#finally a review of smth ive read or watched

[blinkbones]

not too surprising for the creature enthusiast and linguist* that i am but i really enjoyed everything that had to do with interspecies relations in spaceman (2024). spoilers ofc. i thought it was so efficient to combine the visual of a spider with a soothing voice. if the audience had only been me, i think i would have preferred a much more offputting voice and stranger speech patterns (if only an accent! gimme a weirdass accent), but for a movie meant to be seen by many people -- who are not all creature enthusiasts and linguists -- it makes sense to do it that way. i think the spider has a decent chance to gain the affection of all of its audience, despite being so nosy and many-armed. i was so delighted that the final hug was shown like any other hug, while not shying away from the foreignness of the creature. idk man, that's just my favorite thing; to find tenderness in the offputting. as for the movie as a whole, i think it's really quite decent. i enjoyed it even though the theme of the decaying marriage is very far from my own concerns. that's the beauty of good art, right? makes you feel different things, or through a different lens. The narrative structure was satisfying to see unfold; the water symbolism easy to piece together -- and that was relaxing for me personally lol

*asterisk because i have impostor syndrome and it feels extremely presumptuous to call myself a linguist when ive only been studying & working with language for the entirety of my adult life

[employee052]

ozzies long-ass TSP ramble

For context, a few days ago i was in a thinky mood when i watched this video on Valve catwalks. it mentioned death of the author, and while ive heard of it, I didnt understand what it meant until after the video explained it. So i got thinking. the following was a series of messages I sent to my friends on a discord server im in (with the exception of the last part bc i just thought of it now even tho im sick) that i compiled for yall into sections so its easier to read. these are just my thoughts and could be totally wrong, i just wanted to share aksjdh :P (plus this is my second time im posting this so there might be some inconsistencies)

(ramble under the cut so yall dont get a massive wave of text on your dash)

"smth smth death of the author smth smth reviews smth smth interpretations smth smth skip button"

like idk if this was obvious to everyone else n im just finally getting it or not, but the skip button ending being about the narrator seeing the negative reviews causing him to create the button in order to appease them, which said reviews ended up making him believe he was being preachy and obnoxious and unfunny, but as a result, he ends up believing it and trying to appease those interpretations rather than be more confident of his dialogue and what it means to him(whatever he may believe) and ending up dying at the end bc of it being a kind of literal version a death of an author of sorts

---

im just thinking about how timekeeper/settings person/432/whatever is really only interested in the player, but not stanley himself. and if the narrator ends up dying (or decaying at least in my interpretation) during the skip button, could the same be said about stanley as a character as well?

like we never see stanleys model as us, we dont see his feet when we look down, and the only time we see him in game is either as a hand during the bucket escape pod ending, the mariella endings, and the not stanley ending. and the last two are cutscenes. for all we know, stanley could have died at some point during the skip button after the narrator did and we would never know bc we cant see him

but since 432's desk being at the end of the epilogue which happens post skip button ending, i would have said that was the first time we ever see him interact with the game internally rather than asking for the time. but i do remember someone suggesting that the timekeeper was the one who removed the door in the skip button in order to kill the narrator off and get stanley/the player away from him in order to talk more

with that thought in mind, that would mean TK had to kill stanley and the narrator off in order to be able to lead the game, push beyond the barriers of a narrator and character and just talk to the player, one on one

---

it makes me wonder if what the curator said in the museum ending holds more weight

like, she talks to the player as well. both she and TK talk to the player themselves instead of stanley the character. and when she says "When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?"

stanley's function is a character in the narrators story, a literary device to propel the game forward. the narrator makes the race track, and stanley drives. without the narrator where would stanley go or do, without stanley who would move the story along?

"Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen."

and yet, hes dead, just like the curator said. because no matter what, he's never going to be able to truly make his own decisions. the confusion ending lays out how all the endings are scripted despite what the narrator believes and acts, its all predetermined.

and in a sense, the narrators dead too. no matter what stanley tries to do to change the story, or the narrator changes to the game in order for stanley to react to, its been planned long in advance for the eventuality. every word, every event. and with stanley's deaths, it ends up just bringing them back to the beginning again, "What exactly did the Narrator think he was going to accomplish?" if they always come back to the same preplanned paths, to the illusion of free will, it doesnt matter regardless. death doesnt become a statement, it becomes an inconvenience.

"But listen to me, you can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail. Push escape, and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game. As long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now, and it'll be your only true choice."

The only way to save both Stanley and The Narrator is by not letting the story play out to begin with. To beat the game, which means to let the game end after you win.

and yet,

the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is neve-

In a game where there is no ending that stops the game in its entirety, where everything will keep on happening again and again and the end is never the end, the only way to beat it is to make a choice as yourself the player, not stanley the character.

because he doesnt get a choice, the narrator doesnt get a choice. they think they do, but they dont. the only way to beat the game is to not play it. (which makes sense given that there are achievements involving not playing the game in both the 2013 HD remaster and 2022 Ultra Deluxe)

both Stanley and The Narrator are two sides of the same coin that make up The Stanley Parable, and the only way to use the coin is to give it away.

maybe thats why the true ending of the game with credits and stuff like that, is the Not Stanley Ending.

You the player have successfully broken the fourth wall from the outside in, even though that ending was planned like all the others (ie, the game allowing you to disconect the phone), you break the illusion of being stanley the character, which the game ends up booting you out of stanley as it cant handle the "narrative contradiction".

maybe thats why the escape pod ending has the sign that reads "both the player and the narrator must be present in order to leave". its not stanley, its the player, us.

maybe thats why that ending is one of the most cruel. the only way to get there is to leave the narrator trapped in the boss' office. there's no way to get him to the escape pod. the end is never the end.

---

(this part was the new idea i just had today so this might not make sense i appologize)

going back to the beginning of this ramble about the death of the author and such. perhaps there is a way to get the narrator out.

with thoughts about interpretations and with he idea of the "death of the author", all of us have our own interpretations of the TSP characters. whether its design, or relationship wise, or characterization, or what have you. The Narrator in my head is different from you reading this, and that narrator is different from another persons perspective, and definitely our narrators are different to the one that lives in Davey Wreden's head, or Kevan Brighting, or anyone who has even heard of the stanley parable.

and that's not a bad thing! there can be many similarities to the characters that our interpretations share, some more common than others and some that make no sense at all, but for the most part we all have different interpretations of the characters.

I read a book called Book Simulator (The Reader's guide to not reading) by Chris Yee on stream once. The VOD is gone now. But I discovered the book because I heard the guy writing/the narrator of sorts for the book was written like the Stanley Parable Narrator.

It didnt help that Kevan brighting voiced over the commercial for it too askjdh

but back to the book. this will contain somewhat spoilers for it since it brings up a moment at the end of the book so feel free to stop here if you dont want to be spoiled

---

basically, in Book Simulator, Booksi (The book's instructional narrator on how to fake read at the start of the book) is arguing with The Narrator (no not ours, but the general narrator who speaks in the third person), however, its revealed by The Narrator that Booksi has a plan to take over the world by inhabiting more book simulators and distributing them across the world. But, the reader could kill off the booksi that they have in their hands that they are reading, to quote:

"Or was he the original Booksi? Maybe not. Maybe the original Booksi had been vanquished long ago, and the reader was now facing one of the many copies roaming the world. Both Booksi and the Narrator knew the answer to this question, but neither would reveal the truth."

---

Taking from Book Simulator the concept of multiple iterations of one character existing in different copies of the media they originate from, maybe in a way that's how the Narrator may die in the stanley parable, forever stuck to repeat the same endings with the illusion of free will, but he lives on somewhat for everyone that has seen or heard of him in any capacity.

this may sound a bit preachy (oh the irony) but bare with me:

The Original Narrator from The Stanley Parable is dead, dead in the sense that he and Stanley are stuck within the game, given the illusion of free choice, and unable to leave nor do anything to try and escape, is also alive in the sense that we the players perception of The Narrator lives on in our minds.

The Narrator from the game might be stuck, but the Narrator i see in my head, the one i designed and draw and think of is perfectly fine and alive as ever.

and the same goes with you and anyone else who has heard of the narrator. their interpretation is still unique and different to them even if it all comes from the same media. he may not be exactly the same as the original, but hes still there. and in a way, hes free.

(man typing this last segment down makes me feel like a gd priest, and/or someone talking abt the barbie movie akjdhkjasdh so sorry if doesnt make sense at all :P)

[gallifvrey]

fic writer review

ty @taardisblue​ for tagging me in this! (also gonna leave this under a readmore to save everyone)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 7! which is honestly a lot more than i was expecting 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 19544, which is also way more than i was expecting ngl

3. How many fandoms have you written for? on ao3 ive only published for two fandoms (doctor who and the magnus archives) but i’ve got some wips for critical role stuff and some old mass effect stuff i’d rather not revisit 😬

4. Top 5 fics by kudos? seconds. comes in at number one and is probably one of my fave fics ive written. talks about 12 after escaping from the time dial and his regeneration into 13 and dealing with all of that built up trauma. same with never cruel or cowardly, has lots of callbacks to episodes in hopefully just the right place to break your heart! 

never cruel or cowardly details thirteen’s life after regeneration and specifically dealing with trauma from her experiences right before she regenerated (i.e. time dial, losing and remembering clara, dying on a spaceship etc.)

should have been a TMA fic that goes from martin and jon starting to rebuild their life in the safehouse to then the apocalypse and then the end of the world (written before the finale even aired so its all speculation)

what would you do, to save humanity this was written as an alternative darker ending to Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos bc i figured that episode didn’t have enough angst. 

every star a fic about the doctor and the master’s relationship bc this ship always kind of kills me and i am always kinda thinking about it. about how they are so very, very alike. two sides of the same coin.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not? ahhh unfortunately i generally dont - partially i get rly stressed about responding “the right way” but also i like seeing the little notification of unread messages! nice reminder that ppl comment on my fics! but also sometimes i do just forget and feel rly awkward. just know if you comment on my fic i literally owe my entire life to you 

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? ah man the tma fic ends in their combined death so theres that? the thoschei fic is... well.. i mean, yknow. a thoschei fic. none of them end particularly ‘well’ tho i think. 

7. Do you write crossovers? nah i dont particularly like crossovers tbh

8. Ever received hate on a fic? thankfully, no

9. Do you write smut? that is between me, google docs, and a secondary ao3 account no one knows about

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? thankfully, no

11. Ever had a fic translated? No

12. Have you ever co-written a fic? no! i’d like to tho!

13. All time fav ship? god i dont think i could just have one but i am kinda obsessed with thoschei from doctor who, or twelve/clara is a huge one for me also

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh man i wrote a really detailed rewrite of the pyramid at the end of the world episodes, where instead of the doctor coming back he was still indoctrinated or still was like, done w humanity ig, so it was bill who singlehandedly was saving the world kinda like martha did. it was my first time writing a longer fic and sticking with it and i think it had real potential! but someone never has time anymore 

15. Writing strengths? i’d like to think im pretty good at descriptions and like, idk what to call it but like the vaguely meta-ish stuff, references to past eps and kinda like “poetic” language describing stuff?

16. Writing weaknesses? i cannot write dialogue to save my life. tbh both in real life and in fic

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? see above. but also i think i’d be fine with it, at least in short bursts. if there’s ever a character that speaks ukrainian i’d be super down to write some of their dialogue in ukrainian in a fic but alas :(

18. First fandom you wrote for? definitely doctor who! i wrote a fic when i was like, 13? or smth and had just started watching the show and it was the most self indulgent thing ever but it was all about the doctor coming to pick up random teenagers from around the world and bring them onto the tardis in this big camp-like sleepover. i absolutely loved thinking abt that fic 

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far? hmm i like pyrite a lot bc its more ~experimental~ than ive written before. but i also have to say seconds. bc it introduced me to @yesokayiknow & then suddenly 2 yrs later had a bunch more dw friends! cool times

ty maddy for tagging me! this was a lot of fun. ik im supposed to tag ppl but alas i know limited tumblr urls off the top of my head so genuinely if you got this far in reading this post like, feel free to do this and tag me in it i’d love to see your response! 

(if you’re thinking “oh but surely they can’t be talking about me!” i am. do the post if you want! tis fun)

[sorrowandmadness]

Thinking what should i type lmao. Funny how before this i had so many things going on inside my mind but now its like what the hell should i type. I guess just type wtf i want and what pops into my head then.

Currently listening to a villain playlist to wake myself up lol. Already brought Knight and Sky for their walk and cleaned their stuff so made myself coffee. Finally the fam bought the expresso capsule. Watched Black clover for abit and as the episodes goes by its getting even more interesting. Im looking forward to know more about Asta's demon form. I managed to read the backstory of the demon form and its interesting. Shall look into it even more later. So whats the plan for today? Right, double checking my essay before submitting it and complete the review exercise thats is due tmrw as well then start studying for exam.

Im so glad the fam doesnt have any plans today cause im so lazy to go out and have anymore distractions. Im currently yawning lmao. The hell, im not sleepy but i guess my eyes just doesnt want to deal with life and responsibility lmao. Another day of being in my room and enjoying the space that i have right now. I think i shall bring snacks in etc before i start studying.

Oh yeah, i managed to finish up my essay in 2 days lol. Thank god i didnt had any issues with the plagarism. Well the research question i chose was whats the effects of cyberbullying in adolescents. Pretty straightforward to understand so didnt really had a hard time understanding the question just the researching for the articles part was abit of a hassle. I need to change my ways of noting down the articles to avoid wasting time. Shall try a different method nxt time. It crossed my mind for someone who has an intense amount of anxiety within myself, i keep on trying lmao. Deep down ive always known im a fighter lol just not the type of fighter that will show to people that im capable of it. Stay low and observe and keep on learning from people's mistakes, actions and experiences as well as my experiences and mistakes. Anyways back to the essay topic, honestly i think im starting to figure out which area of psych im really interested in and that is the human development. Well psych is a very broad area where there's just so many things you can learn but it have come to a point i realized that im interested in the human development. After taking the module, i knw now. Besides me having interest in the human brain, human development is where im drawn too as well. But the amount of depth that i have to knw about it is just lmao so deep. Its basically learning every single thing about humans before we even born what happened in the mom's body, genes, basically its explanation about us before we we born till we die. That amount of knowledge that you have to knw is really intense. Lmao why do i always have interest in smth thats complicated? Just making my life harder lol. Well atleast i knw my interest cant say the same for some people cause i knw there are so my people in the world they have no idea what they like and have no idea whats their interest therefore, im grateful eventhough my interest always making my life hard lol.

[shanksbf]

tell me about your day! 💕 i’m happy to see that you’re happy, you deserve it!

(thank you precious anons for prompting me i didn’t want to just sprout off about it agkskvkdk)(also warning this is long)(also also i say “and” a lot wth)okay so!! i got up in enough time to wash my hair, when i usually just shove a hat on it and call it a day, and then when i was walking into school i saw this really pretty boy from my writing class (who i make smile and laugh a lot :^)) and i held the door open for him and he smiled and said thank you. then! i went to the library and checked out the book Turtles All The Way Down, and the librarian knows me bc i check out a lot of books so she invited me to book club and was rlly nice. during english class we watched the rest of the movie The Kite Runner, and then did a worksheet that i actually did!!! im so bad with schoolwork and i was so proud of myself. nothing special happened in web design i just watched ahs on my phone and wrote about my new au, but then during statistics i found out I got a really bad grade on the recent quiz :( but so did everyone else so the teacher had us do a review worksheet (which i did!) and we’re retaking the quiz next class. last class of the day was gym, and my class went outside and i sat down on a bench to read, and my friend curled up against me and used my thigh as a pillow and it was super relaxing and tranquil. finally!! i got home and ate smth, then i spent a whole S I X hours cleaning my bedroom, throwing out old papers/folders, reorganizing everything, dusting shelves, and it didn’t stress me out at all???? like it was just so relaxing to clean and listen to music and not overthink anything.tomorrow i hope to be at least close to as good as today bc it’s my B day (i have an A day/B day schedule) and B days classes are all electives, and i get to see my favorite teacher and the pretty boy i mentioned earlier :^)not trying to be dramatic or anything, but since September ive just been so out of it mentally and everyday has been exhausting, but today i felt so calm and refreshed and there was nothing wrong, it’s honestly been one of my best days the past 3 months and im hopeful that this means there are more to come :’)