you spend a few minutes trying to locate the right section of the law.

“I’m starting to think you’re not actually that interested in lemon law.” You tease, closing the book. “Go ahead.”

“Did you mean it when you said it the other week? That it was none of your business unless I wanted it to be?” You can see him searching for your hand, which you had put on top of the closed book. You move it so he can find it.

“Of course I did.” You say, as your hands intertwine.

“I think I want it to be your business. But I don’t know if it’ll change-” He breathes, “this.”

“I don’t think there’s anything that could change this.” You respond, releasing his hand and placing it against your face.

“You promise?” He asks, using his thumb to trace your lips.

“I promise” You state, his thumb still on your lips. They are soon replaced with his own, while both of his hands cup either side of your face. When he pulls away, you nuzzle your face into his right hand.

“Who knew lemon law could be so romantic” You joke, causing him to laugh.

“Can I walk you home?” He asks.

“Of course, you can.”

Matt is still very sporadic about visiting the law library, but he is very consistent about your dates, and always has an excuse if he needs to reschedule. You find out about a month after your first kiss the reason why Matt had come in injured that day, but it doesn’t change anything for you.

“Matt, I’m ready.” You shout from his bathroom, having just changed into something a little fancier. He’d booked a table at a restaurant not far from his apartment for the two of you.

“I’d say you look stunning..” He begins

“But I’d be lying.” You reply with a smile.

“You do smell very nice.” Matt gives an actual compliment.

“Thank you. And you look very handsome- though your tie could use some help” You reply, adjusting the tie around his neck.

“Y/n, are you sure this doesn’t change anything?” He asks as you make the final adjustments.

“You keep asking me that, Matt. It doesn’t- not for me. Does it change things for you?” You reply, pushing back some of his hair.

“No- It’s just. It changed a lot of things for other people in my life. Never for the better” He laments.

“I’m not them. I love you for who you are- all parts of you” You respond, placing a hand on his cheek.

He smiles, moving his face to kiss the palm of your hand.

“Is that enough reassurance?” You ask, removing your hand from his face.

“It is.”

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo ranboo & others are mentioned - tommy won’t go home

this is part 14 to the great adventures series

an: I tried, days are a social construction on the tarosin blog… also i’m back baby <3

from the moment you were forced awake by tubbo streaming with ranboo, Tommy began sending several messages as in his own words you ‘weren’t answering him quick enough’, probably because you had only just woken up and had no idea what day or time it was.

Tommy: y/n

Tommy: y/n were going out soon I've decided so answer me

Tommy: y/n wake up

y/n: heh? I’m going nowhere I’m tired

Tommy: I’m sending you a ticket make sure you meet me there

it was around now you had the feeling you were going to be stuck with Tommy for a while and you had no idea what to expect. an hour later tubbo stopped streaming so you took this as an opportunity to say your goodbyes to tubbo and ranboo explaining you had no idea what was happening as Tommy refused to explain but you’d probably be back later so they don’t lock you outside like last time

“don’t smirk at me ranboo just because you’re tall doesn’t mean I can’t take you down”

“mhm sure yep”

“y/n you’re going to be late we’ll see you later”

soon enough you were with Tommy who finally decided to inform you of what was happening

“we’re going to go annoy George”

“great idea Tommy let’s go”

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for George to answer, the look on George's face is something you’ll never forget.

“Hello Tommy, is that y/n what are you doing here”

“Nice to see you too… the fuck”

a few minutes later you and Tommy were sat next to George when you found a rubber duck and started making it squeak annoying the others well that was until Tommy took it and started doing the exact same thing you were doing

“I now understand why you looked pissed George”

during the stream, you were sat in between the pair George looked at you and you nodded. a few seconds later George threw the rubber duck hitting Tommy, the pair of you left not long after that event and made your way to the hotel after calling tubbo to explain what was happening.

the next day you and Tommy met up with tubbo ranboo and George at a shopping centre where you were all almost immediately met with several people asking for photos and the chance to talk to you all, you hid behind ranboo until the crowd grew smaller. it didn’t take long for everyone to notice the piano before you had time to process what just happened tubbo ran to the piano dragging you with him accidentally pushing ranboo in the process

“SORRY RANBOO”

the pair of you began playing the piano Tommy joining shortly after. time flew by the five of you spent the rest of your time shopping and just enjoying each other’s company, before you knew it, it was time to get the train. you laughed at tubbo falling asleep on the window however karma quickly caught up as you ended up falling asleep on ranboos shoulder ranboo laughed quietly to himself not wanting to wake up you or tubbo

“I swear its always y/n and tubbo who fall asleep”

“its been a long day y/n couldn’t sleep in the hotel they kept mentioning something about ghosts I don’t know man they must have been watching too many horror films”

“mhm probably”

soon enough you were with the others, minx quickly pulled you into a hug

“Nice tattoo”

“I did it for money it was a sub-goal”

you and tubbo stood with Tommy looking at the ferret

“why’s it so long”

“tubbo does it look like I study zoology I play Minecraft for a living”

the next day you were at the beach, having only had a few hours of sleep the previous night it was safe to say you weren’t in the best mood, you sat next to ranboo occasionally falling in and out of sleep, ranboo kept an arm around you pulling you into his side making sure you were safe and didn’t hit your head on the rocks when you fell asleep. you were woken up by tubbo walking on something which he clearly shouldn’t be. eventually, you all made it back to tubbos house, Tommy and tubbo were in the kitchen while ranboo practised for mcc and you were asleep in the room you had been sharing with ranboo whilst he’s in the Uk.

the next day you all went out on another adventure, at this point you had no idea what was happening but you just went with it. you and Tommy chased a bird telling him about the subscribe button and giving him the name ‘funny boy’

“Why does that bird look just extremely anxious”

“because we’re too cool ranboo”

“maybe we should give him another name than funny boy”

“Charles”

it was at this point you all decided to leave poor Charles alone as it was pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with you.

the three of you made your way to the train station forgetting that the school students would be there, a few minutes later the three of you were swarmed by several students all trying to talk to you all.

“I think we might have got on when the schools are here”

“so thankful you pointed that out boo I thought we were being mobbed by several people cosplaying as school students”

“hi everyone hopefully no one has covid”

you backed away from the crowd moving closer to ranboo

“I bet tubbos really glad he chose not to come”

you tried to avoid the crowd by getting on the train, this failed miserably. people were excited to meet the people they look up to they were all determined to sit with you all on the train taking up the seats around you all, the three of you spent a lot of the train ride talking to them, unlike ranboo and Tommy you ignored the comments aimed at the three of you not wanting to get involved after all it was rather overwhelming so many people talking loudly at once, you ended up moving seats and had a quiet conversation with someone from your community, around half an hour later you were at your destination and said goodbye before joining Tommy and ranboo at wills. the three of you sat on the floor listening to will and the others practice. it’s pretty clear Tommy has a habit of finding things as you turned around to see him with a puppet of a shark pretending to bite you

“Tommy what are you doing”

“bye y/n scream it’s going to get you”

“ah”

realising you weren’t going to scream he began telling joe, Wilbur and David to scream.

after spending time with the others and having a quick trip to the beach you Tommy and ranboo ended up at the shop recording the three of you on the security camera

“If you take a picture from there 50p”

you looked at ranboo tilting your head in confusion even though he was wearing a mask and sunglasses he was clearly equally as confused, he pulled you into his side noticing you were clearly starting to get anxious, you hated confrontation even though it turned out to be a joke it still shook you up a little bit

“I'm only joking my friend…but I did get them”

“you did we took it serious”

“aye you did”

the three of you walked away Tommy still laughing

“he scared me”

after a long day, you all went back to tubbos, you and ranboo decided to end the night early, the pair of you made your way to the shared room. you both spent a few minutes talking about mcc and how you were both going to win and coming up with new strategies. you must have fallen asleep mid-conversation as you didn’t remember seeing Tommy come into the room last night yet you were woken up by him complaining that ranboo playing mcc woke him up.

after getting ready you sat planning an adventure with tubbo

“So where do you wanna go bo”

“We should do something really cool”

“l hope you know that wasn’t helpful”

“pumpkin patch”

“it’s summer where do you think we’re going to find pumpkins…wait tubbo in October I’m taking you to a pumpkin patch it’ll be great we hardly spend time together as a pair near Halloween”

“I promise this year we’ll spend more time together”

your conversation was interrupted by Tommy and ranboo announcing they were ready to go to the beach again. once there tubbo sat arguing with Tommy and ranboo over them needing a life jacket. meanwhile, you had walked away collecting pretty rocks and sea glass putting them in the velvet blue bag covered in embroidered gold stars that dream had sent you as a thank you for the merch you sent him not long ago, you walked along the beach quietly talking to yourself

“ooh jack would like that and I could turn this into a ring for Niki…techno would like this and this would annoy schlatt it's perfect”

you laughed to yourself as you made your way back to the others thinking about schlatts reaction when he sees his gift. when you made your way back you watched Tommy swim over to tubbo leaving ranboo on his own probably waiting for you to return

“did you get any nice rocks then y/n you were out for a while”

“I did. come sit over there with me I’ll show you”

the pair of you sat next to each other away from the sea, ranboo matched your excitement every time you picked the rock you wanted to show him

“you’ve been collecting more than rocks? what’s that”

“I have !! you wanna see?”

“of course I do”

this was a moment neither of you would forget, the pair of you sat enjoying each others company looking at rocks and sea glass you had found on the beach ignoring the world.

taglist:

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[parkers-gal]

why T.H.

wc: 6k (angst)

jerk!tom makes an appearance

You were angry, that was for sure. Tom knew why, it was his fault after all, but he'd never admit it. He would never 'man up' to you and just apologize like he should. At least, not when he should, but he would later, when the damage was already done and set in.

Truth be told, you were furious. How could he do that when he promised not to? You were more hurt than angry, if you were being honest. You didn't want to be the 'mother' but quite frankly, you were disappointed too.

It was your dream to own a bakery, but a bakery in London was something to get your hopes up. Dreaming big never ended well for you in the past, but after years of working your ass off, you had managed to achieve something you had wanted since you were young.

Your bakery, Flour Before Frosting, also happened to be where you met Tom, your boyfriend of almost 18 months. He had walked in one day, charming with a dashing smile, and asked for "your best made velvets, frosted with your number." You remember that day vividly, for it was one of the many times Tom would drop by before eventually taking you out and officially making you his girlfriend. Eight months and 17 days later, you moved out of your crappy flat and into his house (though it really just made things easier because you were already over every night).

You were in your shared bedroom, writing down new plans for how to decorate your bakery for the holidays.

"Hey, babe!" Tom called.

"In here, Tom," you yelled back.

"Oh- hey, luv. Got an old friend visiting next week, so I won't be by for our Wednesday lunch plans," he informed you.

"Oh, okay. Do you want some cupcakes and tea? Gonna have a new batch on Tuesday, fresh with new tea that Jackson just got. I think he made it- anyways, he gave me a sample a few weeks and I absolutely loved it. I think you'll like it too, it's just right for you." You rambled, and Tom laughed and shook his head at you.

"Yeah, darling. I'd love some cupcakes for my guest, gonna have to show off your amazing skills, aren't I?"

You blushed, waving your hand in the air as a hint for him to leave so he would stop flustering you. He ran over to kiss your cheek, leaving a Hershey kiss on your desk before yelling out that he'd be at the gym with Harrison for the next two hours.

Wednesday had come by, and you were on a lunch break, leaving Jackson in charge before heading to your favorite café for coffee and some light reading, and maybe even more planning. Heading in, you ordered and sat down in a booth. The door chime rung, making you look up from your papers and notebooks you had spread out to start your organizing. Tom, and what must've been his friend, walked in. You smiled as they went to the side of the restaurant with the small library of old, vintage books. They were facing away from you, sitting side by side in the angled lounge chairs. You were about to go over to and say 'hi' but your waitress came by with your coffee, so you stayed seated and went back to your work.

You saw Tom with the Tupperware box you gave him, enclosed with the small lunch note you always wrote him. He opened the box, giving a cupcake to the man talking to him (you were right in earshot), before reaching in for his, and the note. Before he got the chance to even look at it, his friend spoke up, frosting on his upper lip.

"You said these were made by a friend? This is fucking disgusting. Is it chocolate or..? Damn, ew, is this frosting healthy?" he laughed.

Tom nodded along, "I, uh, honestly couldn't uhm.." he trailed off, his friend looking at him with a confused expression, expectantly thinking for Tom to agree with him. "Yeah, man, I don't really fucking know."

His friend took another small nibble before playfully gagging, and looking at Tom while he bit into it for the first time. Tom reacted in the same way, 'gagging', to agree with his friend, before putting it on the table with his friend's cupcake.

"Who made that? Certainly wasn't Gordon Ramsey."

At this, Tom laughed. Whether he thought it was funny, or if he was just trying to ease the tension, you couldn't tell. You were too busy blinking tears away.

"You said you had tea?" he questioned Tom. Tom nodded. "Good, need something to wash away that disgusting thing people call a cupcake."

You cringed, turning your head to the side with squinted eyes because you truly couldn't sit there and listen to what someone thought was wrong with your life's work.

Tom didn't reply, just getting the tea in the thermoses in his bag, handing one to his friend while opening his. You were contemplating on if his lack of response was a good thing. On one hand, he wasn't completely encouraging the hate you were getting, but on the other hand, he didn't stick up for you either. Right now, that was all you could think about. But then, everything slipped your mind when both boys tried the tea you had specially made (early, for it wasn't to be sold in your shop for about another month) just for them.

Tom opened his thermos, smiling when he took a sniff at it, because you were right. It smelt like something he would love. His friend, however, would not agree. Taking one sip, he was just as rude about it as he was with the cupcake, going as far as spitting it back into the thermos.

He got up, taking both cupcakes with him, and dumped the thermos out in the trash can, the cupcakes following not long after. He sat down next to Tom, shaking his head with a coy grin before speaking.

"Next time, let's get Chinese or something," he laughed, Tom nodding along with him before slipping both thermoses back into his bag, dropping your note in the process. Before he got to pick it up, his friend crumpled it up and threw it towards the trash can, laughing probably a little too loudly about it. You were certain he knew it was a note from Tom's girlfriend. 

You were still for five minutes, stunned. Ultimately, you decided to cut your lunch break short, packing up your stuff as quickly as possible, leaving a tip and rushing out, your back to the boys.

You had yet to bring anything up, though you weren't noticeably acting different around Tom. But when he mentioned the next week that his 'old friend' wanted to "eat dinner and get drunk" you were hesitant. You hoped this 'friend' was temporary, because the effects were already starting to show, and you didn't like what they were.

Tom didn't tell you when he'd be out with, Andrew, he said his name was? but you didn't think it would be the immediate week after the cupcake incident.

You were sitting on the kitchen stool, jotting down ideas for your shop when he came in.

"Oh, Y/N! Andrew and I decided to go out this Friday, said something about clubbing or shit. Anyways, he said don't expect me home early, but I might sneak away if he's drunk enough," he said, rather quickly, for while he was talking, he was filling a water bottle and grabbing some fruit.

"Wait, this Friday? I thought we-"

"Thanks, Y/N! Gotta head out," he was practically yelling, running to kiss you on the cheek before racing out and slamming the door shut.

Did he mean this Friday? His only day off for the rest of the month, the one where you two planned a film night, with take away and late night talks and star walks in the park?

It was only eight o'clock on a Wednesday morning, your late opening day, but you decided to head in early. Walking in, Jackson had already opened for you, being the gentleman he is, just setting up for the day, knowing you didn't want to walk in to a store full of customers without being there. He was sitting at a window table with his boyfriend, Jeremy, giggling and eating a muffin. When the door chime rung, he looked up, his boyfriend turning around to smile and wave while Jackson was coming towards you.

"Hey, Y/N! We're a little short on shortbread today," he laughed at his pun, "so I put in a new batch about 20 minutes ago. The chalk board is set up and the cappuccino machine is on-" he was about to turn away before he stopped abruptly. "Oh! And Tom stopped by while I was in the back. Jeremy said that he wanted you to know something about not eating cupcakes for this new diet? I don't know, he mentioned something about Anthony telling him about some diet that would help fo-"

"Andrew!" Jeremy cut in from behind, correcting him.

"Right, Andrew told him it would help for his job. So he said to stop making his weekly order."

"Oh," you weren't quite sure what you could say. Thank you? What the fuck? It was all jumbled into your brain too fast. "Thank you, J. Well, guess we should open shop for the day." With that, you worked until seven-thirty, an hour later than you usually would.

Arriving home, you walked in and set your bag down, heading for the kitchen to get water. Mid-drink, Tom walked in.

"Why are you home so late?"

You swallowed, placing the cup down, "I was working," you deadpanned, maneuvering around him so your shoulder wouldn't hit his on your way out. He followed you into the living room.

"It's almost 8!"

"Yeah? I don't know what you want me to say, Tommy. I'm sorry? I'll tell you what you want to hear, but that doesn't mean I mean it. "

He was silent for a second, laughing slightly, seemingly letting it go. You weren't joking, but you didn't want to argue, yet. "Right," he laughed again, "Sorry. I did want to talk to you though."

"We are talking."

"Smartass," he joked. You giggled slightly. "I've got to go back to press next week. I leave on Tuesday." You stopped laughing. 

"For how long?"

"I'm always gonna be away for the same amount of time, Y/N, you know that. I'll be back mid October." 

October? It was only the beginning of April.

"Well, I'll be back in London for a few days in July so you'll have that. Press ends around September, but I need to finish up Chaos Walking. I'll be here for Halloween though," he smiled encouragingly.

You nodded. "Okay.. do great things, Tommy," you always told him.

Friday rolled around, and you you were going to close the shop early for your night with Tom, but he was going out, so your plans were out the window. Instead, [your best friend] would be coming over at around eight. Tom would be gone by that time, right?

It didn't matter, because he wasn't even home when you got back from work. It was barely seven, you two usually had dinner together. Well, not this past week because he had plans with Harrison, and his brothers, and Andrew, and Tuwaine...and practically everyone else. Seeing as you had about an hour, you decided to shower, changing into some casual clothes. Tom was going clubbing... he wouldn't be back before 4 A.M., right? You didn't care, [your best friend] would spend the night anyways. You had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

You were wearing a cute tank, your favorite sleepwear, and some loose sweat pants. You were drying your hair with a towel when the doorbell rang. It rang again, so with the towel in your hand you ran down the stairs, yelling, "just a second," but it rang again. You swung the door open, confused, because [your best friend] always came in unannounced because you two were completely comfortable with each other. Instead, you were met with the boy from the cafe, Andrew. You looked around, and saw Tom's car parked by the curb, Tom waiting in the driver's seat while talking to someone in the back.

"Hey, Tom texted you or- whatever. We're going clubbing, can you get his stuff?"

"Uhm.. stuff?"

"Yeah.. he said you'd put his stuff inna backpack so he could get ready at my place," he answered confidently, as if you knew about this.

"I'm- uh, sorry? I don't have anything," you answered.

"What?" his eyes were wide with annoyance and disbelief.

The car honked, and Andrew turned around, shrugging his shoulder and mouthing something to Tom, before Tom came out and up to you.

"Didn't you get my text, Y/N? About the stuff sitting on my dresser?" he asked, straight up without so much as a 'hello' or 'how're you?'.

"No, I- no. No I didn't get your text, Tom."

"Well-"

"Well?" you interrupted.

"Thanks for, nothing I guess," he responded, moving past you and into the house to retrieve his things. Once again, you were left with Andrew on your porch, only this time he was eyeing you up and down, winking at you before yelling to Tom and going back to the car, Tom following not long after. This time, he didn't even bother saying goodbye on his way out. Just as they drove off, [your best friend] walked up.

"What the hell was that?" she shrieked.

"What?"

"That whole, 'thanks for nothing' bullshit. What kind of boyfriend thinks he can say that to his girlfriend?!"

You started heading in, taking one of her bags with you as she followed you inside. Placing her things down, you turned around, giving her a bear hug which she gladly returned.

"It wasn't that bad. Besides, he's been worse this week," you explained.

She was silent for a moment, shaking her head before talking. "Okay, I see why you called for a girl's night on such short notice. C'mon, lets get changed into some pajamas and get the snacks ready. It's been far too long since we've had actual time with each other," she gave you a sentimental smile, soft and sweet. You nodded, already planning on what to get and where to make the fort of blankets you already knew she wanted.

About half an hour later, she was in comfortable clothes, and you were in the kitchen making hot chocolate, getting chips and dip and pretzels and candy and everything in between. You had both decided to use the guest bedroom, which was accompanied with it's own bathroom. The room was probably a little smaller than the master bedroom, which was normal, but the bathroom was more expensive than yours. Plus, this one was used when the boys came over, so the Xbox, all the video games, movies, and the music equipment was here. Even with all this expensive stuff, the room was still as big as ever, so putting a fort in front of the bed barely took up any space.

You had to make at least three trips for all the food and stuff you were bringing, and because this was a guest bedroom, it had a mini refrigerator. Both of you decided to keep it pg-13, no alcohol or rated-R movies. Tonight, it was a Disney marathon with hot cocoa. At around 11:30, you had just finished your third movie, Beauty and the Beast, when [your best friend] stopped the ending credits and turned to you.

"Before we watch anything else," she turned to you while you did the same, "let's talk. We can fall asleep watching Disney, but we can't fall asleep and keep talking," you interrupted her, laughing, before nodding away. "So.. what's going on? With Tom, I mean, because you mentioned that he was worse earlier this week than he was today, and tonight he was pretty nasty so I mean- yeah, what else has he done?"

You paused, looking down and sighing, giving in. "Well, it started with Andrew, some 'old friend' he wanted to catch up with. I gave Tom some cupcakes and tea from the shop to eat with him. I was on my lunch break when the boys came into the same cafe and started eating. They didn't like it and- well.. they sorta threw it out after gagging about it," you said. Her eyes went wide. "I don't know, [best friend's nickname], I mean at first I was stunned, hurt obviously because it seemed to be on purpose because Tom knows I always go to that cafe on my lunch break. Is it a coincidence that he came to the same cafe at the exact same time I have my lunch break?"

You went on to explain how Tom had cancelled two dinner dates and a movie night within the past two weeks, and that he was going clubbing without inviting you, cancelling his weekly cupcake order and calling you clingy after you texted him about making sure he ate dinner. Not to mention he only just mentioned him leaving next week on a press tour, and spending his only day off with Andrew even though you two had planned spending that day together for a month.

By the time you were done listing off all the reasons, you were sobbing into [your best friend's] chest, trying to catch your breath. It was too late though, because Tom wasn't here and the events leading up to an attack like this could have only been noticed by him, seeing as [your best friend] wasn't here to see them herself. You couldn't hear anything, your pounding heart being the only thing filling your ears. [Your best friend's] attempt to calm you down wasn't working, resorting to the breathing exercises which were slowly drowned out. You could't even get a breath in. The realization hit you: if you didn't take control, you would faint. You had never had an attack this intense in at least four months, so everything needed to help you would take too long to get.

You gripped her arm, unable to focus on anything except for the fact that you were going to faint.

"I'm here, Y/N, I'm right here. It's going to be okay, right? We're gonna work things out. Yeah? Everything's gonna be alright. We're gonna be alright. We'll be alright," she cooed.

You blacked out, only for about two minutes, but you did. When you woke, you sobbed again, finding a steady breath before completely crushing [your best friend] with a hug, gripping her tightly.

"Thank you," you whispered.

She got you settled, convincing you to snack lightly before brushing your teeth, making sure you drank water. The fort was ready, untouched since your movie marathon, so you both climbed in and fell asleep watching Disney.

Four hours later, it was four o'clock in the morning, and the front door slammed shut.

"Y/N!" Tom slurred, dragging out the last syllable of your name. "Y/N!" he repeated, the same way but louder. "Where the fu-! OH! OW!" he screamed.

You and [your best friend] were already starting to sit up, confusion spreading across your faces before she got up, following her directly after. She opened the bedroom the door, and you stepped out, making your way down the stairs and seeing Tom sitting on the ground, missing a shoe with a rip on his shirt sleeve.

"There you are! I wus at the club a-and Andrew and I were hanging out and he took home some girl- he said if he was getting laid that I should come home and get laid by my lame-ass girlfriend, so come here! Fuck me!" he slurred, talking too loudly for your liking.

"Did you just call her a lame-"

"Tom, you're drunk. Go to bed," you cut her off, knowing how protective she would get. Honestly, you wanted her to scream and shout and yell at him, and you wanted to join her. But if you were going to, you wanted him to be completely sober so the guilt would really sink in.

"No wonder you're a lame-ass," he muttered.

"What was that?" [your best friend] yelled.

"Nothing! I'm going up to bed, see?" He looked at both of you before running up the stairs like a kid.

You both stood there, a little hesitant, before going up the stairs, talking on your way.

"Y/N, I swear if you hit him, you better knock some sense into him because that boy is so ridiculously stupid and undeserving of your love."

You laughed, growing quiet because you were beginning to think she was right. 

The next morning, you and [your best friend] got up at nine to make pancakes and bacon, your usual sleepover breakfast. The speaker was playing One Direction, both of you singing and slightly dancing when Tom came downstairs, disheveled and hungover.

It was Saturday, his last Saturday with you, but it had taken him too long to get interested in hanging out with his girlfriend. "Hey, Y/N. Wanna do something today?" he asked.

[Your best friend] looked at you, but you had already made up your mind. "Sorry, Tom, [your best friend] and I are going shopping together. Next time, though,"  you said, before putting your dishes in the sink and slipping out of the room, [your best friend] following you out.

That night, you and your best friend departed ways, telling her you'd call and let her know when she could come over again. You got home, and decided to put your new things in the guest bedroom, because your clothes from last night were still there. The mess, luckily, was cleaned up thanks to [your best friend], who convinced you to help with the cleanup.

It was nearly ten-thirty by the time you got situated. You were in a new set of pajamas, sitting in front of the tele in the guest bedroom on the floor, looking at all the new things you bought. You found this super cute sweater, and a pair of jeans [your best friend] insisted on buying for you. You also found a pair of shoes to go with an outfit you had planned in your head; it was perfect. People say your looks shouldn't matter, but you felt good when you looked good, so you loved fashion. Overall, you and [your best friend] must have spent at least $800.

At around 11, you heard footsteps running around the house, before Tom came into the guest bedroom.

"What're you doing in here? Aren't you gonna sleep in our room?" he looked worried.

You lowered the shirt you were looking at, making eye contact. You hesitated, "I- yeah... Yeah I guess."

"You guess?"

You just shook your head, trying to be playful with it, but ending up avoiding his gaze all together and going back to looking at your new things.

"Y/N?"

You looked up, "Yeah?"

He looked --  surprised almost? There seemed to be a glint of hurt in his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked.

You nodded, getting up and setting the shirt back in its bag, "C'mon, lets just go to bed."

He mumbled an agreement, turning around and walking to your bedroom. You left the guest room, closing the door and going into your room. It was weird-- to even consider it your bedroom, because you hadn't slept in it for about three days. The last time you did, Tom wasn't with you. Was it normal? Did all couples go through things like this? You didn't have much time to dwell on the thought, because you were already under the covers, sleep consuming you before Tom got the chance to talk to you about anything.

It was almost noon when you woke up on Sunday. Rolling over, you felt Tom's side of the bed empty. The feeling of the cold sheets didn't come as a surprise to you, he was gone every time you woke up even though he didn't start filming until around 10 A.M. . It was different this time, because it was your last weekend together. He was always at home on the weekends he wasn't away filming. 

You pulled the covers off you, walking downstairs into the kitchen where you were met with Tom and Haz, quietly whispering things to each other. You didn't get to listen long, for both boys shot up and stood straighter, smiling to you. You just looked at them, slightly rolling your eyes before grabbing some juice and heading back into the guest bedroom.

When you came down ten minutes later for breakfast, both boys were talking normally again.

"Just talk to her, alright man?" Haz spoke.

"What am I supposed to say man? I can't just go up to my girlfriend and tell her I'm fucking pissed at how she's been ignoring me. Not gonna be rude like her-"

"Woah- woah woah, Tom. She's not that rude. Just have a civilized conversation with her. It's easy, you're just overthinking it."

"Okay.. okay, yeah- yeah," he stuttered, turning around on his heal but abruptly stopping when he saw you standing in the doorway. His jaw dropped, noticing your anger immediately.

"Maybe I should go-" Harrison started.

"No, no don't bother. I'll go, it's obvious you both want it."

You turned around, going up to Tom's bedroom and getting a change of clothes, immediately putting on your jeans and the rest of your outfit, before Tom came barging in.

"No- Y/N, I'm sorry. Please, let's talk," he begged.

You ignored him, getting some more clothes, enough to last you two days, before going into the bathroom for your makeup bag and some deodorant. Going back into the closet, you grabbed your work backpack, making sure all your notebooks and journals were in it, before shoving the things you had in to join them.

"Y/N, please. I-  listen to me, please. I'm sorry, let's just talk. Talk it through, yeah?" he asked.

You looked up, talking rather emotionless. "No. We can talk when we've both thought our shit through, although I thought it was only you who needed to get their shit together, but obviously I was wrong. I'll be back after work on Monday, if you're even here to notice." With that, you moved past him, grabbing your phone and texting [your best friend], picking up your keys from it's hook and heading for the door. Haz was standing in the living room, and when you passed him he gave you a sentimental look, but you payed no mind as you glared him down, opening the door and slamming it in Tom's face, for he was downstairs too late.

About 10 hours had passed since you left, and Tom had only thought about you for two of them. Andrew and 'the gang' had called him, insisting that him and Haz join them for some fun. Tom had reluctantly agreed, much to Harrison's dismay.

At around eleven o'clock, Tom had had enough 'fun'. The guilt in him was killing him, but his anger for you was killing him even more. Telling Haz he'd be heading out, he drove home, getting into bed and thinking about what you'd talk about when you got back.

Monday had passed, and you were doing better than you thought you would be. You opened shop about 30 minutes early that Monday morning, knowing it was better to keep yourself occupied. It was [your best friend's] week off, so she offered to come with you to work, and 'volunteer' almost. She had quite some experience in waitress-ing , so you gave her that job. Around noon, Tom came into the shop, and [your best friend] called out, "Incoming, [your nickname]."

You looked up from the cappuccino machine, turning around to face the door Tom had just entered. The minute you saw him coming towards you, you spoke. Luckily there weren't that many people around who didn't know you, so they didn't react when you yelled at Tom.

"Get out."

"I just wanted to-"

"Get OUT!" you yelled, louder when Tom didn't listen to you.

He moved forward, leaving a Hershey kiss near the cash register, looking to you for your reaction. You picked it up, and threw it to [your best friend], who unwrapped it and ate it herself. He left after she pointed towards the door.

When you closed shop, you decided to head home, seeing as he was leaving tomorrow and you had obviously thought a lot about what to do. The only option, really: talk it out.

Walking in, you placed your bag by the door and went to get some water in the kitchen. Tom was standing there, staring into space. He noticed you come in, and immediately stood up straighter, obviously becoming more aware of his surroundings.

"Are you- are we talking now?"

"I'm here, yeah. Let's talk," you answered setting your cup down.

"What's your problem?" he asked. You looked at him like he was crazy, so he went on. "I mean, these past few weeks, you've completely ignored me. And when you did acknowledge me, it was a rather rude encounter. "

"You think I'm rude?" he nodded, and you scoffed. "Well I'm sorry you think I'm rude. You wanna know what I think is rude?"

"Look, I'm sorry my being honest upset you. But nobody said the truth was nice," he interrupted.

"Tom, what the fuck?"

"I'm just saying! Out of the two of us, you're the one who has more problems!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that you are always the one who cries over shit, and gets upset at little things," he answered. You looked at him in disbelief. "What I'm saying is you're over-dramatic and too sensitive."

"Oh for fuck's sake," you started. "You just- you just don't know when to quit, do you?"

"You said to talk! I'm talking!"

"You're being completely unreasonable."

"Am I? Because all you've talked about is how you think I'm crazy. Do you even have anything to say?"

"Fine! You want me to talk? I'll talk. I've been rude to you because you are the one who let that man you call a fucking friend insult my life's work. You completely agreed with him, took in my hate and didn't even stand up for me!" You yelled. Tom didn't know you knew about that, and he was about to interject but you kept going, "And to make things worse, you kept seeing him! Every single fucking week, it was 'Andrew said this!' 'Andrew said that!'. You cancelled dates to see him! Call me over-dramatic, but when your boyfriend cancels a date on his only day off, I think most girls would be pretty fucking pissed," you walked out of the kitchen.

Tom was in the living room too, following you. "Yeah, well I'm sorry I cancelled our plans, but we live together. Don't you think we see enough of each other because of that?"

"Wha- what?"

"Think about it! We see each other all time because we live together," he reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess you're right,"

"See-"

"If you were ever around, I would see you a lot. But you're never around, so no, Tom, we don't see each other a lot. I work too, remember!"

"Not like I do," he mumbled.

"What?" you yelled.

"Nothing."

"No, Tommy. If you have something to say, you better fucking say it or so help me-"

"I said 'not like I do'!"

"What? Because I'm not some movie star with his head up his ass, I don't work hard?"

"My head's not in my ass, yours is! All I wanted to do was talk things out, not get fucking blamed for things that aren't my fault!"

"Yeah? Well all I wanted was someone better," you quipped back.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"What have I done wrong! Please, enlighten me! All you've done is complain about the stupidest things!"

"So my feelings are stupid, now?"

"Did I fucking say they were?" he yelled, voice raising as he stepped closer.

"Sounded like it to me!" you yelled, raising your voice to meet his.

"Just tell me! Do you have anything else to say?"

"You- you really are stupid, Tom."

"No, Y/N. I'm not. You are, not even telling me why you're so fucking angry at me."

"I'm angry because I had my first attack in months because of you. You! The person who told me he'd always be there to help me through one, not cause one. I'm angry because you go out without even bothering to ask if I'd like to join you. A-And then you just throw it at me that you're leaving for, what? Seven months?!  Not to mention you completely stopped eating things from my shop because of a so-called diet? And you're off with that Andrew guy, who eyed me like a pervert even though he knows I'm taken. You know how uncomfortable I am with that! And don't you dare say you didn't know, when you're the one coming home drunk telling me he's picked up another girl and telling you that you should go home and get laid too. God knows you'd listen to him if he asked you to cheat on me. Not to mention how you called me fucking clingy because I was checking up on you. You want me to stop making sure you're okay? You want me to stop caring?" you screamed. "Because you say the words and I will fucking back off for good. "

He was silent for a second, only missing a beat, contemplating on if he should apologize or keep fighting. Because he didn't want you to be angry, but he wanted to win. He needed to win. "Yeah, I wish you would back the fuck off. You're always on me!" he screamed. "And I get wanting to be affectionate, but you're just fucking sickening. Too much love."

That made you stop. "You think I'm loving you too much?" you asked quietly, and Tom looked at you, really looked at you, after hearing the change in your voice. You were quiet, practically whispering now. It wavered slightly, your eyes were glossy and red.

"I- I didn't-" he started, but it was no use. The damage was done.

He knew better than anyone about your past, which had caused a massive buildup in insecurities that were inevitably killing you. When you met Tom, he had promised to discard each and every one of your insecurities until you loved yourself as much as he did.

"No, you did. And you fucking know it." You were walking upstairs, getting yet another bag ready to last you until Tom left for his press tour.

"No, no Y/N, I'm sorry. Listen to me, baby. I didn't mean it," he begged.

"You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it," you said, choosing a few shirts to shove into your backpack. "Your intentions were pretty clear, Tommy. I'll stop caring for you, stop putting in effort for this toxic relationship. I'll stop loving you, because right now, it seems like loving you is the one thing wrong with me," you said, finding some pants and your makeup bag.

You were making your way downstairs now, "Y/N, Y/N please. Please I need you. I can't leave us like this- not when I leave tomorrow."

"What 'us,' Tom? There is no 'us' anymore."

"What're you saying?" he asked, tears finally falling from his face.

"I'm saying it's time I move on from you. Moving on means not having you. So, we're done," you opened the front door.

Tom stood in the doorway while you gripped the handle. "So- we- we're.."

"I'll be out before you come in July," you filled in. With that you slammed the door, driving to [your best friend's] house, while Tom sobbed on the floor in what used to be a home of two people who loved each other.

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (v)

word count: 4.6k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of poor parenting and damaged familial relationships

series masterpost: here

a/n: and just like that we're halfway through!!! it's crazy to think about it. however, lots happens in this chapter so buckle up peeps

Soon Magdalene’s feelings are going to get the better of her.

She knows she’s heading down a dangerous path but she can’t help it. Ryan is like a drug she can’t get enough of even though she knows it will hurt her in the long run. Living with him has opened her up to the laid back, intelligent, incredibly funny man he is and Magdalene doesn’t know how she’s ever going to function in her own space ever again. They complement each other like two peas in a pod, and everyone else is starting to catch on to the shift in their relationship.

“When are you going to fess up to Ryan about your feelings?” Bette asks as the two of them sit on the lawn across from the university library. It’s mid October, but the weather is still warm enough that Magdalene eats her lunch outside. Her best friend decided to join her today, no doubt knowing that she’s feeling a little lonely. The Avalanche are in the middle of their season opening road trip and have been gone for nearly five days. Ryan’s condo feels empty without him in it, and Magdalene misses him an unfathomable amount.

“Never, if I can help it,” she replies casually, taking a bite of the turkey wrap that Bette brought her from Barn Owl.

The blonde scoffs. “Fuck off. You have to. What are you going to do when he gets back from Florida and you tackle him as soon as he steps through the door.”

“Caligula will get there first,” Magdalene shrugs. “Those two are thick as thieves.”

Truthfully, Magdalene wasn’t sure what she was going to do. This is the longest they’ve been separated since she moved in and it’s proving to be a harder adjustment than she thought. Magdalene feels a little silly missing him so much – she went nearly twenty-six years without knowing Ryan but now he’s imprinted on her soul for the rest of eternity. Living without him seems impossible.

Bette drops the conversation then, almost as if she knows Magdalene is in her own world thinking about what to do. She mentions the upcoming home opener and her plans to attend with a couple of the other wives and girlfriends. “We’re going out beforehand and you should join us! I really think you’d like most of them.”

The bell in the clock tower rings, signalling the start of another hour, and Magdalene promises she’ll consider the offer as they pack up the picnic and say goodbye. It’s a short walk back to the building she works in, seeing as they were only across the street, but it takes a while for the elevator to come around. Magdalene could have taken the stairs down to the basement but they scare her a lot more than she’d like to admit. Hopefully June won’t mind her being a few minutes late.

Her boss doesn’t look too pleased when Magdalene strolls through the door almost seven minutes later then she should have, but as soon as she tosses the cookie Bette brought her in June’s direction all is forgiven. They work in near silence all afternoon, background noise provided by the small stereo in the corner and their respective grunts of frustration when an image doesn’t digitize properly. The university has finally decided to undertake the massive project of making all their school records available to the public online, and Magdalene and June are in charge of getting all the files ready before sending them to IT for installation into the website. It’s a huge task and is going to take them the better part of a month and a half to finish. Magdalene spends the rest of her work day finishing up a box of graduation records from the 1870s and leaves smelling of very old paper.

On the drive home she considers the invitation Bette extended to her. Magdalene knows she’ll be attending the game, having promised Ryan before he left that she’d be there, but she doesn’t know how to feel about going out for dinner and drink beforehand – especially with people so involved with the team. She isn’t like them, in nearly every sense of the phrase, and doesn’t want people to get the wrong idea. It wouldn’t be fair to Ryan for people to assume they’re together in case he ever does want to bring someone around, but Magdalene can’t help thinking that the speculation wouldn’t hurt. Perhaps it would be the clue that shows him how she feels.

The invite stays in the back of her brain while she heats up leftovers and eats quickly, knowing that Ryan will call soon. He’s like clockwork with his precise game day routine, and he always calls shortly after four o’clock when out east. Magdalene’s phone buzzes from the spot beside her on the couch and she quickly scoops it up and accepts the call.

“Hey,” she says, a little breathless because she’s so excited to talk to him.

“Hey yourself. How was work?” Magdalene can tell Ryan’s got a smile on his face even though she can’t see him. She indulges the question, telling him all about the stuff she digitized and what’s next. Though she always tries to get out of talking about work, fearing it will bore the daylights out of him, Ryan insists on hearing every detail Magdalene wants to share. He finds it all fascinating and tells her so every chance he gets. During her monologue Caligula wanders over and becomes extremely invested after he hears Ryan laugh at something Magdalene said. The small white cat jumps onto Magdalene’s lap and tries to paw the phone away from her ear.

“Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker. Little boots would like to talk.”

At the sound of Ryan’s greeting, Caligula starts meowing up a storm. It’s as though he’s actually holding a conversation with the man, waiting for Ryan to say something before he continues to make noise. Magdalene laughs through what could barely classify as a conversation until the cat gives her space to talk again.

“So,” she says, drawing out the word in an attempt to make Ryan laugh. “Bette asked me to join her and some of the other girls for drinks before Friday’s game.”

Ryan’s responding before Magdalene has finished uttering the last words. “That’s great! I think you should go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, “It would be nice for you to know someone other than Bette.”

Magdalene is surprised at the response, but tries her hardest to keep her tone light and teasing. “Why, you plan on keeping me around Mr. Graves?” She can tell Ryan is struggling to come up with an answer because there’s a fair amount of sputtering on the other end of the line.

“I’d be stupid to let you go.”

All the breath in Magdalene’s lungs escapes her. She didn’t expect him to say something like that, and it sends her mind reeling. What does he mean? Unable to process the comment, Magdalene makes up an excuse and hangs up as quickly as possible. She spends the rest of the night wondering if Ryan was trying to make a move and deciding how she should handle his homecoming in a few days.

☼☼☼☼

When Ryan gets home Thursday morning Magdalene is at work. Caligula is happy to see him, practically pouncing on him and purring so loud Ryan’s sure the neighbours heard the cat. For an animal so small, Caligula can make a lot of noise if he wants.

“Hi boy,” Ryan coos, adjusting his grip on the cat so he doesn’t get dropped while the two of them move around the house. “Did your mom talk about me while I was gone? Been thinking about her a lot lately.”

The cat doesn’t respond, of course, but Ryan finds comfort in vocalizing his emotions. Multiple times on the road trip Tyson made fun of him for the silent pining he’s found himself participating in since Magdalene moved in, and hinted that she might have said something to Bette. Neither of them are great at keeping secrets, but Ryan also knows they want him and Magdalene to get together and aren’t above manipulation to achieve their goals. He doesn’t know how Magdalene actually feels, but Ryan isn’t willing to risk losing their friendship. Just a couple of months ago she sat on the deck of the lake house and told him she wasn’t looking for a relationship – he has to assume that’s still her position because if he doesn’t Ryan isn’t quite sure what he’ll unleash. Though the two of them are close, closer than most friends, Magdalene stills keeps a lot of things to herself and Ryan doesn’t want to pry. When, and if, she’s ready he knows she’ll come to him.

Exhausted from the countless hours of travel he’s endured over the past few days and the pains that come along with being a professional athlete, Ryan falls back onto the couch cushions. He hurts in places he didn’t know existed and wants to do nothing but sleep. Caligula settles into his stomach, purring contently, and though he knows he should unpack his gear, Ryan can’t find the energy to move himself or the cat. Everything will still be there when he wakes up, and hopefully Magdalene will be on her way home. She texted Ryan earlier in the morning, no doubt just before she headed out the door, to say that she was taking some holidays to have a long weekend and would be home around noon. Sleep comes easy with Caligula nestled against his body, and Ryan dreams of Magdalene as he frequently does.

☼☼☼☼

Despite Bette telling her countless times she shouldn’t be, Magdalene is nervous. The significant others of the Colorado Avalanche are a tight knit group and are very particular with who they let in. Magdalene is a nothing, has no true connections to the team besides being Tyson’s girlfriend’s best friend, and she’s worried she won’t make the cut. If it wasn’t for Bette picking her up in the morning Magdalene would have found a way to get out of drinks, but the blonde made sure she couldn’t make a run for it.

Sitting in the elevated booth, she not-so-casually sips her glass of wine while Bette tries to calm her down. “They’re going to hate me,” she groans, lowering her head to rest it on the table.

“Shut the fuck up,” Bette counters. “You literally know most of them, and Livy will be here if you get too uncomfortable, but most of them were at EJ’s back in May.”

Magdalene can’t argue with the truth, so she rolls her eyes and finishes her drink. By the time she flags down the waiter for a refill the other girls have arrived. They take turns hugging Bette and shuffling into their seats. Magdalene feels awkward with no one acknowledging her, but she does her best to buck up and deal with it. It means a lot to Bette, and Ryan, that she’s here trying to make friends so she’ll at least make an effort.

A blonde who looks a little older than the rest addresses her first. “I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Mel. I think we met last season at a game.”

It takes Magdalene a second to recall the face, but then she recognizes Mel as the person who alerted her to the fight Ryan got into to defend Tyson. “Oh yeah,” she chuckles, though it’s still got a nervous quality, “You’re the one who was yelling about Ryan’s fight.”

Everyone looks at her like Magdalene had confessed to seeing a ghost. “What’s the matter?”

“No one ever calls him that,” a petite girl with tight curls explains. “We all just call him Gravy.”

“Oh.”

Magdalene isn’t sure what the comment is supposed to mean, or if it even meant anything at all, but she does her best to push it aside because Livy is trying to catch up with her. The rest of the outing goes well – Magdalene keeps quiet until someone gives an inaccurate analogy about Rome and she has to correct them. It may make her seem stuck up, but she really hates when people spread misinformation. Everyone laughs, and after that it’s hard for Magdalene to stay silent. She talks about work and college, but when someone asks about home she shuts down. Bette notices the shift in her behaviour before Magdalene’s face has even dropped, and shifts the conversation in another direction. Soon it’s a respectable time to head to the arena and they all pay their tabs, Magdalene going first and then ducking out of the bar that became crowded while they were sitting down.

The fresh air feels good against her skin, and she takes the time alone to regulate her thoughts. There’s still several hours until she can return home and cry in the shower over the mention of her family so it’s important to present a calm facade. Bette comes out slightly ahead of the other girls and checks in with her friend, but Magdalene assures her she’s okay. It was a bit of a spook, but the other girls have no idea about how fucked up her familial situation is so Magdalene can’t hold it against them. The arena is a few blocks over, so the group walks towards it at a brisk pace. Magdalene’s mind is still churning from the bar when they step inside, so she peels off from the rest of the group. Warm ups are about to start and she knows that seeing Ryan will help to calm her down, at least until they can go home and she can sequester herself away from the rest of the world.

She finds a space against the glass and strains her eyes for her new favourite number. Ryan hasn’t made it out on the ice yet, but Tyson gives her a big wave when he skates past. It takes a few seconds, though it feels like years, but Ryan eventually steps out, all long limbs and hair and dazzling smile as his teammates give him big hi-fives. Magdalene doesn’t want to intrude but she needs to spend a few moments with him to feel completely present. When he skates by she waves shyly, and Ryan doubles back once he realizes who it is.

“There’s my favourite girl!” he shouts over the crowd, making sure Magdalene can hear.

The phrase brings a smile to her face, which in turn makes Ryan light up more. “Hi Ry,” she yells back. “I just wanted to come and say hi.”

Ryan’s heart warms at her words, but he knows that’s not the only reason. He’s lived with her long enough to know that something is bothering her but he isn’t going to push. There isn’t much time to have a conversation, so Ryan takes the time to make plans for after the game. “You riding home with me?”

Magdalene nods. “Yeah. Bette picked me up this morning so I didn’t drive.”

The loud sound of sticks clapping against the ice startles them both, and it’s Ryan’s teammate’s way of getting him to refocus. Magdalene says goodbye and before Ryan heads back to the bench he flips a puck over the glass for her. She smiles brightly, and watches him skate away. On her way up the stairs she hands it to a little girl wearing a much too big Graves jersey. It makes her night, and Magdalene returns to the private box she’s watching the game from feeling much lighter than when she entered the arena.

☼☼☼☼

Later, much later, after all of Ryan’s post game media and sitting through the traffic of downtown, Magdalene opens up about what was bothering her at the arena. The two of them are curled up in Ryan’s bed buried under a mass of blankets with several pillows strewn about. It’s become a frequent place for them to spend time, and every time they lay down Magdalene rests her head on Ryan’s chest and he keeps her in place with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Magdalene’s clutching his hoodie tighter than usual, her voice small as she speaks into the darkness of the room.

“I didn’t just want to say hi earlier.”

Ryan isn’t surprised by her confession, but wants to know what caused the surprise visit. “No? What was it?”

Magdalene lift head and shifts to face him, propping herself up with an open palm. “It’s kind of stupid,” she mumbles, feeling dumb for even bringing it up. Ryan doesn’t want to know the sob story that is her past life. “But it’s mostly okay now.”

“You don’t have to tell me, and I don’t want to push, but I think getting it off your chest will help,” he whispers, feeling like talking in a normal voice could startle the girl in front of him.

He’s right – Magdalene knows it. Telling someone the truth, as much of the truth as she can share, other than Bette would do her some good. Her therapist once said Magdalene needed to work on letting people in, and she figures there’s no one better than Ryan. “One of the girls asked me about home when we were getting drinks, and it’s just a really sore subject for me. I shut down and just needed to see you to ground myself.” Ryan goes to talk, but Magdalene continues. “No one really knows, but I left for Denver as soon as I graduated high school. My parents weren’t the greatest, and I suffered a lot emotionally at home. When I told them I was leaving, they told me never to come back and we haven’t spoken since. So yeah, that’s pretty much it. And I just needed to see you to remind myself that I’m okay without my family. You’re part of my family now, the one that really matters.”

Ryan is speechless. “Oh bug,” he sighs, heart hurting for all the pain Magdalene has experienced in her life. “I’m so sorry.” He wants to scream for her, maybe even break something, but all his anger dissipates when he looks down and sees her crying. Silently, Ryan wipes away the tears with the pad of his thumb and holds Magdalene until she stops trembling. They lay in silence for a while, sitting with the weight of the confession she just made. At some point Caligula shuffles in and finds a spot at Ryan’s side that isn’t occupied by Magdalene. The three of them feel like a little family, and it’s too good for Magdalene not to do something about.

“Can I kiss you?”

She’s never been so confident while asking a question. Magdalene knows he wants to kiss Ryan, has known for a while, and after baring her soul to him it seems like an appropriate time to take the plunge. They’ve never truly been just friends and everyone around them, including themselves, knows it.

“Mags,” Ryan says in a gentle yet stern voice, “I’m not gonna kiss you. You’ve just been very vulnerable with me, which I appreciate, and though I really really want to fucking kiss you I’m going to take advantage of you like that.”

If it were possible, Magdalene’s heart would expand so much it would be close to bursting. “I promise this is what I want and that I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. So please shut the fuck up and let me kiss you.”

She leans forward to connect their lips, and it feels like a fire has been ignited in her veins. Ryan is soft and gentle with the right amount of grit to make Magdalene weak in the knees. They move in tandem, giving and taking where necessary, and by the time they pull apart for air Magdalene thinks she’ll never be able to kiss anyone other than Ryan. When he looks at her, eyes kind and glimmering with light, Magdalene is certain kissing other people is off the table.

Neither of them make an effort to talk about what just happened or what it means. Instead, Magdalene kisses him again, and again, and keeps going until she’s completely out of breath. There’s no protest from Ryan, and he looks as blissful as Magdalene feels. She rests her head on his chest again and he cards his fingers through her hair as they sit in the comfortable silence that surrounds them.

☼☼☼☼

Magdalene keeps kissing Ryan, and he keeps kissing her. It’s always in the safety of his apartment, oftentimes with Caligula in the way, but wholesome and loving and warm. They haven’t defined their relationship, and truthfully Magdalene is glad. She likes being friends with Ryan and doesn’t know how the added pressures of dating would affect them – though she might like kissing him more than just being friends.

It becomes routine for either of them to reach for a kiss before heading to the door. Magdalene gets one every time she leaves for work, and if she’s there before Ryan has to leave for games he’s pulled into her lips by his tie. It’s fun and it’s new and Magdalene never wants it to end. She keeps the secret for a couple weeks, but eventually it becomes too much to hold in and she tells Bette one Saturday when they meet for brunch at Barn Owl because the boys are away.

“I kissed Ryan.” It’s out of her mouth like a bullet, cutting through the air and ringing out. Bette is shocked, jaw dropping, only to open further when Magdalene corrects herself. “Been kissing Ryan, actually.”

“You’re fucking joking,” Bette laughs, still not one hundred percent sure Magdalene is being serious. When the brunette nods her head, she squeals in what can only be presumed as delight. “Shut up! Tell me everything!”

Magdalene indulges her friend, and spills every detail she’s willing to share. Part of her wants to keep a bit of her life with Ryan a secret so she does, but Bette is more than willing to work with the information given. She listens carefully while Magdalene talks and waits until there’s nothing more to say before diving into a long list of reasons why kissing Ryan is the best thing that’s ever happened to her friend. Magdalene isn’t sure that it’s great because Bette will always have someone to go to games with, but she is in agreement that it is one of the best choices she’s ever made. They spend the rest of the morning giggling like school girls over potential love and Magdalene heads back to Ryan’s place feeling light and airy.

☼☼☼☼

The first thing Ryan does when he comes home is kisses Magdalene. She’s sitting on the couch with Caligula on her lap reading a book, and he doesn’t even bother to drop his bags on the floor before leaning over the worn leather and connecting their lips. It feels heavenly after the days-long absence and Magdalene chases his lips when Ryan pulls away.

“I missed you.”

They’re three words that shouldn’t mean much, but coming from him they send Magdalene spiralling. He missed her? The girl who spends her days geeking out over old documents and talks to her cat? Regardless of how true the statement is she appreciates it, because Magdalene missed Ryan more than she could ever explain.

“How was the flight home?” she asks, twirling a lock of his hair around her index finger and pulling him down for another kiss. Ryan happily obliges, and kisses her until Caligula begins to meow for attention. The cat practically launches himself into Ryan’s arms as he rounds the corner to sit down next to Magdalene, and purrs loudly at being reunited with the tall man.

Ryan laughs at the animal’s antics before wrapping his spare arm around Magdalene and pulling her close. “It was fine. We hit a bit of turbulence that made it hard to sleep but I managed,” he replies, and reaches for the television remote. Magdalene hums in response, resting her head on Ryan’s shoulder and returning her attention to the book in her hands. It’s silent except for the low buzz of the television as Ryan reviews tape, but neither of them mind. Co-existing is enough for both of them, and it’s peaceful and easy. The occasional conversation occurs but they mostly do their own thing, enjoying the feeling of being together again. More than a few kisses are shared, and Magdalene eventually pries herself away from Ryan long enough to make dinner.

They stayed glued to each other until Magdalene falls asleep. Ryan doesn’t even notice when it happens, but eventually he tries to leave the couch to get a glass of water and finds dead weight on top of him in the shape of the girl he just might love. Magdalene’s snoring softly, and he’s positive there is nothing more adorable in the entire world. A glance at the clock on the wall alerts Ryan to the fact that he should go to bed too, and he begins to brainstorm how to get Magdalene into bed without waking her. She’s been exhausted lately, working extended hours, and he knows she needs all the rest she can get.

It takes a few moments to coordinate, but Ryan gets himself upright without Magdalene realizing she’s no longer using him as a pillow. Gently he scoops her into his arms and pads down the hallway, careful not to hit her ankles on the walls or door frames. Once inside her room, Ryan tucks Magdalene into bed and makes sure her phone is on the nightstand just where she likes it. She looks so content in sleep that he can’t help but lean down and press a shirt kiss to her forehead.

“Night Mags,” he whispers into the dark, wondering if she’ll wake and hear all the adoration his voice holds.

Magdalene stirs at the noise, and opens her eyes to see Ryan’s retreating figure. “Night Ry.”

It’s late, approaching two in the morning, when Magdalene’s phone starts ringing off the hook. Though Ryan has told her multiple times that she doesn’t need to turn her sound on before she goes to bed, she can never find it in her to heed his words. What if there’s an emergency somewhere and some hospital has to get a hold of her? Magdalene would never be able to forgive herself if she was too late because she slept through the incoming calls.

Despite her underlying fears of missing something important, Magdalene considers letting it go to voicemail. She’s exhausted, between the high maintenance projects at work and trying her hardest to go to every Avalanche home game she can, and if it’s urgent she’s sure the person will call again if they need her. It rings three more times before Magdalene decides to pick it up – if only to stop the incessant noise.

Not bothering to even see who’s calling at such an ungodly hour, Magdalene speaks in a sleep-laden voice that betrays what she was doing not even a minute prior. “Hello?”

Bette answers her, offering a quick but sincere apology for the time but explaining that it couldn’t wait. Magdalene groans in contempt, thinking that it most certainly could have waited a few more hours. She doesn’t voice her opinion however, instead waiting for her friend to spill whatever news was making her bounce up and down on the other side of the line.

She’s about to hang up when Bette utters a sentence Magdalene’s been waiting for but never thought she’d hear at one fifty-seven am. “I’m getting married!”

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @samsteel @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlouisbluesbrat21 @denis-scorianov @danglesnipecelly @c-tangerine @stormingroses @spine-buster @rapidfever @bb-nhlqueen7 (add yourself to the taglist!)

[riddlegecko]

perhabs,, early relationship, Paul wanting affection but being anxious and not knowing how to go about it?

Ceej, you understand me and my Paul hcs on a spiritual level, thank you for my rights and an excuse to write soft nonsense. It's uh... It's a little long.

Being in an honest-to-god romantic relationship was taking a bit of re-getting used to for Paul. He hadn't dated anyone since college, and suddenly wham, he's head over heels for a cute, snarky barista who seems to return his affections. It was odd, but no less wonderful, feeling his heart flutter in his chest whenever Emma so much as smiled at him. He hadn't felt this way about someone in damn near a decade, and then this beautiful 5'0 biology student walked into his life, and god, his brain just didn't know how to handle it.

Paul and Emma had started seeing each other around late October, hooking up in the Beanies break room during a Halloween party her boss Nora had thrown. It was mid-December now, a week and a half before Christmas, and things were still going strong between them. Though there had been... something strange on Paul's mind for a few weeks now, something that had never bothered him before in his past relationships.

Paul was a tactile guy with people he liked, something his friends all knew well. He was never sure exactly how he'd rank the five love languages as applied to himself, but touch was definitely his number one. Casual shoulder squeezes and light nudges were common gestures of his among friends, as Bill could easily attest. With romantic partners, this was cranked up a bit. Lots of light kisses to their temple or resting his hand on their back, stuff like that. It was always the easiest way for him to show that he cared. His partners... were never as tactile as him. It was very all give and no take on Paul's end when it came to physical affection, and he hadn't really minded it. At least, he was pretty sure he hadn't...

But now? With Emma? Her touch was something he actively craved. And it's not as if Emma never touched him outside of sex, far from it, she was probably the most physically affectionate partner Paul had ever had. She held his hand, kissed his cheek, cuddled up against him during movie nights, and gave him playful little jabs in the side when he was being a smartass. But she wasn't quite as casually affectionate as Paul was with her, and he couldn't help but wish she was.

And sweet jesus christ, did Paul find it embarrassing. It made him feel like some dopey lovesick teenager whenever he thought about it. Like, what was he supposed to do? Ask her to touch him more often? He'd sound like a total fucking weirdo if he tried to explain it to her. But still, he couldn't help but think about it a lot.

It had been a lazy Sunday evening, the one day of the week when neither half of the couple had work. And of course, they were... taking advantage of their day off, as it were. On Paul's living room couch, no less. They'd just finished up, and Emma had gone off to use his shower and whatnot. After washing up a bit, Paul had promptly put some comfy sleepwear on (because it was December in Michigan and Paul was not one to lounge around in the nude with temperatures like that outside), and was now absentmindedly channel surfing whilst laying on the couch.

Nearly half an hour later, Emma had emerged from the bathroom, hair tied into a braid and clad in a bright red hoodie that Paul recognized as his own. He couldn't help but smile, it was so big on her, and she looked adorable in it.

"Find anything to watch while I was in there?" she asked.

"Hallmark movies, a bunch of stock Christmas faire, and like three separate Harry Potter marathons," Paul replied. "None of which I'm particularly interested in watching, so we might have to retreat to the DVD shelf again."

Emma shrugged. "Hey, fine by me, TV edits are usually garbage fires anyway," she said. She strode over to the other side of the living room, where Paul kept his DVDs, and eyed the shelf. After a minute or two, she plucked a case off the shelf, snickering. "Monty Python: Life of Brian, that's a Christmas movie, right?"

"Absolutely," Paul quipped. "Anything can be a Christmas movie if you stretch the definition enough."

"Good, because I wanna watch Monty Python."

After popping the disk in, she turned back to the couch, and Paul sat up to give her some room. As she sat back down, Paul took in the sight of her. God, she was lovely. And she looked so cozy in his hoodie, it was hard not to find the sight of her absolutely heart-melting. His heart fluttered a bit, he was getting that feeling again. Unfortunately, Paul found himself staring at her instead of the screen for a bit too long, and she took notice.

"Paul?" she piped up, snapping him out of his trance with a befuddled smile. "You good, babe?"

Paul felt his cheeks flush. Had she ever called him "babe" before? "It's, uh... it's nothing," he stammered unconvincingly. "I just zoned out for a bit."

Emma, being the observant person she was, eyed him with skepticism. "You look like you have something on your mind," she noted. "What's up?"

Well, shit. Feeling his face burn hotter, Paul attempted to weasel himself out of this inevitable awkward conversation.

"N-nothing's up, I'm fine!" he tried to assure her, perhaps too defensively to sound convincing.

"That's the voice of a man who definitely has something up," Emma observed. She grabbed the remote, and paused the film before continuing. "Something's bothering you, Paul, I can tell."

"It-it's just..." Paul tried to begin, feeling momentarily reassured by Emma's soft gaze. But when the right words wouldn't come to him, he groaned and buried his flushing face in his hands. God, why was he like this? "Nevermind, it's really stupid, can we just watch the movie, please?"

"Paul, I know stupid, I work at Beanies," Emma retorted playfully, earning a brief chuckle from Paul. "Whatever's bothering you, it can't be any worse than the shit my co-workers complain about on the daily. I promise you I won't laugh."

Paul removed his hands from his face, meeting her gentle gaze once more. "You mean it?"

She nodded. "I'm all ears."

Exhaling a deep breath, Paul took a moment to think of how to word his self-imposed predicament in the least stupid way possible. Probably best to start small.

"Um, y'know how... when we watch movies or whatever together," he began, trying to force himself to talk above a whisper. "You'll like, lean against my chest, and I'll wrap my arms around you and play with your hair and all that?"

Emma nodded, looking somewhat confused. "Yeah...?"

"Do you think we could... do that the other way around this time?"

There was a brief moment of silence, and Paul was pretty sure his face had turned a shade of red that had only ever been seen by shrimp before. Jesus, that must've sounded so stupid.

"That's all?" Emma asked.

Yep, there it was. Paul looked down at his lap again, embarrassed beyond belief. "Basically, yeah..." he chuckled despite himself. "I know, I know, it's really dumb, and I probably got you all worried for nothing-"

"Whoa, whoa, Paul, slow down!" Emma cut him off, reaching out to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She smiled at him softly. "I mean, sure! If that's what you want, we can do it!"

Paul took another deep breath. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Emma replied. She leaned back on the arm of the couch, and opened her arms. "Come on, bring it in."

Still nervous and flustered, Paul slowly eased himself against Emma, resting his head against her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, even through the thick fabric of the hoodie. Emma rested one hand on his back, and began to thread her fingers through his hair, just like he would do with her. Paul felt a chill go down his spine. God, he forgot how much he loved having his hair stroked. He wrapped his arms around her torso, face still flushing like nobody's business.

"How's that?" Emma asked, undoubtedly noticing the ridiculous smile that had forced itself onto his face.

"Wonderful..." he sighed, finally beginning to calm down a bit. "Thanks, Emma."

"No prob," Emma snickered, still stroking his hair. "But before we un-pause the movie, can I ask why it was such an ordeal for you to ask me about this?"

"It's kinda hard to articulate," Paul explained, adjusting himself so that he wasn't muffled by the hoodie. "My, um... my past partners weren't really the, uh... the affectionate kinda types, y'know? So it just kinda felt weird to ask you to... do this... I guess..."

"...Well," Emma began after a moment's pause. "I'm not your past partners, so I'd be more than happy to do this more often."

"You would?" Paul inquired hopefully.

"If it makes you feel as loved as it makes me feel," Emma said, rubbing a calming circle between his shoulder blades with her thumb. "Then I'll do it anytime."

Paul could've melted right then and there. He was loved... In a somewhat indirect way, Emma said she loved him. Perhaps now was the time...

"Thanks again, Em," he said, slightly choked up. He craned his neck a bit to press a kiss to her neck. "I, um... I love you."

Emma briefly paused in her stroking of his hair, only to resume moments later, and press a kiss to his forehead.

"I... I love you too, Paul."

[hailbop1701]

Fleet Week

October 5, 2021 (Stabbed)

Word Count: 2,018

This one has to be one of my favorites! Not beta-read (yet I think it may be updated later on) but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

-H

Masterlist

Starfleet medical was bustling with activity, this was due to the fact it was the busiest time of the year. Fleet Week; like the days of old. Fleet Week was the tradition of being in a port town for shore leave. Now it was when multiple fleet vessels were orbiting Earth for some well-deserved shore leave at home.

San Francisco is sprawling with multiple different species with multiple different diseases, drugs, and STDs. So this means that the local hospitals were overflowing and doctors and nurses were at their wit’s end.

“Fucking Fleet Week,”

One doctor growled his southern drawl more pronounced after working the ER for the past seven hours after his regular thirteen-hour shift. Rushing in and out between cubicles of overflowing patients, he saw almost ten people in the last ten minutes. And he definitely saw more than he ever wanted to, but unfortunately, that’s the job.

Doctor Leonard McCoy scowled his way through the throngs of people in the Emergency room, upon seeing him they parted like the Red Sea. He looked down at his PADD with a grumble, the man he had just treated had shoved several data chips down his throat in hopes to hide the information from the police. McCoy rolled his eyes and signed the PADD before shoving it into the hands of the officer who brought the guy in, “Watch him closer next time,” he growled as he walked past.

Taking another PADD from the nurse who was trailing him. “Cube seven, multiple lacs, and a dislocated shoulder.” She said with pursed lips. McCoy stopped and looked at her and then the name on the PADD.

“Really?”

The nurse shrugged, “He asked for you specifically,” she crossed her arms knowing exactly how to deal with the cantankerous doctor. Throwing up his hands in defeat, Leonard strode over to the cubicle and glared at its occupant. Sitting there with a shit-eating grin was James T. Kirk. He was bleeding from multiple different deep cuts and gently held his arm to his chest,

“Hey Bones!” the kid greeted and McCoy snorted his brewing headache steadily growing worse and worse. The stabbing pain made him wince ever so slightly as he moved to examine his battered friend.

“Damnit Jim,” the doctor muttered. Kirk winced but laughed as McCoy gently poked and prodded at him. “I swear it wasn’t my fault this time!” the young cadet said hissing in pain when he accidentally jostled his shoulder. McCoy hummed sounding unconvinced,

“Yeah, who was she?” he asked looking at Kirk with a raised eyebrow. The kid laughed dryly and nodded, “Lucy…” he breathed and then frowned,

“Shit, I forgot to get her comm. number.”

McCoy shook his head looking exasperated. Clicking his tongue Leonard gestured for the nurse to take Kirk’s other side. Together they managed to get the cadet’s shoulder back into place. Jim gritted his teeth but otherwise didn’t make a sound; unsurprised McCoy took the hypo the nurse offered and unceremoniously jabbed it into Kirk's neck. The young man yelped,

“I thought you were supposed to do that before putting my shoulder back into place?!”

Leonard gave his best friend a smirk and shrugged, “I forgot,” he said innocently tapping away at his PADD. Jim grumbled curses under his breath, he slowly laid down, shifting uncomfortably as the nurse began to clean him up and place a regen unit on his lacerations.

A loud shriek and crash from outside made Leonard fumble and drop his PADD to the floor with a shatter. Kirk sat up quickly and groaned in pain at the sudden movement. The screaming and shouting continued, “Stay here!” he ordered his patient and nurse. Striding out into the bay McCoy swiveled and saw immediately what the problem was.

A very large man was rampaging through the ER. “Fucking Fleet Week,” he snarled. Rushing over to a sealed medical cabinet Leonard placed his hand on the scanner. It beeped and lit up green before opening with a low hiss. Grabbing a detox hypo and a potent sedative Leonard moved cautiously back into the fray.

The man was wrecking and tearing apart the ER was practically naked; right down to his skivvies. Leonard eyed the screaming snarling man as he quietly approached, ‘Elevated body temperature, confusion, extreme agitation, adrenaline-induced strength. He was either drugged or taking drugs, it’s similar to old PCP.’ he thought mind running a mile a minute.

McCoy froze as the heavily drugged male roared and kicked a biobed, patients, nurses, and doctors alike screamed and quickly moved out of the way. That’s when he saw it, the knife. Huffing a quiet sigh Leonard eased himself forward as quietly and quickly as possible.

When he was only a good five feet away McCoy stashed his hypos up his sleeves and straightened. He gave a shrill whistle gaining the attention of his new patient, the man whirled around screaming at the medical cadet. Leonard didn’t flinch, instead, he made eye contact and slowly raised his empty hands in a placating gesture.

“Easy now big fella,” he said keeping his voice calm and even. The man screamed and kicked a hoverchair out of his way; it missed McCoy by several feet but it didn’t make the security team that just arrived any less twitchy. “Easy, I just want to help. If you put the knife down we’ll get you some water,” Leonard offered hoping that the man’s thirst outweighed his need for violence.

The man seemed to relax slightly, he lowered the knife so it was by his side instead of pointed at McCoy. Leonard moved a touch closer hands still raised and visible.

“Okay now if you want that water, I need ya to sit down for me,”

The man looked at the doctor numbly before heavily sitting down on a gurney. McCoy breathed a little bit easier and tried to not focus solely on the knife that was still in his patient’s hands. He was almost standing in front of the drugged-out individual when his luck took a turn for the worst. The area had been silent, everyone was watching with bated breath, keeping silent in fear that the slightest noise might provoke the man again. They were right.

Someone stepped back, but by doing so sent medical instruments crashing to the floor. The noise was deafening. Time stood still, McCoy’s eyes widened as the man in front of him reared up like a spooked horse. Knowing he had very little time Leonard pulled the two hypos from his sleeves. Security fired their phasers, bystanders screamed and ducked for cover, McCoy called out trying to stop them. But it was too late.

The man was on the ground smoking, multiple phaser wounds covered his chest and stomach. McCoy raced forward and checked his pulse, there was none to be found. Growling he glared up at the boys in red,

“Bones!”

Kirks’s voice echoed over the revived hustle and bustle of the ER; doctors and nurses moved with renewed energy trying to reestablish some kind of order to things. Jim ran over to him but stopped short when he saw the body being lifted off the ground,

“You okay Bones?” Jim asked warily upon seeing the thunderous anger on the country doctor’s face. Tired hazel eyes met worried blue ones, “I’m-” Leonard sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

“Let’s finish getting you fixed up and discharged,”

Under normal circumstances, Jim would have groaned and moaned but he figured in this case he thought it would be best if he did as he was told. Kirk sat silently on his exam bed as Bones flittered around the room doing some unnecessary straightening as the regen unit was doing its work. Jim chewed on the inside of his cheek nervously, he wanted to talk to his best friend, to say something that would make him feel better but he just couldn’t come up with the right words. Kirk wholeheartedly blamed the painkiller he was on.

Jim sat up when he saw it, at his sudden movement and hiss of pain McCoy turned. He opened his mouth to berate the young cadet but it fell short. Leonard staggered feeling suddenly light-headed.

“Bones, you’re bleeding!” Jim gasped, Leonard followed his gaze. He was right, there on his right side was a giant blossom of red coating his uniform. Cursing under his breath he was beginning to feel it, the bloodloss, and now that his adrenaline was dissipating the pain and fatigue. “Damn he must’a knicked me,” he murmured sounding annoyed. Jim spluttered,

“We need help, why don’t you-”

McCoy held up his hand silencing his best friend mid-sentence. “No need to fuss, Jim, I got it,”

Kirk’s jaw went slack as he watched McCoy sit heavily on a stool and lift up his shirt. Jim blinked, sure he was inclined to a special male friend every once and a while. But Bones was off-limits. Only brotherly love there. Jim couldn’t help but think,

‘Damn Bones where did you hide the abs?’

“This puts a whole new spin on ‘Physician heal thyself,” he said aloud with a snicker. McCoy rolled his eyes. ‘This isn’t the worst thing I’ve had to fix,’ he thought with a slight grimace.

Leonard pulled his shirt up and held the ruined fabric in between his teeth. He leaned back and examined the bloody wound, grunting in annoyance he reached out blindly for the cleaning wipes that had been left on the tray beside Kirk’s bed.

Upon finding what he was looking for McCoy expertly cleaned away the blood only hissing at the occasional sting the alcohol made.

“Bones, are you sure you don’t want me to call a nurse or something?” Jim asked disbelief coloring his tone. McCoy curled his lip,

“No, they’re busy with half of the galaxy and their mother. I’ll be fine,”

Kirk cocked his head to the side only managing to decipher half of what his best friend said; his mouth already preoccupied with his shirt made him sound completely muffled.

The blood finally cleaned away despite more and more leaking from the open wound Leonard grabbed the portable regen unit. Flicking it on he carefully placed it on his abdomen. Sighing the doctor looked up,

“What?” he asked raising a single eyebrow at his dumbfounded speechless friend. Jim just shook his head,

“You look like you’ve done this before,” he muttered with a dry chuckle. Leonard snorted and nodded at the kid’s guess. Leonard let go of his shirt allowing it to fall and rest on the regen unit he held.

“Jim, I worked the ER in Atlanta. Things occasionally got a little hairy,”

Kirk stared at the country doctor like he had grown three heads and sprouted wings. McCoy snickered, “Boy, I’ve seen some shit in my time, ain’t no little cut is going to stop me from doin’ my job,” Leonard’s southern drawl became pronounced. So pronounced that it made McCoy wince and wrinkle his nose. Jim pressed his lips into a thin line, the appearance of McCoy’s accent meant the older man was tired. Very tired. He knew that the doctor hid his drawl almost as if he were self-conscious of it. Kirk remembered once hearing Bones admit (heavily drunk, mind you) that people tended to not take him as seriously. It may have been the twenty-third century but there were still biases.

The regen unit beeped happily and lit up green. McCoy lifted it away and examined the wound again. Grunting in approval he set the regenerator down and grabbed a thick gauze bandage, glancing up he gave a little shrug,

“Knowing my luck, I’ll end up opening it back up,” he muttered wryly. Jim snorted and shook his head, “Man you can’t say shit to me now. You’re just as bad!” he accused with a grin. McCoy rolled his eyes,

“Sorry Kid doesn’t work that way. I don’t go searchin’ for trouble,”

Jim barked out a laugh, “Bullshit!”

Leonard rolled his eyes and scowled hoping to hide the slight smile that wants to spread across his face.

Tags:

Everything: @lauraaan182, @chickadee-djarin, @cowenby2, @bluesclues-1234,@sayuri9908

WhumpTober: @theatrevicki, @ekna1307

[jmnjmnjmn]

Eternal beings | Chapter 1

Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x Human!Reader

Key words: supernatural, vampire.

Word count: less than 3,000

Warnings: swearing,  sadness, jealousy, mentions of murder

Inspo board

Masterlist

In the spirit of Halloween I decided to write a whole series about Vampire!Jungkook. I know should’ve been posting it throughout October and not on Halloween... Bare with me okay? There’s more to come.

Walking through the city at two in the morning isn’t as cute and mysterious as it may seem. The streets are empty and dark despite the street lights being on and every noise sounds like a forecast for something dangerous, especially when you're a girl walking home from work by yourself. You recently took up night shifts at the convenience store you were working at part time. Your boss was more than happy when you announced to her that you can work nights for half of the week. It was always hard to find people for those hours. With all of your classes at college being online this semester you had more time to work and earn money for rent and other things. You actually liked working at night, because there weren’t many customers then if any at all, so you had freedom to spend most of your time at work reading magazines, studying or sitting on your laptop. The only drawback of working at that time though was the walk home.

You pulled the steel grating over the door and locked it slowly in the faint light of the neon sign above the door. Before walking away you pulled on the padlock to make sure it’s definitely locked right. When you didn’t feel it budge under your fingers you turned on your heel and started speed walking home. Your apartment wasn’t further than twenty five minutes away from the shop and though it felt like a short stroll during the day at night it almost always seemed like a pilgrimage. “Fortunately for me-” You thought. “-the summer is in full swing and the nights aren’t so cold anymore.” You shivered at the thought of walking home in winter time. On the other hand the increase in temperature caused all sorts of shady people to come from their homes and clubs out onto the streets. For example you already walked past more than a dozen of drug deals and were cat called by drunk men leaving the bars so many times you couldn’t count anymore. And that’s only this summer season.

Despite all those unpleasantries you kept working and getting the money you desperately needed to pay the rent for your small flat and lead a decent life in the city. And because of those same unpleasantries you came up with a special system of walking home from work that made you a tad bit more comfortable and it went like this. First: leave the shop with earbuds in your ears, but no music playing, walk with big strides and your head up to notice any potential danger and stay alert no matter how tired you are. Second: walk only the bigger streets with street lamps and businesses on them, preferably ones that are open at night so there’s always someone to run to for help. That part wasn’t too hard since you worked right in the center of the city and lived close by. You smiled to yourself, thinking of the deal you cut on your current apartment. You were subletting from one of your college friends who left to study abroad for a year. He didn’t want to break the lease on his place and not have something to come back to when he finishes his studies, especially since his apartment was in such a perfect location for a young student. That led him to looking around for someone to sublet to and… Tadah! You got a beautifully furnished, one bedroom apartment right in the city for a price that was unheard of in that area. Only downside was that you had to vacate the place in less than ten months.

A loud sudden sound pulled you out of your thoughts, but what followed made your heart skip a beat. A sound so faint it was barely hearable, but clear enough to make you stop in your tracks.

“Please, n-no.” The voice definitely belonged to a male. It sounded as if its owner was struggling to breath out the words. You heard him inhale sharply and ask again. “P-lease, stop.” His begging words sent a shiver down your spine. Something really bad was happening around that corner. “N-no.” You felt your shoulders tense up. You didn’t want to get involved with something dangerous, but you couldn’t just walk by a possible assault or maybe something worse. You tightened your grip on your bag and started to walk back quietly. Your instincts started to kick in slowly as you made the difficult choice between the two possible options. Fight or flight.  “Flight.” You  thought to yourself. “From a safe place I will call the police. I promise.” You sweared in your head to the man around the corner.

“Stop.” Said a second voice also belonging to a man by the pitch of it.

“Please.” The first man said. “Please.” He repeated now with more strength in his voice. Within a second you heard shuffling indicating a fight broke out between the pleading man and his attacker. You started pressing in the police number on your phone and started moving faster as the noises started getting louder and closer to the alleyways exit. The very same exit from which you were trying to back away from.

“I told you to stop.” The second man repeated himself. Right when you were just about to turn the corner and start running to safety with the police on the phone two men fell to the ground in front of the alleyways exit. Both of them in disheveled suits. The older one, which you assumed was the previously heard beggar, was clearly losing to the other man. You made your last step back and tried to turn to the side to start running when you heard the losing man speak. 

“Help me.” He  croaked looking in your direction and blowing your already weak cover. Standing in the shadowy street you thought he wouldn’t be able to see you backing away, but he did and his attacker now saw you as well. “H-elp.” He tried to repeat his statement, but the other man pushed him to the ground getting rid of the bits of air in his lungs. “What should I do?” You asked yourself. The nerve connections in your brain made a snap judgment for you. The scene you had before you looked just as frightening as comical. What even was this situation? Two well dressed men, who you would think are well behaved and well above resulting in physical fights if you saw them in the shop you were working at, were playing some murderous tug of war right in front of you in the middle of the night. As you realised the oddity of the situation it stopped being so scary all of a sudden. “They’re just drunk office rats fighting in an alley.” You thought to yourself but didn’t put your phone back down in case things escalated to something more dangerous. You continued to back away when the standing man spoke.

“How many times do I have to repeat myself?” He asked in an authoritative tone, but you weren’t going to listen. You turned around and made a step to your left wanting to reach the main road again and get away from this bull. “Stop.” He said tiredly. You turned the corner and started to run before he could say or do anything more to you. You pressed the green button on your phone screen calling the police.

“112.” Said a female operator on the other side of the phone after just a short moment. “Hello. There’s a fight going on near my house. Two men. It looked pretty bad.” You said nervously.

-

You woke up the next morning around noon. Having already forgotten the events of last night you got ready for work. You were covering a shift in the afternoon at the shop for your co-worker Jimin. He worked there a couple of months longer than you, showed you the ropes on your first day and since you got along pretty well you became work friends. You decided not to eat breakfast at home and just grab something at the shop. Just like that within twenty minutes of you waking up you were out the door. 

The mid day was warm but you had your jacket in the bag ready to be put on in the late hours of the night when you’ll be walking home. You turned the corner to get to the main street and have a stroll to work in the sun when you were met with a hoard of policemen blocking the sidewalk. You crossed the road and took a different route than usual, not bothering to think twice about the reason the police were where they were right now.

As you entered the shop you noticed Jimin watching television on the small screen hanging over the cigarette shelf. The bell over the door rang when you closed it and Jimin instantly turned his head towards you, greeting you with a warm smile as you walked towards him.

“Great to finally see you.” He said, taking off his name tag.

“You’re only happy to see me today, because I’m relieving you of your shift.” You joked and he laughed quietly. 

“Only today.” He said smiling and let you behind the counter. “I have to run. Yoongi’s probably already waiting for me.” He waved you goodbye, grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

“Go. Have fun.” You called after him smiling.

You turned the volume down on the TV and cranked it up on the ancient radio on the counter. Jimin always watches TV at work while you prefer listening to music and shuffling through magazines or newspapers. You pinned your name tag on and started looking for a good read as a bell rang signaling an arrival of a customer. You picked a fitness magazine and leaned on the shelves behind you and started reading about “the benefits of doing squats”. After a couple of minutes the customer who earlier entered the shop came to the counter with his pickings. You scanned the last item when he asked you to turn on the volume on the TV. You pushed the “+” button on the remote and was about to tell the man the amount he has to pay for the items when you heard the speaker's voice on TV describe something horrible. 

“... A gruesome murder. Victim: a man in his thirties, possibly a nearby office worker. His exact identity is still being confirmed by the police.”

“Horrible.” Said the customer. “And so close by. Who would do such a thing?” He asked, sounding truly concerned.

“Twelve thirty, sir.” You said politely. That’s exactly why you didn’t like watching TV at work. This particular television set was about twenty years old and had an antenna so crooked it played only three channels, two of them being news. There was no day there wouldn’t be bad news. A natural distaster, an economic crash, a new riot or war somewhere in the world or, like today, a murder. The man scanned his card and left with his things. As the door was closing behind him you reached for the remote to mute the TV again.

“Estimated time of the murder is thirty minutes after two in the morning.” Said the speaker and you quickly put two and two together. Glancing at the screen you reached your shaky hand for your phone and started searching the internet for more information on the event. A cold shiver went down your whole body when you read an article header stating the place where the “gruesom murder” took place. It was that alleway near your building. You dialed your friend Taehyung’s number still looking at the screen, waiting for more details to be described by the news anchors.

“The number you are calling is unavailable.” You heard an automated message and hung up the phone. “What the hell do I do now?” You whispered to yourself. “I called the police last night and described the situation as well as I could.” You thought. “It’s not my fault they didn’t intervene… Or did so too late.” You explained to yourself. “Still, shouldn’t they have my number saved somehow? And shouldn’t they be calling me up right now for questioning? I was there after all.” You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea that you could have seen a murderer last night. “Maybe it wasn’t them.” You started wandering. “Maybe they left right after they saw me and someone else did… That.” Another announcement by the news anchors pulled you out of this train of thought. “Police just confirmed the identity of the victim. Thirty five year old (Victim’s name), an office manager at (Company’s name) was brutally murdered last night on Third.” You covered your mouth with your free hand when the picture of the victim popped up on the screen. It was the man from last night, the one that lost the fight. “His body was found by a passerby over four hours after the murder took place.”

“Impossible.” You breathed out. “I called the police right around two. How is it that they didn’t send anyone to check on the situation?” You thought and dialled Taehyung’s number again.

“The number you are calling is unavailable.”

“Shit.” You hissed. You really wanted to talk to a friend right now and figure out what to do. Taehyung was your closest friend right now, you knew each other from highschool and hung out all through your first years of college to this day. You dialed the police number once again in the last twelve hours.

[llogllady99]

We’ll meet again

CHARACTERS | Levi, Erwin, Gabi, Falco

RELATIONSHIPS | Levi x Erwin

GENRE | Angst, Characters death

IV | Characters death, talks of reincarnation, mourning, angst, heavy angst i think, Erwin’s grave

SUMMARY | It was the 14th of October and Levi had just come to visit his late lover’s grave: Commander Erwin Smith, dragging Falco and Gabi with him.

WORD COUNT | 2k

Droplets sharp like knives rained down relentlessly against the jagged and worn out headstones in Paradis’ graveyard, further eating away at the already damaged and weathered rock. Puddles have formed in the depressions of the little allies that snaked in between the graves, gravel and dirt mixing with the glacial downpour of mid October. Trees, specifically three or four oak trees and five pine trees that were placed in acute measured intervals, were dripping with water, their leaves ruffled violently by the gale that accompanied the rain. The clouds and sky were a dark grey, occasionally splitting when lightning broke through, immediately followed by the roar of thunder, silencing and drowning out every sound present in that moment in the valley and everything in its vicinity. When such events did not occur, the high pitched squeaking of a wheelchair and its occasional bumping into small, misplaced bits of gravel could be heard, accompanied by short and light footsteps following it closely could be heard.

In the terrible weather, that had decreased the visibility exponentially, three figures could be distinguished making their way through the alleys of the graveyard: the owner of the wheelchair, a man in his forties with onyx black haired and with an enormous scar deforming his once perfect face, and two children: a girl with chestnut brown hair the same colour as her eyes and a boy with blonde hair and hazel golden eyes. Their destination was still unknown as the boy had trouble following the instruction the man in the wheelchair voiced, his tone growing more aggressive by the minute, his excitement and eagerness starting to show. But as time progressed, their destination seemed to be at the far back of the cemetery, where a massive white marble head stone laid, seemingly unaffected by the furious torrent around it. It was the 14th of October and Levi had just come to visit his late lover’s grave: Commander Erwin Smith, dragging Falco and Gabi with him.

Seven years had passed since Erwin’s death but it still felt like it was yesterday. The pain, regret, and love were still as intense as they were when the man took his last breath, abruptly raising his hand up asking that damned question again before inhaling and exhaling shallowly. It was a cruel world they had lived in back then and certainly letting Erwin rest had been the best decision and one of the greatest gestures of love Levi had done for him. They all suffered so much, him most out of them all. There was no point in bringing him back and let those regrets and guilt pile up even more. Sometimes, selfishly Levi would allow his mind wonder and wish his lover would be there again with him, if only for a little bit, enough to witness the world they were in now. A world with no more wars and hardships. He would also imagine their life together: buying an apartment together in the centre of Mitras, raising a few pets together, getting married for real, adopting, and taking him to the ocean, a wonder which Erwin never had the chance to experience. Levi would have shown him all the weirdly shaped shells that Armin was so passionate about, the colourful fishes that swam where the water was deeper, and the way the sun rose from the water, painting it in vibrant yellows, oranges, and reds.

Levi had also told Gabi and Falco about Erwin, telling them about the greatness of his Commander, their relationship, and about his last moments. The children had been surprisingly understanding, Gabi’s prejudice’s long forgotten, and had offered him great comfort telling him they wanted to know more and actually meet the man, well what remained of him. Levi reckoned that there would only be his bones, if they had not turned to ashes those seven years, and maybe a phew strands of his infuriatingly beautiful golden hair, a feature of his which the raven adored. Therefore, here he was, looking down at the white marble headstones, emotions and memories flooding back in again. He briefly showed the children the headstone and then asked for a little privacy. With sympathy, they obliged and walked off in a random direction through the cemetery, each equipped with a black umbrella, shielding them from the torrential rain.

Now alone, Levi readjusted his umbrella so it sat upright without his support, then reached for the bag that rested against one of the armrests. It was a brown leathered sling bag which he took from Erwin a while ago. He had found the bag while gathering his things from his office when they came back from the expedition. Back then it had brought back memories of secret picnics in flowery meadows on their days off. Erwin always had to drag him by force because Levi didn’t know how to let go, comfortable in his routine. Looking back now they should have done that more often. He missed the whispered I love yous, make outs with flowers in their hair and dirt on their clothes, half-assed sandwiches stollen from the barrack’s kitchen. Now, besides Erwin’s cloak that was neatly folded and handled with the utmost care in his apartment back in Marley, the bag was a reminder that Erwin had indeed lived among them, that he was not some figment of his imagination. Inside it he had stored a mini wooden and golden gramophone. It had been a gift from Onyankopon, because the man had noticed his enjoyment and fascination with music. After carefully placing it in his lap, next he took out a small record that he gently placed on the gramophone. Looking back at the headstone he tried to imagine that Erwin was there, in his Survey Corps uniform with a warm smile on his face staring back at him. Levi lifted his chin, looking into his lover’s eyes, but to an outsider into pure nothingness. Now in a wheelchair, he was even shorter than him, albeit at his one meter and some hope, he didn’t have much to compare to Erwin in the first place. But now it seemed as if their faces were miles away.

“Listen carefully now big guy, I’m about to play you my new favourite song.” Levi smiled then proceeded to gently place the tonearm over the disc record. The disc started rotating, then the sound of trumpets sounded through the horn and into their surroundings. After a short intro, it sang:

We'll Meet Again

Don't know where, don't know when

But I know We'll Meet Again

Some sunny day

Keep smiling through

Just like you always do

'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello

To the folks that I know

Tell them I won't be long

They'll be happy to know

That as you saw me go

I was singing this song

We'll Meet Again

Don't know where, don't know when

But I know we'll meet again

Some sunny day

We'll Meet Again

Don't know where, don't know when

But I know we'll meet again

Some sunny day

Keep smiling through

Just like you always do

'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello

To the folks that I know

Tell them I won't be long

They'll be happy to know

That as you saw me go

I was singing this song

We'll Meet Again

Don't know where, don't know when

But I know We'll Meet Again

Some sunny day

As the song came to a stop, the disc record spinning slower and slower, a stray tear found its way on Levi’s cheek, streaming down fast at first but as it reached his jawline, it faltered for a little then fell on his shoulder, colouring almost imperceptibly the grey suit a darker grey. The gramophone, now ceasing to emit any kind of sound, was tucked right back to its fateful place in Levi’s bag. Rearranging it so that it rested again comfortably against the armrest, the raven turned his attention to the imaginary Erwin that stood motionless on his own headstone, staring back with the same vibrant cerulean eyes and soft smile. Usually, Levi would have felt unnerved by his stare, always reprimanding him with a “What you looking at, creep?”, but now he missed it dearly, the longing clawing at his chest and making it hard for him to go through with what he had to say next. So, ignoring the lump forming in his chest and the tears that threatened to fall, Levi opened his mouth and began to talk:

“Do you know why I like this song, Erwin? Because it reminds me of all of you. You, Hange, Mike, Petra, my squad, the brats.” Stopping to regain his composure, he inhaled and counted to three as Gabi had once told him, then continued his speech. “Do you wanna know what I did in the three years I wasn’t allowed to come to Paradis? I travelled. Like a lot. All over the world. I finally got to live for real. Getting to see all those place, the people, and cultures had been fascinating. However, one thing had struck me deeply: Buddhism. Such a strange name for a religion. And guess what, it has nothing to do with the walls or bad or wrong. It just is. One central belief of this religion is reincarnation. The concept had comforted me greatly. Life after death. Death is a natural part of the never ending cycle of life. Death leads to rebirth. It also claims that a person’s spirit remains close by and seeks out a new body and a new life.” Levi gulped then wiped away a few tears that had fallen. “But I don’t want you to find a new body. I don’t want any of you to find a body yet, I want all of you to wait for me. Wait for me, Erwin! Wait so we can start fresh together. Tell the others to wait for me too. Wait for me!” Levi had started to shout, desperation making its presence known.

He wanted to meet Erwin again, to fall in love with him all over again, to hold him, to be together again. If Erwin had reincarnated again, there was no way for Levi to meet him now, to fulfil all of his heart’s desire, and when he died, there would be no after life with Erwin. The only way was for them to wait for him so they can start fresh again.

“But who am I kidding? I only believe in this shit because it’s the only way to cope.” Levi brought a hand to his temples and massaged them, as another headache began to throb through his head. It had started to darken outside, they needed to get going, otherwise they would miss the ferry back to Marley. Hesitantly he called for Gabi and Falco to come get him. While he waited for them he told his lover one last thing:

“I have followed every order of yours, completing it. I chased Zeke for four years, all because I promised you. So, I also want you to promise me one last thing. Promise me we’ll meet again.”

The figure of Erwin standing on the grave vanished, leaving Levi alone. The raven rubbed away one last tear and greeted Falco and Gabi that were patiently waiting next to him. The three of them made their way out of the cemetery, Levi not sparing a look back. If he knew Erwin as well as he thought he did, he was confident they we’ll see each other again

They will meet again, one sunny day.

Notes :

The song for this fic is Vera Lynn - We'll meet again. I also posted it on Tumblr. Thank you for taking the time to read it! As always, I do not own Attack on titan or any of the characters that are in it. This is just a fanfiction inspired from the show! Thanks again and notes and comments are always welcomed. The gif was originally posted by @vialesana​ and Tumblr showed it to me.

[rappaccini]

tua season 1 rewatch, round two:

1x01:

last year's is more of a shot-for-shot rambling, if that's what you're into. this year's is gonna be a little different. stuff i mentioned before, i'll do my best not to repeat, unless it's to add context. this will largely be with an eye to the comics and how they were adapted or not.

and since tumblr only allows ten images per post (wtf), you're gonna have to bear with the timestamps here too.

0:00

"we only see each other at weddings and funerals" is a title of one of the comics, but it's the second issue, not the first. i get why it's been fronted to the first episode though: it's snappy, and the first issue of apocalypse suite is more of a prologue. that's how tua volumes are structured: the first issue is prologue for the plot that comes in afterwards.

for a pilot, you need to get the ball rolling. so you have to make the prologue the teaser, and then get to fifty minutes of plot.

this entire episode is really a combo of issues 1-2 of apocalypse suite. the buildup to, and the funeral itself.

0:03

so first off, we don't actually know if vanya was born in russia in the comics. it's more likely than not, but still not confirmed.

what is certain is that the '12pm, october 1 1989' birthday is a show-only construct. in the comics, we don't know their date of birth, but the time was 9:38pm

or even the year, though from context clues you can construe that the comics are set in the early 1980s, when the family are 30, rather than 29 as they are in the show. i'm guessing that this, in addition to plot convenience and aesthetic, is also the cause of tua's outdated technology: it's what they'd have had in the comics-verse.

(ex: a still-living kennedy meeting with hargreeves sometime after 1963, and 13-year-old allison watching kennedy's assassination as it happens). the children, in the comics, were born in the early-to-mid 1950s.

i think this change was to hammer home to the audience that the children were all born in the same instance. and the update in year was to keep things Relevant To Today.

which... might have been a net mistake in the long run. this series is ENTRENCHED in 20c popular culture and social movements. and taking those same characters and dropping them out of the context that defined them really made them lose their power.

ex: luther is an astronaut because he was influenced by the space race, which played out when he was a child. diego is a conservative crime-basher whose ideology is a reflection of the constant war on crime rhetoric, klaus's visual aesthetic is tied to the 60s and 70s alternative cultures that he'd have grown up in, vanya and diego were punks in the midst of the late 70s creation of the subculture, the comics are stuffed with five and diego hurling accusations of communism at each other because of the cold war breathing down everyone's necks-- and the cold war being the apocalypse everyone was worried about.

we lost all that.

and the show didn't even bother to update itself. they literally adopted the cars and phones of the 80s, the obama-era 'we live in a society where racism is solved!' trend tv tried to do and is in many cases still doing (yes that is exactly what they did, until they tried to switch gears in s2 for allison's godawful plotline; it was confirmed in interviews leading up to s2 that ~in our future, allison doesn't deal with racism and diversity is celebrated~) and stopped there.

2:20

as in the comics, we begin with the births of the children.

though in the show, we only see one birth, rather than 7+. which was probably done for efficiency/budget reasons. we don't see any babies die, because ratings.

also, in the comics, an unspecified number of mothers births 43 children, but in the show, it's 43 mothers who birth an unspecified number of children, which is an oversight that could lead to there being more-than-43 children if the twins are a thing, or a sign that five and luther in this iteration aren't twins. either way, oopsies.

this is also a scene that carries over from the pilot script, though there, the child is born in poland, and a boy and is heavily implied to be number five. (also to the vanya-and-five-are-twins stans... where's your boy. he floating in the pool? he teleport into the locker room?)

my guess is it was changed to vanya because she's the protagonist of this story (or was, @season 2), and we needed her as a viewpoint into the world-- note how we linger on her at the end of the teaser, and how her music ties it together, how her arrival at the mansion is also ours, and how we end with her as well.

vanya is the protagonist of this story. it's about the seven hargreeves siblings (luther, diego, allison, klaus, five, ben and vanya), but it's about five and vanya a little more than the rest of them. and it's about vanya most of all. it is about vanya finding her power, confronting her trauma, coming to forgive the family and returning to them to save and reform them by taking her place among them. it's hers, indisputably.

boy did season 2.... destroy that. for fucking fanservice.

2:47

(also, i love how 'extraordinary' is the first spoken word by one of our ensemble in the series, and it's used to describe baby vanya. some of this season was insanely well thought out.)

and i love the use of the narrator, here the voice of pogo-- i'm guessing was added after the title cards in the pilot didn't test well. i just wish it stuck around. why include it here and then never again?

3:18

this line of baby carriages is straight from the comics.

also, the fellow just behind reginald is abhijat, his bodyguard/driver and the children's trainer. he appears next in hotel oblivion, since he's been away in asia during the events of the first few volumes. i understand why he was cut from the show-- his role is easily assumed by pogo and grace, there are a LOT of characters to juggle, and we need to avoid confusing the audience.

still, miss him and his wonderful convos with diego and luther! hope he comes back in other versions of the story!

3:20

variable: the mansion in the show is a hollowed-out city block, instead of a gothic manor in the woods (which it is in the pilot script). i'm guessing this was just a shooting limitation.

i'm cool with it, because the mansion is still cool as fuck as this sprawling city block of hollowed-out buildings. there's more a quirky vibe than a gothic one.

though i also wonder at the implication of making the kids so close to the outside world, whereas in the comics they were truly isolated by high fences and an entire estate. sneaking out would've been a lot harder, yet they did it. which speaks to their desperation a lot more.

5:45

the teaser is largely the same as the pilot script, though it's re-ordered to a one-two-three-four introduction-- very clever, great way to help everyone get the numbers straight, as is the hiding of the numbers in the backgrounds of the shots [lunar station 01, love on loan 3...]).

though, allison and klaus's sections are different. my guess is the powers-that-be realized it wouldn't be entirely clear that allison is a celebrity or klaus is an addict from the jump, so they changed klaus's introduction from clubbing to rehab, and allison's from being in a nightclub (a shot from the og pilot, upper right) to being on the red carpet. i like the changes. more efficient. the teaser as a whole is a masterclass in visual storytelling.

also, allison being an actress is a massive change from her comic self. more on this in later installments.

and variable: allison's hair is dyed blonde in the show. it's naturally purple in the comics. i like that it's dyed more than it's naturally ultraviolet.

given that emmy also dyes her hair blonde irl, i'm guessing this was one of her inputs, and it does look gorgeous. i think it also works better for her character as a glamarous crowd-pleasing public figure, rather than a frumpy private citizen, to dye her hair a natural shade rather than a bright color.

(though i'm guessing the choice was made because either the purple hair didn't test well or they thought it was too goofy)

that being said i miss the purple hair and hope it comes back some other time.

9:50

everyone: look! the rain started when vanya noticed reginald died! even though it's clearly established that her powers Don't Do That and that the medication she is still clearly on shut her powers down, this is definitive proof that she controls the weather!

the writers, who definitely just meant that as a cool scene transition: uhhh....

10:40

constant: reginald always has a journal, in which he writes incriminating secrets about the children.

11:05

constant: ben always has a statue in the courtyard. and the family always breaks up after ben dies (though in the comics, it happens more gradually, with the family leaving one by one -- vanya first, then klaus-- and likely as adults).

variable: how the statue looks.

12:13

in hindsight, i feel like the 'bro/sis' aspect of television and film writing that we all love to dunk on is expository in nature. you have to tell your audience as efficiently as possible what peoples' relationships are and nothing's clearer than 'hey bro/sis'.

also, it's interesting in how in the show, they stress the 'family' aspect of the hargreeves dynamic, while in the comics it's 'academy' first-- even to the extent that they are forbidden from calling reginald 'dad.' i get the sense this was done to center the 'dysfunctional family' theming but i think it might've been a mistake, because this show's target audience of teens takes words more seriously than their context (see 'because they call each other brother and sister, the actual upbringing doesn't matter at all!' it's very post-voltron).

i think it was a mistake, in hindsight. or maybe there can be something to be said for combining both versions-- say, they start off by calling each other siblings, or reginald 'dad' and start to break away from that as they become disillusioned.

13:00

in hindsight, it's very clear that the 'how did dad die' plot is just padding to get us to ten episodes. it did the job fine here, but i feel like future versions of apocalypse suite could just zoom past it without a problem.

variable: in the comics, diego has one eye. in the show, he doesn't. i get that eyepatches are a pain for actors to wear but dang isn't it sexy how the disabilities get totally erased. allison's prosthetic arm, luther's mobility aids, vanya's wheelchair, and the guy who gets diego's prosthetic eye is a villain. woo. gross. i'd have been ok with it if there were some indication he'd get it later, but that's... not happening. so. hm.

+diego breaking into the coroner's office? straight from the comics.

i'm guessing the writers took this crumb and decided to spin it into a subplot to pad the runtime. clever, but not necessarily needed.

13:45

remember when s1 used characters digging at luther's weight to tell the audience that they were assholes. remember when s1 treated luther with dignity and didn't make fun of his deformity?

(,,, remember when the show actually let luther's deformity be sizable instead of shaving him and making his prosthetics smaller and smaller)

15:56

constant: vanya and pogo being exceptionally close when she was a child (but possible variable: them staying fond of each other when they're adults).

constant: vanya wrote an autobiography. variable: the content and intention behind it.

16:30

constant: five vanishes early on.

variable: how old five is (10 in the comics, 13 in the show) and whether he vanishes before or after the academy's debut (before in the comics, after in the show, probably so we can establish his power in the bank heist flashback)

variable: vanya and five being close as children. am i aware this is probably just to set up why five would approach her for help and nothing more? yes. am i declaring death of the author and sprinting with it? fuck YEAH. you dumbasses swapped viego with fiveya, and i'm keeping it.

17:25

on tua and the gothic... aside from the grandeur and the aesthetic of the mansion, the constant flashbacks really do solidify it-- the 'grand institution past its glory days, full of ghosts' vibe is so palpable.

tua is a gothic horror story. god the vibe was strong then.

18:40

the eiffel tower mission happened in the show -- note the picture frame behind allison-- it was just at a later date (they're ten in the comics, and it's their debut mission).

sigh. allison and klaus being close. one of the only things season 2 built on successfully.

+photos of reginald with henry kissinger. jeez.

+reginald is “not our real father” said by klaus right before luther and allison have their first interaction. the show trying to tell you What's Up but not going far enough. next time go for broke.

(also fuck you season 2 for making klaus the ~but its incest~ mouthpiece even though he clearly does not care and based on s1, does not see it that way)

19:30

the blocking really does say so much. klaus trampling all over reginald's space, while luther, the highest-ranked member of the group, clinging to one corner of the room because he's still nervous about respecting reg's boundaries. and allison, the one who got the special privileges because of her rumor, getting to creep behind the desk and hang out there.

also. allison and luther have chemistry, you crazies. even when i hated them as a couple i couldn't deny that. the eyefucking is intense. allison is fresh out of divorce court and ready to ride and i support her.

21:00

constant: luther and allison always have a romantic entanglement.

variable: in the comics, it seems more from allison's end until That Rumor, in the show it's mutual from day one. a good improvement and evolution that makes the relationship much stronger. keep it.

constant: allison always marries patrick and has claire with him. she always divorces him eight months before she arrives for the funeral. patrick always has custody.

constant: luther always knows about patrick.

variable: in the comics, he doesn't know about claire, or the divorce. and patrick also gets the house in the divorce (which is in the city, not hollywood).

and variable: allison is done with her rumor in the show, and not at all in the comics. this is probably just a plot contrivance to prevent her from ending things too early (and the writers absolving themselves of having to write a morally ambiguous female character) but it's a mistake that should hopefully die here with tua tv and not be carried over.

"i made a wish and it came true and i couldn't take it back" --- a cool line that in retrospect... kinda falls flat: allison made a wish for... her daughter to go to bed. oooh so scary.

oh and the alluther chimes/alluther theme is finished and released on the s2 soundtrack (track title: "luther and allison")! it's the only song from there i can stand to listen to because the rest are about fucking lila, harlan and sissy, and it's lovely! they also have the orchestral rearrangement of it!

22:00

constant: there's always a funeral.

variable: vanya actually shows up for it. this i think is an improvement on the comic, because in the show you have to extend the narrative to a full season of television, so you have to take this much slower. and, it lets us actually get to watch vanya become disillusioned, rather than jump out of the gate ready to blow shit up. the result is a much more empathetic take on her fall to villainy. (plus, we need to see her interact with the family to get how little they care for her)

the "old oak tree" line doesn't make much sense in the show, because there isn't one in the courtyard. but in the comics, that tree is part of the family estate, where they bury reginald. this is a holdover from the pilot script, where the house is a country mansion and where the tree is also present. i guess this line slipped through the edits.

variable: klaus's addiction in the comics is more subtle. even though we know right away that he's got a problem, it takes entire volumes before you really understand how bad it is. here it's so in your face that it keeps dancing a really unfortunate line of being played exclusively for comedy. s1 manages it successfully, s2 trips over it and breaks its teeth on the pavement.

variable: klaus's telekinesis/levitation, present in the comics and pilot script, are totally gone in the show. probably for budgetary reasons, which, fair. he has other powers, after all. he can afford to lose a few.

(.... well, then they suddenly become vanya's powers, which make NO goddamn sense and look ridiculous, so fuck you season 2)

and variable: the family isn't all white anymore. though there is a case that can be made for it in the comics, since a racially-integrated superpowered vigilante team operating in the 1960s would... not have been accepted by the public and especially not the government, i'm glad this change was made. the hargreeves children were adopted from around the world, so they should reflect that world.

if anything, we need to take it a step further. and by this i do mean, woc vanya.

24:27

constant: we always see the academy's debut mission.

variable: in the comics, it's saving the eiffel tower. in the show, it's this. in the pilot script, the robbery scene also exists. this being the academy's debut mission likely occurs for budgetary reasons.

variable: in the comics, ben is desperate to please. in the show, he's reluctant to use his powers at all.

and the overall dynamic of the family is affected. in the comics, it was allison-and-luther, ben chasing after them, klaus off on his own, and diego rebelling with vanya (with five being gone by that point). in the show, it's allison-and-luther, diego chasing after them, klaus-and-ben, and five rebelling with vanya. i love the change because it emphasizes vanya's loneliness, and diego's obsession with being the best (he literally robs his childhood of friendship and connection because of his ambition).

variable: diego's powers are projectile manipulation, not breath-holding. a change made probably bc holding-your-breath is a power that doesn't come in handy much, and people would probably just get it confused with the knives. i get it. though depending on how the comics shake out it might be a big mistake. we'll see.

constant: vanya always observes, and gets a moment of rejection by reginald

(+comics ref: the insignia on the skyscraper behind reg is the probably-villainous city media logo from the comics. said conglomerate controls the media, the papers, the cops, the taxis... god i'm excited to find out more about what's up there)

26:58

variable: reginald in the comics is simply buried in a coffin. in the show, he's cremated. this makes more sense seeing as he's a space alien who wants to keep his identity a secret, but the comics could have a use for his body being Right There ready to dig up, so we'll see how this turns out.

29:20

one thing that's sorely missed i think is the way the show knew how to just take a breather and let you live with the characters for a second.

man. it also makes the song moments more genuine because it's less a ~corporate mandated quirky dance montage~ and more an extension of character moment: it's a song that fits the scene in tone, context and lyric, not something added to be quirky.

+in the pilot script, the locket is vanya's. hm who knows who gave it to her.

33:32

constant: five falls back just in time for the funeral

variable: five falls into his 13-year-old body, being the age he was when he disappeared. five is 58 and not in his 60s, and five lands just hours before the funeral even starts, whereas in the comics, he shows up all alone days in advance and simply hangs around the house, waiting for someone to show up. i like this better. it's tighter.

+the kitchen scene seems to be a loose adaptation of the classroom scene in issue 2, where five chats with the family. albeit the content is totally different.

36:12

yes i know this is just exposition fuel to let us know what vanya's book said, and to set up five coming to vanya later, but boy if they don't show us they swapped the viego vibe out for the fiveya one.

but. tin hat on:

constant: vanya always has a pseudo-romantic bond with a rebellious pseudobrother who pushes back against reginald and the rules, and bonds with her as a way of doing so. feelings are caught, but the relationship is cut off before it can become anything, though the feelings are still there and bubbling under the surface and are about to boil over when they confront each other during the apocalypse plot.

variable: which brother vanya falls for.

(boy did the show Fuck Up by not doing anything with this. it's too important to vanya's character and her plotline. boy am i livid that they just spun up lila so diego could have this plotline without vanya and just left the fiveya vibe hanging unresolved. idiots.)

37:00

in the comics, diego hates mom (who has no name), and allison adores her. additionally, mom looks like... this.

i get why changes were made. since the viego vibe is gone, we need someone else for diego to be soft to to endear him to the audience. and there are limitations to live action in terms of how the characters look (see luther's deformity being downsized). mom might look too goofy in live-action if she were to be constructed like that.

variable: the funeral takes place during fall in the comics, spring in the show. because pilot season tends to be earlier in the year, and since filming takes months, you need things to look consistent (esp with tua, being a season that takes place over one week), it's easier to fake spring in summer than fall in winter.

(... is the 'they were born in october' thing because the comics were set in autumn?)

and ngl, i love the 'the apocalypse happens on april fools day' thing. it's so, so cruel and i love it. five's the fool. let's keep that.

and thematically of course, tua being about how the family begins to come together again, and setting it during spring... i like that. it wasn't intended at all, but i want to keep that.

variable: no fight breaks out at the funeral. the luego fight happens after the funeral. this was probably moved up to add spice, make the dysfunction apparent, and give us a hint of luther's deformity.

44:10

constant: vanya always takes medication

variable: in the comics, her meds have nothing to do with her powers. as far as we know she just takes them as an adult, and we don't even know what they're for (but given the context clues of her her popping a few right before heading into danger, probably anxiety).

in the show, they're the Big Bad Medication that is stifling everything vanya is, forced on her as a child to suppress her powers. i think this is a really smart evolution that helps us understand why her powers have been dormant, esp with klaus as foreshadowing when he uses to shut his powers down. however there are unfortunate implications surrounding the whole 'go off your meds and become your True Self!' thing. personally, i think the implications are worth the story point, but i get why other people disagree.

45:22

the guitar reminds me of the prime-8s, diego, vanya and body (a chimp detective friend of diego's)'s band from the comics. given there's no reference to it here, there's no viego vibe and klaus is the one playing with it, maybe he plays in it in the show.

honestly, i like that if it's the case. it's important to make vanya's isolation feel total, and as much as the viego vibe matters, it chips away at her being the constant outcast if she always had a companion and even had a whole band with him as a teen.

i like the compromise of giving diego his punk band but changing which sibling he plays with. i'd like to see that in another telling someday (plus, an idea for said evolution: what if it's vanya's idea but he uses it without her).

48:45

constant: five always murders a whole regiment of commission goons in a diner, with agnes bearing witness.

variable: this happens much later in the comics, at a place called costello's, not griddy's. no idea why the name was changed.

i support moving it up in the timeline, because with tv, you need to expand the amount of material you have. and honestly, the dallas arc being combined with apocalypse suite makes... a lot. of sense. and it ensures that diego, whose plotline consists of investigating that attack, has something to do for the season since his viego vibe was removed.

and variable: the family has a personal connection to griddy's, as a place where they used to sneak out together. in the comics, it's just some diner.

i like this change. it gives five a sentimental quality, bolsters the gothic theme, and tells you that the family could and did get along. and that while five was here, they included vanya.

and variable: the goons look much more generic here than they do later in the season, when they match their comics counterparts much more (the bright red gas masks). chalk it up to either budget or playing it safe. if the former, i get it. if the latter, get over it and go for it.

54:40

constant: ben's ghost is always following klaus around

variable: in the show, we learn this immediately. in the comics, it's not until klaus's overdose in hotel oblivion that we learn it

also ben looks totally different. a lot more nightmare fuelish.

maybe it's a budget thing. maybe it's that the show thought ben would look more down-to-earth in a hoodie and leather jacket than a shredded uniform.

either way the change is... okay. it's okay. it looks nice but it really does open a lot of plot holes regarding the mechanics of ghosts in this world. which are made worse in s2, so woo for never planning your worldbuilding out.

at least in s1 we can pretend they had a plan.

55:22

constant: five always approaches a trusted sibling for help with the apocalypse.

variable: who he approaches. in the comics, it's luther. in the show (and pilot), it's vanya.

in all odds, it's vanya here because she's our protagonist and therefore needs to be our viewpoint for all our big exposition moments, but in my heart (and almost certainly by accident in execution, assuming the COMPLETE scene-for-scene, beat-for-beat swap of the viego and fiveya vibes in the adaptation wasn't intentional after all), it's because fiveya.

and constant: we always end our first issue/episode with the revelation that the world will end in a matter of days.

variable: how many days we have left. in the comics, it's three. in the show, it's eight, because more filling. it works, bc we need more time for more episodes, but i'd like to see other versions of the story that shorten things up.

the comics, in their purest form, should honestly just be a series of movies. there's just not enough material to make a television show unless you're willing to pad. this. shit. out. which tuatv is, for better and worse.

so.

man. episode one still is absolutely fantastic. i love it to death. it's the smoothest and most well-written of all the series, and it does a phenomenal job introducing such a batshit world and cast in such an efficient way. jeremy slater built this house. steve blackman burned it down.

and for as many deviations as it takes with the source material... so much of it still rings true. if anything the changes thus far seem to have been made mostly for the sake of streamlining the adaptation, working with the medium constraints of live-action tv, and turning a six-issue comic series (plus its sequel) into ten hours of television.

that being said... you can see the cracks. for now, they're easy to ignore, but knowing where the show ultimately goes... yep.

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