#fire emblem incorrect quotes

[emi-chan674]

Felix: Sylvain and I are no longer friends.

Sylvain : FELIX THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

[onyxedskies]

[veriana-rose]

Owain: “Hold for one moment, friend of many brain wrinkles!”

Laurent: “…Pardon?”

Owain, dropping the theatrics: “It means you’re really smart.”

Laurent: “If I am smart and therefor have ‘brain wrinkles,’ where do you stand on the matter?”

Owain: “I am smooth-brained.”

Laurent: “To what end?”

Owain: “…I thought I could get a flaming sword if I cast elfire on my favorite blade. It melted alongside half the forge.”

Laurent: “Ah, I see. That was indeed very ‘smooth-brained’ of you.”

[foolilazuli]

Kiran, about Alfonse: I’d walk through hell and back for that man

Kiran: And I have!

[givemeafish]

Claude: The next time Edelgard is angry with me, I'll drape her in a cape and say "now you're super angry"

Claude: Maybe she'll laugh, maybe I'll die

[the-correct-officers-academy]

{*seing eye test*}

Sylvain: Uh... E... K... L... smiley face... smudge... guy giving the middle finger, smudge, smudge- they're all smudges from there.

Felix: Oh my god, you drove us here!

[geastherat]

my sister @nia23 made something hilarious out of our tiktok conversations

[askhubertvonvestra]

Hubert: I could have anyone here, except Hubert: I'm extraordinarily socially inept

[kasinonightlife]

Severa: *Reading the morning papers* Owain, dear, get your feet off the coffee table.

Owain: Oh, come on, darling! I'm exhausted. Why always so strict?

Severa: *Never averting her gaze* Inigo, sweetheart, remind our husband of the breakfast rules.

Inigo: My pleasure, honey.

Owain: *Falling off his chair in panic* No! We're good, I'm sorry! You don't need to remind me of anything, love.

Inigo: I thought so.

[eladrin-disaster]

Embla: *silently glaring at the summoner*

Atemis: *is 110% prepared to start shit*

Atemis: Bitch.

Embla: I can, and will end you where you stand.

Atemis: No you won't.

Embla: Because I'm a bitch..?

Atemis: Because you're a bitch yeah.

Embla: How'd you even get here, this is Ásgarðr!?

Atemis: I'm the summoner.

Embla: That isn't an explanation at all..!!

Atemis: *incredibly amused* Yeah it is.

Embla: *annoyed* Did you just come here to call me a bitch!?

Atemis: *deadpan* No I came to deliver some dire information for the Æsir..

Embla: Oh, and that information would be?

Atemis: That you're a bitch.

Embla: *snarls* If you utter one more sentence, I will give you to Elm and he will submit you to a thousand tortuous hells each one worse than the last! Until your tiny feeble little mind breaks from the pain!!!

Atemis: Please, I've listened to Thórr try to tell a joke, nothing hurts me anymore.

Embla: *doesn't know how to react* I-...

Atemis: *without missing a beat* Oh and just in case you forgot you're a bitch.

Embla: *utterly defeated* Just get the fuck out...

Atemis: Bitch! I'll leave when I want to!

Embla: *pissed* ....!!!

Atemis: ... *clicks tongue* all right now I'm gonna head out, you still a bitch though!

[emi-chan674]

Sylvain : That was so hot, Felix.

Felix: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Sylvain : I'm so in love with you.

[feaincorrectquotes]

[veriana-rose]

Chrom: “Lucina, what are you wearing to [enter important formal event here].”

Lucina: “Oh! Father, I’m so glad you asked. See, I picked out—“

Chrom: “…Actually, never mind. I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask Lissa to help.”

Lucina: *visibly deflates but accepts it*

[icarus-mp3]

[givemeafish]

Edelgard: Everyone always asks me, how do you handle your husband?

Edelgard: The secret is, I don’t. I have no control over him whatsoever. This morning, Claude called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, he shot me in the throat with a nerf gun

[givemeallyourpenny]

It’s always “how dare you plunge the world into a bloody war” and never “how was overthrowing the church? Was it fun? It looked fun”