#finished my new home page but... ... i dont like it cause its too plain.

[lycanwlf]

im coming to the slow and painful realization that focusing on making my neocities mobile compatible over everything else makes it genuinely 1000x harder and less fun. soooooo...

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 24

Nothing much!! Just like any other day!!! So I started reciting Quran for 2 days now and I think I am going fast, i'll be able to catch up soon inshaAllah! The plan is 20 pgs a day but that is after I catch up. Im in page 71 right now and to catch up I have to reach 120 or umm okay idk tbh! The thing is, i really think I can catch up and finish it inshaAllah, so I didnt do the math accurately! But like I said earlier too, since i am not fastimg nor being able to pray, I am not really getting the Ramadan vibes other than the eating schedule! InshaAllah I will be able to pray & fast soon. Its 1st of june today! New Month!!!!! So roughly june, july and august. These are like the 3 months ill get entirely off. I think half of september will be off too but im talkimg about the whole month! And i dont want to make accurate calculations So roughly, 3 whole months around 12 weeks and -ok, funny part here- i want to lose 1 kg per week so like 12 kgs. Wow. So I didnt start working out yet but like i said, staring is the most difficult. One thing i learned however is how to not be so strict with myself. I mean being determined is one thing but at the end of the day one can only do their best. If it isnt what you had planned, then its ok. Let go. Make another plan, change your plan, manage it accordingly! Dont be hard on yohrself and feel horrible for not doing things as planned. All that however should not be taken as an excuse to totally ditch your goals and mess them up! You should be determined regardless! So since its the first day of a new month, i think i will start working out today! Oh also I went outside today, cause little bro bought ps4 and so I wanted to look at a few things at jarir too! I went to the medical books section and I swear it was joyful! I love books! Irony is, i dont read books. But they still make me happy and i have a thing for good writing! I am a really weird combination of eveything! One word for me: w.e.i.r.d. Yass! So i didnt have anything to buy now but i guess ill have a lot to buy right before uni starts! Im craving food so much! This urge to eat outside or even at home. All sorta good food but I really should not! I should be eating plain oats and working out Ugh! And yes thats prettt much it! My day tadaa! And about him. He is always on my mind. Sometimes it slips from my head the fact that we dont talk anymore. Oh that reminds me of this song with the chorus "we dont talk anymore..like we used to do" or something! Hearing it back then would send chills down my spine cause conpared to where we started once we seriously talked really really less for a really long time and i'd always fear that one day it's going to be no talk at all! Today as I remembered after a slip out that we dont talk now, it just hit me; what i'd fear after listeing to that song! Alright, time to sleep. One of my eye already shut down as I'm typing this!! Night night.

[inaleatherjournal]

Late at Night

(( A friend of mine have been doing Sunguard’s writing prompts and Ive been wanting to for a long time to write out this one for Vinnie. Im not in the guild, but I sure enjoy reading character stories from their page! )) A quill scratched across parchment, leaving behind graceful loops and swirls of words in its wake as Vinnie sat hunched under single floating bauble in darkened bedroom. Quiet snores of Mandulus could be heard from behind him. It was spur of moment borne from a conversation earlier with his husband about Dalheim and danger of his service to Silvermoon that all but reminded Vinnie of their ever presenting mortality. With a heavy sigh he finished his instruction to select firm who would be handling his will. “I, Vynistus Reynald D’Anastasis-Kazeral...” Vinnie winced at his full name, too pompous sounding, but such is required for formal notary. “Give full permission and responsibility to this firm to hold listed items until the time of my death. When I have passed, the firm shall have my permission to read and execute contents of my will to proper recipients. If at the time certain recipient  is found to be deceased, the letters and intended items shall go to my husband, Mandulus Alexsander Asadorian Kazeral the Third to do as he sees fit. Within envelope will be eleven letters to be personally read by person bearing names on each slip. My body is to be left in my husband’s, Mandulus, care and discretion. If at the time of my death I am separated from home, Dalheim Windchaser have full responsibility of returning me home. I also personally request this verbal message be delivered by the firm to one, Nauhil Kael Aranstus. - You get nothing you son of a bitch. Signed, Vinnie Kazeral” The bespectacled blond then blew on paper until the ink were dry enough and shuffled it into a folder along with list of items the firm would hold. The formal notary would have to be read and agreed upon with his executor soon as he brought what could be stored away in the vault. Then solemnly, with air of heaviness, he tucked each sealed letters into folders. It was emotionally and mentally draining to write every single one of them and he felt more tired than usual.

________________ Mandulus, @xxcrimsondreamerxx My light and my rock. In the envelope I leave you the key to my Father’s old estate, its coordinate and a vial. It is in shambles, worthless and ruined, but there are a vault holding many treasured possession that have passed through generations of my family. Do as you deem appropriate with them, there are fair number of things I believe our children would benefit from. I know I hardly talk about my family. What I never told you is that my Father valued bloodline more than anything else, while he placed bounty on me, he never ceased his hope that I, the black sheep, would return. With Solaris and Cernus, I am no longer the last of my line. Everything is warded to ensure only descendants of Remistus D’Anastasis may pass, but the spell might have worn down over years. Take the vial just in case, it holds my blood and is enchanted so you too, may enter. You’ve given me something far better than I dreamed, a good home within your arms, wonderful children, and a lifetime of loving you. With life I’ve led, I’ve always known that one day fate will come to take me away and knowing you… Please, my Love, dont despair. Take peace that while death may have physically separated us and my spot in bed next to you will be empty when you wake up to morning’s dawn. I will be with you in your heart and soul. Then when your time comes, we will be together again. By the light of the sun - eternally yours, Vynistus _______________ Dal, @dalheim / @bracelet00 My heart, my love, I give you my share of Fae’s Rest. It is only fitting that you own part of the Inn as I have and know you will always have a home away from home and a place in my family. In envelope you’ll find estate’s documents with your name on it, it will only need your signature. There are no words to describe my love and devotion for you. You’ve been my everything, as are Mandulus and Chiryn. My heart hurts as I write this, knowing that when you read this, I’ll be gone and it’s unfair as there’s nothing more I want than to spend an eternity with you. If there’s an after-death, I will be waiting for you. Yours always, Vinnie _____________ Alex,

My son, I leave you my journals and notebooks of my work. While I know your interest lies elsewhere, it holds many secrets you might find useful and skills to add to your repository of knowledge. I trust you will know what to do with it. You are turning into a fine mage. I am proud to call you my son and fortune had me lucky that I could be your parent. I may not be physically here to watch you turn into an exceptionally talented young man I know you will be, I will be with you. Please look after Daddy, he’s strong, but he wont be taking the news of my death well. Love,

Papa _______________ Asher,

My niece, I leave you Steel and her foal. Talbuks are loyal and fierce. Within their heart is need to run wild and roam, much like you.  May Steel and her children carry you far around Azeroth and beyond and be secure in knowing where ever you go, I will be with you. Ive never told you this, but your father and I are related. I know you will be angry over having been denied this knowledge earlier on, but know this - I wanted you to have a choice and when you choose to accept me as your Uncle, it was one of happiest day of my life. Thank you. Love,

your Uncle Vinnie ______________ Solaris and Cerenus,

My sons, I leave you my daggers. Krey’theis for Solaris and Tarum for Cerenus. They have served me well and their blades do not dull easily. Take them to a mage in Silvermoon and as you are my blood, they will know what to do to have it bonded to you. Having you two were best thing that had happened to me, Mama Keke, and Mandulus. I have watched you take your first steps, your first escape from Mama Keke’s pen, watched you two speak secret language only twins can understand, and grow quickly into pair of trouble makers. I could not be prouder or more fortunate to be your father. Please look after Mama Keke and may Krey’theis and Tarum protect you on your journey. Love,

Papa _____________ Arielle Dalheim,

My beautiful daughter. I leave you charmed protection brooch belonging to my sister. You were named after her and she was beautiful and headstrong just like you. You also have been given Dalheim’s name, bravest, most loyal elf I’ve come to know and I know you too, will grow to be strong and fierce as he is.  I leave as well a voice recording and photo so that as you grow, you’ll remember what I sound and look like and know that while I couldnt stay, I love you. Love,

Papa __________ Mama Keke, @the-flannel I’ve thought long and hard on what I could leave you, but couldnt come up with something you already have. We’ve shared bed, shared home, and you’ve carried my children, and done so much for me. I am forever in your debt. You’re of strong heart, strong will and I know you will go far in life. When time comes and all children have grown up, and you feel the itch to walk the land - Under floor board of seventh steps to the top floor of the Inn, there’s a precious stone that will call my old companion over. He will keep you company. Love,

Vinnie ___________ Kio, My good friend and lover. The forge have always been yours, but I leave you my tools, maps, and notes on good ore veins. I know you will make good use of it and may it bring fortune to you. We havent always been on best of terms, but know that I hold you to highest esteem and value your friendship more than anything. Thank you for being steadfast friend, always being there for me even when I have been distant. I do have favors to ask of you. Whenever chance you have, please have Dalheim’s back. He is loyal to a fault to his cause and I worry. And keep watch over Mandulus, he hasnt lived his life to fullest yet and I will be most disappointed if he spends it wallowing or hurries after me. Love, Vinnie __________ Chiryn, @meeshay

The apple of my eye and stealer of my heart.  I leave you a key to my safe in Silvermoon and my jewelry tool kit. I know you have a set of your own, but perhaps, you’ll know of someone who’ll put it to good use, someone as talented as you are. The safe holds my collections of gems and it would be a shame to let them gather dust. I expect you with your skill make good use of my gems and create many beautiful things to grace Azeroth. You’ve filled my life with joy and laughter and I am forever fortunate to have loved you. My only regret were letting you go. Know this as you journey through your life without me, I will be with you, if only in your heart and soul. Always yours, Vinnie ______________ Falothemier They’Aran,

Chunky. My oldest, most cherished companion. As arrogant as we Sin’dorei come off, we cannot live forever. I fear this is something you will learn far too soon as your kind have tendency to outlive. I leave you my most precious gem, a heart. I believe you will know what to do with it. Please watch over my family. I have given Ke’edil the stone you’ve given me and he certainly will feed you many cupcakes. May you grow old and wise, I will always be with you. Vinnie ____________ Bal and Riandis, My good friends. You both have been through best and worst time with my family.  I am always grateful and fortunate to have known you both. Within envelope will be a check for a hundred thousand gold to be put in your name. Make good use of the money, finish the garden, fix up the house, and get that wedding you both want. With all my love,

Vinnie

______________ The blond sniffled softly and sucked in through his nose sharply, not the one to cry as he folded folder’s flap intending to secure everything within. Then stopped. He wasnt quite done. Snatching another plain parchment, he dipped his quill and quickly scribbled another letter, blew on it, and folded it to tuck in with all other letters with a touch of wryness to corners of his lip.

“Nauhil, For fuck’s sake. Go be a proper father to Asher or I’ll haunt your sorry ass till the sun goes nova. Show this letter to Dalheim so he knows you have my permission, otherwise he’ll shoot you. Vinnie” END

[heyskoob-blog]

Daily Routine + New Hobbies (:

7:00- my room is in a onsuite next to my grandpas kitchen/living room. I always set my alarm for 7:15 but I some how always wake up to the sound of a boiling water kettle whistling. I put on my moccasin slippers and my big flannel so my boobies don't show, then I go out to the kitchen and make some oatmeal and my grandpa pours us both green tea. Then I help him with the crossword puzzle and the rule is I can't get ready till it's done. I then go to the bathroom, brush my gapped teeth, brush my hair, put my contacts in, then find a nice outfit because you can't dress lazy at my new school or you'll be judged. I'd love to just wear sweatpants and sweatshirt to be warm but nope you can't. ): So I find a decent outfit and make sure I'm presentable 7:00- then I go to austins room and watch sponge bob till he's ready. We then grab our skateboards and attach them to our book bags, we walk Mackenzie to the bus and then we can ride our boards, we go to a gas station next to my school where we hide them in the bushes because we can't have them on school property. Then we wait for our friends to get there and put their boards in the same spot, we then walk to school together and wait in the cafeteria for 1st period to start. They serve milk and cereal cups for the kids who dont get breakfast but there's always extra so I get one sometimes 😏 7:35/1st period- Language arts, my teacher here drags her s's on and talks super quiet and soft and we just read books. It's so boring and hard to stay awake, good thing is there's never any homework or tests just book questions. 2nd Period- Algebra, my teachers super enthusiastic and sometimes makes us homemade bagels. He wakes me up pretty good, he's like in charge of the county fair it's so cool 😂, I'm doing good in his class cause it's so hands on 3rd Period- Chemistry, its super hard and my teacher is weird as fuck. She's like so quiet and always cutting her toe nails or rubbing them under the desk super kinky-like. It's so weird but whatever. She's got so many piercings too, we think she's a secret porn star. She's really good at teaching 1 on 1 though, that's the only way I'm passing. 4th period- business, we just sit in a dark room on computers and make presentations on weird topics such as 'spiral Mac and cheese or original?' then present them and try to convince the class to vote for your opinion. It's weird the teachers sick I think cause she's always absent and her works so easy. 5th Period- lunch!! Here I just eat whatever Tracy packed for food and talk to all my new friends which are kinda lame but I can deal with it. 6th/7th Period- SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY!! I love this class so much we're learning about the brain rightnow and I've learned so much, I love how weird my teacher is, his rooms got buddhas all over and he plays rock music and shit and then he gets in front of the class and even though he's the goofiest guy he's literally the smartest dude ever and you'll learn so much. We're like best friends he always lets me make tea in his room. Also I love green tea now? Just plain. Isn't that weird?? I love it idk why 8th Period- this is the Period I go to photography. It's sooo fun I get to buy a nice camera soon for the class we go around the school or outside EVERYDAY to take pictures for a portfolio due at the end of the year. My teachers awesome, he eats mustard toast. 9th Period- Government/Economics, in this class we learn so much and I'm always focused. I love learning about the government and world problems rather than things from the past. 10th Period- study hall, I love having study hall at the end of the day and luckily I have no friends in this class which actually makes it good for focusing and studying. 2:35- school is finally over, I go to my locker put on my jacket, yes a jacket! I wear jackets now instead of being a cool no jacket guy!!! (; then I grab my book bag and wait outside for my friends and Austin, we all walk to the gas station and buy a big container of hummus and a huge back or black corn tortilla chips. And ofcourse Arnold Palmer tea, it's only like 2 bucks a day when we split the price. Then we grab our boards and ride to this area under a bridge where no one is and where we eat lots of hummus my new favorite food, and drink tea, and they teach me how to skate, I'm already so good at it. At first I needed a helmet but guess what? NOT ANYMORE!!!!! :-) oh and when it's raining my gym teacher who's my neighbor, gives us a ride to school or home from school. 3:00-3:30- we go home and Tracy makes dinner and we all eat and then I take a nap lasting 1-2 hours then I do homework then I play Xbox with Austin, then I study some more then nap another 2 hours then I wake up arounddddd 9:30- I wake up and draw a little, or I go downstairs and work out most of the time but I draw either before or after. Then I go to my room play music on my record player, turn the lights off except for my salt rock and essential oil diffuser which have lavender so I get sleepy (not really) then I sit in my bean bag chair and read this book I've been trying so hard to finish. Idk if anyone reading this would know the name of it, I think it's called 'Eleanor and Park'? Yes it is. See it's so hard to read to myself cause I read a page then can't even remember what it said so I'm trying to teach myself to read slow and comprehend each word. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes on a page rereading it till I get it. I've also been thinking, I love the name Eleanor, or even park. I just wouldn't want both my kids to be named after the book, but maybe one. They're growing on me I guess. (: 10:00-10:15- I get into bed and get super comfortable, I listen to soft SoundCloud music that usually puts me to sleep thinking happy thoughts, but when a few songs play that I have so much meaning to me, it will keep me up for a little just to think, not to be sad but just to think. I always put it on shuffle so I don't know if they'll play or not. But when they do it's like I can hear a voice repeating in my head singing me the same lyrics. Slowly getting quieter and quieter and then fading away. I loved when you'd sing to me, and a few times not many but a few you fell so deeply asleep, and your voice just drifted away. It was so relaxing and made my heart do a little dance! 12:00- I'm physically asleep by now, but mentally I'm still thinking. I'm always thinking I swear. All day, I just have random thoughts. I guess I'd say my mind is pretty active, even when my body is at rest. I've been dreaming so much, I wake up shaking or sweating or with my hands on my face, and I think about the dream and then I fall back asleep, and when I wake up I try to remember but guess what? My dream is gone. Maybe one day my dream will return, one day when I wake up with my dream still there.