#first of all I blocked tumblr live with both so I'll never see that shit again I hope

[sockeyesoren]

I love computer

[theunsweetenedtruth]

Kinksize

AN: Request from Tumblr: Can I request a fic where the main girl is used to dealing with indecisive and small, in both body and mind, men and when she meets M'Baku who wants to court her she's just blown away by his big personality and size? Just completely enamored by his build and his presence.

Originally written in 2019 and somehow this still works LMAO

Desiree was tired. Once again, she'd had to walk out of a date with another man who found her intelligence, her ideals, her body to be too big to handle. In order to try to handle her, he'd begun talking shit. 

"You know you'll never get a man acting like that," Christ or Craig or whatever the fuck his name was said.

"I'm sorry? Acting like what?" Desiree was playing dumb. Let this nigga dig his own hole.

Carlos couldn't let the moment to 'educate' her pass. He sat up in his seat, leaning forward eagerly.  "You act too smart and too busy. I mean, I don't want a woman who knows more than I do or who makes more than I do. I'm the man so I'm supposed to provide for you. And what you know so much about politics for anyways? I don't even see the point in voting. I'm gonna be fine irregardless."

Desiree made note that irregardless was being used incorrectly and took a sip of her water. They hadn't even ordered yet.

"And I need a woman who's all about me and what I have going on anyways."

"I'm sorry what is it you do?"  

"I'm a real estate agent but I work at Target too."

"Do you have your realtor's license?"

"Well...no. But I'm working on it."

"So you work at Target." Desiree rolled her eyes discreetly. But she was supposed to quit her job as the pricing manager of a major freight and logistics company to make him feel better about himself? She took another sip of water. 

"Yeah I can get you a discount on jeans and pants and stuff." Desiree thought if the discount at Target would be worth it but then decided she'd rather pay full price at Target everyday for the rest of her life than to deal with his attitude. "You could lose some weight first and then I'll help you get some new Target clothes."

"Excuse me?" Her tone was icy; any other man with sense would've immediately backtracked.

Cory wasn't that smart.

"Yeah you could lose like 100 pounds. I don't need a fat girl who's gonna crush me while I'm doing it."

'Doing it.' Yeah she was done.

Desiree took another sip of water before lighting into this sorry excuse for a person. "Why would you think I'd want to fuck you? You're a pathetic man intimidated by the success of a black woman because you have none of your own. Quite frankly, you're not up to my standards and I pity the woman who will settle and out up with your misogynistic crap."

Is what she wanted to say. But there are so many women who end up getting killed after rejecting or embarrassing a man. So instead she got up and walked away.

Desiree sat at the bar of a hotel down the the block. She didn't want to go home and deal with her sister, who kept setting her up with these losers. Lexi had it in her head that Desiree should be out living her life, sleeping around and having fun before settling down and having two kids, just like she did. But Desiree had no desire to settle for a man just for sex and an occasional outing. She wanted to be swept off her feet by a secure man, who didn't demand her submission but willingly accepted. Who was worthy of being submitted to. 

She was the youngest pricing manager at her big time logistics company. She was the final decision maker on several sales approving millions of dollars in revenue a year. She owned her own home, drove a car she bought herself, and had good friends that supported her. So what she hadn't had a relationship since high school? She had all the other aspects that made up a great full life. The man would come later. 

"Is this seat taken?" A deep voice rumbled next to her and Desiree turned to look at the owner. 

Good God she thought. This man is gorgeous. He was broad shouldered, bulging muscles showing through the button up and suit jacket her was wearing. He'd unbuttoned the first two buttons, showing his throat and Desiree had to fight the urge to nuzzle the skin there. Not that she'd be able to reach. At five foot four and 220 pounds, he dwarfed her. He was taller than she was sitting on a bar stool. Desiree wanted to be picked up by this bear of a man, seated on his lap, wrapped in his arms...

A throat clearing shook her from her thoughts. She'd been staring. Her face felt hot with embarrassment. When she glanced back at him, she saw a smirk on his face and she ducked her head gesturing to the seat to her right. 

He signaled for the bartender and Desiree felt like a creep watching thick fingers tap on the bar. She noticed his nails were clean but the hands had the calluses of a man used to manual labor and—

No ring. He heart leapt at the thought that he wasn't taken but she tried to calm herself. In her experience, not having a ring didn't mean anything except that he wasn't wearing one. 

"You make a habit of staring at stranger?" His voice once again rang through her ears, his accent just like the rest of him: thick. 

Desiree met amused eyes. "Only if the stranger is interesting enough to catch my eye." His eyes darkened and Desiree bit her lip at her boldness. She was not like this normally. The bartender setting down his drink saved her from the power of his gaze. 

"I'm M'Baku," he said holding out a hand. 

"Desiree." The way M'Baku said her name back to her made he want to make him say it all night. 

"Are you a guest at the hotel?"

Desiree felt her frustration return at the reminder of what her night had been like so far. "No. I ducked in here to get away from a bad date." 

M'Baku signaled to the bartender again to bring her another drink. "Why don't you tell me about it." 

————————

M'Baku had seen the beautiful Desiree while she was at dinner. He'd been with T'Challa, Erik, and some American business men hoping to wine and dine them into working out a deal. M'Baku wasn't interested, preferring to look around the fancy restaurant he could tell wouldn't serve enough food. 

And something had caught his attention. 

Glory to Hannuman, he thought, looking at the woman. She was elegant looking, natural hair a cloud around her face, delicate shoulders exposed in an off the shoulder top tucked into a shimmery skirt. The skirt reflected blue in the lights of the chandelier and highlighted wide hips and a round behind. She was gorgeous and M'Baku spent many moments staring at her. 

His eyes slid over to the person with her. Her dinner companion was a small man. Not just in stature, but M'Baku could tell that he was small in mind as well. His body language towards the woman in front of him was dismissive and distant. M'Baku wanted to snatch the man up by the collar and give him a shake before whisking the woman away. What he wouldn't give to have such a woman dress up for him. Or undress. 

He could see that the woman was annoyed with the man who was now eagerly talking her ear off. Before he could make the decision to rescue her from her date, she got up, gathered her things and walked out. He heard the man complain about her but he was a harmless punk who didn't do anything. M'Baku slumped and tried to listen to the schmoozing going around him. He'd missed his opportunity. 

When he'd entered the hotel, he caught the glimmer of a sequined skirt out the corner of his eye. He didn't explain himself to T'Challa or Erik, walking towards Desiree without a backwards glance. He wouldn't let another opportunity pass him by. 

Now he was sitting, listening to Desiree lament the details of her short lived date. She was more beautiful up close, her hand gestures wild and her hair moved as she did. M'Baku watched as her lips moved; he was enamored. 

"Well his loss is my gain," M'Baku said sliding him arm across the back of her chair. He was testing the waters; it was clear she was attracted to him but enough to spend the night together? Enough to possibly spend their lives? M'Baku was all in already. 

Desiree leaned into him. "My night has definitely turned around." She had a sexy smirk on her face.

M'Baku moves in to whisper in her ear. "Would you like to make the night better?" Her eyes smoldered. It was a go

————————

Desire was in the elevator, standing across from M'Baku, on the way to the top floor, panicking on the inside. She was a modern, 21st century woman; she'd had her fair share of sexual experiences but never so soon after meeting someone. She didn't think of it as a one night stand though; she could tell that he was serious. He'd listened to her and wanted to make her night better. Desiree was someone who went off of vibes with a person and she felt safe with M'Baku, as she'd known him for a longer time than just the night. Plus even if it was only a one night thing, Desiree knew it'd be the best night of her life. 

She pushed off the wall to the elevator to approach M'Baku. His eyes were dark as he watched her. When she was chest to chest with him, she pressed up to her toes. He bent his head and met her halfway, pressing soft, full lips to her own. His beard tickled her chin and she slipped her tongue in his mouth. His hands ran down the length of her spine, over her hips, to curve to her ass and squeezed. Desiree moaned into his mouth and M'Baku pulled away to press kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, and her neck, suckling in a way that had Desiree mewling. 

The ding of the elevator wrenched them away from each other. Desiree smiles at him bashfully and M'Baku answered with a grin of his own. He held out a hand and she placed hers in his. They walked in silence, hand in had to his room. They were really going to do this. Desiree couldn't wait. 

M'Baku fishes the key out of his pocket and opened the door for her. Desiree steppes into the suite. It was extremely fancy. She could tell from his clothing that this man wasn't like anything she'd dealt with before, but his hotel reiterated this. She took in the neatness, clothes hung in the closet behind glass doors and a fur throw was at the end of the bed. Desiree ran her hand through the fur before turned back to M'Baku. 

He was watching her move around his space. The air between them was thick with anticipation of what was to come. They both knew what the other wanted; it was just a matter of who would make the first move. 

It was M'Baku this time. He slowly crossed the room, shrugging off his dinner jacket. The white button up was tight across his chest and his muscles rippled with each step. He wrapped thick arms around her waist before lowering his head and kissing her again. It was the same dance in the elevator, lips sliding along, tongues delving into one another's mouths. M'Baku nipped at her lips, tugging at the skin of her lower lip. Desiree wrapped her arms around his neck. Sliding his hands to her thighs he hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. If she wasn't in love before, she was now; this was some movie shit. She'd never thought she'd meet a man who could handle her in this way. 

M'Baku sat on the bed before lying back, Desiree straddling his hips. She felt his erection press into her core and wound her waist to grind down on him. She reached to begin unbuttoning his shirt, caressing his skin as she went. He moved to help her undress, stroking her belly and putting calloused hands on her breasts. He pulled her nipples through her bras d he felt her grind down on him harder. 

They rushed to get the other's clothes off, getting distracted as more skin exposed and pressing kisses to each other. When Desiree saw M'Baku's erection she felt faint. He was big everywhere. His fingers slipped into her panties and her played with her swollen clit before going lower to finder her already slippery. Desiree's eyes closed against the sensation. His fingers were thick playing with her, stretching her wide. 

"Condoms?" 

"I don't have any. Didn't plan this." M'Baku's rough voice sounded in her ear as he kept fingering her. 

"I'm clean..." 

"So am I." 

"You can pull out." M'Baku groaned and Desiree was tossed on her back. 

————————

M'Baku felt wild with a need he had t felt in a long time. This woman was strong his blood on fire underneath his skin. She was allowing him to kiss and caress her but also go inside and bring them both pleasure. He kissed her as he removed the rest of her clothes. 

Desiree's dark nipples were puckered for his pleasure and ducked his head to suckled. Her moans were music to ears as he alternated between both, plucking with his fingers at the other. He leaned back to grip his dick, the head leaking already. He was hard and ready. He tapped the head on her clit after a few times before going in as slow as he could. 

M'Baku felt her stiffen up. He did his best to keep still but she was warm and wet and tight. He wasn't even halfway in and he felt like he would burst already. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah..."She was panting. "Just go slow." M'Baku pulled out and pushed back in further. He heard her make a boise that had him dig in her deeper. His mouth fit over hers as he moved his hips, his dick sliding against her slowly, pulling on her clit. 

"Baku," she cried out. She was gushing over him and he kept slipping and sliding deeper until he was all the way in. They were both panting while M'Baku wined his hips into her. 

"What is it baby? What do you need?"

"That's it keep going like that. You got me so wet." She was winding her hips back on him, setting a new pace and M'Baku changed his stroke to keep up. His head was full of her. What was she doing to him 

A deep groan wretched it's way out of his throat. Her pussy was gripping him. "Shiiiit...oh shiiiiiittt." Desiree wrapped her legs around his waist and bucking into him. He looked down to where they were joined and she was creaming, painting his dick white. The heavy sounds of skin slapping and Desiree calling him daddy was fading away to a ringing noise in his ear. He needed to pullout before he came. 

"Come on Desiree. Cum for me." He kept dragging his dick thrusting hard. He felt her squeeze around him, gripping him almost painfully. She cried out loudly gripping his arms and dragging her nails down his bicep. The pain mixed with the overwhelming pleasure had him scrambling to pull out. He drenched her clit and folds with his cum, his orgasm longer and stronger than he'd ever experienced. He had a brief thought of cumming inside her before brushing it away. Now that he'd found her. He had no intention of letting her go. There'd be other opportunities. 

He looked at Desiree. She had a blissful look on her face and was laying boneless with glassy eyes. He'd fucked her well. He rolled over to the side of the bed and struggled to get to his feet. She'd fucked him just as good, his legs were shaking. He came back with a warm, wet rag to clean up the mess they'd made. When he was finished, he went back into bed and pulled Desire into his arms, navigating around the wet spot they'd left. Desiree was asleep, small puffs of breath tickling his chest. M'Baku was the epitome of satisfaction. He would wake her up in a few hours for another round but he was content to watch her, the woman he wanted in his future.

[shellofhappiness]

Day 78984 of someone thinking Dylan didn’t give a fuck about eric the same amount as he did for Dylan whatever reason.. I’m tired like genuinely why the hell do people think this. And please don’t say bc Dylan wanted to plan nbk with a bitch because omg that was a blip compared to the planning with eric. It was a fuckin delusion and was not him planning for anything. There was only one nbk plan and that was between Eric and Dylan. Also people use the dumbass point that, “oh Dylan had more friends so he didn’t care about Eric that much” like huh?? None of Dylan’s friends at that point where as close as he was with Eric by senior yet by a landslide, also you can have a shit ton of friends (which Dylan did not) and still have that one mf you fw a lil bit more than the rest and you’re crazy of you don’t think that mf was eric. But I would like to hear why you think Dylan did not give a shit about eric the same amount

I do not see the point in wasting precious time to examine this topic with you when you are embarrassingly incompetent in misinterpreting my words as whatever wall you want to argue with. To make your point, you sent two paragraphs of avoidable aggression to my inbox. While I agree that I overlooked the prospect of Dylan deliberately warping his tie with Eric to exploit the “narrative” to be in his control as you mentioned in your other anon. But, there is no way to provide solidified proof of that other than it being in line with his "disposition," which would be superfluous considering it's psychologically impossible to "define" anyone's self, even mine and your own. Even then, if we put ourselves in Eric's shoes in this scenario, wouldn't it still be hurtful to find out your best friend was purposefully making the effort to make it seem like you two weren't as close as you were when you didn't agree on it and still talked about him as normal? Why would he do that when you two are practically starting a "revolution" together? Did you misinterpret what you two had? What is the reason?? Point being: my post still applies with this hypothetical in mind.

I'm sorry if my post struck a nerve for you and your model fabrication of superficial postmodernist love being an act of murder-suicide. Yet, I am a stranger on Tumblr Dot Com, likely the reason you feel so comfortable being openly hostile on anonymous because you don't know me, and I don't know you. Why can't we all have fun? Why are we not open to believing what we want to believe? If you are so disturbed by how significantly my post intruded on your sentiments because I articulated my own introspections in a way you weren’t personally accommodated to, just block and move on with your day.

I completely acknowledge the assertion that they were real, living people, surviving living emotions, but NEITHER of us knew them. We could both be right, we could both be wrong. Why get up in arms about a scenario we'll never have an in-depth answer to besides the scraps we've been given to form our own bigger picture, subconsciously echoing our mentality and toils with depicting individuality?

If you had come to me with the knowledge you gave, calm and civilized with the intention to apprise me of the details I either disregarded or didn’t even know about in the first place, I would’ve loved nothing more than to sit down and chat, but you make it a bit too apparent you lack the capability to compel heart, even when you reeeeally don’t want to, and communicate so both of us could depart as sounder, more enlightened, individuals. Jeeesus.

EDIT: I realize in retrospect what may have incited this was when I twisted Eric's quote to be about him and Dylan. I'll admit it when looking directly at it, it was a stretch for me to include. I even thought that to myself when writing the passage, but I still decided to keep it there to describe their own personal ideals on the concept of experiencing love in general, rather than it being towards each other. Hence why I emphasized it wasn't about them being gay or anything along the line of that, including their own personal relationship, love coinciding or not. Somewhat unrelated, but I still feel obligated to mention, I remember someone made a post on here forever ago that Eric possibly instead had, even just a little thought, of Dylan in mind when he spoke about people exaggerating their feelings and assuming them to be love. People who obsess tend to have that problem, so we can connect the dots together. Did this clear things up though? Probably not. Bleeeeh!!!

[fischlslays]

Update on the Raelya Raasini situation..!

Lmao, as yall know from the last post, she was stalking me and some creepy shit. My friend @hunterxhunterisbest contacted her and guess what? She denied that she talked about me💀 bro its so obvious, and you acting stupid is actually driving me nuts💀

Like bro even took the "I always knew Mona mains can get along with Fischl mains." From my blog and said, "I wasn't talking about her, but the first one."

💀💀

AND, she stalked my account long enough to know that I put her in my DNI list, here is the conversation between her and my friend. I'm rlly srry for y'all's eyes💀

HELP I CANT WITH BITCH ANYMORE.

And btw, again, calling me a "bish" did nothing at all.

How you felt after calling me a "bish":🥰���💋💅🔥

Bro pls use something else, you called me a bitch 4 times in row now, be creative. And we both know that you still have access to your goddamn account💀

Esther (my friend) had to go through hell and meet Satan to get this ugly ass mf to text back💀💀

"TELL ME" 💀💀 I don't have to say anything, do I? "I blocked her too! How-" that's even worse bro💀 and yall better be grateful for yalls ass😭 I'm rlly sorry Esther.

💀💀

"But she doesn't know one small detail" "I'm still there" bro watched a lil too much of Batman💀 its insulting to compare him to some random ugly ass mf on tumblr💀 even Esther herself said: "why is she acting so cringy? Is she going to tell me a government secret?😭"

Bro stalked for too long to see my DNI list💀💀 and yea, Esther hates you and thinks you the cringiest person to ever step a foot on this Earth. And no she ain't neutral💀

Yes, you are the creepiest person I've ever talked to💀 and you still deny it. See? That mf admitted that she was stalking me, lmao, tbh, you though you actually changed smth💀 I already knew that you are a creepy stalker, I didn't need you to inform me, but thank anyway.

"She put me in her DNI list."

"And you still interacted?"

"Yes, because I'm not Raeyla"

"Have you lost it?"

Lmao this part got me laughing����😭

I know you are not Raeyla, but didn't want to expose you to your sweet friends and virtual family, nor your dear followers💀, "Raasini". Tbh, I'm glad that is not your name, because it would be such a waste of a pretty name on a shitty person💀

"I called her friend a loser bc she is"

💀 mf don't get Leisel into this. You actually thought you did smth?💀💀 bro go cry yourself to sleep or smth, it would've been better for all of us💀 and for the third time, Leisel ain't a loser, and again, you clearly didn't see your self💀do us a favour and never show your fac again, and leave your blog, no one is going to miss you anyway💀 if you lied about your name, why would your followers trust you again?💀 Next time Raasini tries to act cool, remember that she likes Hisoka (a pedophile from hunter x hunter), Oliver Tree(search what he did to Melanie), and The Manni Show (master of slurs).💀

"Idk hes hot" 💀💀 go get your eyes checked. Is this what you call hot?

Raasini is this your man?💀💀 I don't blame you, you get attracted to shit cuz u are, rlly. U guys deserve eachother.💀

Again, I'm rlly sorry Esther, and I sorry for everyone who's reading this except that mf, I bet she cringed too💀

"Peace✌" Bitch shut up💀 bro tried so hard to be Drake💀💀 NOT THE "..."💀

hoW dAre yOU! 💀 I swear no one cares, and I feel so bad for Esther. And btw Esther, you ate. And I agree with every single word you said.

And since that mf said that she just said what I did to her, I'm done, that's it, if you are playing that game, I'll do so too💀

Oh, by the way, remember the time you faked living in Ohio? And the time you were hard-core simping over Kaeya and Scaramouche and called them daddies but then you call me and Leisel losers for liking Fischl and Mona?💀 Or the time you acted all cringy by stuttering through text even though you weren't not Role-playing? Or the time you used the "..." so damn much that I gave my phone the nastiest side eye ever? And the time you acted all emo?💀 bro I have too much things, but I too lazy to list them all, and i don't want my followers to cringe💀

Here is my gift for you <3 tbh, I glad not the only who thinks that💀 and Raasini, your grammar and spelling books are crying in the corner💀 victim rizz fr. and when I saw the screenshots that Esther sent me, you wrote "bulliying"💀 I didn't know ppl could fuck up the word Bullying. Bro, are you even 17?💀💀

And thx @sulli1361 for your advice, I blocked her, let's hope that mf doesn't make another account to stalk me again💀 because I'm so done with her.

Thx @notafan77 for your prayerz

And thx for @urbestgirlever and @hunterxhunterisbest for keeping up with her

And did you actually put an Oliver Tree quote on your post that was supposed to "expose" me?💀 I hope you are truly embarrassed, because if I was you I'd never show my face ever again. Not for the next 15 years at least.

And if yall want me to posy the screenshots, just tell me, I don't mind, that bitch asked for it.

"Peace out✌" this is going to haunt Mr down forever. Thx Raasini, I'm Traumatised, and so are my followers.

Tags (sry for yalls eyes): @foreveryoung @toxiccluvvv @breaking-panic @disa-ster @whatskillingthekids @vernadettachiara @sillyreadergal-blog @bleakqblake @shinobusupremecy @shinobuscanonwife @shinobu @shinobu-blogging-blog @slutsssphobia @sluttsxphobia @ask-the-insect-hashira @anime-fan- @astrox @simpinxdisrespectfully @pr3tty @notafan77 @piercingmylove @honeydazai @hunterxhunterisbest @hopperowo @toastdee66 @ask-chachamaru-kny @sulli1361 @ask-thekny @orangepegacorn-blog @booplsnoot @ilynaru @ilynes @sarahwinchester97 @mistymuichiro @mistymuichirou @reawakened-goddess @seaacutie42 @limeiscool @limebreaker @urbestgirlever @popcorn-and-other-fun-stuff @hottestcelebrities @horrorchicxoxo @delmissesryan @tomioka-pudding

[dead-air-radio]

Omg here's me just talking about my day so if you're here for gore and sexual stuff this is not it. This is more like a rant/vent lmao so if you're here for me this is for you lmao

Bro I need you guys to understand how much I love this friend of mine. Like not in a romantic or platonic way like neither. He's genuinely like god I don't know what I'd do without him he's literally family, him and their gf are literally closer to me than my actual family and they are in fact my family. Like okay family lore guys gather round but when I had first met my ex it was by one of my best friends if your an Og you know her as M. And pretty much she had 2 best friends that were her ride or die for like 7years and one was my ex and the other was the dude I'm talking about in the beginning I legit might as well just call him my dad cause we'll he is. He was there for me throughout me and my exes relationship and he'd talk with me a lot and we like bonded instantly into like mentor type ass bond. And when my ex started becoming more and more abusive I thought my dad( my friend) would side with him cause yknow people usually side with the person they know longer and they were best friends. And at first I'd talk about it and he never once made me feel like he thought I was lying or that he didn't care. Ofc in the beginning he chopped my ex being so harsh and stuff to 'oh that's always him he's my brother and he'd do nothing like that on purpose I'll give him a talk and just know it's okay to tell me these things etc etc." At the time he was in a bit of disbelief cause well the way my ex acted towards people was like slowly ramping up.

And then I full on had confessed to my dad how he would do certain things (which I didn't even consider rape or abuse at the time) and immediately he just blocked him he sent a message before he did to my ex being like " hey the way you treat Sawyer who you know I see as my son is not smth I want in my life and if you don't cut the shit I don't want to talk to you nor do I want you going around sawyer" (when I read these messages i cried so hard lol I love my dad sm) also my dad (still talking about my friend guys lol) he's a pyshcology major and he's becoming a therapist and when I was trying to detach myself from my ex it was really hard cause I thought I deserved it and it didn't count as rape etc etc.

Pretty much I didn't want to write this man out to be a rapist especially to his 2 best friends. When I had told them about what he did to me it was as a reason why I was gonna stop talking to all of them cause I didn't want to paint him to be a bad person and that i knew if i kept talking about it to them they wouldn't like him so I was basically just trying to pretend like I was never introduced to them so they could keep liking my ex as their brother. But both have stayed by my side even after me n my ex stopped talking. They hate him which makes me feel guilty but I'm glad they've been here with me. I would not be alive if it wasn't for M and my dad. (This is the ex that made me stop using all socials and cut myself off the face of the earth and decided maybe I should try tumblr cause no one I know uses it and I could vent there so you can thank him for you guys hearing this ig lolz)

Anyways lore aside present time so my ex lived a couple hrs away from me but in the same state and M lives like a couple mins from me but my dad lives in a whole other different state and I've only seen him once in person and it was the week my ex and me stopped talking and the week I almost committed suicide but like after my attempt the next day he was pretty much at my door and it was so amazing I love him so much. And then after that day he had to go drive back home :( and it's been almost a year since I first saw him.

Cut to today and he surprised me last week saying how I'd feel if we went out to eat. And I'm like bro I'd love that but your not here only for him to say he'd be coming to see me and we hung out today for the second time in person and guys I'm literally in love with this man like not romantically like idk hoe to express that this dude is literally my dad I love him like he's my own blood. And he got me sushi and refused to let me pay. He got mad at me anytime I looked at price tags lol.

He's just so great. We only had 5hrs to hangout and he surprised me with a new skateboard so we went skating together too and now the day is over and he's already on his way home :( I miss him so much anyways this post was just me talking about how much I love my dad lol and I'll post pics of my skate board too <3. This genuinely was one of my fav days I loved seeing him and I got a gift from his gf (literally my mom lol) and it's a little wolf stuffy. And they said it reminded them of me. Cause even irl people joke about me being a puppy/dog boy lol. Anyways guys I'm not fatherless lmao. I just miss them and it's gonna make me sad they had to leave lmao

[pondslime]

I've been absent from Tumblr for a couple of days and somehow my FYP is full of Sinclair thots??.?? Is this some national holiday?🥶🥶🥶🥶 I have so many that gnawl at my brain at night.

Imagine calling Bo Beauregard for the first time🤐🤐🤐 You're either trying to be serious and have a real conversation with him for the first time since settling in Ambrose (spoiler: this is impossible. He's misogynistic and a firm believer that there's nothing to talk about with girls🩷🩷🩷🩷 he gives off that TikTok vibe "Do girls even have hobbies?" Like bro, drinking bear and crying ain't a hobby either), or you're so exhausted with his neanderthal shenanigans that you just sigh "Beauregard...." while absolutely pissed off and annoyed.

I just KNOW mama Sinclair would call him Beauregard in that no-nonsense tone when he would rip a hole in his dress pants before church , he must have PTSD from hearing his own freaking name. He's so used to being just Bo, that the only times he even acknowledges his full name are when he's either being scolded by his parents or when he's arrested and sees it on the paperwork.

So yeah, long story short I doubt he'd be amused by anyone calling him Beauregard. RIP MC.

*bonus crack thought* I remember talking here with someone about how Fucking Funny™ would it be to call Bo Robert. I'm not a native English speaker and I honestly never heard of the name Beauregard before😭😭😭 I just assumed Bo is like Bob, which is Robert😂😂😂😂 I'd get smacked on the head with a wrench for trying to be cute and calling him Robert. End scene

omg jhdsjhfjd not the fyp being inundated w/my dumbassery 💀

I lowkey felt like I was spamming the dash last night. BUT idk what came over me, I've had a couple days off work and I'm in a chatty mood hjhdsjahjhsdjh like. I just wanna TALK about this goofy ass movie?? **note to all the poor souls that might be following me rn: pls feel free to block the tag "sinclair brainrot hours" if u would like to save urself from my shenanigans**

this ask is killin me dshjhdfsjhj DRINKING BEER AND CRYING AIN'T A HOBBY BOY

I'm unfortunately part of the Anti-Beauregard Sinclair Hater Nation. I am, after all, the graphic designer responsible for THIS abomination:

context for this can be found here, with poki's galactic big brain take

I also love this take on what his real actual name is 🐔🧊

I just CANNOT buy this guy as a beauregard hdjhdfjh I simply cannot

HOWEVER. I do this thing w/ppl I'm fond of where I'll lengthen their names in ridiculous ways. like just add in entire syllables and letters that just. wholly don't exist. and I could see one of two situations playing out w/bing bong

scenario one: u drop a "beauregard" out of the blue one day. maybe you're trying to be cute. maybe you're trying to piss him off. he looks over @ u. crinkles his brow and gives u the bitchest lil expression. u best be glad u make good pork chops, WOMAN. bc u can't even remember his NAME. who tf u think ur talkin to??? one of ur fancy shmancy city boys?? get outta here!! just grumblin' around the living room abt how if u want some prissy ass boy w/a genteel ass name like that, his brother's right downstairs grumble grumble mutter mutter

scenario two:

he's been slurpin up that good ambrose moonshine (some crazy ass shit that comes in a jug w/x's on it. u know the one. lester labeled it as "ambrosia" and walks around saying it's the "fruit of the gods" and slappin his knee. bo has no fuckin' idea what he's saying.) and despite his high tolerance, boy's a bit sloshed. so are u. u drunkenly crawl into his lap and call him beauregard. he thinks this is v heehaw funny. whatchu think I am girl?? some kinda royalty?? that pretty lil head of urs is all kindsa messed up!! figure I AM like a king here hehehehehe

both equally as annoying😔

[frogsandfries]

I have had possibly the longest week of my life.

I couldn't do laundry on memorial day.

I had to run to the clinic for my blood test. Got a fairly heavy package yeeted at my head before, while I was at work, so I was getting dizzy while I walked to the bus and the clinic. Looked at Arby's and for the first time in my life I was like 🤢.

I didn't want to waste my time at the ER--I wanted my laundry done for this move which I was looking forward to happening this weekend. I'm going to have to wait till next week, to wait for the new apartment to be in livable condition. So I did a really rudimentary pupil response test in the bathroom. The results seemed normal to me. When I finally got some rest, I felt better, so any confusion may have just been down to fatigue. I got the laundry done Tuesday, and folded and packed most of it Wednesday.

My ex has been harassing and bullying me all week. I take cold comfort in the fact that she blocked me. It means nothing. But I'll admit that being gaslighted that hard, it was triggering and without the tools to handle it myself, or a friend who one of us could easily go to the others' place to ground me, all I could do was seek out a completely objective third party to help me get grounded again. I didn't realize that was a mental health concern I needed to have, so I will happily work on that in therapy.

See what I'm saying? Of course you don't, I didn't mean for that post to go live and my ex was stalking my Tumblr to catch me. I don't know if they screen shotted the post; I don't know what kinds of records they've been keeping.

By the way, reading those messages outside of the moment, the gaslighting seems fucking nuts lmao. It's like when my womb donor used to gaslight me verbally (that person used to also move my possessions) and I was like, this is nuts, is this shit supposed to work?? But then they hound and badger you, upsetting you, and as an authority figure in your life, they really get you going. It was having my shit moved as a kid though. That has really had far-reaching impacts on my life.

Anyway, likewise, they don't know for certain what all I've been documenting. And I sure as fuck won't make the mistake of sharing that. Nobody wants to see that shit. Everyone I've entrusted to hold copies of these images gets angry on my behalf.

Additionally, according to my ex, they didn't throw a box, it's my word against theirs. According to my ex, they've been nothing but cool and kind and so helpful. Y’know, except draining the joint account--it was my stupidery to put my tax money in the stupid joint account--but like, I totally chose to just gift them that money, I should have been more specific about how I wanted the money used 🙄 riiiiggggghhhhht. They've never respected me in three years, why would they start after the dissolution of the relationship. I could have put it in my personal private savings. I should have put it in my personal savings. Personal funds henceforth become personal investment or savings. I will decide what happens to these funds.

Apparently, I didn't need my two thousand dollars, I wasn’t using it. She needed it sooooooooooo much more than I did, so she could properly court her new plaything. 🙄 I would say, I wonder how it feels to have fun with stolen money, but most likely, she's convinced the plaything that either it wasn't stolen, that I'm crazy, and/or somehow, my ex deserves that money. Like, maybe I've been preventing them from getting employment somehow. It's always like that with this type, they're being prevented--not by their own brain, but by a person who might be begging them to get a job because two fully grown adults who can and are earning money makes life easier for both.

I could do a whole post about how I was lied to my entire relationship "I'm trying" "I'm working on it", as told to me with eyes glued to a fucking video game. Even the recent admission that they didn't give a shit what was in my dating bio. They didn't give a shit how many times I hounded them. They didn't give a shit how much it stressed me out and frustrated me. They clearly, very obviously didn't give a shit about the clear, obvious impact letting this place be covered in spilled food and drink and dirty dishes and dirty counters would have--is presently having. They never. Fucking. Respected me. Of course I fucking saw this. Of course I felt stuck. I couldn't get rid of them; how was I supposed to get the money together to move out?

Anyway, since my ex already knows:

I got detectives to remove the computer, so the computer is in Big Timeout and neither of the children get to play with it. If the plaything didn't bring her computer, I'm sure my ex bullied her into buying one so they could empty the hard drive. Or maybe they just trashed it. Who knows. My ex lied to me for three years, so who even the fuck are they? But I keep referring to a hard drive, so I think it's some kind of felony or something if they destroy the hard drive so it can't be searched. Not my problem. I told her I didn't want that shit in my house. I just wanted it to stay an obnoxious meme. I don't know why I imagined she might respect me/my wishes.

I hope with all this drama and stress, the new plaything is seeing more than I was able to. She'll probably just think whatever my ex tells her to. She's super young. Younger than either of our youngest siblings. Which I think, knowing my ex, is weird and gross. But nobody asked me, "age is just a number". My ex doesn't seem to comprehend that most people, normal people, look up to people significantly older than they are. Most people are easily influenced, by their peers.

So anyway, my ex's inability to share the computer with me is really going to come back to bite them. My womb donor's brainwashing is coming back to bite me because I'm sitting here thinking, like, I'm crowing so loudly for this computer if I can't have my cash money back. But I'm also complaining--fairly--that I never get to use the damn thing. What if I sound solely like a bitter ex who just wants to pawn my bullshit off on my dumb ex? That's so dumb. It's pretty obvious I never use the damn thing. Look at my chrome history if you want to see my patterns of use. Looottttttttttssss of image searches for random shit--flowers, poses, I think if you know that I'm a visual artist, it's pretty obvious I'm looking for studies. If you don't know, I'm just super fucking random. But I have nooooooooo idea what my ex's internet history looks like, just that it would be completely different from my own, a digital thumbprint as different as a whorl is from an arch.

Anyway, she's got the two thousand dollars. She can't give it back because she doesn't have a job and there is nothing to give back. She can afford a few more days of Airbnbs or motels or I don't fucking care. I have no sympathy. She had dozens of opportunities to put the money back and cause me to leave the apartment. I'm not leaving the fucking apartment. I work here and I'll be damned if I get fired the same week I get my own apartment. It's not fucking happening.

Every time she has given me information about moving out, I have gone back to the office, physically, my god damn self, to fact check: she cannot change the locks. That's a violation of the lease. The lease does not end until the 18th. She can change the locks at the change of the lease. I don't care; property management will even send maintenance to do it properly. She cannot throw me out, the lease is not being terminated by property management. Her guest is not on this lease. I'm not fucking staying here because it's fucking fun. I'm staying here because I don't want to lose my fucking job.

I think my final point is, I am pretty confident in saying, I could piss a negative pregnancy test and I am genuinely concerned that my ex would do their best to keep an eye on me by whatever means possible for at least a few years. For my own privacy and safety, I will just keep my fertility journey to myself, at least for a while, until everything has settled.

[sugarmaiiu]

Fuck You, Billy. (Part 3)

Part One

Pairing Billy Hargrove x reader

Time Frame: between season 2 and 3 / October 1984 (Billy hasn't gotten his Lifeguard job yet)

Warnings: t/w rough handling, unadmitted consent, semi-lemon (unprotected)

Word Count: 7.7k

First Person POV

a/n: Hi everyone! This is going to be the last part of the Fuck You, Billy series. Anything I write for Billy x fem reader will most likely use this as background knowledge so if I get a request for Billy x fem reader, consider it as a side part for this series. I've really enjoyed coming back to Tumblr after writers block and getting all this love from the community so thank you so much! NOW to address the text at hand, I wanted to make it long so I could wrap it up. As a thank you from the support I've gotten I included a little bit of spice, some lemon perhaps. So buckle up, and get ready cause its show time!

I didn't expect Billy to stick around.

It's been a month since Billy blackmailed me into being his pretend girlfriend, and like now, Billy is still there everyday waiting for me by his car to pick me up after school.

"Took you long enough," he said taking a puff of his cigarette.

"It's Friday, you can afford to wait," I said, "Besides we still have to wait on Max, so don't you start giving me that tough guy bullshit."

He waited till I was right in front of him to blow out his smoke in my face. It smelt terrible and I couldn't help but cough up a lung when he did it.

He was laughing, but still kept his smug composure, "How many times do I have to tell you that you should watch that mouth of yours when you speak to me."

I was still coughing when I flipped him off, only earning myself more laughs from him in response.

"You'll never win me over when you do that kind of shit, " I said when I could finally breathe again. He rolled his eyes and put it out.

"C'mon let's go," he said putting his cigarette out on the concrete.

"What about Max?"

"I already warned her ahead of time, she'll find another way home. Let's go."

Once we got on the road I looked at him in curiosity. I know him, and I know that he must have had some reason to why he shooed off Max.

He said looking at me from the corner of his eye, "For somebody who claims they hate me so much, you sure do stare at me a lot."

"C'mon Billy cut the shit, where we going?"

"Nosey aren't you? You saying you don't trust me?"

"I don't trust any guy with a mullet," I said with a smirk, knowing it'd get a reaction out of him.

He nodded his head and I could see him mouth the word 'Wow', "I'll remember that."

"Good for you, I'm surprised that brain of yours can remember anything at all."

He kept nodding his head with a smile, saying nothing back for a moment, "And here I was about to tell you where we're heading, but I don't remember anymore baby, so guess we'll both just find out when we get there, won't we?."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah alright, but I'm not getting out of this car if you take me someplace weird."

On the way, I thought about that dinner I had with Billy's family the first day all this started between me and him. The whole family, including myself, ate in complete silence. I thought at least Max and her mom, Susan, would talk when Neil had gone back to his chair in the living room after scoffing down his meal, but the dinner table remained speechless.

I will never forget the way Billy looked that night.

He looked broken and letdown, but I could tell that he was just holding out for the sake of not embarrassing himself. He drove me back home in silence that night too, and he didn't even tell me bye once I got out the car. He simply drove off.

I thought for sure he was going to rid of me, but when I saw him waiting for me outside of school the next day, he acted as if nothing ever happened. I haven't been back at his house since and all I could ask myself is 'what happened outside between him and his dad that night.'

Whatever it was, it really affected Billy.

I tried everything to step away from Billy after that night; after I realized how horrible it would be to be involved in his life.

I refused to take a ride home from him day after day, but he'd just show up at my house while my dad was at work. I only spoke to him in very dry responses, but he'd continue to talk to me anyways. I even tried to give him back the clothes he bought for me, but the next day I found them in the mailbox.

After a week of going on like this he still stayed by my side and tried to stop me everyday after school to give me a ride home.

My heart couldn't take it anymore, seeing how much he was putting in to getting my attention back, so I finally just gave in and took the damn ride home.

Though one weird thing I noticed is that he completely stopped touching me. I was curious to why Billy had stopped, but if I was honest I kind of missed it. I caught myself blushing every time I thought about his legs rubbing in between mine, as he pinned me down to my own bed to do it.

I am full of gross self loathing shame for enjoying it.

I know myself, so I knew that if I was aboard his train before, I was definitely on now. Though not only was I just aboard, I was strapped into my seat. I don't think I could break out of it, even if I went at it with full force.

If the Billy Hargrove Express was going to crash, I'd be going down with it.

Billy handed me a bandana, breaking me away from my thoughts, "Put this over your eyes, don't complain about it either," he said.

"Wait why?"

"Jesus, just put the damn thing on. I just said don't give me shit for it."

I looked at him strangely, but took the bandana from his hands regardless. "I don't trust you at all just so you know. I'm only doing it because, knowing you, you'll probably stop us in the middle of the road again, like some lunatic, till I do."

"Damn straight I will, so hurry up and put it on," he said smiling at my comment.

I took a deep breath before tying the cloth around my eyes, completely blinding myself to where we were heading. As much as I give Billy shit, I do actually at least trust him enough to not be some raging serial killer like Ted Bundy.

Billy turned the music up in the car a little bit louder, making it to where all sound I could hear was he music around us.

It gave me shivers not knowing where we were going and having my senses taken away.

I take it back, maybe he could be another Ted Bundy.

If he was a serial killer, I'd be dead. Due to the smooth way the car traveled across the road and the sheer darkness from the blindfold, I fell asleep.

I woke up to Billy picking me up out of my seat. His touch startled me awake and I reached for the blindfold that cover my eyes, out of panic. He grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Hey, if I wanted you to see again, I'd already have taken it off," he said now cradling me in his arms.

"I can walk dipshit, put me down."

"Yeah but then I have to guide your ass, and as funny as it would be too see you wipe out on the ground, I'd rather us just get there as quickly as possible."

I huffed and wrapped my hands around his neck. Even though I couldn't see I knew he'd be smiling like the prick he was because he was getting his way.

"You still want down?", he asked after walking us around a few feet.

"Yes, now can you please just put me down."

"Whatever you say," he said before throwing me out of his arms. I let out a scream, afraid of not knowing how far I was being thrown. I was expecting to hit the ground, but almost immediately as my worry began, I crashed into a soft squishy surface.

He was snickering at my sudden fright. while doing so, he stepped towards me, taking off my blindfold before I could even get situated to be sitting upright.

The sudden light burned my eyes as I looked up at the dark and tall figure above me, which I knew was Billy, even though my vision was still blurry.

It only took a few seconds for my eyes to stop burning, when I realized we were out in the woods, and I was sitting on a couch on some random porch.

Attached to the porch was a small cabin, and not too far off from us was a lake. I looked around, seeing nothing but woods and a small wooden dock, sticking out from the lake's shore.

"You blind folded me to take me here?", I asked looking up at him.

He looked down at me into my eyes before kneeling down to my level, "Yep. We're staying here this weekend, and since you don't really know where we are, you kind of don't have a choice in the matter."

"What about your dad?", I said before pausing, "What about my dad Billy, huh? You ever consider that?"

He shushed me. "Yeah I did actually, and he was ok with it."

"Oh really? So you just called my house, hoped it was my dad, then told him I'd be staying all weekend alone with you. Oh, and in case you forgot, Billy, you are literally a stranger to him." I huffed, "Yeah I don't think he would be quite so ok with that like you claim."

Billy rolled his eyes and shoved the bandana into my mouth in one quick swoop of his hand. "Yeah and that's why I didn't tell him the truth y/n. You think I'm an idiot or something?"

I spit out the bandana, onto the floor, almost as quickly as he shoved it into my mouth.

He was really starting to get on my nerves with the whole inconsiderate bratty child act.

I forced Billy to move back when I practically jumped up from where I was sitting, "You can't just decide I'm staying here Billy! And you lied to my fucking dad to get me here. What the fuck?", I said seconds away from slapping him, but I resisted the urge.

"I'm trying to give you a good weekend and you're mad at me? Your dad thinks your on some trip with the yearbook committee for the this year's yearbook. What's the harm. It's not like I kidnapped you," he said getting in my face.

"Yeah Billy, you basically did. Last time I checked, you never asked me if I was okay with this!", I yelled getting increasingly louder as I spoke.

I went to turn away, and for the first time in weeks he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me in close so he could get in my face. He was about to say something, but instead he looked at me in my eyes.

After a moment of staring into each other's eyes, I thought he was going to kiss me, like he had done before. I mentally prepared myself to be kissed, when suddenly he let me go.

I felt the air crawl it's way out of my body. I felt a ache in my heart but only for a moment. I actually got disappointed he didn't kiss me.

I huffed and internally scolded myself for being disappointed when I said, "You know you could have just asked me to come this weekend. You could at least be kind enough to give me the choice."

"Would you have said yes?", he added quickly.

"I don't know. I-", he interrupted me.

"Would you have said yes, y/n?"

I gulped and let there be a pause before I quietly shrugged my shoulders.

"It's not like I despise being around you. I- just-" , I had to pause to let out a nervous laugh, "I know we can have a good time. I mean I've had a fun time around you before."

He scoffed, "You sure as hell don't act like you have."

"Billy, you can't be serious?", I asked.

"No, I'd like to genuinely know, because I sat around for you everyday like some needy bitch, and you walked all over me for days despite that. Do you know how fucking embarrassing that is for me?"

I was too stunned to speak.

Afterall, this was the selfish man whore Billy Hargrove in front of me, admitting that.

"I won't say everything has been. . perfect, but," I looked at him ready to admit some feelings, "you've given me good memories since day one."

"Oh yeah the day I blackmailed you, that was a good memory?"

"Not all of that day of course. I mean you for sure scared the hell out of me that day. You were very intimidating, but not all of that day was bad."

He rolled his eyes and walked past me to sit on the couch on, he had previously thrown me onto. He lit up a cigarette and looked out onto the lake.

"I enjoyed going to the movies that day," I laughed in between my words, refusing to let the topic go, "and when you were on my last nerve you suggested we scream it out, and we just flew down that road afterwards with no care about how dangerous it was."

I quickly noticed him start to smile again.

"And dinner with you family wasn't all that bad."

He scoffed in a sort of half-laugh kind of way, "I can believe that other shit you were spewing out just now, but that dinner was fucking horrible."

"Maybe for you, though I don't really know how your side of things went," I said hoping he'd elaborate on it.

He huffed and took a long hit from his cigarette, "You ever even try to smoke a cigarette before?", he asked avoiding the conversation.

"I don't mean to pry Billy, just your dad seemed strange to me is all. I'm just curious if he's always like that or not."

"If you can smoke a whole cigarette with me I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed to yourself," he said. Even if the deal was a pretty good offer, he still was avoiding the conversation.

"Ok got it, you just expect me to tell you what's wrong when I start acting off, but your just allowed to avoid the question entirely?"

What I said, must have strung a nerve withing him. He put out his cigarette and within seconds he was standing up, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, and pinning me against the wall of the cabin.

The sudden impact with the wall left me breathless as I looked up to Billy's angry eyes.

"Is this what you want to know y/n?" he asked spitting in my face as he smoke

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", I asked trying not to focus on my now aching back.

"A lot of shit you don't even want to get me started on," he forcefully let me go and let out an aggressive scream as he began to walk off towards the lake.

"Billy where are you going?" I asked but got no response for.

I pursued him as he marched his way out towards the lake. A part of me felt bad for edging him on, but I was in the right about this. Even if it was a sore topic for him, he didn't have to be such a closed off dick about it.

He sat down at the lake's edge and I stopped to stand behind him.

"The way I held you against that wall," he said after a long awkward pause, "is the same way my dad held me when we walked outside. .all because I brought you into the house."

"I didn't kno-" he shushed me once again, and patted down next to him, signaling me to sit. "I just get so fucking angry living out here. This cow-shit smelling, hick of a town, pisses me off to a extent where you can't even begin to understand," he said as I plopped down next to him.

"Why don't you move back?"

"There's no where to move back to."

"You don't have family back there?"

"My mom," he said scoffing, "but she left me and my dad when I was just a kid."

I could tell his mom was a sore subject for him to talk about. He hung his head and fiddled with his hands as he spoke about her, even if it was just a quick mention.

I decided to get off the touchy subject, "I don't live with him everyday, but your dad is a fucking asshole."

He nodded his head, "Yeah, he is."

"Max told me he's hit you before, which I don't agree with of course. It's really fucked up."

"Yeah well she and her mom are real pieces of shitty work too."

"You don't mean that."

"Yeah I do, and you wanna know why? If it wasn't for them I'd still be in California and my dad wouldn't be as much of a fucking prick asshole," he picked up a nearby stone and threw it as hard as could, to send it skipping across the lake's surface, "He wants me to be happy or some shit that they are in my life, and he wants me to act like their my family, but they aren't. It's not my fucking job to be responsible for Max either, when she's thirteen years old and isn't even my real fucking sister."

"She's still the closest thing you have to a sister."

"Yeah well step-sibling isn't close enough.", he said looking away from me.

I sighed and leaned my head on Billy's shoulder, hoping it would calm him down. Even if it was slightly.

"Just because your dad is a piece of shit doesn't mean you have to be like him, you know? I prefer the real Billy more than the stuck up asshole version of you."

"Yeah and what's that real Billy like?" he asked, obviously still frustrated.

"The real Billy waits for me every day after school to take me home even though he knew I would refuse it."

He stayed silent but I decided to keep going anyways

"Or the Billy who surprises me with a weekend getaway," I said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, sure seemed to me like you hated that I brought you here," he said, sending another another stone skipping across the water.

"No actually, I think it's very sweet of you to plan this out for us. I just think it was pretty inconsiderate of you and how you went about it," I looked to him, "You did kind of go out of your way to lie to my dad about it and then blindfolded me on the way here, so I wouldn't be able to get back home."

"You really think if I asked, you would have came?"

I made sure he was looking back at me before I spoke, "Yeah Billy, I think I would have," I let out a small laugh, "Hell, then we could have thought of an excuse together for my dad."

He scoffed, "You can't be the same y/n I know. She would get a high horse from me telling her she's right," he finally smiled, but it was different than his usual. It wasn't fake, or didn't come from his ego, this smile was genuine.

"Oh, so now you're saying I was right?"

"Jesus, nevermind, your still who I thought you were."

I lightly swatted his arm in a playful manor, "Well as much as I'd love to tell you, I told you so, I'm glad you told me." I added, "At least I didn't have to slam on my brakes in the middle of a road to make you do so."

"That just proves I'm a lot less work than you."

I scoffed, "You keep dreaming Billy."

He stayed silent for a second before yanking me and himself up off the ground. Before I could react, he picked me up off my feet and carried me to the dock I had noticed before.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I yelled thrusting around in his grasp as he walked.

"Oh yeah admit you're the bigger fucking handful and I'll let you go."

"You're the one who probably spends more than half an hour fixing your hair up in the morning, and I'm the handful?!" I asked not being to help myself from laughing.

He started swinging me as if he were to throw me, but didn't fully commit. He was giving me a warning.

"Last chance, y/n!" he yelled out. I yelled out in a fearful scream, choosing that over responding to him. I grasped onto him for dear life.

"Suite yourself!" he said throwing me into the water. I tried my best to cling onto him, so at least he'd come down with me, but his strength was ten-times my own. It was nothing for him to pry me off before throwing me out.

The water hit me like icy stakes piercing my body. It's much colder in the fall compared to the summer, so I doubt the water could be anything over than sixty-five degrees.

I popped my head out of the water just in time to catch Billy throwing his shirt onto the dock, before jumping in right after me.

I got yet another round of icy cold water to the face.

Seconds later, he too sprang his head up from the surface. He immediately started to shake the water from his hair like a wet dog, and screamed out a loud 'whoo', that echoed across the vast, open lake.

Both of us were laughing as he swam over to me and my shivering body. He scooped me up and wrapped my legs around him so he could hold me.

I blushed. This was the first time he had tenderly held me, since the first day we got into this whole mess.

He came in for a kiss, interrupting my giggles.

"Hmph!", I instinctively let out as his lips came crashing onto mine.

He was hungry. Last time we kissed was a month ago when he kissed me by sheer force. With the way I was kissing back now, I'm sure even he could tell that I wanted it. I wanted it bad.

His hands explored my back as I held onto him myself with my legs. The journeyed across my shirt until they found a resting spot near my lower back.

I broke away first, and for once he actually let me. This was better than I remembered, it was good. Really good.

No matter how great it made me feel, it still didn't change the fact that the water was freezing cold and I was shivering in his arms.

I stuttered from how cold I was, "Can- Can we please go- go back onto the shore?"

He shook his head, denying my request, "Admit it."

"Billy!" I threw my head back in annoyance that he was still even on the same subject that got us into the water in the first place.

"It's your fault if we catch a cold from being out here for too long, so you better hurry it up and just admit it."

I huffed, "Ok for fucks sake Billy," I gave him a mean looked before I continued, "I can be a handful sometimes, just like everyone else, so can we please just get out of this water."

His egoist smile returned, "First one out gets to sleep in the bed," he said suddenly dropping my weight back into the water. I almost went back under, but I was half expecting him to let me go either way.

"You cheating prick!" I yelled out, but he just laughed.

Not only did he beat me to the shore, but he beat me back to the cabin to. It was quite a sight to see him in such a hurry to grab his previously striped clothes off the dock, before running back up to towards the cabin.

It made me smile how Billy reminds me of a happy toddler, who just is over themselves with excitement, when he is having fun.

I finally drug myself back up to the cabin, walking into it for the first time, soaking wet.

"Hey don't move, you're still soaked!" he yelled out from across the small cabin.

"And you aren't?" I yelled back.

I didn't receive a response till he trotted his way back over to me with folded towels wrapped up in his arms, for us to dry off with.

"What just happened out there proves I can be quick about pretty much anything," he said gloating.

"I'm sure you're right. You really are quick about everything." I said with a wink.

He scoffed, "I'm sure you'd like to know. Wouldn't you sweetheart?" he said wrapping a towel around me.

"Maybe I would," , He paused for a half a second, not expecting that sort of response. "Maybe I wouldn't. You'll sure as shit never find out," I continued after a long pause.

"Well your stuck all alone with me all weekend, I wouldn't be so quick to say that."

"Oh yeah and boost your ego? I'd rather go drown in that lake out there."

He rolled his eyes.

Billy was obviously prepared for this trip, and it was certainly no last minute decision on his part. The entire kitchen was stocked for the weekend, and the sheets on the bed had been freshly washed.

Billy even bought me a couple outfits to wear for the weekend, knowing he would take me here by surprise, leaving me no time to prep.

"You do realize how this all seems suspicious to me right?" I said finally snuggling in on the couch after drying off and changing into a silky pajama set he had bought for me.

"How so?", he said coming to sit next to me after turning on the TV across from us.

"You replaced all my clothes, I have no idea where I am, you've had this planned out for a few days at least, and there's a lake about thirty feet from this cabin for easy disposal."

"What am I? Ted Bundy?", he asked, reading my thoughts.

"You could be. I mean you totally check off all the boxes to be a serial killer." I said smirking.

"Well you're the one who said you'd rather drown than sleep with me so if your dead body ends up in the lake that's by your own doing."

I rolled my eyes, "Even if you kidnapped me into bringing me here, I still am glad to spend the weekend somewhere outside of my bedroom," I said tempted to lay my head on his shoulder.

"Is this a thank you I hear?" he said. This was pure fuel for his ego.

"Yeah, it is. Thank you."

"Guess I'll have to kidnap you more often then." he said scooting closer to me.

He and I both let out a little laugh at the wording, and I finally gave in and laid my head on his shoulder as we both looked at the TV.

All I remembered was closing my eyes for a second, but before I could stop it, I was asleep on his shoulder.

When I opened my eyes again, everything was completely dark except for the TV that illuminated us on the couch and the surrounding area.

I blinked a few times before realizing I was still on the couch, I went to stand, but there was an arm around me, that wrapped tighter when I moved.

Billy.

I froze, realizing I had carelessly fallen asleep in the arms of Billy. He groaned from my previous motion, and snuggled me tighter, as to keep me fleshed up against him.

My face was on fire, and as much as I'd like to stay here snuggling. Now that I was up, I had to piss so bad I was going to explode if didn't.

I tried my best to get out of his grasp, but he instinctively held on like how a child holds onto their favorite teddy bear.

"Billy. I need to get up," I said softly while nudging him arm.

He groaned and when I looked back at him, he was shaking his head no.

'Goddamn how is that even when he's asleep, he's still a selfish bastard.' I thought to myself.

I grabbed one of the couch pillows that fell onto the floor and held it to my chest. With my free, I began to lift Billy's arm up from my side.

When I finally had it up enough for me to get through, I quickly got up and replaced myself with the pillow.

When I got back, the lamps had been turned on, and Billy looked to me while standing before an open fridge.

"You know you woke me up the second you started moving me around yeah?" he said half asleep still.

"I had to piss and you wouldn't let me up. What was I supposed to do?," I answered. He didn't respond, only to pull out some cookies from the fridge.

"You keep cookies in the fridge?"

"They taste better cold," he said ripping apart the packaging.

I lifted myself to sit on top of the counter, next to him. I dipped my hand down to steal a cookie, so I could test his opinion out for myself. We both munched in silence as I formed my own opinion.

"Nope, tastes exactly the same," I said.

"That's cause your opinion is shit," he said still with a mouth full of cookie.

"Ha, no. Your opinion is shit, have you seen the type of women you've slept with?" I asked jokingly.

"What's that say about you then?"

"Well I haven't slept with you."

"Not yet, but your curiosity will get the better of you soon enough," he said smiling

I ruffled his bed head, "You wish."

He stood in front of me, trapping me in his arms as he placed them on the counter space on both sides of me, "What's stopping you?"

I laughed, "You're joking right?"

"Afraid not babe."

I rolled my eyes, "You do realize that the only reason you know I even exist is because I turned you down after you tried to get in my pants at some stupid party? You got all handsy with me then too."

"I touched your waist, big deal."

"That's besides the point! The point is, Billy, is that if I sleep with you, you win," I huffed.

He smirked as he leaned in closer to my face, "So that means you want to, but just won't let yourself? All because, what? I'll win?"

I blushed, "Wha? No. Did you not hear me at all?"

He forced me to look at him in the eyes by tugging at my chin, "I heard you, but I can also tell that your lying."

"I'm not lying Billy." I said with butterflies in my stomach.

"C'mon cut the shit y/n.", he said with his typical devilish grin.

If my blush wasn't noticeable before, it for sure was now.

He leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "You didn't think I'd notice how you cling onto me when I touch you, did you sweetheart?"

He ran his hand up my thigh stopping just before the edge of the silky sleep shorts he bought for me. He gave my thigh a good squeeze occasionally as he explored the surface.

It was true that his touch always sent thrills all through me, but that doesn't change how I feel on the inside. This only started, because all I was to him was another plus one to his body count.

"The only reason we talk now, is because we're friends. I know that you only wanted me for sex though when this all started, I'm not stupid." I said in a somewhat of a pouting tone, "Why would I sleep with you?"

He paused and let my chin go, "At the party, yeah, I did just want you, you looked fucking amazing," he got a sincere look on his face, "I also told you the next day how you intrigued me. You stood up to me, and I liked that a lot."

"Just because you tell me that I sexually intrigue you doesn't change anything about this, Billy."

"You got my respect then, y/n," he said, "I think your fucking sexy of course, but I liked the way you carried yourself that night. It's way different than any other bitch I've met here."

Had my whole problem really turn out to be a complete misunderstanding?

"How am I supposed to know you were being sincere then? You forced me to kiss you and coerced me into being your fake girlfriend. That's a lot of mixed signals don't you think?"

He hung his head and smiled, "y/n, I'm good enough to get anyone I want.", he said proudly admitting his ego, "but even after you ignored me, everyday, I stayed. Your the only one here in this hick town to ever earn my respect."

I felt my breath crawling its way out of my body with every word he spoke. This was not the Billy I came to know at first. This was the Billy who could finally let his guard down around me.

Though his attitude was awful and his ego was still raging, I finally could see him as a loving partner.

"Just forget it," he said backing off.

"Billy," I said grabbing his hand on my thigh before it could fully leave.

"Did you only threaten me into pretending as your girlfriend, just so you could . . . get to know me?"

"That sounds pretty fucked when you word it like that y/n."

"Yeah well that's what happened you dick, don't avoid the question."

He laughed in a nervous kind of way, "You intrigue me in all ways sweetheart, so yeah, don't get a big fucking head about it."

I was red all over.

I laughed at how he could say something so sweet, but still act like a dick at the same time. It was just the way he was, and it's what I fell for in him.

I pulled his hand to rest up on my waist before I gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"I guess you've got my interest too," I said softly, "It's not every day a guy admits he enjoys his time around me."

"Told you I was nice."

"Well, at least now you are."

I looked into his eyes, realizing he was coming in for another kiss. I snickered as I turned my head away, making him kiss my cheek instead. "I didn't give you permission for that," I said.

"Good thing I don't need it," he said as he picked me up off the counter.

"Hey! What the hell Billy?"

"I'll just take what I want, if you won't give it too me, babe," He held me with one hand so he could give a nice tap to my ass, "I'll get you begging for it, in no time."

We got into the bedroom and he didn't even bother flipping on the lights. There was still plenty enough shining in from the living room.

He threw me on the bed before pinning me down with his hands, ramming his lips into mine instantly. I tried to push against him, but it only made him force me down even harder.

Unlike last time I was pinned to a bed by Billy, I was kissing back. I couldn't resist this any longer, but the realization of that only made me angrier to be proving him right. My anger fueled the kiss even more, only adding more steam to the fire happening around us.

He freed up one of his hands to aggressively explore my body. He let his hand travel across my torso letting it rest on my ribcage for a moment. It didn't take him long to discover there was nothing being worn underneath the shirt.

"Well what do we have here?" he said breaking away from the kiss.

I blushed and turned my head away, I was in so much shock I could barely speak, "Mine- It was- The lake- It got wet." I fumbled with my words, but it still got the message across. He laughed, menacingly, before slamming his lip back onto mine.

He started exploring the new discovery, but held himself back from going over the top. He was toying with me. Teasing me.

I put my newly free hand on his cheek so I would have a deeper grasp on the kiss. I tried to move from his cheek down to his chest, so I could do my own exploring, but at the touch of his collarbone he stopped, breaking our kiss.

I hated the feeling of the cold air on my lips when he moved away, but I hated it even more that I was actually pouting about it.

"Beg me," he said

I shook my head no out of stubbornness, so he gave my thigh a good hard love tap. I let out a whimper due to the sheer unexpected force that came to me.

"Say it y/n."

"I can't- I can't." I said hiding my face with my free hand.

"Why not sweetheart?" he whispered. I stayed silent and simply held onto his wrist that pinned down my other hand.

I couldn't think straight due to all the emotions I was feeling. I was nervous, excited, and my whole body burned with lust.

I was to embarrassed to speak, but I couldn't deny the fact that I liked what was happening between us. I wondered frequently how he would be in bed, since he was always the one to bring it up. In all that time I thought about this, I never expected that I would be left so speechless.

Even in the dim light, I caught a glimpse of his cocky smile, before he flipped me over onto my stomach.

I attempted to lift my face from the bed, but he shoved it back down into the fluffy comforter with his hand.

"If you aren't going to use your mouth to talk then you don't need it at all," he said after giving me another spank to my ass. The sound echoed off the walls, luckily covering the squeal I made. "I'll just let the rest of you speak for itself."

With no struggle from my part, he lifted my shirt, exposing my whole back to him.

I tightly grasped onto the blankets as he kissed down my back, but it wasn't long till his lips got bored and he made his way further down to my shorts.

After removing those pretty quickly, he started to take off his own clothes.

"Wait- Wait, Billy," I said lifting myself weakly from the bed.

If it wasn't the sight of his bare upper body that made me blush, it was for sure going to be what I had to say, "I'm- I-"

He flipped me around the rest of the way, back onto my back. He leaned over me, letting a hand rest on my face while using the other to balance himself. "You know you talked all that shit, but you can't even speak right now. Slow down so I can understand you."

I took a deep breathe and looked at him, "I'm not on any pill," I managed out.

He laughed, "That's what your worried about right now?"

"I think it's a perfectly good thing to be worried about right now, so yes," I quickly blurted out.

"This isn't my first time you know, now I can't say the same for you, but-"

"This isn't my first time either, thank you," I interrupted.

He raised a brow, "Oh really? With how nervous you are, and how defiant you've been. I figured it was."

"No, I- This isn't new for me. Just how you are is new for me." I said speaking more quietly as I went on.

"You mean somebody with experience is new to you?" he laughed.

"I guess," I looked away, "Your very handsy."

"How could I not be? You've been keeping me waiting," I gave him a pouty stare in return.

"Careful for now, pill for next time. Ok?," he continued.

I nodded my head in agreement. I trusted him, and he's right, he does have way more experience than I have. If he says that he'll be careful, I trust him.

"Now where were we?" he said while scaling his eyes down my now exposed body.

After plenty of fore-play on both sides, he had me close to him and finally put himself into position on top of me. The embarrassment I felt from the noises I made when he started, could single handedly put me in my grave.

He completely blurred my mind after putting me through multiple rough and intense rounds.

He always kept things interesting, never letting me take it for too long in a certain position. Whether I was pressed into the bed or thrown into his lap, no matter how he was ramming into me, I held him tight.

I've never felt such an intense emotion before and quite frankly, I was addicted. I wouldn't complain when he would hastily go back in for more, even if it left me with no time to rest.

I very much so regret calling him quick at 'everything'.

He would edge me for what felt like an eternity before he would allow me to spill. He always made me wait for him, no matter how good I was feeling. I shamefully admitted how wrong I was for calling him quick, earning myself a even quicker pace at which we were going.

After hours of endless pleasure, he decided enough was enough, after seeing how utterly worn out I was. It was still dark outside, but I knew the sun would be coming up soon. I needed rest.

He pulled me in close before laying beside me on the bed. Stroking my head as I thought to myself.

Even when he wasn't ramming himself inside me, he could be so vicious and forceful, but I learned there was a reason to his extremely rude demeanor. He was only so snappy so he wouldn't ever have to confront his feelings head on.

He tries to pretend he doesn't care about anyone, but really he just wants no one to view him as weak. He was conditioned to think that way.

"How about instead of screaming matches in my car, we just do this to let out some anger," he said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Then we'd be at this all the time," I responded rolling my eyes.

"I can shut you up again if you keep up with that attitude."

I cuddled into his chest, saying nothing in response.

"Yeah that's about what I thought," he said wrapping his arms around me.

"I thought you liked it when I stood up you," I questioned.

"Yeah, but I like it when you suck it up and just be mine as well."

"Pretend yours? Or actually yours?" I asked quietly.

He snickered, probably about how shy I was at the moment, compared to usual, "Actually mine."

"I think I'd like that too."

We both had our problems, and Billy's family life was going to for sure be a problem later, but right now I could be happy. Right now I trusted Billy.

Even though his scary and unpredictable behavior would always leave me feeling uncertain, but he's now showed me multiple times that he can normally handle things, even if its still in his own snarky matter. He showed me that I didn't have to ask him to change, that he would just do it on his own for my sake.

The weekend flew by after a days full of more intense times in bed, cooking meals together, talking about where'd we like to get jobs at for the upcoming summer, and working out with one another. He went out of his way to create a personal routine for me, so I wouldn't feel left out. I didn't expect to feel sad when it was time to head home, but I was.

It felt like Billy and I were already living our life together.

We completed our final task of packing all the leftover food into the trunk of his car, and now it was time to leave. I wistfully watched the cabin disappear from view as we drove away and began our journey of heading back to civilization.

When this started between us in the theater of Hawkins High, I was not in love with Billy Hargrove. In fact I thought he was a total dickhead. I'm not wrong though, he totally was.

Despite it, he made me feel alive. I had to tell myself, I can't fall in love with Billy Hargrove.

I laid awake at night, in my own bed, hoping I wasn't going to fall, because why would any person fall for such a self centered man.

What we had was beyond my control. I would yell out screams of frustrations till I would wake up the next day, unable to speak. I wanted to control my feelings, and I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't.

Even though I wanted to hate him, I always knew we were much more than just pretend. I knew I would inevitably fall, so once I embraced it, everything changed.

He opened himself up and I was able to see the true Billy. He was unpredictable and inconsiderate at times, sure, but he always cared for me in his own bitchy way.

He went out of his way to check up on me even if it was in a snarky tone. It was just who Billy was, and I finally understood that. I finally felt like I would be safe to care for him as well.

I can't believe I'd ever actually admit it, but I fell in love with Billy fucking Hargrove. It was clear that I was his, and he was mine.

No matter what we would have to go through, we would be each other's future.

[harleenfleck]

“Despite the danger (Part 2)���

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader

Summary: Joker is the love of your life; despite the reputation it carries. You know that, but you don’t care, after he rescued you from a horrible hole you were trapped in. Now, you both live your lives together, but you ignore all the risks that come with being the lover of the Clown Prince of Crime.

This is the continuation. Part one here (Idk how put links in tumblr AAAAAA)

Warning: Description of violence, smut (Oh yeah), unprotected sex, oral sex, and fluff cause why not.

Words: 3.2k

Notes: OMFG I’M SO SORRY I KNOW I KNOOOW It took me about a month to post the second part, you have no idea what happened to me in all these weeks! New job, a little move, trying to survive, creative block (I’m suffering with this one), I almost itchy a scorpion, I didn't have Internet for two weeks, for a moment I thought I was in contact with someone with COVID-19 and fortunately that someone was sick from something else (Pneumonia in case you had doubts), I started to be attracted to a guy who turned out to be a criminal (HAHA later I'll tell you how this shit was over) anyway, too many weird things happened to me.

Finally I can post the second part, and the truth is that it is the first time I write smut or something in English :'0 honestly I think it was sexy, but I still feel a little ashamed (that’s the correct word?) to post it, ahhh, it's weird the feeling. But wow, I think the thing was beautiful:3 I honestly hope I can beat the creative block and keep writing more stories like that, shit, anyway, Arthur it’s my beautiful muse.

Time for thanks! Thank you to the Microsoft translator for helping me translate things I don't know into English, thank you to Lana del Rey for helping me get out of the creative block with your songs, my two neurons for not giving up and doing synapses, and thank you for your patience <3

And fuuuuckinggg agaaaain the fucking same apology, I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, english is not my native language blablablablablalaaablablablaba just enjoy the porn.

Hope you like it! <3

...

 He’s out of his mind.

He was yelling at his men to do the damn job, to search the whole damn city. His beauty doll is missing

You were missing, you weren’t by his side, and that was a tragedy.

He was going crazy, and how cannot be? His enemies don’t leave no clue, just the threatening note. He read it, trying to find something, some sign. But nothing.

“In every fucking corner! In every fucking street! In every fucking neighborhood! I don’t fucking care! You have to find her!”

He yelled at his men in clown masks, they were orders that were to be fulfilled. But everything was more complicated than it seemed.

“We've searched all over Gotham and there's no sign of her”

“Keep looking!” He screamed again.

The clowns have never seen their leader so tense and stressed. It wasn't for nothing. His darling was kidnapped by something he had done, and time ran. Anything could happen to you with every hour wasted in found you.

"Mr. Joker, we've searched everywhere, but there's no way to find her, do you really think it's worth it?"

“What? What do you mean by that? What are you implying about that?”

“I mean Mr. Joker, you found her in a disgraceful place... You could do that with any other slut, you can find another-”

Bang!

Before he could keep opening his mouth, that man was already dead.

"I don't have time for this stupid shit! You must don’t give a shit about my doll's past! You must do your fucking damn job!"

The rest of the clowns, seeing the violent scene, came out of the room. Joker ordered two of his men to undo the body.

Sitting on an elegant red couch, he took a hand to his face and breathe out heavily.

Where were you? Would you be ok? You’d be safe?

Every question stressed him. And he felt guilty leaving you alone, he shouldn’t have done that.

Knowing that sometimes his clowns could become useless, he got out of his seat and walked outside of the room. "If they don't find you, I'll do it myself”

He got into the car and went to Gotham.

“My y/n, where are you?”

…

Your hands behind you back were tied. Your feet too.

Could barely remember what happened to you. Hours before, you were reading a book in complete calmness, but someone broke in the house. You screamed and ran for the emergency gun, but the assailants caught you first and put a damp fabric in your face.

You slept soundly for a couple of hours, when you woke up with a blindfold. Immediately, you went into fear.

“Look! The bitch woke up”

Your eyes saw again, they took you the bandage off. Looked at some men you didn’t know who they were.

“Just look, the little whore of Joker” One of the kidnappers took you by the jaw “Are the rumors true? The Joker pulled you out of a brothel after you fuck him so good?”

A big spit came into the kidnapper's eye. You pointed very well at his face.

“Fuck you!” Was the only thing you yell to him “That's something you don't give a shit!”

The others men laugh a lot, making fun of your little defense. The affected person rubbed himself with a tissue and you realized spitting him was a big mistake.

Scared, you looked everywhere, you had to find a way out, you knew that if you stayed there, they could kill you, but there is no escape.

“What idiot would want a whore like his couple?” The kidnapper spoke as he approached you and lifted you from the ground "Although if it's true that you were a prostitute... We could take advantage of that…”

They looked at you with malevolence, you knew your Joker had done terrible things to them, and they revenge were going to drop it on you.

“No, no, no! Don't you dare! If you do, you'll be dead men!”

“Maybe, but the first one to die will be you”

They pulled out a knife right in front of you, played with this one, gently passing it down your chest and face.

They started ripping the fabric of your dress. You cried. They laughed.

Please Arthur come, come for me, please Arthur

“We are three, you're going to have to give each of us pleasure at the same time, you know what that means? Anyway, you're already experienced in that”

They took your dress in pieces, staying only in your underwear, they began grotesquely touch your body and make fun of you. You just implored that it wasn't painful and that your death wasn't so violent.

Although that was improbable.

You closed your eyes, accepting your unfortunate destiny.

A violent noise was heard, and one of the men fell to the ground.

"Leave her alone right now!"

Hearing that scream you felt in heaven, protected. You were safe. Joker was there, pointing the bastards who wanted to hurt you with his gun.

“Oh! Look who's here! Just when we were going to have our banquet, don't you want some?”

Another one fell to the ground. You tried to escape the only one left alive, but he catched you, putting the knife around your neck.

“Let her go of or you're going to regret it!” Joker screamed in a tone of voice you'd never heard before. He was heard so rude and furious, and at once determined.

“Let her go? You ruined what my men and I built for years; I'll take away what you cherish most in front you. And you can’t do anything to avoid it”

Joker's blood boiled with angry. How did he dare to hurt you?

"I won't warn you again, let her go right now, NOW!"

The guy, just for enjoying Joker's furious, put the knife down and cut your abdomen, you cried in pain. Joker went crazy, and when the knife stopped touching your skin, bullets were raining at your kidnapper.

You ran away, tripped and fell, but you could see Joker unloading the bullets on his enemy.

No enemy was left alive. You were free. But you were so scared too.

Joker looked at you, put away his gun and ran to you.

"Arthur!" You hugged him very tightly.

"y/n are you okay? He cut you, that motherfucker, I must to take you to the doc—"

"No! Please Arthur, take me home! Take me with you!"

"But y/n, you’re hurt—"

"It's nothing! I swear, just take me with you!"

Crying, you begged him to get you out of there. Joker took off his red coat and put it on you, covering you. He hugged you and both got out of there.

…

You two came home. He carried you in his arms and you hugged his chest. He left you in the bed while you still crying.

"I won't let you get hurt again, my doll" Arthur drew his fingers to your face, drying away your tears. He hurt him see you crying.

"Arthur, I thought I'd never see you again”

"No, y/n, I'm here, I'll always be here. No one will hurt you again"

You hugged him a lot, you didn't want to let him go. Despite the facade of the worst criminal of all and Gotham's worst lunatic, he saved and protected you.

Arthur left the room for a moment and came back with a medicine cabinet. He healed your wound while you were trying to relax, but that was almost impossible. Once you bandaged, Arthur lay down next to you, and you couldn't help hug him. He did the same thing, caressing your hair and smelling your scent, like the first time he and you met.

You and him slept soundly. You were so afraid you wouldn't sleep in that bed again. However, your night wasn't quiet, you dreamed of those three horrible men again, you dreamed that those men did what they wanted with you, and Arthur never appeared.

You woke up upset, in tears again.

But at the same time, you calmed down, because you were home. Arthur woke up with your crying, he immediately paid attention to you.

"What's going on? y/n, what happened?"

"A nightmare"

He took you carefully and kissed you on the forehead. You hugged him back, you clung to him, you never wanted to leave him in your life.

He really is the love of your life.

And you wanted to thank him for being.

"Arthur..."

"Yes?"

You took air, you never thought you’d be shy to ask Arthur that, even when you did this night after night.

“Could you love me, please?"

The eyes of Arthur lit up, and a big sense of desire ran through his body. But despite that, you were always above everything.

"y/n… But you’re hurt"

"Art… I’m fine, it was something superficial, it's nothing” And that was true, but on his face could you see he wasn’t so convinced “Please Arthur, I need your love”

He looked at you with concern, with silent, perhaps he feared to hurt you.

But at the same time, he looked at you with desire, in need and lust.

Arthur needed you very badly too, but he was afraid to revive your pain. However, you started kissing him, at first shyly, because you didn't know what his reaction would be.

But you knew him perfectly, you knew that with a simple touch of yours he could go crazy. He gently took you from the back of your head and quickly got on top of you. His hands started stroking your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers started playing with the straps of your bra and at the same time left little kisses on your breasts.

Fear left your body, and desperately asked for Arthur.

Arthur took your bra off and threw it somewhere in the room. Hypnotized, he admired your body. You blushed, he always saw you as a deity, even though you two made love a thousand times before.

"You're the most fucking beautiful woman I've ever met"

He bit his lip when he saw you. You, on the other hand, put the shyness aside, your hands went to the buttons on his yellow vest, unbuttoning them. Arthur noticed your intentions and helped you with that. You did the same thing with his turquoise shirt, looking now his chest.

You exhaled. You kissed him deeply, his tongue entered your mouth, and you couldn't help pass your hands through his chest and abdomen.

Without warning, you started to kiss his neck and shoulders, he didn’t wait that, but with a smile, he let you continue. You kept kissing him, went down to his red pants. His lust trapped in that red pants was already evident.

With little kiss on the fabric of his pants, you unbuttoned and zipped down. You looked him before continue. Arthur looked at you in need, desire and a huge smile on his clown face.

You backed off his pants and his underwear, his length appeared on your face and something inside you burned. You took it with your hand and let a little kiss in the top.

With more desire, you pass your tongue, sucking it, you really enjoyed that moment, more when you put it in your mouth and heard his deep moan.

"Damn it, y/n!" Arthur almost cried out loud. He was wet in lust, he looked at you with his green eyes, saw as you gave him pleasure, as you loved making him feel good. He took your hair, started directing the movements.

You relaxed your throat, took some air and got on with your work. You used your tongue to drive him crazy, and hearing his moans caused you to get wet. “Fuck! y/n you… you’re amazing…”.

You viewed that he grabbed the sheets with his free hand, his head was back and his chest became large and small as he breathed deeply. You could think he was close to finishing. But he decided to change things.

He took your hair and forced you to apart himself, you looked at him a little confused, but his gaze said he was going to back to you everything you caused him. Taking your shoulders, he dropped you in bed. He quickly got between your legs, starting to play with the elastic of your lace panties.

He dropped your panties, stared hungry at what these were hiding. And he realized you were already wet.

"Art... Do-Don't be so rude, please" You pled him timidly. Arthur blinked, setting aside his desire, remembering what you had spent the last night. He looked at your reddened face, and felt slightly guilty. He didn't tell you, but he thought maybe he scared you.

"Of course not, my doll" slowly lowered his face until you reached your entrance "If you want to stop, I will, just say it y/n" kissed one of your thighs, and seeing you, started playing with his tongue inside you.

Now, it was your turn to yell.

“Oh fuck!” You remember why Arthur loved that game. He was very skillful. He kissed you, licked you, played really well down there. You took his green hair between your fingers, begging him to go deeper. You heard a little laugh.

“I want you Arthur…” You couldn't take it anymore, you started begging him, as tears of pleasure fell down your cheeks “Please Art, I want you, make me yours…”

He didn't listen to you, he just kept licking you, and you couldn't do it anymore. You cuming in his mouth, and he drank you all.

Bastard you thought You wouldn't let me do the same with you

As you recovered from the orgasm, he stands up, his makeup was already a mess, but that's what you loved, as you could see Arthur and Joker at the same time.

“Come here, boy” You extended your hand to him. He took it and placed himself on top of you "I really want you for me”

“You just want me?”

“Why the question?”

"You seem to need me" Arthur kiss your hand, as you felt the rub of its length in your entrance, he was torturing you.

“Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He passing his tongue in your hand and finished with a kiss.

“I-I need you…”

“Yes darling?” He saw you again with those emeralds that drove you crazy. How much you love him, and how much he loves you "Did you know I always need you, y/n?" With that deeply voice, he began to play again, giving small blows with his tip, causing you to moan.

“Y-Yeah…” Your voice became trembling at the end of that word “Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He repeated that question again while without warning, he passed his tongue through your breast, provoking you more and more.

“…Fuck me…” You didn't ask him, you pleaded him. He laughed a little, and kissed you on your lips, looking for your tongue with his. And as your tongues fluttered in your mouths, he entered in you.

You moaned in his mouth, that strange sense of pain and pleasure was so addictive to you. He moved inside you, going out and in. You could hear him moan, and that excited you more, hearing his voice full of pleasure.

With more desire, you hugged him, moaned and cried. You didn't want anyone else in your life. You only want Arthur, just him.

It was so much pleasure and delight that you even forgot the wound on your abdomen.

You raised your hips just to join him more. Arthur kissed your neck, while he too got lost in lust. The bed hit the wall hard, it could break at any time, and you wouldn't mind. You two couldn't separate, nothing could separate.

You didn't know how much time was going on, but every time Arthur made love to you, time seemed to stop alone for the two of you.

“Arthur…” You cried his name “I love you… I love you”.

“I love you, y/n” you heard his hoarse voice against your ear again. He raised his head, only to see you adore this intimate moment “I love you too”

You kissed him, so much passion overflowing. You felt close again.

Before you could tell him, your body couldn't keep it anymore and gave into the pleasure, you screamed so loud. Arthur began to penetrate you slowly and deep at the same time, prolonging your orgasm, making it more torturous and pleasurable.

Breathing deeply, you looked at Arthur, taking his cheek with your hand, you still felt weak, and loved too.

He came out of you, and he started masturbating in front of you. "Could you help me, doll?" Oh yes, you knew that meant.

You knelt in front of him, took his member and carried him into your mouth. He tried to suppress a groan but failed. A few seconds later he made you stop, and you'll look him in the eye from where you were.

"You want it, don't you, doll?" you didn't answer, you just moved your head up and bit your lip. Like the first time you saw him. You began to masturbate him and kiss his member.

He caressed your head, closed his eyes. If that wasn't heaven, he didn't know anything else it could be.

His body tightened, and his breathing became heavy “y/n, I’m gonna coming, come here”.

You stopped, opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue. With a little scream from him, you got his climax in your mouth. Every drop fell into your mouth, and some escaped through the corners of your lips. He tasted so good; you loved his taste.

Arthur took a deep breath, his eyes were still under in his eyelids, recovering. He lowered his head and opened his eyes, watching you. You gave him a naughty smile. He caressed your cheek, and stroked you with his thumb.

"Where have you been all my life?" For a moment he thought about it, but he really said it. And you blush at those words. The naughty smile was replaced by a shy smile.

"Lost, like you, my love"

Smiling at you, he went to kiss you one more, one more loving, more romantic. “Arthur Fleck, you really are the love of my life” You said to him in the middle of the kiss. You could feel it how he trembled at your words. He separated from you and looked you in the eye.

“You too, y/n, you’re the love of my life”.

He kissed your cheek and pulled aside some locks of hair that fell on your face. "Come here" Took your hand "Look at you, you're a mess, we're going to have to clean you up"

You knew that was just the beginning, it was going to be a long day.

But you didn't care because you loved him, you loved Arthur Fleck, and Joker too, despite the danger. You didn't really care about danger, Arthur would always protect you from adversity, and somehow, you also protected him.

End

[crazycrackersworld]

So I've been back here in Arizona for about a month now had a lot of time to process things I'm going to try to start putting stuff up here again and just getting things out of my head.

So the first one of course I guess Sue. I still don't quite understand her mode of thinking and I don't think I ever will. When we first started seeing each other she talked about all these things that she always wanted someone to do for her or do to her you know and I listened and I tried to do all of those things and ultimately maybe it's not what she wanted?

I don't understand the hold that this Mark guy has over her how he's basically treated her like nothing but a fuck buddy for over a year and now all of a sudden they have a talk and she gives him an ultimatum and you know she decides he's her future I just don't understand how she's okay with the way he's treated her but there's nothing I can do about it so it doesn't matter if I understand it or not.

One of the last voicemails she left me said that a part of her will always love me. And I just don't believe it cuz I don't think she ever did love me I honestly believe in my heart that I was pretty much just someone she was with while she waited for his girlfriend to die of cancer. And hey you know maybe the two of them waiting for her to die of cancer before they hooked up maybe that's classy, maybe I'm wrong to think that it makes both of them horrible human beings.

I mean I have her blocked on everything the only way she can reach me is by leaving me a voicemail I guess if she sent me a letter or postcard but she ain't going to take time out of her day to do that. She's not going to love me forever she doesn't love me now when she told me she loved me 2 months ago she was lying when she had me fly back in February it was just to make him jealous I'm fully convinced of all of that.

I know many secrets dark secrets about her and I'll take them to my grave because it doesn't pay for me to throw that dirty laundry out there and you know there's enough people in the part of the world that she lives and it really don't have any respect for her and don't like her and I don't need to add to that list.

I'm doing my best to move on doing my best to move forward things have been good since I got back in Arizona trying to see where things with Jackie will go but I'm absolutely terrified of letting anybody in again. So things with anybody else will only go so far cuz I don't see myself fully trusting anybody completely again ever.

I do know that eventually I probably will move back to Wisconsin and when that day comes I mean I'd love to say that I'm going to move on completely over my feelings but I'm not I'm going to hit him in his face people can use these Tumblr posts as proof that it's premeditated I don't care I'm going to beat the shit out of him, and there's nothing he or anyone in his family or any of his friends or God Almighty can do to stop it. When I get my hands on him he's going to get hurt he's going to get hurt bad and he's going to get humiliated and I'll sleep fine that night. And she should probably just hope that my daughter never gets pissed off enough to go looking for her cuz that would probably be bad I myself want to punch her in her stupid redheaded face but I won't.

This is the longest I've gone in almost 5 years without having a conversation with her I'm not going to say it's been easy cuz it hasn't it's hard as s*** it's hard to think that somebody who wants told me that they were going to convince me to marry them could turn around and care so little about me that they just erase Me from their life but yet I'm supposed to think she ever had feelings for me.

So going to focus on my job this week I should be getting my third license I'm going to focus on spending time with this friend of mine and see where things go or maybe I'll meet somebody closer to here or I really have no clue I'm going to train for that 5K that I'm kind of run in January and I'm just going to try to move forward with my life. And I'm going to really try to start throwing my thoughts and my feelings and all of that back up here again and taking a month off and processing things really helped.

So just I guess stay tuned cuz I'm not done yet not by a long shot and for those of you who do read the crazy crap that comes out of my word hole thank you.