#fitting since I had a huge crush on him at 8 and Patrick’s probably old enough he could have seen him in his last season

[fanfoolishness]

Lazy Sundays (Schitt’s Creek, David x Patrick)

Lazy Sundays were something that Patrick had initially resisted. Quite forcefully. “David, this is how it starts. Lazy Sundays. Followed by lazy Mondays. And lazy Tuesdays. You get the idea. Eventually we stop going into the store and we die, lazily, on the street.” But David, for his part, had given him an especially effective pursed lip and raised brow, and Patrick knew he’d lost. “Well, maybe…”

David had been delighted, and promised repeatedly that lazy Sundays would stay confined to Sundays only. He stuck to the bargain (mostly) and gradually Patrick grew to love those days, full of unstructured time for things like bingeing TV, puttering around the house, working on music, and sometimes, pure nonsense.

Like this. A very lazy two-person game of Truth or Dare on the couch.

David lay with his head in Patrick’s lap, a wicked smile playing around his mouth. “Truth or Dare?”

“Mmm…” Patrick considered the way David’s head pressed comfortably into his lap, a familiar, solid weight. “A dare might force me to get up off the couch. And I’m pretty happy with my couch situation right now. So, Truth.”

David’s nose scrunched thoughtfully. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me who your first crush was,” he said, only a faint hint of accusation entering his voice. “Quite the omission.”

“That’s a tough one. Everyone always assumed it was this girl in my kindergarten, Ashley A. Just because we were both really good at the monkey bars. A skill I still possess, by the way, not that you’ve ever asked.”

“But she wasn’t your first crush? Oooh, I sense a secret,” David said, reaching up and mussing Patrick’s hair.

“Aw, come on.” Patrick could feel his cheeks flushing. “It’s only a secret because it took me so long to realize it was a crush. I just… I just thought Nolan Ryan and his no-hitters were really, really, um, impressive. I don’t know how long it took me to figure out I thought he was handsome, too.” He remembered it clearly, watching the Rangers on TV, dazzled by the lanky pitcher’s form, the way he moved, how batter after batter struck out against him… that steely gaze, that strong jaw…

”Ahh,” David said. He nodded with pursed lips. “Uh, that’s like, a sports guy, right?”

Patrick grinned, brushing his fingertips against David’s cheek. His husband leaned into his touch. “Baseball player. He was a famous pitcher. Amazing strikeout record, and those seven no-hitters… the record still stands, you know. My dad actually took me to a game in his last season in Toronto. It wasn’t a no-hitter, but seeing him pitch even for a few innings, I was on top of the world.”

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be throwing any no-hitters,” David chuckled. “Especially since you’re never getting me into a baseball uniform again. I still don’t know you how you talked me into that travesty of a garment.”

“Hm, I think you did it because you love me.”

David’s mouth dropped open in an expression of mock horror, shortly before he rose up and wrapped his arms around Patrick, pressing a kiss to his mouth. “Well, obviously, but you don’t have to rub it in.”

Patrick paused. “I kind of do. As your husband, it’s one of my duties. As is reminding you when it’s your turn in Truth or Dare.”

“Oh, fine, Dare. You look like you have something in mind and I’m not gonna lie, I kind of really want to see what it is.”

Patrick gazed soulfully into his husband’s dark eyes. “I dare you… to wear that baseball uniform again.”

David recoiled to the other end of the couch in a split second, his arms flailing wildly, his expression this time real horror. “Ew! Excuse me?”

“I didn’t finish the terms of the dare,” said Patrick, holding up a hand. He winked. “I dare you to wear it… and then take it off again.”

“Oh.” Then, “Oh! Well! Someone’s naughty this lazy Sunday!” He smacked Patrick’s shoulder and bounced off the couch. “So uh, where’s that uniform, again?”

Patrick got to his feet, pulling David into another kiss. “C’mon. Let’s get you to the locker room.”

“Ohhh no no no,” David protested, skidding to a stop and starting to head back to the couch. “No sports innuendo or the deal is off —“

“Fine. No sports innuendo. Only because I love you.” He led David into the bedroom, unable to keep the grin from his face.

Yeah. Lazy Sundays had definitely grown on him.