#file 6

[timekeepertwister]

Case 0 Type P - File 6 - “The Final Battle”

Location: Vanilla Castle - The Chamber of Audiences

Timeline: PET-K

Date: August 1945, 1:13 PM

Subjects Involved: C/E-73 (22), C/E-22, C/E-925, C/L-33, C/A-95, C/A-78, C/A-42(h), C/A-42(c), C/A-32, CM/B-29, CM/H-?

Employee(s) Responding: Croissant Cookie

Timeline Inspection Record Of: The Final Battle - Prologue (No Spoilers Necessary) [Timeline Maintained]

It’s August 1945. The time is a bit past one in the afternoon. 13:13 on a 24-hour clock, if you’re so inclined. And yet, crimson twilight blankets the tranquil skies of the Vanilla Kingdom. As of now, Dark Enchantress Cookie retains occupation of the Vanilla Castle’s main keep as Pure Vanilla Cookie, Hollyberry Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, and Golden Cheese Cookie make their way to the Chamber of Audiences: the castle’s ornate throne room. As Dark Cacao Cookie slams open the doors to the final corridor to reveal the hordes of Cake Monsters separating the quartet from Dark Enchantress Cookie, White Lily Cookie runs in behind them, sweeping past Golden Cheese Cookie to tug on Pure Vanilla Cookie’s shoulder. Destiny has arrived, and the battle for the future begins.

With White Lily Cookie’s arrival, everyone nodded their heads silently as they began their approach towards the throne at the end of the seemingly endless hallway. Although last to arrive, White Lily Cookie was the first to break the silence. She knew she was the one that caused all of this, as she contemplated her mistakes and uttered in despair, “This is… Oh no, what a horrible sight.”

“The whole place is covered in Cookie crumbs!” Hollyberry Cookie added, knowing the weight of the coming battle and the casualties suffered by the Vanilla Kingdom’s Royal Guard and civilian population.

Dark Cacao Cookie steadied his nerve and noted the scent of the devastated hallway. His tone was as stern and resolute as it was when he first took on the mantle of king of his own snow-covered kingdom. “Foul sticky cream… The stench of burnt butter in the air…” Clearly the same expired and otherwise undesirable ingredients that came together to make the monsters that made up Dark Enchantress Cookie’s Cake Monster armies.

Golden Cheese Cookie looked at everyone as she flew behind them and thought about the destruction around her, as well as the comments of her friends accompanied by White Lily Cookie’s late arrival, unaware of what transpired regarding White Lily Cookie’s absence and prior interactions with Croissant Cookie, Walnut Cookie, Almond Cookie, and Roguefort Cookie in Lilywhite Space: a dimension named after her since the incident in the Blueberry Yogurt Academy. With nothing else to say and a demand for answers, Golden Cheese Cookie asked everyone in a sharpened tone, “What on Earthbread is going on here?!”

Pure Vanilla Cookie sighed in reply. “It’s not good. Dark Enchantress Cookie has declared war on the Vanilla Kingdom.”

In outrage, Dark Cacao Cookie snapped back. “The Cookie who has brought the Cake Monster army into our lands?”

“Yes. She attacked while I was occupied elsewhere,” Pure Vanilla Cookie said in response.

Hollyberry Cookie, without a chuckle in her voice, responded by saying, “Hah! That’s gotta be some hard flour, for such a brazen strike.”

Without another word from anyone else, Pure Vanilla Cookie rallied everyone towards the end of the corridor. “We must find Dark Enchantress Cookie quickly! Let us make haste!”

As the Five made their way through the corridor, Croissant Cookie’s Timecraft silently flew in through a shattered window at the end of the hall, landing behind a large pillar next to Dark Enchantress Cookie. Quiet as a mouse in a warzone, the four Cookies aboard disembarked from the time machine to ensure that White Lily Cookie had made it to the others safe and sound. Croissant Cookie was the first to break the silence, her voice safely muffled from anyone else by the ambient noise of war. “We made it. Does anyone see White Lily Cookie?”

Walnut Cookie looked down the hall and back at Croissant Cookie. “No sign of her or the others yet. Just at least a dozen Cake Hounds from what I’ve seen in several weekend horror movies.”

Roguefort Cookie’s patience was growing thinner by the minute. They were originally there to recover a pocket watch, not to fly straight into the heart of the Dark Flour War. Ever the opportunist, they whispered to Croissant Cookie, “Why don’t we just mount our own ambush right here? We’re in a prime position, and completely hidden from her sight. We could finish that thief off right here before she can do anything else.”

Almond Cookie sighed softly and constantly, first at Walnut Cookie’s horror movie comments, then to Roguefort Cookie’s suggestion. “And how exactly would you describe your plan here? Unlike you or the Ancient Heroes, we’re seriously unequipped to challenge a prominent Black Magic user to any extent. And although you may consider yourself a cunning rogue, you’re still a Cookie in our group. If you make a mistake in your own attempt to ambush her, everyone’s safety here would be in serious jeopardy because you compromised the security of our position.”

Pulling Roguefort Cookie aside by the arm, Croissant Cookie stared them in the eyes and delivered her own ultimatum. “Okay Roguefort Cookie, listen up. We are NOT to interact with anyone or anything here if White Lily Cookie appears as planned, as per the mission. That also includes the possibility of attacking Dark Enchantress Cookie, no matter how much I want to fight her as much as you do for the number of anomalies and trouble she’s given us rivaled by other notorious time-jumping outlaws. The dropkick in the dining room that happened earlier only happened because we were in the present era and because pre-calculated physics and trajectory in relation to the time rift opened in the dining room ceiling- which I used to get to that location to respond to prior intelligence regarding a stolen Class II Relic- allowed me to make that entrance. Not to mention, if you were to crumble her in the past at this very moment, our timeline would change dramatically with no known projected outcome. Literally anything could happen as a result of this, even if roaming TBD agents were to immediately arrive on-site to arrest you the instant afterwards. Some of us- including you- might not even exist as a result, so stick to the plan and stay here. The Ancient Heroes will take care of the rest.”

Roguefort Cookie was about to argue back at Croissant Cookie when a loud “OUTTA MY WAY!” from Hollyberry Cookie followed by the sound of heavy metallic clanging sounded through the hall, sending a horde of infernal Cake Hounds flying in the group’s general direction. One of them even managed to sweep Roguefort Cookie’s legs mid-flight, sending them into the floor as the Cake Hound started growling at them. Covering its mouth as they got back up, Roguefort Cookie knew there was no other way out as they stuck it out towards the others like a stack of dirty dishes. “Point taken. Now then, somebody please take this Hound off my hands before it sells us all out.”

Thinking fast, Walnut Cookie snatched the Cake Hound from Roguefort Cookie and threw it into the Timecraft where it stopped growling and started rolling over on the back seat. “There was no other option, we have to keep it quiet so everyone else doesn’t see us!” Walnut Cookie then pointed to the five Ancients as they approached Dark Enchantress Cookie in front of the castle’s throne, thoroughly lined with dark roots and covered in melting frosting and red cake batter.

As the Ancient Heroes approached the far end of the throne room next to where Croissant Cookie’s group was hiding, a tense standoff began. Dark Enchantress Cookie looked down from her lofty position atop her floating staff to see who dared to challenge her, monologuing to her challengers, “And so, upon the ruins of your home, we finally meet. You’re rather late… to your own demise!”

“Dark Enchantress Cookie! What is the meaning of this?” Pure Vanilla Cookie said defiantly.

“Do you know the real reason why we, Cookies, were created?”

Cutting off Dark Enchantress Cookie in her opening statement, Golden Cheese Cookie looked down- no- at equal height towards Dark Enchantress Cookie, asking her in a quite annoyed tone, “What rancid NONSENSE are you peddling now?”

“Now, now,” Dark Enchantress Cookie said, continuing to push her point. “THINK for a moment. I hope it’s not too hard. Why do we exist?”

Hollyberry Cookie spoke up to answer the question: “That’s easy—to live and be happy, all together! That’s exactly why we were brought into this world. Happiness, Dark Enchantress Cookie. That’s what it’s all about.”

“Oh, really?” Dark Enchantress Cookie asked in a calm yet steady response. “And when, pray tell, are you the happiest? When you fall down and crumble? Or when you become—dare I say it… Ha Ha Ha! SOGGY!”

“We are together, in peace and in battle.” Dark Cacao Cookie responded, sword at the ready. “This is our strength!”

“So true!” Pure Vanilla Cookie concluded, “We love and thank our Creators for our deliciously sweet bodies and unique talents! And there is no hardship we cannot overcome. Together!”

Although points were made on both sides of the room, Dark Enchantress Cookie closed herself off from her opponents, effectively knocking herself out of the debate. “RUBBISH! FOOLS! All of you! I shall show you the tragic error of your ways—right here, right now!” As she finished her last sentence, the room began to violently shake, allowing Dark Enchantress Cookie’s Cake Witch to plow straight through the walls of the throne room to reveal itself as the Madoka Magica-looking Witch it was. And floating at its palm, Dark Enchantress Cookie began her attack, charging energy into a beam to wipe them all out.

“The Cake Witch is channeling energy,” Pure Vanilla Cookie told his friends. “We must use the pause to avert her next attack!” Thinking quickly, he cast a barrier around everyone to block out the dark energy laser.

Rebounding from the laser, White Lily Cookie encouraged her teammates. “Listen, we can win this battle…!”

With the battle now in full swing, Croissant Cookie turned to everyone as the floor behind her and the rest of her group collapsed. “Okay then…! This is our cue to evacuate quickly and discreetly. NOW…!”

“Why, this encounter is getting quite interesting~!” Roguefort Cookie replied. “Do we really need to leave?”

“Yeah, we should get outta here before we get caught in the crossfire,” Walnut Cookie said as she boarded the Timecraft with everyone else. “This isn’t our fight, and it doesn’t take a detective to say that jumping in right now to perform your own heroics with them would definitely result in getting you crumbled! Now get in, Phantom Bleu! Get in before your legacy comes to a dishonorable end!”

“Tsk- fine. If you insist, little detective.” Roguefort Cookie begrudgingly climbed into the Timecraft with everyone else, watching Croissant Cookie enter the temporal coordinates of TBD HQ. And as the engine began to spin again, the Cake Witch began to falter from the Ancients’ combined strength. Dark Enchantress Cookie reeled forward in rage as it did.

“GAH!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! NOTHING CAN STOP ME! ESPECIALLY YOU!”

Trying to ward Dark Enchantress Cookie away from her own wrath, Pure Vanilla Cookie screamed, “Dark Enchantress Cookie, NO!”

But it was to no avail. The Cake Witch’s blade descended upon the Ancients, creating a blast that sent the nearby Timecraft spinning into the air and out of control. The Ancient Heroes fell to their knees as their Soul Jam floated over to Dark Enchantress Cookie. With a maliciously evil laugh, Dark Enchantress Cookie celebrated her perceived victory, “YES! Ha Ha Ha! Simply marvelous! Say goodbye to your Soul Jam. IT’S ALL MINE! I have waited an eternity for this moment. It is time to reap the fruits of my promise and share my brilliant vision with the world.”

The battle seemed lost. The Heroes faltered and their Soul Jam taken, and yet, Pure Vanilla Cookie got back up. Casting a barrier over everyone else, he ran back into the fray towards his foe, casting his own magical beam to counter her’s. The struggles intensified on both sides, the other Ancients and the Timecraft’s crew watching intently. Approaching ever closer to see Dark Enchantress Cookie’s face within a magical orb conjured by their struggle, Pure Vanilla Cookie soon recognized her smile and who Dark Enchantress Cookie really was.

Meanwhile Croissant Cookie prepared the machine’s thrusters to begin their time jump. “Brace yourselves! Commencing time jump to the Time Balance Department, 12/25/2020, in three… two… one…” …but her countdown never finished. Nearby, the magical orb expanded as the Soul Jam began to splinter and shatter into countless tiny fragments. Shortly after, a rattling explosion overtook everything and everyone in close vicinity of the Vanilla Castle. The Timecraft was thrown away into the time portal it created in a completely different direction away from their intended destination, its crew screaming either in thrills or horror. In the wake of the massive explosion, the heroes and Dark Enchantress Cookie vanished. Dark forces overtook the kingdom, crumbling the land’s civilizations away bit by bit. Stories of these grand kingdoms and their heroes faded into obscurity.

Meanwhile, the Timecraft was undertaking a time jump that had been interfered with in the wake of the Vanilla Castle’s explosion. The time machine sped uncontrollably through the time streams with everyone on board. “THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. FIND AN EXIT ALREADY!” Almond Cookie yelled as the time machine soared through the depths of space-time.

“I’M TRYING… THERE! Hang onto something, this is gonna be a rough landing…!” Piloting the Timecraft through the nearest exit rift, Croissant Cookie took the machine into a dive as it scraped against the foreign ground they found themselves in. Not the cleanest landing, but a landing nonetheless. Once the Timecraft came to a complete stop, she asked, “We’ve stopped. Is everybody okay? Did we lose someone while we went through the time streams?”

“Nope, the gang’s all here,” said Walnut Cookie, still holding a now docile infernal Cake Hound as it licked her. “Even this Cake Hound that found our hiding spot is still here. But now comes my next question concerning our situation: Where on Earthbread are we?!”

Roguefort Cookie responded, “What you should be asking, little detective, is when in time are we?!”

——————————

[End of File 6] - [Previous: File 5 - “The Lost City of Vanilla] - [Miscellaneous Case Notes] - [Return to Case Record]

[hinamie]

new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

look here's the thing:

"hey there demons, it's me, ya boi" "i've connected the dots/ you didn't connect shit" "rock n roll buckaroo!" "we're here for the cult stuff, we saw an ad on craigslist" "(wheeze)"

those Iconic Quotes? all from buzzfeed unsolved!! when has watcher/ghost files, with their stylized graphics and higher production value, ever churned out this kind of banter!!

[sea-beam]

you could've been mine🌷

[dailytxf]

THE X-FILES | 6.05

[avaisdramatic]

Putting this comment on here because I feel like I’m actually going insane…

It seems like nobody in the comments even watched the video, complaining about how paying for content is difficult in this economy, like, that's why they are doing this! They cannot continue to make the content they want for free based on ads and sponsors alone. If you have paid attention to the "Making Watcher"s of recent years, their company is not, and has not been profitable. They are so dependent on advertisers for funding that it is becoming a restriction to the content they want to make (y'a know, like Buzzfeed was), so they had to find a solution. I don't know why you all seem to think you are entitled to free content, I understand not everyone can afford it but Watcher doesn't owe you content personally. Frankly, I doubt they wanted to put their content behind a paywall, but if it's that or not make content at all, of course they are going to try to find a solution. So no, they aren't "turning into Buzzfeed” because the massive problem with Buzzfeed was its restrictions on creative freedom and exploitation of its workers. If Watcher wants to produce fulfilling content that gives their editors, designers, producers, etc full creative freedom and a livable wage, this is the best option. If you want them to pay their workers the bare minimum and tailor their content to advertiser interests just so you can watch it for free, that's fine. Just don't pretend that they are some evil media mega-corporation and you are the anti-capitalist shining hero for saying it. You don't have to like it, and you don't have to continue to support them, but don't try to shame and demonize them for making an already difficult decision.

Many of you DO have an understanding of the difficult position our current economic system puts people in because you have experienced it, but you are so unable to extend that understanding beyond your own point of view. Look past yourself for a moment and think critically, and maybe you will understand their perspective. Much love for all of the talented people within Watcher who are doing their best.

And just to add, their format going forward is almost IDENTICAL to CollegeHumor-Dropout's streaming service format (even down to the free premieres and advocating for sharing accounts with friends), which most people praise to high heaven as "the only ethical streaming service." As a huge fan of both companies the stark difference in response here is actually astounding...

[ganondoodle]

radahn akira slide (drift?)

(Radahn, Elden Ring)

[halyasgirl]

I’ll be brave for you someday.

[captaindelafere]

Mike Faist & Zendaya CHALLENGERS (2024), dir. Luca Guadagnino

[carrie11]

How very domestic of them

[veinsfullofstars]

🌅 MetaDede Week 2024 Day 5 & 6: AU & Secrets 🌅

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of a moment in King Dedede and Meta Knight’s youth, when - during a trip to the beach with their friends - the teenaged penguin realizes that he might feel more than just friendship for his little winged buddy. Transcript in Alt Text. END ID.)

Oh.

Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/mtddweek)

Started 08/20/24, finished 08/24/24. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost

[the-wolfbats]

"Maybe we can try again in another 100 years."

[chalkrub]

been doodling some bri'ish wildlife - love seeing these guys. because they are the classics aren't they?

[girlboyburger]

cow's secret revealed! 🛸

fun lil alt design for cow i've been workin on >:03c

💫🛸

[okartichoke]

phoenix wright drawn with totk’s hero’s path !!!!

some zoom outs

i’ve had this dream of drawing something with the hero’s path ever since it released in botw,,, and now i’ve done it‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🙌🙌 letsss gggooooo

there’s also a shrine that i somehow missed ( here in red),, i decided im gonna save it to be my last shrine now lol

[j0-0l]

Elliot Stardew valley u are so special and important to me..... no one gets this man like me concernedape specifically specially crafted him for me i think about him everyday