#firstdayin

[vedazzlingac]

Stepping into Fall🍂🍁 with a BANG💥! #fallfashion #happycustomer #allsmiles #happyfall #firstdayin #ootd #styleonabudget #stylepopping #vedazzlingaccessories #creativelooks #creatives #blackownedbusiness #poc #wocbusiness #nyconlineboutique #onlinebusiness #igfashion #fashionlooks #autumnlooks #nycfashion #vedazzlers https://www.instagram.com/p/B2wk9e7Fage/?igshid=199xcmvrueuoc

[daniepicnerd]

H was such a good kitty. He knew I was in pain and came to cuddle with me for a 4hr nap. Love my boy. #catlife #kitty #kittycat #happykitty #catnap #iud #firstdayin #ouch (at Tacoma, Washington)

[thearticleofanaddict]

I Walked Away With ..

“It’s not about what you walk away from, it’s about what you walk away with”

So 2 years ago today I was sitting in this cell that was nothing but white walls, and me and one other girl I didn’t know, who wasn’t from my county. I had nothing of my own but a Bible. No letters, no pictures, nothing of my own that was from my home life that gave me any sort of comfort of any kind. I have never been more afraid in my life. This was my first day in prison and I knew it wasn't going to be my last. The lady at the front desk checked me in and then of course I had to sit soaked and saturated in some nasty lice shampoo and some oversized t-shirt while I filled out some paperwork for at least 30 mins which felt like a life time to me. The paperwork made me nervous as well, because I knew once I filled out my phone list it was set in stone for 90 days until I could change it again. My phone list was #1 on my importance list. Then I finally go back into the locked and loaded cell and the day goes on and if i wasn't driving my cellmate crazy for the next 3 days by walking back and forth and doing wall push ups every time 10th time I hit the wall, then I was writing my husband a long letter that later didn’t even get approved to send because he is a felon as well, and it had to go through some crazy process before that was aloud. So, I am pretty sure at that point I had a terrible headache and I was having an anxiety attack at the same time. With the lights being on at all times for 3 days it was hard to get sleep and figure our what time was what. By the next day I met with my counselor, Mr Valley. I swear he was God sent. And sadly he is going to make someone else very proud fighting for them in court as their lawyer because he left a couple months later for law school. He taught me a lot, but that is a story for another day. Anyways, to make a long story short and I said all this to say, I was always so worried about everyone and everything I was leaving behind. By leaving all that I gained so much more. I gained a wonderful job, I am gaining my education, I gained my family back, and I gained self love to where I don’t ever have to use again. I am not depressed and lonely to where all I have to turn to is meth or pills. I gained an understanding about addiction and how it effects me and my triggers and how to prevent and stay away from my high risk situations. I gained self control to where I don’t have to get so angry where i spin out of control and where I flip out on the people that I love and I push everyone that I need the most away. And MY FAVORITE I GAINED EMOTION REGULATION. This is very important in my life. My emotions have to be in-tune or I wont be. 

So, whenever you read this, don’t think about the past and about what you have left behind, remember what you have gained in place of that, and if it wasn't for those loses you wouldn't have those gains. 

I walked away meth & opiate free.