#figured I might as well do something lighthearted since it was angst with the last prompt lol

[wrathbites]

#16 - trembling hands - Mass Effect related if you can ;)

Send me a number and I'll write a micro story using the word or phrase

"You won't hurt me."

Slamming into Rhys' barrier has always been akin to running headfirst into a krogan's fist, shoving against it like pitching one's full weight into the foot of a mountain and somehow expecting it to budge.

"I promise."

But that was before, when he was still human and shackled by the limitations of a fragile body, and this is after and he's not.

And there's no warning as he fetches up against that barrier, an echo of its crackle pulsing up his arms as he strains against it, not even a flicker. It's just an immovable mountain standing in his way — until suddenly it isn't.

It buckles, and he isn't fast enough on the recovery to pull back, and in the split second he spies Rhys through the shockwave hurtling his way... he's smiling, the picture of perfect calm.

And then he's gone, struck as though by the fist of a vengeful god and cast over the banister, a pebble skipped on Kaidan's power and he falls.

Kaidan forgets himself in that moment, forgets to limit himself, darts forward as only a vampire can, a flicker of motion that's still too slow and he jumps three storeys without so much as a creak in his knees.

A splash marks Rhys' abrupt introduction to the Presidium lake, a sharp whine the placement of Kaidan's trembling hands atop the wall meant to prevent this very scenario. He leans forward, eyes scanning back and forth whereishewhereishewhathaveIdone —

Rhys surfaces with a laugh, sweeping sodden hair back from his face and Kaidan very nearly joins him, boneless in sharp relief, slides down to his knees instead and presses his forehead to the wall and breathes.

"Told you you were the stronger biotic, Kaidan!" Rhys calls.

"You asshole," he snipes back, quiet and with feeling, but no bite, never any bite, and if Rhys just laughs harder, well. His sense of humour's always been shit.

[jacesbeloved]

warm milk ✷ j. velaryon

✷ ⎯ summary: inspired by the prompt, "I gave up on you a long time ago."

✷ ⎯ tags: jacaerys velaryon x stark!reader

✷ ⎯ notes: this one's a short angst drabble to get my writing going!! enjoy ^w^

It is the last day of Jacaerys' campaign to the North. In a few hours time, he will return back to Dragonstone with the North fighting for his mother's claim to the iron throne.

In his mind, all went well. He got what he came for, support of the Warden of the North, Cregan Stark.

In his heart, nothing is right. The wound in his heart from when you left King's Landing was still there and each moment that you two waste without speaking to each other, the ache in his heart became more and more apparent.

"May we invite you to one more dinner, my prince?" Cregan asks. Jacaerys had not planned to stay for another dinner, he planned on flying out before nightfall but what Cregan adds on makes him stay.

"It will be my sister, the Lady Snow, that will be preparing the feast."

You weren't there to see how he almost choked on the nuts that he was eating, nor were you there to witness the sly smirk your brother had on his lips when Jacaerys agreed to stay for one last dinner in Winterfell.

Earlier that day, you were told by your brother that Prince Jacaerys will be leaving before the sun sets. So when you see him in godswood with a servant playing a lute, just as the sun was setting, you were surprised.

"Lady Snow," he hastily stands up, seeing you holding bundle of firewood against your thick blue dress.

"I thought you had departed already?" You say with a puzzled look. Taking a step closer to the prince.

Jacaerys purses his lips awkwardly, clasping his hands together, "I was told to say for supper. Lord Cregan told me about your expertise in preparing such feasts."

Truth be told, you do not know how to cook. You could barely season meat properly to the point that it would be edible enough for even a direwolf to eat. Though it might just be your one of your brother's over exaggerations for that one time you cooked him supper, you were sure to never touch a skillet again because of his remarks.

And so when he tells you that, you weren't sure whether to take offense or laugh. Take offense because he might be being sarcastic—which you know Jacaerys is no stranger to—or laugh because how could he possibly believe that you are great at cooking when you almost—

"I figured it would be a grave sin for me not to witness your stellar development in cooking when before you almost burned down the Red Keep because you wanted to boil your milk."

There it is. There it is.

That smile that you've grown fond of ever since your father took you to King's Landing to pledge fealty to King Viserys' heir, Rhaenyra Targaryen.

Jacaerys thought you took offense in his statement, ready to apologize, when in reality you simply didn't notice that you had been looking at him silently with a neutral face. Not being able to reply to his lighthearted diss.

"I... I was just joking," he says awkwardly.

That snaps you out of your own mind and you finally respond. You shake your head, chuckling breathlessly but still not bothering to say a word. It was like your legs had frozen on the spot.

You should really make a move. Jacaerys thought to himself.

Reply. You should reply to him. You thought in your head.

Both of you were pushing yourselves to talk to one another but none of you seem to have the will to do it. Being hindered by your own pride to initiate another conversation.

It was all quiet not until the servant messes up his play. The wrong strum of the lute's strings making you both blurt out the same sentence as if the whole situation wasn't as awkward as it already is.

"I'm sorry."

Jacaerys' eyes widen when that sentence also came from you. Feeling his throat go dry, he gulps. He turns to the servant as he nods at him, handing the servant something as he walks by Jacaerys as he left.

After another period of silence, you finally use up all of your courage. You speak, "Do you want to go on a walk?"

"Very much." The prince replies faster than he wanted to. The enthusiasm making your own heart howl.

The two of you leave the godswood, walking out into the winter town when Jacaerys notices the muddy path that you two are about to go to. "Is it okay? Your dress might get dirty," he says with a halt.

"My dress is the least of my worries, my prince."

He raises an eyebrow while letting out a breath, "What is it that worries you the most then?"

You scoff, "Respectfully, I do not know how verbalizing my worries to you may help me in my future days."

"Well, I am the heir once my mother gets back her throne. I might as well know what it is that worries the leaders of the houses."

You look at him with a puzzled look. The Jacaerys you knew would not be this bold enough to speak as an heir. Back then, he would still express his grievances about being talked about around the Red Keep as a bastard of his mother.

Maybe the war only did one thing—two things right: build his confidence up and, cross your paths again.

Only it would be too much of a heartbreak if you two continue on as how you both were before. Mindless lovers that pin at each other despite the responsibilities you both shoulder.

You begin walking again and he offers his arm as you do so. Despite hesitating, you hooked your arm in his. "What worries me, my prince, is that choosing to spend this minute with you might be harmful in the long run."

"Harmful? How come?" He asks gently albeit the bad feeling creeping up in his heart.

It takes you a minute to think if it is really needed for you to reply. You didn't know if your brother has yet to tell him or if he was just acting stupid.

"I am to marry Collif Tully," you say quietly but you're sure he heard it loud and clear.

The prince falls silent, unable to formulate the response he wants to give without sounding hurt because he is hurt. His heart is aching.

"The wedding will be held after the war but even before then, we are to be husband and wife in practice." You explain further. You couldn't look at himself as well. Fearing that when you do, you might just break an oath for him.

He finally manages to clear his throat, pursing his lips and nodding. "How cruel of the gods to still give us time, then."

You sigh, "The gods have no part in this."

Your legs stop and you look at him. Jacaerys doing the same but a second slower. You do the unthinkable and intertwine your hand in his only to feel how cold it is.

"I gave up on you a long time ago, Jace." Your voice breaks at the mention of his name. The prince looking away as the familiar feeling of sadness swallowing his heart whole. "I hope you did the same too."

He takes in a deep breath, holding your intertwined hands up and placing his other hand on top of it.

"You didn't?" You ask him.

Jacaerys smiles at you. "I do not wish to lie to you."

It pained you hearing the grief in his voice. A man could be deaf and still the absolute pain laced through his words and smile.

"I do not want us to end on such a heartbreaking note." Jacaerys admits as he takes off his hand. You nod, at least the both of you are at the same page of that.

"I hope you know that I stayed for one more night not because I wanted to eat supper at Winterfell that you allegedly are preparing," he starts and you feel your heart beat faster.

"I stayed because I could never forgive myself if I left you again without even having so much as a word with you, not knowing when our paths will cross again… if it will cross again.”

You put a your gloved hand on his cheek, Jacaerys softly moving his face against it as the two of you stare longingly at each other.

The both of you stayed still for the moment before he pulls your hand off gently. "Now, must we head back? I would really like some warm milk. I believe you'd know how to boil some now considering you are to be the future Lady of the Riverruns."

You chuckle at his jest but you nod nonetheless. You hook your arm back into his gleefully. "Of course, my prince. Anything for the future king of the iron throne."

if you liked my writing, you might want to consider buying me a ko-fi <3

[honey-milk-depresso]

request:

( you don't need to answer btw)

but.... I'm feeling evil and angsty.

So.

Can u do one w/ floyd and jade where like they get separated like lumine and aether in genshin and like yuu is unknown god and one of them starts to like her but she's like "if you let me take ur brother "

pls and ty

I really love this request. YES- THIS IS GENIUS-

But I had to really put some thought on how this might play out. Also I'm making this gender neutral, so I hope you don't mind! ^^

It's taking place in the sea, not really in NRC anymore since I can't picture that happening in that setting.

****Warnings: Angst, The Leeches cry big time-

================================================

"Give my brother back!" (TWST Tweels x Reader)

Jade Leech

He expected nothing. Nothing to do with his brother about this. The Vice Dorm Leader of Octavinelle had fell in love with you like a regular guy who had fallen for a friend. No harm right?

It took quite awhile to capture the eel's attention, but he ended up getting dazed by how you seem to make him wonder what your next move will be, what you're thinking off, so many things from you that are unexpected.

And now, the truly unexpected will happen.

Through a simple, lighthearted confession, he was prepared for rejection or acceptance. But the look on your face had something he finds off, unreadable.

You told him with a solemn face, "If you give me your brother.

"Yes.":

"..What?" Jade was surprised, but... not quite a pleasant one. He was baffled. "What do you mean..?"

"If you want to be with me, let me take your brother."

"Why?"

"That reason I will not say."

Jade swallowed the lump in his throat. What do you mean 'take his brother?' Floyd? What could you possibly want Floyd for?

"Well, would you?"

Jade paused, his blue lips slightly pursed. Well... perhaps it just means.... no. He doesn't even know what it means. But...

"..Yes.." The last minute hesitation from him made your eyes glint mysteriously under the reflection of the rippling waters, light reflection of the waves danced across your face, the enigma of you sparking, his eyes locked with you.

"Okay."

Everything seemed normal once you left. The next day, Jade had his dear brother's company safely in his hand. Safely for the last time.

Deserted and alone, just the two of them in the deep blue sea. You appeared again to Jade, as he sees you again.

You looked towards Floyd with an ominous stare, which made him awkward.

"Huh?~ Hey Y/N-" a whirl of a current flashed in swift and sudden motion, Floyd's body was dragged into the whirlpool, such forced that clawed his body like a beast dragging its hopeless and pitiful prey.

"FLOYD!" Jade cried. Forgetting about you, the poor eel tried to pull his brother out of the monstrous current, his tail fighting to swim out of it. He grunted in frustration, as Floyd hollered and tried to swim his way out as well. They fought with such strength, such determination... the power of the siblings was truly commendable.

But alas, to no avail, the current forces were too strong for one eel to take, and his hands have lost his grip, releasing his brother's hand as he watched helplessly as Floyd succumbed to the whirlpool, his mismatched olive green and golden eyes that stared at Jade with an unwavering look was the last thing Jade saw of his own brother.

The now stand alone Leech, fell back down in slow motion on the sea bed, he huffed, and looked at his own hands in disbelief.

Let me take your brother.

"Why... why..." Jade whispered in a hush tone, you stood before him with an emotionless figure and expression.

"You have given me your word, so I'll take your brother," you simply stated, as if you are giving him a simple explanation.

"Give... GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" He shouted, but he choked on his own tongue, the sea had carried his tears, it felt unfair that he couldn't even feel the warmth of his own, watery pearls to feel a little comforted.

But the bitterness of his tears, was not as bitter as the epiphany made that he had lost his brother.

All because he said "yes".

Floyd Leech

He didn't think of much, you were pretty "normal" in a sense that you never had done something weird to him.

Not saying that you didn't have some weird quirks, which made him fall for you in the first place, but you've never really shocked him to the extent of him being very confused.

Something about you always brings about new things that never leaves him bored!

And truly, now he wishes that from that day onwards, he wished you didn't change.

A simple, goofy confession from him, though unlike his brother, he never really thought of preparing himself for a rejection or acceptance.

But then the spark came, with that suddenly serious look on your face. "Then let me take your brother."

"Sure.":

"Eh??" Floyd raised an eyebrow with a pout. Take his brother? Jade?

"What do ya wanna do with Jade??" Floyd asked, his baffled expression didn't waver you at all.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that."

Floyd frowned. "Come on~ Pleeeeease?~" Floyd whined.

"I seriously can't Floyd."

The eel frowned, but he decided he wouldn't pry further.

"So, what's your answer."

Floyd had no idea what is going on, or what your question even mean. But... if you "take his brother", he'll be with you, right? Is this like accepting him in the relationship platonically? Or...

He trusted you, but he hesitated.

"Well?"

"..Sure..." Floyd muttered, but it sounded as if he was still in moments of deciding in what he should say.

Your eyes glinted mysteriously under the reflection of the rippling waters, light reflection of the waves danced across your face, the enigma of you sparking, his eyes locked with you. Floyd still wondering what on earth is up with you.

"Okay."

Everything seemed normal once you left. The next day, Floyd was with his brother again, laughing about how Azul was being super funny. The last time he'll share a laugh with Jade.

All alone, the two eels were swimming merrily in the deep blue sea with no one else watching them. You appeared out of the blue, eyes locking onto Floyd's.

"Hm? Y/N? Is there something you-" Jade's voice was cut off, a whirl of a current flashed across Floyd's eyes which consumed half of Jade's body, dragging him into it's mouth. Jade twist and turned, trying to pull himself out of the storm in the sea.

"JADE!" Floyd cried for his brother, swimming over to try and pull him out. He had completely forgotten you were there, only focusing on saving his brother from the sudden whirlpool that had violently tugged his brother. With all his might, Floyd fought with the currents, tail pushing and swimming against it, trying to pull his brother out. Jade struggled, but tried helping his brother reduce his strength while trying to swim out himself. The unbreakable force of the brothers was something not to be reckoned with.

But not anymore when Floyd and Jade had lost each other's grip, Jade being the one to let go of him first, as the forceful currents yanked him way from Floyd, the mismatched eyes of olive green and gold, the sad smile of his dear brother, all lost when the currents have engulfed him, Jade disappearing as if he was just a bubble that just popped out of existence, unseen and never to be seen again.

The now stand alone Leech, fell back down in slow motion on the sea bed, he huffed, and looked at his own hands in disbelief, whimpering and gasping for air. For his brother.

Let me take your brother. "This can't be real....." Floyd whimpered quietly, lips quivering as you stood before him with an emotionless figure and expression.

"You have given me your word, so I'll take your brother," you simply stated, as if you are giving him a simple explanation.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" He shouted, but he choked on his tongue, Floyd could feel the million beads of pearly tears cascade down from his eyes, but were swept away by the water.

Oh how he wished he could taste those tears of his. It would have been sweeter than the guilt Floyd now has to live.

The guilt of knowing he had lost his brother.

Because of him.

[ptergwen]

only you and me

w/c: 6.7k

warnings: angst, mentions of weed, and some swearing

summary: whenever peter tries to tell you how he feels, harry gets in the way

a/n: ahhhh hi my loves! my mini writing break is over :,) life has been just a mess for me and i’ve been way more critical than usual about my work but i’m doing a little better and ready to get back into everything! this helped me a lot so i’m excited to share it with y’all <3 it’s also my first time writing harry osborn so lmk how i did lmaooofwfjj but yeah pls enjoy

-

“dude, she’s right there! just tell her!” ned whisper yells to peter, elbowing him for emphasis. they’re hidden behind a wall to watch you at your locker. you’re grabbing books while betty rants to you and mj rolls her eyes. “not now. she looks... busy,” peter gulps, gaze trailing down your body. he always finds excuses to put off telling you how he feels.

or rather, excuses find him. something comes up every time he gets the courage to do it. he has no idea why he’s so scared because he’s pretty sure you like him back. pretty sure. there are a few reasons why you might not. also, plenty why you might. you stay up late texting most nights, and you’ve even flirted a couple of times. it never fails to make peter blush. he trips over his words whenever he tries to flirt back.

he’s had feelings for you since the first time you two hung out alone. none of your other friends could make it, but you happily took him up on his offer to come over. you grinned through his whole apartment tour, asked about may and what she does. when peter showed you his room, you even complimented his movie posters, much to his surprise.

“really? you don’t think they’re, like, dorky?”

“no, peter. your interests aren’t dorky. everyone likes what they like.”

and, he liked you. he knew it from that point on. you’d know it too if the universe wouldn’t keep stopping him from saying that.

“she’s so...” peter pauses for a second. him and ned watch you pull betty in by her shoulders as if you’re going to kiss her. she dodges you, mj pushing her back, all three of you giggling about it before you grab betty’s hands and give her words of encouragement. “cool,” peter finishes, turning back to ned. “i mean, how she puts herself out there like that.”

“what’s stopping you from doing the same thing?” ned points out with a knowing smile that peter returns. you make it look so easy. whenever you’re comfortable around people, you can let go of any doubts you have. you stop worrying about what they might think and instead do what you want. it’s inspiring to peter, and heart warming getting to be one of the people you’re fully you with.

he wishes he could apply your wisdom himself.

peter shakes his head, staring down at the floor. “oh, you know. anxiety, fear of rejection. that fun stuff.” “so, yourself,” ned concludes, clapping peter’s backpack so hard it makes him stumble forward. betty and mj wave goodbye to you before heading to their first class. you’re still getting your things together at your locker. this is peter’s moment.

“come on, dude! y/n’s not busy anymore. you got this.” ned keeps his hand on peter’s back, adding on, “it’s been a year already.” “half a year,” peter corrects him in a mumble. he’s liked you for a really long time. “ok, i’m going. wish me luck.” he takes a deep breath and focuses in on you. “aw, dude. you don’t need it.” ned gives him one last pat on the back. “good luck, though.” “thanks, man. see you in trig.”

right as peter starts heading over, harry comes up behind you and covers your eyes. you squeal, jumping up and turning to him, laughing as you playfully hit at his chest. he brings you into a hug where your face is buried in his sweater and probably inhaling his super strong, super expensive cologne.

that’s what’s stopping peter, harry freaking osborn. his own friend.

peter quickly loses the tiny bit of confidence ned gave him. he figures it might be better to hold off on his confession and get an early start to class. unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. harry has already spotted him and calls him over.

“hey, pete! come give us some love, eh?” harry beams, an arm slung around your shoulders and you smiling up at him. you direct your smile to peter when he slumps his way to your locker. his lips pull into a barely noticeable frown. you notice. “there’s my guy. why so down, sunshine?” harry offers his fist for a fist bump. peter gives it to him, eyes staying on you.

harry osborn. where to begin with such a specimen? he’s the perfect combination of everything you’d want in a guy. he gets good grades, he’s a star player on on the basketball team, nice to everyone and makes you laugh, popular yet fits right into your small group.

he was friends with you before the popular thing. what kicked it off was him making varsity basketball while only being a sophomore. yep, he’s unreal. since then, he’s been balancing his cool life and also hanging with “the nerds,” as he likes to call you. he got his own feelings for you along the way. peter can tell.

he’ll give you rides home, compliment how you look, basically act like your boyfriend without really being it. it absolutely infuriates peter because he doesn’t compare to harry in the slightest. if he were you and had the choice between himself or harry, he would pick harry.

it’s been a factor in why he hasn’t come clean about how he feels yet. he’s not trying to create a love triangle that he doesn’t stand a chance surviving in.

“for real, peter. you good?” you ask him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “fine,” peter lies and musters up a smile. “i’m just tired. didn’t sleep too good last night.” you’re only more concerned now. this has been happening to him a lot lately. you search for his eyes. “again?”

“aw, man. you need something for it?” harry punches peter’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “i know this kid who-“ “harry, stop.” your words are serious, tone lighthearted. you throw your head back on his arm. “do you really know a kid?” “i’m not telling you,” he says in an overly happy voice, you humming the same way. peter feels like he’s third wheeling.

“i was telling pete.” harry looks at him expectantly, peter’s mouth dropping open while he thinks of what to say. harry likes to mess around. this is a different level, though. “no thanks. i- i shouldn’t. i’m-“ “relax, i don’t know a kid,” harry chuckles and points at peter. “your face right now.” it’s completely flushed. you knock into harry’s side.

“ok, well literally no one laughed. you’re scaring him,” you tell harry sternly. peter tugs tight on one of his backpack straps. he doesn’t feel like he’s third wheeling you two now. he feels like your kid. he’ll never let ned mettle in his love life ever again if this is where it gets him. “he knows i’m kidding, y/n/n. right?” harry checks with peter. you make a face at him that says you aren’t convinced.

he switches his arm from you to peter, drawing him into his side. “look, pete. i’m sorry. the only kid i know who’s selling is chocolates for his band trip.” you’re satisfied with that, grinning at both of them. peter forces a laugh and nods. “no worries, man. i gotta get to class.” “good boy,” harry lets him go. “bye, pete. we’ll see you at lunch,” you remind him. he gives you a tight lipped smile. “see you, y/n/n.”

you and harry continue practically spooning each other as soon as peter is out of sight.

what the hell is going on?

peter is back to being grumpy, plopping down in his seat next to ned. their teacher has the lesson plan pulled up on the smart board. ned looks from it to peter, almost jumping in his seat. “oh, you’re back already? how’d it go?” “it didn’t go,” peter huffs, copying down the aim. he’s only doing it so he doesn’t have to look ned in the eyes while telling him he bailed. again.

“you didn’t do it?” ned repeats, peter writing something about pi and a unit circle in his notebook. he bites the inside of his cheek. “you have to do it at some point,” ned sighs out and picks up his pencil. even he’s getting tired of this, and ned never gets tired of a good friends to lovers moment. “i think she likes harry,” peter says under his breath. “huh?” ned gasps.

peter doesn’t feel like explaining the extremely awkward moment he just finished living. although, it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion. “y/n. he came over, and they kept hugging and whatever.” “they always do that,” ned almost scoffs, their trigonometry teacher moving to stand in front of the class. “yeah, but he had his arm around her the whole time we-“

the bell rings and cuts their conversation short. peter struggles to label the unit circle they learn about when his mind is filled to its capacity with images of you and harry all over each other. it’s not daydreaming. this is a nightmare. maybe, he actually will be having sleep problems.

peter’s morning is relatively decent after that. he gets to do an experiment with mj in chemistry, and she lets him take the lead for once. spanish is easy, health is okay, then he has a free period, then it’s lunch. things can only go downhill from here.

he thinks about hiding in the library until it’s over, but it’s the thought of harry eating your face that gets him to drag himself to the cafeteria.

flash is at the head of your table talking to harry when peter gets there. great, now he can’t eat his soggy chicken fingers in peace. “sounds dope. let’s go on the-“ flash stops saying what he was saying and nods at peter. “penis parker, you’re late.” peter takes his seat on your left, harry on your right. you glance over at him to make sure he’s okay. he acts like he doesn’t care, peeling open his milk carton.

“just text me later, man. get outta here,” harry dismisses flash, the two of them doing a bro handshake before he leaves. he’s well aware of his and peter’s history. he keeps them separate for the obvious reasons. peter appreciates it because saying no to flash is nearly impossible. he shouldn’t be so mad at harry, should he? he’s a good friend.

harry’s arm snakes around your waist and brings you closer to him. never mind.

“who’s up for sushi later?” he asks the table, everyone agreeing and saying how awesome that sounds. everyone except peter. you tap his shoulder with a small smile. “what about you, peter? you coming?” he realizes you’re all waiting for him to respond and puts down his milk. “uh, i can’t. homework,” he lamely answers.

“dude, we have homework, too. just do it a little later,” ned suggests, betty laying her head on his shoulder. you share a look with her, your eyes wide and a grin on your lips. that must have been what you were talking about this morning. she asked for boy advice. ned advice. why can’t this crap work out for peter?

“i really can’t. sorry, guys,” peter half heartedly apologizes.

he misses the disappointment that crosses your features because he’s pouting at his lunch again.

“homework, huh?” mj tests him, squinting as she takes a sip of apple juice. harry nudges peter’s side with two fingers. “you still mad about the sleeping thing?” “sleeping thing? what sleeping thing?” betty wonders while ned rests his head against hers. a quiet laugh slips out of you as you lean in to tell her.

“peter said he couldn’t sleep last night, so harry offered him...” you mime rolling a joint. “i said no,” peter clarifies, rolling his eyes at the inevitable teasing he’s about to get. none of you have even smoked besides harry. you’re being annoying about it. “of course you did,” mj sighs and kicks her feet up on the table. “unrelated to what y/n just said... harry, i have insomnia.”

everyone bursts into laughter at that, betty shoving her side and you pulling harry by his torso as he pretends to go into his backpack. peter wants nothing to do with any of this. he usually enjoys joking around with the group, even if it’s at his expense because it’s from a place of love.

today feels like you’re straight up making fun of him. harry might as well invite flash to join in.

“alright, alright, alright. enough of the weed talk,” harry decides, you removing your arms from him and grabbing your coffee. “you’re such a bad influence.” your voice drips with sarcasm. you bend the straw and take a sip while scooting closer to peter. “you really can’t come later? i feel like i’ve barely seen you today.” that’s on harry. “i wish i could, y/n/n,” peter exhales. “i’ll text you later, okay?”

you don’t get to answer because mj tugs on your arm, distracting you from peter. she explains how she has to do an art project on what it means to be a woman and needs help brainstorming ideas. you’re full of them, offering up an interesting perspective for her to use. peter smiles to himself as he listens in. you find a new way to impress him every day.

he should tell you that.

“hey, y/n?” “listen to her! you’re seriously my idol,” betty gushes, so loudly you don’t hear peter. not a single thing has gone in his favor at this table. he gives up.

peter locks himself in his room when he gets home from his overall terrible day. he does homework like he said he would, only taking a break for dinner, giving one word replies to may’s questions about school. he’d much rather be having sushi with you. he would’ve gone if the others didn’t.

after dinner, it’s back to grumbling and scribbling down answers. there’s a knock at peter’s door around ten o’clock, which he assumes is may saying goodnight. “i’ll be done in a few minutes, may! love you.” “it’s y/n,” you reply, the smile clear in your voice. his eyes go comically wide. that’s the last thing he expected to hear. “oh. uh, come in.”

you’re holding a small takeout bag, shutting the door behind you and walking over to his desk. you meet his twinkling eyes in the dim light that hits off his walls. from his open window, you faintly hear cars as they rush by and honk their horns in the distance, accompanied by a fresh breeze. it’s cozy, safe. it’s peter.

“hey. what’re you doing here?” peter questions, leaving his pencil in his binder and shutting it. you shake around the plastic bag. “i saved you a roll.” he bites back a smile, getting up from his chair. “may let me in. she was really chill about it,” you continue and hold out the sushi for him. “it’s a california roll. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, and everyone likes those.”

peter lets his smile spread out and takes the bag from you. “thanks, y/n/n. i was honestly hoping one of you would have leftovers.” you laugh softly, peter setting the bag down on his desk. he scratches the back of his neck. “did you guys have fun?” “yeah. i missed you, though.” you clasp your hands behind your back. “everyone did.”

“i feel bad i didn’t go. just... things felt off today,” peter admits the real reason he stayed home, you letting out a breath. “it was harry, wasn’t it? god, he was being so weird.” your arms drop back to your sides. “there’s a difference between playing around and actually upsetting people.” by people, you mean peter. no one else seemed too bothered by him. “i’m sorry, peter. i tried to make him stop.”

“no, you don’t have to apologize,” peter assures you sweetly, grabbing one of your hands. “it’s not your fault, okay? he probably didn’t realize what he was doing. the jokes landed.” he’s referring to ned, mj, and betty finding harry’s comments hilarious. you lace your fingers with peter’s and frown. “this isn’t like him. maybe he’s stressed about a game.” your gaze drifts off to the side, what you see getting you to perk up.

“is that new?” you ask peter, leading him by his hand over to a poster he put up recently. it’s for 13 going on 30. you showed it to him a couple of weeks ago, and he clearly liked it a lot. any movie that makes it to peter’s wall is a special one. “mhm. i got it literally right after you went home the night we watched,” he chuckles and looks over at you while you study the poster.

you turn to face peter again, keeping your hand tight in his. “were you gonna tell me something earlier? at lunch?” he’s confused for a second, then he remembers your ideas for mj’s art project. the fact that you cared enough to bring it up after all these hours makes his stomach do summersaults in the best way. he shrugs and gives you a smile.

“the stuff you were saying about femininity and how there are so many ways to define it,” peter starts, you grinning back at him, at how he took an interest in what you were saying. “you’re so smart, y/n. you make me wanna be better.” a light pink dusts his cheeks. “peter, you’re a feminist?” you coo, joking but genuinely wondering at the same time. he squeezes your hand. “duh.”

“i thought so,” you nod, taking in the rest of what he said. “you think i’m smart? i trust you because you’re way smarter.” peter pffts in response. “i’m only good at, like, physics. you’re good at things that really matter. smart in that way.” you’re feeling your own face get hot. you swing yours and peter’s hands back and forth. “why are you the nicest person ever?”

the answer to that, may, peeks her head into the room. “hey, kids. it’s getting late.” she notices your intertwined hands and shoots peter a smirk. “i thought you were a cool aunt,” he teases, you sadly letting go of him. “she is. thanks for having me over so late,” you tell may on your way to the door. “oh, stop it. you can come over any time.” she puts a hand on your arm. “thank you so much,” you murmur back.

you walk backwards to the doorway, may leaving you two to say your goodbyes. “wanna hang out only you and me? on friday maybe?” that should make up for everything earlier. “yeah, of course. friday is perfect,” peter agrees and bounces on his feet as excitement takes over him. “thanks again for the sushi.”

“no problem. goodnight.” it’s taking every last bit of power in you to not freak out. “night. text me when you get home.” he presses his tongue into his cheek. you slowly pull the door shut. “ok, i will. bye!” it closes, leaving peter skipping across his room to his bed on one side and you doing a little happy dance on the other.

the next day at school, everything is back to normal. honestly, better than normal. your hangout with peter is tomorrow, and he’s planning on telling he likes you then. he already talked it over with ned. he’s relieved it’s finally happening, especially since him and betty have their own thing. she’ll be taking up most of his free time from here.

your group is spending lunch outside today, lounging across a picnic table, surrounded by trees and the shining sun in a bright blue sky. mj sits on the table and has her feet on the bench, which would usually bug peter to no end. he doesn’t mind this time because it takes up enough room that harry has to sit with ned and betty instead of you. you lean into peter’s side and stab a piece of lettuce from your salad.

“it’s so nice out,” betty sighs, ripping off half her cookie and giving it to ned. “we should ditch.” “oh my god, you sound like harry,” you groan between bites of salad. peter lets out a breathy laugh, you looping your arm through his. he grins down at where you’re linked. harry crosses his own arms over his chest. “she wishes.” betty only nods because her mouth is full of m&m’s.

“nah, seriously. i’d take us out somewhere, but i have practice after school.” he speaks quieter than he normally does, less confident. your theory about him having basketball drama was right. “what did we tell you? talk about the sports shit with your sports friends,” mj complains, sitting back on her hands. she glances at harry over her shoulder and catches ned mouthing you can’t say that.

sitting criss cross, she spins around to face harry, unenthusiastically saying, “what i meant was, you sound upset. what’s wrong?” harry gets into it right away, like he’s been waiting for someone to ask. “coach says there might be a scout at the next game. it’s a really good opportunity even though i don’t have to worry about... college yet.” the word makes him cringe.

“oh, damn. that’s a big deal. scary,” mj snorts, turning back to you and peter. her behavior makes ned internally face palm. “that’s awesome, dude. you’re gonna play amazing like always.” he gives harry a high five, who smiles nervously in response. he’s never nervous. “thanks, bro. you guys wanna come and watch?” he’s never invited you to one of his games before either.

this isn’t a group of friends that likes to spend their weekends in bleachers while angry teens shout around them.

“definitely. we’ll be there to support you, harry,” betty answers for everyone, ned pecking her cheek in satisfaction. mj cusses to herself before replying. “if i absolutely must, sure.” only you and peter haven’t said anything yet. he’s been chewing his lower lip, and you your salad. harry looks between you two hopefully. it’s more so at you, which peter doesn’t like.

“y/n? pete? it would help a lot, i’m serious.” he taps his fingers on the table until one of you speaks up. you’re the one who does. “i’ll go. this is pretty huge, right? congrats.” you reach across the table and squeeze his shoulder while simultaneously tightening your arm around peter’s. he takes that as a cue. “i’ll go, too. happy for you, man.”

though peter isn’t currently in the best place with harry, he should show his support by showing up. it can’t be too bad since the rest of you will be there.

a loud, long chuckle leaves harry as he hops up from his bench and comes to yours and peter’s. he bends over and wraps both of you in a hug from behind at the same time. his arms are around each of your shoulders, holding you so close his cheeks are squished against either of your heads. you giggle at that, peter finding himself laughing along and reaching back to ruffle harry’s hair.

staying mad at him is one of the world’s greatest challenges.

“you’re saints, both of you. my angels.” he kisses the back of your head, then lays one right on peter’s cheek, leaving him blushing red and grinning. “what about the rest of us? i never go to shit like this,” mj huffs and seems genuinely offended. harry wiggles his eyebrows. “you want a kiss?” his offer gets her flustered, which she can’t manage to hide. that’s a first.

“shut up. i’m just saying... never mind.” mj glares at you and peter, ned and betty making kissing noises behind her. “someone change the subject.” peter steps in. “when’s the game, harry?” he asks, harry snapping and waving his finger. “tomorrow! cancel your plans, kiddos.” “like we had any,” betty retorts.

some of you did. that was going to be peter’s hangout with you.

ned smiles sympathetically at peter before betty is getting his attention. you‘re unfazed and rambling to harry how proud you are of him.

did last night mean nothing? was it an empty gesture? were you only doing it out of guilt? peter must have read your visit wrong. he’s been wrong the whole time he’s liked you. you don’t like him back, you pity him. harry is who you’re really interested in.

may always says he should trust his instincts.

peter pulls his arm from yours suddenly, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. you’re taken back because it’s so out of no where. you stop talking to harry so you can figure out his deal. “where are you going?” “bell’s gonna ring,” peter mumbles and picks up his lunch tray. he heads to the garbage can without another word or goodbye to anyone.

“i’m gonna go check on him,” you tell harry, already getting up from the bench. “you do that,” he acknowledges and calls mj’s name again.

peter tosses his mostly untouched food in the trash, seeing you make your way over from the corner of his eye. he tries to speed walk inside so he doesn’t have to talk to you. you’re too quick, cornering him between the door and brick wall.

“we still have ten minutes,” you state, worry flashing across your face. he’s avoiding you. well, attempting to. “what’s wrong?” peter gulps before saying anything. “my next class is on the other side of the-“ “no,” you cut him off. “what’s really wrong?”

he doesn’t feel like having this discussion. it’s bad enough he came to the realization his feelings are one sided. must he break that down for you so soon?

you toy with your sleeve while you speak because peter doesn’t. “i thought you and harry were fine again. i mean, he kissed you.” peter clenches his jaw so hard he can imagine the sound of it cracking. “it’s not about harry.” “what, then? what the fuck happened?” your sleeves are now balled in your fists. you hate it when peter does this angsty routine.

he keeps his voice low and calm so he doesn’t come off as jealous or hurt. he’s both of those things. “the game is tomorrow. friday. when we were supposed to hang out.” you meet peter’s eyes with nothing but remorse in yours. “i... i forgot,” is all you have to say.

you feel awful. he’s had a tough couple of days, and you fell through on your promise to cheer him up.

“clearly,” peter remarks, voice sharp. the way you’re looking at him makes him think he won’t like what’s coming. “peter, we have to go,” you almost whine. “i’m really sorry, i am, but this is a big night for harry. he needs us there.” peter stays silent. you’re twisting the knife deeper into him with every word. “i wouldn’t be cancelling if this wasn’t important.”

now you’re cancelling?

you reach for peter’s hand, but he shoves it into his pocket. that stings for you and him. “please, peter. we’ll hang out at the game, i swear.” this is the last chance you’ve got, so you pile it on. “harry won’t even be there, technically. he’ll... he’ll be on the court.” peter hadn’t thought about that. he lets himself unclench, starting to see the appeal. you add one more thing to lighten the mood and persuade him.

“i’ll buy you popcorn, all you can eat.” it’s that easy. cracking a smile, peter accepts. he’ll deal with his unresolved, unreciprocated feelings after he stuffs his face, courtesy of you. “you better. i’m gonna need it for this long ass game.” your face lights up, grabbing his wrist in both hands.

“so, you’ll come?” “i’ll be there,” he confirms. you throw your arms around his neck. he laughs into the hug and holds you by your middle. “i promise this’ll be the first and last game we ever go to,” you say and mean it. harry is lucky you’re even suffering through this a first time. “thank god,” peter exhales, resting his chin on your head.

that interaction leaves peter confused as hell. you’re crushing his mind and soul one minute, then hugging him the next. you were making him feel so special lasts night, and treating harry the same way today. it’s so jumbled that he isn’t sure if he’s in the friend zone or something more zone.

there are a ton of mixed signals coming his way, and he sucks at reading people as is.

he can’t take another second of this. he’d rather you come out and say you like harry already because it’s torture. knowing you don’t want him in that way would at least eliminate the possibility of anything happening between you two, and allow him to stop driving himself insane.

he’d be able to stop taking it out on harry, too.

the hold you have on peter, that you’re oblivious to, rules his every thought and decision. he’s constantly analyzing what you say to him, debating whether or not your affection is simply platonic. it’s been half a year of this madness, the night of harry’s game blurring every line so much more.

your group arrives a bit early to find seats and hype harry up before he plays. peter gets there after all of you because he’s not exactly in a rush to watch sweaty guys be aggressive. there’s only one upside, which is spending the night with you... and everyone else.

he steps into the gym that’s filling up fast with family members, friends, and the college scout harry was talking about. midtown has a different feeling to it at night. the smell of pencils is oddly stronger, and it’s a lot less intimidating.

cheerleaders are huddled in a circle while the team supervisor has them run their chants. the “leading official,” who peter thought was called a referee, takes his place off to the side. coaches give their players last minute instructions, players fool around with each other, a lot is going on.

peter scans the room for you, and grins a toothy grin when you catch his eyes. you’re sitting by yourself in one of the middle bleachers, only a bag of skinny pop in your lap. you return the smile once you spot him and wave him over.

“i don’t know why, but i thought they’d have an actual concession stand,” you explain the lack of fresh, buttery popcorn as peter takes a seat next to you. he catches the prepackaged bag you toss him. “it’s just a snack table.” “works either way,” peter hums and pokes the bag. “i’m not sure skinny pop is all i can eat, though.” “it’s good!” you defend the snack you chose for him.

“i’m kidding! you’re right, it’s kind of addicting.” he puts it by his feet for now and gives you a half smile. “you’re welcome,” you deadpan in a playful tone. “thanks.” he narrows his eyes. “where’s everyone else?” “right,” you twist around and gesture to the bleacher above you. mj is gloomily seated near the back. ned and betty are a few behind you.

“i told them to find their own seats so we can sit together, alone.” you look over at peter and move ever so slightly closer. “welcome to our friday hangout. just the two of us.” “aw, you didn’t have to do that,” peter laughs out, his knee bumping yours. “but, i’m happy you did.” he goes to put an arm around you, then harry comes racing up the stairs.

just the two of you didn’t last so long.

“y/n, i’m freaking out,” harry announces, zooming through your row to get over to you. he stops once he’s standing in front of peter and shakes him by his shoulder. “hey, pete. you made it.” “yup,” peter replies, pressing his lips together. you wince at his reaction, then quirk an eyebrow at harry. “you’re freaking out? why?”

harry sits down between you and peter, blissfully unaware of the moment he interrupted.

“i found the scout. he’s fucking terrifying as fuck. this super ripped guy, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else,” he talks quietly, like the man will hear him. “he’s not the only one,” peter says to himself, kicking around his bag of popcorn to pass time. you ignore him and grimace.

“shit. wait, how do you know it’s him? did they tell you?” you’re not sure how these things go. harry casually shrugs a shoulder. “dude has a clipboard. seems legit to me.” he gives you a cocky smile. “he’s also in the row before mj. that’s how i noticed. um...” his back now facing peter, he whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle.

peter’s face scrunches up as the spark of anger the past few days have lit reignites itself.

when harry pulls away, you motion for him to come closer with your index finger, cupping your hand around his ear and speaking into it.

nope, no more. peter is entirely about to explode. you cancelled your plans so you can force him to watch basketball, you sweet talk him so he’ll let it go, and you’re running right back to harry after all of that? what the hell does that mean?

peter stands up from his seat. “y/n, we need to talk,” he demands, you moving away from harry to respond. “ok, gimme a minute. we’re-“ “no, we need to talk now.” you don’t have time to refute because he’s taking your arm and dragging you away. harry squints at you in utter confusion.

“um, have a good game! we’ll talk later,” you call back to him, walking with peter even though you have no idea what his issue is and aren’t a fan of how he’s acting.

he releases you once you’re in the hallway. you make a point of harshly yanking your arm back, a scowl painting your lips. “jesus, peter. i was having a conversation.” “do you like harry?” peter blurts out. you’re so shocked at his abruptness that you don’t give him much to work with, only, “what?” “do you like harry?” he asks you again, this time less accusing and more curious.

“do i like...” you’re too aware of the seemingly hundreds of people surrounding you to answer comfortably. “can we talk about this somewhere else?” “sure,” peter nods, letting you lead the way since he did to get out here. you two go down the hall and choose the first room you see, which happens to be the custodian’s closet. it’s thankfully unlocked.

things were tense between you and peter on the way over, and it’s physically mirrored when you step into the room, air thick and smelling of lemon cleaning supplies. you tug on the string hanging down to turn on the light. it casts a faded glow, leaving you in mostly darkness. you sort of like it. this feels more intimate, which is fitting for what you’re both about to say.

neither one of you knows where to begin. peter’s question is ringing in the back of your mind, and you could touch on that, but there’s more to it than a simple yes or no. you don’t have to worry about it because peter gets his words out first.

“i think harry likes you, and i think you like him back,” peter restarts, already sounding deflated by what he came up with. “he doesn’t, and i don’t.” you take a step towards him. “he likes mj.” it’s peter’s turn to be shocked. the hint of a smile sets on your lips. “that’s what we were talking about. harry asked if he should take her to dinner after the game, and i said yes.”

this is going better than he expected.

“mj is the one who likes him, not me,” you reiterate and watch some life enter peter again, a tiny bit. he’s coming around, and he wants to believe you. his trust issues don’t. “but, you’re so... touchy with each other. the hugging the other day?” he mentions. you tilt your head to the side in amusement. “friends can’t hug?”

to be fair, you hugged peter yesterday. that’s a point rightfully shut down.

“he calls you pretty,” peter tries, raising both eyebrows. you have to laugh at this one. “you call may pretty.”

obviously, peter’s analysis skills could use some serious improvements. it sounds like he had the right idea, wrong person. your relationship with harry is platonic. hell, he’s crushing on a whole different person. this actually opens up the possibility of you liking peter in the romantic way, of him being in the something more zone. he had it backwards.

in case peter isn’t convinced yet, and because you really want to, you use one more trick to prove to him you don’t like harry.

“do me and harry do this?” your lips speak for you, colliding with peter’s unexpectedly yet easily. he feels like he’s floating, like he’s in some sort of magical wonderland until it hits him that this is real, and he should probably kiss you back. he does so softly and tangles his fingers in your locks. his hand supports the back of your head as the kiss goes on.

you push forward so your bodies are almost fused together, the closest you can be while you hold his jaw. peter breaks the kiss for a short breather, going back in without more than a moment passing. this one is feverish, his free arm looping around your lower back, hand resting on the small of it. you let out a giggle against his swollen lips and stroke your thumb over his jawline.

he’s been waiting to do this for the longest time, but he doesn’t have to tell you that. it shows in how eager he was to reciprocate, his shyness blossoming into passion. you feel yourself melting under his touch, the kiss eventually becoming a series of short pecks. peter gives you the final one. his pink lips form a grin when you pull apart. your hands stay on each other, not in a rush to go anywhere.

“woah, i like you so much,” peter laughs out. the words roll off his tongue naturally. “you know i like you,” you drawl, smiling at him, a full body smile while you caress his skin. he winds both arms around you and dips his head down to steal another kiss. you’re loving what’s happening. however, you don’t feel like making out while dirty brooms stare at you. you should take this back home.

“wanna get out of here? i do,” you suggest, voice muffled from his lips. they detach from yours and brush your cheek gently. peter makes a funny face. “hm, i thought we had to come. harry needs us,” he says what you did yesterday, earning a groan back. “you’re joking.” “i’m not. what kind of friends would we be, ditching him like that?”

he’s going to end you one day.

“yeah, no. i have no idea how basketball works, and i’d like to keep it that way,” peter drops the act, pressing his fingers into your sides. “i’ve been so mean to harry. i was...” “a dick?” you finish for him. it’s more of a statement than a question. to soften the blow, you rub his cheek with the tips of your fingers. “yup. he’s gonna think i hate him or something if we don’t stay.” his formerly smiley face is frowning.

“harry of all people will understand after we tell him our reasons,” you reassure him, nudging under his chin with your nose. “besides, he has other things to worry about. mj, the scout. it’s fine.” peter considers it, ultimately giving in to you like he always does, resting his forehead on yours. “i guess so. less distractions for him, yeah.” “exactly. that’s what i wanna hear.”

having his approval, you unwind yourself from him and head to the door. his fingers wrap around your wrist gently. “what about my popcorn?” a giggle escapes your lips. “you’re still on that?” “you said all i can eat!” his voice comes out high pitched, adorably high pitched.

“fine. i might have those bags you put in the microwave.” you smile when his fingers lock with yours, peter kissing the side of your head.

“even better. let’s go home.”

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 10 - Intimate (2)

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff 

Summary: Gojo uses you to relieve some of his stress after his little argument with your best friend, and poses a question that catches you off guard.

A/N: this chapter was a bit difficult for me to write and I think it's because it turned out to be sort of a filler chapter! Also, please excuse any errors - I am definitely posting this half asleep lol! but I am really excited to share the upcoming ones! I initially said that this was going to be 25 chapters but I outlined the rest of the story and there will be more! Hehe I do plan on doing the few extra one-shots in the end, so I hope you enjoy.

- - - 

“Tell me you’re mine…”  

You blushed at the thought of Satoru’s words, painfully aware of the knot that tightened in the pit of your stomach which then tugged at your lungs, slowing your breath. You reached for the seasoning packets, ripping open the colored wrappers to prepare the ramen broth. You watched as tiny circles began to form from the bottom of the metal pot, bubbling it’s way to the surface. You could hear the shower still running from your bathroom, a bit relieved that Gojo was taking his time because you wanted to bask in the few precious minutes you had to yourself to try and quieten your racing thoughts.

You couldn’t focus on the task of preparing dinner because the word “mine” slipping from Gojo’s lips in a feverish claim was playing on a loop in your head. The way his tone darkened with urgency when he held his body close to yours sent goosebumps to run up your arms. You couldn’t figure out where the possessive streak came from or why he felt the need to assert his dominance over an act that should not have been as intimate as it felt. You folded your arms over your chest, subconsciously pinching your skin as you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.

There was a difference when you made your own personal comparisons in the safety of your mind versus Gojo bringing it up in the bedroom. Somehow admitting your confession to him made you feel vulnerable and his reaction didn’t make it any  better, appearing to be competitive about the entire situation.

That doesn’t make any sense, why would he care? you wondered.

You never actually paid attention to how Gojo felt about your ex-boyfriend. For the most part he’s always been nice to him. Although the two of them weren’t the closest of friends, they seemed to get along whenever you all hung out together. You never would have anticipated that Gojo would be…

Jealous of him ?

That he would resent him?

Honestly, you didn’t even have an explanation for what it could possibly mean.

“ Pay attention…”

Gojo’s voice startled you, you didn’t even realise he was standing right behind you until you noticed him reach his arm forward to reduce the flame, stopping the water from bubbling over the pot.

“Whoops! Lost my train of thought for a second...” you lied, refusing to look in his direction in the hopes that he wouldn’t catch you blushing.

“That’s a safety hazard, you know?” he teased, still standing dangerously close behind you as he reached for the dry noodles himself and placed them into the pot. “You need sharp eyes when cooking otherwise you’ll end up having an unnecessary accident.”

A nervous chuckle escaped you as you circled to face him. Gojo had borrowed one of your black silk scarves, using it as a makeshift blindfold since his own was now tumbled between your bedsheets on the floor. You could smell your coconut and hibiscus body wash off him, the scent combining with the residual cologne on his clothes. An easy smile spread across that handsome face, his relaxed demeanor contrasting the state he was in when he first knocked on your door.

He’s your friend, you reminded yourself. What happens in the bedroom doesn’t mean anything…  

It shouldn’t mean anything.  

“Whatever you say, sensei ...” you chirped, burying your wayward thoughts. “Why don’t you grab those mats and I’ll bring these over to the table”

You assembled the two bowls, adding a little extra broth for Gojo because you knew he preferred it that way. Meanwhile, he had placed the two mats on the opposite side of the dining table, taking care not to disturb your work set up.

“Here you go,” you said, as you slid the bowl in front of him while he took his seat.

“Thank you!”

At first you both sat in silence, Gojo was responding to a few unanswered text messages but you were studying him with curious eyes, waiting for him to give you an explanation for his sudden visit.

“ Sooo, you want to tell me what that was all about?” you asked.

“That being?”

You waved your chopsticks in the direction of your bedroom, raising your brow before replying, “That being the sequence of events that just transpired…”

“ Stress relief ...” Gojo explained in between bites as he casually tucked his phone back into his pocket.

You thrummed your fingers against the warm bowl in your hands, fidgeting with the chopsticks in the other.  “Well, I’m glad I could help you unwind, I guess...”

He flashed you a wicked grin, “Me too, because I need a repeat of the show...”

“I can’t look at you when you say that,” you remarked, focusing your attention onto the noodles and growing shy at his comment.

“Am I embarrassing you?”

“A little…”

“I don’t understand why, that was fucking hot ...”

Your face burned, the heat radiating all the way to the back of your neck from his words. You cleared your throat as you rolled your eyes at him, desperately trying to brush off his statement in a cool manner. You could feel the knot in your stomach, the thoughts you were having crept back into your mind as you tried to hush them away.

You decided to shift the conversation away from the bedroom and back to Gojo instead. If he wasn’t so flustered by his own emotions, you might have accepted his excuse of needing to relieve stress but you knew there was more to the story.

“Did something happen at work?” you questioned.

Gojo chuckled to himself, “It’s funny how you won’t even acknowledge my compliment... ”

“Are you really going to make me pry a proper answer out of you?” you huffed, and he could hear your annoyance in your tone.

Gojo wished that he didn’t have to get into this particular part of the conversation with you, knowing full well how it was going to bring down the mood.

“No, nothing happened at work,” he said with a sigh, “I was with Rina. She asked me to stop by her shop…”

You knitted your brows in confusion, “That’s kind of random.”

Gojo nodded his head, “I thought so too. She initially told me that she wanted to get my opinion on some new items she was dropping for her menu. Turns out I was only there because she wanted to know how long you and I have been sleeping together for…”

You choked at his statement, his nonchalant words nearly going over your head.

Gojo kept eating, unphased by your reaction. “Need some water?”

“Y-yes…no, ugh, nevermind …she asked you how …”

“ How long you and I have been fucking… ” Gojo replied, flicking his index finger back between you both to fully clarify his statement.

The knot in your stomach cinched, a wave of nausea swirling in your gut as you placed your chopsticks down.

“How... how did she even find out? ” you whispered to yourself as you slumped against the back of your chair.

“She saw us at the park.”

“ Oh .”

You and Rina have both had your fair share of arguments before but sometimes when her emotions got the better of her, Rina’s outbursts often came with her sharp tongue. Over the years you had to explain to her that her words carried more weight than she thought, and in turn she became more conscious around you. However it suddenly dawned on you that Gojo might have been on the receiving end of Rina’s unfiltered anger.

You covered your face with your hands, groaning with frustration. “What did she say?”

“ Hmm ?”

“What did Rina say to you?”

Gojo shrugged his shoulders, “don’t worry about what she said to me. I know she didn’t mean anything by it...”

“But you were upset when you got here…”

“Let’s clarify something, Rina was upset because she was hurt. I was just annoyed by the situation. There’s a difference...”

You wished he would take your conversation a little more seriously and not brush it off with such ease but sighed knowing full well that Gojo wasn’t going to tell you what exactly happened which meant that Rina must have said something deliberately hurtful towards him.

“ I’m sorry… ”

“Why are you apologizing?”

You picked up your utensils, “For dragging you into this unnecessary drama I started. I should have just told Rina what was going on between us…”

Gojo paused after slurping a noodle, “well, why didn’t you tell her?”

“She’s been overprotective recently… ” you explained, not wanting to get into the details that the reason was purely based on your break up and how terrible you have been about getting over it. “I knew that if I told her about our arrangement she would analyze me to death over it and I didn’t want to deal with that…”

“Fair point,” Gojo acknowledged with a hum.

His short responses unsettled you, and you found yourself overcompensating to make up for it. “I’ll talk to her and smooth things over and I’ll make sure she apologizes for whatever it is that she said to you. She shouldn’t take her frustration out on you just because she was upset with me...”

Gojo nodded his head but you could clearly sense that he was not in the mood for any serious conversations right now. Taking himself out of this particular topic, Gojo quickly changed the subject after you made your last statement.

He kept the rest of the chat lighthearted, distracting your worries by telling you little anecdotes he had about his co-worker, Nanami. You suddenly found yourself giggling when Gojo revealed that he practically stalked Nanami for an entire day just so he could force the man to hang out him.

“I feel bad for the poor guy, you completely terrorize him,” you stated, clearing the table once you were both done eating.

You made your way over back to your kitchen where you rinsed off the bowls before placing it in the dishwasher. “You’re free to hang out if you want,” you offered, noticing Gojo get himself together as he was preparing to leave.

“I think I distracted you enough for tonight,” he replied.

You walked him to the door, following in line with his long strides. Just as he was about to reach the handle of your front door, he stopped before turning to face you.

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation about what is going on between us,” he stated, his voice low and serious.

You blinked a couple of times in surprise before parting your lips to respond, “I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I know what Rina’s feeling and the only way I can see myself fixing this problem is by telling her everything. We never keep secrets from each other and I would probably be equally as hurt if she chose to hide something from me too... ”

Gojo pressed his lips together, navigating the words floating in his mind before reaching his hand out to touch your fingers.

“I get it but I just…”

“ Just ?...”

He exhaled, “I don’t want you overthinking anything between us, okay?”

“Don’t worry, even though we are terrible at sticking to our own rules, I am fully aware of where we both stand…”

You notice the relief wash over Gojo’s face as he slips his fingers away from your touch, “Good, because I like what we are doing.”

“I-I like it too…” you replied almost instantly, your heart racing at your own admittance.

The sorcerer left you a bundle of nerves when he said his goodbye. The knot in your stomach made its presence known, twining itself around your insides as you couldn’t escape this foreign emotion that seemed to have infiltrated your body.

*** 

CHAPTER 11 - FRIENDS

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 23)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Peter Quill x Reader Word Count: 3787 Warnings: fluff, light angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: Sorry for the delay but it’s here now, I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 22 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

It was hard to come to the realization that Bucky did want a relationship but you didn’t cut it. The weekend at the wedding was a test and you failed. You may have gotten high scores but obviously there was something about Claire that made her better than you. You’ve known Bucky for almost a year but in one date she was able to capture his heart in a way you never could.

The truth sits in your stomach like a rock, feeling the pain each time you move. It’s a boulder tied to your leg and you’re drowning but Peter cuts the rope, with soft gazes and a tender touch, sweet words and sweet sounds he pulls from you as you’re tangled together in bed.

You let go, let yourself be pulled into a bright world where Peter is waiting, because he actually wants you. There is no test. No competition with the exception of Groot. Even Rocket warmed up to you, the temperamental animal preferring to cuddle up in your lap over Peter’s. There was light now that the sea was no longer about to swallow you whole.

The group chat would still go off with messages about plans but you chose not to attend, taking the time to be alone with Peter or hang out with his friends. Drax was a fellow firefighter, a burly man, bald as an egg and covered in tattoos. Thor was a firefighter too, tall with cropped blond hair and biceps bigger than your head and then there was Gamora, the first friend Peter made when he moved to the city. And by friend you think he meant girlfriend though they have more of a platonic relationship now. She was effortlessly beautiful with rich brown eyes and hair, with the ends dyed a bright magenta that complimented the warmth of her skin.

It was nice to hang out with different people and it opened you up to seeing a new side of Peter when he was with his friends. Sometimes he was the Peter you knew, lighthearted and playful, teasing Drax for being too serious to understand a joke, other times Drax would make fun of him; a booming cackle coming from deep in his belly as he laughed at Peter’s expense. Most of the time Gamora would roll her eyes, calling them both idiots.

Thor did his fair share of teasing too although much less now that he was transferred to a new station. It’s probably for the best considering how often he and Peter seem to be in competition with each other though it’s all friendly underneath and you could tell how close everybody was.

They acted like a family and quickly accepted you as a part of theirs but your heart ached behind your smile, missing your own family. Steve who was like a brother to you, Wanda your sister, Peggy the mom of the group who was always there to care and comfort you if you were hurt, and Natasha the other mom that struck fear into the hearts of anyone who would dare hurt her family. Sam and Clint were the troublemakers and then there was Bucky.

You couldn’t think of how to describe him when you didn’t know what was real anymore. The Bucky that exists today is not the person you first knew; the man that was passionate about his music but apologized the moment he realized he was inconveniencing you. He didn’t have to do that. He could have been your asshole neighbor but instead he became a friend.

Peter takes your hand, jolting you from your thoughts as he pulls you off the couch to dance to “Come and Get Your Love.” It’s a fun distraction and you allow yourself to enjoy being swept up by it and surrounded by Peter’s affection.

Groot became accustomed to seeing you in Peter’s apartment, giving you a big greeting as you came over for dinner after a long day of work. Peter was able to steal a kiss before the big dog demanded more of your attention.

“Babe, can I use your laptop?” you asked, kneeling down to rub Groot’s stomach, hitting the spot that made his leg twitch.

Peter stepped away from the stove, wiping his hands quickly on a towel before getting his laptop from the bedroom. With Groot satisfied by his tummy rubs you were free to say hi to Rocket though he was sleeping.

“Here you go,” Peter said, handing you the laptop and leaning in for a better greeting. His tongue slipped past your lips as he deepened the kiss, pulling away when the hiss of boiling water splashed against the flames.

You set the laptop down on his table, bouncing your leg as you opened the cover and waited for it to load. Commencement was next month and you hadn’t applied for graduation yet. An email reminder you got earlier today sent you into a panic as the deadline was coming up.

It was not like you to forget something as important as this. Sure, there’s been a lot going on in the last month but there is no excuse to have let this slip your mind. You’re eager to take care of it right away, ready to log on to your school’s website but the last page Peter browsed was still up and it made your jaw drop.

“Oh my god Peter!” You flipped the laptop around to face him as he craned his head back. “What is this?” you asked, bursting with laughter.

Peter bloomed red like a rose, eyes going wide as he laughed, “Oh shit, sorry!”

The Sex Files, a threesome with an Agent Mulder-esque man having sex with two alien women, a busty brunette painted dragon fruit pink and the other a slim redhead with Wicked Witch green skin.

“Aliens, really?” You raised a brow questioning him with a smirk.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, slightly embarrassed. “It was on the main page. I gave it a chance,” he shrugged, chuckling.

You shook your head laughing, opening up a new tab so you could finally submit your graduation application. As Peter finished preparing dinner you ordered your cap and gown, smiling a little wider when you saw the citron hood, a symbol of all the hard work you’ve put in towards your Master’s degree.

Over dinner you teased Peter a little more about his video. “It’s fine if you’re into that but you won’t catch me painting my skin. Do you know how messy that would be?”

“You might as well. If I had a black light, I bet this place would already look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

Groot lifted his head at your loud burst of laughter, playfully shoving Peter’s arm. You wouldn’t be lying if you said his joke was still on your mind later that night, lying together in his bed after having just added to the invisible art.

Hot sticky skin against each other’s, the sheets lightly draped over you as the mugginess of the air settled in the room. Your eyes closed languidly, watching the rise and fall of Peter’s chest as you drifted to sleep.

The sun blazes on the street of a sweltering Sunday morning as you walk towards your destination, wiping the sweat from your brow as you huff down into the seat beside Natasha and Wanda whose hair were nearly identical now though Wanda’s had a more fiery copper tone. A tiny smile pulls at your lips when you see mimosa flutes already on the table; now it was officially time for brunch.

You apologize for not seeing them as much lately and thankfully they understood. Wanda was practically inseparable from Sam when they first started dating so she definitely didn’t blame you, although she still thought you were making a mistake.

Bucky was in the back of your mind though you did your best to ignore the fact that you were at the same place you met Wanda almost a full year ago to complain about your new neighbor. So many things have changed but obviously it’s for the better.

“So…” Natasha said with an enticing tone in her voice. She wiped crumbs off of her lips, a faded cherry red from the lipstick that still clung to them. “I have big news.”

“You’ve set a date!” “You’re pregnant!” You and Wanda spoke at the same time, waiting with anticipation to see who was right.

“No,” Natasha laughed. “I made partner!”

“Congratulations, that’s amazing!” you said, leaning over to hug her.

Wanda followed suit and as you sat back down you kept your lips pressed tightly together, eyes widening as Natasha raised a brow to question Wanda about her guess. She sunk back into her seat, clenching her teeth with embarrassment but Natasha was only kidding (or maybe she wasn’t, sometimes you couldn’t tell.)

“Clint and I are going to throw a party once it’s official, nothing big. Y/N is it okay if I invite Bucky?”

Natasha’s turned towards you, holding your gaze with compassion overflowing in the depths of her eyes. She knew what happened between you and Bucky. Whether someone told her or she put it together herself, the latter most likely, it didn’t matter. She knew. She knew and she wasn’t looking to force a resolution but to make sure that you as her friend would be comfortable being around Bucky. You assumed she realized you weren’t only spending time with Peter because of your new relationship but still Natasha didn’t question your actions. She waited patiently, a soft smile on her pillowy lips until you gave an answer.

“Of course Tash, you can invite Bucky.” Wanda started to look as green as her avocado toast as she gave you a worried stare. “I promise, I don’t have a problem with him.”

No one questioned your answer despite the opinions they held back silently and the rest of brunch was spent playing catch up since Steve’s birthday. You hadn’t really missed much, Clint was sleeping until noon most days, Steve was still growing in his beard, Bucky was… still with Claire. Yeah. You figured. You may have checked her Instagram again, seeing a picture of two coffee orders tagged at The Grind House.

After leaving the girls you went home with a seed of anxiety planted in your stomach, knowing it will grow larger every day until Natasha’s party where you would have to see Bucky and Claire again. You wanted to get this over with, rip the band aid off and see them but sometimes life liked to mess with you. Natasha’s party wouldn’t be until the following weekend because this weekend she and Clint were going to Vermont so he could participate in an amateur archery tournament.

You try your best not to focus on the countdown until the party despite the sequoia sized tree of anxiety, each limb a different scenario playing out in your mind of all the terrible things that could happen. It didn’t help that this was your last week at Metro-General as the semester was over. While you were thrilled to have finally finished your hours leaving Elena made you emotional.

This was the end of a long journey, a ride you never expected to be on for so long but now it was over; this is the end of the line and part of you doesn’t want to get off the train. Your legs are atrophied from being in the same spot, Stark Industries, Metro-General, soon it would be time to walk away from both but you’re not sure you remember how. The real world is scary and your doubts and fears are starting to take over.

On the Monday before the party there’s a knock on your door and all you can do is smile. You’ve expressed to Peter just how anxious you are about actually achieving your dream. He comforted you, reminding you there was nothing to worry about and to cheer up. Peter always knew how to bring out your smile and you suspect he’s orchestrated another flower delivery for you. A pre-graduation congratulations of sorts, something to lift your spirits and get your mind back on track to where it needs to be.

You open the door without looking, expecting to see a grand bouquet, or even courier holding balloons but instead there was Bucky. You felt the tree twist within your body, growing to an enormous scale. Your eyes catch sight of an item in his hand, a hanger wrapped in plastic and beneath it the dress you wore to the wedding.

“Hey nei– ” He cleared his throat, speaking your name instead after watching the way your whole body dropped at the sight of him, from the smile that faded to the slouch of your shoulders. “I needed to get my suit dry cleaned and I forgot about this. I got it dry cleaned too so, uh… don’t worry about it.”

He rambled a bit, nervous, handing the dress to you.

“Thanks.” You said, biting back the nauseous feeling that crept its way up your throat.

“Going to Nat’s party?” he asked, hoping small talk would open the door to a real conversation.

Yes, I was friends with them first. “Yeah.” The curtness stayed in your mind only though your short answer wasn’t any friendlier.

Bucky nodded his head, “Kay… cool,” he said, with an uneasy tone that tried to pass itself off as calm. “See ya there.”

You smiled with tension, shutting your door. Tears were burning in your eyes, falling down your cheek as you jolted at the sound of his door slamming beside yours. Your dress was tossed to the side as you ran into the bathroom, running the water in the shower to mask the sound of your body heaving over the toilet. Bile burned up your throat, hot tears streaked down your cheeks and your heart felt like it was being torn apart by wolves.  

Avoiding Bucky didn’t help you get over him, and seeing him now, clutching your dress… a painful reminder of the weekend you spent together made it all worse. You wanted to call Wanda, to cry in her arms again, or Steve or even Val, to get drunk with and forget this ever happened. But you couldn’t call anyone. You couldn’t do anything but sink onto the cool tile floor of the bathroom, wishing you never met Bucky, sorry that he ever moved next door in the first place. You cried until there was nothing left to give.  

Now that you were done with your internship you were back at Stark Industries full time, devoting your days to The September Foundation, and helping coordinate a guest list for the opening gala. It was a lot of work that kept your mind very occupied so when it was time for Natasha’s party you were feeling better.

Better but not great.

Every time you glanced over at Claire’s arm looping through Bucky’s you felt weak and gripped Peter with a tighter hold. Each time he would lean down to kiss your temple, to hug you, hold you, show affection in any way while being ignorant of the real meaning behind your touch.

Claire waved her hand in front of Bucky’s eyes, having apparently been calling out to him though he didn’t hear it. He was caught up in his thoughts, lost in a tunnel that plunged him further into darkness every time Peter caressed your sweet skin.

He apologized, snapping himself back, taking note of the concern held in Claire’s eyes. He forced his muscles to fake a smile but it was useless, just as he tried to force the emotion that was absent in their kiss. Does Claire feel it too? It’s been that way for a while, empty actions, going through the motions so Bucky can continue to convince himself that something is there but he can’t do it anymore.

The next day he breaks up with Claire and it isn’t a surprise. They part on amicable terms and while Bucky should feel better he doesn’t. You’re still with Peter, and it was his stupidity that sent you straight into his arms.

Claire was supposed to be something special, that relationship he had been longing for but instead she was just a distraction, a voice to occupy his mind, a warm body to keep him company, but none of it worked. Her voice was nails on a chalkboard compared to yours, her body a pair of dice thrown across a half empty puzzle; it wasn’t a match, she wasn’t you.

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to avoid you, staying quiet in his apartment, taking the stairs so he didn’t have to chance meeting you in the elevator. He can’t handle it. He walks quickly past your door, his heart wrenching every time he’s forced to think of you, remembering what he lost.

Emptiness creeps in like a fog, loneliness settles in the empty cavern of his heart, without you life has lost its rhythm.

It’s late in the day when you receive an email from your school that sends you reeling. You couldn’t graduate. You thought it was a mistake, it had to be! There was no way this was correct.

Shaking fingers dialed the school as shaky hands stumbled across the keyboard, logging into your records and double checking that every class you’ve taken over the years is complete with a grade, and then you saw it. Your internship. INCOMPLETE.

Upon the school’s review you didn’t have enough hours, which is impossible because you have been busting your ass since the Fall semester to do this. You planned it, calculated every day, every hour and yet somehow you were wrong.

Your voice cracked as you begged for a resolution, bawling to the person over the phone that you’re thankful can’t see the way tears and snot are streaming down your face, sorry for the fact that they have to hear the way you loudly blow your nose into the phone.

By the end of the conversation you have a plan but it isn’t one that you like. You can walk for commencement next week but you would have to make up the hours and won’t receive your diploma until December.

You cleaned your face, barely, hoping to avoid everyone as you made your way down to Steve’s desk. You broke the moment you saw him, trying to keep your composure as best as you could until he was ready to leave.

Steve was devastated for you as was Wanda when you spoke to her that night. Natasha was already looking into your school’s policies to see if there was any legal recourse. “We can prove negligence on their behalf by failing to communicate in a timely manner to you the student that you did not meet the necessary requirements for graduation, therefore breaching their contractual obligation to provide adequate course guidance in accordance with…”

She went on with more legal jargon before you stopped her. “No, Nat this is my fault. It was my responsibility to calculate my hours. Would it have been nice to have an accurate figure to go off of? Sure, but I was the one who should have double checked. If I went in for an audit I would have known exactly how many hours I needed to get complete before the deadline.”

Natasha let out a sigh of frustration, wishing there was something more she could have done. Instead she let you lean against her, curled up on her couch as Clint prepared a giant bowl of ice cream topped with whipped cream, M&Ms and chocolate syrup.

“Thanks guys, I really appreciate this,” you sniffled, wiping a stray tear away.

It was nice to have your friends around for the night considering Peter was working. You could have texted him about this but chose not to. His shifts are long and stressful as it is and you didn’t want to add to whatever might already be on his mind.

But the next day you went to his apartment after work, somberly dragging yourself in through the door. Groot was able to put a smile on your face, and Rocket too, sticking his little hand out to try and unlock his cage upon hearing your voice but it wasn’t enough to stop the tears.

You took Peter by surprise as you wrapped your arms around him, soaking through his shirt as you cried. He held you close, stroking your hair gently as he whispered, “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

Peter walked you to the couch, his thumb softly wiping away tears, squeezing your hand in his as he waited for you to let him know what was going on. And when you did he let out a sigh of relief. “You scared me so much. I thought something bad happened.”

You were taken aback by his reaction, confused for a moment because maybe in your tear riddled conversation the truth about what happened got lost.

“Peter, I can’t graduate. I have to wait until December.”

“Right but you’re going to graduate. You can still go to commencement and all you have to do is make up the hours right? Did you talk to Elena?”

Of course you spoke to Elena, she was sorry to hear about what happened and is going to work something out with you but that wasn’t the point.

“Peter, I don’t think you understand what this means to me. One of my best friends died from a situation that could have been prevented if a social worker was involved. Ever since then my only goal in life was to become a social worker, to never let something like that happen again. And now I have to wait four months to graduate, four months before I can apply for jobs and go on interviews.”

“It’s just four months.”

Whatever Peter said after you didn’t hear. Everything was white noise as four simple words destroyed your soul. How could he not understand? It doesn’t matter that you will be able to make up your hours (which you will), it doesn’t matter that you are allowed to walk for commencement next week (which you won’t because it isn’t real). What mattered was that after all this time, all of your hard work, the sacrifices you’ve made, working full time while you were in school, exhausting yourself to the bone with your internship, that none of it was enough and you still have to wait. It isn’t just four months, it's a painful setback for your dreams.

Peter doesn’t get it.

Bucky got it...

PART 24

[winterscaptain]

redamancy.

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the moment you’ve all been waiting for...#5 makes an appearance! (thanks to kira @good-heavens-chris-evans for helping me not be a liar and gassing me up so i could post this tonight like i promised xoxo i love you so much) words: 5.56k warnings: descriptions of childbirth (nothing too gross or graphic), swearing, disgustingly sweet family content

summary: “what strange creatures brothers are!” - jane austen. au!august 2022

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist edited: january 9th, 2021

“Hey, Aaron?” You peer around the wall to the bedroom from your place on the master bath toilet. There isn't any urgency to your query, which would later make you both laugh until you can't breathe. 

Aaron has a book in his lap and reading glasses resting on his perfect nose, as is usual for bedtime. He turns a page. “Hm?”

“When you get to a good stopping point, can you grab the go bag?” 

“Yeah.” He gets up on autopilot, setting his book down. When he reaches the bedroom doorway, he freezes and turns over his shoulder “Wait. Why?”

“Oh, nothing extreme,” you say, your voice light. “My water just broke and I figured we might -“

Your name leaves his mouth in a laugh, and he trots back to you, helping you up and kneeling to assist you with your comfiest pair of pajama pants. You steady yourself with a hand on his shoulder, stepping into one leg, then the other. Playfully, he snaps the stretchy waistband around you. He's still kneeling before you when he says, “You’re insane, you know that?”

You smile down at him and scrub your fingers through his hair. He leans into your touch like a cat and closes his eyes. “You are too, I’d like to point out.”

He sighs, kissing your belly and resting his cheek on it. “Never said I wasn’t.” He looks up at you. “Is it weird that I’m...a little sad? I’ve loved this part of our lives so much.”

You shake your head. “Me too, my love. And no, It isn’t weird.” 

He holds your hands as he stands and kisses your forehead. 

“We should probably tell Jack it's go time so he can help the little ones when they get up.”

Aaron pauses for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Isaac isn’t going to clearly remember last time, so he’ll probably be nervous, and this is totally new to the girls.” You reach up and he plants a kiss on your lips. You smile, pleased. 

A little contraction wave hits, and one side of your face screwed up in discomfort. 

Aaron kisses your cheek and says, “I’ll get the rest of the toiletries together.”

You nod, and padded down the hallway, your socked feet swishing a little against the hardwood floors. You knocked twice on Jack’s door, quietly, and waited for his groggy, “Yeah?”

With access granted, you open the door with a little smile, and Jack sits straight up.  You cross to his bed and sit down on the edge, opening your arm to him. Though he’s almost seventeen, he scrambled out from under the covers and tucked in close to you. 

“Your dad and I are headed to the hospital, and Aunt Jess and Em are on their way okay? If you need anything big, dad has his phone and -“

“Mom, we’ve done this before,” he says with a grin. “I know the drill.”

You push the hair off his forehead and kiss him. “I know it, but it makes me feel better. The little ones haven’t done this before, and they’ll probably be a little nervous. Please help your aunts so they aren’t driven to the drink by your sisters.”

He laughs a little, and surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. “Be safe, mom. I love you.” 

Tears prick at your eyes, and you hold him tight. “I love you so much, Jack.”

“Are you scared?”

You press a hand to the back of his head, and he burrows into your neck. “Only a little. I know I’m older, which can make some things difficult, but I’ll always come home to you.”

He nods. “Promise?”

“I promise as much as I can.”

Jack pulls away and swipes quickly at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Hey,” your brow crinkles in lighthearted concern. “What’s gotcha?”

He shakes his head. “It’s stupid”

“I can guarantee you it’s not.” While still a bit of a boy, Jack looks very much a man in the dark, lit only by the light of the hallway as the wheels turn in his head. You pick up one of his hands, and he places your linked fingers over your belly. 

“I just - I don’t - Ugh. It’s morbid - Nevermind.”

You huff a laugh. “Baby, remember that one-third of this house hunts serial killers for a living. Nothing is morbid.”

A smile quirks at his lips, but it doesn’t really reach his eyes. “Just be okay? Please?”

You sober and nod, pressing a hand to his cheek. “Jack, do you think I would ever put you or your father into a position that can result in leaving either one of you?”

He shakes his head. “But things happen.”

“They sure do. Your dad will be with me the whole time and he can send you hourly updates if you want. I promise promise promise you’ll be in the loop, baby. I know you like to know.”

Your son’s eyes flicker to the doorway, where a shadow appears. It's Aaron, his backpack on and your go bag in his hand. 

“Ready?” 

You nod, stand (not without effort), and press another kiss to Jack’s head. “I love you bud. I’ll see you when our plus one arrives.” 

The plan is easy: Emily and Jessica are on their way over for the kids, and Dave and Spencer will relieve them after 12 hours. Derek, Savannah, JJ, and Will are only called when the baby arrives, to save them the angst of prematurely wrangling four children between them. 

The hospital is only eighteen minutes away, but with the way Aaron drives, it's more like ten. 

Time is fairly important - with your body accustomed to delivering babies, having done it twice before, there’s a very big chance active labor would only take a few hours, if that. 

Emily and Jess pull up to the house at the same time, both in their pajamas, holding their overnight bags.

“Ready?” Jess asks, kissing your cheek. 

You laugh. “Don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” 

Emily sets her things down and wordlessly hugs you. You wrap your arms around her as best you can. 

“Walk me out?” You ask. 

She slings an arm around your shoulders and you walk back out the front door. She situates you in the passenger seat, and you offer her a small smile. 

“You know,” she starts with a bit of a laugh, “every single time I’m just as nervous as I was when Henry was born.” 

You reach for her hand, and kiss the back of it. “Me too.” 

Everything goes according to plan after that. You sit in the car with your stopwatch while Aaron packs the car, checking the car seat base and putting everything that needs to go up with you in the trunk. Jess and Emily get set up on the couches in the living room, ready to settle in for the night. 

You're uncomfortable, sure, but it isn't unbearable yet. This is the tedious part. 

Miraculously, none of the little ones wake up in the commotion. The magic of white noise machines is never to be underestimated. 

“Time?” He calls from where he leans into the back of the car. He's handling the last details, in full field operations mode. 

You turn around. “5 minutes, 15 seconds.”

“Alright,” he looks up at you and grins widely. “Let’s go, baby.”

+++

Brienne breezes in and checks your charts and your dilation. “It’s go, time, here I think, Momma.”

You sigh and readjust. “Do I have to lay down?” Comfortable as you are, epidural all finished, you still feel a little restless. The alternative is worse - you’d delivered Isaac without any pain management, and thought it was the end of days. You didn’t, and won’t, make that mistake again. 

“Not necessarily, but if you’re going to shuffle around I would suggest a squat for the sake of your blood pressure.”

Another contraction hits, and it knocks the wind out of you. You squeeze Aaron’s hand so hard you fear you’ll break it, and inform him for the third time that morning that you hate his guts. 

“I know, honey. I’m sorry. I know. I’m the worst. Just breathe, okay?” He presses his forehead to your temple, giving you something to focus on. 

It sounds like you tell him to fuck off, but you aren’t sure. The wave crests and then falls, and you slump back against the pillows. “Okay, maybe I do want to lie down.” 

Everyone stifles a chuckle, but you didn't have it in you to be prideful. While you still have a few seconds, you double-check the plan. “Hey Brienne, we’re still good to tie today, right?” 

“Yes, ma’am!” she says, way too chipper for the small morning hour. She speaks quickly, knowing she has to finish her thought before your next contraction. “Soon as we’re all done, we’ll do a really quick procedure and everything will be squared away. If, for some reason, we have to do an emergency cesarean, we can do it right then as well.” 

Brienne is a great obstetrician - she never pulls punches when the news is difficult or stressful. Her straightforward nature immediately endeared her to your whole family. 

It's too much to think about, seeing as another contraction sneaks up on you as you ponder. It felt like only seconds since the last one. 

You're so tired. 

Brienne gestures to Aaron. They developed a bit of a language over the last two deliveries, and he presses a kiss to your temple. “You gotta push, babe.” 

“God, Fuck. I hate you, Aaron. Goddamn you. I’m never letting you near me ever again. Fuck.” A stream of expletives continues to leave you as you push and push and push. 

He only holds your hand and reminds you to breathe and push. He also tells you how much he loves you in between agreeing with your damning assessments. 

If he's honest, he always thinks your ire during childbirth is hilarious. It is kind of his fault, and he can't fathom the physical trauma, so he figures this is a fair role to fill while you do the hard work. 

On a small trough in your final set of contractions, you catch your breath enough to ask for his other hand. This is the hardest part, and it always makes you a little nervous. 

“Aaron, come here. Please.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders, and you grab his hand where it hangs by your collarbone. 

“You’re almost there, darlin’! We’re gonna be crowning here in a second.” You can't see Brienne, totally locked into her task, but her update is a relief. 

You lean heavily into Aaron and he rests his cheek against yours. While this is a shorter labor than both Isaac and the girls’, you're exhausted. Bone-deep tired and hot and cold all at once. 

“You’re doing so well. You’re a superhero. I love you so much.” He whispers his words against you, and you wail as another contraction hit.  Your choice of a walking epidural doesn’t knock the pain out entirely, and it still totally sucks. But again, better than the alternative.

“We’ve got a little Hotchner head! Keep going!” Brienne pats your knee and grins at you, and you follow instructions. “Do you want to catch, Dad?”

Before he can answer, you tell him, “If you move, I’ll kill you,” through your teeth. Aaron shrugs and looks over your head at Brienne, who suppresses a smile. 

There can't be any blood left in Aaron’s upper extremities at this point. In the midst of actively disliking him and your presence in your life in that particular moment, you're so grateful for him you could cry. 

Well, you could cry for a great number of reasons, but that’s definitely one of them. 

A few minutes and a pretty bad time later, a strong cry fills the room and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Aaron releases you as you unbutton your gown to expose your chest. 

“Your time to shine, Aaron.” Brienne holds up the umbilical cord clamp and snaps it together twice like a dad at a barbecue. With a smile, he stands and rounds the bed. 

You tried to peer over to see, but you're only able to see Aaron and Brienne.

A smile eats up his whole face. 

“Hi!” His voice pitches up, and you start to cry. 

You just love him so much your chest could just burst. Aaron is always the first person to greet your children as they come into the world, and he never fails to deliver a warm welcome. 

“Right here, right?” He looks to Brienne, and she nods. He cuts the cord, and the nurse crosses the room for measurements. 

Aaron returns to you and removes his own shirt, ready to take the little one while you finish delivery. After his crew neck is thrown to the side, he gathers you up in his arms again. 

There’s nothing you can do but melt into him. His skin is warm and he smells good, whereas your skin felt clammy and you probably smell like a horse’s ass. 

Brienne’s voice comes to you faintly from the other side of the room, iterating the specs of the newest addition. “Baby Boy Hotchner, 5:37am, August 13th, 8 pounds, 14 ounces, 21 inches.”

Okay I'm not crazy. He’s actually huge. 

Aaron scoots even closer as you lean away to get a better look. Brienne sets the still-squalling infant on your chest with gentle, warm hands. Your eyes blur with tears. Aaron isn't any better off, keeping one hand on you and another on your son, his own tears tracking quietly down his cheeks. 

Your son. 

Brienne sighs and says, “Alright, last bit here, and then you’re done.” 

You nod and Aaron takes him off your chest, leaning back with one hand under him and one hand over him. Fluid and other questionable grossness be damned, he ducks his head and presses his cheek to his son’s head, an ineffable joy radiating through his body. 

Aaron’s hands almost completely cover him - with his little knees tucked to his chest, he looks like an angry little loaf of bread. 

The afterbirth is the easy part, but then it was before, too. All the Hotchner kids are massive - even the girls were bigger for twins. 

You always make fun of Aaron for “ripping me to shreds, and not in a fun way.” 

(Okay, fine. Maybe a little in a fun way. Sometimes.)

There’s a little more pressure, and you look down at Brienne’s outline behind that infernal green medical paper shit. “How’s it going down there?”

“I’m getting these suckers tied off so we don’t have any more happy accidents. Don’t mind me.” 

Aaron stifles a laugh and you roll your eyes, still weepy. The nurse passes him a warm, wet washcloth, and he begins to wipe the ick from his son’s skin. 

Brienne finishes up and helps you get adjusted with ice packs and that excellent postpartum underwear. When she's satisfied, she removes her gloves and presses a hand to your bare shoulder. “Beautiful work, momma. He’s perfect.” 

You put a shaky hand over hers. “Thanks.” A little watery laugh leaves you. Ouch. “I’ll miss you.” 

And it's true. Brienne has been a semi-permanent fixture in your life for close to six years and has become a friend. You wouldn’t have any reason to see her again outside of regular check-ups. 

She squeezes your shoulder twice. “You ever need anything, you know who to call. Let someone know when you’re ready to put his name down, and they’ll finish off the birth certificate.” 

With that, she shepherds the nurse out the door, and you're alone with Aaron. 

“So,” you say. 

He smiles, his eyes still trained on the little body who has quickly quieted and is snoozing on his chest. “So?”

“Gimme that.” 

His laugh is warm, and he places little one on your chest again. You prod him awake, feeling only a touch bad about it, and offer him a snack. He latches right away, and you tip your head back in sheer relief. 

“Thank God.” 

Aaron nods in agreement. “That’s one less thing to worry about.” He shakes his head as if shaking something off - no doubt remembering the meltdowns night after night trying to nurse Isaac. 

Little one is still naked to the world, so you point at the little blue blanket folded across the room. “Can you grab that for me?” 

Aaron just looks at you for a second, as if seeing you for the first time.  “Of course.” 

He crosses the room, throws the blanket over his shoulder, and grabs a diaper. While the little one is distracted, he deftly maneuvers the diaper into place and drapes the blanket over him to keep the chill off while maintaining skin-to-skin.

You pull the blanket back a little so you can see his squishy little face. “Can you call Jack?” 

“Do we want to call him now? It’s pretty early.” Aaron leans over to his backpack and pulls his phone out, finding a couple requests for updates from Jess. First things first, he turns the camera on you, and you give him a thumbs up. You detach the little one from your nipple for a second, framing his face with the blanket. Aaron gets a good photo of a yawn and fires both pictures off to the BAU group chat before checking Jess’s messages. 

4:12am How we doin? 4:18am Jack’s up with me. He can’t sleep. Em is dead to the world - she gave up about an hour ago. Give us an update when you can. 

6:02am He’s adorable!!! He’s got your nose though, which is unfortunate. 6:02am Kidding. Maybe. 

Aaron laughs a little, and he looks at you. “He’s up with Jess.”

You nod. “Go ahead and call him. He’ll worry, honey.” 

He nods, and dials the second number on his speed dial. Jack picks up on the first ring. “Dad?”

“Hey, bud.” Aaron can't hide the smile in his voice. “Your brother is here and your mom wants to talk to you.” 

“Can I come see you?” Jack’s voice wavers a little, and Aaron knows it's relief, rather than anxiety. Much like his son, he was more than a little concerned for your safety. Now that it's over, he can finally relax. 

That alone is enough to make anyone emotional. 

Aaron checks his watch. “Are you too tired to drive?” 

“No, no. I’m good. I slept a little after you guys left.” he's quiet for a second. “Can you hand me to mom?”

“Sure, bud.” Aaron nods at you and you smile. He starts to pass the phone over to you then -

“Oh, dad?” Jack’s voice is only a little urgent. 

Aaron pulls the phone back to his ear. “Yeah?”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, bud. I want to talk to Aunt Jess when you’re done with mom, so don’t hang up, okay?” 

With that, he hands you the phone and fresh tears roll down your cheeks. You know this part comes in waves - the emotions. Your hormones are in shambles, and you forget how intense it is every time. 

“Hey, Jack.” 

“Are you okay how did it go what happened?” All the questions come out in a rush.

You chuckle. Ouch. “Slow down there, kiddo. We’re just fine. It went really smoothly, but the last part happened kind of all at once and I denied your father personal freedom and geographic agency, so we didn’t get a chance to update you.” 

He laughs, and it warms you. “It’s okay. I’m really excited to meet him.” There’s a shuffle, and you assume it's his keys. 

Baby boy is finished eating, just nosing around your chest at this point. You shift, and Hotch catches the phone and holds it to your ear so you can use two hands, bringing little one’s head right under your collarbone, tucking him up again. “He’s excited to meet you, too.”

After Aaron has a chance to debrief and game-plan with Jess (“If you bring the little ones over here before 10am, nobody will have any fun.”), Jack is on his way. 

In the meantime, Aaron sets his phone on the side table and sits on the edge of your bed. “Are we sticking to the name we picked? Does it feel right?”

You nod. “I think so. What do you think?”

You do your best to inch yourself over - Ouch - so Aaron can have a little more space. He stretches out on the bed next to you, on his side with his arm folded under his head. A very large hand covers yours, pulling the blanket down to little one’s chin. 

“He looks like you,” he says. 

You snort. Ouch. “Don’t lie. All your damn kids look like you.”

“Alright, fine.” He relents with a wide smile. “He looks like me.” 

He's quiet for a moment, tracing the apple of little one’s cheek with his finger.  His smile morphs into something soft, pensive. It's the look he always has when he's in awe of his children. “What do you think, little man? Is your name Elliot David? How’s that sitting with you?”

The Elliot David in question just makes contented little staccato sounds from his chest, his brown eyes looking here and there, surprisingly alert. He lets out a little cough, and both you and Aaron let out an, “Oh!” simultaneously in that drawn-out way parents do when their kids surprise themselves. 

You look at him and stifle a laugh just for the sake of your exhausted muscles. Aaron’s smile soon turns shaky, and tears fall onto his elbow where it rests under his head. He takes a big breath, and it catches on the way out. 

“Oh, honey. Come here.” 

You adjust again, bringing the head of the bed down with the little remote. As you recline, you only need one hand to keep Elliot secure. You raise your other arm, and Aaron scoots under it, resting his head in the crook of your chest and shoulder. He snaps some buttons on your gown in the absent-minded interest of keeping Jack relatively unscarred. 

Aaron’s bare arm is warm under your fingers. You trace little patterns into his skin as he stares at the back of his son’s head. Elliot’s impossibly small hand catches Aaron’s finger in that death grip only babies seem to have. 

Aaron doesn’t care he's nearly twenty-four hours without sleep, missing a shirt, and really hungry. The only things that matter in this moment are right here in front of him. 

There’s no need to speak. 

A nurse stops by and drops off the bedside cradle, speaking quietly. “You can put him in here when you’re ready to get some rest.” 

You look up and thank him. “Oh, and we’d like to finish the birth certificate in a few hours. Will that be alright?”

He nods. “Just fine.” He checks your charts and leaves a few moments later. 

Soon after, the door slips open, and Jack’s head pops in. “Hi!” He stage-whispers. “Lemme see him.” 

Aaron is stuck where he is, still locked in by Elliot’s grip, so Jack crosses to your other side, pulling up a chair as close as he can get it. 

There is a sense of finality to this meeting. Elliot is your last child, and this is the last time the Three Musketeers will sit together, meeting the newest member of their family. 

“Oh man, Mom. He’s so cute.” Jack coos and ducks so he's eye-level with his baby brother. He traces a finger along Elliot’s tiny, straight nose. When he rests his head on your upper arm, you kiss his head. All three of you sit there until the sun rises, watching Elliot fall asleep. Aaron follows suit eventually, his breath fanning slow and even across your chest. 

+++

The three of you are relatively well-rested by the time your family comes to bombard you. 

Elliot woke twice in the early morning - once to be fed and the other to be changed. Jack retreated to the recliner after a certain point, and Aaron threw on a sweatshirt and curled up next to you for the duration. They're still out cold, while you rest somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. 

One of the nurses on rotation pops her head in. You wave at her with the tips of your fingers. 

“Your family is here to see you.” 

That wakes you up. You make an ‘eek’ face. “All of them?”

She nods. “Three at a time?” 

“Please.” You reach over and pick up a neatly-swaddled Elliot and tuck him into your elbow. You check the corner, where Jack still sleeps. You're sure a train could drive through the room and he’d still be out. That kid has sleeping superpowers - being sixteen only helped.  

Jess is first, holding the girls’ hands while Isaac trails a little behind. 

You put a finger to your lips and point to Elliot. “He’s sleeping, so you have to be really quiet, okay?”

Caroline clambers up on the bed with a few reminders to “be gentle with Mom and don’t lean on her too much,” and peers over you. “Is Daddy sleeping?”

You look to your right, and sure enough, Aaron is out like a light again, performance evaluations on his chest, his hand relaxed around his pen. “Yeah, baby. Daddy’s sleeping because he's awake for a really long time helping me with Elliot.” 

Newly reminded of the main event, Caro plants herself by your knee while Sophia sits by your hip, taking the good real estate. You look over at Jess and wink. She slips out, closing the door softly behind her. 

You scoot over so you're flush with Aaron’s side. “Come on up here, bubba.” 

Isaac gives you a little smile and perches at your side. “He’s so small.” 

“Yep. And look at that,” you brush your fingers down Elliot’s nose and tap his cupid bow before doing the same to Isaac. “You have the same nose.” 

Isaac smiles and raises a tentative hand. He hesitates right before he reaches the dark brown peach fuzz that sits in unmanageable cowlicks on Elliot’s head. 

“You can touch him, bub. Just be gentle.” Isaac’s hand smooths over Elliot’s head with next-to-no pressure. “Do you remember when Sophia and Caroline were born?” 

Isaac nods. “It was super cool.”

“It was super cool.” You kiss his forehead and adjust your hold on Elliot. “Sophia, love, can you hand me the pillow that’s by Daddy’s knee.” 

She nods and very carefully presents it to you. You show her how to stuff it under your elbow so you can relax while supporting Elliot’s head. Caro is clearly enamored, her eyes never leaving Elliot’s face. 

“Babies are really delicate,” you remind a wiggling Sophia. “Their heads are too heavy for their little necks, so sometimes they need a little help.” 

At the mention of ‘help,’ Aaron’s eyes snap open. “What’s up?”  

You suppress a laugh as he realizes all of his kids surround him like the children of the corn. He presses a hand to his face, recovering. “Oh. Hi.”

Caro beams at him, and he beams right back. He puts his files down and pats his lap. “Come here, my little love. I’ve got a really good view over here.” 

She very mindfully picks her way over your shins and into her father’s lap. He lifts her so she's flush to his chest. His cheek presses into her hair, and he shows her where to find Elliot’s little baby toes under the blanket. 

“Are his feet very very small?” Caroline’s whispered question almost makes Aaron cry again. 

“Yes. They are very very small. So are his hands. Here, look.” 

He reaches over and peels back a layer of blanket, exposing one of Elliot’s (very very) small hands, pressed flat against the fabric. Aaron wiggles his finger under it and presents it to the kids. “If you look really carefully, you all have the same hands.” 

All at once, three pairs of hands appear, flipping their palms up and down as each one individually assesses the similarities. 

“And if you look even closer,” he says, flipping his palm down, but keeping Elliot’s hand aloft, “I have the same hands as all of you, too.”

Caroline looks up at him, awestruck and he nods. She places her hand on the back of Aaron’s and - lo and behold - they're the same shape, just significantly different sizes. 

Satisfied, Sophia drops her hands, leaning on them to get a closer, yet stable, look at Elliot’s fingers. 

She gasps, but to her credit, keeps her voice soft as she says, “Look at his tiny little nails!” 

“Lemme see!” Aaron supports Caro as she thrusts her body forward to get a better look. 

Jack stirs in the corner, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. In full voice, he says, “Oh, hey guys.” 

Three big shushes come from the kids, and it takes everything in you to keep your laugh locked away. You keep your eyes trained on Sophia (who looks downright offended at Jack’s volume) knowing if you look at Aaron you’d be done for. 

Jack makes the same ‘eek’ face you made earlier. “Sorry, sorry.” He creeps over, standing behind Sophia and putting his hands on her shoulders. She giggles quietly as he drops close to her ear. “Cute, huh?”

She wrinkles her nose. “He looks a little funny.” 

“He’ll start to look more like a person in a few weeks,” Aaron says with a smile. “You looked pretty funny the day you're born, maybe even funnier.”

He winks at her, and she dissolves into a fit of giggles again, leaning back against Jack. As she did so, her brother wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head. 

Isaac runs his hand over Elliot’s hair, gentle and repetitive. He, like Jack did hours earlier, rests his head against your shoulder. You press your cheek to the crown of his head, soaking it in. 

“I like him.” 

A smile breaks your face in half, and you peer around to look at Isaac’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s cool.” 

Your bottom lip disappears into your mouth as you fight back tears, still ready to flow without fair warning. You don’t want to scare them. “I’m so glad you think so, bubba.” 

Elliot has once again taken Aaron’s finger hostage, and it takes more than a little negotiation to get him unwrapped and tucked back into his blanket. You have no idea how Elliot manages to sleep through all the commotion, but then again, he’ll have to get used to it. 

Jess pokes her head back in. “Ready for some lunch?”

Four heads whip around and nod vigorously. Aaron deposits Caro on the floor, while Isaac presses a heart-wrenching kiss to Elliot’s head before gingerly getting his feet back under him. Jack just lifts Sophia and she hangs off his hip, only a little too big. 

He walks to you and kisses your cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

You bring your hand up to his temple, the back of your fingers brushing his hair back. “I love you too, my Jack.” 

One side of his mouth turns up in a smile, and he leaves the room with Sophia, leading the rest of the pack down the hallway. 

+++

It's safe to say Dave immediately covets his namesake. You plop Elliot into his arms right away, and say, “This is Elliot David Hotchner. He’s been very excited to meet you.”

Dave full-on cries, letting the tears just fall onto his shirt as he bounces Elliot all around the room, talking to him about all the ways he’ll spoil him rotten. 

It’s easy to name him after Rossi. When you finally decided on a couple of first names, it was a no-brainer to pair them up with David. He’s your family, like they all are, but you're acutely aware that Elliot will have the smallest amount of time with Dave, no matter how much time that will be. 

When Dave is ready to give him up, he reluctantly passes him back to Aaron. Dave crosses to you while Aaron offers Elliot a knuckle to mouth around on. 

Dave kisses your cheeks and embraces you. He leans back to look at you, keeping his hands on your face. You cover his hands with your own and close your eyes. 

You're taking a lot of mental pictures today. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you're sure you see Aaron’s one-handed camera work out of the corner of your eye. 

“Thank you, bellissima.” 

“You’ve more than earned it,” you remind him.  

“Dealing with you two for fifteen years? You’re damn right I have.”

+++

a joyful future tag list:  @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @thatinspiredgirl @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @synonymforlame @lcvischmitt

[mjsparkour]

Okay, I asked you a while back for some fic recs and I am in need of more. Have you read any Gina x Ricky lately? Would love for you to share the ones you've loved

Hey!

I’m so glad you liked my rec the last time, there have been alot of fics that have been written since you last asked so this list was super hard to limit. There are alot in this list alone (17 overall I think). I could always recommend more, Rina writers are just so talented. So here's a list of some of my favorites <3

The Story of Us by peculiarblue

‘gina learns that sometimes things have to fall apart so that they can fall back together, right where they were always meant to be’ This is a complete 2 part chapter fic

Thee Rina bible. It’s everything we could ever want and need. Everything we want s2 to be and more. It’s an absolute masterpiece in every way. So many parts where I nearly died, the angst in the fight scene, the tension before they made up (the dress scene that reminded me so much of that amylaurie scene I lost my mind a little more), them being absolutely gone for each other!!! it’s just perfect in every way.

When Your With Me and Were Alone by orphan account

‘Ricky Bowen remembers everything.’ This is a one-shot three-part completed series.

My favorite series, it’s gotta be. It’s the first of its kind for rina fics. Lore does an incredible job of realistically writing rina’s characterization and reactions to Gina moving and what would happen after. A wonderfully talented writer, utilizing the power of her words while minimalist carries an effect. 

You Know Me Better by This_is_Riri

‘Gina was moving. This would be her sixth move in seven years. She was used to it by now...only this time, it felt different. Post episode 7.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

This one really gets you at your gut. Heart-wrenching for both characters but mainly gina. The vents that happen to both characters, it just makes sense that so much more than their vunerabilities bonds them together. Perfect execution of the mutual understanding trope. 

and I know I’ve kissed you before by ptrprkrs

‘but I didn’t do it right / can i try again, try again, try again? or: 5 times ricky kisses gina + 1 time she kisses back’ This is a complete one-shot.

I love a good five times plus one fic. This one is heartwarming, cheeky and cute. It gives a healthy balance of the inevitable anguish that comes with pining (and not just for the character but for frustrated readers that just wanna put these kids together already) but also the sweet innocence and fluff from first love (or first love adjacent). 

what love might have done by rradioh

‘Ricky follows his gut. Everything changes. Some things stay the same.’ This is a completed one shot.

A good look into what could've been for season one. Reflecting moments that felt like they could’ve easily been placed in the show and showed the subtly of the growth of rinas relationship. It wasn’t something that was thrown into our faces but came gradually and this fic facilitates that growth with key moments that add to that. A Great one-shot.

And the 7th Thing I Hate The Most That You Do (You Make Me Love You) by iknowpIaces

‘It doesn’t help that he really does look good in his costume. God, she hates him. She hates him. She hates him. Then, he has the nerve to smile at her. And Gina hates how that smile alone sends her over the moon.’ This is a completed one shot.

SOOOO GOOD. No one understands, I love the trope where one person has a crush on the other and it's unrequited (or it seems that way) but eventually it's apparent that they're also just as gone for that person as soon as they start moving on, or feeling fine with having their feelings not reciprocated. Then they're both just mutual pining messes, ugh I love it. This fic handles the trope with care and rina just comes together organically. 

lesson in love by finelineholland

“Give me 4 weeks. I’ll help you out. Like… a crash course, if you will. 'How to be the perfect boyfriend for Nini Salazar-Roberts': A class taught by yours truly.” This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

A rom-com in the form of a fic. It’s so true to Ricky and Gina as characters and their dynamic. The writing is really good and gives so much in terms of plot. I really hope it updates soon because I love a good makeover/transformation fic, it gives she’s all that and geek charming in the best ways.  

take me to the feeling by peculiarblue

‘gina meets a stranger at a party she doesn't want to be at, and let's herself fall in love for the night, wherever it takes them’ This is a completed one shot.

Katie does it again. Another classic that makes us fall for rina while they fall for each other under the stars. You can’t help but feel something for them right off the bat because theirs something about the cheekiness of the dynamic and so real. You can’t help but fall for them, a must read.

The Last Time by mytearsricochet

‘this is the one where gina meets ricky and nothing is against them. except for a few misunderstandings, forgotten birthdays, wrong people, and missed opportunities. because as much as love doesn’t care about time, this is the one where time cares about love. and with time, everything falls into place.’ This is a completed one shot.

SO UNBELIAVBLEY UNDERRATED. This fic is too excellent, it's everything rinas could want. it’s an incredibly well done long slowburn that makes you strap in for the ride. With all those teasing moments where they're mutually pining and they're just on the precipice of finding out their feelings for one another only to hold back and stay friends (until the end of course). The end makes you work for it, but so worth it when you get to it. 

10 Days in “Love” by kindredspiritsxo 

‘It was almost the end of high school and nobody had it figured out. Especially Ricky Bowen. His parents had recently divorced, he had no idea what he's doing for college, his longtime girlfriend dumped him the month before and now he's been replaced by one of the most popular guys in school.

To make matters worse, he leaves for Europe in two days for his senior trip. The same senior trip that said ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend were going on. So, Ricky did what any desperate teenage boy would do to try and get his girlfriend back: he devised a plan. A plan that included the help of Gina Porter and playing pretend for 10 days.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

I love a good traveling fic. Sometimes all it takes to get a character to wake up about things going on in their lives or feelings for character b is a good change of scenery. This fic does a great job of utilizing the enviornment to facilitate rinas love story through one of my favorite tropes, the fake dating trope. There's some angst along the way because nothing can ever come easy but it's not without its reward. It gives me major spiderman far from home vibes just solely because of petermjs adorableness and how that energy kinda translates to rina in this fic more so in the beginning before they have this repertoire. 

on the line by peculiarblue

‘with everything in her life finally at a stand still for once the last thing gina needs is one curly haired skater to come in and give her a reason to change again

(or, gina lets ricky back into her life the only way she knows how, at a distance, through daily voicemails, until her heart remembers why she can't love him anymore.)’ This is a completed one shot.

It hurts in the best way possible! that is the best way to describe this fic. Were taken on a journey where I personally wanted rina to just talk to each other in person but the magic was all in the voicemails and the power of their connection. There was a satisfying ending, I couldn't ask for more. If you haven’t read literally everything written by Katie go read it, it won't disappoint.

but everywhere just brings me back to you by ptrprkrs

‘or, ricky is just a little in love with the voice of the girl at the starbucks drive-thru’ This is a completed one shot.

An amazing fic that hits every spot effortlessly, even the ones you didn’t know you had. Like Ricky being a lovesick puppy going to a drive-thru just to hear Gina’s voice for coffee, he doesn’t drink or like. All the while they’d been connected all along. I’m a sucker for any kind of soulmate implications or stories where people are unknowingly connected like that so this ones a real favorite for me. It’s sweet, lighthearted and funny and a great read.

About Love by goldenthread

‘a series of Interconnected one shots and canonical aus for Ricky and Gina <3.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

Here's where I enter some shameless self-promo...I wrote this recently. It’s just some loosely connected one-shots I have of rina based on canon. I write about an alternate first meeting, what would've happened if Gina had to understudy Nini in a rehearsal and (for a future chapter) a babysitting au (for what happened when Gina actually told Ricky the truth, she was babysitting her neighbor's kid when she talked to him at the skatepark). Check it out if it sounds like your thing!

in your eyes by finelineholland

‘you always try to hide the pain, you always know just what to say. i always look the other way. i'm blind, i'm blind. in you eyes, you lie, but i don't let it define you.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

There is something about Rina being written about from an outside perspective that is just so excellent. The story starting with Nini noting the obvious chemistry and their connection and being threatened by it, I don’t know it's just so pleasing to me. Another fic like that one of my favorites (one that I’m pretty sure I’ve suggested in my other rec list), pretend i don’t see it in your eyes by spobylol. Another absolutely excellent read that does not miss once. This story in contrast also writes from rina’s perspective as well which I also thought was well done. 

right from the start I knew by anonymous

‘“Uh.” Ricky really didn’t think this far ahead. To be fair, it’s not like he’s ever thought ahead about anything ever in his life, so this is really to be expected. “We - forget about it? Maybe. Or like - I don’t know. I think I have to figure out how to be like - a person right now. By myself.”

“Same.” Gina says absently. “I’ve spent what feels like my whole life thinking about what other people think of me. It’d be nice to - to be able to try looking beyond that for a change.”

Post-Season 1. Ricky and Nini break up, but that doesn't mean things work out right away.’ This is a completed one shot.

The most iconic love confession I’ve read in a rina fic to date. it’s just so good, a certified rush every single time. The mutual pining hits spectacularly especially when you see just how soon it starts to hit Ricky that he’d made a mistake getting with Nini and him paying for that mistake. The writing only amplifies it. Also Ricky telling Gina he’s obsessed with her? yeah, I automatically added this fic to my list of faves.

If they only knew by goldenthread

‘Ricky Bowen never really bought into the whole soulmate thing (except he did) but life got in the way and now he's sort of pretending to date new (totally not intimidating) girl Gina Porter to win back the one and only Nini Salazar Roberts. Not a single thing could go wrong.

or

The one where Ricky and Gina aren't so good at the whole soulmate thing and they fake date.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

More shameless self promo, sorry y’all but I’m super proud of this one. It’s a soulmate and fake dating au, combining two of my fave tropes into one to make this (surprisingly) long fic. It’s a whirlwind of emotions and a lot of moving parts in the story. I plan on updating within two months then after that there's three more chapters until its finished :) hope y’all enjoy it if you decide to give it a read!

you are the best thing & the worst thing (that’s happened to me this whole year) by tophsgf

‘Gina's roommate Nini is unbearable. What's more unbearable, however? Her very charismatic and totally off-limits sort-of boyfriend.’ This is a completed one shot. 

An amazing fic, I need more people to know about it! I really like fics where the development between Ricky and Gina is gradual, which seems to be the case for a lot of fics but for this one in particular I like its execution. Obviously, at first, he’s with Nini so it’s like the dynamic is at a point of comparison from the start but we quickly learn that thanks to good ole mutual understanding and overall compatibility Ricky and Gina are just right for each other. A fun read that hits all the bases.

[theheightofdishonor]

Teen Wolf triads are something that can be so personal, so here’s a list of my faves 

Scott/Stiles/Allison

The OG trio. The gang that dies together might not stay together, but they’re still iconic.

Scott/Stiles/Lydia

Any Scott/Stiles/X dynamic is brilliant, but few more than this one. These three have been there since the beginning and they’ve gone through so much together. There’s no Teen Wolf without them. 

Scott/Stiles/Derek

They were the driving force in S1&2 and had some absolutely iconic moments together. Hate that there wasn’t more of them after that. 

Scott/Derek/Isaac 

Mostly based on S2/3. I was very invested in Isaac’s struggle to pick between these two. 

Scott/Stiles/Isaac

This triad’s dynamic completely changes between S2 and 3. In Season 2, Isaac, as part of Derek’s pack is a slightly antagonistic figure and it’s very much Scott&Stiles vs Isaac but in S3, Scott and Isaac grow closer while Isaac and Stiles erm, don’t. It’s very fun to watch. 

Scott/Isaac/Allison

My ot3 and the only trio on this list that I 100% ship. 

Isaac/Erica/Boyd

Ayy, it’s the OG Hale Pack aka 3 teens bonding over being thrown headfirst into something they weren’t prepared for and Derek’s horrible leadership. Isaac should’ve ran away with Erica and Boyd for solidarity’s sake. 

Chris/Allison/Isaac

Chris’s struggle between hating Isaac for dating his daughter and wanting to adopt him is hilarious. One of my favourites. 

Scott/Melissa/Isaac

 Who didn’t completely melt at Isaac joining the McCall fam? The scene where they’re ‘guarding’ Melissa was so cute. As a bonus, it made Stiles’s animosity towards Isaac that much stronger. Will forever hate that this trio was more or less non-existent in 3b even though I love Chris/Allison/Isaac. 

Derek/Cora/Peter

The non-dead Hales. Why oh why did Cora have to leave? Their family dynamic was great. 

Allison/Lydia/Cora

I know they only had a couple scenes as a triad, but there was so potential. We love antagonism with underlying sexual tension. And ofc, the only thing better than 1 terrifying badass that can secretly be super sweet is 3 terrifying badasses. 

Derek/Isaac/Boyd

At one point, the only non-dead members of the Hale Pack (TW quickly amended that). I always think of the S3a Loft scene where Boyd and Isaac skip school to protect Derek. Despite how awful of an alpha Derek’s been, they still care about him and he cares about them (as actual people and not just betas that he needs for power like he did originally)

Derek/Allison/Lydia. 

Yes it’s my 5th s3 based trio in a row, but can you blame me? This is 100% based off the classroom scene in 3x02. 

Allison/Lydia/Jackson

Although Lydia and Jackson were both awful in S1, their friendship with Allison and their immediately taking her under their wing was beyond precious. Additionally, it combines both the asshole-who’s-soft-towards-1-person- dynamic (jydia w/ allison) and assholes-who-secretly-care-about-each-other (jydia) And ofc, the underlying tension due to Jydia’s disdain towards Scott and later, Jackson and Allison’s experiences/knowledge of the supernatural. 

Malia/Kira/Lydia

Comedy gold. Their scenes speak for themselves and we needed more. 

Liam/Mason/Corey

Their S6a dynamic is sooo underrated and should’ve been given more screen time. I loved watching Liam and Corey struggle to get along for Mason’s sake because they want him to be happy. It was all very wholesome and one of the few things that made 6a worth watching. 

Stiles/Scott/Liam

Aka the best part of S4.Their dynamic is so fun and well-balanced and infinitely better because they’re a triad. You’ve got Scott and Liam figuring out their mentor/mentee relationship with Stiles co-parenting and preventing the Scott/Liam dynamic from turning unhealthy. (Liam and Scott’s S6 dynamic veered way too close to parent/child for my taste. They need Stiles to balance it out) It’s also hilarious how quickly Liam accepts being aggressively adopted by two idiots who are barely older than him. And Stiles takes so easily to playing older brother/co-parent. It’s adorable. They’re adorable. 

Erica/Allison/Lydia 

Very similar dynamic to Allison/Lydia/Cora due to Cora and Erica’s similar personalities but also not, which has a lot to do with Allison and Lydia’s reactions to Erica’s weaponized feminity. Also, there’s a lot more history between these girls and I want to know everything about what Erica thinks of Lydia after going to school with her for years. 

Sherriff/Melissa/Chris 

Of the top of my head, I can only remember that time where they were trapped under the Nemeton and that’s simply unacceptable. 

Sheriff/Noshiko/Melissa. 

It’s a crime that this triad never got scenes. Especially after the Sheriff tried to arrest Kira. I know Melissa bitch slapped him but I wanted to watch these two badasses gang up on the Sheriff together. ( the Noshiko/Melissa dynamic would be so iconic.) 

Victoria/Noshiko/Melissa

Another triad that never shared scenes (obviously because Vic is dead) but their power would’ve been off the charts. I want to make a joke about milfs, but I’ll refrain. 

The Yukimura fam

Seemed appropriate since my last two also included. Noshiko.I love family dynamics and the Yukimuras are no exception. The attraction of this triad, for me, is mostly the dynamic between Kira and Noshiko and how Ken navigates between them. They’re also a trio that we didn’t see nearly enough of in S4 and 5. Like seriously, where were they? Noshiko’s on the dead pool, but she’s barely mentioned. (on a mostly unrelated note, how is the 900 yr old Kitsune worth less than a girl that just found about her kitsune powers?)

Derek/Allison/Scott

I don’t need to explain this one. The angst, the drama, Derek projecting Kate onto Allison and Allison trying to murder Derek and their evolution to reluctant allies with a good dash of Scallison and Scott navigating his own difficult relationship with Derek. Aka the complicated, tension fraught trio we all loved/should love. ( ok, I kind of explained it)

Derek/Scott/Liam 

And here we have a two for one deal; two mentor/mentee dynamics in 1 triad. People much smarter than me have written about this trio in extensive detail, so all I’m saying is that Derek’s that one uncle who occasionally comes around and gives somewhat helpful advice. 

Braeden/Malia/Scott 

Braeden and Scott were great in S4. Braeden and Malia were great in S5. Scott and Malia are pretty great when they’re not in a relationship. Combine, and you get what had to be a kick-ass triad that’s sadly never canonly shown together (I think)

Melissa/Chris/Isaac

Not actually featured in the show, but Isaac deserves all the parental figures and I want to witness the surely epic custody battle between Chris and Melissa. 

Malia/Scott/Peter

That this trio is on here is actually pretty funny because I hate both Scalia and the forced Peter/Malia bonding in S6. But I loved the scene where Peter warned Malia not to fall in love with Scott because a) he has absolutely 0 right to advise her on anything and b) because of the history between Scott and Peter. In a way, a relationship with Malia is just another thing tying Scott to someone that’s repeatedly caused harm to him and his friends and was the initial cause for all the pain he’s suffered in the last couple years. I just find this dynamic worth exploring. 

Malia/Derek/Peter

The Hales 2.0. Derek and Malia deserve to bond over unwillingly being related to Peter, that scumbag. 

Malia/Stiles/Peter

Stiles and Peter are so fun together and Stalia is my jam. Throw in an antagonistic Malia and Peter relationship and they’re entertaining as hell. Much more lighthearted than Malia/Scott/Peter.  

Stiles/Malia/Lydia 

To clarify, this has nothing to do with a love triangle and everything to do with how their personalities play off each other. It’s one of those trios where together, they’re either terrifying or absolute morons. 

Stiles/Cora/Derek

Admittedly, my version of this is very Sterek+Cora and the hilarity of Stiles and his attraction to Hales but it’s also 3x snark and you really can’t go wrong. 

Scott/Stiles/Melissa 

It’s Melissa and her boys 1.0. This woman is by far the best parent on this show, and I love the specific dynamic among these three. Melissa might not always like Stiles, but she cares about him and there’s the mutual understanding that they both adore Scott and would do anything for him. Also, Mel being exasperated by the dumbass duo is always funny.  

Kate/Allison/Chris

Lowkey another custody battle because Kate and Chris do fight to be the bigger influence on Allison This is such a tragic trio to me, and the lesson here is basically that sometimes love isn’t enough. Chris and Kate both genuinely love Allison and she loves them too but can’t have both and at some point, she has neither. Kate and Chris care about each other, but that’s not enough either. In the end, they all lose each other. There’s no happy ending for them, at least not with each other. 

Derek/Stiles/Peter

Stiles just has chemistry (not necessarily romantic) with all Hales and this trio really shines through in 3x01 and in S3 in general. “Chess is Stiles’s game” asgdhfjgh. I wanted more of that very specific dynamic. 

That was a hell lot longer than I thought it would be, but what can you do. Feel free to tell me your own opinions in the tags/comments.  

[coaxionunlimited]

Moderately Rare Untamed/MDZS Fic Recs

For when you find fic from sorting by kudos, but you’ve got tag fatigue and you want to read something new. Or, hey, maybe you just want some MDZS fic recs. I’m not here to judge. * means it’s incomplete, for those of you that care.

Obligatory WangXian Category:

crack in the mirror by the_pretzel*: The premise of this one is that Wei Wuxian gets transported from the modern world into a mystery novel series, set in ancient China. But he’s in the body of a character that’s about to get married, and then murdered by his husband. So he breaks the engagement by starting a new one with Lan Wangji and then the first chapter ends. This one is a rollercoaster. WWX soon discovers that his character’s been keeping secrets, and he’s got to figure them out if he wants to get out of this alive. If there was a best drama award for fics, this one would get it. Every chapter has me on the edge of my seat in a different way, as WWX gets out of one mess only to find himself in a bigger one. And that doesn’t even touch on the romance - this is one of the ones where you can just about feel all the pining LWJ is doing, even though it’s WWX pov and he’s oblivious to all of it. Honestly, this fic is the reason this rec list exists.

set your old heart free series by words-writ-in-starlight: Do you like crying? I like crying. That’s why I’m recommending this series to you, so you can cry too! I’m putting this under WangXian, because it’s a story about Lan Wangji and you can’t really have LWJ without the pining, but the real core of the story is the family LWJ has built in Cloud Recesses. Lan Shizui and Lan Xichen, and eventually (because this series starts just after WWX dies - what, I did say I liked crying) Wei Wuxian joins in. There’s even a little Wen Ning! If you like having feelings and also any of the characters I’ve mentioned, like, at all, this series is worth checking out.

The Terminus of Gravity by sealdog: Every fandom needs a space opera au, and sealdog delivers. This is pretty much a strait transportation of the plot of canon to the future and also space, with a side of epistolary and Wen remnants family time, and I’ll stop there because I don’t really want to spoil it. I’m a huge sucker for melancholy and pining and also well written space operas, because even if the premise isn’t your game, it is well written, and it’s worth a read.

Tales from Bunny Mountain by telarna: Lan sect turns into bunnies because of an excess of yin ener- look, we get Lan Zhan as a bunny with bonus Lan Shizui as a bunny. Do you really care why? This is another one of those fics that’s in the WangXian section because if LWJ and WWX are in a fic together, some things just come naturally, but the real draw for me is- well, I’m not going to lie, most of the draw was LWJ as a bunny, but I stayed with the fic for Jin Ling. Good Jin Ling characterization and a lovely, mischievous WWX, who also happens to be a very good uncle. And we have Lan sect as bunnies. Terrible, troublesome bunnies. 11/10, a must read.

through a window softly by impossibletruths: Okay, finally, we finish off the WangXian section with a fic that is actually about WangXian, not just featuring it prominently. through a window softly is a college au where LWJ and WWX are two different types of music major and also neighbors. WWX plays flute and LWJ plays violin and sometimes they stand outside their apartments and play together and pine for the mystery person that’s playing music with them. Look, they fall in love through playing music together, I’ve been looking for a fic like this since WWX first pulled out his flute in canon. There’s misunderstandings and identity porn, if you need some excellent bonus reasons to click this one, and I enjoyed both of those immensely. But what I really, truly loved was WangXian and love and music, and the intersection of all three.

Nie Huaisang: gen edition. Because I have a favorite character and that’s your problem now.

Mistakes We Made by Rachel3*: Nie Huaisang travels back in time and decides to prevent his brother’s death. This is the Nie Huaisang fic for me. I love love love his characterization here. Rachel3 strikes the delicate balance between the sweet kid he once was and the mastermind he grows up to be, making him competent but not an OP genius and sympathetic but not, like, a very good person. The plot is complex and realistic, tackling the sort of complex struggles (both interpersonal and large scale) that time travel fics very rarely bother with. If you've ever been curious about NHS, if you’ve ever even wanted to know him slightly better, this is the fic for you.

The Lost Cause by KouriArashi: AU in which Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao work together to take down Jin Guangshan from the beginning. I recommended the last fic for good characterization. I can’t in good conscience say the same for this fic, but that’s kind of the point. If you’re tired of moderation and realism and just want someone to take the hammer and fix canon already, this is the story for you. It’s hilarious and cathartic, and manages to be totally lighthearted even though it’s 100% about murder and manipulation. 

say those words (it’s not forgotten) by paranoid_fridge: This is edging on too well known for this list, but hey! My recs, my rules. And this is an absolute must read for everyone ever. If you haven’t read it, you should, and if you have read it, you can probably stand to do it again. This is a story about Nie Huaisang’s birthday. It’s a slice of life story, and a character study, and a little bit of a feel good hurt comfort fic, and it does all of those things magnificently. The author tags every relationship in this fic except the one braincell trio, which is a shame because it really is a NHS & WWX & JC fic, and if you weren’t craving one of those then why are you in this fandom? Why are you on my reclist? 

SangCheng is my OTP and that is also your problem: 

best behavior by inberin: I might as well take this space to recommend the whole sangcheng revenge au (dancing ashes under the sun (will cast their shadow when the winds rise) by paranoid_fridge really is the fic for it, but it’s too well known to make this list). The premise is simple, Jiang Cheng lost his golden core, the Wens won, and Nie Huaisang is taking them down from the inside with JC as his right hand man. best behavior makes the list for JC and NHS trolling each other (my favorite part of any sangcheng fic), and the lovely angst of two teenagers who grew up much too fast. The writing style of this one is lovely and poetic, the imagery is on point, and the sangcheng chemistry is the best.

Of Trespassing and Table Slams by LiteralistSin: I’ve put a fluffy fic in every category so far, and it’s SangCheng’s turn. There’s not much plot to this one, just SangCheng trying to outmaneuver each other and NHS being a little shit, and JC getting to win for once. Oh, yeah, and NHS gets kissed on a table. Everything my SangCheng loving heart needs.

everything rynleaf has ever written:  I’m putting this one under sangcheng because rynleaf has three sangcheng fics, and I couldn’t pick just one. Really though, you should at least check out What Remains of Meng Yao too, if you like crying. The sangcheng fics all strike the lovely balance between sangcheng tension and trolling each other and really truly sincerely caring about each other beneath all of it. Rynleaf writes some of the sweetest Jiang Cheng you ever did see, even when you’re looking through NHS’ jaded eyes. NHS is great here too, in all his secrets and his magnificent bastardry, you can just feel the smug smile he’s got on in every scene.

our footsteps sing a reckless serenade by ThirtySixSaveFiles: Because I cannot believe this one has so few kudos. Seriously, it’s a 46,000 word long modern with magic au where Jiang Cheng and NHS have an arranged marriage and fall in love. And that’s not even getting into the intrigue and the secrets NHS is keeping, and the murder mystery- There’s a lot of reasons to love this fic, and you definitely want to read it and discover all of them.

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 41

(Taehyung X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Angst, but lots of fluff

WC: 3.6k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 40 | Chapter 41 | Chapter 42

You had never seen Jin so angry. The look on his face was almost enough to make you feel absolutely terrified, even if you knew that anger wasn’t directed at you.

There was no getting past being honest with Jin after he already heard so much. So Yoongi had grabbed his arm and hurriedly dragged him into the stairwell before attempting to calm him down and explain what he had heard.

But there was apparently no calming him down.

“And you guys felt like this wasn’t important information to share?” Seokjin asked.

“We thought it was better if less people knew about it,” Taehyung replied. “There’s nothing we can do at this point, and Bang PD already told noona that he’s going to let her finish healing without anything else being asked of her.”

“That doesn’t make it any less wrong,” Seokjin agitatedly replied. “Are you just letting it slide? Not going to do anything about it?”

“If you heard about that, then didn’t you hear what I told noona?” Yoongi asked, meeting Jin’s intensity.

“I heard Y/n saying about the article’s release being intentional and done behind her back,” Jin answered. “I wasn’t close enough to make out anything before that. But frankly, I don’t care what you said, Yoongi. Something should be done about it!”

“First of all, would you just- please calm down,” Yoongi said, attempting to do the same for himself. “Don’t go waking the whole building. And you should care about what I said before that. What do you want us to do, hyung? Barge into Bang’s office, tell him how much of an injustice it was, and demand he compensate her?”

“Sure, that sounds like a great start,” Jin said, still obviously very agitated, but his voice at a reasonable volume.

“Okay, then what?” Yoongi asked. “Do you think he’s going to just admit it? Do you think there is no chance whatsoever of it affecting noona’s job? Or our own? Do you really want to risk everything you’ve worked for for years, and risk making noona losing her job, make her have to move back home? While she’s still healing?”

“He can’t just do stuff like that, though!” Jin replied incredulously.

“He’s a businessman, Jin,” you said. “He saw an opportunity to better your guys’ image and popularity and he took it.”

Your friend turned to you and furrowed his brows. “You’re not telling me right now that you’re okay with him just- just using you like that, are you?”

“Of course I’m not!” you whisper yelled, making the boys around you flinch. “It is constantly bothering me. He called me earlier today, and I felt so awkward I had no idea how to talk to him. He apologized for asking me to go to the airport to pick you guys up, but I wanted so badly for him to come clean and apologize about the article instead. I can’t tell you how much I want to just wheel right into his office and demand that he tell me what he did and why he did it, even if I already know. I want to hear it straight from his mouth, and I want him to tell me he knows he did something wrong and say he’ll never do it again. But it’s not going to happen, Jin. It’s just not.”

Letting all of the anger you’ve felt over the situation out in your rant made you feel breathless. The others remained quiet for a moment, probably unsure of how to respond to something like that.

“Yoongi is right,” you said. “It’s wrong, and he shouldn’t have done it. I’m getting more attention than I ever asked for and it’s nerve-wracking being this much in the public eye. But what good will it do to ask for an apology? It will make him aware that I know what he did, and probably wonder who else knows. I have no idea if I’d get fired, if he’ll do something to make sure that I can’t tell anyone. And I’m scared of how it could affect you guys. I needed to talk to Tae and Yoongi today because I just had a lot of emotions and wanted to confront him, but knew it wasn’t a good idea and they helped reason that with me.”

Jin chewed on the inside of his cheek while he calmed himself down. “I’m still not okay with this.”

“Neither am I,” you admitted. “But what else can we do, really? Other than hope that he decides to come clean about it on his own.”

“Hyung, please promise you won’t do anything,” Tae pleaded in a small voice. “I really wish I could too, believe me. But I just don’t think this is one of those things we can fight.”

Seokjin didn’t look any of you in the eyes while he said, “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m sorry for exploding like that, I just-” he sighed, unable to finish his sentence.

“I know, hyung,” Yoongi said, placing a hand on Jin’s shoulder. “I felt the same when I found out. I understand.”

“Now I get why he’s acting so apologetic, though,” Seokjin said. “When he gave us permission to take a long break to take you out of the house, he just seemed odd. I couldn’t place what it was, but it was almost like he felt guilty. Which I guess could be explained by the airport, but it felt like more than that.”

“I mean, being attacked by a couple of sasaengs does make one afraid to leave the house when they’re so defenseless,” you said, laughing a little. “If I could stand on my feet and run away, that’s one thing, but I’m literally at others’ mercy like this.”

“That’s why you have us to protect you,” Tae said, smiling widely at you.

You smiled back, feeling more at ease now that you were all on the same page.

“Alright, let’s get back before someone else gets curious and eavesdrops,” Yoongi said, sending Jin a teasing look.

It was Jin who took you back to your apartment, helping you into bed. Nobody really argued when he silently decided he’d do it, figuring it would help him feel better to help you in the ways that he at least knew he could.

“I seriously can’t wait until you can start walking again,” he said as he helped you gather your covers and tuck in. “Not that it’s a burden to help you, but just because I know how frustrating it is for you.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, you and me both.”

Jin suddenly looked serious as he sat on the edge of your bed. “Y/n, you know you can always come to me for anything, right? If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

You smiled at him. “I know Jin. I promise I will. If I need to talk or just need some company or something, you’re the first person I’d go to.”

“You really are like family, you know?” he said. “It’s not just me. But you really are like a sister to me. So I want to be a good brother to you.”

“You are, Jin. I treasure your friendship. And I love being a part of this family. I would never trade any of you guys for anything.”

“Even if it meant you’d instantly be rich?”

“Absolutely,” you didn’t hesitate to answer. “I’d pick living a poor and hard life if it meant that I had the seven of you with me. I’d even be willing to be stuck in a wheelchair for life.”

Jin laughed quietly. “Well, we’re for sure going to try to not let any of that happen. But thank you, I’m sure we all feel the same.”

He gave your hand a squeeze as he leaned in to kiss your forehead before getting up and you one last ‘good night’ while he left.

You really did have such a wonderful family here.

By now it had been about two months since your injury. It could take up to six for your legs to fully heal, and with you staying entirely off your feet the hope was that you’d heal more quickly than that.

Two days after that night in the stairwell, Mrs. Kim attended your doctor appointment with you. She was really sweet and you couldn’t have been more grateful for her wanting to keep you company during this short time. It was especially a relief having someone with you when you visited the doctor. Not that you were scared of hospitals or anything, but you often had trouble remembering to ask questions and just nodded along to what the doctor told you. So someone else being there who could remember to do so was a huge help.

After an x-ray of your legs to see how the bones were healing, your doctor informed you that the healing process was going well. It would still be a little while before he recommended anything like walking, but they were at least healed enough that putting some weight on them shouldn’t have been bothersome.

To test it out, he asked you to place your feet on the floor and put a small amount of pressure on them and told you to immediately stop if you felt any pain. You found that it didn’t really hurt with just a bit of weight, but it did feel weird to do so for the first time in so long.

With the confirmation that it didn’t cause any pain, he told you that you were able to assist when people helped you in and out of your chair now. They still had to hold the majority of your weight, but walking lightly to help make it easier on them was no problem.

It was small progress, but it made you feel happy and excited, nonetheless.

After the doctor appointment, you decided you wanted to go back to the office first and let Bang and hopefully the boys know the news.

You felt nervous since this would be your first time seeing him in person since you learned about the article, at least if he was available to see you. But you felt it was important that he knew any progress in your condition and it wasn’t like you could avoid him forever. You had to see him at some point, so might as well rip the band-aid off now.

Your boss ended up not being at his office, and a quick message to Sejin let you know that the boys were practicing choreography for the concert so you headed toward the practice room in the meantime. You waited outside with Mrs. Kim, watching through the window as they practiced for Boyz With Fun. The choreography for the song was more lighthearted and didn’t need to be precise since the song was mostly for fun, but it was still very high energy.

When the song ended and didn’t restart right away, Taehyung’s mother knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to intrude without permission. It was Hoseok who came to open it, smiling brightly despite looking exhausted. “Hello eomeoni, noona. What are you guys doing here?”

“We wanted to stop and say hi,” you said. “We just came from my doctor appointment.”

“Oh, that’s right! That was today!” Hoseok sounded excited. “You can come in. We’re due for a break anyway.”

He opened the door wide, holding it while you wheeled through after Tae’s mom.

“You had your appointment today?” Namjoon asked from his spot on the floor through ragged breaths. “How’d it go?”

“My legs are healing well,” you said with a smile. “He said I can put a little bit of pressure on my feet now.”

“Really?!” Jimin asked, sitting up straight after having been laying flat on the floor.

You nodded. “No walking or anything yet, but he said I can put some weight on them to help when you guys are moving me in and out of the chair.”

“That’s great!” Tae said, smiling widely as your eyes met his. “That’s huge progress. That means your bones are healing really well.”

You smiled softly, feeling your heart skip a beat. It felt silly, but everyone seemed so enthusiastic and made it seem like it was such a big deal when it was really only just a small amount of progress.

That, and how are you supposed to not feel affected when Taehyung was staring at you like that.

“Yes, the doctor said she’s healing really well,” Mrs. Kim said. “He said she’s healing faster than they expected, almost as fast as they hoped she would. He expects it to be no more than two months, if that, until she’s able to start getting back on her feet.”

“And then you’ll be able to resume being our manager,” Jungkook said.

“Well, after I can walk again, yeah,” you said. “I can already feel how weak my legs are. They’re going to need a good amount of physical therapy before I can walk entirely unassisted.”

“But that’s still so much closer than it could have been,” Namjoon smartly added. “With how bad that fracture was, the doctor said it could have taken up to six months. But since you’ve been really good about resting your legs, I guess that helps a whole lot, huh?”

You nodded. “That’s what he said. He said he could tell that I’d been following his instructions to not put any pressure or weight on them.”

“How much longer are you boys practicing?” Mrs. Kim asked.

“Probably another hour,” Hoseok said. “We have a few things to refine, but we made a deal that if we can do the choreography with no mistakes for five runs in a row then we can go home early. I think we can do it.”

“Well, I guess I’d better go get dinner ready then, hm?” she responded. “I want to make something a little special today since we got the good news from the doctor.”

“It’s really no big deal, eomeoni,” you insisted.

“Nonsense! Every step is progress, and that’s something to celebrate.”

“I still need to let Bang know,” you said. “I might need to just call or text him to tell him.”

You could see Jin’s head turning to you out of the corner of your eye at the mention of your boss’ name. “We can tell him for you if you want,” he said.

“It’s fine.” You smiled in his direction. “I can talk to him.”

Jin took a moment to think before nodding, clearly understanding what you meant. You were okay with talking to him despite the fact that you still hadn’t quite gotten over what happened.

“Do you want to stay, noona?” Taehyung asked hesitantly. “I know you used to like to watch us practice. You could stay and go home with us?”

You turned toward his mother, about to ask her what she thought before she beat you to answering.

“That sounds like a lovely idea,” she said, smiling. “You have been wanting to get out of the house more anyway. Do you want to stay?”

“That would be nice,” you didn’t hesitate to answer. Seeing Tae’s boxy smile break out on his face at your response most certainly didn’t make your heart skip again. Not at all.

“Alright, I’ll see you back at your apartment in a little while then,” Mrs. Kim said before turning toward the door. “Take good care of her, boys!”

When she left, you wheeled yourself to the front of the room, as close to the corner as you could so you wouldn’t be in the way of their reflection.

“Do you want to sit on the floor?” Taehyung asked. “We can use our jackets to make a little seat for you, it might be more comfortable than your chair.”

You thought about it for a moment, realizing that that would help keep you more out of the way for them since your chair could be folded up as well. “If it’s not too much trouble, then sure. It’ll keep me from blocking your guys’ reflection, too.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it like that!” he backtracked, flailing his hands around a bit.

“Whatever is more comfortable for you is more important,” Namjoon chimed in. “You’re not in the way, not at all. But if you’d prefer to sit on the floor, then it’s no trouble for us.”

You smiled at their thoughtfulness. “I know that’s not why you asked, Tae. It’s okay, it was just my own concern. But yeah, if you don’t mind I would definitely like to spend some time out of this chair.’”

“Absolutely,” Jin answered, smiling reassuringly. Everyone jumped into action, grabbing their spare jackets to pile into the corner.

You wheeled yourself away so they could work and turned to look at what they were doing. A smile slowly spread across your face as you watched them quietly discuss how to set everything out so that it was the smoothest and most comfortable they could make it.

It made your heart swell, the amount of thought and care they put into such a small task. You really didn’t know what you would do without them.

After almost everyone sat on the little pile of clothes, testing to make sure that it was comfortable enough (It was only supposed to be Jimin, but then a few of the others decided they wanted to make sure themselves, which of course made you laugh), they dispersed and you approached the makeshift seat. You locked your wheels, Taehyung approaching to help you get out. Scooching forward as usual, you internally reminded yourself that it was okay to put some weight on your feet to help him out. Especially since you were being moved to the floor, it would require a bit more maneuvering than the usual chair-to-bed or vice versa.

But when Taehyung reached out for you, he wasn’t standing in front of you and with both arms reaching underneath your arms. He instead was a little to the side, one arm wrapping around your shoulders as the other looped underneath your knees. Just as you were opening your mouth to ask what he was doing, he lifted you with ease, hands reflexively linking behind his neck to keep yourself steady.

Before you could even blink you were being held princess style, which most definitely wasn’t the standard way of picking someone up out of a wheelchair. You had to resist the urge to tuck your face into his chest to hide your embarrassment, brain working well enough to notice that that would only make things worse.  

“What are you doing?” you finally managed to ask as he knelt down next to the clothing pile to set you down. “Why’d you pick me up like that?”

“It was easier,” he answered. “Less shuffling and easier to get you sitting down.”

It felt like forever before you were finally sitting on the floor, even though it must have must have been no more than ten seconds. Once he pulled away you found yourself feeling simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the loss of his warmth.

Looking up at the others, you caught the knowing smirk and raised eyebrows on Jin’s face. You felt a sudden urge to smack the expression off of him, but of course you couldn’t exactly get up and walk.

“Comfy?” Hoseok asked, giving some of the material around you another fluff for good measure.

“Yes, it’s nice and soft. Thank you,” you said.

“Good,” he responded. “Alright, let’s get her chair folded up and get back to practice, guys!”

It was really nice to watch them practice again. It felt so normal, you could almost forget that your injury ever happened and like you were still working with your boys almost every day.

At one point, when they had just a moment in between runs through the choreography, Jimin captured a selfie of the two of you. He sent it to Sejin with what he wanted to caption it with to get it approved before saving to post on Twitter later.

It ended up being closer to two hours, rather than the one that Hobi projected, before they were perfect enough to head home early. Luckily, you weren’t picked up so intimately this time as you were helped back into your chair by Yoongi. He said he wanted to let you practice and get used to letting your feet rest on the floor and help do some of the work.

You appreciated your heart being saved from anymore palpitations today.

Even on the walk home, you felt so refreshed at even the smallest return to normalcy that you didn’t care about Jungkook wanting to push your chair for you when you’d usually insist on wheeling yourself.

Mrs. Kim’s delicious homemade dinner filled with laughter and the company of your closest friends warmed your heart even more, so by the time you got around to texting your boss if he was available and calling him when he responded, you didn’t feel even the slightest pit in your stomach as you had the previous day.

You still had quite a while to go, but everyone was right. You were making progress and despite how small, it was reason enough to be excited and celebrate. It was enough to help keep you going as you waited for the day that you could walk again, at least for now. Nothing was perfect and there were certainly more things that you needed to personally work through, but it was the little steps to be celebrated that would help you climb your way there.

After laying down for the night, you got the notification that BTS tweeted. You clicked to see a sweet but short message about how you heard good news from the doctor today, and how excited they were to have you cheering on their practice.

You fell asleep with a smile on your face and dreamt of your head pressed against a warm chest while strong arms carried you.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 40 | Chapter 41 | Chapter 42

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[katierosefun]

well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013 

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 

movie: 

columbus 

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon 

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching 

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

[yungidreamer]

Summer Camp

Prequel to Party Break

7.2k words

Sometimes you find the right people in unexpected places.

Content warnings: Not a lot, mostly fluff, a little angst, some kissing, brief discussion about sexuality and homophobia. Summer love can sometimes last a lifetime.

pairing (trio-ing really, lol): Yunho, Mingi, unnamed female character (but now nicknamed)

“Are you excited for camp, sweetheart?” Her mother asked from the front seat of the car.

“Yeah I guess,” She shrugged, tucking the bookmark she had been holding into her book and letting it close.

“You’ll have fun,” Her father said from behind the wheel of the car. “Enjoy this time, it’s going to be one of the last free summers you’ll probably have. Summer camps were one of the best parts of my childhood. You don’t have many years like this left.”

“Jeez, you make it sound like she is on a slow walk to death, honey,” her mother chuckled. “She’s 18 and going into her senior year, it’s not like she is walking up to the wall in front of a firing squad.”

“I just wish I had known to appreciate this sort of stuff when I was her age,” he shrugged and patted his wife’s leg.

“She’s smart honey,” she assured him. “Probably smarter than either of us were at her age. Just let her enjoy it how she wants.” Her father grunted, quietly admitting she was right.

“You are sure you have everything?” Yunho’s mother asked, hugging him for the fifth time since she had begun helping him move his things into the cabin he would be staying in for the next week.

“Yes, mama,” replied patiently, unpacking a few things from his bag as he did.

“But you’ll call me if you need something, promise?” She fretted, looking down at her only son. How had he grown up so fast, she wondered to herself.

“I’ll call you even if I don’t,” he promised, standing up and giving her a hug.

“Did you find your bug spray?” She asked as she pulled back.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“And your sunscreen?” She followed up. “There is enough?”

“Yes, mama,” he laughed, she wouldn’t be herself if she wasn’t worrying about him.

“Okay, okay,” She looked around and gave a sigh. “Don’t forget to have fun, too.”

“I will,” he promised, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a reassuring smile.

“So this is where you’ll be staying?” Mingi’s father observed, coming into the wooden cabin where his son was busy messily pulling out his things into his designated drawers.

“Yeah, it seems alright,” he shrugged.

“Be sure to check your shoes before you put them on in the morning,” his mother warned from behind his father, poking her head into the space she could only call primitive. “Where is the bathroom anyway?”

“Uhh, a building or two over I think,” Mingi replied, not looking up from what he was doing. 

“You’ll be fine here?” She questioned, glancing at the other bunks in the room. “You will try to be careful; you won’t do something stupid just because someone asks you to, right?”

“Right, yeah, I’ll do my best not to do something really stupid at least,” He looked up at his mom with a wide grin. She knew him well.

“Have fun,” his father instructed, putting an arm around his wife. “This is supposed to be fun, after all.”

“Of course,” he promised, leaning in to give his mom a hug, then his father. “I’ll have fun and try not to be too stupid, at least.”

“Okay can I get the people in Arcadia cabin and Grand Teton cabin here with me!” A very cheery camp counselor who looked like he belonged on a beach catching waves. He was a blond, tan twenty something with blue eyes that sparkled with an undimmed joy in life. Yunho stepped forward, looking around to see five others move forward, coming to stand with him in front of the man.

“Okay so we need to break into pairs for this so let’s start with that,” he scanned the faces of the six boys who had gathered around him. “Let's start with names as I pick you out. So, uh, you?”

“Mingi,” the gangly, tall boy, dressed in jeans and an old looking black t-shirt answered.

“Great, and you?” He turned on Yunho.

“I’m Yunho,” he answered, slightly more timidly than the other boy had.

“Awesome, cool name,” the surfer man complimented with a grin. “You two can be a pair today. Why don’t you go ahead and go to the dock to grab a canoe and your life vests.” Yunho nodded and moved closer to the other boy, following him down the short path to the wooden dock that stretched out onto the lake.

“So Yunho, have you done this before?” Mingi asked, passing him a life vest.

“No,” Yunho admitted, slipping it on over his head.

“Me neither but it can’t be that hard.” Mingi declared, looking at the old canoe.

“I guess we’ll see,” Yunho gave him an amused smile. A group of girls joined them on the dock, chatting and giggling amongst themselves. Mingi straightened up and put a smile on his face, looking at all of them and watching as they milled around, preparing to canoe themselves. Yunho, on the other hand, took half a step back and crossed his arms, seemingly trying to shrink back into himself. The girls, for their part, mostly ignored them, being perfectly happy with the lighthearted conversation they had going between them.

“Okay guys, let’s get in.” Surfer dude said joining them with the last pair of boys from the cabins. “You guys can have the one there, I’ll just hold it while you step in.” He drew near and knelt on the deck, holding one end of the craft and gestured for them to step in. “Both at the same time, get low and put one leg in…then shift your weight over to the center…” Both boys knelt down and stuck out one foot into the center of the boat, reaching to the sides to try and steady themselves. “Good, yeah, hold onto the sides and sort of sliiiiiiide yourself in now.” The boys did, managing to plop themselves in with only a brief moment of seeming like they might capsize. “Good, okay, here, see if you can’t get to the dock you can see over there and back first.”

He handed them each an oar and walked over to the next group to help them in their own canoe. The two boys looked at the oars and at a pair of the girls who were already underway, rowing with each of them taking one side.

“Do you want the right or the left?” Yunho asked from the back.

“Uh, right I guess,” Mingi decided, sticking his oar out that side.

“Sure,” Yunho gladly put his out into the water on the opposite side. “On three?”

“Okay, I’ll count,” Mingi agreed. With only a few moments of complete chaos that threatened to have them veer off in the completely wrong direction or tip over, they did, in fact, manage to make it to the other dock and back before disaster struck. 

On the final leg of the journey, the counselor decided to take the group on a little trip around the edge of the lake for the practice and to get to the dining hall where they would be having lunch in half an hour. Everyone, having had at least some practice, was able to keep pace with the counselor as he led the way near the shore. Yunho and Mingi were somewhere near the middle, mostly focused on not hitting any of the other crafts with their oars as they moved. The shore was lined with waving patches of reeds that unfortunately happened to be home to a couple of skittish ducks who decided to flee just when Mingi and Yunho were passing. Mingi, for all his pretenses of confidence, immediately shrieked and flung himself in the opposite direction from the kerfuffle, which unfortunately resulted in him tipping over their canoe and the one nearest them. Splashes and screeches ensued, with the occupants of both canoes now being left bobbing in the water, sputtering and struggling to get themselves righted next to their overturned boats.

“Okay everyone, keep going, I’m gonna take care of our friends here who have had a little accident,” the surfer counselor said over the din. The rest of the campers headed off, leaving him and the four in the water to sort out the mess.

“You moron!” One of the girls yelled, trying to push her long dark hair out of her face as she bobbed up and down.

“Okay if you can swim I want you to head for that little clearing on the shore a few meters back,” the counselor said as he righted the first of the boats with miraculous skill that did it without letting it take on much water. “It might take me a bit to get these boats back but you guys need to get back to your cabins and get changed for lunch. Take a quick shower to get clean and bring your wet clothes with you so I can get them washed for you in the machines for the counselors.”

“I can get one to shore if that would be helpful,” the second girl in the water offered, floating calmly by the second, still overturned canoe.

“Yeah, yeah, thanks Chipmunk, you’re the best,” he said with a big grin, heading to her to turn over the second one. 

“No problem, Chase,” she rolled her eyes. “Just don’t forget to mention to dad that I was a ‘team player.’”

“For sure,” he laughed. “I’ll tell him you were awesome in person when he comes to pick you up at the end of the week.”

“Uh huh,” she shook her head and grabbed a rope attached to one end of the boat and started towing it back to the shore as she headed there herself. Both Yunho and Mingi headed towards her, feeling dumb for not having thought to offer themselves.

“Can I help or something?” Yunho offered, swimming up beside her as she slowly made her way towards the gap at the shore.

“I’m fine, it’ll just take a little longer,” she gave him a bland and reassuring smile without taking a break in her slow backwards crawl through the water.

“I’m sorry for, you know,” he apologized, despite not having been the one to cause the tip over.

“It’s fine,” She chuckled. “Just made the day a little more exciting. But, uh, I’d avoid talking to Luci for a day or two.”

“Luci, that’s the other girl in your boat?” He asked, vaguely looking at her figure as she continued to storm off to the girls cabins.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “She’s staying in my cabin and she doesn’t seem like the most forgiving of people.”

“I guess,” Yunho said sheepishly.

“I’ll help you pull it ashore,” Mingi offered, now only knee deep in the water at the gap. The girl didn’t argue, changing position and pulling the boat as she walked in the water, now that it was shallow enough. They pulled it up onto the bank until it was almost completely out of the water.

“Thanks,” the girl said, taking a moment to pull off her drenched shoes and tossing her life vest into the canoe.

“I wasn’t scared, you know,” Mingi protested unprompted, tossing his own in after.

“Yeah, of course,” she gave him a grin and patted his arm before starting off barefoot through the grass.

“Hey, how do you know the counselor and why did he call you Chipmunk?” Yunho shouted after her.

“I used to have really chubby cheeks when he babysat me.” She shouted over her shoulder with a good natured laugh without interrupting her pace. Yunho’s mouth quirked into a half smile as he watched her walk away.

“I really wasn’t scared,” Mingi insisted, falling into pace alongside Yunho as he headed towards the area where their cabins were. When Yunho only responded with a sound of bland acknowledgement, he continued, “I was just a little surprised.”

“Well you certainly scared me,” Yunho chortled and shook his head. 

“Sorry,” Mingi gave him a chastened smile.

Mingi and Yunho were the only ones left in the cafeteria when she finally managed to get there. They were seated at one of the tables dressed in new dry clothes with messy damp hair. Chase was standing nearby chatting up one of the girls working in the kitchen. She made her way there first, handing him the damp sack that held both her and Laci’s dirty clothes.

“Laci decided she wanted to take a nap and had some snacks she had brought with her,” she informed him, handing it all over. “She’s in a shitty mood anyway, so it's probably for the best.”

“Do I need to send someone to check on her?” He asked half heartedly, only tearing his eyes away from the 20-something girl in the kitchen for a second.

“Maybe in an hour or like before dinner,” she shrugged.

“Okay, cool, thanks Chipmunk,” he flashed her a smile before turning back to chat with the other girl again. Rolling her eyes, she turned to get herself a plate and fill it with what was left of the lunch food. The food looked decent, if a little institutional, but it was at the very least plentiful. She piled a sandwich, some chips, and a bit of fruit salad on her plate, grabbed a can of soda, and went to sit with the two boys at the table. They both looked up as she sat down, straightening up in their seats as she did.

“Hi,” Yunho greeted, giving her a welcoming smile and nod.

“Is the food any good?” She asked, popping open the can of soda.

“It’s okay,” Mingi replied. “The ham sandwich was better than the tuna, though. That one was too soggy.”

“Good thing I got this one then,” she unwrapped her sandwich, flashing a little of the meat in between the pieces of bread.

“Good choice,” Yunho agreed with an approving grin.

“Uh, is Laci okay?” Mingi asked with a slight timidity, maybe with a tinge of regret.

“She’s not happy but she’ll be fine I think,” her tone was assuring and kind as she spoke between bites of her food. “Don’t worry though, I think she will get over it eventually.”

“I’m glad you are okay at least,” Mingi added, looking at his food as he spoke.

“Yeah,” Yunho agreed, offering her a soft smile. A shiver of happiness skated over her skin at the slight movement of his cupid bow lips. For the first time she actually bothered to look at both the boys at the table. They were both cute if a little awkward, like most guys her age. Yunho was tall and a little gangly, but had the promise of broad shoulders that would probably fill in over the next few years. His hair was a chocolate brown and a messy sort of cut that let the fringe in the front hang almost in his eyes. His dark eyes sparkled, set pleasantly into a heart shaped face. There was something intelligent and curious in his look, but it was well hidden behind his quiet façade. He was...interesting.

The boy across from him was stretched out and gangly, but in a way that would grow into a leanness in a few years. His hair was messy and a little too long, brushing the tops of his ears and past his eyebrows. Though he had behaved and spoken with a veneer of confidence, behind his dark eyes was a nervousness and perhaps a shade of confusion. His face was longer though his chin was just a little more blunt. As he sat looking back at her questioning face, his full, plush lips pressed into a line, obscuring their pleasant shape.

They were interesting individually but as a pair they were a perfect matching contrast. One with a quiet and shy confidence that was easy to miss and the other with a loud shell of confidence they used to hide a curious confusion with the world. 

“So are you two friends?” She asked, popping a chip into her mouth. 

“Uh not really,” Mingi replied, his eyes flicking over to the other boy to read his reaction as he spoke. “I mean, we just met when we were assigned to pair up.”

“Right, of course,” she bobbed her head. “Is this your first time here at the camp?”

“Yeah,” both boys replied simultaneously, smiling at each other in their synchronicity.

“What about you?” Yunho asked once the moment had passed.

“No, I’ve been coming for a while,” she shook her head. “My dad used to come to this camp when he was a kid so it's somehow like a family tradition to spend part of the summer here.”

“So that’s why you knew about how to canoe and stuff?” Mingi questioned further, shifting in his seat to face her more fully.

“I mean it’s one of the reasons,” she shrugged.

“Do you like doing outdoorsy sorts of stuff?” Yunho followed up, glad to have a direction for the conversation.

“I guess, maybe?” Her face scrunched up a little, testing the idea in her head.

“Well, I mean, what do you like doing?” Mingi asked, his eyes focused on her, though they flicked to the other boy as well, trying to read something in him.

“Reading,” her first reply came quickly, almost without thought. “I like playing games, watching movies...like the same thing as everyone else I think.”

“Yeah, me too,” Yunho agreed. “What are your favorite books?”

“I like a lot of different stuff,” she shrugged, trying to think of something she really liked. “Fantasy books can be fun, but I’ve been reading a lot of classics recently.”

“Did you bring any books with you?” Mingi asked curiously.

“My dad took a few he saw on the top of my bag,” She scoffed at the memory, a shimmer of satisfaction sparkling in her eyes. It was exactly why she had packed those books there on the top of her clothes and hidden the books she actually wanted to read near the bottom. “Luckily he didn’t look too closely and didn’t find my collection of Austen and Dahl which I have been wanting to reread for a while.”

“Sneaky,” Yunho gave her a conspiratorial smile. “I brought something to read at night. I’m reading through Harry Potter again.”

“Oh yeah, those are fun books,” she agreed.

“I brought some comics,” Mingi offered, wanting to join in the conversation. “I guess they are really manga…”

“Oh nice,” she gave him a sunny smile. “I’ve only read a few graphic novels, but they can be really cool.”

“You can read some of it too, if you want,” Mingi shifted forward in his seat.

“Sure,” she nodded, drinking the last of her soda and gathering up her trash. “There should be some free time after dinner tonight. Maybe you can bring some with you then.”

“Okay, I will,” Mingi was visibly relieved to have not been rebuffed.

“Alright, I’m going to go join everyone out doing archery for a little while,” she stood up and gathered her things. “See you guys later though.”

“Bye,” they both said, watching her go. After a moment of staring awkwardly at each other at the table, they too, gathered their things and left.

After dinner the campers were left with free and unstructured time to just hang out with old friends and get to know new friends. Everyone was spread around the grounds in groups, large and small, with most people gathered somewhere near the large bonfire being presided over by Chase and some other counselors. Yunho wandered down from his cabin in search of his new...friends? Maybe they were, or would be? He clutched the book he was carrying to his chest as he looked around the open space to see if he could spot either of them.

It took a few minutes of wandering before he finally laid eyes on her, feet curled under her as she sat on a towel laid out under one of the huge maples at the edge of the clearing. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she was dressed in an old graphic tee and yoga pants. She looked comfortable and almost like she was in her own world. For a moment, he considered not bothering her. Maybe he had read it wrong, maybe she was just being nice. Well you’ll never know unless you try, he could hear his mother’s voice say encouragingly.

“Hey,” he greeted, stepping closer and taking a seat on the grass beside her.

“Hello,” her warm and sunny smile instantly made him feel at ease. She tucked a bookmark in her book and let it close.  “How was the rest of your day?”

“It was okay,” He shrugged, smiling shyly. Honestly, it had been hard since he didn’t know anyone and sometimes he wasn’t that good at making new friends. As good as he could be at reading people, having confidence in his own judgement was as easy as it sounded.

“Not knowing anyone doesn’t make it easy does it?” She asked, almost like she could read his thoughts.

“No it doesn’t,” he admitted, feeling a blush bloom on his cheeks.

“Most of the people I know from previous years aren’t here anymore,” she shared. “And the couple that are...aren’t exactly friends of mine.”

“Well we can be friends,” he offered, quickly following up with, “If you want, I mean.”

“That would be nice,” she put a reassuring hand on his knee. Behind him she caught sight of a lost looking Mingi wandering around half a dozen meters away. She shouted his name and waved him over. A wave of relief flowed over his whole body, visibly, as he turned and started making his way over to them.

“I thought maybe you weren’t here,” Mingi admitted as he took a seat near both of them.

“Nah this place is just big and I think I sort of picked a corner,” she admitted. “You know, wanted to get away from the crowds and all.”

“It’s nice over here,” He agreed, giving them both a big gummy smile. “I brought cookies, you guys want some?” Mingi pulled a box of cookies out of the small bag he had been carrying with him.

“Yes, please,” Yunho nodded, smiling back.

“Sure,” she replied, extending a hand to him. Mingi passed cookies to both of them before taking one himself. He managed to finish the cookie in one bite, stuffing the whole thing in his face and using his cheeks as reserves to hold what he couldn’t swallow as he chewed. The sight made her laugh. It was cute and endearing in a childlike way. He literally did everything with full passion.

Yunho suppressed a laugh at the sight himself, imagining what his mother would have said if she saw him do that at the table one evening. The other boy was boastful and loud at times, but quite clearly kind and wanted more than anything to be included in a circle of friends that wanted him.

“So where are you both from?” She asked them, nibbling at her cookie.

“Rochester,” Yunho replied after swallowing the last bit of cookie he had in his mouth.

“Me, too.” She said happily. “Wait, where do you go to school then?”

“Schroeder,” Yunho answered.

“Hey, that is where I am supposed to go this fall,” Mingi jumped in, speaking past the last of his cookie.

“Really?” Yunho gave an excited laugh. “That is awesome. What about you though?”

“Oh Thomas,” she replied fluidly. “I think it is pretty close though.”

“Yeah, it is,” Yunho confirmed. “Did you just move here, Mingi?”

“Mmm,” he confirmed, handing out more cookies to everyone. “Yeah my family just moved there, like, a month ago.”

“Well, at least you’ll know someone when you start school,” she pointed out. They all fell into comfortable conversation about school and moving and just getting to know each other. They discovered that they had a lot in common, with similar tastes in movies, books, games, and music. They spent hours that night, chatting about nothing and everything until the counselors started to send everyone back to their cabins to go to sleep. She left them both with a hug, promising to see them tomorrow.

Yunho and Mingi walked back to their cabins together, parting with a hug before they headed to their own cabins to sleep. Yunho usually read for an hour before sleeping, but, he told himself as he tucked himself into his bunk, the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would come.

“So you’ve made friends with some of the new boys?” Laci noted casually, as she lay in her bunk across the room.

“Yeah, a couple of them. Why?” She asked, looking away from the pages of her book in the dim light reflected from the pages of her book from the clip on book light.

“Like, could you invite them to come play with us tomorrow?” Laci’s voice was tinted with excitement and conspiratorial camaraderie. “The girls from Placid cabin have agreed to sneak out to play some games, but we need some boys to play. So...can you get them to bring their cabins to meet us?”

“I can probably ask but what exactly do you mean ‘play?’” She let the book fall back onto herself as she looked at the other girl across the room.

“You know, fun stuff,” Laci evaded for a second. “Truth or dare, spin the bottle, that stuff. Who knows, like, just something fun that we can all do with boys.”

“I mean, I don’t know that they want to, but I can ask,” She picked up her book, turning her attention back to it.

“I hope they come,” Laci mused. “Yunho is pretty cute. And Mingi isn’t so bad but I still haven’t forgiven him for that shit on the lake.”

“Yeah they are and I am sure Mingi is sorry,” she said off-hand largely focusing on the words on the page in front of her.

“If he apologizes, I might think about forgiving him,” Laci said musing mostly to herself.

“Okay okay okay,” Laci raised her voice over the din of chat of people gathered in the dim arts and crafts cabin they had snuck into to meet. “Everyone get into a circle and make it boy girl boy girl.”

Everyone milled around, slowly managing to organize themselves into a circle with an appropriate mix of genders. Mingi squeezed himself in next to her, the only girl he knew and Yuhno tried to do the same, but Laci grabbed the ankle of his jeans as he passed then patted the space beside her, inviting him to sit beside her. After a seconds pause, he took the invitation, having seen the other spot to the side of her be filled with his cabin-mate San.

With everyone seated, Laci cleared her throat and took charge of the room again. “Okay so let’s start some truth or dare. Someone has to go first, so I can do it. Let’s see. The person to your right gets to give you your question or your dare, whatever you pick.” She straightened up and looked at Yunho beside her, giving him her best sparking smile. “So that means you and I pick truth.”

“Weak!” someone in the circle coughed, sparking a ripple of laughter among everyone in the circle.

“Okay truth,” Yunho said aloud, buying time as he tried to think of a good question. “Have you ever cheated on a test?”

“Once,” Laci admitted with a giggle. “But I only did it that once and it was totally justified because I had been sick for like a week before the test. I could not have learned everything in time and I was not going to let my GPA fall.”

A few laughs trickled around the circle and Laci grinned, feeling like she had adequately won over everyone there. “Okay your turn.” She turned on the person to her left asking truth or dare. The turns progressed until San went, having had to chug a soda for his dare.

“I pick dare I guess,” She shrugged, giving San a sideways look as she said it.

“Okay, pick someone in the circle to kiss,” he said flirtatiously, clearly hoping that she would take the easy answer and pick him.

“Someone, huh?” she scoffed, ended the sound with a sigh, looking around the circle as she did.

Mingi’s I can-- and Yunho’s If you want to-- both came out at the same time eliciting a couple of hoots and giggles from people in the circle. Both boys' ears went visibly pink in the dim light of the lantern that had been put in the center of the circle.

“You know, if both of you are so eager to kiss,” Laci teased. “Maybe you two should just kiss each other.”

“It’s not…” Mingi started, his protest tapering off after the couple of words he got out.

“I could do worse than kissing him,” Yunho defended, casting a look to Laci beside him.

“What, you think he’s cute?” Laci let out a scoff of disbelief.

“I mean he is,” She challenged from across the circle, giving her cabin-mate a blank look. “Just objectively. He’s cute.”

“Oh my god,” Laci gasped. “You both like him.”

She rolled her eyes and turned to Mingi beside her. “Is it okay if I, you know…” Mingi nodded, his eyes dropping to look at her lips in anticipation. She sat up on her knees and put a hand on his cheek to guide his face to hers until their lips met in a soft but sustained kiss. She pulled away and sat back in her place coolly and calmly with the faintest pink blush on her cheeks.

“Poor Yunho, getting left out,” Laci tutted, giving him an enticing look as she sat beside him. She was clearly hoping to step in, in the perceived gap that had been left between the trio. From across the circle, Mingi stood up, taking large and confident steps across the distance until he knelt down in front of the other boy.

“Do you want me to…” Mingi let the drop of his eyes to the other boy’s lips. Yunho nodded, leaning forward ever so slightly. Mingi’s large, gangly hands went up to cup the other boys face, angling it slightly so their noses brushed slightly as they passed on the way to their lips meeting. Neither of them had ever kissed another boy before. It hadn’t really been something Yunho had considered but it was...nice. He had to admit that Mingi’s plush lips were soft and warm as they pressed to his own. They sent a thrill through him.

Mingi’s heart had been in his throat as he had crossed the room. Fear of rejection had thrummed through his chest but his distaste at seeing his friend being teased had outweighed his fear. He was grateful Yunho had said yes and he really wasn’t sure why because it went beyond being happy he hadn’t been disgusted at the idea. His face in his hands was comfortable as he nuzzled against his lips. The soft puff of Yunho letting go of a breath he had been holding sent a shiver along Mingi’s spine.

“Hey, boys, do you want to come with me? I think there are more fun things we can do than hang out here.” Her voice was suddenly beside them and they pulled apart to find her standing beside them, hands outstretched. They nodded and shuffled to their feet, each taking one of her hands as they walked out together.

“Where are they going?” Laci sputtered.

“Somewhere they are all going to get lucky,” San snickered, craning to watch them through the doorway. Before they disappeared he yelled, “Can I come, too?” Yunho turned with a grin and shook his head, slipping an arm around her shoulder as they disappeared from their view.

She led them down towards the lake, silently sneaking past the counselor cabin which still was buzzing with activity. They ended up at the more distant dock where they found a large row boat tied to the dock.

“A-are you sure going out on the water is a good idea?” Mingi asked, squeezing his hands together in front of him.

“You afraid? Think you’ll get us all wet again?” Yunho teased, putting an arm around him, hugging him to his side.

“No, I’ve never been afraid in my life,” Mingi jutted his chin out with a great show of confidence. They looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes. Yunho gave him a playfully skeptical look which Mingi matched with one of false confidence. It only took a second for them to devolve into fits of laughter. Mingi’s face split into a grin of pure joy and Yunho brought his hand up to his mouth as he giggled gleefully.

“Don’t worry,” She told them, laughing herself. “This is much more stable. We’ll be fine. Come here.” She shepherded them into the boat, letting Yunho sit in the rowing seat with her at one end and Mingi at the other. It took a few minutes for Yunho to get a handle on the rowing, but soon enough he ended up being pretty competent at ferrying them all around with strong controlled strokes.

“Sorry I dragged you guys to that,” She told them as they bobbed up and down on the still waters. “I should have guessed it would end up with that.”

“It’s okay,” Yunho shook his head. “It wasn’t so bad and I probably would have been fine with staying, but both of you were the only reasons I was there.”

“I just,” she sighed. “I’m really sorry if you feel like you got pushed into something because people were being stupid.”

“Do you regret it?” Mingi asked, poking his head around from the other side of Yunho. A worried look was visible on his face even in the dim blue light of the half full moon.

“Do you mean do I regret going?” She quirked her head to the side.

“No I mean, do you regret kissing me?” Mingi let himself be vulnerable as he put the question out there.

“I don’t,” she assured him.

“Then…” Mingi paused again, his eyes touching on the other boy between them before continuing. “Were you grossed out by us...when we…”

“Oh no, nonononono,” she put up her hands, physically waving away the idea. “If you two like each other, that doesn’t change anything for me. I don’t mind becoming a third wheel or something.”

Yunho let go of the oars, letting them hang loosely from their rowlocks. He put his hands out, taking her wrists and pulling her into his lap. She sat stiff for a moment as the boat pitched slightly as the balance of the weight shifted. He waited for her to relax with one arm curled lightly around her waist and the other resting on her lap.

“What if I don’t want to have to pick?” Yunho asked quietly, resting his forehead against her shoulder.

“What do you mean?” She asked, leaning into his embrace.

“It’s weird,” Yunho admitted. “Until Mingi kissed me, I hadn’t really thought about it. I like girls right? They are the ones I’ve kissed before, the ones I’ve looked at that way. He’s a good friend, I feel happy when he is around, he brings a smile to my face. I want to share funny things that happen to me over the day with him because I think he’ll get it and he’ll smile too. But I always think of you, too. Maybe I sort of want both. Maybe we are just friends that have fun together, maybe we are more but we don’t have to figure that out now, do we?”

“Is that your way of saying you kinda want a kiss but let’s keep it casual or something?” Her laughter sparkled over the quiet stillness of the lake.

“More like I wanna see where this goes without putting it in a box,” his hand caressed her thigh and he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“I’m not saying no, but I think there is someone else you have to ask, too,” she poked his shoulder then pointed at the other boy behind them. Mingi was still in his seat watching them looking like he wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to be doing. When her eyes landed on him, he straightened up, eyes widening with a hundred questions.

“What?” Mingi asked nervously.

Yunho turned them both in his seat so he could look at the other boy. “Our girl is just saying I shouldn’t assume that you want the same thing. If you want to just be friends, I understand.”

“I don’t know,” Mingi admitted. “You guys were the first friends I found since moving and at first I thought I just was really glad to have new friends, not just here but back home. But…”

“You liked the kisses too,” Yunho filled in. Mingi nodded. “From both of us?” Yunho added, getting another nod from the other boy. “Me too. Even though I didn’t get an actual kiss from our girl. I wouldn’t say no to one if she offered.”

“Smooth,” she joked from his lap, before obliging and pressing a soft chased kiss to his lips. He could feel the smile on her lips as he enjoyed their soft warmth. It was different from his kiss with Mingi but gave him that same warm satisfaction in his stomach. It just felt comfortable...right. 

When they pulled apart they both turned their eyes on Mingi, still seated in the back of the boat. His eyes went wide again when he realized they were looking at him and that he had been staring at them, enjoying the sight of them kissing. He blushed and shrank in a little on himself, not sure what he was supposed to be doing with himself at the moment.

“Mingi,” she said softly. “You can look, it's okay, but you can also come over here, too, if you want.”

“You don’t think I’m weird for watching,” he looked embarrassed, like he felt like he had been caught spying on them.

“Uh-uh,” she shook her head. “You two looked really pretty when you kissed, too. I could have been happy looking at that for a while but...maybe not with everyone else there, too.”

“You were really okay with that?” He looked a little pained as he asked it. “You don’t think it’s gross when two boys...you know?”

“No, not at all,” she sounded surprised at the question and she was, wondering to herself what she had said to make him think she might feel that way.

“My dad always says real men only like women,” he said softly. “‘Boys don’t like other boys, it’s not natural.’”

“Your dad is a dumbass,” she said aloud before she thought about the words coming out of her mouth. Immediately her hand slapped over her mouth as if she could catch the words and put them back in before he could hear them. “Sorry,” she added after a second. Mingi let out a small laugh, some of the tension melting from his shoulders.

“People like who they like,” Yunho shrugged.

“And you like me?” Mingi asked, almost childlike in his insecurity.

“I like you a lot,” Yunho replied with a big grin. “And our girl. I’ve been happier here at camp with you two than I remember being...in a long time.”

“We make you happy?” Mingi’s eyes sparkled at the complement.

“So happy,” Yunho confirmed, taking his hand as Mingi moved to kneel in the bottom of the boat closer to them. He wrapped his arms around both of them and laid his head in their laps. A little sniffle came from her as she looked down at his large head resting on her thighs.

“Awww, precious,” Yunho cooed, brushing a little tear that had escaped her eye. 

“Shut up,” she elbowed him playfully, feeling a little like an idiot for all this getting to her like it had.

“Don’t be sad,” Mingi looked up at her and gave her a sunny smile.

“I’m not sad, don’t worry,” she assured him before leaning into a little kiss with him again. Mingi took one of Yunho’s hands in his, playing with his fingers as he looked at them, his head once again resting on her lap.

“The moon looks really beautiful tonight,” she observed, her head leaning on Yunho’s shoulder as she ran the fingers of one hand through Mingi’s tousled hair.

“Yeah, tonight is just about perfect,” Yunho agreed.

The rest of the week passed too quickly. Even though they spent every free moment together, reading, talking, eating, the time seemed to pass in a flash. On the last day, with everything packed, the trio sat together in the yard, huddled together as she read aloud to them. They lounged side by side on a picnic blanket they had borrowed from the camp under that same large maple as they waited for their parents to arrive and take them home. As she read, Mingi and Yunho made faces at each other, periodically bursting into laughter. They were listening, but they were also just enjoying those last happy moments they would have here.

Thankfully school would start soon and Mingi and Yunho would have each other again. Her school, while not the same, was close. And there were always the weekends, they reminded her when she gave them a melancholic smile as they talked about going back.

“I have a car now,” Yunho pointed out. “I can pick you both up and we can hang out. I’ll tell my mom you are helping us study. And maybe we will actually do that sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” she leaned in and gave him a playful look. Both boys burst into peals of laughter at her implication. “I see how it is.”

“Hey Chipmunk, I think I saw your parents over near the main building,” Chase said drawing near them. “Time to head home. Can I grab that blanket too? Gotta throw it in the last of the laundry before we close down for the year.”

“Yeah sure,” She nodded. They all stood up and Yunho picked up the blanket, giving it a hard shake before passing it to the surfer counselor. They all pulled each other into a big group hug, taking one last moment together before heading to the hustle and bustle of the main building with parents and other campers. 

“Hey Chipmunk, quick question,” Chase said, calling her over for a moment as they all started to walk away.

“What’s up?” She asked, coming over to him as the boys waited a couple of meters away.

“Are you, like dating one of them or something,” he asked quietly, trying not to be heard by the waiting boys.

“Am I dating one of them?” she repeated, slightly evasively. “Nah, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t be able to choose between them.”

She spoke loud enough for both of them to hear, bringing enigmatic smiles to their faces. She bid the counselor goodbye, leaving him with the distinct impression he had missed something.

[minijenn]

8 Favorite Works of the Year

So I wasn’t tagged to do this but I kinda wanted to anyway. Because I did a lot of creating this year and dangit I wanna look back on it fondly, so...

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

To be fair I’m gonna pick four pieces of art and four chapters from my fics, two of each from either Keys or UF to be fair about things. With that said here  we go, in kind of no particular order! Starting with fics: 

Keys to the Kingdom, Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again: So I wrote this chapter kind of at the start of all the Covid/lockdown madness, when I had just started working from home and felt kinda trapped inside my own apartment, with a lingering sense of doom hanging over my head just about every day (something that hasn’t really gone away). As a result, I poured my emotions into this one, a chapter I’d been planning for such a long time, only for it to come out even better than I could have expected! I think this is where Keys really starts to get good (well, this one and the chapter right before it that leads into it). Its the longest chapter of Keys (so far) and it really is just a ton of angst and hurt and comfort and kind of a pretty good character study for both Sora and Kairi if you ask me, and it does pave the way for Keys 2nd arc (which we’re knee deep in the middle of now!). Overall it has a lot of very poignant lines in it, a lot of emotional scenes, and some pretty cute moments of fluff mixed in to leave you feeling good, its a real treat every time I go back to revisit it. 

Universe Falls, Ch. 80, Part 1: Rifts: So this year was kinda sparse on really BIG UF chapters, but Rifts is for sure probably the biggest chapter in UF yet. And I’m so, so proud of it, I think it has some incredible high points of action in it, its very intense and emotional and the situation just keeps building from bad to worse and you really just feel for Steven, and Dipper, and Stepper alike and Bill is such an asshole in it and gah! Its so good I love it so much and I had such a fun time writing it, especially after waiting YEARS to finally get the chance to. I think its fantastic. 

Keys to the Kingdom, Ch. 27: What Once Was Mine: This is absolutely my favorite Disney world chapter in the entire fic so far (tho that second Beauty and the Beast chapter comes REALLY close to it!); it has such a broad range of emotions, starting out really fun and lighthearted and sweet and then it starts spiraling into fear and pain and intensity and finally it bottoms out at sheer despair, culminating in probably one of my favorite Trinity Trio scenes in this entire fic. Its not always easy mixing Keys’ original plot elements with the Disney stuff, but in this chapter it felt so natural to do so, like the Tangled stuff just fit so well. I love how it turned out and it really is another big turning point in the fic’s trajectory if you ask me. 

Universe Falls, Ch. 80, Part 3: Dimensions: So I ALMOST picked Memories for this list (and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it!) but I think Dimensions has it beat by just a hair. Its just so intense and dramatic from start to end, with a huge epic battle against Bill, a real show of just how much Steven and Dipper care for each other, emotional reactions from just about the entire squad, and lasting impacts for the rest of the fic. I think it was a perfect way to conclude a trilogy of chapters I’d been so excited about writing since UF’s earliest days, and I’ll never stop being proud of how it all came together in the end. 

And now we move onto some art!

The RMD Promo art was a fun little pet project I wanted to take on, more for me than for the chapters itself. They’re all pretty symbolic to the tone/events of each chapter, from coloring, to posing, to the flower symbolism (which was so fun to research and implement), plus I can never pass up the opportunity to draw my best boy Stepper! 

My Castle of Dreams Sokai piece really just blew up in popularity here on Tumblr. Again it was just something fun and cute I wanted to do, because I have the moment envisioned so vividly in my mind I figured might as well draw it out and I still think it looks so nice, the way these two are looking at each other with such love in their eyes is.... 100% if ya ask me

The Dimensions cover fucking popped off. The coloring, the dynamic posing, the expressions, I really did kinda flex on this one. Yet for as many moving parts as there are in it, its a very simple piece as well, though I do kinda love the idea of Bill just... looming over everyone coming to kick his ass; it really is accurate to how the chapter itself goes down if ya ask me. 

Ok so I know I literally just fucking posted this thing yesterday but I’m proud of it (also I made a self-imposed rule that  commissions aren’t allowed to be in this, only art I drew of my own volition) and I drew this yesterday mostly for funsies and it... kinda got intense. Anyway, I’m trying to learn how to pose KH characters more dynamically and this was part of that. And I loooooove how creepy it is, its hella cool on that front if ya ask me. 

So yeah, I’m supposed to tag people who wanna do this but ehhhghghghghghg just go ahead and do the damn thing if you feel like it, I mean i wasn’t tagged and here I am so go nuts :3

[sierraraeck]

How to Lose Friends

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: When Aundreya’s presence is requested at the BAU, she doesn’t know what to think, and is dreading the reactions of her previous teammates. Especially that of Doctor Spencer Reid. Story sixteen.

Category: Some angst.

Warnings: Cussing. Normal CM talk. Mentions of prison.

Word Count: 5.0k

A/N: I hit 100k words of fanfic I’ve written for this series in this part.

The buzz of the bell signaling a door opening jolted me awake.

What the fuck? Why is my door being opened?

The light streaming in from the hallway, invading my dark little space, was blinding. The only solace was the dark figure shielding most of the light from my eyes.

“What?” I rasped.

“Aundreya Chambers, lovely to see you again,” the voice was coated with sarcasm. While still somewhat unfamiliar to me, I knew who’s face belonged to that type of bitchy sarcasm.

“Majesty Strauss, welcome to my humble home. Would you like a tour before we begin?” I still barely had my eyes open, denying the fact that my minimal sleep was being desturbed. She moved further into the cell in order to stand right in front of me.

“Get up. Your presence has been requested at the BAU.”

“What? Why do they want me?” I finally opened my eyes enough to stare up at her stone cold bitchface. That was the last thing I was expecting this morning. “Is it so they each take their turn reminding me how much they hate me?”

“Stop whining and get up. They need your help,” she all but rolled her eyes, the sound of her heels clicking back over to my cell door.

“With what?” I insisted.

“I’ll brief you on the drive.” Strauss completely exited my box while I laid my head back against the thin as paper pillow, letting out an irritated sigh. “Are you coming?”

“Do I have a choice?” She gave the tightest lipped, most forced smile I’d seen a human give as one of the officers came to clasp the handcuffs around my wrists.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

The first half of the drive was dull. Strauss wasn’t much for small talk, especially with someone like me, and she refused to let me in on what was happening until we were only a few minutes out from headquarters.

It was Maeve. She’d had a stalker for a while, and now there was reason to believe she’s in immediate danger. That’s all she told me.

We finally arrived at Quantico, and I almost wanted to laugh. It’d been… what? Fifteen months since the last time I’d been there? The feeling of walking back in felt oddly familiar, like the first time I entered the building as a convicted criminal who was meeting the team. Despite the three years I’d spent with them, I was standing there as if nothing had changed. Actually, that’s not true. Things had changed. They’d gotten worse. Now, instead of wondering how they’d react to a somewhat normal looking girl who’d had a rough past, I knew exactly how they’d react to a psycho looking, handcuffed, last-time-I-saw-you-I-confessed-to-murder, criminal. And I didn’t want any part of it.

But if that’s how they were gonna see me, I might as well have worn it with pride. I had a reputation to uphold.

I was pushed through the glass doors into the bullpen, and everyone’s eyes snapped to me. I must’ve been quite the sight: disheveled, frizzy braids, cuts and bruises on every visible part of my body (and most non visible parts, too), my orange jumpsuit peeking through the stained, weak excuse they called sweats, not to mention the chains connecting my handcuffs to the links around my ankles. Upon entering, they removed my cuffs, but kept a watchful eye on me as I approached the door to the briefing room. The people behind there were the ones I really cared about. Or, at least, cared even a shard about in comparison to the utter indifference I felt toward everyone else.

I closed my eyes, and took a long, deep breath before forcing the door open. I had barely entered the room, barely made eye contact with Hotch standing opposite me, before both my shoulder blades were shoved against the wall behind me, long fingers wrapping around my throat.

“What is she doing here?” the hiss in Reid’s voice sounded exactly how I’d imagined it in my head, preparing myself for this encounter. He looked almost as bad as me. His curls were going in a million directions, and I could only imagine the amount of times he’d run his hands through them. His eyes were blood-shot and slightly puffy, and the dark bags underneath seemed more defined. The only thing that contrasted all of that, and let me know his head was still in it, was the darkness in them. There was nothing lighthearted or soft about them anymore, at least, not for the moment and not for me. Not to mention the rage I could see boiling at the surface. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror.

Morgan and Hotch made a move to pull him off of me, but I waved them away. I knew this was coming, and the sooner we got it over with, the sooner we could go back to our new normal. “I was invited.”

“By who?” I could hear the betrayal coating his voice before he even knew who it was.

“You didn’t tell him?” It was Rossi that spoke up.

“I was about to,” Hotch stated, “She showed up a bit earlier than I anticipated.”

Reid just stood there, orbs of fire replacing his eyes. “Let go of me,” I forced out through clenched teeth. He did as I asked, taking a staggering step back and just bore holes into me. I replied with a smirk. “So what do you need me for?”

“As Strauss should have already told you, Maeve is missing and there is reason to believe she’s in danger,” Hotch recited.

“Great. So what do you need me for?” I repeated. They were great profiles, I couldn’t see anything I’d add to the group.

“As you know, there have been people in the past that threatened her safety, and they have been people you’ve had a connection with.”

I arched an eyebrow. “So you think that the person responsible for Maeve’s disappearance is some street rat I’d know?”

“If you want to put it that way, sure,” Hotch confirmed.

“Okay, then you guys have seriously lost brain cells since I left,” I let out a bitter laugh, “There’s no way some rando on the street would care about some lame doctor.” I saw Reid’s posture tighten up, and I didn’t really fancy the idea of being slammed into the wall again, so I shot him a quick, “No offense.”

“What makes you so sure?” Morgan asked.

“Look, all I’m saying, is that I don’t see how she’d hold any value to anyone on the streets. Unless she’s all the sudden a drug lord, running a gang, or saw too much, they wouldn’t care about her. And let’s say for fun she is one of those things, and someone on the streets did take her, she’s already dead,” I pointed out. Reid flinched. “People on the streets don’t play with their food.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Reid hissed.

I shrugged. “I’m just saying. But either way, case closed or start over. Neither of which require me.”

“They might, actually,” Hotch said.

“What now?” I grumbled.

“We might still want to utilize your other skills.”

“And what are those, exactly? You can all profile just fine without me,” I scoffed. “Clearly, you’ve been doing just fine these past 15 months. Speaking of, where is my replacement?”

Looking around the room, I didn’t see Doctor Lewis.

“She’s gone for this one, so we could use another person,” Hotch acknowledged.

“Cool. So find another person.”

“Aundreya, we could use your ability to track down people. We can profile all we want, and have Garcia send us all the information she can dig up, but we need someone who can actually locate them. Someone who knows how to find people without a record or paper trail, who don’t want to be found. And based on the other working profile we have, that’s exactly the type of person we’d be tracking down.”

I let out an annoyed sigh and rolled my eyes. There was no way I was getting out of this, so I forced out, “Fine. Let’s find Reid’s girlfriend.”

The whole room of people, myself included, starting moving with a purpose toward something to do. Everyone except for Doctor Reid. He was just standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, staring at me.

I tried so hard to ignore him, and I was about to say something when Morgan beat me to it, placing a hand on his shoulder and murmuring, “Kid, what’s going on?”

His answer was not directed at Morgan. “Nothing else? That’s it, that’s all you have to say?”

I looked up at him and even I could feel the boredom in my eyes. “What else is there to say?”

After a few deafening moments, he sternly whispered, “Was any of it real?”

I could tell by his face the deeper questions behind it. Did you ever actually care about me? Were you just manipulating and using me the whole time? Was the possibility of ‘us’ just an illusion?

“I could ask you the same question,” I snapped. It suddenly felt like he and I were the only ones in the room, like we were moving across a silver screen while the rest of the team watched from their theatre seats.

“I still wanna know why.”

“Why what? There’s a lot I’ve done, you’re gonna have to be more specific,” I deadpanned.

“All of it. Prison, letting me take the fall, Darrell-”

I stopped him right there. “Inmates kill each other all the time. It was a means of survival. I had to, I couldn’t let you die, and I couldn’t let you be the killer either, now could I? You’re not the damaged one-”

It was his turn to cut me off, and I was surprised by his words, “You're not damaged.”

“What makes you so sure?” I was quick to refute, “Only one of us should have to carry that burden around. And like you said, what’s another name to add to my list?”

“Is that what you were carrying around with you all the time?” Prentiss’s question seemed so genuine, I just answered.

“Yes, that and…” then I realized what she’d just admitted to.

“And what?” she probed.

“Wait, were you guys watching me?” I accused. The silence that followed, along with ‘oh shit’ glances were all I needed. “You were, weren't you! That whole time you just watched? And did nothing to help me!”

“What were we supposed to do?” Morgan joined in.

“Something, anything!” I looked back over to Reid, his hands in his pockets and his eyes still burning up. “Do you even want me on this case?” I was looking for any and every excuse to get out of this room, and away from these people.

“You are a big help,” Hotch intervened.

“I didn’t ask you,” I shot Hotch a glance out of the corner of my eye, then directed my attention back at Reid, enunciating each word carefully, “Do you want me on this case?”

“Why would you ask that?” he dodged.

“Because last time I checked, I was supposed to be staying out of Maeve’s life,” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“You are, but these are extenuating circumstances,” he returned my look.

“So you do want my help,” I clarified.

“I want your skills.”

I let out a disgusted chuckle, venom dripping from my words. “Oh I get it. You only want me around when it's convenient for you. Otherwise you just wanna give up on me and let me rot in there.”

Reid broke eye contact with me. “All the evidence pointed to you.”

His words sent a shiver up my spine, as the neurons in my brain started firing at rapid speed. I’d heard those words before; rather, I’d seen those words before, and I couldn’t resist reciting what followed. “But the one thing you can’t stop thinking about is what Hotch said the night we got caught?”

His eyes immediately snapped back to mine, looking astonished. “What?”

I set my jaw, and continued, “That you were manipulating me the whole time and I’d fallen into the trap of a professional criminal, even as a profiler. I don’t want to believe that, but maybe it’s true.”

Derek jumped in, “What are you talking about?”

I ignored him. “Maybe you’re the one who’s been using me this whole time. I don’t have the answers, and I don’t think I ever will. Don’t keep tabs on me. I know you have the means to, in whatever capacity, but I don’t want you tracking my life.”

“Stop, Aundreya, please,” he pleaded. If you didn’t want those words getting out, didn’t want your team to realize how vile you could be, you should have thought about that before sending me that letter.

I wasn’t gonna stop. Instead, I started pulling the paper out of my pocket. “I no longer want you to be a part of it. And stay out of Maeve’s, in case you think that’s some twisted loophole you can use. This is no longer your family.” By the end, I felt just a little moisture coming to the surface, but I choked my tears back down.

“What is she talking about?” Morgan insisted.

Reid’s mouth was slightly open, struggling to find the right words to explain this. I wasn’t going to give him the chance. I tossed his letter, folded up to fit in my pocket, on the table. It slid across and stopped right in the middle. “His letter. The piece of paper you saw me walking around with, this is it. My list on one side, his letter on the other.”

“Aundreya-” Reid attempted.

“You didn’t even sign your name,” I shook my head, “You couldn’t even sign your fucking name. It’s pathetic. And just so you know, the evidence pointed toward me because I helped it to.”

“So you did or didn’t want to go to prison?” he asked me.

“Of course I didn’t want to go, Reid,” I answered like it was the dumbest question I’d ever heard.

“Then why'd you take the fall for me?”

“Because you didn’t do it.”

“But neither did you, right?”

It sounded like more of a mockery than a question, but I answered, “Right.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Jesus Spence! I did it because I-” Oh shit.

All eyes were on me as he slowly asked, “You what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.” With that, I stormed out of the room using the back door, and made my way up to the rooftop.

The cool breeze hit me in an instant, and I relished in the fresh air. It’s crazy how easily I took that for granted the three years I was out. I leaned up against the railing as I soaked in this feeling. I wouldn’t get to keep it for long.

I heard the door creak open, and knew who it was before she could even say anything.

“You know, I understand why he’s mad. He thinks I let him sit in prison for something I did, you all do,” I quickly tacked on.

“That’s not true,” Emily’s voice could be so soft sometimes.

“It’s okay, I get why you all believe it. I would have too if I were you. I mean, my whole life has consisted of lying, manipulating, and cheating.” I looked over at her once she’d joined me at the railing. Her face was kind, as if she was inviting me to continue. “I hate everything about it.”

“Is that why your name is on the bottom of that list?”

I hadn’t even thought about them seeing that. Fuck me. “Did you know that Aundreya isn’t even my real name?” I offered instead.

“Alionth?” she guessed.

I gave a single laugh. “No. I was born Clara Spade. I was her all the way up until the Slaughterer saw me. When we went into WITSEC, my name was changed to Cassy Sae. I lived as her until our house burnt down, and I begged Gideon to help me disappear. Cassy Sae died that day with her mom and sister, and I changed my name again to Aundreya Chambers. It was Aundreya who hit the streets and joined a gang. It was Aundreya who was The Figure and moved up the ranks until she ran the joint. When the gang collapsed and I started the ring, I don’t know, I guess I just wanted a new name. A new name had marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life up until that point, why not keep the tradition, you know?” Emily nodded along to my words. “I chose Alionth because I’d already been using that as my stage name at clubs, and a lot of the people I recruited I met at clubs. I actually ran my whole operation out of one, so the name just naturally fell into place. Then I made just about the biggest mistake of my life, which landed me in prison. In prison, most people were street rats, so those who did know me, knew me as Aundreya, so I went back to being her.”

“And who are you now?” she asked me.

I sighed. “I… I have no idea. I’ve been Aundreya for the majority of my life, but I just don’t know if she’s good enough anymore.”

“It’s not about the name. I know you think it does, but the name has nothing to do with who you are.”

“I don’t know, it sure feels like that.”

“It’s not true. Falling into that trap is unwise, it’ll hurt you more than it already has,” her eyes were wide, and I could tell she was trying to read me.

“So you think I’m stupid?” I asked.

“No, the exact opposite actually. I think you are so smart and are looking so many steps ahead, that you can no longer see what’s right in front of you.”

“And what’s that?”

“That you’re afraid.” I scoffed at her, but she was completely serious.

“I am not,” I insisted.

“You are. You’ve been hurt so many times, betrayed even, and now you won’t allow anyone in.” She sounded like she was speaking from experience. The silence hung between us before she said what I’d been waiting on the whole time. “Just tell him.”

“What?” I tried to play it off.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Emily said, in that stern but caring tone she’d mastered. We both knew I knew what she was talking about, and I’d been too hopeful she’d ignore my near-confession only minutes earlier.

“I can’t,” I said, my voice dropping.

“Why not? I think he deserves to know that you lov-”

“Don’t say that,” I cut her off like my life depended on it, “Emily, I’m telling you, I can’t. I can’t do that to him,” my eyes were wide with pleading, and I’m sure I looked like a wild animal in headlights.

“Give me a good reason why.”

You say that as if I haven’t already compiled a list in my head of all the reasons we wouldn’t work over the past three years.

But I opted only for the biggest reason, the one at the very top of my list. “Because I’m terrified that it will kill us both.”

“Huh?”

“Look at us. We’re a disaster! I mean, hell knows, we’ve both already almost died for the other. I don’t want to take the chance that next time we won’t be so lucky,” I explained. And if we aren’t, at least one of us should be able to get out and that person is not me. I could tell there was something else lingering on Emily’s face, but I filled the airspace before she could. “No, I need him to hate me. It’ll be easier this way, because when this goes south, and it will go south, it makes it that much easier for him to just forget about me and move on, move on with Maeve, his great girlfriend who can actually be there for him in a way I haven’t been able to, in a way I don’t even think I’m capable of.”

“I would call going to prison for him ‘being there’ for him, even to an extreme, and I think you should let him make his own choice about how he feels about you,” she gave me a pointed look, “knowing all the facts.”

I shook my head. She just wasn’t getting this. “It’s better this way, trust me, I’ve seen it before, been there before, too many times. It’s better if he already hates me going into this. It would be unfair of me to lay that on him, knowing what I’m going to have to do.”

“And what is that?” I stared at her, open-mouthed, and once she realized I wasn’t going to answer her, she asked, “This is about more than just Maeve, isn’t it?”

Yes. There are people who are hunting me down, and I’m scared shitless that you, and Spencer, and the rest of the team will get caught in the crossfire, and yet again, it will be my fault that practically the only people on this planet I care about, who’ve actually cared about me at some point, will be dead. I wanted so badly to tell her, to get everything off my chest, but I just couldn’t. The less she, and the team, knew, the better.

“Is this about those other two names on the list?”

“You saw that, huh?”

“Yeah. Is that what this is also about? The whole ‘end of the world, protecting Reid’ vibe you have going on?”

I didn’t know how to answer, so again, I just stood there silently.

“It sounds to me like you’re giving up, expecting to die,” Emily filled in the silence.

“I am definitely expecting to die, and I’m expecting it to be nasty, and hateful, and to completely ruin me, yes. But like hell I’m giving up.” I wanted to make that perfectly clear.

“Good. So while I don’t know what else is going on, and you clearly aren’t open to telling me, I do know that Maeve needs our help. Yours specifically. And I can’t imagine how much this sucks for you, but-”

“I know,” I said, nodding, “We have a case.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

While Emily and I were out, the rest of the team had gone back to trying to put pieces together. The moment I walked in the door was the same moment Reid left. JJ walked out after him, but not before giving Emily a knowing look. It’s like they were tag teaming us or something. I tried to blow it off.

“Get anything?” I huffed.

“Maybe…” Derek trailed off.

“What does that mean?”

“We have a list of people we want you to look over,” Rossi said, handing over his tablet.

“Damn, already?” I questioned.

“Have you already forgotten how quickly I work?” Penelope looked over at me with an amused face.

“Well, time hasn’t exactly been my friend as of late so I might be a little rusty, but no, my liege, you just never cease to amaze me.” And with that, I felt some of the tension release from the room. Not much, but I’d take it. I think everyone would take it.

We worked well into the night, looking over people and sending pairs of agents out to question the promising ones, and as I expected, every single one was a dead end.

Until one of them wasn’t.

The boys had just got back from interviewing Robert Putnam’s, Maeve’s fiance, parents.

“He look good for this?” I asked as soon as Hotch stormed into the room, Rossi and Morgan right on his heels. Reid hung back, like we were repelling ends of a magnet.

“I want you on him.” Hotch had barely gotten the command out before I reached for the door handle.

“I don’t.” The words were hot and dry and coming from none other than Doctor Reid.

I stopped to face him. “Why not?”

“I don’t trust you. Who’s to say you won’t just run off? Then we’d let a high-profile criminal walk free and let Maeve…” he cut himself off, and I saw him swallow, probably choking down the tears with it.

“Reid,” Hotch barely drew his attention away from me.

“It’s okay,” I assured Hotch, “I get that you don’t trust me. None of you do. But I need you to make up your mind. Either you want me helping or you don’t.” When I got no more than a few blinks, I continued, “Look, you don’t have to trust me, okay? All you have to trust is my skills. Like you said, I’m a professional at things like this, so I can handle tracking one simple weasel. Not to mention, that if I didn’t want to be here, or I wanted to’ve escaped, I would have done it already. And if you’re worrying about my capacity to actually treat this case with some care, don’t. I already blindly tried to get myself shot for her before I even knew who she was, remember? So if you don’t wanna trust me, great. Don’t. I’m fine with that. But trust my abilities and what I know, what you know, I can do.”

I stared at him so long, that I wondered if small roots started pushing their way into the ground below me.

“Okay. Go,” was all I got, but it was all I needed.

I gave him a single nod, and headed for the door.

I got just a few feet out when Hotch’s voice caught me, “Chambers.”

I spun around to face him. Once he pulled the door shut, I asked, “What’s up?”

“He’ll come around.”

I snorted, “You’re funny, Aaron,” I spoke through laughs, “Got any other good jokes before I head out?”

“I’m serious.” I don’t know what it was in his tone, but it snapped me completely out of it.

“He won’t. I fucked up, real bad, and I broke a promise to him,” I lowered my voice so I was whisper-yelling the next part, “Hell! I killed a man in front of him!”

“We all have,” he nonchalantly stated. The disconnect I was feeling had to have been obvious, and he proceeded, “We shoot people in front of him all the time. We do it to save other people, we’ve even done it to save him a few times. How is it any different?”

My eyes went wide, and I couldn’t believe it was Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner who was saying these things to me right now. “No you don’t understand. I promised people, I promised myself, that that wasn’t who I was anymore. But that's exactly who I am. I said that I wouldn’t do things like that again, and then I did, breaking my promise and proving that I’m exactly the same as I was all those years ago. Someone you, and he, can’t trust.”

“We both know that’s not true.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he just kept going without me, “The way he reacted to you getting arrested that night is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. He looked disgusted with me, after I aided you in your plan to get him out. He said to me, ‘You can’t do this, Hotch, you can’t let this happen!’ He was so hostile that he cussed at me and tried to hit me,” I audibly gasped at this information. I could never see Reid acting like that, but I would know just how much prison changes a person. “Morgan had to restrain him before all the work you’d just done to get him out of prison went to waste on something as stupid as him acting out.”

I didn’t know what to say, “Hotch, I…”

“I knew what you were doing, so while Morgan tried to get him to calm down, I told him that you were giving him an out. We knew that there was a very high likelihood that he was going to die in there, but we knew that you wouldn’t.” He offered a small chuckle then, which totally threw me for a loop.

“What is it, what’s funny?”

“Spencer said that we couldn’t know that, and it was Morgan who said, and I believe he used these exact words, ‘She’s strong. Plus, they’ll want her in solitary, worried that she’ll do much more damage to others than they’ll do to her.’”

Even I had to crack a smile at that. “He’s not wrong.”

“He definitely was not. I think he was still recovering from that nasty black eye you gave him.”

I offered a not-so-regretful grimace.

“One more thing,” I looked up at him as he spoke, his tone returning to that of seriousness. “It doesn’t have to be right now, or within the next couple of months even, but he deserves to know the truth.”

I don’t even know why I tried, but it was my natural reaction to deflect. “What are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t take a profiler to know that memorizing and reciting the only piece of contact you’ve had with him verbatim shows how much you care about him and what he thinks of you. And based on the sole fact that you don’t really seem to care at all what anyone thinks of you, that speaks volumes.”

I stood there blinking at him for a moment or two before having my wits come back to me. I started to shake my head, but he continued to speak.

“Do you really want to prove that you’re not like that anymore, that you’ve changed?”

He always seemed to know the right questions. I nodded my head, “Yes.”

The great Aaron Hotchner looked me straight in the eyes, “Then go catch this killer.”

Series Taglist (open)

@justanothetfangirl

@kris-stuff

@blameitonthenight21

@wooya1224

@unded-bride

[baepop]

PRIVATE // 7

You have two bombs dropped on you in one day.

Word Count: 5.1k

Pairing: Jungkook x You x Jennie

Genre: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Sorry I took so long to get this out! More to come!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

You frowned at the view in front of you. Taking your index finger, you gently adjusted the frame, but it continued to mock you as it tilted back into its crooked position every time. You sighed and put your hands on your hips. You had been at this for a solid half hour without feeling satisfied, so when an incoming phone call came through, it was a very welcome distraction. Seeing the name on your screen, you smiled as you picked it up and held it to your ear.

“Congratulations…” You heard his soft chuckle on the other end which had you mimicking it with your own.

“Same to you…I didn’t see you at the ceremony, but I figured it was like you to blow it off.”

“You know me well, I guess. Did you get yours in the mail?”

“Yeah I’m actually holding it right now. It feels so surreal. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already…’

You smiled down towards your feet as you began pacing back and forth in your small living room, reminiscing on your scholastic career by Yoongi’s side. “Yeah it’s crazy…”

There was an awkward pause that thankfully didn’t last too long, seeing as both of you wanted to hear from the other for a while now.

The boy cleared his throat before speaking again, “So I was wondering, if you might want to grab some breakfast or something. It’s the least you could do to pay homage to your college career.”

You rolled your eyes but readily agreed to meet at a diner downtown despite having work later on. Many of your other classmates had moved home right after graduation, so the shuttle ride into town was desolate. You put your headphones on and turned your lo-fi playlist all the way up as you stared out of the window. Summer was in full swing and yet you still found yourself indoors all of the time and not doing the things you liked doing when it got hot like going on a hike or riding your bike to the park. Since taking your last final, all your life consisted of was going to work at the suit shop and binging Netflix originals. You refused to think about why that was.

As you entered the semi-empty establishment, you realized you were the first to arrive, so you secured a booth for your rendezvous and ordered some orange juice. You were mid gulp when you heard the chime of the door ring. Yoongi spotted you by the windows and walked briskly towards you with a big gummy smile on his face. You couldn’t help cheesing back at him. You hadn’t realized how much you missed your friend.

“Man, I’m starving.” He began perusing the menu after sitting down as you did the same. Your stomach rumbled loudly before you got the chance to agree, making you both laugh.

Once the waitress left with your menus and your orders, you looked towards Yoongi who was giving you that look you were afraid he might give you once the pleasantries were over. You didn’t want to talk about them.

“So…”

“Let me stop you right there.”

Yoongi smiled, “So we’re just going to pretend—”

“YEP.” You took another sip of your juice, and then another as Yoongi struggled to hold back snickering. He focused on his fingernails instead but found it nearly impossible to concede to your only request.

“So, there’s a date—”

“YOONGI!” The boy laughed, looking to your eyes to see how serious you were.

“I’m sorry but, are you really sure you don’t want to know anything? Like, not a single thing? I have juicy details you know…”

It was unlike Yoongi to gossip, so his attempt at lightening the serious subject had you cracking a smile despite getting riled up at the mere mention of them. You looked up at him wiggling his eyebrows and bit back a laugh. Instead, you rolled your eyes and sighed dramatically, lacing your fingers atop the table.

“What juicy details could you possibly have?”

“Well,” Yoongi took a sip of his water for dramatic effect, “Jungkook’s family may or may not have found out that he has a girlfriend.” Your eyes snapped up towards the blonde, the shock clearly readable on your face.

“And,” Yoongi took another sip of his water, “they may or may not know that his girlfriend was the weird girl at the proposal dinner.”

You gasped aloud, “Shut the fuck up!”

“Oh, I will not! You really caused a shit show Y/N.” Yoongi shook his head, clearly finding all of this hilarious but you couldn’t find the humor in it one bit. Just then, your pancakes arrived but they were the last thing on your mind. Yoongi forked his five-stack as you bombarded him with questions.

“How did they find out!?”

He spoke with cheeks full of syrupy starch, “Jungoo tol them,” he swallowed before forking another piece of pancake, “he tried to call off the wedding after that, but you can imagine how that went.”

You sliced your pancakes into tiny pieces as you took in the information. Jungkook tried to call off the wedding? You hated how happy it made you to hear that.

“I’m assuming you haven’t heard from Jennie?”

You looked up at him and put your utensils down. “Not since the dinner. Maybe this wedding isn’t weighing as heavy on her as she’s making it out to be. She probably loves him now.” You stabbed your breakfast aggressively.

Yoongi snorted, “My ass. We all hung out two weeks ago and they almost killed each other playing Monopoly.”

You began to wonder what they might be up to these days with everything going on. The morning after the engagement event, you woke up alone. You hadn’t seen or heard from either of them since then, which was truthfully what you needed in order to sort your convoluted thoughts and figure out how you really felt. After checking your watch, you cursed aloud and pulled some cash out of your wallet.

“I lost track of time! I gotta get to work but when can I see you again?”

Yoongi dumped the rest of your food onto his plate. “Well, I still have my apartment for another week, I was thinking of throwing one last rager tonight before I gotta hand the keys in. You should come.” You nodded thoughtfully, contemplating the idea of possibly running into the love birds tonight. “I doubt they’ll show up honestly, they’re super busy these days.” As always, Yoongi knew exactly what was on your mind.

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

“That’s my girl!” Yoongi spoked with a mouth full of food which had you giggling all the way out of the door.

You sped walked seven blocks before reaching the entrance of your job. You were a few minutes late which was already stressing you out since your boss was not easygoing about punctuality.

“Y/N! You’re late!” Raphael regarded you in a disapproving stare as his bifocals slipped down the bridge of his nose. You hurried to remove your bag and put on a blazer.

“I know! I’m sorry, I lost track of time.”

“You have a client waiting. They’ve been here for a few minutes already, so be apologetic when you greet them, okay? They asked specifically for you, by the way.” Your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t have any appointments set for today with any of your regulars. As you peered past the curtains that led to the fitting area, you recognized a tall lanky woman to be Jungkook’s mother and surely enough, her son sat perched on the bench near the mirrors. You gulped as they both made eye contact with you. His mother crossed her arms as you let yourself into the back area, your eyes unable to leave Jungkook’s starry-eyed stare.

“Well it’s about time you show up.” Your scalp prickled with embarrassment at her tone.

“Mom—” Jungkook tried to admonish his mother but you quickly cut in.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting! What can I help you with today?”

The woman eyed you before gesturing towards Jungkook. “We’re here to get him fitted for a tux. Since you did so well with his last suit, we figured you were just the person for the job. It’s for the wedding, of course.” You nodded solemnly, peering briefly at Jungkook who looked uncomfortable. You noticed he was wearing the suit in question, and he looked amazing in it.

“O-Of course, what kind of suiting were you thinking? We have morning dress fits, tailcoats and classic three-piece suits.”

“Show me your best three-piece suit in black.” You immediately got to work getting all of the components in Jungkook’s sizes together as she watched you like a hawk. You couldn’t believe this was happening, but you didn’t have time to register it all, not if you were going to get them out of the shop as quickly as possible.

As you busied yourself hanging the pieces on various hangers, you heard Jungkook speak softly to his mother who refused to take her eyes off of you.

“Mom, can you give us a minute? Please?” She sighed heavily and gave him a pointed look but let herself out of the dressing area, nonetheless. Once she was out of sight, you both let out the breaths you had been holding in.

Your fingers trembled over the hangers as a heavy silence lingered with her departure. “Jeeze, she’s kind of intense, isn’t she?” Your lighthearted remark died out in volume as Jungkook placed his hand over yours. You jumped at the contact, not having noticed him moving closer to you. You looked up at him, unsure of what his intensions were. “Jungkook…”

“I’m…sorry about her. But you don’t have to do this. It’s so fucked up. Just say the word and we’ll go.” You focused on your task at hand with a hard line pressed into your mouth.

“If you knew it was fucked up, then why did you agree to come?”

“Because I’ve been dying to see you, and this seemed the only way that could happen. They haven’t let me out of their sight since I told them you were my girlfriend.” Jungkook chuckled bitterly, leaning on the wall and looking up at the ceiling. “I guess I’m selfish that way.”

You looked at him before looking back down at the suit pieces that were all ready for him to try on. “Take your clothes off, Jeon.”

He slowly removed his jacket then began unbuttoning his shirt. When you didn’t offer anything more, he continued on, “Do you at least miss me the way I miss you? I’m in hell over here.” His voice slightly broke towards the end of his sentence.

You avoided his gaze as you passed him a crisp white dress shirt to put on. “No. I broke up with you, remember?”

“C’mon Y/N, we both know you didn’t mean that.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Wanna bet?”

“Yeah, actually. I’m willing to bet on it.” Jungkook stepped up to you but you refused to crack under his intimidation. He was now close enough for you to smell that cologne you loved so much. You gulped as your eyes traveled upwards. “You feel the same way I do, I know you do. And I know you’re going just as crazy over this whole ordeal as I am.”

You cleared your throat and backed up a few inches, taking a clearing breath as you handed him a pair of trousers. He sighed and took them, stepping onto the platform. His eyes quickly found yours in the mirror. “You can act tough like you always do in front of me, but…I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry about all of it. I really am.” You bit the inside of your cheek while he talked, trying to focus on not tearing up. “I just want you to know that I’m hurting too, even if it doesn’t seem like it, and that things don’t have to be this way forever. And I’m not going to stop pursuing you until you forgive me for not telling you first.”

You stepped onto the platform just as Jungkook held his arms up to give you better access to his waist. While cinching the waistband of his pants on each side with a pin, you couldn’t help getting caught off guard by his ending words. “What do you mean by things don’t have to be this way forever?” You helped him into his vest and then the jacket as he fell silent in thought.

When he was all dressed, Jungkook turned towards you, finally responding, “You’ve told me over and over again that you don’t care much for titles and that you prefer things be casual anyway…so why is it such a huge deal that I’m someone’s fiancé? If we can get passed the fact that I fucked up and kept something important like this from you, promising that it won’t happen again, do things between us really have to end?” You scoffed in returned, but ultimately didn’t know what to say. Did he actually have a point here? Since his marriage was clearly only for appearances, and you were absolutely sure Jennie didn’t want him in any way, could you really see past something like this? Would you be a hypocrite if you chose to draw the line here?

You both stood on the platform looking down while inches apart. When you finally looked up, you noticed he was blushing which caught you off guard seeing, how your mind was swarming with unanswerable questions. You stopped breathing the instant he placed his finger on your cheek and softly caressed it. He took a deep breath and held you by the waist with his other hand,  speaking softly while leaning his forehead onto yours, “Y/N… did you honestly think I’d give up on the woman I love because my family is telling me to?”

You opened your mouth but the right words to say escaped you. No one had ever told you they loved you before. You weren’t sure whether to cry or laugh or kiss him. Thankfully, you didn’t have to choose because Jungkook’s mother had back and cleared her throat loudly at the sight of you two embracing. Jungkook let you go so you could turn around to compose yourself.

She looked less than pleased, but nonetheless agreed to take the suit, though you suspected it was only to get him away from you as soon as possible. You hurried to mark down the adjustments that needed to be made to the clothing as Jungkook begrudgingly got redressed. When you were positioned back behind the counter, you barely got to wave goodbye as she stomped out of the door with him hurrying to catch up. He stopped to cast a worried stare past his shoulder at you before disappearing past the windows

Yoongi’s party was in full swing, and you didn’t have to be inside of his house to know that. The second you began walking on his block, the raging music and shouts from drunken party stragglers constantly broke the silence in the empty neighborhood. As you approached his place, you could see a group of people laying on his front lawn having deep conversations about nothing at all.

It was only 10 at night yet there were already enough plastered idiots to potentially have the party shut down early. You smiled and shook your head, wondering how wasted Yoongi must already be to have let his party get this out of hand. After weaving through the crowd of alumni near the door, you let yourself into the house only to be greeted by a ton of drunk people shouting at your arrival. You winced and cheered along with them in confusion before making eye contact with Yoongi who was already beckoning you over to join him and his group of friends.

You noticed how badly he was slurring his words once you got to him. “They’re cheering for every new person that arrives.” He smiled sleepily at you. His cheeks were flushed, and his smile was even gummier than usual. You giggled and nodded in understanding, “Okay, I’m going to need whatever you’re all drinking, stat.”

“It’s the jungle juice! I don’t know what they put in it, but one cup is alllllll you need.” Yoongi hiccupped before continuing. “I’m ssho glad you made it, Y/N. We graduated! We did it!” He shook your shoulders and you couldn’t help but laugh as you tried to remember the last time you witnessed this loose version of your friend.

“Okay, I’m going to go play catchup and then I’ll be back to reminisce on the good ol’ times with you.” You patted his shoulder then set for the kitchen. There were so many people crammed into his living room that the trip to the kitchen took longer than expected. After dancing your way through, you reached the purple tub of liquid everyone was drinking from unscathed and decided to celebrate by helping yourself.

As you sipped from your red solo cup and watched the crowd of people having a good time, you felt a little jealous. You wanted to come out and let loose and feel as stress free as they felt but you were so tightly wound with all the stresses in your life. You didn’t want to think about all of that though, at least for tonight. You wanted to stop worrying and pitying yourself, even for just a moment.

You took a steadying breath, readying yourself to join Yoongi’s friends and put on your best social persona. However, as soon as you made it out of the kitchen entryway, a hand closed around your wrist and pulled you to the side. You hadn’t gotten a chance to see who it was until you made it into the tiny clearing at the corner of the living room safe from the packed crowd. When you looked forward, Jungkook was biting his lip in a smile. Your eyes lit up involuntarily.

“Hey you.”

“Hey.” You smiled into your cup, blushing as you took a tiny sip. You weren’t exactly surprised to see him here, but you were surprised at how happy it made you.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, to be honest.”

“Yoongi’s my friend too, you know.”

“I know, but you’ve been holed up in your apartment lately. Does this mean you’re, maybe, ready to forgive me?” Jungkook adorably poked your cheek and although your expression had been guarded, a smile tugging at your lips gave your true feelings away.

You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that.”

Jungkook didn’t bother feigning sadness, not while your fingers lingered on his hand unwilling to break away from the contact he initiated. Your hands lasted intertwined for a while, both of you swinging your arms back and forth as you surveyed the party that was quickly getting out of hand. When some loud frat boys threatened to knock you over while thrashing around to a song, Jungkook pulled you toward his chest and wrapped his arms around you, shielding you as one of the guys’ drink spilled all over his denim jacket.

Jungkook remained calm, though you could tell by now that the furrow in his eyebrow said otherwise.

“What the hell, asshole?!” You shoved the drunk guy who was none the wiser about what was going on behind him. When he turned around and saw a giant purple stain on the side of Jungkook’s jacket, he immediately apologized and looked at his now empty cup.

“You gonna pay for that!?” You wanted to keep yelling at him but Jungkook stood in between you effectively blocking your view for the time being. He chuckled, watching you get so worked up over him. He found it endearing to say the least.

“Chill, it’s okay. Mistakes happen.”

You sighed and inspected the stain on his arm. “Come on, we gotta wash that out before it stains.” You grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen where you grabbed the dish detergent then shoved him into the tiny half bathroom tucked away in the back of the house.

Once you closed the door behind you, Jungkook took his jacket off and handed it to you. He sat on the toilet and propped a foot up so he could rest his chin on his knee and watch you scrub the living hell out of his jacket. He smiled when you tsked, the stain proving to be quite stubborn. What the was in that jungle juice!? You ran the sleeve under warm water then rung it out and held it up to inspect it further.

“I meant what I said earlier.” Jungkook watched you steadily, gauging your reaction. He was pleased to witness the blush growing across your face despite you trying hard to keep your cool.

“And so did I when I said I couldn’t do this with you anymore.” This time it was Jungkook’s turn to roll his eyes.

“So you’re telling me that you were okay with not making things official between us, but now that I’m going to be signing some silly license, all of a sudden you’re my scorned ex-girlfriend?”

You scoffed at the purplish liquid draining in the sink. “You know, for someone who finds titles so important, you’re making marriage seem like it’s inconsequential. That’s the real silly thing here.

“This marriage is inconsequential. That’s the whole point, and especially so when it comes to you and me.”

You sighed and turned to him with a frown on your face. “So why are you doing it then, if it doesn’t matter?”

“I told you, because my parents—”

“No, Jungkook, your parents aren’t the ones getting married in a month’s time. YOU are. So why are YOU doing this?” The boy fell silent, unwilling to meet your eyes. You took that as your queue to go, but when you reached for the door, he held it shut.

“Jungkook…” The brunette stood up and leaned against the door.

“Don’t go…please.” His voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes held a sadness in them that you’d never seen from him before. You fought the urge to close the distance in between you and hug him, but when he approached you himself, you didn’t stop yourself from putting your arms around him.

You held each other for a while. His arms tightened around your waist as he buried his nose in your hair. Your heart beat quickened as you closed your eyes to experience every bit of this moment. You hadn’t been able to hold him in what felt like forever, and you never wanted to let go.

Jungkook nuzzled against the side of your face. The warmth you felt in his embrace was comforting, and the allure of his lips only a few centimeters away was ever so tantalizing. All it would take for you to kiss him was to shift your head just a bit, yet you felt paralyzed where you stood. It would be all too easy to disregard everything you knew up until this point and pretend you were both still a couple of students fooling around on campus.

But hadn’t you wanted to let go tonight and let loose? To not worry and think too much as you had been doing for months?

Your breath grew shallow as his lips crept closer to yours. You licked yours absentmindedly as they awaited to feel him. It felt as if an eternity had passed, waiting for him to kiss you, and when he finally had, your cold and lonely world was set ablaze again. He pressed a soft kiss into your mouth, testing the waters. The answering reciprocation took both of your breaths away as you kissed him back ravenously. Your fingers tangled themselves in his locks as they had done dozens of times before.

Jungkook held onto the sink for support as you crashed your body into his. He mirrored the neediness you expressed with each movement, moaning into the kiss when you bit his bottom lip. In one swift motion, Jungkook bent down and picked you up by the thighs, placing you on the bathroom sink then reattaching his lips to yours. He gripped the edge of the surface as your body writhed against his. No matter how much you kissed, you didn’t feel satisfied. His lips were sweet and addictive, but you knew you’d have to kick your craving for him eventually. A tear rolled down your check as you stuck your tongue into his mouth. You carefully wiped it away without bringing attention to it. You were doing what you set out to do tonight in hopes that it was a good thing, but you couldn’t help feeling like you were betraying yourself.

Jungkook began trailing kisses across your cheek and down your neck. You sighed in content, leaning back to give him more access. Just as you began removing your jacket to expose your bare shoulder, loud banging on the door interrupted your moment of passion. Both of your heads turned towards the door where the doorknob began jiggling. Jungkook turned back to you and smiled. “Just like old times, huh?” You giggled breathlessly then hopped down from the sink with his help. Grabbing his damp jacket, you both exited the bathroom hand in hand, not caring about what that might look like to anyone else.

Once you reached the living room again, you spoke into Jungkook’s ear due to the loud music blaring making it difficult to speak out loud. “Let’s find Yoongi, I promised I’d hang out with him.”

Jungkook nodded and hung his jacket to dry in his friend’s room before meeting back up with you. He found you and Yoongi by the beer pong table. The blonde boy had gotten rowdy during his winning streak and challenged you to a game which you quickly agreed to. The next few hours went by in a flash as the three of you hung out casually for the first time ever. You found their banter absolutely hilarious, though you suspected the jungle juice and the beer might have something to do with that. Though you knew you couldn’t pretend like the things that were hurting you never existed, it was a relief to not harp on them even if just for a little while.

Once 1:00 came, you bid farewell to the boys. They protested your departure, but when you insisted on leaving since you had work in the morning, Jungkook refused to stay in favor of walking you home. The crowd of partygoers had now spread up and down the block, but once you cleared a few blocks, the cool silent night had made its return. You both walked hand in hand the entire way, taking your time with slow steps and even stopping a few times while mid conversation.

You had completely forgotten about Jungkook’s summer internship which had already began. He could go on and on about the people he worked with and you enjoyed listening to every bit of it, humming along and giggling every time he did a voice impression.

It was impossibly soon when you both had reached your apartment, despite taking the long way there. It was hard for you both to unlink your fingers and part ways. As you drank in the sight of Jungkook in front of your place, you noticed the way his expression was expectant.

“I guess this is where we say goodbye.” You slipped your hand out of his grasp much to his disappointment.

“Does it have to be?” Jungkook’s doe eyes damn near broke your heart, but even so, you couldn’t break your own heart by allowing him inside. Who knows all the complications that would arise from doing that.

“’Fraid so…”

“But neither of us want it to be.” Jungkook frowned.

“Even so, it’s better this way.” Jungkook sighed in frustration and shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking his foot into the concrete.

“Even if you think so, I’m not giving up,” Jungkook looked up at you one last time, “I meant what I said. I love you, Y/N.” Your breath hitched hearing those words for the second time today. You swallowed and looked away before you could get emotional, unlocking the door to your apartment and disappearing behind it.

As you leaned against the door, you willed your heart to stop pounding in your ears. You peaked out of the window and watched Jungkook walk back up the block with his hands still in his pockets. The high you felt all night was wearing off, and all that was left was sadness and exhaustion.

With a deep sigh, you started stripping on the way to your room. You had left the lights off before leaving, so you stubbed your toe on the corner of your dresser in the darkness. You cussed and hobbled over to the light switch to inspect your throbbing pinky. Upon turning around, you saw a figure rising from your bed and it took everything in you not to scream.

Jennie was groggily rubbing her eyes as she squinted at you through the piercing light flooding her eyes. You stood on the other end of the room, frozen with your foot in your hand.

“Turn the lights off, it’s late.”

“Umm, what the hell are you doing here?”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t sleep her anymore.”

“Yeah but I never said you could either.” You limped over to the bed and crossed your arms. The girl sighed and looked up at you once her eyes adjusted to the light.

“I broke off the engagement.” You gaped at her, dropping your arms to your sides in disbelief.

“You what?! When?!”

“A couple hours ago. I just, I couldn’t do it anymore. My parents threatened to cut me off but…I don’t care. I choose you.” With that, Jennie laid back down and rolled over while pulling the covers over her. “Now, please turn the lights off. I have to get a fucking job in the morning unless you want me squatting here.”

In a daze, you turned off the lights then crawled into bed beside her. You laid on your side with your back facing her, trying to discern why you felt even sadder than before. You thought she fell back asleep soon after, so you began crying and letting the stress of everything wash over you. While blubbering into your pillow, you felt Jennie’s arm drape over your shaking frame as she scooted closer to you to be big spoon. Your sobs soon died down, finding comfort in her embrace. But the most overwhelming emotion of all was relief.