#fight that battle; but also like.... is patronizing her and treating her like the lords specialest gift bc she experienced CSA

[gu6chan]

im ngl this may mainly be a twitter thing as i dont really follow sh2 here on tumblr outside of like 2 blogs so potentially hot take incoming??? but aside from all the underserved angela hate that can be just outright insulting to victims (especially in regards to the dead horse that is her remake design and all the "memes" about that jfc) i also feel that some others even WITH good intentions are way too patronizing of her to the point it just becomes dehumanizing tbh, it is something i do not see mentioned NEARLY enough but like some of y'all fawn and talk about her and her trauma and treat her more like a sick kitten than an actual human being. like yeah while it goes without saying there are plenty of well-intentioned people out there, a lot of it just reads as rlly fake and performative tbh

[ladystoneboobs]

"So long as Theon Greyjoy sits in your father's seat with your brothers' blood on his hands, these other foes must wait," Catelyn told her son. "Your first duty is to defend your own people, win back Winterfell, and hang Theon in a crow's cage to die slowly. Or else put off that crown for good, Robb, for men will know that you are no true king at all." From the way Robb looked at her, she could tell that it had been a long while since anyone had dared speak to him so bluntly. -Catelyn II, aSoS

no, but the way that even in asos post-jaime release, catelyn's still the only one who can speak to robb so bluntly, with no pushback from him here (only a hint of defensiveness, but no assertion of kingly authority), but only bc she's urging him onto violent vengeance befitting a warrior king. the detoriation of their relationship had a lot to do with him being crowned and the reverse in power dynamics, but there was also a shift in messaging from catelyn. when they first reunited after ned's arrest, she wasn't happy about him leading the army but agreed it was too late to turn back, and furthermore, more importantly agreed that they had to go to war regardless as the only way to save their family, bluntly telling him victory on the field was the only way to do that and that if he lost they'd all die. afterwards, once ned was beyond rescue, she changed her tune to talk of peace to save her daughters. being a woman is not too much a dealbreaker in itself for robb or most of his vassals (see mormont women fighting in all robb's battles) but acting too soft, too much like a worried mother, and later treating the king himself as still a child to be protected, that's just going too far. a warzone is no place for a woman who can't fight and worse, can't even be gung-ho enough to support all her son's violence while worrying about the danger he's in and the plight of her other children.

"kings aren't supposed to have mothers" is a sword that cuts both ways against mother and royal teen son. a boy who comes into power at 15 is only a year away from westerosi coming of age, "almost a man grown", and so must prove his manhood accordingly from the start. a boy of that age should become a man upon his father's death, so a surviving parent still treating him as their child is surplus to requirements. more convenient if she could be politically dead too, fading into the background and not asserting herself too much as a mother to the teen ruler. by the standards of their society, not only is he ranked above her once coming into power but it's his job to protect her as manly head of the family, certainly not the other way around. by the time of asos, robb is officially a man grown at 16, but has also made his own softhearted mistakes. first, by releasing his buddy theon no strings attached (a choice i doubt those lords who fought against balon's first rebellion liked any more than catelyn did), and then, compounding the original theon-related mistake, marrying jeyne westerling at the cost of his military cause after falling into her bed in his grief over theon's alleged murders of bran and rickon. he can publicly pardon his mother's release of jaime as a magnanimous king understanding a mother's womanly softness, but has all the more reason to assert his own manly strength once again. that prick lord karstark was the only one actually expecting the king to punish his own mother for treason, but most of the other lords, like the greatjon umber, could only forgive her in a patronizing way. "It was a mother's folly. Women are made that way." surely, they'd all think she had just proved they were right to dismiss her talk of peace before the greatjon made robb king, and surely they'd believe she'd fully proven she was not fit to be a trusted adviser after ned's death. what kind of weak mama's boy would still listen to a hysterical, grieving mother who cared more about her children's safety than winning the war? after making his own unwise choices driven by love, robb could not be contaminated by catelyn's. the king who lost the north had to lose his mother at his side too to compensate. kill the always respectful son looking to his mother for answers to let the king be born, or something.

[mahvaladara]

=L I F E • S T A G E S • C A S • C H A L L E N G E • by @someone-elsa

Gamall Sullyvan

- Pre-Wanderer-

Toddler - 4 years old -

Gamall was born in a middle class family. He was the eldest of five children. By the time he was four, he had one younger sibling. Gamall would be one of two boys.

He was a very happy cheerful toddler, independent and curious, he’d brave through the world with a cunning curiosity.

Child - 10 years old

Gamall was a very educated child. He didn’t have friends, so he spent his days in the Call Dragon library with his grandmother, after whom he was named. At that age Gamall’s greatest was to become a librarian like his grandmother, a very desired and well respected career.

Gamall had everything a child could need.

At this age, Gamall already had four younger siblings. One boy and three girls.

It was at that age, that Gamall’s mother was caught by a Vill from an ‘evil eye’ and became deathly ill with the rot.

Teenager - 13 - 16 years old

Gamall’s family was exhiled from Call Dragon. As they refused to let his mother be executed, his family was exhiled and shunned. His father spent all the family had to remove the contagion from his mother’s rot, but his mother was not cured from the illness. 

His father would work tiressly to try and treat his mother.

Gamall, being the eldest, became tasked with raising his younger siblings, taking care of his bedridden mother and taking care of his father. Gamall was forced to quit school in order to play the role of mother of the house, not only to his younger siblings but also his mother. As she confused him for his grandmother, she actually accepted a lot better having Gamall take care of her, so for 6 years Gamall dressed and looked like a woman.

He was heavily abused during this time (phisically) by his mother who’s dementia had made her aggressive and his father who didn’t like when Gamall neglected her. As all his father made was to take care of his mother and siblings, Gamall was actually heavily neglected, underweight, depressed and suicidal.

Around this time Gamall, at 16, met Caitlin, who was 10 years his senior. As she’d bring him books, food and clothes, Gamall slowly started falling in love with her.

Young Adult - 18-35

As soon as he turned 18, Gamall actually eloped with Caitlin. Gamall left one morning for the market to sell his father’s produce and never returned home. Actually, Caitlin, who he had begged to save him, was waiting for him and the two left in a small carriage towards North, to the town of Riverrend.

For the next 17 years Gamall lived a happy, poor, but happy life as a lumberjack in his wife’s mill. With Caitlin, Gamall had one son, Seimei.

Now, if Caitlin was the catalizer for Gamall to gain freedom and happiness in his life, Seimei was the catalizer to ruin his life yet again. Seimei, somewere along the line, due to school, found about about the vegan diet and refused to eat the food Gamall was able to afford for his son. Seimei became deathly ill with Blood Rot (anemia then leukemia). Though, there were treatments, as Gamall had lost legal citizenship due to what his dad did in the past, they couldn’t ask gorvenmental aid.

So Gamall, at this point in life joined the Imperial Aklorian Army as a contract archer, hoping to earn enough to buy a horse and find a better paid job as a courier. 

- During The Wanderer-

Adult - 35- 40

During the war Gamall was captured by the Ainlienists and tortured heavily. Now, normally, like any dragon afiliated human, Gamall would be burned alive, or staked, or impaled, or dismembered as a gruesome display the Ainlinists did of power, to show what happened to “dragon whores” and “demon worshipers”. But a quick death was not in Gamall’s future. No. 

He crossed paths during his torture with Valadara, the personification of the will of the Universe. The Paradox of Paradoxes, and it was bored. 

Literally.

So Gamall would do. He would do just fine.

Slowly undergoing a change into a dragon and a paradox, Gamall finds himself pulled by the Aklorian Army as probably the last chance to destroy the Ainlienists and stop their plot to "cleanse” the world by fire.

Adult - 40+

At this point, Gamall is starting to hate this whole “Immortal Warlock” deal. “It’s not like you can die” has become everyone’s moto towards him. He can still feel pain though, and he really wishes, REALLY wishes, they’d stop sending him on suicide missions.

At this point he has to work with Jullian, his torturer. Ainlinist Commander turned “good guy” who wishes to “bring the Church of Burden to the right path”. Yea right, like a bunch of fanatic, religious zealouts can ever find the right path!

And gall! 

Gamall has to help him! Gamall has to help the man who sawed him in half, knowing he could not die, left him to rot, alone, in a basement.

Yes, he’ll help him, alright. Gamall will help Jullian. Gamall will help everyone, especially his friends, who didn’t bother to go look for him while he was dragging his instestines through sand, in a desert, with his body split in half from his freaking balls up to his sternum, only held together with pieces of dirty clothe bathed in booze he was somehow rational enough to tied his body with so it wouldn’t split open while he walked. 

But his friends said it best: “It’s not like you’ll die!”

...

Right now, the only thing stopping him from shoving his staff down his friend’s and Jullian’s combined esophaguses and making a human sish kebab, is that helping Jullian redeem himself only to kill him later, will make revenge that much sweeter.

...

He’s a bit bitter.

-Post Wanderer-

The Wanderer - Paradox

You know what? Gamall has rethought this whole “Immortal Warlock” deal. It’s actually pretty cool!

Overpowered as fuck, feared as fuck, and you can’t kill him.

His mental health took a permanent vacation in Taiti and refuses to even send him a postcard, but it’s cool!

A wanted criminal, you do not mess with The Wanderer. He is feared, reveared and avoided. No one messes with him, the Empress has instructed every single one of her Army and Guard to just let him be. He wants to steal? Let him. He wants to fuck? Let him. 

Despite being such a despised and feared criminal, the Wanderer is actually pretty chill, and if no one bothers him, you won’t even realize who he is. Just a scholar visiting the local libraries, a warlock frequenting the local dueling ground, a patron in an in, miding his own business.

Of course there’s always an idiot in leather armour who wants to try and claim a bounty on his head or some shit and that’s when the Wanderer shows his colours, or better said, power. They say he can kill a man with a spoon, a ballrog with a laddle, a high ranking knight with a mug, and whipe out an entire army with one spell.

They say this man, was once the war hero Gamall Sullyvan, but he can’t be Gamall. Gamall was a good man and he looks nothing like Gamall, ask his son or wife. Gamall had brown eyes and brown hair, this man has green eyes and black hair.

Gamall was a father and a good man.

This man, this Wanderer, is a monster.

He singlehandedly eradicated the Church of Burden from Akloria. They say he kept their Archebishop, lord Jullian, for last. Made him watch while he scorched the city and everyone in it. He said “since Ainlienists love burning witches so much, lets give them a taste of their own medecine”. Then crushed the archebishop’s head. 

He cannot be Gamall. Gamall was a valued ally of Commander Kadra, and the Wanderer cut off her fighting arm in battle after tieing up with her in melee combat.

This man cannot be Gamall.

Only he is.

And he is a Paradox.

The Paradox of Change.

And sometimes you change for worse.

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) hettyc STAR WARS

When Bruck closes his eyes, he dreams of fire. Of smoke invading his lungs until he can’t breath, of it burning in his eyes until he can’t see past the cloud of acidic grey that surrounds him. He sees the red flames every time he tries to sleep, feels the burning heat on his skin and hears the Temple groaning around him. The Force is screaming, wailing in distress, and Bruck regrets listening to his father, he hates himself for following his orders to befriend Lord Xanatos for the good of their House.

He never could have known that this was what Xanatos had been planning; he had thought the older man had simply missed the Temple when he had asked all those questions. He had thought that he had wanted to be his friend - Bruck had too few friends nowadays. None of his creche mates wanted to be around him, not after Kenobi disappeared, and Xanatos had become a sympathetic ear. His clan siblings blame him for Obi-Wan having been sent away, and Bruck doesn’t hold it against them. If he hadn’t taunted him, hadn’t lied, then Obi-Wan wouldn’t have been sent away. He wouldn’t have been stolen. Even Aalto avoids him, unwilling to go against the tide, and Xanatos was the only one who listened.

But Xanatos had betrayed him.

Bant’s limp body is heavier in his dreams than she had been in real life, but he continues to drag her, because her life depends on it. The flames get hotter, the smoke thicker, and he hears laughter, dark and sadistically amused, in the darkness around him. It echoes in the smoke, vibrates in his bones, and while it had been nearly three years since the attack on the Temple, the fear is still fresh.

As always, Bruck wakes up the moment Xanatos pushes him into the fire. He doesn’t scream, not anymore, because Master Qui-Gon needs his sleep, so instead Bruck stays in his small bunk, wraps his blanket around his shaking shoulders, and tries to center himself.

Xanatos isn’t here. He isn’t at the Temple; he’s on Jaster’s Legacy, surrounded by Mandalorians. It should scare him - Mandalorians used to hunt Jedi for sport, and had been one of their oldest enemies - but instead it makes him feel safer. He’s seen the way the Fetts treat the younger Kryze and… Ben. He’s seen the way they act around Bruck compared to how they do around his Master, they’re even warm enough to Duchess Satine, who has been nothing but patronizing and arrogant, and who is legally an adult, but only barely.

Mandalorians are widely known as powerful warriors, but they’re also known for their love of children. Bruck is fifteen, still a child in the eyes of the law, so he’s confident that the Mandalorians won’t attack him; the Council had counted on it when they picked Bruck and his Master for the mission. He’s young enough to be a child in the eyes of the Mandalorians, but skilled enough to hold his own in battle if it needed to come to it.

The Fetts weren’t like Xanatos. They wouldn’t hurt him to get at Master Qui-Gon, no matter how much they hated the Jedi Master.

“Quiet your thoughts, Padawan.” His Master says gruffly from his own cot, and Bruck winces guiltily - he hadn’t meant to wake up the older Jedi with his stewing. “Release your emotions into the Force and focus on the here and now.”

“Yes Master.” Bruck murmurs, “Sorry, Master.”

But he can’t get Xanatos’ voice out of his head, mocking him as he holds his face against the flames, telling him about all the terrible things he did to Obi-Wan and what he’d do to Bruck. He doesn’t want Master Qui-Gon to see the memory again, not after everything he had put him through with his nightmares when their bond had still been new, he doesn’t want his Master to have to deal with that pain again. He needs to get control of himself. Master Qui-Gon needs his sleep, and Bruck needs to get a hold on his emotions so that he can prove that he’ll be a good Jedi.

Master Qui-Gon grumbles something under his breath, rolling over to put his back to where Bruck sits. “If you can’t get back to sleep, perhaps you should go meditate, and work to strengthen your connection to the Living Force.” He orders, and Bruck bows his head, unable to face his Master’s disappointment again.

“Yes Master.” He gathers his tunics quickly, pauses as he considers the new tears in the fabric, then grabs his sewing kit as well. He may be on the run, and his tunics may be falling apart, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to look his best. Besides, it had always been easier to concentrate when he could do things with his hands.

He ducks out of the room he shares with his Master as the older man’s breath evens out again, and he hurries down the hall as quietly as he could, intent on heading towards the rec room. The ship is quiet in it’s night cycle, and the halls are empty. Jaster’s Legacy is a ship designed to hold more people than just seven, it leaves the ship feeling abandoned, and Bruck had read enough on the history of the True Mandalorians to know why.

The Jedi had been a part of a massacre. They had been the weapons turned on a group of innocent people and used to kill them. To add insult to injury, the Senate wouldn’t allow for any reparations to be payed to their victims, claiming the Civil War as the cause without acknowledging that be sending the Jedi on an ill-researched mission that would end in a battle that murdered the majority of the most popular Mandalorian political party, they had made the fighting worse . Bruck had done his research. He’d looked into the modern history of Mandalore and written a report for his Master to read, as was expected of a Padawan, but Bruck suspects his Master hadn’t even looked at it, considering the way he had been acting. But Master Qui-Gon was enamoured with the Mandalore Kryze wants to build, and didn’t want to hear of any other possible choice.

If it were up to Bruck, the True Mandalorians would be in charge; he had enjoyed the historical and political articles the Reformer, Mand’alor Jaster Mereel, had written, and logically he could believe that Fett shared the same ideals as his adoptive father. But it’s not, and Bruck needs to follow orders. The Senate wants Satine Kryze on the Throne, so that’s what Bruck has to do.

He steps into the rec room, and falters. Ben Fett is kneeling on a small cushion, meditating , and stripped down to a too-large sleep shirt that slips down his shoulder, revealing a twisted scar over his shoulder blade. Bruck knows immediately what it is, and it makes him feel sick.

A brand.

Bruck stutters, and the youngest Fett twitches, head lifting.

“Good evening, Padawan Chun.” The redhead greets politely, peering at the Padawan over his shoulder, and Bruck shifts awkwardly, feeling guilty for staring.

Ben is odd. Bruck may have grown up with Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Ben Fett is completely different from the boy he had known. Ben is calmer, quieter, and a lot more dangerous, and Bruck doesn’t know how to act around him. Bruck himself is no longer the boy he had been either, and for the last three years he had thought his childhood rival was dead.

“Sorry.” He mutters quickly, “I can go somewhere else.”

“No, it’s fine.” Fett says easily, shifting out of his meditation pose to stretch out his legs, and he adjusts the sleeve of his old shirt to slide it back over the twisted, melted skin on his back. “You can stay.” He offers Bruck a slightly awkward smile that has the other teenager blushing, “I don’t mind.”

Bruck shifts again, considering the offer, before he moves into the rec room, moving towards the couch. “Thanks.” The moment he’s sitting, he starts pulling out the needle and thread he needs to patch up the tears in his tunic. They sit in silence for a long moment, Bruck tending to his clothes and Ben methodically taking apart his sniper rifle, before Bruck speaks again. “I’m sorry.” Ben’s hands pause on the barrel of his blaster, glancing up at Bruck from under his shaggy bangs, and the pale-haired boy swallows nervously.

He had imagined apologizing to his former creche mate for years, since the moment he and the rest of their clan had been told that their clan-brother was gone. Bant and Reeft had cried for months, Garen had stopped paying attention in piloting classes, Aalto had stopped talking for nearly a year, and Bruck? Bruck had imagined finding Obi-Wan, of going and saving him, of being the hero and showing everyone how good a Jedi he was. He had gotten everything he had ever wanted; he had been chosen as a Padawan, he was the best in every class, but as more time passed, it started to feel rotten.

He had gotten everything, but Obi-Wan had only suffered.

“Whatever for?”

“I’m sorry.” Bruck says again, voice wobbling, and he ducks his head in shame. “I was horrible to you -” he thinks back to the brand that had been burned into Ben’s shoulder, and feels like the worst sort of being, “- it’s my fault you were taken.”

“No, it’s not.” Ben states firmly, voice a lot closer than it had been before, and the cushion next to him dips as the young Mandalorian sits beside him. “It was no one’s fault but Xanatos’, and my own.”

Bruck scoffs, “That’s ridiculous.”

Ben shrugs, “I’m the one who slipped away from the farm, and Xanatos was the one who sold me.”

“And it’s my fault you were there!” Bruck says sharply, closing his eyes against the burning tears, and his hands clench in the fabric of his tunic. “I was the one who lied! I was the one who treated you horribly and taunted you so that I could get you in trouble.”

“But I was the one who rose to the attack.” Ben states simply, “Anger isn’t the way of the Jedi, but I just kept getting angry - I would have made a terrible Jedi.”

Bruck bristles, “You would have been an amazing Jedi.” Ben just chuckles, and Bruck twitches faintly when a light hand rests on his arm. “I’m sorry that I ever told you otherwise.”

“I don’t blame you, Bruck.” Ben tells him gently, “Maybe I did, once, but not anymore.” Bruck hiccups. “I forgive you. I forgave you years ago.” The hand moves to press against his burned cheek, and Bruck opens his eyes to stare at the other boy in shock.

Ben smiles at him, and Bruck’s heart flutters in his chest, cheeks warming. It had been a long time since this had happened, but Bruck is older now, more mature, and he’s learned how to deal with confusing emotions in ways that don't lead to him lashing out.

“We were little kids, Bruck - what happened wasn’t your fault.”

Overwhelmed and close to tears, Bruck leans forward and presses their lips together.

[valen-but-not-tine]

rwby & hwbf5

RWBY

Favorite character: Yang Xiao Long, no hesitation. 

Second favorite character: Ruby Rose. this was a little harder to choose but I feel like Ruby is the best embodiment of why RWBY means so much to me, which is best summed up with a line she had back in v1 her conversation with blake in shining beacon pt 2 really struck a chord with me blake: the world isn’t the same as a fairy tale Ruby: well that’s why we’re here, to make it better

Least favorite character: this is actually hard to answer just bc the first answers that come to mind I am now at a point where I’m able to step back and say the writers have improved drastically, and if they were to rewrite v1 now, every issue I have with them would probably be a non issue (Jaune Arc and Sun Wukong). like I feel like my big issues with them were in how they were written not in what they were, which arguably how they were written is how they are, but before rwby they were known for a show where they dub over halo for the animation and let’s plays, they’re not the monopoly that is Disney, and because they have improved in writing and this show means so much to me, I’m willing to give them some leniency. 

now that I’ve given a large paragraph on why it’s not those 2 I’m gonna say Taiyang Xiao Long, I project on to Yang a lot, and he reminds me of my dad a lot, so a lot of my issues with my dad get thrown onto those 2.

The character I’m most like: Did I mention the reason Yang is so unshakable as my fav is that I relate/project onto her a huge amount?

Favorite pairing: Bumbleby; Yang and Blake. I’m very picky about romance stuff, but this pairing means a lot to me. it’s the first queer rep I’ve found that I didn’t go looking for/know about going in, it found me. I’ve been following rwby since it was just the trailers, while I haven’t always been active in the fndm I’ve been here long enough I remember the first discourse where some people had their expectations shattered when it turned out to be a school anime (for the first few volumes at least). That would have been 9th grade for me, and the slow realization that hey this is happening hit me like a train over and over again bc I just couldn’t really believe it at first. 

Least favorite pairing: there’s a lot I could say here, there are so many ships in rwby, most of them mediocre, some of them straight up bad (abusive, tauradonna, whatever the shipname for cinder/emerald is). but I’m gonna go straight for an unpopular opinion, Renora is the epitome of a comp het, they remind me of my first boyfriend before I realized I was somewhere on the aro spectrum. as of right now the only time I actually like it is when it’s poly with Jaune (and Pyrrha). It wouldn’t bother me that much but it’s so prevalent. Like maybe I should be grateful they’re not giving us any of the other painfully straight ships, white knight, blacksun, Ruby/Jaune, but even those aren’t as bad (to me personally and my tastes) bc they don’t look like they’re going to be canon, so it’s just ship and let ship, but renora as of right now just reminds me too much of we’ve been best friends forever and “he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious.”

like if anyone reading ships it all the power to you, as long as you’re not shitting on other ships or seriously shipping something abusive I don’t care that much, I’m just very picky with romance and renora hits a lot of boxes that tic me off

Favorite moment: The talk with Yang and Raven in the Vault under Haven. Listen I chose my name, so my name’s meaning has a lot of meaning to me, The root Val, it’s the same root as valor, means strength (also worth but that’s secondary, or at least secondary in my choosing Valen) hearing Yang tell her mother she doesn’t know the first thing about strength. “yeah I’m scared. but I’m still standing here.” it means a lot to me.

Rating out of 10: 100 

I’ve been here since the beginning to watch RWBY grow and improve, it’s shown itself to have staying power in my heart, and from v1 it’s “thematic goal” is one I try to live by (shown in Ruby and Blake’s talk in v1e3 shining beacon pt 2) and the world building really sticks with me, love me fantasy super powers and magic.

Hot Wheels: Battle Force 5

Favorite character: Tezz Volitov. he’s weird to describe bc normally his character archtype annoys me, but it’s different with him. he’s an arrogant asshole but he’s my arrogant asshole.

Second favorite character: Agura Ibaden

Least favorite character: Grimmian. he just annoys me. he’s nothing without Krytus backing him up, and while we don’t know what he was doing before he tried (and failed bc he’s not good at fighting, driving, or scheming without krytus) to take over the Vandals, but he should’ve stayed there. Grimmian is a pawn with nothing that holds my interest. Kalus kept Grimmian around bc Grimmian was necessary for the plot(not really tho they could’ve given us the vandals falling apart and turning against themselves with one of the characters we already had who had expressed interest in taking lead). Oh my god he’s Starscream if Starscream were incompetent. except starscream doesn’t need a patron that hates and plans to dispose of him when he’s no longer useful in order to try to take power. he’s never successful but at least he tries on his own. As far as we know Grimmian had no ambition without Krytus manipulating him.

The character I’m most like: This is harder to answer than for rwby, but then again rwby has the character I relate/project onto the most out of any thing. Probably Agura or Tezz, there’s a reason those 2 are my favorites after all.

Favorite pairing: I know my rwby opinions didn’t show this but I’m not much of a shipper, one of the things I like about this show is there isn’t much unnecessary romance. If I had to say I guess Sherman and Tezz. Pair the brains together.

Least favorite pairing: Agura and Stanford. it’s the stereotypical guy and girl fighting so that means they’re in love. like the show doesn’t make that a thing, but I know if hwbf5 were more popular the fanbase would’ve. oh and Zoom and Vert (well zoom and anybody) “there’s no canon ages!” yeah sure but I can still watch the group interactions and how they treat each other and be uncomfy about it if I wanna.

Favorite moment: every time Tezz is on screen. Tezz’s introduction “I am the rebel army” all of the lord of the kharamanos episode. actually now that I’m thinking about it that episode is probably what sets tezz apart from his normal archetype for me.

Rating out of 10: this is my comfort show of all comfort shows, I have no joke, it exceeds any rating system. Oh I’m having a bad time and terribly anxiety ridden? no I’m not cause it’s hot wheels time.

That’s a lot of words I hope that’s what you wanted!! thanks for the ask!!

[rosecolouredash]

Querencia CH. 4

Previous Chapters// PROLOGUE ONE TWO THREE

Summary: A prince and his sword encounters a white mage.

Warnings: Mentions of (magical) violence

Notes: I’ve been on a writing roll, lately. Thank you to everyone who’s still with me on this. It helps a lot. Also just for fun, I created this lil character board for Cecile, Remy, Rome & Dionne. Expect the rest of the OC’s to have one too because these are really fun to make.

—

CHAPTER FOUR

After receiving helpful information from a river Naiad named Cecile, Prince Calum and the Royal Liberation Army venture into the city of Ardglas. They look for the ‘boy with a golden halo’ and the ‘girl with a heart on her sleeve’ to heal Sir Ashton of his burns from the witch Estelle’s magick. When they cross the border, from forest to civilization, they are confronted with a civil war between the governing forces of Ardglas—two mages named Delara and Luke.

As the Royal Army rushed towards the flames and commotion, the bandit, Michael asked his companions, “Who the hell are Lady Delara and Lord Luke?”

To the prince’s dismay, the knight, Ashton—though injured—insisted he help in the possible fight. Now atop his galloping mare, Peggy, he recited to the group what he knew of the mages of Ardglas. 

The city was home to a number of magick users and creatures—being one of Saere’s most mystical and diverse populations. Founded by the patron of all mages, it was decreed long ago that his ancestors would care for the land. In the current century, two mages were given dual responsibility to govern—Delara, a black mage of the house of Sutton, oversaw the Northern parts of the city while as Luke, a white mage and a member of the house of Hemmings, reigned in the South of Ardglas.     

“To my knowledge, the two mages are also distant cousins,” Ashton finished with grimace. He and the twin knights, Remy and Rome, paved the way for the army—passing along burning buildings and destroyed cobblestone roads.

Michael scoffed from the wagon—pulled by the twins and their stallions—that he, Calum and his bandit family occupied. Dionne flew above them on her beloved gryphon, Arnie. 

“A civil war and a family affair? This situation just keeps getting better and better.”

When they drew near, the screams of Ardglasians and combat were all to be heard. It was pure chaos—magick and weapons being used throughout the area. The Royal Army, not on horse or gryphon, jumped from the wagon and successfully rounded up the scared civilians. 

“Remy, Rome. Please bring these people to safety.” Calum nodded to the two young knights. With a salute, they veered back—opposite the mayhem of battle—with a wagon full of people, grateful for the help. 

From the sky, Dionne and Arnie suddenly let out a cry. “Incoming!”

The remaining group on land was able to disperse when a large fireball enveloped the place wherein they previously stood. 

“Everyone all right?” The bandits responded to their leader’s inquiry as he went to stand by Calum. They stared at the scorched ground. “Well, that was close.”

The prince frowned. He looked up to gaze at the ongoing war. “Why are the two magick houses at war? What could have happened?”

The king of the wastelands gave a shrug of his shoulders. Before he could fathom a response, another scream ripped through the air.

“Another one!” 

Calum had no time to react when he was forcefully pushed away—his back skidding against the ground.

“Michael, no!” The royal watched wide-eyed as another fireball fell fast towards the bandit.

Even the magick of Zephir could not help his friend—the speed of the flame just too violent, too quick.

All Michael could feel around him was heat. Unbearable heat. The kind where it made it difficult to breathe. A shadow obscured his vision as he awaited his untimely demise. After a second, the bandit shut his eyes and then felt nothing.

—

“Don’t be so careless.” 

The bandit blinked his eyes open, in surprise. He was alive. 

Furthermore, he did not recognize that voice. 

The blond in front of him, calmly stood—his collared white dress shirt dirtied and charred. The stranger had one arm outstretched, the lace trim of his sleeve partially covering his palm halfway. The other hand held a glowing staff.

The young man took one look at the fireball, now unmoving, mid-air. It then exploded into hundreds of smaller flames—all harmless while dissipating into smoke.

“Boss! You ok?” Michael was then surrounded by his bandits—who helped him up—as well as Dionne, who had flown down to earth, in absolute worry.

“Y-Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks to this guy.” 

Both Calum and Ashton, after dismounting from Peggy, joined the group—also looking over Michael to be sure he was not hurt. The prince then stepped forward to address the bandit’s saviour. “Thank you for protecting my friend.” 

The blond turned towards the Royal Army, his stare piercing and blue. “You lot helped my people. It’s the least I can do.” 

Ashton then squinted at him, in recognition. “Luke Hemmings? Leader of the Morning Doves and the southern plains of Ardglas?”

The renowned mage gave them a charming smile. “The one and only.”

As war raged on around them, Luke commanded his team of white mages to continue their valiant efforts. Though their struggle was apparent, they abided by their leader’s wishes—holding off the enemy and protecting him and the Royal Army from anymore wayward spells thrown their way.

In need of answers, Calum went to speak again when he was interrupted by the blond.

“Not here. Let’s go to my place and talk.”

—

“It was an ambush.”

The Royal Liberation Army stood with Luke in the large foyer of his heavily guarded manor. The white mage was aware of who Calum and Ashton were—the embroidery on the prince’s coat and the red ensigns that littered the knight’s silver armour being a dead giveaway. He was pleasantly surprised to meet their allies in the bandits; Michael, the acclaimed king of the Veodian wastelands that he saved from fire and Dionne, the sole gryphon rider Luke has ever met.

“Delara can be a brat but she’s not a violent person.” Luke grimaced at the thought. He and his cousin never had an issue in governing the city. They did so equally and peacefully. He was at a loss when news of the mages of her domain began their attack that morning.

“I know they’re from the Midnight Crows but—”

The Royal Army could see the apprehension in his face. Luke hid it well but he was certainly distraught over the entire situation. “—I think someone else is making them do this.”

At the comment, Calum made subtle eye contact with some of his allies. “Do you think—”

“That it’s the Easentian Army? It’s quite possible.” Ashton crossed his arms—a pensive look on his face. “I wouldn’t put it past them to wreak havoc around Saere.”

Before they could ponder more on the thought, one of Luke’s mages came rushing into the room, something in their hands.

“My Lord, it’s ready.”

The leader of the White Doves was presented with a gold circlet, its thick band encrusted with what looked like diamonds. The Royal Army stared in awe at the accessory as Luke explained that the jewels were actually crystalized water from the mystical lake, Galatea. A while back, the mage had discovered that the solid matter of lakewater carried a high concentration of magick—a single crystal being able to amplify the powers of even a child mage. Many times over.

“White mages are known primarily for their healing magick. For black mages, it’s offensive spells—like the fireball that almost fried the bandit to a crisp.” He finished, with a teasing grin. Michael let out a mock laugh. 

“The crystals will help us stand a fighting chance but so far, we only have enough for this single headpiece.”

Luke went to place the circlet on his head when Calum had a realization.

“The boy with a golden halo.”

The mage expressed confusion at the comment. The prince then explained their being in Ardglas, in the first place, with the help of a river Naiad and the need of a healer for Ashton. At the mention of his name, the knight—with some difficulty—removed the breastplate of his armoured suit. He pulled up his undershirt to reveal his injuries. The burns had gotten worse, most likely due to their activity. After a quick inspection, Luke frowned. These were not ordinary burns. “Dela is better versed in magical wounds like this. I’d need her help to treat him.”

Calum gave a nod of his head. “Then it’s decided. We pay her a visit while getting to the bottom of this all.”

—

After some strategic planning, the Royal Army, Luke and a handful of his mages, set off for the domain of the Midnight Crows. Before leaving, the head mage turned towards the knight who was adjusting his saddle on the white mare. “You should stay behind, Ashton.”

At being addressed, Ashton regarded the blond in bewilderment. “Excuse me?”

The mage held his ground. “I don’t know much about your kind of injury but I know enough that if you join us it can—no, it will get worse.”

Overhearing their conversation, Calum stepped forward. “Ash—are you in pain?”

The knight regarded his prince, his best friend, with a sense of desperation in his eyes. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” He then let out a breath, “Calum, you need me.”

“What I need is for you to be ok.”

Ashton did not know how to respond so Calum continued. “I’m not asking as your best friend. I’m telling you as your prince that you’re not leaving Luke’s place to fight.”   

Not one to disobey a royal order, Ashton backed down—though begrudgingly. 

Michael and Dionne watched on as it all transpired. The bandit king then spoke to his oldest friend. “Di, you should stay behind with Ashton.”

The group turned towards the two when Dionne let out a rather loud scoff. “Are you kidding me? I’m one of your best fighters! Like hell I’m staying here with the royal knight.”

Michael then made the argument. “Exactly, you’re my best fighter. If Delara’s mages somehow get to Luke’s while we’re away, Ash is done for. He’s gonna need backup.”

Dionne hated to admit it but her friend was right. He was always thinking of others which made him such a good leader. Of course he would be concerned with leaving behind his new—and injured—friend unprotected.

When the group finally made their way, Calum looked back towards Luke’s home. 

Ashton stood with Dionne, the girl’s arms crossed and a small scowl on her face—the white mare and gryphon standing alongside their respective riders. 

The prince’s eyes met with the knight’s as Ashton raised a hand to gesture a number of things. A ‘goodbye’ yet ‘see you soon.’ A ‘fight fierce’ but ‘return safe and unharmed.’

Calum then faced forward while speaking to Michael who was right next to him. “I hope we did the right thing.” 

—

A soldier pushed open a set of giant wooden doors. “General, the white mage, Luke, has come with reinforcements!” He spoke between pants.

The large man glanced out of the stained glass window of the manor to see a group of individuals beginning to storm the entry gates. One of them, in particular, caught his eye.

“Well, if it isn’t the prince and his sad excuse of an army.” He let out a maniacal laugh. “Emperor Lorian will be pleased to hear that we’ve found them.”

He turned away from the glass to speak with another figure in the room.

“Looks like your cousin is trying to play hero, huh Dela?”

He received no response from the brunette woman crumpled on the floor. Her once navy blue dress was now stained with darkened spots from the blood that seeped through her wounds. Where her left sleeve was ripped open, a peculiar birthmark was made apparent.

In the shape of a heart.

—

Tagged: @irwinkitten @calpops @rosecoloredash @lilbabycalum @gorgeouslygrace @rainingcalum @cashton-dolan @lockthisheartinchains @americanhorrorstudies @lovableah @cals-eyebrows @quintodosuniversos

[jennycalendar]

imperfections (69/?)

read it on ao3!

a spotlight on a different relationship dynamic this chapter!!

Xander had literally never seen Giles this happy, especially in the face of an impending apocalypse. Generally, Giles was all Stiff-Upper-Lip Guy, even in his most relatively cheerful moments—but here he was, late at night, waltzing Jenny round the living room and humming along to a song on the radio. It was like the proposal had brought out a new side to Giles, and honestly, Xander was really glad about it. The terrible couple of hours where they’d been sure Giles was going to die—that had majorly sucked, and seeing Giles this lit up with delight made things feel like they might finally be getting back to normal.

As such, when Jenny tugged him aside and entrusted him with what she said was an “incredibly important assignment,” Xander couldn’t help but feel like he’d been given a soft toss. Keeping an eye on Giles during the apocalypse? Giles? Totally Capable Librarian Man? Jenny might as well have asked Xander to stay at home and watch TV while the grown-ups saved the world. He wanted to tell her that, but…Jenny was letting him stay with them, in a warm, cozy house with home-cooked meals and family movie nights. Xander couldn’t disagree with her if it might mean going back to living with his dad, so he kept his mouth shut.

That got hard when he had to watch everybody else getting ready for the apocalypse.

“Buffy, Faith, before we head down to kick the hell-beast’s butt, I need you to check in on that bomb,” Jenny was saying, strapping a knife to her thigh.

“Bomb?” Buffy repeated.

“Jack O’Toole was trying to chat me up in chem,” explained Cordelia, who was applying lip gloss and loading a crossbow at the same time. Somehow. Honestly, Xander really didn’t know how he’d landed a girl as incredible as Cordy, but he counted himself lucky every day. “Said something about some bomb under the school. Probably nothing, but it’s at least worth looking into.” She considered. “Knock his head around a little if he doesn’t tell you how to turn it off, Faith.”

Xander glanced over at Giles, who looked just as happy as he had ever since he and Jenny had gotten engaged. Also a little nervous, but Giles always looked a little nervous, so it really didn’t seem like anything worth keeping him company over. “You’ll be all right?” Giles was saying to Jenny.

In answer, Jenny took Giles’s face in her hands and said something, quietly, that Xander didn’t attempt to make out. He turned to Willow instead, but Willow was busy discussing spells with Creepy Demon Substitute Teacher Lady. And Faith was polishing her knife, and Buffy was tying her hair up in prep for battle, which left…Wesley, for some reason. Wesley seemed to have latched himself even tighter onto Anyanka after she’d stood him up, buying her excuse about a flat tire way too easily.

No way was Xander feeling low enough to talk to that guy. He sat heavily down on the couch, feeling more useless than ever.

Giles kissed Jenny goodbye one last time on their front porch, feeling the old, familiar terror rise up in him as he looked at her. The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with—it would be so poetic, so painful, if she died tonight. It would fit the pattern of his life: happiness snatched away only seconds after he realized it was there. And then he would be alone, again, with no one to hold him and kiss his hair and tell him she wanted him, even with all his life’s absurd complexities—

“Baby,” said Jenny, “get your shit together. We still have a wedding to plan.” That made Giles smile; he couldn’t help himself. Warmth spread through him as she smiled back. “I love you,” she said. “I promise I’ll play it safe.”

“I love you too,” said Giles, and tried to smile as he watched her turn and go. He couldn’t stop thinking about how quickly things could go from perfect happiness to—he had left his house, weeks ago, looking for Jenny, and ended up with his throat slit in a derelict old mansion. He could have died. He should have died. Some part of him would die, permanently, if he lost Jenny tonight.

Faith stopped as she was leaving, turning on the porch steps to give him a strange look. “Hey, man, you know it’s gonna be okay, right?” she said, a note of genuine concern in her voice. “You look really fucked up right now.”

“Thank you, Faith,” said Giles absently, and headed back inside, shutting the door behind him.

Xander was still sitting on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with a positively miserable look on his face. Giles empathized. His old instincts said that he should leave Xander to his own devices, but Jenny had taught Giles quite a bit better than that. Sitting down on the couch next to Xander, he said, “Would you like to talk about it at all?”

“No,” said Xander, glaring at the ceiling.

“All right,” said Giles. “Can you help me make cookies?”

“Don’t fucking patronize me.” Xander turned his glare on Giles, then froze, flinching back. “Uh. Shit. Man, I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget how, how you guys are being nice enough to let me live here, and I just, I need to keep remembering that—”

“Your living here isn’t a privilege, Xander,” said Giles, confused. “If you wish to air a grievance, we won’t turn you out on the street.”

“You say that now—” Xander’s voice broke. Looking mortified, he scrubbed at his face. “Jenny doesn’t want me out fighting with everyone else,” he said. “She made some dumb excuse up about you needing company, but I got the message loud and clear. This one’s a big battle and she wants to make sure I stay safe.”

Lord, there was a lot to untangle here. Giles honestly wasn’t quite sure where to start, and latched onto the easiest one to explain. Unfortunately, this was also the most honest one, and he had to take an unsteady breath before saying, “It wasn’t an excuse, Xander.”

Xander gave him an oh, really? look.

“The incident with Kralik affected me rather more than I let on,” said Giles carefully. “I don’t feel entirely ready to enter the field of battle, and required—” He swallowed, ducking his head. He felt as though Xander might think less of him after his admission, but he knew Xander’s feelings would be helped by it, and so he soldiered on. “I required company,” he said. “Jenny suggested you, on the grounds that we both thought you might treat my situation with the required sensitivity.”

Xander looked a little stunned.

“I do apologize if your feelings were hurt by any perceived insult,” Giles continued a bit shakily. “I truly never meant to offend—”

“Oh, man, Giles,” said Xander. He now looked upset in an entirely different way. Without a word, he leaned across the couch and hugged Giles—an awkward hug at a bad angle, but a hug nonetheless—and a rather overcome Giles had to blink very fast to stave off tears. “Are you okay?” Xander asked quietly.

“Well,” said Giles. His usual brush-offs weren’t coming to mind. “Well. Not quite. But your company really does help, Xander. Please don’t think Jenny—that she was giving you an easy assignment in order to keep you safe.”

Xander pulled back, looking a little embarrassed. “Kinda hard not to think that when she put me in charge of Hypercompetent Watcher Guy,” he said, leaning back into the couch and doing his best to look like he hadn’t just hugged Giles.

“Xander, I’m touched, but I’m hardly hypercompetent,” said Giles gently. “I’m simply doing my best in a rather difficult situation.”

Reluctantly, and a little wryly, Xander smiled. “That makes me feel kinda better,” he said.

“Oh?”

“I’m doing my best in tough times too,” said Xander. “Makes me think someday I can pull off the kind of stuff you do.”

“I fully expect you’ll surpass me within the next five years at least,” said Giles, grinning a little when Xander smiled back.

Giles started some chocolate chip cookies, and roped Xander into helping. “This is an extremely important life skill,” he informed Xander, who was currently attempting to pick shards of eggshell out of the egg in the mixing bowl. “At some point, you’re going to make some drastic mistake, and your significant other will want recompense. Baking always works in that regard.”

“Yeah?” said Xander, grinning a little. He’d just gotten a pretty tricky piece of eggshell out without breaking the yolk. “Does it work on Ms. Calendar?”

“Almost always,” said Giles. “I made her apology brownies after I accidentally recorded over one of her terrible action movies.”

“Might not work on Cordy,” said Xander contemplatively. “She’s always on some diet.”

“She’s rather young for that,” said Giles, sounding mildly concerned.

“I know!” Xander agreed. “I’m gonna tell her you said that, because she totally needs to hear it. I tell her how pretty she is all the time and she just goes—” He pulled a face.

Giles rolled his eyes a little, smiling. “Romantic partners can be a bit obtuse,” he said. “They tend to assume you’re biased because you love them.”

Xander blinked, then blushed. “Yeah,” he said. “Uh, you think I should tell Cordy I love her?”

Giles looked over at Xander. “Do you?” he said.

The answer to that question made Xander’s heart pick up and his cheeks flush. He ducked his head, looking down at the bowl.

“Of course,” said Giles awkwardly, reading Xander completely wrong. “You two are rather young to—that is, I would never suppose—”

“Yeah, I do,” said Xander to the eggs. It was the first time he’d told anyone. “I love her a lot. She’s smart, and she’s snarky, and sometimes we hang out in her car and she tells me all the latest gossip.” He smiled a little shyly, first at the eggs, then at Giles. “She makes me laugh.”

Giles was looking at Xander in a way that made Xander’s chest hurt, kinda. He’d always wanted an adult to look at him like that. “Well,” said Giles. “That’s wonderful. I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear it when you feel ready to tell her.”

“Maybe I’ll tell her when she gets back from the world-saving,” said Xander contemplatively. “You think that’d be a good call?”

“I think it’s a very important decision that only you can really make,” said Giles. “Are you done with the eggs?”

“What?” Xander glanced down at the egg, carefully picked out one last shard, and cracked another one, this one a little more precisely. The yolk broke, but the eggshells remained outside the bowl. “Hey,” he said, grinning. “I did it!”

“Good job,” said Giles, clapping Xander on the shoulder. “Help me mix them in and we’ll be half done with the batter.”

“Baking takes a long time,” groaned Xander, following Giles over to the larger mixing bowl.

The cookies were in the oven when they got a call from the library. Giles, who had been largely calm throughout the entire baking process, scrambled for the phone, picking it up before it had even gotten through its first ring. “Hello?” he said, sharp and anxious.

Xander waited, heart in his throat.

Giles’s shoulders relaxed, his face softening. “Darling,” he said. “Yes. Yes, we’re making cookies. Yes.” He paused, listening. “That’s—that’s wonderful news. Is the—” His smile flickered. “Oh. So you still have to—all right. Yes.” He swallowed. “I love you too. Stay safe.”

What’s going on? Xander mouthed.

Giles held up a hand, then hung up the phone. “They defused the bomb, but the Hellmouth is only a few minutes away from opening,” he said.

Xander thought about Cordelia up against a big, gross hell-monster and felt sick. “When are the cookies done?” he said.

“I don’t know,” said Giles. “I think that I would rather like to bake something else right now.”

Anything was better than waiting around. “Isn’t the oven in use?” asked Xander.

“Willow likes pudding, doesn’t she?” said Giles. “We can make that on a stovetop, and then we can make some hot chocolate for,” he swallowed, “for when they all come home.”

Home. Xander liked that. He liked that almost enough not to think about his friends fighting evil while he made fucking pudding in a kitchen. “Yeah, okay,” he said.

“Xander?” said Giles, and crossed the room, then placed his hands on Xander’s shoulders. This felt more deliberate than Xander’s dumb, clumsy hug, and the way Giles was looking at him reminded Xander a little bit of the way Giles sometimes looked at Buffy, and the combo of those two things made Xander almost unable to meet Giles’s eyes. “They’re going to be all right,” said Giles, just the way Jenny always said it. “Come now. Let’s make some pudding.”

It was three in the morning, Giles and Xander eating cookies and pudding in front of the television, when the door burst open and a chattering horde of people tumbled through. Cordelia’s hair was burnt off on one side, and Faith was leaning heavily on Buffy, and Jenny had what looked like a messed-up wrist, but they were all alive. They were all alive.

Xander stood up very fast.

“Oh my god, Xander, don’t look at me!” Cordelia shrieked, attempting to hide behind Willow. “I have to get a haircut! I look like some lopsided Before picture!”

“Before what?” Willow asked, mouth twitching.

“Hi, honey,” Jenny was whispering, and Xander saw that Giles’s face was buried in Jenny’s shoulder. He was shaking. That was a lot for Xander to process, especially since Giles had held himself together impressively well for pretty much all of the night. “Hi. Hey. We’re all okay.” She pulled a face. “I mean, I probably need to get my wrist checked out, but I break bones all the time. Nothing new.”

Xander crossed the room to help Faith off of Buffy, who looked pretty drawn and exhausted herself. “I can get her up to bed,” he said to Buffy.

“No, it’s okay,” said Buffy, and took Faith fully in her arms, giving her a soft kiss. “You kicked ass,” she whispered.

“Sure did,” Faith agreed, starry-eyed.

“Please stop,” said Cordelia. “Gag-worthy.”

“Hey, Cordy, I love you,” said Xander suddenly. It felt like something he kinda just really had to say, seeing her there in all her Cordy-ness. The world had almost ended, but Cordelia Chase was mostly just upset about her haircut and excessive PDA—and for some not-so-stupid reason, that made him love her just so much.

Cordelia blinked, peering out from behind Willow. Her hands fluttered to her hair. “But I look the worst right now,” she said breathlessly.

“So?” said Xander.

Cordelia bit her lip, smiling, and ducked her head. “I love you too, loser,” she said, and crossed the room, leaning in to cup Xander’s face in her hands and kiss him. She smelled like burnt hair and demon blood, and Xander felt kind of sick from all the pudding he’d been eating, but none of that took away from the fact that it was the best kiss of his entire life.

“Okay, everybody needs to stop kissing and go to bed,” called Jenny from the couch. “We’ll take it easy tomorrow, but right now I think we all really need a break—”

“I love it when you take charge,” said Giles happily.

Cordelia pulled back, bumping her nose against Xander’s. “Love ya,” she whispered, then giggled, like she almost couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to say it.

“Super glad you’re not dead,” Xander whispered back. “You wanna stay over?”

“Safe sex, kids!” called Jenny, who was shepherding Faith and Buffy up the stairs.

“Thank you for totally ruining that, Ms. Calendar!” Cordelia called back, but tucked her arm into Xander’s anyway.

[probablyquestionablerpgideas]

My Current PC

Okay Y’all! So i’ve gotten some questions about my current player character, and while I have a tab on my page about her, I figured, why not write a more updated version. Just a heads up, I wrote A LOT, so I’m posting it with a read more link.

Also because I'm a total music nerd, here’s a link to the ever-growing playlist I made for her on Spotify 

Her name is Tahlia Corrah Maern’thyn Hartecourt. She’s a half-elf transmutation wizard with one level in fighter. 

Tahlia’s father was a human noble lord, and he had an affair with Tali’s mother, who was one of his bakers at the time. Classic story for now. Lord Hartecourt already had three children with his wife before Tahlia, he even had one with her after Tali. But he always treated his illegitimate daughter better than the rest of his kids. She never knew why—she was kind of a little shit sometimes. But to be fair, so were her other siblings— the point is that she got basically everything she ever asked for. She’d be a total brat if her mother and uncle didn’t teach her to Fucking Not Be That. Her uncle (mother’s brother) was the local court wizard, a sort of magical advisor to Lord Hartecourt. He started training Tahlia in wizardry at a VERY young age, and she was good at it. She picked up on magic very fast.

Tahlia honestly was adored by the people in her hometown. She went around meeting and befriending a lot of people—that’s how she learned carpentry, soap making, and candle making. She made good friends with the shop owners. She also had a friend named Ardre who was a bard from a very poor family, and they both would get into a lot of trouble around town, but usually for the sake of fun or for helping people (this one time, the candle making shop made these cool candles that would let you re-use the wax! Everyone bought them and then sales went down a lot cause no one needed new candles as often. Tali and ardre went around stealing as many as they could to get people buying again)

And so all of that is well and good, right? She had a GREAT childhood. Everybody loved her. Everything was great.

...

Well, was is the key word in all of that. Wanna know why her father had the affair? Turns out, he made a deal with a demon. The price of it was that he would give up his next born child. And well, he wasn’t going to do that to his wife. So he had to do something different. Someone he could easily manipulate. A servant woman who was a hopeless romantic, and her coward of a brother, the wizard who wouldn’t stand up for himself even if his life was on the line. Lord Hartecourt had the court wizard train Tali in magic, so that she would have a strong mind and body—the demon was supposed to possess this girl, she had to be able to survive this. It killed the uncle, but he was too afraid to tell his niece to run. Instead he tried to train her every mental defense he could. She was like a daughter to him. Tahlia was close to a great many people, but her and her uncle had a stronger bond than anyone.

So her 18th birthday, right? Things go great, there’s this massive party, things are amazing. And then she starts feeling tired. Some of her father’s men guide her down to dungeons—she had been drugged and only realized it when she saw the bloody ritual circle on the floor, and the purple fires surrounding it. She didn’t have the energy to run or fight. They threw her into the circle and started to summon the demon so that it could take her body. They got half way through. Then everything went to shit.

Her uncle, in his first and final act of bravery, came in, pushed her the fuck out of the circle, and they had to fish the summoning with /him/, instead of the intended host (those in the circle are unable to get back out unless acted upon by a outside force).

This was the worst night if Tahlia’s entire life.

There was so much PAIN, her chest BURNED, she was so hurt, and upset, so full of anger, she felt so sick. She wished she could curse everyone involved in the situation. She wished them all to die.

But nothing happened. No one would help her. No safety came. They just locked her up in a cell in the dungeon across from her sleeping uncle. When he woke up days later, he was so different he kept shouting at her and saying these terrible horrible awful things, joking at her, taunting her, telling her how she was nothing.

And then Ardre came. He had a plan. He saved her, he broke her out. She stole what she could from her father’s estate, and ran away from home. She sold what she stole. And then focused on getting stronger.

But the thing is... everything in her life was dark from then on out. She could feel the demon—she’s been half possessed ever since she was pushed out of that circle. Not enough that the demon can take control of her like he has her uncle, but enough that he could ruin her fucking life. Tali always feels this burning sensation in her chest—ever since the ritual was botched, there’s been this awful mark there, fading away at the bottom. It was supposed to be completed and disappear when the demon fully took hold of her, but that never happened. That mark hurts constantly. It’s a burning hunger. The demon needs to be reunited with herself, and she can feel it.

Tahlia also keeps getting these impulses to do awful things. Hurt people. Steal things. Stuff like that. Whenever she slept, she would have nightmares—after a while she started just not sleeping for as long as her body would let her.

And through all of this, she kept fighting for power so she could become strong enough to go back, fight him, and defeat him, while somehow saving her uncle in the process. . . Tahlia didn’t go about it in a very good way. She took bounties, killed people for some pretty bullshit reasons. She killed a shop owner once just because he didn’t want to give her a spell… not her proudest moment. Things got... so dark. She can’t remember all of that time, the first few years away from home. Things were so awful that she has selective amnesia at this point. She tries to remember everyone she’s killed at least, but even then, she’s forgetting some of them. She is not proud of that point in her life. But the only reason it changed is because of an accident.

One day, she nearly died after a battle, and was found by a old retired cleric. He nursed her back to health, and put a enchanted bracelet on her. It helped block out the demon. It lessened the pain. It stopped the impulses. It topped her from having dreams entirely. She could finally IGNORE this fucker. This thing that she hated so much. It felt like freedom.

After that, she eventually met up with fellow party member, Hyem (played by @mysticalmondfee). He grew up in a brothel surrounded by people who loved him, and became a demon hunter just cause demons seemed scary. He used to be best friends with Tahlia, but now he’s her boyfriend. The other party member is Sylvia (played by @rusticpiano79), who is a elven warlock who’s patron is a demon lord. She’s lawful evil and has killed people simply to get a book. It is a fucking INTERESTING party and probably shouldn’t succeed as much as it has. Our lovely lovely lovely DM is @probablydidrpgideas 

[occultusrp]

CALLA CENTAUR.

NAME: UTP of CROWLEY.

OCCUPATION: LORD.

AGE: 26-31.

PRONOUNS: HE/HIM.

FC SUGGESTIONS: Regé-Jean Page, Lucien Laviscount, Elliot Knight. *note this character is of Black descent.

CALLA.

You are the second born and as such you never had to shoulder your older brother's burdens, though out of sibling love you tend to help him whenever he asks for your aid. While your parents spoil you to no end, you are not spoiled in nature and you return their affection with love and loyalty. You inherited your father's kind nature, but also your mother's fiery temperament. Being a man it means you enjoy a good fight and a night spent out with your friends, flirting and drinking, and gambling - but latter done discreetly and in moderation, responsible enough to never pick a losing bet. You know your family's future rests upon your older brother, but that doesn't mean you will squander your family's wealth and tarnish their reputation - in fact, you often fight to protect their good name in front of those who wish to see it go to ruin.

Your brother's nuptials came as a surprise to you, but the one you knew you should've seen coming. You're not sure what to think of his Bride to be, but you see the disappointment in your brother's eyes, which makes you inclined to dislike both Jessamine Daemon and your future sister in law.

CENTAUR.

They think you're spoiled and volatile, but they never say such things to your face. If it is a man who gossips about you, you teach him a lesson, but if it is a woman, you simply smile at her. You are wise enough to pick your battles and like your mother you are a creature of the earth - calm and nurturing, until someone provokes the earthquake within you. When they try your patience to the very limit, you feel the sleeping earth awakening in you, itching to bring righteous destruction upon those foolish enough to test you.

INVITED TO TEA.

DRAGONBLOOD CETUS & TULIP CHIMAERA. You cherish your parents and, unlike your older brother who's always been a bit of a wild soul, you took a protective role over them. You hear the things whispered about them and their ability to ignore such talks leaves you both baffled and enraged. More than once you've been involved in fights while attempting to protect them from the gossip and, while they scold you for such behaviour, you know your mother is proud of you, approving smile barely hidden while she lectures you. 

ORCHID BANSHEE. Your younger sister is often a nuisance, but you love her dearly and strive to protect her from the sorrows of life. You often clash heads with her, as all siblings do, but discord between you rarely lasts for longer than a day. She is insightful and lately you find yourself asking for her advice more often than you did before.

YARROW HYDRA. Your relative is a fun person to have around whenever they come for a visit. Their personality resembles your mother's, but unlike her they seem much more relaxed and unbothered by the general conventions. You like spending time with them and you wish you could see them more often.

LAVENDER ARACHNE. The architect is your closest friend and someone you confide in. They are the first you go to whenever something worries you and they share in your joys and sorrows. Close in age you treat them as another sibling even if you are of different social standing.

DATURA UNICORN & BELLADONNA NYMPH. One is an annoyance and the other is an acquaintance. Datura Unicorn's views on life match yours, but you find yourself annoyed by her smug smiles and a patronizing way in which she speaks to you. She intrigues you, but so does Belladonna Nymph, who seems a lot more aligned to what you seek for in a young lady. She has the matching social standing and she is generally soft spoken, but there is a spark in her which piques your interest. 

CALLA CENTAUR IS PORTRAYED BY UTP AND OPEN.

[searchpartydnd]

Final Session of Arc 1, Fate Touched

Session 10:

Inveni Domus, otherwise known as The Search Party, is a group of five skilled individuals who are dedicating their time to recovering the Novus Designs. These ancient artifacts were some of the first magical items ever created, only ever brought together once in recorded history by the circle of eight, the founding fathers of modern magic (ie Bigby, Volo, Modenkainen, Otiluke, etc.). Their main goal is to ultimately stop Lady Cecilia, a powerful entity who claims she is a god, from obtaining any of the designs to use for her own unpleasant purposes. 

Current Party Members: 

Avaar Acosta - High Elf Arcane Archer

Calladyne - Half-Elf Glamour Bard

Dixillion Ramada - Human Revenant Champion Fighter

Val Ganderstim - Aasimar Warlock of the Raven Queen

Veir Torunn - Dwarven Gunslinger

Artifacts recovered: 2

Turmoil on the Tundra

It’s the dead of winter up in the icy plains that encircle the peaks of Lyrengorn. The party had just recovered Cepheus, the Shroud of Tears, The Second. The clasp, created by the pre-ascended Raven Queen, is now worn by Val, who has just fucked up.

Like, big time.

The party had been in Bigby’s tower, stumbling through weird gravity, hacking desperately at enormous mimics, and getting stomped on by powerful constructs in bath houses. They eventually reached Bigby’s study, recovering the item as well as the wizard’s personal journal. Reading through, they had found more information about other Novus Designs and one was mentioned to be a bow. 

Most party members immediately looked to Avaar, as she seemed a likely candidate to wield it. However, Avaar expressed her dislike to take on another magical item that was going to attract the attention of undesirables. 

Avaar, prior to meeting the party, had willingly put on armor owned by a man named Lucidious. She soon found out, however, that she could not remove the armor and that the wearer had to obey all of their master’s commands. Lucidious turned out to be a massive evil dick and turned Avaar’s life into a living nightmare, forcing her to do terrible things, making her work for evil organizations.

Lucidious was killed in an attack, leaving Avaar free of him, but not of the armor. She came to Tal’dorei and joined up with Inveni Domus, eventually revealing to her friends the curse she had to live with. In an fight with Hags, Avaar was left greatly injured and mentally scarred, going into a nightmarish coma. Later, after she awoke and helped the party fend of Queen Cecilia’s lackeys, the armor began to break and chip away, finally getting fully removed when the party realized the magic binding it to Aavar was no longer there.

After Avaar had understandably voiced her distaste to take on another magical item, Val, on an rather unkind impulse, had commented “Well, you did wear that armor for a while,” implying that the arcane archer had also attracted unwanted attention and terrible things in her time enslaved to Lucidious. 

Avaar just walked out. Dixie gave chase, while Calladyne followed more slowly. Val stayed behind to help Veir gather the items they needed before heading out into the Tundra. A blizzard was approaching on the horizon.

Calladyne reprimanded Val for the comment, pointing out how the 16-year-old had been rather unkind to the group and really needed to re-examine how she treated her friends.

Val, still desperate to apologize, ran off to find Dixie and Avaar. When she caught up, Avaar snapped at the Warlock.

“You don’t think I don’t know what I have done? I have to live with that guilt every day!” (I’m paraphrasing here) “Is this how you treat your friends? Grow up Val!”

The blizzard finally hit the party, making it hard to see. They discuss whether or not to take shelter in Bigby’s tower or make the trek back to Lyrengorn. They don’t get the chance to decide was a massive form dashed past, scooping up Val in the process.

Two Yetis, attracted by the very loud noises we were making, decided to pay us a visit. 

For the first half of the battle, Val was basically a football, getting thrown about and used as a bludgeoning weapon. 

They were able to defeat the Yetis due to a well timed Hypnotic Pattern by Calladyne. 

Licking their wounds, the party headed back for Lyrengorn, trading their winter cloths for garments more suited for tropical weather. Avaar and Dixie head off together to find out more information from the Archdruid of the main temple in the sanctuary while Veir, Calladyne, and Val head off on seperate business. 

Avaar and Dixie speak with the head ArchDruid, asking about the Winter Court in the Feywilde (of which they believe Calladyne was part of). Yura says it is a nasty topic, and that the queen is the nastiest topic of that court. The Archdruid describes her as cold and vicious, and that she is a dangerous entity to have as an enemy. Calladyne spends time at a shrine to the Archeart, a god that she once worshipped before she was taken into a Fey court. Unsure of her belief in gods, she asks for guidance of some kind. She feels nothing, but she later discovers a new line at the end of her newest song.

Val goes to inform the airship captain that they found what they were looking for, only to instead receive word that the archanist (Allura Vysoren) they were originally going to visit in Vasselheim had shown up in Whitestone. Lord and Lady De Rolo had informed her of the party’s activities and intent, causing the mage to contact the entire Arcana Pansophical and bring the matter to their attention. They are to leave in the morning and head directly for Vasselheim, instead of going to Emon and then charter a ship to the holy city.

Val goes to the hostel where they were staying to inform the group of this new change, but finds only Calladyne (Performing Cherry Wine). After passing along the information, Val says she is going to sleep in the airship for the night, to get out of the party’s way. Calla says the party wouldn’t mind, but understands if Val was uncomfortable. Before Val leaves, Calladyne says she wants to talk later, when everyone’s heads are clearer.

Veir heads off into the city in search of something, but the party does not know what happens until later.

As night takes the sanctuary city, Calladyne performs for the people, garnering many new fans after another stunning performance (and raising her fame stat to 13). Avaar was also able to glean some more backstory about Veir’s past, learning that his drive was to prove the capability of firearms and, by extension, himself.

Calladyne and Avaar (they are an item) share an intimate moment that night and Avaar tells Calladyne that she’s been looking into the Feywilde so that she can help the bard if her past ever comes back. Calladyne sees the effort put in to helping her / saving her and breaks down, recognizing that she might actually be free from the Archfey and Her illusions. Calla tells her lover everything that happened to her while she was in the Feywilde in the court of a sadistic archfey. The full extent of these terrible events are secret for now, but who knows when they may come spilling out.

The party departed on the small De Rolo airship they had arrived in the next morning. For two weeks they traveled, and for two weeks, there were some shenanigans and conversations to be had.

Apparently, on his short trip around the city, Veir had acquired magical eye gear that allowed him to read multiple languages. He needed them in order to properly read Bigby’s journal, which was written in several different languages.

Avaar wasn’t ready to deal with it.

He also made a kite for some reason.

It wasn’t very well crafted.

Calladyne was able to finally pull Val aside for their talk, mentioning a certain incident that had occurred in Whitestone.

Long story short, emotions were running high when baby Vax was taken, so when the council member who had betrayed the royal family refused to answer any questions regarding the organization she worked for, Val had gotten…trigger happy.

After another refusal to comply, even though the warlock was threatening to kill the woman and use her pact of the tome ability that allowed the questioning of a soul, Val shot off eldritch blasts into the Myriad member’s chest, killing the bound captive. She asked her question and through the fast action of Calladyne, the present party members were able to revivify the woman.

Val had never killed someone is cold blood before. She hadn’t even considered it until Calladyne had pointed it out. Additionally, Calladyne mentioned similar things happening to her (being killed and revived) on multiple occasions, though she doesn’t specify further. This led to some very troubled thoughts and inner turmoil for the young Aasimar.

“I’m afraid of snakes.” Those were the first words Avaar addressed Val with since their confrontation outside of Bigby’s tower.

“When my siblings and I would fight, we’d make up by telling each other a secret about ourselves,” Avaar explained.

Val admitted she didn’t like dressing like a goth, which she had been doing since she was twelve. She preferred her current Valkyrie look over the dark aesthetic she had thought all Raven Queen took up.

Later, as the airship neared Vasselheim, Calla and Avaar shared a talk about fate. Avaar refuses to believe in it, not trusting her life in the hands of a god, preferring that her past was controlled solely by her own actions. Calla confessed that she believed the opposite, that they were destined to be on this path. She told Avaar she’d rather die a martyr than live as a survivor.

Vasselheim in view now, the party finds that the artifacts they currently have react in the presence of one another, becoming more active and magically charged. Dixie’s hand has also begun to glow, shining brighter and brighter the closer the party neared the city.

Landing just outside the city, Val is practically jumping for joy, excited to finally officially commune with her patron and show her friends around the city she was trained in not too long ago.

Dixie and Calla head off to the Platinum Sanctuary first, the scale on Dixie’s hand shining brighter as they approached Bahamut’s center of worship.

Dixie met the dragon god who resurrected her, confused and conservative about her true feelings towards her current relationship with the god of justice. 

Mad props to our DM @its-okay-to-yowz​ because he made one hell of a scary dragon god when he began screaming “DON’T LIE TO ME DIXILLION!”

Through a bit more prodding, The Platinum Dragon was able to get his revenant to embrace her desire for vengeance. They rounded out their conversation almost like coach psyching up their player for a game.

Dixie is now a Champion Fighter with one level in Paladin.

Veir ventured off to go gather supplies while Avaar was dragged along by Val to the Duskmeadow. 

Upon approaching the steps, the doors are opened for the pair and Val’s raven flies off, leading them to the pool of blood deep in the temple. Val won’t shut up, voicing her previous frustration that the priests wouldn’t let her into the communion room before. Avaar is visibly nervous about the whole process, despite Val’s assurances that everything is going to be fine.

Shedding some clothing, Val tells Avaar that things might get wonky with time and she may be going for a while before practically swan diving into the pool of icy blood.

Val still has to come to very cusp of death in order to see her patron, so it takes her a moment to work up the will to actively drown herself. Avaar watches as the surface where Val disappeared gets violently disturbed after a minute, showing obvious signs of someone drowning, but she holds herself back as the blood eventually stills. No body floats to the top.

Val finds herself in the same dark space she usually sees in her dreams, her Raven on the floor in front of her. Normally, it would either speak as her Patron or become her Patron, but this time it transforms into a man. It’s Vax.

He beckons the warlock and she follows excitedly, heading into the blackness, seemingly going nowhere.

Eventually, the ground becomes smooth obsidian granite and a doorway appears. Vax turns to Val.

“No matter what happens, you should know that she is so proud of you.” He presses a simple black bracelet of woven thread into her hand before Val steps inside. 

Val enters the Raven Queen’s throne room, a chamber made of shifting shadows. The Goddess herself is in her smaller form, appearing more humanoid as she welcomes Val. 

(The order as to what was said here is a bit wonky, but the details are there.)

The Matron of Ravens tells Val that she is glad to finally speak with her, noting how Val is wearing her clasp, and that she and the other gods have seen something on the horizon that they can’t make out. The strings of fate have blurred. She explains that in her desperation to find a candidate to enforce her hand in the conflict to come, she chose the young Aasimar, much to young at the time to be burdened with such a task. She apologized to Val for how things were, but Val just replied “I’m used to it. This is what I want to do. I chose to follow you on my own, it was my decision to make.” 

The Raven Queen removed her mask at that point, revealing her true face to a now crying Val. She whispered her name to her warlock, locking the secret into the back of the teenager’s mind. Val knows the name, it’s within her, but she doesn’t actually have to means to recall it or speak it. She just carries with her the knowledge that she knows the name.

Val finds out from her Goddess that there were five fate touched that the Gods were scrambling to get a hold of, Val among them. It is implied that the others are the members of Inveni Domus.

Val apologized for not upholding the values she was supposed to embody in Whitestone, to which the Raven Queen agrees that it was a most undesirable action that should never occur again. 

The Raven Queen warns again that there are dark times ahead, that she is fearful of not being able to see where the threads are leading. Val tells her that she’ll shine some light on the matter. RQ tells Val to go get ‘em (or something the writer will be editing this later) to which Val says “You know I will.” 

Feathers.

Cut to six hours later. Avaar has been worried sick, curing fate and the Raven Queen, afraid for the youngest party member. Val bursts out of the pool, yelling for Avaar. Helping the teen out of the pool, Avaar asks what happened. Val tells her all about the meeting (leaving out certain, more private bits), trying to dispel Avaar’s worry.

Avaar, however, is not convinced, still apprehensive to trust a God who chose a 16-year-old to be her champion. Val tells her that she doesn’t think she is her goddess’s champion, that the man she met in the meeting was the holder of that title.

Avaar asked what happened to him. Val’s response was not comforting. (bottom right corner doodle in previous picture.

So we close, zooming out from the five fate touched as they attend to their various activities. 

A Fate Forged in Iron (Veir)

A Fate of Vengeance (Dixie)

A Fate Embraced (Calladyne)

A Fate Looking Ahead  (Val)

A Fate Redeemed (Avaar) 

 author’s note :The crazy thing is, we all developed our backstories and characters separately, having no knowledge of what anyone was planning. @its-okay-to-yowz wanted us to all be fate touched from the very start, even before we created characters, as we had all been brought together by chance at GenCon and through a couple of chance meetings and well timed inquiries. 

He created a Novas Design made by the Raven Queen even he knew that Val was going to be a Warlock of hers. Our character colors all match up. Tony was able to take elements of our backstories and weave them together. Calla and Avaar both went through similar stories of trauma and abuse, bonding over their shared struggles. It was meant to be the whole time, and we had no idea. Tony just sat back and watched us flounder about and struggle to grasp how perfect our stories were and how well everything fit together.

Thus the first arc as named Fate Touched.

[luwucas04]

About 4000 (I am so sorry) Words Concerning Films that Helped Define My Existence

Ah, movies. So much in one package. Story, music, visuals, what’s not to love? Today I shall be elaborating on the most noteworthy films in the thrilling ever-changing saga that continues to be my life. Screenplay alongside a screenplay, if you will (please take this statement as modestly as you can).

The first ever thing in my entire life that I remember being an avid and enthusiastic fan about was the original Star Wars saga, written and directed by George Lucas, spanning May 1977 (A New Hope) – May 2005 (Revenge of the Sith).

As mentioned in the podcast and as you may be able to tell from said podcast, I can’t really pinpoint an exact point in my life where I was introduced to it as it was kinda integrated into my upbringing from the get-go—and due to this it’s a very near and dear franchise to me. And oh boy fun fact my first ever childhood crush was Luke Skywalker (I vividly recall my uncle asking why I had his page bookmarked haha). I remember it was something that I would always watch with my dad and or grandpa, and then when I couldn’t find the VCR set that we had for it, I officially commenced my illicit streaming career (not really though, I didn’t get very far. Only crappy 20-minute clips on YouTube). Star Wars for me was the first thing that I actively sought out stuff for or showed genuine interest in pursuing if that makes sense. Like, you’d watch whatever movies or shows were thrown at you and you never thought much of them. Ohoho not Star Wars, though, that one lasted years. My cousin and I would always bring our little action figures to play with whenever we visited—or we’d find long-ish sticks in the backyard and have lightsaber fights, I got the video games, posters, Lego sets of ships (X-wing and Y-wing to be exact), an entire encyclopedia that I still own to this day (I just checked and there’s a date written inside, April 9th 2010 (which is my 7th birthday)), and of course inspiration for my own art and such. I remember I made this magazine that was essentially just me redrawing pages from the guidebook I had. I still have it, too! Sitting at the bottom of a drawer right now. Also, later on for some reason I absolutely loved drawing Ashoka Tano. Over and over again man. I drew her taking up my cousin’s entire driveway in chalk once.

Not only are the Star Wars films a nostalgic and comforting series, but it held onto its marvel throughout the. Wow well over 10 whole years, I’m getting old. Additionally, because at the time we didn’t have as much access to the things we can achieve with modern technology, I was basically all on my own with it. I fueled my own fascination. And shockingly, not a lot of people in my elementary school (up until maybe grade 6-7) showed much interest in it either. So it was pretty much just me myself and I, and occasionally my cousin whenever he visited, and I think that made it all the more special to me. Also, at the time I think it was geared way more toward kids. There weren’t series like The Mandalorian or active internet communities that were obsessed with the series as far as I was aware, so there wasn’t the same quantity of content nor overall enthusiasm around it. Nonetheless, it was and still is a very personal series due to how engrained it is into basically every aspect of my childhood. I’ll try not to be too repetitive with what I said in the podcast, but ultimately the clear nature of the franchise (attractive character designs, colours, setting in general (it’s an action-packed space adventure what’s not to love)) is what really made me latch onto it, and it kickstarted my interest in the very essence of media and understanding the film medium and what it has to offer. I remember asking how they got Jar Jar to exist on screen and he told me they made him out of CGI, and I interpreted that as they somehow made a real-life computer model out of him and that they were actually interacting with like a physical, solid hologram. Anyway, revisiting the franchise and diving into more of its intricacies now (like the production diaries) is like an absolute goldmine. There are so many aspects of it that 100% contributed to and nurtured my goals, passions, and ultimately who I am as a person. Here is some of my very recent art for good measure:

Up next up we got Lord of the Rings (dir. Peter Jackson, December 2001 – December 2003) or I guess a better way to put it would be those plus The Hobbit (December 2012 – December 2014) trilogy. I think it was earlier than the Marvel phase (which follows this section) because like Star Wars I can’t really remember my first viewing of it, but I definitely watched it all. It might’ve been around grade 3 so 2011-ish? Quick anecdote, one time I had a sleepover I was really excited for, and as we all know when you’re excited for something as a kid and it’s later on in the day, time doesn’t actually pass at all, and so my genius ass decided to flip on The Fellowship of the Ring and boom it was 5 pm and time to leave. Also my grandparents from my mom’s side of the family (they’re German so we call them oma and opa) were visiting once and my opa (grandpa equivalent) wanted to watch something so I was like “omg Lord of the Rings is perfect there are so many characters he can feel empowered by (Gandalf and Saruman because they’re old)”. Phenomenal logic—now thinking back it was probably much too violent for his tastes but yknow.

I love Lord of the Rings so much because it’s the true embodiment of an ideal fantasy story; there’s such pure character dynamics and personalities and Tolkien created such an incredibly solid world in which these stories take place. Man knew his stuff, and in turn provided a charming and utterly wonderful scape for young minds to roam free within. I was going to talk about this if I did my other culminating idea regarding masculinity within the media, but I have the perfect opportunity to do so here: something so great about said world is how sincere and genuine a lot of the male characters are (yknow minus people like Denethor and Alfred). Namely the fellowship, they all openly care for and are affectionate towards one another, something we rarely see between men both in modern media and in real life. Aragorn is a perfect example of someone owning and being comfortable in his masculinity. He is kind to and uplifts others, and communicates openly with them. He isn’t afraid of being intimate and vulnerable towards them, either. We see this in Boromir’s death scene. Aragorn doesn’t patronize him for trying to take the Ring, he consoles Boromir in his last moments and they treat each other with the utmost tenderness and respect—not callously or stiffly. Right after decapitating an orc, Aragorn is still able to run to his side, hold him, and kiss him on the forehead following his passing. Aragorn also isn’t afraid to share fame or glory, in fact he never seeks it out in the first place despite his lineage. It was at the battle of Helm’s Deep that he embraced that destine to be king, not out of lust for power, but because these people needed guidance and leadership and he could provide it for them. He elevates others in an incredibly positive and empowering way, especially Frodo and Éowyn, and is content with the fact that the story is not about him. Even at his own coronation, he directs every single person’s attention to the literal earth-saving feat that the hobbits have achieved in light of his own massive accomplishment. He is such a great role model to have been able to look up and aspire to be like, and I wish there were more characters and people like him.

I was a fan of those original films at an earlier point in my life, but the thing that brought that interest back a little stronger was undoubtedly the release of the Hobbit prequels. Like the Star Wars prequels, everyone can say what they want but they are very gorgeous to me. I skipped out on seeing Frozen with my class to go see The Desolation of Smaug with my dad and that was SUCH a good decision. Although, I’m rewatching them all now and Battle of the Five Armies kinda sucks at the beginning. They kill Smaug in like the first five minutes and like it wasn’t bad but it was very anticlimactic. I also don’t like how they shoved Legolas in there, his personality is really jaded and he’s kind of a big prick in those films. But it’s fine I love Martin Freeman and Richard Armitage and the rest of the dwarves the most. They were obviously the most significant and I like them a lot, and there are three movies as opposed to the one book so there’s even more content!

WHEW sorry about that anyway The Hobbit really was the revival/rekindling of that past love for Tolkien’s world. I also had a good close friend who was also along for the ride as well—being able to be into these things alongside someone is always fun and I’m grateful she was there and shared my same energy. She had the Lego game for that one, very similar free-roam concept as my Marvel one (coming up next), so we had lots of fun with that too. To reiterate, I am rewatching these movies again now as an older person with like an actual conscience, and my takeaway from them is vastly different on more of like… a philosophical level, I suppose. I appreciate the process of things more and the backstory behind Tolkien’s lore and the timeless characters and deeper meanings that he’s conceived. But that wouldn’t be very chronological of me to go into it here so moving on.

Proceeding next, around grade four at the most (so just after it came out), I watched The Avengers (dir. Joss Whedon, 2012). Not only did this single-handedly make my art convictions explode (in a good way), it also instigated my love for soundtracks (and also the entire Marvel universe but we’ll obviously be covering that very soon).

The Avengers was like an epiphany for me. Literally ground-breaking and earth-shattering. Changed my entire 10-year-old life. It was all that I ever wanted and more, and since it was around 2012-13 that I became aware of its existence, the internet community was blossoming with possibilities and content. That same friend liked it as well! My Avengers/Marvel phase definitely rivals my Star Wars phase; I think I watched The Avengers first, and then my dad was like “yeah ok you need to watch everything else now” and so henceforth Captain America and Iron Man and Thor. Those were very good times, and I actually remember experiencing all of them for the first time ever. The Christmas of 2013 was absolutely wild. I only got Marvel related gifts which was incredible at the time. My first ever ‘art of’ book was for the Avengers film, too! I also got an arc reactor shirt that actually lit up and I thought that was the absolute coolest thing ever, and then I remember I cut my tongue on this candy I was eating and my mouth bled profusely for a while. However the most iconic gift of all was my copy of Lego Marvel Superheroes for the PS3. I finished it in about 2 days, and it’s the only Lego game that I’ve gotten 100% completed progress on. I love that game dearly and still play it sometimes. The thing that I love specifically about it was the ability to free-roam the entirety of New York City as any character you wanted, me and that friend would do that exclusively for hours on end and make up our own stories with all the characters. Here is Galactus perusing the streets

Speaking of characters, this was the first thing that really got me making up and drawing a shit ton (apologies for lack of a better phrase) of original characters. I’d make superhero characters for me and my friend (ok I guess I should give her a name huh), Mackenzie, and even for random people in my class cause we needed to fill in some blanks in the stories we’d make. I’d create comics, write little stories, make variation after variation of these people we came up with, and of course like normal children me and Mackenzie would go to the park near my old house and pretend we were said characters. Man it was so fun. Then we’d do all those personality quizzes to find out which member you were most like. Mackenzie and I would do these quizzes on none other than our state-of-the-art BlackBerry playbooks. For me it was usually either Iron Man or Thor, and Mackenzie had this weird curse where she’d only ever get Loki as a result for anything at all which was very hilarious to me. Circling back to soundtracks, The Avengers OST was one of my first full album purchases. The main theme was my favourite track out of all of them for obvious reasons, but I still paid respects to all of them and listened to it often. Since I bought it with my dad’s Apple ID, it’d show up on the communal iPad that we used for music in the kitchen and I have full recollection of my grandpa playing it on blast in the morning to wake us up one time. I was aggravated at first but then when I realized what it was I was like ah yes of course. After the Avengers soundtrack, I got the Wolverine (2013) OST and that was fun but I didn’t like all the tracks in the same way, but THEN I got the Days of Future Past soundtrack. THAT is a good soundtrack AND a phenomenal film.

Anyway, after that I was a Marvel connoisseur for a little while. Like Star Wars I got an entire character encyclopedia, a bunch of comics, posters, you name it. My parents and sister also enjoyed dabbling in stuff too; we’d watch the animated series together on Netflix and eventually ended up seeing all the new movies together when they came out in theatres (except not my mom though cause she gets motion sickness from action films). Marvel was a staple in the adolescence stage of my life before I was introduced to anime (then it was all downhill from there (I am kidding anime was a part of my life that I look back at with great fondness)). It was reason for so much of what I explored with my art and my own imagination, and was one of my first experiences in what it was like to be a part of a fandom-esque community. There were also memes ripe for the picking when it came to Marvel; as one can assume I had no access to memes in kindergarten to grade 1 in the late 2000s. It was such a lovely and warm point in my life, something that established what kind of passion I really poured into something when I really liked it. And akin to Star Wars, there’s just so much to like about it. There’s so much to offer, an array of colourful characters and storylines—and of course, creative liberty when it came to superpowers and that whole narrative. The sky was literally the limit. Here is some of my ancient 2014 portraiture that I dug up for the sake of this assignment

Ok heads up we are now veering AWAY from childhood content and touching on a film that played a more personal part, namely during a very pivotal point, in my life. I picked up The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky, 1999) at a bookstore and read it at the speed of light; I was crying in my room on my bed by the time I finished it. I love how we see Charlie’s character change over the course of the novel, not only through what he describes or how he perceives things but his style of writing in general. Anyway, I wanted to read the novel first before I watched the movie (dir. Stephen Chbosky 2012), and I was pleasantly surprised by how accurate the movie is to the book (well duh the author directed it). I read/watched this right before I started high school, so I was kind of (but not really considering the built-up childhood trauma he has yikes) in the same position as the protagonist, Charlie, as he was starting out (minus a lot of the major aspects of his character and what he went/goes through (like drugs)). A lot of the things that he learns were really important takeaways for me before heading into that new chapter of life like he did.

Contrary to the title of the (I know it started out as a novel but I’m just gonna say film) film, you need to put yourself out there and advocate for yourself in life. It’s great to be a trustworthy individual whom everyone is vaguely aware of and likes, but you need to approach things with reason and make yourself known somehow. At the time, both before and during grade 9, and even still sometimes in the present (though I do it more deliberately now), I found myself just standing on the sidelines as life happened before me and I let it sweep me away without having any feet planted on the ground. It was like I wasn’t in control of it, and in turn I might’ve struggled in some areas more than I should have. I didn’t own anything, like I wasn’t totally present. Similar to Charlie, I was a person who’d always be there for others, someone people could talk to and confide in, and ultimately someone people truly enjoyed having around—which is pretty great. But I didn’t fully know my position or what I ultimately wanted in any of those situations. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for my entire freshman experience and I absolutely wouldn’t have wanted it any other way considering all personal circumstances, but with that foreknowledge of the importance of making a name for yourself, especially in high school, I think I was able to branch out with ease a bit more than I would have without it. I at least was aware of what was going on in that sense. That movie is really special to me because it ended up being a pseudo-mirror of my own experiences. Charlie’s English teacher, Bill, embraced his writing abilities and urged him to participate more, share his own thoughts, and express more of his personality by giving him books for extra reading. My first ever semester of Laurier did the exact same for me as Bill did for Charlie. It fostered my interests and intellectual abilities, and you guys constantly urged me and everyone else to go above and beyond what we were used to because you knew we could do it (even though I feel like I could’ve done a lot better on some things as my marks in grade 9 are a bit lower than I’d like them to be, but hey it was a time of adjustment and I did my best and that’s what matters). As a direct result of Laurier, I’m really lucky to have been surrounded by an amazing group of passionate students, a handful of which became my closest friends throughout high school, and that my very first teachers of the day were people who uplifted me and genuinely cared not only about furthering my academic work, but about my growth as a person.

Whew let’s wade out of the sap and get into some more energetic stuff!!! To tie off this recollection of my life through film the most recent and notable movie that impacted my life was, the one and only, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (dir. Peter Ramsey, Bob Persichetti, Rodney Rothman, 2018). Similar to The Desolation of Smaug and Frozen, I went with my dad to the cinema but parted ways with him to watch this movie by my lonesome (he went to the Aquaman theatre instead smh). Again, phenomenal choice. I talked about this in my grade 11 blog, but Spider-Verse is an absolute masterpiece in every way shape and form.

At the point I watched it, I knew what I wanted to generally do with my life (be part of the art industry) and the visuals of this movie alone were enough to make me want to elope with it and never see or talk to anyone ever again. It is such a gorgeous film. The way they strayed from the yucky 3D conventions norm—and there is literally no way they could’ve done the majority of what they did in that movie effectively if they did it live action. Or, they could definitely try and make an attempt, but it’d look like garbage. For example, a lot of the action scenes in general and also when they become abstracted like with the particle collider. 40-60 fps would not do that sense of movement justice at all. Too smooth. Not enough grit and personality.

Anyway, they also pioneered new animation techniques in mixing 2D and 3D, and explored a newer superhero trope where the main character’s own mundane life struggles are equally as important as him trying to sort things out with these new powers. It’s more of a battle between what Miles wants with his own personal life—new school, the friends he won’t be able to see because of said new school, owning his own abilities and adjusting to change. Then on top of that he’s met with all these alternate-dimension people that he has to work and be on par with. Aside from the art, I thought the overall message was every special: Miles learns through trial and tribulations, unsureness—and most importantly, failure. Confidence and optimism, in regard to what he thinks he can and can’t do, is vital. Amidst everything he is faced with, he starts out as just another kid who wants to be just another kid. But we all have something special inside us that we must choose to embrace if we want to truly flourish. We see him come to terms with the fact that he really is capable of greatness if he sets his mind to it—and that’s the main message: anyone can wear the mask. And can we talk about that soundtrack??? Not only the instrumentals, but the actual songs were great too! “Sunflower” and “What’s Up Danger”? Lovely and fitting. And back to the OST, the Prowler’s theme??? Shivers.

There is such a unique and beautiful vibe to this movie, and it’s inspired me in more ways than one. Aside from that nice motivational stuff, it also has recently played a tremendous part in developing my own art. All of the artists who worked on the film are people I immediately tried to find on social media so I could see more of their work. I purchased the art book, and even bought a 2D sequence illustration course provided by one of the art directors, Patrick O’Keefe. That course also came with the (digital) brushes he uses, and I’ve used them in pretty much every single one of my pieces since downloading them. This movie really showed me the possibilities of what could be achieved in the art industry, and it made me want to be a part of it so much more than I was before. I want to be involved in revolutionary visual achievements, and I want to develop characters and stories and worlds that are as interesting and loveable as the ones in Spider-Verse. (my stuff featured below)

So there you have it folks, 5 (five) of the most significant movies in my life relayed in a whopping just over 4000 words. I hope this has been enlightening for all you readers out there, perhaps you now have a better understanding of how I came to be personality/interest-wise, and I hope you can catch a glimpse of that same importance these pieces of media have in regard to me and my values.

[roxilalonde]

[S]:Collapse

mayhaps im just repeating what someone else has already said and said better but [S]:Collide needed to be way smarter than it was 

like. i genuinely think hussie wrote the scene and its prior framing around the striders, terezi, vriska, and john and/or roxy, and then tossed in the rest w/o regard to what could reasonably be deemed a satisfying ending to their arcs.

here’s what could have been tighter:

jake and karkat

so we get jake and karkat in what is ostensibly the most disappointing of all possible ends to their character arcs as people who idolize & emulate their cultures’ respective cults of war - neither a) recognizing that said cult is bullshit, a la the infamous Dave vs. Heteronormativity pesterlog, or b) fulfilling the ideal, i.e., actually doing something heroic requiring combative/physical strength. they take out the Felt. which, ok, sure, but there’s a narrative misstep in pitting your two characters with most aspirations to prove themselves in the field of battle against your weakest enemy for their final portrayed conflict.

put it this way: when karkat talks to meenah he’s clearly still putting a lot of onus on being The One, the guy who fights the big bad, so he can justify his own existence to himself. this is a big problem for karkat - he perceives himself as weak, because of alternia’s unreasonable standards of strength and bravery, so to face LE is to prove his dead planet wrong. he makes a point of it. and then, right before he’s supposed to - nope! he’s fighting a bratty green smuppet. or jake: built up as ultimate superclasspect, in the game-over timeline the big powerhouse in the session: also fighting a bunch of green smuppets! 

and yeah, you could blame it on vriska, but her rant was never narratively treated as bad strategy. even though your most powerful classpect is hitting your least powerful enemy. 

vriska

first of all, see previous: vriska isn’t a good strategist. she puts her weak players (which is vriska. vriska is a weak player, compared to the other people on the battlefield) against the strongest enemies, and her strongest players against the weakest. her arrogance gets in the way of critical thinking. nobody has a problem with this. 

she and terezi don’t get a resolution. vriska isn’t held accountable for the shit that she’s done to the other members of her party. she’s not held accountable for her relationship with terezi (how did that evolve? what changed about them? is she less reactionary? the wonders of a retcon that makes defunct three years of character development) the only place she gets closure is in a dream bubble, and even then, that’s (vriska).

finally: vriska deploying the weapon against lord english is interesting. it fits her, as the person who’s always trying to shove herself into plot developments headfirst. on the other hand: vriska shouldn’t have succeeded. it validates her previous efforts to shove herself into the action - it’s like the narrative is saying, “yes, vriska is so good at this, look at how successful she is when she tries to be the protagonist.” ignoring that a critical part of vriska’s character is that whenever she tries to do something like that, people get hurt. because vriska’s mistake is assuming her importance comes prior to others’ safety. throughout the story we’ve been told “vriska should under no circumstances be allowed to play protag,” and here she is, successfully playing protag.

jane

i would probably have written some pretty scathing analysis here if there was anything involving jane to fucking critique

in all seriousness: jane is sidelined (big surprise) and gets a brief, decent moment with Nannasprite about her issues adjudicating how passive/active to be in her own life. it’s a good moment for the Jane Collective. 

but she doesn’t kill the condesce. i can see why - she’s needed to run around healing people. but if nannasprite can do the exact same thing, there’s no reason that jane, who has the best reason to resent the condesce, shouldn’t be the one to fight her. and yet here we are. jane is the “main” of the alpha session. why is her “big moment” having another version of herself telling her how much cooler she is and then going off to be a passive aid? shouldn’t jane’s conclusion be, “wow, I should involve myself in battles that have personal value to me,” and go off to fight up the condesce?

then dad comes back. which, for a story about growing up - the point is that the kids are learning to live without their parents. there are a lot of allusions in homestuck to the game accelerating maturity: forcing them to “parent” a new world, develop extraordinary skills, growing as a person in accordance with the demands of their classpect. dad coming back alleviates jane of the need to do that: every other parent in homestuck dies. let that sink in. jane’s dad is the only parent who survives, and it’s not clear why. jane should be allowed to mature with the rest of her friends. it’s a feel-good moment, of course, but it’s a regression. what’s driving jane is no longer her dad’s welfare (we should hope); it’s the fate of the new universe. jane’s father should not be her reward. jane’s reward should be her friends’ safety, and the ability to progress as a person - i.e., leave the game. 

kanaya

the thing about strife animations is that we don’t have much time to actually see what’s going on. so for all i know, kanaya and rose were really critical to that battle. and it was really lucky they were there. but for the most part, they were side characters in an animation that concluded with roxy’s triumph. 

kanaya is interesting because the bounds of her mortality are not established. she survives eridan’s blast to the torso but not an incinerating laserbeam, so where does that line fall? pitting her against the condesce is on the one hand, a good decision, narratively (condesce comes from kanaya’s planet, kanaya’s problem; also, it’s clearly established that the condesce is capable of killing kanaya, raising the stakes); on the other hand, it’s hampered by the format. the GO timeline was told mostly in panels. that way, we felt the emotional impact. in [S]:Collide, kanaya could have come close to dying multiple times! as could rose have! our only definitive moments are her pausing in the middle of a battle to apply lipstick or read a book. which is, y’know, pretty funny, i admit! but also not conclusive.

meh, but not critical flaws:

rose: rose’s main power has always been as a strategist, informant, and manipulator of outcomes, and even though she’s formidable in battle, her time to shine should’ve been negotiating how things worked out. which is why i’m baffled that of everyone on that meteor, neither of the seers was the one managing strategy. amazing

terezi: her one-sided pesterlog with vriska was good in the same way the striders’ was good, but unlike the striders’, it’s never resolved, because it’s one-sided. the subject of her idealization is not there to disconfirm her idealizations. she also should have taken over strategy, she is far better than vriska at it

jade: i wish jade had a better-built arc. i’m not saying jade is unlikable or even a bad character it’s just that she does not have notable internal conflict or any struggle against societal norms to motivate her. her main problem is loneliness. but does she discuss that? does she get a resolution?? does she have personal problems derived from loneliness as a child that make her struggle to interact with people in person??? who knows, not the reader

here’s what did work:

roxy vs. the condesce. the condesce is the one who screwed up roxy’s planet; the condesce fucked with roxy’s friends in the GO universe, which only roxy remembers; the condesce subsequently killed rose, right before roxy’s eyes. roxy has reason to be in this fight. we establish early on in her story that roxy and the condesce are direct antagonists to each other and here we close that arc. good writing!

the striders. their chatlog was a detailed and satisfying ending to the strider brothers’ struggle with heteronormativity and flawed role models. “fuck being too cool for that” is a beautiful line in the context of their stories and their affirmation of being awesome without being ‘cool’ is fantastic. the way they work together in the last battle is touching and nice to watch. good writing! could have used more of it.

john. john’s role all along has been to be a friendleader, not a warrior. his minor role in the fighting coupled with his (debatably successful) speech prior makes for a decent finale. (later then we get john ft. Depression in the credits, but i’m not tackling the credits). i have no objections, but maybe that’s because the audience is never supposed to care about john’s development in the same way we care about the strilondes’ and the patron trolls’.

does it matter?

there’s an answer to all this that goes along the lines of “homestuck always defies convention, that’s why it’s lovable,” and while i can see the argument, a) this is really just me outlining why i, personally, am annoyed as fuck, which is to say that i, personally, do not always find it lovable, and b) convention exists for a reason. “convention” isn’t always an antiquated set of constraints aiming to to weigh down fresh creative thinkers; it can be a useful framework for building a good story. and if you reject that framework without maintaining some of the fundamental parts, you get a sloppy narrative. parallels, story cycles, foreshadowing: all of these things should be used conjunctively to set the stage for your conclusion. the stage was not properly set for [S]:Collide. i’m all for subverting obvious foreshadowing, but there’s a difference between “maybe this character will do X in the future, the text alludes to that possibility” and “it would make logical sense, given this character’s current development, for them to do X in the future.” subverting the former is fine. subverting the latter is messy.

and:

claiming dramatic realism does not alleviate you from the restraints of narrative structure and general good writing you shit

then the writer tries to subvert/avoid critique by giving dave’s spiel on “we aren’t characters, rose, we’re people, we don’t have arcs.” but. i’m sorry, but yes, they are characters. yes, they do have arcs. dave’s declaration of “we’re people” is made obsolete by the blatant falsity of what he’s saying - it’s more darkly funny than a legitimate response to criticism. so, yes, the author has a responsibility to tell a coherent narrative within the confines of his chosen medium. which means that yeah, maybe it’s “realistic” to leave their development dangling somewhere in the middle of Act 6, but that doesn’t mean it’s good.

[hereticaloracles]

Asteroid Files: Horus

Helios– Destiny: It’s a powerful force, and a decent if overhyped video game. Given too much, too fast, either of these can drive a boy to insanity, and make him feel that his own life has no meaning outside his purpose. Once that is fulfilled, he is of no further use to the world. At least, that is the side effect of the message that his parents drill into him, with a legacy he can never truly measure up to. So how do you win when the deck is stacked against you?

The Astronomy– 1924 Horus is a main-belt asteroid discovered on September 24, 1960, by Cornelis Johannes van Houten and Ingrid van Houten-Groeneveld at Leiden, on photographic plates taken by Tom Gehrels at Palomar. On the same date, the trio of astronomers also discovered 1912 Anubis, 1923 Osiris and 5011 Ptah, and the trio are credited with several thousand other asteroid discoveries. Horus measures about 12 kilometers in diameter.

The Myth– Horus was one of the most significant ancient Egyptian deities. He was worshiped from at least the late prehistoric Egypt until the Ptolemaic Kingdom and Roman Egypt. Different forms of Horus are recorded in history and these are treated as distinct gods by Egyptologists. These various forms may possibly be different perceptions of the same multi-layered deity in which certain attributes or syncretic relationships are emphasized, not necessarily in opposition but complementary to one another, consistent with how the Ancient Egyptians viewed the multiple facets of reality. He was most often depicted as a falcon, most likely a lanner falcon or peregrine falcon, or as a man with a falcon head.

Horus was born to the goddess Isis after she retrieved all the dismembered body parts of her murdered husband Osiris, except his penis, which was thrown into the Nile and eaten by a catfish, or sometimes by a crab, and according to Plutarch’s account used her magic powers to resurrect Osiris and fashion a golden phallus to conceive her son (older Egyptian accounts have the penis of Osiris surviving). Once Isis knew she was pregnant with Horus, she fled to the Nile Delta marshlands to hide from her brother Set, who jealously killed Osiris and who she knew would want to kill their son. There Isis bore a divine son, Horus. Horus was told by his mother, Isis, to protect the people of Egypt from Set, the god of the desert, who had killed Horus’ father, Osiris. Horus had many battles with Set, not only to avenge his father, but to choose the rightful ruler of Egypt. In these battles, Horus came to be associated with Lower Egypt, and became its patron.

According to The Contendings of Horus and Seth, Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having sexual intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set’s semen, then subsequently throws it in the river so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set’s favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set’s claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus’ claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set.

However, Set still refused to relent, and the other gods were getting tired from over eighty years of fighting and challenges. Horus and Set challenged each other to a boat race, where they each raced in a boat made of stone. Horus and Set agreed, and the race started. But Horus had an edge: his boat was made of wood painted to resemble stone, rather than true stone. Set’s boat, being made of heavy stone, sank, but Horus’ did not. Horus then won the race, and Set stepped down and officially gave Horus the throne of Egypt. After the New Kingdom, Set was still considered lord of the desert and its oases.

Why He Matters– Okay, so first and foremost lets get one thing straight: Egyptian myths are damn WEIRD. I love them to death, but they are nuts and super sexual in odd ways, and this one is no exception. Lets break it down:

Dad gets murdered (odd place to start your origin story, but okay) by his brother and dismembered. Mom goes and gathers all the pieces-parts, sticks them together with the help of a magic talking bird- except the important bit which she makes out of gold- and then proceeds to bang the corpse. Kid grows up in hiding, ready to take down his rival for the throne, who proceeds to assert his dominance… sexually (that part was actually brand new to me, and I’m surprised there isn’t more tumblr fanart for it. Seems ripe for a Yaoi if you ask me) and makes him eat the evidence, which somehow invalidates it? And finally they settle the war for the entire country with a boat race. How in the hell am I going to find a astrological interpretation for this?

Well, in examining some charts, I find him showing up in strong aspect to those who have absent fathers and subsequent daddy issues. He is also representative of those who don’t feel in control of their own destiny, feeling as their life is not their own to live. This can manifest as a mantle that you feel you have to live up to in order to gain acceptance and worth from your family. Of course, Horus is also a war god, so we get all the fun connotations with that- like aggression, strength, drive to show up your rivals, that sort of thing- but it seems to manifest as familial struggle with him. Horus is very much the child (aka the Golden Child in the monomyth) in this dynamic, but at some point every kid has to grow up. He isn’t exactly the poster child for a happy childhood, and that shows in his chart expression. Even with all of that, Horus IS the one you want to look to for breaking out of toxic patterns and getting out of what you feel you are fated to. He (along with Vulcan) is one of the only hero-gods who manages it.

To find out where she shows up in your chart, go to astro.com, put in your birth details and in the extended options, all the way at the bottom of the next page, there will be a menu of additional objects. Under that is a blank space where you can enter the number 1924, for Horus. Once you have it entered, generate the chart! Where does Horus affect your life? Let us know in the comments below!

Asteroid Files: Horus was originally published on Heretical Oracles