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vxlkyrie · 4 years ago

Text

through my lens

pairing: spencer reid x reader

genre: fluff (god so much fluff), friends to lovers!au

warning: mentions of alcohol, cursing

word count: 4.8k

summary: spencer comes up with the best birthday gift a girl could ask for – along with the best confession

a/n: hey y’all, it’s been a hot minute. i apologize for going m.i.a. for a bit and only reblogging fics and gifsets. i’ve been trying to give myself a little break from writing after finishing my classes for the semester, and then i found myself having writer’s block. but now i’ve found the motivation to write again! i’ve gotten into criminal minds during this quarantine, and became whipped for reid. so why not start writing for him? hopefully i can write more for him. and with that said, i hope you guys enjoy this fluff-filled oneshot!

everyone in the bau had their hobbies. spencer loves to read, penelope knits, hotch golfs on weekends – just to name a few.

when you weren’t creating profiles and catching unsubs, you were roaming around d.c. taking photos of literally everything. a rose bush, your lunch at the cafe down the street from your apartment, the beautiful cotton candy sunset. you were seen always taking a picture, whether it was with a dslr, a polaroid, or simply your phone. you also took pictures of the bau team whenever you all decide to hang out.

a night at the club? pictures of emily, jj, and penelope drunk off their asses while grinding on each other.

dinner after successfully closing a case? pictures of derek and spencer having a mini food fight and hotch trying to stop them.

christmas sleepover at rossi’s mansion? pictures of rossi cooking and the ladies making cookies.

jj’s wedding? pictures of the blushing bride and groom and everyone slow dancing with each other (until derek pulled your camera out of your hand and forced you to dance with everyone).

let’s just say you have a wall filled with polaroids of your second family.

photography has been a passion of yours for the longest time. although, when you first started in the bau, you felt like a burden you stated taking pictures of the team in their happiest moments. but over the years, everyone assured you that it was fine and even encouraged you to continue, which made your heart flutter.

but what made your heart flutter even more is when a certain doctor asks you for tips on how to get into photography.

“hey y/n!” a male voice greeted you while you were working on paperwork. you snapped your head up to see spencer giving you a small smile as he leaned on your desk.

you became close with the doctor shortly after you joined the unit. probably because you two were around the same age, but also probably because of the similar interests you two had.

he would come over to your apartment frequently for movie nights and whenever he just wanted to unwind after a case and didn’t feel like going back to his place.

the first time he slept over, you had to apologize for the lack of literature books on your shelves that were filled with scrapbooks instead. he told you it was no problem and found himself getting lost in one of your scrapbooks.

“no way! is that y/n in high school?” he practically squealed.

“what?!” your eyes widened as you ran towards spencer and attempted to get the embarrassing scrapbook out of his hand, only for him to lift it high into the air and out of your reach.

“why didn’t you tell me you wore glasses? you looked so cute!” he laughed as he looked up at the scrapbook that he held above his head.

“i looked horrible! give it back!” you whined.

“only if you can reach it.” he smirked.

“fuck you. you just had to be 6′1.” you pouted as the doctor continued to go through the rest of your scrapbooks (he especially enjoyed going through the scrapbook that was filled with pictures of the team).

and even though you complained the entire time he went through your collection, you couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach as your feelings for spencer grew.

“what’s up, doc?” you beamed back.

“nothing much. i just wanted to ask you something.” he said as he fumbled with his hands.

“yeah, what is it?” you asked politely.

“i-i want to learn more about photography, and i was hoping you could help me?” he answered softly as a tint of pink spread across his cheeks

god help me, he’s so cute.

“yeah of course!” you chuckled. spencer’s eyes lit up with joy as he smiled wider. “what do you need help with?”

“well, the basics, and what kind of camera to use. although, i’ve heard digital cameras have been getting more expensive these days. maybe it’s because more people are getting into photography. i’ve seen a lot of websites that garcia showed me where people are starting photography businesses and i- i’m rambling again, aren’t i?” spencer scratched the back of his neck.

you weren’t one to cut spencer off while he’s talking. mostly because he looked so attractive while doing it, and it still baffles you how that’s possible.

“it’s fine spence,” you softly smile at him, which caused his heart to speed up a little. “and honestly, using your phone is a great start into learning basic photography.”

“really?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“yeah, give me your phone,” you asked, holding out your hand. he pulled it out and handed it to you. “i know you’re like a technophobe, but this little guy is pretty useful, especially when it comes to photography.” you explained as you opened the camera app, showing him the different features on it. “now here’s a grid. ever heard of rule of thirds?”

spencer shooked his head, which surprised you.

“oh really? well basically...” you started to speak.

spencer started zoning out. he already knew what the rule was, but he just wanted an excuse to stare at you.

the resident genius has been in love with you ever since you joined the unit. and his feelings grew even more after finding out you both have a love for halloween and science fiction. but of course, he never acted on it. the poor boy was already shy enough, and after being rejected several times, he especially doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with you.

oh y/n, if only you knew...

“so overall, it’s a great way to line up your photos,” you finished explaining, turning your head to see spencer spacing out. “you okay spencer?” you waved a hand over his face.

“w-what? oh yeah, i’m fine. rule of thirds is my best friend when taking pictures. got it.” he blinked, making you chuckle.

“hey pretty boy, we’re being summoned by garcia.” a deep voice said as a hand slapped over spencer’s shoulder.

“hi derek!” you smiled.

“hey sugar,” he winked. “come on reid, let’s go.” derek turned to spencer. spencer nodded at the older man and started to walk.

“thanks again y/n!” he yelled over his shoulder.

“of course! if you need anything, just let me know!” you yelled back as you continued working on your paperwork.

“anything?” derek whispered, teasing spencer as they made their way to penelope’s office.

“stop. she was just teaching me some stuff about photography.”

“you are such a sucker for her. just tell her you like her already. we all know you both are in love with each other.” derek rolled his eyes.

“she’s not in love with me.”

“you have an iq of 187 and for what? you don’t have to be a genius to know that she feels the same way.” derek said as he opened the door.

“ah my lovelies are here!” penelope said as she hugged derek and spencer.

“what’s up baby girl?” the formal asked.

“i’ve already told emily, jj, hotch, and rossi this, but i am planning a surprise birthday party for y/n at rossi’s place!” she clapped joyfully.

“isn’t her birthday like a month away?” spencer raised an eyebrow.

“i don’t even think she remembers that her birthday’s coming up soon.” derek added.

“which makes this even easier,” penelope smiled. “the week of her birthday, we will be going over to rossi’s house after work and we will help decorate. the night of the party, spencer, you will be driving her to rossi’s. just say that we’re all meeting up to go to a club or something.” she quickly said.

“i guess that’s possible.” the younger boy slowly nodded.

“are you sure she isn’t gonna be suspicious that reid’s willing to go to a club?” derek asked.

“hey!”

“he’s a genius, he’ll come up with some excuse,” penelope said. “okay great. let’s go team! now get out please.”

spencer slowly walked down the hall that lead back to the bullpen.

what am i gonna get her this year? i already got her the whole star wars saga collection. this gift has to be more sentimental.

he bit his lip in deep thought.

then suddenly, a light bulb flickered on above his head.

that’s it!

a month passes by quickly when you're working on cases mostly every day.

there were a few times where you would have the day off or at least the night off after a long day at work. you spent those times with the bau, whether it was having a night in with the girls, checking out the costume stores with spencer (who cares if it’s nowhere near october?), or even a spontaneous night out at the karaoke bar.

the rest of the team have managed to sneak around during the week of your birthday, gathering party decorations and gifts, making sure everything is set up correctly before the big day.

spencer worked very hard on his gift for you, adding the finishing touches as he stored it in a closet that was filled with the rest of the team’s gifts.

set up for y/n’s birthday party – check.

and in a blink of an eye, it was your birthday and the night of party. the team was flying back from a case that took several days, and you want nothing more than to knock out on your bed.

“the night is still young! let’s all go out!” emily exclaimed as you all gathered your belongings in the bullpen. derek nodded his head in agreement, catching on to emily’s little scheme.

“hell yeah, i’m in!” jj responded. “how about you, y/n?”

“i don’t know guys, i’m pretty tired.” you yawned.

“come on y/n, you have to come with us.” emily pouted.

“what’s happening?” penelope walked in.

“we’re gonna hit the clubs, you in?”

“definitely. spence, you coming?” penelope looked at him as if she had telepathically sent him a message. spencer widened his eyes.

“u-uh, yeah. i’m in.” he gave a small smile.

“look y/n, even reid’s coming! you love clubbing with us. it’s gonna be a great time!” jj said as she held your arms. you sighed.

“fine. i’ll meet you guys in like two hours, okay?”

the ladies cheered in victory.

“perfect! let’s pregame at rossi’s and then we’ll all go together.” emily said.

“great! spencer, do you mind driving me to my apartment?” you said as you turned towards him. he shook his head in response and you both headed towards the parking lot.

get y/n to come over to rossi’s – check.

after you got ready, spencer drove to rossi’s mansion as you sang to throwbacks.

he changed into a simple black dress shirt and jeans (and of course, his converse) while you wore a black off-the-shoulder mini dress and heels. your makeup was flawless as well as your curled hair.

spencer couldn’t help but think you looked beautiful in this moment, and can’t wait for the surprise he and the team had in store for you.

soon, you two were parked in rossi’s huge driveway.

“she’s here!” spencer texted penelope as soon as he put the car in park. he ran over to your side of the car and opened the door for you.

“what a gentleman! thank you, kind sir.” you smiled and reach out for spencer’s hand as he helped you out of your seat. you two walked to the front door to see rossi standing with a huge grin on his face.

“hey rossi!” you greeted while hugging him. he grabbed your hand and opened the door and slowly let you in, with spencer trailing not too far behind. “where is everyone?” you asked as he led you to the dark living room.

“surprise!” many voices shouted. your eyes widened as the lights turned on, only to see your closest friends and everyone from the bau and their families smiling at you. even the kids were there.

there were balloons that floated onto the ceiling. foil curtains that filled up rossi’s wall (he wasn’t a big fan of it, but he was willing to hang it up because it was all for you). tables filled with drinks, food, and gifts. and don’t forget the banner that hung across the threshold leading to the backyard that read ‘happy birthday y/n!’

you felt yourself tearing up.

“oh my god!” you patted around your eye area. “i love you all, but goddamnit you almost made me ruin my mascara!” you yelled jokingly, earning laughs from everyone (even hotch).

“happy birthday!” rossi said as he hugged you and kissed your cheeks. everyone gathered around you to hug you, take pictures with you, and say their happy birthday’s.

“happy birthday, sugar.” derek hugged you.

“i honestly forgot that it was today.” you laughed as he joined you.

even spencer gave you a bear hug and a kiss on the forehead, which made your face heat up.

“happy birthday y/n.” he smiled at you.

you were in euphoria as the party went on. you were dancing with your best friends and the bau ladies (and derek) as music blasted throughout the backyard. everyone was occupied, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves, even spencer, who was having a beer while conversing with hotch.

“so when are you gonna tell y/n you like her?” he asked spencer who was looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. spencer turned his head towards his boss.

“soon.” he smiled, sounding very determined.

“as much as i love seeing you guys dance your asses off, it’s time for the birthday girl to blow out her candles.” rossi announced.

everyone gathered around the table as you walked towards the table, seeing a beautifully decorated cake with lit candles placed in front of you. they all sang happy birthday (with hotch recording everything), making you smile from ear to ear while trying not to tear up again. soon, you blew out your candles, followed by cheers. rossi helped cut the cake and distributed it to everyone.

“as soon as everyone gets their slice, please go to the living room so y/n can open her gifts!” he shouted. everyone obeyed and started to walked back inside. spencer’s eyes widened.

shit.

“you okay, kid?” derek asked, approaching spencer.

“uh, yeah?” he answered, clearing his throat as an attempt to try to hide his panicked expression.

“what’s got you nervous?”

“i-i didn’t know she was gonna open her gifts in front of everyone.” spencer practically whispered.

“why? what’d you get her?” derek smirked.

“i guess you’ll see.” spencer sighed.

everyone sat in the living room, facing you as you opened your gifts. every time you opened one, your heart melts even more.

when you opened rossi’s gift, you thought you were gonna pass out.

“rossi, i cannot take this!” you exclaimed as you held a box that contained a new camera. “this must’ve costed you a fortune!” you tried to give rossi the box, but he simply shook his head.

“you’re like a daughter to me, y/n. of course i had to spoil my child!” he said as everyone laughed around him.

“i can assure you buying that camera certainly did not put a dent in his bank account.” emily quipped. you thanked rossi with a hug and continued to open more gifts in your seat between spencer and emily.

you were curious when you lifted a slightly heavy bag from hotch. you gasped as soon as you looked inside to see a brand new laptop sitting inside.

“hotch, you shouldn’t have!”

“i know you recently broke your laptop, so i figured why not save you the trouble of getting one. you also deserve it after being such a great addition to the team.” he said, giving you a small smile as you hugged him.

emily bought you a ton of polaroid film and sd cards, as well as a bottle of wine – the key to a girl’s heart.

“these are exactly what i needed, thank you babe.” you kissed her cheek.

jj and will bought you a vinyl player along with a few vinyls from your favorite artists. they also added a few drawings of you that henry made that had ‘auntie y/n’ written on all of them.

“i am definitely putting these on my fridge.” you said as you lightly ruffled the little guy’s hair.

derek got you a pair of headphones (from the same brand as his) so you didn’t have to borrow his during the plane ride home.

“now we can both listen to our own music with our own headphones.” he teased, hugging you as you chuckled.

penelope’s gift had you screaming. you opened the box and moved the tissue paper to see a whole lingerie set laid out. spencer’s eyes widened as derek whistled, while hotch and rossi where trying not to laugh their asses off. jj immediately placed her hands over henry’s eyes.

“how did you get my size right?!”

“i have my ways.” she winked at you.

you had one more gift to open – spencer’s gift.

“you don’t have to open mine.” spencer whispered to you. you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“why not? i opened everyone’s.”

“it’s not as good as everyone else’s.”

“spence, it doesn’t matter how expensive a gift is. you could literally give me a fake plant and i will love it until the day that i die.” you smiled at him, causing his face to slightly heat up.

“well, prepare to be disappointed because i definitely did not get you a fake plant.” he said. you scoffed.

“come on spence, how bad could it be?” you said as you pulled out an object from the gift bag. you curiously looked at it.

is it a book?

“what is it?” you asked spencer.

“well, o-open it.” spencer shyly said.

you turn the cover to see a collage of pictures. it was a small scrapbook. you examined the pictures only to realize they were picture of you. you started blushing as you flipped through the pages and recalled where several of the pictures have been taken. you didn’t even realize spencer was taking pictures of you half of the time.

you were having a sleepover with the girls, drinking and crying over captain america. you heard a knock on the door.

“must be the pizza guy, i’ll get it!” you stood up. you opened the door to see spencer standing there.

“hey y/n! ready to watch the new season of doctor who?” he clenched his messenger bag in excitement as he entered your apartment, shocked to see his coworkers sitting on the couch while the tv played.

“that was tonight? oh spencer, i’m so sorry. i completely forgot.” you said, feeling guilty.

“oh, that’s fine. we can always watch doctor who another time.” he reassured.

“how about you join us spencer?” penelope chirped in.

“i don’t want to intrude on your sleepover.” spencer shook his hands in front of him.

“yeah, come join us! you’re already here, and i think you left some of your pajamas somewhere.” you raised your eyebrows at him with a pleading smile on your face.

how could he resist when you’re looking at him like that?

“fine.” he gave in as the girls cheered.

as soon as he knew it, he was listening in on the gossip as the girls did each other’s nails. you laughed as you smeared a green substance on your face.

“what’s that on your face y/n?” spencer asked, earning a few giggles from emily and jj.

“it’s a facial, spence. it’s good for your skin. you want to try it?” you asked as you held out the container towards him. he nodded. “you want me to put it on for you?” he nodded again.

spencer tried his hardest not to blush while your fingers brushed against his face. he could smell the faint scent of mint from the facial along with the lavender from your shampoo.

“okay, and we’re done. wait for half an hour and then wash it off.” you said as you both took a seat on your couch.

once you started paying attention to the movie, spencer stole glances in your direction, watching you react to the movie. he couldn’t help but pull out his phone and snapped a picture of you (thank god his phone was on silent).

he smiled to himself one more time before putting his focus back onto the movie.

“spencer, what are we doing here? it’s july!” you said as you two entered the costume shop.

“it’s never too early to plan your halloween costume, y/n.” he laughed as you looked at the masks that hung from the wall. he busied himself, browsing through different costumes.

should i be frankenstein? maybe i should go for steampunk this year?

“check this out spence!” your muffled voice caught his attention. he looked to see you dancing around while wearing one of the masks.

spencer laughed at you while you continued to dance in the middle of the aisle. he took out his phone and took a photo of you, not caring that your arms turned out blurry while you were flailing your arms around.

“that was fun,” you took off the masks. “anyways, what kind of costume are you going for this year?” you asked as your ran your fingers through your hair, trying to fix it.

spencer was too busy looking at you.

“spencer?” you said with confusion. “spence?”

he slightly shook his head.

fuck, she caught me staring.

“what? oh, i don’t know yet. how about you?” he asked back.

“hmmm, i’m not sure either. i might just play it safe and be a devil or something.” you said as you tried on headbands that had plastic horns glued onto them. you looked at the section next to the devil costumes and saw a bunch of angel costumes. you took one of the halos and placed it on spencer’s head, practically jumping to get it on him. “maybe you should be an angel this year.”

“you think so? why?” he asked, suddenly feeling shy.

“well, maybe cuz you are one?” you grinned.

spencer’s heart raced for hours afterwards.

“happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear emily! happy birthday to you!” the whole team sang as they raised their glasses to the girl of the hour. you couldn’t help but take pictures of everyone as they downed their drinks and hugged emily.

after the team found out it was the brunette’s birthday, you all collectively decided to spend the rest of the evening renting out a room at the karaoke bar to celebrate.

“thank you guys! i fucking love all of you!” emily yelled. you could tell she was tipsy. “now someone put something on, i want to get drunk and sing until my vocal chords explode!”

“well, actually, your vocal chords-” spencer started.

“shh, not right now spence. someone give me a microphone.” emily bit back. you patted your hand on spencer’s back.

after a few rounds of singing from everyone, you decided to do a number with the rest of the girls. you were in the zone, belting out notes you never thought you could do. but with a little bit of liquid courage, you channeled your inner whitney houston as you all sang ‘i wanna dance with somebody.’

hotch was recording (as always) as rossi and derek cheered you all on.

“let’s go baby girl!”

spencer was clapping along, watching you have the time of your life. he had the biggest smile on his face as he took pictures of you singing. he knew that he had it bad for you once you started dancing. but when he didn’t see coming was when you placed your hand on his and pulled him up to his feet.

“dance with me spencer!” you giggled as you whipped your head side to side. you definitely had too much to drink.

“come on pretty boy!” derek hollered. spencer started to pick up the rhythm and moved with you and the girls. the rest of the guys soon joined in and started dancing.

at times like this, spencer is grateful that he chose not to stay in.

as you flipped through the rest of the pages, you felt a few tears started to form in your eyes. you skimmed through the rest of the pictures.

some of them were pictures of you sleeping. on the jet, on the couch in your pajamas during a movie marathon, on rossi’s bed in one of the guest rooms after having one too many glasses of wine.

some of them had spencer in it. once you taught him what selfies were, he took one with you every time the team flew out of state, or even if you two were just getting coffee before work.

there were some where you weren’t even paying attention and spencer was closer to the camera and made it look like he was squeezing your small head.

and there were even a few where you had your hand close to the camera. they were pictures of you when spencer would catch you off-guard. they weren’t the best pictures, but it felt right for him to print them out.

“spence, what are you doing?” you asked as you tried to push his phone away from your face.

“i’m just taking a picture of you!” he giggled.

“why? i look ugly!” you whined.

“no you don’t!” he blurted out as you playfully shoved his phone towards him as he continued taking pictures of you.

“sometimes, i really do hate you.” you joked, ignoring the fact that he said he doesn’t think you’re ugly.

you laughed at the pictures as your heart picked up its pace. aww’s were coming from everyone, making spencer blush an even deeper pink. you got to last page of the scrapbook. instead of seeing a page full of pictures, you saw a familiar handwriting that filled the page.

is this a letter?

“what does it say?” one of your friends asked.

you looked at spencer for permission to read it out loud. he hesitantly nodded. by the looks of it, everyone already knew why he made you a scrapbook, might as well go all the way.

you took a deep breath and started reading.

for the part-time photographer, full-time badass profiler:

dear y/n,

you have been a light in everyone’s life, especially mine. you brought happiness to a team during their darkest times, and you have always been there for me during mine.

to the girl who is always seen taking pictures of everyone around her, you deserve to be photographed.

through your lenses, i am one of the many people that fill up your scrapbooks and walls, but through my lens, you are the most beautiful person my camera has ever captured (and even then, these pictures don’t do you justice).

you are the kindest, brightest, and most breathtaking person i’ve ever met, and i am so lucky to have fallen in love with you.

happy birthday!

love, spencer.

you didn’t even notice the small pool of tears that sat over the letter. thank god the pages were protected. even penelope, emily, and jj were crying.

“oh, spencer.” you sighed as you pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug. he immediately hugged you back, placing his face in the crook of your neck. you pulled away to look at him.

“did you like it?” he whispered as he wiped away the stray tears on your face.

you smiled at him and leaned towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips. he smiled as he kissed you back. loud cheers and applauds can be heard from around the room, but the only things you can hear are yours and spencer’s beating hearts.

“my man!” derek yelled. everyone pulled out their phones to capture this sweet moment.

you both pulled away from each other, not being able to wipe the stupid smiles off your faces.

“i’m guessing you liked it.” spencer quipped, making you laugh.

“i love it. and i love you too.” you grinned.

spencer pulled you in for another kiss, until you hear several clicks. you turned to see everyone with their phones pointed at you two. you hid your face in his neck in embarrassment, spencer laughing as he held you.

“this is definitely going in the scrapbook.” he chuckled.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n

232 notes · View notes

yuzuqi · 4 years ago

Note

I hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you manage to upload gifs in hq without tumblr screwing the quality up after it's shared? I'm new to making gifs, but they quality turns horrific after I upload them.

Hello! Pleaseee, ofc I don’t mind :)

Gif making may seem tricky, but once you get that first gif with the whole quality and the right size... You all the way up! Below I will try to give some helpful tips.

Tips:

Try to download videos with quality.

If you’re an anime blog, these sites may help you:

Site 1 | Site 2

Sizes: This is so important.

I’ve been so many years in tumblr and they have changed a lot their dimensions for posts and then you can see clearly on the dashboard the LQ (when they used to have a good quality)..So I made a masterpost about it. Wich you can find it here. This is very helpful as well for the app, because now that more people use the Tumblr app, the gifs may look good on Desktop and then on the app very grainy. So I tested (for a long time) while posting my stuff on Drafts, see it on Desktop and then on the App and got to the conclusion that it had the quality it deserves!

Giving life to a GIF

Usually you see gifs all the time very colorful, right? Thats what PSDs are made for. You can either create your own, or search around tumblr (I personally have some here) you can also search on the search bar of tumblr ‘anime psds’!

Before:

And after:

Timing:

It also depends from the scene you are giffing.

But I just use between 0,07; 0,08; 0,09 max! The bold one is the one I prefer. It actually looks more natural and usually combines with every scene. The examples below have the same timing :) (but the scenes are different ~)

Smart Sharpen:

Before putting the smart sharpen, convert your files for the gif into smart filter. Then, if you see the gif has too many “stains” (grainy scenes from the actual video) WHY DO I CALL THEM STAINS, add first Filter > Blur > Surface Blur.

Don't go over 3 or 4! Because then, your smart sharpening would be ruined... literally all the gif lol.

As for the settings of the sharpening, everyone has their own, but I can share! You can either put more or less, to your liking:

Saving Settings

File > Save for web

This is the part that annoys me the much lol. Because every scene looks different when you make a lot of gifs of different things.

These are the normal settings I use:

The option of Bicubic is always activated (as you can see below).

On this particular area, is where you will explore the most once finishing a gif. If its a gifset with similar scenes, I advise you to keep always the same setting. If not, try to play with these a little:

Because gradiented scenes, b&w scenes (those usually look good in anything), very colorful scenes... can get very very grainy. Usually, I use the Selective > Pattern

Examples:

When its a dark scene I go for Diffusion, such as these examples:

So I think this is it... PLEASE if you have any doubts about this ‘mini tutorial’ or more questions don’t hesitate ok?! I always want to help ;u;

#replies #anon #*resources #photoshop tips #gif making #Anonymous

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softjeon · 5 years ago

Text

The perfect Illusion | Final

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 9,2k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

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“You did fucking what?” Yoongi’s eyes were wide as he stared at Namjoon in surprise and shock with a hint of nervousness that washed over his expression. “Wait. Start from the beginning again…how did you get from asking me if I wanted milk in my coffee, which I, by the way, never do, to telling me about paying Jimin’s debt?”

Yoongi felt a little too breathless, too tired from spending almost all night with Jungkook. And now he was sitting in front of Namjoon when they usual morning get togethers for coffee (even though they lived in two different apartments, every sunday morning Yoongi still shuffled down the hallway to Namjoon’s place just like they were used to from living together) made his best friend literally spill his tea, or well…his coffee.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t think of a better way to tell you so... yeah, I asked Hoseok to give me permission to marry Jimin. But the sum Jimin owes Hoseok is no joke and I don’t have enough in my private account to pay all that so I wanted to ask you if... if I could either lend something from the company - or use it as loan security when I ask for money at the bank. I know it must sound crazy to you and maybe I am but… I mean it. I really do. This isn’t altruism or charity. I fell in love with Jimin. And if me marrying him improves his life then why shouldn’t I do it?”

“Sure.” Yoongi nodded, taking the cup of coffee to take a big sip from it, his eyes focused on something completely else than Namjoon. How could he scold his friend about something like falling in love with a geisha, when he was guilty himself? And he was bad at lying, especially when it was to his best friend. So, he quickly reached for his pocket and got out his phone, opening the app of his bank account. “How much money do you need?” This would definitely keep Namjoon from asking question about where he had been last night and simultaneously make him the happiest man alive.

“W…what?” He stared at Yoongi, completely confused. “You… you are kidding right? I thought... won’t you try and talk me out of this? Because of Jimin’s job, his training, the short amount of time we know each other and the amount of money I would have to pay just to be with him? Didn’t you say that it’s all an illusion in there, fake perfection to sell an image to people like us who can pay for it?”

“Love is love, Namjoon. I see the way you changed and Jimin is making you so much happier. Gosh, I just want you to finally get some…,” Yoongi groaned low, trying to keep every attention off of him, “Sometimes it’s worth it, you know? To fight for someone, you love. We’re doing good and we’re making more money than we can ever imagine. Our stocks are doing great, our products are selling fast and now that we are establishing our work in Japan with Mr. Lings investment…we’re fine.” He waved Namjoon off, “We’re doing just fine…so go and get married. Live life, love Jimin…do whatever makes you happy! Life’s too short to question everything. Sometimes you just have to do what your heart is telling you. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love and wanting to marry them. No matter how long you know them. You just know it’s right…you feel it in your heart,” Yoongi pointed at his own, nodding determinately, before adding quickly, “So, just tell me how much you need and the date when we take the boys with us and I’m your man!” Yoongi cocked up an eyebrow at Namjoon, “I’ll be your best man, right?”

“Who are you and what did you do to my grumpy, wary and sarcastic friend?” Namjoon laughed, carefree as if someone just lifted a hundred pounds off his heart. Yoongi didn't judge him or acted shocked by what he was about to do. Even better he actually offered to lend him money which meant the company would be fine and there wouldn’t be any risk of losing it to a bank. Also, he rather paid interest to Yoongi who totally deserved it than to a bank. So, he told him what sum he would need, half expecting Yoongi to gasp in surprise or take his offer back.

But Yoongi did neither.

“Okay, done,” Yoongi announced, turning his screen around to Namjoon, so the other could see that it was indeed the sum he had asked for which was now sent off to Namjoon’s account. Yoongi had saved up enough money to be okay with this and although he needed to lay low a little more with his money now, he had nothing to worry about anymore. If Namjoon was happy, then Jimin was happy, therefore Jungkook was happy. And that’s all he wanted in the end. With a big sigh, he leaned back against his chair.

“That’s...wow. Wow I mean, thank you, Yoongi! So much! I’ll pay you back, with interest and... thank you, really. You can’t imagine how much this means to me! I won’t ever, ever forget what you just did for me. For us.” He chuckled, realization settling in. He had the money. He could pay Hoseok back the moment Jimin told him he was ready to leave. He was in love with a beautiful person who loved him back - and he would marry him.

Like a fairytale come true.

Namjoon couldn’t even hide the smile behind his hand because it was so broad, his dimples showing it a way that spoke of pure happiness. “By the way, of course you’ll be my best man. And Jungkook can be the flower child; I bet he would enjoy that.” He could almost picture the boy throwing flowers around and onto all of their heads.

Apropos Jungkook… his voice grew a little softer, a little more careful when he continued, “How... how long did you stay at the tea house last night? Did you see Jungkook... afterwards or…” How did you ask your best friend if he was able to comfort the boy he liked after they had to spend a night with a stranger?

“W-what, what do you mean…did you see me? Where? In the theater…of the tea house?” Yoongi coughed awkwardly, the nervousness was rushing through him so fast that it was making him stutter. What was that about being bad at lying again?

Yoongi tried a smile, chuckling nervously, “What are you implying? That I bid on Jungkook? My sweet little Jungkookie? My maiko? T-that is now a geisha? B-because someone…paid him…and that someone definitely wasn’t me. Because it was…is a lot of money that you have to pay. You said it yourself we shouldn’t support the ritual! Maybe I just wanted to see him again. I like him, okay? He’s cute. Very much so. I like him. There. I said it. Are you happy now?” Yoongi was stammering, throwing his hands up in a defense, while his voice sounded a little more high-pitched than usual, “Even if I did bid on him, which I totally didn’t do, so stop asking me! It’s none of your business, okay? You are getting married and that’s what we are talking about now. You and Jimin. Marriage. Yes. Not about how I bid on Jungkook for his mizuage. Is it too much to ask for a little privacy here?”

Namjoon blinked, a little bit overwhelmed by the sudden gush of words that had come out of Yoongi’s mouth. His brain had trouble catching up on the meaning of it and when it finally clicked he almost choked on nothing.

“You… no way! I just saw you in the main room when Jungkook was on stage, I never thought that…” He shook his head. Yoongi hadn’t judges him so he shouldn’t either. “Did you see who had the highest bid at the end or did you leave before that? If you want we can go there today again, check up on Jungkook and... I can tell Jimin that you lend us the money.”

“Jungkook is fine,” Yoongi nodded, ignoring Namjoon’s angry expression as if his best friend just disregarded that Jungkook had lost his virginity to a stranger. That the younger could be hurting right in this very moment. But Yoongi knew better. “He…He was with me. Because I bid on him.” Yoongi didn’t dare to look at his friend, who was looking at him in a mixture of disappointment and shock. “I was the one who took Jungkook’s virginity.”

“You...what?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, taking his cup of coffee to gulp the rest down hastily, “Virginity is a dumb concept made up by society. Jungkook is fine, that’s all you need to know.” Yoongi bit down on his tongue to keep himself from spilling more secrets. He wanted to keep Jungkook safe, even if that meant lying to his friend.

Namjoon couldn’t wrap his head around it. He just couldn’t. Just a few minutes ago Yoongi had lend him a massive amount of money to make sure that Jimin wouldn’t have to endure living under Hoseok’s roof any longer - and then he was telling him that he had taken part in the most violating tradition of all! Mentioning it as if it was nothing! And then Yoongi even had the audacity to play the “virginity is a concept” card which was true for a discussion about concepts, but definitely not appropriate if you literally had just slept with someone for their very first time. This... this just couldn’t be true. Yoongi must be making an awful joke. Maybe he was teasing him. Or testing their friendship or...something else. As always when he was completely overwhelmed he just kept on talking, stating facts while his emotions were balling up into an uncomfortable thing sitting heavily in his stomach.

“There’s a rumor they showed off the silk sheets after, like some kind of marriage ritual from the Middle Ages where the groom shows off the bloody sheets as proof that the marriage has been consummated.” Namjoon shook his head. It was incomprehensible to him how something degrading like this could still be common. “Looking at stained sheets after sex - that’s simply disgusting!” Yoongi was strangely quiet and so he pushed further. “You didn’t... really do that, did you?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, turning away a little so Namjoon couldn’t see his face which had warning bells ring in Namjoon’s head. “Wait, tell me you didn’t!” His voice broke when the realization sunk in that this had actually happened. That Yoongi had really actually fucking done that. When he spoke again his throat was tight. “Then tell me that at least you didn’t treat Jungkook’s first time like that; like some kind of proof of how mighty you are because you had him first. Tell me you were gentle, and kind and you made him feel safe.”

Yoongi tried to smile but it came out a little off. “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, Joon. It’s a tradition. It had always been like that. And no matter if we like it or not if we don’t play along the rules then it’s Jungkook and Jimin who have to live with that. We have the luxury of making our own rules, but they... if Jungkook wouldn’t have let me have him then he would have never become a geisha. You just can't be a geisha and a virgin at the same time. It might be a stupid rule, but it is one of the basic ones and ... it’s a onetime thing! No one has to touch him ever again if he doesn't want to. He can work as a geisha or get his own tea house or marry now, depending on how much money he earns. He has options now. And all it took was one single amorality.”

Namjoon scoffed but kept his opinion to himself. “As long as he liked it and you didn’t make him bleed I guess I can’t really say anything against that.” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders again and Namjoon felt like he was going to be sick. “You didn’t, did you?!”

Yoongi bit his lip, very obviously feeling like he was getting into a fix right now, “It’s just a symbol, Joon. It doesn't mean anything.”

“A symbol? Are you... Yoongi, goddammit! No one ever touched him before you, they aren’t even supposed to have physical contact with anyone outside the house! You knew how inexperienced he was! How could you... how could you hurt him? I thought you liked him!”

“I do!” Yoongi hastily tried to defend himself without giving their secret away. He had promised that it would be safe with him but right now it wasn’t easy to not just spill the truth, so he tried to play it down which was absolutely the wrong thing to do. “It’s not... it just got a little rough, he’s fine, he just...”

Namjoon held up his hand. “Enough! I don’t want to hear your sorry excuses. How could you. I never thought... I never thought that you of all people…” His heart was aching for Kook, the sweet shy boy who had trusted Yoongi and had gotten hurt in return. He couldn't imagine how betrayed the younger must feel - or maybe he didn't even know that it wasn't supposed to be like that, that sleeping with someone you cared for meant to be safe and that there could be pleasure, not just pain. He felt guilty himself, for letting this happen and Jimin... oh Jimin would be so sad and angry at them for hurting his little Maiko. He needed to get out of there or else he would have continued to scream at Yoongi. He needed to concentrate on the good that Yoongi had literally turned Jimin’s life around with helping him and he hadn’t even thought twice. He felt like he couldn’t get the Yoongi who had just helped him and the Yoongi who was paying to hurt Jungkook on his very first night into the same picture.

He just needed to get some air before he would be sick.

Namjoon felt like he needed to do something, anything, really to show that he was sorry, so he went to Jimin. Because hurting Jungkook also meant hurting Jimin. And as he felt like he definitely couldn’t look Jungkook in the eye right now he wanted to at least give Jimin something for the younger, something to make it better - if that was even possible right now. Also, if Jungkook was hurt…then maybe he couldn’t dance, therefore didn’t make enough money and he needed to wait even longer to get out which would also affect Jimin and therefore himself and.... Namjoon could feel the headache settle in and tried not to think about it.

When he finally stood in front of Jimin he held a bag in hand that was filled to the brim. He had thought through each and every apology he could think of but in the end he still found none that expressed how sorry he was about Jungkook’s first night turning out to be like that, getting hurt by someone who was supposed to care for him. He still couldn't wrap his head around it that Yoongi would do such a thing. He should have known, when Yoongi had told him that he had bought Jungkook’s innocence that Yoongi would treat this no different than all the other power hungry, ruthless men who got off on ruining something perfect and pure for their own pleasure. He bowed deeply in front of Jimin, apologizing with a tight voice while giving him the bag. There was a cushion in it, extra soft for Jungkook to sit on when his back was hurting, relaxing tea in case he couldn’t sleep. An herbal remedy for bruises as he didn’t know how else Yoongi had hurt the boy, anti-inflammatory drugs to keep his body from getting infected which could easily happen even with minor tears in that area and cute, colorful sweets to cheer Jungkook up. He still felt awful. Nothing he bought could turn Jungkook’s first night into something pleasant and Namjoon knew that Kook would never forget it because you just... didn’t.

Especially not like this.

“I can’t tell you how much I regret that I let this happen. Please tell Jungkook that I’m sorry and that I will keep Yoongi from coming here ever again if he wants to.” Jimin looked at him in confusion and when he opened the bag his frown just deepened.

“Joon, what are you talking about?”

The older’s heart sank at the prospect of being the one to tell Jimin why he was here. He had thought that Jungkook would have confided in Jimin right away but maybe he couldn’t. He swallowed harshly before whispering, “He hurt him. Yoongi hurt Jungkook and I’m... I’m so very sorry!”

Jimin’s expression changed and now it was Namjoons turn to be confused. There was a smile on Jimin’s lips. “You mean because of the blood on their sheets? Because he made sure there would be no doubt that they had sex? Joon…”

Namjoon interrupted him immediately horror dawning on him, “Jimin this is not how it’s supposed to be! Please tell me that you don’t think that this is how it should have happened! You should treat someone you…” Jimin held up his hands to stop him, smile growing more softer, but it was still there.

“So, he didn’t tell you? He really didn’t tell you even though you probably accused him of abusing Jungkook to his face?” Namjoon felt dizzy. How could Jimin be okay with all this?

“What do you mean? Of course, I did! I am unimaginably angry at him! How…how are you not? How can you be okay with Kook…”

“He didn't do it.”

That effectively shut Namjoon up and he just blinked at Jimin in confusion until the younger explained: “He really didn't do it. I was just as worried about Kook as you even though the sheets thing is not uncommon. But other than Yoongi, Jungkook told me right away. Yoongi paid the full fee - and then told him that yes, he’d like to sleep with him but only if Jungkook wants and when he feels ready. I honestly was a little worried because as beautiful and thoughtful as that gesture is it could destroy Kook’s reputation completely if it ever comes out. Though I don't think we have to worry if he rather lets his best friend think he hurt the one he loves than breaking his promise.” Namjoon’s head was spinning.

“And... the blood?”

“A smart move actually. That way they won’t ask Kook for details as it’s proof enough on its own. He just cut his finger. And then he held Kook for the rest of the night, brushing through his hair and whispering praises into his ear. Jungkook was practically glowing the next morning with a smile that couldn’t be wiped from his face. No one will ever doubt that he’s gone through with it and is happy to be a geisha now.” Jimin was smiling brightly, taking one of the strawberries he had taken with them as they sat outside in the garden close by the pavilion where they had kissed for the first time.

“I missed you, Namjoon. I was scared you wouldn’t come back,” Jimin leaned his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment only to snap up immediately though when he realized he had now smeared white powder all over Namjoon’s shirt, trying to wipe it off. “Oh…and then I guess he didn’t tell you about the proposal either, right?”

…

The night of Jungkook’s mizuage and after Namjoon had gone; Jimin had been sitting on his bed, hands folded together, while nervously tapping his foot on the ground. It was late, way too late and Jimin had been worrying so badly about what had happened to Jungkook and about Namjoon. His thoughts had been running wild with endless possibilities - until the younger finally showed up.

Jungkook felt a little dizzy - from happiness. Yoongi had just said goodbye to him, with a kiss and a look in his eyes that was so soft Jungkook was about to start crying again. Though he had cried enough that night. His eyes were still teary and red, but he just couldn't help himself. The moment it had sunken in that Yoongi wanted to marry him to bind their lives together forever in love and trust and everything he had ever hoped for he had just broken down. And Yoongi had been there to catch him, to hold him calming him down with ‘I love you’s’ and the sweetest promises Jungkook could ever think of.

How he would show him the world and take him as he was, they would explore what Jungkook liked and what he didn’t, what hobbies he might enjoy and what his favorite food was. The younger felt as if he had walked through a door last night and ended in a dream world that was everything he ever wished for.

He had sneaked out when they had come to clean up after Yoongi, taking the sheets with them. He had felt their looks on his skin and blushed heavily, but they hadn’t asked anything or talked to him in any way, just nodded their approval and then let him go. He needed to see Jimin, right now, or else he might burst from all the happiness inside.

“Jimin?” He knocked and barely waited for something affirmative from the other side of the door before barging in, closing the door behind him and then sinking down at Jimin's feet to bury his head in the others lap like they did sometimes, when Jungkook wanted Jimin to card through his hair and calm him. He just couldn’t sit properly right now and talk about this normally when his whole world had just turned on its axis.

“Hey,” Jimin instinctively reached out for him, soothing over his hair and holding Jungkook softly. “Are you okay?” It was a simple question, one that Jimin spoke so calmly that it surprised himself with the storm that was raging in his heart and mind. But he needed to know if Jungkook was alright, if he was hurting if he needed anything from him or if he just wanted to sit like this for the rest of the night. He didn’t care.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jungkook sniffled, the tears coming again when he remembered how scared he had been just to feel this endless rush of relief when Yoongi came in and then gave him back control over the situation. “It... it was Yoongi who bought me and at first I thought he would just have sex with me, but... but...” His voice broke and he took a deep breathe, wiping the tears off his face to speak properly. He had never understood why sadness and joy brought the same reaction when it got too much and he pouted as it was kind of ruining the happy mood right now.

Reaching out for the young geisha, Jimin lifted the youngers chin to make him look at him. “Y-Yoongi? He didn’t want...w-what did he do, Jungkook?” Jimin was fearing the worst right now, his thoughts spiraling out of control, not really getting that Jungkook was crying because he was happy. But Namjoon had said, Yoongi liked Jungkook - that they would protect the younger. “What happened? He didn’t hurt you, right?”

Jungkook shook his head at that question and then broke into tears all over again, sniffling in between as he managed to get out, “He... he proposed to me, Minnie! He told me that he would ... marry me and he didn’t…we didn’t have sex. He realized... how... how scared I was and said he wouldn’t do it like that but... he still... still wants me and.. Minnie, he said he loves me! Can you imagine that? He... he loves me and he can get me out and no one will ever control me... ever... ever again!”

Jimin gasped, pushing a hand onto his mouth – and still he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling. He instantly reached for Jungkook and embraced him in the tightest hug, feeling how shaken the younger was. It was everything Jimin could have hoped for and more. All he wanted was for Jungkook to get out of here and now it was about to come true. And if Jungkook was safe…then Namjoon could come and get him as well.

Jimin closed his eyes, the sobs taking over as he kept holding the younger just a little tighter. “Of course, he loves you! Who doesn’t love you! You’re the sweetest geisha that has ever graced the earth,” Jimin mumbled with a soft giggle, leaving a few soft kisses on the younger’s cheek, while soothing over his back, “You’ll be out of here soon. I told you…I told you it’s going to be alright.”

They were holding each other, crying together and washing away everything that they had kept inside. All the insecurity and tension, the lost dreams and fragile hint of hope, the bottled up emotions and disappointments - everything just broke its way out. When the tears finally dried up Jungkook felt relieved as if he only weighted half of his weight, the pressure on his chest gone so he could breathe more freely. He also was exhausted though. He had slept a little last night, but not much and he ached for a long, deep sleep - and to wake up to the knowledge that it was still true; that Yoongi would propose and take him home with him.

Jimin had helped him up and into the bed with him, neither of them letting go off each other. Jungkook fell asleep almost immediately, snoring softly in the geisha’s hold while he was playing with his hair. Jimin smiled at the thought of Yoongi proposing to the younger, wondering how it had happened if the other had been on one knee or if he just had told him – just like Namjoon had done it. Biting his lip, Jimin looked down at the sleeping boy, tracing the lines of his face softly.

He hadn’t told Jungkook about Namjoon’s visit, just as much as he had never told him anything else bad that had happened. He knew that Jungkook would scold him for staying when he had a way out of here immediately. But now that he was sure Jungkook would be out of here soon, whether it was through working his debt off quickly or Yoongi paying everything and marrying him right away – he didn’t care -, Jimin dared to dream again.

...

Namjoon plucked a strawberry away from Jimin’s heap. “That idiot.” His voice was fond and sweet. “You know I told him that I proposed to you. And I expected for him to be shocked and everything, but he was absolutely fine with it. Now I know why: he had just proposed to Jungkook himself. But he couldn’t tell me, probably because he was afraid to say too much and spill Kook’s secret. I knew it! I knew he had a soft spot for Jungkook. And I’m glad it turned out that it’s even more than that.” Words lingered on his tongue, those who would tell Jimin that Yoongi had lend him the rest of that money that he needed to buy him out of here. But suddenly he got shy. He had proposed to Jimin so shortly ago. Maybe he should wait a little longer before bringing it up again. He should probably let Jimin cope, there’d be so many changes now. And who knew when exactly the two would marry. He could wait. And then, after Jungkook would have left the tea house then he could ask again. That would probably be for the best. He bit his lip, nonetheless, still itching to just blurt it out and ask Jimin again.

“Don’t call him an idiot, Namjoon!” Jimin softly nudged his side, giggling quietly. Reaching out for one of the napkins, Jimin put a finger under Namjoon’s chin to turn his head around. “You’ve got strawberry juice all over you.” The geisha smiled at him fondly and cleaned it up with a featherlight touch. “I’d kiss you if I could right now.” He added in a whispery tone, not wanting anyone else around to hear although they were pretty far off from the usual spots the other geisha’s took their clients in the garden. “If…If Yoongi is marrying Jungkook. If he is taken care of then…,” Jimin began to speak as he set the napkin down again, playing with the hem of his robe nervously. “W-will you…will you come back?”

Namjoon couldn’t help the smile from spreading all over his face. Just like the warm, fuzzy feeling that was spreading inside of him until it filled up his whole chest. “Why? What should I come back for?” He asked, playing dumb. “If Yoongi and Jungkook won’t be here anymore - then what will there be that’s worth coming for me here? I can’t think of anything; honestly.”

Jimin’s eyes widened but his expression soon turned into a smile. “But I am here,” He pursed his lips into a pout, sulking prettily. “But you’re right…watching Yoongi and Jungkook being in love and all…lovey-dovey at work…at home…and everywhere else, when you’re all alone, is probably better anyways.”

“You will be here?” Namjoon feigned surprise, “But why would you? I didn’t think you’d want to come back here after you moved out. But sure, if you want to we can go there together. I actually wanted to ask you for a favors regarding that anyway...” He wiped off his mouth and then placed the napkin aside. Jimin could swear that his heart had jumped right out of his chest in that moment. He blinked the tears away hastily, trying not to show how much it meant to him that Namjoon still thought about getting him out of here. “A favor?” Jimin shifted a little closer, seeking the warmth the other always provided for him, “What is it that you need?”

Namjoon left the joking aside and turned towards Jimin. His eyes were soft but his face serious as he was about to ask something very personal and uncomfortable of Jimin. “I wanted to ask you if you... if you could think that maybe... you could tell the others in the tea house. About what happened to you.” He could see Jimin’s eyes widening and his body tensing up in defense and he took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “Just listen to me please. You don’t have to give me an answer right away just.. I talked to a lawyer, as I said I would. And they told me that even though he is sorry about what happened we can’t... we don’t really have a chance at winning a case. Because we don’t have proof. And I hate that Hobi will just get away like that, but I don’t want you to get through any of this again, not even for getting ‘proof’. So, I wanted you to talk to the boys living here, tell them what Hobi did so that they are warned and then tell them that if he ever tries something with them then they can call me, anytime. And together we will get proof and Hobi in jail.“

“Joon,” Jimin cupped his cheeks, not knowing what to say anymore. He took a few deep breaths before answering, “O-okay…but no word to Jungkook. I need you to promise me that.” Jimin gulped heavily, his hands shaking from the sudden anxiety that overwhelmed him. “J-just give me a bit time, okay?”

Namjoon nodded, squeezing Jimin’s hand again. He hadn’t expected Jimin to agree right away. After all, Jimin had kept it a secret since it had happened, telling no one but him. It must be a scary thought to open up - but it might be what kept the other young boys in the tea house safe. If they knew they had help if they knew that they had to look out maybe none of them got hurt. Hobi might even get wind of it that if he ever tried to touch one of the boys again he would be in jail quicker than he could make up a lie. Maybe an anonymous letter would do…

“You’ve got all the time in the world. We only plan further when Jungkook is out and he never has to know. No one has to know, ever. Except for... a therapist. As I’d really like for you to see one. Though as with everything else we’ll go at your pace. You can settle in, get comfortable, feel like home. I just want you to heal, at your own pace. And if it helps you talking about it, opening up to someone who can help you better with this than I… then I’d like for you to try please. But before that - before everything I’d like you to marry me please.” As Jimin was still sitting it was a little strange to kneel in front of him, but he still did, taking out the ring that he had bought. It was a small and delicate band, no decoration, no inscription, just a silver band to fit on Jimin’s finger.

“I figured as we more or less have a date now for when you come out it would only be appropriate for you to have something to visualize my promise to you. I kept it simple so that you can wear it at work as well. And when you’re out then we can look for our wedding rings together and you can choose whatever you like best. I’m assuming it’s still a yes?”

Jimin was completely frozen, only his eyes blinking gave away that he was still alive. His mouth stood open as he stared at the ring in front of him. “It’s perfect,” His voice sounded so small, almost timid, “Y-you are perfect.” Jimin’s lip began to tremble, tears spilling over. “Of course, I still want you. I always wanted you! Yes!” Jimin didn’t care about any rules anymore, but let himself fall into Namjoon’s embrace, holding on tightly and just when he was sure no one could see he placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips. Just one time, before he sunk back into his arms.

…

Everything just felt surreal as if he had spent each day in a dream, one unique stolen moment suspended in time when he was with Namjoon. And every day brought him a bit closer to him – until he would come back and take him home.

But Namjoon didn’t come back. Not the following week, or the one after.

Jimin had waited to see his name on his appointment list, but there was no ‘Kim Namjoon’…just everyone else but the one he wanted to see so desperately. Jungkook passed him on his way up to the tearooms with a smile, practically glowing in his geisha attire and it was enough for Jimin to know that Yoongi was there again.

Jimin smiled back at the younger, separating from him and going into a different direction.

Jungkook didn’t need him anymore and now that the young geisha was almost done paying off his debt it only made Jimin awfully aware of his own state. But Jungkook wasn't to blame, only himself. He was trying to work more than usual, get more tip from the customers and even doing main room services again – even though it stressed him out completely – to pay off more of his own debt with Hoseok. He was the first one to start his shift and the last one to go. One day, Jimin had fallen asleep over the box filled with his laundry, being completely exhausted.

To Hoseok it was a fun game to watch, to see Jimin struggling just to get a glimpse of that hope again. To see him trying to keep the debt as low as possible, but it was a hopeless, tiring fight. But Jimin didn’t want Namjoon to pay more, just because he had decided to stay here and make sure Jungkook was safe until he could go. It was his own fault. And Namjoon had told him he would take care of everything else. He just needed some time to prepare it, right? It was about Jungkook first, anyways. Jimin shouldn’t worry too much about it.

But what if Namjoon wouldn’t come back for him?

What if he decided that waiting for Jimin would take too long, that it would leave him in ruins and the geisha wasn’t worth it. Jimin couldn’t blame Namjoon. He was a dancer, nothing more than that. And even though he had gotten a good education, Jimin never learned any other job than this. The contract between Hoseok and Namjoon only lasted for a month and if the businessman didn’t bring the money or prolong the contract, Jimin would get dropped – just like that.

Jimin looked down at his hand, the ring still on his finger – the only reminder he had of Namjoon’s promise. Wiping over his eyes tiredly, the geisha made his way through the darkness of the garden and into their room again. He was forcing himself to push down every bit of sadness, while the doubts were eating him alive – and still Jimin didn’t want anyone to see him struggling. In some ways he knew it was irrational, but how did one tell their heart that it didn’t need to be scared?

So, he put his mask back on, doing his job with a perfect smile, dancing with the same expression all over again and listening to Jungkook daydream about Yoongi. He smiled through the pain, urging Jungkook on to tell him more, ignoring the aching inside his chest, the jealousy that felt like it was leaving a hollow.

And sometimes, when the younger was sleeping in his arms, his head on Jimin’s chest and arms tightly wrapped around his body, Jimin just cried. Silent tears falling down onto his cheeks. Some were because he knew that he had made it, he had saved Jungkook from this and that the younger would be free from it soon. And he would be taken care of.

And about his own life, then the sadness washed over him like a wave, pulling him under and leaving him to drown. It was making him want to scream out because the pain wasn’t bearable. But then he soothed over Jungkook’s hair just a little softer, trying to stifle anything else to not wake him or started playing with the ring again. There had never been anyone protecting him, so he wouldn’t dare to bring Jungkook the same fate when he was so close to his happy end.

Sometimes Jimin wondered if this story, his life, had never been about him but all about Jungkook. Maybe it was solely about protecting the innocence and keeping him that way. But hadn’t he been innocent himself once? How did he tumble into this life? Namjoon once said it hadn’t been his fault…that nothing of what had happened should have happened in the first place.

The moment he thought about him again, his heart did a painful jump. Jimin wondered where he was right now, if he maybe couldn’t sleep as well and if he was thinking about him. Namjoon had told him, that sometimes he was going out for midnight bike rides – maybe he was doing that? Looking up at the stars? The same one’s he could see now. Jimin had never ridden a bike before. Sighing deeply, Jimin tried to close his eyes again, imagining himself riding a bike but in the end it only made him awfully aware of the things he couldn’t do. What was he even good for? He couldn’t even cook properly, and he wasn’t so sure if Namjoon was a great cook considering how clumsy he was and maybe the other didn’t even want to teach him.

Jimin was a burden. That’s all he had been from the beginning.

When Jungkook stirred in his sleep, Jimin quickly buried his face in his hair and told him to go back to sleep. From where they were lying, Jimin could see the sun slowly rising, but Jungkook needed a bit more sleep. “I’ll wake you up, but now just sleep okay,” Jimin mumbled into the younger’s hair, before closing his own eyes and trying to ignore the way his heart was hammering against his chest.

It had been two weeks since Namjoon had visited him and the more days passed, the more did Jimin lose his hope.

It was wilting away so easily, the fear of getting rejected growing bigger than believing in Namjoon’s promise – no matter how long he stared at the ring.

…

Sitting outside, Jimin was reading – or more likely he tried. He was reading over the same couple of sentences repeatedly for the last couple of minutes. He just couldn’t concentrate, his mind racing, making him feel dizzy. So, instead of reading ahead, he closed it and put the book aside. Leaning his head against the wall, Jimin let the sun shine directly on his face and although he easily got a sunburn, he didn’t mind the heat right now. He almost dozed off, his tired mind slipping when a happy yell made him jerk his head up, his eyes searching for the source of it.

“I got it! Jimin,I finally got it! The paper! This is it! I got it” Jungkook was running towards him, bunching up his silk robe with one hand so that he wouldn’t fall over his own geisha attire. He was waving wildly with a paper, his face beaming so much that Jimin could see it from where he was sitting.

The geisha was up on his feet right away, ignoring the shiny spots that appeared and the dizziness he felt and instead ran ahead to get to Jungkook. His own doubts were far gone, because nothing else mattered right now. “You made it,” Jimin whispered, taking the paper from Jungkook to read over them quickly before he jumped in happiness, hugging the younger. “Yoongi must be on his way now! You should go and sign it now!” Jimin squealed, urging the younger to move, “Go! Go! I’ll go and pack your things…and…and you go and sign this…then…then when he’s here you can leave right away. No one will hold you back.” Jimin took in a sharp breath, when the realization settled in that he would let Jungkook go today. With a smile, he nodded into the direction of Hoseok’s office, “What are you waiting for?”

Jungkook hesitated. “I just... wanted to tell you and now... I don’t really know what to do.” His doe eyes were wide and dark, a little worry mixed into all the happiness. “I don’t feel good leaving you here. I know it won’t be for long and that Namjoon will be here soon, maybe even tomorrow but... I don’t want you to be alone.” He took Jimin’s hand and held it a little too tight. “I’m gonna miss you, so, so much, Jimin. You’re my family. And you always will be.”

They hadn’t talked about any of this yet, fantasizing and dreaming about the happy aspects of their future while leaving out completely that they wouldn’t live together any longer. Of course, they would see each other all the time with Yoongi and Namjoon being friends and owners of the same company and living close to each other. And yet it would be a big change. “Promise me that you will call whenever you want to see me, no matter when and where?” He took Jimin’s other hand as well and squeezed both of them, “And we will have sleepovers when our... our husbands are away on business” He giggled at the word husband because it still got him shy. “And we will have breakfast together, the four of us every Sunday. And I need to see you at least five times a week. Okay?”

“I’m not alone,” Jimin answered with a smile, although inside he was crumbling, ignoring the pain he had felt the past weeks, nodding at everything he said. He stiffened when Jungkook talked about ‘their’ husbands, when Jimin had never told him about Namjoon’s proposal or his promise. Jungkook just believed in the good.

“I-I know I always have you, please don’t worry about me, Jungkook.” He squeezed the younger’s hand lightly, “I’ll be there with you soon but until then please be happy. If you smile, then I smile.” Jimin soothed over Jungkook’s cheeks, his eyes flickering onto the ring on his finger, before he quickly retreated it again. “I promise you…and now go!” Jimin laughed, pushing the younger lightly into the direction.

Jungkook hugged Jimin once again, a sudden, happy hug from all the joy he felt inside before he finally ran off. He had felt awful about leaving Jimin behind so one night Yoongi had told him a secret and had him promising that he wouldn’t ask Hobi or Namjoon anything about it. Apparently Namjoon wanted to marry Jimin as well though for whatever reason they had to wait for a while longer.

Jungkook just hoped Namjoon would keep to his promise and also hurry up a little.

He didn’t want Jimin to be alone. If necessary he would come to the tea house every day at Jimin’s lunch break to make him smile until Namjoon had sorted out whatever was stopping him to take Jimin with him. It was probably the money. Jungkook bit his lip, thinking to himself that the moment he got a job he would start saving his earnings to give to Namjoon so that he could buy Jimin out of there just like Yoongi had with him. The older had refused when Jungkook had offered to pay him back but Jungkook thought about doing it anyway. After Jimin was free of course. But right now, he needed to sign the papers, give them back to Hoseok and then… then he could go with Yoongi to spend his first night outside of the tea house since more than a decade.

Jimin’s heart was aching as he watched Jungkook run off, almost stumbling over the doorstep and shooting him a smile as if to reassure him that he was fine. The geisha smiled back at him, before he turned on his heel, grabbed his book and returned to their room. Taking the bag from their closet, Jimin put it down onto Jungkook’s bed side looking around the room to look for the things he could pack. There wasn’t much: except for their normal day clothes and daily robe and a few personal essentials they barely had anything. When he lifted the bag, it was still light and not like he would move out, but rather just stay overnight somewhere. He plopped down onto the mattress, letting his gaze wander around for a moment until the pain became a little bit too much to endure. He took in a sharp breath, one that hurt his throat. Mindlessly, Jimin had started to play with the ring again, rotating it on his finger until his breathing calmed a little more and it didn’t felt like he was free falling into a pit dark hole.

With his smile perfectly in place and bag in hand, Jimin hurried back out again. He could already see Yoongi with his arm around the youngers waist at the garden gate, the biggest smile on both of their faces. Seeing Jungkook so happy, so close to being free was all he had needed to make joy blossom in his heart again.

Honestly, Jimin wasn’t sure how he was surviving this whiplash of emotions for weeks now. He was a mess that was for sure.

Bowing deeply in front of Yoongi, Jimin spoke up, “Thank you, Mr. Min.” He bowed even deeper, trying to hide that his eyes were tearing up from pure joy and relief that Jungkook would be safe from now on, “For everything that you did, for Kook…and for me as well. You showed yourself to be a great gentleman and best suitor for being Jungkook’s fiancé.” He didn’t plan on speaking so formerly, but Jimin felt safer using his geisha persona or else he feared it would have overwhelmed him completely.

Yoongi reached out for him, gentle touching his arm. “Jimin, there’s no need to talk to me like that. We’re friends. At least from my side. And you aren’t a geisha anymore. You don’t have to be overly polite to people. You can let yourself breathe. I’d say we all meet at my place tonight. Till then Jungkook has had the time to take a look at the apartment and decide which room he wants as his own and then we can order pizza tonight and celebrate him moving in with me. You want to come?”

Jimin only nodded at that, not sure if Yoongi knew what he was talking about. Of course, he was still a geisha. Didn’t Namjoon always say he knew more about the rules of a tea house? It was a nice thought though, so Jimin only smiled at him before turning to Jungkook. Soothing over the younger’s hair, Jimin cupped his face to place a soft kiss on the youngers cheek. “Call me tonight, will you? I bet I can make Hoseok let me use the telephone, and then you can tell me about the room…about the view out of your window and everything else, promise?” Jimin hugged Jungkook close once more, before pulling away, sniffling quietly and mumbling something about allergies. “I’m sorry I can’t come but I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely night.” The geisha turned to Yoongi and bowed in apology, “I do have to work tonight, but it would make me really happy to hear from you soon.” His voice broke a little and his hands began to shake, while Jimin tried to cover it up with an awkward wave.

“I think you’re a little over excited there, sweetheart.”

Jimin jumped a little from the sudden voice behind him and Namjoon chuckled as the younger’s eyes widened in surprise. He had practically begged Yoongi for them to drive to the tea house together as soon as he got the call from Jungkook that the papers were ready: because he didn’t want Jimin to stay there for a minute longer after Jungkook was gone and he was practically allowed to marry Jimin officially now. The last two weeks had been hell without Jimin but he still had a job and then he had cleaned out a room in his house and had tried to make it as comfortable as possible without putting pressure on Jimin because Jimin should decorate the room how he wanted and maybe he also wanted different furniture or other colors or he wanted to turn the room into a dance studio or a hobby room and... Yoongi had laughed at him a couple of times for it, saying that he was thinking too much and that they would have enough time to sort that out when Jimin was there. The rest of their lives to be precise.

“So... Jungkook is officially his own man right now. Or Yoongi’s, however you want to see it. Does that mean you are ready to come home now?”

Jimin just stared at Namjoon, mouth hanging open, his mind and heart trying to catch up. His bottom lip began to tremble, when Namjoon was talking about ‘coming home’ as if it didn’t mean the world to Jimin.

Stumbling a little, he walked up to Namjoon, reaching out for him, still not really believing this was happening.

“I’m not a geisha anymore?” He asked with a quiet voice that only Namjoon could hear, feeling his arm wrap around his waist just right when Jimin felt like the world slipped right from underneath him. “We’re going home? You and me? And we’re going to order pizza? Drink sugary coke? And I will live with you in your apartment? Sleep next to you? In your bed? Will you teach me how to ride a bike?” The questions spilled out of him so quickly, but he needed to know the answers to make sure that for once his dream had become reality, that someone had kept his promise.

Namjoon chuckled at Jimin’s cuteness, kissing him sweet and passionate now that he finally could.

“I told you we would!” Yoongi yelled in the back and then, murmuring to Jungkook “Though no bike riding in the house please. You want to ride a bike too? We can make trips on the weekends then; would you like that?” Jungkook nodded happily and then, as soon as Namjoon and Jimin had stopped kissing ran over to them to hug them from the side, pulling Yoongi along so that he stumbled into them and they were basically all hugging.

Leaning in to Jimin the younger whispered quietly so that only Jimin could hear it: “You were right all along when you told me that this all would be worth it one day. That if we stayed strong and kept going that we would find happiness. I found mine with Yoongi. And I guess Namjoon’s is yours. And even if something changes one day no one can take this moment from us. And we will always have each other. I can’t wait to find out what life will be now outside of the tea house. And I’m so glad that we’re all together.”

Jimin smiled, reaching for Namjoon’s hand to hold it tight as they followed Yoongi and Jungkook who was happily skipping. He let himself get pulled along and to their car and not once did Jimin look back. He didn’t care about his stuff that was never his to begin with. He had everything he needed right here with him. Taking a deep breath, the young man looked up at Namjoon who just opened up the car door for him to step in. His handsome face was turned towards him in smiling welcome; eyes full of love and trust. Love is a road long and hard, which makes it even more important to travel it with the right person. Love was a fight worth fighting and a victory worth having. He found it in Namjoon and found comfort and security in knowing that it would be all okay with him by his side. And no matter what the future still hold, no matter how many times he had to face Hoseok once more, he knew he wasn’t alone anymore. And if love was a choice, he would chose him, over and over again.

A/N: Another story is done :) What did you think??? We hope you enjoyed this story!! Yes, we know we don’t give too much closure on whats going to happen with Hoseok - but we can ensure you that Namjoon will go against him and make him pay but it was most important to him to get Jimin out first. And he will love Jimin forever and ever and hold him tight every night and give him everything he needs. And yes, maybe Jungkook will accidentally bump into Yoongi’s expensive vase because he tried biking in the living room. But he will still love him.

Don’t forget that I posted a new fic trailer for the next upcoming fic. A guardian angel AU with Minjoon and Yoonkook - again. Lmao, yeah. It’s just what we love writing :DD But there will be two Yoonmin stories coming out soon as well as we participated in an event. So look out for those!

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chiefnooniensingh · 5 years ago

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I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Chapter 10

Chapter 10: I can’t keep it all together

In this chapter: In the past, Isobel Bracken-Evans finds something that changes her life forever. In the present, time is running out and Alex is stuck. Michael is more and more honest, but is he as trustworthy as he seems?

A/n: A little shorter than usual perhaps, but we're hurtling towards the end here. Anyone have any idea yet?

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@merlinss) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don’t know if I would’ve finished it without you guys!

So @Lire_Casander guessed both last week's title and the one the week before that. Chapter 7 was called You should give me a chance (this can't be the end), which is one of the most heartbreaking lines of the song Still in love with you by the Scorpions, and I always imagine Malex while singing it. I even made a gifset of it. Chapter 8 was called Come Back (I still need you) which is from Hold on by Chord Overstreet.

Can anyone guess this week's?

also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

June, 1934

Isobel Evans-Bracken was clearing out the attic of their new house. They’d been living there for well over a year, yet the attic had filled up with their stuff fairly quickly, as stuff was wont to do. Old reports cards and art projects Mrs Evans had kept, and Isobel had never had the heart to throw away; pictures of her and her brothers before she and Max were adopted; toys from when she was little – okay, so maybe it was mostly her stuff. Her husband wasn’t a sentimental man, he barely had anything from his youth. Isobel knew precious little about that time in his life because it was very painful for him to talk about. She knew he fled a colonized, war-riddled country after the Great War and had a hard time adjusting to the States. But the circumstances that caused him to leave, the hardships of living in and not being accepted in a new, strange country, those details he had never shared with anyone.

She loved and trusted him anyway. If he ever wanted to share those details in time, she would be there to listen.

In the back Isobel found some boxes she didn’t recognize. There was no name scribbled on the sides and she couldn’t even remember these being part of the many, many boxes the movers took upstairs for storage. Odd. She pulled one towards her and opened it, curiosity getting the better of her, as it often did.

“Izzy? Are you home?”

“I’m upstairs, darling!” Isobel called down as she took out several yellowed newspaper clippings. They were all connected to a 15-year-old cold case, a little girl who was murdered in Roswell, New Mexico. Isobel sorted through them, going from the first “Ortecho Family Drama Unfolds” clipping, to the discovery of the body two weeks later. Why was Noah keeping these?

“What are you doing in the attic?” Noah’s voice was coming closer, climbing the stairs towards her.

“Oh, just sorting through some of my stuff,” she said absentmindedly as she flipped through the newspapers. “You know, old memories and – ” She broke off mid-sentence as she came to the date of the arrest of the one and only viable suspect. A picture was next to the short report of the arrest and the young man, whose identity was not known at the time. She knew it though.

It was Noah.

He was about 20 in this picture, and since it was 1920, the timeline matched roughly with him fleeing his country. He looked younger, thinner and harder. But Isobel recognized him immediately.

“Old memories?” Noah’s voice was now almost at the attic door and Isobel jerked out of her stupor. She stuffed the newspapers back in the box and pushed them to the side, grabbing some art projects from a nearby pile, just in time before the attic door opened and Noah came in, smiling. She held up her projects, working hard to bring a smile on her face and not giving anything away.

They spend the rest of the afternoon looking at her projects and old pictures and Isobel, having learned from early childhood to lie through her teeth, pretended nothing was wrong.

The next day, after Noah had gone to work, she went back to the attic and took out the box again. Now with more time she spread the newspaper clippings out before her and examining them more closely. Now she saw Noah’s tiny handwriting in the margins. If before she could pretend this was just her husband’s weird hobby, after reading some of his notes, she couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

His note under the news of the discovery of Rosa’s body was especially damning. Weren’t supposed to find her this soon. Cover tracks immediately.

Isobel let out a single, shocked sob.

The note by the news that Jim Valenti had killed herself made her blood run cold. Good riddance.

Her husband had killed Rosa Ortecho and had gotten away with it.

She had married a murderer.

Present day, 22nd of October, 1935

“No one gets off this train without being accompanied by me or the staff from the other carriages, is that clear?” Alex stood in front of the train door, having arrived just in time to stop people from swarming onto the platform for one last breath of fresh air before the final leg of the journey. Every face he saw was mutinous, but Alex couldn’t risk anyone escaping. Kyle was locked up for now, but the mystery was by no means solved. Someone else still could’ve committed the crime, could still be planning to run.

“Can I at least get out?” His father appeared beside the other travellers, his nose still very noticeably broken, a front tooth missing. Alex felt a savage pleasure at seeing the tables turned.

Alex shrugged. “I could literally not give any less of a fuck what you do with your time.”

Despite the hard feelings towards him, the other passengers sniggered, which made Jesse Manes turn red. He shouldered passed Alex and disembarked the train, letting in a blast of cold air. But it was clear they’d cleared the Alps; the cold wasn’t as biting as it had been. Michael stepped up, looking sheepish. Alex knew why; he was feeling it, too. They were each other’s something, which made this entire situation all the more complicated. They didn’t know how to act around each other. “I need to call Jack, tell him we’ve arrived at Lausanne.”

“Yes, alright. I’ll have to accompany you,” Alex said, opening the door and allowing Michael to get out ahead of him.

“Well, if you must,” Michael said, with a mock tone of exasperation. Alex followed him to the phone booth on the platform, then sat down on a bench a few feet away, taking out his notebook and going over it all for what felt like the eight thousandth time. He knew most of it by heart now, but that didn’t mean it made the mystery any clearer.

He was still immersed when Michael sat down next to him. “Jack says the Compagnie is not pleased by our delay. I told him to tell them to ‘stuff it’. I’m not sure he will.”

Alex snorted, looking up from his notebook and straight into Michael’s eyes. They were twinkling lightly, as if a murderer had never ruined this trip beyond repair. “You always did have a way with words.”

“I try.”

Alex shook his head with a smile and looked back down to his notebook. “I don’t think I can figure it out, Michael,” he said after a minute silence. Michael looked up, his eyes filled with sympathy. “Literally anyone could’ve done this. Sure, there are several people with motive. Kyle, Max, Isobel – ”

“ – me,” added Michael, with a half-smile. At Alex’s shocked expression. “Come on, Alex, you know you can’t deny it. I have as much motive as Max has. I love Isobel. I don’t know if the allegations of abuse were true, but you know I would never have waited to find out if those rumours reached me.”

“Yes, but I know you – ”

“You saying I’m not capable of murder?”

“No, I’m saying you wouldn’t have the patience to wait around and plan a perfect murder. You’re impulsive and rash and emotional and if someone hurts someone you love, you don’t wait to get retribution. You find it immediately.”

Michael choked out a surprised laugh. “Well, you’re not wrong. I’m surprised you still know so much about me.”

Alex brushed his hand against Michael’s, only briefly, but enough for the familiar rush of warmth go through him. “I don’t think I ever could’ve forgotten about you.”

Michael grabbed Alex’s hand and pressed a swift kiss to the back of it. “You’re a foolish romantic, Alexander Manes.”

“I know. Always been my problem.”

The two of them looked at each other, before Michael tore his eyes away. “So what are you going to do when we get to Paris?”

“I don’t know. I have to give the police something. There was a murder on this train. I can’t show up empty-handed after three days spent with all the suspects.”

“Tell me your thoughts,” Michael said, sitting up straight and giving him his undivided attention.

Alex blinked, surprised. “Okay,” he said, then opened his book. “Noah Bracken, 35, murdered in a locked room. Stab wounds to the chest. No stab wound is identical. It’s like the person stabbing him tried to make it look like different people did it.” Michael straightened further, giving Alex a nod to continue. “Isobel is the most obvious suspect, since she was in the room. But there’s nothing else that points to her, and if it’s true she took Barbital, she was physically incapable of waking up. Max Evans lied about being her brother and was seen fighting with Noah just a few weeks before the murder, possibly about Isobel. You brought on board the murder weapon – which you stole from my house fifteen years ago, I might add – and turned out to be Isobel’s other brother. Kyle has the strongest motive, seeing as his father killed himself in the wake of the Ortecho case. But he supposedly has an alibi, provided by Maria, whose alibi was first her mother and then Kyle, which makes her a very shaky character witness. Mr Otto tried to run, his daughter’s alibi has him sleeping. However, she was apparently also talking to Max Evans. The murder was committed at 4:30, not 3, a fact Kyle knew and decided to conceal, along with his true identity…” He trailed off, sighing deeply. “I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to tell the police. I can’t give them anything.”

“Would that be so bad?” Michael said softly, and Alex looked at him startled. “Noah Bracken was a terrible person, a murderer. Would it be so bad to, I don’t know, let his murderer get away with it?”

Alex rested his head against the station walls behind him and let out a long sigh. “I don’t know if I can. I’ve always had a very clear moral code. And no matter what crimes a person committed, they should always get a fair trial. Murder is not an excuse for murder.” He looked at Michael with a sad smile. “I’m a murderer, too, you know.” Michael looked back at him, shocked, and Alex swallowed. He’d never told anyone about this particular dark place of his psyche, but he pressed on. “I murdered dozens of faceless men on the battlefield. I am a murderer. And I got away with it. Because it was in service of my country. That…injustice to my victims will never go away. But I can try and give other victims justice. That’s why I became a private investigator after I was injured. To make up for the murders I got away with.”

“Oh, Alex…” Michael began, but then jumped up as the train whistle blew. “Jesus, we have to leave! Get on the train, quickly!”

They ran inside and only just jumped on when the train lurched into motion. Out of breath, the two men leaned against the train wall, both chuckling. “You know, Alex,” Michael said, turning his head to look at him with a smile, “I think you’re closer than you think you are. You have all the puzzle pieces, I’m sure of it. Now you just gotta find how they fit together.”

He closed the distance between them and pressed a light kiss to Alex’s lips, before sauntering off in the direction of his cabin. Alex stayed behind, biting his lower lip pensively, his thoughts whirling.

Most of his thoughts were devoted to the question that was driving him insane; was Michael guilty or not? He tried his hardest to push it to the background, because he didn’t know the answer and it wasn’t helping. He still had almost a day before they would arrive in Paris and he needed to figure it out before then.

Even if Noah Bracken was an absolute monster, he deserved justice. Just like Rosa Ortecho had deserved justice.

Alex looked at himself in the reflection of a window. He scoffed when he realized the truth in his eyes; this hadn’t been about justice for quite a while now. It was a mixture of pride and protectiveness. Alex protected those he loved, and even ten years apart hadn’t stopped him loving Michael.

He wanted to solve this case to prove that he could. He wanted to solve this case to clear Michael’s name. Preferably, the solution would lead to both outcomes.

Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, he went over to the Bracken’s cabin, which had been locked after Isobel had been moved into Miss Otto’s cabin for the remainder of the journey. He took out Michael’s keys and opened it. The body had been moved to the freezer in the kitchens for preservation, but the rest of the cabin remained untouched. Alex turned to look at the inside of the door, inspecting it closely, hoping to find any clue. A handprint. A hair. Anything that would help Alex in his search for the murderer. Not even the lock was picked, there were no scratches or signs of damage on it whatsoever.

It meant the killer had either had a key or had left through the window.

That information helped exactly no one, because those had always been the only two options of this murder, shy of Isobel having murdered her husband herself, which Alex still didn’t think the most likely of options. He straightened up and looked around the cabin. He crouched down, realized his leg wouldn’t allow it and sat down completely instead, changing his perspective. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a scenario.

It was evening, Mr and Mrs Bracken had just returned to their cabin, exhausted after a long day of travelling. “Darling, can you give me the Barbital, please?” Isobel asked. Noah handed the bottle to her without speaking. He changed into his pyjamas and got into bed, while Isobel rummaged some more. “I ordered some tea,” Isobel said, arranging her pillows.

“That is excellent, my sweet,” Noah said, already half asleep.

There was a heavy knocking on the door and the door opened to reveal Michael, who was holding a tea tray. “Here you go, Mrs Bracken,” Michael said, his eyes flickering to Mr Bracken, who threw him a dirty look for having woken him up. “A good night to you both,” Michael continued, seemingly unbothered. With a nod and a smile at Isobel, he left.

Isobel poured out the tea and handed a cup to her husband. They drank in silence, before Isobel dropped a kiss to Noah’s cheek and went to bed herself. Noah dropped off to sleep almost immediately, but Isobel stared at the ceiling for a good long while.

Alex opened his eyes, wondering how close to the truth this scenario was. Was this when Noah Bracken had been sedated? Had Isobel put the Barbital in his tea? Or had Michael done that? He looked around the cabin again, trying to reset the scenario. He settled his back against the door and tried to get comfortable for a few rundowns of possible scenarios.

He was going to be here a while.

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