#first fic of the new year for my tumblr bff <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[z0mbiekisses]

I’m back with another request queen! Loved Video tape btw!! And it’s another Josh one bc all my requests rn are Tyler so I NEED some Josh fics. Here’s the request: reader is Tyler’s twin and hasn’t seen Tyler in months as she’s just moved back to Columbus after college. She attends a gig with her friends and sees Josh there. They get to talking and after weeks of them dating he introduces her to Tyler. Obviously they fight over this and Josh feels awful about causing tensions between the siblings. End it however u want!

hiii bff!!! i’m sooo happy you liked it 🙌🙌!! it means sooo much.

there is a shortage in josh fics.. gotta give bae some more attention 😽😽. this is such an interesting idea i was so excited to write this!!

i hope you & anyone else that reads this enjoys!!(: i love writing these & meeting new people this is the most active ive been on tumblr in YEARS lol. so thank you guys!!!!

COMING HOME !

coming home was definitely weird. i’ve been away at school for 3 years, and things are so different now. my friends were still back in virginia. my old friends from ohio all had moved on with their lives. hell, one of my good friends from highschool is married with a baby. the hardest part though, my family and i weren’t as close anymore. more specifically my twin brother, tyler. sure, i saw him during the holidays or the random times i came home. but he was occupied with his own life. starting a band, meeting his now fiancé jenna. we were so close growing up. time changes things, it was hard to be so close when we were so far away.

some of my old friends were attending this halloween party. i decided to tag along, meet some new people. see my friends again. i was dressed up as draculara from monster high, i had the wig and all. the party was fun at first, me and my friends all took cute silly pictures and danced around to whatever pop song was blasting on the speakers. we probably looked like goofballs, but it was so much fun. eventually, my friends & i parted ways. they all found different places at the party. leaving me awkwardly standing by the drink table. as i was about to leave a guy came up to me.

“why’d you copy my costume?”, the guy spoke. he was dressed up as a vampire. i could tell he was joking by the grin that grew on his face once he saw my shocked expression.

“i don’t know man.. you just inspired me.”, i laughed softly. the guy looked relieved i went on with the joke rather than cursing him out.

“it’s okay you look 10 times better than me.”, he chuckled slightly. i learned his name was josh. and who knew josh would change my life. we eventually left the party & ate at some random diner and talked forEVER. i learned he plays drums in a band, he really likes aliens and rock music. we had so much in common. and we continued talking for a few weeks. to which led to our relationship. josh was so amazing. he’d let me wear his t-shirts all the time, take me out on random fun adventures. if we weren’t sleeping over, he’d call me every night. and text in the morning. josh would even try to give me drum lessons. which would only end in us making out. josh was the most amazing guy on the planet.

however, josh would disagree with my opinion. to him, the best guy on the planet was his best friend, tyler. josh ADORED tyler. and from what josh told me, he seemed pretty cool. our schedules finally lined up, and josh was taking me to finally meet tyler for lunch. and he was ecstatic.

“i can’t believe my two favorite people are going to be in the same room!”, josh smiled, opening the car door for me to get out.

“you’re so cute.”, i gave him a quick hug. resting my head on his chest for a second. then we walked in the restaurant. it was a cute little place with rustic farm decor surrounding it. i was admiring the decor before josh spoke,

“tyler, this is my girlfriend y/n.”, my face dropped when i saw tyler. it was MY twin brother tyler. i know we weren’t identical twins but did josh never notice the similarities? we were both unsure how to approach the situation.

“uh.. do you guys know each other. is she like your ex or something?”, josh asked picking up on the tension.

“worse, she’s my sister.”, tyler finally spoke. i let out a breathy exhale. the mood instantly dropped. the whole table was quiet the rest of the afternoon. josh would try his best to make conversation. and i engaged, but tyler was silent. i had no idea why he was so tense. sure, it’s awkward. but i didn’t understand why he seemed so upset.

finally, we finished up but as we were walking out, tyler pulled me aside.

“are you seriously dating him y/n?”, tyler asked. the most he’s said all afternoon.

“yeah..?”, i said hesitantly, unsure what he was getting at. tyler scoffed and looked away before speaking again.

“you could’ve picked ANYONE ELSE Y/N.. instead you pick MY best friend.”

“it wasn’t intentional.”, i was shocked by tyler’s behavior. i didn’t expect him to react to everything like this.

“right yeah you didn’t know, because YOU can never do no wrong. perfect y/-“

“shut the hell up tyler!”, i shouted. i had enough of his behavior. this was all coming out of no where, and it was unjustified.

“you’re the one who had to take away MY best friend. i haven’t seen him in weeks thanks to you!”, tyler yelled right back. i chuckled dryly.

“you know, you can be such an asshole tyler. grow. up.”, and with that i walked back to the car, not even bothering to wait for josh to open up the door for me like he normally does. i was so frustrated, i didn’t understand why tyler was so mad about the situation. it was all emotionally draining. the ride back was silent, as josh pulled into my apartment complex he finally broke the silence.

“i’m really sorry y/n.”, josh said sincerely. i took a deep breath. it wasn’t josh’s fault for tyler’s actions. i was still angry, and a little upset josh never put two and two together.

“how did you not know josh?”, i snapped. it wasn’t intentional. but i was feeling so many different emotions right now, none of them good. as josh scrambled up an answer, i was already slamming the car door.

of course, the next day i was having dinner with my parents.. and tyler. josh texted me per usual. he felt really guilty about everything. i know it was never his intentions to hurt anyone. if anything, he was so happy for his two favorite people to see each other. he really was clueless. i was going to go over to his place.. right after i survive this dinner date. it was fine at first. my parents and i making small talk. tyler was quiet. only shooting daggers my way every so often. but those were easy to ignore.

“so what have you been up to this week?”, my mom asked cheerfully.

“yeah besides sleeping with my best friend.”, tyler chimed in. i rolled my eyes.

“i didn’t know my boyfriend was your best friend.”, i replied. before i could finish replying to our mom, tyler spoke up again.

“why couldn’t you date anyone else?”

“why do you care so much?”

“because you’re ruining things y/n!”, tyler raised his voice. which earned parental glares from both of our parents.

“maybe josh doesn’t like you as much as you think tyler!”, i yelled back. tyler’s face dropped. even i was surprised by what i said. i know that was a messed up thing to say. i guess it hurt more than i realized because tyler stormed up and out of the house. i didn’t even bother to listen to my parents lectures, i ran out of the house to apologize to tyler.

“tyler listen i-“

“break up with him.”, tyler cut me off.

“what?”, i exclaimed. now this was crazy.

“things have been so different since you guys got together.. and especially since now i know he’s dating MY sister. it makes things complicated.”, tyler looked at me. my eyes were filled with tears. josh was so amazing, he has such a good heart. and he treated me so well. i couldn’t imagine hurting him. but tyler was my brother. i didn’t want to let him down.

“i’m sorry y/n.”, i walked away and got in my car. this wasn’t fair. i didn’t understand why’d i have to sacrifice my boyfriend to get my brother back. none of this made sense. nonetheless, i drove to josh’s house. unsure on what i was going to say to him.

(p.s i don’t plan on making a part two, you can kind of use your imagination 😇 HOWEVERRR if you guys really want one, i will make one just lmk:3)

[magpiefngrl]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "magpiefngrl"?

Hey, anon!

Oh fave fics! I love talking about fics and books, though I feel I talk about fics everyone knows and have nothing new to offer, esp since I've not read much in the last 2-3 years. Still, narrowing it down to 10 is super hard, so I've looked at my bookmarks and chose the ten fics that I've reread the most.

1. Bound Skerry by Frayach (drarry, M, 2.3k)

I've read this a hundred times and I'll keep coming back to it. Possibly my most read fic. The reason it's one of my Forever Fics is the prose. Absolutely stunning writing.

2. House Proud by astolat (drarry, M, 23k)

The original House Magic fic and the best one. I particularly love the hints of dark faerie magic, the horror elements and the brilliant worldbuilding. Astolat's prose is super readable and the pacing is excellent.

3. with exactness grinds he all by thistle_verse (drarry, M, 6k)

An aching fic with beautiful, lyrical writing. I've reread this so many times.

4. Art in Life by northofallmusic (tofsla) (wangxian, T, 2k)

I feel I'm repeating myself but this has excellent prose and it's aching and tender and made me feel all the feels.

5. Out of the Dead Land by orphan account (stucky, M, 63k)

OK so this hasn't stood the test of time because I finished it a few days ago, but WOW. Absolutely brilliant. I'm not even a stucky fan or anything. But I kept thinking about it when I was doing other stuff and I set aside the books I was reading so as to finish this. Now it's days later and it's still on my mind. I can't remember the last time I had a book/fic hangover. A very angsty fic and a fantastic exploration of Bucky's trauma. This is by one of my top authors of all time, who's now orphaned everything.

6. Mr Webster's Wager by Fahye + orphan author (same one as above) (Ash/Webster, E, 27k)

Now we're getting into the horny fics. This one is based on a KJ Charles short story which is the best romance short story ever written in my not so humble opinion. This takes the original story and the horniness of that scene and expands it into many horny scenes. It's masterful, very very hot, and just a fantastic fic.

7. Unhook the Stars by jad (drarry, E, 70k)

One of the first drarry fics I read and one that made a huge impression on me. Super kinky, lots of sex scenes, I've reread this a LOT.

8. IDK My BFF Hermione? by lettered (drarry, E, 19k)

Extraordinary. Phenomenal. It will always have a place in my Top 10. Also, very filthy, which is a huge plus in my book.

9. a better happier st sebastian by halsinator (Jonathan Strange, E, 6k)

Another one I reread a million times. Stunning prose and vibes and beautiful yearning. I keep coming back to it.

10. live from new york by varnes (wangxian, E, 87k)

A masterpiece, a classic of wangxian, this is a Saturday Night Live AU, which is such a bizarre choice for an AU--and yet it works. I don't live in US, I have never watched SNL, but I adored the fic.

I've left out a ton of favourite works and authors I adore, but for more of my faves, my AO3 Bookmarks is the place to go.

I have to say, this exercise has been quite illuminating: I don't think I've ever had such a clear glimpse of what makes me tick. In short, sublime prose, an aching, yearning mood and/or filthy porn.

*****

As for my username, here's the story: I joined tumblr a gazillion years ago (way before I got into fandom) and my first blog (still exists: @magpie-x ) was mostly what you'd call an aesthetic blog. I'd reblog cool pics and quotes and occasionally post a personal post about my life. I named it magpie because it was a place where I collected everything shiny, like a magpie. I rarely used it after a while tbh. Years later I read The Raven Cycle and fell heads over heel with pynch and knew that the only place I'd find fans was tumblr. I got into the nascent TRC fandom and soon I needed a space exclusively for fannish posts. I created a sideblog called magpiefangirling and when I later got an AO3 account I shortened the name. Years later I got into drarry, I became very active on tumblr again, and the sideblog wasn't enough so I deleted it and created a brand new blog with my AO3 name.

In short, magpiefngrl, means magpie being a fangirl. It was a random decision but it has now shaped me and I think of myself as Magpie in fandom spaces, and even chose that as my pen name for my future original romance books.

[sariochu]

My Kyoka Jirou Headcanons*+

it has been 7 months ago since i first wrote my first tumblr fic and I’m finally back after a lot of school and that. I hope you enjoy my Kyoka Jirou Headcanon. (This is just my headcanon, if you don’t like it, please just scroll)

Let’s start! :)

My headcanon is that she is Wasian, being Japanese from her mom’s side and British from her dad’s side. This was the first ever headcanon I came up with her when I first saw her in mha

She absolutely LOVE Indie movies, it is her top favorite movie genre.

She is surprisingly good at English due to her dad learning her from a young age

If she didn’t become a pro hero she would DEFINITELY start a band or become a solo singer

She’s Bisexual ofc

She likes Queens and The Beatles

She isn’t exactly the best at comforting people

Socially awkward if you guys are new to eachother but once y’all become besties she wouldn’t stop sending her Spotify music, hangout etc BFF stuff :D

Her favorite instrument is the electric guitar obviously

I headcanon that she went to a school in London for 3 years before moving back to Japan when she was around 10

she’s funny unintentionally

Always sarcastic

She would definitely side eye someone if they do something dumb or annoy her

Obviously bff with Momo yaoyorozu

She has one of the best styles when it comes to clothes in Class 1A

She has a undercut but the class doesn’t know it yet

She knows many dramas going on around the school but prefers to keep it to herself

She does makeup for the girls cuz she is super good at makeup

[lovesick-boyz]

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

[hearteyesmcgarrett]

is it weird to just answer the ask meme questions without actual asks? probably, but i want to yell about fandom shit rn so you can't stop me

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. its obvious that im in a grimm fixation rn, so i have to say nick/monroe as a romantic ship (or nick/monroe/rosalee), and the whole gang as a platonic relationship. For SGA, i'm always a mcshep fan but i honestly enjoy any pairing of AR1. Anyone that has followed me for an extended period of time knows that im a mcdanno (H50) and leverage ot3 truther as well.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. hmm, not sure? OH some folks doing the sga kinkmeme have mentioned john/cam and im very intrigued

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. Rodney/Jennifer :( I love Jennifer, but the writers consistently changed her characterization and that relationship felt forced and weird (SGA)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. John/Elizabeth. I'm sorry! maybe its just because im gay af but to me their relationship felt like bffs, not romantic (SGA)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? I made that stargate cinnamon roll meme, if that counts

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? ~10 years

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? i'm a multishipper for sure, but one of the first ships i remember really clearly was eric/ryan from csi miami (circa age like 12)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? TV!

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I dont know that it was entirely tumblr, but yeah, Voltron. The fandom was truly fucking awful

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.) uhhhh, like every show tbh. 99% of the shows i watch came from tumblr or online friends

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. hmm, I guess Adalind counts as a character who isnt one of my faves. She's a complex and interesting character, and its clear that a lot of her decisions come from a place of trauma. After having Diana it really shows that she does want to protect her and keep her safe (grimm)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. Ronon (SGA), Hardison (Leverage), Teal'c (SG1), etc

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom 1. men showing emotions!!! (grimm does this well, thankfully) 2. on a similar note: depicting how the shit these characters get up to is traumatizing and how that impacts them long term 3. literally any canon queer rep. can we PLEASE have a show like stargate or grimm where one of the characters (especially a man) is canonically queer? is that so hard???

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? Forfeit by Rise Against always makes me think of ascended Daniel/Jack (SG1). Oh and ever since i saw a gifset with lyrics from it, Timberwolves at New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday makes me think of John (SGA)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). one of these fuckin days i am going to write a baseball SGA AU

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. As previously mentioned: Voltron because the fan base was toxic and awful

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? all my favorite fandoms are themed around found family so this is so hard lmao. Nick & Hank (Grimm), Eliot & Harry (Leverage Redemption), Harry & Breanna (LR), Don & Charlie if brothers count (Numb3rs), etc

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon anyone who reads my H50 fics knows that i will fuckin die on the hill that Danny has an anxiety disorder

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?  besides anxious danny, I'd say John having ADHD (SGA), and Monroe being bi (Grimm) are two right off the top of my head

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites 1. Steve McGarrett (H50) - he's been through so much shit, but he's still so damn loyal and protective and kind. He's such a good dude who is just traumatized beyond belief. 2. Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs) - besides the fact that i am CONVINCED he has ADHD, he's just so fucking loving and passionate about his work and the people he loves. he balances out the hardness of Don and the gang with the sheer size of his heart 3. Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - basically the same reason as steve. I have a type.

V - Which character do you relate to most? this is tough. probably Daniel (SG1) - esp early seasons - because of similar worldviews and interests and personalities, and Danny (H50) because of similar personalities

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. MISCOMMUNICATION!! its so frustrating.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. im a big ol softie so i love stuff like mutual pining, hurt/comfort, etc.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms Good Omens is a big one rn lmao. I've read the book but haven't watched the show. Also, Daredevil probably. I watched at least the first season years ago, but haven't seen anything beyond that. I still enjoy seeing people's posts about it and i read fic sometimes

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! im so cranky rn about the lack of depiction of trauma/mental illness/neurodivergence/etc in fandoms where its to be expected. like with Grimm rn, you give Nick PTSD and sensory enhancements but then suddenly forget about them?? that's not how that works! Or why is it always just hinted at that characters are ND? why is it so hard to just be like 'yeah no x has ADHD (or whatever)'? i want to be able to actually have complex/tough/interesting/etc protags that are ALSO neurodiverse. if we're all reading John as having ADHD (SGA) or Parker being autistic (leverage) anyways, why can't these things just be intentionally part of the character

[edwinspaynes]

Author Interview

I'm shamelessly stealing this from @my-archerboy because I want to play.

1. How many works do you have on ao3:

-> 87.

2. What’s my total ao3 wc:

-> 508,202

3. What are my top 5 fics by kudos:

Dancing in a Snowglobe Round and Round

We Found Wonderland (You and I Got Lost in It)

A Ghost in the Back of This Room

February 14: A Story of Years

A Therapeutic Chain of Events

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

-> I try to, but sometimes I forget because of ADHD reasons.

5. What fic has the angstiest ending?

-> Aw man, I don't like angst and don't really write it. I guess I'll go with my most bittersweet ending, which I think is probably The Stars Are Aligned (So Save That Heart for Me). It features Thomas and Alastair's reincarnations meeting for the first time before beginning a relationship.

6. What fic has the happiest ending?

-> Almost all of my fics have happy endings, so idk how to answer this. The one I think has the happiest ending will be an extremely controversial pick, though, because I know people usually read it as bittersweet. I pick A Ribbon of Dream. Thomas and Alastair have grown old together and are very happy.

7. Do you write crossovers?

-> Nope. Though I sometimes feel a strong compulsion to write a fic about Matthew Fairchild meeting Devi Vishwakumar, because I think very few things could be funnier.

8. Have you received hate on ao3?

-> Once, someone yelled at me for writing a Ben/Aneesa fanfic in the NHIE fandom. I just deleted the comment. I have gotten hate for my TSC fic on Tumblr, though.

9. Do you write smut?

-> Yes, but I need to be comfortable writing the characters. This means that I only write smut for Thomas/Alastair and Will/Tessa right now. I likely will feel able to write some stuff about Matthew/LI too because I'm so comfortable with Matthew, but those who know me will know that I do have some fandom-related trauma that will make writing smut about him very difficult. I may be able to do it if I explicitly age him up to be a DILF.

10. Have you had a fic get stolen?

-> I sure hope not.

11. Have you had a fic get translated?

-> Nope, but that's okay!

12. Have you co-written a fic?

-> I haven't, I'm pretty set in my writing processes and would only attempt it with a couple of people.

13. What’s your fav ship?

-> Thomas/Alastair

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but never will?

-> This Alastair + Grace BFF story about them Christmas shopping. I hit a massive roadblock with it, set it aside, and never finished. Christmas has now passed, so ... alas.

15. What are my writing strengths?

-> I'm good at describing locations, expressions, and emotions. I actually know that I'm a good writer and am not going to pretend otherwise. I think that my strongest character to write is Matthew, followed closely by Alastair.

16. What are my writing weaknesses?

-> In fic? Plotting. I hate plotting. I like writing fluff and hurt/comfort. This is because I actually don't care about the plot of TID or TLH, I just adore the series because spending time with the characters is a joy.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on ao3?

-> I don't speak Persian, Spanish, or Welsh, which would be the languages that would really help me. So, no. I do use small words and phrases, especially terms of endearment.

18. What’s the first fandom you wrote for?

-> Urusei Yatsura. I was like 12. I still occasionally write for it.

19. What fandom/ship have you not written but want to?

-> A Charm of Magpies, specifically Stephen/Lucien. I hope to write a little of them this year! One of my new year's resolutions is also to write more Jordelia fic.

20. What’s your fav fic you’ve written?

-> A Therapeutic Chain of Events, and also perhaps A Ribbon of Dream in a different way.

[hes-writer]

Patron Exclusive Masterlist

these are exclusive fics that you can read on my patreon.

find me on: wattpad, AO3, ko-fi, matt murdock tumblr

* = complete, ^ = in-progress

(s) = smut (implied or mentioned)

most recent

# of pieces: 80

Early Access | Matt Murdock/Daredevil

enduring (1) (2) - 3.4k, y/n meets elektra in an unconventional way

Patron Exclusive | Matt Murdock/Daredevil

Multi-Part Series

the senses: touch - 1.2k, matt's love language is physical touch and he doesn't quite believe it until. . .

virgin college!matt: blowjob - 3.5k, you and matt work through the steps of losing his virginity

Early Access | Harry Styles

Multi Part Series:

^ (s) Fine Line Series: Adore You, Lights Up - previous parts are on my tumblr masterlist! 1.1k, harry and y/n are friends with benefits

* Notes on Camp (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) - 16.3k, harry is the head counsellor and y/n is new (uploaded on Tumblr!)

One Shots

Stories in My Eyes - 1.2k, dadrry! being woken up in the middle of the night

Dream With Me - 1.3k, y/n has trouble sleeping

Favourite Fic Extra: As It Was - 3.5k, harry battles with the fear of rejection when reaching out to his daughter

Patreon Exclusive

Multi Part Series

* Unwavering (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) - 7.6k, another cheating fic

^ Roommate Series (3) (4)  (5) (6) - 7.5k, will be uploaded on tumblr when it's finished!

* (s) Friends Don't (1) (2) (3) - 3k, harry catches y/n reading a smutty fanfic about him

* Digress, Progress, Regress Series - 5k, harry falls out of love

^ Tickle Fights (1) - 1.2k, bff!y/n teases harry about his boner

^ Real Mature (1) (2) - 1.6k, harry and y/n make up

* (s) Tension (1)   (2) - 5.4k, harry and y/n hate each other

* The Secretary (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) - 13.5k, CEO!Harry and his secretary (cheating fic)

^ Champagne Problems - 4.7k, y/n proposes

ghostin' (2) - 1.4k, based on 'ghostin'' by Ariana Grande

Harry’s House Track List Series

Music for a Sushi Restaurant - 1.4k, in which y/n gets nauseous

One Shots

(s) Achy Back - 813 words, y/n has an achy back, harry draws a bath

A Letter To The Man I've Loved - 1.5k words, harry receives a letter from y/n

Renegade - 981 words, y/n teaches harry the 'renegade' dance

(s) Drop the Towel - 644 words, harry does the 'drop the towel' challenge

All I Ask - 2.2k, feelings aren't mutual and hearts are broken

Little Prince - 583 words, 7-year old y/n gets hurt and harry takes care of her

Stressed Out - 1.8k y/n has a huge term paper due. she's stressed and harry tries to get her to take a break

(tw!) Valentines Day  - 1.5k, harry runs into trouble and y/n is there to save him

Pet Name -  1.2k, bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name

(s) Shave - 768 words, harry helps y/n shave her coochie

(s) Don’t Worry, Darling - 1.5k, y/n rides harry

To Be Loved - 2.3k, y/n’s feelings are more than friendly and harry doesn’t exactly feel the same way

Apple Cheeks - 1.1k, harry admits his feelings

(tw!) Affliction - 1.5k, harry breaks down

From the Dining Table - 749 words, y/n reminisces and wonders if Harry is too

(s) Around 1:32 - 3.2k, y/n has a wet dream

(s) Roughed Up - 2.8k, a day in the life of harry and y/n

(s) Feather Boa - 1.5k, after the Grammys

Train - 720 words, harry and y/n go for a train ride

enough for you - 1.7k, based on 'enough for you' by Olivia Rordigo (part of the SOUR series)

(s) coachella weekend - 3.1k, harry performs at his first coachella and he’s grateful that y/n is there

Drabbles:

(s) Drabble #1: Fratboy!Harry - 469 words, y/n meeting fratboy!harry at a party

Drabble #2: Asshole!Harry - 848 words, another cheating blurb!

(s) Drabble #3: Tease - 1.4k, harry teases y/n

(s) Drabble #4: Dessert - 1.7k, y/n makes dinner but harry wants dessert

(s) Drabble #5: Mine - 579 words, harry is obsessed with y/n’s tits

(s) Drabble #6: Early Mornings - 1k, harry thinks y/n is the prettiest in the morning

Drabble #7: Getaway - 952 words, harry is always cold and y/n is always warm

Drabble #8 - A Little Chilly - 451 words, harry sleeps on the couch

Kinkmas 2020

(s) Day 1: Mirror Sex - 532 words, y/n installs a mirror in the bedroom ceiling

(s) Day 2: Spanking - 565 words, y/n is a brat and Harry’s not having it

(s) Day 3: Breeding Kink - 465 words, harry and y/n forego the condom for the first time

(s) Day 4: Praise Kink - 546 words, harry loves her noises and y/n can't help herself

(s) Day 5: Food Play - 488 words, harry’s salty but y/n wants something sweet too

(s) Day 6: Fingering - 978 words, y/n has a hard time focusing

(s) Day 7: Role Play - 1.5k, y/n really likes harry's DWD suit

Notes on Camp Fic Extras

Pudding Cups - 1.3k, what happens after harry steals food from the kitchen

Photograph - 1.4k, 'you keep that photo of us in your wallet?'

Text Messages:

Text Messages #1 - ‘would you love me if I was a snail?’

Text Messages #2 - harry and y/n are university students taking the same class

Text Messages #3 - ‘did you steal my hoodie?’

Notes/Behind the Scenes

Notes: Tarnish

Notes: Stressed Out

[sarcasticfina]

Fic Writer Tag Game

How many works do you have on AO3? 263

What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,901,188

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? including the fandoms on FFnet, that haven't yet been moved over to ao3, that'd be a total of 37. separating the larger fandoms (marvel, dcu) into their individual parts: Thor; Arrow; Smallville; The Vampire Diaries; Glee; Captain America; Supernatural; Teen Wolf; Iron Man; Life with Derek; Firefly; Friday Night Lights; X-Men; Fantastic Four; Harry Potter; Sons of Anarchy; Girl Meets World; Batman; Daredevil; From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series; Transformers; Lost Girl; Game of Thrones; Banshee; High School Musical; The OC; One Tree Hill; CSI: New York; Degrassi; Gossip Girl; NCIS; The Unusuals; Criminal Minds; iCarly; Secret Life of the American Teenager; Twilight; and The Listener

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. and I wonder (if everything could ever feel this real forever) - darcy/bucky - Steve tells him that Darcy's harmless. Bucky imagines, on paper, Darcy is harmless. HYDRA wouldn't give her a second glance. But he does. He can barely keep his eyes off her. He's not sure he wants to. | Kudos: 5576

2. I Climbed The Tree To See The World (When The Gusts Came Around To Blow Me Down, I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me) - darcy centric | darcy/steve - The path to self-discovery, including becoming Coulson's assistant-slash-liaison-slash-bff, Captain America's lady love, and rating fourth on the SHIELD BAMF scale, was like the yellow brick road; it was chaos and confusion around every bend. | Kudos: 3973

3. Take a little piece of my heart (and keep it for yourself) - oliver/felicity - A collection of Olicity prompts on Tumblr posted here for easier access/reading. | Kudos: 3498

4. You put your arms around me (and I'm home) - darcy/bucky - A collection of Darcy/Bucky oneshots, drabbles, and prompt fills. | Kudos: 3293

5. you (anchor me back down) - darcy/bucky - "I'll be right back." Famous last words. | Kudos: 2747

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? not all of them. i do try to keep up on them, especially on longer stories when there's been significant wait times in between chapters, or when a reader is asking a question or is unclear on something. and especially when someone writes a really indepth comment/review, i like to respond to those and talk about motivations and character growth.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I've written a number of fics that either had suicide or major character death, so i'm not sure if one outranks the other in terms of most angsty... hmm... i remember "be still and know that I'm with you (be still and know that I am here)" and "light a match, burn the world to ash (I will watch it die, and hold your hand as I fly)" both got some pretty intense reactions when they were posted. And "It's Your Song That Sets Me Free (I Sing It While I Feel I Can't Go On)" was basically just angst from beginning to end. buuuuut, i think i'll say "so you think you can tell (heaven from hell" was, only because there's a build up of everything going so right, only to pivot at the end, so it feels very bittersweet.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i loooooove crossovers. i find writing in the marvel fandom makes things quite easy, but also smallville. as long as i can find a common thread, i enjoy finding a way to overlap two shows. i'll say the hardest one to write was "ruby red slippers (unavailable in her size)." I'm not sure why, but i found writing each personality together just felt strange. i liked the idea behind the story, but i definitely remember feeling like i was really forcing myself to keep going, like something just didn't fit right.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? oh, definitely. you cannot please everyone, it's impossible. for the most part, hate comes and i either argue back, take the criticism for what it's worth, or just ignore it when it's baseless. i think the hate that bothered me the most was a homophobic PM someone sent me re: "you know I will adore you ('til eternity)," on FFnet. i actually went and searched it up. they've since blocked me so i can't read our whole thread back and forth. but i did put part of it on tumblr so i could rant on it a bit, so you can see that here.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? ha. yes. depending on the story, it can be really detailed or really flowery. it depends on the ship, the plot, and how graphic i feel like being. i've definitely become more comfortable over the years with my writing. that said, i think everybody likes something different. i once had a reviewer tell me a sex scene was too much, just too intense. it was a stefan/caroline story and to be fair, that entire oneshot was just them fucking, lol, but it is what it is. to each their own.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Multiple times.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! for the record, i am always happy to have my stories translated and shared. i just like having a link sent to me and to be credited.

What’s your all time favorite ship? i have a list of OTPs, because interests change and as shows come and go, my love for a ship can be shelved for a while before it pops back up at random. currently, i can't get enough of buck/eddie from 9-1-1. and, historically, chloe/oliver (smallville) and felicity/oliver (arrow) have been two of my top OTPs. but i think i'd have to go with bonnie/damon. they had all the potential and the show dropped the ball by not exploring it. at the same time, that's kind of a blessing, because i don't trust those writers to properly explore what they had without eventually destroying it for the likes of de/ena. it means a treasure trove for writing where it could have gone and all the what if's.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? the intention is always to finish. but given how i feel about allison mack and how that impacts my feelings re: chloe sullivan, pretty much anything with her as a main character is not something i see myself returning to.

What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses? i'm putting these together because my strength is my weakness. i love to write. when i get an idea, i go all in and i will skip eating and sleeping to just write write write. but i also eventually hit a wall and i get so many ideas that i hyperfocus on one until the steam is gone and then i hyperfocus on the next one to maintain that need to keep writing, accidentally leaving the last story in the dust for entirely too long. i also have clinical depression that comes and goes, which hasn't been super great mixed with covid and isolation, so more often recently, i find myself overly exhausted and despite wanting to write, can rarely get motivated to do so. so, pre-covid, wrote so much i left entirely too many stories dangling. during covid, i've just been reading and struggling to get myself focused enough to do what i love.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i appreciate the authenticity when possible, but i've recently been reading more about how native speakers of other languages feel when a) their language is butchered by google translate, or b) it's just not genuine in terms of how bilingual speakers act or speak.

What was the first fandom you’ve written for? it was smallville, but i remember adopting it out to someone else because i wasn't going to finish it. so if you look at my ffnet, the first fandom i wrote for appears to be x-men: the movie, but i remember writing a chloe/oliver story prior to that.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? i have a lot. i mean, on ffnet, i have 576 stories, many of which were transferred over to ao3, with a lot of oneshots and drabbles getting joined together into collections. so there's a ton to pick from that span a 14-ish year timeline.

"you know I will adore you ('til eternity)" and "let me break (the walls that surround me)" hold a special place in my heart.

honestly, each story is important in its own way. there are bits and pieces of each that i love. every time i write something new it feels like my favorite. my best. and then a new idea comes along. there are scenes i've written that i loved more than the whole of what they became. lines that stand out that are almost too good to be a part of the larger picture.

one of my all time favorite passages i've written was bonnie's thoughts on damon and herself in 'if you love me (let me go)":

He is far from perfect. He is a novel of red, corrective ink. He is frayed pages and torn binding. His life, his choices, his mistakes leave lasting effects on everyone he meets.

She is a lifeboat with a hole in it. An anchor that drowns in the sea while everyone else remains steady above. She is both the calm and the storm, and while she screams that she will not be tamed, she cries. Bittersweet tears that go unnoticed and uncared about.

there are other stories, other pieces of dialogue, that i've been proud of. that make me laugh when i re-read them. that make me cry. and i love them. there are others that make me wilt and cringe and regret. it's a process. love and pride and growth, all bound together.

Tagging: @absentlyabbie, @anonymous033, and anyone else who'd like to fill this all out, haha

[wolfwhiteflowers]

I gotta rant ... Eh ok 🐺 n moody. this post ...I’m just repeating things & stuff.

I feel like I can't go on Twitter or say something cos .. I don't wanna argue. Don't @ me 🙈 yet I go make posts. 🙃

I feel annoyed cos there's positive posts about Caryl out there and I just want them to get it and not be upset(and make anti-Caryl-like posts). But oh well then. Some are just negative always so. Anyway, it's hard to wait for the ep and be bored and wanting to see random Caryl fluff stuff & meta.

I looked at Twitter and stuffff 😾 ...its awkward. Tumblr is a safe place I guess.

I feel like screaming ..”We are in the angst arc now!” This arc is like making it possible~ for Caryl to be romantic potentional (not bffs) and though dramatic but I'm sure Caryl is endgame. It seems to be that way IMO. Especially since Leah is similar to Carol. Things are changing. I feel we’re starting a new Caryl-chapter that is romantic-like and angsty. Well, I’ve been calling it s10C with those bonus episodes.  I would think it’s a bad sign if Carol didn’t react jealous or so about Leah or something, and if writers didn’t make the episode about Caryl overall.

The weird thing is that I thought I would be having unpopular opinions or be awkward in the Caryl-fandom when the spin-off show starts because of some TWD/non shippy related storylines that may happen. Like I might quit or something. So it's like oh ok so it’s now and not after the twd show. Oof surprising ..

And that I was like on the FENCE and upset back when CZ was going on in s9. Anyway Idk why it’s different with Daryl/Leah. Maybe, with CZ it was sudden and Kang just started to showrun. So I didn’t know much how the writers will do. Now I think I do..and I think Leah/Daryl is CZ 2.0 as in they are not endgame.

I guess people like angsty fics (with happy endings) but not when there's angst in tv shows of your ship or fave character. I forget that(in any fandom). People don't like angst. There's always fandom drama when it happens. I feel like some Carylers quit and dropped out of the angsty story midway of it, we're not done. There are like 24 episodes ep to go. And idk how it will go and how spin-off will go. So whatever is good for you or ...try to follow the narrative. Idk..I’m expecting big new drama coming. I'm sure there is a happy ending thing later on from this angst arc. Like the spin-off show is coming later on or could be around s11B. Maybe I'm good at spotting angst arcs and figuring things will be fine. Idk I just try to follow the narrative and if it's not going too bad then it's gonna be ok...and if I still like/interested in what writers are doing. The ep Diverged already looks positive for Caryl in the angst arc to me. And that it's all still overall about Caryl.

Idk but guys .. If there's angst and about romance things, then that's a big deal. Writers are starting to make Caryl possibly to make them romantic and not platonic. Like they've been doing that since s10 actually or.. S9f. !!! ...s10 is so Caryl-y. 💕

Awhile ago I wanted some kind of Caryl / Daryl angst fic set in s9. Those time jumps. Like when Daryl would be jealous of Zeke, and pining Carol for years and would love/hate her visits to him in the woods. (He was so depressed) Anyway tv writers are exploring more in that area now lol. Idk it's like Kang planned it. She added this subtle angst in S9...and then was like” no wait this is good angst.” I'm still shocked how s9 finale went. So then it becomes this sad Daryl angst with Carol visiting him a bit and Leah leaving him. And then Caryl kinda restarting their bond in s10.

So I think there'll be a love triangle plot and it might be planned before. Maybe with Connie at first but now it's with Leah because LR is too busy or writers wanted to do it differently. I mean... Caryl very possibly canon and endgame or Carol wouldn’t be breaking up with Zeke and be single...and episodes being about Caryl & spinoff show.

Sigh people talking about Daryl. It's confusing. It's like they want to hate on him right away. Maybe Daryl is bit different than we thought but still Daryl. We haven't seen the ep yet..to explain why he does the things he did. He's not abusive .. He's frustrated and he argued. Maybe it's a Carol stan thing... But I know Carol was on rage and even went too far... And still did what is right and is still a good person. Anyway idk they need to talk and rebuild their trust again. Just ...normal relationship things and they will be fine like in 3 episodes. Again all this drama is about Caryl when he’s upset/projecting? about Connie (and Leah?). 

And the whole love/sex thing, I don't get why that makes him OOC and calling it a fling. Maybe in the show it will make more sense to how Daryl are things with love/sex. I still think he's like a slow burn kind if dater or lover. It's so crazy to expect that one person he dates is his one true love. Like how? And how lucky that is though? Anyway .. ‘Slowburn dater’ makes sense to me..cos people do make mistakes. And based on spoilers he knew Leah for awhile so it's not a fling. And Leah is IMO similar to Carol...so = first love is still Caryl in a way. Is Leah even his first love? The point is I still think Daryl is still Daryl.

Ok so looking at haters�� tweets and lol I know its bad but OMG they really are spite-shippers and they just wanna hate on Caryl and Carylers. ‘Gee what about your ship?’ I see a *few comments from them worried about Leah and a few that were like ‘oh wait Daryl had been in a relationship before’-their headcanons a bit ruined.  Anyway I feel more and more confident that D0nnie isn’t happening or even be in majority in, what I think, a love triangle plot. It’s gonna be Caryl vs Daryl/Leah. (idk if it’s in a big way or subtle way in s11.) It’s not gonna be D0nnie vs Daryl/Leah and then oh look Caryl spin-off show. So...I don’t think C0nnie will be into this plot much. And yeah ...,to me, the endgame is still Caryl because of the spinoff show.

Maybe it’s a subtle something love triangle plot...and Leah is actually comic Pamela..or Sherry or something. If’s writers actually wrote it in a way that’s based on comic Carl, Sophia, and Lydia. That would be cool but Idk how that works by adapting that. Anyway, we’ll know more about Leah later on. I still think she’s for plot device. L is for comic!Lydia. lol

Also another rant I guess... some people are just always negative so .. yeah. Try to avoid the negativity then. Some of them ..are still here so I guess they’re still positive about Caryl without saying it.

idk I guess I see what I think the writers are trying to do for s10C and s11. And I’ll feel more confident in my thoughts once I see the each episode. So far I think Caryl is endgame.

[paintedrecs]

For the fandom talk meme thingy: C (not trying to start drama I swear), I, K, R, and X. =D

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Hmmm, there are a few ways of answering this. One is by listing all my NOTPs, which would be excessively long and ultimately boring because it essentially boils down to “anyone else with either member of my OTP.” I monoship my primary pairings, so I’m pretty strict on what I do and do not like. 

(With the way fandom is now, I should clarify that NOTP means that I personally do not like a ship and I therefore go out of my way to avoid it - by muting terms, carefully filtering tags and search results, curating my own space, etc. It doesn’t mean I think the ship is badwrong or that anyone else should stop shipping it. It just means I do not ever want to see it.)

This feels a little less specific on that front, though, maybe more just: people like this and I’m meh about it?

So Allydia comes to mind. I don’t hate it, and if the Sterek’s good enough I’ll still read a fic with them as a background pairing, but I don’t ever like it as a romantic ship. While I ship Lydia with lots of different characters, including Cora, I’ve always seen Allison as straight, so I suppose that’s part of it? And I love Lydia & Allison as bffs - I see them as entirely platonic, like Scott & Stiles, so introducing romance just doesn’t work for me.

Another one is Sheriff Stilinski/Peter Hale. I...I don’t understand it. Unlike the last answer, this background pairing will prevent me from reading a Sterek-central fic.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

This turned into a complicated and kind of roundabout answer, so I’m putting the rest of the questions under a long-post cut!

I stopped frequenting tumblr for two main reasons:

that whole weird purge thing that made me think everyone was leaving, so I just gave up, which might’ve been premature cause it seems like folks are still going strong on here

the emergence of antis, specifically within the Voltron fandom (although they’re everywhere at this point)

There’s a saying in fandom now: 

“Why is the younger fandom generation like this?!??” “Tumblr raised them.”

For me, for years, tumblr was a really wonderful space where I had a lot of great conversations and read very thoughtful threads that helped me to learn some important things about myself, other people, and a world much wider than my own.

But I was an adult when I joined this site, and it really does seem like there’s a whole new crop of kids who have no actual context for ideas like social justice, the need for canonical representation in our media, and a lot of other things that eventually got folded into a big ball of disconnected rhetoric that they now fling as hard as they can at the heads of fandom creators who are committing the ultimate sin of creating content for ships they don’t like.

It’s late, and I don’t feel like getting into a whole Essay Rant about all that.

So on an entirely personal level, I quit running appreciatejack (my Check Please/zimbits/Jack Zimmermann blog) because someone sent me really vile hate for daring to ship Shiro/Keith from Voltron (two unrelated adults in a cartoon). It’s why I turned my ask boxes/anon/chats off on most of my blogs, and then eventually just...got tired of running them.

When I started up appreciatederek, I got a couple asks from people who wanted to know if it was going to be multiship or just Sterek, and when I said it was Sterek, they presumably went off to find other things they were into, because I never heard from them again. Y’know, the reasonable reaction. And then the rest of it was wonderful: finding content for it, and getting responses from people who enjoyed that content.

I thought appreciateshiro would be similar, but it was all so messy from the very start. The Sheith tag was FULL of hate. I was initially checking it every day, trying to find artists and writers and gif-makers to reblog and encourage and support, like I’d done in Sterek fandom, but instead I’d spend literal hours blocking people who came into that tag just to talk about how much they hated the ship.

Every day, I’d look for content for my OTP, and every day I’d come away from it angry and sad and frustrated. I never seemed to run out of people to block. And they never, ever seemed to run out of hate.

It was exhausting. It made me reluctant to go on tumblr at all. And eventually I just...sorta stopped.

So the answer to this question is more, I guess, “fandom made me stop liking tumblr, and in the process I stopped liking most fandoms.”

I’m sure you can kinda tell from the fandoms I’m currently the most invested in.

I love Sterek, and I will always love Sterek. Part of that’s the ship itself, of course, and part is because I had an incredible fandom experience with it. People within this fandom are still really great - always so welcoming and super excited about new content, even so many years on.

Otherwise, my current fandoms are kiiiiinda tiny:

Xanatowen (Gargoyles), which currently consists of exactly 2 people and 12 fics (3 of which are mine).

Trevorcard (Castlevania), which only has ~200 fics on AO3.

Taibani (Tiger & Bunny), which is an oldish fandom with only ~600 fics on AO3.

Remember, I came from a fandom that has SIXTY THOUSAND fics.

So while I feel very lonely and very sad about the low content levels in these fandoms, they’ve also given me the space to let go of some of my fandom hurt & anger and remember what it’s like to just...peacefully love something. I really miss just loving things and talking about loving those things and searching for other people who also love those things without running into....thousands upon thousands of people who HATE that you love that thing.

(Until I wrote all that out just now, I actually hadn’t realized how much this had still been hanging over me, or why I was so hesitant to come back to “reclaim” a space I’d once been super active and happy in. Essay over! Next questions.)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Answered here!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Answered here! 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Found family. This is probably a big part of why Sterek was my first real fandom, because the idea of Pack makes it incredibly natural to build out relationships beyond just the central romantic pairing. 

It doesn’t have to be a werewolf thing, though. I’m honestly not hugely fond of the whole puppy piles concept - I’m less interested in “biological urges make characters literally physically all snuggle up together in bed” than I am in the actual build of the friendships, and the concept of choosing people who will become the family you’ve been missing for whatever reason.

Maybe it’s reconnecting with biological family, or maybe it’s discovering that your friends have been filling that space for you all along, without you even fully realizing it. (The concept of “home” is another big one for me. Home is where your heart is etc etc.)

And hey! Now I can pull back in another question from earlier: about “pairings” that I might not have initially considered. As I suspected, I do have more! Mostly platonic.

For instance: Derek and Sheriff Stilinski becoming bffs. I thiiiink I can probably tie my ABSOLUTE LOVE of this concept back to HalfFizzbin’s can't be hateful, gotta be grateful. And then Cupboard Love really has to be the source of ALL my alive!Hales feels, which also includes folding Stiles into their family.

Fic is largely responsible for building out Derek’s relationship with Boyd, Erica, Isaac, his sisters...making them into an actual pack and friends and family in the way the show never bothered. And frankly while I don’t like canon!Scott at all at this point, I love his friendship with Stiles in fics, and I absolutely believe Stiles and Lydia would be amazing friends once he got past his crush on her. I’d point to another fic here, owlpostagain’s will to follow through, as the ultimate source for major Team Human feels.

So yeah. I’m always going to be drawn to stories about family, in whatever form that takes, particularly if it’s one that’s a little bit off the normal white-picket-fence path.

In Tiger & Bunny, it’s Barnaby joining the Kaburagi family, and learning how to be a dad and a friend to his new husband’s daughter.

In Gargoyles, I’m completely obsessed with the (canonical!) idea of a family that consists of a man, his wife, their son, and the chaotically loyal fae babysitter/tutor/third parent. It is not a stretch to tweak this the tiiiiiiniest bit to turn it into a nontraditional family structure of a man, his wife, his son, and his fae boyfriend. Honestly.

In Castlevania, the fic that made me sob my eyes out at one point does something the show would absolutely never. It gives Alucard the time to rebuild his physical home while befriending the people in the little town that crops up around it. It’s about Trevor and Alucard falling in love, but it’s also about them making a place for themselves in a world where that kind of comfort and stability and friendship is so badly needed.

I think we all kinda need that in our world right now. So I love being able to find it in fic, for the characters who’ve grown to mean something to me.

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[krsnlove]

Guest Rooms

A/N: Last year I wrote a birthday fic for @alj4890​ where her OC Amanda is with Maxwell. This year for her birthday, Amanda isn’t with Maxwell and I thought it’d be fun to do a fic for that, too. HAHA

                                      Happy Birthday BFF! 

Tumblr really isn’t the same without you! So glad you’re enjoying yourself on this day. You deserve it!

“You can’t be serious Maxwell.”

The youngest Beaumont brother quickly turned to the sound of the familiar dull, Mr. I’m-Too-Cool-For-Anything, voice.

“What?,” Maxwell asked.

Drake lifts an eyebrow at the oversized stuffed animal behind him.

“Please tell me that isn’t for who I think it is.”

Maxwell shrugged at his comment, avoiding the pair of eyes studying him.

“You’ve done enough. The breakfast and lunch earlier. Plus all the gifts in between...you did good Maxwell.”

“She deserves better than good,” he mumbled. Turning his attention back to the stuffed animal, he forces the large leg of the panda bear into the backseat of the car.

Drake watches in silence, unsure of what more he could say that would dissuade his friend from continuing in this futile pursuit.

For the past several months he has had to witness Maxwell’s journey from helpless to completely hopeless.

Drake was thinking how pitiful it all had been when Maxwell’s raised voice filled the air.

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!”

MEANWHILE AT THE ST. ORELLA DUCHY

Amanda closes her eyes in pure ecstasy, savoring the delicate and moist piece of chocolate morsel in her mouth.

“Mmmmm,” her moan of pleasure echoes throughout the kitchen.

“That good huh?,” Elliot’s dimpled smile is the first thing Amanda sees when she finally opens her eyes.

“No. It’s amaaaazing,” she answers as she takes another bite of the chocolate cake slice from the birthday cake Elliott brought over.

“So what does a guy have to do to get some cake around here?”

Amanda’s lips curve into a playful smile but doesn’t answer him, helping herself to another spoonful of cake.

“And here I was thinking I alone held the title of making you speechless,” Elliott said with a hint of amusement.

“Let me taste this amazing cake,” he mockingly asks as he stood behind her chair.

Amanda turns to offer him a slice only for Elliot to lean down and press his lips against hers.

The kiss is brief but allows Elliott just enough time for his tongue to taste the rich flavors mixing within Amanda’s mouth.

“Mmm,” Elliott hummed while breaking the kiss. “That is good.”

Dumbfounded, Amanda clears her throat and takes a sip from the glass of milk on the table.

“Still got it,” he said with a dimpled grin before leaving the room.

Between Maxwell and Elliott making a fuss over her today, Amanda felt undeserving of anything else for the rest of the year. The birthday banner Elliott surprised her with earlier in the day lay on the marble countertop. Next to it laid the gifts from Maxwell: a bouquet of flowers, her favorite candy, balloons, and an exquisite tennis bracelet.  

She opened the rectangular box, admiring the piece of jewelry once more. It really is beautiful she thought to herself before finally shutting the box. But Amanda couldn’t bring herself to keep such an expensive gift.

Best friend or not.

She shook off the thought of Olivia’s ridiculous rants about Maxwell trying to win her back through gifts. After all, Amanda reassured herself, she and Elliott were basically maybe almost engaged.

Or whatever the tabloids dubbed them as these past few months.

Before her thoughts can take over, her longtime butler Winston walks into the room announcing a visitor.

Amanda’s eyes widen with surprise at the oversized panda bear following closely behind him.

“Surprise!”

Maxwell’s head pops out from behind the oversized stuffed animal.

“Happy Birthday Mandy,” he teases with her least favorite nickname.

“Watch it,” she warns but the smile playing on her lips give her away.

“This,” Maxwell grunts as he steps over the large bear, “is your new home!” He announced with a flourish of his hand, staring expectantly at the still object.

“And where is this new guest staying?,” Amanda asked as she tries to move the bear out of the kitchen entrance.

“Your bedroom.”

“Try again, Max.”

“How about guest room #3?”

“The theater room.”

“Guest room #5?”

While the two friends continue to discuss which room to place the large toy in, Elliott anxiously places the special medallion on the collar of his own gift to Amanda…

“Bark!”

“Sshhh,” his calming voice soothes the 10-week old German Shepherd puppy as he scratches behind her ears. “You’ll spoil the surprise.”

Elliott scoops the puppy into his arms and draws a few shaky  breaths in an attempt to calm his nerves. He takes a few steps only to stop himself when the puppy looks up at him expectantly, allowing Elliott another opportunity to read the words on the medallion once more...

“Please marry my Dad.”

[longeyelashedtragedy]

this has been the most wild fuckin year so let’s do a Year in Review shall we

in terms of internet and fandom life, that is. my real life has been atrociously boring but who cares about real life amirite folx

january probably the only calm month of the year.  i spent the first day of the month watching the brazilian inauguration in burgos, spain with one headphone in, while ordering for my family in a restaurant where nobody spoke english (my sister speaks decent spanish, but my whole family has like 8194814 food restrictions so it kind of went past her level of ability). translating between spanish and english with portuguese in one year was kind of awesome. i watched bodyguard and it was amazing!  what else...in january i briefly owned the issue of spanish GQ with Luka on the cover which i then forgot about until november. other than that...? nada.  the calm before the storm. (fav music)

february was so long ago that i keep forgetting how insane its 28 days were.  probably the wildest month of the year really. i got involved in an absolutely batshit and exclusive group chat with a famous person’s family member (which must remain confidential). it was all sunshine and rainbows for a week and a half and it then devolved into the most absolutely insane Lord of the Flies situation ever--it turned into 1 main chat and then 1 chat that was less puritanical than the main chat, and that chat spawned another chat that didn’t trust the previous chat, and then that chat had a massive argument and a like 6-person bitchy chat modded by a gay guy who does voodoo (shoutout to ALCIDES) spawned from that one.  i made it into every level of group chat and was asked by the tiny bitchy chat to spy on the other bitchy chat (i did not lol). i was a member of the tiny bitchy chat until i got a new phone and was logged out of whatsapp for like a month.  these words can’t even convey what this chat was like--oh and did i mention it was all conducted in only my 3rd-best language? it’s no wonder my weird ass survived middle school almost entirely unscathed.  as this was winding down, on the very last day of the month, I found out about Justin’s involvement in the SNC-Lavalin scandal and decided to go public about my years-long boner for him; Lavscam definitely changed the course of the rest year ~ Oh, also i began helping to repair a friendship that had had some Drama go down so that was p cool ~ (fav music)

march was a Time. The insanity of lavscam helped me finally finish the macdeau I started writing the previous December when a bunch of tungelr people called me disgusting for writing it.  i wrote my first straight-up serious explicit porn in years which has wound up being the third-longest thing i’ve ever published on ao3. Also, Hozier released Wasteland, Baby! which made a huge impact on me as well.  i spent like half of march staying up till 3:30 am writing said Long Fic, and i was firmly in the closet about stanning manu. also justin almost got a vote of no confidence or something and he got busted for eating a chocolate bar during a parliamentary all-nighter.  (fav music)

in april i wrote a ton of fanfic thanks to declining mental health(tm).  i think this is when i started my emmanuyell insta account and became really into making weird edits (which i still love doing just...don’t anymore.)  i started meeting some cool people thanks to macdeau.  what else happened in april? i feel like it wasn’t actually too eventful other than writing a lot of fanfic and being Annoyed about manu.  feel free to jog my memory lol.  oh i think i wrote “Okay so who from the French national team are we gonna ship Manu with” on twitter after seeing photos of manu + antoine griezmann at the World Cup but nothing came of that...at that time... (fav music)

may saw me having to deal with my shit mental health and up my meds but that seems to have had a good effect because i seem to not be too depressed to write in the winter/fall anymore! it was the 2nd anniversary of manu’s election and at the Christchurch Call in paris, macdeau took that amazing fairytale princess photo together that was completely unrivalled in Gay Shippy Feels moments until ivan went out of his way to kiss luka during the el clásico gameplay last wednesday. someone wrote ao3′s first griezmanu drabble and at the end manu gets down on his knees in front of antoine, takes off his shoes for him, and sucks his dick, and i achieved another state of being entirely.  my sister graduated from grad school and when we went down to DC for the weekend i went to eat at this restaurant manu famously ate at while there and ordered the same stuff he did and i have no idea how he consumed all that grease.  i learned about the song O Come, O Come, Emmanuel *snort*. i feel like other things happened in may too?  OH YES--i got the idea for my magnum opus, Trophy Boyfriend, and started to write it. the first scene i wrote was justin blowing manu in the hallway. then the same day i wrote the scene at the airport (which was the ending for a solid month and half till i realized it shouldn’t be), and the saddest scene in the fic--but we’ll stop to open presents.  oh! and i stumbled across the macronists discord chat which is such a delightful little community *weepy sniffles* (fav music)

june was Eventful.  a french neonazi on tumblr told me to go let manu fuck me in the ass because i was a fucking degenerate.  what a start!  then came the ceremony in which manu awarded everyone on the french national team the legion of honor medal and the way he and antoine looked at each other was truly...Wait it was the 3rd Gay Shippy Feels moment of the year.  as soon as the ceremony was over i wrote a fic about it and haven’t looked back.  between this + watching almost every 2018 World Cup game and the women’s world cup (during which I cried during argentina’s last game because of that miraculous penalty) i finally achieved my years-long goal of getting into Futbol(TM).  Antoine dropped his spotify playlist and my crush on him turned into Intense Love (TM) and also he introduced me to some legit awesome artists.  which led to (fav music)

july, in which i wrote “ça c’est ma dope” which is definitely the best thing i’ve written since i wrote “modernity towering in front of the sky” almost exactly 10 years before. got embroiled in Soccer Transfer Drama and learned its pain for the first time (unfortunately, since i wound up attaching my heart-wagon to barça’s Suddenly Least Favorite Player, the transfer drama pain has...never ended) became a full-fledged culé, O the joy O the honor.  i wanted to ship antoine with someone on the team, which in their current chemistry-less season is a real challenge, but after seeing a few photos i decided it would be fun to casually ship antoine + ivan rakitic (partially because, ever since i went from Enemies to Lovers with the croatia NT during the World Cup, he was one of the only players i knew anything about other than messi, suárez, and piqué lmao). while looking on ao3 to see what kind of headcanons people had about him--and the fic is definitely in general better than what’s out there about antoine, which is perplexing because antoine is much easier to write than ivan--i found That Amazing Rakidric Fic and thought “oh wait that ship makes a lot of sense” and started also shipping ivan and luka with the fire of a thousand suns.  oh and my air conditioner was broken for like 3 weeks. i worked on more fics, seriously outlining the path of Trophy Boyfriend, and my music taste was killer. (fav music)

in august i finished Trophy Boyfriend in my neighborhood Starbucks after writing the scene that was giving me the most trouble (the scene at the beginning where they’re organizing their book collection). the fic has made multiple people cry and people disagree on whether justin’s choice at the end was the right one and god i’m so proud of it.  Instantly went on to write ‘i might not mind,’ a lively lighthearted Friends to Lovers ivantoine~ romp which was definitely going to be a one-off and i was definitely not going to get an extra celeb crush out of it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (fav music)

in september ivantoine became A Thing in my mind and it’s a whole ongoing slow-burn character-arcy series that has taken a very different turn than i had expected. i’m not saying it’s like, the most deep writing of all time, but it’s gone to some interesting places emotionally. honestly, ships and boners aside, the concept of a person who made some really stupid homophobia 101 comments many years ago slowly realizing over and over again that they have gay feelings for a man who seems rather comfortable with gayness is a fascinating one and one that’s really cool to explore in writing.  Or at least, i think so.  in many ways ivan is my most unreliable narrator because of the many layers of Discomfort, Emotion and Repression at play in the fic while he’s interacting with this pretty cheery and uncomplicated seeming-dude who’s still perceptive enough to sort of know what’s going on (and that’s not even adding in the star player/falling from grace former rockstar dynamic!!!)  i know in the current climate it’s Not Allowed to write about someone who said a bad, but luckily i’m too old to give a Fuck. ivantoine is hard to write but it’s my bff’s favorite ship of mine and has a few other excited fans on ao3 which tbh is kind of an accomplishment considering i made it up out of thin air and it’s not something you’d ever think would be a thing. instantly also developed ‘getting called out about ivan by a child on the internet’ as a goal.  and...i achieved my dream of leading high holiday services!!! (fav music)

october had more high holiday services and i worked a lot on certain fics (including d*janfic which would be fun to finish). i came up with the idea of a Very Long Rakidric Fic based on the translation of a gorgeous croatian folk song i sang in college (Janko fell asleep under the poplar/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me/Under the poplar's golden branch/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me/I tore off the golden branch/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me--in which the golden branch is a reference to a way to get into the underworld). decided to start quarter-assedly learning croatian for fun.  Fun...ha.  other than fangirling a lot and watching the croatian NT play, october was pretty uneventful? i think? Justin got reelected and mauricio didn’t ;( (fav music)

in november i finally achieved my dream of having a literal child on the internet call me out about being attracted to a homophobe.  (they were a madridista even!) accidentally started writing some more rakidric and now i’m seriously hooked.  also accidentally came out of the closet about the secret crush i’d been harboring on luka modric and then one fateful day in the ihop on 14th st i realized i’d had this crush already and repressed it from my memory. Don’t do that kids! now it’s Hurting Really Bad. Ivan dropped the most pathetic and candid interview like...ever and i hope “¿Cómo puede disfrutar uno? Jugando al fútbol. ¿Cómo se siente mi hija pequeña cuando le quitan un juguete? Triste. Yo me siento igual. Me han quitado la pelota, me siento triste” goes down in the history of most epic futbol quotes of all time.  (still haven’t actually been able to watch this because no one has uploaded it anywhere)  What else...............Am i forgetting anything? i celebrated my birthday with @tender-vittles in epic fashion after two years of Not doing that, and turned 32 going on 15.  enjoyed my first-ever “x reader” fic (zlatko dalic x reader LOL) and finished “drive your plow over the bones of the dead” which was real fucking good. i saw hozier live and it was a religious experience and i unexpectedly cried during nina cried power and then called myself “Luka B” when ordering at the classy taco bell across the street after getting a glimpse of alexxx ryan in the flesh. (fav music)

now it’s december and my seasonal depression is a little worse than it’s been the past few years but i’m managing.  still shipping and writing and i just got called out about ivan again last week.  i’m 2 for 2 here!  el clásico was boring but also it was gay and my heart my heart my heart ! Anything could happen in the last 10 days of this year and honestly...I’m pretty sure I’m ready.

Most importantly this year, despite it being not that great in a lot of ways, I developed a lot more self confidence, made many important realizations, and became a lot more peaceful (despite how this post makes me sound) and wiser and less bitter and pessimistic.  And i became outspoken enough about antisemitism on the left to lose friends over it...3 for 3.  i can’t say i’m displeased with these developments.

Hasta 2020! <3

[femslashy]

Begin again

amanda why do you actually hate me and want me to suffer oh god my FEELS i miss my boooooooys q_____q

(fair warning i wrote most of this with voice to text bc my wrist is on ACTUAL FUCKING FIRE and i tried to edit it down but idk how well i did so if something doesn’t make sense that’s why ahahahahaha ouch)

link to fic (it’s snowbaz lol)

answers under the cut bc it got long oopsie

1. this fic took a year to write. when I say it took me a year to write i mean it took several months to write five chapters and then i took a giant break and then I challenged myself to complete it in three months.  it also started off as a completely different story. it was originally a headcanon made by another person in the fandom who actually ended up leaving Tumblr before i completed the story :( the original idea was a writer!simon au. it was still an exes to lovers fic where simon was a writer and baz was a book publisher or he worked for a book publisher and didn’t know that he had simons book (i think this actually happened later on) i don’t think it would have worked with the original plan and i’m glad that I scrapped it and i was much happier with where it went and the way the story turned out!

2. this is the first and definitely the last fic where I created an island and it takes a lot of confidence in my opinion to create an island and to just be like hey there’s now an island off the coast of southend-on-sea! yes this is believable don’t question me! i even made a map it was A LOT.

3. there was originally a plotline where baz’s family lived in a historical castle that also had a place for them to live and I think I kept it in there but not in the same way because I rewrote the opening and it didn’t include this one scene that essentially showed what it was so I think in the end I scrapped it because it was too complicated and I was running out of time whoops

4. i know this is technically two facts but because it’s about the same chapter/scene I am counting it as one fact sorry not sorry. i wanted the last scene to take place on the actual day of New Year’s Eve because I felt like it be more special for the reason but the fic flopped HELLA HARD so it’s not like it mattered anyways because nobody was reading it lmao and I also matched up the reunion scene to Susan Boyle‘s version of auld lang syne timed it so it would literally end on their kiss (i think???? like it had a point in there where you were supposed to start reading and then start the song but I don’t remember what it is rip)

5. i like writing open endings and i guess this isn’t very open because they get together but there’s still the question of what’s going to happen After because baz still lives in london and simon still lives on the isle of mage and idk here goes:

-they (baz and simon) try to stay in watford like they try REALLY HARD to make it work but like it’s hard bc memories and ghosts and baggage etc etc etc-neither of them wants to admit this to the other bc they want this relationship to work and they think it won’t work outside of watford??? like the Bubble or whatever-THEY ARE STUBBORN BOYS and put off Talking About It for a while-tension tension tension -andrea can tell somethings wrong bc idk magic bff powers lmao and shes like okay u have to leave this place is driving u crazy and baz is like but simon :((((((((((((-and she’s like him too!!!!-idk where this is going except goats in londonbc simon was like MY GOATS :((((((((((-and andrea in watford for like five seconds-maybe like simons all prepared to hate london except he doesn’t-even tho the stars are different or whatever ahahaha-GOATS ON A FERRY AHOY-and they live happily ever after bc they deserve it !!!!!!! 

send me a name of a fic I wrote and i’ll give you five facts/headcanons about it!

[fuckyeahexofics]

Fic Search #210

1.

191027. Hi! Thank you so much for putting your hard work to make this page up and running ❤️ I just want to ask for the fic where Jongin is an omega working as a kindergarten teacher and he adopted pup Baekhyun and Sehun is his alpha mate and they first met in a laundry shop. I forgot the title of the fic

2. 

 191028. Hello! I first read this fic on AO3. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are best friends but Kyungsoo ends up rooming with Chanyeol instead of Baek. Baekhyun and Chan meet and they start acquiring feelings for each other. When they went out partying Chanyeol and Kyungsoo ended up sleeping together because they were so drunk and didn't realize who the other was. It meant nothing to either of them and Baekhyun didn't speak to either of them when he found out. Happy ending BaekChan!

3. Rookie Boy by memefucker69

191030. Hi! How are you? I think tumblr ate my ask :( I'm looking for a kaisoo fic I red a long ago, I searched in your tags but couldn't find it. The plot was about Jongin liking vainilla sex and Kyungsoo wanting to try new things together. Then Jongin finds a website with nsfw posts and realizes he's into pet play. When Kyungsoo finds out he dresses up to surprise him and Jongin loves it. It was a short story, I think it has two chapters. Thanks a lot!!!

4.

191109. hi! i don't know if you cover tweetfics/sns aus as well but i'll try my luck. there was this sekai sns au i've read late 2017/early 2018. sehun was a photographer while kai is a model/influencer. there was this part wherein they were watching netflix and baekhyun found them the next day sleeping facing each other while holding hands. hope you can help me find this fic! thank you!

5. In Theory by annafeu

191110. Hiii! I'm looking for a fic I read some time ago. Sekai highschool/ or collage au. Kai gets curios about fingering but are not sure how to do it. Sehun then helps him because they are bff. A lot of trial and error. In one scene they are at sehuns house, in his hallway and Sehun tie Kai up and fucks him with his moms vibrator. In the end they become boyfriends.

6. 

191113. pcyxvl. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find one fic, it was chanbaek and it probably is on ao3. In it bbh and pcy were together but pcy died and bbhs friends, jongdae, sehun, and jongin tried to help him cope with it and at some point in the story he slept with them, but previously one day he got a phone call and it was from pcy, but a different one? From a different world or smth, and they talked a lot and nobody wanted to belive bbh, and at the end they got together. Ill be very thankful!!!

7.

191113. Hi! I’ve been looking for this krisho pwp fic which i think was on ao3, where junmyeon is a dom and kris is a sub. there’s quite a bit of temperature play and junmyeon uses wax. i kind of remember a scene where kris asks for wax on his balls?

8. 

191116. Hello Admins!! I have been trying to find this fic to no avail. It's a kaibaek-focused babysitters!au. It basically follows the plot of the movie The Babysitters with Baekhyun being the dad in an unhappy marriage and Jongin being the babysitter turn call girl. It has to be several years old. I think it was on either lg or aff. If anyone knows the title or if it's even still available I will be so so soooo grateful.

9. Star Light, Star Bright by  nikka14 [warning!!! miscarriage]

191116. kpoopfan. hello.. I hope that I'm not bothering you but I just wanted to ask if you could help me find this fic? its a chanbaek one with baekhyun as a girl, they are friends but baekhyun has feelings for chanyeol and they have a one night stand and baekhyun became pregnant, could you help me find it please and thank you :)

10.

191120. Hi there admins! I'm looking for an angsty Baekyeol fic I read a while ago and I've been searching everywhere but I just can't seem to find it... It was a kind of famous!AU and Chanyeol hates Baekhyun at first. Baekhyun owns an entertainment company that's not doing too well and he is desperate for trainees and Chanyeol owns a very successful entertainment company and I definitely remember it being called Loey Entertainment or Loey The first scene is of Baekhyun at a club trying to get trainees to join his company but no one wants to because the company is not doing well. I also remember chan and baek used to be friends and Baek betrayed him that’s why Chanyeol hates him… I seem to remember it being on AO3 but it might have been on LJ. I’m like 80% sure it was on AO3. Sehun was also in the fic, he was a trainee and he played a pretty big role at the start… Key words/specific scenes… I’m not 100% sure of the tags or if it even was tagged but it could be angst, drama… yeah that’s all I got lol… I am sorry if this fic is already on your blog, I looked through all the relevent tags and I couldn’t find anything, unless I missed it! Also sorry for rambling lol I would be SO happy if you somehow manage to find it with your magic powers! Thank you and love your blog!

thank you nonys, @keziainafreakland and x5yn4k4x!

[clareguilty]

Hey, I just wanted to say you’re a big inspiration for me, my favorite fic you’ve written is Steel Horses and Copper Hearts! But that’s besides the point, I’m relatively new to tumblr and I was hoping if you have any tips for an amateur fanfic writer such as myself. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, again, love your work!!!

AAAAH SWEETIE THIS IS SO CUTE AND NICE HI FRIEND I LOVE YOU (if u want pls message me so I can continue to shower you in love and affection)

Rule number 1: We’re all amateurs pretty much. Almost everyone I know does this as a hobby just for fun and it’s always the most fun when you don’t take things too seriously!

Continuing with that thought, community is probably the best part of fanfic and fandom in general. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and want to see you grow, then offer the same love to those people. @fivetail, @zarcake-writes, @calslaundry, @watch-your-grammer, @ivymarquis, @peachofwork and so many others are like my fanfic bffs and they always remind me that writing is fun and amazing. (also I always want to shout out my friends no shame)

As for the actual fic writing, my process has really developed over the past year and a half! I was originally inspired by Five’s fic @miss-conduct and I started writing mainly for myself while I was waiting for an update (no shade i promise)

I’ve always tried to write fics that I want to see. Not enough fluffy McCree? I’ll write it. Need more Blackwatch Gabe? I’m sure someone else wants it too. The content that you’re missing out on is probably the same content that someone else is missing out on too!

That being said, do not worry if your fics aren’t crazy popular! I have fics with over 10k hits and fics with just barely 100. A lot of that is just the luck of the draw and whatever is popular at the moment. The best thing you can do for your fics is write them with love. Comments and Kudos mean just as much on an unpopular fic as they do on a popular one. People will recognize the love you give your art no matter what.

I’m in the weird position of publishing my canon ships and reader inserts under the same account, which means I probably have people that follow me for a lot of specific types of content. I love canon ships just as much as I love writing reader inserts, and I’m not going to do one or the other just because it’s what is the most popular or will get me the most likes. First and foremost, I write for myself. I’m lucky enough (and so thankful) that I’m able to write commission fics, but I always have to remember to put out content that I want to see and makes me happy.

There is so much more I could talk about, and I’m always happy to answer more specific questions if you have them! Thank you so much for brightening my life with your words! <3