#first 4th of july in.. i wanna say 10 years

[sourapplesauces]

God i dislike fireworks

[moon-struck-net]

Yahoo Japan/Josei Jishin Interview July 4th 2023

https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/1d9cf92309815982cc6fa71684362c64fc9763ea

Up until now, the impression I had of age 50 was "the end of your life". I was conscious of Oda Nobunaga's saying that "life has 50 years". But now I understand that "life has 50 years" doesn't mean you can only live for 50 years, it’s about how much can you get done before you're 50. You can't go back to being in your 30s or 40s. I came to feel that what's most important in life is how much you were able to run at full speed up to that point. 

Previously I had been wondering internally how much I could get done by age 30, and I thought that it would be downhill from there and end at 50. So honestly what I'm thinking now is "Somehow I'm still alive," and "I've made it this far," that kind of thing. 

GACKT had his 50th birthday on July 4th. The release of the long-awaited movie that he is starring in- "Fly Me To The Saitama: From Lake Biwa With Love" has been announced for November 23rd. GACKT had previously kept his age secret from the public, and first announced it in 2009 along with the production of the play Nemuri Kyoshiro Burai Hikae, which he was starring in. We asked his honest thoughts. 

The question of whether to announce my age or not wasn’t really on my mind. But at the time, I wondered if it might be time to say it. My fans didn't know either.

The producer I had back then happened to suggest that I tell people my age, so I said "Ok". It wasn't something I particularly wanted to hide. So then I think there were a lot of people who thought "Wait, he's younger than me? He acted like he was older (laughs)."

[Translator’s note: GACKT is talking about how in Japanese culture, younger people usually defer to people older than them, but GACKT was behaving as though he were the one with more seniority]

There was only one reason that I concealed my age. When I was 20 and I moved to Tokyo and started doing music, everyone around me was senior to me. So if I said how old I was I'd immediately be treated as a junior and they'd walk all over me. The roles of senpai (senior) and kouhai (junior) are just decided by age, right? If I said my age, people older than me disrespected me, so I never told anyone my age, outside of my band members at the time. So I made up that I was 448 years old.

If someone was like "You're definitely younger than me. If you're going to have a disrespectful attitude toward me, then I'll crush you," I'd be like "You wanna go then?" Back when I was in a band it was like that all the time.

Most years, GACKT celebrates his birthday with a private party

On July 4th I usually have a concert or a birthday event, and when that's all over and I'm tired out I have a private party. 300 to 400 people attend, so I prepare a large amount of alcohol. In the beginning it was wine, but for the last 12-13 years it's been tequila. Even if each person speaks for one minute, if 400 people are there it takes 400 minutes, 7 hours. It's tough to keep drinking wine for that long, right?

So I thought I'd make it a "tequila survival challenge" party for everyone to participate in. I contact people and tell them that only those who are always in a state of readiness should come. I make them sign a contract at the door too. Saying no matter what happens here it's their own responsibility.

When my birthday party begins, my friends come on stage and immediately drink 10 shots of tequila, so it's tough (laughs). So everyone rapidly fades. At the end only about 30 people remain. At the end everyone staggers home.

I'm all alone when everyone leaves. But I'm totally hyped up and can't sleep, so from morning I start texting everyone. Of course no one replies. When it gets to the afternoon, finally people gradually start to reply "Are you okay?" I reply "I've been texting people all morning. I'm lonely."

At those times I think, "Maybe this is what the battlefield is like." They say people who survived the war and came home, go back to the battlefield. They can't psychologically accept everyday life and feel a sense of emptiness. No one wants to drink any more, and it's not that I want to drink either, but I understand the feeling of wanting to return to an extreme situation. Though people will probably call me strange for thinking things like that (laughs)"

But, when I went on hiatus due to my health issues, I became unable to handle alcohol. I couldn’t drink 5 or 6 bottles of tequila like I used to. On my previous birthday, I only drank about 3.

At the end of last year, in an interview with this magazine, GACKT spoke of writing a will during his one year hiatus. It seems that ahead of turning 50 he had an opportunity to think about his end-of-life plans.

I wrote about 20 wills. Saying things like, "Divide my fortune like this, sell my cars". I wrote about leaving my pet dogs in the care of my sister and my staff, that kind of thing.

I've also told my sister about my burial. I said, "Scatter my ashes in the sea in Okinawa." I don't need a grave. I've never wanted one. I don't want people to visit my grave. It's enough if people will look at the sea and clasp their hands in prayer. I thought about this when buying graves for relatives and things like that. I don't want to be in a grave.

Every year I go back to Okinawa and clean my family's tomb. That's become my role now. I bring at least 20 to 30 staff and clean the graves.

I've been helping clean the graves since my late 20s, but everyone else in my family got old and couldn't do it any more.

Okinawan tombs are big in the first place. Ours is in the mountains, and was rebuilt because it was old, but it's still the size of this studio (where today's photo was taken).

It used to be bigger. I remember when I was 6. We'd go through the sugar cane fields in a car, and then walk the paths between the fields into the mountains, so it was a hard time even getting there. Moss and weeds would grow on the big tomb, and we had to clean off all the dirt too. We tried to go at times when habu (Okinawan pit vipers) wouldn’t come out.

There was an altar as well as the tomb, and the altar and the tomb are in different parts of Okinawa. My ancestors originated in the southern part of Okinawa. So the tomb is in the south, and because my great grandfather founded a town up north, the altar is in the north. So it's not possible to clean the tomb and the altar on a day trip. At the very beginning I went in a group of 6 people, but we couldn't finish and it took two and a half days just to clean the tomb.

I don't want the generation after me to have to do unpleasant things like that. If people have to keep organizing things every year after I die, that will be tough on them, right?

So scatter my ashes. I'll be happy if people come to the sea and I can say "I'm here". And if eventually people stop coming, it won't cause trouble for anyone.

[alvallah]

What was the worst date you ever went on?

Girl [gender neutral]. Fourth of July. This year of our Lord, 2023.

Boy is kinda hard to nail down with his schedule, which is fine. Shit happens. He’s open on the 4th though, and the 4th is supposed to be beautiful anyways so I’m like okay cool, but I have a paddle scheduled with my friends during the day, is dinner in the evening cool? And he says yeah. I tell him it’s a federal holiday though so you might wanna call a couple places while I’m out just to see what everyone’s hours are, and I agreed to pick him up and drive since he’s fresh from LA and doesn’t have a car (also fine, idc).

Boy doesn’t answer me like all day. Evening comes. I ask him what’s up. He says “why don’t we just meet at my place and I can cook us something”. I’m not an idiot. Dude just wants a fuck and I don’t do that on the first date anymore because I’m grown and I’m tired and I don’t wanna give pussy to just anybody, even if it’s casual. I gotta know I at least like you. I tell him this, and I tell him I prefer to meet in a public place at a restaurant before I agree to more intimate dates. He says okay. But he hasn’t called any places. It’s 8:00 PM. On a federal holiday.

On my way to get him (which is like a 30 minute drive, annoying but also normal where I live), he texts me “we can choose a place when you get here” 🙄. I get there. We sit in my car for like 15 mins while he goes through a list of like 6 different places. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since noon. I’m hangry. He suggests we walk around the downtown and drop in someplace. We do that. We are refused at two places that are closing. We’re still walking around an EMPTY downtown on a HOLIDAY while I’m STARVING and other couples are probably hanging out watching fireworks and shit. He’s trying to butter me up by telling me how pretty I look and shit but I’m avoiding eye contact and giving one word answers.

I tell him I’m starving. I will eat anything at this point. The only place open is some gas station pizza place. It’s 10 PM now. Dude spends a lot of the time bantering with the pizza people while I’m silently waiting to get food in my mouth. He pays for everything (as he fucking should at this point) and we sit down. He gets up because he forgot napkins. Chats up the girl outside for a couple mins ??? He comes back. We’re talking. He answers a phone call in the middle of a conversation to talk with his boy, he mentions he has a date but he’s like ignoring me anyways and keeps talking on the phone ??? He finally hangs up and doesn’t even apologize. And as we’re talking I learn that he’s petty and always feels the need to resort to “eye-for-an-eye” when it comes to conflict. And he slaps his animals.

I drive him back to his house and fucker tries to kiss me and I SWERVE the kiss so hard lmao he texts me the next day asking for another date and I say no and he acts surprised. Bruh. I didn’t get home until like 1 AM after everything and literally nothing went right and you couldn’t plan for shit and you’re a garbage and unprofessional human being. Fuck out of here.

[aisuigetsu]

a lil photo summary of my year (2023)

started my year at Harrah's Atlantic City. this was the second year i went to AC for my birthday! won some and lost some and won some back, net gain $300 ish? since i always go during new year's nothing's ever open... not a ton of food options and no strip clubs :(

in feb i went to seattle for the 4th time LMAO. this was the first time i flew since covid. it was raining every day but the clam chowder slapped

march i watched The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart at the McKittrick Hotel. during the last song everyone was having a great time and i was TEARING UP lol it was so beautiful.

went home and immediately wrote a letter to alan brown to watch it (since it was only showing for 8 weeks), not sure if he went tho

april went hiking at Catskill Giant Ledge. there were very few signs so we ended up walking at least 3 miles extra. it was so snowy and icy and i did not have hiking boots. not too bad going up but basically came down the whole way by sliding slowly on my butt

may i went to an airbnb in Long Island that i really liked. this time we got to go boating.

last time i went was when the pandemic first started calming down, and i felt a sudden urge to escape the city. i booked the train ticket and airbnb and left after work that night. after staying there for a day and a half, a group of girls also came to the house (owner rented out multiple homes) and i heard one of them talk abt my restaurant.... needless to say i bolted out of there even tho my stay wasn't finished

funny detail from this trip was i mentioned the sunrise is really beautiful here and we must see it. however for days in a row neither of us could get up, and finally on the last day i was like "i have to wake up" and i did at like 5:30. but i was soooooo tired so i took a picture of the sunrise and went back to sleep. we both woke up around noon and i was like "hah i knew you wouldn't be able to wake up so i took this picture for you" and HE HAD DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THING LMAOOO

june working through the air pollution woohoo

parents took me to Seven Lake Drive, it was really pretty and full of mosquitos

one day in july i randomly wanted to walk to brooklyn bridge from my apt in queens. when i have nothing to do i just wanna walk for really long distances

got covid for the first time and during my sick day i saw this girl on the rooftop of the building across. lowkey kinda worried abt her so i kept watching her and then she took a selfie LOL. stopped watching after that

august went to Mt. Taurus to watch the Perseid Meteor Shower. it was really clear during the day and started pouring as soon as it turned dark.

at like 2am me and my bf were just in the middle of nowhere (to avoid light pollution) in the car frantically searching up the satellite map to see when the clouds would pass and also the weather forecast for any rural areas within 100 miles. unfortunately it was raining EVERYWHERE for multiple days. better luck in 2024

then we went peach picking in NJ, not a ton of hard peaches left by this time

october we went to vermont for anniversary trip and he picked an "easy hike" to "see the foliage"

mountaintop view was like:

it was steep and cold and started raining on the way down. by the time we got back to the parking lot it was completely fucking dark. the entire way down i was looking for spots to camp in case we were stuck on the mountain...

high school classmate organized a Survivor themed camping trip. the bathrooms at this campsite were NASTY and i was on my period too 0/10. but it was a fun time and i got eliminated fifth

november in las vegas. loved it, lost 1.7k

came back to nyc and watched Un Ballo in Maschera. honestly kind of depressing cuz i couldn't just clap and cheer every 10 seconds like in the circus TT

[astrobiche]

Astro notes 9✨

I'm backk, Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. A placement can manifest in different ways and the entire chart matters 🦋

I also wanted to try out this new layout 👀 (credits to whoever came up with this idea and credits to the owners of these pictures, they are not mine)

• Gemini placements are amazing entertainers. They have a talent for spinning and weaving stories on a whim.

• This isn't talked about enough but the house where you have your sun can sometimes be an area of struggle, the sun always wants to shine brighter but there's only so much light it can consume itself to emit.

• Where you have your sun, jupiter and neptune are areas where you always feel "thirsty", where you wanna do more constantly.

• The ruler of the 4th in the 10th or the ruler of the 10th in the 4th could indicate having a parent who fulfilled both the role of the mom and the dad

• So many astrologers have venus - pluto! The fascination with the occult is amazing

• Earth moons have the "either my way or I do it myself" mindset more so than earth suns. They really have a problem with delegating because it irritates them when people do things the "wrong way" so they just be like "fine.. i'll do it myself" 💀 (in group projects earth moons can butt heads like crazyyy)

• Air moons and our commitment issues 🚶‍♀️ so many of us prefer the idea to the reality of it and we're often known for being unpredictable

• plenty of scorpio risings have the ability to read auras and sense energy its insane! Even if they dont have any placements known for being psychic like pisces or water placements (i know a cap sun taurus moon scorpio rising w almost no water in her chart/taurus stellium who can see auras)

•random but pisces and aquarius sun males love growing out their hair?

• if sags dont have a goal to pursue that theyre passionate about, they get depressed since fire symbolizes passion and energy and sag is respresented by an archer (aiming for something and moving around to get it)

• lilith in 4h is such a "breaking the cycle" placement, rebelling against one's roots and family to the point of being shamed by them. (Eg : both me and a friend of mine have this and we're nothing like our parents and families, our views on life, religion, etc.. are radically different from their traditional ones)

• scorpio risings tend to have a "contrasted" look to them. They can have vampire fair skin and extremely dark features/hair or dark skin and dye their hair blonde for example. Idk just something i noticed in people i know with this placement

• aquarius risings have thick long eyelashes/big eyes they're so pretty ! It's like there are stars in them 🥺

Mutable sun/dominance culture is saying "it depends" everytime people ask your opinion on complex topics 😭

•° Some nerdy facts °•

• So i was in a lecture and the professor explained that it was SCIENTIFICALLY proven that some cycles related to human behavior and even stocks follow ASTRONOMICAL CYCLES. If this doesnt prove astrology is real idk what will 😩

• March used to be the first month of the year back when there were only 10 months in ancient Rome. This explains why Aries is the first sign in the cycle!

In the same vein, August is named after a Augustus Ceasar, who named the month after himself 😳 no wonder it's associated with Leo! (The other months besides July - after Julius Ceasar- were named after numbers or gods/goddesses)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you think the polycule has any holiday traditions?

POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! YESSSSSSSSSS

that's actually a pretty interesting question because the polycule is very culturally diverse. like of course we have simon who's jewish, but the rest is kind of in a weird place. i'm pretty sure shadowhunters don't have holidays at all, and since clary was raised by a shadowhunter and a former shadowhunter, i'm pretty sure she would have been raised without any either? like maybe she'd celebrate the gregorian new year because you know, they have to pretend to be mundane after all, but i think that and birthdays were probably pretty much it for her. oh and halloween i guess which is also not religious-affiliated, are there any other holidays in the states? i guess there's the 4th of july and thanksgiving but both celebrate imperialism/colonialism and i don't want to write about that so i'm gonna pretend there aren't. plus i doubt shadowhunters celebrated those either

so ok we have izzy and clary with no holidays, we don't know whether or not maia is culturally christian and i don't wanna just say "yes" by default... and then there's meliorn whose holidays and traditions will be typical to seelie culture, which are gonna be... unique to them obviously. we don't know how they are celebrated, how long they last, what is the milestone, how or even IF they count time - like maybe they go by when a specific flower blooms and that only happens every 10 gregorian years or some shit. so that's a question mark i guess

and there's also the fact that the seelie realm is very politically closed which. i like to think changes once they get rid of the old queen! but it's still a slow process to just allow other people there. then again izzy was a shadowhunter and she used to hop by so it's probably not a huge deal for meliorn to bring their partners and metamours to seelie celebrations? or at least to the ones that aren't Super Sacred or anything. so like parties and dances and stuff like that? yeah. which i guess brings me back to the other "meta" i wrote about seelie dances (link) and what it would be like for the rest of the polycule to participate in those and shit

then... well obviously there's the gregorian new year which we have obviously just gone through (well, we had when i started answering this ask. it's march now so rip. update it's april now. i'm so sorry anon) so like! i think it was always kind of hell for both raphael and maia, autistic icons, because of all the explosion sounds that just made them feel really upset and feel really stupid for it. with raphael i think it was more bearable when he had rosa because she would spend the day with him and hug him and let him squeeze the stress out you know dauhdasuihda also she was always the one he felt the most comfortable stimming in front of. and then after he lost her it only got worse because on top of the fireworks there was the clear absence of rosa that he just FELT everywhere. you know?

and with maia there's the added trouble of her being AMAB and what with being raised to "black men" standarts of masculinity (to be clear, as in: due to racism black men are expected to be even more macho than white men, ESPECIALLY by nonblack ppl; not as in wow black ppl are so backwards or whatever. white ppl invented gender norms anyway so lmao), she was definitely shamed a lot for being so distressed by the fireworks when she was little methinks. we love that combination of transphobia, racism and ableism! so it was just hard and filled with bad memories. and then once she ran away from home it got marginally better without the constant telling her to "man up" and shit like that, but it still came with the added memories you know

and also with them (plus simon) being vampires/werewolves the hearing gets even more sensitive so that's... fun. meliorn realizes it stresses them out and makes up a special kind of spell that muffles their hearing of background noise, so they can feel more comfortable and for the first time there is not that added stress that comes with the new years and it feels so nice?? they even try watching the fireworks but it's kinda like eh, not that great, especially because even looking at them brings out memories you know doahdsaoh so instead meliorn shows them some magic and it's so much prettier with all the glowing lights and stuff, you know?

maybe after that the polycule starts spending the new years in the seelie realm instead, that'd be cute, just like. enjoying that pretty place with all the lights and shit. i think they would all prepare some kind of light show some way or another like using magic and witchlights and whatnot. that'd be cute

as for other holidays! i think their holiday traditions would start with simon's first yom kippur after he was able to eat solid foods again (shut up a potion WILL be created and i don't accept any other option). before that, with simon being unable to eat, he was also obviously unable to fast. he wouldn't feed during yom kippur but it's not like vampires need to drink blood every day so it's not really the same thing. and it felt particularly lonely that, besides being away from his family and community, he also couldn't fast

i mean obviously simon isn't the only jewish vampire in the world, or jewish downworlder for that matter, so i'm sure he makes jewish friends he would at least get together and pray with for yom kippur, and that's what matters the most, really, but being unable to fast when he wants to and also not being able to participate in the break-fast meal just. sucks djdnudhsus

and then he's able to eat and he can do all that again! but it's also kind of emotionally charged for all of the vampires to fast for the first time when for so long they associated not eating with feeling unhuman, you feel? so like it kind of hits all of them hard

so the polycule decides to make him a little surprise and cooks the break-fast meal for them. clary probably knows what simon and his family used to eat after yom kippur so they try to recreate that for him? and maia and raphael are lowkey nervous about it because they had never made stuff like noodle kugel before and while they could at least try it (yay potion!) they have no idea if it's tasting like it should, ya know what i mean? and it's kind of sweet that they are so worried about making this the best possible experience for simon and the closest to home it can get. and simon is super emotional about getting to eat that stuff for the first time, as well as the other vampires, so you know. it's very emotional all around. but in a good way? and i think after that it kind of becomes a tradition that they make him the break-fast meal after yom kippur too

and then the next years they lowkey fuss over him for the last meal before the fast too, which i'm not sure is something simon would do with other people so they would go ham, dude, particularly raphael because he is a worrier first and foremost. so catch his ass all lovingly planning a meal he can make with zero (0) salt whatsoever so simon doesn't get too thirsty during the fast for MONTHS, planning so he gets the most amount of sustenance, lots of fiber, etc., and simon is like "you know i don't even have to eat, right?" but rapha is just all "you know food still matters" and simon doesn't say anything because it does. it matters a lot

and raphael is all sweetly nervous because like... it is a simple meal, that is the point, but he still wants simon to enjoy it and simon can't stop smiling through the whole thing. raphael and the others also eat it with him too in solidarity before simon goes to the synagogue with his community and it's like a sweet send off you know?

also this is not exactly a celebration or a tradition for that matter but since YK is the day of forgiveness i like to think that eventually simon asks for raphael's forgiveness on YK for the whole rosa thing, and although that isn't religious for raphael, raphael asking for his forgiveness for how everything went down, too. and it's just a sweet moment where they leave this whole story behind and look for a better future - i imagine this happening before they get together, so again, it doesn't really count as an answer to your question, but i just thought i'd include it because i find it sweet

then after that there is sukkot and i just really loove the idea of them helping him build the sukkah (for those who don't know, the sukkah is a hut covered with vegetation under the open sky, where jewish ppl live in for the duration of the sukkot). i know that they could just buy a certified one but where is the fun in that when we could have shenanigans? also i think that that would have been part of simon's personal/family traditions because i bet him and becca loved to build the sukkah for their family. so like on that spirit it is a little sad that they can't help each other with that anymore since simon can't be seen by the rest of his family, but of course as soon as he mentions it and how fun it used to be the whole polycule is Immediately On Board. let's help simon build his sukkah!

first of all other than simon none of them have ever built a sukkah before and simon usually followed becca's lead tbh, also he's just not great to Lead And Control people in general, and the polycule is already messy as all fuck. so it's a disaster, especially with raphael and simon's superspeed and strength thrown into the mix, and meliorn's almost impossible to hold back mischievous nature. izzy is lowkey responsible for keeping them in check and okay now that i think about it clary might have helped simon's family build it before, especially when she was a kid because kids just love that shit, but i don't know if she would remember the steps tbh (read: she wouldn't remember the steps) so yeah all in all the sukkah falls down more often than not and they might have to replace a few materials when simon and raphael accidentally snap their bamboo poles in half. rip

meliorn is probably all like "you are all weak and pathetic, i am a seelie, i can literally control living things. simon needs a vegetable covering? watch me get all the nearby trees to form a beautiful roof" and simon is like "actually the sechach cannot be alive" and meliorn slowly dies because they have no power over dead nature. also simon forbids magic usage in general because this needs to be an authentic building experience for him, so meliorn is left as the most useless one since they only have experience building these things using magic and the help of the trees or whatever

also i bet they would love to go EXTREMELY hard on the lights and decorations. i know that hassidic and to my understanding general orthodox jewish communities don't decorate the sukkah but i don't hc simon as part of those communities so i think he would want to decorate the sukkah. like even if it isn't fully covered in decorations, he would want what few he has to be well done, you know what i mean? like he would want to make the holiday posters himself (i dont know if it would be appropriate for clary to help make these but if it would, she totally would and i like the idea of simon giving her a very specific prompt to make the posters and clary doing it for him, you know? and maybe them all helping paint it with colorful themes), making decorations, and okay, at the very least fairy lightning? please? come on. it's another whole ass dramatic experience to get electricity in there so that's fun for sure, but i think meliorn and maia in particular would be all over the idea of making a pretty lightning system, and simon is definitely not gonna complain because he loves pretty things and the idea sounds rad. raphael smiles fondly through it all and basically saves the day by being the only one with organizational skills who is actually able to help them make a working plan for the sukkah

(catch these idiots making a blueprint. TRY and tell me they wouldn't)

(every year they make a new blueprint and the sukkah has different designs and proportions - always following the requirements like having four at least 32 inches tall walls, of course - and they start completely anew. the sechach must always be new but not the general structure, but they redo the structure anyway because again, it's fun)

and then of course they have meals together in the sukkah for the duration of sukkot and just idk i really dig the idea of the lot of them holding trays of food wearing oven mitts as they get inside and turn on the lights and it feels really nice and sweet you know? and then of course promptly turns kind of messy because it's their way but that's what they want. also, at least once a year they manage to sneak becca in for a meal with simon in the sukkah and they are just both so happy and aaaaa :')

and that's how "kidnapping" becca so she can see simon and his sukkah becomes another tradition lmao. they do it in the most dramatic full of flair way they possibly can while still not being found out and then promptly tell simon all about it in the most dramatic and exaggerated retelling during the meal, which always makes both simon and becca laugh (reality: becca just told her parents she would be off for a few hours to do some school thing or something and then they picked her up and she got a superspeed piggyback ride so she and simon wouldn't miss a minute. their story: "it all began with a carefully planted lie,")

there's also pesach which many (reform) jewish friends of mine have told me they like to do with goyim because the whole point of that holiday is to welcome strangers and share jewish history, so i think simon would like to do that as well. so yeah i think simon would enjoy having them with him during the Pesach Seder - again i think simon would want to be with his other jewish friends but it would be fun because they all could bring their pet goyim that they know would be respectful and nice to have around, run the Seder, and celebrate with them. also for their first one i think simon would have gotten excited about explaining the order/15 steps to them, so like cue lots of fond looks as simon tells them everything about it, how this is the first time he'll be able to have the feast, the four cups of wine, and how he's excited even to have the bitter herbs again. and then over the years they all become pretty much used to the 15 steps, they come naturally, they know what to expect, they already know the story of the Exodus after retelling it every year, and it's nice both when it's new and he gets to share and when it starts to be something in their element because it became their tradition and they want to be there with simon for the holidays, you know what i mean?

then there's purim!!!!!!!! god they would sure have so much fun on purim it gets me really excited to think about. purim might be the one that they get to participate the most in from what i've seen, and i have lots of thoughts about it, like:

first of all, making hamantaschen!! they each make a batch with a different stuffing and it's lowkey a competition and lowkey a surprise and as always with cooking together it is very fun and homey. and also kind of silly as they usually are, but purim is a holiday that is kind of supposed to be silly and for ppl to let go so it matches that mood, you know what i mean? like they're all covered in flour and "stop trying to LOOK at what i'm making!" and blind testing and stuff

then, food gifts! so from what i've seen it is preferable that the food gifts jewish ppl send each other on purim are sent by a third party, which is usually a kid, but they don't know many kids and i really like the idea of the polycule serving as simon's messengers for the day lmao. going everywhere round the shadow world and beyond ("hey mel since you can portal i have this friend in argentina-") and then bringing him the other gifts people send simon in return :)

dressing up in costumes! there is absolutely no way simon doesn't dress up for purim and the whole polycule is absolutely dragged into it, including an absolutely reluctant raphael. it quickly becomes a tradition tho that they change costumes every year and try to make them funnier and more outrageous (as you do) as time goes by. trust the polycule to turn pretty much everything into a competition. and simon always laughs with so much glee and joy when he gets to see what everyone dresses up as so really, how could they say no?

(maia "wins", like, every year. she is totally huge on costumes and her and simon are very attuned in that sense, so, you know. catch her dressing up as memes and just generally making the most creative costumes. she may or may not think them months and months ahead of time)

maybe they hold purim meals with particularly themed costumes every once in a while when they want to spice it up, but i think generally it's more of a freestyle thing

simon also loves reading the purim torah tbh, it's just fun. and then of course there's the megillah and booing when haman's name is mentioned. they are all banned from using graggers because half of them have superstrength and the other half doesn't technically have superstrength but is still super strong and they destroyed the poor thing on accident after the first ten seconds when they tried

food yay! and the very long meal. they usually get pretty drunk, tbh, at least the ones that can. and just generally i think it's one of their favorite celebrations to do together and more often than not ends in them all curled up together in the couch so u know, that's sweet uwu

and then of course rosh hashanah, which is the holiest joyous day in jewish tradition, so of course it's a huge deal for them all. and i just think they would all be super excited about making the evening (especially the meal ofc) the most incredible for simon it could possibly be. again i think simon would want to spend it with his downworlder jewish friends and community, and they probably have their own synagogue they go to together and everything, so obviously they are all involved in making preparations for rosh hashanah, but i like to think the polcyule and simon's friends' pet goyim would help with what they can as well (provided it's not something that should be done by a jewish person like baking the challah; but if not with cooking, they would at least want to help with stuff like decorations and the like. honestly i imagine all of simon's partners sitting together very seriously with a paper in front of them writing down all the stuff they can do to help with rosh hashanah preparations and everything. especially once they learn that like being happy/joyous is a mitzvah so they're just like "we want to make u as happy as possible then :)" and it's sweet and simon may or may not tear up a little)

and then we have other holidays that aren't associated with religion like halloween, which was kind of implied to be the official downworld holiday, so i'm pretty sure they go big on that too. not dressing up because again, one day where they can all afford to be themselves, but definitely meeting up at the hunter's moon, getting spectacularly drunk, roasting the mundane's costumes, and then once they get back to whichever of them's homes, watching some shitty movies and throwing stuff at the screen together

i'm on the fence about día de muertos. i know it's not exactly a sad holiday but i feel like it is for raphael because it kind of represents everything he's lost - his culture and his family, and he can't even go to the parade during the day, you know, although i'm not sure that would have been his thing, but i do think he would have loved to watch the arrival of the monarchs when he was a kid but he'd have to be in méxico for that. and particularly after he lost rosa i just feel like it would have been so emotionally charged for him, you know? he would definitely make her an altar every year and it would be just... big and well thought-out and something really emotional and important for him, welcoming his little sister back the best he can. and i feel like that's something he'd want to do alone because my boy loves to punish himself

but there are little things i think they would have wanted to do with him, and that they might push a little to be able to, like being with him while he eats by the altar and hearing him tell stories about rosita. and i think they would help him "undo" (?) the altar once día de muertos is over, which is always extra emotional for him and aaa. and then the next day they kind of just get to be with him and cuddle a little bit as he recovers emotionally, you know?

also it has just occured to me that raphael is christian shit fuck fart bitch cock. so okay i guess that puts xmas and easter somewhat on the map? again mostly for food. us latinos celebrate xmas on the eve, not on xmas day, and raphael is totally the insufferable xmas meal obsessed bitch who's on the kitchen all day and refuses to let anyone help (he can't pull that particular stunt for the meals they have for simon's holidays obviously but he can on xmas soo). but it's worth it because it is always a great one. and he also gives a lot of thought into getting everyone presents so that is sweet and it earns him lots of kisses on the cheek and stuff. and that's pretty much it for latino xmas, we don't really do stuff i'm still not convinced gringos haven't made up like the socks and the eggnog and xmas music (????) so it's more lowkey. and i think raphael would keep the more religious aspects of it to the stuff he does at church (again, there are downworlder religious communities idk what to tell u) and for the nursery home. which is not to say that like... oh wow xmas is totally not a xtian holiday! or whatever, just that the version the polycule does is more lowkey on the religious aspects and the things they do together on that day are more about being together with raphael on a day that matters to him, you know, especially since again, he is the only xtian and that's gonna be a sensitive thing for simon especially

and i think for easter it is mostly something they do to shower maia in sweets lmao. again she misses chocolate and i'm sure they spend a lot of their time trying to figure out how to get around that, either be by like trying to make special chocolate that doesn't make her sick or sweets that really really resemble chocolate or that are so good she doesn't even mind that she can't eat chocolate anymore. so that's their tradition for easter (and raphael goes to church ofc)

oh yeah and i forgot valentine's day! i have this funny little idea just for the shits where they have this little thing where they setup one-on-one dates for all the parts that are actually together and each of them lasts, like, 10 minutes (poor maia who dates everyone is just running around town) and it's more about the fun of running around from one day to the other like this is a bad romcom where some bastard is trying to juggle having two (monog) girlfriends at once. but then they actually get all together at the end of the day and trade presents and funny cards both among their dates and metamours ("roses are red, violets are blue, you're my girlfriend's girlfriend, and i love you platonically"). usually ending up with them drunk and debating how exactly they got to this overly complicated arrangement and trying to figure out the best way to explain this to an outsider and trying to make, like, fluxograms that explain all of their different relationships visually and they all look so messy it just leaves them more confused lmao. so yeah it's fun

and i think that's all i've got? i say, as if this answer isn't longer than anyone will have the time to read and took me over 4 months to write. but anyway

a special thanks to "a group where non-jews can ask questions about judaism and jews can answer" on facebook and all my jewish friends for helping me write about the jewish holidays and customs. i also used the following sources: Rosh Hashanah (link), how to build the sukkah (link), more on the sukkah (link), how to celebrate purim (link), more on purim (link), how to celebrate passover (link), what is a passover seder like (link), laws of yom tov (link), yom kippur (link), what to eat before and after yom kippur (link), a classic yom kippur breakfast menu (link), menus for the pre yom kippur meal (link). if there's anything inaccurate or disrespectful, however, please let me know, and feel free to add more ideas as well if you're jewish :)

[ygo5dsmonth2020]

YU-GI-OH! 5DS MONTH 2020

We’re back! It’s that time of the year! The mods are excited to announce this year’s themes for YU-GI-OH! 5DS MONTH 2020. 

Bored during quarantine? Say no more. We hope you join in this year!

Day 1 (July 7th): Stardust Acceleration

Accelerate! We’re kicking off into overdrive by starting this month off with our hero of the hour! Rev it up by showing us how YOU celebrate Yusei Fudo’s birthday!  

Day 2 (July 8th): Sink or Sail

As good captains, we all have a ship we’d set sail on. Which is yours?

Day 3 (July 9th): Story to Story

Our tale begins with a fast-paced story that takes us through the city’s tournament with the Fortune Cup, the Satellite’s peril with the Dark Signer’s, to Crash Town, to once again Neo Domino City’s action with the World Racing Grand Prix to the conclusion with the Ark Cradle. Which arc was your favorite?

Day 4 (July 10th): Songs to Fix a D-Wheel To

Let the music play! Do you have a playlist you wanna share? It can be for a character, a ship, an overall arc, or a fanfiction! Come on Eileen, show us what you got!

Day 5 (July 11th): Bloom of the Black Rose

Pitch dark flower, set to bloom! Today we celebrate the Black Rose, Aki Izayoi! How will you choose to celebrate our loyal psychic?

Day 6 (July 12th): As Above, So Below

Heaven or hell. Signers or Dark Signers. The Crimson Dragon vs the Earthbound Immortals. Whose side are you on?

Day 7 (July 13th): This Town Ain’t Big Enough

Yeehaw! Bring out your ponchos, set your guns to duel, and show us what all Satisfaction Town has to bring? Is it a character? The city itself? A duel? Satisfy us!

Day 8 (July 14th): Power Play

Further Turbo Dueling King, the Master of Faster, lover of ramen, and one hell of a (jack)ass. Today we’re celebrating the King Himself: Jack Atlas!

Day 9 (July 15th): Fly Your Colors

The World Racing Grand Prix! Today is all about Teams, whether it be Team 5ds, Team Unicorn, or even somewhere out of the WRGP- Like Team Satisfaction! Which Team are you on?

Day 10 (July 16th): Free Day I/Introduction Day

Our first free day! Use this day to either introduce yourself to the crowd or feel free to leave it open! It’s up to you!

Day 11 (July 17th): Fly, Blackbird!

This Satellite bird is our man of the hour! Our favorite hardworking, lovable, mother hen for kids, and unbeatable duelist, but what else is there? Show us! Give your love for Crow Hogan!

Day 12 (July 18th): Star-Crossed Lovers

Have you ever wanted to see the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh 5ds paired up with someone from another show entirely? Wanna see Yusei Fudo in a relationship with Dawn from Pokemon? Now’s your chance! Anything is possible today!

Day 13 (July 19th): Flip the Script

We all have a favorite alternative universe we’d like to see Team 5ds in. Whether it be a coffee shop, college, or maybe even a glimpse of the timeline Z-ONE came from! Anything is on the table for this day!

Day 14 (July 20th): Words Have Power

Like the Heart of the Cards, there are many signature catchphrases within the world of 5ds. What’s your favorite quote?

Day 15 (July 21st): Spirit World Walker

The holy light of protection, now cross and become eternal life! She may be small, but she sure is mighty! Bow down to the protector of the Spirit World- Rua/Luna! Today’s day is all about her!

Day 16 (July 22nd): Me and My OC

Most of us out there think of an original character to place into the world of 5ds. For many of us, it’s the start of friendships, self-journeys, or just fun and self-exploration into another world! Show us your OC today!

Day 17 (July 23rd): Polar Opposites

The modern-day story of light vs dark. A tale of contrasts. Ying-Yang. What two opposites do you want to showcase?

Day 18 (July 24th): Heart of the Dragon

Envoy of love and justice! This energetic machinist has as big of a punch as his heart! Today is all about Rua/Leo!

Day 19 (July 25th): Flex Your Canon

We all have our different headcanons about the characters or story. What are yours? It can be anything from changing canon to implementing your own ideas!

Day 20 (July 26th): Free Day II/Support Fellow Creators

Our second free day! You can use this day to submit whatever you wish, or you can shout out your favorite artist, fanfiction author, or just your favorite character! Give someone else some well-deserved love.

Day 21 (July 27th). Spin the Wheel, Throw a Dart

Story tropes! This could be anything from a day on the beach, a sleepover episode, or anything in between! What trope do you wish to see in the world of Yu-Gi-Oh 5ds?

Day 22 (July 28th): Tech Genius

The android with a supercomputer for a brain, Bruno stole our hearts as Antimony and continued until the bitter end. Today’s day is all about Bruno!

Day 23 (July 29th): Bad Guy Syndrome

The series had its swarm of enemies: whether it be Divine, Ruder/Roman, Rex, or Z-ONE. Which is your favorite?

Day 24 (July 30th): We’re Here Too!

Out of all the characters in the entire series, who do you feel is under-appreciated, or deserves more attention? Show us!

Day 25 (July 31st): Dead Guy Walking

Former Dark Signer, leader of Team Satisfaction/The Enforcers, and a brooding man looking for some satisfaction. Today’s day is all about Kalin Kessler/Kyosuke Kiryu!

Day 26 (August 1st): In the Z-ONE

Z-ONE is the man behind the madness. What kind of man do you think he is? A man trying to save the world, or destroy it? Tell us!

Day 27 (August 2nd): Pain vs Puff Pieces

Angst vs Fluff. Do you prefer a fairytale ending or a bittersweet tragedy? Pick one and show off!

Day 28 (August 3rd): Tale of Two Stories

We now have seven Yu-Gi-Oh series! What would happen if one of our heroes from Team 5ds happened to meet someone from the past, or perhaps the future? Whether you prefer to rev it up, high five the sky, or get your game on, show us what you got!

Day 29 (August 4th): You Can See Them Too?

The world of the Duel Monsters is filled to the brim with spirits. Showcase either your favorite duel monster or a moment within the Spirit World!

Day 30 (August 5th): Free Day III

Our last free day! Share with us anything your heart desires!

Day 31 (August 6th): Going My Way!

Today is the last day, but we still have the road to tomorrow. What does the future hold?

[terracyte]

thank you @hi-raethia for tagging me!! ily kai <33

answer 30 questions and tag 20 people

1. name/nickname: hey its me, ya boi, terra (my first ever internet friend called me that after they forgot my actual name and i never looked back <3)

2. gender: female

3. star sign: cancer

4. height: haven’t checked but i cant be taller than 5′3

5. time: 11:52 pm

6. birthday: july 4th (no cake or fireworks, only specialty fried rice)

7. favorite bands/ groups: the score, neoni, neffex, caravan palace

8. favorite solo artist: forrest, takayan, khai dreams, potsu, snail’s house, yeah i have exactly one vibe what about it

9. song stuck in my head: all of them and constantly

10: last movie: finally finished my lotr binge, the return of the king was amazing as always

11. last show: fma:b babyyy

12. when did i create this blog: created maybe 4 years to reblog cool art, i still do that now but recently started sprinkling my own mediocre stuff in there 

13. what do i post: atla art/ writing, and stuff that makes me go :) or :”)

14. last thing i googled: “why are hong kong pineapple buns called that if they have no pineapple” 

15. other blogs: none! this is an all in one :V

16. do i get asks: not too many but i would love to get more! :)

17. why did i choose this url: its based off my initials, i keysmashed until i got something halfway pronounceable and here we are :)

18. following: 200 or so

19. followers: recently hit round 250, i have no idea why but i treasure you all greatly

20: average hours of sleep: 6-7 

21: lucky number: always vibed with 3

22. instruments: piano, clarinet, violin, kalimba, and if i try super hard i can kinda play the harmonica

23. what am i wearing: sweatshirt and sweatpants even though i am never sweating

24. dream job: architect maybe, but thats pretty ambitious huh

25. dream trip: i just wanna move to canada, get me outta here

26:  favorite food: gonna have to say hong kong style borscht

27. nationality: chinese american, or as my family so lovingly puts it, a banana

28. favorite song: can't choose, my music taste is like a roulette wheel

29. last book read: come on now you cant expect me to remember 

30. 3 fictional universes you’d like to live in: atla verse, middle earth (oh to be a hobbit in the shire with no responsibilities but my farm), as long as it isn’t a dystopian young adult novel i will go

i’ll tag @gracedbill @theyweretooyoung @zukosaturtle-duck @marriedzukka @huanism @paintedpatroclus @japanese @haiyah if any of you would like to! dont feel obligated and feel free to ignore :) and anyone else who wants to, please feel free! 

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[everarri]

Tagged!

I was tagged by @lando-disasterchild for this! Thanks my friend

Do you make your bed?: Here we go... yes but also no. sometimes i make the bed, sometimes i go 3 days straight just with sheets, sometimes i don’t even undo the bed, just sleep over the duvet life is short sleep the way you want.

What’s your favourite number?: I keep saying 6 is my lucky number but i’m sure that’s not working

What’s your job?: Currently unemployed, but i’m studying for a public job spot as an administrative assistant, the test is in june/july and there is only one spot so.. not stressed at all... Not really what i want to be doing bur pays ok

Can you parallel park?: How can i put this, i don’t know how to park.. my brain only knows stop car and go car (at least now i can change gears AND make a turn at the same time)

A job you’ve had which would surprise people?: I always worked in the health department like hospitals and doctors offices... My first job was a summer job selling school supplies if that helps

Do you think aliens are real?: HELL YES 

Can you drive a manual?: ......yes?.... is manual cars not a thing like everywhere? Do you guys get your license with an AUTOMATIC car? Where do you people live? unless u rich u be fucked in brazil...

What’s your guilty pleasure?: 80′s music?

Tattoos?: I only have one at the moment (the harry potter deathly hallows on the side of my wrist) but i do wanna get my blood type tattooed on my finger, and my star sign on another finger, and a cat face on my forearm but who has the money for all that?

Favourite colour?: Pink and royal blue

Things people do that drive you crazy?: mostly everything, but something that gets me right on satans throne is ungrateful people... like if somebody do them a favor or a job they act super entitled and arrogant like can’t you just be nice to someone for once in your life. the worst is when you point out their bad behavior and they FLIP OUT... omg i just described my mother, fun!

Any phobias?: PUBLIC SPEAKING (i do it, i shake, and after is done i run to the bathroom to vomit)

Favourite childhood sport?: Since dear old mommy didn’t wanted me with ‘a boys body’ i didn’t took interest into any sports really... i wanted to do gymnastics but that would ‘make you body bigger and you’d be shorter than you already are, i did you a favor’ so idk uno counts??

Do you talk to yourself?: Yes, all the time.

What movies do you adore?: And that phrase made me forget every movie i have ever watched. I like nerdy films like marvel, star wars etc. but also romances but not to romantic like a medium romance when they don’t make the girl stupid but also makes me want to cry because i’m over 20 and never had a relationship and that makes me feel alone and like shit. also White Chicks (i prob watched this movie around 10 times)

Do you like puzzles?: Love them but get frustrated very fast

Favourite kind of music?: my music taste goes from the cheesiest disney princess song ever to death metal, if like it i listen

Tea or coffee?: I do like some sweet sweet tea, i don’t drink coffe very often, i prefer to kill my body with energy drinks (it doesn’t work also i took 10 cups of red bull in rock in rio and slept for 12 hours after that)

What’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?: Astronaut!!!! your girl wanted to be yeeted out of this planet since day 1, no one asked but now i want to be a nurse specialized in obstetrics, psychiatry or  forensics (i’ll figure it out till 4th year of college)

So that was part of the mess that i so call life, i pass down the torch to you now...

I now tag: @landoavocado / @nxenterprise / @yeeeeesssssbbooyyyss / @challelerc-supermax and @messymindmessyblog

[purplesurveys]

807

Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? No, that sounds awful. I had so many kids laugh at me because of my name when I was younger, so I’ve learned better than to do that. If I come across a weird name I’m more likely to judge the parents than the kid themselves. Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? It’s not just celebrities who do these; they’re just famous so they get all the attention. Generally though I really don’t know why more and more people have been choosing to give their kids odd names. X Æ A-Xii in particular stresses me outtttttttttt PLEASE LOVE YOUR CHILD If you have a problem with someone, will you confront them? Depends on who it is and how big/personal my problem is with them. I won’t always confront someone; sometimes it’s best to act like you don’t care. How do you like your tea? (: Iced, lemonade, and with a lot of sugar. Do you get car sick easily? No, only if I do something to induce motion sickness like reading or texting.

What did you want to be when you were a kid? The earliest occupations I wanted to have were firefighter, astronaut, and a veterinarian. When I got a little older I wanted to become an author. Insert funny memory here:  My favorite story to hear from my friends was when my org had a get-together shortly after we got new officers elected (myself included), and when I got drunk enough I was apparently announcing the suspensions of newly-inducted orgmates I was yet to know more, effective immediately loooool. It was part of my ~powers so I guess that’s why I spent nearly the whole evening doing that. I made sure to apologize to those people the day after. :(( Do you think you're a good conversationalist? Why is that? Yes, when it comes down to it. I pride myself on being a good listener – pair this with the fact that I’ve also learned to ask good questions through the years as a journalism student – so this ability usually includes being able to catch on to the little details they say. From there, I’m able to ask them questions I know they’d love to answer. My trick in conversations is to just have people talk about the things or hobbies they love, because time usually flies by then. Are you more likely to be called a hard worker or lazy? Hard worker. What is your sense of humour like? It’s pretty flexible. I can laugh at kiddie jokes, dark jokes as long as they are not blatantly offensive and harmful, and at the same time I can laugh at dank memes that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.   Do you think you're fairly intelligent? In what way? Yeah, but it’s book smarts more than anything else. I like reading and racking up new knowledge, memorizing things, acing tests, etc. I don’t consider myself street smart at all sadly lol, and I’m still super dependent on other people when it comes to crossing the road, commuting (if I have to), bargaining, etc. How do you like your eggs? Poached or scrambled. Do you enjoy visiting your relatives? I look forward to the food being served more than anything else, because Filipino family reunions don’t fuck around when it comes to the preparations haha. Other than that, I’m always a bit wary when visiting family because Filipino relatives also tend to come up with the worst introductory statements: “You’ve gotten so fat,” “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?” and “I don’t like what you’re posting on Facebook” are just starters. What's your favourite thing about the nearest upcoming holiday? That would be Independence Day, and I like that it’s solely ours. Our independence day used to be on July 4th to be the same as America’s, but a past president changed it to June 12th so we can instead commemmorate the day we gained independence from Spain, instead of sharing our independence day with a colonizer. Have you ever been on a float in a parade? What were you doing on it? No, I haven’t. Have you ever had a strange compliment? What was it? I’ve probably gotten one or two of them but I don’t keep comments like those in my memory, so there’s a very good chance I’ve forgotten all about them. When was the last time you had deja vu? I don’t really remember exactly when but it was sometime within the last week. Have you ever had a dream in black and white? I don’t think so. I’d remember it if I have. What about a dream with no sound? Nope. What is something you find interesting but would never pursue as a career? Astronaut. It’s such an awesome job and I look up to everyone who does it, but for me it’ll always stay as a fantasy career. I’m simply not good enough at science to understand how stuff in space works; plus I get dizzy extremely easily and that’s not gonna work well for me when it’s time to board the spaceship lol. What types of people do you tend to avoid? Racists, homophobes, and fanatical Catholics. What is one personality trait a potential friend must have? They must have an introverted side. I can’t deal with people who are super active 24/7. Have you ever seen someone slip on a banana peel? Nope, I’ve only mostly seen that happen in Mario Kart hah. Have you ever been in a helicopter? I have not. What is a colour you love that's not your favourite? Maroon. Where would you like to travel to? Anywhere outside the house would be a great start. I’d love to get to go inside a mall, any mall. What colour is your car? / What colour would you like it to be? My car is white, and I’m happy with it being white. It looks clean and sleek that way, for me. Does anything hurt on your body right now? What? No but I’m feeling a little hot. I need a shower. What is your favourite mode of travelling? Road trip or by plane. Have you ever had Chickenpox? I haven’t. Dreading the day it comes to me because I just know it’ll be a million times worse as an adult. Can you roll your eyes into the back of your head? I can but it’s very uncomfortable and I don’t do it at all. I only did it often as a kid, whenever I wanted to scare off my sister or make funny faces with my cousins. If you have online friends, do you think you'd get on in real life? Yes, I think so. I’ve only had one negative experience with an online friend who turned out to be a dipshit, but I like to keep optimistic when it comes to my other friends.  Who is your favourite animated character? Answered this in another survey, but Spongebob. I also took a big liking to Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman since he was the only one who kept me happy throughout the show hahahaha. Are your favourites often what the majority like? Like, in relation to my above answers? I know a lot of people didn’t really like Mr. Peanutbutter because he was horrible at reading Diane’s love language and due to his tendency to mask reality with humor and general immaturity, so there’s that. Spongebob is pretty much universally loved by everyone who has seen the show, though. If you could have anything for dinner tonight, what would you choose? I did have dinner already and I was very happy with the sisig my dad made. I would have had it with soju, but I already drank coffee today and with my body just finishing up healing itself from my awful fever last week, I don’t wanna beat up my body by mixing coffee and alcohol immediately lol. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? Savory. Do you worry about eating too much? What about eating too little? I don’t really worry about either. I find that I eat a healthy amount of food for all my meals, so there’s little reason to overanalyze that department. Is it dark outside right now? Yes, it’s 10:30 PM. The moon has an interesting haze around it at the moment that makes it hard to miss, but otherwise it’s very dark. Do you get scared when it's a full moon? No. Do you think Jaffa Cakes are a cake or a biscuit? xP I don’t even know what those are and I’m too lazy to check. If you go anywhere, do you always buy souvenirs for people? Nah, just for Gab. What was the last toy you got in a cereal box? I don’t know, I don’t remember. The last time there was a toy in a cereal box we bought would probably be like 16 years ago lol. Hypothetically speaking, if you owned a charm bracelet, would you always make sure the charms meant something to you? Not really. I imagine I’d get charms just because I want to collect them lol. I know Pandora does a lot of charm collections, like Disney and Harry Potter. It doesn’t always have to mean something to me. Are you waiting on anyone coming home right now? No. Everyone living here is home now. Is it easy to make you gag? Nope. I watch pro wrestling dude, I’ve seen lots of disgusting stuff go down. It’ll take a lot before I gag. Do you like the way your voice sounds? Yes, I’m alright with it for the most part. Do you usually keep to yourself? This is pretty vague. You mean about my personal life? I’d say so. I normally would keep to myself but I’m also an open book, if that makes sense. Like I’m okay with spilling out my stories or emotions, but people have to come to me and ask for them; otherwise I’m just staying quiet. Can you see the stars from your house? Sure. Sky looks best when you’re at the rooftop though. How would you react if your favourite band made a song with your first name as its title? It would be on repeat for like three months lol. What is a word or phrase you've been told you overuse? It’s been years but a prof once told me I used “okay, so...” a lot as a transition when I report. I appreciated the comment though and since that time I’ve been more watchful of the phrases I use when I report. Are you considered an awkward person? I have my times, yeah. I’ve gotten considerably better in dealing with people though and usually it’s them that’s awkward now, not me lol. Has a career advisor ever helped you choose your ideal career? No, I’ve never met up with a career advisor before. If you were abandoned for a week, would you be able to fend for yourself? Yes, as long as instant food and some basic frozen food are accessible to me ahuhu. Is there a light on in the room you're in? Yes. Have you ever been friends with someone who was your complete opposite? YES, Gabie and I cannot be any more different. Sometimes I still wonder how she and I ended up being friends at all, but I chalk it up to our humor and the way our (very different) personalities manage to mesh well together. Have you ever wished you were an identical twin? If one, do you hate it? Not really. What day were you born on? Tuesday. What's your favourite number? Why did you pick that? I never really had a favorite number. Whenever I have to pick one I just say 4 just because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite and she uses it on literally every concert, show, etc. so I’ve come to encounter it a lot as well lol. What does your favourite perfume / deodorant smell like? A little fruity. Who's your favourite Disney character? Flynn Rider. Do you like having a favourite everything or do you enjoy keeping open? I like having a favorite everything but I also like keeping my options open just in case I ever wanna shift favorites. What's your favourite advertisment? Or do you find them all irritating? I don’t pick ads to be my favorite lol. They’re not irritating, but I just don’t particularly care about any of them.

[scribble-skull-rat]

any or all of the personal asks!

Ima answer all of them!

1. Any scars?

Several! I have scratch marks on my stomach from when my skin was really sensitive and i scratched too hard, i have a few self harm scars, i have a scar next to my eye from when i was 2 and i tripped in the bathroom, i have several on my hands from my cat and i have one on my knee from when i had a leg infection and they sliced open my knee so they could remove it!

2. Self harmed?

Sadly yes and I've thought about it recently but i haven't so im doing good!

3. Crush?

Like crushes ive had? Because I've had several. Oliver in 1st grade, kyndra in 1st grade, kyndra in 2nd grade, mason in 3nd grade, ethan in 4th grade, jack in 5th grade, seth in 5th grade, kylie in 5th grade, kylie in 6th grade, and kylie (the same one) in 7th grade!

4. Kissed anyone?

I kissed about 2 people and it was a make out session with the first, id rather not talk about it or how it happened.

5. Coke or Pepsi?

I dont like soda. The fizz hurts my throat and tounge

6. Someone you hate?

My brother kevyn and trump

7. Best Friends?

You, i think. Not alot really.

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

Never done drugs but my mom let me have wine when i was 6, gave me a 4th of a bottle of beer when i was 10, and let me have vanilla cola and coconut rum mixed together when my grandpa died, she also let me smoke pot but i didnt want to so yeah. Also vanilla cola and coconut rum is actually really good

9. What’s your dream job?

Animator on youtube or just a big youtuber

10. Ever been in love?

Sevral tomes

11. Last time you cried?

A few days ago when i had a breakdown

12. Favorite color?

Blue or black

13. Height?

5'0

14. Birthday?

July 13 2007! 7/13/07

15. Eye color?

Blue

16. Hair color?

Brown

17. What do you love?

Echidnas, raccoons, opossums, hedgehogs, tenrecs, maincoon cats, norweigian forest cats, Alaskan malamutes, huskys, chocolate, butterscotch, carmel, frozen yogurt, fairy lights, blue lights in a dark room, the smell of rain, the sound of a heart beat, when people run their fingers through my hair or on my scalp, warm hugs, dragons, werewolves, vampires, lofi, cavetown, lots of things really

18. Obsession?

Don't really have one

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

Haven't really thought about it but the only thing coming to mind is to make the pain and guilt go away, maybe to be able to remember my past

20. Do you love someone?

Two people actually!

21. Kiss or hug?

Hug

22. Nicknames people call you?

Toby, small, baby, mia, midget, ducky

23. Favorite song?

Baby hotline

24. Favorite band?

Cavetown

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

I was raped when i was 4-5 and cant remember it

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

I got into a community of people willing to teach my self carr

27. Something you would change about yourself?

My eyes, body and hair

28. Ever dated someone?

They're names were Lily, Jack, Elijah and Alex and ive long since broken up with them.

29. Worst mistake?

I dont wanna talk about it.

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

Both

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

Sort of but not really, im usually the one to break up with them first

32. Favorite show?

Adventure time or steven universe

33. Best day of your life?

When i met JD

34. Any talents?

Ive been told i can sing! I sing when i draw or when im just chillin outside. (id post a video of me singing but i aint got that confidence.)

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

......sometimes.....

36. Any bad habits?

Chewing on my finngers and picking at my skin

37. Ever had a near death experience?

I almost got hit with a train when i was 5, i almost drowned when i was 10 or 11, i was almost trampled by cows (twice) when i was 11, and i almost fried myself 2 months ago!

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

I wanna say my boyfriend or girlfriend but my lack of telling them things says otherwise

39. Ever lost a loved one?

My grandma died a week after i was born but she neglected my mom so no one cared, my grandpa died last year on march 15th i think.

40. Do you believe in love?

I guess

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?

My brother kevyn, he tried to stab me multiple times when we were 7-10 and he always tried to drown me in the pool.

42. Are you okay?

I dont know anymore but i try to be

43. Relationship status?

Taken and happy.

Thats all of them! Thanks for asking!

[caliversatile]

CALI-BLOG!

Blog title: "Introducing Me, CAYLIE VEGA!"

Written in: July 29, 2020

Edited: April 10, 2020

Hi fam! So this is yours truly, Caylie Vega aka Caliversustheworld. And yes I'm a foreign invader from outerspace who's quite obsessed with writing, daydreaming, reading, making cartoons/arts, binge-watching animes, and listening to music especially rock. I used plenty of pseudonyms before settling down to my new name (Caylie Vega aka CVTW), due to some "personal" reasons of course.

Moving on from that part, I started becoming a writer since I was like 9 years old. I am a certified bookworm and I wanted to write the idea that just popped out of my head, so my first story was like written in a stolen piece of yellow paper from my parent's room, and it was a tale about a certain magical angel mermaid whatsoever. Let's just say that she was a product of both Angel and mermaid blah bla blah. That story was followed by another children's masterpiece which was entitled, "BEA THE BEE" and had some cute illustrations in every page. And just as when I fin'lly reach my last year in Elementary (writing for academic purposes since 4th grade isn't counted) I wrote another fairytale story again, and this time was about a statue princess. Innocent as it may be seen, those pre-writer works are all just made out of unutterable boredom, no aspirations involved. What truly moved me to dream of becoming a published author someday is when I discovered about the glorious existence of electronic books. Teenfiction e-books are totally different from the usual non-fiction/academic books I used to read during my boring childhood. The context is awfully written and there's so many loopholes and grammatical errors like adding some unnecessary things like emojis or exaggerated sound effects like, "BOOOOOOGGGSHSHSH!" "SPPPLUUURTRT!" "SKADOOOSHHHHH!!!!". I also noticed that the authors are prefer informal character point of views instead of using the omniscient perspective. However, It's not like I'm criticizing those minor flaws but I rather find it amusing in a way that I like how funky and deviant it is from the standard — it's like eating ice cream in a new flavor. In simpler terms, I fell in love with e-books like how should girls my age fell in love with their first love.

And because of that stimulus, I began to aspire writing novels — solely for fun and curiosity. However, if you think that I've already published a lot of works already because I started from that age, well that's a big mistake. In fact, I haven't. I do but can't even finish one due to my "writer's block" syndrome. Having this as a condition is one of my greatest challenges in this endeavor. It makes me frustrated enough to doubt myself, if whether I was born to become a writer or nah. Year by year, I always come up with a lot of good story ideas (a whole village of 'em) but none of them are finished or even written in the first place, 'cause it's either I keep them hidden in the darkest part of my mind or I always ends up stopping after losing all the enthusiasm in the middle of writing it. I know, that feeling is horrible. I also wanna smack myself but what else can I do anyway? I'm emotionally vulnerable, I easily get inspired and fired up like how I easily get tired and depressed at the same time. Whenever I get the chance to read other people's works, I always tend to feel frustrated with my own when I shouldn't be comparing my chapter 1 to other people's chapter 50. Guess I should've known better.

I kept on asking why God seems like preventing me to do it, until 2020 happened to me. Amidst this life-changing global pandemic, I have learned a lot of things not just from my own self-realizations but also from the online communities I recently joined in. I finally understood that making novels isn't meant for me during my younger years because it's waiting for my growth as a writer now. Before, I thought writing is just a hobby, but now it feels like a permanent career opportunity that I would love to do even when I grew old. I used to think that novels are just written for fun, now I am seeing it in a better, professional perspective. I wanna be a writer whose works give positive impact to my readers. I wanna be a writer whose works are written beautifully like how great painters do their crafts. I wanna be a writer whose works passed the ethical and moral standards of my target demographics and also to our community. (but If I'd still crossed some borderlines, I'd always put a warning about reader's discretion)

So, I decided to break the barricades and write a story for real starting this year — without stopping halfway anymore. I also tried to assess what could possibly be my mistakes from the past (of why I'm feeling the WB syndrome) so I can make a new strategy that I can use against it. From an innocent-writer-wannabe, I finally graduated as a plotter novelist. Yes, I plot my stories now before drafting them. I'm also setting a writing schedule daily so I won't miss the deadline I pinned for myself.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading aliens! Watch out for my next update while stay safe from COVID19. Keep invading and get crazy romantic! 🌷

[kaijuno]

Why I hate fireworks

So I’m kinda drunk and this just came to mind and meh I wanna make a post

So the first incident I was 6. It was the 4th of July and my dad had one of his friends over. His friend had a 4 year old son and... let’s just say their entire family/friend group would fit right in on Springer. Anyway, the 4 year old, Hunter, had his dad light up a firework fountain for him and Hunter proceeded to pick it up and point it at the right side of my head. I lost a good chunk of hair from my temple to the top of my ear, and I lost all hearing in my right ear. Eventually, I did get some hearing back but, like, maybe 50% max. It permanently sounds like I have my finger in my ear, if that makes sense.

Second time, I was at a derby race on the 4th of July. I was about 9 or 10. They had a firework show after the derby. However, it was windy. Firework shelling rained down on the crowed, pieces of shelling up to the size of your hand, for reference. An ember landed in my right eye and all I remember was that I started screaming as my mom dumped the rest of her beer in my eye as an attempt to just stop the burning. I lost most of my vision and am very close to legally blind in that eye

Like at this point I’ll still play with like M80s and Quarter Sticks but any sort of mortar firework can stay the hell away from me

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol... 

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3) 

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... ) 

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts 

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!! 

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll 

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting!  plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh... 

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!  

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr??? 

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!! 

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed 

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final  product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol... 

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...  

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr! 

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!! 

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~

[thestoryofme13]

Fireworks

A/N: So I wrote this fic about a year ago for the lovely @nyxwordsmith for their birthday. This was based on a dream they had and so I made it a thing. 

Summary: Roman and Patton are back together for the summer but something gets in the way, so when they do get time together after a schedule change they take advantage of it.

Warnings: Minor anxiety, Showering scene (is safe for work but a little odd), crying, kissing, non-sexual nudity, swearing

Pairing: Royality

Part of Two Hearts Beat as One AU: Part 1

Finally, summer break was upon them, which meant Roman and Patton would be together without interruption. They had both decided to opt out of summer classes, their normal semesters were stressful enough. Summer was a much-needed break from the school work and never-ending hours of other obligations.

The summer thus far had been relatively slow which neither of them minded. Roman had taken up a part-time job at an ice cream shop, while Patton had decided to work at the hospital as an externship.

Roman and Patton had tried to keep their schedule as similar to each other as possible but sometimes it didn’t work out. The past two weeks were a very good representation of the best-laid plans often going awry. Patton had been given the overnight shifts because the usual intern that worked was on vacation and he was incapable of saying no.

Telling Roman that he had taken the overnight shifts for a couple of weeks had gone better than he thought but it still was one of his least favorite conversations.

~Flashback~

Patton had planned on meeting Roman after they both got off work, actually, he planned on picking his boyfriend up from the ice cream shop, Sweet Divine. He pulled up to the curb and smiled as he saw Roman.

Roman got into the car and immediately noticed that Patton was more fidgety than usual, “Baby, what’s the matter.”

Patton sighed and laughed a little, “Sometimes I wish you weren’t as observant as you are.” He took a breath, “I--um...don’t be mad.”

Roman’s breathing increased and his hands got sweaty, it was rare for him to see Patton looking so nervous and scared to say something, which meant it must be important, “Pat...100% honesty remember?”

Patton turned the key and shut off the engine of the car, then shifted to face Roman, “The intern who usually works nights...well they are on vacation. Soitooktheshift…’m sorry.

“Baby...you had me worried. I know we wanted to keep our schedules as similar as possible but this isn’t the end of the world. What times do you work now?”  Roman let out the breath he was holding.

Patton looked away, “11 at night to 11 in the morning….”

Roman sighed, “Okay yeah that fucking sucks considering I work 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.”

“I ruined it….”  Patton said as he scrubbed at his eyes now realizing that tears were falling.

Roman gently reached out his hand to Patton’s, “I’m not angry, baby. It is frustrating but you want to help always and I know that. Someone said they needed help and in a very you fashion became their knight in shining armor, just like you are mine.”

Patton giggled, “Ro….that was sappy!!!” His voice whiny and giggly.

Roman laughed, “Of course it was sappy. I am your soulmate. It would take a lot more for me to be angry than for my plans to be a little skewed.”

Patton smiled and leaned over the armrest to kiss Roman quickly before driving back to the apartment.

It had been a long shift and all Patton wanted now was to go home and sleep. At this point, he wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was.  Just that he needed to get back to the apartment. It was at this moment he was very thankful for living in an apartment rather than in the dorms still.     

Patton had wanted the college experience for his first year but once that was over he was more than ready to live off campus and not share a room with someone. He and his roommate, Logan, had gotten along enough that they decided to share a two-bedroom apartment off campus after freshman year ended. Which worked out great because when Roman came back from Julliard he could live with them, Patton had checked with Logan to make sure it was okay first.

He pulled into his parking spot noticing that Roman’s motorcycle was still home, but didn’t think much of it. Sometimes Roman walked to work or caught a ride with someone else and Patton was aware that his boyfriend was never home when he got home so that didn’t even cross his mind. The only things on his mind currently were getting out of his scrubs, a hot shower, and his bed. Oh and his day off tomorrow since the overnight intern, Remy, would be back.

He put the car in park and got out heading toward the complex and up to the apartment. It was a battle to keep his eyes open but Patton felt gross and was in dire need of a shower. He opened the door to his apartment and headed straight for the bathroom.

Roman was watching TV on the couch when he saw Patton walk in the door, his boyfriend looked tired beyond words. He followed Patton and entered the bathroom after the shower had started. He sat himself on the lid of the toilet, “Hey baby.”

 “Roman what the hell! I could’ve died,” Patton screamed and pulled the curtain back slightly.

Roman rolled his eyes, “And you say I’m dramatic….I missed you.”

Patton stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend,  “I missed you too, but why are you home?”

Roman looked confused, “You have no idea what day it is, do you?”

Patton blushed, “I think it is June 30?”

“Baby...you didn’t even get the month right, it is July 4th,” Roman shook his head and laughed.

Patton’s eyes went wide, “Oh! That’s why you’re home! The shop is closed for the holiday!” He moved back under the water to get the shampoo out since he had been distracted by his boyfriend’s existence, “Oh, Ro?”

Roman just laughed as it set in just how exhausted his boyfriend was,  “Yes, my love?”

Patton was now spreading the soap over his body, trying to finish his shower quickly. His boyfriend being home giving him new energy, “I have my old shift back. Remy is back starting tonight.”

Roman squealed and jumped in the shower wanting to hug his boyfriend and completely forgetting he had clothes on and that he would get soaked, “That means you get to enjoy the holiday and we get to hang out again!”

Patton squeaked as he felt Roman’s arms wrap around him, “Roman!!! You are dressed!!! I am in the shower!!! What is happening!”

Roman laughed and blushed hard, “I got excited okay! I missed you. Going to sleep without you these past two weeks have sucked, it was like being back at school and I am not ready for that yet.” He moved towards the back of the shower letting Patton go begrudgingly.

Patton smiled as he finished washing off, then turned the water off, leaning to kiss Roman, “I love you and you’re so adorable.” There was no point in trying to keep Roman from getting wet considering he was already drenched. He wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck pulling him in close for a slow kiss.

Roman immediately melted against his boyfriend, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around Patton’s wet waist. He sighed happily against Patton’s lips, leaning against the back wall of the shower.

Patton pulled away with a smirk, “I need to dry off and you need to either undress and shower or get changed. I will put you in the dryer!”

Roman made a noise of offense, “Patton you would not dare put me in there...again!”

Patton smiled and kissed Roman softly, “I did not put you in it last time! You decided to see if you could fit and I closed the door.”

Roman playfully batted at Patton’s arm, “You’re awful. Why do I put up with you?”

Patton laughed, “Because you’re mad--ly in love with me.”

Roman groaned and smacked him lightly, “That was awful. Get out of here!”

“Did you literally tell me to get out of the shower? Excuse you! I was in here first and actually showering,” Patton said with a smile and shaking his head.

Roman laughed, “Okay fine. Counterproposal, we both get out and get dressed.”

Patton laughed and interlaced his fingers with Roman’s “Okay fine but you are coming with me. I missed you, Ro.”

They both got out of the shower. Patton grabbing his towel as Roman peeled his wet clothes off and grabbed another towel. Then the pair headed to the bedroom to change into some dry clothes.

Once dressed Patton flopped on the bed, his second burst of energy having passed. His eyes fluttering closed until he felt the bed dip and saw Roman.

Roman smiled at his tired boyfriend, “I think a nap is in order, baby.”

Patton whined and curled in on himself, “‘m not tired.”

Roman laughed and shook his head, “Uh-huh. If you’re not tired then I’m the queen of England.”

Patton laughed a little, “I don’t wanna sleep, Ro.”

Roman moved Patton so that he was on his side of the bed and his legs weren’t hanging off the edge. He wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist as he laid back with his boyfriend on his chest.

After a couple minutes and some more whining from Patton, Roman gave up and decided to use his ‘off switch’, “I’m sorry, baby, but you are tired. I’ll wake you up later.” He slowly moved one hand so it threaded through Patton’s hair. After repeating this action four or five times, Patton was asleep. Roman felt himself drifting off soon after, completely content to spend the entire day with Patton asleep in his arms.

Patton woke up first. He opened his eyes and released a content sigh against Roman’s chest. Letting himself adjust to the room, he rolled over and looked out the window, it was dark. How long had they been asleep? He moved and grabbed his phone from the bedside table, checking to see the time, it was 8:30 p.m. They had both been asleep for nearly seven hours.

He moved back into Roman’s arms, looking up at his boyfriend and tracing his jawline with sweet innocent kisses. Once Patton came to kiss Roman’s chin, he was met with his boyfriend’s lips instead. Patton hummed happily into the kiss, “You’re awake, babe.”

Roman smiled and tightened his grip around Patton’s waist, “Well you found a great way to wake me up, dearheart.”

“Babe....You know that one makes me all flustered,” Patton managed to squeak out, hiding his face against Roman’s neck.

Roman laughed, “Exactly why I used it. I love you, Patton.”

Patton removed his head from Roman’s neck and looked down at him, “I love you too, re mio.”

“We should get up, watch the fireworks,” Roman suggested as he tried to fight off the blush spreading across his face.

Patton frowned, “Ro, neither of us even like fireworks. They are too loud.”

Roman sighed, “Ah yes, but they are so pretty.” He moved Patton a little and sat up some more, “We could probably see the ones downtown from your balcony.”

Patton smiled, “Then it wouldn’t be so loud. They are going to start soon though babe, let’s get up.”

After much moaning and groaning from both of the boys, they got up and moved towards the balcony, deciding that dinner could wait until after. Neither of them really big fans of eating immediately after waking up.

Patton opened the glass door and allowed Roman to step out first. They leaned against the railing shoulder to shoulder for a few moments taking in the warm and humid night air.

Roman wrapped an arm around Patton’s waist knowing that the fireworks would be starting soon and that the contact would help keep both of them grounded.

The fireworks started soon after they walked out onto the balcony. The dark night sky painted with so many different colors: red, blue, purple, and white amongst others. The designs ranging from simple spirals to intricate flower shapes.

Patton tried focusing on the fireworks but each time his mind would wander to the beautiful man standing next to him. He found himself staring at Roman more than the fireworks, not that he truly minded.

“You’re missing the show, baby,” Roman said teasingly when he felt Patton’s eyes on him.

Patton blushed at having been caught but quickly recovered, “You are my show, Roman.”

Roman tore his eyes away from the display and looked at Patton, “W--what?”

Patton smiled, flustering his boyfriend didn’t happen often but when it did it was so cute, “The fireworks are beautiful and I know that I don’t see them often but Roman… You’re so much more interesting. The way your eyes light up when you see one that is particularly pretty or the face you pull when they should’ve built up the dramatic effect for the larger displays.”

Roman blushed, “You’ve been watching me this entire time?”

Patton leaned in and kissed Roman’s nose, “Of course I have. My boyfriend is far more interesting than some fireworks display. Roman, you are the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen. You know how I can never get anything done when we video chat?”

Roman nodded prompting Patton to continue, “I get so lost in all the faces you make when you are working on things. Or when you try new dance moves your eyes light up when you get them correct or if you mess up you get this look of determination that says you’ll repeat this until you get it right.”

Roman wiped at the tears on his face, “I didn’t know that you were that observant.”

“I am always watching you because you are so interesting. You are similar to me but not, in so many ways. I want to be able to remember everything you do for when we have to go back to school, back to long distance. While I know we have our entire lives ahead of us to be together, I like to take advantage of the time we spend together whether in person or video chat,” Patton said as he smiled looking into Roman’s eyes like he was the only person on Earth.

Roman was full on sobbing, “You are not allowed to be this sappy, Pat!”

Patton took Roman into his arms, “You do this to me all the time! With surprise gifts and displays of affection! Let me have this!”

“Fine. You can have this but only if you kiss me,” Roman retorted the words coming out mixed with laughter. Then he moved his face away from his boyfriend’s chest slightly, looking up at the other man.

Patton laughed and smiled, “Deal.” With that Patton placed his hand under Roman’s chin bringing his lips to meet his own in a slow drawn out kiss. The fireworks around them having been long forgotten. At this moment the only thing that mattered was each other and how their lips felt against the other.

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