#finished chapter 18 and paused to draw this XD

[mizarowo]

"This was Luo Binghe as shaped entirely by his shizun’s loving hand" -line from A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House fic by @verycharismaticdragon

Fanart for one of the first svsss fics I've read :D!

[emerald-amidst-gold]

18 19 20 27 28 from the protag questions <3

Ooooo! Lots of goodies! o3o You all spoil me~! X3

Thank you so much! Let's get into it! >:D

18. What is the biggest similarity between your protagonists?

Grey morality. PFFFFT!

I'm serious. I have a habit of creating characters that have questionable methods to situations, but yet can be empathized with or even sympathized with. Fane, Rylen, and Elise all do what they have to do, and it's up to the audience to formulate whether or not they agree or disagree with their personalities and actions.

I'll say this once because I've had people in the past kind of...bash me for it, but just because your character has a specific view does not necessarily mean you as the creator share that same view. That isn't me throwing swings out at self-inserts or characters that are reflections of their creators, this is just how I feel in response to my own characters. I try to disconnect from my characters because I want them to be their own. I build the foundation, give them a name, a history, or a family to influence them, but I don't steer their minds, their decisions. They flow the way they want to flow. Simple as that. Fane is the OC that is most reflective of me, but not with everything. He has his own methods, own reasons for thinking the way that he does and so do I.

I think it has a lot of my fixation on making characters teeter has to do with how I interact with the world in real life. I just...don't see black and white. I give everything the benefit of the doubt and I hold my ground concerning my views even if others might see them as 'wrong' or 'controversial'. I'm horribly analytical and I'm always like, 'But what if...'. That's just...me. XD

But yeah! Grey characters are my vice and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right most of the time, but I try! :3

19. What is the biggest difference between your protagonists?

Mainly how they approach situations and their feelings surrounding leadership.

Fane is rash, doesn't plan, doesn't think everything through before acting or he just outright chooses not to. He tends to make decisions on his own, but mainly only in battle. In more diplomatic settings, Fane is the master of deferral. XD He divvies out tasks that he feels aren't his area from either a lack of interest, a lack of confidence in himself, or just feeling that someone else would be the better option.

Rylen has his moments of brashness, but he's pretty subdued, go with the flow type of deal, but most who know him intimately know he's pretty high strung when it comes to matters where his voice has power. Man's a ball of stress and anxiety. PFFT!

Elise is the calmest out of the three. It was practically trained into her in the Circle. She's also just inherently docile, but after the Blight she does have moments of being feral and unhinged. That mostly happens if one of her companions are in danger or if her own life is threatened. She's not afraid to make her voice heard, either. Generally, Elise is soft spoken, but she will stand up for herself and other people, despite the grief it could cause her.

20. Who handles responsibility the best? And who handles it the worst?

If Fane puts his mind to it, he can handle responsibility pretty well. His want to involve himself deeply in matters doesn't happen until after Adamant and only gets stronger and stronger after Trespasser. Fane is a force when he wants to be and Solas tries to draw that out, to make him realize he can do whatever he puts his mind to. However, Elise would be the best in terms of responsibility. She had a lot in the Circle, even more during the Blight, and a substantial amount as Warden-Commander. Does she wish she could rest? Of course! But she doesn't complain because she knows she can make change. Rylen's okay with responsibility; he becomes Viscount after all. But, he is prone to slacking off at times, but really only after the Chantry explosion. The guy is TIRED. What can I say? XD

All in all, none of them bad at handling responsibility. They just have different ways that they go about it! :D

27. What would their fears on the graves in the fade during Here Lies The Abyss be?

Yes, yes, yes, YES! The question! The big question! The question that leads to Fane and Solas' first kiss! AHAHAHAH! >:D

Elise - Betrayal. This is more in terms of Elise towards herself and her own actions. She's afraid that everything she's ever done has been one great betrayal to everyone and everything she has ever cared about. She had no choice but to witness Jowan become Tranquil, Alistair, so hurt and angered by her decision at the Landsmeet, abandoned her to face the possibility of the death alone, her faith was sundered after the Broken Circle, making her fear her magic for the first time in her life and making her wonder when she would become the very monsters she had just finished killing. The list goes on. Elise made so many decisions in service to the world, but she silently wonders when it'll all come crashing down around her, when everyone will leave her because they'd been betrayed.

Rylen - Wasn't enough. Rylen wrestles constantly with the fact that he's never been strong enough. He wasn't strong enough for Carver; the ogre ripping him from their family and pounding into pulp. He wasn't strong enough for Bethany; unable to protect her from the templars, so he opted to take her to the Deep Roads, thinking it would be safer, but it wasn't. He wasn't strong enough for his mother; his eyes focused on the horizon rather than the ground that began it all.

And he hadn't been strong enough to end Corypheus for good. We all know what happened wasn't Hawke's fault, but Rylen the master of blaming himself for everything, so that's one event he dwells about every. day. every. night.

Last, but not least, FANE. *sounds the horns* You ready? You ready?! >:D

Fane - To be forgotten. That's right.

That's Fane's biggest, deepest fear; to be forgotten. I know there's only been a few chapters of my main fic that kind of reference this, but you know how Fane constantly says to himself, 'I wish I could be forgotten. It would be better if I would just disappear and be forgotten.'? Yeah, it's a front. He's trying to convince himself that that's what he wants, but in actuality, it's reversed. He's terrified, terrified of being forgotten by the world, by his sister, by the Inquisition...

...by Solas. That's the worst person who could forget Fane. And around the time of Adamant, Solas and Fane being the stubborn fools that they are, act as if they haven't known each other for fucking centuries even though the truth literally screamed at them after Haven. They were lost together in the mountains with that truth hanging between them, and still they ignored it because it hurt and they both felt they didn't deserve the hope that they could be together. Fane attempts to unearth some lost memories, some lingering feelings, but Solas wasn't ready and guided them away from that unopened bag, refusing to let Fane in on his agenda or allowing him to help in any way. It gets to a point where Fane starts to believe Solas doesn't actually recall their relationship, who he is and he spirals pretty bad in the Raw Fade when that tombstone is glaring at him.

When Solas sees it...he cracks. Quietly, in his mind, but he realizes how stupid he'd been, how stupid they had been. The truth was looking at him in two tones and he ignored it out of fear. It's what spurs Solas to take Fane into the Fade and show his dragon the place where he had endeavored to make sure the other would never be forgotten. Solas also makes it clear that he had never forgot Fane, ever.

"I could never forget you, my dragon. Your memory lingered within the halls of my mind even as I slumbered. I am but a fool, a fearful fool. I thought it kinder to let you live a new life, unburdened by my burdens. I do not wish for the past to repeat itself, to see two tones ebb away and breath leave your lungs once more.", Solas said, eyes downcast, pained grimace housing sorrow, grief, and despair in its curves. "...But, it is not kinder. It is more agonizing to try and forget than it is to remember. Though, I have never tried to erase you from my memory nor have I tried to abandon what I felt for you--what I feel for you.'

Fane frowned, tugging on the mage's forearms to bring him closer, urgently, but timidly; Solas didn't even protest, but his eyes remained downcast. "What do you feel, Solas?", he asked and received no answer. "What do you feel, Solas?! What can't you forget?!", he repeated, voice echoing off the halls of death and remembrance. He needed these words, he needed to know!

What did the sky feel?! What did it remember?! He just wanted one damned answer in this upside down world!

Solas' eyes shut slowly, chest rising with a deep inhale. "I..", he started, but paused again, face twitching with hesitance and reservation. "No, it's not--!"

Fane growled low. "Enough! If you won't tell me,", he barked, yanking Solas forward by his arms, barely registering the grunt of surprise that left his lips, and shot his hands up to hold a bewildered face. "...then show me!"

I tease~ >:3

-----

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

I answered this ooooonnnneee HERE! >:D (I would just copy and paste, but it LONG. ADHDKS)

And there we have it! Beautiful! Perfect! And FUN! X3

[laurianos]

Prince’s Gambit - Chapter 19 *waggles eyebrows* Summary

@failes-xtra-bits

Quotes in bold. My comments, thoughts and dumb jokes in italics.

As we all know, this is the chapter where they do the sex. It was very hard not to include everything, but I have summarised and picked out some bits that I’d like to talk more about. Sorry lads, this is a long one, but I have many thoughts!

Before I start, I’d like to mention how interesting it is that the events of chapter 18 lead straight into this chapter.

Things might have turned out very differently if Jord had never interrupted the Lamen kiss on the battlements. In chapter 17, Laurent is calm and in a good mood after their victory. He accepts that he wants Damen and is willing to let himself have him, even just for one night. In chapter 17, every time Damen and Laurent speak, it’s as if they are in their own intimate bubble, everything around them is just a hazy blur, like time is on pause. The next morning they would have to face reality but just for one night they can forget it all and have each other.

Instead things take a big turn in chapter 18 and we now have Laurent in a foul mood. Old wounds have been reopened. While he is left alone, he has time to think. He is reminded of the abuse from his uncle and his brother’s death. The person he has come to trust and love is his brother’s killer. With all of that comes a mix of feelings. In his current situation, any wrong move could cost Laurent everything. The Regent plots against him, always seeming one step ahead. The pressure is on. He is no longer distracted by their earlier victory. Things feel very real again. When Damen and Laurent finally do sleep together, it’s not with the mood of chapter 17, it’s after a harsh reminder of pain and everything else that is at stake.

So with that in mind, here is the chapter 18 summary:

Damen is angry. He orders the section clear (again).

‘Are there orders for what should be done with the prisoners?

Throw Aimeric off the battlements. (XD) ‘Keep him confined in his rooms.’

‘Yes Captain.’

‘I want this whole section kept clear. And Guymar?’

‘Yes, Captain?’

‘This time, I want it actually kept clear. (I Love Damen’s Sass! XD) I don’t care who is about to get molested. No one is to come here. Is that understood?’...

He wanted to make a barrier that protected Laurent from anyone who would intrude on him. He’d keep that perimeter clear, if it meant stalking these battlements and patrolling it himself.

He knew this about Laurent. That once he gave himself time alone to think, the control returned, reason won out.

On Damen’s way out, he asks one of the guards to ‘Watch over the Prince,’ saying ‘Anything he needs, make certain he has it. Take care of him.’ and ‘He deserves your loyalty.’

Damen finally goes to ‘his’ room. He drains a cup of wine, unpins his Captain's badge, looks out the window and thinks.

...

Laurent enters the room. Damen realises who’s room he is standing in. Laurent steps forward.

...

Laurent said, ‘I know you’re planning to leave tomorrow. You’re going to cross the border, and you’re not going to come back. Say it.’

‘I-’

‘Say it.’

‘I’m going to leave tomorrow,’ said Damen, as steadily as he could. ‘I’m not going to come back.’ He drew in a breath that hurt his chest. ‘Laurent-’

‘No, I don’t care. Tomorrow you leave. But you’re mine now. You’re still my slave tonight.’ (Laurent probably thinks, if he can just have this for one night and have it over with, hopefully the feelings will go away and he can return to ‘normal’ afterwards.)

Laurent pushes Damen onto the bed.

‘I-don’t-’

‘I think you do,’ said Laurent

Laurent starts to undress Damen.

‘What are you doing?’ Damen’s breath was shaky.

‘What am I doing? You are not very observant.’

‘You’re not yourself,’ said Damen. ‘And even if you were, you don’t do anything without a dozen motives.’

Laurent went very still, the soft words half bitter. ‘Don’t I? I must want something.’ (I wonder if Laurent gets sick of people making assumptions about his character. Probably. He was clearly irritated by something Damen said. Perhaps because this is the one time he has no motivation. He is with Damen purely because he wants to be. In fact I’m sure he’d rather he didn't want Damen at all but he couldn’t help himself.)

‘Laurent, he said.

‘You take liberties,’ said Laurent. ‘I never gave you permission to call me by my name.’

‘Your Highness,’ said Damen, and the words twisted, wrong in his mouth. (I’d just like to mention that Pacat once said she likes the idea of Damen calling Laurent ,‘Your Highness’, in bed XD) He needed to say, Don’t do this. But he couldn’t think past Laurent, improbably close. (I think Damen is in disbelief but also torn. He wants this so badly but wonders if this is what Laurent really wants, and if he���s in the right mood to be making this decision) ... 

‘I don’t think you want me. I think you just want me to feel this.’

‘Then, feel it,’ said Laurent.

Laurent continues to undress Damen, unlacing his trousers.

‘I see you are everywhere in proportion.’ XD

Laurent proceeds to give Damen a hand job.

The grip felt more like ownership than a caress...

The rise and fall of Laurent’s hand was like the slide of Laurent’s words, like every frustrating argument that they’d ever had, stymied, tangled up in Laurent’s voice. He could feel the tension in Laurent, sharp like the feel of his own heartbeats. Laurent held his former mood within him, constrained, and converted into something else.

...

Laurent said, ‘Adequate.’ XD 

One of my favourite things about this chapter, is how it didn't quite go the way I thought it would. We all knew Damen and Laurent would eventually sleep together, but I didn’t think it would be like this. The start isn’t so much of a surprise. Laurent’s mood from chapter 18 carries on into this one. I expected angst, and we got some. 

But this is when it changes. It’s slow and tender and full of emotion. We see Laurent’s vulnerabilities and hesitation. This is why I love it so much. It’s not just sex for the sake of sex. Fine, yes, we get all the juicy details (and I’m certainly not complaining about that 😏) you would expect to find in a smut chapter, BUT, it’s so much more than than that. There is actual character and relationship development. It is the most open and honest the two have been with each other so far. It was the moment we were all waiting for and it did not disappoint.

Damen said, ‘Kiss me.’...

He had pushed himself up, so that his body made a curve, the planes of his abdomen shifting. Laurent’s gaze splayed out instinctively over him (Laurent be checking him out like 👀), then lifted to his own...

He could feel the desperate urge for retreat. He could feel something else too, Laurent keeping himself apart, as though, this act being finished, he had no template for what to do.

With Laurent finished (or rather, Damen finished XD), it releases some of the tension from earlier and Laurent’s bad mood seems to have disappeared. He is no longer acting on impulse driven by mixed emotions. He can’t hide behind anger any longer. He is forced to experience it all and confront his own feelings with his guard lowered.

‘Kiss me,’ he said again.

They kiss. Then Damen draws back and kisses Laurent on the neck.

It was not what Laurent had expected. He felt the slight shock of Laurent’s surprise, and the way Laurent held himself, as though confused as to why Damen wished to do this (poor boy is affection starved 😭)

They kiss again deeply.

Damen starts to undress Laurent. 

He thought of the servant he had seen attending Laurent earlier, how much he had disliked it. (Jealous boi 😛)

Damen removes Laurent’s jacket and shirt. He sees that Laurent is aroused.

Laurent said, ‘Did you think I was made of stone?’

He couldn’t stop the rush of pleasure he felt at that, said, ‘Nothing you don’t want.’

‘You think I don’t want it?’

...

Laurent pushes Damen back with his boot, and Damen removes it. 

They kiss again and Damen starts unlacing Laurent’s trousers, removing them.

Damen gives Laurent head.

For all his seeming experience, Laurent reacted like an innocent to this pleasure. He let out a soft shocked sound...

.... Laurent’s slight, helpless shifts and pushes, the quality of his surprise, and the hard act of repression that followed, as Laurent tried to even out his breathing...

Damen could feel Laurent’s cycle of reaction and repression beneath him, as impetus gathered, building in the lines of Laurent’s body.

And felt it stymied. As rhythm built, Laurent’s body locked down, his responses repressed... Laurent, out on the shattered edge of pleasure, was holding himself back from climax by sheer force of his impossible will...

After a long moment Laurent said, with painful honesty, ‘I... find it difficult to let go of control.’

‘No kidding,’ said Damen XD

...

The words fell into a stillness between them. Laurent’s breathing was shallow, and his cheeks were flushed as he closed his eyes, as though he wanted to block out the world. (He desperately wants to forget all his conflicting thoughts so he can just feel and experience this moment.)

‘I want,’ said Laurent, ‘I want it to be simple.’

‘Turn over,’ said Damen...

Laurent closed his eyes again, as if in decision. Then he acted.

Laurent turns over onto his front. (Damen is not prepared and dies slightly from shock.)

He felt nervous suddenly, green, as he hadn’t felt since he was thirteen - uncertain of what lay on the other side of this moment, and wanting to be worthy of it.

Damen mentions how tense Laurent seems. He turns Laurent over again to face him.

‘... a desperate irritation that overlay something else... For all his bizarre nervy tension, Laurent was indisputably eager, physically...

‘Contrary, aren’t you,’ said Damen softly, thumbing over Laurent’s cheek.

‘Fuck me,’ said Laurent.

‘I want to,’ said Damen. ‘Can you let me?’...

The idea of being fucked very clearly had Laurent out of his mind, as desire competed with some sort of convoluted mental objection that really needed, Damen thought, to be dispensed with...

DAMEN!!! How do you not know?!!! How have you not picked up on what could be wrong?! gaaahhh! ... *sigh* BUT I will put my frustrations for oblivious Damen aside. Pacat does mention she felt it had to be that way, that Damen shouldn’t know.

‘I am letting you,’ said Laurent, the terse words pushing out. ‘Will you get on with it?’...

In Laurent’s eyes, impatience and tension overlay something unexpectedly young and vulnerable. Damen’s heart felt exposed, outside of his chest.

...

A wild vial appears.

He could look nowhere but at Laurent, both of them here with nothing between them, and Laurent allowing it...

It was intensely private...

The reality of it was different; Laurent was different. Damen had never thought it could be like this, soft and quiet and acutely personal.

...

Let the sex commence!

...

You’re mine, he wanted to say, and couldn’t. Laurent didn’t belong to him; this was something he could have only once. (*sniff* cri! 😢) ...

To get what you want, you have to know exactly how much you are willing to give up. (*sobbing* 😭)

Never had he wanted something this badly, and held it in his hands knowing that tomorrow it would be gone, traded for the high cliffs of Ios, and the uncertain future across the border, the chance to stand before his brother, to ask him for all the answers that no longer seemed so important. A kingdom, or this. (*ugly crying* 😩 *balling eyes out* 😭😭)

...

Climax. End.