#five days worth of posts......
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its gonna be shit scrollig people's blogs when I get home actually
#cat's rambles#cat's schoolposting#five days worth of posts......#ok I gotta get through asher lux fuck I forgot its name evan attie n starr
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so obsessed with how your cherik is old married couple raising 15 children (which is basically what they are tbh)
i always tell myself i draw what i observe and what im observin is two on-and-off divorced old men trading custody agreements like a diabolical game of ping pong
#snap chats#and i love them ?? i love them. wait im throwing up im thinking of tha tufckinnn post again#the fuckin 'why we can't save our marriage' 'we're saving our marriage' ITS SO FUNNY AND SO TRUE THATS THEEEEEEEM#i love old married peopel ...... holy hell guys .......#no wait you know what like. my Top Five magneto moments is its that bit from magneto was right#where he goes out to get holiday shit for the kids and he comes back in all 'i got literally. NOTHING nutritious for you guys'#thats literally my grandpa max he got them cookies for days i just know it im gonna be fucking sick he's soooo peepaw ......#IN ANY CASE. thank you my dear anon i will continue to draw them as sometimes-married old men with a Literal Schools Worth of kids
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Art dump except it's just Prowl in different quality depending on what stage of art block I was experiencing
Kept thinking about that rain world transformers drawing... I'm so normal about both of these so of course I had to sketch some stuff about it.
#transformers#transformers fanart#prowl#transformers prowl#copposting again...sigh..#the art block stages from newer to older btw#I feel more alive these days to the point I can color in stuff#clearly I simply can't stop winning#anyways Prowl has been on my mind for days now I even made a minecraft skin for him#I'll probably show it off in another post I need to record all of the animations I did for his wings in-game#I made both a regular skin and one that involves custom player models because it's fun as hell#(not as fun when this bastard broke AT LEAST five time in the process.)#(worth it but the longer I spent working on this guy the more I found the furious_businessman_punching_laptop.png relatable)
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Nancy Drew + text posts (37/?)
4.08 || The Crooked Banister (1/5)
feat. @gorgeoussimplehousecat ♥︎
#nancydrewedit#ndcwedit#nancy drew cw#the crooked banister#nancy drew text posts#ndcw408textposts#bethanyactuallyedit#I had hoped to finish this before the recent naceweek so I could at least participate on day 1 but alas#instead there will be a week of 408 text posts#yeah you read that right: FIVE POSTS' worth of text post edits for this brilliant episode bc I have many Emotions about it#thanks as usual to kelsey and corissa and shelby ♥︎ and to marissa for her text post!
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When Bean doesn't draw for one (1) day
(joking/silly)
#oc: bean#sona tag#technically I haven't posted for like five days but I was working on other things but I did take a break yesterday#my wrist and back were screaming after 16 full images kjdfkjgf#worth it tho and I am proud of myself for doing it#anyways I can draw silly little guys again#but which silly little guys I do not know yet
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Come play FFXIV with me. I promise I don’t bite… unless you want that.
#The game however DOES bite. Hard. It sinks its fangs in and doesn’t let go#and I love it for that#I have crossed the 900 hour threshold now#we are approaching 1k hours and I’m so happy about it#this game deserves every second of that time- and more#It’s the most fun I’ve had#The only downsides that I’ve felt so far are that I don’t have enough friends who play it-#and that a lot of the people who play it don’t seem to actually enjoy it? For some reason?#The kind of people who think ‘be critical of the media you enjoy’ means ‘complain about every aspect of the thing until it loses all joy’#I don’t understand the people who think ARR is bad#or something to just slog through so you can get to ‘the good stuff’#I’ve experienced some of ‘the good stuff’ now and you know what?#I still love ARR just as much as the day I found it#AND I love Heavensward. And I love Stormblood.#There’s no need to pit five bad bitches against each other#anyway sorry for autisticly ranting I’m just obsessed with this game#the point of this post was to say. You should be playing it too.#It’s worth it.
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Weightless
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#aloy#hfw photomode#i'm discovering +25 rotation as a surefire way to give myself motion sickness#but also take pics i've never considered taking before#this one is essentially the same i posted about two or three days ago#with aloy in melee combat with a scrapper at night#just different rotation and lighting and facial expression#(tbh it's five hours later and i still feel a little sick from taking this one)#(was it worth it? i guess so)
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I can already feel myself losing my voice LMAO it is going to be fucking dead by monday
#i am packing probably a year's+ worth of concerts into like. five days#lord huron red rocks x2 plus music festival#w them AGAIN and also noah kahan and hozier#um. tldr. fucking crazy#so much travelling. but worth it#however. rest in fucking pieces to my voice#and then i have college orientation ‼️‼️ not sure how i feel about that yet#banana made a post
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🌻
#i know i didn't just impulsively buy plane tickets to go to poland next month cos i'm already getting restless being back home💀#me five days ago: whew that was a lot of money and energy spent. so worth it but my god. time for both me and my card to relax#me now: okay but like. i deserve a treat🥺#okay well at least the tickets were very cheap and poland isn't far away andddd i'm bringing the man#...also just realised that this will be the first non-5sos related international trip i'll have taken since before the pandemic#i've been on five international trips post-pandemic and they've all been 5sos related. ohhhh that's...idk what that is but#it sure is something
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I don't know why, but every once in a while, I get the urge to watch random lore/timeline videos.
Is this just me?
#i have a bad attention span that sometimes 30 minute videos takes me 3 days#but there's times that i will watch 1-3 hours worth of lore videos#so far ive watched#five nights at freddy's#by the game theorist#sofia the first#by Athena P#my little pony#by daspacepony#steven universe#by ChannelFredrator#and ive also found out lore through seperate tumblr posts#talking about#fiona and cake#got curious so i read the timeline wiki of adventure time#and also separate fb videos about#craig of the creek
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I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan
#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace#Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board#Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game#It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me#No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online#Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics#With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better#Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something#It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that#After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing#I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game#Personality wise yes but strategically#I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think#I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing#I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha#I talk too much#Jing Yuan#Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again#I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature#I miss the five tags thing#Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts
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Just had to scroll through my queue and realised that maybe waiting for it to hit the limit wouldn't actually be a great idea. Anyways, I'm gonna work on clearing that out a bit.
#i.e. expect a few more posts per day than you had been seeing#bumped them both up to five#that should help my 800+ on one and 600+ on the other#had to scroll through more than 2 years worth of queued posts and was like... no.
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Literally transfem characters are five from umprella academy and majima from yakuza and tricky from madness combat
#Listen to my problems#thinking of how many characters ive turned to girls#the one thing these girls have in common is their love for violence#now hold my hand and imagine comic five rocking her gigantic white old guy beard#other tgirl characters are like mars and phobia who permanently set up shop in my brain. they just never left#imagine being way too hard on your oldest son and then she becomes your oldest daughter and youre just like huh ... i eidnt know you could#just switch like that. pretty cool. and then never think about your gender again. mars has that uncrackable egg appeal#also fives controlled downward spiral post apocalypse was so ...... like youre thirteen and youre the only person on earth left alive#you pick up a department store mannequin and give her a name you think is beautiful. a name. a NAME !!! something you never felt the need to#give yourself. you are simply five ... its not like you like that name but its. functional.#you drag this girl along with you even though its not worth lugging around desd weight not when you need to carry food and water. you dress#her up in nice clothes and you spoil her rotten. as much as youre able at a time like this. youve never done this for anyone else before ...#you cant be alone so one of you has to become two and thats an alright number. not the best but at least youre not so alone anymore#and thats how you grow up ... with dolores as company. you hear her voice in your head. you talk to her every day chattering on nonstop when#you should really save your breath. you cling to her because shes the only one who knows ... who gets it ... and when five waves delores#goodbye he knows he cant play pretend anymore ... delores is gone now so its just sad old lonely five who never really grew up#this idiot never once considered that he is delores ... he is delores. she never left him she is him ...#god i need to go to bed actully goosenight
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Nancy Drew + text posts (38/?)
4.08 || The Crooked Banister (2/5)
feat. @acesnancy ♥︎
#nancydrewedit#ndcwedit#nancy drew cw#the crooked banister#nancy drew text posts#ndcw408textposts#bethanyactuallyedit#I had hoped to finish this episode before the recent naceweek so I could at least participate on day 1 but alas#instead there will be a week of 408 text posts#yeah you read that right: FIVE POSTS' worth of text post edits for this brilliant episode bc I have many Emotions about it#if you missed the first one just click on that 2/5 in the caption above#thanks as usual to kelsey and corissa and shelby ♥︎ and to maria for her text post!
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time to make a realistic set of goals for 2023 i guess
#whimsy whispers#whims woes#unless the universe kills me in the next five days (fingers crossed)#idk what my goals are other than get a job and save money#study for and get my ged#I have to get my permit even if I don’t want to drive and then want?#I don’t have goals or aspirations of hopes for anything else#all the little things I use to talk about being hopeful for aren’t going to happen like I’m not going to be a librarian I’m not going to#live somewhere nice surrounded by my friends#my only plan is life as of right now is to be useful and contribute enough that people don’t grow tired of me and cast me aside#that’s like literally it#I just don’t know what to even do with my life or if it’s worth even trying to make goals and be hopeful#I use to get asked like what I’m hopeful for and to think of reasons to life but everything I said is unrealistic and/or not true#‘I want to live on a small house with cats and work at a library and be surrounded by friends’#see that’s just not going to happen and that’s not even an ambitious dream either#sorry I have to make one sad post a day or god adds more time to my lifespan :/#like truly I just feel like I’m barely running on auto pilot everything feels so aimless and pointless I like don’t have a real reason to#live but also I can’t just die#all the ways of dying are painful or won’t work#so it’s me waking up and willing the universe to just off me already which is sad boo hoo ig but god I don’t want to exist
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Every day I grow closer to throwing my phone into the river and when I do I won’t fucking regret it
#i have been. dodging scams all morning#i don’t have any fucking money please just leave me alone#my friendships have been rotten to the fucking core#my mind poisoned#what the fuck is the point in having a smartphone when a fliphone still lets people contact me but doesn’t fucking make my life worse#not that I could afford a flip phone anyway. or service. why would someone want to scam me specifically when I posted my account overdrafted#you can SEE I don’t have money why do you BOTHER#SCAM SOMEONE RICH YOU FUCKIN MORON#alas that the desperate make for such easy targets for the heartless#it’s been so hard to keep going and every day for two months something has happened to convince me it isnt fuckin worth it like its ONLY bad#but god or fate keeps dangling juuuust enough hope in front of me that I keep going. it’s been like that for eight years#and I’ve fallen apart in that time completely. my hair is gone and my teeth will be gone soon too#my bones and joints will follow suit they’re already deformed and weak#the ringing in my ears only gets louder. i haven’t known the familiar peace of silence in years and it’ll only ever get further#and I’ll never afford the medical or psychological care to actually help those things#why bother??? I’ll keep bothering out of spite and stupid foolish hope but I still don’t fucking know why I bother when it never gets better#and it might not! hope is called hope for a reason sometimes shit just doesn’t work out#i could suffer on for abother year or five just to have it all fall apart even more. no payout#hell does exist on earth for some people. if I die and there wasn’t ever joy enough to outweigh everything then my hell was real all along#and I will have been fuckall stupid enough to suffer it for years instead of dying in high school like I planned. or college. or after.#so many times life pushed me to the edge and I crawled back just for things to get worse. every time#and still I hold onto my hope like it’s all that ever mattered. and if life turns out that way maybe it’ll be all that ever did#false hopes and a terribly misplaced heart#fate willing we all find peace
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