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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 4 years ago

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It’s The Avengers (03x11)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 11: Exotic Medicines

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: high and...slutty moments?

Word Count: My heart feels so light today. And Tari is one of the reasons for this. In the sense that she is amazing and gives me hope about myself.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

A creature with the head of an unhinged raccoon and the body of a dragon lizard scuttled on the dry patch of land, looking at its surrounding with those crazy eyes and panting with the sounds that usually came out of an out of breath pug whose nose was too small to take in the precious air for that chonky body. This guy, however, was more interested in chewing on the first piece of leather it bonked against, those huffing noises making any witness feel for this miserable looking animal. The leather boot shoved the raccoozard away only to have that stubborn bastard come back for the seemingly delicious leather that was now drowned in its spit. The boot kicked it casually- and lightly- once again to move away from the ground and instead rest on the barrel. The camera focused out of the boot to show Loki having no feelings look to the little 'zard. The other camera flying low over the creature was more interested in Lulu's raised hair looking at the abomination with caution before coming to smell the poor thing that laid upside down, thanks to Loki's amazing boot skills. Lulu raised its fluffy paw in the air, taking his sweet time to tilt his head and smack the animal in its face. And much to the little fluff's surprise, the 'zard growled and hissed at him, making the fluff ball take a step back. "Hey," Loki called out for Javier, who turned the galactic go-pro in his hand towards the God, "send one of your peekers inside to see how's it going." Javier moved the camera toward him to record himself giving Loki a look of confusion.

"The cameras are not 'peekers'," he signed before shrugging, "and peeking is not ethical." "Oh," Loki raised his brows while the camera quite tactfully panned in on the tension in those exposed biceps of his arms under the black shirt. He raised his hands to sign back. "So you go ahead be 'ethical' when those witches sacrifice her for her blood. Okay?" Javier's muted gasp had more emotion than Natasha on her bloody days- pun fully intended. "You were the one who suggested the witches!!!" The hand movements got more intense by the passing minute. "I suggested them for her bloody cramps," Loki signs back, still perched on the barrel, "I don't know what happens after?!" The camera was called to zoom upon Javier's face before he facepalmed himself harder than he should have. "Most cunning God MY ASS!!" "If the two of you are going to make a ruckus here then I would suggest you leave." Both boys stood in attention while the cameras focused on the woman in her wise years standing right outside the tent. Her authoritative features on that beautiful wrinkled green skin showed no sign of remorse or acceptance for the apologies. When she turned to go inside Javier turned to Loki to sign, "But we were not even talk-" "Because I can hear your thoughts, you useless meat suits," she shouted from the inside. Loki looked down at a fluffed up Lulu and shrugged. "Witches."

The Lounge "Okay, so the trick is for you to go-" Scott raised his leg and gracefully brought it back to bend over to let his beautiful booty naturally display the trademarked 'thicc'ness - "and then jerk it back like-" he continued by giving it a pop. Once. Twice. Thrice. The camera turned away to look at Peter and Vision stare in a mixture of shock as well as delight with a synced tilt of their heads. "How did you do that?" Pretending to flick away the hair from his face as he came back up- quite seductively- he sighed. "I've had practice." The audience waited and was met with no further commentary. "Oh, okay. So, we are not discussing the...uh...practice," Peter breathed before letting his brows furrow in deep curiosity, "but how the eff do you do the-" he bent over and tried to twerk. That twerk came out more like Peter trying to force his diaphragm to push up a seed stuck in his windpipe. Scott blinked at the effort before helplessly looking at the camera.

Scott: *clicks his tongue* White people problems. We either shake that thang like Beyonce was our mama or we bend over as if begging someone to do the Heimlich on us. *camera zooms in* There is no in-between.

"You need a lot of practice," Scott pointed at the spider boy before moving over to Vision. "And show me what you learned." Vision looked at Scott's phone and WAP started right from the build-up to the verse. The camera never went below Scott and Peter's torsos but the unprecedented shock in their popping eyeballs left a lot to the imagination. When Vision finally came back in the frame, he smiled at the two. "I feel like I could have popped my behind more." Scott and Peter blinked and felt themselves jolt at his statement. "More?!" Peter gasped. "How?!!" Scott shouted at the same time. Vision, unphased, let the music start from the top. "Like this," he added innocently and went out of the frame, leaving both the boys to find a God in their prayers to answer their questions.

Planet of the Witches Javier took the shade of the lone bush under the sweltering sun by squatting under it, all the while watching Loki's leg impatiently tap on the barrel it was resting on. And when their eyes met, the former smiled and signed something. "I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about my ears falling off from listening to Stark's babbling of 'not taking care of her daughter'. I am not her bodyguard. He should know that by now." Javier scoffed. 'Are you sure you know that by now?' Loki narrowed his eyes at him. "You have been getting cheeky by the day, boy." "And you cannot control your grumbling clouds for a fraction of the 'kula, can you?" The eldest of the witches, a humped grandma with a river of wrinkles over her face and hands and feet, came out to glare at Loki, who got off the barrel to stand in front of her in just a pinch of guilt before his eyes were distracted by your figure coming out of the tent. Before Loki's veiled relief could say anything, grandma took her crooked walking stick and slapped Loki's shin. The tiniest whine filled with confusion to the brim escaped the raven-haired boy. "OW!" the God growled at the old woman before raising his leg to hop around in pain while you tried your best to contain the laughter bubbling inside you. "Do not come to me for help if you cannot handle a few 'kulaeg, you impatient bog!" Loki's jaw unhinged while he hopped about and you gave the camera the more delightful look.

You: *gasp and beam* never in my life I thought I would see Loki stagger like that. That too by a five hundred-year-old alien lady!! *screeches* I love space! *shimmy your shoulders*

"I didn't even do anything this time?!!" Loki thundered, finally putting his foot on the ground. "Wait," you raised a finger in anticipation and confusion, "this time?" Grandma tapped her stick hard into the rocky ground. "Be thankful it's not a yank in your nethers for kidnapping my Logo last time." Your muted gasp grew wider, and the camera panned in when you stood in the middle of the two. "You kidnapped her Logo?" You whispered with elation. "Your Logo did not want to be kidnapped?" You tried hard to restrain the chortle in your voice before trying to come back to a straight face. The camera panned in on your face to catch you whisper, "I don't even know what a Logo is!" right into the lens. "I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. Grandmama, tell me everything this stupid ass has ever done!" Loki didn't seem to like the idea. "What is your problem, Se'tiri? You hit me even when I don't do anything wrong?! Every! Single! Time!" Se'tiri narrowed her eyes at the God, not letting her little body be intimidated by the six-foot tall creature. "You have one those faces, boy. Ones that are asking to be hit because they do not know what manners are." "Oh, dang," you whisper to the camera and secretly praise this alien grandma's spirit. "Fine, I'll never come here, ever again," Loki huffs, grabbing your hand to leave in a two-second surprise state, "come on, Y/N, let's go." "That's what you said last time you blue seaweed," Se'tiri shouted in her raspy voice, "make sure to remember this time! And take those damned bao-bao I made you and your friends, you giant slug!" Leaving your hand for a moment- that seemed to bring a microsecond of mellow sadness over your face- Loki smoothly turned a one-eighty to go inside the tent and bring with him a bento wrapped in blue fabric, grabbed your hand again and gave a stink eye to the woman. "I am taking these bao-bao with me, you rotten hag! And I will come whenever I please!" "You better come with some fucking bao-bao material or I'll not make more for you!" she yelled. Loki was already walking away with you by his side. "You will make me more because I am the only one who eats these stinky buns!!! Come on Lulu!" he yelled back, making the camera focus on Lulu standing upright, both excited and confused with something thin and long hanging from his mouth before he sucked it in and ran behind you two. The raccoon thing was nowhere to be seen.

The Lounge "You guys are the f***ing nuts!" Sam announced as the camera panned out to show Scott, Vision and Peter sitting on the sofa. Two of them had pouty faces while one was enchanted by the Falcon. A good moment of silence passed with Sam's firm expression before he finally spoke again. "You have to move your hips in a way to not hurt your lower back. And you have to split without hurting your nuts!" Both Scott and Peter winced at the memory and brought their ice packs closer to their crotch. "Now, watch...and learn." Sam gave one quick look to Vision and the AI automatically turned on the music for Sam to manoeuvre his body to the beats with the rigidity of water. And before anyone knew it, he was making a one-eighty with his leg to open it into a perfect split before popping that booty thrice for a perfect finish. The camera panned out to zoom in at the faces of equally bewildered and impressed Steve and Bucky standing at the entrance of the Lounge holding hands. "Should we...ask?" Steve wondered to his partner, his eyes still glued to the man of many talents. "Do we have to?" Bucky added.

Bucky: *in all his seriousness* We have to. I need to learn how to do that perfect split but I will cut my own veins before asking Sam for tutoring me.

Away From the Witches "All the weirdness aside because I know it comes from the insecurity in your past relationships of being not loved enough to trust another person, I have to say you and Grandmama Se'tiri really care about each other." The camera was stuck in one frame- on your head resting on your hand while your gaze was stuck on the God pretending to brood while eating the purple coloured buns the old witch had made for him. A quick glance from him at you from the corner of his eye and he was already turning his eyes towards you to question that softness stuck in your eyes while you looked at him. Not to mention your smile. "Stop looking at me like that," he muttered with his mouth half full. "Fuck you, I won't," you giggled lightly, getting a raised brow from Loki. "How the fuck can someone look so cute while eating? Why are you looking so good while eating?" Loki had to stop chewing and look at you for a few moments in keen observation. Or judgment. Or both. "What did they do to you in there?" It was your turn to sit straight in this weird open buggy floating between two alien rhinos as they languidly strolled over the deserted part of the planet. "They squeezed all that painful shit out of me," you inhaled. "Like I could feel my uterus squeeze and let the walls out from inside me, the blood, the gooey stuff, all of it. It hurt a bit at the beginning like every other time but once Grandamama and her sisters started chanting, it was all gone," you concluded with a smile. "Even though the goo was still coming out of my vagina." Lulu's camera caught the reasonable blankness on Javier and Loki's face before both of them put the buns down and tried their best to blink away the pictures you had so patiently put inside their heads. You, still perched with your head on your palm, smiled at the boys. "Should've left the bun for after the icky bloody part. Is it weird I can still smell the blood? Just like that bloody stench you get when you dump your menstrual cup down the drain during a shower and watch all that blood go down imagining you just murdered someone and are reminiscing the entire thing." Loki looked at the camera with newfound confused horror in his eyes.

Loki: Remind me to never piss her off during her bloody days. *inhales* Also remind me to make Clint and Steve piss her off on her bloody days *smirks and raises his brows suggestively at the camera*

"Oh! And she even gave me candy!" You nearly shout, going for the little backpack and unzipping it take out a blue plastic looking bag which looked like something straight out of your younger sister's newly opened business with much effort given to the packaging and the brand. An outline of a herb adorned the logo while a few imprints of languages unknown to you were written below it. "And I am not sharing it with anyone." Loki scoffed, looking at you while slowly putting the delicious-looking bao-bao in his mouth, making you wrinkle your nose before opening your own collection of fluffy marshmallow-like collection and putting one in your mouth. "Oh dang! It's cheesy!" You babbled through your full mouth, gasping with a sudden revelation. "Ooooh!! And spicy!" Loki chuckled and turned his whole body towards you. "Oh come on now, Y/N. You don't have to pretend to give your little trinkets flavours to tease..." His voice drowned when his sight apparently fell on the packet you were holding while gobbling down your second treat. "This one's minty," you added with a wiggle of your brows and a huge smile on your face. "...me," he barely whispered, his attention only on the packet with his eyes narrowing on the foreign words written over it. The bun resting in Loki's hand dropped into his lap for Lulu to make it disappear within less than a second. Loki's hand came for the packet but your reflexes were too good today to let him lay his claws on it. "Oh you aren't getting any," you gasped at his audacity. "I don't want to ea-" Loki snapped himself and moved his hand towards the packet- "let me see the packet." Silence. "Y/N." Your hand went inside the packet for another snack. "Y/N," he called out sweetly with a hint of caution. You popped the little ball of crunch in your mouth. He leapt halfway towards the packet, his hand reaching and almost grabbing your newfound treasure. "Stay. Away," you command with your eyes. "I just want to see the pack-" he leapt again and this time grabbed your back instead while the snacks were raised away from him. "Really?" "You're not getting any!" Loki was lying over your now. Both of you were grunting and squirming; Loki trying to lock his arms around your waist to push you down while you anchored your free hand on the edge of the floating buggy. "Give me the packet!" He roared. "No!" You growled back and hissed at him without turning around to look at his frustration lines. The God locked his legs around yours, using his one arm to restrain your waist and the other to tickle your armpit long enough to make you howl in a burst of laughter that ended with a blood-curdling sigh when he finally got the packet in his hand. "Aha!" He exclaimed, still not letting you go. "I hate you!" You wiggled inside his hold that didn't seem to work him much. "Why do you have to be so FUCKING strong!!" But Loki had all his attention on the package by now. His glow of victory faded as fast as it came when his eyes went over the print, the shades turning from a subtle shade of confusion to a much denser stroke of fear. "Wha-no...no!" Loki looked at your scowling face cursing him left and right. "How many have you eaten?" "Oh screw you!" "Y/N! How many have you eaten?!!!" All the rage in your pupils melted into full-blown innocent kitten eyes. "A few," you whispered. Loki- his lips parted in question with the nearest star hitting his pale face from the side to let his green eyes glow with the reflection coming from your white tank top- tilted his head to judge you with a raised brow. Your lips parted just like his but in heavy bewilderment of the sorts that one does not usually let out before turning to share a look with a camera.

You: *tilt head* was he always this...poetically beautiful?

You mumbled something under your breath with your eyes darting away from his face. "Y/N." "I said I had some at grandmama's place." A muted yet sophisticated gasp came out of Loki's mouth. "How many exactly?" "....Six or seve-" "We can still fix this-" "-teen?" Any hope bubbling in the God's eyes suddenly evaporated when he looked into a camera with a newfound fear.

Loki: This candy *raises the packet to show to the camera* is a sort of soother. It releases the tension in your muscles and helps in better blood circulation along with improving focus, increasing the stamina and...making everything quite...brighter? *sucks on his teeth* *looks at his feet while still holding the packet in frame* All of this happens when you consume two candies. *camera pans in on the artificial smile on Loki's face as he looks back at the lens* *whispers with a strain in his voice* she's had seventeen.

WAP Boys The flatscreen showed Loki gasping in sheer horror while the mute icon activated right over his disparate shade of horror as compared to your confused one. The same camera shifted from the huge screen towards the group gathered in the lounge, trying to figure out who did it. Scott, Peter and Sam were busy teaching Bucky and Steve while Vision made everyone some fizzy lemonade. Wanda searched for the WAP dance videos online while Natasha sat on the sofa- closest to the screen- making videos of the boys. For a second she revered her eyes from the screen to look at the camera sideways. A fleeting second, a straight face and the single silent entity in the chaos was all it took for the Black Widow to blink at the camera before going back to her phone. "There is no way I can do tha-" Steve was trying his best with his hands raised up to his chest in defeat. "Oh, come on, Cap," Scott begged, "you don't even have to do much. You just wiggle a little and your beautiful bouncy ass will do the rest of the work." Steve started to speak but stopped to give a hyperexcited Scott an expression filled with so many questions. "Word," Sam chimed in from behind Steve before gulping down his share of lemonade as he walked towards the sofa, getting a frown from Steve as a response. "Amen," Bucky announced whilst looking at the camera with a nascent smirk as he sipped his lemonade, at the same time trying to push his hair back. The 'really, Bucky?' look on Steve's face was a sweet bonus to already blushing owner of America's ass. "What the hell is happening?!" The unprecedented surprise in the familiar voice put everyone's metaphorical tails into one collective bushy goosebump. All the cameras shifted to a stunned yet stoic Tony Stark standing by the entrance of the lounge while everyone else tried to calm their heartbeats and look for an explanation.

Scott: I actually thought I was gonna get kicked out and so *shrugs*

"He did that!" Scott blurted out while pointing at the empty loveseat. Tony narrowed his eyes at him and the poor Antman found himself at a loss of words. "We were-" Steve paused for a second to give a quick look at everyone's faces before scratching an itch behind his ear- "learning a...a new dance?" "..." "It's the WAP!" Peter acknowledged with quite the enthusiasm till the wide cautious eyes of three people standing around him made him realise what he had just said.

Scott: *breathing into a paper bag* Oh crap! I am definitely dead today. Stark's gonna kill me for ruining his precious baby!!

"You all-" Tony at everyone in the room- "are learning the WAP while I get the news about a deadly virus taking over the world." "What?" There are muffled gasps and confused looks shared before everyone gets serious.

"It's a flu. The scientists are calling it Covid. Dr Cho, Bruce and Shuri are working on the cure," "Who's behind this?" Steve's persona did a complete one-eighty. "Hydra?" "The Neo-Nazis?" "Oh! Illuminati?" "Apparently, it has originated from 'bats'. The Wakandans have a lead on the 'bats'." "Okay, everyone," Steve announced, "let's suit up!" "Woah! Woah-ho-hooo!" The camera panned in on Tony's posture that clearly said 'nobody's going anywhere'. "Where do you think you're going?" Silence. Everyone looked at Steve for an answer. "To find the root of this virus." Tony took a step forward, his head already held high as usual. "Not before I win the WAP." Scott's jaw dropped to the floor, him and the camera looking at each other at the same instant. On the other side, Natasha- lying on the sofa- scrolled through her phone. "Okoye has already taken care of the 'root cause', hasn't she?" she nudged Tony. He didn't answer that. For a few seconds. "Doesn't matter. I can still wipe the floor with his ass. With all your asses." "Okay okay okay okay okay-" Sam nodded, enjoying the playful tension between the boys. "It's on. It is on!" The camera shifted to Natasha, who was still sprawled upon the sofa, smirking at her phone. "Perfect timing," she commented with a wink before opening her phone's camera to start recording.

In the alien Buggy "IIIII Loooove you BABAYYYYY. And if it's quite ALRIGHT!! I neeeed you BABAYYYY to warm these lonely NIGHTS!!!! OH PRETTY BA-" The singing continued in the background while Loki sat defeated on the floating vehicle, focusing on anything but that singing. His lips ran in a thin line, really telling the spectator the limit of his patience. The tension was boiling in his muscles and yet he did not move an inch, just waiting patiently. "Oh my God Loki?" You sat up in a daze behind him, your mouth agape with disappointed horror. "We have been together all this time but you got your hair conditioned! And not mine?!!" Loki's palm tried its best to rub some of his own disappointment off his face. "I thought we were best friends," you whimpered with betrayal in your already watering eyes. The camera focused on Loki shifting as he went for his bag to take out a bottle of water and a small green sachet. His eyes were on the camera when he asserted ever so sweetly, "of course, we are friends, Y/N. And I'll tell you where I got my hair conditioned-" he opened the sachet and mixed the herb-like contents in the water- "but first you need to drink some water." The camera panned out to show you running on the rough terrain away from the alien buggy- while Loki kept talking to himself- hopping in excitement at intervals. "It will hydrate you and flush out those undesirable dru-" The d-word hung in the air when Loki found the space behind him empty. "Y/N?" He questioned in a tender tone, quite probably wondering you were hiding somewhere. The second time your name came out in urgency when he looked at Javier and Lulu sitting there in confusion. The third time he hopped down the moving vehicle- which, to be fair, moved at a turtle's pace- and looked underneath the levitating body. There was no fourth time. He just looked at Javier and Lulu, who turned to look in the direction you had dashed in. "Why didn't you stop her?!" Loki was restraining the anger so hard. "Oh, what do you mean neither of you can speak!!" By this time, Loki's heart was in his mouth, he was sweating and his breaths were shallow. Javier whistled at the rhino-like aliens pulling their buddy to stop. Getting down, he set his camera to Loki's side profile, conscious to maintain a safe distance from an untethered God. Licking his lips, he shut his mouth and took one deep breath with his eyes closed. The nearest star helped with its bright rays to let the audience know the clench of his jaw was an intense one. Opening his eyes, there was only one emotion that was visible on his entire being. "Fuck."

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twordytings · 5 years ago

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Final Countdown

Request by @delightfulfics

Word Count: 1,083

Prompt: Hey! So I saw your fic prompts and I thought that I could suggest one. Maybe 1, 14, & 17 with Strange and Reader? Also love your writing :)

AN~ I may have gotten a lil carried away w this one oops

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Why was watching your mentor learn new spells ten times more intriguing than learning them yourself? You had no idea. It might be because you were a visual learner, or plainly because you were eager to see him screw up the spell and taunt him about it for the next week. Either way, Strange was probably your favorite person to be around. If your parents hadn’t left you in the dust you would’ve never met him. Not that them leaving you was a good thing, it’s just that your life became so much better once he came along. You didn’t really know exactly what he was to you. It was kind of a father/mentor type deal. You would never call him your dad, though. You’d guessed the trauma from being abandoned had left you feeling like you could never be vulnerable again. You swore to take care of yourself this time, leaving no room for anyone else to waltz out of your life and make you wonder where you went wrong. Of course Strange encouraged the whole call-me-dad thing, but you made it clear you weren’t ready yet. So where you were right now, eating popcorn whilst watching him learn some new sorcery mumbo-jumbo, you couldn’t have been happier.

“Ugh! Y/n do you mind handing me the spell book on my desk?”

“Sure thang lemon meringue.” He smiled at your lousy attempt for a nickname.

“Not your best one y/n/n.”

“Yeah I know.” You said as you handed him the spell book and sat back down to continue your popcorn munching. You could hear him mumbling what you assumed was the spell he was working on, but weren’t expecting the huge beam of fire that erupted from his hands and shot straight through the roof. Jaws dropped to the floor, you both stared at what used to be part of the roof of the Kamar Taj.

“Well that wasn’t supposed to happen.” Instead of replying to him, all you did was break out into boisterous laughter. You couldn’t help it! He just blew a hole straight through the ceiling! “Are you laughing at me?” He said in an offensive tone. You, on the other hand were still cackling.

“HAHAH! Uhhh...” wiping a tear from your eye “...no! I’m juhust uh... yeah I’m laughing at you.” You said as giggles were pouring out of you. “Ihi cannot believe you juhuhust made a hohole in the ceiling! Hahaha!” Strange started getting frustrated at your incessant giggling, but you obviously didn’t notice it over how occupied you were.

“Giggle one more time, I dare you.” Okay. You may have noticed that part. You contemplated for a good two seconds on whether or not you should let the giggling go, and ultimately decided it’d probably be best that you should be nice and stop. Unfortunately for you, you still found it funny even after your giggling had subsided, causing a quick - yet accidental - snort to erupt. You immediately put a hand over your mouth to protect yourself from any further damage. Strange crossed his arms and held an intimidating stance, one you’ve seen way too many times considering your past shenanigans, and said, “Are you serious?”

“What? It was FUNNY!” You said defensively.

“Alright, I’m gonna count down from ten. Say sorry and I’ll spare you the consequences.” He said daringly. You crossed your arms in a huff and stood up to look at you mentor in his beady eyes.

“I’m not saying sorry for something I couldn’t control.” You started walking away and as soon as you did, he started his countdown.

“10...” You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at him.

“I’m not a baby! What’re you gonna do? Put me in time out?”

“9...” You stood your ground, whatever he was gonna do couldn’t be that bad... or so you thought.

“I’m not gonna say it.”

“2... okay, time’s up!”

“Wha- you said ten! You can’t just ski- AH!” And before you knew it you’d been picked up like a scoop of ice cream. “Let me go!” You said as you tried kicking your legs in an effort to escape. There was no use. He had your back up against his chest, not to mention he was way stronger than you. “

So. I’ve been meaning to ask... are you still ticklish?” The realization of your impending doom had struck you, you were screwed.

“NO! NONONONONO!”

“Aw what’s wrong? Are you scared or something? Didn’t seem like it earlier.”

“Okok! I’m sohorry!”

“Nope too late.” And without warning he started scribbling his fingers all over your stomach, immediately causing you to break out into bubbly giggles. He then began to wiggle his fingers wherever he could reach, including your armpits, ribs, and hips. You started screaming like a maniac, causing Wong to run in since he thought you were being murdered.

“What happened! Why is there a hole in the roof?!”

“Wong! Help! HE’S KILLING ME!” Wong looked at Strange in confusion.

“I’m just tickling her calm down.” Wong chuckled in relief.

“Oh ok. Have fun!”

“WAIT NO DONT LEAVE MEEE! Ugh dang it!”

“You really thought he was gonna save you from the almighty sorcerer supreme?”

“Oh please. Would an almighty sorcerer supreme burn a hole through a roof on accident?”

“You see, I was gonna let you go but your basically asking for it.” And without any chance to protest he blew what felt like a billion raspberries in the crook of your neck, causing you to screech like a pterodactyl.

“GEHEHEHEHET AHAHAHAHAFF!”

“Alright alright.” Strange helped you up and asked, “Can you breathe?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” He scoffed and wiggled a finger in your underarm. “Hehehehey!” You sighed and gave Strange a hug. He was a bit surprised since you never really showed much affection towards him, but he couldn’t say he was mad about it. “This might be kinda weird but I think I might’ve needed that. I haven’t laughed like that in a while.”

“It was no problem y/n/n.”

“Hey Strange?” You looked up at him. “Is it okay if I um... is it cool if I start calling you dad?” You honest to god thought he was going to cry, but he somberly replied with,

“Of course you can.” And hugged you as tight as he could laying a kiss on the top of your head. I guess you could be happier, because you knew in that moment that he was never letting you go.

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ornamenthorde · 5 years ago

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Finally got around to getting off my ass and started drawing that entrapdak wedding dream I had years ago.

Warm up sketch oh dang I haven’t drawn since secret santa thang. This shit is going to get detailed because my damn obsessive costume fetish.ffuckinghellIcanneverstop

Anyways, Entrapta would totally fucking wear a pants wedding gown. I noticed on re-watching “s1 ep6″ There’s a lot of subtle gear motif all over Entrapta’s castle along with a half fan gem pattern. Lastly, that elongated hexagon pattern on her romper pants legs shows up on her castle walls...so i’m pulling those elements from there. I felt the gem fan and gear was a regal motif I could work with :D so there ya go

I haven’t decided if she became a queen or w/e yet but she’s defiantly older like super late 30′s.

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beautifulweird0 · 5 years ago

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Parental Pain: The Strength of Our Children

I was seven years old with 27 dollars to my name after my 7th birthday. Family members from Florida to Alabama where my roots lay sent money in cards that I made sure to read even as young as I was…

My mother wasn’t there for my birthday that particular year. My memory isn’t the best so I can’t even recall what was wrong to make her absent for my annual birth date; she usually was there for my birthdays. Anywho, I was just going to let my money sit in my furry, pink, clear purse on the door of my bedroom. I knew my brothers nor grandparents were going to dip into it.

Some days go by and my mom finally comes ‘home’. I was so elated that she came back that when she asked to borrow my money I gave my 27 dollars to her without a second thought. Pretty dumb right?

My mother sounded like she really needed it and promised she would give it back.

My 27 dollars I was going to build up...or spend at the corner store was gone. Never really thought much else about the situation until I came across a meme that called black parents out on ‘borrowing’ money from their children…

Ain’t gone lie, a sista’ was thinking like, “Damn...I’ll never do my baby like that EVER.” I don’t care if I have to sell pictures of my feet.

Moving forward, my mother is a MUCH MORE dependable person now but I told my 2 cents to raise awareness on the dysfunction a lot of us were raised in.

I wish I would ask my son for HIS money with my grown ass! If I take any money from my son ever it's going to be put up FOR HIM and HIS future. I have some 2 dollar bills in the stash for him right now so he can see what a 2 dollar bill looks like; maybe he will pass them down to his kids, who knows...

I haven’t been through as much as I have seen. I learned a lot from watching others and their situations play out.

Nothing ever went past me and if it did, that’s because it’s in my nature to want to see the best in people. I’m not dumb, I do dumb things sometimes but I let my heart blind me and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

When my mom came to me, I remember her looking so tired. Her smile was worn, her eyes were glassy. Didn’t know what to make out of her honestly. All I felt was that I had to be strong and help her out. Ain’t that something? Not one hair in my armpit and I felt obligated to help my mother financially. Sometimes in my life I had to tuck my parents in; fed them even. The friends I had in college used to call me “Mama Aysa” jokingly but man…

I ain’t give a damn how tore up I was, how many shots I threw back or what I blew on. My antennas was up and I kept note on each homegirl. I knew who was in the kitchen, who was in the bathroom, and I knew who stepped outside. And know when that Uber pulled up we were all outside linked together even if we didn’t look put together.

My father...had a terrible drinking problem. I remember when my little sister and I went to stay with him for a weekend. I woke up the next morning wondering where my father was. My little sister was still asleep so I went to the back bedroom to find my dad sleeping on the hard, carpeted floor, an empty beer bottle in hand. The sight almost made me cry. To see your parent in a low place messes with your spirit no matter the age.

Knew I couldn’t leave him like that so I took my pillow and laid it gently under his head after taking the beer bottle out of his hand. When I went to put my blanket over him he woke up, thanked me with a kiss on my hand then went back to sleep.

I could go on and on. I’m not recalling any of this to blast my parents; they had parts of them that were unhealed from their childhoods. I love them so dang much!

Their wounds is something I didn’t see back then but I moved according to my Granny always saying, “God pays attention to your actions; you can't change nobody.”.

Yes Granny, you can’t change a soul but roles also shouldn’t flip.

My heart goes out to the children who have to play the parental role or hold their tongues to spare the toxic egos of their parents.

Let’s dive a little deeper shall we?

It’s crazy how children are made to feel like they have to be strong for their parents when it's the parents that messed up in the 1st place. That’s like crashing the car and blaming the person in the backseat. Yes we should definitely support family in time of need but let children be children! The lack of this produces adults who are unhealed. There's many flaws within lack of accountability , that nobody questions in our community. I can only speak for the black community because I’m a black woman and though I may not have grown up in a household where you get popped in your face for questioning a situation, I know it's common in many other black households.

Parents...it’s not your child’s fault you are broke. Nobody told you to ride that thang into the sunset or not wear protection. Hustle harder.

Parents...it’s not your child’s fault you can’t go to thirsty Thursday. Get you a glass of wine and down that mug after you put the baby to sleep.

And please...I can’t stress this enough. Tell your children sorry. It doesn’t matter if they’re a baby, I tell my son sorry whenI lose my patience and he’s currently 10 months old. The objective is to get into the habit of doing so so that ego doesn’t stop you when they are able to communicate orally.

At work yesterday, I was on the phone with a lady for over an hour listening to her life story after canceling her reservation. She’s been through a lot and put her children through a lot concerning men and her finding her way. I was in agreement with this lady I never met in my life, until she said something along the lines of, “They need to get over it…”.

Now why can’t it be, “I understand how my children feel and if I could go back and change what occurred, I would but I can’t. I hope they can grow healthy and heal from what happened…”, and so on? The ego on these toxic ass parents KILLLLLLLLLLLLLL ME!

How dare you try to dictate and subconsciously invalidate what you put your children through because of your piss poor choices? Mind you she said it was times her daughters jumped on a man for beating her. HER DAUGHTERS came to her defense when her head was knocked between the washer and dryer and that’s what you say about what they face?

I simply cannot.

I’m not passing judgement on nobody because I don’t have my shit together either WHATSOEVER. But damn, if we want the black community to move forward we have to call each other out ESPECIALLY when it comes to these babies. I’m so passionate about kids because their love is so freaking pure but they are defenseless.

The fact that children feel the need to step up in trauma they didn’t create says a lot. Because I’ll say this in the defense of these parents; they are hurting too.

That’s why it’s important for other members in the family to step up. It forreal takes a village to raise ONE child. Don’t get your ass on Facebook talking shit about Aunt Bertha who watched your child(ren) for the free 99 because you’re mad she told lil Jimmy to eat all his peas.

When shit hits the fan, you're going to need the support of other family members. I promise you that my baby. To decide to bring a child into this world is a decision that isn’t to be taken lightly. Can never stress enough how serious this parental role gets. And to keep it a buck 50, about time most of us have a baby we won’t be even 80% prepared no matter the age. Way of the world- or...choices for a better term.

My family jokes about how protective I am over my baby boy but I can’t afford for him to hurt like I did. And I damn sure won’t allow anyone else on this earth to hurt him, not on my watch.

That would break my heart more than anything else in this universe to know that he would be screwed up due to my actions. Nope. Can’t stomach it and won’t because I’m trying to heal from my demons before he’s old enough to talk and correlate what’s going on.

I want to protect my son from what I can but also raising a black boy, I know that sometimes he has to fall on his face. I know that sometimes I have to be firm and not eager to pick him up when he cries. Mommy won’t always be there to kiss his booboos. But shid, mommy won’t be the one inflicting those wounds either.

Give your children a childhood they won’t have to heal from. Sometimes you’re going to trip up. Sometimes you are going to lose your cool or whatever the case but your kids will turn out fine as long as they always see you trying and loving them.

I never speak on what my grandparents could have done better because their downfalls don’t come to mind. Their love and effort comes to mind because that’s what I’ve seen. When I speak to other associates who are parents as well I tell em, “keep it real with your baby and they will keep it real with you.”.

I’m looking forward to the days I talk to my son about women and what he wants to do in life. But I will also communicate with him that I may not be having the best day, please be patient with your Mama and in advance I apologize. If my son comes to me about me hurting his feelings or embarrassing him, I will apologize and I will listen to him. Never talk down to him but build up my seed.

Too many men walking about here wanting to love, wanting marriage but don’t know where to start because their mothers never said sorry or talked down to their own sons like the man that hurt them.

Too many women walking around here wanting a husband and family but are scared to submit to a good man because they always heard the bitterness spewing from their mothers mouths. Or their fathers are everywhere but in their face...

Children are mainly defenseless, the very last object they should be associated with is a shield...

206 notes · View notes

sweetpxsin · 7 years ago

Text

SK: When you kiss another guy in a drama without telling them

Requested:Anon

Member: Strays Kids

Plot: Hey :D Could I get a Stray Kids reaction when their gf needs to kiss someone else in a Drama and she didn't tell them about it? Like their finding out by watching it (sorry for any mistakes I'm from Germany hahaha)

Genre: fluff

Note: it’s obvious to tell which members I had the most fun writing for :,,) i swear this was no way biased just personal opinion

[ Master list // Guidelines // Request ]

[ C H A N ]

•Pouty Chan all day 24/7 till you finally noticed that he was being sulky

•and he’d refuse to admit his jealousy

•”Chan what’s wrongggg.”

•”nothing.”

•He was being so pouty with his arms crossed and everything you couldn’t resist the urge to tease the answer out of him

•”Chan~ Channie! What’s wrong”

•chan would sigh dramatically and even slouch down the couch no longer able to be pouty about it especially if you were going to call him by his nickname

•”Chan!!!!”

•*another deep heavy sigh*

•”sigh one more time are me and I will slap you.”

•”with your lips gladly.” *sighs heavily again*

•”e-excuse me?”

•chan being Chan he’d aggressively pull you towards him just so that you sat on his lap before he placed a soft kiss against your lips

•afterwards he sigh in content and just be honest about why he was being moppy

•”I didn’t like that you kissed another guy especially without telling me.” Even though he was trying to be mature about it he’d still have a whiny tone to his voice

•”I’m sorry.”

•”your crime needs to paid with the currency of kisses and currently you owe me 20.”

•”Cha-.”

•”OH MY HEART MY POOR OLD HEART MY LOVE NO LONGER LOVES-“

•you shut him up with a kiss causing a giggle and a huge smile to emerge from his lips

•”only 19 more to go~”

[ W O O J I N ]

•super whiny and touchy

•like the moment you woke up his arms were already wrapped around you before he started rolling the both of you around on the bed saying your name in a whiney singsong voice

•and at first you thought it was because he missed you but boy were you wrong

•his cuddles didn’t last before and truth be told his grip on you was only so he could interrogate you

•”so I’m still the best kisser ever right?”

•”I mean not to toot my own horn but I’m totally the best right?”

•”uhm Woojin what’s up?”

•”oh you know you didn’t like just kiss another guy but like psh that not why am asking.”

•”aww is my big beaw jealous?”

•of course his jealous act would falter as he pursed his lips into a pout suddenly turning soft in your hands

•he was being so cute that you couldn’t help but cup his face in your hands and pepper his face with kisses

•”I love you, you know that right?”

•”I love you too.”

•a smile would be on both of your faces as you both admire the other in comfortable silence

•”and for the record your kisses are the best.”

[ M I N H O ]

•purposely plays the episode where you kiss the other dude in, right in front of your face

•well not really but his head would constantly be turning from you to the tv to see if you were paying any attention

•and if you weren’t he’d clear his throat over dramatically to get your attention

•”What is this conspiracy?? There’s only two places your lips should be and it’s either your face or on mine.”

•it would have sounded super possessive if it wasn’t for how whiny he had made his pitch

•and for the pout he was sporting afterwards

•”It didn’t even look good! Just another dead drama kiss.”

•”aigoo don’t be jealous Minmin(don’t ask)”

•”I am not.”

•”are too.”

•”am not.”

•and after a while he’d cross his arms more, purse his lips further and sink himself further into the couch

•and he wouldn’t return from his jealous until you shower this boy in kisses and cuddles

•only then would he uncross his arms to pull you closer, in a giggly fit

[ C H A N G B I N

•okay but have you ever seen petty Changbin?

•The moment he found out you had to kiss some in the drama you were acting was the moment Changbin turned super jealous and petty, partly because you didn’t tell him

•”I’m the better kisser right.”

•”excuse me?”

•”It was a dead kiss always.”

•”What???”

•”the kiss in the drama you acted in for Chris sake!”

•after those words left Changbin’s lips your jaw dropped slightly before a giggle escaped your lips as he began to pout

•”is Binnie binnie Changbinnie jealous?” You teased

•”jealous I don’t know her.”

•it was obvious he was a dejected from the way his arms were crossed and how he cutely pursed his lips, despite his clapbacks

•So to make it up to him you crawled into his lap and pecked his lips lightly, cupping his face in the processes

•”of course my changbinnie is the best kisser”

•at first he’d be a little embarrassed but at the sound of your words his prideful smile would return and he’d pull you into another kiss before hugging you tightly

[ H Y U N J I N ]

•sour asf about it

•like will literally say “so um you want to say something to me?”

•”good morning?”

•”nope try again.”

•”uhm...hi?”

•”nope try thinking of something that would cause such betrayal.perhaps something you did on tv?”

•it took you awhile to understand what he was getting at

•but when you did find out the way he towered over your form with crossed arms and a frown had suddenly turned a lot cuter

•”awww is my bby boy jealous?”

•”no..”

•”you know that kiss meant nothing right?”

•he’d whine a little when you stand on your tippy toes to lightly pinch his cheeks

•”you could have told me.” He’d say still holding his childish manner up

•”I’m sorry baby.”

•Hyunjin would ponder over it a bit before deciding he can’t be upset with you any longer before giggling and dipping down to your height to kiss you

[ J I S U N G ]

•”How could you?”

•”How could I What?”

•”I trusted you”

•”okay?”

•”and you’re just gonna betray me like that?”

•”que?!!??”

•Jisung would cross his arms and refuse to look at you, his chin up was he turn his head

•”Jisung would you care to enlighten me on such event I have no idea I took part in?”

•without even moving his head he’d reach for his phone and show you the screenshots he had waiting for the moment

•”evidence number one.”

•”Jisun-“

•”IM NOT DONE WOMAN I SUFFERED TAKING THESE SCREENSHOTS MY HEART IS CRYING MY BOOTS ARE SHAKING AND MY PETTY LEVELS ARE BEYOND WHAT MY BODY CAN HANDLE. EVIDENCE NUMBER tWO...okay proceed I only could take two sceemshots.”

•he’d fake a sob and even peek to see your reaction

•”Jisung bby it’s hard to take you seriously when you act like that.”

•”ahem it’s detective Jisung excuse you.”

•“Right..”

•”CAN YOU JUST TAKE THE HINT AND KISS ME MOTHER OF GO-“

•you cut him off with a swift kiss finally calming his nerves as his adorable smile reappeared

•”thank you,but kiss another guy without telling me and your sleeping in the doggy house.”

•”jisung we don’t have a do-“

•”exactly”

[ F E L I X ]

•You already know how extra Felix is so you could say you were a little amused when he swung open the door with his jaw wide open

•”What is this?!”

•”What is what?”

•Felix shoved the iPad forward as you crawled in his direction

•”I AM OFFENDED. LIKE I KNOW THAT KISS IS SO DEAD AND LIKE MY KISSES ARE THE BEST BUT LIKE RUDE!!!11!!”

•Felix would then processed to fall onto the bed and continue to whine

•”OH HOW CRUEL THIS WORLD IS MY BOO THANG KISSED ANOTHER MAN WITHOUT TELLING ME! oH HoW CrUeL! OH MY POOR AUSSIE HEARTU!”

•And to be honest at his point you couldn’t tell if he was jealous or just begging for your attention so you put the ipad down and bent over him and kissed him for a brief moment to shut the poor boy up

•And you could have swore there was a spark of half aw and half mischief that twinkle in his eyes before he continued on with is little shenanigans

•”Is this what’s it like to be kissed in the dramas because I’m living for it.”

•”Your so crazy.”

•”But you love it.”

•”Sadly.”

•”WHUT YOU MEAN SADL-”

•and of course once again you had to kiss the boy in order to keep his little temper off track

•”I love you~”

•”Of course you do.”

[ S E U N G M I N ]

•is torn over being petty or to just be super sweet about the whole thing and tell you how It bothered him you didn’t say anything

•but in the long run decides to be petty about it

•”What a lovely day we’re having here.”

•”Seungmin it’s raining?”

•”ah just like my angst teen heart.”

•”What????”

•”oh the pains of seeing thy significant other kissing another manz. How my heart is torn and pettiness seeps further in bones.”

•”Seungmin…”

•” OH the pain the pain oh how it withers my heart. What a dead kiss a distasteful sight. Maybe I wouldn’t be so mad if it wasn’t so dead.”

•after a little more of his pettiness it would finally sink in but you wanted to see how far he would go with this so you remained “oblivious.”

•”OH MOTHER OF MERCY HOW MUCH I WISH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER COULD TAKE A DANG HINT.”

•once he saw you burst into a fit of giggles he’d be slightly embarrassed and his bruise pride would make seem even more hurt and offended

•”so you were just gonna pretend you knew nothing. How rude.”

•”Love you!”

•”mhmm say that to the couch.”

•”What?!”

•”showed me in affection and I’ll think about it.”

[ J E O N G I N ]

•Pouty baby #2

•Jeongin wasn’t even willing to speak he’d just sit there with his arms crossed and a pouty lip mumbling about it under his breath

•”Jeonginnie is something up?”

•he didn’t quite care how soft and tempting your comforting voice sounded he was jealous and he was going to have his petty moment

•so he’d “hmph” and then the other way

•and it’s continue on till Jisung or Seungmin couldn’t take it any longer and dropped by to say

•”he’s jealous cause you kissed another boy.”

•the look of betrayal on Jeongins face was enough to confirm jisung/Seungmin words

•”I am not jealous!”

•”mhmm keep telling yourself that.”*que Seungmin/Jisung leaving room*

•”for the record I’m not jealous.”

•”yes you are~ aw come on Jeonginnie I only love you.”

•”BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME.”

•he’d pout more but at the same time nuzzle into you

•”I’m sorry next time I will okay?”

•”hopefully their won’t be as next time…”he’d mumble just lightly

•”What?”

•”nothing just shower me in affection please~”

1K notes · View notes

buckyscrystalqueen · 7 years ago

Text

Life On The Road: Part 2

Pairings: Chibs x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff

Word Count: 5,239

Aesthetic by @sorenmarie87

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey y’all! It’s (Y/N), baby girl and Tinkerbell, the killer pitbull.” You smiled as you showed your growing baby bump and your sleeping pup laying beside you in your bed. “Coming to you live from the damn rain apocalypse of the century in Colorado ‘fore I call it a night. You know, I love the rain, though. So dang peaceful. It’s like Mother Nature’s way of wiping the nature slate clean. Helpin’ the circle of life thrive.” You smirked and rolled over onto your side, propping your stomach up on a pillow and causing your unnamed daughter to roll over in your stomach. “Kinda makes ya wonder when Simba’s… ahhh!!!” You sat up quickly as someone pounded on your RV door. Tink went crazy on your bed and you grabbed the shotgun you kept at the foot of your bed.

“Open the damn door!” Chibs shouted, causing you to lurch up to sit on the bed. You didn’t even bother saying good bye to any followers watching as you ended the live video.

“Pas touche, Tink. ’s’alright.” You snapped as you scooted as fast as you could off the bed. “Stupid dang map. Just open the damn thang!” You shouted over the pounding. Chibs yanked the door open and jumped in out of the rain, dripping water onto your faux wood floor. He looked up at you and your shot gun as he slammed the door closed behind him and turned the lock.

“Lock the damn door, woman! Yer pregnant!” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line and your jaw dropped to the floor.

“Are you outta your cotton-pickin mind?! Who do you think you…”

“The fath’a a yer child, tha’s who.” He pulled off his drenched jacket. You finally set your gun down and got off your bed to get him a towel with a scowl.

“And? I don’t know you! Nor do you know me so you best watch your mouth for I knock you so hard you see tomorrow, today.” He snatched the towel from your hands to wipe his confused face.

“Wha’?” He asked as he held the towel in front of him. “The ‘ell does tha’ even mean?” You turned around to yell at him again but softened as you looked at his shivering body.

“Goddamn it. Take that shit off ‘fore you catch pneumonia.” You turned and stepped past him to your closet. You yanked it open, grabbed a old t-shirt and handed it back to him before searching for a pair of shorts or pants that would be big enough and long enough for him as his wet cloths started to plop onto the ground. “What do you want, Chibs?” You snapped as you handed him a pair of pink, flannel sleep pants.

“Yer pregnant.” He said matter of factly as he stepped away from the puddle of water on the floor. You huffed a laugh and nodded as you closed your closet and opened your small bathroom to get to your laundry line.

“Yea, I am. And?” He looked at your back as if you were crazy as he pulled on your shirt.

“An’? An’ I’ve the right ta know ‘bout it, don’ ye think?” You shrugged as you moved your cleaning supplies to the kitchen counter so they wouldn’t get dripped on.

“Figured a big, bad biker would be happier not knowin’ he knocked up some stranger.” You admitted as you strung the line through the small space and locked it into place. “Didn’t take y’all as ‘daddy material’.”

“Yea, well ye don’ know me. Look out, luv. I can ‘ang m’own clothes.” You glanced back at him and stepped around him to clean up the water on the floor.

“OK. So you made your point. I know you know your gunna be a daddy. So what now? You think you can storm in here…” You stepped on the towel he abandoned and scooted it over toward the door but Chibs put his foot on it in front of yours.

“I don’ wan’ ta change yer life, luv. I know just from the very little I’ve spoken ta ye, tha’ tha’s not ‘appenin’. But I’ve the right ta know m’child even if that means goin’ nomad in m’own chart’a and followin’ the two’a ye’s ‘round the country side.” You cocked your eyebrow and crossed your arms over your chest.

“I don’t speak biker. I speak Southern.” He rolled his eyes as he took the towel and wiped up the floor.

“t’is a branch of the Sons that doesn’t have a ‘ome base.” You nodded as you stepped back toward your chair where you had your dirty clothes hamper. You sighed and leaned your hip against the counter. You rubbed your hand over your baby bump as your daughter shifted around to get comfortable and sighed. “Do ye know wha’ ’t’is?”

“Girl. Haven’t settled on a name yet.” You said softly as you looked up at him. You pulled up the bottom of your tank-top and reached for his hand. “She’s always active at night. It’s like she knows I’m fixin’ ta sleep. Don't kick much. Just squirms ‘round like a turtle on its back and keeps me up half the night.” His face lit up as his daughter ran her foot across his palm.

“Aye. Bairns always take yer sleep away first.”

“You have any?” He sighed and looked up at you.

“Had. I’ven't seen ‘er in ova ten years.” Your smile dropped as he gently but firmly pressed his fingertips against his daughter’s feet, the way only a father could.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’.” You said softly as you realized that you were doing the same thing to him that his ex did. He shook his head and looked up at you.

“’s’not yer fault, lass. But ye see why I can’t jus’ pretend this isn’t ‘appenin’?” You nodded as you put your hand on top of his.

“I only have one bed. You can stay but I ain’t gunna promise ya it ain’t gunna be awkward.” He nodded as he pulled his hand out from under yours.

“We’ll figure it out, luv. I’d do anythin’ jus’ ta ‘ave the chance ta be a fath’a again.” You gave him a weak smile and nodded before stepping around him to your bed.

“Back up, Tink.” You said as you waved your hand at her on your way up the two steps. She growled at Chibs as he stepped on the stairs behind you, protectively. “No, you know bett’a.” She let you climb on to the bed and laid down directly in front of your stomach. Her eyes didn’t leave Chibs as he slowly laid down on the other side of the bed.

“She won’ bite, right?” He asked as you pulled back the blankets and hit the main light switch with your toe.

“She’ll move in a few minutes. She’s just bein’ a pain in the ass.” He nodded as he laid down under the blankets and folded the pillow that probably smelled like dog under his head.

“Nigh’ luv.” He said softly. You looked across the little loft bedroom at him and nodded.

“Night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning to a tame, huffed, ‘woof’ from Tink, followed by one of your cabinets being closed as softly as it could. Your brow furrowed as you propped yourself up on your elbow for a moment, trying to figure out what in the world was going on when a muttered, Scottish voice muttered ‘fuck’.

“Watcha lookin’ for?” You called out, slightly horsely. You sat all the way up and started to scoot down the bed as another cabinet closed.

“Coffee.” He looked back at you as you appeared in the opening of the loft bed with a shake of your head.

“Can’t drink it much right now so I ain’t been buyin’ it. But I planned on hittin’ the store t’day when we get to the next campground so we’ll get some. I had ta stop early ‘cause of the rain last night.” He nodded as you grabbed your bathroom caddy off the counter and grabbed some clothes from your closet. “You got another clothes?”

“Probably all soaked by now.” He said as he scrubbed his hand down his tired face. You could already tell he was as much of a morning person as you were. You grabbed a pair of basketball shorts that were probably gunna be a little small on him and a clean shirt.

“Next place we stop has a laundry mat. Come on, I’ll show you were you can get fixed up so we can ride out.” You went over to help Tink off the bed and felt Chibs tap you on the shoulder. Wordlessly, he gestured for you to back up so he could lift your pup off the bed and too the ground. She never had an issue getting up, but the step down to the stairs was just a little too far for her. She grumbled at him as you pulled on your bathroom Crocs and followed you outside into the muddy campsite.

“Sleep well?” Chibs asked as he fell into step beside you with your clothes and a small bathroom bag in his hand.

“Peachy. I have a child using my uterus as a jungle gym.” You glanced over at him and shook your head. “Ya ain’t gotta go the small talk shit in the mornin’, darlin’. Like one of the characters from one of my shows says, ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation’.”

“Thank Christ.” You pointed him in the direction of the men’s restroom and held the women’s door open for Tink, even though you knew she wasn’t allowed in. But you weren’t about to leave her outside while you got ready though. After twenty minutes, a few slashes of ice cold water on your face, and the tiniest bit of makeup, you headed outside to see Chibs, smoking a cigarette and waiting for you with a styrofoam cup of coffee in his hand.

“Who’d ya have ta bribe for that?” You teased, a little more awake now. He glanced back over his shoulder and pointed toward the campsite one over from yours.

“Paid five bucks for two cups of instant coffee.” He said with a laugh as he swirled the contents in the bottom of his cup. “Shite coffee but ’t’is coffee all the same.” You nodded and laughed as you paused by the door of your RV.

“Alright, so you wanna just follow me the two hours ta Canon City, where we’ll be for the next week or two.” He nodded as he glanced over at your pick-up and his Harley.

“Sure but wet or not, I’m puttin’ m’jeans on for that.”

——

Two hours later, you were finally pulling into the KOA the camp sight in Canon City, Colorado. Tinkerbell was going crazy beside you, excited to see her best friends in the whole, wide, world; Todd and Stacy. The older couple were as close to parents as you had ever gotten.

“Where’s pop?” You asked as you meandered around the bend toward H3 & H4. You smiled and waved at Todd, who was making lunch on the fire and drove just past him to the site that you would call home for a bit. “Alright, alright, go on!” You said with a laugh as you unclipped Tink’s seatbelt. You glanced back to make sure Chibs had stopped moving before opening your passenger door. Tinkerbell shot out like a cannon ball and ran toward the RV beside you just as Stacy was walking around the corner.

“Hey vicious!” She laughed as she was almost barreled over by your rambunctious fur child. You shook your head as you got out of your truck and walked around the front toward her.

“You’d think we hadn’t seen ya in years.” You giggled.

“Well it has been a few weeks. Look how big you’ve gotten!” You smiled proudly as she put her hands on your bump and bent down to give it a gently kiss. “Todd, come look at our future grand baby.” She looked up as CHibs got off his bike and lit a cigarette. Her eyebrow flew to her hairline as she looked back at you, questioningly.

“Baby daddy. Scared the shit outta me last night.”

“You there, boy.” Stacy called out as she snapped at him. You grumbled her name as she called him over with a wag of her finger. “You’re responsible for this?” She asked. He looked a little startled and looked at you, but Stacy was having none of it. “No, don’t look at her. I’m her mama. You look at me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You looked over at her as she fought the smile that tried to make it’s way onto her face. This was simply a scare tactic.

“You listen here and you listen good. You take care of my grand baby, you hear. You wanna stay and be a father, you stay no matter how hard it gets. You wanna go home and send a check, you make that choice soon. You aren’t gunna go in and out of my girls lives, you understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Ye done tryin’ ta scare him off, Stace?” She glanced over at you and scowled until you stuck your tongue out at her. With a laugh, she nodded and stuck out her hand.

“Stacy Bishop. I’m (Y/N)’s unofficial road mother. My husband, Todd’s back there.”

“They basically adopted me when I first started out. I couldn’t figure out my old generator and Todd came over and helped. They’ve been keepin’ an eye out for me ever since.” You stepped closer to him and put up your hand as if you were telling a secret. “Don’t let the act fool ya. She’s as mild as a house cat on catnip.” He chuckled and nodded as Stacy glared at you, playfully.

“I’m a vicious mama bear. Come on, my child. Todd’s got hotdogs and hamburgs on the fire.” You nodded and headed around the front end of her RV. Tink had sprawled herself out like a frog on the green, fake grass carpet Stacey kept in front of her rig with a giant bone in-between her front paws.

“Ain’t even been here five minutes and you’re already spoilin’ her.” You said with a laugh as Todd pulled a hamburger patty from the grill over the fire pit. He stood up and gave you a one armed hug before going back to lunch.

“And we’re spoiling you today, too. Hit up the post office last night and the main store here and picked up the boxes you had there. The whole back end of my house if full of boxes for you.” You smiled over at him as you moved over to take ‘your seat’.

“Well thank ya, kindly. So introductions, this is Chibs; baby daddy who hunted me down in the middle of a rain storm from California. Says he’s sticking around to be a daddy so y’all be nice.” Todd looked up at him over his glasses and narrowed his eyes.

“You got good intentions, boy?” He snapped. You groaned and rolled your eyes.

“See, this is why I’ve stayed single. Y’all are horrible.” Chibs nodded as he took a seat next to you by the fire.

“M’ ex took m’ first daugh’a away from me when she was just a wee bairn. I’ven’t seen her since. I won’ walk away from m’child ‘gain.” Todd and Stacy exchanged a side eyed glance before nodding subtly and changing the subject.

“So you still thinking about going up in size with your RV?” Todd asked as Stacy handed you a full plate of food. You shrugged, noncommittally.

“Been thinking about it for six months. If I find someone to buy the Lagoon, yea probably.”

“Well, you remember that guy David, right? He was filming that documentary about living on the road for a year for the RV company? He had that 5th wheel with the garage door in the back. Well, he’s done filming and the people that gave him the RV don’t really want it back. So he asked us if we wanted to keep it at our daughters as a back-up but we just bought this one…”

“He’s giving it away?” You asked incredulously. Todd and Stacy exchanged a half second, barely noticeable glance and nodded.

“Yep, just giving it away. He’s driving home tomorrow. We were just waiting for you to get here so we could borrow your truck…” You nodded slowly as you chewed the bite of burger you had in your mouth. You casually crossed your legs and leaned your arms forward on them as far as your baby bump would allow and arched your eyebrow.

“So, what y’all are tellin’ me is that David… the most money hungry man I’ve ever met, is just… givin’ away the forty-five thousand dollar Venom toy hauler that KZ has had on the RV app for the past four months? They just up an’ decided ta give it away.”

“I told you she would see it there!” Stacy said as she whacked her husband’s arm.

“Stacy Ann.” Todd said as he looked at his wife with an annoyed face. He sighed and looked back up at you. “Look. You’re taking the damn RV. We bought it for you, we kept the four wheeler as part of the money and we’ll take the Lagoon and see it for you to make up for the rest.” Your face contorted into a look of anger and confusion as you shook your head.

“In what world do you think that them damn things are even keel?” You snapped. “There’s at least a fifteen thousand…”

“And we used what we had left over from out old rig.” Stacy said.

“Look, I’m an old man so I’m not playing this back and forth ‘it’s too much’, ‘take the present’, ‘no’ ‘yes’ bullshit.” Todd said as he pulled the hotdogs off the grill and put them on a plate, mocking your accent and Stacy’s voice as he spoke. He sat back in his chair, set down the plate on his table and grabbed the bag of marshmallows and pointed to you with them. “Take the damn RV. I will not let you raise that baby in the Lagoon and that’s final, we clear?” You nodded and pinched your lips together to try to hide your smile.

“Yes, sir.” He nodded and gestured in the direction of your RV.

“Dip shit left last week. Company’s been paid, it has all new locks and the keys are on the counter in my kitchen. We scrubbed it from top to bottom twice for ya, too. We’ll help you move all your stuff after lunch because I’m not paying a whole other day for a spot we don’t need. We’ll tow the Lagoon to Carol’s before dark.” Tears welled in your eyes as you handed Chibs your plate and stood up. Todd stood up and pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you.” He nodded against the side of your head and rubbed your back.

“Anything for you, kiddo.” He moved his hands to your shoulders and pulled you back a bit. “Carol and Mike chipped in, too. It’s from all of us. And… KZ dropped five grand off the price because I promised them you would promote them and the damned documentary when it comes out. I have the guy’s card because he’d like to talk to you as well.” You huffed a laugh and nodded as you wiped away the tears that escaped.

“Y’all are too good too me.” You stepped over to Stacy. She shook her head and she hugged you tight.

“No, baby. That’s what families do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So the fans want a ‘Chibs’ video.” You said as you read over comments on your last video as he drove you and ‘the Palace’, which felt like unnecessary the Taj Mahal of RV’s (with a much better bed, so you weren’t complaining) to your next campground. “But then you’d have ta have a ‘bloody camera in your face'.” He glanced over at your mocking and pointed at the GoPro that was attached to the handle in front of him with the straightest face he could muster.

“When’s it not, luv?” You giggled and shrugged your shoulder.

“You know’s well as I do that I don’t put you in my videos unless I tell you.” You leaned to your side and grabbed one of your many GoPro cameras from the middle console. You held it out to show him you were planning on recording before flipping it on. “So, what will you tell the masses, Chibby?” He glanced over at you and sighed.

“Yer lucky I cain’t run ‘way, right now, luv.” You reached over and gently pushed his shoulder with your fingertips.

“Hun…” He groaned heavily and glanced at the GPS. He had an hour and twenty five minutes until the next camp ground in Oklahoma and even though he had been with you for only a month, he knew you wouldn’t let up until he gave in.

“Fine.” He glanced over at your award winning smile; a smile he was coming to look forward to seeing every day, and nodded. “Wha’ do ye wan’ ta know?”

“Well… how are ya likin’ the RV life so far? How does it compare ta the MC life?” He chuckled and shook his head.

“Much more relaxed.” He glanced over at you and you nodded, reassuringly for him to go on. “’s’weird. Still not sure it feels real yet.” He sighed and glanced over at you. “Can I be ‘onest wit’ ye?” You nodded and rested the camera on your bump. He licked his lips and focused intently on the road ahead.

“I nev’a thought I’d do this ‘gain… the fath’a thing. Afta Kerrianne, the idea just never seemed possible. But then ye ‘appened… and our lit’l Avery ‘appened… it just… felt right. There was so much shite goin’ on with the club an’ I felt like I was drownin’ wit’ no end in sight… escapin’ ta this life seemed like the only way ta keep m’head in more way than one. But yer not just an escape, not like I thought. I jus’ thought I’d… shit, I don’ really know what I thought comin’ out ‘ere. But it’s betta. So much betta than I thought it would be.” He glanced over at you from the corner of his eye with a small smile and bobbed his head. “Yer a sweet girl, luv. An’ I don’ think I could ask for a betta part’na in this.” He looked over at you and his face contorted into concern. “Luv, why are ye cryin’?”

“’s’so beautiful!” You choked as you wiped the tears off your cheeks. He started to chuckle and you forced a scowl. “Shut up! I’m pregnant!” He reached across the console, took your hand and squeezed it gently.

“Sorry, luv.” He squeezed your hand but didn’t let it go. You smiled and moved your fingers to lace with his.

“Guess we’re gunna have ta come up with something else for a Chibs video.” He chuckled and nodded.

“Aye, guess yer right.”

——

“Wha’ do ye wan’ for dinn’a, luv?” Chibs asked as he put two large logs on the fire. You shrugged as you checked to make sure your RV was level on the fancy app on your iPad.

“Pickles.” He laughed and shook his head.

“Ye eat anymore damn pickles, yer gun’ turn in ta one. ’s’all ye’ve eaten this week.” You scowled and pointed at your baby bump.

“Blame her. Actually, blame you! You’re the one who bought the damn thing ta try at that thingy-ma-jig up yonder in the first place.” He laughed and looked over at you with a shake of his head.

“I feel like yer Southern is getting more an’ more Southern the more pregnant ye get. It’s like…”

“You finish that sentence an’ I’ll cancel your birth certificate, Filip.” He laughed and held up his hands.

“How ‘bout I make m’ favorite, then, aye?” You nodded at him as he stood up beside the fire and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He glanced over at Tinkerbell, who was waiting patiently at the RV door to be let out. “She OK ta come out, luv?” You glanced away from your iPad, where you were checking your RV’s water levels, and nodded.

“Put her sweater on. Suppost’a get cold t’night.” He stopped part way to the door to look at you and shook his head.

“She’s a dog…”

“She’s my fur child and you will put the damn coat on her because she’s a big baby in the cold.”

“She’s a spoilt brat’s what she is.” You rolled your eyes and headed over to your seat by the fire with a smile on your face. “Come ‘ere, Tink’a’bell. Yer moth’a wants ye in yer coat, yer gettin’ yer coat.” You turned on the outside lights and the music and finally settled back into your chair as Tink came flying out of the RV only to come to a dead stop on the too cold for her feet ground. It was only in the sixties but you would think Tinkerbell thought it was sixty below. She started to whine and ran back into the RV. You looked up at Chibs smugly and crossed your ankles by the fire.

“Told ya, she’s a baby.”

“Ye’re not ta spoil our daught’a like tha’.” He said as he headed inside to make dinner.

“You think so. Ain’t you looked in the garage past few days? Ain’t nothin’ but baby stuff an’ a motorcycle.” He poked his head out the door and cocked his eyebrow at you.

“‘ow are ye wit’ spicy t’day, lass?” You shrugged as you rubbed your hand over your baby bump.

“Alright. Not too much though. Oh! Could you maybe bring me a blanket please when ya got a sec?” He nodded and stepped back into the RV, returning with a blanket and a glass of sweet tea a few moments later.

“Now, ye stay out ‘ere unless absolutely necessary. No peakin’.” You giggled and nodded at him as he arranged the blanket on your lap.

“No peakin’. Swear.”

——

“‘ey sleepy ‘ead.” You woke with a start and nearly threw your now tea soaked blanket into the fire. A startled yelp escaped your lips, causing Tink to lurch to her feet in the RV and bark twice in confused protection. “‘ey, jus’ me. Ye’re a’right, m’luv.” When you realized you were OK, you scowled and punched Chibs in the arm.

“I have mind ta tan your ass! Scarin’ a sleepin’, pregnant woman awake. Hell is wrong with you?” He bit his lip painfully hard to keep from laughing.

“‘m’sorry, sweetheart. I really didn’t mean ta scare ye. I called out ta ya. Dinn’a’s ready.” He offered you his hand and you took a moment to slow your heart rate and sooth your kicking daughter.

“Scared us half ta death.” You took his hand and let him pull you up out of the chair. His arm slid around your shoulder as you shivered in your wet outfit.

“Let’s get ye in ta somethin’ dry, then we’ll ‘ave dinn’a. Maybe s’mores ova the fire afta will get Tink outta the ‘ouse, too.” You nodded as you headed up the metal steps but paused in the doorway. You inhaled deeply and were assaulted with a tantalizing mix of onions, peppers, meat, spices and tomatoes. A smile spread across your face and your stomach growled loudly.

“Chili?” You asked as you glanced from the large pot on the stove back to him. He smiled and nodded his head.

“One a m’ favorites.” You nodded and tried to fight back tears.

“Mine too.” You squeaked. He chuckled and gently moved you toward the bedroom as he stepped into the RV.

“‘ope I did it justice. Now, no cryin’, luv. Go change outta those wet clothes so we can eat.”

“OK.” You squeaked as you let him turn you toward the room. You barely heard his chuckle over your sniffle as he went to serve two bowl before starting up the fireplace.

——

You had been awake for nearly an hour as Avery kicked her little heart out, practicing her current life goal of becoming a professional drummer. She had only started really kicking on a steady basis two weeks before at the beginning of your seventh month so you couldn’t be that mad at her. You were, however, beginning to approach the point of exhaustion. Out of no where, Chibs, who you hadn’t consciously, realized had his hand on your hip and his arm across your stomach, gently slid his hand down to your stomach.

“‘ey in there.” He whispered quietly as he scooted a little ways down the bed as carefully as possible. “Wha’s going on with m’ lit’l girl, hmm?” He found where his daughter was kicking and slid his calloused hand across the spot. Avery’s kicking stopped and she shifted toward her father’s hand. You could hear the smile in his voice as he continued talking to her.

“Tha’s m’girl. Keep kickin’ like tha’ ye’ll wake yer mum. An’ we don’ wan’ ta do tha’, now, do we? Between ye an’ me, she tends ta get a lit’l feisty when she first wakes up. Still cute as a button, though.” You smiled in the dark room as Chibs shifted on the bed to get a bit more comfortable. “I ‘ope ye look like ‘er, m’ li’l Avery Lynn. You’d be the mos’ beautiful lit’l girl in the world jus’ like yer mum.” He leaned forward on the bed and gently kissed your stomach. “Sleep now, mo ghaol. Sleep now.”

“What did you call her?” You said softly as he kissed your stomach once more. He looked up at you with a smile and scooted back up the bed.

“Mo ghaol. It’s ‘my love’ in Gaelic.” You nodded at him as he slid his hand back up to your hip. “Did I wake ye, luv?” You shook your head against the pillow and shifted a bit on the bed.

“No. I’ve been up. Kinda hard ta sleep when you got Ringo Starr’s prodigy practicin’ her moves on your belly button.” He huffed a laugh and nodded as he reached up and brushed your hair off your face.

“Can I kiss ye, luv?” You nodded against his fingertips and leaned toward him with a smile. His lips were softer than you remembered but the gentleness was still there. He shifted forward and pressed his body as close to yours as physically possible. There was no urgency, no desperation behind it as you gave his tongue access to your mouth. You slid your arm around his waist and put your leg over his hip. Both his hands slid around to your back and a small, content moan vibrated against your lips. When the need for air became necessary, he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“Betta than I rememb’a.” He said softly. You nodded in agreement as he gave you one more chaste kiss.

“Night, baby.” He smiled and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Good nigh’, luv.”

Part 3

#Chibs x Reader #Life On The Road

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shhhselah · 6 years ago

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Mack Daddy OG BooThang

Sunday, January 20, 2019

1:28am

Pretty, isn’t it?

It’s the kind of place I’d imagine going on a honeymoon. Like, what man is going to take me here, and where he at? Cause no, really....where he at though?

Ya know, I realized something a little while ago. Like, legit just a few minutes ago lol. It’s a prayer I’ve prayed for years, but am finally in a place to receive and see it. Check this out, y’all:

God is dumb romantic and He’s like....the greatest player of all time. Except God ain’t no player. Oh no, baby, no. He’s the whole GAME.

And you know what?

He’s playing for keeps.

Yeah. That’s right. You heard me. Peep the title. Y’all thought that was just to draw you in? Tuh. (It was.) But I was being oh so sincere and trying to let y’all in on the real. God got the game on lock, because He is the game....and the lock for that matter! Lemme break it down, aite?

Ladies. What do we want in a man? That varies, I know; but essentially, we want a man who will protect us and provide for us. Someone who will pay us attention and take us out, who will make us feel special, who will open up and be vulnerable with us. A gentleman, who will love us unconditionally and make us laugh. Someone who can lead, who is observant and honest, kind (and a little dangerous/edgy, shhhhh), and who can cook and dress. Someone who we can be our most authentic, vulnerable, chill selves with and shares our same beliefs values and principles. Right?

And fellas. What do y’all want? Lemme see. A woman who is strong yet submissive- can cook, bake, and clean properly; take care of the kids, keep a job, and have her own ambitions; stay loyal and true; be willing to talk, listen and just be silent at times; can kill any outfit, kick it with the fellas (and actually fit in), be secure in her place and not jealous (but a slight attitude is fine cause y’all love a challenge and bit of fiestiness); and shares your beliefs, values and principles.

We both love a lover who can not only balance, but challenge us and make us better. Cause, at the end of the day, your partner is a God-given tool used to continue to shape, prune and grow you. (And give you comfort, but the list goes on, so moving forward.) Isn’t it amazing that God encompasses all of those qualities?

Selah.

Think about it.

How romantic is God? He is so ready to sweep us off our feet (man and woman). He wants to woo us and take us out on lavish dates. He desires to fly us out to exotic places and teach us new languages. He loves to listen to us rant and rave, vent and process, reflect and respond. He adores Netflix and chilling with us! He taught you how to be fly. He gave you the courage to start that new fashion trend. Honey, He blessed those meals you thought were about to be trash lol. He constantly, constantly constantly desires to be around us and watch us, listen to us and talk with us. So yes, He wants to take you on dates and take care of you while you’re sick and whisper sweet nothings to you. He promises to heal you and lift you up when you’re down and spoil you abundantly.

Fellas, He protects you and rides with you, stays loyal and true to you- stays silent when you don’t wanna talk and inputs when you need to hear it. He guides you, even when you- metaphorically and literally speaking- don’t wanna stop and ask for some got dang directions. He’s the reason you have drive and motivation, suave and swag. Please. Y’all thought y’all taught y’allselves that. Go sit down.

The Lord is on a mission to love us, and love us fully. He did it when He died on the cross and raised Himself back up and opened His arms for us to run into. But everyday, He wants to start anew.

This is something He showed me a week ago and it is so beautifully mind blowing- *inserts journal entry here*:

(Sunday, January 13, 2019- 9:27pm)

Jesus calls us His bride. And....I like that. Yeah. It feels indicative of something. Like, after marriage, we stop saying "Bride," and switch to "Wife." For some, this is an honor- a time of transition and settling into what's finally permanent. It’s like, for years (or months) you all have been building up to this point, and it's finally here. “She is my wife now. Officially. Forever more.” And that's super exciting!! Super giddy and inspiring! But it was something about a deacon at my God sisters’ church, calling his wife his “bride-” after 8 months of marriage- that really got me. Something about that word usage really struck me. It reminded me that Jesus has never called us His “Wife.” But His Bride. The Bride of Christ. Bone of His bone. Flesh of His flesh. It's kinda like He's telling us that He's always in the honeymoon period with us. That our reunion with Him is always and will forever be fresh to Him. Everyday we are at the first day, the big day- standing right there at the altar. And you know what, at first, I low key felt like that was because He recognized how fragile human loyalty is. He knows how temporary the flesh and its decisions are. It's like Jesus officially calling Simon, "Peter." Graduating him from Flimsy Reed (which is what “Simon” means in Hebrew), to Rock (what Peter means in Hebrew). And that graduation only came because of the Father's influence, revelation and power. By his-self, Simon wasn't enough to become Peter. The reed could not transform into the rock without the Potter making another vessel out of the clay. Jesus told him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 16:17) Only God's power could bring about the upgrade, the transformation. And like us, without God, we can't be consistent and sturdy, set like rock. We're too flimsy! So Jesus calls us His "bride," because everyday is the wedding day with us! To me, it seemed that He called us this because everyday is a choice to not run from the altar and this union, to stay united and faithful. To not divorce or cheat with other desires and opportunities and people. But then I realized something. He accepts us afresh and gives us His, "I do," every single day. It's why the Word says His mercies are afresh each morning. Because His “I do” for us is afresh and renewed every morning. Calling us His bride isn't really about our flimsiness, but His willingness and desire to stick by us, no matter if we run. So yeah, everyday we can choose to not leave the altar, but, ultimately, His love is what keeps us from running and what brings us back even when we do! His arms are always open. It's His kindness that leads us unto repentance. So yeah. We are His bride because He marries us and our issues, our shortcomings and flaws and everything stinky, "ugly," evil, weak, and broken in us every day. He says "Yes. I do." with joy overwhelming. Every. Single. Time. His joy never dims. His Yes never dims. Unto eternity.

What a Sweetheart He is, right? Yeah. God looks at you- yes men, you too- and sees His bride, the church. And every single moment of the day, He gives us His unfailing, fully devoted, enthusiastic, “Yes! I do!” And it will never die. It will never fade. It will never lose that enthusiasm.

Have you ever felt like you were too much for someone (or the world) and yet simultaneously felt like you just weren’t enough? I have. Often. But that feeling is so against what God intended for me or any of us to feel. God isn’t afraid of your scars. He isn’t afraid of your “ugly side,” your vulnerability or anger, your past or your addictions. He isn’t afraid of your sex life or your cussing habits, your jail time or your insecurities and need for control. He’s not intimidated by you. He isn’t overwhelmed or disgusted by you.

He wants to spit game to you all day, everyday. Game that will have you leaving them boys and birds alone and settle in for 7:30pm Bible Study on Tuesday night cause ain’t nothing sweeter than your God’s presence. Game that will have you looking at these dudes’ pick up lines like dog poop, cause you’ve read Songs of Solomon. Aaaaannd you let the Lord reveal to you what He thinks about you, so they 3 seconds of acknowledging your fat booty or “gorgeous smile,” just don’t measure up.

I’m telling y’all, God is spitting game at y’all that will give you wisdom and skills to get a promotion at ya job. Who you know that can do that??? What book did you read, what girl did you date, what club did you go to, what sport did you play that gave you the discernment, skills, confidence, and Holy Spirit advantage to go up the ranks at your work place and achieve your dreams while getting checks and coin? Huh? Huh? Huh? Okay cool. I’ll wait.List em out below, please.

All I’m saying y’all, is that God really is the OG Mack Daddy Boo Thang forreal!

He’s a, “Foreva eva? Foreva eva eva eva?” “True playa forreal, that’s my homie forreal,” sort of love.

Read the Songs of Solomon and just peep the Shakespearean game this King of all kings is throwing down. Read the Proverbs and the Psalms and the Gospel and just know how your Bae looks at you.

How He tweaks for you to call on Him. The way His eyes twinkle when He hears your voice or your laugh. Educate yourself on His promises to rain down only the best on you like His name was Ashanti. Research His promises to do right by you, make you better, and luv you betta like His name is LL Cool J. Cause you know Ladies Love Cool Jesus. Let yourself be whisked away on the greatest bae-cation of ya life.

Because everyday will be the honeymoon when it’s #BooThangAndYou.

Selah.

*Oo, and sidenote: Ladies, stop calling these fools “daddy,” and get with the real Zaddy. Okay? Bloop bloop.

#mack daddy og #boo thang #God #true playa forreal #Daddy #Zaddy #don't miss out #selah

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years ago

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Criminal Minds s02e14 The Big Game review - or more aptly named, the episode that has my brain spinning like a fucking dreidel and makes me go what the actual fuck and why is James van der Beek a crazy psycho and how dare they jeopardize my feelings like this? Assholes.

Episode 14 – The Big Game

Hey guys! So I’m back from work, and ready to rock and roll with the team of superheroes. This episode suggests that it’s centered around some type of sport, considering it’s America, it’s bound to be football, or baseball, or basketball, or anything really, damn, Americans do love their spectator sports.

Oh well, let’s see what happens.

And I nailed it! Football! Superbowl? Oh damn. Are they going to kill an NFL player?

Oh, no, it’s just the TV. Okay.

Ooh, creepy stalker. Should be interesting.

Okay, so we heard two voices. Is one coercing the other one to kill them? Oh damn.

Hey. Wasn’t the back door closed before? Hmm. Spooky.

They have a cleaning lady for their home? Privileged fucks.

He’s calling in a 911 call to tell them that Raphael is going to kill those people because they have too much stuff? Oh god. And then Raphael kills them. Oh crap.

Okay, Superbowl party. Okay.

Oh damn! Derek dancing. Oh shit. Fuck!

I’m with you, Penelope, I’m drooling with you all over that hunk of yummy chocolate, too.

Hahaha, oh Emily I love you. Warning Derek against his wallet falling out and then Derek is all like, “That’s all right, I’ll be a broke, happy man.” Oh damn.

Oh damn. That was so hot. And it’s so not nice of Emily to dig on Derek like that. He’s a smooth, yummy, sexy cat and I could watch him all night long. Rawr.

Hahahah Hotch is taking Hayley to dance, aww.

Wait, JJ can play darts? Awesome.

“You’re gonna have to find someone else to humiliate you.” Oh my god, I just fell in love with JJ all over again.

Ha! Reid playing drinking games with geek friends is everything.

Oh my goodness, that was the most amazing 3 minutes ever.

What is Gideon looking at? And I love him whistling. Damn.

Bird pictures? Seriously?

He’s a bird enthusiast. Good to know.

Why are they showing us the unsub’s face? What is going on here? They don’t usually do that in this show. What’s up?

“You know, it never fails. Just as I’m getting my groove thing going, bam, we’re back at the BAU.” Oh my god, someone arrest this man for being too hot.

Penelope knows what I’m talking about.

Oh my god, Emily is such a sassy kitten, I love her. “So, is it really that hard to get your groove thang going on again?” oh my god, that is just mean, girl.

In 4.26 minutes, “Raphael” managed to butcher the two people like crazy and disappeare before the police showed up? Oh dang.

Mission-based killers. Fuck.

God, I hate this Raphael dude. He is one sick asshole. Poor guy.

What the fuck do farm animals have to do with anything?

Whoa, is that the guy’s daddy? Oh boy. Did he just poke him with white-hot metal? Oh my god, someone stop this asshole! Shit!

His daddy burnt a cross on his forehead? How messed up did he turn out?

Okay. That was 11 minutes before the show opening started. Oh shit. This is gonna be an intense one.

Perry Smith: “I didn’t have anything against them, and they never did anything wrong to me, the way other people have all my life. Maybe they’re just the ones who have to pay for it.” Oh crap, I really don’t like the sound of this quote, it definitely sets a tone to the entire episode that leaves me spooked.

“Ever so welcome, my liege.” Oh Penelope, you silly goose.

Wait. All of a sudden Gideon is tired of cases that happen due to people blaming religion on their actions? Damn.

Hey! This detective was the guy who didn’t want to pursue the case of the frozen lady in the first season of Castle! Hey, dude!

Prentiss, how are you not phased by this grossness? Gross.

So it could be a hunter or a farmer who knew how to drain the body of blood. Gross.

Oh JJ, you charmer.

Oh my god, Derek in those doctor sock-baggie things is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Wait, Garcia just got a viral video of the murder? Oh shit. He’s actually filming that crap? Why? What does he have to gain from that? Oh my god, that is so sick.

He hacked their laptop and manipulated their camera? Oh god.

So he can see into the PD because they took the laptop with them? Oh god, how can they be so stupid?

He turned off the computer so they cannot access them? Seriously paranoid.

People think this shit is cool? Seriously? It’s really sick.

So he works at a computer service company? So he has access to computers? Oh my god, that is seriously sick.

Okay. That’s one guy entering the house. How can there be more than one person talking then? This doesn’t make sense. And he’s calling 911 again? What the fuck is wrong you, asshole?

Okay, so they have a witness and they didn’t get a description. Yikes. But he says there was only one guy. Interesting.

And there’s another murder, this time reported in by Raphael himself. And this time they cut the male’s throat? What the fuck? Oh, the victim was the local handyman? So his wife was supposed to be home, and the handyman wasn’t even supposed to be there? So he’s abducted her because she cheated on her husband with the handyman. Damn.

So he’s trying to punish those who have sinned? Oh god, that is seriously sick.

“Jeez, don’t you people answer your cell phones anymore?” I love you, Garcia.

Oh god, the daddy was so psychotic he drowned his dad in the tub as ‘batpism’?

Oh my god, Penelope, I love you so much, you are absolutely precious and I’m so, so sorry you had to witness those dogs tear that girl to pieces.

Wait, the detective can recognize the dogs because they attacked someone before but he didn’t press charges against the dogs? Oh damn.

Hey! That’s James Van Der Beek! Oh my god, you’re so cute!!!!!!

Wait, he’s 30 and lives with his daddy? That psycho is still alive? Oh god.

Wait, did Reid really have to pee or was he just playing Hankle?

Wait, why is Hankle denying having called the police?

Oh shit, he was timing their response calls? Oh you sick, sick, sick puppy, Toby.

Wait, where is Reid going now?

Oh, you smart peeping Tom. Oh shit, Toby can see him! Shit! Wait, Toby is running away!

And they finally found him out! Boo yah! Boy genius and cutie blondie on the go.

And they can’t call in anyone. Great.

Wait. They split up? Oh god, bad idea, Reid. For a genius, you’re an idiot.

Yeah, like she can hear him from that far.

Why would Reid go into the corn field alone? That’s like the worst plot of a horror film that I’ve ever heard of, can’t say I’ve seen, cuz I hate horror movies.

Shit. JJ just stepped on something that made noise. Oh god, that’s just gross, that’s a puddle of gross blood. ew. And those are hungry dogs! Shit! Run, Reid, save JJ! Fast!

Oh shit! He just knocked out my little genius.

Wait. What? Those two people speaking are the same guy? It’s Hankle? His daddy is really dead and he’s just imitating his dad? Oh my god. That’s the sickest fucking thing in the world.

And turns out he’s abducted my pretty boy genius? Oh god. Oh god.

Okay, so this episode just went haywire in all directions. This Toby Hankle dude is insane as fuck! And James van der Beek is an amazing actor and more people should appreciate that cute puppy. Also, who the fuck said that hot FBI detectives can’t rock crime scene baggie booties? Cuz Derek Morgan sure can XD. What’s not cool is that they think it’s ok to leave a cliff hanger where Reid is abducted by that crazy psycho loony Hankle. Not cool. At all. I’m anxious. So I’m gonna see the next episode and let you all see what happens tomorrow. Though you’ve probably already seen it, in which case – SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Don’t you dare spoil it for me.

Love ya, see y’all tomorrow to find out what happens to pretty boy genius. <3

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auburnfamilynews · 7 years ago

Link

In a way, night away games that I don’t attend are very stressful. Yes, you finally get to watch some other football games for once, but the stress of sitting there thinking about what Auburn is going to do that night is a lot for me. I shouldn’t have been stressed. See the amount of tweets. That means I wasn’t worrying a lot once the game started. Figure out was I talking about in my no-context tweets below. It was fun. Follow me.

GAMEDAY BAAAABBBBBBAAAAYYYYY!!!! #auburn #wareagle #BeatMissouri http://pic.twitter.com/5zsYXAx9FF

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Tonight in Missouri, Auburn just needs to DO THE DANG THANG, amirite?! Preview: http://bit.ly/2xAXSa2 #wareagle http://pic.twitter.com/5IQbCV36xZ

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

My last two game previews have included the words “slang,” “dang,” and “thang.” I am cultured. #auburn #wareagle

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

The same people that are concerned with division in our country are the same people that get mad at others for putting ketchup on a hot dog.

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

“See.” –@colecubelic

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Everybody is telling you that you’re good, the #1 team is in town, and that’s your attendance, Vandy? Boy, if you didn’t have smarts…

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Vandy ain’t getting no points today. http://pic.twitter.com/bbc3evrA4U

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

That looks like a graveyard of old dumpster fires. http://bit.ly/2wRFxC3

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Seriously, what was in all of those empty tubs? Was ’Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze’ shot in CoMo?! http://pic.twitter.com/igXBwT2oAw

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Maybe we can slow down a little bit on 3-game analysis, or maybe look at who somebody beat before 3-0 means CBS comes to town.

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

#ItJustMeansMore

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Tonight, the Stormtroopers take CoMo. #auburn #wareagle http://pic.twitter.com/859ML8yF0X

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Lehgo. #auburn #wareagle

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Yeah, that easy every time please. 7-0. #auburn #wareagle

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Yeah, that easy every time please. 14-0. #auburn #wareagle

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

The numbers on the 50 yard line are TERRIBLE. http://bit.ly/2xAKVwV

— WarBlogle.com (@WarBlogle) September 23, 2017

Wow.